{"id":12860,"date":"2000-06-06T20:00:37","date_gmt":"2000-06-07T00:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12860"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:04:44","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:04:44","slug":"when-the-time-comes-by-gwynne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12860","title":{"rendered":"When the Time Comes (by Gwynne)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>Deeply troubled after his return from the Civil War, Adam finds redemption in helping a Rebel seek justice.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (21,780 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the Time Comes<\/strong><\/p>\n

CHAPTER I\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *****\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 KNIGHTS OF THE PONDEROSA
\nThe Ponderosa was entertaining a visitor.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright had been delighted when his old friend, Dan Gordon, had written to ask if he could stop by for a few days.\u00a0 Gordon, a full colonel in the U.S. Cavalry, was on an inspection tour of western posts.\u00a0 He had managing to squeeze in a visit to the ranch before crossing into California to wind up his survey.<\/p>\n

He arrived at the ranch house in time to join the family for a lunch of tender venison roast carefully marinated by Hop Sing and fresh spring vegetables.\u00a0 Pleasantly full the two old comrades settled comfortably in rockers on the front porch to enjoy the late May sunshine and catch up on each family\u2019s latest doings.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are Lucy and the children?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re just fine.\u00a0 Lucy asked particularly to be remembered to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a marvelous woman, Dan.\u00a0 You\u2019re very lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u00a0 And Tom \u2013 you remember Tom don\u2019t you, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure do,\u201d Ben chuckled, \u201cthe little hellion.\u00a0 Remember when you visited us last, and he put those burrs under our saddles just before the Fourth of July parade?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tom\u2019s father laughed fondly at the memory of a parade scattered by wildly bucking horses and flying riders.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he\u2019s twenty now, Ben and a little better behaved.\u00a0 He graduates from West Point next month.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGoing to follow in his Dad\u2019s footsteps, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n

The colonel\u2019s face crumpled in momentary disappointment, but quickly brightened again.\u00a0 \u201cNo, no.\u00a0 You know how it is \u2013 the cavalry is old hat to him.\u00a0 Says he wants to be an artillery officer.\u00a0 Thinks it\u2019s the coming thing in warfare.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019ll do well in anything he undertakes.\u00a0 After all he is your son.\u201d<\/p>\n

The colonel looked hard out into the ranch yard where Adam and Hoss were at work erecting the last of three wooden arches.\u00a0 The arches were nine feet high and were set in a straight line about twenty yards apart.\u00a0 As they watched Little Joe rode underneath the arches and placed a metal ring about two inches in diameter on a hook that depended from the center of each arch.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeaking of sons, Ben, what on earth are your three up to out there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh that\u2019s something Adam read about somewhere.\u00a0 He claims it\u2019s been done since the days of the Round Table \u2013 a sort of modified form of jousting.\u00a0 He\u2019s been pestering us for weeks to try it.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the two proud fathers spoke, Adam and Hoss straightened from planting the last arch as Joe rode up to them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s all set up, Adam \u2013 whatever it is.\u00a0 Now what do we do with it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam picked up one of the six-foot lances resting in the grass at his feet and handed it to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s quite simple.\u00a0 You take this lance and ride under the rings at a run.\u00a0 The object is to catch all three rings on the lance in a single pass without breaking stride.\u00a0 In case of ties the fastest time wins.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t sound too hard,\u201d Joe commented.\u00a0 \u201cLet me have a try at it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam bowed and gestured at the course with a flourish and a grin.\u00a0 \u201cBe my guest.\u201d\u00a0 He and Hoss moved off to get their mounts.<\/p>\n

Joe swung his horse around and trotted back some distance in advance of the first arch.\u00a0 He settled the lance under his left shoulder in a grip that looked awkward to right-handers, but which was perfectly natural to Joe.\u00a0 He set spurs to Cochise and charged down on the course.\u00a0 His lance wavered at the first ring, and he missed it.\u00a0 He steadied his grip and caught the second ring dead center lifting it off its hook and onto his lance.\u00a0 At the third arch Cochise shied, broke stride and veered off.\u00a0 Joe pulled up in disgust and swung back to return the one ring he had captured.<\/p>\n

Hoss was laughing good-naturedly.\u00a0 \u201cMan, that was fine as frog hair, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSon of a gun!\u00a0 That\u2019s trickier that it looks.\u00a0 Think you can do any better, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t hardly do no worse.\u00a0 Here, gimme that pole!\u201d Hoss heaved his big frame into the saddle and took the lance from Joe.<\/p>\n

Hoss lined up for the charge through the course and kicked Chubb, but the horse broke into a rough gallop rather than a smooth run.\u00a0 By flinging up the lance Hoss managed to catch the first ring, but his aim was far too high at the second arch and the lance struck the top arm of the arch.\u00a0 Hoss was lifted out of the saddle and back onto Chubb\u2019s rump. The frightened animal reared and Hoss slid backward onto the ground.<\/p>\n

Joe spurred to catch Chubb as Adam hastened to help Hoss up.\u00a0 Laughing softly he extended a hand to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry Hoss.\u00a0 It\u2019s rude to laugh, but you should have seen your face.\u00a0 Are you hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss got slowly to his feet rubbing his tender rump.\u00a0 \u201cNothin\u2019 but my pride I reckon.\u00a0 Dang!\u00a0 This is gonna take some practice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe cantered up leading Chubb and Adam\u2019s horse, a handsome Appaloosa stallion.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right Lancelot, this whole thing was your big idea.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see you perform,\u201d Joe demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I\u2019ll be happy to show you boys how it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stepped lightly into the saddle, took the lance and swept out in a wide circle coming into the course at a smooth, flat run.\u00a0 The lance stayed rock steady as he took all three rings cleanly and pulled up abruptly at the end of his run.\u00a0 He tapped the gleaming Appaloosa with his spurs and the horse reared dancing on his hind legs as Adam saluted the colonel and his father with the ringed lance.<\/p>\n

His success was rewarded with smiles and a round of applause from the porch.\u00a0 His brothers were less pleased.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoggone it Adam!\u00a0 You\u2019ve done this before.\u00a0 Come on; admit it!\u201d Joe clearly thought there was trickery afoot.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s deep, warm laugh washed over them.\u00a0 He was flushed with victory and his eyes sparkled with good humor.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, okay, I\u2019ll confess.\u00a0 I set up a run on some trees back in the woods a bit.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been practicing whenever I could sneak off from you two for about a week.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe both started for Adam, but he swirled his mount around deftly and galloped away from them.<\/p>\n

The colonel\u2019s delight in the exhibition he had just seen was plain on his honest, open face as he spoke to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cAdam has the seat and eye of a first class cavalryman.\u00a0 It was a loss to the service when he resigned his commission right after the war.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s needed here, but the service would benefit from more officers of his caliber.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s tone was serious when he replied.\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2019s introduction to war was almost too much for him, Dan.\u00a0 He got into it late \u2013 after any idea of chivalrous warfare was long dead, and he saw some of the most brutal action.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had hoped when the war began that Nevada, and my sons, could avoid the conflict, but it was soon evident that no one was going to be spared that terrible decision.\u00a0 After the Territory declared for the Union, the war seemed to press in on Adam more and more, and he and Little Joe were going through one of those rough spots that just develop sometimes no matter how much people basically care for each other.\u00a0 One morning Adam came down with his saddlebags packed, and told us he was sorry, but he had to go.\u00a0 That was the last we saw of him for nearly a year and a half, and he really had me worried for a while when he finally did get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems like I remember getting a wire from you not long after the surrender asking for my help in locating him.\u00a0 All I was able to tell you was that he\u2019d been discharged in Goldsboro, North Carolina at the end of May, and that all his superior officers rated him as outstanding.\u00a0 What was the problem?\u00a0 Did you fine him all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s thoughts focused on his oldest and most enigmatic son.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s boyhood had been difficult.\u00a0 His own dear mother lost at his birth, he had wandered the long road West at his father\u2019s side never staying in one place long enough to make it his home.\u00a0 Along the way they had found the woman Adam regarded as the mother of his heart, big, tender, caring Inger.\u00a0 She had died at his side while he sheltered his baby brother in his arms.\u00a0 The bond he had formed with his half-brother Hoss over the long and terrible winter that followed had never been broken.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s second love was knowledge.\u00a0 He had always been a child who asked \u2018why,\u2019 but true revelation had come when he discovered books.\u00a0 His was a wide-ranging intellect with a strong analytical turn.\u00a0 Each of his sons had their own special gifts, but Adam\u2019s was for learning \u2013 learning and doing.\u00a0 He had the drive to see through to completion even the most complex project, and delighted in planning new enterprises.<\/p>\n

Under the vast trees and among the high mountains of the Ponderosa, Adam had found a home at last.\u00a0 Longing for stability and security, his roots had struck deep into the land.\u00a0 He had labored beside Ben constantly to create the vast enterprise that was the Ponderosa. He did the full day\u2019s work of a grown man by the time he was fourteen.<\/p>\n

Adam had resented Little Joe\u2019s mother at first \u2013 jealous of his father\u2019s time and attention, but Marie\u2019s warm, gay nature had won him over more quickly than Ben had thought possible.\u00a0 He was just rediscovering a love of music and laughter that had submerged somewhere in the struggle for the ranch, when Marie\u2019s horse fell. He lost a third mother only to be left with much of the responsibility for a curly-headed bundle of energy designed by some mischievous spirit to drive older brothers mad.\u00a0 He and Hoss had formed a unit dedicated to protecting Little Joe, largely from himself.<\/p>\n

As always, Adam had done what was needful, but he had retreated again into his books.\u00a0 Some years later when he pleaded to be allowed to go east to college, Ben lacked the heart to refuse, much as he needed his son\u2019s help on the ranch.\u00a0 He had never regretted his decision from the moment of Adam\u2019s return.\u00a0 Although Adam would always be sufficient unto himself, he had breached the shell of isolation.\u00a0 Teachers and comrades with whom he could discuss anything and everything, vast libraries of learning, the East Coast world of music and art and literature had challenged his mind to compete.\u00a0 He had done so brilliantly.<\/p>\n

There too Adam learned for the first time of the attractive power of his stunning good looks.\u00a0 Formed by the land, he was as tall and supple as a high mountain pine, with a lean, muscular body sculpted by hard work and self-discipline.\u00a0 He moved with grace and a bold, rolling gait that riveted women’s eyes.\u00a0 Dark in coloring like his mother, heavy waves of dark hair topped the face of a fallen angel \u2013 or perhaps that of a risen devil.\u00a0 With his sun-bronzed skin and high cheekbones he was sometimes thought to be part Cheyenne or Arapaho, considered by many to be the most beautiful of all the Indian peoples.<\/p>\n

But women looked into the depths of his smoldering, ever-changing eyes sheltered by black lashes of heavy silk and knew they had found the substance of their dreams.\u00a0 Enriched by women, gentled by their love and laughter, taught the secrets of pleasure, he matured into a complex, confident, highly capable human being.<\/p>\n

Ben was almost surprised when Adam returned home from college, delighted as he was to have his son beside him again.\u00a0 He might wander, but the majestic and demanding land was in his blood, and it would always draw him back. Taking on many of the administrative burdens of operating the ranch, he found time to design and supervise the building of the Ponderosa Ranch House \u2013 a showplace of quiet luxury and comfortable living in a time of ornate palaces.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s fires burned deep. He tended to let his intellect rule both his heart and his temper.\u00a0 He was slow to anger except in the presence of injustice, but once fully roused he could flare into dark and deadly action.\u00a0 A crack shot he had saved all their lives more than once.\u00a0 No stranger to injury almost to the point of death, Adam, when very tired, could be silent and somber.\u00a0 Ben protected him in these times from the jokes and jibes of his brothers.<\/p>\n

Pulled from his thoughts by Dan\u2019s quiet cough, Ben turned to answer his friend\u2019s question.\u00a0 \u201cNo, we didn\u2019t find him.\u00a0 In spite of your help and all we could do, the first news we had of Adam was when he came riding up one afternoon late in November.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had ridden in one cold, gray evening just before supper on a slab-sided gruella mustang looking as if he had been dragged through a knothole backwards. Joe, who had been warming his back at the fireplace, heard the soft thud of hooves outside and asked, \u201cThat\u2019s odd.\u00a0 I think somebody just rode up.\u00a0 Are we expecting company, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I know of, son.\u00a0 Take a look if you will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe walked to the window and froze.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u00a0 Pa!\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Ben and Hoss shouted in unison as they all bolted for the door. They fell on him like ravenous youngsters on a birthday cake hugging, patting, laughing, crying, questioning, demanding, overjoyed and angry at his long silence all at once. Staggered by his welcome, Adam made his way inside enclosed in a roiling ball of humanity. He had Joe tucked firmly against his side and his father\u2019s arm across his shoulders while Hoss half-carried them all.\u00a0 Even Hop Sing ran out to add his hugs and high-pitched chatter of Chinese to the uproar.<\/p>\n

When the jubilation had died down to a mild uproar, Adam was dragged to the dinner table and thrust into his accustomed place.\u00a0 He smiled broadly at the sight of the family table with its load of crisp linen, good china, crystal, silver and steaming dishes of delicious and familiar food.<\/p>\n

He tried gamely between hungry bites to respond to his brother\u2019s intertwining flow of constant questions and comments until Joe threw in a conversation stopper.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Hero, Adam?\u00a0 You were riding him when you left here.\u201d The 17 hand half-thoroughbred gelding had shown astonishing speed and stamina.<\/p>\n

Adam dropped his fork with a clang and said in a voice like a bronze bell rung in hell, \u201cDead.\u00a0 Dead along with half-a-dozen other mounts I rode to death or had shot out from under me.\u201d<\/p>\n

They all stared open-mouthed until Adam sighed and lifted an open palm in a sign of peace.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Joe,\u201d he said gently.\u00a0 \u201cI need to ask you all for a huge favor?\u201d\u00a0 A round of nods met his questioning glance.\u00a0 \u201cIt was a long, mean ride home, and I feel like I\u2019ve been in the saddle since the day before Columbus set sail. I\u2019d dearly like a reprieve on telling the whole, sorry story until I can catch up a little on my sleep and God knows how many missed meals.\u00a0 My mind is all shadows and smoke right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stared closely at his oldest son.\u00a0 Adam looked tired beyond words.\u00a0 His big frame was gaunt and battered and his usually glinting hazel eyes were dark and inward looking.\u00a0 Was that slight flush on his cheek excitement or a fever?<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u201d his father asked into the silence, \u201cwere you wounded?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa; not really.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean \u2018not really?\u2019\u00a0 Have you been in hospital somewhere all this time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir, truth.\u00a0 I was nominated once or twice but never elected.\u201d\u00a0 No need now to mention the long furrow gouged by a minie ball along his left side.\u00a0 The wound had oozed blood for hours until his first sergeant heated a cleaning rod in the fire and laid it in the cut.\u00a0 Time enough to explain when someone noticed the scar.<\/p>\n

Anxious as they were to learn where Adam had been and why he hadn\u2019t written for almost seven months, they agreed to his request.\u00a0 They would grant him a brief period of grace.<\/p>\n

Ben directed that Adam be allowed a complete rest before he resumed his normal responsibilities on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 He was to do only what he want to do for at least two weeks.<\/p>\n

Adam spent much of his first days home trying to rid himself of some taint that was invisible to his family.\u00a0 He kept the bathhouse steaming with vast tubs of boiling water and scrubbed himself with strong lye soap until he was almost raw.\u00a0 He even had Ben clip his hair close to the scalp.\u00a0 He directed Hop Sing to burn the tattered remnants of his uniform and reveled in his own comfortable, well-cut clothing kept fresh and aired in his wardrobe throughout his long absence.<\/p>\n

He went to bed early from choice and lazed in bed late at Ben\u2019s insistence.\u00a0 He was even served his breakfast on a tray the first few days.<\/p>\n

The abundant clear, cold water, sunshine and clean, dry, oxygen-rich air of the Ponderosa coupled with rest and his own native resilience quickly flushed the dysentery and errant fevers from Adam\u2019s system. Ridiculously cosseted by his family and with his appetite tempted by Hop Sing\u2019s wholesome, well-prepared food \u2013 all his favorite dishes appeared regularly \u2013 he regained his strength and energy and began to put on some much needed weight.\u00a0 Only his nights were troubled.\u00a0 Sleep came slowly and was broken by disturbing dreams.<\/p>\n

During his second week home, Adam rode out to the remuda with Little Joe to rebuild his string of work horses.\u00a0 With the faithful Sport happily turned out to pasture and Hero dead there wasn\u2019t much left.\u00a0 The buttermilk gray, Cloud, his intelligent, sure-footed night horse was there and seemed glad to see him.\u00a0 He selected a young, bright bay quarter horse with good Texas lines that could turn on a dime to be trained as a cutting horse.\u00a0 Adam was happy to add the big black, Blazer, a top-notch rope horse to his string.\u00a0 Blazer\u2019s original rider, old Rusty Williams, had retired to a town job.\u00a0 Joe added a couple of green-broke broncs he wanted Adam to work on, but a mount to replace Sport seemed to elude him.\u00a0 The ideal horse would combine strength, speed and endurance with intelligence and good disposition.\u00a0 A soft mouth wouldn\u2019t hurt either.<\/p>\n

About to give up for the day, Adam spotted a flash of color in a stand of trees and rode over to have a look. As he neared a magnificent Appaloosa stallion trotted out into the afternoon sunlight.\u00a0 His conformation was a horseman\u2019s dream.\u00a0 A gorgeous spotted blanket covered his whole rump and spread down his flanks.\u00a0 The rest of his coat was a dark, smoky gray that gleamed with blue highlights.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s whole face lit with delight.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamnation Joe, where did you get him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI talked Pa into buying him to improve some of our stock.\u00a0 His sire belonged to a Nez Perce chief and his dam was a pure blooded Arabian.\u201d\u00a0 Joe could read the longing in his brother\u2019s entire frame as he leaned urgently forward watching the horse trot around the pasture, and he was reluctant to disappoint him. Adam\u2019s eyes had sparkled with real enthusiasm far too seldom in the days since he had come home.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a beauty Adam, but it would be a crime to cut him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see any reason to do that.\u00a0 I can turn him out when the mares come in season, or you can bring them in to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, now,\u201d Joe said slowly.\u00a0 \u201cWhen did you turn into a stud horse man?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSince I began spendin\u2019 about twice as much time ahorse as I did asleep.\u00a0 You don\u2019t think I can ride him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I expect you can.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t mean, but he\u2019ll need some work, and riding a stud can create problems.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Joe, but I\u2019m willing to deal with \u2018em.\u00a0 I want him!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was wonderful to see Adam truly eager and smiling.\u00a0 If the stallion would help to ease the memories of the war that seemed to gnaw at him, then by God he\u2019d have him.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s yours,\u201d Joe said and shook out his rope.\u00a0 \u201cHis name\u2019s \u2018Whiskey.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

CHAPTER II\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *****\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 DARK HARVEST
\nOne night shortly before the two weeks were up, Adam told them part of his story.\u00a0 He knew it couldn\u2019t be delayed much longer, and he had mentally edited his account to cover the facts and omit the source of his worse nightmares.<\/p>\n

They had concluded an excellent dinner and settled around the fireplace on a blustery evening when Adam made the offer to recount his war experiences.\u00a0 It was accepted immediately.\u00a0 Adam leaned back in his favorite chair, took a substantial pull at the well-aged brandy he was holding and stretched his long, black clad legs toward the fire that burned sweet with the few sticks of applewood Ben had added.<\/p>\n

Adam looked up and met their eyes one by one and then offered them a smile of such mingled affection and sadness that Ben reached out to give his shoulder a comforting squeeze.\u00a0 Adam sighed and spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me begin by saying that there are no words adequate to tell you how glad I am to be home \u2013 to be sitting here in the house we built together with you all close about me.\u00a0 You have no idea what it means just to be clean and dry and warm, to have an abundance of food that isn\u2019t wet or wormy or half-rotten, to sleep in my own bed with my books within reach.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben understood the source of Adam\u2019s pleasure in these simple things; he had lived very rough in his years at sea.\u00a0 He doubted if Joe or Hoss could really appreciate what it meant to be without even the most basic comforts for long periods of time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I left my decision to join in the fighting until very late,\u201d Adam began.\u00a0 \u201cWe were all opposed to slavery, but state\u2019s rights were a different sort of question, and until we got word that cousin Julian had been killed at Spotsylvania, it was hard to believe it was all real.\u00a0 That news made it personal for me.\u00a0 I wish now, Pa, that I had taken your advice and contributed in other ways, but hindsight is always perfect.\u201d\u00a0 It was a very wry grin that crossed his features.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, as many good stories begin, \u2018little did I know\u2019 what I was getting into when I left the Ponderosa at the first of July.\u00a0 I traveled by train where I could and on horseback where I couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 I went from here to Salt Lake City, on to Denver, across Kansas to Kansas City and down to St. Louis.\u00a0 From there I got on to Nashville and Chattanooga and managed to pick my way into Atlanta just a couple of days after it fell on September 2, 1864.\u00a0 I was just in time to see Gen. Sherman order the evacuation of the city.\u00a0 Women, children, the sick and the elderly were turned out of their homes with winter coming on and escorted to Hood\u2019s lines to find food and shelter as best they could.\u00a0 Maybe I should have taken the hint and come home then.\u201d\u00a0 Adam fell silent for some moments.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn any case, when I presented myself at headquarters complete with saddle horse, pack animal and personal weapons, they seemed pleased to see me.\u00a0 A lot of the men and officers whose three year enlistment\u2019s were up had elected to return home, and they were short handed.\u00a0 I was commissioned as a junior lieutenant in Gen. Judson Kilpatrick\u2019s cavalry and assigned to Troop C under Capt. Morse.\u00a0 I was issued uniforms and equipment and told to bunk in a tent with the troop First Lieutenant, \u2018Boots\u2019 DeVane, a West Point man.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey had a lot of green remounts to get ready for action.\u00a0 I believe they intended to have some fun with a new man when they put me in charge of the troopers assigned to train them.\u00a0 I expect they were a mite disappointed.\u201d\u00a0 A flash of humor and a sly wink brightened Adam\u2019s face briefly.\u00a0 \u201cThe first morning they offered me a wall-eyed outlaw as a mount with the comment that \u2018he just needed a little polish.\u2019\u00a0 I had to ear the brute down to get on him.\u00a0 Luckily, I got my spurs hooked into the cinch and managed to ride him to a standstill.\u00a0 After that the men seemed willing to cooperate with me.\u00a0 We got the mounts smoothed out and steady under gunfire, and I didn\u2019t lose a man or a horse.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused and took another swallow of his brandy.<\/p>\n

\u201cPicked on the wrong vaquero there didn\u2019t they, Adam?\u201d Joe laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it caused \u2018Boots\u2019 to ask about my background and when word got around it went a little easier.\u00a0 I got a lot of laughs about my saber work, but I could shoot with their best marksmen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam went on to describe the month of preparation while Gen. Sherman urged Grant to approve his plan to \u2018make Georgia howl.\u2019\u00a0 He proposed to sweep through the center of the state from Atlanta to Savannah on the Atlantic with 60,000 men of all arms.\u00a0 The object was to create utter destruction of the state\u2019s railroads, businesses, homes, crops and people that would cripple their military resources beyond any further participation in the war.<\/p>\n

Sherman got his orders at last, and they moved out on Nov. 14th.\u00a0 The General sat his horse atop Bald Hill on the morning of the 15th and watched Atlanta burn in his wake.\u00a0 They rode into beautiful fall weather across a state ripe and fat with the harvest fruits, following instructions to \u201cforage liberally on the country.\u201d\u00a0 Foraging was supposedly restricted to authorized personnel called \u2018bummers.\u2019\u00a0 But despoilment had a place in Sherman\u2019s calculations just as it did in the hearts of his tough veterans.\u00a0 Soldiers were ordered not to enter dwellings or commit trespass, but devastation was to be ruthless where met by hostility.\u00a0 \u2018Hostility\u2019 had a liberal definition.<\/p>\n

The march was made in two columns with Gen. Slocum on the left feinting toward Augusta with his two divisions formed from what was left of the Army of the Cumberland.\u00a0 Gen. Howard with another two divisions proceeded on the right toward Macon screened on his right by Kilpatrick\u2019s 5,000 cavalrymen.\u00a0 On the second day out Howard\u2019s right wing veered southeast from Jonesboro to converge with Slocum\u2019s left wing on the state capitol at Milledgeville<\/p>\n

Kilpatrick\u2019s forces were left to keep up the feint down the Macon and Western railroad to just 20 miles short of Macon where they too swung left, crossed the Oconee River and moved out beyond Sandersville to screen the left of Solcum\u2019s column should an attack come from Virginia or the Carolinas.<\/p>\n

There was little resistance to the march beyond skirmishing with Joe Wheeler\u2019s 3,500 Southern cavalrymen and some mounted butternut militia.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s troop was involved in several of these hit and run engagements.\u00a0 Casualties were light, but tension was high.\u00a0 A well-entrenched unit of Howard\u2019s rear guard south of Griswoldville fought the only real battle of the Georgia campaign.\u00a0 A southern infantry column attacked three times uphill across open fields to be blown back each time by heavy volleys from the hilltop breastworks.\u00a0 When evening fell and the Confederates withdrew. the victors counted some 600 old men and young boys dead on the field before them.<\/p>\n

Adam found he was part of a contact squadron that rode constantly, probing for enemy resistance, scouting the route ahead of the main force, carrying dispatches and exchanging shots with distant Rebel horsemen.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs much as we ride here, I thought I was hardened to the saddle,\u201d Adam said ruefully, and his brothers nodded agreement.\u00a0 \u201cBut there were days when I was stuck to my clothes and even the saddle with fluid and blood from the blisters on my butt.\u201d\u00a0 His family groaned in unison.<\/p>\n

He went on to describe one of their missions.\u00a0 Kilpatrick, a tough, bandy-legged fighter whom Sherman described as \u201ca hell of a damn fool, but just the sort of man to command my cavalry on this expedition\u201d was ordered to take the lead and try his hand at effecting a break in the railroad installation at Millen where a branch line ran north to Augusta.\u00a0 Thundering into the sleepy village in force they swamped the minimal resistance, burned the railroad station and facilities, plundered the stores, terrified the locals and ripped up miles of track carrying out Sherman\u2019s orders to \u201clet it be more devilish than can be dreamed of\u201d to perfection.<\/p>\n

\u201cDestruction for the joy of it,\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was deep and bitter.\u00a0 \u201cMany of the troops had been fighting for two or three years.\u00a0 Southern forces had offered them some sharp rebukes along the way.\u00a0 They thought it was a great lark to wreak havoc on the homelands of the Confederacy.\u00a0 Sherman even slowed the rate of march so destruction could be more complete.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you do the most of, Adam?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cScouting,\u201d he replied.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d ride ahead with a small party to determine the lay of the land, check the depth and flow of streams the infantry would have to cross, look for bridges and roads, spot plantations to be stripped, select secure sites for bivouac, probe for the enemy and hopefully spring any ambushes before the full column blundered into them.\u00a0 I seemed to have a knack for it, and it wasn\u2019t bad duty.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen there was foraging.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s voice dropped an octave as he ripped at his own tender core with scathing sarcasm.\u00a0 \u201cThirty gallant warriors would ride into some isolated plantation occupied only by the wife of an absent Rebel soldier and maybe her children or old parents.\u00a0 We took all forage \u2013 corn, hay, and grain for our mounts.\u00a0 Cotton and tobacco were taken and sold abroad at fantastic prices to finance the war.\u00a0 Horses and mules were added to our remount.\u00a0 Cattle, swine and poultry became part of the Army\u2019s rations.\u00a0 Stored foods like sweet potatoes, hams, preserves and butter were all consumed by the foragers and the closest troops. The men probed flowerbeds for buried jewelry and silver.\u00a0 The slaves were set on the road after our columns and the dogs were shot.\u00a0 It was work for thieves and cutpurses \u2013 I loathed it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what did them poor women do, Adam \u2013 after you passed by I mean?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was concerned for the helpless as always.<\/p>\n

\u201cWent hungry, Hoss, they went hungry if they weren\u2019t burned out completely.\u00a0 They dug withered turnips and potatoes out of their fields, picked wild greens and berries, tried to shoot turkeys in the woods if they managed to hide an old muzzleloader from us.\u00a0 If there were children, I always tried to leave a few hens and a milk cow behind, but most foraging parties didn\u2019t bother.\u00a0 My men blamed the Southern women for urging their men to fight and thereby prolonging the war.\u00a0 It made them hard to control, but I\u2019d have shot a trooper out of hand rather than condone rape, and they knew it.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s tone was rough and hard.\u00a0 He came from a long line of sea captains, and what is bred in the bone comes out in the flesh.\u00a0 He could command.<\/p>\n

He let another deep swallow of brandy ease down his throat.\u00a0 \u201cLet me press on; there\u2019s a long way to go yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherman\u2019s columns closed on Savannah\u2019s outlying defenses on Dec. 9 and 10.\u00a0 Ft. McAllister fell after a fifteen-minute onslaught and Federal supply ships sailed into Ossabaw Sound unopposed with 600,000 rations and mail.<\/p>\n

Savannah\u2019s Confederate commander with barely 15,000 troops to Sherman\u2019s 60,000 crossed the Savannah River on planked over rice floats covering his retreat with heavy shelling. The city surrendered on Dec. 21st.\u00a0 Sherman spared the city and allowed markets to reopen and had firewood hauled in to warm Christmas hearths.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you remember John Geary who was mayor over in San Francisco some ten years ago?\u201d Adam asked his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son, I met him once or twice, why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHis division was assigned to garrison the city.\u00a0 He made a good job of it \u2013 well organized and humane.\u00a0 We had a fine Christmas.\u00a0 I received half a dozen letters from home.\u201d\u00a0 Adam smiled at them all.\u00a0 \u201cThere was plenty to eat.\u00a0 Lots of fresh oysters.\u00a0 We ate \u2018em on the half shell, fried and in oyster soup.\u00a0 Had a real feast with roast goose, ham, rice and raisins, sweet potatoes and blue crabs.\u00a0 We rested and refitted.\u00a0 I think I wrote you several letters from there.\u00a0 Did you receive them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt took a while, but four got through,\u201d Ben told him.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I seem to remember something from the newspapers where quite a few of the ex-slaves following the army were drowned at a stream crossing.\u00a0 Were you there?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shot from his chair as if it were spring loaded.\u00a0 \u201cEbenezer Creek!\u00a0 Oh God, you don\u2019t want to know!\u201d\u00a0 He paced wildly across the room and back.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t, Pa, I can\u2019t!\u201d\u00a0 The anguish in his voice was heart wrenching.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, my boy; it\u2019s all right,\u201d Ben said calmly.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to talk about anything you don\u2019t want to discuss.\u00a0 Come back and sit down.\u201d\u00a0 Ben refilled Adam\u2019s brandy glass and gestured him to his seat.\u00a0 Adam sank into the chair reluctantly and drank deeply from the crystal snifter.\u00a0 He sat hunched and miserable for the rest of the account spitting it out in long streams heavy with self-disgust and broken by brooding silences.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf Sherman made Georgia howl, he set out to make the Carolinas shriek in agony,\u201d he began.\u00a0 \u201cYou will recall that South Carolina was the first state to withdraw from the Union, a hot bed of secession and filled with wealthy, influential slave owners who would be ruined by emancipation.\u00a0 Our men and officers hated the state, its people and everything for which it stood.\u00a0 They saw themselves as crusaders for the Union destined to impart a wisdom that began with fear to the Carolinas.\u00a0 It\u2019s been called the \u2018Smoky March.\u2019\u00a0 Nothing could be more apt.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn our final briefing Gen. Kilpatrick suggested we stuff our saddlebags with matches and said, \u201cwhen travelers passing through South Carolina shall see chimney stacks without houses, and the country desolate, and shall ask, \u2018who did this?\u2019 some Yankee will answer \u2018Kilpatrick\u2019s Cavalry.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 We were under orders to signal our whereabouts on Solcum\u2019s left flank by setting things on fire along the way. Sherman said to \u2018make a smoke like Indians do on the plains.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherman\u2019s plan was to march north the 425 miles from Savannah to Goldsboro in two columns and to feint toward Augusta on the left and Charleston on the right and then swing inland to overwhelm the capitol of Columbia as he had done in Georgia.\u00a0 He would end up well positioned in Lee\u2019s rear to assist Gen. Grant in the final destruction of all major Confederate forces.<\/p>\n

The set out Feb. 1, 1865 in the dead of winter \u2013 the rainiest in living memory \u2013 into a land where they had nine major rivers, already overflowing their banks, to cross along with numerous creeks, bayous and swampy bogs.\u00a0 Much of the water was rimed with ice, and the mud was calf deep.\u00a0 Crops here had already been gathered, and cattle were few and scrubby.\u00a0 Kilpatrick\u2019s troopers led the way on the left.\u00a0 Their commander shouted to waiting infantry as they drummed across the pontoon bridge at Sister\u2019s Ferry,\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019ll be damned little for you infantrymen to destroy after I\u2019ve passed through that hell hole of secession.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slocum\u2019s column, accompanied by Kilpatrick\u2019s horsemen, had to cross the Coosawhatchie Swamp; three rain-swollen miles across belt buckle deep liquid muck and crackling skim ice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never been so cold or so wet in all my life,\u201d Adam told them.\u00a0 \u201cOur clothes rotted on our backs, our boots fell apart and the horses got thrush.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been caught in the mountains in Northerners that dumped six feet of snow and not been half so cold.\u00a0 I would have killed cheerfully for a pair of good winter moccasins, my beaver fur poncho and a couple of buffalo robes.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Boots\u2019 came down with a raging fever.\u00a0 I did all I could for him, but within a couple of days he couldn\u2019t lift his head let alone cling to a saddle.\u00a0 I had to turn him over to the sawbones and the ambulance wagons.\u00a0 I tried to keep track of him, but as the march strung out it became impossible.\u00a0 He was from a little town in Indiana.\u00a0 When I get up the nerve, I\u2019ll write his family and ask.\u00a0 I pray he made it. He was good to me; kept me on scout as much as he could.\u00a0 Capt. Morse had me breveted to his position.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherman\u2019s two columns merged after crossing the Edisto River and struck for Columbia.\u00a0 The town had swelled from 8,000 souls to 20,000 with refugees, money and supplies pouring in from the coastal cities to the \u2018safety\u2019 of an inland town. The streets were filled with bales of cotton that were to have been taken to open ground and burned before the Union forces could seize them.\u00a0 The cotton was abandoned in the rush to evacuate the city and a stiff wind blew it everywhere.<\/p>\n

Columbia\u2019s mayor surrendered the town when Sherman arrived on Feb. 17th. The first troops in took what they wanted, stripping liquor shops and gleefully accepting fine wines and brandies offered by newly freed slaves from the cellars of their former masters.\u00a0 Gen. Slocum was disturbed by the danger posed by the drunken brigade and tried to replace it, but the men were so scattered that it only resulted in two brigades hoorawing the town.<\/p>\n

By shortly after dark the town was burning in a dozen places from the red light district to Wade Hampton\u2019s fine mansion.\u00a0 Churches and the Ursuline convent were burnt with women and trapped cattle screaming.\u00a0 Sherman had promised the city\u2019s safety, and he turned out with his staff and officers to fight the flames, but it proved hopeless.\u00a0 Eighty-four of the city\u2019s one hundred and twenty-four blocks had burned completely by the time the wind died down the next morning.<\/p>\n

Two days later the columns moved out feinting right and left as usual but aiming for a fast march on Cheraw in route to Fayetteville and Goldsboro.\u00a0 Here things began to bog down as the driving rains continued.\u00a0 Howard\u2019s wing made it across the flooded Wateree River on Feb. 23, but only half of Slocum\u2019s division was across when the pontoon bridge collapsed and was swept away.\u00a0 The XIV Corps and Kilpatrick\u2019s Cavalry were left behind.\u00a0 Even the troops that got across safely were mired in thin red mud, slick as grease.\u00a0 They covered only 20 miles in four days.<\/p>\n

The sun came out on the afternoon of Feb. 26 and the river began to fall.\u00a0 The next day engineers improvised a bridge and got across followed by the cavalry.\u00a0 Meanwhile Union forces had overwhelmed the seaport of Wilmington and were moving inland to join Sherman in Goldsboro and resupply him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter we got across the Riveree,\u201d Adam said, \u201cwe slogged on making maybe ten or twelve miles a day but riding three or four times that far.\u00a0 It was still pouring rain and the wind was icy with mud up to the horses\u2019 hocks. After we crossed the Pee Dee River, we were in North Carolina and the orders changed.\u00a0 There were a lot Union sympathizers in the state, and Sherman wanted to keep them sweet. We posted guards to protect homes and shops and burning was prohibited.\u00a0 But the men were determined to keep making the Carolinas pay.\u00a0 They burned the pine forests all along the route of march.\u00a0 Those trees burned like huge torches.\u00a0 The sky was red with them at night and you couldn\u2019t breathe for the smoke everywhere.<\/p>\n

\u201cWheeler\u2019s Cavalry began to hit us hard.\u00a0 They were trying to slow the rate of our advance so the Rebel forces could gather.\u00a0 We exchanged a lot of shots with them in the half-light of sodden swamps, and casualties on both sides started to mount up.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stopped here and seemed to drift away for several minutes before he resumed.<\/p>\n

Sherman\u2019s forces took Charlottesville on March 3 and reached the major Confederate supply base of Fayetteville by mid-day on March 11.\u00a0 Here a steamer that came up the Cape Fear River bringing dispatches and mail from Wilmington met them.\u00a0 It was the first communications they had received in many weeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wrote then.\u00a0 I doubt if it made much sense.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t in very good shape.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was the last letter we received from you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll show it to you, son, when you\u2019re ready,\u201d Ben told Adam quietly.\u00a0 The letter was a barely coherent, deeply moving elegy of despair, and it had distressed them all greatly.<\/p>\n

By this time Sherman\u2019s army was in rags and many were barefooted.\u00a0 Resupply was desperately needed, and it was sixty miles away in Goldsboro.\u00a0 Old Joe Johnson\u2019s Confederate troops hit them twice on the way there.\u00a0 Slocum\u2019s column with the cavalry in support ran into entrenched positions on the Raleigh road on March 16th.\u00a0 It took three divisions to break through.\u00a0 Well-positioned Rebs who had a good plan, but lacked the strength to carry it off hit them again on the 19th two miles beyond Seven Pines.\u00a0 The result was some 1,500 Union casualties who filled the wagons and slowed the column even more in the mud and rain.<\/p>\n

They reached Goldsboro on the 22nd of March, fifty days out of Savannah.\u00a0 When joined by the troops from Wilmington they had almost 90,000 effectives.\u00a0 The \u2018bummers\u2019 were relieved of foraging duties and returned to their units.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I had some sort of pneumonia when we got to Goldsboro,\u201d Adam admitted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d been coughing my lungs out for days and was reeling in the saddle, but I\u2019d be damned if I was going to give myself up to the ambulance corps.\u00a0 Better to shoot yourself and be done with it.\u00a0 When we went into bivouac, my men dredged up a good tent and floored it with old crates.\u00a0 They found dry blankets somewhere and kept a fire going in an old iron cookpot.\u00a0 They boiled pine needles to help me breathe, made a god awful potion of mullein leaves for the cough, and stole chickens to make into broth that they forced down me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was out of my head for two or three days there, but Capt. Morse kept me with the troop.\u00a0 Eventually I sweated the worst of it out and started to come around.\u00a0 By the time I was back on my feet, Lee was surrendering to Grant at Appomattox.\u00a0 I fought my way through the paperwork and intimidated the idiots in charge of the quartermaster depot until I got boots and new uniforms for the troop \u2013 even got good wool coats, clean blankets and fresh tack for the horses.<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew the war was essentially over when Gen. Joe Johnson surrendered all the Confederate forces from the Potomac to the Rio Grande to Sherman on April 26th.\u00a0\u00a0 I resigned my commission a few days later and used some of the gold coin I still had with me to throw a big feed for my outfit.\u00a0 You could get anything for hard money \u2013 the whole place was afloat in worthless script.\u00a0 I even found eggs and real cream and brandy for a huge bowl of eggnog.\u00a0 When they were all full to bursting and happily asleep, I slipped away and never looked back.\u201d<\/p>\n

The fire was low, the hour was late and Adam was very hoarse as he stopped and looked at his stunned and saddened family.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDear hearts, that concludes my small part in the late, great conflict,\u201d he ended.\u00a0 \u201cNow, if you\u2019ll excuse me, it\u2019s almost midnight, and I\u2019m very tired.\u201d\u00a0 He arose with slow grace and turned toward the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait Adam!\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0 \u201cThat was the first of May, this is the end of November, where have you been?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned back, his eyes dark with pain, and said only, \u201cAnother night, brother, another night,\u201d and continued up to bed.<\/p>\n

When they heard his door close, Hoss spoke sadly.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s hurtin\u2019 bad, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe ought never to have let him go,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat should we have done, Joseph, locked him in the storeroom, tied him to his bed?\u201d Ben asked.\u00a0 \u201cYou know your brother; could we have held him against his will?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe found no answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam is a grown man; he\u2019s entitled to make his own decisions.\u00a0 That right implies living with the consequences of your choices.\u00a0 I tried to suggest to him that there were other ways to help the Union cause, but he was determined to see action.\u00a0 His mind was set.\u00a0 It seemed better that he go to war knowing that there was a home and family behind him where he was loved and wanted.\u00a0 It was certainly possible that he would never come home again \u2013 many thousands died.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want our last words to be angry ones.\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned away and looked into the fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa,\u201d Hoss asked, \u201ccan\u2019t we help him someways?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe has to work it out, Hoss.\u00a0 About all we can do is give him our patience and support.\u00a0 Time always helps, and work and friends.\u00a0 Interest his mind in new projects if you can.\u00a0 Encourage him to get out and renew old friendships.\u00a0 And boys, no matter how curious you are, don\u2019t try to pry open his memories with a crowbar; you\u2019re likely to strike a volcano.\u00a0 Let him know you\u2019re glad he\u2019s back. Listen if he wants to talk.\u00a0 There\u2019s little more anyone can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

CHAPTER III\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *****\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 COMING TO TERMS
\nAdam gradually resumed his accustomed duties in the great enterprise the Ponderosa had become.\u00a0 He began with the accounts and correspondence lifting a major burden from his father\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 He raised his eyes and looked ahead planning the work for the coming spring and summer.\u00a0 When the weather permitted, he rode the whole ranch refreshing and updating his knowledge of every building and fence, each tree and ledge.\u00a0 He chatted with old hands and made the acquaintance of new workers.<\/p>\n

He was quietly amused at how gently his brothers treated him.\u00a0 Their jibes and jokes lacked much of the old edge.\u00a0 He regained his normal weight, and his work with his new string of horses and other chores kept him fit and hard.\u00a0 He went into Virginia City occasionally and played a little poker with old friends.\u00a0 Only the nights were difficult.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s room was at the head of the upstairs hall, and Adam\u2019s stood next down the corridor.\u00a0 He tried hard not to disturb the others, and Hoss snored on obliviously, but Ben was often aware that Adam was not sleeping well.<\/p>\n

He would hear his son get up in the night and sit in his old rocker by the window gazing out into the starlit sky for hours.\u00a0 Other evenings he would tiptoe down stairs brew a cup of tea and sit before the dying embers in the huge fireplace his face drawn and distant.\u00a0 Ben let him alone at these times, but the nightmares were different.\u00a0 When Adam tossed, moaned and cried out, Ben would get up and wake him.\u00a0 He never wanted to say much.\u00a0 He would apologize for disturbing his father and urge him to return to bed.\u00a0 Ben didn\u2019t press him, but he knew Adam seldom went back to sleep.<\/p>\n

Things finally came to a head one evening late in February.\u00a0 Adam had caught a touch of the influenza that had felled half the men in the bunkhouse, but was stubbornly refusing to give in to it.\u00a0 Ben was concerned, knowing his son had suffered through a bout of pneumonia less that a year earlier.\u00a0 Adam retired early that night, but shortly after midnight, Ben heard him cough, moan and then cry out sharply.\u00a0 Jamming his feet into his slippers, Ben lit his lamp, pulled a warm robe around his shoulders and headed for Adam\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

He threw open the door and the lamplight fell across the bed where Adam lay tangled in the covers.\u00a0 His face was flushed and his hair fell heavily across his forehead as he tossed.\u00a0 For the first time his words were clearly audible.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 No!\u00a0 Fire and rain, and death.\u00a0 No!\u00a0 Somebody stop him.\u00a0 Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben gripped his son\u2019s shoulder firmly and shook it.\u00a0 \u201cAdam!\u00a0 Adam, wake up!\u00a0 You\u2019re home, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s only a dream.\u00a0 Wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat bolt upright, startled and dazed, but still lost in another reality.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a charge!\u00a0 Form on me!\u201d\u00a0 It was a clear command.<\/p>\n

Ben shook him again, hard.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, wake up!\u201d\u00a0 Adam slumped and murmured, \u201cIt\u2019s so cold, so cold.\u201d\u00a0 Ben felt his forehead.\u00a0 It was damp, but not unusually warm.\u00a0 He suspected that Adam\u2019s fever had just broken in a heavy sweat.\u00a0 Ben pulled a blanket around his son\u2019s shoulders and poured a glass of water.\u00a0 He held it to Adam\u2019s lips instructing, \u201cDrink, you need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam surfaced into the dim light and took the glass.\u00a0 \u201cPop?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cGo on, son, drink.\u201d\u00a0 Adam did as he was told.\u00a0 He finished the cool water and sank back against the pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did it again, didn\u2019t I?\u201d\u00a0 Ben nodded his agreement.\u00a0 \u201cThis is the second time this week I\u2019ve gotten you up.\u00a0 You must be about ready to have me committed somewhere so you can get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing disturbed doesn\u2019t bother me, Adam, but your state of mind does.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been home for some while now, but half the time you aren\u2019t really with us.\u00a0 We speak to you and you don\u2019t seem to hear \u2013 much less answer, and these dreams aren\u2019t getting any better.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen some fighting too in my life.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to help you, but I can\u2019t until you are ready to stop bottling it all up inside yourself, and let me share it with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam mulled over his father\u2019s words and reluctantly agreed.\u00a0 \u201cI thought I could work this out by myself, but it looks like I am going to need some help.\u00a0 Do you feel like talking tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss and Little Joe are still asleep.\u00a0 I assume you would rather talk privately?\u201d\u00a0 Adam bent his head in acknowledgement.\u00a0 \u201cFine, suppose I go down and stir up the fire and put on some coffee.\u00a0 Wrap up warmly before you come down, son.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need another dose of pneumonia.\u00a0 And just for the record, you are staying in for the next couple of days until that cough clears up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

A few minutes later they were seated before the renewed fire nursing mugs of coffee as much for the comforting warmth of the cup as for its contents.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to begin somewhere, Adam.\u00a0 You told us the official history of Gen. Sherman\u2019s march.\u00a0 What is it that you didn\u2019t tell us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith Sherman in Georgia and the Carolinas,\u201d he whispered then flung his head up with a sudden flare of violence.\u00a0 \u201cWith the Devil in Hell!\u00a0 A hell I was creating complete with fire and plague and violent death.\u00a0 We truly sowed the whirlwind and reaped destruction.\u00a0 There was no end to it \u2013 ever!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben gripped Adam\u2019s arm hard and spoke sharply.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, get a hold of yourself!\u00a0 This won\u2019t help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gradually Adam relaxed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa.\u00a0 It was like one long nightmare with no way out.\u00a0 I\u2019ll try to make some sense.\u201d\u00a0 Adam drew a deep, steadying breath and began.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I left the Ponderosa, I felt I had to give more than beef and timber and money for what I believed was right.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t wait to join up.\u00a0 I\u2019d been home ranching while everybody got into it but me.\u00a0 I was full of the glory of the cause and the nobility of the struggle for the Union.\u201d\u00a0 He paused, \u201cwhat a fool you must have thought me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, the Union was and is important, but I knew you had a brutal awakening coming as to the real nature of civil war.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I began to get an idea that first night when I saw the pall of flame and smoke hanging over Atlanta. The remnants of Atlanta\u2019s people were standing in the fields homeless and stripped to what they could carry.\u00a0 People no different from our friends and neighbors were turned out like cattle.\u00a0 I think I knew even then.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was put in command of a foraging party.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want the assignment, but the Colonel overrode Capt. Morse.\u00a0 He thought I was an ideal officer for the job.\u201d\u00a0 Adam mimicked a nasal New England accent.\u00a0 \u201cA Westerner \u2013 independent and self-reliant, used to living off the land.\u201d
\nHe dropped back to a mocking tone.\u00a0 \u201cAnd he was right.\u00a0 I was good at it.\u00a0 We brought in horses and cattle by the hundreds, wagonloads of cotton, tons of grain and meat and preserved foods.\u00a0 Every ounce of it we took out of the mouths of women and children while they pleaded with us to spare them something.\u00a0 We tore up railroads and burned military stores and anything else in our way until the route was marked with pillars of fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was even some fighting.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s face twisted.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes a few old men and some boys from a local military academy would decide to take us on.\u00a0 We were all experienced field troops.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a war \u2013 it was a massacre!<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce we moved into the Carolinas, Capt. Morse was able to pull me off foraging, thank God!\u00a0 The Colonel had lost interest by that time. I went on scout like I told Joe.\u00a0 At least it was honorable duty, but you never knew what was around the next bend in the road.\u201d\u00a0 Adam rubbed at the scar along his ribs.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moving into the most painful part of his account, Adam began slowly in a level tone but was swept into the violence of the action as he went along.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOne evening about dusk in a swamp we were hit by a company of Wade Hampton\u2019s Cavalry.\u00a0 Canister shot from the artillery took out almost the whole first wave, but there was one boy who just kept riding on \u2013 he was almost blown in half \u2013 his guts trailing, but he kept coming, yelling like a banshee!\u00a0 I shot him in the head at about 10 yards.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stopped and then said brokenly, \u201cHe looked so much like Joe, Pa.\u00a0 I threw up all night, and that fool sergeant kept asking me why!<\/p>\n

\u201cThe cold and the rain and the mud soaked into your bones, eroded your soul, destroyed your will and still we went on.\u00a0 Finally there was Goldsboro and the surrender.\u00a0 It was over at last, but I don\u2019t think it will ever be over for me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam covered his eyes with his hand and pressed hard on his temples.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart overflowed with compassion.\u00a0 Adam was the last person in the world equipped to deal with such massive injustice.\u00a0 He was just opening his mouth to speak when Adam rushed on determined to have it all out at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to know why I didn\u2019t write, Pa?\u00a0 I was afraid to.\u00a0 I was afraid that if I put it all down on paper, it would make it too real to endure.\u00a0 Can you understand that?\u201d\u00a0 Adam was none too sure he really understood it himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, son. I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a sudden, self-accusative urge Adam continued.\u00a0 \u201cAnd would you like to know where I was from May until November \u2013 why I didn\u2019t come straight home?\u00a0 You might as well hear it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought that was why we came down here,\u201d Ben told him calmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter I resigned my commission, I rode back through that country.\u201d\u00a0 Adam empathetic involvement with these shorn, defeated people was agonizingly apparent.\u00a0 \u201cI wanted to help \u2013 to do something, anything to make up for some of the suffering I\u2019d caused.\u00a0 There were women pulling plows, sensitive, cultivated women who a year before had wealth and servants.\u00a0\u00a0 Their children stumbled through the broken ground behind them planting what little grain they had left.\u201d\u00a0 Adam lifted his eyebrows to ask sardonically, \u201cDo you think they would have my help?\u00a0 They\u2019d have starved at my feet before they\u2019d have taken anything from a damn Yankee lieutenant.\u00a0 I was lucky to get out alive.\u201d\u00a0 He gave a snort of dry, humorless laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was nothing more I could do, so I started home.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hesitated.\u00a0 He was still uncertain about sharing this last humiliating incident with his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, son,\u201d Ben said very gently.<\/p>\n

Adam plunged in quickly.\u00a0 \u201cI stopped one night in Durango and took a drink to see if it would help me sleep without dreaming.\u00a0 As near as I can figure out, it was about a month later when I sobered up.\u00a0 I was completely broke, sick, dirty and utterly disgusted with myself.\u201d\u00a0 The self-contempt in his voice was painful to hear.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a big rancher there, Pa \u2013 a lot like you in some ways.\u00a0 He\u2019d lost a son in the war, and when he saw the mess I\u2019d gotten myself into, he paid my bills and took me home with him.\u00a0 After I\u2019d dried out a bit, I went to work breaking horses for him until I could pay him back and earn the price of a fare home.\u00a0 So here I am.\u00a0 Not very much for you to be proud of I\u2019m afraid.\u201d\u00a0 Adam let his head fall into his hands unwilling to meet his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve never done anything to make me ashamed of you, Adam,\u201d Ben spoke evenly and gently.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you\u2019re not the only man who ever went on a drunk after fighting a war.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you wire for money?\u00a0 You know I would have sent you anything you needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa, I know.\u00a0 Guess I was just too ashamed and embarrassed.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s all out now, Adam thought, no more hiding.\u00a0 Pa knows the worst.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, there it is, sir.\u00a0 What can you, or anybody, say that will blot out the flames, and the faces of hungry children, and the bodies in the swamps?\u00a0 Adam pressed his fingers into his red-rimmed eyes to blur the burning pictures of memory.<\/p>\n

Ben thought carefully.\u00a0 He had to try to answer Adam, to help him someway, and it is never easy to explain suffering.\u00a0 If he could make his son understand some of the reasons for his mental anguish, perhaps he could free himself from it eventually.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, we both know you had to grow-up too fast.\u00a0 You understand why that had to be, but you had too much responsibility too soon.\u00a0 I demanded more of you than any youngster should be asked to give.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s true son; neither of us can deny it.\u00a0 When I could send you east to college, you were a little older than the other students and some of the ideals of glory and honor and chivalry you were taught took a little harder.\u00a0 You still had them when you went to war.\u00a0 You have matured, and you know how empty glory is and how terrible it can be when a country fights within itself.\u00a0 But a man should know that there\u2019s a time to remember and a time to forget \u2013 and you have got to begin to forget some of the awful details of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam watched his father closely hoping, just barely, that there was a road out of the wilderness.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were in very poor shape when you got home, son \u2013 gaunt and battered and ill.\u00a0 The whole time you were in the Cavalry you were probably up before dawn and in the saddle ten and twelve hours a day.\u00a0 You spent half the night making out reports and planning the next day\u2019s raids.\u00a0 There were days on end when you never had your clothes off or even saw a bed or a hot meal.\u00a0 You were constantly cold and wet in fever-ridden swamps.\u00a0 You\u2019re young and strong, but nobody is that strong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam listened intently fully aware of the truth of what Ben was telling him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you used up the last of your physical reserves, it also broke down the mental barriers we all have to build up from childhood to protect ourselves from the raw shock of the cruelty and injustice in the world.\u00a0 Your mind absorbed all the awful things you saw and were involved in, and now it\u2019s slowly poisoning you.\u00a0 But you have to remember that there was a purpose.<\/p>\n

\u201cSherman himself said that no one could qualify war in harsher terms than he would, but that he fought it only to reach peace through union.\u00a0 That campaign broke the back of the Confederacy, Adam, and shortened the war by perhaps a year or more.\u00a0 Basically it saved many lives.\u00a0 It was terrible, and it\u2019s left a heritage of hate and mistrust that will hang on for generations to come, but it was necessary so that we can stand united again as one country.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben drew a deep breath conscious of Adam intense gaze on him as he reached out to press his son\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou have to make the effort to turn away from the past now and begin to live again for today and for the future \u2013 just as the whole country must do.\u00a0 If you can do that, then time will blunt the razor edges of memory. Will you try, my boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to do something, Pa. I don\u2019t want to go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cFine!\u00a0 That\u2019s all I wanted to hear.\u00a0 Now, how about getting some sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam chuckled dryly.\u00a0 \u201cI expect you could use it after this session.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben put his arm about Adam\u2019s shoulders as they started back up the stairs.<\/p>\n

The sun stayed longer now, driving back the dark of mid-winter. Days were warmer, and the heavy work of spring was beginning.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had been out all day with a crew clearing scrub brush that had grown up around a valuable stand of timber.\u00a0 It was necessary to have a broad firebreak around the trees in case a lightening strike started a grass fire.\u00a0 Both Hoss and Adam had worked alongside the men, as was their custom.\u00a0 No Cartwright lounged in comfort while the paid help worked.\u00a0 It was one of the many reasons Ponderosa hands were loyal sometimes even to death.<\/p>\n

The job was finished by mid-afternoon and they were all hot, tired and filthy.\u00a0 Adam sent the hands back to the bunkhouse to clean up before supper, and turned to Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cCan you stand to ride over to the south meadow with me and have a look at the herd there before we head home?\u00a0 I want to see if they have enough feed to hold them for another week before we have to move them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grunted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m mighty hungry, Adam, but I reckon I can stand it if you can.\u00a0 Come on \u2013 sooner started, quicker done.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss headed for the patient Chubb tied with Whiskey under a nearby tree.<\/p>\n

They found the herd near a favorite water hole.\u00a0 They were gaining weight after the winter and looked peaceful.\u00a0 Grass was still plentiful.\u00a0 They were about to turn away when Adam spotted an animal down in the long grass and rode toward him.\u00a0 Hoss followed.\u00a0 The steer tried to lunge to his feet, but crashed back as a hind leg collapsed with shattered bone exposed through torn flesh.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn,\u201d Adam muttered.\u00a0 \u201cHate to see that.\u00a0 Wonder how he broke it?\u201d
\n\u201cCan\u2019t tell now, brother, but you\u2019ll have to shoot him.\u00a0 Can\u2019t leave him to suffer until the buzzards get at him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stepped down and drew his carbine from its saddle sheath taking careful aim.\u00a0 After a minute he lowered the rifle, took a deep breath and re-aimed.\u00a0 He held until the rifle began to shake and then let his arm drop.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do it, Hoss.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDang Adam!\u00a0 I don\u2019t like it none either, but somebody\u2019s gotta do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss, you don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 I literally can\u2019t pull the trigger.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s head sank, and Hoss could see his long body quiver.<\/p>\n

Taking the rifle from his brother\u2019s unresisting hand, Hoss returned it to the saddle boot and guided Adam to the shade of a gnarled oak with a gentle pressure on his elbow.\u00a0 \u201cSet, Adam and rest a minute.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam slid down supporting his back against the tree\u2019s rough bole and drew his knees up to his chest as his brother walked away. Struck with a sudden, blinding headache, he cradled his head in his hands.\u00a0 A single shot rang out, and he flinched.\u00a0 In a few minutes he felt Hoss settle close beside him.\u00a0 His brother was big, and Adam leaned wearily against him, comforted by Hoss\u2019s solid bulk.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Hoss; my head.\u201d\u00a0 Adam massaged his pounding temples gingerly.\u00a0 Hoss put his arm around Adam and pulled him closer.<\/p>\n

\u201cRest on me, Adam.\u00a0 Your head aches?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike they were driving a railroad through it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat can happen when you don\u2019t sleep nights and work like a crazy man all day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam simply grunted an acknowledgement and moved closer letting his head rest on Hoss\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I ain\u2019t sure how you do it, but I know you\u2019ve poured your own strength into me when I needed it.\u00a0 Seems like it\u2019s time for some payback.\u00a0 You go ahead and take all you need.\u00a0 I got plenty for both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed and continued to rest enclosed in the safety of Hoss\u2019s strength, soothed by his unconditional love and acceptance.\u00a0 As Hoss watched, Adam\u2019s tense features gradually relaxed into the unguarded innocence of sleep.\u00a0 His tough, no-nonsense elder brother looked remarkably fragile.\u00a0 The war hurt Adam more than he\u2019s let on to any of us, Hoss thought and held him a little closer. Half an hour passed in silence.\u00a0 Hoss ignored the ache in his arm, reluctant to wake his brother from his much-needed rest.\u00a0 Presently Adam said quietly, \u201cIt\u2019s better now,\u201d and sat up.\u00a0 He did seem stronger.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, look at me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head and stared fixedly at the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook here at me, Adam.\u00a0 It\u2019s important!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Hoss asking.\u00a0 Adam reluctantly met his gaze, unwilling to hurt this brother who gave him so much.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething bad wrong here partner.\u00a0 Talk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh Hoss, you don\u2019t want to know.\u00a0 I thanked God at the end of each terrible day that you weren\u2019t with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m beginning to think I should have been.\u00a0 Something is eating you alive.\u00a0 You think I don\u2019t hear you walk the floor at night?\u00a0 Adam, all our lives you went first, sorta takin\u2019 a lot of the rough edges off of life for when me and Little Joe come along.\u00a0 Lots of times you done it by sanding \u2018em down with your own hide.\u00a0 You stood up to Pa for us \u2013 even took lickings for things we done.\u00a0 You looked after us when Pa had to be away, and thick as our heads are, you even pounded in some learnin\u2019.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t never reached out a hand for help that you didn\u2019t give me both of yours.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t it my turn yet, Adam?\u201d\u00a0 He sounded like a child pleading for his turn with a much-loved toy. \u201cDump some of your grief on me.\u00a0 Maybe it will help lift it off your shoulders.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make me do this, Hoss,\u201d Adam pleaded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re my brother.\u00a0 I remember you once said to me \u2018a brother\u2019s back is never bare.\u2019\u00a0 Well, let me give you a little shelter.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember when our Mama died, and we didn\u2019t know if we\u2019d survive the winter.\u00a0 But I do remember having you to hang on to ever since I was knee high to a cricket.\u00a0 I reckon I was a terribl\u2019 pest, but you never let me down. Let me help now.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s voice rang with sincerity.<\/p>\n

Adam reached for his brother\u2019s arm and squeezed so hard the big man winced.\u00a0 A drop of moisture glinted in Adam\u2019s thick, dark lashes.\u00a0 \u201cOur Mama, thank you Hoss.\u00a0 Thank you for sharing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell shucks, Adam.\u00a0 I thought you knew that.\u00a0 She was the only Mama you ever knew as a little nipper.\u00a0 Course she\u2019s our Mama.\u00a0 Now tell me why you couldn\u2019t shoot that poor hurt steer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose Pa told you about me shooting that kid in the swamp \u2013 the one that looked so like Little Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss nodded his agreement.\u00a0 \u201cTold you not to mention it to me too?\u201d\u00a0 Again Hoss bobbed his head.\u00a0 \u201cLike I said, I can\u2019t pull a trigger.\u00a0 It\u2019s been this way ever since that day in the swamp.\u00a0 I don\u2019t seem to be able to kill anything \u2013 no matter what.\u00a0 At the last I was ordering my men to fire when I couldn\u2019t have shot if the devil himself were riding down my throat.\u00a0 You probably think I\u2019m completely crazy, and I\u2019m not real sure that I don\u2019t agree with you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam tried to make it sound light, but didn\u2019t quite succeed.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t talk about yourself like that, Adam,\u201d Hoss said seriously.\u00a0 \u201cI can understand.\u00a0 Life is something that\u2019s mighty precious to men and animals alike, and you saw it poured out on the ground like water.\u00a0 It just scares me that you might not be safe.\u00a0 Suppose you meet up with a grizzly or some dang outlaw.\u00a0 What\u2019ll you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRun like hell I guess, Hoss.\u00a0 Run like hell.\u00a0 Listen, can you do something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to get away for a few days so I can think this through, maybe get my head on straight.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to pick up a packhorse and supplies and go up to the lake for a while.\u00a0 I\u2019ll camp out.\u00a0 Let the peace of the mountains soak in; try to get some sleep.\u00a0 Can you explain it to Pa when he gets back from Reno?\u00a0 You know what has to be done.\u00a0 I think you can manage without me for the rest of the week, yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShore, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell Pa, and don\u2019t you worry none, the work will get done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood and moved to where Whiskey stood ground hitched.\u00a0 He started to mount and then turned back.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s an honor to call you brother.\u201d\u00a0 He swung easily into the saddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake care of yourself now,\u201d Hoss called after him.\u00a0 Adam raised his hand and lifted the big appaloosa into a gallop.<\/p>\n

CHAPTER IV\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *****\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 REBEL\u2019S REVENGE
\nLittle Joe stood with his foot on the bar at the Bucket of Blood having a beer and some laughs with a group of friends.\u00a0 It was mid-afternoon, and he should have been on his way back to the Ponderosa with the mail in his saddlebags and the banking done, but Joe always managed to squeeze in a few minutes of fooling around on these trips.\u00a0 Ben turned a blind eye to these delays, so Adam and Hoss tolerated them.\u00a0 A boy was entitled to have some fun as long as he got home before dark.<\/p>\n

Recounting a recent incident on the ranch, Joe held the interest of his audience.\u00a0 \u201cSo when Hoss dropped the log, it hit the other end of that board old Pete was standing on and flipped him top over teakettle about eight feet away into the horse trough!\u201d\u00a0 There were loud guffaws and some friendly slaps on the back with pleas of \u201cTell us another one, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Just as he was opening his mouth to speak the saloon door swung to with a loud slap, and they all swung around to look at the newcomer.<\/p>\n

The man in the doorway was a stranger to Virginia City.\u00a0 He was about Adam\u2019s age with handsome features and an erect carriage topped by a heavy shock of sandy hair in much need of a trim.\u00a0 His clothes had once been good, but were now worn and dusty.\u00a0 He might be down on his luck, but he appeared capable of dealing with any trouble that might come his way.\u00a0 A big Navy Colt looked perfectly at home on his hip in its smooth, tied-down rig.\u00a0 Conscious of the many eyes fixed on him the stranger strolled nonchalantly to the bar, tipped his flamboyant hat with its curled feather in the band and said in and honeyed drawl, \u201cGood day to you gentlemen.\u201d\u00a0 Turning to the bartender he ordered a drink.\u00a0 \u201cBourbon if you please, good sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

He put down a coin, and the drink was poured.\u00a0 He picked it up, turned with it in his hand and leaned his back against the bar with one heel hooked over the rail.\u00a0 As he surveyed the room with a neutral gaze, Joe decided to speak. \u201cNo offense, mister, but aren\u2019t you new in town?\u201d<\/p>\n

The stranger replied pleasantly his gray-green eyes bright as he looked at the cocky youngster.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I am.\u00a0 You might say I\u2019m here on business.\u00a0 Allow me to introduce myself.\u00a0 I\u2019m Beauregard Wesley Langhorn, the third.\u00a0 My friends call me \u2018Beau.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can see why.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s friends slowly drifted away as conversation between the two men progressed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMay I assume, sir, that you are well acquainted locally?\u201d Beau asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh? Oh \u2013 ah, yeah.\u00a0 Guess I know must folks hereabouts. You looking for somebody special?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I am.\u00a0 A former Lieutenant in the Union Cavalry named Adam Cartwright.\u00a0 Would you happen to know him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Something in Beau\u2019s voice and expression roused sudden suspicions in Joe, and he decided to stall.\u00a0 \u201cAh \u2013 seems to me I\u2019ve heard the name.\u00a0 Why are you looking for him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI intend to kill him.\u201d\u00a0 The shocking reply was stated calmly and coldly.<\/p>\n

\u201cKill him!\u201d Joe was stunned by this sudden murderous declaration.\u00a0 \u201cDo you always just walk into bars and announce you\u2019re going to kill somebody, mister?\u00a0 Murder is against the law!\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau flushed with anger as he snarled.\u00a0 \u201cSo is what Cartwright did to my sister and my home!\u00a0 Against all the laws of human decency!\u00a0\u00a0 He led in one of Sherman\u2019s foraging parties to Three Oaks when Anne was there alone except for one old slave too crippled to run.\u00a0 He burnt the place to the ground, and then attacked and killed my sister.\u201d\u00a0 His voice dropped. \u201cShe was only nineteen.\u201d\u00a0 After a pause he said forcefully, \u201cYes, I\u2019m going to kill him \u2013 and the devil take the law!\u00a0 All I want from you is where I can find this bastard!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was so surprised that he almost betrayed his brother.\u00a0 \u201cGood Lord!\u00a0 Adam never did anything like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau pounced.\u00a0 \u201cThen you do know him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, sorta.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t know where he is just now,\u201d he added quickly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have to check around and see what I can find out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you try to locate him and arrange a meeting for me?\u201d\u00a0 Beau was calmer, but still eager.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you can kill him, right?\u201d\u00a0 Joe knew he had to keep control of the situation somehow.\u00a0 It was vital to exclude anyone else who might know either Adam or himself from the mix.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, honor demands it. Will you help me Mister \u2026,\u201d he trailed off.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, ah \u2013 Joe Little. I\u2019ll have to see what I can work out.\u00a0 Listen; leave this entirely up to me.\u00a0 Don\u2019t talk to anybody else about it.\u00a0 The Cartwrights are pretty well liked in this town, and you might get into big trouble.\u00a0 Just sit tight until I contact you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m very grateful for your help, Mr. Little.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh? Oh yes, sure, sure.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be seeing you soon.\u201d\u00a0 Joe slammed his hat on his head and rushed out of the saloon.<\/p>\n

Adam had indulged himself with the luxury of a good camp.\u00a0 On the level top of a small knoll overlooking Lake Tahoe, he had pitched a dry, roomy tent and built a stone firepit covered with a heavy wire mesh.\u00a0 A small fire burned merrily in the pit and a coffeepot simmered at its edge adding an enticing fragrance to the pine scented air.\u00a0 He had also erected a small brush arbor and under it built a thick bed of springy fir tips covered with a soft tanned buffalo robe.\u00a0 He was stretched out lazily there with one arm under his head and his eyes fixed on the lake as his mind picking at the sore places in his memory.\u00a0 Roused by a sudden whinny from Whiskey picketed with the packhorse in a nearby meadow, he sat up just as Joe thundered into camp.\u00a0 He was barely in time to catch his gunbelt when Joe heaved it at him.<\/p>\n

Joe began to rattle at high speed even before he dismounted.\u00a0 \u201cAdam!\u00a0 Quick!\u00a0 There\u2019s a man in town \u2013 some Rebel \u2013 swears he\u2019s gonna kill you.\u00a0 I brought your gun; you forgot it.\u00a0 Come on!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get back before he finds out who I really am.\u00a0 You better be ready to shoot on sight!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa Joe. Hold on a minute; take a deep breath.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to shoot anybody. What\u2019s this all about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe rushed ahead.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s this man in town, a Southerner, what\u2019s his name?\u00a0 Ah \u2013 Beau, Beauregard Langhorne from some place in South Carolina.\u00a0 Three Oaks I think he called it.\u00a0 He claims you burnt his plantation and raped and killed his sister.\u00a0 He\u2019s followed you clear out here to get you for it.\u00a0 Come on Adam!\u00a0 You can\u2019t let that lunatic run around town saying things like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pointed negligently at the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cHave some coffee, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 He stood looking through his brother for a minute and then spoke reflectively.\u00a0 \u201cLanghorne, Langhorne and Three Oaks.\u00a0 You know Joe; I probably did burn his home \u2013 though not on purpose.\u00a0 But his sister \u2013 I gave her food and a pass.\u00a0 Good Lord!\u00a0 Do you suppose that sergeant\u2026?\u00a0 Joe, I\u2019ve got to see this man, talk to him.\u00a0 Can you arrange it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe realized at this point there was to be talk rather than immediate action.\u00a0 He moved to the fire and filled a cup with coffee and squatted down to look closely at his older brother.\u00a0 Adam sank down bonelessly into a cross-legged seat on his buffalo robe absently putting his gun aside.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you want to talk to this Reb, you are as crazy as he is.\u00a0 All I\u2019d be arranging would be your sudden demise if you take him on without a gun, and somehow I don\u2019t think Pa\u2019d be too pleased with me.\u00a0 Adam, use your head!\u00a0 What\u2019s the matter with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe you have no idea how important this is to me.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you see that I\u2019ve done enough killing and destroying to sicken me for a lifetime!\u00a0 This is my chance to help somebody, to make up for some of the harm I\u2019ve caused.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to see Langhorne \u2013 hear his story.\u00a0 Maybe together we can find McKeon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoever the dickens that is.\u00a0 I think you\u2019re out of your mind, but I know I haven\u2019t much chance of getting you to change it when you\u2019re like this.\u201d\u00a0 Joe gave up in resigned disgust.\u00a0 \u201cIf it\u2019s what you really want, I\u2019ll go back to town and set up a meeting with Langhorne at that old deserted nester\u2019s cabin below Twin Forks tomorrow morning early.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat will do fine, Joe, thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe hesitated and then combined one final plea with something that has bothered him for a long time.\u00a0 \u201cLook, big brother, I know we had our differences before you joined up, but I was almighty glad to see you ride back still all in one piece.\u00a0 Particularly after spendin\u2019 nearly half a year wondering if you were somewhere hurt, alone and three thousand miles from home.\u00a0 And remembering that the last words I gave you were awful bitter ones.\u201d\u00a0 Joe uttered a dry laugh that was more a croak.\u00a0 \u201cI ought to know.\u00a0 Guess I ate \u2018em all about a thousand times.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam held up his hand.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have to apologize, Joe.\u00a0 I knew at the time that you didn\u2019t mean what you said about never coming home again.\u00a0 Your temper\u2019s like a flash fire \u2013 blazing hot while it lasts, but soon over leaving nothing but ashes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe groaned.\u00a0 \u201cNever again, Adam.\u00a0 Never again between us.\u00a0 You\u2019re home safe now.\u00a0 Let\u2019s keep it that way if we can.\u00a0 Please be there tomorrow wearing your gun,\u201d he pleaded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be there, without the gun, but thanks, Joe, thanks a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks?\u00a0 For what, helping you commit suicide?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, for caring whether I do or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe lifted his hands in not quiet mock despair and glanced heavenward for some explanation of human behavior.\u00a0 He looked back at Adam with both affection and irritation mingled in his expression and started to speak again.\u00a0 Thinking better of it he caught up Cochise\u2019s reins and mounted.\u00a0 He looked again at Adam and lifted a hand in farewell.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the morning then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded his understanding and watch Joe ride dejectedly away.\u00a0 After a few minutes he picked up his gunbelt and slowly unrolled it.\u00a0 He slid the big pistol from its holster and turned it in his hands.\u00a0 Presently he returned it and carefully rewrapped the familiar rig setting in aside once again.\u00a0 He stretched out and gazed quietly into the sapphire blue of the lake.<\/p>\n

It was just after dawn when Joe and Beau rode out of a wooded trail and drew rein before a tumbledown cabin.\u00a0 Beau stepped down and drew his Colt to examine it.\u00a0 Satisfied he returned it to his holster.\u00a0 Pacing a few steps back and forth he asked suddenly, \u201cYou\u2019re sure he agreed to meet me here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m positive,\u201d Joe replied, \u201cbut there\u2019s just one thing first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe drew his own weapon and leveled it at Beau.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s have that hogleg. I can\u2019t let you shoot my brother, particularly when the crazy fool is riding in unarmed.\u00a0 Come on! I mean it!\u201d\u00a0 Joe gestured sharply and Beau reluctantly handed over his pistol snarling as he did so.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother!\u00a0 Then you\u2019re a Cartwright too.\u00a0 You tricked me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfraid so, but it was in a good cause.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t do the things you claim \u2013 he couldn\u2019t \u2013 but I think he has an idea who did.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Beau glared at Joe, Adam rode quietly into the cabin clearing.\u00a0 Whiskey snorted, and they both swung to look at the tall, dark man sitting his horse so calmly before them. Beau immediately focused his whole attention on Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you Lt. Adam Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was.\u00a0 I resigned my commission over six months ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre these yours?\u201d\u00a0 Beau snatched a pair of standard cavalry issue saddlebags from his saddle and heaved them at Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam caught the bags and examined them with interest.\u00a0 They were clearly stamped \u2018Lt. A. Cartwright, U.S. Army.\u2019\u00a0 \u201cYes, they were.\u00a0 Where did you get them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom beside the body of my dead sister after you\u2019d attacked and murdered her.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was like a lash.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019d be dead now if your brother hadn\u2019t tricked me and taken my gun!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Langhorne, I didn\u2019t touch your sister.\u00a0 In fact I tried to help her.\u00a0 I think I can convince you of that if you\u2019ll listen to me for a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no explaining what you did!\u00a0 All I want is a gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned to Joe and said quietly, \u201cGive Mr. Langhorne his weapon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, are you plumb loco? He\u2019ll kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau watched this side play between the brothers with interest.\u00a0 The smallest shadow of doubt began to creep into his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, the gun.\u00a0 This is between Langhorne and myself.\u00a0 Put it down and ride out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do that, Adam\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will!\u201d\u00a0 It was his command voice.\u00a0 From babyhood Joe had known that when Adam spoke in this tone it was deadly serious. He tossed the gun onto the ground near Langhorne\u2019s feet, pulled Cochise around and rode slowly into the trees.<\/p>\n

Beau snatched up his gun and leveled it at Adam.\u00a0 The big rancher sat perfectly still on his horse looking squarely at Beau.\u00a0 It was so silent you could hear the breeze sighing through the pines.\u00a0 After an eternity Beau broke the stare and slammed his gun into its empty holster.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t shoot an unarmed man!\u00a0 I saw all the slaughter I could stand in the war, and somehow, Cartwright, I believe you.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t look like the sort who could do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Within the screen of trees, Joe lowered his carbine, slipped it into the boot and kneed his horse silently away.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you come here to face me without a gun?\u201d Beau asked.\u00a0 \u201cYour brother must have told you what I intended.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam swung down and walked a few steps closer to the distraught Southerner.\u00a0 \u201cFor the same reason that you couldn\u2019t shoot me just now.\u00a0 We fought on opposite sides in the war, but we\u2019re both glutted with killing. The war\u2019s over, and we need desperately to find a new basis for living.\u00a0 You\u2019ve lost everything you cared about, and in a way, I\u2019m partially responsible for it.\u00a0 Maybe together we can find the answer, and succeed in giving our own lives some meaning again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother said something about you knowing who killed Anne.\u00a0 Do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I only have an idea.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gestured toward a large log lying in the clearing, and they moved to sit down there.<\/p>\n

\u201cSuppose you tell me what you know first,\u201d Adam suggested, \u201cand how you came to be looking for me.\u00a0 Then I\u2019ll try to explain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau hesitated still unsure of Adam but aware of the aura of decency and sympathy that surrounded him.\u00a0 Deciding to trust his gut feeling, Beau launched into his story.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was wounded at Spotsylvania, and after about nine months in the hospital was released as unfit for further service.\u00a0 I made my way home dodging Sherman\u2019s patrols at every turn and finally got there the afternoon of the day after your foraging party had gone through.\u00a0 There was nothing left\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau looked inward and saw himself standing outside the great stone pillars with \u2018Three Oaks\u2019 deeply cut into the rock.\u00a0 He was thin and exhausted, dressed in the rags of his Confederate officers\u2019 uniform and hobbling on a half-healed leg.\u00a0 He looked down the tree-lined entrance road to the smoldering ruin of the great plantation house.\u00a0 Little beyond the stone chimneys and fire darkened earth remained.\u00a0 Beyond the house one shanty still stood.\u00a0 He had started to run as best he could, calling his sister\u2019s name.<\/p>\n

He threw open the shanty\u2019s door and stopped stunned at what he saw within.\u00a0 A white haired old black man who had been badly beaten huddled in broken rocker.\u00a0 A ragged blanket covered something on a battered cot.\u00a0 Beau knelt beside his former slave.\u00a0 \u201cUncle Ep!\u00a0 What happened to you?\u00a0 Where is Anne?\u201d\u00a0 The old man gestured feebly toward the cot.<\/p>\n

Beau limped slowly to the humble bed and with great reluctance lifted the blanket.\u00a0 With a wrenching sob he dropped to his knees and took the slender body into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cAnne, Anne \u2013 my little sister.\u00a0 As God is my witness I\u2019ll find who did this!\u00a0 I\u2019ll make them suffer the way you have.\u00a0 I will; I promise you darlin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 He held her as tears streamed through the dust on his face.\u00a0 When he could bear to let her go, he turned again to the old man.<\/p>\n

\u201cUncle Ep,\u201d he cradled the bloody head on his arm.\u00a0 \u201cTry to tell me.\u00a0 Who was here; who did this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas horse soldiers, Massa Beau.\u201d\u00a0 He could barely whisper.\u00a0 \u201cThey come a riding in a burnin\u2019 \u2013 Miss Anne, she\u2026\u201d He broke off as his mind began to wander.\u00a0 \u201cAn officer with black hair, he\u2026\u00a0 night, came back –hurt her.\u00a0 Oh Lordy, Massa Beau \u2013 Miss Anne she dead!\u201d\u00a0 The former slave slumped in death \u2013 free at last.<\/p>\n

Beau stood, his eyes wild, looking frantically around the humble room.\u00a0 A pair of saddlebags tossed into a corner caught his eye.\u00a0 He scooped them up and examined the stamp then spoke aloud in a voice heavy with menace.\u00a0 \u201cLt. Cartwright, somewhere, somehow I\u2019m going to find you, and when that time comes, I\u2019ll know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau returned slowly to the present where he was still seated beside Adam on the log.\u00a0 \u201cAn old man I knew and trusted all my life condemned you, Cartwright.\u00a0 Hatred of you was the only thing that kept me alive those first few weeks, but I survived and got well and sought you out.\u00a0 I had you in my sights, and revenge was suddenly as cold as yesterday\u2019s ashes.\u00a0 Tell me why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have more than enough reason to hate, Beau, but hatred isn\u2019t a good enough reason for living.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused to gather his thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cI was at Three Oaks during the day, but I didn\u2019t come back that night.\u00a0 I can find witnesses to that if I must, but I think I know now who killed Anne.\u00a0 Tell me, when you found her, was she wearing a pin?\u00a0 It was a black cameo set with diamonds.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it has been ripped off her dress.\u00a0 That pin was our Mother\u2019s; Anne loved it and always wore it.\u00a0 How did you know about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw her wearing it while she was still alive.\u00a0 You see my men had ridden on ahead of me into Three Oaks.\u00a0 The Captain caught up with us on the road and held me back to relay the next day\u2019s orders\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

When Adam rode into Three Oaks, the plantation house with its towering white columns and groomed plantings stood regal and impressive under the gray skies and heavy clouds that seemed ready to pour even more rain.\u00a0 His men looked shabby in tattered uniforms, worn boots and bits of non-issue gear.\u00a0 Adam looked little better.\u00a0 His blue uniform had been on his back for days and his first lieutenant\u2019s bars were tarnished.\u00a0 Unshaven for two days, heavy stubble darkened his cheeks, his hair curled long behind his ears and, had anyone looked closely into his magnificent, expressive eyes, they would have seen infinite sadness.<\/p>\n

His troopers were scattered around the estate chasing chickens, ducks and piglets that they stuffed in sacks and tossed onto their horses.\u00a0 Some men probed the ground near the house with long cleaning rods searching for buried valuables.\u00a0 Adam drew rein beside a corporal standing idle watching the activity.<\/p>\n

\u201cCorporal, take two men and search the stable and then the woods for horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir,\u201d a hasty salute and he was gone.<\/p>\n

Adam called out to another soldier as he passed by after a wildly honking goose.\u00a0 \u201cBucks, bring everything out of the smokehouse and then search for cotton bales.\u00a0 They\u2019re probably well hidden.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bucks followed the corporal to carry out his orders as Adam leaned an arm behind him on his horse\u2019s rump and sat easy watching his men at work.\u00a0 He was jerked erect by a woman\u2019s scream from within the plantation house.\u00a0 Dismounting he strode through the main entrance into a lavishly decorated hallway where the burley, bearded Sergeant McKeon was wrestling with a spirited young woman trying to rip a pin from her dress.\u00a0 Adam disliked the man and considered him a foul-mouthed slacker always on the verge of serious trouble.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, girly,\u201d the Sergeant snarled.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s have that gaud.\u00a0 You won\u2019t have no more use for it.\u201d\u00a0 The girl slapped McKeon hard and pulled away from him.\u00a0 Delicate and lovely she looked barely out of her teens.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet your hands off of me!\u201d she demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI like spirit!\u201d\u00a0 McKeon caught her hair and bent her head back intent on planting a kiss on her full lips.<\/p>\n

Adam drew his Army Colt and slammed it into the Sergeant\u2019s ribs.\u00a0 McKeon released the girl and whirled on Adam his fist raised to strike.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead!\u201d Adam grated through his teeth.\u00a0 McKeon heard the hammer cock and dropped his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cSgt. McKeon you are under arrest.\u00a0 You are fully aware of the orders forbidding entry into private homes and molesting civilians.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t your first offense either!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Lieutenant,\u201d he whined.\u00a0 \u201cThese Rebs deserve anything they gits.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t make war on women, McKeon.\u00a0 Outside!\u201d\u00a0 Adam forced the man through the door at gunpoint to find his First Sergeant standing on the porch about to enter.\u00a0 \u201cAh, Sgt. Grimes, McKeon is under arrest.\u00a0 Tie him on his horse until we make camp.\u00a0 Then I\u2019ll prefer charges.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grimes led the surly McKeon away as Adam turned to Anne who had followed them onto the porch.\u00a0 Adam spread his hands in a gesture of apology.\u00a0 \u201cPlease accept my apologies for his behavior.\u00a0 Are you all right, Miss\u2026?<\/p>\n

Anne ran her fingers through her mussed hair and pulled her dress straight.\u00a0 \u201cLanghorne,\u201d she answered.\u00a0 \u201cAnne Langhorne.\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019m fine thanks to you.\u201d\u00a0 The girl suddenly noticed the provisions being carried off by Adam\u2019s men and the four horses that are being led up by the corporal Adam sent to collect them.\u00a0 \u201cOh, oh!\u00a0 You\u2019re taking everything, and my horses.\u00a0 I\u2019ll starve here!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSurely you\u2019re not here alone?\u201d Adam asked with concern.\u00a0 \u201cYou must have people, friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy parents are dead, and my brother lies wounded somewhere.\u00a0 The servants all ran off when they learned Sherman\u2019s columns were near.\u00a0 I have friends of course, but they are beyond your lines, and I couldn\u2019t reach them on foot even if they weren\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll have to try to get you out of here.\u201d\u00a0 Adam called to the corporal with the horses.\u00a0 \u201cTie those three off and bring the bay mare over here.\u201d\u00a0 As the soldier obeyed Adam stepped to his own mount and removed his saddlebags.\u00a0 He handed them to Cpl. Weems and instructed him to take his things out and put in rations for three days. Adam pulled pencil and paper from his pocket and began to write as the man went to do as instructed.<\/p>\n

Weems returned with the saddlebags bulging and Adam handed them to Anne along with the note he had written.\u00a0 \u201cKeep the mare, Miss Langhorne, and there\u2019s enough food for three or four days in the bags if you are careful.\u00a0 This pass will get you through the Union lines. I wish I could spare you an escort, but it\u2019s impossible.\u00a0 Don\u2019t move until tomorrow.\u00a0 Our columns should have passed by them.\u00a0 Keep to side roads and stay out of sight as much as you can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI \u2013 I suppose I should be grateful\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned half away from the girl and looked out coldly at the foraging men of his command.\u00a0 \u201cNot particularly,\u201d he answered.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t enjoy this kind of warfare either.\u201d<\/p>\n

A soldier ran up to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cLieutenant! Cotton, about forty bales stored in the loft over the barn!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe wagons are mired up miles back.\u00a0 Burn it,\u201d Adam ordered.<\/p>\n

Anne cried out in alarm.\u00a0 \u201cOh, must you!\u00a0 It\u2019s all we have to start over with if this terrible war ever ends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Miss, but I have no choice,\u201d Adam replied wearily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know!\u00a0 You just carry out your orders and never think of the suffering you leave behind you!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes in pain at this thrust for it was this very fact that was tormenting him.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t imagine how much I wish that statement were true.\u201d<\/p>\n

They stood staring at each other for a moment \u2013 a man and a woman with the merciless wedge of war driven between them.\u00a0 He looks so tired she thought as Adam suddenly passed his hand across his eyes and caught at the porch rail for balance.\u00a0 Anne put out her hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re ill.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA little fever; it\u2019ll pass.\u201d<\/p>\n

A shout rang out from the area of the barn and flames shot into the air.\u00a0 Adam recovered himself and said abruptly to Anne.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019d better watch for flying sparks.\u00a0 If the wind get up the fire could spread.\u201d\u00a0 He crossed quickly to the edge of the porch and called to his patrol.\u00a0 \u201cPrepare to ride!\u201d<\/p>\n

The men collected the last of the loot and began to mount.\u00a0 Adam turned back to Anne for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cGoodbye and good luck.\u00a0 I wish it didn\u2019t have to be this way.\u201d\u00a0 She reached out tentatively toward him then let her hand fall back and walked into the house.<\/p>\n

A trooper led up Adam\u2019s horse, and he mounted from the porch making the high circling arm motion that signaled \u2018Fall in on me.\u2019\u00a0 \u201cColumn forward.\u00a0 At the trot!\u201d\u00a0 The force moved out rapidly through the stone pillars that had failed to protect Three Oaks.<\/p>\n

Beau was still seated on the log. Adam had risen and was pacing in front of him.\u00a0 The memories he had laid before the Southerner were like burning coals trapped in his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter we made camp that night, McKeon murdered his guard and disappeared.\u00a0 I reported the entire incident, but we weren\u2019t allowed to lose time searching for escaped prisoners.\u00a0 He must have cut back to Three Oaks and killed Anne for the horse and the pass and made good his escape.\u00a0 If I could have known \u2013 God help me, in a way you are right about my responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said you could prove you didn\u2019t go back?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cMy fever got worse. First Sgt. Grimes sat with me all night spooning quinine and boiled water down me.\u00a0 By morning I could ride.\u00a0 Grimes survived the campaign.\u00a0 He could be located.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d\u00a0 Beau made up his mind quickly.\u00a0 \u201cYou only meant to help her, Cartwright.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been under orders too, and it\u2019s never easy when civilians are involved.\u00a0 The man we want now is McKeon.\u00a0 How do we find him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if anybody knows where he is it will probably be the Army.\u00a0 They don\u2019t like deserters who murder their own men.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go talk to my father and see if he can tell us the best man to contact.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two men began to move toward their horses.\u00a0 Suddenly Beau stopped and swung to face Adam.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019ve been lying to me\u2026!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam folded his arms and stood steady.\u00a0 \u201cI haven\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to believe that, but God help you if it should prove otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll still have your gun, and I\u2019ll still be around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, guess I\u2019ll know what to do when the time comes.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

CHAPTER V\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *****\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 KANSAS, BLOODY KANSAS
\nBoth men felt a surge of excitement as they neared the end of a long search.\u00a0 The tattered, bullet riddled sign read, Lawrence, Kansas.\u00a0 Dusty and tired they felt the gut-tightening thrill of finally reaching their objective.\u00a0 They drew rein and sat to plan for a few minutes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe should make it before nightfall,\u201d Beau said.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s hope that Colonel your Pap wired in the Bureau of Military Justice was right when he said they\u2019d had a report McKeon was riding with this gang of cutthroats.\u00a0 I\u2019d hate to have made this trip for nothing, and your family wasn\u2019t any too happy to see you takin\u2019 off again either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think they understand that we had to try this.\u00a0 We\u2019ll slip into town after dark and talk with the sheriff \u2013 see if he can give us any leads on how to establish a contact with the bunch.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to be stuck as front man, Beau.\u00a0 If McKeon sees me, it will blow the whole thing.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat suits me just fine.\u201d\u00a0 Beau\u2019s face creased in a wicked grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s one more thing you\u2019d better know before we get into this,\u201d Adam told Beau reluctantly.\u00a0 \u201cIf it comes to a gunfight, I probably won\u2019t be much use to you.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been able to pull a trigger since the war.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh, I know that, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes widened in surprise.\u00a0 \u201cYou do?\u00a0 How?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, I had a pretty good idea when you rode in to meet me unarmed, and then I saw your freeze on that deer a few days back.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been around this country too long for buck fever.\u00a0 Besides,\u201d Beau added lightly, \u201cyou talk in your sleep you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam met this news with a wry chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cTalk?\u00a0 I rave.\u00a0 You don\u2019t miss much do you?\u00a0 Sure you don\u2019t want to call this off while you\u2019re still ahead?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not worried.\u00a0 You\u2019re not the only one that ever had this happen.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen it before with men who\u2019d suddenly had a violent dose of combat.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be all right when the time comes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re taking a big chance on me, Beau.\u00a0 Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau thought for a minute before answering.\u00a0 \u201cYour side won the war, Adam, but you lost.\u00a0 I lost my family and my home, but you\u2019ve lost yourself.\u00a0 You want to help me find the man responsible for my losses.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019d like to help you find your way back.\u00a0 Just to prove that the war is over, and that two men can be friends again without being Billy Yank and Johnny Reb.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face relaxed in relief and gratitude.\u00a0 \u201cWell, come on then compadre!\u00a0 What are we waiting for?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 They collected their horses and rode on toward Lawrence.<\/p>\n

Long after dark Beau and Adam were seated in the Lawrence sheriff\u2019s office behind closed blinds.\u00a0 The sheriff was a man of middle years who had seen hard times in his strife torn county.\u00a0 He listened to them patiently while puffing on his pipe.\u00a0 Adam concluded their account.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s our story Sheriff Jenkins.\u00a0 This man McKeon is wanted by the Army and in several states.\u00a0 Do you think you\u2019ll be able to help us locate him?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sheriff took time to knock out his pipe and stretch his legs before replying.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like to help you fellows, but any kind of law is mighty hard to enforce in these times.\u00a0 You know what the war did to Kansas and Missouri \u2013 what with town fighting town, one family against another \u2013 vigilantes and guerrillas raiding and plundering everywhere.\u00a0 The hills are full of little gangs \u2013 mostly young men with no homes no more who grew up to nothing but hatred and fighting, and there are some real hard cases leading them.\u00a0 I do well to keep the peace here in town.\u00a0 There just ain\u2019t enough men willing to go trailing through the badlands for weeks in a posse trying to catch some wild bunch.\u00a0 We\u2019re still trying to get over Quantrill\u2019s raid in 63\u2019.<\/p>\n

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and bent his head.\u00a0 Beau started to speak, but Adam help up his hand.\u00a0 \u201cLook sheriff, maybe we can make a deal.\u00a0 We want McKeon, and you want the gang.\u00a0 If you can put us onto the right outfit, maybe Beau here can work himself in with them.\u00a0 I\u2019ll trail him from a distance, and when we get the proof we need, I\u2019ll bring you word where they are.\u00a0 Then you can organize your posse and take the whole lot of them at once.\u201d\u00a0 Beau nodded his enthusiastic agreement.<\/p>\n

The sheriff pushed his lips in and out as he thought.\u00a0 \u201cIt might work, but I don\u2019t envy you, young fellow, if they should git onto you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can take care of myself,\u201d Beau insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, fellows.\u00a0 If you two are willin\u2019 to try it, it don\u2019t cost me nothin\u2019 to go along with you, but you\u2019re pretty much on your own.
\n\u201cI believe the man you want comes into town now and again to do some drinking at the Lucky Seven.\u00a0 As long as they don\u2019t make no trouble here, I don\u2019t ask too many questions, but you might run into him if you hang around there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau stood up grinning widely. \u201cThanks, we\u2019ll give it a try.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam collected his hat and shook Sheriff Jenkins\u2019 hand.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll be hearing from us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so boys; I purely hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

Outside the sheriff\u2019s office Beau and Adam put their head close together.\u00a0 Adam spoke first.\u00a0 “\u201cBetter part company here. We want them to think you\u2019re alone.\u00a0 Good hunting, Beau, and remember, I\u2019ll be around somewhere pretty close if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo long, Adam.\u00a0 Take care of yourself.\u201d\u00a0 They separated and walked away into the darkness.
\nAdam sprawled completely relaxed and apparently asleep with his hat tilted well down over his face in a chair on the porch of the hotel across the street from the Lucky Seven saloon.\u00a0 The last two days had passed slowly but there was no way to hurry the process.\u00a0 Just as Adam\u2019s eyes were about to close in fact, McKeon rode quietly through the town and dismounted in front of the saloon.\u00a0 He tied his horse and stepped inside.<\/p>\n

In the cool, dimness of the Lucky Seven, Beau was playing cards with one of the saloon girls.\u00a0 She looked up as the outlaw entered and then glanced quickly back at Beau giving a barely visible jerk of her head. Beau pushed the kitty across the table and stood up saying, \u201cThanks, honey.\u00a0 Looks like you win this hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau strolled casually to the bar and put his foot up on the rail alongside McKeon.\u00a0 He put a dollar on the bar and pushed a bottle in McKeon\u2019s direction.\u00a0 \u201cHave one on me.\u201d<\/p>\n

McKeon looked at his suspiciously. \u201cWhy should I drink with you, stranger?\u201d<\/p>\n

My name\u2019s Wesley if it will make you feel any better.\u00a0 Go ahead, drink up.\u201d\u00a0 McKeon shrugged and poured himself a drink.<\/p>\n

\u201cMuch obliged.\u00a0 You new in town?<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Beau answered.\u00a0 \u201cYou might say I\u2019m looking for a job.\u00a0 I understand you and some friends got a nice little transfer and haulage business.\u00a0 What\u2019s the chance of getting on with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, things are running pretty smooth as they are.\u00a0 We don\u2019t often take on new men.\u00a0 Besides, where\u2019d you hear of our outfit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, word of a good firm always gets around.\u00a0 It got a little too hot for me out in Nevada, and I decided to give this country a try.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of trouble were you in?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI killed a man \u2013 an ex-Yankee lieutenant named Cartwright.\u00a0 My reasons were personal ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

McKeon roared with laughter.\u00a0 \u201cWell, well, well!\u00a0 So the lieutenant finally got his.\u00a0 I wish I\u2019d of knowed where he was myself.\u00a0 You know, Wesley, this changes a lot of things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau was a picture of surprise.\u00a0 \u201cDid you know him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKnow him!\u00a0 I served under the bastard in the war.\u00a0 He always was a stickler for regulations.\u00a0 Had me arrested once and was gonna court martial me.\u00a0 But I sure surprised him!\u00a0 I think we might be able to use you after all.\u00a0 Have a drink!\u201d\u00a0 McKeon pushed the bottle back to Beau, and they both took a drink.<\/p>\n

As the day lengthened Beau and McKeon wove their way out of the saloon and mounted.\u00a0 They rode slowly away to the south.\u00a0 As they disappeared down the street, Adam stretched indolently, ambled across the hotel porch, untied Whiskey and rode leisurely in their wake.<\/p>\n

Adam was located on the backside of a cutbank well above the sturdy, four-room cabin half-hidden in a swell of the prairie where Beau and McKeon had led him. Screened by low shrubs that grew along the top of the bank, Adam kept his field glasses trained on the cabin.\u00a0 His carbine lay nearby, and he wore his pistol.\u00a0 More for show than go he thought ruefully.\u00a0 Sort of like a toad frog swelling up to threaten you.<\/p>\n

Inside the cabin, McKeon was making Beau known to his followers.\u00a0 \u201cThis here\u2019s Beau Wesley.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be working with us for a while.\u00a0 Him and me had a mutual acquaintance.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t that right, Beau?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure is,\u201d Beau replied.\u00a0 \u201cPleased to meet you gentlemen.\u201d<\/p>\n

McKeon pointed at one of the men who was busy cleaning a rifle.\u00a0 \u201cThis hombre here\u2019s Pete Blanco.\u00a0 He\u2019s a real expert when it comes to blowing a safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blanco looked up and nodded pleasantly toward Beau.\u00a0 \u201cHowdy,\u201d he said and went back to his work.<\/p>\n

McKeon next indicated a very young, but tough looking boy who was wiping his pistol fondly with a soft rag.\u00a0 \u201cThat young devil calls himself the Montana Kid \u2013 he\u2019s mighty handy with a gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

One look and the chemistry of dislike flared between Beau and the Kid.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I\u2019ll bet he is,\u201d Beau said dryly.\u00a0 The Kid merely grunted.<\/p>\n

\u201cThem two are Bill and Wade Floyd.\u201d\u00a0 McKeon jerked his head at two men with similar features who were playing cards at a rough table.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s just the five of us \u2013 six now with you.\u00a0 We got a real smooth operation \u2013 banks, gold shipments and a train now and then.\u00a0 We plan each move real careful before we start.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t a bad life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds fine, and I\u2019m mighty broke.\u00a0 When do I get a chance to start earning some money around here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re awful anxious for a greenhorn,\u201d the Montana Kid snapped.\u00a0 \u201cOne thing sure, McKeon, I ain\u2019t gonna wet nurse this Johnny Reb for you.\u201d\u00a0 Beau\u2019s slow, Southern drawl was hard to miss.<\/p>\n

Beau let his accent thicken and spoke slowly.\u00a0 \u201cKid, didn\u2019t anybody ever tell you about Southerners.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got real mean tempers when somebody gets smart with us.\u00a0 The only reason I don\u2019t take that fancy pistol away from you and knock your teeth loose with it, is because I don\u2019t believe in pickin\u2019 on children.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Kid shot to his feet and dropped his gun into the low-slung holster.\u00a0 \u201cAnytime you\u2019re ready to try, Reb!\u201d<\/p>\n

McKeon jumped between them. \u201cAll right you two!\u00a0 Cool it off.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you who to shoot and when.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want no trouble here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau and the Kid continued to glare at each other, undecided whether to fight or back down.\u00a0 The spell broke when a girl entered from another room with a pot of stew and a stack of bowls.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere\u2019s your vittles \u2013 oh!\u201d\u00a0 Suddenly aware of the tension in the room, she began to back away.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, gal, put down the food,\u201d McKeon demanded.\u00a0 \u201cThese two young roosters was just trying their spurs.\u201d\u00a0 The girl, who looked very young in her drab brown linsey-woolsey dress and bare feet, set the dishes and stew pot on the table and glanced up shyly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis one here is Beau Wesley,\u201d McKeon told her.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll be joining up with us for a while.\u00a0 Beau, this is Lindy Ann.\u00a0 She cooks and cleans for us \u2013 mighty handy.\u00a0 Just a word of warning though \u2013 hands off \u2013 she belongs to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau bowed politely.\u00a0 \u201cA real pleasure, ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unused to any sort of courtesy, Lindy turned away in confusion.\u00a0 \u201cHow-dee.\u201d\u00a0 Her accent was pure Tennessee mountain twang.<\/p>\n

McKeon\u2019s men settle around the table as Lindy brought in a rounded loaf of soda bread, butter, cheese and pickles along with a big pot of coffee.\u00a0 As the others filled their plates and began to bolt down the meal, Beau spoke quietly to Lindy.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t you join us, ma\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lindy appeared frightened as McKeon looked up with a growl.\u00a0 \u201cShe eats in the kitchen.\u00a0 Stick to your own business, Wesley, and you\u2019ll get along a lot better here.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Beau shrugged and began to eat.<\/p>\n

The hour was late and only the dying fire lighted the cabin room when Beau slipped quietly from his bedroll by the fireplace and looked around.\u00a0 Bill and Wade Floyd snored peacefully in bunks along the wall. McKeon had retired to one room pulling Lindy with him, and the Montana Kid has slammed the door behind him as he entered the small back room.\u00a0 Beau picked up his boots and eased to the front door.\u00a0 Opening it a crack he peered into the moonlit night and then slipped out.<\/p>\n

Beau pulled on his boots and strolled leisurely toward the outhouse looking right and left to be sure he was unobserved.\u00a0 Once at the privy, he ducked around it and drifted silently up a draw. He heard a night bird whistle twice.\u00a0 \u201cAdam?\u201d he called softly.<\/p>\n

Adam melted out of the darkness near Beau and answered in a low rumble.\u00a0 \u201cHere, Beau.\u00a0 How did it go?\u00a0 I was getting worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau relaxed.\u00a0 \u201cNo trouble.\u00a0 He took the bait like a starvin\u2019 trout.\u00a0 I\u2019m positive McKeon\u2019s my man, but after almost killing you on the basis of those saddlebags, I\u2019d like some real proof first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you still determined to go through with this, Beau?\u00a0 You\u2019ve done enough.\u00a0 Why not let the law take care of them all?\u00a0 We can get the sheriff tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t let it go at that.\u00a0 I promised Anne.\u00a0 It\u2019s something I have to finish myself.\u201d\u00a0 Beau hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cAnd we got troubles, Adam.\u00a0 There\u2019s a girl in there.\u00a0 Some poor mountain kid McKeon picked up somewhere and turned into a drudge.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have to get her clear before the shooting starts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam groaned softly.\u00a0 \u201cMan, that is all we need!\u00a0 You\u2019re a hothead bent on personal vengeance; I can\u2019t shoot to save my life, and between us we\u2019ve got to protect a woman.\u00a0 What now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Hang on until I can get some proof, I guess.\u00a0 Then we\u2019ll do what we have to do when the time comes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBe careful, Beau,\u201d Adam said fervently.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t afford to lose you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unaware of the pain and passion behind Adam\u2019s last statement, Beau was already headed back toward the cabin and said over his shoulder, \u201cYeah, sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head and slid back into the shadows and made his way to his camp. His set up was a basic cold camp with ground sheet and bedroll and a sack of jerky, hard biscuits, cheese, canned tomatoes and fruits and a water bag.\u00a0 Whiskey was picketed nearby in a shallow draw that featured rich grasses and a tiny trickle of water.\u00a0 Frustrated and deeply worried, Adam stretched out and pulled a blanket over himself but found little sleep that night.<\/p>\n

The next day seemed to progress normally as Adam watched from his vantage point.\u00a0 He had seen Lindy come out with a stack of bedding and hang it on a line to air before returning to the house.\u00a0 The Montana Kid had set up a shooting gallery of empty tins and bottles on a fence and was indulging in some fancy pistol practice.\u00a0 Bill and Wade Floyd watched him, making occasional wise cracks.\u00a0 Beau and Pete Blanco were grooming their horses in a lean-to behind the cabin.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled some jerky and hard bread from his supply sack and munched slowly without taking his eyes from the scene.\u00a0 Presently Lindy stepped outside and called, \u201cNoontime.\u00a0 Come and eat \u2018fore I throw it out!\u201d\u00a0 The men broke off their activities and headed inside.\u00a0 Adam took advantage of the break to drink and answer a call of nature.\u00a0 The endless waiting was beginning to rub him raw.<\/p>\n

After lunch the Floyd brothers organized a card game.\u00a0 Beau and Pete Blanco joined them around the table, but the Montana Kid refused.\u00a0 He sat apart from the card players moodily polishing his gun and sipping from a quart of whiskey.\u00a0 McKeon was not in sight.<\/p>\n

Beau was dealer in a game of blackjack.\u00a0 \u201cHit me,\u201d Pete Blanco said.\u00a0 Beau dealt him a card and the older man nodded in satisfaction.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll stand,\u201d Wade Floyd decided.\u00a0 His brother Bill asked for a hit.\u00a0 Beau dealt.\u00a0 \u201cHit me again,\u201d was the call.\u00a0 Beau complied.\u00a0 \u201cDamn! Busted.\u201d\u00a0 Bill threw in his hand.<\/p>\n

Beau had an eight down and a two up.\u00a0 \u201cDealer takes one,\u201d he said and dealt himself a jack.\u00a0 \u201cPay twenty-one,\u201d he announced.\u00a0 Pete threw in his hand.\u00a0 Wade turned up his hold card and said, \u201cBlackjack!\u201d\u00a0 Beau paid Wade and took the remainder of the pot.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s the boss,\u201d Beau asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s out having a look around,\u201d Pete answered.\u00a0 \u201cSaid he\u2019s had a feeling all day that we were being watched.\u201d\u00a0 A shock of cold fear ran down Beau\u2019s spine.<\/p>\n

Bill Floyd turned to the Montana Kid with a piece of friendly advice.\u00a0 \u201cBetter lay off that snake oil.\u00a0 You know he don\u2019t like it when you get liquored up.\u201d<\/p>\n

A surly frown darkened the Kid\u2019s youthful face.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m big enough to take a drink without his say so.\u201d<\/p>\n

The door opened and Beau suppressed a jump.\u00a0 It was only Lindy her arms filled with the aired bedding.\u00a0 As she passed in front of the Kid, Montana grabbed her arm and pulled her into his lap spilling the laundry on the floor.\u00a0 \u201cCome here, baby,\u201d he crooned.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou let me go!\u201d\u00a0 Lindy struggled to get away. They all froze, gripped by the sudden scene.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on now, girl, be nice.\u201d\u00a0 Montana tried to quiet her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re asking for real trouble, Kid,\u201d Pete Blanco advised.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up, old man!\u201d\u00a0 Montana bent Lindy back and leaned in to kiss her.\u00a0 Beau threw his chair aside and started for Montana.<\/p>\n

Lindy\u2019s struggles ripped open the top buttons of her high-necked dress and a long chain with Anne\u2019s jet and diamond cameo attached fell free.\u00a0 Brew stopped stunned, then reached down and lifted Lindy away from Montana and pushed her behind him.<\/p>\n

Beau jerked Montana out of his chair with one heave, knocked aside his arm as he reached for his gun and dropped him with a powerful one-two punch. Uncertain what to do the other men held their places.\u00a0 Beau swung on Lindy.\u00a0 \u201cLindy \u2013 that pin \u2013 where did you get it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, why \u2013 Mr. McKeon he give it to me.\u00a0 It\u2019s the only present I ever had,\u201d she stammered.<\/p>\n

A look of violent anger reddened Beau\u2019s face as he whirled to leave the cabin.\u00a0 They all flinched as rifle shots sounded from outside.\u00a0 Beau raced out hotly followed by the others.<\/p>\n

Prowling like a wolf around the cabin, McKeon had headed for the cut bank and stumbled across Adam\u2019s camp.\u00a0 Adam saw him coming and made for better shelter, but McKeon had seen him move and pinned him down in a shallow gully with rifle fire.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam wore his sidearm and carried his carbine but was unable to return fire.\u00a0 Completely blocked, his face twisted and sweat drenched him as he struggle to break free.\u00a0 His cover was minimal.\u00a0 Once reinforcements arrived he would be trapped and finished.<\/p>\n

McKeon continued to fire regularly in Adam\u2019s direction as Beau charged up behind him.\u00a0 \u201cMcKeon, you bastard, I want you!\u201d he screamed.\u00a0 Beau\u2019s long dive hit McKeon from the rear before he realized he was under attack.\u00a0 They went to the ground rolling and fighting like two wildcats.<\/p>\n

Adam took advantage of the distraction to break for cover in an outcrop of rock.\u00a0 He was in the open as the other three men ran up.\u00a0 McKeon, fighting for his life against the enraged Beau, shouted to his men.\u00a0 \u201cGet Wesley! He\u2019s a ringer!\u201d\u00a0 Pete drew and aimed for Beau as McKeon managed to roll clear for an instant.\u00a0 Adam halted in mid-stride and without a moment\u2019s thought or hesitation threw up his rifle and fired offhand toward Pete Blanco.\u00a0 The shot struck Pete full in the chest and threw him back hard onto the ground.<\/p>\n

Bill Floyd saw his friend drop and fired at Adam who was again running toward cover.\u00a0 A blow like being struck with a heavy hammer took Adam\u2019s leg out from under him and he rolled behind a tree snapping off another shot toward his assailant.\u00a0 The shot connected, and Bill slid slowly to his knees.<\/p>\n

Wade Floyd, torn between going to his brother and finishing the fight, was just about to drop the hammer on Beau when Lindy ran up carrying a shotgun that she leveled at Bill and Wade in a businesslike manner.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWade Floyd, don\u2019t you move; you neither, Bill.\u00a0 I\u2019ll shoot you; I mean it!\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna hurt Beau.\u201d\u00a0 The men froze under the menace of the heavy gauge shotgun.<\/p>\n

Adam scrambled up from behind the tree and limped toward Beau who was strangling the exhausted McKeon with his bare hands.\u00a0 Adam dragged his friend free having to more than half-fight him to stop the slaughter.\u00a0 \u201cBeau,\u201d he shouted.\u00a0 \u201cBeau!\u00a0 Let him alone.\u00a0 Not like this!\u201d\u00a0 As Adam got him away from McKeon some of the wildness died from Beau\u2019s eyes, and he began to take in the scene around him.<\/p>\n

Lindy had forced the Floyd brothers to throw down their guns and Adam kicked McKeon\u2019s forty-four beyond reach.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing here, Lindy?\u201d Beau demanded as he took the shotgun and covered the remaining gang members.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I shore weren\u2019t gonna let them shoot you, what with you being so nice and polite and all.\u201d<\/p>\n

The sudden fight, his psychological breakthrough and the shock of being shot caught up with Adam.\u00a0 He holstered his pistol and leaned against a tree for support. Blood poured down his right leg from mid-thigh.\u00a0 Beau was stunned to realize his friend was wounded.\u00a0 \u201cAdam!\u00a0 You\u2019re hit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d Adam said, then closed his eyes and slid quietly to the ground.<\/p>\n

Adam came to in a bunk in the cabin with Lindy dressing his wound.\u00a0 Embarrassed to find himself practically nude before a strange young woman, he turned his head away.\u00a0 Lindy, practical to a fault, and used to a house full of brothers, was not embarrassed in the least.\u00a0 She took in the deep chest, lightly furred in crisp, dark hair, the powerful shoulders and arms corded with muscle, the slim waist and narrow hips, the impressive package and long, hard legs.\u00a0 \u201cNo need to be shamed. I thought Beau was mighty good lookin,\u2019 but you\u2019re a right fine figure of a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

The expressive face with the compelling eyes and lips that cried out to be kissed turned back to her.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Miss Lindy.\u00a0 Do you think I\u2019ll live?\u201d\u00a0 His leg ached, and he felt a little lightheaded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a clean flesh wound.\u00a0 You lost some blood, and you\u2019ll be sore for a while, but it should heal up just fine.\u201d\u00a0 Adam smiled up at her and turned to look around the room.<\/p>\n

Beau was patching up Bill Floyd who was tied to a chair.\u00a0 McKeon, Wade Floyd and the still unconscious Montana were stoutly tied, gagged and braced against the wall along the floor.\u00a0 Pete Blanco\u2019s body was laid out and covered with a sheet in the other bunk.\u00a0 Beau finished up his work on Bill and crossed to stand beside Adam as Lindy finished his dressing.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow you doing, partner?\u201d Beau asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot bad all considered.\u00a0 I seem to be able to shoot again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne dead, one winged.\u00a0 When you go, boy, you go all the way.\u00a0 Told you that you\u2019d be okay when the time came.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was less than delighted to learn that he had killed Pete, but knew it was useless to agonize over it.\u00a0 It had been a choice between Pete\u2019s life and Beau\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, as you say.\u00a0 I\u2019d have preferred to just slow him up a little, but it was a snap shot.\u00a0 What happened to him?\u201d\u00a0 Adam pointed across the room to the Montana Kid who showed no signs of recovering consciousness.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had a set-to with him before McKeon opened up on you and knocked him out.\u00a0 When he started to come around again Lindy slugged him with the frying pan, grabbed his shotgun and came to help us.\u00a0 She\u2019s quite a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe sure is.\u201d\u00a0 Adam favored her with a slow, sassy wink.\u00a0 \u201cAnd we were worried about protecting her.\u00a0 How did you get in a place like this, Lindy?\u00a0 You sound like a Tennessee girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen Mr. McKeon come by home, I thought he was mighty fine with that there fancy mare of hiss\u2019en, and what with givin\u2019 me presents and talkin\u2019 so fancy.\u00a0 I was seventeen, and Paw said as how I\u2019d never be nothin\u2019 but an old maid, so I ups and run off with him when he asked me.\u00a0 After we\u2019uns got clear out here, I found out what he was like, but I didn\u2019t have no way of gittin\u2019 on home.\u00a0 I had to stay \u2013 until you came, Beau.\u201d\u00a0 She smiled winningly at the big Southerner.\u00a0 \u201cNobody ever took up for me before.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t let \u2018em kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lindy eased closer to Beau, holding out Anne\u2019s pin in her work-roughened hand.\u00a0 \u201cHere\u2019s the pin.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know it was your sister\u2019s.\u00a0 I\u2019m real sorry about her, and what you tole me \u2018n all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau smiled at Lindy and closed her hand over the pin.\u00a0 He glanced quickly at Adam who nodded yes.\u00a0 \u201cYou keep it, honey.\u00a0 You\u2019ve earned it.\u00a0 I think Anne would like you to have it. And I\u2019m going to see to it that you get home to your folks too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaw will whup me for being gone so long,\u201d she stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we\u2019ll do what we have to about that when the time comes.\u201d<\/p>\n

This was more than Adam had bargained for and he groaned.\u00a0 \u201cOh no!\u00a0 Famous last words.\u00a0 Come on, Beau, help me up from here, and let\u2019s get this bunch to the sheriff before you find us some more trouble.\u201d\u00a0 Beau extended his hand and pulled Adam from the bunk.<\/p>\n

Adam, Beau and Lindy exited the sheriff\u2019s office a few days later and stood together on the boardwalk. Their horses were tied at the rack behind them.\u00a0 Lindy was glowing after a good bath, a visit to a hairdresser and some new clothes.\u00a0 She wore a navy blue split riding skirt, a good white linen blouse, a matching vest and sported brand new boots.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam I shore do thank you for these here things.\u201d\u00a0 She ran a hand down her skirt enchanted with the touch of the fine wool fabric.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a real gentleman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s thanks enough to see how lovely you look in them,\u201d Adam said his eyes alight at her pleasure.\u00a0 He moved a bit stiffly on his injured leg, but otherwise looked better than he had for some time.\u00a0 He turned to Beau.\u00a0 \u201cAre you sure you won\u2019t come back to the Ponderosa with me?\u00a0 I think Pa would like it, and we can always use help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Adam, but no.\u00a0 I want to take Lindy home, and then I\u2019ve got my own world to rebuild.\u00a0 I hope I can do as well as you have in the last few days.\u00a0 No more dreams, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo more dreams.\u00a0 I think Pa was right when he said I had to learn to live in the present again, and with you in action, I didn\u2019t have time for much else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beau started to turn away but swung back to say, \u201cThanks for pulling me off McKeon.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t see it then, but you were right.\u00a0 It\u2019s best to let the law take care of vengeance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess we\u2019re about even then, Beau.\u201d\u00a0 The two men shook hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you ever need anything\u2026\u201d Adam began.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but that reward money you insisted I keep will get me off to a good start.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou watch this crazy Rebel\u201d Adam told Lindy.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t let him get himself killed on the way home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019ll make him mind all right.\u201d\u00a0 Beau and Adam laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bet you can, honey; I\u2019ll bet you can.\u201d\u00a0 Beau grinned at her fondly.<\/p>\n

They untied their horses and mounted.\u00a0 Beau and Adam looked at one another for a long moment and then both snapped off a salute.\u00a0 The pair of Southerners turned and rode off waving back at Adam.\u00a0 He watched until they were out of sight.\u00a0 Whiskey whickered and looked back at his rider.\u00a0 \u201cI know, son, I know.\u00a0 Your mares are waiting, and it\u2019s about time I got home from the war.\u201d\u00a0 Adam touched the big stallion with his spurs and they headed swiftly for the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Notes on \u201cWHEN THE TIME COMES\u201d<\/p>\n

Several Bonanza episodes skirted the Civil War rather cautiously. Since I implied in the fanfic script \u201cThe Price of Courage<\/a>\u201d that Adam has seen actual fighting, I felt like I should go on and tell his story.\u00a0 This has been converted from a script to a short story.<\/p>\n

It seems obvious that Ben and Adam\u2019s moral convictions would have forced them to support the North.\u00a0 Hoss, being sensible, would have figured it was none of his business and stayed home.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s sympathies have already been established.\u00a0 I believe, however, that Adam eventually would have found it necessary to take a more active part in the conflict.\u00a0 This is his story.<\/p>\n

All the factual data included is accurate and can be verified in standard texts and reference works.\u00a0 The Civil War is often viewed today as a very romantic and dramatic conflict.\u00a0 To the people actually engaged in fighting it this was not so.\u00a0 Letters and diaries of the period reveal that the war was a tragedy dividing families and bringing grief, hunger and destitution to hundreds of thousands.\u00a0 The numbers killed and wounded are astounding.\u00a0 Both sides suffered greatly, and by and large the men who fought were delighted when the war ended.\u00a0 I have attempted to show some of this and its effect on Adam in this story.<\/p>\n

Tilting at rings is an actual sport practiced at Renaissance Fairs, etc.\u00a0 The lance is 5 \u00bd feet to 6 feet long and made of polished oak with a steel ferrule and cord bound butt.\u00a0 The rings are mounted about nine feet above the ground.\u00a0 The best form consists of bracing the lance under the armpit and resting it along the forearm. The knight rides standing in the stirrups, elbows high and shoulders braced with the head to one side sighting down the level lance like a rifle.\u00a0 The horse is controlled largely with the knees.\u00a0 It requires accuracy, speed and practice.\u00a0 Nine seconds is very good time for a charge on a fast horse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:<\/strong> Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Civil War, ESA, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright, Redemption<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Deeply troubled after his return from the Civil War, Adam finds redemption in helping a Rebel seek justice.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (21,780 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9737,"featured_media":3071,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1005,23,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1873,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/civilwar.jpg?fit=384%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":46688,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=46688","url_meta":{"origin":12860,"position":0},"title":"Jingle Bull (by ElayneA)","author":"Elayne","date":"December 24, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Adventures in 'riding herd' leads one brother on a merry chase. 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Rated: K+ (7,585 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47067,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47067","url_meta":{"origin":12860,"position":2},"title":"Deep in December (by JC*)","author":"JC","date":"December 24, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A moment of reflection for Ben as he contemplates Christmas without Adam. Rating:\u00a0 G Words: 730 Written for the Bonanza Brand 2023 Advent Calendar","rel":"","context":"In "Ben Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Ben Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1004"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2166,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2166","url_meta":{"origin":12860,"position":3},"title":"A Light in the Darkness (by pony)","author":"pony","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Adam Cartwright is coming home ... but the path is dark and lonely. Will there be a light at the end of the road? \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K (1,355 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":40802,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=40802","url_meta":{"origin":12860,"position":4},"title":"Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch (A Bonanza Really Short Story) by JC","author":"JC","date":"December 24, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"The Cartwright brothers \u2013 you know them, you love them, but let\u2019s face it \u2013 after all these years things have gotten pretty predictable around the Ponderosa. It\u2019s the same old story in a nutshell... Rating: G WC: 563","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/The-Saga-of-Annie-O-Toole.jpg?fit=600%2C472&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/The-Saga-of-Annie-O-Toole.jpg?fit=600%2C472&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/The-Saga-of-Annie-O-Toole.jpg?fit=600%2C472&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5392,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5392","url_meta":{"origin":12860,"position":5},"title":"The Ballad of Ben Cartwright (by ansinico)","author":"ansinico","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0l have put my own words to the\u00a0air of an Irish drinking song, \u00a0'The Wild Rover' also called 'No Nay Never' \u00a0l hope you like it. 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