{"id":13019,"date":"2016-06-07T15:44:46","date_gmt":"2016-06-07T19:44:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13019"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:14:38","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:14:38","slug":"a-ghost-from-the-past-lyn-robinson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13019","title":{"rendered":"A Ghost from the Past (by Lyn Robinson)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> A man from Ben’s past arrives at the Ponderosa dredging up painful memories for Adam, and it’s up to Little Joe to help Adam set things right.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (11,900 words)<\/p>\n

A Ghost from the Past<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben came out of the bank and stood for a moment, trying to work out what to do next when a man hurried over \u201cBen Cartwright. It is Ben Cartwright ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned to the approaching man and for a moment he couldn\u2019t place him and then as though in a dream he could see Inger offering coffee to a younger version of the same man. \u201cJoe Payne?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe self same. Bin a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben moved over and offered his hand and the two men shook before Ben invited Payne to join him in a drink. They went over to the Palace and Ben bought drinks and they took them to a table in the corner Ben asked, \u201cHow is your wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe died near twenty years ago, sickly like my boy, remember he died on the trail, not like that boy of yours dark-haired kid, real hard worker for a little un.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam. Yes he still is a hard worker.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFull grown by now, even that big baby you had must be a man, had a strange name?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss. He\u2019s full-grown too or at least I hope so! As big a man as his mother predicted. I have a third son Joseph he is nearly eighteen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou married again? I never got round to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes but I lost her in a riding accident when my youngest was four. Enough of the past what are you doing in Virginia City?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Payne gave a rather garbled story of business with the railroad and then changed the subject to the Ponderosa. He had heard all about the ranch, Ben had managed to turn his dream into a reality.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben found himself only part listening, seeing Payne brought back so memories of Inger and the long days on the trail, the birth of his second son and Inger\u2019s delight in her beautiful big baby. Pulling himself back to the present, it was instinctive for Ben to invite Payne to join them at the ranch for a few days and the other man accepted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had already shown him to a guestroom and Payne had settled in when Ben heard three horses come in and knew his sons had arrived home. By the time the brothers had seen to their horses Payne had joined Ben for coffee by the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben came to his feet as the brothers came in \u201cGood to see you boys. We have a visitor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three of them moved over and Adam recognised him instantly and his youngest brother was surprised as he felt the sudden tension in his brother as they stood next to each other. Adam tried to hide his feelings and was glad when Hoss asked \u201cAin\u2019t you gonna introduce us Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben grinned of course \u201cI was just wondering if Adam remembered but he was only five. This is Joe Payne he was on the wagon train as we headed west to Ash Hollow and then from there to Fort Laramie. Do you remember Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam moved slightly forward and shook the older man\u2019s hand \u201cWelcome to the Ponderosa Sir. Of course I remember, you, your wife and your son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have grown some boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam raised his eyebrow at that comment but moved back and let his brothers say hello. He was desperately trying to hide the churning in his stomach.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss considered the newcomer \u201cDid you know my mother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly did young fella. I can tell you I remember your birth, biggest baby ever born on the trail. Your Ma was a lovely lady, real good with kids and animals.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam felt the excitement in his brother and bit back the angry words that had sprung to mind when he saw Payne. He made up his mind to go out for the evening and once Joe had also been introduced, Adam said, \u201cI\u2019m very sorry I shan\u2019t be here this evening I have an appointment in town.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glared at his son but Adam met his eye, \u201cI gave my word Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell of course Son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at Hoss and murmured, \u201cI thought he said he was tired and wanted an early night?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged \u201cDrop it Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam quickly washed and changed and rode out wanting to avoid any questions from his father. Not wanting to face anyone, he headed up to the lake and sat staring out over it with all too many memories. It was cold and after sitting by the lake for an hour Adam was cold through and he walked along the shore, memories from the train running through his mind. Interspersed with the memories of Payne were the deaths of his friend Tommy, Payne\u2019s son and even worse the death of his mother or at least the only one he\u2019d known.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had enjoyed the evening and Hoss had hung on every word. It meant so much to the big man to meet a man who had had known his mother. Payne seemed to remember every day on the trail and had all sorts of anecdotes that Ben had long forgotten.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was gone midnight when Adam got back and he was glad to see the house was dark. He went in quietly and moved over to the fire to warm up, pouring himself a brandy. He hadn\u2019t eaten but he wasn\u2019t hungry and having given himself quarter of an hour to warm up, he headed for bed. Even when he got into bed, he couldn\u2019t sleep but eventually he did doze off only to slide into a nightmare.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was woken by strange noises from the adjacent room and he got out of bed to investigate. He found his eldest brother threshing around in the bed, murmuring indistinguishably and sweating as though he had a high fever. Very worried Joe moved to hold his brother still and shook him gently trying to wake him. It seemed to take forever but eventually Adam\u2019s eyes open and he focused enough to see his little brother \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEasy brother, you were having a nightmare.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam eased himself up on the bed and Joe went over and wet a cloth, \u201cHere wipe your face, you\u2019ll feel better.\u201d Adam did as his brother suggested and Joe sat down next to the bed considering him anxiously \u201cYou okay Adam? Do you wanna talk?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat got you up?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou were talking in your sleep and when I came in you were threshing around.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, \u201cWhat was I saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged, \u201cI couldn\u2019t make out any words. I always used to feel better when I talked about my nightmares. Might find the same big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam forced a smile \u201cIt\u2019s okay Joe I\u2019m fine now. Thanks for coming in and I\u2019m sorry I disturbed you. Why don\u2019t you get back to bed we have a busy day tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wasn\u2019t surprised but at least Adam did look better so with a squeeze of his brother\u2019s arm he got to his feet \u201cI\u2019m just next door if you want anything. Night.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waited until the door closed and then eased himself out of bed washing down his face and torso, he sat down by the window not trusting himself to go back to sleep, the memories all too vivid.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At breakfast Ben announced with great delight that he had talked Joe Payne into staying for a couple of weeks. Hoss was obviously pleased and Joe couldn\u2019t help wondering if he was the only one who had seen the look of near panic on his eldest brother\u2019s face at the news. Adam didn\u2019t say anything much but managed to hide his feelings and soon excused himself, he had to go up to the timber camp. Ben and Hoss were both intrigued by a story that Payne was telling of a time Inger had cooked a superb breakfast and everyone but Ben had enjoyed it as he was off hunting and only Joe noticed that his eldest brother barely touched his food.<\/p>\n

Joe excused himself and followed Adam out to the barn but Adam busied himself with Sport and wasn\u2019t prepared to talk and Joe could only let him go, wondering what was going on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wasn\u2019t surprised when a message came from the lumber camp that Adam had to stay up there for the next couple of days but Ben was slightly annoyed. \u201cSorry about that Payne, but as you said my eldest son is a real hard worker.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even up at the lumber camp Adam found it impossible to sleep for long without nightmares and he slipped out to sleep well away from the men, not wanting to cause any comment. Tired out Adam found he managed about an hour before the past invaded his dreams and he woke up in a cold sweat. After the second occasion Adam gave up and spent the rest of the night updating the paperwork, before throwing himself into the hard physical labour of cutting down the trees. For the next two days Adam worked harder than any of the men, hardly eating, and with only a few odd dozes at night. The inevitable effect was to slow down his reactions so he was too slow to move when a tree fell and bounced off the ground moving off at a tangent. Johnny grabbed his arm and yanked the larger man out of the way but the tree caught Adam\u2019s right leg, scraping right down the shin. Adam collapsed as his leg wouldn\u2019t support him and Johnny helped him up and over to the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The older man, well used to minor injuries round the timber camps, knelt down and gently felt the leg \u201cDon\u2019t think it\u2019s broken Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Johnny. That was stupid I just wasn\u2019t paying any attention.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHappens when you\u2019re exhausted.\u201d Johnny patted the younger man\u2019s shoulder \u201cRelax a minute while I get some hot water, need to clean that up. Reckon I\u2019m gonna have to cut your pants.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed looking at his pants \u201cPity I liked this pair just got them comfortable, okay go ahead, there not any good for anything but rags now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Johnny slit the seam and gently eased the material and dirt from the tree trunk out of the wound. Adam\u2019s shin was torn and bruised from the knee practically to the ankle, with a glimmer of bone in one or two places but at least the bone didn\u2019t seem to be broken. Eventually Johnny was satisfied that he had it as clean as he could get it and picked up the whiskey bottle \u201cGonna hurt Adam but you don\u2019t want no infection.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust get on with it.\u201d Adam clenched his teeth as the spirit burnt into the wound and then tried to relax as Johnny bound up the wound. \u201cBest I can do for you Adam but you oughta head into town get Doc to have a look.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nothing I\u2019ve had a gashed shin before. Doubtless will again. Now let\u2019s get on.\u201d Adam was limping heavily by the end of the day but he was still doing his share and more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the house Hoss was spending every minute he could spare with Payne, who seemed to have an endless series of tales about the trail drive and especially about Inger. Hoss was delighted to hear about his mother, he had, over the years, heard every memory that his father or elder brother could dredge up and, after his uncle Gunnar died, had resigned himself to never knowing anything more. Now Payne had stories which often tied up with things Adam or his Pa had told him but there was that bit more, a different point of view and sometimes Payne had been there as his mother looked after Payne\u2019s son or chatted with his wife when noone else was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben enjoyed his middle son\u2019s delight and just assumed that his other sons were busy. Joe had rather left it to Hoss; it was part of his big brother\u2019s past but only very indirectly part of his own. Joe was far more concerned about his eldest brother and had just about decided to ride up to the lumber camp and join him when he saw Adam in town, just coming out of Doc\u2019s. Joe had been sent in for the mail and the last person he expected to see in town was his brother, but Adam had found his leg painful enough to decide not to take any chances so he had come to see Doc.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doc had checked the wound and wasn\u2019t surprised to find it was painful but Johnny had done a good job on cleaning it up and only time would really help. Apart from a few stitches in the worst two cuts and a rather neater bandage there was nothing he could do. He did offer some painkillers but wasn\u2019t surprised when Adam turned them down. Studying his old friend Paul said, \u201cBoth as a doctor and as a friend you look as though you could do with some sleep Adam. If it\u2019s keeping you awake maybe you ought to change your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust been busy Paul I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Adam walked out of Doc\u2019s he saw his little brother across the street and cursed softly under his breath, but avoiding Joe would just make him more curious and Adam limped over to join his brother. Joe hurried over to join him \u201cWhat happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing serious just an argument with a tree-trunk, cut and bruised nothing broken.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure you\u2019re alright big brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure, now come on I\u2019ll buy you a beer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned, \u201cYou sure that tree didn\u2019t hit your head? Suddenly getting all generous.\u201d Adam cuffed his brother in fun and then led the way over to the Palace. After a couple of beers Adam had relaxed a little but that just made his exhaustion more apparent. Joe knew he was pushing his luck but he couldn\u2019t hide his concern \u201cYou ain\u2019t going back to the lumber camp are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOnly came to town to collect some more stores I need to deliver them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can take them. You ought to go home, get some rest.\u201d Joe bit back the other comments that came to mind and, as Adam hesitated, he thought for a moment he\u2019d won. Adam stared down into his beer \u201cPa still got visitors?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned \u201cIf you mean Payne, yeah he\u2019s still there, seems to be settled in.\u201d He gripped Adam\u2019s arm \u201cWhy are you trying to avoid that guy? Sure he talks a lot and seems real lazy but…\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had pulled away \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it Joe. I\u2019m going back to the lumber camp.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019m coming with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t need two of us. Johnny is a good man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know that and I don\u2019t think he really needs either of us, but it isn\u2019t fair on Johnny to leave him the responsibility of an injured, exhausted man. I\u2019m coming to look after you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam lost his temper at that and walked away from his brother, but he was limping heavily and Joe had no difficulty in keeping up. Adam turned on him \u201cJust go on home Joe I have been looking after myself for a good number of years. I don\u2019t need a little brother hanging around fussing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gripped his arm \u201cAdam you have three choices. You go on home and I\u2019ll deliver the stores. You go to the lumber camp and I come with you or we both go home and get someone to take the stores up to the camp.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stopped and looked at his little brother but he knew Joe well and when he had that expression on his face nothing was going to change his mind. Knowing that Joe was right and he would be more of a liability than a help at the lumber camp he made up his mind. \u201cAlright you win. I\u2019ll borrow Cochise and go home, if you will bring Sport back for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure brother, you take it real easy on the way home Cooch will look after you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust don\u2019t let Sport get too full of himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe helped his brother up on the pinto and watched him leave town before getting on the wagon and heading out on the long ride to the timber camp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took his time on the ride home, for once in his life he really didn\u2019t want to be at the house. All too many memories assailed him and he could feel again the pain of that six-year old boy, desperately trying to look after his grieving father and new-born brother. While he was awake Adam knew that Payne couldn\u2019t hurt him any more but in the dead of night, it was the scared six-year old boy, who woke up close to screaming.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was checking out the horses in the corral to see what shoes needed changed while Hoss was busy at the blacksmith\u2019s forge in the barn when they heard a horse coming in. As soon as they realised that it was Adam on his youngest brother\u2019s horse all thought of work fled and they headed for him. Despite running Ben was behind Hoss as his big son reached Adam but he was in time to hear Hoss ask \u201cAre you alright brother? Where\u2019s Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To Ben\u2019s relief, Adam just grinned, \u201cCalm down both of you. I just met Joe in town and he\u2019s doing me a favour. He\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam eased himself out of the saddle and accepted Hoss\u2019 help to get down. His mask was back in place hiding his confusion and most of the tiredness but he did wince as his foot hit the ground. \u201cI met Joe in town. I was collecting fresh stores for the timber camp and checking with Doc. Caught a tree trunk across my leg, it\u2019s cut and bruised but no real harm done. Joe offered to swap, take the stores up to the camp and bring Sport back for me while I came home on Cochise with the mail. Joe wasn\u2019t exactly going to take no for an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben studied his eldest son for a moment almost sure that Adam was hiding something from him, but for now it seemed more important to get his son inside and check the damage. He called Kirk over \u201cPlease take Cochise, Hoss help your brother in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled ruefully \u201cI am quite capable of walking Pa and I promised little brother to look after that pinto.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can check later once I\u2019ve seen the damage. \u201c Ben insisted in a tone, which warned his sons he wasn\u2019t in the mood to discuss matters.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss took matters into his own hands pulling Adam\u2019s arm round his own broad shoulders and walking Adam inside. He was about to take Adam over to the sofa when Payne stood up and Adam tensed up and murmured \u201cHelp me up to my room please Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss did as he was asked but he had been too close to his brother to miss the sudden tension and the only possible cause was Payne. Thinking about that he realised just how much his brother had been avoiding the man ever since he arrived and Hoss, like Ben, knew there was something going on that he didn\u2019t know about and was determined to change that state of affairs. For now he concentrated on Adam\u2019s physical condition helping him out of the torn jeans and then knelt down to lift Adam\u2019s swollen heavily bandaged leg up onto the bed \u201cLooks as though you made a real mess of this. Those bandages do they need changing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head \u201cDoc did it in town, it\u2019ll hold until tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust how bad is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBruised and sore. Doc put half a dozen stitches in a couple of cuts but that\u2019s the worst of it. Promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why did you wanna come up here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam indicated the jeans his brother was holding \u201cNeed to change, dig me out a fresh pair will you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss accepted that and then as his father came in Hoss retreated, barely needing the look his father gave him. Adam lent back against the headboard holding his clean jeans and grinning broadly at his father \u201cHi Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben frowned and gently touched his leg \u201cSince when did you let your little brother tell you what to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSince he started talking sense and when I\u2019m feeling a mite sore. Pa I am fine. Doc has checked, no real damage and tomorrow, when the dressing needs changing, you can do it and satisfy your curiosity, but just now do you mind if I finish getting changed?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben grinned and gently squeezed his eldest son\u2019s shoulder \u201cSee you downstairs. Payne will be pleased to see you; we have been having a fine time reminiscing. Your brother is enjoying hearing some new stories about this mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Somehow Adam managed a smile \u201cSure Pa I just want to get washed up first.\u201d Ben left him to it and Adam wondered if he could just fall asleep on the bed, escape dinner. He was certainly tired enough but then if the nightmare came he might not be able to hide it from his father and whatever else happened he couldn\u2019t let his father know the truth. It was as impossible now as it had been for that six-year old child; just the reasons were a little different. Then his father was grieving for Inger but Adam knew his father felt guilty that he hadn\u2019t been able to provide his eldest son with the material possessions and the security that he had managed for his youngest and to a certain extent for Hoss. Ben had been forced to ask Adam to grow up too fast and Adam knew if his father found out now that he hadn\u2019t even protected his young son successfully that it would hurt far more than the bruises had ever hurt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waited as long as he dared and then with mask firmly in place he went to join his family at table. Joe wasn\u2019t back and might well not make it until morning; he would doubtless eat up at the lumber camp. Adam took his usual place and then to his horror found Payne move to sit next to him. It was hardly surprising as it was the normal position for a guest but with his little brother away he had assumed the man would use Joe\u2019s place. Adam felt as though something was crawling across his skin as Payne sat down and it took all his considerable will power not to cringe away from Payne but his stomach was churning and he really didn\u2019t want any food.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Barely taking in the conversation at table Adam took the bare minimum he thought he could get away with and tried to spread it across his plate, grateful that his father and Hoss were both laughing at another of Payne\u2019s stories. Adam forced a smile on his own face and then sat back wondering how long he would have to stay down to keep his father from being suspicious. In a way it was easier as he concentrated on the pleasure showing on his big brother\u2019s face and it slowly dawned on him that this was another person who must never be allowed to find out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Adam realised everyone was quiet and they were all looking at him. He put his fork down \u201cSorry I must be more tired than I thought. I was half asleep didn\u2019t hear what you said.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Payne\u2019s voice seemed to grate on him as the older man asked whether he remembered the foal that Ingrid had helped into the world and the way it followed her. Adam\u2019s smile wasn\u2019t forced as he thought about it and he chuckled \u201cI\u2019m not quite sure that foal had things worked out, it seemed to think it had two mothers one to feed it and one to pet it. Used to run between the horse and Ma. Do you remember Pa when Ma got into the wagon that little foal tried to jump in too?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss laughed at the vision that conjured up and as Hop Sing came in to collect the plates and bring the dessert Adam managed to drape his napkin across his plate and get rid of it and not even Ben realised he had barely touched the food. Adam poured out coffee and didn\u2019t bother with pie that wasn\u2019t particularly unusual; he didn\u2019t have such a sweet tooth as his brothers. Making the excuse that his leg was sore he went over to his favourite blue chair put his leg up on the table and settled down with a book. He was careful to turn the pages over at regular intervals but he had no idea at all what he was reading.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss had stayed at the table chatting with Payne for another hour but moved over by the fire as Ben got out the brandy. That was one offer that Adam wasn\u2019t going to refuse. As Ben passed him the glass he studied his eldest son \u201cYou look worn out Adam why don\u2019t you have an early night?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I might Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you need any pain killers for that leg?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks it\u2019s just sore, nothing much. I might just have a refill of this before I go up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben laughed \u201cHelp yourself.\u201d Twenty minutes later Adam headed upstairs, doing his best not to limp and once in his room he did something he rarely did and locked the door. Scared of nightmares which might wake the whole house Adam sat down by the window, later when everyone was quiet he\u2019d slip out up into the woods with his bedroll and try to get some sleep there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had delivered the stores up to the lumber camp and sitting over dinner he managed to find out just how his brother had been hurt. He also heard how Adam had taken to going off alone over night and just how tired his brother appeared to be. That crystallised Joe\u2019s own thinking and he decided he needed to get home and after he had had coffee he collected Sport and set out for the house. Joe wasn\u2019t at all sure what was going on with his eldest brother but it seemed he was the only person who had noticed anything and just maybe Adam would break the habit of a lifetime and let him help.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t often ride his brother\u2019s temperamental chestnut and it took him a few minutes to settle Sport who didn\u2019t like anyone other than his usual master. Once Joe had exerted his control he sat back and quite enjoyed the feel of the large powerful animal provided Sport was able to go at his own pace and not be slowed down he was a very smooth ride and certainly covered the ground. Even in the dark the trail was well defined and with Adam\u2019s propensity for riding in the dark Sport was used to it and seemed to know he was heading home to his own stable.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was late when Joe got back and the house was in darkness as he led Sport into the stable to give him a brush down and then get to bed himself. As he came out of the barn he saw a figure disappearing up into the trees and despite the darkness and the brief glimpse he had seen Joe knew it was his eldest brother. It was the same behaviour that Johnny had described and Joe could only imagine that his brother felt the need to stay away because he was still having nightmares and didn\u2019t want anyone to know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hesitated for a minute knowing how little Adam liked interference in his private affairs but Joe knew he wouldn\u2019t sleep until he had at least spoken to his brother so he followed.<\/p>\n

Adam heard someone coming and slipped behind a tree but then he heard his little brother softly call his name. Angry that he had been found out\u00a0 Adam moved out folding his arms as he lent against a tree \u201cWhat are you doing here Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe startled turned barely able to spot his brother in his black clothes against the tree \u201cI could ask the same thing! I saw you come up here as I came out of the stable and \u201c Joe hesitated but Adam knew him too well for anything but the truth to serve \u201cI was worried about you wanted to make sure you were alright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam could hear the deep concern in his brother\u2019s voice and the anger melted away \u201cNo need to worry about me I\u2019m fine. Its a long ride up to the camp and back you must be tired go to bed Joe I\u2019ll be in in a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why have you brought your bed roll out?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot now Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t carry on like this big brother you have to talk to someone. If you won\u2019t talk to Pa or Hoss then let me help. I\u2019m not a child anymore and in this case I\u2019m not as involved as the rest of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what you mean.\u201d Adam prevaricated, but his brother just gave a short laugh \u201cOf course you don\u2019t. I won\u2019t push it now Adam but please think about my offer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe moved over and gently gripped his brother\u2019s arm \u201cI don\u2019t like to see you making yourself sick, please let me help.\u201d Then he headed back to the house to his own bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam settled down and stared up at the stars, his little brother\u2019s affection helped and he dozed off and slept for nearly two hours before the nightmares came and he woke up sweating and knowing he had been making at least some noise. He walked around trying to calm down but he knew he wouldn\u2019t sleep again that night. Eventually standing over by the corral watching the horses as they slept he felt rather better and he thought back to Joe\u2019s comments. Joe obviously suspected something and maybe his brother was right and he could help. Joe was right about one thing Adam accepted that he couldn\u2019t go on as he was. He slipped back up to his room and washed and changed, feeling rather more human for a shave. Then hearing Hop Sing moving around Adam went down for coffee. He headed out to do the barn chores and avoid breakfast, leaving word with Hop Sing that he was going to check the herd in the south pasture.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was down very early for him beating the rest of his family and their guest. Hop Sing hustled in with food and coffee and Joe asked, \u201cHave you seen Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe gone already. South Pasture, check herd.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid he have any breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing shook his head \u201cNeeds eat. You take lunch to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI sure will you make up a nice lunch for him and me and this time I\u2019ll make sure big brother eats it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By mutual agreement the two men cut short their discussion as Ben and Hoss came downstairs and Joe joined them for breakfast. Shortly after that Payne appeared and Hoss suggested that he show their guest the small Hereford herd that he had been breeding, hoping to cross them with the local cattle and improve the herd. Ben was quite happy for his son to take the time, knowing just how much Hoss was enjoying this link with his mother.<\/p>\n

Joe sat back not commenting until Hoss left with Payne and then poured more coffee for both himself and his father. \u201cPa, how long is Mr Payne going to stay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was surprised by that question and pushed his chair back to study his youngest son<\/p>\n

\u201cStrange question Joseph. Mr Payne is an old friend and he is very welcome. I am thinking of going into business with him, railroad business.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does Adam think?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glared at his youngest son \u201cYour eldest brother does not make the business decisions round here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Pa, but you always say that Adam has a good business head.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I don\u2019t need him in this, I have known Joe Payne for more than twenty years.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe considered his father, but he could also see his eldest brother\u2019s exhausted face in the dim light the previous evening. \u201cPa, that\u2019s not really true. You knew Mr Payne for a few months twenty years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben got to his feet, anger very clear in every line of his body, \u201cI am very disappointed in you Joseph. I know the time that Mr Payne talks about was well before your birth and you may not be interested, but can\u2019t you see how much it means to your brothers and to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I know how much Hoss is enjoying it but you have more than one son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt like taking a strap to him as he said \u201cI know that and the youngest is disappointing me more than he has done in a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe found himself talking to his father\u2019s back as Ben turned and angrily walked away \u201cPa I wasn\u2019t talking about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave up, if he couldn\u2019t get through to his father maybe he could persuade Adam to talk to him. One thing Joe was very sure about, he didn\u2019t thing that the ranch should get involved with Payne, he didn\u2019t trust their guest further than he could throw him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe went out into the kitchen to get the lunch Hop Sing had promised and Hop Sing passed over a large package. \u201cYou make sure Mister Adam eat, he not touch food last night. You make him talk Little Joe, he need sleep, not get until he talk. You only one he can talk to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gripped the little man\u2019s shoulder affectionately, \u201cYou and I know that, now the only problem is to make big brother see it. I sure will try.\u201d Joe went out to saddle Cochise wondering why his father and Hoss were so oblivious of what was going on, when it was so obvious to him and Hop Sing. He knew that Adam was a good actor and could hide his feelings, but even so he felt his father should be able to see what was happening. Still it left it up to him to help and Joe headed out to find his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was exactly where he had said, checking over the herd on the South pasture, and he cursed under his breath as he saw his brother riding up, knowing exactly what Joe wanted.<\/p>\n

Joe came over \u201cHop Sing said you forgot to bring your lunch, so I thought I\u2019d bring it, see if I can help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The other wranglers shrugged at that it wasn\u2019t exactly unusual and they moved back to get on with their work, the momentary hope that Joe\u2019s arrival indicated something more interesting vanishing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t push just working alongside his brother until it got to lunchtime. Adam yelled at the other hands to take a break and then turned to look quizzically at Joe. He had been waiting for Joe to start questioning him ever since his brother\u2019s arrival and guessed now would signal Joe\u2019s chance. However when Joe started to talk he took his eldest brother totally by surprise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe lent on the saddle horn and considered his brother, \u201cYou once promised that any time I needed your help, you would find the time. In all the years since that promise you have never let me down. Now I\u2019m asking again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was the one plea that Adam couldn\u2019t turn down, remembering that promise given to a distraught little boy when first his mother died and then his father seemed to cut himself off from the family. \u201cAlright Joe what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe men can cope this afternoon, will you ride up to the lake with me? Please?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded and he moved over to the men issuing detailed orders for the afternoon work and then swung up on Sport, favouring his leg a little but moving easily enough with the chestnut as the brothers headed up to the lake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once there, Joe busied himself making a fire and putting coffee onto heat before getting out the food \u201cHop Sing is getting worried. He says I\u2019m to make you eat all the sandwiches and from what Johnny said you sure ought to be hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam tensed up, \u201cI didn\u2019t come here for you to fuss at me. I came because you said you wanted help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe put the package down and settled back his arms behind his neck, \u201cI do Adam. You see I have this older brother, who means an awful lot to me, and he is making himself sick. I need to know how to help him.\u201d Joe turned on his side resting on one elbow and looking up at his brother. \u201cIt\u2019s really worrying me Adam, partly because it seems that along with Hop Sing and the hands, I\u2019m the only person who has noticed anything is wrong and I find that very hard to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was quick in defence, \u201cDon\u2019t start blaming Pa or Hoss I can be a good actor when I want, guess I haven\u2019t bothered in front of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCould that be because you really want to talk and if you won\u2019t talk to Pa or Hoss, that only leaves me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared down at his little brother, not quite 18, and then slowly settled down next to Joe \u201cJust when did you do all this growing up little brother? You\u2019re right I can\u2019t carry on like this. I know it\u2019s ridiculous. Payne can\u2019t do anything to me I\u2019m a grown man, but in the middle of the night, in my dreams, I seem to revert to a six year old boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did Payne do to that six year old boy brother? I\u2019ve seen you almost cringe away from him as though his very presence causes pain. I know you very well Adam and I\u2019ve hardly ever seen you showing fear and when you do there\u2019s always an excellent reason, until now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat up hugging his knees and staring out over the lake. \u201cThere were only four wagons on the way to Ash Hollow, ours with Pa, Inger and me, the Paynes, him, his wife and young Tommy who was about my age. Then there were Simon and Rachel, funny I can\u2019t even remember their surname, and the Elliotts, husband and wife and a hired hand. I enjoyed having Tommy around. It wasn\u2019t often that there was another kid to play with and if we did stop in towns, everyone else knew each other and I was the odd one out. Once I got to know people it was always time to move on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam bit his lip, revealing more than he had intended, but his little brother just gently gripped his arm and didn\u2019t say anything letting Adam go on in his own time. \u201cThere weren\u2019t any real problems for me until Tommy died. Oh I knew Pa was worried but Ma was there and for once she could look after him, we were a real family.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe would have liked to ask more about that comment but had the sense to sit quiet and just let Adam reveal what he was ready to give. It was fully five minutes before Adam went on. \u201cPayne seemed to blame me for being alive when his son had died. I think he hated me. Ma was pregnant and Pa was very worried, it was a rough journey and Rockwell, our guide didn\u2019t give any consideration to women, pregnant or not, he pushed hard and they had to keep up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe bit his lip, thinking that a six-year old child must have found it very hard to keep up too, but he didn\u2019t dare say anything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPayne had a switch, well all the men did to keep the animals on the move. Anytime he got near me he used that switch. Always careful to keep it where it wouldn\u2019t show, the back of my calves and thighs and his favourite was round the ribs just above my belt. Places where I could hide it from Ma and Pa. I don\u2019t think I was ever free of bruises and once or twice, if I slipped when he hit me, then he would use his boot, thinking back I\u2019m sure at least once he cracked some ribs. I remember having to breathe shallowly or it hurt for ten days or so, but in those days I didn\u2019t know what it meant.\u201d Adam grinned ruefully, \u201cSounds daft put that way a few bruises I don\u2019t know why it bothers me now. If he took a switch to me now I\u2019d bend it round his ears and I\u2019ve been really hurt since, bullets, falls you know what I mean. He didn\u2019t really do any harm.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe couldn\u2019t help the protest, \u201cAdam, you were barely six.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam patted his brother\u2019s arm, \u201cDon\u2019t you remember? You used to tell me often enough six years old is real grown up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was quiet for fully ten minutes and Joe began to thing he had said all he was willing to, but then Adam said, \u201cWe finally reached Ash Hollow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe bit his lip \u201cHoss\u2019 mother died there didn\u2019t she?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was the end of the road, success. We had arrived at the way station. We were supposed to meet a bigger train there and head on to Fort Laramie, but they had already left. When we heard it was the first time I saw tears on Ma\u2019s face.\u201d Adam shook his head \u201cFor a few minutes it seemed so important and then the Indians appeared. I didn\u2019t really understand why at the time. Noone told me about the fight Rockwell had and the man he killed until probably ten years later. I just knew it was dangerous. Inger put Hoss in my arms and huddled over us in the corner but then Rockwell was hit and she kissed me, told me to look after Hoss, and went to help the men, reloading, even firing the rifles.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pulled himself to his feet and moved over to the edge, staring out unseeingly over the lake. Joe moved up close to his brother and put his arm round Adam\u2019s shoulders \u201cI think you need to finish this story Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never even told Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t my mother, just Hoss\u2019 and yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned at that and stared at Joe, \u201cMy mother died in Boston.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe but Inger was the only mother you really knew as a kid. By the time my Ma came along you might only have been a child in years but I reckon you had had to grow up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam felt the tears stinging his eyes as his little brother came closer to the truth than his father and Hoss ever had, despite how well they knew him. Fighting for control he turned on his heels and stared at the lake but Joe was right he needed to talk. Joe had to strain to hear as he carried on very quietly. \u201cI saw the arrow take her in the back. She fell. Rockwell broke the arrow off and turned her over, but I think I knew even then that I\u2019d lost my family again. Pa knelt and held her and suddenly he was crying. I never remembered Pa crying. I don\u2019t know how much I understood at the time when Rockwell spoke to Pa, but I knew he was going out to die and that he was doing it to save me and Hoss. I pulled the blanket back so he could see Hoss\u2019 face and he smiled at us and then he was gone.\u201d Adam bit his lip and rubbed his hand across his eyes, he wasn\u2019t going to give in to tears, he was a grown man not that scared boy.<\/p>\n

Joe just gripped his arm aware of tears in his own eyes, but far less bothered about them than his eldest brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI sat there for what seemed hours, Ma\u2019s blood trickled towards us and then Hoss started fussing, he was hungry. Eventually Rachel came and picked him up and took my hand and led me out. I couldn\u2019t eat, but Hoss did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe giggled, glad of the light relief, \u201cNothing\u2019s changed then!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gripped his brother\u2019s shoulder glad of the chance to get control and he even managed a smile. Eventually he went on \u201cThere had to be two funerals the next day. I asked Pa if I could go but I don\u2019t think he even knew I was there. Still he didn\u2019t say no. Payne said it was stupid nobody needed a kid under foot. He gave me a tremendous back-hander and knocked me off my feet.\u201d Adam gently felt his cheek, remembering the painful bruises.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere was Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was standing there, but although his body was there, his brain was off somewhere with Inger. I don\u2019t know how much you remember of the weeks just after your mother died?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToo much in some ways I know Pa was never there, but I had you and Hoss, especially you.\u201d Joe sat and stared at his big brother as he suddenly put together things that he had known but never related. \u201cI was four and I was devastated. Pa never came but you did. When I had nightmares or was scared you came and Hoss helped where he could. Hoss was older than you were when Inger died and most of the time you looked after him too. Who looked after you and Hoss when Inger died?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRachel and Mrs Payne made sure we were fed and had clean clothes, especially Hoss, he got through more diapers that any other baby, or at least I thought so at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho came when you had nightmares?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged, \u201cI had to look after Hoss, there wasn\u2019t time for nightmares.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe showed his disbelief at that but didn\u2019t push it, \u201cAnd Payne?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe pushed on, fast as we could, to try and catch up with the bigger train. The trail was clear enough, lots of wagons, and everyone was scared so we pushed hard. I tried to keep out of his way and as I had to look after Hoss, that wasn\u2019t too hard during the day I drove the wagon most of the time with Hoss just behind me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared at him in disbelief, \u201cYou were six.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was always behind one of the others and the horses sorta followed on, if things got hard Pa came back and helped. There wasn\u2019t anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone had to act as scout now that we\u2019d lost our guide.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell yeah I can understand that but why Pa? He had two young kids and noone else to tend them, from what you said all the other men were only responsible for a full grown woman or even nobody.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t want to be round us just then.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe showed his compassion for his brother \u201cOh Adam.\u201d He stared at his eldest brother, remembering how grateful he had been for his eldest brother when his Pa had turned in on himself. Adam not very much older, hadn\u2019t had anyone, and had been responsible for a young baby. Joe saw his brother withdraw and he quickly turned back to the main point, \u201cWhat about Payne?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe seemed to find it amusing, during the day it was just sly comments and the occasional switch across my thighs, but it was my job to collect firewood and each time we stopped I had to go and find some. Payne used to follow me, it gave him a chance to use his favourite switch and he could take what I\u2019d collected. I\u2019d have to start again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t Pa notice?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes yelled at me for being so slow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell him Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was grieving.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo were you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled at his little brother being so protective of that six-year old child Adam had once been. \u201cI couldn\u2019t Joe. All my life I had been trying to protect Pa. I thought I was grown up, looking after Hoss, but even before that. I always tried to hide it if I was tired or hungry. Pa had such a hard time; there wasn\u2019t any money for the journey. So often he had to take any job he could just to give me food and I know he went without many a night, so that I had something even if it was just bread and milk. I had to stay in the wagon or a small room in a lodging house while he worked and try not to let him see how much I needed him to come home. I was not going to make matters worse while he was in such pain over Ma\u2019s death.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe thought about that for a long minute and he studied his brother. Ben had told him more than once that Adam had had to grow up fast, when he had grown impatient at his serious older brother, only now did he dimly begin to understand what his father had meant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did Payne leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAt Fort Laramie. Much to my delight he joined a group going to Oregon while we carried onto California. Pa was taking more interest in us, which was a good thing as I could barely carry Hoss by then. He grew fast, nearly broke my arms as I lugged him around. Things slowly improved and the bruises healed as we headed on towards our new home here. I didn\u2019t give Payne another thought until I saw him sitting by the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay I guess I can understand why you didn\u2019t tell Pa back then but why don\u2019t you tell him now? Payne would be out without his boots touching the ground.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve seen how much Hoss is enjoying hearing about his mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre the stories true?\u201d
\nAdam considered that, he had only heard a few of them having deliberately kept his distance. \u201cMaybe he exaggerates, tells things he wasn\u2019t involved in as though he was there, but I haven\u2019t heard any lies.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEven so Hoss would be the first to say throw him out if he knew what Payne did to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich is why you won\u2019t say a word little brother. Nothing can change the bruises I took as a six year old and he hasn\u2019t hurt me now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou hurt yourself, because you\u2019re so tired and hardly eating.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMemories Joe, noone else is responsible for my memories. I think having talked it out I feel better. You were right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEven if you won\u2019t tell Hoss at least tell Pa, he can ease Payne out quietly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned away angrily but Joe wasn\u2019t having that and grabbed his arm \u201cYou\u2019ve explained the rest to me now explain that comment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared at the lake for a minute but he decided Joe deserved an answer, \u201cPa sometimes blames himself because he couldn\u2019t give me quite the same security and material possessions he managed for you and to a lesser extent Hoss. It was circumstances and if he hadn\u2019t had the strength to follow his dream after my mother died, we wouldn\u2019t have the Ponderosa and I probably wouldn\u2019t have two brothers to torment me and,\u201d Adam hesitated, then smiled down at his little brother \u201c And to look after me. He did the best he could at the time and noone can do more. I will never make him feel bad about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe could understand that but he wanted Payne out of his house. \u201cOkay so we can\u2019t use what he did in the past to get rid of him, but do you trust him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head \u201cNo. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa is thinking of going into business with him, railroad business. I suggested he talk to you about it and he nearly bit my head off.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam considered that and didn\u2019t like the idea at all. \u201cRight Little Brother I think you and I are going into town and we\u2019ll run a few checks on Mr Payne. I\u2019ll let him away with what he did in the past but he\u2019s not going to get his hand on any part of the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned happily, seeing the brother he knew back, light of battle in his eyes and very willing to go along and do anything at all that he could to help. As they headed towards town Joe spotted one of their hands and cut over to Hank giving him a message for their father to say that both he and Adam would be staying in town overnight. When he rejoined his brother Adam raised a questioning eyebrow. Joe grinned, “Just staying on the right side of Hop Sing for once, letting him know that we won’t be in for supper.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, accepting what Joe said and for once not noticing the slightly guilty look his younger brother wore, as he tried to decide how best to get the information he wanted. By the time they reached town he had decided exactly who to contact, starting with Roy Coffee and Mr Harris, the bank manager. Roy wasn\u2019t in his office but Adam helped himself to some coffee and then wrote out a short telegram and gave it to Joe along with a list of seven names, three in San Francisco, one in Placerville and the other three in Sacramento. He sent Joe off to the telegraph office and sat down to wait for Roy, arranging to meet up at the Palace later. Adam was glad of a few minutes alone as he waited for Roy, thinking back over the events of the day with his little brother seemingly growing up in front of his eyes. Adam was honest enough to realise that Joe hadn\u2019t changed, maybe he had just finally noticed his little brother was full-grown.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy came in and considered his old friend, Adam was lost in thought as he sipped coffee. Roy was worried, Adam hadn\u2019t even noticed him coming in which was most unusual and having relaxed a little his exhaustion was even more apparent. Roy came over and gripped his shoulder, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure Roy, but I need to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam got up and went over to top up his coffee and, when Roy nodded, got him one as well. Roy had taken his own seat and Adam perched on the corner of the desk, \u201cI need your help Roy but it has to be kept quiet, just between us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell now that depends Adam. I\u2019m gonna have to have a few more details \u2018fore I can agree to that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam knew that Roy was well within his rights and he had to trust in the sheriff. \u201cOkay Look I\u2019m worried about the guy we have staying with us, Joe Payne. He wants Pa to get involved in some railway deal. I just want to find out a little more about him and about the deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought your Pa had known him for twenty years?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged \u201cMore precisely he knew him for a short time more than twenty years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou knew him too didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was a young kid, Hoss just born.\u201d Adam turned away not wanting Roy to read anything in his face, but the wily old sheriff spotted the tension in his whole body and backed off. \u201cOkay son you got my help and I won\u2019t say nothing to your Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOr Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Hoss too. What about Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s helping me. Could you get in touch with some of your colleagues and check if they know anything about him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you suspect?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure, maybe he\u2019s just talking big, but just maybe he\u2019s a con-man. If so he\u2019s probably done it before.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get started right away. You staying in town tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot sure, but I\u2019ll be back tomorrow. Thanks Roy.\u201d Adam headed across the street to the bank and was in luck as Mr Harris was alone in his office. The bank manager knew that Adam dealt with many of the business matters for the ranch and wasn\u2019t particularly surprised when Adam asked him what he knew about the railway project being suggested by Payne. Mr Harris frowned, \u201cYour father mentioned it to me, but he wasn\u2019t very clear on the details. All he said was that it was a proposed line from Carson City to Placerville.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t say who the surveyor was?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo sorry. Why don\u2019t you ask your father?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been a mite busy and I haven\u2019t seen a lot of him recently, thought I\u2019d get a few checks started. I just need the name of the proposed road, Pa mentioned two or three different ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Harris went and got out a slim file. \u201cI made a few notes when Ben first mentioned it, he said it was the California\/Nevada road but there wasn\u2019t a surveyor mentioned.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you run any checks?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI offered but your father didn\u2019t seem to think it was necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam rubbed his hand across his mouth, trying to think how to phrase it without being too obvious but there was no real way, and he said briefly, \u201cI never like to make investments without knowing exactly who I\u2019m dealing with.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSensible. I take it you\u2019d like me to make all the usual checks?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes please and could you report the results to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Harris frowned slightly seeing everything Adam didn\u2019t want him to, but he knew just how much Ben trusted his eldest son and as he had been worried by Ben\u2019s attitude he was glad to see Adam taking an interest. \u201cCertainly Adam, I know Ben is very busy just now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was more grateful for the banker\u2019s attitude than he could have said but for once it was clear on his face. It seemed that his acting ability was at a low ebb with lack of sleep. Grateful for the help he\u2019d been offered Adam headed over to the saloon to join his brother and get a beer. To his surprise Joe wasn\u2019t there yet so Adam got a beer and went over to a corner table. He said hello to Dan de Quille but shook his head at Dan\u2019s offer of a seat, the last thing he needed at the moment was the reporter\u2019s questions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe came in five minutes later and, grabbing a beer, he joined his brother. Joe had been delayed by a side trip to the International house, where he had booked a room for the night. He sat down and downed half his beer, \u201cAll telegrams sent and Frank will bring over any answers. I told him we\u2019d be at the International having a meal.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t expect there will be anything much at least until tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe carefully bent his head over his glass not catching his brother\u2019s eye, \u201cThat\u2019s why I thought it was sensible to take a room for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was close to panic at that thought, the last thing he needed was to disturb a whole hotel and have his nightmares become common knowledge. \u201cNo. You can use it, I\u2019m going home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell at least let\u2019s go eat.\u201d Adam accepted that much but he was still not really hungry and pushed his plate away more than half full. Joe finished his own and then asked, \u201cAt least come upstairs with me and let me have my say before you head home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, he owed his little brother that much. Joe went up and stared out of the window,\u00a0 letting Adam have privacy, \u201cAdam you\u2019re gonna sleep out again aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam wouldn\u2019t answer, he wouldn\u2019t admit it, but couldn\u2019t deny it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe very tentatively said, \u201cYou\u2019ve gotta get some sleep big brother. Maybe having talked things out you might sleep tonight anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if I don\u2019t? I can\u2019t risk waking the whole hotel!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned and went over to his brother, who had sunk down on the bed. Joe gripped his shoulders \u201cLook I\u2019ll be here. If you start making a noise I\u2019ll wake you up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled at his brother \u201cJoe you\u2019d sleep through an earthquake. I could probably wake the whole place before I woke you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll stay awake, if that\u2019s what it takes.\u201d Joe said earnestly and Adam couldn\u2019t help responding to the affection so clear on his brother\u2019s face. \u201cOkay little brother I\u2019ll risk it, if you will. Maybe you\u2019re right I do feel a lot better for talking and I am tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSettle down, I\u2019ll join you in a bit and I\u2019ll wake you if any news comes in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gripped his brother\u2019s neck affectionately for a moment and then pulled his boots off and settled down. Joe tucked a cover round him and went to settle down by the window looking out, but seeing the six year old boy on the long trek across the country. It was very late when he slipped in next to Adam, but his brother was still sleeping peacefully. Joe had a very restless night, but Adam didn\u2019t stir and woke up the following morning feeling one hundred percent better. Joe was snoring quietly next to him, the blankets on the floor. Adam eased up resting on one elbow and considered his little brother, they made a good team, until now he hadn\u2019t realised how good.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By the time Joe woke up Adam had arranged for coffee to be delivered to the room and breakfast was on its way. Joe slowly surfaced and gratefully took the coffee Adam offered him. Once he was fully awake he studied his brother intently. Adam smiled at him \u201cIt\u2019s alright little brother, for once in your life you were proved right. I slept like a log and feel much better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned broadly; \u201cRight what do we do now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEat breakfast. I think I\u2019m ready to rival Hoss this morning and then we check to see if any news has come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That suited Joe and he made sure that he got some food even if Adam fulfilled his threat and ate ravenously. Then the brothers wended their way down to the telegraph office. Frank grinned at his friend as Joe came in, \u201cHey I was just about to come looking for you, answers to your telegrams have been burning up the wires.\u201d He handed a sheaf of telegraphs to Joe, who handed half of them, over to Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The brothers read them intently and then swapped, not that it made much difference, virtually all told the same story about the small time con-man who had got out of town just ahead of a tar and feathering. Adam collected all of them carefully and put them in his pocket. \u201cLet\u2019s go and see Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy had had three answers to his requests for information, all warned him about letting anyone getting involved in business dealings with him but he wasn\u2019t actually wanted anywhere, he was small time. As Adam came in Roy passed him a sheaf of papers \u201cA small time waster. There don\u2019t seem to be any railroad, you just warn your Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled tautly, \u201cPa is far too good a business man to invest in a fraud. Thanks Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a cup of coffee Adam led the way over to the bank, where Mr Harris had more confirmation that there wasn\u2019t any California\/Nevada railroad. Adam thanked him for the checks he\u2019d made and then led the way to the livery stable to collect their horses.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The brothers rode out in silence and they were halfway home before Joe asked the question, which had been bothering him all morning. \u201cWhat do we do now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPayne has wanted a chance to talk to me alone ever since he got here. Now he will get it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you going to tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust let him see some of the telegrams we\u2019ve had and make it very clear that he isn\u2019t getting any money out of the Ponderosa. Let him move on if he will, with what reputation he has intact.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a con-man and thief!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou read the telegrams same as I did. Lots of suspicion no real proof and do you want to tell Pa or Hoss what he is?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe thought about that \u201cBut if we just drive him off won\u2019t he just try it again on someone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course he will, in some men it\u2019s in their blood, but we can\u2019t protect the world. I can and will protect Pa and Hoss. From the reports we have he isn\u2019t exactly good at it, so we put the fear of God into him and at least get him out of Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned at his brother \u201cSounds fair to me. What do you want me to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cProtect my back just as you\u2019ve been doing.\u201d Adam gripped his brother\u2019s arm \u201cMade a real good job of it so far.\u201d The affection was very clear in his voice and in his eyes and Joe felt at least ten-foot tall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The brothers were in luck, Ben and Hoss had ridden out to check the main herd and Payne was on his own, sitting over a very late breakfast while Hop Sing murmured angrily under his breath. Joe looked at his oldest brother and taking Hop Sing\u2019s arm led him into the kitchen, although once there he left the door open a crack and was listening intently. Hop Sing quickly joined him, he didn\u2019t like Payne and knew that number one son wasn\u2019t at ease in his presence, so now that Adam was seeking him out, Hop Sing wanted to know why.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam poured himself a coffee and pulling a chair over he turned it round, sitting down and folding his arms along the back. \u201cSeems to me it\u2019s about time we had a chat Mr Payne.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBit late now for you to start complaining to your Pa, boy.\u201d Payne sneered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have no intention of saying anything to my Pa. On the other hand you aren\u2019t going to be saying anything much to him either. A brief explanation of how urgent business back east means that your stay has to be cut short.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow why should I do that? I\u2019m real comfortable right here and your Pa and your big brother they are really enjoying me being here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah well you\u2019re the same no account useless kid, who got under my feet, when my son had died. Why should you be alive when he died?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGod is the only one who can answer that question.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I answered it then and I get the same answer now. I\u2019d love to kill you but I ain\u2019t no killer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo just a con-man and would be thief.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Payne glared at him but Adam held out the sheaf of telegrams he had in his pocket. \u201cI could show these to my father and you might find yourself in jail, he\u2019s not as practical as I am. Or maybe I could have them printed in town; the chief reporter on the Territorial Enterprise is a very good friend of mine. That paper would haunt you for the rest of your life. I won\u2019t do either of those things if you explain why you\u2019re leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Payne shivered as he looked through the telegrams, maybe not enough to put him in jail, but with the similar pattern in place after place, many a jury would convict him. He stared at Adam and, as his mind travelled back over the years, he knew he couldn\u2019t expect any mercy from the kid he\u2019d abused back then. Throughout his life he\u2019d run whenever things got awkward and this was no different so he nodded slowly, \u201cI\u2019ll go pack.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMake sure you don\u2019t take with you anything you didn\u2019t bring here.\u201d Adam said icily, \u201cYou make a real good job of persuading my father and brother that it\u2019s just business calling you away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Payne glared at him but headed upstairs to do as he\u2019d been ordered. Joe came out to join his brother as Payne reached the landing. \u201cDo you think he\u2019ll do as you said?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, \u201cHe\u2019s a coward and he\u2019s getting out with his skin intact, I think he will. You just make sure that you don\u2019t give anything away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss came back for lunch and were surprised to see Payne\u2019s bags packed, sitting on the credenza. Adam and Joe had taken the telegrams and headed out to the corrals to work some of the stock they were training, not wanting to be there when their father arrived. Adam had spoken to Hop Sing, who was equally determined to get Payne out of his house, and left his old friend with a watching brief. If Payne tried anything Hop Sing would fetch them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss frowned as Payne came down the stairs, \u201cYou leaving Mr Payne?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes I\u2019m afraid I have to. A message from the telegraph in town, there is a slight problem with the right of way which needs my attention.\u201d He smiled at the big man; \u201cI have really enjoyed my stay with you and your father. I hope it won\u2019t be nearly as long this time before we meet again Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben frowned hearing a very odd note in Payne\u2019s voice but Hoss seemed to accept it at face value and so Ben let it go for now. \u201cYou\u2019ll stop for lunch at least?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo if I head out now I\u2019ll just make the afternoon stage for Sacramento. If I could prevail upon your good nature to loan me your buggy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, just leave it at the livery one of the boys can pick it up tomorrow.\u201d Ben turned to his big son \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go and get old Betsy hitched up for Mr Payne.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Hoss had gone out, Ben frowned, \u201cIs there something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA problem over one of the rights of way. I thought it was all settled but you know what lawyers are like. Good job you hadn\u2019t invested anything yet. I\u2019d hate for you to be in on anything less than a certainty, after all your hospitality.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded slowly but somehow Payne\u2019s words sounded false, still the man was leaving so maybe it didn\u2019t matter and he was surprised just how glad he was as the buggy disappeared from sight. He found himself thinking it wouldn\u2019t be a bad thing if it was another twenty years before they saw Payne again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Joe watched the buggy head down the road from the training corral and grinned at each other. They had achieved what they wanted, Payne was gone and their father and brother were none the wiser. Adam moved over next to his little brother and rested his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder, \u201cThanks for being there for me Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned, delighted by his brother\u2019s comment but he just shrugged, \u201cThat\u2019s what brothers are for!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Ben Cartwright,\u00a0Hoss Cartwright,\u00a0Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: A man from Ben’s past arrives at the Ponderosa dredging up painful memories for Adam, and it’s up to Little Joe to help Adam set things right.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (11,900 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":63,"featured_media":10704,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3710,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/HP8b.jpg?fit=636%2C520&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5412,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5412","url_meta":{"origin":13019,"position":0},"title":"Ghost of Cartwrights Past (by Bonanzaluver)","author":"Bonanzaluver","date":"December 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Ben Cartwright forgets the true meaning of Christmas to the dismay of his sons but gets it back with some unexpected help in this Bonanza twist of a\u00a0classic tale. You may recognize what tale I'm talking about once you read it! \u00a0Rated:\u00a0K+ (3,570 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/renotrip.jpg?fit=1182%2C778&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/renotrip.jpg?fit=1182%2C778&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/renotrip.jpg?fit=1182%2C778&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/renotrip.jpg?fit=1182%2C778&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/renotrip.jpg?fit=1182%2C778&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5454,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5454","url_meta":{"origin":13019,"position":1},"title":"Autumn’s Surprise (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Autumn is setting around the Ponderosa and with it comes a very dear and long awaited surprise.\u00a0 \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (1,180 words) Autumn Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12319,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12319","url_meta":{"origin":13019,"position":2},"title":"That’s How it Felt (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"October 1, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A revengeful young man seeks out the Cartwrights. One of them is doomed to be hung, but which one and why? Rated:\u00a0 PG 13 for mild violence\u00a0 (12,840 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-9.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5793,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5793","url_meta":{"origin":13019,"position":3},"title":"The Timber Contract (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"November 17, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 An everyday business venture takes an unexpected turn for Ben Cartwright Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 (9,600 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ponderosapine.jpg?fit=270%2C404&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":49493,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49493","url_meta":{"origin":13019,"position":4},"title":"The Game of Revenge (by TinaO)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"April 22, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0Will man's need for revenge break the heart of the remaining Cartwrights? Rating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 (9,300 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":27954,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=27954","url_meta":{"origin":13019,"position":5},"title":"Driven by Hate (by StephanieJ)","author":"StephanieJ","date":"May 26, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A man driven by hate uses Joe as a weapon to bring Ben to his knees. 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