{"id":12861,"date":"2001-01-06T20:14:04","date_gmt":"2001-01-07T01:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12861"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:04:38","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:04:38","slug":"wall-of-darkness-by-gwynne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12861","title":{"rendered":"Wall of Darkness (by Gwynne)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0 When an accident leaves Adam suddenly blind, he and his family must come to terms with his drastically altered status.\u00a0 A poker game and a forest fire both have their impact.<\/p>\n

Advisory:\u00a0 This story contains one scene that includes explicit sexual activity.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 soft R\u00a0 (26,450 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wall of Darkness<\/strong><\/p>\n

They had argued fiercely, but Adam finally convinced his father of the utility of windmills and lost no time installing several in dry areas of the ranch.\u00a0 They had been pumping water for some three years now and had proved themselves by opening substantial new areas to selective grazing.\u00a0 The darn things did require maintenance however \u2013 just another chore in an endless list.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam were hard at work on the one in Seco Flats.\u00a0 The late spring sun warmed the landscape, and the pasture was ablaze with a profusion of tiny wildflowers: yellow and blue, scarlet, purple and orange.\u00a0 The big cattle tank was half full of water; the windmill squeaked and rattled in the shifting breeze, and a partially demolished haystack \u2013 what was left of emergency feed for the few animals who had wintered over in this part of the range \u2013 stood just below the tower.<\/p>\n

Adam had climbed up to the tiny platform some thirty feet above the ground and was examining the mechanism of the still working mill.\u00a0 Hoss stood below looking up patiently at his big brother; the soft blue eyes that gave the lie to the tough aspect of his massive frame were squinted almost shut against the bright, colorless sunlight.\u00a0 Their horses were tied to the far side of the windmill tower along with a heavily loaded pack mule.<\/p>\n

Adam finished his examination and called down.\u00a0 \u201cThese gears are about chewed up.\u00a0 See if you can dig out that new set.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have to change \u2018em before we move a herd in here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is it that whenever we look at one of these blame things they always need a day\u2019s work,\u201d Hoss grumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust lucky I guess,\u201d Adam answered.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, I need those parts.\u201d\u00a0 Adam turned back to the machinery and fished in the leather bag beside him for a tool to disengage the mechanism and lock down the mill.\u00a0 A sudden gust of wind whipped down the draw behind them as Adam crouched over the gears.\u00a0 The tail vane snapped around and caught him a heavy blow across the back of his head and shoulders throwing him clear of the platform.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned back at the sound to see Adam thud into the haystack and roll like a broken doll limp and motionless to the ground.\u00a0 With surprising agility the big man reached his brother and knelt beside him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam!\u201d he spoke urgently.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you hear me?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 There was no response. Hoss\u2019s big hands were gentle as he checked the unconscious man for broken bones.\u00a0 He found nothing beyond a nasty lump on the back of his head that oozed a sticky skim of blood.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned Adam onto his side and rested his upper body against the foot of the haystack.\u00a0 Hastening to the water tank, he soaked his neckerchief and hurried back.\u00a0 He sponged Adam\u2019s face and then placed the cool cloth over the rapidly swelling knot in his brother\u2019s dark hair.\u00a0 Settling Adam against his shoulder, he called him again softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, time to wake up partner.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss had just come back from his second trip to the water tank with a freshly wet cloth.\u00a0 His brother seemed deeply unconscious.\u00a0 \u201cCome on Adam; you\u2019re startin\u2019 to scare me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam grunted and stirred slightly.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s right; come on back for ole Hoss.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Very slowly Adam\u2019s hand drifted to the back of his head.\u00a0 His eyes were still closed and he winced with pain as he touched the bump.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, are you hurt bad?\u201d Hoss inquired anxiously.<\/p>\n

Adam made no effort to move as he answered.\u00a0 \u201cMy head\u2019s splitting.\u00a0 Give me a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss continued to support his brother as he scolded, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t ah likely had many more minutes left if you hadn\u2019t lit in that haystack.\u00a0 It\u2019s pure dumb luck you didn\u2019t break your neck.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened his eyes and looked for Hoss.\u00a0 There was nothing.\u00a0 Minutes before it had been a sunny spring afternoon now it was a moonless midnight.\u00a0 He closed his eyes, rubbed them, drew a shaky breath and then opened them again straining desperately to see.\u00a0 There was no light, no sun, no stars or moon, only darkness, a solid wall of black \u2013 deep, intense and terrifying.\u00a0 Yet he could smell the sun warmed hay, the blooming sage.\u00a0 Holding down panic in an iron grip he turned his head toward the sound of his brother\u2019s voice and opened his eyes wide.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, look at my eyes.\u00a0 Can you see anything wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss leaned close and looked into Adam\u2019s deep-set hazel eyes under the thick, dark brows. There was no injury that he could see, but they looked blank, lacking their usual lively intelligence.\u00a0 \u201cThey look fine to me Adam.\u00a0 Why?\u201d\u00a0 The lids fell, inky lashes brushing tanned cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t see, Hoss.\u00a0 I can\u2019t see anything.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s voice shook.\u00a0 He strained to sit up and Hoss held him.<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy big brother.\u00a0 Rest for a minute.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam ducked his throbbing head, pressed his hands over his eyes and sat silent for a long minute while his heart raced and the primitive root of his brain screamed.\u00a0 In time he looked up again and opened his eyes.\u00a0 Hoss could feel the intensity of his fear and his desire to see.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing.\u00a0 There\u2019s no light.\u00a0 Nothing at all.\u00a0 Please, God, don\u2019t let this happen to me!\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s stomach roiled suddenly and he doubled over vomiting lunch, breakfast and what felt like everything back to last Sunday\u2019s chicken dinner.\u00a0 Hoss held him as his insides convulsed.\u00a0 When he was completely empty, dry heaves continued for a good ten minutes.\u00a0 Each spasm set off shattering waves of pain that ricocheted back and forth within his skull.\u00a0 Finally they subsided leaving him exhausted and trembling.<\/p>\n

Hoss slipped away and brought a remoistened neckerchief and a canteen so he could wipe his face and rinse his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t like this.\u00a0 I think you\u2019ve got a bad concussion.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to get you home.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send for Doc Martin.\u00a0 He\u2019ll find out what\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 Likely it\u2019s only temporary.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam drew several long, deep breaths.\u00a0 Hoss was right.\u00a0 There was nothing to be gained by giving way to hysterics out here in the back of nowhere.\u00a0 Forcing down his terror, he said steadily, \u201cYeah, I expect you\u2019re right.\u00a0 It may wear off.\u00a0 Meanwhile, it\u2019s going to be a long ride home.\u00a0 How are we going to manage it?\u00a0 Between the way my head aches and not being able to see, I\u2019m not sure I can ride alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll unpack the mule and turn him loose here.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ll throw a tarp over the supplies and tuck \u2018em up under the windmill.\u00a0 You can get up behind me, and we\u2019ll spell off our horses.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss quickly devised a workable plan.\u00a0 \u201cDo you feel up to getting started?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo use putting it off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, you stay put until I turn old muley loose.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back for you in two shakes.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss moved away to unpack the mule and stow his load.\u00a0 Presently Adam got slowly to his feet, his head swimming, and tried an experimental step sliding one foot forward and then the other.\u00a0 Reaching out for some familiar object to grip he found nothing and was suddenly, completely disoriented.\u00a0 Panic surged up from his gut and he called out, \u201cHoss, Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss arrived at a run and caught Adam by the arms as he pivoted wildly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here Adam!\u00a0 Thought I told you to stay put.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Hoss.\u00a0 Wrong time to suddenly get afraid of the dark, huh?\u201d\u00a0 Adam bit his lower lip hard.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s insides twisted at Adam\u2019s attempt to ease the tension.\u00a0 How many black nights, thunderous with storm and lightening, had he and Joe crept into Adam\u2019s room to find comfort and reassurance when they were boys?\u00a0 Suppose his brother were really blind!<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re doing fine.\u00a0 Just take a couple of good deep breaths and steady down, then we\u2019ll get started back.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam did as his brother suggested and soon felt calmer.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got it now.\u00a0 Let\u2019s head home.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss partially supported and guided Adam to their horses.\u00a0 He placed Adam\u2019s hand on Chubb\u2019s bridle and swung himself into the saddle.\u00a0 Reaching down he caught Adam\u2019s left arm and pulled him up behind him.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam found a grip on Hoss\u2019s belt and leaned his aching head against his brother\u2019s broad back.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ready, Adam?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 Adam mumbled an assent, and Hoss caught up Sport\u2019s reins and nudged Chubb gently forward.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll be home real quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

That prediction proved false.\u00a0 Hoss found that the pounding of any gait faster than a leisurely amble soon had Adam gasping through tightly clenched teeth.\u00a0 The jarring to his bruised brain was agony.\u00a0 Evening had faded into night by the time they reached the ranch house.\u00a0 They were riding double on Sport now.\u00a0 They had changed horses halfway home when Chubb began to tire under the weight of the two big men.\u00a0 Adam sat straight with his head held erect as Hoss drew rein at the hitching rack.\u00a0 He was exhausted and the pain of the concussion was unbelievable, but his tough-minded self-control had regained the upper hand during the ride.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything yet?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t seem like there\u2019s going to be either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll never believe that, Adam!\u201d he protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou may have to.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke quietly.<\/p>\n

Hoss eased Adam down and then dismounted quickly himself.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll see to the horses later.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get you inside.\u201d\u00a0 Guiding his brother carefully across the yard, Hoss stopped at the porch steps.\u00a0 \u201cTwo steps up here.\u201d\u00a0 Adam found the steps and mounted them.\u00a0 Just outside the front door he stopped and held Hoss back.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Adam.\u00a0 What is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go in.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s an end, an end and a beginning.\u00a0 This is one beginning I don\u2019t want to make.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think I understand all that, but I know we got to go in and git you some help.\u00a0 Come on now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss opened the door and stepped in ahead of Adam whose hand rested on his brother\u2019s shoulder as a guide.\u00a0 He could see Little Joe sprawled all over a chair tossing an apple from hand to hand.\u00a0 Joe sat up and turned to razz his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo my long lost big brothers have finally returned!\u00a0 We\u2019ve been waitin\u2019 supper for more than an hour on you two.\u00a0 I\u2019m about to starve.\u00a0 Where\u2019ve you been?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ignoring Joe\u2019s foolishness, Hoss asked bluntly, \u201cWhere\u2019s Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s up in his room.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss moved enough that Joe could see Adam clearly.\u00a0 Taking in his torn shirt and scratched face, Joe was moved to ask, \u201cGood grief, Adam, you look like you tangled with a grizzly.\u00a0 What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe tangled with that windmill down at Seco Flats.\u00a0 Will you go git Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe cackled.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean ol\u2019 Adam was so dumb he finally let himself get flipped off of one of those little playthings of his.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to have seen that!\u00a0 Guess you sure win the booby prize for today.\u00a0 Here \u2013 catch!\u201d\u00a0 Joe tossed the apple to Adam.\u00a0 At the words \u2018here catch\u2019 Adam automatically put out his hands.\u00a0 The apple, however, passed right in front of him and hit the floor with a thump.<\/p>\n

Hoss waved frantically at Joe, but the younger Cartwright ignored him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you, Adam.\u00a0 You blind?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you nitwit!\u201d Hoss shouted.\u00a0 \u201cWill you shut up and git Pa!\u00a0 Adam needs help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared dumbfounded as Adam began to advance slowly into the room stepping with caution.\u00a0 He stumbled directly into the table where they usually placed their weapons and was brought up short with a jar that rocketed fresh starbursts of agony through his brain.\u00a0 Blind, disoriented, overwhelmed by nausea and stunned with pain, Adam surrendered to necessity.\u00a0 \u201cSomebody\u2026please!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe spun and raced for the stairs shouting, \u201cPa, Pa, come quick!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s knees gave up the fight to hold him erect, and Hoss gathered his toppling brother into his arms and followed after Joe.
\n**********
\nDespite the late hour, Dr. Martin came at once when the rider from the Ponderosa arrived on his lathered horse.\u00a0 Some time later he completed his examination and turned to repack his medical bag.\u00a0 Adam was seated in the old rocker in his room while Ben paced nervously back and forth, and Hoss and Joe perched on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 There had been time for them to help Adam wash up and change into striped nightshirt and warm robe.<\/p>\n

Ben stopped in his process of wearing out the rug and faced the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cWell Paul?\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Martin delayed his answer, continuing to fiddle with his bag.<\/p>\n

Adam was understandably edgy and added his insistence.\u00a0 \u201cCome on Doc.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Martin was an old and valued friend of the Cartwrights and he answered with reluctance.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s not much to say, Adam.\u00a0 There is no damage to your eyes themselves.\u00a0 You had a head blow and a fall, and now you are blind.\u00a0 It just happens that way sometimes \u2013 some nerve path blocked, a slight pressure somewhere\u2026\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it permanent?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt may not be.\u00a0 The condition could clear itself.\u00a0 You might just wake up some morning and be able to see.\u00a0 On the other hand, there may never be any improvement.\u00a0 All you can do it wait and hope.\u00a0 I wish I could offer you more, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor hesitated and then went on to deal with a condition he could treat.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s a nasty bump on your head, and you are going to have a headache for a few days.\u00a0 You should rest and keep a cold pack on it.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re suffering right now, but with a head injury like that I don\u2019t dare give you anything for the pain until we\u2019re sure you\u2019re out of danger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam found himself exhausted by the events of the day and very near a breaking point.\u00a0 He forced his tongue to respond civilly.\u00a0 \u201cI understand.\u00a0 Thanks Doc, but I\u2019d rather not take anything anyway.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a good time to blunt the senses I have left.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry you had to come out so late, and I do appreciate it, but I think I\u2019d like to be alone now if everybody doesn\u2019t mind.\u201d\u00a0 His voice cracked, and he dropped his face into his hands.<\/p>\n

Ben gestured the others out, and they left quickly.\u00a0 Paul Martin spoke softly to Ben from the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll leave you something to help him sleep.\u00a0 You may need it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben nodded his thanks and closed the door quietly.<\/p>\n

He crossed to Adam\u2019s chair and put a consoling hand on his boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cThey are all gone now, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned his throbbing head against the cushioned chair back and rocked slowly to and fro.\u00a0 The curtain of his lids shielded his darkened eyes.\u00a0 \u201cPa, what am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 The plea was almost whispered.\u00a0 \u201c I\u2019m alone, and afraid and lost in the dark.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben pulled up a stool and took Adam\u2019s strong hands into his own.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not alone Adam, not ever.\u00a0 As for the rest, you\u2019re going to have to face it.\u00a0 Your life from now on can only be what you choose to make it.\u00a0 You can let this defeat you \u2013 although that would certainly surprise me, or you can fight and keep on fighting to find the way back.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be an easy trail, but you have never lacked courage.\u00a0 Hoss and Joe and I are going to be here to help you in any way we can.\u00a0 Whatever you do, it won\u2019t change the way we feel about you \u2013 you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m so tired.\u00a0 I can\u2019t think any more tonight.\u00a0 I need to get my head down before it bursts.\u00a0 Please give me a little time alone.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure you can manage by yourself?\u00a0 I don\u2019t like to leave you like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is my room, remember?\u00a0 I can find the bed.\u00a0 And don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m not going to do anything foolish.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben agreed reluctantly.\u00a0 \u201cIf that\u2019s what you want, son.\u00a0 Call me if you need me.\u201d He gave Adam\u2019s shoulder a parting squeeze and slipped out of the door.<\/p>\n

When he was sure he was alone, Adam got to his feet swaying with dizziness and groped his way to the side of the bed.\u00a0 There he slipped slowly to his knees and rested his head on the soft quilt.\u00a0 He remained there for some time doing something he rarely did \u2013 praying for himself.
\n**********
\nAdam floated up into consciousness aware only of the crushing headache that still gripped him and the faint smell of bacon cooking.\u00a0 It made him nauseous.\u00a0 Hesitantly he opened his eyes and there was nothing.\u00a0 Before he could call out or struggle to sit up someone was in the room.\u00a0 The footsteps sounded familiar.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n

Ben was beside him instantly straightening the covers, touching his face to check for fever, bringing a fresh ice pack to press against the painful lump on his skull.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI still can\u2019t see; my head is splitting, and I ache all over from the fall, otherwise not bad.\u201d\u00a0 Adam wry sense of humor in even the worst circumstances sometimes amazed his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you still nauseated?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cA little, but I\u2019m very thirsty.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben had come prepared for this.\u00a0 He helped Adam to sit up and held a glass of cold, fresh water for him.\u00a0 When it had stayed down for a few minutes, his father offered a small glass of orange juice that Hop Sing squeezed from California oranges sent over the mountains by Adam\u2019s old school friend, Brew Lattimer, who ran La Espada del Norte, a huge land grant rancho near Sacramento.<\/p>\n

The doctor\u2019s prescription was for rest, and Ben knew Adam was likely to resist the order.\u00a0 He stirred a portion of the sleeping powder Paul Martin had left into the juice and persuaded Adam to drink it.<\/p>\n

He slept for most of the day, but was aware that someone always sat with him.\u00a0 The big, red tomcat that kept the barn mice down settled on his chest about midmorning.\u00a0 His warm weight and steady, rumbling purr were comforting.\u00a0 They woke him frequently to make sure he wasn\u2019t slipping into coma, to refresh the ice pack and to offer water and clear soup.\u00a0 By evening the worst of his headache had subsided; the nausea had gone, and he was hungry.<\/p>\n

Ben brought a supper tray and ended by feeding his son to Adam\u2019s acute humiliation.\u00a0 Try as he would he could not successfully manage the tray, find the food and get it to his mouth without making a mess.<\/p>\n

Too depressed to endure either sympathy or encouragement from his family, he pleaded fatigue and persuaded them to leave him alone.\u00a0 Eventually he did sleep again rousing once when Hoss gently renewed the ice pack.<\/p>\n

From long habit Adam woke early on the second day since his fall.\u00a0 He could hear the rooster crowing from the hen house and smell the sweet green scent of dew on the grass.\u00a0 There was even the warm spot at the bottom of his bed where the first rays of the sun heated it.\u00a0 His headache was reduced to a very tender spot on the back of his head, but there was no glow of daylight beyond his eyelids.\u00a0 Last night it had been possible to convince himself that one more good night\u2019s sleep would cure all.\u00a0 That deceit was no longer available.\u00a0 He was well and truly blind.\u00a0 What now old horse<\/em>, he asked himself?\u00a0 Do you stay in bed sniveling until somebody comes to dress and feed you, or do you try what <\/em>you can do on your own?<\/em>\u00a0 He\u2019d taken enough teasing over the years for the neat and careful way he organized his clothes and gear.\u00a0 It would come in very handy now.\u00a0 Adam swung his legs out of the bed and sat up.<\/p>\n

Below Ben, Hoss and Little Joe sat gloomily around the breakfast table staring at Adam\u2019s vacant place.\u00a0 Even Hoss found little pleasure in his food.\u00a0 Finally he broke out.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDadburn it Pa, what are we gonna\u2019 do about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa,\u201d Joe added.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I think of him up there by himself \u2013 blind!\u00a0 I\u2019d go out of my mind.\u00a0 What can we do to help him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s going to depend a lot on what Adam wants to do to help himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs much as we all care for Adam, we can\u2019t give him back his sight.\u00a0 He has to learn to live without it, and that means he has to make the effort.\u00a0 Oh, there\u2019s a lot we can do to make it easier for him, but\u2026\u201d Ben broke off at the sound of footsteps on the stairs.<\/p>\n

They all turned and saw Adam already half way down.\u00a0 He was fully dressed in his usual black and had managed to comb his hair neatly and shave.\u00a0 He moved steadily down counting under his breath with one hand firmly on the rail and the other held slightly before him.\u00a0 At the last step he stopped and felt ahead to be sure he had not miscounted.\u00a0 With the voices from the dining room silenced, Adam had lost his guide.\u00a0 After waiting a moment he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cHelp me out here;\u00a0 somebody say something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re here, son.\u00a0 Come join us.\u201d\u00a0 Adam started across the living room.\u00a0 His memory for the layout of the furniture was good and he guided by running his hands along the edges of the pieces along the way.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t know that a saddle under repair that Hoss had left in the floor blocked his way.\u00a0 Ben spoke quickly as Hoss jumped from his chair.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a saddle on the floor about two steps ahead of you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam felt for the saddle with his foot and maneuvered carefully around it.<\/p>\n

He reached the dining room, found his way to his usual place and sat down.\u00a0 He ran his hands lightly over his place setting to locate each item precisely in his mind.\u00a0 \u201cHow about something to eat?\u201d he requested politely.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, I was gonna bring you some breakfast,\u201d Joe managed to stammer. \u201cShould you be up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not Joe?\u00a0 I\u2019m not sick; I just can\u2019t see.\u00a0 Besides, there\u2019s too much to do to spend the day moping in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo do?\u00a0 Adam, how\u2019d you dress, shave?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, after all these years, I didn\u2019t really have too much trouble finding my clothes, and it\u2019s not the first time I ever shaved without a mirror.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben broke in as Joe opened his mouth with another question.\u00a0 \u201cI think what we all want to say is that we\u2019re tremendously relieved and very proud to find you taking this so well.\u00a0 What are your plans, and what can we do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst I\u2019d like something to eat; unless you intend to starve me of course.\u201d\u00a0 Adam picked up his plate and handed it firmly in Joe\u2019s direction.\u00a0 Joe accepted it blankly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, over the next few days, I\u2019m going to relearn every inch of this house.\u00a0 Count every step from here to there.\u00a0 Set the location of each item in this magpie\u2019s nest in my mind.\u00a0 Once I do that, it\u2019s new rules, gentlemen.\u00a0 Nobody, and I mean nobody<\/em>, is going to move anything without telling me about it!\u00a0 Whenever you use something, it goes back where it belongs as soon as you finish with it, and that means saddles in the floor too!\u00a0 Once I learn to take care of myself on my own here in the house then I\u2019ll start to branch out.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused and turned his face toward his father.\u00a0 \u201cThis is going to be a lot of trouble for all of you for a while, but it\u2019s the only way I know to do it.\u00a0 Is it all right, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was jubilant.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s more than all right, Adam.\u00a0 It\u2019s a tremendous plan!\u00a0 You just name it, and we\u2019ll do it \u2013 won\u2019t we boys?\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s voice carried a threat of dire consequences for anyone who failed to carry through on Adam\u2019s design.<\/p>\n

Joe had served Adam\u2019s plate and put it down in front of him as his father finished speaking.\u00a0 \u201cHere\u2019s your breakfast, Adam,\u201d he informed his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat have I got Joe?\u00a0 Describe it to me in detail please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSteak in the middle \u2013 I hope you don\u2019t mind, but I cut it for you, scrambled eggs on the right, biscuits on the left \u2013 I buttered them.\u00a0 Coffee on the right where it usually is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good.\u00a0 Thank you, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Adam located his fork and began very slowly and carefully to eat.\u00a0 After a few bites he turned to Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the weather like today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u00a0 Why it\u2019s okay, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClose your eyes for a minute, Hoss and then give me an answer that means something.\u201d<\/p>\n

Surprised, Hoss did as his brother ask.\u00a0 He had a sharply improved understanding when he opened his eyes a few moments later.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Adam.\u00a0 The sun\u2019s shining, but it looks like some weather building up back over the mountains.\u00a0 Might have a thunderstorm by late this afternoon.\u00a0 Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA whole lot better.\u00a0 Thanks, Hoss.\u00a0 I know this is going to take a great deal of your time and patience.\u00a0 Please bear with me for a while.\u00a0 If it gets too bad, tell me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam returned to his meal, fortunately unaware of the grief and sympathy that filled the faces of his family.
\n**********
\nIn the days that followed Adam stuck faithfully to his plan.\u00a0 If he raged silently alone at night in the darkness of his room, it was his ordeal and no one else\u2019s.<\/p>\n

In ten day\u2019s time Adam had learned the house so well that they no longer felt the need to watch him every minute.\u00a0 He moved easily through the familiar spaces with something of his old panther like grace that always suggested tremendous power tightly controlled.\u00a0 Light touches on the furnishings were all he needed to find his way anywhere in the big house he had designed.\u00a0 Roaming for practice one day when everyone else was out, Adam came to the front door.\u00a0 He placed his hand on the knob and hesitated.\u00a0 With a shrug and a murmured \u201cWhy not,\u201d he opened it and stepped outside.<\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss came around the corner of the barn just as Adam crossed the threshold, and they stopped in surprise.\u00a0 On the verge of calling to his brother to stop, Hoss found his father\u2019s finger pressed against his lips.\u00a0 Ben shook his head and whispered, \u201cWait.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam, thinking himself alone, spoke aloud.\u00a0 \u201cHave to try it sooner or later. Six to the steps and then two steps down.\u201d\u00a0 He forced himself to step out rather than inch along, but he had miscalculated.\u00a0 He hit the first step at the end of the fifth stride, and it threw him completely off balance.\u00a0 He fell and ended up sprawled in the dust at the foot of the steps.\u00a0 Hoss started for Adam, but Ben caught his arm, motioned him back and gestured for quiet. \u201cHe has to do it on his own, Hoss,\u201d Ben breathed in his second son\u2019s ear.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t shame him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pulled himself together and got up brushing dust from the seat of his britches.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the first fall he had taken since his blinding, and it was unlikely to be the last.\u00a0 \u201cFive to the steps,\u201d he said emphatically.\u00a0 He headed in the direction of the corral where a horse whickered and the thump of hooves could be heard furnishing him with a guide.\u00a0 Halfway there he stumbled over a limb recently fallen from one of the big pines and went to his hands and knees.\u00a0 He remained there motionless for a long minute, and Ben once again had to hold Hoss back.\u00a0 \u201cLet me go to him, Pa; he\u2019ll get hurt,\u201d the big man mouthed.\u00a0 Ben shook his head no.<\/p>\n

Adam got up slowly and threw his head back.\u00a0 His fists were clenched at his sides and his face seemed to demand strength from heaven.\u00a0 Soon they could see the tension ease, and he resumed his trip to the corral moving more cautiously.\u00a0 This time he made it safely, bumping gently into the fence.\u00a0 He hooked his arms over the top rail and leaned there listening to the horses move restlessly.<\/p>\n

Ben beckoned to Hoss and they approached making enough noise that Adam could recognize their arrival.\u00a0 \u201cGlad to see you\u2019ve started to branch out, son,\u201d Ben remarked casually.\u00a0 Adam turned to the sound and one eyebrow lifted.\u00a0 \u201cYeah the sun feels good, but I might want a little help getting back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnytime you want us we\u2019re here for you, anytime.\u201d
\n**********
\nWise enough to know that isolation and loneliness could erode his will to recover, Ben was careful to spend part of each day with Adam.\u00a0 Usually they sat at the big desk and worked on ranch business.\u00a0 Adam could neither read nor write \u2013 a torture for him \u2013 but he could still think.\u00a0 The pair reviewed bids they planned to place and considered offers made by other contractors.\u00a0 They discussed what needed to be done on the ranch, who should do it and when.\u00a0 Adam had always been quick with math in his head, and his skill escalated rapidly.\u00a0 Ben only had to name the figures involved and Adam had the answer.\u00a0 He suggested clever, courteous replies to correspondence and chafed to do more.\u00a0 When the time came to draw the next payroll, Adam spoke quietly to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I think you should discontinue depositing my salary.\u00a0 I\u2019m enough trouble to everybody here as it is.\u00a0 You shouldn\u2019t be paying me for a job I can\u2019t do anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben found the simple words heartbreaking.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll do no such thing!\u201d his tone was almost angry.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t let Adam begin to think of himself as worthless.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cIt will be a very cold day in hell when you don\u2019t earn your pay around here.\u00a0 How many years did you work every minute you weren\u2019t asleep, at your studies or looking after your brothers for no pay at all?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was different,\u201d Adam said calmly.\u00a0 \u201cWe didn\u2019t have any money then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you think I\u2019ve just written it off and forgotten what you contributed?\u00a0 Even now you may not be out cruising timber or running a round-up crew, but it\u2019s immensely valuable to have you here to advise me.\u00a0 It\u2019s also a comfort to know someone knowledgeable about all our operations is here at the ranch headquarters when I have to be gone.\u00a0 More and more people are turning up on our doorstep.\u00a0 We would have lost a big timber sale if you hadn\u2019t been here when D.B. Wilkins drove out last week.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grinned at the memory.\u00a0 \u201cIt really bothered him doing business with a blind man.\u00a0 He insisted on treating me like his fragile maiden aunt, but in the end, I think he was ashamed to keep trying to drive down my price.\u00a0 We should make a good profit on the deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMore than enough to pay your salary for the next five years.\u00a0 And the men respect you, son.\u00a0 I know they bring you problems and concerns that they hesitate to raise with me.\u00a0 Why, Shorty Dawson asked me yesterday if he could have next Wednesday off as it was his wife\u2019s birthday, and he wanted to do something special for her.\u00a0 When I told him I thought they were still separated, he spoke up proud as punch.\u00a0 \u2018No sir,\u2019 he said, \u2018Adam talked me into giving it another try, and he had some mighty fine advice on how to treat Nell.\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright, let me tell you we\u2019re happy as newly weds.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright, Advisor to the Lovelorn.\u00a0 Do you think I should hang out a shingle?\u00a0 Too bad I can\u2019t get it right for myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will, son, you will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam merely nodded and refrained from asking what woman would want the burden of an unseeing husband.<\/p>\n

\u201cI nearly fell over when I asked old Lefty how he happened to think of planting pumpkin vines to hold that cut bank behind the number three line shack, and he told me you suggested it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed aloud.\u00a0 \u201cBrilliant achievement there.\u00a0 You know how I enjoy a good pumpkin pie, and Lefty\u2019s piecrust melts in your mouth.\u00a0 Okay Pop, I\u2019ll keep taking my pay so long as you find me useful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben heaved a silent sigh of relief.
\n**********
\nAdam had spoken very little at breakfast, and Hoss could sense the tension that radiated from him.\u00a0 Before the accident he would have known his brother was brooding over some problem on the ranch, and that they would soon be working without let up to resolve it.\u00a0 Now it was more difficult.\u00a0 Adam had been without sight for almost a month.\u00a0 Hoss still shied away from the awful word \u2018blind.\u2019\u00a0 He had learned to find his way around the house ably.\u00a0 He could dress himself \u2013 even comb his hair and shave \u2013 even if nicks were a lot more frequent.<\/p>\n

He still needed someone to stand by when he bathed.\u00a0 Getting in and out of the high-sided, deeply sloped iron tub was tricky especially if the stone floor was wet.\u00a0 Being clean was important to Adam, and Hoss was glad to help, but he could sense Adam\u2019s embarrassment and resentment of the need.\u00a0 Hoss stayed very quiet through the procedure simply guiding his brother in and out of the tub, adding hot water or providing soap or a towel as needed with no comment.\u00a0 Perhaps that was why Adam most often asked him to help.\u00a0 Joe tended to chatter like a jaybird when he drew bath duty.<\/p>\n

Something else must be bothering Adam this morning.\u00a0 Ben too could feel it and probed gently.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you are very quiet.\u00a0 Is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put down his fork with care.\u00a0 He could feed himself if someone described the location of each item carefully and cut his meat for him.\u00a0 He sometimes needed to touch the food lightly to keep it located in his mind.\u00a0 It was a slow process and clearly difficult for him.\u00a0 Hoss thought he had lost some weight despite Hop Sing\u2019s efforts.\u00a0 The little cook was making more rich cream soups that could be drunk from a mug, and many dishes were now served precut into convenient bite sized bits.<\/p>\n

Forcing down the urge to scream that being blind was the problem, Adam sighed softly and answered his father courteously.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s nothing, Pa; I just feel\u2026closed in.\u00a0 It takes me so long to do anything right, and progress seems so slow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unseen by Adam, his father frowned in worry, but his voice was warm and soothing.\u00a0 \u201cHave a little patience with yourself, son.\u00a0 You\u2019ve accomplished a great deal already.\u00a0 I understand that there are people who train the blind\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused to moderate his tone.\u00a0 \u201cNo, sir, I appreciate it, but I couldn\u2019t bear having some stranger lead me about all day.\u00a0 I have to do it on my own \u2013 with your help of course.\u201d\u00a0 He opened his hands to include the other three at the table.\u00a0 \u201cIs it too hard for you all?\u00a0 Am I asking too much?\u201d<\/p>\n

A chorus of no\u2019s was the immediate response.\u00a0 Ben reassured Adam at some length that he would do nothing without his full knowledge and consent, and that they would gladly provide any help he needed.<\/p>\n

The sight of Adam\u2019s constantly questing hands and empty eyes was a pain that Ben could scarcely endure.\u00a0 Every time his foot stumbled or he searched vainly for something in plain sight, he longed to hasten to him, steady him, protect him, lead him, and it would be the worst thing he could possibly do.<\/p>\n

Adam was his first born \u2013 the one with the tough, cool exterior and the smoldering, sensitive soul.\u00a0 He was the most intelligent if the truth were told; the one he had counted on to take over the ranch when he was no longer able to run it.\u00a0 It was destroying him to see Adam virtually housebound, abruptly cut off from all that his life had been, his many skills and talents wasted \u2013 deprived even of his life long delight in books.<\/p>\n

He was fighting so gallantly, so uncomplainingly to relearn even the simplest things, to regain some measure of independence, but the undisputable fact was that now he would always need help, some one close to guide and shield him from unseen dangers.\u00a0 What must it be like from Adam\u2019s side?\u00a0 Ben knew his son \u2013 his determination to do anything he attempted well, his \u2018cat who walks alone\u2019 nature.\u00a0 He was always taking on the hard jobs and refusing to ask for help with them.\u00a0 His reduced status must gall him every waking hour like an arrow in the flesh.\u00a0 Where were the flares of anger and resentment that would be only natural?\u00a0 Adam was proceeding in the most ordinary way possible.\u00a0 His temper was even, his sometimes-wicked tongue curbed in courtesy, his demeanor to his brothers exemplary.\u00a0 He even made jokes.\u00a0 Was he keeping it all inside?\u00a0 If so, the explosion when it came was likely to be awesome.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile there were changes they could make that would give Adam more freedom.\u00a0 First he would talk to him about remodeling the bathhouse so he could wash on his own.\u00a0 Then they would put in more ramps and railings about the place.<\/p>\n

It was soon time to begin the day\u2019s work.\u00a0 Each gave Adam a farewell word and touch and left him lingering over a last cup of coffee as they went out to saddle up.<\/p>\n

The horses were fully tacked, and Ben was issuing instructions for the day when Hoss broke a long silence and said suddenly, \u201cI don\u2019t feel right about Adam, Pa.\u00a0 I want to stay here and keep an eye on him for a while.\u00a0 You and Joe go ahead.\u00a0 I\u2019ll catch up with you later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at his middle son for a long moment.\u00a0 Hoss, gifted with both great strength and a great heart, had always been the easiest of his boys to handle.\u00a0 Kind, generous, readily embarrassed, eager to please he had been little trouble to Ben or to Adam for that matter.\u00a0 His link to his older brother was close and deep.\u00a0 Instead of fighting Adam\u2019s honestly earned tendency to take charge as Joe did, Hoss accepted it and supported Adam\u2019s decisions.\u00a0 This left him well positioned to mildly urge moderation when Adam pushed too hard.\u00a0 Adam respected Hoss\u2019s touch with both animals and people and often listened.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you think you should, son, go ahead,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like leaving him alone so much either, but he keeps shooing us out of the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss quickly unsaddled and headed back into the house.\u00a0 There was no sign of Adam in the living room and his place at the table was empty.\u00a0 It was unlike Adam to go back to bed once dressed, and he hadn\u2019t seemed ill.<\/p>\n

Hoss made his way into the kitchen to check with Hop Sing.\u00a0\u00a0 Their faithful and opinionated fifth family member was busy chopping vegetables for what smelled like a wonderful lamb stew.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Adam, Hop Sing?\u201d\u00a0 The excitable oriental swung around with the huge 10\u201d chopping knife in one fist.<\/p>\n

\u201cMistah Hoss!\u00a0 Not nice you sca\u2019h po\u2019 Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, buddy.\u00a0 I was looking for Adam.\u00a0 Have you seen him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMistah Adam take bucket; say he fetch watah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFetch water, from the pump?\u00a0 Has he done that before?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 He say like see he can.\u00a0 Not flah to pump.\u00a0 I let go.\u00a0 Tell him call Hop Sing if he need help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stepped to the back door and looked out.\u00a0 The pump stood staunchly where it always had, but there was no sign of Adam.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s not out here, Hop Sing.\u00a0 Did he come back with the water?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mistah Hoss.\u00a0 Funny, he go \u2018light aftah you eat.\u00a0 We go look!\u201d\u00a0 Hop Sing was becoming worried and excited.\u00a0 Some instinct warned Hoss not to raise a hue and cry for his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hop Sing.\u00a0 You wait here in case he comes back in or calls.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have a look outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss went down the two steps to the backyard and could see Adam\u2019s footprints in the morning dew that still spangled the grass.\u00a0 They started off for the pump, but with no guide he had pulled to the right and missed his goal.\u00a0 There was a trampled spot where he had circled probably feeling for the pump to no avail.\u00a0 Then his footsteps moved out again in a wavering line for the woods behind the house.\u00a0 Could he have gotten turned around and thought he was heading back toward the kitchen?\u00a0 Why hadn\u2019t he called Hop Sing?\u00a0 Too stubborn, too proud?<\/p>\n

Hoss continued to track his brother.\u00a0 He found the bucket dropped beside a tree just inside the woods.\u00a0 When Adam reached the trees he must have known he was headed wrong.\u00a0 Why had he gone on?\u00a0 Hoss followed a wandering track of scuffed pine needles, broken branches and one strip of black cloth apparently torn from his sleeve by a tree snag.\u00a0 Adam had managed to cover an amazing amount of ground.<\/p>\n

Hoss was about to start shouting for his brother when he was stopped short by a sound that sent a chill down his spine.\u00a0 It was a low keening of total despair.\u00a0 He had once heard an Indian death chant that carried the same eerie rising and falling note of unquenchable misery.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t tears or sobs, but a cry from the soul of ultimate loss.\u00a0 Moving very quietly Hoss approached the heart rending sound and peered into a clearing in the pines.\u00a0 Adam pressed his back against the trunk of a great tree, his face turned up to the sky, his throat vibrating with the terrible cry.\u00a0 Oddly Hoss\u2019s first thought was that Adam would ruin his voice \u2013 he loved hearing his brother sing in his rich, intimate baritone.\u00a0 He almost rushed forward to beg him to stop before he realized how much Adam would hate anyone knowing he had given this wild tongue to his suffering.<\/p>\n

Hoss stood unmoving; barely breathing, as the lonely, haunting lament slowly died away and Adam slumped against the tree.\u00a0 He backed away carefully until he was some distance from the clearing.\u00a0 Then he stomped forward shouting loudly for his missing brother.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s response of \u201cHere\u201d reached Hoss\u2019s ears as he approached the clearing calling, \u201cAdam!\u00a0 Adam where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss entered the clearing and stopped a few feet from where the dark clad form rested against the tree.\u00a0 \u201cDoggone it, Adam, what in the world are you doing out here?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing is worried to death!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRunning away from home?\u201d Adam offered tentatively.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooking to break a leg or worse!\u201d his brother corrected.<\/p>\n

After a moment of silence Adam held out both hands in the direction of his brother\u2019s voice.\u00a0 \u201cTouch me, Hoss, please.\u00a0 I need an anchor.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss moved quickly grasping Adam\u2019s elbows firmly in his big hands as Adam\u2019s fingers closed hard about his wrists.\u00a0 He steadied him willing reassurance and support across the bridge of their flesh.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m lost,\u201d Adam said with a mirthless laugh.\u00a0 \u201cLost \u2013 a hundred yards from my own back door in a patch of woods I\u2019ve known since I was a kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t lost Adam; I\u2019ve gottcha, and you\u2019re a lot more than a hundred yards out.\u00a0 More like a quarter of a mile.\u00a0 I almost didn\u2019t find you.\u00a0 Why partner?\u00a0 What were you trying to prove?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head slowly.\u00a0 \u201cI honestly don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I got so mad when I couldn\u2019t find the pump\u2026 and then when I ran into a tree instead of the side of the house as I expected.\u00a0 It all seemed so hopeless\u2026\u201d Adam\u2019s normally square-set shoulders sagged.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll run a rope from the back steps to the pump.\u00a0 Next time you can follow it with one hand.\u00a0 Are you ready to go home now?\u201d\u00a0 Adam nodded yes and Hoss placed his brother\u2019s hand firmly on his arm and turned them for home.\u00a0 When Adam stumbled heavily for the second time, Hoss stopped and put a supportive arm around his waist.\u00a0 \u201cYou must be plumb tuckered out, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss knew how draining it was to be lost in unfamiliar country.\u00a0 It had to be a hundred times worse to be blind to all landmarks and hazards or even the earth beneath your feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI could carry you,\u201d he said diffidently.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to be one of the luckiest men alive to have a brother like you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke with real sincerity.\u00a0 \u201cBless you, Hoss, but no.\u00a0 Just slow down a bit and I\u2019ll blunder on beside you.\u201d<\/p>\n

When they reached the ranch house, Adam insisted on collecting the bucket and with Hoss\u2019s hand to guide him, pumped the water and carried it back inside to be roundly scolded by Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

Adam was so clearly weary that Hoss persuaded him to go upstairs to his room for a short rest.\u00a0 Hoss pulled the good black boots off and spread a light blanket over him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat will you tell Pa?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0 It was simply a question, not a request that his brother lie for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, jes\u2019 that you needed to get out of the house, and we went for a long walk.\u00a0 Then you rested for a spell while I read to you.\u00a0 Will that do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClose enough, amigo.\u201d\u00a0 Adam relaxed onto his pillows.\u00a0 His smile was all the reward Hoss needed.<\/p>\n

Hoss set the boots carefully where Adam wanted them kept, thoughtfully selected a slim volume of Wordsworth\u2019s poems from the bookshelf and settled in the rocker by the window.\u00a0 When he opened the book and glanced again at the bed, his brother was deeply asleep.\u00a0 Hoss prepared to wait a while.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want Adam to wake and find himself alone in his darkness.\u00a0 Did he dream of light and seeing Hoss wondered?
\n**********
\n\u201cI miss him, Hoss,\u201d Joe said as they labored to cut and stack fence posts from a pile of seasoned timber.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do too.\u00a0 Nothing seems the same without him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a demanding, picky perfectionist who can make me furious with one glance, and glory be I miss him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got to remember, Joe, that he\u2019s worked this place since he was big enough to straddle a horse.\u00a0 He loves the ranch.\u00a0 Even when he went off to school he studied things to help make the place better.\u00a0 He knows how things should be done.\u00a0 It gets under his skin to see sloppy work, or the men lazin\u2019 about when there\u2019s so much needs doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe knew that.\u00a0 He knew too that Adam had half-raised him, cared for him, would protect him with his own life.\u00a0 Yet they were so different \u2013 almost always grabbing opposite ends of any stick.\u00a0 Nobody could irritate him like his oldest brother, and he often seemed to have the same effect on Adam.\u00a0 All of his resentment, his prickly demands not to be bossed, had melted like hoar frost in the hot sun the night Hoss brought Adam in from that cursed windmill.\u00a0 Joe had felt a pillar of his world crumble when the apple fell between Adam\u2019s reaching hands, when he stumbled groping into the table.<\/p>\n

He was at a loss as to what to say to comfort his brother; he knew that he would be inconsolable in the same circumstances.\u00a0 He could scarcely stand to watch him tentatively feel his way into a room he once had dominated by his mere presence.\u00a0 He could feel tears gather behind his eyes as he cut Adam\u2019s food at the table, and his long outgrown fear of the dark had reawakened.\u00a0 He could hardly force himself to turn out his lamp at night.\u00a0 He would lie there shuddering with the horror of never seeing light again.\u00a0 How did Adam endure it?\u00a0 What could he possible do to really help?<\/p>\n

\u201cI want him to see again!\u00a0 I want him here with us!\u00a0 I don\u2019t care anymore how hard he rides me.\u00a0 I want him back!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss paused to squeeze his little brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI know, buddy.\u00a0 I feel the same.\u00a0 Maybe someday it will happen.\u00a0 It\u2019s the first thing I ask every night in my prayers.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor now we got to help him keep his spirits up.\u00a0 He\u2019s tryin\u2019 awful hard to do everything he can on his own.\u00a0 You know Adam don\u2019t give up no matter how tough the goin\u2019 gits, but it wears him out, Joe.\u00a0 You can see that.\u00a0 Give him a hand when he wants it.\u00a0 Tell him what\u2019s happenin\u2019 here, in town, anywhere.\u00a0 Read to him \u2013 you can do that a lot betterin\u2019 me.\u00a0 Let him know you care.\u201d
\n**********
\nAdam found it difficult to fill his evenings.\u00a0 Once he would have read or played chess or checkers or strummed his guitar; now there was little he could do beyond sit or talk.\u00a0 He was desperately bored one soft evening in early summer when the open windows brought in the scent of the wild roses that climbed over the porch.\u00a0 Ben was at his desk busy answering correspondence, Joe was completely engrossed in a book and Hoss was mending a piece of harness.\u00a0 No one seemed interested in conversation.\u00a0 Too restless to remain seated Adam began to wander the room he now knew like the palm of his hand.<\/p>\n

He made one circuit and was beginning another when Joe slid down onto the end of his spine and extended his legs well out into the floor.\u00a0 Adam stumbled over them and swore.\u00a0 Joe caught his arm in time to save him from a fall.\u00a0 \u201cSorry Adam.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t thinking \u2013 too wrapped up in this book I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay Joe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m roaming around anyhow.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hands caressed the book with longing.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you reading?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s an old one of yours \u2013 don\u2019t know how I missed it before, but is sure is good \u2013 Poe\u2019s Tales.\u00a0 I\u2019m in the middle of the \u2018Pit and the Pendulum.\u00a0 Pretty darn scary!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed.\u00a0 \u201cI remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like me to read you some of it?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, we might try that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShall I start over?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I know the story.\u00a0 Just pick up where you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u00a0 You ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam felt his way into a chair near Joe.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe read with enthusiasm.\u00a0 \u201cA fearful idea now suddenly drove the blood in torrents upon my heart, and for a brief period I once more relapsed into insensibility.\u00a0 Upon recovering, I at once started to my feet, trembling convulsively in every fiber.\u00a0 I thrust my arms wildly above and around me in all directions.\u00a0 I felt nothing; yet dreaded to move a step, lest I should be impeded by the walls of a tomb.\u00a0 Perspiration burst from every pore, and stood in cold big beads upon my forehead.\u00a0 The agony of suspense grew at length intolerable, and I cautiously moved forward, with my arms extended, and my eyes straining from their sockets, in the hope of catching some faint ray of light.\u00a0 I proceeded for many paces; but still all was blackness and vacancy.\u00a0 I breathed more freely.\u00a0 It seemed evident that mine was not, at least\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam interrupted suddenly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joe.\u00a0 Thanks anyhow.\u00a0 Guess I\u2019m not in the mood for Poe tonight.\u00a0 You go on with it.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stood up slowly and began to wander about the room again.\u00a0 In time he settled beside Hoss on the sofa where his brother was busily repairing harness.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, trying to fix this here piece of harness.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss took Adam\u2019s hand and guided it over the break in the bridle.\u00a0 \u201cThe leather fastening the bit wore through.\u00a0 Now I\u2019ve got to shorten and patch both sides.\u00a0 See what I mean?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss spoke without realizing what he had asked and ordinarily Adam would have ignored it, but tonight the wound was very raw.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I can\u2019t see; just feel,\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

Hoss was shocked and hurt.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I \u2013 I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Instantly contrite, Adam tried to make amends.\u00a0 \u201cForgive me Hoss, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m about ready to jump out of my skin.\u201d\u00a0 Rising abruptly Adam paced through the room once more.<\/p>\n

Ben looked up from his work and called to his eldest.\u00a0 \u201cCome here a minute, Adam.\u00a0 Sit down with me.\u201d\u00a0 Ben pulled a chair close beside his and guided Adam into it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s bothering you tonight, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Seated at the desk Adam instinctively ran his hands across the shuffled pages of correspondence and touched the pen and inkstand his father had been using.\u00a0 His fist clenched and he seemed about to hammer it into the desk when he forced himself to relax.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need something to do, Pa before I go crazy.\u00a0 I used to do all this for you.\u201d\u00a0 He gestured at the papers covering the desk.\u00a0 I could do it if I were crippled, even deaf but not blind.\u00a0 I can\u2019t even write my own name.\u00a0 I used to ride out every day with Hoss and Joe to work the spread.\u00a0 Now I can\u2019t even ride.\u00a0 I used to carry my own weight around here.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m about as useful as a\u2026a fifth wheel.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need me.\u00a0 I\u2019m a hindrance!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was almost a shout.<\/p>\n

Jerked suddenly from the objects of their interest Hoss and Joe looked up concerned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute, Adam\u201d Ben told him.\u00a0 \u201cHold on here!\u00a0 You\u2019ve been pushing yourself hard the past few weeks, and you are at a fine edge.\u00a0 You\u2019ve done wonders, but you can\u2019t ask yourself for too much all at once.\u00a0 This takes time.\u00a0 I know how you must feel, but it\u2019s not that way.\u00a0 There\u2019s plenty for you to do; things that are <\/em>important.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em> Who composed that letter to the Governor last week, and who figured out a way to divert part of Silver Creek so that it would water 200 more head of cattle?\u00a0 Adam, we need you just as much as you need us right now.
\n\u201cThere\u2019s something else too.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t wanted to get your hopes up before, but it\u2019s possible that you might be able to learn to read again.\u00a0 I saw something in the papers that started me investigating, and I got an answer today.\u00a0 The New York Institute for the Education of the Blind teaches a system developed by a man named Wait; it\u2019s based on an alphabet of raised dots that you read by touch.\u00a0 Not everyone succeeds in learning it, but I think you might. If you\u2019d like to try, I\u2019ll make the arrangements about sending you there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had recovered his composure during his father\u2019s speech and answered thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d thought of something like that.\u00a0 I knew about the Frenchman, Louis Braille, and his system, and I will want to learn eventually, but not right now.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather stay here until I\u2019m a little surer of myself \u2013 even if I am ornery and hard to live with sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think your trouble is that you\u2019ve been cooped up in this house until you feel like a caged animal, and I\u2019ve got some ideas on what we can do about that too.\u00a0 Tomorrow we\u2019ll get started on \u2018em.\u00a0 As for right now \u2013 take this.\u201d\u00a0 Ben took Adam\u2019s guitar from its peg and placed it in his hands.\u00a0 \u201cYou haven\u2019t played for us since the accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2026I don\u2019t think I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, try.\u00a0 What have you got to lose?\u00a0 Trust you hands, and see if they don\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

Very tentatively Adam began to chord the instrument.\u00a0 After some experimentation he found he could tune it by ear and by feel.\u00a0 He picked a few notes and then a few more.\u00a0 Hesitantly he moved into the lovely \u2018Shenandoah.\u2019\u00a0 Gradually his playing became surer, and he began to sing softly with the music slowly building in volume until his beautiful baritone filled the room on \u2018Away, I\u2019m bound away, across the wide Missouri.\u2019<\/p>\n

Enthralled and delighted three heads turned to him; three faces were wreathed in tender smiles.\u00a0 He could feel the music capture them and, one by one, gestured them to join in, weaving their voices around his strong, true lead.\u00a0 The summer night was filled with music, and Adam\u2019s restless spirit knew an hour of peace.
\n**********
\nThe next day dawned clear and sunny, and the whole family was outside shortly after breakfast.\u00a0 A heavy mat had been spread on the grass behind the house and Hoss and Adam stood toe to toe upon it.\u00a0 Ben stood at the edge of the mat ready with instructions and advice while Little Joe, cross-legged on the lawn, comprised the cheering section.<\/p>\n

Both big men were stripped to pants and socks.\u00a0 Their bodies glistened with sweat and their chests heaved.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s eyes were closed and his head was slightly tilted to one side to better hear his brother\u2019s movements.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Ben said, \u201clet\u2019s try it again.\u00a0 When I say \u2018Ready,\u2019 put your hands on each other\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 Then at the signal \u2018Go\u2019 try for a grip and fall to it.\u00a0 Ready!\u201d\u00a0 Powerful hands gripped wide shoulders, and at the call of \u2018Go!\u2019 both tried for a quick grip.\u00a0 Hoss aimed to capture Adam\u2019s head, but he anticipated the move – ducked low, brought his brother to the mat with a powerful leg sweep and dropped at once on top of him.\u00a0 The match was clearly unequal.\u00a0 Hoss had the advantage of both weight and vision, but his fear of hurting Adam held him back.\u00a0 Adam had no such inhibitions.\u00a0 He was quick and tricky.\u00a0 As long as he could maintain contact and orientation, he was hard to subdue.<\/p>\n

Eventually Hoss immobilized him, and Adam struck the mat with his open hand in surrender.<\/p>\n

Both men were panting heavily as they untangled and Hoss helped a wickedly grinning Adam to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cDang it Adam,\u201d his brother complained, \u201cwrestlin\u2019 you could get to be riskier than braidin\u2019 a mule\u2019s tail.\u00a0 Did I hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis feels so good, Hoss, I don\u2019t much care if you break me in half.\u201d\u00a0 He turned toward Ben\u2019s position.\u00a0 \u201cHow did you know, Pa, how much I needed this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve always worked hard, son.\u00a0 You must use your strength to keep it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben knew that the rough physical contact done regularly would keep Adam\u2019s muscles strong, build confidence in his own ability and burn off excess energy.<\/p>\n

Little Joe had his own part to play in Adam\u2019s rehabilitation.\u00a0 Much as he wanted to help his brother he had been reluctant to aid him in rebuild this former skill.\u00a0 He argued with his father that it was more likely to put Adam into danger than to help him. Ben replied that Adam was unlikely to be alone when away from the ranch, and that it would make him feel less dependent.\u00a0 Joe finally agreed.<\/p>\n

They were outside.\u00a0 Adam was fully dressed and wore his gun belt. His left hand rested lightly on the edge of a small table that served to keep him properly centered.\u00a0 Joe stood off to the side and operated a pulley arrangement that moved a metal ring about three inches in diameter up, down or sideways against a backstop of soft pine.\u00a0 Each time he moved the ring it thumped sharply against the backstop.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet ready, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPull, Joe!\u201d\u00a0 Adam cocked his head slightly as his brother jerked the ring and let it drop. At the sound of the ring striking the target, Adam drew smoothly and fired.\u00a0 He had always been a good shot, both fast and accurate, although he had managed to avoid a reputation as a gunfighter, but this was instinct shooting with a difference.\u00a0 He had only sounds to guide him, but several days of practice were beginning to be rewarded.<\/p>\n

\u201cOff about four inches to the right.\u00a0 You\u2019re getting a little wild again.\u00a0 I think maybe we\u2019ve been at this long enough for today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce more, Joe\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe quickly moved the ring again and Adam fired.\u00a0 The bullet struck almost dead center within the metal ring.<\/p>\n

\u201cDead on; that was a good one.\u201d\u00a0 Joe moved quietly behind Adam, drew own gun, pointed it straight up and cocked the hammer.\u00a0 At the slight click Adam whirled on Joe with his gun leveled directly at his belly.\u00a0 Joe threw up his hands in mock surrender.
\n\u201cDon\u2019t shoot, big brother,\u201d he laughed.\u00a0 \u201cYou got the drop on me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam reached out and slapped Joe on the shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cWouldn\u2019t have done me much good.\u00a0 Gun\u2019s empty anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure.\u201d\u00a0 Adam released the cylinder and flipped it out shaking the empty cartridge cases onto the table.\u00a0 None retained a load.\u00a0 \u201cI keep a pretty strict count.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thumbing cartridges from his belt, Adam\u2019s hands fed them deftly into the cylinder.\u00a0 He dropped the big pistol into its holster and spoke quietly.\u00a0 \u201cYou know Joe, I\u2019m sure glad Pa thought of all this.\u00a0 It helps \u2013 it helps a lot.\u201d
\n**********
\nLittle Joe came in a half hour early some days later to find Adam in the kitchen pestering Hop Sing to let him try making coffee.\u00a0 Aware that if the excitable oriental became too upset dinner would be a chancy meal, he immediately offered to take his brother out for a little exercise.<\/p>\n

Tucking Adam\u2019s hand into the bend of his left elbow and walking half a step ahead, Joe led him out of the house and toward the corral.\u00a0 Reaching the fence safely they leaned there in companionable silence enjoying the late afternoon warmth.\u00a0 Presently Adam asked, \u201cIs Sport here?\u201d\u00a0 Assured that his mount was indeed in the corral, Adam whistled sharply.<\/p>\n

The big chestnut trotted over to his master and nuzzled his face.\u00a0 Adam pulled an apple from his jacket pocket and twisted it in half, offering it on his open palm.\u00a0 Sport lipped it up like a gentleman and stood quietly as Adam stroked his face and fondled his ears murmuring to him softly.\u00a0 In the pasture beyond, Joe\u2019s horse Cochise romped playfully closely followed by a young mare.<\/p>\n

Ben came out of the barn and walked over to join them as Joe watched his brother commune with his favorite mount.\u00a0 Hoss rode into the ranch yard some moments later.\u00a0 He was astride a big troublesome bay horse that fought him every inch of the way constantly threatening to buck.\u00a0 Noticing his family at the corral, Hoss forced the contrary animal in their direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on Adam; git up behind me on this devil.\u00a0 Maybe the two of us can take some of the starch out of him.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss caught Adam\u2019s arm and swung him on board.\u00a0 Under the double weight the big animal settled, and they cantered away.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to his father at once.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I can\u2019t stand it.\u00a0 He comes out here every chance he gets to see that fool horse of his.\u00a0 He wants to ride with us so bad he can taste it.\u00a0 None of the critters can carry us double for very far, and he just plain refuses to ride a led horse \u2013 not that I blame him.\u00a0 It\u2019s no fun.\u00a0 I tried Sport the other night to see if there was anything we could do.\u00a0 That animal was a handful before, but now that he hasn\u2019t been ridden for a while, I\u2019m afraid he would get Adam killed.\u00a0 If we only had some\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe had been watching Cochise and the mare that continued to follow him as he spoke.\u00a0 Suddenly an idea surfaced.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Little Squaw!\u201d\u00a0 His voice rang with excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Squaw?\u00a0 You mean that crazy filly out there tagging around after Cochise \u2013 what about her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just it.\u00a0 She\u2019ll follow Cochise anywhere.\u00a0 I practically have to lock her up to get away from the ranch.\u00a0 Hoss and I could work with her \u2013 you know, be sure she was well broke and steady \u2013 then Adam could ride with me.\u00a0 I\u2019d be right there if anything happened, and he could get out and away from the house.\u00a0 Maybe he wouldn\u2019t feel quite so trapped.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked pleased.\u00a0 \u201cI believe that might work, Joe; it just might.\u00a0 It would certainly be a godsend to Adam if it did.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s enthusiasm bubbled out.\u00a0 \u201cWait till I tell Hoss!\u00a0 Don\u2019t say anything, Pa.\u00a0 We\u2019ll surprise Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam rode back soon afterward.\u00a0 The bay horse was considerably subdued, and Hoss was able to let Adam off at the porch.\u00a0 Adam stood listening for a minute as Hoss rode off toward the barn and then turned to find his way into the house.<\/p>\n

Some days later Hoss and Joe burst into the living room to find Adam at the table cleaning a rifle he had managed to disassemble by touch.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam, come on out here.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got something for you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam could hear the laughter in his brother\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss added.\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re gonna like this.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss took Adam on his arm and marched him quickly out to the hitching rack.\u00a0 Cochise and Little Squaw were tied there fully saddled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s all this secrecy?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0 \u201cWhere are you taking me?\u201d\u00a0 As they stopped at the hitching rail, Joe handed Little Squaw\u2019s reins to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis here\u2019s your new horse.\u00a0 Meet Little Squaw.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam ran his hands over the animal\u2019s neck and shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Squaw?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that the filly that was so crazy about Cochise?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir, and she still is,\u201d Hoss replied.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019ll follow him around like a chick after a hen, and she\u2019s steady as a rock.\u00a0 All you got to do is set on her, and you can go anywhere Joe and Cochise do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure she\u2019s strong enough to carry me on a long ride?\u201d\u00a0 Adam had no wish to break down a young animal.<\/p>\n

Joe was suddenly hesitant.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s not Sport, Adam, but she\u2019s strong with a lot of bottom, and you can ride her on your own.\u00a0 That is if \u2026if you want to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Deeply touched by his brothers\u2019 gift, Adam sought for words.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Joe\u2026I\u2026Well, what are we waiting for; let\u2019s try her out!\u201d\u00a0 Adam groped a minute for the stirrup but couldn\u2019t find it.\u00a0 Exasperated he caught the horn and with a lithe spring threw himself into the saddle.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s shouted \u201cYee Haw!\u201d was heartwarming.<\/p>\n

Little Joe reined Cochise away from the hitching rail and Little Squaw set off after them with a smooth gait.\u00a0 They circled the yard twice as Adam got the feel of her.\u00a0 Then he deliberately neck reined her away from Cochise.\u00a0 She obeyed readily, but as soon as Adam released the pressure, she swung around and started after Cochise.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right behind me.\u00a0 Just trust her if you can.\u00a0 This is going to work out fine!\u201d<\/p>\n

They rode for about a mile before Adam called to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHold up a minute here.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ve got to adjust a stirrup.\u201d\u00a0 They drew rein, and Adam stepped down from the saddle.\u00a0 His foot alit in a cluster of loose pebbles; they rolled under him; his ankle turned and he fell.\u00a0 Little Squaw sidled quickly away unwilling to step on a squishy human.\u00a0 Joe was instantly beside his brother with his hands under his arms straining to lift him.<\/p>\n

Adam gently detached Joe\u2019s hands.\u00a0 \u201cThanks Joe, but let me get up on my own.\u00a0 Nothing hurt but my dignity.\u201d\u00a0 Feeling the ground around him carefully, Adam planted his feet and pushed up catching his balance with a quick step.\u00a0 Joe put a hand on his arm to center him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, how do you stand it?\u201d\u00a0 The question rang with Joe\u2019s distress.\u00a0 \u201cHow can you just go on falling and getting up and trying again, talkin\u2019 about everyday things, being concerned with our troubles?\u00a0 How can you care about anything except what\u2019s happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you have me do Joe \u2013 beat my head on the wall and curse the fates, throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum, quit entirely and let you all wait on me like an invalid?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026no, course not.\u00a0 It\u2019s just\u2026I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I hurt so much for you.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry for all the times I was mean and contrary just to rile you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam chuckled softly.\u00a0 \u201cCome closer, kid, so I can give you a good swat in the rump.\u00a0 This is startin\u2019 to sound like a eulogy.\u00a0 I\u2019m not dead yet.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have plenty more chances to give me a hard time.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to back out of life just because I can\u2019t see.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get around without falling.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to learn to read with my hands.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to keep up with what\u2019s going on here on the ranch and have my say about what happens in the future.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will not give up!\u00a0 If you want to do something for me, Joe, don\u2019t show me your pity.\u00a0 Dare me, push me, challenge me, help me be strong!\u00a0 I want to be the same burr under your saddle I\u2019ve always been.\u00a0 Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026Adam\u2026I\u2019ll remember \u2013 anything, anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened his arms and Joe stepped into them to be hugged roughly and receive a playful cuff on the head.\u00a0 \u201cNow, have you let those horses wander away, short shanks?\u201d Adam queried.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t intend to walk home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe quickly gathered their placidly grazing mounts, adjusted Adam\u2019s stirrup and held Little Squaw as he mounted.\u00a0 When his brother was secure in the saddle, Joe quickly swung astride and spun Cochise around.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Adam, I\u2019ll race you home.\u201d\u00a0 He touched his spurs to the big paint and was rewarded with a solid gallop.\u00a0 Within seconds he heard the sound of hoof beats in hot pursuit.\u00a0 He looked back to see Adam leaning forward in the saddle urging Little Squaw into a run.<\/p>\n

She might be a mare unaccountably stuck on Joe\u2019s pinto, but it was a horse he could ride and a gift of immense value.\u00a0 It was wonderful to get away from the house and into the mountains and pastures of his home. He went out with them often though rarely for the whole day.\u00a0 He found the constant strain of trying to picture his surroundings and maintain his orientation tiring, and too much time over rough ground left his head pounding although he rarely mentioned it.
\n**********
\nIt had been a full day.\u00a0 It began shortly after dawn with a hard fought workout with Hoss.\u00a0 Following breakfast, he went with Joe on a long ride out to check on the Silver Springs herd.\u00a0 Then there was shooting practice and a session on the books with his father.\u00a0 Adam was tired, and his head ached dully.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee me up, Hoss?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t feel like counting steps tonight.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing.\u201d\u00a0 Adam seemed less reluctant to ask for occasional help now that he had proved he could do it on his own, and he most often turned to Hoss.\u00a0 Adam trusted his brother\u2019s kind intentions without reserve.\u00a0\u00a0 Placing Adam\u2019s hand under his arm he headed for the stairway.\u00a0 \u201cSteps,\u201d he said when they arrived at the first one, and they went up smoothly.<\/p>\n

Pausing outside Adam\u2019s door Hoss half turned to face him and asked, \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUhm?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you really doing \u2013 inside I mean?\u00a0 You don\u2019t say much, and I can only guess how hard all of this must be for you.\u00a0 Dadgumit, if I\u2019d of had any idea I would have dynamited that damned windmill before I let you climb up on it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed lightly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d have helped you light the fuse.\u201d\u00a0 His expression changed, and he spoke seriously.\u00a0 \u201cAt least you\u2019re not afraid to ask me.\u00a0 There are times, Hoss, when I want to give up.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was deep and soft.\u00a0 \u201cJust stick my gun barrel in my mouth and be done with the struggle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grunted as if he had been struck and drew back horrified.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, Adam!\u00a0 NO!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, well that\u2019s why I won\u2019t be doing it.\u00a0 I may be a nuisance blundering around the place, but, at least, the family won\u2019t be burdened with a load of pointless guilt.\u201d\u00a0 He drew a deep breath, and Hoss gave the hand that still rested on his guiding arm a consoling pat.\u00a0 \u201cA lot of things are very hard, Hoss.\u00a0 I desperately miss being able to read and write and draw plans.\u00a0 I miss sunrises and sunsets and all the color and beauty of the world around us.\u00a0 Most of all I miss being an active part of everything that goes on here on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 There are times when I think I\u2019ll run mad from sheer boredom.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I know that there are no guarantees in life.\u00a0 You take it as it comes and do the best you can with it.\u00a0 Strange as it sounds, I have worked harder since I lost my sight than every before in my life.\u00a0 I think I am finally beginning to find my way through this perpetual night.\u00a0 All the things you and Pa and Little Joe have done for me help tremendously.\u00a0 You can\u2019t know how grateful I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam said no more and, judging him to be finished, Hoss pushed open the door of his room into total blackness.\u00a0 \u201cWant me to light your lamp?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m always glad of your company, Hoss,\u201d his brother told him.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019d like to come in and visit for a while, fine; otherwise\u2026\u201d Adam shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw Adam, I\u2019m sorry\u2026\u201d Hoss began.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait,\u201d Adam broke in swiftly.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t apologize.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have I jumped down your neck the other night about the harness.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid I was feeling sorry for myself, and that\u2019s not a good idea.\u00a0 You\u2019re not walking on eggs here.\u00a0 Shut up inside this shambling, groping shell is the same old Adam you\u2019ve known all your life.\u00a0\u00a0 You should be able to speak to me as you always have and not be forced to think twice about every word before it slides off your tongue.\u00a0 Say what you want, Hoss.\u00a0 I understand, believe me.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took Hoss a minute to get his next words past the lump in his throat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll remember, Adam.\u00a0 So to be plain you look a little peaked tonight.\u00a0 I think you need sleep more\u2019n you do conversation. Unless I can help you with something else, I\u2019ll let you get to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 See you in the morning.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stepped confidently into the darkness as Hoss closed the door.
\n**********
\nJoe came in quietly.\u00a0 It had been a horror of a day and he was weary.\u00a0 As he wrapped his gun belt and placed it on the table, he noticed Adam across the room in his favorite blue velvet covered chair by the fireplace.\u00a0 His hands held some sort of leatherwork.<\/p>\n

\u201cEvening, Joe,\u201d his brother said pleasantly as the youngest Cartwright walked over to join him.\u00a0 \u201cTough day, huh?\u00a0 Cows stuck in that sump out in the Twin Forks pasture again I\u2019ll bet.\u00a0 How many this time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFour of them.\u00a0 How do you do that, Adam?\u201d Joe asked in wonderment.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face lighted with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cI ought to keep you guessing, but since I\u2019m warm, dry and well-rested in contrast to some around here, I\u2019ll tell you. \u201c<\/p>\n

Joe looked down at his own filthy, wet and smelly condition and grimaced.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know your step little brother, and since it\u2019s draggin\u2019 instead of bouncing, it\u2019s a good guess you\u2019re tired, and the smell of that pond scum all over you is unmistakable.\u00a0 Better get washed up and changed before Pa comes down for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n

It all sounded so simple when Adam explained it.<\/p>\n

Joe saw that Adam was braiding another set of reins.\u00a0 He marveled as he watched Adam\u2019s powerful, long-fingered hands work independent of any visual guidance. He plaited the slim, soft strands of fine-grained leather into an intricate braid that produced a superb set of reins.\u00a0 They were flat, strong, supple, delightful feeling in the hand and practically indestructible.\u00a0 Joe tried it once with his eyes shut and ended with a tangled mess.\u00a0 Adam had always been clever with that sort of thing, but found very little time for it before\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 Joe\u2019s mind winced away from the memory of that awful first night.<\/p>\n

Friends who saw the set of reins that Adam made as a gift for Joe immediately begged to commission something similar for their own use.\u00a0 Adam was reluctant to accept money for the work at first, and made several sets as presents for Hoss, Ben and family friends.\u00a0 As the demand grew, Joe finally convinced him to charge $20.00 a set if only for pocket money although, as Adam remarked, he had little use for it now.<\/p>\n

Damn!<\/em> Joe thought.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get him out more.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to take him to town this weekend or die in the attempt<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 Lost in his thoughts Joe was startled when Adam spoke again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u00a0 Wash up \u2013 supper.\u00a0 I don\u2019t recommend standing there dripping on the rug.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, sure Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m going right now.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started for his room.<\/p>\n

Joe talked long and fast, but when Hoss backed him in the argument and Ben offered encouragement they finally convinced Adam to accompany them to town the following Friday.<\/p>\n

It was late afternoon when the three Cartwrights rode into Virginia City and up to the Bucket of Blood saloon.\u00a0 They dismounted, and Adam found the hitching rack and tied Little Squaw then ducked under the rail and stood on the other side.\u00a0 Hoss and Joe walked ahead \u2013 their minds fixed on cold beer.\u00a0 As their steps resounded on the boardwalk, Adam called after them.\u00a0 \u201cHey, aren\u2019t you forgetting something?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe spun around at once and realized their brother was stranded.\u00a0 They rejoined him and linked arms with Adam in the middle before starting again for the saloon.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Adam,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0 \u201cYou manage so well at home guess we forgot you were on strange ground.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I suppose that\u2019s enough of a backhanded compliment that I\u2019ll forgive you this time.\u201d<\/p>\n

As they strode along three abreast it was almost impossible to tell that Adam was blind.\u00a0 He always made the effort to keep his head up, to step out boldly and to direct his eyes with his attention.\u00a0 They entered the saloon and took a table.\u00a0 At a signal the bartender brought over three beers.<\/p>\n

Word of Adam\u2019s injury had filtered through the town as the summer progressed and that knowledge engendered pain and regret in many, young and old.\u00a0 Adam had friends he didn\u2019t even suspect among the citizenry.\u00a0 The barkeep spoke to him now.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, how are you?\u00a0 I\u2019m proud to see you getting out again, and if you need anything just holler.\u00a0 First drink is on the house.\u00a0 Oh, it\u2019s me \u2013 Cosmo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Cosmo.\u00a0 I recognize your voice.\u00a0 Thanks for the beer and your good wishes.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing pretty well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is everybody?\u201d Joe asked.\u00a0 \u201cTown\u2019s practically deserted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t you hear?\u00a0 Big weekend doings over at Gold Hill.\u00a0 The town\u2019s throwing an all day barbecue with horse racing, turkey shoots and I don\u2019t know what all.\u00a0 Half of Virginia City\u2019s headed over there \u2013 quiet as the grave around here.\u201d\u00a0 The man returned to his station shaking his head over the lost of custom.<\/p>\n

Hoss took a long pull at his glass all but draining it in one gulp.\u00a0 \u201cMan!\u00a0 That tastes mighty fine.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a long, dry summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa is worried about that stand of timber back over on Thunder Mountain,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0 \u201cOne spark and \u2013 poof!\u201d<\/p>\n

They ordered another round and drank it quietly.\u00a0 Adam listened closely to the limited activity in the saloon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got them papers for the bank, Adam?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0 \u201cReckon we ought to get on over there before they close.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u00a0 Oh, yes Hoss; got \u2018em right here. I didn\u2019t realize it was getting so late.\u201d<\/p>\n

A rough-cut older man in the dust and sweat stained clothes of a drover had been watching them from his place at the bar.\u00a0 He stalked over just as they were about to leave for the bank.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re the Cartwright boys, ain\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe chose to answer.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, do we know you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou pushed a herd of cattle across the river and into Sedalia ahead of me a couple of years back.\u00a0 Broke the market and durn near wiped me out.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been keepin\u2019 my eye open for you ever since.<\/p>\n

Adam turned in his chair to face the intruder.\u00a0 \u201cI remember that.\u00a0 You\u2019d been hanging around outside of town for a week grazing over the whole area trying to get another pound on those beeves before you sold them. We had to go on through or let our herd starve behind yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you ought to remember \u2013 you were the ring leader.\u201d\u00a0 His tone was harsh and insulting.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou had your chance and muffed it.\u00a0 What do you plan to do about it now.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s voice rang with a challenge.<\/p>\n

\u201cI might just take it out of your hide.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam surged to his feet, back hard against the table.\u00a0 A fierce rage against his fate had grown in him over the months since his accident.\u00a0 Determined not to unleash it on his family and unwilling to go out and scream the barn down around his ears, he simply endured the relentless pressure.\u00a0 Here at last was a being upon who he could vent it.\u00a0 Not safely to be sure, but he truly didn\u2019t give a damn.\u00a0 He was spoiling for a fight.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome to try.\u201d\u00a0 His brothers had seen that savage snarl contort Adam\u2019s features a few times before in their lives and knew that it meant serious trouble. They stood up and moved closer to Adam.<\/p>\n

Cosmo hurried over from the bar and pulled the drover aside.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re doing Wagoner.\u00a0 Adam Cartwright is blind.\u00a0 His brothers will kill you if you touch him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wagoner\u2019s answer was loud enough for the whole saloon to hear.\u00a0 \u201cNo blind man\u2019s got any business wearing a gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

All control burned away; Adam was furious.\u00a0 He dropped into a half crouch and followed Wagoner\u2019s movements by sound.\u00a0 \u201cI may be blind, but I\u2019m not deaf!\u00a0 Go ahead and draw if you feel like it!\u201d\u00a0 His words carried the deadly promise of a rattlesnake\u2019s buzz.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay out of this, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

In spite of his blindness, Adam looked incredibly dangerous \u2013 a cougar cornered with teeth bared and fighting spirit unquenched.<\/p>\n

Wagoner sensed that he had wandered into a quarrel where no quarter would be given and heard the angry mutters of the others present, who were rising in Adam\u2019s defense.\u00a0 The eyes of a slender, dark-haired saloon girl at the bar were fixed on Adam.\u00a0 They were wide with fear for him.<\/p>\n

Wagoner knew when it was time to draw in his horns.\u00a0 \u201cOh hell, Cartwright, it was all over two years ago. Why fight about it now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat entirely up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want trouble \u2013 forget it \u2013 I was out of line.\u201d\u00a0 He slowly backed away from Adam and returned to the bar.<\/p>\n

As his footsteps retreated, Adam breathed a deep sigh and eased his hand away from his holster.\u00a0 \u201cKeep an eye on him Joe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be shot in the back.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hand found his vacant chair, and he sat down.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe resumed their seats and simply stared at their brother in silence.\u00a0 In their hearts they were proud of him.\u00a0 It was impossible not to admire plain, raw, crazy courage.\u00a0 On the other hand, they weren\u2019t about to show him their true feelings.\u00a0 Hoss drew a deep breath and lit in.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, are you plumb loco?\u00a0 He might have killed you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s not worth living if the price is to let every bully boy you meet walk on you.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was still rough with anger.\u00a0 \u201cI had to prove that I\u2019m willing to stand up for myself.\u00a0 You two aren\u2019t always going to be around to fight my battles for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss conceded.\u00a0 \u201cI see what you mean, Adam, but you shore had me scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on,\u201d Joe insisted.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get over to the bank and get that business taken care of before our crazy brother picks another fight.\u201d\u00a0 Linking arms once more they left the saloon as they had arrived.<\/p>\n

Exiting the bank with their business concluded they paused for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s that,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0 \u201cDo we head for home now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the rush?\u2019 Adam asked.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019s not expecting us back early.\u00a0 Let\u2019s stay and have supper in town and relax for a while.\u00a0 I\u2019ll treat.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a pocket full of gold pieces from all those braided reins Joe\u2019s been selling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMan, that is fine by me.\u00a0 I shore could eat.\u00a0 All that fancy talk in the bank always makes me hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe cackled.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, anything makes you hungry, but I\u2019m in no hurry to get back to work.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

The three men returned to the Bucket of Blood and secured a table near the kitchen.\u00a0 Soon their waiter was clearing the remains of a hearty meal, and they sat well filled and contented.\u00a0 As usual, Little Joe began to get ideas.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh say, if you fellows are just going to hang around here for a while, I ah \u2013 I thought I might slip over to see Linda \u2013 only for a few minutes to say hello.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam chuckled softly.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, we know, Joe.\u00a0 Those \u2018hellos\u2019 of yours are almost as long as your \u2018goodbyes,\u2019 but you better watch out for her Paw; I hear he\u2019s a pretty fair hand with a shotgun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, Adam, you know Linda\u2019s Paw and I are the best of friends, besides, tonight\u2019s his night to play checkers with old Charlie Bass.\u00a0 Once they get started dynamite wouldn\u2019t faze \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grinned warmly at Joe and then turned to his middle brother.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about you Hoss?\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you been sparking that new girl that works at the store?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Susan?\u00a0 She\u2019s a real nice little lady, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure she is.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t you like to see her for a while tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse I would, but I can\u2019t leave you here alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh get on with the two of you.\u00a0 I\u2019m not about to run off.\u00a0 I know most of the few people here, and I will be fine for a while.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to hold my hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I trust you alone after that fight this afternoon,\u201d Hoss stated.<\/p>\n

Adam laughed deep in his throat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll behave myself \u2013 that\u2019s a promise.\u00a0 Take yourselves on; you\u2019re keeping your ladies waiting.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe left with no more than a hasty wave.\u00a0 Hoss lingered.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, are you sure?\u00a0 If you\u2019re tired, I\u2019ll trade horses with Joe and take you on home.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss sensed that the strain of coping with his blindness sometimes drained his brother\u2019s strength to the dregs.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure.\u00a0 It\u2019s been quite an invigorating day so far.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t stay too late, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss collected his hat and left.<\/p>\n

Adam sat peacefully for some time listening to the sounds of the almost empty saloon and nursing an after dinner brandy.\u00a0 He tried again to recall the faces of his family.\u00a0 More and more their features were fading from his mind, as they became a collection of sounds and scents.<\/p>\n

His father\u2019s long, firm stride and deep voice coupled to the odor of good pipe tobacco, oiled leather and fine linen defined his mature, confident personality.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s step was surprisingly light, and the warm musk of the animals he loved almost overlay his personal odor of a happy, milk fed child.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s bouncy gait was impossible to miss as was his higher pitched voice, and the smell of hair pomade and fancy toiletries.\u00a0 He exuded a sort of high-energy heat as well.<\/p>\n

Colors too were fading into the general blackness.\u00a0 He could still visualize the vivid reds and yellows, but the muted browns and tans and pastel shades were dissolving into thin shadows.\u00a0 How much more will I lose of the things that I have always valued<\/em>, he wondered.<\/p>\n

As time passed he became restless and tense.\u00a0 He pulled out the new pocket watch his father had given him.\u00a0 The cover hinged open to expose the hands and raised numerals.\u00a0 With a delicate touch, Adam could read the time from the face.\u00a0 A little after nine.\u00a0 He snapped it closed and returned it to his watch pocket.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t move about the saloon as he did at home and there was little to hold his interest.\u00a0 The small, dark-haired girl who had watched the near fight with such horror approached his table and slipped quietly into the seat beside him.\u00a0 She placed her hands very lightly over his clenched fists.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re Adam Cartwright aren\u2019t you?<\/p>\n

Adam was instantly on his guard.\u00a0 \u201cThat right.\u00a0 Who are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy name\u2019s Sherry.\u00a0 I started work here a few weeks ago \u2013 came up from Sacramento.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid you\u2019ve picked the wrong customer, my dear,\u201d Adam told her.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t drink with you; alcohol and blindness don\u2019t mix well.\u00a0 I need the senses I have left too badly.\u00a0 Unless of course we both have cold tea,\u201d he added.\u00a0 There was no reek of alcohol on her, and he knew that saloon girls were often served cold tea instead of the whiskey for which their escort was charged.\u00a0 Someone to talk to would be welcome.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not why I came over.\u00a0 Business is slow tonight, and I\u2019m free to do as I please.\u00a0 I thought you might like to talk awhile.\u00a0 I saw you this afternoon with Wagoner.\u00a0 That was very brave.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave a wry snort.\u00a0 \u201cFoolhardy would be more like it.\u00a0 It scares me now when I think about it.\u00a0 You know, I haven\u2019t been\u2026this way very long, and sometimes it seems like I slip a cog somewhere and have to do something \u2013 anything to break through this\u2026this wall of darkness.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u00a0 What takes real courage are the other things \u2013 to let them leave you alone in a strange place, to make the all day, everyday struggle to find your way in a world that is suddenly only sound and feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Something about her gentle voice and clean, light scent warmed Adam, and he opened too her as he rarely did.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not so bad now.\u00a0 I\u2019m beginning to get used to it.\u00a0 When it first happened I thought it was the end of everything.\u00a0 I just wanted to go to bed and stay there.\u00a0 I think the hardest thing I ever did was getting up that first morning and dressing and finding my way downstairs.\u00a0 Since then \u2013 well, it gets easer as time passes.\u00a0 It even has its compensations.\u00a0 I find that sometimes you can discover the heart of a matter more truly when you\u2019re not aware of its outward aspects.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam realized that he had run on at some length.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Sherry, I can\u2019t even talk to my own family like this, and here I am boring you with it.\u00a0 Why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes it\u2019s easier to talk to a stranger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, that\u2019s not quite it.\u00a0 It\u2019s\u2026it\u2019s that my blindness doesn\u2019t seem to bother you.\u00a0 It bothers Pa and my brothers.\u00a0 It bothers them a lot \u2013 though they\u2019d choke before they\u2019d admit it.\u00a0 They are constantly afraid of doing or saying something that will hurt me.\u00a0 To you the fact that I can\u2019t see doesn\u2019t appear to make that much difference.\u00a0 Why not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps it\u2019s because I\u2019ve have more experience than they and can understand a little better.\u00a0 Be patient with them; they\u2019ll learn in time.\u00a0 You see my little brother was blind \u2013 from birth.\u00a0 I loved him very much, and he depended on me a great deal.\u00a0 Maybe too much, actually.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is he now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGone.\u201d\u00a0 There was a lingering sadness in her voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhen our parents died, I went to work so that Jeff wouldn\u2019t have to go to an institution.\u00a0 One night a drunken trail hand followed me home.\u00a0 Jeff was foolish enough to try and fight him.\u00a0 He was knocked down \u2013 struck his head.\u201d\u00a0 She paused to collect herself.\u00a0 \u201cPerhaps that was why I was so frightened this afternoon when it seemed you were going to fight Wagoner.\u00a0 Although I think now that you would have done much better than poor Jeff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had a lot of help he didn\u2019t \u2013 including my brothers to wrestle with me and to teach me how to shoot at a sound and hit it.\u00a0 Then too I have all the memories from many years of sight.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry about your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a long time ago now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Conversation seemed unnecessary for a time, and then Adam asked, \u201cSherry, since you know what it\u2019s like, maybe you wouldn\u2019t mind if I\u2026I looked at you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherry laughed merrily and caught up Adam\u2019s hands guiding them to her face.\u00a0 \u201cOf course not.\u2019<\/p>\n

As Adam ran his fingertips gently over her features, she looked at the man beside her at the table and thought again how handsome he was.\u00a0 He topped her slender height by almost a foot.\u00a0 His shoulders were wide and his chest deep and powerful. The fine shirt of cream linen was opened enough to reveal a swirl of dark chest hair.\u00a0\u00a0 A slender, supple waist and narrow hips led into long, straight legs accented by the black trousers and boots he wore.\u00a0\u00a0 A black steer hide vest completed his outfit.<\/p>\n

But it was the face that drew her.\u00a0 Black waves framed strong yet sensitive features.\u00a0 His chin was firm, his nose straight and his long teeth gleamed whitely within a full mouth that seemed created for kisses.\u00a0 Deep dimples framed it when he smiled.\u00a0 His eyes under dark and rugged brows were a rich hazel and must have glowed with life before he lost his vision.\u00a0 When he closed them, as he often did, veins painted the lids a faint blue and thick, sooty lashes rested on his glowing, bronze skin.\u00a0 It was a face to rival Michelangelo\u2019s David.\u00a0 She doubted that he was even aware of his intense masculine beauty.<\/p>\n

In time he spoke and the deep, rich chocolate of his tones ran chills down her spine.\u00a0 \u201cMy hands tell me that you are slender with good bones, almond eyes, a small nose and a high forehead.\u00a0 You hair is very soft and clean.\u00a0 Is it dark?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that\u2019s very good.\u201d
\n**********
\nJoe was ensconced in Linda Olsen\u2019s parlor on a hard, horsehair sofa.\u00a0 He had been trying for some time to wheedle a kiss from the stubborn beauty.<\/p>\n

\u201cLinda, honey, you\u2019ve got the prettiest hair.\u00a0 It\u2019s so long and blonde \u2013 just like silk.\u201d\u00a0 Joe slipped his arm around her and stroked her hair.\u00a0 Linda swung around sharply slapping Joe in the face with her long hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph Cartwright, you stop that right now.\u00a0 I know about your sweet talking ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow Linda, you shouldn\u2019t believe what those other girls tell you.\u00a0 They\u2019re downright jealous cause you\u2019re so much prettier than they are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gradually softening Linda leaned toward Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI declare, Little Joe, you just plain know how to melt a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Joe leaned closer to claim his kiss the parlor clock struck eleven, and Joe had a sudden vision of Adam sitting alone and completely forsaken at the table in the saloon.\u00a0 It brought him to his feet in shock.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u00a0 Linda, my brother, listen \u2013 I\u2019ve got to go!\u00a0 Oh Lord!\u00a0 Goodbye honey; see you later.\u201d\u00a0 Plopping a quick kiss on her forehead, Joe ran from the house and sprinted toward the saloon.<\/p>\n

Linda stamped her foot in anger and shouted at his fleeing back, \u201cYou\u2019ll never see me again, Joe Cartwright, if I have my choice!\u201d<\/p>\n

At about the same time Hoss and Susan were sitting under a tree on a hilltop looking at the stars.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a beautiful night, Hoss, and I\u2019d love to stay on, but I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s getting late, and I have to open the store in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

A clock somewhere in town struck eleven, and Hoss experienced the same picture of Adam that had overwhelmed Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re right Miss Susan.\u00a0 We have to go.\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam; I left him alone hours ago.\u00a0 Come on I\u2019ll see you home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry; let\u2019s hurry.\u201d\u00a0 They started off down the hill with Hoss pulling Susan along at a speedy clip.<\/p>\n

Ten minutes later Hoss and Little Joe almost collided outside the saloon.\u00a0 They looked at one another in horror and then stepped inside.\u00a0 They saw at once that the table where they left Adam was vacant.\u00a0 Looking frantically around the nearly deserted saloon they saw their brother at a table in the back with the professional gambler who worked the Bucket of Blood.<\/p>\n

Adam was quite at his ease.\u00a0 His whole attitude was more relaxed and normal than they had seen him in months.\u00a0 Sherry was curled comfortably on Adam\u2019s lap her head resting on his shoulder.\u00a0 As Hoss and Joe crept nearer they could see there was considerable money on the table \u2013 most of it in front of Adam.<\/p>\n

His brothers approached the table on tiptoe in time to observe the play of the next hand.\u00a0 The game was five-card draw.\u00a0 The gambler dealt one hand in front of Adam and another for himself.\u00a0 \u201cYou ready, Adam?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnte five.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherry took a five-dollar bill from the money in front of Adam and placed it in the pot.\u00a0 The dealer matched it.\u00a0 Sherry then took up Adam\u2019s cards and looked at them.\u00a0 Putting her lips to his ear and nipping him very softly on the earlobe she whispered, \u201cJack of clubs, Jack of diamonds and seven, eight and nine of clubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

The gambler, who went by the name of Frank Faro, inched his cards open and read them.\u00a0\u00a0 There were three fours, an ace of spades and a queen of hearts.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you open?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll open for five,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0\u00a0 Sherry put out the money and did the actual play of the hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see your five and raise you ten\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, call ten.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many do you want, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam found Sherry\u2019s ear and whispered, \u201cSlide the Jack of diamonds under the money.\u201d\u00a0 Sherry did as he told her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re splitting openers; give us one.\u201d\u00a0 Frank put down his hand, picked up the deck and dealt Adam one card.<\/p>\n

\u201cDealer takes one.\u201d\u00a0 Frank put down the deck, took up his hand and discarded the queen of hearts.\u00a0 He then put down his hand again took up the deck and dealt himself one card.\u00a0 It was the ace of diamonds.<\/p>\n

Sherry picked up Adam\u2019s card, added it to his hand and whispered, \u201cTen of clubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou opened,\u201d Frank stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but the price of poker has just gone up.\u00a0 Open for twenty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see your twenty, and since this is just a friendly game, I\u2019ll raise you fifty.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you now, Adam, splittin\u2019 openers you probably went for a flush and made it, but it\u2019s not going to be good enough.\u00a0 Better fold while you can.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Frank, since you\u2019re so kind to us, we\u2019ll just call your fifty and not take any more of your money.\u201d<\/p>\n

Frank opened his hand.\u00a0 \u201cFours full with a pair of aces.\u201d\u00a0 He reached for the pot.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a real nice hand, and you were right about the flush, but now it\u2019s straight \u2013 seven to Jack.\u00a0 Show him, Sherry.\u201d\u00a0 Sherry laid out their hand for Frank to see.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamnation, Adam,\u201d Frank grumbled.\u00a0 \u201cI think the little lady hexed those cards.\u00a0 They\u2019ve run your way all night.\u201d\u00a0 He pushed over the pot, and Sherry added it to Adam\u2019s other winnings.<\/p>\n

Joe cleared his throat and touched Adam on the shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAh\u2026Adam, don\u2019t you think it\u2019s about time we got started home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Adam, it\u2019s late,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi.\u00a0 You boys back already.\u00a0 What time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter eleven.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess we better call it a night, Frank.\u201d\u00a0 Adam pointed to the money on the table.\u00a0 \u201cCount it for me will you, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned back in his chair and stretched, one arm holding Sherry close on his lap.\u00a0 She put her hand on the back of his neck and stroked it with her fingertips and then pulled his head down to her mouth.\u00a0 When she finished speaking, he smiled, nodded and squeezed her waist.<\/p>\n

Joe was so absorbed in watching this byplay that he could barely count.\u00a0 Hoss elbowed him in the ribs and he finished up.\u00a0 \u201cSeven ninety five, eight hundred, eight hundred and ten dollars!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a bad nights work,\u201d Adam said lazily.\u00a0 \u201cSplit it Joe and give me half.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe divided the money and put half of it in Adam\u2019s outstretched hand.\u00a0 He placed it on the table.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s your half, Sherry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t take that.\u00a0 All I did was tell you what cards you had.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd all I did was tell you how to play \u2018em.\u00a0 Come on, fair is fair.\u00a0 We were partners, remember?\u00a0 Without me you didn\u2019t know how to play, and without you I couldn\u2019t see to play.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd between the two of you, you just about cleaned the house.\u201d Frank added.<\/p>\n

Adam eased Sherry off his lap and stood up.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, take forty dollars out of that money and give me the rest.\u201d\u00a0 Adam pulled his money pouch from his pocket and handed it to Joe. His brother tucked away all but two twenty dollar gold pieces and handed it back.<\/p>\n

Adam moved closer to his brothers and put an arm around each man\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cNow, I want you two to use that money to get a good room at the hotel and enjoy a big breakfast tomorrow morning on me.\u00a0 Pick me up here about eight a.m., and we\u2019ll head home before Pa gets too worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Too dumbstruck to speak Hoss and Joe watched as Adam called to Sherry.\u00a0 \u201cReady, sweetheart?\u201d\u00a0 She had just finished putting her share of the money away in her evening bag.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 When she touched his hand, he slid his arm around her waist and they headed toward the stairs in the back.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s up there?\u201d Hoss whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHer room,\u201d Frank Faro answered.\u00a0 \u201cThe lucky devil!\u00a0 Half the men in town have tried to get up those stairs.\u00a0 He\u2019s the first one to make it, and he can\u2019t even appreciate her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t bet on that,\u201d Joe muttered.\u00a0 \u201cNo sir, not at all.\u201d
\n**********
\nSherry\u2019s room smelled clean and freshly aired with just a hint of the subtle perfume she wore.\u00a0 She closed the door, and Adam heard the latch click.\u00a0 She took his hand and placed it on the lock guiding him to release the latch and then closed it again.\u00a0 \u201cIn case you want to leave,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cLet me show you around so you will feel comfortable here.\u201d\u00a0 The room was large and well appointed with a small adjoining washroom.\u00a0 She led him slowly around letting him count steps from the bed to the dressing table, big chair and bath.\u00a0 She explained that the window looked out on a street of stores and offices that were rather quiet at night, but that the continuous noise of stamp mills, mine blasting and changing shifts was unavoidable.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s no escaping it in town anymore.\u00a0 I remember when there were just a few old prospectors and their donkeys wandering around these hills.\u00a0 It was a lot quieter in those days.\u00a0 Of course, about the only thing the Ponderosa could sell then was stock and supplies to pilgrims headed on to California.\u00a0 We make a lot more money now, but I\u2019m not sure I like it any better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome and sit down.\u00a0 I\u2019d love to hear about the early days of Virginia City from someone who really knows, but I\u2019d like to make you comfortable first.\u201d\u00a0 She urged him into an upholstered chair covered in what felt like fine velvet.\u00a0 Moving behind him she began to massage his neck and shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re very tense.\u00a0 I\u2019m a good masseuse.\u00a0 If you can bring yourself to trust me, it will be a lot more pleasant for both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSherry, you don\u2019t have to do anything you don\u2019t want to do.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to make sure you understand that.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hadn\u2019t been with a woman since well before his blinding and realized that he was nervous.\u00a0 Would it be the same?\u00a0 Could he please her without the use of his sight?<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Adam.\u00a0 I understood that when I invited you up here.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just take our time and see what happens. We have all night.\u201d<\/p>\n

He reached up and caught one of her hands as they worked across his shoulders digging deep to loosen knotted muscle.\u00a0 \u201cCome here,\u201d he said pulling her around the chair.\u00a0 When she stood before him, he put both hands around her waist and lifted her into his lap. Circling her with his right arm, he cupped her face with his left and found her lips with his own.<\/p>\n

His first kisses were light, tender touches as he circled her face, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her eyes, her temples, and her chin.\u00a0 Finally he came again to her mouth.\u00a0 This time there was pressure, heat, and demand.\u00a0 She opened her mouth to him willingly, and they shared a breath.\u00a0 His tongue caressed her lips with a slow, sensual motion until they quivered under his touch.\u00a0 She pressed hard against him and sucked his lower lip between her teeth.\u00a0 She nibbled on it softly for a moment before releasing it.\u00a0 He kissed her hard again and again their lips conjoined, tongues flirting, dueling.\u00a0 The heat between them grew.<\/p>\n

When his hand sought her breast and she felt a flush spread over her body she drew back.\u00a0 He stopped at once and sat quite still his head slightly cocked in her direction, a question on his expressive face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did say we have all night.\u00a0 Let me make you comfortable first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been a long time for me, Sherry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think it will be a problem from what I\u2019ve seen so far.\u201d\u00a0 She touched the faint, straight scar that ran into the left side of his upper lip.\u00a0 \u201cHow did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n

He fingered the scar and grinned.\u00a0 \u201cMy brother threw a tin miner\u2019s lantern at me.\u00a0 Cut my lip wide open and knocked me silly.\u00a0 Claims he never meant to hit me.\u00a0 Says I dodged the wrong way.\u00a0 It was quite a scene.\u00a0 I was staggering around bleeding like a stuck hog \u2013 I was about eighteen.\u00a0 My brother Hoss, he\u2019s the big one you saw downstairs, was trying to catch me and screaming for our father, and Little Joe was curled up crying like his heart would break.\u00a0 Pa finally cornered me and got me calmed down.\u00a0 Doc Martin sewed up the cut.\u00a0 It puffed out like a toad.\u00a0 You should try eating, talking, even cracking a smile with stitches in your lip.\u201d\u00a0 Adam chuckled quietly at the memory.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t believe I want to try,\u201d Sherry laughed with him.\u00a0 \u201cBut who threw the lantern at you and why.\u00a0 It must have been\u2026Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no, Hoss and I usually get along; it was Joe.\u00a0 He was just seven if I remember correctly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, a boy that small?\u00a0 What made him so mad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe may not be as big as the rest of us, but when he\u2019s mad he just explodes with temper.\u00a0 He heaved that thing like a discus thrower.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what did you do to him to make him so mad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly what Pa asked me.\u00a0 Why does everybody assume it was my fault?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were almost grown; he was just a little boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe has always wanted exactly what he wants when he wants it.\u00a0 He wanted to ride a horse I was breaking.\u00a0 I told him it was too dangerous and then came into the barn to find him crawling into the saddle.\u00a0 I snatched him off and set him down.\u00a0 He ran a few steps screaming about how mean I was, grabbed the lantern, swung around and threw it with all his might.\u00a0 Knocked himself down.\u00a0 He was just getting up when he saw me tottering toward him with blood spurting.\u00a0 He rolled up in a ball and had a fit of hysterical crying.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he really meant to hurt me that badly.\u00a0 He\u2019s always claims he didn\u2019t mean to hit me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherry kissed the scar softly.\u00a0 \u201cPoor baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe or Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoth of you really.\u00a0 It make as very interesting scar.\u201d\u00a0 She continued kissing along his upper lip.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I was in Europe, I passed it off as a dueling scar.\u00a0 Proved very attractive to the ladies over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery attractive to this lady over here.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we get out of these hot clothes, and I\u2019ll explore any other scars you may have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn interesting proposition.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on.\u201d\u00a0 Sherry took his hand and pulled him toward the bed.\u00a0 \u201cThe bed\u2019s just behind you.\u00a0 If you sit down you\u2019ll be on it, but stand for a minute and let me undress you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems like that should be the other way around, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind.\u00a0 You\u2019ll \u2018see\u2019 all of me you want in good time.\u201d\u00a0 She reached up and slid the soft tanned vest down from his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to hang your things on a clothes tree by the head of the bed.\u00a0 They will be there when you want them.\u201d
\nShe unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and let her fingers linger on his hands lightly tickling his palms with the tips of her nails.\u00a0 She moved from there to the fastenings of his shirt undoing them slowly one by one to reveal the dark swirls of hair that adorned the magnificent chest.\u00a0 It was broad and deep \u2013 heavy with muscle.\u00a0 Enclosed in his arms, cradled against that wall of protection a woman could feel infinitely safe and desired.<\/p>\n

She leaned against him resting her head on his chest, and he did as she had hoped:\u00a0 he closed his arms around her and pulled her close.\u00a0 He bent his head and nuzzled into her hair, kissing her face when she turned it up to him.\u00a0 He was so totally male.\u00a0 His intense sexuality blew through her with the force and heat of a desert wind sweeping away all her accustomed defenses.\u00a0\u00a0 Tearing herself away she loosened his belt and freed the buttons of his trousers.\u00a0 \u201cSit down now, and let me pull off your boots.\u201d<\/p>\n

Feeling behind him, Adam sank onto the bed his breathing a little fast with anticipation.\u00a0 He heard her kneel and felt a tug on his right foot.\u00a0 He lifted it, and she pulled off the boot then repeated with the left.\u00a0 She slid his trousers down and off leaving only the drawers.\u00a0 She ran a hand over them appreciatively.\u00a0 \u201cOh, silk.\u00a0 How elegant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCooler in summer, warmer in winter and much less scratchy than wool or even linen.\u201d\u00a0 He had found a tailor in Sacramento who made them up to his measurements \u2013 knee length and in lightweight cream silk for summer, full length and in several layers of heavier silk for winter.<\/p>\n

Undoing the drawstring she pressed her hands to his sides and slid them down over the narrow hips pausing to caress the tight, hard cheeks of his butt.\u00a0 Pressing them down the pillars of his legs and off she had rendered him completely nude.\u00a0 Knowing he would feel vulnerable, she urged him into the bed and pulled up the sheet.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll join you in just a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

She quickly removed and hung her own gown.\u00a0 He was probably used to undressing the women he made love to himself, but unfastening a long series of hooks and bows would probably be so difficult for him that it would spoil their time together.\u00a0 She slid into bed beside him leaving on only a thin petticoat that he could lift up over her head.\u00a0 \u201cNow, my dear, you may explore to your heart\u2019s content.\u201d<\/p>\n

Turning on his side he drew her close and ran a hand quickly down her whole body.\u00a0 \u201cDo we really need this?\u201d\u00a0 He lifted the sheer lawn slip.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust as you choose.\u201d\u00a0 She raised her arms and he slid it up and over her head flinging it to one side.\u00a0 His hands possessed her then, following every contour of her body, finding the secret pleasure points, lavishing her with their attention.\u00a0 His hands were big, powerful, ridged with muscle and scared with hard work.\u00a0 In a less than gentle lover they would be frightening.\u00a0 Adam used them as a fine violinist would use his bow to draw out the sweet notes of passion and delight.<\/p>\n

They enclosed and warmed her breasts as he showered the tender globes with kisses.\u00a0 His fingertips drew lines of fire across her belly to her groin as he touched and then withdrew from the gateway to her womanhood again and again until she squirmed with impatience.\u00a0 She could feel him hardening and knew he had been long without a woman, but he was patient and inventive, unwilling to use her for his pleasure alone.<\/p>\n

She returned his caresses, sliding down to let her breasts enclose his member, swirling her tongue in his belly button, pressing kisses down the thin line of dark hair that ran to his sex.\u00a0 He groaned with pleasure and pulled her up hard against him until they were pressed tightly together from hip to throat.\u00a0 He kissed her then with burning ardor.\u00a0 His deep, sensual heat consumed her in its fire.\u00a0 His hands were on her back tracing the line of her backbone; cupping the round, firm flesh of her bottom; drawing her so tightly against him that she could feel his need swelling against her belly.<\/p>\n

She opened her legs and tipped her pelvis against his groin.\u00a0 This beautiful blind man was an ardent and tender lover well learned in the desires and delights of a woman.\u00a0 Total, abandoned surrender to his will was delicious.<\/p>\n

Sensing her yielding, he lifted her astride his hips, supporting her upper body as he slid the tip of his manhood just within her gates.\u00a0 He eased her down and drew her breast into his mouth, teased the nipple with his tongue until it was swollen and hard and then sucked strongly.\u00a0 She cried out in her urgency and pressed her body down on his hardened shaft.\u00a0 He was big and filled her to aching, glorious capacity.\u00a0 Her muscles tightened around him and he grunted with surprised delight.\u00a0 Ever so slowly he began to move within her, rocking her gently with his movement.<\/p>\n

His clever fingers sought the nub of her pleasure and stroked it in rhythm.\u00a0 Her whole body was consumed with desire; driven to heights completely new to her.\u00a0 She was torn between fainting and screaming with her need to climax.\u00a0 Adam too was beginning to lose control.\u00a0 She enclosed him completely drawing him deep inside her, tormenting him as she squeezed and released with each stroke.\u00a0 It had been too long; sense and reason threw up their hands and abandoned his whole body to sensation.\u00a0 Her waist was slim, her hips sweetly rounded under his hands.\u00a0 Her polished knees gripped his sides and the warm ivory swell of her belly rested against the hard, flat planes of his.<\/p>\n

He increased his speed, driving up now relentlessly.\u00a0 She arched her back and cried out in ecstasy as he felt himself burst beyond the barriers of earth and explode in a wild blaze of sensation.\u00a0 She fell then against his chest, and he enfolded her in his arms as they shuddered with trembling aftershocks of delight.\u00a0 When he bent to kiss her face, her eyes were wet with tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t cry sweetheart,\u201d he said softly.\u00a0 \u201cDid I hurt you?\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no, Adam.\u00a0 It was wonderful.\u00a0 No one has ever cared enough to make me feel like that before.\u00a0 Would you hold me for a while?\u201d<\/p>\n

He slid her down beside him and turned on his side pulling her back against him like stacked spoons.\u00a0 He put his arms around her and cupped her breasts stroking them gently as they regained their breath and balance.\u00a0 Presently they talked.\u00a0 She told him more of her brother and of her life since his death.\u00a0 She had chosen to work as a saloon girl in one of Sacramento\u2019s better establishments when their parents died suddenly and she was left to support her brother.<\/p>\n

When he was killed, she felt rootless and in time had drifted closer to the mines and the source of the wealth pouring into both states.\u00a0 She confided that she hoped to save enough money to open a small, but dignified residential hotel and get away from the life of a saloon girl.<\/p>\n

He respected her ambition and offered to help her finance the venture when she was ready.\u00a0 He would take a small percentage of her profit until the loan was repaid.\u00a0 Deeply moved by his offer, she asked him to tell her of the Ponderosa and of his life there.\u00a0 Finding it difficult to speak of the changes his blindness had brought, he told her instead of building the ranch and of the fun and fights he had shared with his brothers.<\/p>\n

In time they fell silent each deeply aware of the physical presence of the other. His sense of touch and smell and hearing has sharpened until he was acutely aware of her body.\u00a0 He had feared being clumsy, but skill and instinct had combined to instruct his lovemaking.\u00a0\u00a0 In some strange way it was the most intimate experience he had ever enjoyed.\u00a0 Still he longed to see her response.<\/p>\n

Keeping her close against him he kissed the damp nape of her neck, nibbled at her ear lobe, spread his hand across her stomach and circled slowly, firmly moving the organs inside until she writhed against him.\u00a0 He slid over her then, supporting his weight on knees and elbows.\u00a0 She put her arms about her neck and sealed her mouth to his in a long passionate kiss.\u00a0 She wrapped her legs about his waist and circled her hips in a slow, tantalizing motion.\u00a0 When he gasped, she let her head drop back and giggled with delight.\u00a0 He tickled her sides and she dropped away from him.\u00a0 He followed her down trapping her inside the cocoon of his arms and legs.\u00a0 She growled in mock anger and bit along the line of his left shoulder \u2013 never hard enough to really hurt.<\/p>\n

Teasing and taunting, advancing and retreating, they explored each others likes and fantasies moving eventually to a prolonged and stunning climax that left them both limp and exhausted.\u00a0 He drifted off to sleep then and dreamed of a garden bathed in sunlight and color and peopled with slender, dark haired girls in sheer veils.<\/p>\n

Adam awoke with a start, his heart racing.\u00a0 The bed was unfamiliar, all the sounds and scents strange.\u00a0 Where was he?\u00a0 Before he could lunge erect a head stirred on his shoulder and a soft hand pressed against his chest.\u00a0 \u201cYou are here with me \u2013 Sherry.\u00a0 Everything is all right.\u00a0 You have plenty of time before your brothers come for you.\u201d\u00a0 He sank back with a soft sigh as his memories of the night flooded into his consciousness.\u00a0 Sherry had proved to be a pleasing, teasing, light-hearted lover.\u00a0 A trill of laughter seemed to bubble under even the most passionate moments.\u00a0 Adam had found it both arousing and liberating.<\/p>\n

\u201cUm, why didn\u2019t I tell them to go on home and leave me here?\u00a0 It was a wonderful evening.\u00a0 Give me a morning kiss, sweetheart?\u201d\u00a0 She slid on top of him and gave him a long, warm kiss that aroused desires for much more.\u00a0 It was fortunate that he had awakened early because they found good use for all the time they could spare.<\/p>\n

Later when he had washed and dressed, which he managed with very little help, she buckled on his gun belt and handed him his pocket watch and money pouch.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s all there,\u201d she assured him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never doubted it, Sherry.\u00a0 Thank you for everything.\u00a0 This was the best night I have had in a very long time.\u00a0 May I see you again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we play poker again?\u00a0 That was fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can, but suppose I lose?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, but I don\u2019t want to lose my job.\u00a0 You might have to drink cold tea with me if the saloon is busy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat can be arranged.\u00a0 Tell Cosmo he can bill it as champagne if he likes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen come again next Friday if you can.\u00a0 I\u2019ll wait for you.\u00a0\u00a0 Now I need to catch up on my sleep.\u00a0 You wear a girl out.\u00a0 Can you get downstairs on your own?\u00a0 Did you count coming up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did; I\u2019ll manage.\u00a0 Lock your door after me.\u201d\u00a0 He gave her one last lingering kiss and with surprising confidence let himself out of the room and moved with care toward the stairs.
\n**********
\nMorning found Adam\u2019s well rested and well fed younger brothers hitching their horses and Little Squaw in front of the Bucket of Blood.\u00a0 They entered to find Adam finishing a good breakfast at a table by himself.\u00a0 He was relaxed, confident and in a playful mood \u2013 more like the Adam they used to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning, Hoss, Joe.\u00a0 Did you sleep well?\u00a0 Enjoy your breakfast?\u00a0 You\u2019ve got the horses?\u201d\u00a0 This brought a mumbled chorus of yeses.\u00a0 They had stayed awake late marveling over the evening\u2019s revelations.\u00a0 How the hell did Adam do it?\u00a0 They could court a woman with gifts and attention and still get nowhere.\u00a0 One look at Adam, and they fell into his arms.\u00a0 Blind or sighted, drunk or sober, loaded or flat broke, it didn\u2019t seem to make the slightest difference to the women \u2013 they would take him in any condition.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Sherry?\u201d Joe dared to ask.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s smile lighted the room.\u00a0 \u201cCatching up on her sleep.\u00a0 She has to work tonight.\u00a0 Can I talk one of you into bring me back next Friday?\u201d\u00a0 Joe agreed readily. This was what he had wanted for Adam, wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

They linked arms and strode out of the saloon laughing and joking together. Sherry, in treating Adam as a whole man rather than as a cripple, had given him back something he badly needed \u2013 pride in his manhood.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Adam awoke into the dry heat of an early fall morning several weeks later with another headache.\u00a0 They had become more frequent lately and more severe.\u00a0 He was reluctant to think too closely about what they might mean.\u00a0 He dressed slowly and made his way downstairs to the breakfast table.\u00a0 The pain dulled his appetite, and he picked at his plate until Hop Sing offered a treat.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s number five San Francisco cousin had obtained fresh pineapples from a ship just in from Barbados, packed them in ice and rushed them to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 The tangy sweetness of the chilled fruit tasted good to Adam, and he ate several slices.<\/p>\n

Refreshed he asked Hoss his usual morning question about the weather.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a mighty fine day,\u201d his brother told him.\u00a0 \u201cClear as glass and the sun so bright it hurts.\u00a0 The aspens are startin\u2019 to turn \u2013 all red and golden \u2013 sure wish you could see them, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo do I, Hoss, but I remember.\u201d\u00a0 He was grateful that Hoss could speak to him so naturally.\u00a0 \u201cFeels a little dry though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, we could use some rain before winter sets in, but it doesn\u2019t look too promising unless something blows in from the east.\u00a0 Wind\u2019s coming from that direction.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to have another look at that timber over on Thunder Mountain today,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0 We need rain up there badly. It\u2019s so dry it would go up like a torch if it ever got started.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou comin\u2019, Adam?\u201d Hoss inquired.<\/p>\n

\u201cBettah Mistah Adam stay home,\u201d Hop Sing put in.\u00a0 \u201cHead ache bad again.\u201d\u00a0 Adam realized he has asked Hop Sing for ice more than once recently when the pounding in his head had forced him to seek some relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d his father snapped.\u00a0 \u201cAren\u2019t you feeling well, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just an occasional headache, Pa, but I think I\u2019ll beg off riding today and take it easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure you\u2019re all right, son?\u00a0 One of us can stay with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh there\u2019s no point in that.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be fine by myself.\u00a0 You go ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be home by noon.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not feeling better then, I\u2019ll send Joe into town for the doctor and let him take a look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nothing, Pa.\u00a0 Go on and check that timber and stop worrying about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u201d Ben said with some reluctance.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll be back soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

When they had gone Hop Sing brought in ice wrapped in a linen towel, a thick down pillow and a pitcher of cold water that Adam often craved and announced he was going fishing so they could have fresh trout for supper.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou be all \u2018light, Mistah Adam?\u201d he asked. \u201c You need me, I stay house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou go right ahead, Hop Sing.\u00a0 A grilled trout will make a fine supper.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going to stretch out and rest for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam settled the pillow at one end of the couch and lowered his head carefully onto it putting the ice pack across his forehead and eyes. His long body filled the couch. I should pull off my boots<\/em>, he thought.\u00a0 His father hated footwear on the furniture, but he didn\u2019t feel up to the struggle. He half dozed for some time as the ache gradually eased.\u00a0 Suddenly a lance of pain shot across behind his eyes, and he gasped.\u00a0 Sitting up he rubbed hard at his eyes and then opened them.\u00a0 A flash of brilliance dazzled him, and he shut them quickly.\u00a0 When he opened them again the familiar darkness was still with him.\u00a0 He sat puzzled for a minute then shrugged, groped until he found the ice pack and eased back down.<\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss and Little Joe were deep in the stand of mature silver fir trees.\u00a0 The magnificent giants towered ramrod straight for close to two hundred feet \u2013 one of the finest trees anywhere in the Sierra Nevada.\u00a0 They were in great demand as telegraph poles and mine bracing.\u00a0 The stand represented thousand of dollars worth of income to the Ponderosa, and they were very dry with needles beginning to brown and droop.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t like the looks of this,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0 \u201cA stroke of lightning in here is all it would take.\u201d\u00a0 Thunderheads were piling up against the mountains brought in by the east wind.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout all we can do is hope rain comes with the storm,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right son, Ben agreed.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start on home.\u00a0 I\u2019m worried about Adam.\u00a0 Has he said anything to either of you about these headaches?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot me,\u201d Hoss replied, \u201cbut sometimes when he comes in from a long ride he\u2019s mighty pale and goes straight to his room.\u00a0 I think maybe we should talk to Hop Sing about what goes on when we\u2019re not there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn excellent idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

They were still within the vaulted corridors of the great trees when the sky was ripped open by a streak of lightning followed by a crashing clap of thunder.\u00a0 The horses went wild shying, rearing and attempting to buck or run.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss managed to get their mounts under control, but Joe, who had been riding loose with his thoughts elsewhere, was unseated when Cochise stood straight up and pawed the air.\u00a0 He fell heavily onto rocky ground.<\/p>\n

Fighting their mounts into some semblance of control, Ben and Hoss dismounted quickly.\u00a0 Hoss caught up the horses while Ben went to Little Joe.\u00a0 He knelt beside his son and lifted his head and shoulders onto his knee.\u00a0 Joe clutched his right arm with his left hand and held it tight across his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it Joseph?\u00a0 Where are you hurt?\u201d\u00a0 Ben attempted to feel the arm.<\/p>\n

Joe grunted in pain.\u00a0 “Ah, careful Pa; that hurts!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben ran his fingers very gently along Joe\u2019s right forearm.\u00a0 It was already swelling halfway between wrist and elbow and he could feel the displaced bone.\u00a0 Fortunately it had not broken through the skin.\u00a0 It was a long ride home and if the sharp ends of the broken bones were allowed to further tear flesh and blood vessels with every movement of the horse it would become a far more serious injury.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you are going to have to be very brave for a few minutes.\u00a0 I need to pull the bones into alignment and then splint and strap it so we can get you home.\u00a0 I will hurt fiercely I\u2019m afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, Pa,\u201d Joe said from between clenched teeth.\u00a0 \u201cDo it quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss cut that blanket behind my saddle into strips and find me some straight sticks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss looped the reins of their horses over a low hanging limb and taking down the blanket quickly cut it into strips with his sheath knife.\u00a0 Handing them to Ben, he searched beneath the trees for improvised splints and soon had everything in readiness.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold his arm above the elbow,\u201d Ben directed.\u00a0 Hoss sat down behind Joe and braced his brother against his chest taking a firm grip on the upper part of his right arm.\u00a0 \u201cReady, son.\u00a0 Be strong!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben took Joe\u2019s wrist and hand in his own hands and applied a steady, straight pull.\u00a0 Against his will a strangled scream escaped Joe\u2019s throat as the bones slipped into position.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the worst of it,\u201d Ben assured him as he applied the makeshift splints and tied them in place with the blanket strips.\u00a0 Once that was secured he brought the arm tight against Joe\u2019s chest and strapped it firmly in place.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should be able to get home now without doing yourself more damage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was rising to help Little Joe to his feet when a second bolt of lightening struck close.\u00a0 The thunder engulfed them, and any semblance of reason was driven from the horses\u2019 minds.\u00a0 Reins snapped as they tore themselves free from the tree limb and, frantic with fear, ran for home.\u00a0 Lightning stroked again and within their sight a huge pine burst into flames.<\/p>\n

Adam was seriously worried.\u00a0 He paced the living room, his headache forgotten, as he listened to the growing storm playing in the direction his family had taken.\u00a0 He stumbled over a footstool someone had left out of place as he moved through the room.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He kicked it aside and snarled.\u00a0 He was truly alone.\u00a0 Hop Sing was probably holed up someplace to wait out the storm and the men were all distance from the ranch house on a variety of duties.\u00a0 The clock on the mantelpiece chimed two, and Adam opened the front door and stood on the porch straining every sense for some indication of what was happening.<\/p>\n

Unseen smoke was darkening the sky above Thunder Mountain and the storm rumbled and growled.\u00a0 As a dozen possibilities raced through Adam\u2019s mind, three horses trotted in and stopped at the hitching rack.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Adam called out.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Little Joe?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 There was only the snort of a nervous horse.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hands searched the entryway table until he located his gun belt and strapped it around his waist.<\/p>\n

He made his way carefully to the hitching rack and ran his hands over each horse.\u00a0 He quickly found the empty saddles and trailing reins.\u00a0 \u201cYou boys broke loose from somewhere,\u201d he told the truant horses as he gathered the reins and tied them off.\u00a0 \u201cThat means Pa and my brothers are afoot.\u00a0 Where did you come in from anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

The horses shifted nervously and Chubb whickered as the freshening wind brought a hint of smoke.\u00a0 Adam threw his head up and concentrating all his attention tasted the wind.\u00a0 It was fire!\u00a0 A terrible fear seized his guts and twisted.\u00a0 They were all up there \u2013 without horses, without a way to escape!\u00a0 An hour of sight, only one hour<\/em> \u2013 he would give anything the fates demanded for it.\u00a0 The intensity of his desire was almost tangible, but there was only the darkness.<\/p>\n

I have to try<\/em>, Adam thought.\u00a0 I have to!<\/em>\u00a0 He moved as quickly as he could, but dare not risk a fall or serious blunder.\u00a0 Counting his steps with care he made his way into the barn.\u00a0 He hesitated at Little Squaw\u2019s stall but realized it would be very difficult to force her ahead of Cochise.\u00a0 He called to Sport and the big chestnut blew softly.\u00a0 Adam opened the stall and slid an arm around his horse\u2019s neck.\u00a0 \u201cI need you, son.\u00a0 Can I count on you; will you help me?\u201d\u00a0 Sport nuzzled Adam\u2019s hair.\u00a0 It was all the answer he was likely to get.<\/p>\n

He painted the inside of the barn as he remembered it across the blackboard of his blindness with his architect\u2019s precision and managed to find saddle and bridle as well as lead ropes for the other horses.\u00a0 Sport stood quietly to be tacked as Adam fumbled with buckles and fished under him for the cinch.\u00a0 It was as if he sensed the change and was trying to make it right.<\/p>\n

Adam led Sport from the barn to the hitching rack and working by touch tied up the reins of Buck, Chubb and Cochise and attached the long lead lines. Everything took so damn long to find and do by feel and memory, yet he dare not rush.\u00a0 Sport stood rock steady as he mounted and looped the leads around the horn.<\/p>\n

Adam had been out to the stand of silver firs many times in his life and knew the way well.\u00a0 If he could keep his concentration and not allow himself to get turned around there was a good chance he could make it. Then too he should be able to follow the scent of smoke.\u00a0 He touched his heels to Sport and moved at a steady trot away from the ranch.<\/p>\n

On Thunder Mountain the other members of his family were exerting every effort to escape the fire.\u00a0 Ben led the way while Hoss supported Little Joe half carrying him.\u00a0 The fire was some way behind them yet, but was moving through the dry forest with the speed of a freight train and a roar that raised the hairs along the back of the neck.<\/p>\n

Hoss called out to his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa, this fire could crown anytime.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Hoss, but there\u2019s no safe place here.\u00a0 Our best chance is to keep ahead of it.\u00a0 How\u2019s Joe doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cStill on his feet, but I don\u2019t know for how long.\u201d<\/p>\n

They pushed ahead as rapidly as possible.\u00a0 The sound of a shot penetrated through the trees and fire noise followed by a muffled shout.\u00a0 Joe roused from his half-stupor to pull at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s\u2026that\u2019s Adam!\u00a0 Shoot, Hoss!\u00a0 Call him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d his brother scoffed.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re out of your head.\u00a0 How would he get here?\u201d\u00a0 Some half-understood conviction that Adam would always be there when he needed him drove Joe\u2019s insistence as another shot sounded.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Adam!\u00a0 Let him know we\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben too had stopped and turned toward the sound of shouts.\u00a0 \u201cEven if it\u2019s not Adam, it is help!\u201d\u00a0 Ben pulled his gun and squeezed off two quick rounds.\u00a0 Both Ben and Hoss called out at the top of their voices.<\/p>\n

Horses could be heard crashing through the trees, and Adam\u2019s deep, ringing shout reached them.\u00a0 \u201cPa! Pa!\u00a0 Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

More shots and calls brought them quickly together as Adam broke through the smoke and trees leading their three horses.\u00a0 Ben caught Sport\u2019s bridle as he reached them.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, are you all right?\u00a0 The horses came in.\u00a0 I smelled smoke.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how you got here, son, but I thank God you did.\u00a0 Cochise threw Joe, and he\u2019s hurt pretty badly.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to move fast.\u00a0 This fire may crown anytime.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly where are we?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0 \u201cI got a little confused once I got off the trail and started hunting for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re on the northeast slope of the mountain about half way down.\u00a0 That old Indian burial ground is about half a mile to the east.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019re downhill from the fire; that gives us a little more time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnless it hits the tops, because we\u2019re downwind too.\u00a0 With this wind it would go like a train of gunpowder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss took the leads from Adam and quickly boosted Joe into his saddle.\u00a0 He managed to straighten and take the reins in his left hand.\u00a0 \u201cKnew it was you,\u201d he told Adam, his speech slurring.<\/p>\n

They set off downhill as rapidly as they could make their way between the trees.\u00a0 Ben led with Adam on his left.\u00a0 Joe was positioned behind Adam with Hoss on his right.\u00a0 They soon reached a fiercely burning patch where the fire had jumped ahead spurred by wind-borne cinders. Ben swung to circle it on the right calling out to Adam to follow.\u00a0 The gap between them widened momentarily and a flaming branch dropped between the two pair of horse.\u00a0 Sport spooked sharply left followed by Cochise.\u00a0 Buck and Chubb sprang away to the right and fought their riders.<\/p>\n

Adam and Joe were lost from sight in the heavy smoke and fire haze by the time the other pair regained control.<\/p>\n

\u201cCircle, Hoss!\u201d Ben shouted.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve got to find them!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He drove spurs into the panicked Buck trying to force him into the blazing undergrowth.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we\u2019ll all be killed!\u00a0 Adam will look after Little Joe.\u00a0 Ride clear!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u00a0 Adam\u2019s blind, Hoss!\u00a0 What can he do in this hell?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, but I\u2019m bettin\u2019 he\u2019ll manage.\u00a0 He got here with the horses didn\u2019t he?\u00a0 Come on now; we got to run!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m going back!\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried once more to force Buck into the fire, but the terrified animal reared, snatched the bit between his teeth and spinning on his hind feet ran for an opening in the forest.\u00a0 Hoss followed spurring hard.<\/p>\n

When the branch crashed between them, Sport and Cochise both ran.\u00a0 Frightened they stayed close together.\u00a0 Finally they reached an area momentarily free of fire and slowed, their sides heaving.\u00a0 Adam had let Sport run trusting him to find a way to safety.\u00a0 As they slowed he resumed control and called out to Joe.\u00a0 Cochise sidled up and nosed Adam\u2019s leg.\u00a0 Adam reached across to find Joe slumped in the saddle his head low.\u00a0 His left hand gripped the horn with all his remaining strength.\u00a0 Adam caught up his reins before Cochise could move away.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u00a0 Hoss!\u00a0 Where are you?\u201d Adam shouted.<\/p>\n

There was only the sound of approaching fire in answer.\u00a0 Fear was an icy drench as Adam realized they had become separated.\u00a0 He shook Joe hard in an attempt to rouse him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u00a0 Joe, can you hear me?\u00a0 I need your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Numbed by pain and shock, Joe could only mumble, \u201cAdam, help me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another blaze of pain crashed through Adam\u2019s head and he ground his fist into his useless eyes.\u00a0 He was rewarded with a flash of glaring, red-infused light and a return of darkness.\u00a0 He shoved it aside as unimportant in their present trouble, and, suffused with anger at his helplessness, threw his head back and scented the wind like a wild animal.\u00a0 He could feel the heat of the fire closing on them before he caught the smell he wanted almost hidden under the reek of smoke.<\/p>\n

He turned Sport toward it pulling Cochise and Joe along.\u00a0 He spoke soothingly to the horses letting the familiar warmth of his voice calm them.\u00a0 \u201cEasy, boys, easy.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let the fire spook you.\u00a0 Do you smell them?\u00a0 Those ole mineral springs are our best chance.\u00a0 Hold on.\u00a0 Nice and steady now.\u00a0 Just keep going nice and steady.\u201d\u00a0 Sport picked his way through the smoldering woods to the edge of a deep down slope that led to a sulfurous mud flat with a trickle of water down the center and sharply rising cliffs on the other side.<\/p>\n

Sport stopped short at the edge of the down slope and the strong, ugly smell of the sulfur filled Adam\u2019s nostrils.\u00a0 \u201cAre we here, son?\u201d he asked. He could only pray his guess was right.\u00a0 Holding Joe\u2019s reins tightly and giving Sport his head, he squeezed gently with his legs and urged Sport ahead.\u00a0 \u201cGo on, son.\u00a0 Down we go, nice and slow.\u201d\u00a0 Sport obeyed.\u00a0 Crouched almost onto his hindquarters, he half-slid, half-crawled down the steep slope.\u00a0 Cochise followed.\u00a0\u00a0 Every muscle tensed for a disastrous fall, Adam was startled when Sport gave a last powerful leap and landed on level ground splashing mud up to his knees.<\/p>\n

Adam dismounted and felt the ground.\u00a0 It was wet and odorous.\u00a0 Working constantly toward the deeper mud and stronger scent, he found the stream of free water than coursed through the flats.\u00a0 He immediately lifted Joe down and sat him in the mud.\u00a0 His brother moaned softly and Adam patted his head firmly.\u00a0 \u201cHold on Joe.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re gonna make it.\u201d\u00a0 He tied up the horses\u2019 reins and headed them downstream.\u00a0 With a shout and a hard slap on the rump he sent them to run for safety.<\/p>\n

Adam dropped to his knees and began to dig frantically in the soft mud with his hands. Throwing it aside in huge handfuls, he soon scooped out a shallow depression into which water slowly oozed.\u00a0 He pulled Joe to the hole and eased him into it covering him to the neck in the slimy, smelly mud.\u00a0 Adam threw himself down and gagging rolled in the mud plastering it thickly into his hair.\u00a0 He crouched over Joe\u2019s head and shoulders protecting his brother with his own body.\u00a0 Worming as far down into the mud as he could without suffocating Joe he clasped his hands behind his neck and waited.
\n**********
\nBen and Hoss broke out of the trees at the base of the mountain at a dead run.\u00a0 They raced on for some distance before Ben could regain full control of Buck.\u00a0 They brought the lathered and gasping horses to a standstill at last and turned to look back at the fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cLord have mercy,\u201d Hoss panted.\u00a0 \u201cI thought every minute me and Chubb was gonna be rollin\u2019 down that mountain in one big ball!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben thoughts were all for his missing sons.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re still in there!\u201d\u00a0 He kicked Buck and headed back toward the fire.\u00a0 Hoss rode into him forcing Buck to turn and grabbed his bridle.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa!\u00a0 That fire\u2019s crowned.\u00a0 You\u2019d be killed; burnt alive!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t lose them like this!\u00a0 Turn my horse loose.\u201d\u00a0 It was clearly an order, but Hoss refused, shaking his head and pleading, \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 Just look!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss pointed to a spot well below them where Sport and Cochise trotted out of the trees.<\/p>\n

\u201cTheir reins are tied up, not trailing.\u00a0 That means Adam let them go on purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t be sure.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to find them!\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried again to break free of Hoss\u2019s grip on Buck\u2019s bridle, but it was unshakable.\u00a0 \u201cLet me go!\u201d he shouted and struck Hoss an openhanded blow across the face.<\/p>\n

Hoss was rocked by the sudden attack but hung on to his father\u2019s mount grimly.\u00a0 A huge pine at the forest\u2019s edge exploded with a tremendous blast driving them farther back.\u00a0 Ben looked at the roaring inferno and realized it would be impossible to enter now.\u00a0 He slumped in the saddle and dropped his chin onto his chest.\u00a0 Hoss led them away from the fire to a safer spot.<\/p>\n

In time Ben looked up and spoke softly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, son. Forgive me for striking you.\u00a0 I know you only wanted to protect me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Pa.\u00a0 It will be all right.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss had tremendous faith in Adam\u2019s ability to survive against the odds.\u00a0 He has seen it played out many times.\u00a0 No forest fire was going to take him off after the fight he had put up to conquer his blindness.<\/p>\n

There was a last rumble of thunder and the skies opened.\u00a0 The rain poured down in slashing torrents hissing like a den of demented snakes as it hit the fire.\u00a0 Clouds of steam blanketed the area. The two men gathered Sport and Cochise and found what shelter they could.\u00a0 Filthy and chilled to the bone they waited.\u00a0 Neither thought of leaving until the other half of the family could be found.<\/p>\n

Wet, smoldering rubble choked the streambed where Sport and Cochise had escaped.\u00a0 It was late afternoon as Ben and Hoss picked their way along it calling hoarsely and leading the two weary mounts in search of their missing riders.<\/p>\n

In time the streambed opened onto the mud flats.\u00a0 Hoss shouted at the sight of Joe sitting dazedly in the hole Adam had dug.\u00a0 His arm was still tightly strapped across his chest and he was covered in mud except where the rain had washed it off in streaks.\u00a0 As they raced toward him they realized that Adam was stretched out flat his head resting in Joe\u2019s lap.\u00a0 His black clothes coated in thick mud, he was almost invisible against the ground.<\/p>\n

Throwing himself from the saddle, Ben raced to his sons.\u00a0 \u201cJoe.\u00a0 Adam.\u00a0 Thank God you\u2019re still alive!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at them and wondered if they were figures in a dream.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 Hoss?\u00a0 What happened to you?\u201d\u00a0 He shivered violently.<\/p>\n

Adam was unconscious.\u00a0 When Ben touched his face, he rolled his head and made a soft sound of pain.\u00a0 His hands were raw and blistered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re alive, Hoss, but soaked and shivering.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get them home.\u201d<\/p>\n

As they made their way carefully back down the draw with their precious burdens, they saw lanterns shining through the scorched woods and heard their names shouted aloud.\u00a0 Hop Sing had gotten home and, finding Adam gone and fresh tracks headed for the timber stand, had alerted the returning ranch hands.\u00a0 Help was here with fresh horses, a wagon piled high with blankets and a hamper full of food and strong brandy.
\n**********
\nLights burned throughout the night at the Ponderosa ranch house.\u00a0 Dr. Paul Martin was roused from a sound sleep by a hand driving a light buggy hitched to the fastest team the Cartwrights owned.\u00a0 As he climbed in the driver heard him mutter something about wishing they would confine their accidents to daylight hours.<\/p>\n

Some sense of peace descended on the house as a clear dawn began to brighten the sky to the east.\u00a0 Injuries had been tended, the bathhouse had been busy, and the horses were rubbed down and fed.\u00a0 The ranch hands had been given a hot meal, provided with a stiff drink and sent off to bed.\u00a0 Only a small group remained awake.\u00a0 They were gathered in Joe\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n

Joe had been bathed and doctored.\u00a0 His arm was splinted from elbow to wrist and supported in a sling.\u00a0 He was in bed, fully conscious and propped up with several pillows.\u00a0 Dr. Martin dabbed some carbolic on a scratch on Joe\u2019s forehead and turned to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s about it, Ben.\u00a0 Think I\u2019ve got everybody patched up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Adam?\u201d his father asked.<\/p>\n

His hands are torn and burned, but barring an infection, they should heal without any loss of use.\u00a0 I can\u2019t find anything else wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is he still unconscious?\u201d Ben demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe he rode into a forest fire and found you without the aid of his sight.\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Martin shook his head in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cIt would help if I had some idea of what happened to him.\u00a0 Maybe Little Joe can help us out?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cFeel up to it, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all pretty hazy, but I\u2019ll tell you the best I can remember,\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was hoarse with smoke.\u00a0 \u201cThere was fire all around us, and the horses were running.\u00a0 My arm felt like somebody was ramming a red-hot poker through it.\u00a0 I kept thinking I was gonna pass out; then I guess I did.\u00a0 I seem to remember Adam lifting me down off of Cochise and telling me it would be all right.\u00a0\u00a0 The next thing I knew I was buried in that hole in the mud where you found me.\u00a0 Adam was across me protecting my head and chest.\u00a0 About that time the fire crowned over us.\u00a0 There was a terrific blast.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know \u2013 maybe a gas pocket from the springs or something.\u00a0 Adam was knocked out, and it dazed me.\u00a0 Sometime later it was raining.\u00a0 I managed to sit up \u2013 get out of the cold water.\u00a0 Adam never woke up, but he did act like his head hurt him.\u00a0 It seemed like forever before you came for us.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how Adam found that place or got us down there, but he must have.\u00a0 I sure wasn\u2019t any help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re both safe, son.\u00a0 That\u2019s all that matters now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cAdam used to hunt up in there a lot, and those ole sulfur springs got quite a stink.\u00a0 Maybe he smelled \u2018em and figured out where he was.\u00a0 It was about the only place they\u2019d have had a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d almost bet you\u2019re right, brother.\u201d\u00a0 Joe broke off to cough.<\/p>\n

\u201cEnough for tonight, Joe,\u201d Doc Martin told him firmly.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re going to leave you to get some sleep.\u00a0 I want to look in on Adam again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was settled comfortable and the lanterns turned down.\u00a0 Paul Martin pulled Ben aside as they slipped out and closed the door.\u00a0 \u201cI want your help with Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m not leaving here until we can bring him around.\u00a0 I think he hears me when I call him.\u00a0 He\u2019ll stir, but then he slips back.\u00a0 It almost as if he\u2019s resisting waking.\u00a0 It may help if you speak to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss and the Doctor walked down the corridor to Adam\u2019s room.\u00a0 The mud had been washed away, and he lay quietly in his own bed.\u00a0 His face was peaceful.\u00a0 His bandaged hands rested outside the covers.\u00a0 Ben walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 He put his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder and shook him gently.\u00a0 \u201cTime to wake up, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s morning.\u00a0 There are chores to do.\u201d\u00a0 Adam half turned under his hand and sighed.\u00a0 Ben stroked his hair for a moment and then shook him again.\u00a0 \u201cGet up, Adam.\u00a0 You can\u2019t sleep now.\u00a0 I need you.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was firm.<\/p>\n

His father was calling.\u00a0 Must I get up, Pa?\u00a0 I\u2019m so tired.<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 The dark beckoned \u2013 quiet and warm and safe.\u00a0 Let me go.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d it was a demand for attention.\u00a0 \u201cWake up!\u201d\u00a0 He was shaken sharply.\u00a0 \u201cYou must wake up.\u00a0 You have work to do before you can sleep!\u201d<\/p>\n

Slowly, reluctantly he fought his way up to the surface.\u00a0 Always something that must be done.\u00a0 So hard to go on\u2026seeking, searching, falling, blocked at every turn.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it, son.\u00a0 I know you hear me.\u00a0 You belong here with us.\u00a0 Please, Adam \u2013 wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened his eyes into the ache of light and a blurred image of his father.\u00a0 His head was free of the nagging pain that had plagued him.\u00a0 He blinked hard, and more of his room came into a fuzzy focus.\u00a0 His window was a shimmering blaze that made him turn away.\u00a0 A laugh formed deep down and bubbled to the surface.\u00a0 The irony was complete.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t contain it.\u00a0 He laughed aloud in delighted, accepting, helpless waves.<\/p>\n

Ben gently caught his bandaged hands.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s all right, Adam.\u00a0 It\u2019s all over.\u00a0 You are home in bed.\u00a0 Joe, Hoss, we\u2019re all here and safe, thanks to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh God! that one might read the book of Fate!\u201d\u00a0 Adam was trying hard to control his laughter and struggled up against the pillows.<\/p>\n

Puzzled by Adam\u2019s strange reaction and the Shakespearean quote, Ben leaned in and looked at him closely.\u00a0 Slowly it came to him that Adam was looking directly back at him his eyes focused and lively with humor.\u00a0 \u201cYou see me don\u2019t you, son?\u00a0 You can see!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, yes I see you!\u00a0 Now, after all this, now<\/em> I can see!\u201d\u00a0 The laughter escaped again into deep chuckles.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin pushed Ben aside and took Adam firmly by the shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI know this is a shock, but it\u2019s not totally unexpected.\u00a0 Calm yourself, Adam.\u00a0 I need answers to a few questions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath and nodded yes.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, Doc.\u00a0 I\u2019ll try to answer like I had good sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs your vision completely clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s quite fuzzy and the light hurts, but it seems to be improving as we speak.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you have any warning sighs \u2013 possibly head pains or flashes of light?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019ve had headaches off and on for some time.\u00a0 They were getting pretty severe.\u00a0 Now my head feels clear, light.\u00a0\u00a0 In the last few days, I\u2019ve had what must have been moments of sight.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t realize what was happening.\u00a0 I\u2019d gotten so used to being blind; I never expected to see again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe that the pressure that caused your loss of vision must have been clearing naturally.\u00a0 That blast today just hurried it along.\u00a0 I would expect your sight to return to normal over the next few days.\u00a0 You should rest, and be careful of your hands.\u00a0 Keep them clean and dry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Martin turned to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cChange his dressings daily; I\u2019ll leave some ointment, and, it may be difficult, but keep him quiet.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back in a few days to check on them both.\u00a0 Now, if you\u2019ll find somebody to drive me home\u2026\u201d Ben Cartwright escorted his friend downstairs to see him off to make up some much needed sleep.<\/p>\n

Hoss was left alone with his brother.\u00a0\u00a0 He approached quietly and took Ben\u2019s place at the edge of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cCan you really see me, Adam,\u201d he inquired cautiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can, Hoss; I do.\u00a0 You may not be the prettiest thing in the Territory, but you look very good to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI shore am glad for you, partner!\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t know just how to say it, but I ain\u2019t never seen nothing like your courage, Adam.\u00a0 I watched how hard you worked to make your way in a world you couldn\u2019t see, and then to ride blind into a forest fire!\u00a0 How could you find the nerve to do that?\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 I thought we\u2019d all die there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, courage is nothing more than knowing what needs to be done, being scared to death to do it and going ahead anyway.\u00a0 You would have done the same.\u00a0 Anybody who\u2019s not afraid in those circumstances is insane.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked down for a moment and then reached out to touch his brother\u2019s knee with one bandaged hand.\u00a0 \u201cI leaned on you very heavily through this thing, Hoss.\u00a0 You were my\u2026my beacon in the darkness.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I would have made it without you.\u00a0 I\u2019m in your debt.\u00a0 Any claim you want to make at any time I\u2019ll honor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blushed furiously.\u00a0 \u201cShucks, Adam.\u00a0 You don\u2019t owe me nothin\u2019.\u00a0 Like you, I just did the needful thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m grateful, but remember what I said.\u00a0 Someday you may want to call in the account.\u201d
\n**********
\nPaul Martin drove out to the Ponderosa three days later to find Adam taking his ease on the veranda.\u00a0 His chair was tipped back; his legs elevated on the low porch railing and his bandaged hands rested quietly on a closed book in his lap.\u00a0 As Paul stepped out of the buggy, he sat up and waved in greeting.\u00a0 \u201cAfternoon, Doc.\u00a0 Come to check up on us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have indeed.\u00a0 Glad to see you following orders.\u00a0 How is your vision?<\/p>\n

\u201cClear as a bell, thanks.\u00a0 Can\u2019t do much besides loaf until these come off.\u201d\u00a0 He lifted his wrapped hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are they?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cImproving I think.\u00a0 The blisters are shrinking, and they don\u2019t hurt as much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take a look at them after I see Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Martin stepped onto the porch and leaned against the rail near Adam.\u00a0 \u201cA word with you, Adam; just between us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam lifted one eyebrow and look at the doctor for some time before replying.\u00a0 \u201cAs you will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou helped out quite a bit at the Bronson place in those last few weeks before \u2018Bronc\u2019 died didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey were neighbors.\u00a0 I did what I could.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA terrible death.\u00a0 He was kicked in the head, seemed to recover well, and then after a few weeks started to get headaches.\u00a0 They got worse and worse.\u00a0 There was slow bleeding into the brain with constantly increasing pressure and pain.\u00a0 The end came slowly with convulsions, blindness \u2013 he died in agony.\u00a0 It destroyed his family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd\u2026\u201d Adam\u2019s tone was cool, distant.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt occurred to me that when the headaches started you might have thought something similar was happening to you. When you rode into that fire, I wonder if you ever intended to ride out again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo offense, but I find hypothetical questions to be fairly pointless.\u00a0 Whatever you may say, you never really know what you\u2019ll do until the situation arises.\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you found that to be true in your own life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI take your point.\u00a0 I would like you to remember that I am a firm believer in doctor\/patient confidentiality should the need ever arise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll keep it in mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood up and shouldered the front door open for the doctor.\u00a0 When he had disappeared inside, the oldest Cartwright son stretched lazily, resumed his chair and sat gazing in deep appreciation at the play of sun and shadow across the majestic beauty of mountains and trees that surrounded his home.\u00a0 He had been so close; it was good to be alive<\/em>.<\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s Shakespearean quote is from Henry IV, Part 2, Act III, Scene I<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: \u00a0<\/strong>Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, blind, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0 When an accident leaves Adam suddenly blind, he and his family must come to terms with his drastically altered status.\u00a0 A poker game and a forest fire both have their impact.<\/p>\n

Advisory:\u00a0 This story contains one scene that includes explicit sexual activity.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 soft R\u00a0 (26,450 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9737,"featured_media":11501,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1005,23,690],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12861","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","category-ma-rated","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-690-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2753,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/BlackHatBrownStudBand.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41095,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=41095","url_meta":{"origin":12861,"position":0},"title":"Family Apart #2 – Kinda Awesome – by AMG","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"March 19, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Adam\u2019s twin brother Tim is on the ranch, getting used to his family he hadn\u2019t known until recently. Involves a hurt Adam, a hurt Joe (know my good will, Joe-girls), and a little cave-in... Enjoy. Rating and Reader Alerts:\u00a0 PG (nurses needed)\u00a0 \u00a0Words\u00a0 6,976 Part of the Family Series,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13631,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13631","url_meta":{"origin":12861,"position":1},"title":"Freedom from Fear (by JennieA)","author":"JennieA","date":"January 14, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 The aftermath of Joe's kidnapping and subsequent rescue. Rating:\u00a0 R\u00a0 (33,760) Due to the subject matter contained in this series, the stories are only available via e:mail from the author -- ryjennie@comcast.net","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12133,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12133","url_meta":{"origin":12861,"position":2},"title":"Frightened Beyond Reason (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"June 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12147,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12147","url_meta":{"origin":12861,"position":3},"title":"He Said Not To Tell (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"The author requests those who wish to read this series contact her via eMail: DLB1234@aol.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1-joe.jpg?fit=238%2C226&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2166,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2166","url_meta":{"origin":12861,"position":4},"title":"A Light in the Darkness (by pony)","author":"pony","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Adam Cartwright is coming home ... but the path is dark and lonely. Will there be a light at the end of the road? \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K (1,355 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12120,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12120","url_meta":{"origin":12861,"position":5},"title":"Blundered Seduction (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"December 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Caught with his pants down and in a compromising situation by the one person he'd least likely want to find him as such, Joe learns three valuable lessons; no one ever died of embarrassment, chose your friends carefully, and being 16 and still a virgin is nothing to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12861","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9737"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12861"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12861\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11501"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12861"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12861"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12861"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}