{"id":13769,"date":"2017-01-11T13:49:21","date_gmt":"2017-01-11T18:49:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13769"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:41:19","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:41:19","slug":"the-real-man-smiles-in-trouble","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13769","title":{"rendered":"The Real Man Smiles in Trouble (by McFair_58)"},"content":{"rendered":"

SUMMARY:\u00a0 <\/strong>Joe is attacked. At first it seems the motive was robbery, but all too soon it becomes clear that something devastating has happened to the youngest Cartwright son. As the truth comes out, the Cartwright men face a challenge none of them could have conceived; one that calls upon them to look deep within themselves to find a way to save Joe.<\/p>\n

RATED M:<\/strong>\u00a0This story is rated M for adult situations and themes including sexual assault, sexual innuendo, abusive behavior, violence and brutality.\u00a0 It contains mild adult language.\u00a0 WARNING: This story may not be appropriate for younger or more sensitive readers.<\/p>\n

(72,000 words)<\/p>\n

All known and public characters belong to those who created them. \u00a0All new characters belong to the author. \u00a0There is no intent to infringe on copyright and no money is being made – just friends and warm hearts hopefully!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**This story is rated M for adult situations and themes including sexual assault, strong sexual innuendo , abusive behavior, violence and brutality.\u00a0 It contains mild adult language.\u00a0 WARNING: This story may not be appropriate for younger or more sensitive readers.**<\/p>\n

The Real Man Smiles in Trouble\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

PART ONE<\/p>\n

ONE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright sat bolt upright in bed.\u00a0 Sweat rolled off his tanned skin, wetting the linens, as a tremor of fear shuddered though him.\u00a0 He remained where he was for several seconds, his heart hammering in his chest and his knuckles white where they gripped the scrunched bedclothes, and then shifted and tossed off the coverlet.\u00a0 Throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, he stood up.\u00a0 Unnerved, Adam walked to the window and looked out, seeking to find some order in the world of nature outside.\u00a0 He had a vague memory of the night terror he had awakened from, but \u2018vague\u2019 was the word.\u00a0 Only an impression remained of the desperate moment that had jolted him back to reality \u2013 someone he loved was going to die and there was nothing he could do.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure who it was, but he thought it might have been Joe.<\/p>\n

Adam sighed and ran a hand along the back of his neck.\u00a0 Of course, it was Joe \u2013 who else would he feel that <\/em>protective of?<\/p>\n

His relationship with his nineteen year old sibling was complicated, and that complication often engendered hard feelings.\u00a0 They\u2019d knocked heads more times than he cared to count from the time his little brother had been old enough to walk.\u00a0 The problem was, most of the time he felt more like Joe\u2019s second father than his brother.\u00a0 It\u2019d been that way since he was born.\u00a0 Adam pursed his lips and shook his head.\u00a0 They\u2019d had some knockdown drag-outs over the years, arguing and fighting over everything from Joe\u2019s penchant for swordplay to his inevitable raucous and often dangerous nights on the town.<\/p>\n

He had to admit, though, that those were the times he enjoyed the most, the times when he pushed his little brother to the edge and watched Joe mature before his eyes, watched him make mistakes and, occasionally \u2013 just occasionally \u2013 show him<\/em> how wrong he was.\u00a0 They were so different, the three of them, with their different mothers, and yet there was a common tie that bound them all.\u00a0 That was their pa, of course.\u00a0 Turning so he was facing into the room, Adam sat half-on and half-off the window sill.\u00a0 The only reason for the night terror he could come up with was that he was worried about Joe because his brother was late getting home.\u00a0 They had expected Joe before the sun went down and now, here it was, four o\u2019clock in the morning and he still hadn\u2019t showed.\u00a0 At least, he thought he hadn\u2019t.\u00a0 Then again, he hadn\u2019t checked Joe\u2019s room since going to bed so there was no knowing if he had<\/em> come in.\u00a0 For a minute Adam struggled with himself.\u00a0 It was hard for him to think of Joe as a man, but that\u2019s what his baby brother was \u2013 or at least was becoming.<\/em>\u00a0 He really shouldn\u2019t<\/em> go down the hall and open Joe\u2019s door to peek in and see if he was in bed.\u00a0 Really, he shouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Of course, he would.<\/p>\n

After pulling his burgundy robe on over his nightshirt, Adam padded down the hall silently in his bare feet.\u00a0 He hesitated outside of Joe\u2019s room and considered what he would say if Joe was<\/em> behind the door and awake.\u00a0 He wanted his brother to know that he trusted him and that he did <\/em>think of him as a man, albeit a young inexperienced one.\u00a0 Acting like a nursemaid wasn\u2019t going to go very far toward accomplishing that goal or<\/em> gaining Joe\u2019s confidence.\u00a0 As the black-haired man stood there, debating his course of action, he heard the front door of the ranch house open.\u00a0 A moment later he heard voices as well.\u00a0 Apparently Pa had been as concerned as him and had waited up for Joe, probably in the big blue chair by the fire.\u00a0 Adam laughed.\u00a0 That chair should have been threadbare and broken down by now considering all of the long hours their father had occupied it waiting for one or all of them to show.<\/p>\n

When he heard footsteps on the stair, Adam backed into the shadows.\u00a0 He watched his brother as he appeared at the top still dressed in his work clothes.\u00a0 Joe was angry, he could tell.\u00a0 Probably because their father had waited up for him.\u00a0 Joe was nearing twenty and, to him, he was past the age where their pa should be tapping his toe and counting the minutes until he came in.<\/p>\n

Adam snorted.\u00a0 Good luck with that one. Their pa still waited up on him!<\/em><\/p>\n

As Joe moved slowly down the corridor toward his room, he decided to say nothing.\u00a0 Little brother would think he had been waiting up too, and from the look of him talking would do little, if any good.\u00a0 Joe’s lithe form was rigid with anger.\u00a0 His fingers opened and closed in controlled rage.\u00a0 When he came to his door, he gripped the knob with force, his knuckles going white.\u00a0 Then, suddenly, all motion ceased.\u00a0 Joe just stood there.\u00a0 A moment later, with a sigh, his brother rested his forehead on the door.<\/p>\n

Adam hesitated.\u00a0 Then, carefully and silently as he could, he edged back toward his own room.\u00a0\u00a0 Once there he reached back and opened the door noiselessly and then closed it, making a deliberate sound.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head jerked up as Adam stepped into the light that spilled into the corridor and yawned.\u00a0 Blinking, he asked, \u201cYou just getting home, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother turned toward him, his jaw tight.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s it to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, boy!\u201d Adam said, holding up a hand.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just asking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo how come you\u2019re <\/em>waiting up for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t waiting up for you,\u201d the black-haired man answered.\u00a0 \u201cI was heading downstairs for something to eat.\u00a0 You just happened <\/em>to be in corridor \u2013 fully dressed.\u00a0 Make\u2019s a man wonder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grimaced.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa give you a dressing down?\u201d he asked with a half-smile.<\/p>\n

His brother nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cMay I ask<\/em> what you were<\/em> doing out until four o\u2019clock in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s green eyes flashed.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s none of your business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cPardon me for showing interest in my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared at him hard. \u201cIf you gotta know, I was at the Bucket of Blood playing poker with Jude and Beck.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam resisted the urge to say \u2018oh\u2019, because he knew an entire dictionary would be contained in that one word.<\/p>\n

His little brother\u2019s jaw set.\u00a0 \u201cAre you gonna tell me Jude\u2019s not the \u2018right\u2019 kind of company a young man should keep too?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had considered it, but quickly dismissed any such discussion as pointless.\u00a0 He\u2019d been a hotheaded young man once too \u2013 though not nearly as fiery as Joe \u2013 and he knew how much good it had done for his father to tell him he<\/em> did not approve of the company he was keeping.<\/p>\n

Little to none.<\/p>\n

Adam answered honestly. \u201cJoe, I have to admit that Jude\u2019s not one of my favorite people.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know why.\u00a0 There was just something about Jude.\u00a0 He was a newcomer to the town and from what he had heard, had spent most of his life as a drifter.\u00a0 Still, so had about half of their ranch hands.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s hazel eyes flicked to Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s handsome countenance was marred by a frown.\u00a0 It seemed to him that baby brother was making deliberate choices meant to challenge what their father expected of him.\u00a0 It was almost as if, by befriending a man their pa disapproved of, Joe thought he was proving something.<\/p>\n

Heaven only knew what!<\/p>\n

Adam drew a breath.\u00a0 \u201cJoe,\u00a0 I could lecture you like Pa, but I\u2019m not going to.\u00a0 I\u2019m not<\/em> your father and you \u2018re old enough to make your own choices.\u00a0 I just hope they\u2019re wise ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe remained silent a moment.\u00a0 During the interval some of the tension left his slight frame.\u00a0 When he spoke, it was to ask a question.\u00a0 \u201cWhy does Pa hate Jude so much?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think Pa hates Jude, Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that he doesn\u2019t know him \u2013 or the company he keeps.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused.\u00a0 \u201cYou said Bexley was with you too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, he was there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley was a friend of Jude Lowery\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cSounds like you might be none too fond of Bexley yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Jude likes him.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment the sound of someone mounting the stairs drew their attention.\u00a0 Adam turned toward it to find their father approaching.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you still up, young man?\u201d the older man asked in a stern tone as he looked at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cLack of sleep will be no excuse for chores left undone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be up with the sun, pa,\u201d his brother answered a bit sullenly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee that you are.\u00a0 I expect you to go looking for those strays bright and early.\u201d\u00a0 It was only then the older man noticed him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t sleep, Pa.\u00a0 I was heading down for some food when I ran into Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Adam smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be up bright and early too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their father nodded.\u00a0 \u201cRemember, Adam, I need you to attend that town meeting tomorrow night since Hoss and I will be gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their father and brother were heading out that day to Winnemucca to look at a batch of horses.\u00a0 They expected them to be gone at least a week.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 I\u2019ll remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man pursed his lips and then turned on Joe.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I want you to go with your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked like he\u2019d had all of the air let out of him.\u00a0 \u201cDo I have to, Pa?\u00a0 The Doc could bottle those meetings and make a fortune\u00a0 He could use them to put a man to sleep!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you have<\/em> to.\u00a0 A sense of civic duty is something a man needs to cultivate.\u00a0\u00a0 We are not islands, son.\u00a0 We are all connected.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell you what, Joe,\u201d Adam said, \u201cwe\u2019ll go to the meeting and then head to the Bucket of Blood to sample their<\/em> medicine before we head home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t encourage him, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t, Pa,\u201d he said. \u201cIt will be a reward for Joe\u2019s for good behavior.\u00a0 Won\u2019t it, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother was being stared down by their father.\u00a0 Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cWhat he said, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to hear of any trouble when I come back.\u00a0 Is that clear to both <\/em>of you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be innocent as doves, Pa,\u201d Adam said from his perch on the top step.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take that as a \u2018yes\u2019 then,\u201d he harrumphed .\u00a0 \u201cGoodnight, Adam.\u00a0 Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNight, Pa,\u201d they said in chorus.<\/p>\n

Adam waited until their father had closed the door to his room and Joe entered his own before moving to the stairs.\u00a0 As he reached the bottom a soft voice called down to him from the second floor landing.\u00a0 \u201cNight, Adam.\u00a0 Sorry about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned back to find Joe standing at the top of the staircase.\u00a0 \u201cNo problem, Joe.\u00a0 Go get some sleep.\u00a0 See you in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe smiled his cock-eyed smile.\u00a0 One eye winked and then he disappeared into the shadows.<\/p>\n

Adam remained where he was for a moment, thinking, and then headed to the kitchen.<\/p>\n

Hopefully he had time to raid the larder before Hop Sing woke up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The day moved along at a breakneck pace.\u00a0 It started with rounding up stray cattle and passed through payroll for the hands, dealing with an argument, making lists of supplies to pick up in town and repairing tackle to early evening quicker than a wagon drawn by spooked horses. Adam stepped back and looked at his image in the mirror. Since he was representing their father at the town meeting, he felt he needed to look his best and so had chosen his Sunday clothes to wear.\u00a0 He was dressed now in his best white shirt and black pants and boots. A gray jacket lay on the bed that he intended to pull on before leaving the house.\u00a0 His gun belt also lay on the bed and there it would remain. Side arms wouldn\u2019t be necessary at the meeting and he didn\u2019t want to appear too intimidating.\u00a0 They had enough people in town already who resented them.<\/p>\n

And then there was Joe again, who might start shooting just to liven things up.<\/p>\n

As he finished tying his necktie, Adam crossed to the door.\u00a0 Sticking his head into the hall, he called, \u201cTen minute warning, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother stepped out of his room dressed to the nines in the pin-striped brown suit he had that was the color of his well-controlled \u2013 well, at the moment \u2013 brown curls.<\/p>\n

\u201cBrother, that makes you ten minutes behind,\u201d Joe replied, raising one eyebrow while his lips curled in a smile.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 It was no wonder his baby brother turned the lady\u2019s heads.\u00a0 Joe was a good-looking man.\u00a0 His mother had been a small-boned, fragile beauty who, even though she proved herself by coming to Nevada and helping to forge the Ponderosa, projected softness and a need to be taken care of.\u00a0 Joe had inherited both traits.\u00a0 Unlike their father, him, and Hoss, Joe had a slight build and a way about him that made him appear vulnerable.\u00a0 It was part of the reason he won so many fights.\u00a0 Large, muscular, and tough men looked on Joe and thought he was an easy mark \u2013 until they ran into his fists and were startled by his speed both in fighting and drawing a gun.\u00a0 He\u2019d watched it happen when Joe was little.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t count the times he\u2019d been sent to the schoolhouse to retrieve his brother from the corner where his temper and impulsive nature had placed him, and found him with a black eye or split lip \u2013 or worse.\u00a0 The usual scenario was that some big boy had challenged him and Joe had fought back, coming close to or taking the bully out, and then the bully\u2019s friends had decided that they would take Joe<\/em> out.<\/p>\n

No wonder their father\u2019s hair was turning white.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He had forgotten Joe was standing there, waiting for an answer.\u00a0 \u201cSorry.\u00a0 If you\u2019re ready, why don\u2019t you go down and saddle the horses?\u00a0 I won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a plan,\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They left for Virginia City eight minutes later, just as the sun hit the horizon and began to cast long shadows over the land.\u00a0 The ride was an enjoyable one, not too cool for late fall.<\/p>\n

The meeting was another matter.\u00a0 Adam nodded his head yet again in acknowledgment as one of the men that mattered filtered past him, heading for home.\u00a0 He would definitely not have described the evening as \u2018enjoyable\u2019.\u00a0 Sometimes he wondered about people.\u00a0 You could see them on the street by themselves five minutes before they gathered in a crowd and they were sensible, likable men.\u00a0 But put them all together and some sort of mob mind was created.\u00a0 There had been arguments and heated discussions over the most inconsequential things from whose time the mule hauling bricks had died on \u2013 the mule owner\u2019s or the customer\u2019s \u2013 to what color to paint the steeple on the church, white or gray<\/em> white.<\/p>\n

Adam threw Joe a look intended to say, \u2018I need that drink more than you do and we will get the Hell out of here as quickly as we can\u2019.\u00a0 <\/em>Joe didn’t get it.\u00a0 He was sitting in the corner with his hat pulled down over his eyes either asleep or pretending to be.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell that father of yours when he gets back that I need to see him!\u201d one of their closest neighbors insisted as he came abreast him and pointed a finger at his chest.\u00a0 \u201cCouldn\u2019t Ben have waited until the meeting was over to go look at those horses?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stifled a sigh and then told a lie.\u00a0 \u201cThe man with the horses was moving on day after tomorrow.\u00a0 Pa had no choice.\u201d\u00a0 While it was true the man was moving on, his horses weren\u2019t.\u00a0 Pa could<\/em> have stayed for the meeting and then headed out.<\/p>\n

After sitting through it, he knew why his father had bolted.<\/p>\n

The other man grunted his disapproval as he headed for the door.\u00a0 Adam was just about to call Joe and tell him he was ready to leave for the saloon when he spotted yet another irate neighbor making a beeline for him.<\/p>\n

It was the man who owned the mule.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d\u00a0 Adam called loudly before he could be bowled over.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother started and then stirred.\u00a0 A second later Little Joe lifted his hat and looked at him.<\/p>\n

The little traitor \u2013 he had<\/em> been asleep!<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Adam?\u201d his brother asked as dropped the chair legs to the floor and rose.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like I am about to get cornered again.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go to the saloon and get a table and order two beers?\u00a0 I\u2019ll follow as soon as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked down at his suit and then looked up with a lop-sided grin.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna feel awful silly stepping into the saloon when I\u2019m the only one dressed prettier than a city slicker.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo take your coat off and fall in the mud.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother blinked.\u00a0 Then he laughed.\u00a0 \u201cI might just do that.\u00a0 But don\u2019t you forget to do the same before you come in.\u00a0 I can\u2019t have the girls looking at you because you\u2019re <\/em>prettier.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam waved him off.\u00a0 Then, as Joe headed for the door, that father instinct rose in him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother turned back, the smile gone.\u00a0 \u201cI know, don\u2019t get into any trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

That had<\/em> been what he was going to say, but he amended it.\u00a0 \u201cThat too.\u00a0 I was actually going to tell you to order two <\/em>beers each.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced at the mule-owning neighbor who had nearly made his way through the crowd to his side.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I am going to need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe Cartwright halted outside the Bucket of Blood.\u00a0 He glanced again at his attire.\u00a0 While he was dressed fine for the hotel or one of the palaces, the Bucket of Blood was a haven of hard-living and harder drinking coal miners and cowboys.\u00a0 There were men, from time to time, who came in wearing suits, but it always caused heads to turn.\u00a0 The man with the curly brown hair grinned.\u00a0 Of course, that could<\/em> be a good thing when it was the saloon girls\u2019 heads that did the turning.\u00a0 There were a couple of younger ones who were pretty as a fine filly.\u00a0 He\u2019d been working on the one named Phoebe for a while.\u00a0 He remembered from his schooling that she was named after Phoebe, the Greek goddess of brilliance.<\/p>\n

Her parents had got it right.<\/p>\n

Phoebe Bird Howath was nearly as tall as him, with a slim little waist a man could circle with two hands.\u00a0 She had curly golden-red hair the color of the sunrise and pale, perfect skin with rose petal lips and pale pink cheeks.\u00a0 Her eyes were the most extraordinary blue, like a mountain pool reflecting a cloudless sky.\u00a0 Not surprisingly, Phoebe\u2019s favorite color was sapphire blue and she usually wore it when working.<\/p>\n

He hoped she was working tonight.<\/p>\n

With a last glance at the town hall to see if Adam had emerged yet, Joe stepped up on the wooden deck and passed through the swinging doors and into the saloon.\u00a0 He raised the barkeep\u2019s eyebrows by ordering four beers and then went to sit at a corner table in the gaming room.\u00a0 Catching the eye of one of the saloon girls, Joe asked her to send Adam his way when she saw him.\u00a0 The Bucket was ripping and roaring since it was a Saturday night and most of the mines and spreads paid their men on Friday or Saturday morning.\u00a0 He usually enjoyed all the noise and chatter, but he was tired tonight after having had only a few hours of sleep.\u00a0 After taking a swig of beer Joe shoved his chair against the wall and leaned his head back and waited for Adam\u2019s arrival.<\/p>\n

Sometime later the sound of a chair being drawn back from the table woke him up.\u00a0 \u201cDid I miss the wedding, Cartwright?\u201d a man asked, his tone jovial.<\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes and blinked several times in an attempt to clear the sleep away.\u00a0 He found Bexley Lanahan seated across from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeck, hey.\u201d\u00a0 Joe frowned as he pulled at his brown coat.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean this?\u00a0 Pa made Adam and me go to the town hall meeting.\u00a0 We had to dress the part of the \u2018spoiled\u2019 Cartwright boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley eyed one of Adam\u2019s mugs.\u00a0 \u201cMind if I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s keeping older brother, but he\u2019s long overdue.\u00a0 I\u2019ll order him a new one.\u00a0 Say,\u201d he nodded toward the main room, \u201chave you seen Phoebe tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

The other man frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWhich one\u2019s Phoebe?\u00a0 That old one with the missing teeth?\u201d<\/p>\n

He snorted.\u00a0 \u201cThe pretty redhead who wears dark blue most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGolden<\/em> red hair?\u00a0 Curly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think she\u2019s working the late shift for some reason.\u00a0 Should make an appearance any time.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley took another sip.\u00a0 \u201cIt looks good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWhat looks good?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe suit.\u00a0 It\u2019s the first time I\u2019ve seen you in anything but work clothes.\u00a0 You\u2019re a handsome man, Joe Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

With his brows furrowed, Joe responded.\u00a0 \u201cThanks.\u00a0 I think.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley laughed.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean anything by it, other than you\u2019ll have no trouble bringing Phoebe \u2013 or any of the other pretty girls for that matter \u2013 to the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sound a little bit jealous, Bexley,\u201d his brother Adam said, startling them as he pulled out a chair and sat down.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like the ones he likes anyhow.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley looked at Joe and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna go join in the poker game out front.\u00a0 You coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs Jude coming?\u201d his brother asked Bexley.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe faced him.\u00a0 In his brother\u2019s eyes Adam read an unspoken plea \u2013 \u2018Please don\u2019t make me look like a baby who has to ask permission\u2019<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019m staying.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stifled a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, we have to be up bright and early tomorrow.\u00a0 Those steers won\u2019t round themselves up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t stay long, Adam.\u00a0 Promise. Anyway, I don\u2019t have that much money so I should be home by midnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

The black-haired man rose.\u00a0 He did his best to use his \u2018brother\u2019 and not his \u2018second father\u2019 tone.\u00a0 \u201cSee that you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two of them followed him into the main room.\u00a0 Bexley went to sit at the poker table while Joe trailed him to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He drew a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t make me regret it.\u00a0 Pa will skin me if you get into trouble on my watch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just going to play a few rounds of poker,\u201d Joe grinned.\u00a0 \u201cWhat trouble can I get in?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The game started at eight.\u00a0 It was now a quarter \u2018til twelve.\u00a0 Jude Lowery had joined them around nine and had loaned him some money so he\u2019d been able to stay in longer than he expected.<\/p>\n

The last of that <\/em>had just run out.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it for me,\u201d Joe said, scooting his chair back and rising unsteadily.\u00a0 Between Bexley and Jude the drinks had flowed free and he had taken a little too<\/em> much advantage of their generosity.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to be careful or he\u2019d fall off of Cochise on the way back to the ranch.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have to go, Little Joe?\u00a0 We were just getting reacquainted,\u201d a light feminine voice said as five fingers wrapped themselves around his arm.<\/p>\n

Joe sighed as he looked at the slender girl in sapphire cloth with the golden-red hair and sky blue eyes.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, the only thing I\u2019d like to do more than stay here with you is live to see tomorrow.\u00a0 If I\u2019m not home by one o\u2019clock at the latest, my brother Adam will kill me.\u201d<\/p>\n

She moved in front of him and then leaned in, pressing her lower body into his.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re sure I can\u2019t persuade you to stay?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed over a lump in his throat.\u00a0 He <\/em>was used to being the one who made the advances.\u00a0 As Phoebe\u2019s hand slid down his thigh, he pulled away.\u00a0 Catching it in his, he lifted it and kissed the back of her fingers.\u00a0 Her skin was soft as silk.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not that I don\u2019t want to stay, Phoebe, but I made a promise and I need to keep it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The beautiful woman smiled.\u00a0 \u201cJoe Cartwright, you know just<\/em> what to say to a girl.\u201d\u00a0 She reached up then and pulled his head toward hers and kissed him on the lips.\u00a0 \u201cYou come back tomorrow night, you hear, and don\u2019t promise your brother anything.\u00a0 I have a room upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before he could reply, Bexley pushed his chair back and tossed his cards on the table.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m done too.\u201d\u00a0 Looking at him, the brown-haired man said, \u201cI need to get back to the ranch.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ride part way with you, Joe, if that’s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Joe nodded, Jude spoke up.\u00a0 \u201cYou want me to come along and nursemaid you two?” he asked.\u00a0 \u201cI can fold now or go a few more rounds.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou go ahead and stay,\u201d Joe said as he extricated himself from Phoebe\u2019s embrace and aimed her toward his friend.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe can keep you company.\u201d<\/p>\n

The blond man snorted.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s only got eyes for you, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley had moved to the door.\u00a0 \u201cYou coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cOn my way.\u201d<\/p>\n

After stopping at the hotel for Beck to settle up a bill, they went to the stable for their horses and then mounted and headed for home.<\/p>\n

The night was crisp and cool.\u00a0 Joe wished he\u2019d brought his outer coat as the suit he wore did little to keep him warm.\u00a0 As they passed out of the town the scents of early morning drifted to him on the air \u2013 wood fires burning, bread baking in the oven, even a touch of coffee for a man rising early enough to make his destination before dawn.\u00a0 The road to the ranch was deserted.\u00a0 In the half hour or so they had traveled, they had seen no one.\u00a0 At first they had talked, mostly about nothing, but in the last few minutes Bexley had fallen silent. They traveled another one hundred feet or so before his companion struck out with his hand and, catching Cochise\u2019s reins, drew Joe\u2019s horse to a halt.<\/p>\n

Before he could ask what was up Bexley held a finger to his lips and mouthed, \u2018I heard something<\/em>.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe hadn\u2019t heard it, but then that didn\u2019t mean anything.\u00a0 \u2018Where?<\/em>\u2019 he asked, doing the same.<\/p>\n

Bexley pointed to the tall stacks of rock behind them.\u00a0 It was called Pointer\u2019s Arch due to the fact that, sometime a long time ago, the tops of the columns had bent over and touched, creating a natural arch.\u00a0 It was a popular place for people to stop day and night since they would be out of the weather. The area between them was equivalent to a room in a small cabin.<\/p>\n

Bexley drew his gun and signaled.\u00a0 He\u2019d approach from the left.\u00a0 With a nod he indicated Joe should approach from the right.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t have a gun.\u00a0 Their evening had been social and Adam had insisted they leave their personal firearms at home, though his brother had carried a rifle with him on Sport.\u00a0 He\u2019d argued, but had no luck in changing his big brother\u2019s mind.\u00a0 Still, he had his fists and that was enough \u2013 especially since Beck had a gun.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded and dismounted.\u00a0 After taking a second to find his feet \u2013 it was obvious Bexley had not drunk as much as he had \u2013 the man with the curly brown hair slipped into the brush to the right of the Arch.\u00a0 He let Beck take the lead since he was armed.\u00a0 As he reached the rocky\u00a0 towers Joe caught a glimpse of Bexley heading for the front.\u00a0 Taking that as a cue Joe moved toward the back.\u00a0 Once there he counted to ten, knowing it would take the other man at least that amount of time to get in place.\u00a0 Drawing a breath Joe stepped inside.<\/p>\n

It was empty.<\/p>\n

Frowning, he called out, \u201cBeck?\u00a0 Where\u2019d you go?\u00a0 Beck are you \u2013 ?\u201d<\/p>\n

Pain exploded in Joe\u2019s head as something struck him hard at the base of the neck, driving him face first into the dirt.\u00a0 Sometime later \u2013 he had no idea how long – he heard someone moaning and then realized it was him<\/em>.\u00a0 As he fought to regain consciousness, Joe sensed more than felt someone straddle him.\u00a0 Whoever it was took hold of the back of his collar and lifted his head up from the ground.\u00a0 They bent in close.\u00a0 He could feel their breath on his cheek. It reeked of alcohol.<\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes again to find the world was still out of focus.\u00a0 Fighting to stay awake he asked, his voice robbed of all strength by the attack, \u201cWho…?\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice that answered was low, gruff, disguised.\u00a0 \u201cWho do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe blinked back tears.\u00a0 His head was pounding so hard he could barely think.\u00a0 \u201cWhat…what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man shifted his hands so they were wrapped around his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do I want?<\/p>\n

\u201cI want you<\/em>, pretty boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TWO<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was roused from sleep by someone knocking on the door.\u00a0 He felt like his father waiting for Joe to come home, only he was on the settee instead of in the chair.\u00a0 He should have known better than to leave Joe at a poker game.\u00a0 His little brother not only had a penchant for overindulging in gambling but in just about everything else.\u00a0 There would have been drinks and pretty girls and –<\/p>\n

Well, it was a recipe for disaster.<\/p>\n

The black-haired man ran a hand over the stubble on his cheeks and glanced out the window as the knocking was repeated, more urgently this time.\u00a0 From the angle of the sun he thought it must be about five o\u2019clock.<\/p>\n

Good Lord!\u00a0 Joe was late by five<\/em> hours.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, all right,\u201d Adam said as the knocking came yet again.\u00a0 Lifting the latch, he opened the door to find Jude Lowery standing outside.\u00a0 Jude was paler than usual, which was saying quite a bit as Lowery was one of those freckle-faced blond men with pale skin who burned and didn\u2019t tan.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I help you, Jude?\u201d he asked with a frown.<\/p>\n

The other man was nervous.\u00a0 As his fingers worked the edge of his hat, Jude said, \u201cAdam, you need to come to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

The way he said it made every hair on his body stand on end.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t take much to make the leap.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Jude nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI was on my way home after the poker game ended and ran into Bexley on the road.\u00a0 There was trouble.\u00a0 Joe’s hurt.\u00a0 Beck is too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam’s jaw was tight.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey were robbed.\u00a0 I checked the saddlebags and everything was gone.\u00a0 Whoever did it knocked Beck out and beat Joe pretty badly.\u00a0 You know Joe,\u201d the blond said, a wan smile lifting the corner of his upper lip, \u201che probably put up a fight.\u201c\u00a0 Jude hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s something else, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He steeled himself.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s…clothes are missing.\u201d<\/p>\n

What he said didn’t register at first.\u00a0 When it did, he asked, \u201cWhat do you mean \u2018missing\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone stripped him and took off with them.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Why would someone do that?”<\/p>\n

Jude shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cThat was a mighty fine suit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s with Joe now?\u201d Adam asked as he reached for his hat on the hook by the door.\u00a0 He was still dressed in his own suit from the night before.\u00a0 As it had turned cooler, he headed for his tan coat next.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeck and Doc Martin.\u00a0 At least the Doc was there when I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is there?\u201d <\/em>Adam demanded as he slipped into his coat.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeck couldn\u2019t find the doctor, so he took Joe to the Bucket of Blood. There’s a girl at the saloon who’s sweet on him and he knew she’d take care of him.\u201d\u00a0 At his look, Jude added, \u201cIt was too far to bring Joe home in the condition he was in.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the most savory of places, but at least Joe was safe.\u00a0 He wondered if he knew the girl.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s her name, this girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhoebe Howath.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought a moment.\u00a0 \u201cThe pretty redhead who likes to wear blue?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSecond floor, second room to the right.\u00a0 Just knock and she\u2019ll let you in.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was buckling on his gun.\u00a0 \u201cYou aren\u2019t coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll check in soon as I can.\u00a0 I need to get back to the ranch or I\u2019m liable to get fired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u00a0 But Bexley will be there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShould be.\u00a0 The Doc needed to look at him too.\u00a0 I told him I\u2019d stop by where he works and let them know he’d be late getting back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for that, Jude,\u201d he said as he opened the door.\u00a0 \u201cNow, come on, I need to get to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Adam flew down the road toward Virginia City, his thoughts raced and pounded as hard and fast as his horse\u2019s hooves.\u00a0 Robberies were not unknown on the road Joe was taking, but they were few and far between.\u00a0 Most happened because a stage or coach was coming to town and it was known the passengers carried something valuable.\u00a0 It was rare for a single man on a single horse to be attacked.\u00a0 Of course, Joe would<\/em> have looked like the son of some rich man riding Cochise and wearing that damn brown suit.\u00a0 Someone could have thought he had money on him and was wearing silver or gold. From what Jude said, it sounded like Joe put up one hell of a fight.<\/p>\n

Adam wondered what his injuries were, and how severe.<\/p>\n

It took Adam less than an hour to reach town, riding as he was at a full gallop.\u00a0 Sport was breathing hard and sweating by the time they reached Virginia City.\u00a0 Much as he wanted to fly to his brother\u2019s side, the black-haired man took time to stable his horse and have it looked after.\u00a0 A few minutes later as he approached the Bucket of Blood, Adam saw a curtain in an upstairs window fall back into place.\u00a0 Moments later an attractive woman with spiraling golden-red hair opened the door and stepped out.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Phoebe,\u201d he said as he drew alongside her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d she nodded tightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead\u2019s eyes were misty.\u00a0 She shook her head.<\/p>\n

Adam gripped her arm with more force than intended.\u00a0 He relented when he saw her wince.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIs my brother\u2019s life in danger?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe doctor said \u2018no\u2019, but it\u2019s bad, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe shuddered.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe looks like….\u00a0 Well, he\u2019s been beaten near to death and….\u00a0 It looks like whoever did it tried to strangle him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStrangle<\/em> him?\u00a0 Good God!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 What sort of maniac, he thought, had his brother run into?\u00a0 \u201cTake me to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s…in my room upstairs, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, Phoebe.\u00a0 I appreciate what you are doing for Joe.\u00a0 Pa will too.\u201d<\/p>\n

As she turned and headed for the stair the saloon girl said, \u201cThat\u2019s right.\u00a0 I remember now, Joe said earlier tonight that his pa was away.\u00a0 Will you send him word?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAs soon as I have some idea of what<\/em> word to send him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once upstairs Phoebe led him down the corridor of the saloon\u2019s poorly lit second floor.\u00a0 They stopped in front of the second door on the right and she knocked three times and then, once again.\u00a0 He heard a key turn in the lock.\u00a0 A second later the door opened.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, thank God you\u2019re here!\u201d Bexley Lanahan said.\u00a0 As the brown-haired man shifted out of the way, he stumbled.\u00a0 Adam caught his arm and it was then he saw the growing bruise on the side of his face.\u00a0 “Jude said you were attacked too.”<\/p>\n

“Someone pistol whipped me,” the other man said.\u00a0 “Compared to Joe’s injuries, it’s nothing.\u00a0 I think….”<\/p>\n

“Yes?”<\/p>\n

“It seemed like someone wanted me out of the way.”<\/p>\n

Adam frowned.\u00a0 As Bexley moved aside he headed for the bed where Joe lay.\u00a0 Like the hall, the room was inadequately lit \u2013 women like Phoebe seldom operated in bright light \u2013 and it was hard to see his brother.\u00a0 Joe was also buried beneath a mountain of blankets with only the top of his head showing.\u00a0 He glanced at the redhead as he began to peel them back one by one.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe\u2019s been shaking uncontrollably.\u00a0 I thought it best to keep him warm.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded and then turned back to his brother, who was curled up on his side.\u00a0 He peeled another blanket away and finally got to Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 Reaching out he touched his brother\u2019s bare shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s warm now,\u201d he said as he shoved some of the extra blankets her way.<\/p>\n

Phoebe took them with a little smile.\u00a0 \u201cThank goodness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam watched the saloon girl as she turned and placed the blankets on top of a nearby chest.\u00a0 She really did <\/em>seem to care.\u00a0 Turning to Bexley who was lingering just inside the door, he said, \u201cI’d like to sit with Joe for a bit.\u00a0 Can you hang around long enough to tell me what happened?”<\/p>\n

The brown-haired man nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go down with Phoebe.\u00a0 I could use a stiff drink anyhow.\u00a0 Besides, the Doc will be back soon and I\u2019d like to know for sure that Joe\u2019s going to be okay before I head back to the ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam waited until the two had departed and then closed the door behind them.\u00a0 After that he went over to the lamp and extended the wick, bringing as much light to the room as possible.\u00a0 Drawing a deep breath, the black-haired man steeled himself and then sat on the edge of the bed and began to examine his brother\u2019s wounds.<\/p>\n

Joe was out, completely.\u00a0 He made no response and didn\u2019t move on his own when he touched him.\u00a0 It didn’t concern him too much as he knew that was common for a man who had taken a blow to the head strong enough to render him unconscious.\u00a0 Taking hold of Joe, he gently turned his head and felt for the knot such a blow to the head would have raised.\u00a0 It was there, just within his brother\u2019s hairline on the back, so he had probably been taken by surprise.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s other injuries were harder to see as most of them appeared to be bruises, including a place on the left side of his jaw where it looked like he had been struck so hard his attacker\u2019s hand had left a print.\u00a0 Strangest of all were the marks on his neck.\u00a0 He could see the distinct impressions of thumbs near Little Joe\u2019s Adam\u2019s apple, and there were other bruises.\u00a0 They appeared to have been left by eight fingers wrapping around his neck.\u00a0 It definitely looked like someone had tried to strangle him.<\/p>\n

If there were any internal injuries, it would take the Doc to know.<\/p>\n

Adam stared at his brother a moment and then took one of his hands in his own.\u00a0 Reaching out, he brushed the sweat-soaked brown curls back from Joe\u2019s forehead and called him, \u201cJoe.\u00a0 Joe, it\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 Can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no response.<\/p>\n

He squeezed his brother\u2019s hand a little harder.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

This time Joe moaned.\u00a0 It was a pitiful sound.<\/p>\n

He felt guilty for waking him, but he needed to know what Joe knew.\u00a0 Taking hold of his brother\u2019s arm, he commanded, \u201cListen to my voice, Joe.\u00a0 Reach for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe moaned again.\u00a0 His breathing grew rapid.\u00a0 His brother tensed and then, unexpectedly, began to struggle to break free.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u201d Joe shouted as he thrashed from side to side. \u201cNo! Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam hesitated to hold him any tighter, but he had to calm Joe down before he hurt himself.\u00a0 Gripping him with both hands he shouted, \u201cJoe, it\u2019s Adam!\u00a0 You\u2019re safe now!\u00a0 Joe!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

For a moment it seemed his brother had not heard.\u00a0 Then Little Joe\u2019s eyes flew open.\u00a0 They searched the dark room wildly, seeking the man who went with the voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He continued to hold him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe blinked and some of the tension fled his body.\u00a0 He winced as he shifted to look at him, as if everything hurt.\u00a0 \u201cAdam?\u201d he asked again.<\/p>\n

This time it was a sigh.<\/p>\n

Adam had to collect himself before he answered.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here, Joe. Can you tell me what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s breathing was fast, his heart racing.\u00a0 He shook his head and then turned his face into the pillows.<\/p>\n

At that moment there was a knock on the door.\u00a0 It opened and Bexley Lanahan stuck his head in.\u00a0 \u201cThe Doc\u2019s back, Adam.\u00a0 I thought you would want to know.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley looked at Joe and seeing he was conscious, stepped into the room.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Joe, it\u2019s good to see you awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned back to his brother.\u00a0 He placed a hand on his shoulder, noting how he jumped when he did.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Is there anything<\/em> you can tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

His answer was a shake of the head.<\/p>\n

It was probably too early.\u00a0 He just hated to lose the trail if there was one.\u00a0 It looked like it would be morning \u2013 if then \u2013 before Joe would be able to talk.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Joe.\u00a0 You sleep now,\u201d he said.\u00a0 Rising, Adam headed for the door.\u00a0 \u201cBexley, are you coming down with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The other man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll wait.\u00a0 The Doc said Joe shouldn\u2019t be left alone.\u00a0 You send Phoebe up and then I\u2019ll come down.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes went from the brown-haired man to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u00a0 It will be soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley nodded and then went to sit in the chair by the bed.\u00a0 Adam stared at him for a moment.\u00a0 Bexley, like Jude, hadn\u2019t known Joe all that long, but the care he was showing seemed to prove him a better man than their father thought.<\/p>\n

When he reached the bottom of the steps Doc Martin stood up to greet him.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood to see you, Adam.\u00a0 I only wish the circumstances were better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took the hand the older man offered and shook it.\u00a0 \u201cIt seems, sometimes, that we only see each other because<\/em> of Joe,\u201d he said, his smile sad and wry.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, now, you and Hoss have had your share of house calls.\u00a0 I seem to remember a few arrows in the leg, and time spent patching you up when you snuck out and rode that bronco before you were old enough to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had to admit it was true.<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand Ben and Hoss are out of town?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd out of communication for a few days.\u00a0 I\u2019ll send a rider after them to let them know what\u2019s happened.\u201d\u00a0 He ran a hand across his face.\u00a0 \u201cThat is, when I<\/em> know what\u2019s happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look like a man who needs a prescription for a whiskey.\u201d\u00a0 The Doc turned to Phoebe and held up a hand.<\/p>\n

She nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Phoebe,\u201d Adam said, \u201cand \u2013 if you don\u2019t mind \u2013 could you go sit with Joe so Bexley can join us?\u00a0 I\u2019d like to hear his story firsthand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the redhead headed for the bar, Adam turned back to the Doc.\u00a0 The older man had taken a seat at a table and gestured for him to join him.\u00a0 Doc Martin remained silent for several heartbeats and then asked, \u201cDid you examine your brother\u2019s injuries?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded his thanks to Phoebe as he accepted the drink. \u201cAs best I could in what proved to be minimal light.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you think of them? The injuries, I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

He took a sip and relished the warmth as it ran from his throat down his gullet and into his stomach.\u00a0 \u201cI could see Joe was beaten,\u201d he replied, biting back the anger the image of it raised.\u00a0 \u201cAnd it looks like someone tried to strangle him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you look closely at his wrists?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Should I have?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re brother was bound, Adam, hand and foot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBound?\u201d\u00a0 His fingers closed on the whiskey glass, his knuckles going white.\u00a0 \u201cWas Joe still bound when Bexley found him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to ask him to be sure, but I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 Someone restrained him while they attacked him and then removed the proof that he had been<\/em> restrained.\u00a0 His flesh, however, bears the marks \u2013 there are rope burns on his wrists and ankles.\u201d\u00a0 The older man paused.\u00a0 \u201cI believe he was gagged as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tied up?\u00a0 Beaten?\u00a0 Gagged?\u00a0 The mystery of what had happened to Joe was growing deeper by the minute.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor shifted back in his chair.\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Obviously someone wanted him incapacitated for some reason.\u00a0 The chief reason, of course, would be so they could do what they wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was something in the doc\u2019s tone.\u00a0 \u201cAre you telling me everything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Doc Martin nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 Everything I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut not what you suspect.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, once I examine Joe more closely, if I feel my suspicions have any validity, I will certainly tell you.\u00a0 But not before then.\u00a0 It just wouldn\u2019t be right.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment a step creaked.\u00a0 Adam turned to find Bexley Lanahan had passed the landing and was descending the last few steps to the saloon floor.\u00a0 A moment later the brown-haired man sat down at the table and folded his hands on its surface.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you want to hear what I told the Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery much,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere isn\u2019t much to tell.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley leaned back.\u00a0 In the brighter light of the main floor Adam could see the man had taken quite a blow to the side of the head and there were other bruises, indicating he had been mistreated as well.\u00a0 Though they were nothing like Joe\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cJoe and I left the saloon together,\u201d he began.\u00a0 \u201cAs we came to Pointer\u2019s Arch, I heard something.\u00a0 I thought maybe someone was laying in wait, so I stopped Joe.\u00a0 We dismounted and took opposite paths to see if we could find anyone.\u00a0 I saw Joe through the Arch and was just about to call out to him when someone hit me hard.\u00a0 I went down and out.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know for how long.\u00a0 It might have been an hour.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere did you find Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetween the road and the rocks.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley\u2019s jaw tensed and he shifted as if uncomfortable.\u00a0 \u201cIt was strange.\u00a0 Joe was laying there on the ground.\u00a0 He\u2019d been stripped down to his union suit and it was torn.\u00a0 I guess whoever attacked us wanted that fine suit of his.\u00a0 Joe was out like a light so I checked him over.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I found the knot, here,\u201d he indicated the back of his neck just above the hairline, \u201cand knew he\u2019d been cold-cocked too.\u00a0 I waited until he had roused a bit and then put him in the saddle in front of me and brought him here.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley sighed as he leaned back in the chair.\u00a0 \u201cSince Phoebe\u2019s sweet on Joe, I figured she\u2019d take good care of him.\u00a0 \u2018Sides, I couldn\u2019t think of anywhere else to take him.\u00a0 The Ponderosa was too far to go in the condition he was in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m grateful, Bexley, that you brought him here.\u201d\u00a0 Adam thought a moment.\u00a0 \u201cAny sign of whoever perpetrated the crime?\u201d<\/p>\n

The brown-haired man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI checked the saddlebags and they were empty, so it was probably a robbery.\u00a0 Joe looked mighty fine last night.\u00a0 Someone probably thought he had money on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

It made the most sense.\u00a0 Still, the marks on Joe\u2019s throat and the fact that he had been bound for some crime committed while he was unconscious bothered him.<\/p>\n

When Bexley remained silent, he said, \u201cAnything more?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just as in the dark as you, Adam.\u00a0 Maybe we\u2019ll know more tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

Doc Martin nodded.\u00a0 \u201cWe certainly will,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, is Joe in any danger, of dying, I mean?\u201d Bexley asked.<\/p>\n

The older man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNot unless there are internal injuries I was not able to diagnose in the quick examination I gave him.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do a better one before I leave tonight.\u00a0 Then, I need to run my rounds.\u201d<\/p>\n

The brown-haired man rose stiffly.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I had best get back to the ranch while I still have a job.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be in town tomorrow night for Jude\u2019s game.\u00a0 Can I check with you then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley took his whiskey in hand and downed the remainder of it before heading for the door.\u00a0 Once there, he turned and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam, that I couldn\u2019t prevent what happened to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSo am I, but it\u2019s not your fault.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t anything you could have done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley swung the saloon doors open and started through.\u00a0 \u201cAnyhow, see you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doc Martin rose as well.\u00a0 \u201cI should go now to check in on your brother.\u00a0 Are you coming, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was staring at his glass, turning it round and round in his fingers.\u00a0 \u201cI will in a minute.\u00a0 I…\u00a0 I need some time to think.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doc Martin\u2019s hand came down on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAmazing, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 How quickly things turn?\u00a0 How a man can go from healthy and whole to the edge of dying in a heartbeat.\u201d\u00a0 The older man\u2019s face lit with a sad smile.\u00a0 \u201cI guess it\u2019s the Almighty\u2019s way of keeping us humble and dependent on Him.\u201d\u00a0 He lifted his hand.\u00a0 \u201cIf Joe is awake, I\u2019ll tell him you\u2019ll be up shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam listened to the other man\u2019s feet as they retreated up the stairs.\u00a0 Then he rose and walked to the door of the saloon and looked out.\u00a0 The sun was peeking over the horizon and the new day was about to begin.\u00a0 He wished he knew what it would hold.\u00a0 If he didn\u2019t return to the Ponderosa and issue orders soon most of the work there would grind to a halt. Still, he didn\u2019t want to leave Joe until he knew he was out of danger.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to find one of the ranch hands in town and send them out with orders for the day.\u00a0 Then, he needed to send word to his father and brother.\u00a0 What did he say?\u00a0 Adam thought about it a moment and then decided a portion of what he knew was best.\u00a0 Joe had been attacked and robbed on the road home and was in bad shape.\u00a0 The Doc had seen him and he was holding his own.\u00a0 There really was little else he could say, and even less he knew, but as the day dawned the black-haired man vowed he would know more \u2013 somehow, he would <\/em>know more.\u00a0 He\u2019d ride out to Pointer\u2019s Arch and see the crime scene for himself, and then question everyone who had been in the saloon that night, especially Jude, Phoebe, and, once again, Bexley Lanahan.<\/p>\n

Someone had to know something about what had happened.<\/p>\n

He just had to figure out who.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was dark.\u00a0 Dark and cold<\/em>.<\/p>\n

He was on the move, every sense heightened, searching for something or someone.<\/p>\n

The night was bitter.\u00a0 He could feel the wind cutting through the thin fabric of his dress clothes, chilling him to the bone.\u00a0 There was something in front of him \u2013 a formation of rocks \u2013 something with a heart of blackness beneath it.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to go in there, but he had to.<\/p>\n

For some reason he had<\/em> to.<\/p>\n

His heart raced as he entered the darkness.\u00a0 Once inside he paused, uncertain.<\/p>\n

Wasn\u2019t someone supposed to be there?<\/p>\n

Then, without warning, pain exploded in his head.\u00a0 His body jolted as it hit the ground and someone straddled him like a horse.\u00a0 They slapped him hard and pushed his face into the dirt and then began to pull his suit coat off.\u00a0 He fought his attacker \u2013 fought hard<\/em>, but since he was on his back he was at a disadvantage.\u00a0 He tried to arch his back to throw them off and was struck again.\u00a0 The blow set his head to spinning even as strong, relentless fingers closed around his throat, pressing in, choking off his air.\u00a0 Still he fought, still, tried to break free….<\/p>\n

Tried and failed.<\/p>\n

Tears flooded Joe\u2019s eyes and ran down his cheeks.\u00a0 It was his fault, whatever was happening was his<\/em> fault.\u00a0 He should never have stayed in Virginia City.\u00a0 He should have left earlier or later, been smarter, faster, better.\u00a0 Should have been able to stop \u2013<\/p>\n

Someone took his hand.\u00a0 The contact was terrifying and he began to struggle.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 Let me go!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe. \u00a0Joe!<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

He froze.\u00a0 It was a woman\u2019s voice.\u00a0 Whoever it was, was a woman.<\/em>\u00a0 His attacker had been a man, he was sure of that.<\/p>\n

A hand touched his cheek sending a chill through him.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, are you awake?\u00a0 Can you look at me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes, he was awake.\u00a0 But, no, he couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Joe felt his fingers squeezed and then the bed he lay on rose beneath him, as if the woman who had been sitting there stood up. A moment later it dipped again as someone took her place.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d an older man\u2019s voice asked.<\/p>\n

Relief flooded through him.\u00a0 It was Pa!\u00a0 His pa had come to rescue him!\u00a0 Joe struggled to open his eyes.\u00a0 It took a mighty effort, but he managed it.\u00a0 An older man was<\/em> sitting beside him.\u00a0 He lifted a hand, reaching for him, desperate for that beloved touch.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man\u2019s hand caught his.\u00a0 His palm was soft and not calloused, so it couldn\u2019<\/em>t be his pa.\u00a0 \u201cNo, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s Doc Martin,\u201d he said, dashing his hopes.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tears flooded Joe\u2019s eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks.\u00a0 He shook his head, finding no words.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been treated badly, boy,\u201d the doctor said, his voice rough with emotion.\u00a0 \u201cAre you in pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was.\u00a0 He hurt everywhere<\/em>, even in places that didn\u2019t make sense.\u00a0 For a second Joe considered answering the older man, but then he decided that sinking back into the blackness was easier.<\/p>\n

The Doc shook him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 I need you to answer me.\u00a0 I won\u2019t leave you alone until you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Opening his eyes was like peeling away old horse glue.\u00a0 Joe ran his tongue across his lips. \u201cRight as rain, Doc,\u201c he said with a weak smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cSince when do Ben Cartwright\u2019s boys lie?\u201d\u00a0 The older man asked, affection in his tone.\u00a0 \u201cLook, Joe, I know <\/em>you\u2019re hurting.\u201d\u00a0 He paused. \u201cAnd maybe in ways that puzzle you.\u00a0 Can you tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

It made it hurt worse when he thought about it.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you tell me what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

That hurt too much too.\u00a0 Again, he answered, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor sighed as he let go of his hand.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably too soon.\u00a0 What you need now is rest.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to give you something to help you sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe watched as Doc Martin leaned over to retrieve his bag.\u00a0 After placing it on the bed, he opened it and pulled out a small bottle. The older man uncorked the bottle, poured some of its contents into a glass of water and then placed it on the bedside table.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to touch you, Joe, and lift you up.\u00a0 Is that all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

For some reason he was grateful he\u2019d asked.\u00a0 \u201cYeah…sure, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n

After slipping his arm behind him, the older man picked up the glass and held it to his lips.\u00a0 \u201cThis will help you sleep, lad.\u00a0 Drink it down.\u201d<\/p>\n

When he was finished the Doc returned him to the pillows and then placed the empty glass on the bedside table by the bottle.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt won\u2019t be long now,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cRest well, Joseph.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was still standing at the door of the saloon when Doc Martin came down the stairs.\u00a0 The older man crossed over to where he was and placed a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou look tired, Adam.\u00a0 Have you had any sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNot yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should get some soon.\u00a0 Doctor\u2019s orders.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need two<\/em> of Ben\u2019s boys in my care.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir,\u201d he said with a pale smile.\u00a0 Adam sobered as he asked, \u201cHow is Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor considered the question before he answered.\u00a0 \u201cAs well as can be expected.\u00a0 I gave him a dose of laudanum and he\u2019s sleeping now.\u00a0 I left Phoebe with him.\u00a0 She\u2019s competent, but I think it would do Joe good if you went to sit with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny particular reason why?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

The older man hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully.\u00a0 \u201cAfter what\u2019s happened, what your brother needs most is family.\u00a0 An attack of this nature can make a man feel many things \u2013 fear, shame, guilt that he wasn\u2019t able to prevent it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean the beating?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmong other things.\u201d\u00a0 Doc Martin met his puzzled gaze.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, every man, no matter how strong, has a point where he breaks.\u00a0 You need to be prepared.\u00a0 This may be Joe\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cIs there something you aren\u2019t telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you know tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ten minutes later Adam stood by his brother\u2019s side.\u00a0 Upon his arrival in Joe\u2019s room he sent Phoebe off to bed.\u00a0 The redhead had been true and had kept watch over Joe throughout the night and she was exhausted.\u00a0 The dose of laudanum Doc Martin gave his brother had put Joe out, but even in that deep drug-induced sleep he was restless.\u00a0 Joe tossed and turned and muttered and at times, moaned as if caught in some terror he could not escape.<\/p>\n

The morning light was creeping in through the window and, since it hadn\u2019t disturbed or awakened Joe, Adam opened the curtains wide.\u00a0 He returned to the bed then and sat by his brother and set about examining his injuries more closely.\u00a0 He found it curious that he had to gently take hold of Joe and roll him over to see most of them.\u00a0 The imprint of fingers on his little brother\u2019s neck and throat showed that the attack had come from behind.\u00a0 Whoever tied him up must have accosted him while he was face down on the ground.\u00a0 There were bruises on his shoulders as well and more running down his back and onto his thighs and buttocks.<\/p>\n

Adam sat back, puzzling over that one.<\/p>\n

As he sat there, looking at his baby brother laying in a stranger\u2019s bed, battered, bruised, and helpless as a child, something awoke deep within him.\u00a0 It was more than rage, more than a need for justice or even revenge.\u00a0 He\u2019d felt all of that before when Joe had been taken advantage of by the likes of John C. Reagan or Sam Wolf.\u00a0 This was something different and it frightened him because it roused something primal in him.<\/p>\n

It made him want to kill whoever had done it.<\/p>\n

The black-haired man drew a deliberate deep, steadying breath and held it for ten heartbeats before releasing it.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t be certain what had happened, not until he could talk to Joe, but no matter what it was utterly inexcusable.<\/p>\n

Whoever attacked Joe in such a brutal way deserved to be put down like the rabid animal he was.<\/p>\n

Utterly weary, Adam leaned forward and covered his face with his hands.\u00a0 \u201cGod, please.<\/em>\u00a0 Please let me find whoever did this.\u201d<\/p>\n

It must have been his voice that woke him.\u00a0 Joe shifted and groaned.\u00a0 Fighting back tears, Adam twisted around and placed a hand on his brother\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

Joe nearly came off the bed.<\/p>\n

His baby brother was slight but strong.\u00a0 Restraining him was tantamount to holding down an enraged mountain lion.\u00a0 All he could think of as he fought to keep Joe on the bed was that, in his drugged state, Joe had returned to the moment of the attack and believed he had to fight to break free.\u00a0 Unfortunately, even though his brother was shouting, his words were garbled and made no sense.<\/p>\n

Whatever secret was locked within him was going to remain so for the foreseeable future.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! \u201c Adam said firmly, \u201cJoe, hear me!\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 You\u2019re with me and you\u2019re safe!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t buy it.\u00a0 He continued to struggle as if his life depended on it and then, suddenly, stopped and became deathly silent.\u00a0 For several heartbeats his baby brother lay there, panting, and then with a whimper Joe curled up into a ball and began to cry.<\/p>\n

It nearly broke his heart.<\/p>\n

Adam straightened up.\u00a0 He hesitated a moment and then lifted Joe up and slipped in behind him.\u00a0 This time, there was no reaction.\u00a0 Apparently, the laudanum was in command again.\u00a0 Adam shifted until he was in a comfortable place and then cradled his brother against his body like he was a child \u2013 like he had done when Joe was<\/em> a child.<\/p>\n

He held him until the sun was up and the room filled with light.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THREE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright finished filling his canteen and stood up. For a moment he remained where he was, listening to the river and living world around him, enjoying its beauty.\u00a0 The Ponderosa pines surrounding him stretched clean up to the sky and when you stood in the middle of a bunch of them like he was now, it was just like being in one of those there cathedrals in England or Ireland, or at least so he\u2019d been told.\u00a0 He\u2019d never seen a cathedral, of course, and probably never would, but he\u2019d seen church steeples and he knew what people meant when they said it.\u00a0 The farther up the trees went the more their trunks seemed to lean in toward one another, forming a sort of tower.\u00a0 He\u2019d loved to sit beneath them when he was a little boy, staring up the inside of that green spire for hours.\u00a0 The direct line to the sky took him away from all the little things men thought were important and from the awful things they was capable of.\u00a0 As he capped the canteen the big man turned back toward his pa.\u00a0 They hadn\u2019t gone twenty miles before they\u2019d been set on by a pair of outlaws and while they\u2019d managed to get away, it wasn\u2019t \u2018clean\u2019 away.\u00a0 Their horses was gone and his pa had a bandage on his head from a stray bullet that has passed by and taken a slice of skin with it.\u00a0 It had done no other damage than to leave Pa with the kind of headache Little Joe had after staying in town too long.<\/p>\n

Lifting the other canteen that he had already filled from the ground, Hoss crossed over to the older man.\u00a0 He held it out and when his father took it, asked, \u201cHow you feelin\u2019, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike a fool,\u201d the older man groused.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Pa, weren\u2019t no way you coulda knowed those men was hiding in the trees.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI let my guard down, son, and that\u2019s a thing a man is lucky if he gets to do twice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s your head?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPounding.\u201d\u00a0 A second later his pa looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry, son.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be fine once we get back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI sure wish those men hadn\u2019t taken the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll get them back.\u00a0 Once we get home, I\u2019ll send one of the hands into town to find Roy.\u00a0 He\u2019ll track them down.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss took a seat beside his pa and reached out for the pot of coffee that was steeping over a small fire.\u00a0 As he poured himself a cup, he said, \u201cJoe and Adam sure will be surprised to see us back so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI imagine they will be.\u201d\u00a0 The older man shook his head when he offered to pour him a cup.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take some later.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need it now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need it either, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, drawing the scent into his nostrils.\u00a0 \u201cI just plumb want <\/em>it.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father laughed and then fell silent.<\/p>\n

Five minutes later he was silent still.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you thinkin\u2019 about, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u00a0 Oh….\u201d\u00a0 The silver-haired man drew in a breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0 \u201cYour brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u201cThat Adam, he sure <\/em>is trouble….\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man looked at him, puzzled, and then snorted when he got the joke.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not Adam that is changing this<\/em> from silver to white,\u201d he said, indicating his hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you cain\u2019t mean Joe,\u201d he countered.\u00a0 \u201cLittle brother\u2019s an angel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour little brother may look<\/em> like an angel, but there\u2019s more of the Old Nick in him than what you\u2019ll find combined in both you and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, shucks, Pa.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s just young.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd impulsive and hot-headed and disobedient and, at times, indolent and shiftless.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know where he gets it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss hesitated, but then spoke his piece.\u00a0 \u201cI seem to remember you talking about a certain young seaman who had a \u2018reckless misspent\u2019 youth.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man\u2019s eyes met his.\u00a0 For a moment the look out of them was hard, but then it softened.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose you\u2019re right.\u201d\u00a0 His pa sighed.\u00a0 \u201cBut it\u2019s every parent\u2019s desire that their children learn by<\/em> their mistakes rather than by repeating<\/em> them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe ain\u2019t that bad.\u00a0 Leastwise, not as I know him.\u00a0 Oh, he may try to wiggle out of something to go meet some gal or stay too late at a poker game now and then, but he ain\u2019t afraid of work and when he works, he works hard.\u00a0 You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s another thing \u2013 the girls and the gambling and <\/em>the brawls!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe just loves life, Pa.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 wrong with that far as I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father capped the canteen he held and handed it to him.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 No, there\u2019s nothing wrong with that.\u201d\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cI have to admit, there is<\/em> nothing quite like hearing your brother laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr makin<\/em>\u2019 him laugh,\u201d Hoss agreed.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s the thing with Joe.\u00a0 He may get madder than a wet hen and be ornery and stubborn as a mule, but he\u2019s also the quickest to say he\u2019s sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s pretty good at forgiving too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess, Pa, it\u2019s like one of them there seesaws the kids play on.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hard to handle when he\u2019s high or low, but the times when he\u2019s in the middle….\u201d<\/p>\n

His father gestured.\u00a0 \u201cI changed my mind, son.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take that coffee now.\u201d\u00a0 As Hoss poured it, the older man continued.\u00a0 \u201cI see your mothers in you all. Elizabeth in Adam\u2019s intelligence and steady soul.\u00a0 Kindness and gentleness in you, just like Inger.\u00a0 Marie, well, there is so much of Marie in Joe.\u201d\u00a0 He took a sip and then shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cTalk about a spitfire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d you fall in love with her, Pa?\u00a0 Do you know?\u00a0 I mean, I loved Marie, but she weren\u2019t like my ma or Adam\u2019s, was she?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Not really.\u00a0 Marie was, well, like Joe, impulsive and quick to anger.\u00a0 And like your brother, she wore her emotions on her sleeve.\u00a0 You could see the storm brewing long before it arrived.\u00a0 Marie felt things deeply, too <\/em>deeply perhaps and was easily wounded.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat sounds like Joe too.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father nodded and then added with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joe is definitely <\/em>his mother\u2019s son.\u00a0 I guess I need to remember that when he makes me as angry as she did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a good thing little brother\u2019s so gosh-darned cute.\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of like a puppy.\u00a0 Don\u2019t matter what it does, you couldn\u2019t live without it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t let Joe hear you call him \u2018cute\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned.\u00a0 \u201cSure I will, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m always up for a good scrap.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man leaned forward and emptied his cup on the fire.\u00a0 Then he looked up.\u00a0 \u201cThe day\u2019s dawning.\u00a0 We better get walking.\u00a0 Even at a good clip we won\u2019t make the Ponderosa before sundown tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLessen God wants to prove He loves us so powerful<\/em> much that He sends us a wagon,\u201d the big man suggested.<\/p>\n

His father rose.\u00a0 He placed a hand on his shoulder in passing.\u00a0 \u201cAlways the optimist, eh, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot always, Pa, but I sure am when it comes to lookin\u2019 for some divine help or walkin\u2019 twenty mile or more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we stick to the road, we might just not need God\u2019s help this time, son.\u00a0 Someone is bound to come along.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to get home as quickly as possible.\u00a0 I need to send a telegram to Henry Steel for one thing.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be expecting us and wonder where we are.\u00a0 I\u2019d still like to get those horses, but there\u2019s no way we can make it to Winnemucca walking.\u00a0 It\u2019s just too far.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder what Adam and Joe is doing right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man looked south and scowled.\u00a0 \u201cRunning the ranch, I hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss snorted. \u201cYes, I guess that\u2019s kind of important.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKind of.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood and slung both canteens over his shoulder.\u00a0 He took a step toward the road and then held out a hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter you, Pa.\u00a0 Age before beauty.\u201d<\/p>\n

They began the long walk home to the sound of his father\u2019s laughter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Phoebe Bird Howath halted just without her room.\u00a0 She hesitated to knock, but it was kind of important.\u00a0 She had moved to one of the empty rooms on the floor when Adam Cartwright relieved her, but had forgotten to take any of her things with her. Today was the day she went to help her mother with chores and she couldn\u2019t do it in a scanty dress made of a body-hugging shiny blue fabric.\u00a0 Her mother knew what she did and didn\u2019t approve.\u00a0 It hung unspoken between them whenever they were together, like the proverbial elephant in the room.\u00a0 Her mother thought what she did was wicked and maybe it was, but it brought a smile to the face of tired and lonely men and she wasn\u2019t so sure that was such a bad thing.\u00a0 She\u2019d met many who were gentlemen and wanted nothing more from her than her company.\u00a0 Little Joe Cartwright was like that.\u00a0 He was sweet and polite and had never taken advantage of her.<\/p>\n

Even though she wished that he would.<\/p>\n

Phoebe placed her hand on the doorknob and then stopped.\u00a0 She had caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror at the end of the hall.\u00a0 She was still wearing her blue dress from the night before and it was looking a little limp.\u00a0 So did she.\u00a0 Crossing to the mirror, she examined herself.\u00a0 What she saw was a woman who was pretty enough but not a beauty, with light red hair and pale pink skin.\u00a0 She had a slender figure, but the price paid for that was a long torso and longer legs and practically no bust.\u00a0 Taking both hands she lifted her breasts, careful to work the\u00a0 padding she had placed in her corset so they looked full and natural.<\/p>\n

Without the padding she looked like a boy.<\/p>\n

Phoebe turned back and looked at the door to her room.\u00a0 The sun was up and all too soon Adam Cartwright would take his brother home to recover.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t want to see Little Joe go.\u00a0 Last night as she lay in bed, trying to sleep, an idea had formed in her mind.\u00a0 It was crazy, but she was going to ask Joe\u2019s brother anyhow.\u00a0 She was going to offer to go with them to the Ponderosa so she could take care of Little Joe.\u00a0 She had no idea if Little Joe\u2019s older brother would accept, or even listen to her.\u00a0 After all, there was no reason he should.\u00a0 From what she understood Ben Cartwright and Little Joe\u2019s other brother were away.\u00a0 Adam would have work to do running the ranch and would need someone to stay in the house in case Little Joe had a need, and she wanted to be the one.\u00a0 Phoebe smiled ruefully.\u00a0 More than once Little Joe Cartwright had taken on someone who had insulted her and ended up with a black eye for his troubles.\u00a0 That alone would have made her love him, but it wasn\u2019t only that.\u00a0 He was all<\/em> man.\u00a0 She\u2019d taken a turn or two on the floor with him and there had been strength in the hands that encircled her waist.\u00a0 On top of that, he was handsome.\u00a0 She\u2019d never seen a man so<\/em> handsome and with such a winning smile.\u00a0 She loved his laugh and everything else about him.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, Little Joe didn\u2019t love her.<\/p>\n

But maybe he could.\u00a0 Maybe nursing him back to health would make him fall….<\/p>\n

Phoebe shook herself.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 That was wrong.\u00a0 That was taking advantage of an injured man.\u00a0 Maybe she shouldn\u2019t even ask Adam if she could go.\u00a0 She\u2019d probably just mess up like she did the last time and end up just as desperate.<\/p>\n

Phoebe let her confusion out in a sigh as she opened the door.\u00a0 Adam Cartwright was sitting on the bed with his head against the headboard.\u00a0 He was holding Little Joe in his arms.\u00a0 Both of them were asleep.\u00a0 Crossing over to the bed, she stared at the oldest of Ben Cartwright\u2019s sons. She didn\u2019t know Adam well.\u00a0 She\u2019d passed him in the street now and then, but most of the time she saw him in the Bucket when he showed up to drag his brother home.\u00a0 Adam was handsome as well, but then that wasn\u2019t a surprise.\u00a0 Their father was handsome too and, though she had never seen a likeness of their mothers, she couldn\u2019t imagine the almost regal Ben Cartwright marrying anything other than a beauty.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hair was dark and straight, where Joe\u2019s was a mass of brown curls.\u00a0 The eldest Cartwright son was taller and had a stockier build.\u00a0 Adam was like an oak, sturdy and unbending. Little Joe was more like a sapling, slender and flexible.\u00a0 Hoss, the middle son of Ben Cartwright, was a question mark as far as looks, but not as far as what he was made of.\u00a0 Hoss Cartwright was big as a mountain and, while he was not handsome, was the sweetest man she had ever met.<\/p>\n

Well, other than Little Joe.<\/p>\n

She hated to wake Adam, but she needed her things.\u00a0 Beside, the doctor would be returning soon and he would have to move then.\u00a0 A few minutes more sleep wouldn\u2019t make much of a difference.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d she said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

One hazel eye opened languidly and then shut again.\u00a0 A second later Adam let out a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cI was hoping this was all a bad dream,\u201d he said as he looked down at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cNo such luck, I see.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOur cook\u2019s in and there\u2019s food downstairs.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go get some?\u00a0 You have<\/em> to be hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThat I am, though I couldn\u2019t say I really have much of an appetite.\u201d\u00a0 The man in black shifted and slipped out from under his brother who moaned quietly as he laid him back on the nest of pillows.\u00a0 \u201cJoe had a rough time sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n

From the look of him, so had Adam.\u00a0 \u201cDid he say anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

The black-haired man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 At least nothing that made sense.\u201d\u00a0 Adam ran a hand over his face.\u00a0 Then he turned and looked at her wash stand.\u00a0 \u201cMay I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe water\u2019s old.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled as he headed that way.\u00a0 \u201cOld or cold, it\u2019s still water.\u201d<\/p>\n

That made her laugh.\u00a0 \u201cPlease, go ahead.\u201d\u00a0 As Little Joe\u2019s brother tossed water on his face, Phoebe took a seat in the chair beside the bed.\u00a0 She hesitated only a moment and then reached out and took hold of Little Joe\u2019s hand.\u00a0 As she did she noted the rope burns on his wrists. Touching one of the red marks, she asked quietly, \u201cWho would do such a thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced at her.\u00a0 \u201cA lot of men, unfortunately.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned toward him.\u00a0 He was drying his face now.\u00a0 \u201cFor a suit of clothes and maybe a few dollars?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s hard to say.\u00a0 Maybe it was someone who was desperate.\u00a0 Prisoners have been known to kill men for their clothes so they can wear them and pretend to be someone else.\u00a0 A few dollars would be more than enough for the likes of that kind of man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that what you think happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe watched him consider it.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d he said at last.\u00a0 \u201cThis seems…more personal<\/em> somehow.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, I hate to ask it, but can you stay with Joe while I go find someone to carry a message to Pa and another one to the Ponderosa?\u00a0 Pa needs to know what\u2019s happened and I need to at least make an attempt to keep the ranch going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m happy to.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be free all day.\u00a0 Today is the day when I usually go to help my mother.\u00a0 She\u2019s expecting me, but knows sometimes I don\u2019t show due to changes in my schedule.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cAdam….\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had moved to the door.\u00a0 He turned back with his hand on the knob.\u00a0 \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you need someone to look after Joe once you get him home, I\u2019d….\u00a0 I\u2019d be glad to go to the Ponderosa with you.\u00a0 If it would help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s very kind of you, Phoebe,\u201d Joe\u2019s brother replied.\u00a0 \u201cBut I don\u2019t know that it\u2019s necessary.\u00a0 Hop Sing is there \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnother man?\u201d\u00a0 The redhead released her grip on Little Joe\u2019s arm.\u00a0 She stood and walked to Adam\u2019s side.\u00a0 \u201cReally, I want <\/em>to. Little Joe\u2019s been so kind to me.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t be any bother. I\u2019ll just sit with him and keep out of your way.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man in black seemed to consider it.\u00a0 \u201cAfter I send the message, I should<\/em> ride out and meet with our foreman and take a look at what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 Hop Sing is a wonderful man, but he has his duties to attend to as well.\u201d\u00a0 His eyes went to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cAt this point I would <\/em>hate to leave Joe alone for very long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wouldn\u2019t be.\u00a0 He\u2019d be with me.\u201d\u00a0 When he said nothing, she tried again.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t you take me with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam came over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll consider it, and let you know before I leave.\u00a0 How\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was more than she could have hoped for, and probably more than she deserved.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

The black-haired man returned to the open doorway.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back after I send Pa word.\u00a0 Hopefully Doc Martin will have returned by then.\u00a0 I think he needs to take a closer look at Joe.\u00a0 He has injuries I don\u2019t….\u201d Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI need to get him home.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s been through enough and he should be in his own bed.\u00a0 I hope the Doc will say it\u2019s all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said his rounds would take about four hours and he was heading out at first light.\u00a0 It shouldn\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u00a0 Thank you again, Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

After Adam disappeared through the door, the redhead rose and followed.\u00a0 She stood in the hall, half-in and half-out of her room, listening as he greeted the barkeep below, wondering what it would be like to belong to a family like the Cartwrights \u2013 not for the money, but for the caring<\/em>.\u00a0 She\u2019d never had one day when she looked forward to her father\u2019s return, or one moment when she thought he cared.\u00a0 Elijah Howath had been hard-nosed hard-drinking man who had driven his wife and children away before he killed himself by falling off the side of a bridge and drowning as he headed home one night drunk as a skunk.<\/p>\n

What would it be like to be the child of Ben Cartwright?<\/p>\n

With a sigh Phoebe stepped back into the room and closed the door and then went to the window and dreamed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stepped out of the mercantile still thinking about the note he had sent to his pa by way of Billy Whitman, a neighbor\u2019s boy.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t wanted it to be too vague.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to frighten Pa by leaving out details but then again, he hesitated to make it too specific as well.\u00a0 In the end he had simply said that Joe had been robbed and he was hurt and they needed to hurry home.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t quite the whole truth, but then again he didn\u2019t know what the whole<\/em> truth was.<\/p>\n

So deep was he in thought as he made his way down the boardwalk that he almost collided with an older woman who was hurrying past.\u00a0 As it was she dropped half her packages.\u00a0 He offered to help carry them to her wagon as an apology and she accepted.\u00a0 As they rounded the corner he noticed two men deep in conversation out front of the livery.<\/p>\n

One was Jude Lowery and the other, Bexley Lanahan.<\/p>\n

For a moment he was surprised to find them in town, but then he remembered that it was Saturday and Jude had a poker game planned for that night.\u00a0 They were probably free for the day and had decided to spend it in town.\u00a0 As he loaded the lady\u2019s packages on her wagon, Jude noticed him.\u00a0 The tall blond man waved and then he and Bexley began to make their way over.<\/p>\n

Jude waited until the woman\u2019s wagon pulled away before asking, \u201cHow\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout the same,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you two doing in town so early?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here on ranch business,\u201d Bexley replied.\u00a0 \u201cThen I\u2019m staying on for the poker game.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here on my own<\/em> business,\u201d Jude said with a shrug.\u00a0 \u201cThere a law against a man coming into town on a Saturday I don\u2019t know about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry.\u201d\u00a0 Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cAfter what happened to Joe, I guess everything seems suspicious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not thinking one of us had anything to do with it?\u201d Bexley asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Like I said, sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Adam felt bad. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to suggest anything like that.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you fellows join me at the saloon later and I\u2019ll buy you a beer as an apology.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude looked at Bexley.\u00a0 He turned back with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cSounds good to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Later, as he returned the Bucket of Blood, Adam found the doctor was not back yet from making his rounds.\u00a0 The barkeep told him Phoebe was upstairs with Joe, so he went to the back room and located Bexley and Jude and then ordered three beers.\u00a0 After that he joined them at a table in the corner.\u00a0 For the moment, the establishment had only a few patrons.\u00a0 That was soon to change.\u00a0 The saloon would awaken as the sun went down and not sleep again until two or three in the morning.<\/p>\n

Adam thanked the girl who delivered the beers as he sat down.\u00a0 After taking a sip of his, he kicked his chair back, closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall.<\/p>\n

God, he was weary!<\/p>\n

Jude took a swig and then asked, \u201cYou get any sleep, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome,\u201d he replied without opening his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas Joe awake at all?\u00a0 Was he able to tell you anything more?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened his eyes and righted his chair.\u00a0 Rest was apparently not something he was going to find in the other men\u2019s company.\u00a0 \u201cHe woke up once or twice, but he was out of his head.\u00a0 I hope things will be clearer for him today.\u201d\u00a0 The man in black took another sip.\u00a0 \u201cBexley, did you remember anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley\u2019s brown head shook.\u00a0 \u201cI told you everything I know.\u00a0 I woke up and found Joe in the shape he arrived here in.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t look for tracks last night, but I did on the way in today. There\u2019s plenty there.\u00a0 Nothing looked significant.\u201d\u00a0 He took a sip.\u00a0 \u201cYou know Pointer\u2019s Arch is a favorite spot for couples who are spooning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeen there myself a few times,\u201d Adam admitted.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I was younger, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you send a message to your Pa?\u201d Jude asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cEarly this morning.\u00a0 Hopefully the rider will overtake Hoss and him before they get too far.\u00a0 They\u2019ve only been on the road for a day, so they shouldn\u2019t have made it much farther than Reno.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused to take a drink.\u00a0 While he did the saloon doors swung open and Doc Martin entered.<\/p>\n

When he saw him, the older man headed his way.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u00a0 Boys,\u201d the doctor said, acknowledging their presence with a tip of his hat.\u00a0 Then he asked, his voiced laced with concern.\u00a0 \u201cWho\u2019s with Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhoebe,\u201d Adam replied with a wan smile.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not sure when it comes time to take Joe home that she\u2019s going to let him go.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor nodded.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s a fine girl and a good nurse.\u00a0 I think you should consider taking her up on her offer to go home with you.\u00a0 The Ponderosa could use a feminine touch and it would definitely be good for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why did it surprise him that the Doc knew about Phoebe\u2019s offer?\u00a0 The older man seemed to know just about everything.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m thinking about it,\u201d he replied.\u00a0 \u201cYou look tired, Doc.\u00a0 Would you like a drink or something to eat before you see Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thank you, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to head up.\u201d The older man\u2019s gaze flicked to Bexley and Jude and then back to him.\u00a0 \u201cWill you still be here when I get done with the examination?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m be in town as long as Joe is,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery good.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you shortly then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam watched the older man ascend the stairs and disappear around a corner.\u00a0 Then he stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou going somewhere, Adam?\u201d Jude asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought, while I am in town, that I may as well do some business.\u00a0 The Doc will be with Joe for a while.\u201d\u00a0 He paused, looking at the stair again.\u00a0 \u201cAre you two going to stay here or head out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want us to wait until the Doc\u2019s done and let you know?\u201d Bexley asked intuitively.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cIf it\u2019s no trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude finished his beer and then signaled one of the girls to bring him another.\u00a0 \u201cNo trouble at all,\u201d he said with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll just start the game a little early.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright sat on a boulder by the side of the road.\u00a0 He looked up, noting the time by the sun, and then went back to removing his boots.\u00a0 It was nearly sundown and his feet were sore.\u00a0 He meant to work the pain out of them before they began walking again.\u00a0 He and Hoss had walked nearly ten miles and they were about worn out.\u00a0 A man could cover roughly twenty on foot in a day if pressed, but that didn\u2019t take into account the weather \u2013 which was brisk and breezy \u2013 or the fifty-plus years he had spent walking on them.\u00a0 Turning over his boots, Ben knocked the debris out of them and then sat them beside him.\u00a0 It felt good just to let his feet rest for a spell.<\/p>\n

Since he was half his age, Hoss was still on his feet and had suggested he scout ahead.\u00a0 There really was no need, but he knew his son was having trouble sitting still.\u00a0 Each hour brought them closer to home and he had to admit that he was growing impatient as well.\u00a0 He would have preferred\u00a0 to be in the big blue chair by the fire sipping a brandy instead of out here in the wild using a rock as a seat.\u00a0 He and Hoss had talked about it and, if they could, intended to travel through the night.\u00a0 There was really little reason to stop and the sooner he was home, the sooner he could send one of the men to Winnemucca and get word to the horse trader that they were going to be late.<\/p>\n

As he sat there, rubbing his feet, Ben\u2019s thoughts turned to the past.\u00a0 Where had they gone, those thirty years from the time he had married and lost Elizabeth and started out to pursue his dream?\u00a0 Though he rarely had a moment when he was astonished to find Adam a grown man, the fact that Joe was nearly one made him feel old \u2013 not in a bad way, but in the way a man did when his life was drawing near to its end.\u00a0 If his followed the pattern that was known to man, he might have no more than ten or fifteen years of living to go.<\/p>\n

What kind of legacy would he leave behind?<\/p>\n

Adam, he imagined, would return to the East one day.\u00a0 His oldest son was here for him and for his brothers, he knew that.\u00a0 And though Adam\u2019s heart might be in Nevada, linked to the land he had helped to clear and the home he had designed and created, there was a call he would have to answer one day.<\/p>\n

Maybe soon.<\/p>\n

Hoss, well Hoss would never leave this land. In the end it might be his alone.\u00a0 There was nothing he knew for certain, but Joseph had a little bit of what Adam had and he worried that his youngest would be drawn away one day, discontent with a rancher\u2019s life, and take off for parts unknown.<\/p>\n

It was what a parent did, prepare your child for the world and for taking it on.\u00a0 Still, in every parent\u2019s heart was the love and need of the little children that had loved and needed them<\/em> \u2013 the ones who sought the safety of hearth and home.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned at the sound of his middle son\u2019s voice.\u00a0\u00a0 The big man had returned without him hearing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone\u2019s comin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked down.\u00a0 \u201cI better get my boots on then.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son nodded as he drew his gun and turned back toward the south.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a rider.\u00a0 He\u2019s comin\u2019 fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no reason the rider that approached should have had anything to do with them.\u00a0 Still, as he began to pull his boots back on, a chill snaked down Ben\u2019s back.\u00a0 It was almost a presentiment.<\/p>\n

Somehow he knew, whoever it was, they were looking for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s almost here, Pa.\u00a0 What do you want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFlag him down, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u201d\u00a0 He nodded toward the road.\u00a0 \u201cBut we\u2019re about to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n

The rider came into view.\u00a0 It was young boy.\u00a0 As he approached Ben recognized him as Bill Whitman, one of their neighbor\u2019s middle boys who was around thirteen.\u00a0 When he arrived the boy slid from the saddle as only boys could do, without waiting for the horse to stop, and ran to his side.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright!\u00a0 I\u2019m mighty glad to see you!\u00a0 But what are you doing here? I thought I\u2019d have to ride all the way to Winnemucca.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss came up beside them.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you too, Billy.\u00a0 Our feet are sure<\/em> sore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOur horses were stolen the first night out, Bill, along with everything on them,\u201d Ben explained.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve been walking ever since.\u201d\u00a0 The older man frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWere you looking for us?\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI sure was.\u201d\u00a0 He reached into his shirt and pulled out a crumpled note.\u00a0 \u201cThis here\u2019s from Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben took it.\u00a0 \u201cDo you know what this is about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think so, sir.\u00a0 But I ain\u2019t gonna say.\u00a0 You better read it.\u00a0 That way you\u2019ll get Adam\u2019s version instead of the one off the street.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss came to stand beside him.\u00a0 \u201cThat don\u2019t sound good, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s brown eyes flicked to his son and then back to the note.\u00a0 He opened it with foreboding and quickly scanned the few lines it contained.\u00a0 As a pit opened in his stomach, he handed it to Hoss who read it and turned a grim face on him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019re we gonna do, Pa?\u00a0 We ain\u2019t got no horses.\u00a0 It\u2019s gonna take us another day to get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright?\u201d Billy broke in.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son?\u201d he answered, distracted.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it about Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bill Whitman knew his youngest, of course.\u00a0 They were not that<\/em> far apart in years.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Bill.\u00a0 It says Joe was injured during a robbery on the road coming home.\u00a0 Do you know anything more about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly that I seen Doc Martin comin\u2019 and goin\u2019 day and night out of the Bucket.\u00a0 Me and Pa were stayin\u2019 in town, waitin on a shipment of supplies and \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Bucket?\u00a0 What\u2019s Joe doing at the saloon?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

The boy shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t rightly know, sir.\u00a0 I think it was closer than takin\u2019 him to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d\u00a0 That meant Joe had been hurt badly. \u00a0As he pondered what action to take, Ben\u2019s eyes lighted on the boy\u2019s horse.\u00a0 \u201cBill….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can have her, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man blinked.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMollie.\u00a0 My horse.\u00a0 You can have her, Mister Cartwright.\u00a0 I\u2019ll walk back with Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 The boy turned and looked at his middle son.\u00a0 \u201cIf\u2019n that\u2019s all right with you, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll be just fine, Billy,\u201d the big man said, laying a hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I hate to leave you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou go take care of Joe, Pa.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you worry about me none.\u201d\u00a0 He looked at the boy.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll have a mighty fine time walkin\u2019 back to town, won\u2019t we, Billy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben extended his hand.\u00a0 When Billy took it, he shook the boy\u2019s again.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Seconds later the silver-haired man was mounted on Mollie and flying down the road toward his youngest son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

FOUR<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Toward suppertime, as the poker game started in earnest, Doc Martin came down the stairs.\u00a0 The older man hesitated for a moment at the bottom and then, when he spotted him, motioned for him to follow.\u00a0 Adam rose from his seat and did so, more than content to leave the smoke and noise of a busy evening at the saloon behind.\u00a0 The air was brisk and he drew his collar up close as he stepped onto the boardwalk and the wind struck his face.\u00a0 From the feel of it, winter might come early this year.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin was standing in the street, waiting for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc?\u201d he asked as he stepped off the deck to join him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought we\u2019d talk in my office, Adam.\u00a0 Joe needs his rest, and it would be impossible in the saloon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd here I thought you had something to say that you didn\u2019t want anyone else to hear,\u201d Adam replied with a tight smile.<\/p>\n

The older man\u2019s reaction was not what he expected.\u00a0 The doctor\u2019s jaw clenched and he pursed his lips.\u00a0 \u201cYou were always the perceptive one.\u00a0 Now, come on.\u00a0 I\u2019m an old man and this cold is doing me no good.\u201d<\/p>\n

They walked in silence through the dark to the doctor\u2019s office, passing several strangers including a bothersome drunk and a tall man in a fine San Francisco suit who grudgingly got out of their way at the last second.\u00a0 Once inside the office, the older man lit the lamp on his desk and then sat wearily in the chair behind it.\u00a0 He ran a hand over his eyes and looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, if you will, go the cabinet beside the door and bring the smallest bottle you find there to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d he said.\u00a0 When he got there Adam found the key in the keyhole.\u00a0 He turned it and opened the door.\u00a0 The cupboard held several bottles of brandy, which he knew were used to treat patients, as well as a bottle of cheaper whiskey like you\u2019d find in the saloon. The little one was bourbon and it dated to the first part of the century.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet two glasses.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced back at him.\u00a0 \u201cNo, thanks, Doc.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t had anything to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, get two<\/em> glasses.\u201d<\/p>\n

Something turned in his stomach at the doctor\u2019s words.\u00a0 He waited for the moment to pass and then removed the bottle from the cupboard and picked up a pair of glasses from the table next to it.\u00a0 Returning to the desk, Adam placed the bottle and glasses on top of the smooth surface and sat in the chair opposite \u2013 the one usually reserved for family members who were waiting to hear if the news about their loved one was good or bad.<\/p>\n

Like he was now.<\/p>\n

The older man reached for the bottle.\u00a0 He removed the stopper and filled both glasses half-full.\u00a0 He shoved one toward him and then sat back and sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs something wrong with Joe?\u201d Adam blurted out, unable to bear the suspense any longer.\u00a0 When Doc Martin hesitated, he said, \u201cTell me straight, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, Adam.\u00a0 You\u2019re old enough to call me by my Christian name.\u201d\u00a0 The older man took a sip of his whiskey.\u00a0 \u201cDrink that and then I will.\u201d\u00a0 With a sad smile he added, \u201cAll <\/em>of it.\u00a0 Doctor\u2019s orders.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyebrows shot up but he obeyed, downing about half of the drink in one swallow.\u00a0 As the warmth coursed through him, he felt that shift \u2013 the one that came when the liquor hit an empty stomach and was about to kick hard.\u00a0 If he finished the whole thing that quickly, he\u2019d be numb.<\/p>\n

Then again, maybe that was the point.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin was staring at his glass, not looking at him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I\u2019ve been doctoring for nearly four decades and I have dealt with just about everything and anything that can be done to a man by another man.\u00a0 I try not to despair, but at times it\u2019s difficult.\u201d\u00a0 He drew a long breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0 When he spoke again, his voice trembled.\u00a0 \u201cAt times it is hard to believe that we are all<\/em> God\u2019s creatures.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc….\u00a0 Paul, what are you trying to tell me?\u201d\u00a0 He swallowed over his fear.\u00a0 \u201cIs Joe going to die?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry if I gave you that impression.\u201d\u00a0 Paul knit his fingers around the glass and leaned forward.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I\u2019m not prevaricating.\u00a0 What I am about to tell you is based on longtime experience, not fact.\u00a0 It\u2019s something you will never know for sure until Joe tells you himself \u2013 and he may never<\/em> tell you what happened. He may not remember <\/em>what happened.\u201d\u00a0 He lifted the glass and downed the remainder of the golden-brown liquid in it.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re the one who has to bear this burden.\u201c<\/p>\n

He was a grown man.\u00a0 Over thirty.\u00a0 He\u2019d faced down mountain lions and wolves, battled Indians, and stood off an army of outlaws, and he was scared.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean \u2018burden\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cThere are things, Adam, that once a man has seen \u2013 or heard \u2013 he can never forget.\u00a0 Even if what he saw or heard ultimately turns out to be untrue, there\u2019s still a stain left on his soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, I\u2019m going to be honest here.\u00a0 You\u2019re scaring me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that I think, in time, your brother will need someone to talk to and, Adam, I\u2019m afraid \u2013 due to the circumstances \u2013 that\u2019s you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Afraid?<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u00a0 So tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst of all, let me remind you that this is based on my diagnosis of Joe\u2019s injuries and nothing else.\u00a0 I could be wrong.\u201d\u00a0 The older man sat back in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did you<\/em> think when you examined your brother more closely?\u201d<\/p>\n

The image of Joe\u2019s bruises flashed through his conscious mind \u2013 the imprints of fingers on his brother\u2019s neck, the marks on his thighs, and the fact that there were more on his backside.\u00a0 \u201cI found it odd that Joe was attacked from the back instead of the front.\u00a0 Usually a man who beats someone wants them to see him and he<\/em> wants to watch them squirm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 That struck me as odd too.\u00a0 The bruising on the inner thigh bothered me.\u00a0 It\u2019s part of what made me look further.\u201d\u00a0 The older man hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t go into the details, Adam, but what I found leads me to conclude that your brother has been assaulted.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a moment he was confused.\u00a0 \u201cOf course, Joe \u2018s been assaulted,\u201d he countered, hearing the frustration in his tone.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what brought us here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you\u2019re not listening.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t say Joe was beaten, though he definitely was.\u00a0 I said he was assaulted<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Time stopped.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man\u2019s\u00a0 eyes remained locked on his.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam.\u00a0 All the signs point to Joe being taken advantage of by whoever attacked him.\u00a0 The only consolation is that he was unconscious for most of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam remained completely still for several heartbeats and then exploded out of the chair.\u00a0 Unable to contain the raw emotion that rushed into and over and through him, he began to pace the room like a caged lion.\u00a0 \u201cGod!\u00a0 No!\u201d\u00a0 He turned on the older man.\u00a0 The word came out of his mouth again, soft as a prayer.\u00a0 \u201cGod….\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t be certain, and that\u2019s the hard part.\u00a0 Only Joe knows what happened and his memory of what occurred may be buried so deeply it will never surface.\u201d\u00a0 The older man paused.\u00a0 \u201cThe problem is, even though he doesn\u2019t consciously remember it, the assault still happened and it may…change him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChange him how?\u201d he asked as he fought for control.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s physical injuries will heal quickly.\u00a0 He\u2019s young and strong.\u00a0 But there will be other wounds, ones that are not seen.\u00a0 It may take some time, but they will <\/em>surface.\u00a0 Your brother may become quiet and grow sullen, or wild and reckless.\u00a0 There will be nightmares.\u00a0 Joe may feel like he\u2019s going through it all again.\u00a0 He may withdraw from you and from the rest of the family.\u00a0 He could become frightened and refuse to venture out.\u00a0 Or all of the above.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stopped in his pacing.\u00a0 \u201cYou sound like you\u2019ve dealt with this before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am sorry to say that I have.\u00a0 This kind of assault, particularly on a young man that is attractive in a certain way that many would view as vulnerable, is more common than most think, especially here in the West where men highly outnumber women.\u201d\u00a0 The older man waited until he met his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s another thing you need to understand, Adam.\u00a0 What happened to Joe has little to do with desire or attraction, though that can be a part of it.\u00a0 Like any other type of bullying, this sort of thing has to do with a need to own and to have power over someone else.\u201d\u00a0 The older man paused.\u00a0 \u201cNow do you understand why I said it was a \u2018burden\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam dropped back into the chair.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to tell you father, or would you rather I do it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s words hung in the air.<\/p>\n

Pa.\u00a0 Dear God.<\/em>\u00a0 Of course, Pa would have to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell him,\u201d he said, his voice breaking with the weight of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure that\u2019s for the best.\u201d\u00a0 The older man rose and came to stand by him.\u00a0 He placed a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, is there anything I can do for you?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

As he sat there contemplating what the action of one unconscionable, unscrupulous and unprincipled man had done to his brother and what it was likely to do to his family, Adam\u2019s jaw grew tight.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s voice was quiet.\u00a0 \u201cI seriously doubt that you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll kill him.\u00a0 I swear when I find out who did this, I will kill <\/em>him with my bare hands!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf<\/em> you find out \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I will.\u00a0 Have no doubt about that.\u00a0 With God<\/em> as my witness, no one is going to do something like this to a member of my family and go unpunished.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd when the man is punished, if by \u2018punished\u2019 you mean \u2018dead\u2019, who will that help \u2013 Joe?\u00a0 Or are you thinking of yourself?\u201d the older man asked softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere has<\/em> to be justice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, tempered with mercy.\u00a0 Let\u2019s concentrate on the mercy first, son.\u00a0 Take your brother home.\u00a0 Help him heal.\u00a0 Let Roy Coffee look for the man who did this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy can\u2019t know,\u201d he snapped.\u00a0 \u201cNo one<\/em> can know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree, but only because man is a flawed creature incapable of forgetting, even when he is <\/em>capable of forgiving.\u00a0 If this got out, it could<\/em> destroy your brother.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just give Roy the facts.\u00a0 Joe was robbed and beaten.\u00a0 That\u2019s more than enough for the law to hunt down the man who did it.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor ran a hand across his eyes again and then pinched the bone between them.\u00a0 \u201cThis old man has about had it.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m for my bed.\u00a0 How about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t <\/em>sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen go to Joe.\u00a0 Be there when he awakens, and remember, at the moment the burden is yours alone.\u00a0 Joe may have no memory of the assault.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh God…. I hope not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have watched you and your brothers \u2013 Ben Cartwright\u2019s sons.\u00a0 If love can pull a man through this, Joe will be fine.\u00a0 Between you and your father and Hoss, I am sure he will heal even if <\/em>he remembers.\u00a0 It will just take time.\u201d\u00a0 The older man looked at him hard, as if sensing his need to be alone.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, would you like to stay here for a while before returning to the saloon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s not too much trouble,\u201d he said quietly, his voice robbed of all strength by the weight of the last day\u2019s events.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay as long as you want.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be at my house if you need me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll check in on Joe again in a few hours.\u00a0 I imagine you\u2019ll be able to take him home tomorrow.\u201d\u00a0 The older man reflected a moment.\u00a0 \u201cIt would be best if he was home during his convalescence, surrounded by the things that give him security.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, well beyond words.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see you later today then.\u00a0 If you feel you are able, once you see Joe, try to get some sleep.\u00a0 You will do your brother little good if you are so tired you make mistakes.\u00a0 And Adam….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain, I urge you.\u00a0 Let the law<\/em> take care of this.\u00a0 Your brother needs you now, at his side, not running off half-cocked looking for a shadow in the night.\u201d<\/p>\n

A second later the door to the doctor\u2019s office closed and he was alone.<\/p>\n

Adam remained where he was in the chair by the desk.\u00a0 As he contemplated what might have been done to his brother, his fingers began to drum on the chair\u2019s wooden arms.\u00a0 His breathing became rapid, his heart raced, and his skin prickled as if someone had staked him to the ground beside an ant hill and ordered all of the ants to run over him.<\/p>\n

Assaulted?<\/em>\u00a0 Joe?<\/p>\n

Was such a thing possible?<\/em><\/p>\n

And what \u2013 and how <\/em>\u2013 was he going to tell his father?<\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes, fighting the effects of the alcohol on a stomach that had had no food.\u00a0 He breathed deep, fighting for balance, seeking some kind of center.\u00a0 Slow down, he thought.\u00a0 Slow<\/em> down.\u00a0 Nothing was certain yet.\u00a0 Nothing would be until he talked to Joe.\u00a0 The doctor had been careful to make it clear that his \u2018diagnosis\u2019 was a speculative one.\u00a0 Maybe it didn\u2019t<\/em> happen.\u00a0 Maybe Joe had simply been beaten and robbed.<\/p>\n

No.\u00a0 That didn\u2019t wash.\u00a0 Why would a robber take his clothes?<\/p>\n

Ill at ease, Adam rose from the chair and walked to the window to look out on the town.\u00a0 How different it looked in the light of everything he had just heard.\u00a0 Wandering around out there was someone who could do <\/em>this to a man.\u00a0 Maybe it was even someone they knew….<\/p>\n

No.\u00a0 If<\/em> it happened.\u00a0 Remember that.\u00a0 If.<\/em><\/p>\n

Remembering that <\/em>might be the only thing that kept him sane.<\/p>\n

Feeling confined, Adam began to pace as he had before, thinking furiously.\u00a0 He needed to get Joe back to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Maybe there, with familiar things around him, his brother would feel like talking.\u00a0 From the little he\u2019d said it seemed Joe remembered being attacked, but it was unclear if he remembered anything about what happened after he was struck and knocked to the ground.<\/p>\n

And straddled.<\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes.\u00a0 Sickened.<\/p>\n

No.\u00a0 If.\u00a0 Remember, if<\/em>.<\/p>\n

If…<\/p>\n

His eyes flew open.\u00a0 What if it did happen and Joe never <\/em>remembered?\u00a0 Would that be a good <\/em>thing?\u00a0 The Doc seemed to think otherwise.\u00a0 How?\u00a0 How could what a man forgot <\/em>hurt him?\u00a0 Adam drew several harsh breaths.\u00a0 And how could he tell his father when he wasn\u2019t sure it had happened at all?\u00a0 Like Paul Martin said, once a man heard those words they would never leave him.\u00a0 They would be a blight to his soul.<\/p>\n

Could he do<\/em> that to his father when he wasn\u2019t sure?<\/p>\n

What if he was the only one who ever knew?\u00a0 Could he take that?<\/p>\n

Was he strong enough?<\/p>\n

Adam pressed his hands to the sides of his head.\u00a0 It felt like it was going to explode.\u00a0 He turned back to the desk and stared at the bottle and the empty glass.\u00a0 Doc Martin had left them there \u2013 for him, he was sure.\u00a0 He could down the whole bottle and go blessedly numb and forget.\u00a0 Dear God<\/em>, how he wanted to forget!<\/p>\n

But he couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

There was still justice to be done.\u00a0 No matter whether or not any kind of assault had happened besides the beating Joe had taken, his baby brother had still been robbed and nearly killed and justice had<\/em> to be done.<\/p>\n

He needed to see Roy.<\/p>\n

Coming to a decision, Adam walked to the mirror that hung on the office wall and looked at his image.\u00a0 He was unkempt.\u00a0 His hair was in disarray and he had a full day\u2019s growth of stubble on his chin.\u00a0 The bags under his eyes had bags of their own.\u00a0 Looking around, he found some water and splashed it on his face, and then located a comb and ran it through his hair.\u00a0 After that, he looked again.\u00a0 Satisfied that he wouldn\u2019t frighten any children in the street, the black-haired man passed through the room to the door.\u00a0 Opening it, he stepped out and waited as several horses passed by.\u00a0 Then he headed for the jail.<\/p>\n

He was halfway there when he heard someone call his name.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked.\u00a0 Unfortunately, he didn\u2019t know whether to run toward<\/em> the man who shouted or away<\/em> from him.<\/p>\n

It was Pa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His son looked like he had been to Hell and back.<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright dismounted, tethered his horse, and crossed over to Adam as quickly as he could.\u00a0 \u201cSon.\u00a0 How\u2019s your brother?\u00a0 How\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s okay, Pa,\u201d his eldest replied wearily.<\/p>\n

Relief flooded through him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s okay?<\/em>\u00a0 From your message I thought….\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Pa,\u201d he said as he ran a hand across his stubbled chin.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s not <\/em>okay.\u00a0 I just meant that the Doc said there\u2019s no danger of him dying and he\u2019ll heal.\u201d\u00a0 His eldest paused.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s been badly beaten.\u00a0 Worse than what happened with Reagan.\u201d<\/p>\n

That gave him pause.\u00a0 Ben could still remember that moment when Hoss carried his badly beaten brother into the hotel where he had been staying, keeping watch over Adah Menken.\u00a0 At first, he had feared the boy was dead.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy whom?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

The words were out before he thought better of them.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you think you should <\/em>know?\u201d<\/p>\n

They struck Adam like a hand.\u00a0 Seldom had he seen his oldest boy come close to tears.\u00a0 He was now.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa,\u201d Adam replied, his voice breaking. \u201cI\u2019ve talked to the man who was with Joe.\u00a0 He was knocked out at the same time and doesn\u2019t remember a thing.\u00a0 I was just heading over to the jail to see if Roy could gather up some men and we could \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s with your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the girls from the saloon.\u201d\u00a0 At his look, his son added, \u201cIt\u2019s Phoebe Howath.\u00a0 She\u2019s stayed with him since this happened.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s been kind to her and she feels she owes him.\u201d\u00a0 Adam met his skeptical stare. \u201cI trust her, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA saloon girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was I supposed to do?\u201d his eldest demanded, his voice growing sharp.\u00a0 \u201cPut Joe on a horse and ride him out to the ranch unconscious, with his backside\u2019s covered in bruises?\u00a0 The saloon was there and it was safe!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait.\u201d\u00a0 Ben frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWait.\u00a0 What?\u00a0 His backside?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam fell silent.\u00a0 He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHas Doc Martin seen him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeveral times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does Paul think?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son drew a long breath.\u00a0 \u201cThe Doc says Joe was struck from behind.\u00a0 He was trussed up and then beaten when he was laying on the ground.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hesitated.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

Something flashed momentarily in Adam\u2019s eyes before he answered. \u201cWhoever it was tried to strangle him, Pa.\u00a0 Joe has the marks of fingers on his throat.\u201d<\/p>\n

The horror of it struck him \u2013 his baby boy brutalized by some man who cared no more for human life than for a chicken\u2019s whose neck he would wring to feed his belly.\u00a0 Ben closed his eyes briefly in a attempt to process what he had just heard, and then opened them and fixed them again on Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYour note said the motive was robbery?\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, there was a slight hesitation.\u00a0 \u201cThe contents of his saddlebags were taken and….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoever it was, they took Joe\u2019s clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHis clothes?\u201d Ben paused, seeking to stem the tide of anger that rose in him at the indignity of it all.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, what aren\u2019t<\/em> you telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son looked him square in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cI swear, Pa, that\u2019s all I know for certain.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sensed there was more.\u00a0 Adam was hiding something or at least keeping it close.\u00a0 Dropping it for the moment, Ben moved on to another question that was nagging him.\u00a0 \u201cYou said Joe had someone with him at the time of the attack.\u00a0 Who?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had that look.\u00a0 The one he wore as a boy when he knew the switch was coming.\u00a0 \u201cBexley Lanahan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLanahan?\u00a0 Good God!\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t that boy ever listen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you don\u2019t like Jude or Bexley, but they\u2019ve both been a great help since this happened, especially Bexley.\u00a0 He\u2019s hurting too, Pa, and yet he\u2019s stayed with Joe when Phoebe\u2019s had to leave so Joe wouldn\u2019t be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you saying I\u2019ve misjudged him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m saying, give him a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben chewed on it a moment and then he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u00a0 Now, take me to your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The older man watched as his eldest son opened the door of one of the rooms on the saloon\u2019s second floor and stepped in.\u00a0 A second later a pretty young woman with golden-red hair exited.\u00a0 She nodded to him in passing but before he could say anything, headed quickly down the stairs.<\/p>\n

It looked like she had been crying.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

As he entered the room Ben drew a deep breath, steeling himself for what he would see.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t imagine Joe injuries this time could actually<\/em> be worse than the damage John C. Reagan\u2019s fists had inflicted.<\/p>\n

He was wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood God,\u201d he breathed as he looked down at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cDear Lord<\/em>….\u201d<\/p>\n

How<\/em> had this happened?<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s covers were thrown back so his upper body was exposed.\u00a0 He was curled to one side.\u00a0 On his upper arm, on the back of his shoulder, and on his neck there was redness and swelling.\u00a0 The worst of it was on his neck.\u00a0 The impressions left by fingers pressing into his flesh were deep and already passing from red to purple.<\/p>\n

It looked as if someone had tried to snap his neck.<\/p>\n

Ben threw his hat on the chair and sat on the bed beside his son.\u00a0 Reaching out, he gently touched Joe\u2019s sweat-soaked hair.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Joseph, it\u2019s Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Doc gave him a strong dose of laudanum,\u201d Adam said from the end of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s been sleeping pretty heavily ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at his son and nodded, and then tried again.\u00a0 Touching Joe\u2019s face, he said, \u201cJoseph.\u00a0 It\u2019s your father.\u201d<\/p>\n

At first there was no response, then his son seemed to swim up from somewhere.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes rolled behind the lids and his cracked lips parted.\u00a0 A second later his son\u2019s eyelids fluttered and opened, revealing the green eyes beneath.\u00a0 In spite of the influence of the drug, they were filled with pain.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho…?\u201d Joe murmured.<\/p>\n

Ben caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s me, son.\u00a0 Your pa.\u00a0 Your pa<\/em> is here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa….\u201d<\/p>\n

Listening to Joe\u2019s voice, so weak and pitiful and robbed of its normal vigor, was painful.\u00a0 He found himself trembling with his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u00a0 It\u2019s your pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Joe spoke his words were slurred.\u00a0 \u201cI…tried, Pa.\u00a0 I…tried to stop him….\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at Adam as his eldest shifted to Joe\u2019s other side.\u00a0 \u201cWho, Joe?\u00a0 Who <\/em>did this to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grew agitated. He curled up more tightly and moaned.\u00a0 \u201cNo….\u201d.<\/p>\n

Adam pressed it anyhow.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 You\u2019ve got<\/em> to tell us who <\/em>\u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, leave your brother be!\u201d Ben commanded, stopping him short.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you?\u00a0 Can\u2019t you see your questions are upsetting him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we need<\/em> to know \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cNot now!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s jaw clenched.\u00a0 He nodded once and then left the room.<\/p>\n

Ben considered going after him, but even as he did, Joe called him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa….\u201d<\/p>\n

He took Joe\u2019s other hand.\u00a0 \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

His youngest fought to focus on him.\u00a0 This time when Joe spoke his words were clearer, but they cost him dearly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou…gotta know….\u00a0 I tried…to…fight.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t win….\u201d\u00a0 Tears began to flow down his son\u2019s cheeks.\u00a0 \u201cI…couldn\u2019t<\/em>, Pa….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you did, son,\u201d he said, reaching out with his fingers and brushing back Joe\u2019s thick brown hair.\u00a0 \u201cNow\u2019s not the time to talk about it.\u00a0 We can do that when you\u2019re stronger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe murmured something else.\u00a0 He nodded as if content and then he was gone, lost in a drugged sleep.<\/p>\n

Ben sat there, holding his son\u2019s hand for several minutes, contemplating everything that had happened so far.\u00a0 As he did, the young woman who had left earlier appeared in the open doorway.\u00a0 She stood there with her hand on the jamb as if waiting for permission to enter.<\/p>\n

He pivoted to look at her.\u00a0 \u201cMiss Howath, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled.\u00a0 \u201cCall me Phoebe.\u00a0 Everyone does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhoebe,\u201d Ben repeated as he turned back to Joe and touched his face.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for looking after my son.\u00a0 Adam told me what a good job you\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

She hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m here about, Mister Cartwright.\u00a0 Your other<\/em> son.\u00a0 He needs you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOther son?\u201d he asked, puzzled.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded.<\/p>\n

It was only then he remembered Adam rushing out of the room \u2013 because of his<\/em> words.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the alley behind the saloon.\u201d\u00a0 Again, she paused.\u00a0 \u201cI think you should go to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe stepped into the room.\u00a0 \u201cNot hurt, no, but hurting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben frowned.\u00a0 He looked at Joe and then back to the young woman.\u00a0 \u201cWill you stay with Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead smiled.\u00a0 \u201cGladly.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man touched his son\u2019s face one more time and then rose and surrendered his seat.\u00a0 As Phoebe took it, he said, \u201cThank you.\u00a0 Thank you for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben left the room and hurried down the stairs.\u00a0 He knew the way out through the back door that emptied into the alley and took it without asking the proprietor if it was all right.\u00a0 As he passed through the saloon the sounds of normal life offended him. Nothing was normal nor would it be until Joe was healed and whoever had done this hateful thing to his son and to their family was caught and punished.<\/p>\n

Stepping out of the door Ben halted.\u00a0 He looked both ways and saw no one. \u00a0Walking to the end of the alley that backed the saloon he headed for the street, passing by the livery.\u00a0 A sense of movement in the stable\u2019s interior caught his attention.\u00a0 The silver-haired man stopped where he was.\u00a0 He waited a moment and then went in. \u00a0It wasn\u2019t the movement that drew him there.\u00a0 It was the sound he heard.<\/p>\n

Someone was sobbing.<\/p>\n

Quietly, Ben moved through the building\u2019s interior, passing the stalls both full and empty until he arrived at the back.\u00a0 He stopped then and listened again.\u00a0 He could hear someone breathing hard, fighting to control their emotions.\u00a0\u00a0 Following the sound the older man turned and entered the last of the stalls.<\/p>\n

His eldest was standing in the back, his arms splayed against the wall.\u00a0 When he heard him, Adam straightened up and ran a hand across his face, striking away the tears.\u00a0 \u201cGo away, Pa,\u201d he growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I regret my words to you.\u00a0 I was angry.\u00a0 Joe….\u201d<\/p>\n

His son shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not you, Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s me.\u00a0 I…\u00a0 I let Joe down.\u201d\u00a0 Adam turned his hazel eyes on him.\u00a0 In them was a world of pain.\u00a0 \u201cI<\/em> let Joe down.\u00a0 I should have been <\/em>there.\u00a0 Should have protected<\/em> him. I\u2019m the oldest!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He took a step toward his son.\u00a0 \u201cBeing the oldest doesn\u2019t make you responsible for your brother\u2019s choices.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s a man now.\u00a0 He \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s a kid!\u201d<\/em> Adam snapped.\u00a0 \u201cI should never have given in to him and let him stay in town.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to look like a baby in his friends\u2019 eyes.\u00a0 I humored him and now, look what happened.\u201d\u00a0 He struck his chest with his fist.\u00a0 \u201cLook what I<\/em> did!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s grief was palpable.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon,\u201d the silver-haired man said as he took a step forward.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re exhausted.\u00a0 You need to rest.\u00a0 Things will look different after you do.\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke between teeth clenched in agony.\u00a0 \u201cI need to find whoever did this to Joe and break<\/em> them in two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow will that help your brother now?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

Adam began to pace.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what Doc Martin said too.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know<\/em>, Pa.\u00a0 But I have to do something!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGo sit with your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son stopped.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s chin fell to his chest.\u00a0 When he spoke, his voice was so quiet, it was near impossible to hear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t, Pa.\u00a0 I…can\u2019t<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was almost close enough to touch him.\u00a0 Just a step or two more.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, what\u2019s happened to Joe is upsetting, but this \u2013 what is this?\u00a0 What\u2019s eating at you, boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s troubled gaze fastened on him.\u00a0 There were more tears, unspent in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cIt happened on my watch.\u00a0 I\u2019m<\/em> responsible.\u201d\u00a0 His voice broke.\u00a0 The next time his son spoke it came out in a whisper.\u00a0 \u201cDear God, Pa, I\u2019m responsible.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

There was something here beside Joe being beaten and beyond the fact that his brother might have died.\u00a0 Ben had no idea what it was, but knew it would be important he find out.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, when you feel guilty, it\u2019s not your sin you hate but yourself, and when you hate yourself, you can\u2019t love anyone else.\u00a0 Your brother needs you. I<\/em> need you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t. You don\u2019t<\/em>….\u201d\u00a0 His son\u2019s head shook.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 Adam drew a shuddering breath.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Pa.\u00a0 Joe may never<\/em> be the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid the doctor tell you that, or is that what you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, the Doc told me,\u201d he scoffed.\u00a0 \u201cHe made it quite clear.\u201d<\/p>\n

This was something new, though in the state Adam was in it might have more to do with his interpretation of what the doctor said than anything else.<\/p>\n

The older man held his son\u2019s gaze.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, tell me what this is about.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sniffed.\u00a0 His throat was so tight when he spoke that the words barely came out.\u00a0 \u201cI…can\u2019t.\u00a0 At least, not…now.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to trust me, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 A tear spilled down his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cDo<\/em> you trust me, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a plea.<\/p>\n

Ben drew a breath.\u00a0 He let it out in a word, \u201cAlways.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son began to shake. The older man did not hesitate but went to him and took him in his arms.\u00a0 \u201cLet it out, son.\u00a0 Let it all out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Like a storm Adam broke.<\/p>\n

Ben held him until it passed.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

**This story is rated M for adult situations and themes including sexual assault, strong sexual innuendo , abusive behavior, violence and brutality.\u00a0 It contains mild adult language.\u00a0 WARNING: This story may not be appropriate for younger or more sensitive readers.**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PART TWO<\/p>\n

FIVE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Phoebe Bird Howath closed the lid on the suitcase she had packed and then walked to the window of her borrowed room and looked out.\u00a0 The wagon Ben Cartwright had hired to carry Little Joe home was parked in front of the saloon.\u00a0 Adam Cartwright crouched in its bed.\u00a0 The black-haired man was laying out blankets, creating a warm nest to cocoon his injured brother in for the ride back to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 It would not be an easy one.\u00a0 It was twenty miles or more to the spread and in a wagon, traveling slowly, with its driver doing everything he could to avoid jarring his precious cargo, the trip could easily take half a day.\u00a0 Sheriff Coffee had come and gone, asking questions and telling \u2013 well, ordering <\/em>really \u2013 the Cartwrights to leave everything to him.\u00a0 She’d noted the set jaws and the reluctant nods that warning was met with.\u00a0 Doc Martin was with Little Joe now, preparing his patient as best he could for the arduous journey.\u00a0 She\u2019d given Adam every spare blanket she could find plus an old feather ticking that was no longer in use to pad the wagon bed.\u00a0 She hoped that feathering Little Joe\u2019s nest would keep him from being in pain for the duration of the journey.<\/p>\n

Crossing back to her suitcase, Phoebe lifted the lid and looked at the contents inside.\u00a0 She\u2019d been surprised by how few \u2018decent\u2019 dresses she had.\u00a0 Though she\u2019d been at the Bucket for five years, she\u2019d worked the floor for less than half that time.\u00a0 At twenty-one, she had two years experience of pleasing men and for those two years near every dress she\u2019d bought or made was meant to do just that.\u00a0 Her looks were <\/em>her trade.\u00a0 With her pa dead, someone had to make money to support the family.\u00a0 Her eldest brother had left to do so by working in the mines.\u00a0 He\u2019d written once or twice and then the letters stopped.\u00a0 Five years later they had no idea if Castor was alive or dead.\u00a0 Her little brother and sister were much younger than she was and were still in school.<\/p>\n

They were just babies, really.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d tried working as a maid, cooking and cleaning for the folks in the fancy houses back where she came from.\u00a0 Every time there had been trouble.\u00a0 Sometimes it was jealous wives and other times, their lustful husbands.\u00a0 The last time she\u2019d worked for a single man who wouldn\u2019t take \u2018no\u2019 for an answer.\u00a0 She\u2019d run from him after he beat her, traveling as far and as fast as she could, and ended in Virginia City.\u00a0 Once in town she\u2019d answered an advertisement that said the Bucket of Blood was in need of \u2018hostesses\u2019.\u00a0 Soon after that her life as a saloon girl had begun.<\/p>\n

As she closed the suitcase, Phoebe heard a sound in the hall.\u00a0 The door was open and so she looked to see who it was.\u00a0 A second later Adam Cartwright appeared. He must have come in to check on his brother.<\/p>\n

She rose and went to meet him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s still with the Doc,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cI was actually looking for you.\u00a0 Do you need any help with your things?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s sweet of you to ask, Adam, but I can manage.\u00a0 I only have one suitcase.\u201d<\/p>\n

His eyes flicked to the case.\u00a0 It was a big one.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat looks like a man-size job,\u201d the handsome man with the black hair said, a smile touching his lips.<\/p>\n

She looked.\u00a0 In truth, it was.\u00a0 Returning the smile, she said, \u201cAll right.\u00a0 I surrender.\u00a0 You can carry it.\u201d\u00a0 As he headed into the room, Phoebe added, \u201cAre you really sure it is all right for me to go to the Ponderosa with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

He took the case in hand.\u00a0 \u201cI thought Pa told you it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead winced.\u00a0 \u201cYour father seems kind, but he is a little….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIntimidating?\u201d\u00a0 Adam snorted.\u00a0 \u201cTrust me, Pa\u2019s bark is definitely<\/em> worse than his bite.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m….\u00a0 I\u2019m grateful he agreed to let me go with you to help with Little Joe, but to tell the truth, I don\u2019t really understand why.\u00a0 Your pa doesn\u2019t know me.\u201d\u00a0 She hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cReally, none<\/em> of you know me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put the suitcase down.\u00a0 \u201cFor one thing Doc Martin vouched for you.\u00a0 He said the care you have given Joe is excellent.\u00a0 And for another,\u201d he paused, \u201cI don\u2019t think you want to be here.\u00a0 I think you\u2019d rather be anywhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n

She blinked back tears.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t mind.\u00a0 It\u2019s a job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not a very good liar.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the tears fell and slipped down her cheek.\u00a0 She struck it away.\u00a0 \u201cIs that a bad thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 That\u2019s a good<\/em> thing.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hesitated as if considering how appropriate his next words would be.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, I think this may be your chance to escape.\u00a0 You\u2019ve done so much for Joe.\u00a0 To thank you, we\u2019d like to help you get away and get a fresh start.\u201d<\/p>\n

She dipped her head.\u00a0 \u201cI…can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Another tear fell.\u00a0 \u201cThis is the only kind of place that will have me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 Make<\/em> me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t….\u00a0 I \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

A shout made her stop.\u00a0 She turned to the door even as a man\u2019s voice carried up the stair, loud and urgent.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? \u00a0Pa!\u00a0 Are you here?\u00a0 Pa?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The man in black released her and crossed to the door.\u00a0 \u201cUp here, Hoss!\u201d he called back.<\/p>\n

She had forgotten what a mountain of a man the middle Cartwright brother was.\u00a0 He made two of Little Joe.\u00a0 As Hoss entered the room and drew abreast his brother he shot her a puzzled look and then asked, \u201cWhere\u2019s Joe?\u00a0 Is he all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grimaced.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s out of danger,\u201d he replied.\u00a0 \u201cBut he\u2019s not \u2018all right\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I see him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc Martin\u2019s with him right now \u2013 and Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam picked up her suitcase again.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, why don\u2019t you come down with me to the wagon?\u00a0 You can help me finish getting it ready for Joe and I can fill you in while we work.\u00a0 By the time we\u2019re finished, the Doc should be done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss had to think about it.\u00a0 It was legendary in the town about the big man\u2019s ferocious love of his little brother.\u00a0 She could only imagine his worry and pain.\u00a0 Finally, he nodded. \u201cIf you say so, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam clapped his brother on the shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI say so,\u201d he answered with a pale grin.\u00a0 Then he turned to her.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, we\u2019ll be twenty minutes or so, I imagine.\u00a0 Will you be ready to leave by then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m ready now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at her.\u00a0 \u201cAre you coming with us, Miss Phoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhoebe is going to watch over Joe while we catch up on everything that we\u2019ve had to neglect at the Ponderosa over the last few days.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled again.\u00a0 \u201cDoc Martin thought it would be a good thing for little brother to have a woman\u2019s touch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI imagine he\u2019s right,\u201d the big man said as he tipped his hat.\u00a0 \u201cWelcome to the family, Miss Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

A little breath caught the tears Hoss\u2019 words brought to her eyes.<\/p>\n

If only.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Moving Joe was as agonizing as looking at what had been done to him.\u00a0 Ben had thought to carry his boy himself, but when he gathered Joe into his arms and tried to pick him up, his son cried out in pain.\u00a0 Finally, he had opted to place Joe on a blanket and use it as a kind of litter, which the four of them \u2013 him, Hoss, Adam, and Paul Martin \u2013 carried down the stairs and out to the wagon.\u00a0 As it was midday there were a good many onlookers who kept a solemn watch as they placed Joe in the wagon.\u00a0 Some of them he recognized.\u00a0 A few were enemies, more were friends, and still others, strangers, but all of them looked on with sympathy \u2013 or maybe, it was empathy.<\/p>\n

Most were parents.\u00a0 Most knew what it was like to have a hurting child.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Little Joe\u2019s all set,\u201d Hoss said as he came to rest beside him.<\/p>\n

Ben looked at his middle son.\u00a0 Hoss hadn\u2019t said much since he\u2019d seen Joe for the first time.\u00a0 He\u2019d watched the big man pass through disbelief to rage, and then to a quiet place where determination and doing what was necessary formed a bandage over grief and pain.\u00a0 It was Hoss\u2019s nature to be troubled by anything that was wounded.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t count how many times they\u2019d had cages at the ranch house or in the barn, filled with injured birds and animals that Hoss nursed back to health. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

This was his brother.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben moved to the side of the wagon and looked into the bed.\u00a0 It was a crisp day, not too cold but definitely a signal of winter\u2019s close arrival.\u00a0 He could tell it was going to be a bitter season.\u00a0 There would be snow in the mountains soon.\u00a0 Because of the wintry air they had dressed Joseph first in a shirt and pants, and then wound several robes about his thin frame.\u00a0 Phoebe had provided blankets both to go under and over his boy and Joe was nestled now like a babe in a cradle only waiting a blazing fire to rest beside.\u00a0 His youngest son was on the cusp of manhood.\u00a0 In some ways, Joe was already<\/em> a man.\u00a0 But looking at him now, swaddled like an infant, it seemed only a day before that he had been a little boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me to drive the wagon, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked, stirring him from his reverie.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take Buck, and Adam has Sport.\u00a0 Phoebe will ride along with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss removed his hat and scratched his head.\u00a0 \u201cShe sure is a pretty little thing.\u00a0 But Pa, do you think she\u2019s the right one to look out for Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

He had his own doubts.<\/p>\n

Adam had none.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am trusting your brother on this one.\u201d\u00a0 Ben paused.\u00a0 \u201cI sense…somehow, that Adam needs that right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man replaced his hat.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t never <\/em>seen Adam like this, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know and that troubles me.\u00a0 Joe has been beaten up before, and badly. There seems to be, I don\u2019t know, something more this time for your older brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomethin\u2019 Adam ain\u2019t tellin\u2019 us?\u201d<\/p>\n

He let out a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cI hope not.\u00a0 I hope your brother knows there is nothing that would alter my feelings for either him or Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Pa?\u00a0 You think it\u2019s about Joe and not Adam hisself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss.\u00a0 I just know that Adam is carrying a weight of guilt that could break him.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head. \u201cIt seems I have two<\/em> wounded sons.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me to talk to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben touched his son\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cNot now.\u00a0 Maybe when we get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Releasing Hoss, Ben turned his attention to his youngest again.\u00a0 Paul Martin had given Joe another dose of laudanum in an attempt to keep him under as they traveled over the Virginia City road.\u00a0 He was completely out at the moment, but the doctor had warned before he left to make his rounds that any substantial jolt could bring his son back to consciousness, and then the road home would prove an agony for his child.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll be good to get Joe home, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he agreed as he reached out to touch his son\u2019s curly brown head.\u00a0 \u201cYes, it will.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment Ben heard Adam\u2019s voice.\u00a0 His eldest had been in the saloon settling up with the proprietor and was just now stepping out of the establishment with Phoebe Howath on his arm.\u00a0 Adam was honoring the deal they had made with the redhead\u2019s boss by compensating him for the time she would be away.\u00a0 The older man pursed his lips and grew thoughtful.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know why but the doctor had backed Adam up, coming very close to insisting<\/em> that they have a woman take care of Joe.\u00a0 It was an odd request but he\u2019d honored it, even not knowing why it was made.<\/p>\n

As Adam approached, his son glanced in the back of the wagon.\u00a0 The look out of his eldest\u2019s eyes was indefinable.\u00a0 There were so many emotions roiling through their hazel depths at once that they were impossible to decipher.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Joe doing?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs comfortable as can be expected,\u201d the older man replied.\u00a0 Removing his hat, he said, \u201cMiss Howath.\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead smiled.\u00a0 \u201cMister Cartwright.\u00a0 Thank you again for letting me come.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will be most welcome at the Ponderosa,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, help the lady into her seat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d rather….\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe paused.\u00a0 \u201cIf I might, could I ride in the back with Little Joe?\u00a0 That way I would be there if he needed me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben considered it.\u00a0 \u201cIt won\u2019t be very comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all right.\u00a0 I\u2019m not worried about my own comfort, only his.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man nodded to Hoss and then watched as his son lifted the young lady into the wagon and helped her settle beside his brother before taking his own seat.\u00a0 Ben had a sense that Phoebe Howath\u2019s interest in his youngest son went deeper than a simple concern for someone who was hurt.\u00a0 He hoped he was not inviting trouble by bringing her along.\u00a0 Then again, if the redhead was<\/em> sweet on Joe, she would certainly attend him better than any other woman he could find!<\/p>\n

Adam mounted Sport and came alongside the wagon.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re ready to head home, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Home<\/em>.\u00a0 How he longed for it.<\/p>\n

In less than a minute Ben Cartwright was settled on Buck\u2019s back and the five of them began to long solemn ride to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright stood staring down at his little brother where he lay in the wagon bed.\u00a0 He reached out and touched Joe\u2019s hand and then turned and headed for the tree under which Phoebe Howath sat.\u00a0 They were midway through their journey and had stopped to let Joe rest.\u00a0 It had been a hard ride.\u00a0 Driving the wagon as he was, he\u2019d heard every gasp and groan his little brother made as the cart bumped over rocks and fell into the inevitable rut.\u00a0 He\u2019d done his darnedest to make sure it was the smoothest ride anyone had ever taken along the Virginia City road, but by the very nature of<\/em> the road, that had proven near impossible.<\/p>\n

Hoss tipped his hat at Phoebe and then sat down next to her.\u00a0 It had been just about all he could do to peel the pretty little gal from his brother\u2019s side.\u00a0 She sat now, with a blanket tossed around her shoulders, using a boulder as her chair back.\u00a0 The plate of food he had given her remained untouched on her lap as she stared off into the distance, her mind as far away as the house they headed for.<\/p>\n

\u201cPenny for your thoughts,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

Phoebe started.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u00a0 Oh.\u201d\u00a0 She laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWas I being a poor companion?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI weren\u2019t thinkin\u2019 about me, Miss Phoebe, but about you.\u00a0 You look like somethin\u2019s troublin\u2019 you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that I am used to being with men who are only interested in what I can provide for them<\/em>, not men who want to look after me.\u201d\u00a0 She looked chagrinned.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes it\u2019s hard to remember there are<\/em> men who want to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss glanced at his pa and Adam.\u00a0 Both were standing near the wagon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve had a hard time of it, haven\u2019t you, Miss Phoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust \u2018Phoebe\u2019, Hoss.\u00a0 Though I appreciate the courtesy of being thought of as a \u2018lady\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s something else I don\u2019t get too often.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t mind my asking, Miss \u2013 Phoebe, how come you ended up in a place like the Bucket of Blood?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cSimple.\u00a0 My family needed food.\u00a0 Oh, I tried a few other professions but…they didn\u2019t work out.\u00a0 Someone suggested I check out the Bucket of Blood and I guess I was pretty enough to land the job.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure<\/em> are pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n

That made her<\/em> smile.\u00a0 \u201cYou really think so?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve seen a pile of girls and you are definitely at the top of the heap.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed.\u00a0 \u201cAnd where have you seen this \u2018pile of girls\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man raised his eyebrows.\u00a0 \u201cMostly trailin\u2019 behind my little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe turned and looked at the wagon.\u00a0 The next sentence came out in a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe certainly <\/em>is good looking.\u201d<\/p>\n

So she was another<\/em> one.\u00a0 Whatever baby brother had, he was going to have to figure out how to bottle it and sell it.\u00a0 He could make a fortune!<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I wouldn\u2019t know much about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned back toward him.\u00a0 \u201cI want you to understand Hoss that that is not <\/em>why I came along, or why I…like Little Joe, in spite of what I am sure your father thinks.\u00a0 Maybe Adam too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe\u2019s a gentleman.\u00a0 I\u2019ve made it all too clear to him what I\u2019d<\/em> like and he\u2019s politely refused to take me up on it.\u00a0 Your brother\u2019s treated me like a lady every time.\u00a0 There have been other things too.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe let out a little sigh.\u00a0 \u201cThere are men…. Men who want what I do not <\/em>want to give them.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve wondered lately where Little Joe got that shiner he came home with, defending my \u2018honor\u2019 was probably the cause.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s my Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked directly at him.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re very close, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe and Joe?\u201d\u00a0 He held up two entwined fingers.\u00a0 \u201cLike this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis has to be very hard on you.\u00a0 What happened to Little Joe, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

He drew a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Phoebe, I weren\u2019t there to protect him and I shoulda been.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam feels the same way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s how it is with us.\u00a0 Me and Joe and Adam.\u00a0 We got us different mothers, but we all got the same pa and that\u2019s the tie that binds us.\u00a0 You won\u2019t find three brothers who\u2019s more close.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned.\u00a0 \u201cEven if we do scrap now and then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t be human if you didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Castor and I, that\u2019s my older brother, we were never close.\u00a0 He was always with pa, and since pa was a drunk, well….\u00a0 I\u2019m closer to my little brother and sister, but even there, there is a distance \u2013 as if we are afraid to love too much and then be hurt too<\/em> hard when one of us fails the other.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was silent a minute.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s a sorry way to be, Phoebe, if you don\u2019t mind my sayin\u2019 so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mind.\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u201d\u00a0 She handed him her plate and stood up.\u00a0 \u201cI think I will go see if your father needs me to take over.\u00a0 I imagine he and Adam have other things to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt sure was nice gettin\u2019 to know you better.\u00a0 But then, I guess we\u2019ll have plenty of time to get acquainted since you\u2019ll be stayin\u2019 with us for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, it probably won\u2019t be that long.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Little Joe will recover quickly,\u201d she said, though she sounded like she didn\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re right.\u00a0 I sure <\/em>do hate seein\u2019 him like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe stepped over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 Then she turned and headed for the wagon.<\/p>\n

Hoss watched her go.\u00a0 He noted that she halted a few feet away from his pa and Adam, as if she didn\u2019t want to interrupt them.<\/p>\n

The big man rose and tossed the remainder of his food aside.<\/p>\n

He did wonder just what<\/em> it was they was talkin\u2019 about.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I told you.\u00a0 I had too much to drink too quickly last night and on an empty stomach,\u201d Adam insisted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m all right.\u00a0 It was just…everything coming together at once when I was too tired to cope.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father pinned him with that look \u2013 the one that made lumber barons and mine owners squirm.\u00a0 \u201cYou didn\u2019t look or<\/em> sound all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it utterly impossible for you to believe that I had a moment when I lost control?\u00a0 I am human after all!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s completely possible to believe and completely acceptable, but it\u2019s not you<\/em>, son.\u201d\u00a0 The older man drew a breath.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I know<\/em> you are holding something back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 He said it, and then realized he had said it entirely too<\/em> quickly.\u00a0 Adam looked down and then back up at his father who was staring at him with a mixture of disapproval and skepticism.\u00a0 \u201cLook, Pa, I have told you everything I know <\/em>is true.\u00a0 What more is there I can do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me what you are thinking that may or may not be<\/em> true.\u201d<\/p>\n

He thought a moment and then shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

That took the older man aback.\u00a0 \u201cNo?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam considered his words carefully.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I want what is best for Little Joe and for the family.\u00a0 What I think or don\u2019t think is possible<\/em> will do no one any good unless it\u2019s proven to be true.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you the one who always tells us to stay away from idle speculation and conjecture, and to keep our mouths shut until we have the facts?\u201d<\/p>\n

He had him there.\u00a0 \u201cIn other circumstances, Adam.\u00a0 But this is your brother <\/em>\u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cI completely disagree.\u00a0 Speculation could hurt Joe worse than the blows he took.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father frowned.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, that\u2019s an odd thing to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

He knew he was waltzing close to disaster.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I asked you to trust my judgment and you said you would.\u00a0 Are you going back on that?\u201d<\/p>\n

He watched his father weigh the needs of one son against the other.\u00a0 \u201cAll right \u2013 for now. But understand this, if I think whatever you are holding close is important to your brother\u2019s recovery, I won\u2019t stand by and let it remain a secret.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was a hard word.\u00a0 Secret<\/em>.\u00a0 He thought of what he was doing more as a kindness \u2013 a service even, to and for<\/em> Joe.\u00a0 Adam chewed his lip for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019ll make you promise.\u00a0 If I find the facts, you will be the first to know.\u00a0 And even if I don\u2019t, if I think Joe would be better off because I told you, I\u2019ll do that too.\u00a0 No matter the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man\u2019s jaw was tight.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I know that.\u00a0 And in spite of everything, I hope you know that I do trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He half-smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 At that moment Adam noticed Phoebe lingering nearby, trying not to listen.\u00a0 He tilted his head in her direction.\u00a0 \u201cWe have company.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked.\u00a0 \u201cThe girl\u2019s a puzzlement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she\u2019s not.\u00a0 She\u2019s in love with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father\u2019s dark brows peaked.\u00a0 \u201cYou knew that and you still insisted on bringing her along?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Phoebe\u2019s different.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t belong at the Bucket of Blood.\u00a0 I just thought….\u00a0 Well, I thought that maybe we could help her <\/em>while she was helping Joe.\u00a0 She\u2019s had a hard life and very few chances to make it better.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man smiled.\u00a0 \u201cNow, that\u2019s<\/em> you!\u201d he said, poking his chest with the index finger of his other hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you still want me to ride ahead?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, someone needs to let Hop Sing know what is going on so Joe\u2019s room will be prepared.\u00a0 Oh, and put Miss Howath in the room downstairs off of the dining room.\u201d\u00a0 His father smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re brother is in bad shape, but there\u2019s no reason to invite trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s hope having a pretty girl around has Joe feeling up to mischief soon,\u201d Adam snorted.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, son.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright closed the door to Joseph\u2019s room quietly behind him.\u00a0 The day was almost done and, much as he hated to leave him, he had business to attend to before turning in.\u00a0 Life moved on no matter what.\u00a0 He\u2019d learned that long ago.\u00a0 His education had started with Elizabeth\u2019s death and then Inger\u2019s \u2013 his beautiful second wife who had taught him to live again and then died so soon.\u00a0 Then Marie had been taken.\u00a0 Still, in the course of life, mothers gave their lives bringing new ones into the world, men died fighting for what they believed.\u00a0 These were the things a man expected.\u00a0 The death of a child before their parent \u2013 especially one who had made it to maturity \u2013 was not.\u00a0 And though Joe was not in danger of dying, his son could have easily been killed.\u00a0 He had examined Joe\u2019s injuries again.\u00a0 The savagery of the assault still bothered him.\u00a0 If it was a robbery, though the man who committed it might have felt a need to bind him, there was no need for holding Joe down and nearly throttling him.<\/p>\n

Of course, Joe could have fought fiercely against his attacker.<\/p>\n

But then again, if he was tied….<\/p>\n

No.\u00a0 There was something here that didn\u2019t add up.\u00a0 It was almost as if the attack on Joseph was personal, as if it was fueled by a rage nearly past<\/em> understanding and a need he understood only to well \u2013 that of power over another man.\u00a0 It had been troubling him since he had seen Joe\u2019s injuries the first time. There was something familiar about them and, in a way, about Adam\u2019s reticence to speak about what he thought had happened.\u00a0 Ben wished he could pin it down, but there were so many other things crowding out concentration \u2013 the search for the man who had done this, his two sons\u2019 pain, the need to not overlook Hoss\u2019s, the untested and unknown young woman living in his house, and the daily needs of the Ponderosa, work on which had nearly ground to a halt with none of them there to supervise or issue orders.<\/p>\n

The older man finished descending the stairs.\u00a0 He went to the kitchen first and gave Hop Sing instructions regarding the next day, and then headed for the entryway.\u00a0 After pulling on his coat, Ben opened the heavy door and stepped outside.\u00a0 It was late in the day and the night was going to be an unusually cold one.\u00a0 Nevada weather, of course, was as unpredictable as the land itself.\u00a0 Some Novembers proved to be unnaturally warm and others, like this one was shaping up to be unseasonably cold.\u00a0 The setting sun, however, was spectacular.\u00a0 The entire sky was ablaze.<\/p>\n

Ben went to the wooden table on the porch and took a seat on its edge, permitting himself a moment to enjoy the view.\u00a0 As he did, he was drawn back to his days of sailing on the seas.\u00a0 He\u2019d told his boys some of the lore and knew now, due to scientific advances, that those old phrases often proved true.\u00a0 \u2018Red sky at morning, sailors take warning\u2019 came from the fact that there was a great deal of water vapor present in the atmosphere and since clouds come in from the west, when they were red, it meant rainy weather was expected.\u00a0 And then there was the opposite phrase.\u00a0 The one every seaman liked best.\u00a0 \u2018Red sky at night, sailor\u2019s delight\u2019. This meant the weather had improved and that sunlight was being reflected on the clouds, making the sky crimson.\u00a0 Sometimes he missed it, that life on the sea.\u00a0 There had been a camaraderie between men there the likes of which he had never known on land, since each one\u2019s life depended on all the others.\u00a0 Oh, there had been fistfights and brawls and everything you would expect from a group of men cooped up together for years without the softening touch of a woman, but for the most part, they coexisted in harmony.<\/p>\n

For the most part.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart began to race.\u00a0 He\u00a0 closed his eyes and fought for a memory he had almost buried. On one of the ships he had sailed when young \u2013 before he became First Mate \u2013\u00a0 there had been a man found half-dead below deck.\u00a0 An officer.\u00a0 He had been a lieutenant.\u00a0 Ben continued to reach into the past.\u00a0 His name?\u00a0 What<\/em> was his name?\u00a0 Bates?\u00a0 No, Slade.\u00a0 Thomas Slade.\u00a0 Thomas had been a handsome young buck with a head of curly golden-blond hair and bright blue eyes, who had advanced almost too<\/em> quickly through the ranks and looked out of place next to the older, harder, and more seasoned officers.\u00a0 An investigation had been launched into what happened and then mysteriously abandoned. The lieutenant had been some time in recovery and he had been one of the first Able Seamen assigned to take him his food and see to his needs, which included helping him to dress.\u00a0 He remembered the shock he felt the first time he saw Slade\u2019s injuries, which included angry bruises turning from red to black on his backside and legs \u2013<\/p>\n

And at the base of his neck.<\/p>\n

The lieutenant pulled through, but he was never the same.\u00a0 He became sullen and remote and developed an explosive temper.\u00a0 Shortly after their year long voyage ended Slade left the navy.\u00a0 Sometime later he heard the lieutenant had died, the victim of the bottle and his own misery which it seemed he could not overcome.<\/p>\n

On shipboard no one spoke of the incident again \u2013 at least not openly.\u00a0 But there were rumors.\u00a0 The word for what happened to Thomas changed from \u2018attack\u2019 to \u2018assault\u2019, and late one night, after one of the Ordinary Seamen was reported to have gone overboard and drowned, he heard a man declare that \u2018the bastard\u2019 deserved it for the unspeakable thing he had done to the young officer, robbing him of his manhood and ultimately, his life.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d the older man breathed, devastated. \u201cJoe….<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SIX<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was early morning and the sun was above the horizon.\u00a0 It\u2019s warm light streamed through the dining room window, creating\u00a0 a pale pink glow that extended to the great room where Adam Cartwright sat reading.\u00a0 No one else was up.\u00a0 Adam found the light soothing and the silence therapeutic, even if it did make it easier for his mind to stray to places it did not want to go.\u00a0 He\u2019d slept in fits the night before, waking at every footfall.\u00a0 His father had come in very late, near three in the morning. That was unusual for a man who prided himself on keeping a tight schedule and who had to be up early to see the day\u2019s work begin.\u00a0 He\u2019d opened his door a crack and watched the older man go to Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 His father stood before the door for several heartbeats and then opened it and passed inside.\u00a0 It was twenty minutes or more before he came out.\u00a0 When he did, the older man\u2019s shoulders were stooped, as though they bore a great weight.\u00a0 They all felt it, it was just that he<\/em> was the only one who knew the source and meaning of that weight.<\/p>\n

Or was he? \u00a0Did even he really <\/em>know?<\/p>\n

Adam slammed the book down on the table beside him.\u00a0 God!<\/em>\u00a0 If he only knew for sure one way or the other!<\/p>\n

Leaning on the arm of the chair, Adam pressed his lips to the back of his hand and looked up the stair, thinking of his baby brother lying up there only half-conscious.\u00a0 It had been over two days since the assault on Joe had happened.\u00a0 Roy Coffee had come out the day before to ask if he and Hoss would join the posse that was being formed.\u00a0 They\u2019d both been ready to accept \u2013 raring<\/em> to, really \u2013 until they saw their father\u2019s face.\u00a0 It chafed at him to let other men seek justice for his brother but, for now, he was needed here.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin had come around suppertime the night before to examine Joe and had pronounced him on the mend.\u00a0 The older man left a bottle of laudanum in Joe\u2019s room, instructing them to administer it only if he was in extreme need.\u00a0 The Doc admitted he was concerned that Joe might become addicted and said that little brother needed to begin to heal and sleep naturally. That meant Joe might be conscious today, and coherent.\u00a0 Adam sucked in air and rose to his feet.<\/p>\n

Talking to Joe about what happened was going to be the hardest thing he had ever <\/em>done in his life.<\/p>\n

Then again, maybe he would talk to his brother and Joe would say something that would put his mind at ease.\u00a0 It could<\/em> all be coincidence \u2013 the fact that Joe was bruised on his backside and legs.\u00a0 Adam halted.\u00a0 He scowled.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 It was unrealistic to think that.\u00a0 If Joe had simply been beaten and robbed, he might have been able to convince himself that nothing more had happened.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, there was the matter of his brother\u2019s missing clothes.<\/p>\n

No, he had to face it.\u00a0 The object of the robbery had not been what Joe carried, but Joe <\/em>himself.<\/p>\n

With a sigh, Adam headed for the kitchen.\u00a0 A few minutes before he had nosed the scent of coffee and that meant Hop Sing was up and in the midst of the preparations for breakfast.\u00a0 He could use a good strong cup of coffee.\u00a0 He had a lot to do today and all he needed was to fall asleep in the saddle.\u00a0 As Adam headed that way, a knock on the front door stopped him.\u00a0 For a heartbeat or two he stood there, torn between the coffee and being a good neighbor.\u00a0 His pa had trained him too well.\u00a0 The latter won out and he headed for the door.<\/p>\n

When he opened it he found Bexley Lanahan standing outside.\u00a0 \u201cKind of early for a visit isn\u2019t it, Bexley?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 At his gesture, the other man stepped into the room and removed his hat.\u00a0 \u201cI was on my way into town for the boss and saw the light, so I thought I\u2019d stop.\u00a0 This is the first opportunity I\u2019ve had to check on Joe since the robbery.\u201d\u00a0 The brown-haired man\u2019s eyes flicked to the stair.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hard to say.\u00a0 The Doc\u2019s kept him drugged since it happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo Joe hasn\u2019t told you anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe today.\u00a0 Doc Martin said to back off the medicine.\u201d<\/p>\n

The other man looked hopeful.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s gotta be a good sign, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t seen Bexley since that first night or quite this close before. Though he had fared better than Joe, the brown-haired man had been beaten as well.\u00a0 One side of Bexley\u2019s face was purple, with a few of the bruises heading for green.\u00a0 He might have imagined it, but it looked like the imprint of the side of a pistol had been left on his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Bexley snorted.\u00a0 \u201cHead hard as stone.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you <\/em>remembered anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

The other man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI haven\u2019t.\u00a0 I heard a noise and Joe and I dismounted.\u00a0 We split up and went searching, and then someone pistol-whipped me.\u00a0 That\u2019s it until I woke up and found Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had talked to Bexley several times.\u00a0 Every time the story was the same.<\/p>\n

Adam ran a hand along the back of his neck and rubbed it to ease the stress.\u00a0 \u201cI guess we won\u2019t know any more until we talk to Joe \u2013 if we do then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Doc said Joe was struck hard enough that he may never <\/em>remember what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley frowned.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019d be a shame, wouldn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Letting someone get by with what they did?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s jaw clenched.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cA shame?\u00a0 You might call it that.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother\u2019s friend looked hard at him.\u00a0 \u201cYou aren\u2019t going to do anything stupid, are you, Adam?\u00a0 Like go off half-cocked, looking for whoever did it on your own?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStupid?\u00a0 Me?\u00a0 Nah.\u00a0 Let\u2019s call it brash<\/em>, shall we?\u201d he replied.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Bexley, I would if I had the slightest lead, but I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley returned his hat to his head.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019ll be moving on.\u00a0 Mister Hansford sent me into town for supplies for that cattle drive we\u2019re heading out on in a few days.\u00a0 I\u2019d best be on my way.\u00a0 He was kindly about my being late the other day and I don\u2019t want to abuse his trust.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a good man, Bexley.\u00a0 Thank you for all you did for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

The other man shrugged it off.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what friends are for.\u201d\u00a0 He started to leave and then turned back.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Jude said he might stop by later.\u201d He winced.\u00a0 \u201cThat is, if you think your Pa would let him in.\u00a0 I know he ain\u2019t too fond of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s not unreasonable, just cautious.\u00a0 Jude will be welcome if he\u2019s come to check on Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell him that.\u00a0 It would be around suppertime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam watched the other man go and then closed the door.\u00a0 As he did, he heard a sound that drew his attention to the stair.<\/p>\n

His father was descending.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re up early,\u201d the older man said when he noticed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t sleep and came down to read.\u00a0 What about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard you come in last night,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cIt was pretty late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor an old man, you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

For a second he didn\u2019t know if his pa was serious or not.\u00a0 A slight smile told him he wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 \u201cYes, for an old<\/em> man.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father stared at him, hard.\u00a0 \u201cI was thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u00a0 About what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened, yes.\u00a0 And about you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s black brows winged toward his hairline.\u00a0 \u201cMe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you, and your brother, and the love between you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe and me, you mean?\u201d\u00a0 When his father nodded, he shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cIf \u2018love\u2019 means being constantly torn between wanting to knock someone\u2019s head into the wall, and worrying whether or not you might have done some damage when you did, that would be me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I\u2019m serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked down.\u00a0 \u201cI know you are, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cDo you remember that black dog you had when you were a little boy?\u00a0 The one I got you after we lost Inger.\u201d<\/p>\n

It had been a long time.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, Pa, I remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was his name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDog, I think,\u201d Adam laughed.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe Pal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you remember how he\u2019d shy away from you when you tried to pet him, and sometimes seem like he meant to bite?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat<\/em> I remember.\u00a0 I was terrified of him at times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut let anyone come near you, anything <\/em>threaten you and that dog was there barking, with his teeth snapping.\u00a0 He\u2019d have torn anyone apart who tried to harm you.\u201d\u00a0 The older man\u2019s laugh was gentle.\u00a0 \u201cIncluding me when I came at you with a switch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did <\/em>love him for that.\u201d\u00a0 Adam laughed and then sobered.\u00a0 \u201cI know what you\u2019re saying Pa.\u00a0 About me and Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you\u2019ve got to stop blaming yourself for what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pursed his lips.\u00a0 He drew in a breath and let it out.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know that I can do that, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, no matter what <\/em>happened to Joe, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Your brother is headstrong.\u00a0 If you hadn\u2019t given Joe permission to stay in town, he would have sneaked out and gone back to that poker game anyhow if he really wanted to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

It made sense to his head, but not to his heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cPut yourself in my boots, Pa.\u00a0 You left me in charge of not only the ranch, but of Joe.\u00a0 If I can handle a bronco, I should certainly be able to handle one \u2018headstrong\u2019 boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you don\u2019t love the bronco.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam fought the tears that were just under the surface.\u00a0 It was new to him, emotion he couldn\u2019t\u00a0 control.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d his father began, growing deadly earnest, \u201cthere\u2019s something we need to talk about before \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning, Pa.\u00a0 Adam!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s jovial voice came down the stair before he did.\u00a0 \u201cSeems like all of us are gonna get an early start to the mornin\u2019.\u00a0 Does Hop Sing know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in the kitchen already,\u201d Adam replied, still eying his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cDanged if he don\u2019t have the intuition of one of them there Swamis you see at the county fair!\u201d\u00a0 As his brother drew alongside them, the big man seemed to sense something was up.\u00a0 \u201cDid I come down at a bad time?\u201d<\/p>\n

Whatever his father had been about to say, apparently he did not want to do so in front of Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cNo, son.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go tell Hop Sing he can serve breakfast any time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill do, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss frowned as he turned toward him.\u00a0 \u201cSay, Adam, didn\u2019t you sleep at all?\u00a0 You look like something the cat dragged in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr maybe like something that black dog I had dragged in,\u201d he snorted, looking at his Pa.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s brows flew up along with his father\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cJake?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat mean-as-a-cuss black pup that nearly took my fingers off for throwin\u2019 a stick at you?\u00a0 How could I forget him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJake.\u00a0 Well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their pa made a small noise.\u00a0 \u201cHoss….\u00a0 Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDag blame it, I plumb forgot!\u201d his brother said with a snap of his fingers.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll tell him to fix breakfast and do it in a hurry, or I might just eat me a China man!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam watched his brother go and then turned back to find his father still studying him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the day\u2019s work is done, Adam.\u00a0 We need to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat more is there to talk about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlenty.\u201d\u00a0 The older man\u2019s eyes darted to the kitchen entryway.\u00a0 \u201cBut not here.\u00a0 Not now.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping before we do that your brother wakes up.\u00a0 If Joe remembers something that can answer the questions we have, then we will know which direction to go.\u00a0 Phoebe knows to have Hop Sing send one of the hands out to find you or me if he does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Not Hoss.\u00a0 Just you or me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father pinned him with his near-black eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I think you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Phoebe Howath stood by the window in Joe Cartwright\u2019s room, listening to the blustery wind \u2018wuther\u2019 \u2013 as her Yorkshire-born father would have put it \u2013 through the tall pines outside.\u00a0 It was mid-afternoon and Joe\u2019s brothers and father had headed out to their various jobs.\u00a0 She was alone in the house with Little Joe and Hop Sing.\u00a0 She had gone downstairs a short time before to fix a bit of food for herself, but the Chinese man would have none of it.\u00a0 Hop Sing had very kindly made tea for her and fixed her a lovely plate of finger sandwiches and, when she told him that she needed to get back to Little Joe, had handed her a piece of cherry pie and told her to take it upstairs with her.\u00a0 Phoebe smiled.<\/p>\n

She got the distinct impression Hop Sing thought she needed more meat on her bones.<\/p>\n

Little Joe was sleeping and she found she was restless, so she had left her chair at his bedside to wander around the room.\u00a0 Shamelessly, she\u2019d opened a few drawers and peeked into his linen press, noting the care with which he treated his every day clothes.\u00a0 Her only excuse was that she wanted to learn everything about him that she could so she would know how to make him love her.\u00a0 It was foolishness, of course.\u00a0 Even if Little Joe had<\/em> cared for her, since she had come to the Ponderosa and seen the sprawling ranch house with its fine furniture, china plates, silver, and more, she knew she would never fit in.<\/p>\n

She was the dirt men like the Cartwrights walked on.<\/p>\n

Phoebe stopped to look at her reflection in the mirror of Joe\u2019s dresser.\u00a0 Her mother would have approved of her today in her pale blue printed cotton dress, with her hair gathered into a simple bun at the nape of her neck.\u00a0 The last time she\u2019s seen her Ma was on the street in Virginia City when she had been bidding goodbye to one of her customers . Her mother had told her she was\u00a0 a \u2018strumpet\u2019 and that she was ashamed of her.\u00a0 There were other words: hooker, trollop, trull.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It was all the same.\u00a0 They all meant a woman who sold herself.<\/p>\n

A woman who was used by men, sometimes for pleasure, but more often for the power it gave them.<\/p>\n

Her father had another term for what she was.\u00a0 A \u2018rose with a thorn\u2019, he called the bawdy women he sometimes brought home with him, rubbing their painted beauty in her mother\u2019s face.\u00a0 It was a good name.\u00a0 Each day she continued to provide the services she did that thorn pierced her heart a little more, draining her of youth and vitality.\u00a0 She saw it happening every time she looked in the mirror.\u00a0 She had started to harden herself against the pain, and she knew that was the most dangerous thing of all.<\/p>\n

Phoebe was just about to move over to the dresser when a small sound drew her attention to the bed.\u00a0 Little Joe hadn\u2019t moved, but it must have been him.\u00a0 Crossing back to the bed, she sat down beside him and picked up his hand. While holding it, Phoebe leaned in and brushed the curls back from his forehead and called his name.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe?\u00a0 Can you hear me? It\u2019s Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

At first there was no response, then \u2013 wonder of wonders! \u2013 Little Joe moaned and his slender form shifted on the bed.<\/p>\n

Excitement filled her.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe?\u00a0 If you can hear me, answer me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe moaned again.\u00a0 He shifted as if uncomfortable and then opened his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cMa?\u201d he asked feebly.<\/p>\n

Suddenly Phoebe was at a loss.\u00a0 Was<\/em> there a current Mrs. Cartwright?\u00a0 If there was, where was she?\u00a0 She had no idea.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Little Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s Phoebe.\u201d\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I have…water?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

It was on the bedside table.\u00a0 She poured a glass full and then, slipping her arm behind him and lifting him up, held the glass to his lips and helped him drink.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust take a little,\u201d she warned.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve been without it for quite a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

When he nodded, Phoebe pulled the glass away and placed it on the table.\u00a0 Then she stood and went to the washstand where she wet a cloth.\u00a0 Returning, she wiped his face with it first and then used a clean end of it to wet his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded slowly.\u00a0 \u201cWhere…am I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHome.\u201d<\/p>\n

His eyes roamed the shadowy interior.\u00a0 \u201cMy room?\u00a0 Why are…you…in my<\/em> room?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe cradled his hand in both of hers.\u00a0 \u201cI came to take care of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d\u00a0 He grew agitated.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s…Pa?\u00a0 What have you…done to Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour father\u2019s fine, Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s just out working.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s breathing grew rapid.\u00a0 He struggled to get up.\u00a0 \u201cHoss!\u00a0 Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe hesitated and then, careful to avoid the bruising, took his face in her hands and made him look at her. \u201cJoe!\u00a0 Everything is fine.\u00a0 Listen to me.\u00a0 Look<\/em> at me.\u00a0 It\u2019s Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

The handsome man blinked several times as if working off the lingering effects of the drug he had been given.\u00a0 He quieted as he recognized her.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

She grinned.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Little Joe, it\u2019s Phoebe!\u201d\u00a0 Fighting back tears, she added, \u201cDon\u2019t frighten\u00a0 me like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

His dark expressive eyebrows formed a \u2018V\u2019 as he frowned.\u00a0 \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019m<\/em> sorry.\u00a0 It\u2019s all right.\u201d\u00a0 Looking down at the hand she held, Phoebe suddenly felt like a school girl with a crush.\u00a0 Releasing it, she asked him, \u201cNow, tell me one more time.\u00a0 Who am I?\u201d<\/p>\n

A slow smile spread across Little Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 It was a pale imitation of the winning smile she knew, but it was the most wonderful thing she had seen in days.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe prettiest girl west of the Mississippi?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe smiled too.\u00a0 \u201cWelcome back,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n

Little Joe\u2019s smile faded as he shifted his body in an attempt to sit up.\u00a0 Wincing, he asked, \u201cWhere\u2019s the wagon train that ran me over?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

The handsome man closed his eyes as he settled back against the pillows.\u00a0 \u201cI…remember riding out of town with Beck.\u00a0 He heard something.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s voice grew in strength as he continued.\u00a0 \u201cI got off my horse to see if I could find who it was, and \u2013 \u201d\u00a0 He reached for the back of his head and winced when he found the lump he was looking for.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone hit me!\u201d\u00a0 Turning his gaze on her, Little Joe asked, \u201cHow long have I been out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost two days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo days?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were beaten and robbed.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe paused.\u00a0 \u201cYou really don\u2019t remember anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe closed his eyes and concentrated for perhaps ten heartbeats.\u00a0 \u201cNope.\u00a0 Nothing,\u201d he said when he opened them at last.<\/p>\n

She knew that would disappoint his brothers and father.\u00a0 They were so<\/em> hoping Little Joe could tell them something that would lead to the capture of the man who had done this to him.<\/p>\n

Joe shifted his body again. A moment later he reached behind and pressed a hand to his lower back.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019d they do?\u201d he asked, his eyes going wide.\u00a0 \u201cWhack me like a dirty rug?\u201d\u00a0 As he returned his hand to the blanket in front of him, he noticed the rope burns on his wrists.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s green eyes flicked from the red marks to her.\u00a0 \u201cWhoever it was tied me up too?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cMust have been one mean cuss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that goes without saying,\u201d a gruff male voice spoke from just without the room.<\/p>\n

Phoebe started guiltily and jumped to her feet.\u00a0 \u201cMister Cartwright. I was just going to send someone to find you.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d be home so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright held her gaze for a moment and then turned to his son.\u00a0 \u201cWe did an honest day\u2019s work, which is more than I can say for you, young man,\u201d he said with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is this?\u00a0 Laying up here on your backside all day long when there\u2019s chores to be done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all for not laying on my backside any longer than I have to, Pa,\u201d Joe answered, his voice finding its full strength.\u00a0 \u201cMy rump hurts like Hell.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe stopped.\u00a0 His cheeks went beet red.\u00a0 \u201cPardon me, Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry about me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard worse.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe stood and walked over to Little Joe\u2019s father.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll leave you two alone now.\u201d\u00a0 At the door she turned back with a thought.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAre you hungry, Little Joe?\u00a0 I could bring you something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am, I am,\u201d he said with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow I know <\/em>you\u2019re better,\u201d his father said, the relief he felt plain in the older man\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about some soup?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 \u201cI think Hop Sing has a pot ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSounds great, Phoebe.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before she left the room, the redhead was bold enough to touch Ben Cartwright\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cThe worst is over,\u201d she breathed.<\/p>\n

The older man tore his eyes away from his son to look at her.\u00a0 There was an odd look in his dark eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so, Phoebe.\u00a0 I certainly hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright watched the girl go and then sat on the bed beside his son.\u00a0 Reaching out, he brushed a tumble of sodden brown curls off Joe\u2019s forehead and then cupped his son\u2019s bruised cheek with his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you, Joseph?\u00a0 Really?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all right, Pa,\u201d Joe answered, frowning as he shifted under the covers.\u00a0 \u201cI got a headache pounding harder than a man working a sledgehammer and I hurt all over, but that\u2019s nothing I haven\u2019t had before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph….\u201d<\/p>\n

His son grimaced.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, maybe it hurts more<\/em> than anything I had before, but I can stand it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about inside?<\/em>\u00a0 Does anything feel \u2018wrong\u2019?\u00a0 As bad as the attack was there might be internal injuries.\u00a0 Doc Martin said to ask you as soon as we could.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked puzzled.\u00a0 Finally, he said, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Joe?\u00a0 Is<\/em> something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s not inside, Pa.\u00a0 But I sure do feel saddle sore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018And you have no idea why?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.<\/p>\n

Ben did not hesitate.\u00a0 \u201cApparently whoever robbed you tied you up first and pinned you to the ground.\u00a0 They probably leaned a knee on your backside when they did.\u00a0 There are bruises on your shoulders and back, as well as lower down.\u201d<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man watched his son process the information, looking for any sign that might indicate Joe was hedging and that his lack of memory was a false front.<\/p>\n

He found none.<\/p>\n

His youngest\u2019s face screwed up in confusion.\u00a0 \u201cHow come I don\u2019t remember what happened, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc Martin said you took quite a blow to the head.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that unusual.\u00a0 Most men don\u2019t remember the moment of injury.\u201d\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do<\/em> you remember about what happened before you were struck?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe leaned his head back and closed his eyes.\u00a0 Ben could tell his son was tiring.\u00a0 \u201cNot much.\u00a0 One minute I was walking, looking for Beck, and the next I was….\u00a0 Well, here<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Could they be <\/em>so fortunate?<\/p>\n

His son opened one eye and then closed it again, slowly.\u00a0 \u201cIt sure is good to be home, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben reached out to touch his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s good to have<\/em> you home, Joseph, as well as on the road to recovery.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe yawned mightily.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay, Pa.\u00a0 Really. Don\u2019t worry…about…me….\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man remained still as his son fell asleep.\u00a0 For some time he sat there looking at him, debating what to do.\u00a0 He had told Adam he wanted to talk to him later because he meant to bring everything out in the open.\u00a0 But now, if Joe remembered nothing<\/em>, he wondered if that was wise.\u00a0 Still, at the moment Adam was bearing the burden of what \u2018might\u2019 have happened to his brother alone and that was more than enough to break a man.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright sighed.\u00a0 For the sake of one son, he wanted to remain quiet, but for the sake of the other, he felt compelled to speak.<\/p>\n

At least if he told Adam his suspicions, his eldest would no longer be alone.<\/p>\n

As he rose, the silver-haired man pulled the covers up to his youngest\u2019s chin and tucked him in.\u00a0 Then he headed downstairs.\u00a0 Supper would be ready soon.<\/p>\n

Once it was over, he and Adam needed to talk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam dropped his spoon on the table and sat back.\u00a0 He noted Hoss\u2019s bowl was empty, but it was the only one.\u00a0 His and his pa\u2019s were still half-full.\u00a0 They\u2019d invited Phoebe to eat with them and she had been at the table for a bit, but then she\u2019d excused herself to take a bowl up to Joe.\u00a0 Knowing his brother would need something simple, Hop Sing had made a wonderful pot of chicken noodle soup.\u00a0 The redhead hoped she could persuade his brother to eat again.\u00a0 Joe\u2019d had a little broth so far but that was all, and he couldn\u2019t really afford to lose much weight.<\/p>\n

He barely had enough to start with.<\/p>\n

As the Chinese man came in to clear the table, Hoss put his napkin down and sighed. \u00a0\u201cThat there was the most wonderful soup a man ever ate, Hop Sing!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing grinned from ear to ear.\u00a0 \u201cPlenty more for Mister Hoss when he\u2019s ready for second supper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSecond supper?\u201d\u00a0 The big man frowned.\u00a0 Then his eyes lit up.\u00a0 \u201cOh, you mean for a midnight snack?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNight time, morning, only one minute apart,\u201d Hop Sing replied.\u00a0 As he came to him, the Chinese man scowled.\u00a0 \u201cYou no like your soup, Mister Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam patted his stomach.\u00a0 \u201cI like it very much.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t have much of an appetite.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father put his spoon down and pushed his own half-empty bowl away.\u00a0 \u201cMe either, Hop Sing.\u00a0 But don\u2019t worry, I imagine we\u2019ll all<\/em> be down for that midnight snack.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot good.\u00a0 Cartwright men have no schedule.\u00a0 Men with no schedule eat whenever they want and get fat!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss took hold of his middle and shook it. \u201cIs that<\/em> what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a schedule, Hop Sing?\u201d Adam asked, amused.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing have to have schedule, else he have no time to complain about Cartwrights not eating!\u201d\u00a0 With that, the Chinese man headed for the kitchen taking the dishes with him and leaving behind a long line of untranslatable Asian expletives.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked from him to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you two?\u00a0 Joe\u2019s out of danger and that was some mighty <\/em>fine soup!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0 \u201cI imagine Pa is too.\u00a0 Neither one of us slept all that well last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t that too bad,\u201d Hoss said, rising.\u00a0 \u201cI slept like a log.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA log with a saw running through it,\u201d the man in black complained.\u00a0 \u201cYou should have heard yourself snoring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t snore!\u201d Hoss protested.\u00a0 Then he added with a sheepish grin.\u00a0 \u201cLeastwise I ain\u2019t never heard<\/em> myself snore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake my word for it.\u00a0 It was you or a sawmill,\u201d Adam groused.<\/p>\n

Their father stood and tossed his napkin on the table.\u00a0 \u201cWell, while you two boys spar verbally, I\u2019m going to attend to the horses.\u201d\u00a0 He stopped a few feet from the table and turned back.\u00a0 \u201cSay, Adam, don\u2019t you need to check Sport\u2019s leg?\u201d<\/p>\n

That was his cue.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be out shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n

As their father left the ranch house, Hoss asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with Sport?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was limping a bit when I rode in tonight.\u00a0 Maybe he has a rock under his shoe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me to take a look?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rose as well.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I\u2019ll do it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it\u2019s anything bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right then.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss patted his clothes and dust flew into the air.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna wash this trail dust off of me and then go sit with Joe.\u00a0 You come get me if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s wise,\u201d Adam said, rising as well.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe is pushing herself too hard. See if you can persuade her to get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat gal sure is devoted to our Little Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss stretched and yawned.\u00a0 \u201cIf\u2019n you don\u2019t need me, I\u2019ll just fall right into bed after I leave baby brother\u2019s room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 You do that.\u00a0 See you tomorrow, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

As his brother headed up the stairs Adam turned toward the door. His father was waiting for him in the stable, ready to talk.<\/p>\n

But was he?<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEVEN<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jude Miller waited beneath a tall pine tree by the side of the road into Virginia City.\u00a0 Behind him stood Pointer\u2019s Arch.\u00a0 He opened his watch and checked the time and then quickly closed it again.\u00a0 Bexley was supposed to have met him here at sundown.<\/p>\n

He was late.<\/p>\n

The blond man removed his hat, ran a hand through his hair, and then replaced it.\u00a0 He had stopped at the Ponderosa on the way back to town to check on Little Joe\u2019s condition.\u00a0 Everyone but the cook and the woman from the saloon were gone.\u00a0 Phoebe Howath met him at the door and told him Joe was sleeping.\u00a0 They\u2019d talked briefly about how he was doing and that had been that.<\/p>\n

Jude sighed and looked down the road toward Virginia City.\u00a0 Joe, it seemed, didn\u2019t remember anything of the attack, which seemed strange.<\/p>\n

How could a man forget <\/em>such a thing?<\/p>\n

The blond man glanced at the towering structure behind him.\u00a0 If there had<\/em> been any signs of what happened to Joe here at the Arch, they\u2019d been trampled underfoot by the traffic on the road and by the frightened teenage couple he had just scared out of the dark heart of it. Jude took the toe of his boot and turned over a clod of dirt.\u00a0 Then he kicked it.\u00a0 If, eventually, Joe didn\u2019t remember what had happened, then, in spite of what the old adage said the crime would <\/em>go unpunished. Even if Little Joe did<\/em> remember say, one, two, or three months down the road, the fever for revenge would have broken by then.\u00a0 There\u2019d be an investigation, nothing would be found, and the law would give up and that would be it.<\/p>\n

After all, the Arch was the perfect place for such an act to be committed.\u00a0 Once inside its black belly a man disappeared, almost as if he didn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n

The sound of a horse\u2019s hooves caught Jude\u2019s attention.\u00a0 Drawing his gun, he stepped into the shadows and waited.\u00a0 It only took a moment to realize that it was Bexley Lanahan come at last.<\/p>\n

Holstering his weapon, the thin blond mad stepped into the light.\u00a0 \u201cBeck.\u00a0 Hey!\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley\u2019s horse shied and whinnied.\u00a0 It bucked a few times and then calmed down.\u00a0 \u201cSheesh, Jude,\u201d the brown-haired man said as he dismounted, \u201cwhat\u2019re you trying to do, get me killed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a few wouldn\u2019t be so sorry if I did,\u201d he replied with a sincere sneer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure <\/em>am glad you\u2019re my friend, Jude.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d do with you as an enemy.\u201d\u00a0 Bexley quickly came to his side.\u00a0 He looked around.\u00a0 \u201cHow come you wanted to meet here?\u00a0 Did you search the area again?\u201d<\/p>\n

The blond man nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHard to believe,\u201d his friend said.\u00a0 \u201cI wonder if anyone will ever find out what happened to Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if Joe remembers,\u201d Jude replied.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I stopped at the ranch, I talked to Phoebe.\u00a0 She told me that Joe remembers being hit on the head and that\u2019s about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes the Doc think it\u2019s permanent?\u00a0 The memory loss, I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one knows.\u00a0 From what you said happened, there\u2019s nothing to<\/em> remember, right?\u00a0 Joe was out the whole time?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley stared at him, his brow wrinkled.\u00a0 \u201cJude, is this all you brought me out here for?\u00a0 To go over this one more time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to make sure the Cartwrights didn\u2019t miss anything, that\u2019s all.\u201d\u00a0 Jude nodded in the direction of the town.\u00a0 \u201cBuy you a drink for your trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bexley nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s more like it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the other man mounted Jude did the same, putting his foot in the stirrup and slinging one leg up and over his horse\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019ll check on Joe again tomorrow and maybe I can talk to him,\u201d the blond man said as he slapped the reins against the animal\u2019s flesh.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like to hear what Joe has to say for myself.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter all, all any of us are after is the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Adam reached the stable he found his father sitting on a bale of hay, waiting for him.\u00a0 The older man began to rise, but Adam waved him down and took a seat beside him instead.\u00a0 They sat for a moment or two in silence and then he broke it.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what is this about?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father leaned forward and linked his hands between his knees.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s about your brother, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 The older man turned his face toward him.\u00a0 \u201cI want you to tell me what you think <\/em>happened to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been over this before.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know anything for certain other than what I\u2019ve already told you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hear you, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 His father straightened up.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not asking what you know for certain<\/em>.\u00a0 I\u2019m asking you to tell me what you think<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The black-haired man rose and walked over to one of the stall walls and leaned on the top rail.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, stop trying to protect me.\u201d<\/p>\n

That<\/em> surprised him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cProtect you?\u201d he asked, turning back.\u00a0 \u201cWhat makes you think I am protecting you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His father rose and came to his side.\u00a0 He placed a hand on his son\u2019s shoulder and looked directly into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cSon, this is a burden too big for one man to bear.\u00a0 You need to share it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about,\u201d Adam countered, his tone sharp.\u00a0 Breaking away, he added, \u201cI\u2019m going back to the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hadn\u2019t taken five steps when his father said softly, \u201cAdam, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

The black-haired man halted, his back still to his father; his lithe form rigid.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cKnow what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you think happened to Joe, or at least what you fear<\/em> happened to him.\u201d\u00a0 His father\u2019s voice shook as he concluded.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s…. It\u2019s my fear too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam spun back, stunned.\u00a0 \u201cHow?\u00a0 How <\/em>could you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man approached him.\u00a0 \u201cI wasn\u2019t born yesterday, son.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen a lot of the world as it is, and much of it is brutal.\u00a0 It will break a man or kill him before it gives him a chance or a helping hand.\u00a0 First, there were your brother\u2019s injuries.\u201d\u00a0 The older man faltered, as if seeing them again and imagining their cause.\u00a0 \u201cThen, there was you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u00a0 I said nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t have to.\u201d\u00a0 His father lifted his hand.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s written in your face, Adam.\u00a0 In the way you hold your body.\u00a0 And in the tears you shed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI was careful.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t say anything about what I suspected<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you were.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t anything you said, son.\u00a0 It was what you didn\u2019t <\/em>say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood Lord, Pa!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want you to have to carry this.\u00a0 There\u2019s no proof.<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s bad enough I have to have the thoughts I have, but you<\/em> \u2013 about your son?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He could see the older man struggling to control his emotions.\u00a0 \u201cMy feelings for my son will never change, no matter what happens to him,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean that, Pa.\u00a0 You have to believe me, I didn\u2019t mean that!<\/em>\u00a0 I just mean that now…every time you look at Joe, there will be \u2013 the Doc put it best \u2013 a stain on your soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike the one on yours?\u00a0 Or do you mean to say that darkness taints your brother now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam scowled.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you suggesting?\u00a0 That I think differently of Joe somehow because of what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 He almost shouted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not putting this right.\u00a0 I wanted to spare you having to think….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBadly of Joe?\u201d\u00a0 His father took a step toward him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, don\u2019t you see what you\u2019re doing?\u00a0 Your brother hasn\u2019t changed.\u00a0 He\u2019s still the same.\u201d\u00a0 The older man paused before going on.\u00a0 \u201cYou thought you were remaining quiet for him, for me, but it was really<\/em> for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u00a0 No.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father closed the gap between them.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 All that matters is your brother.\u00a0 We have to decide what is best for him.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDecide?\u00a0 What is there to <\/em>decide?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I was an Able Seaman,\u201d his father began, \u201can incident like this happened on the ship on which I served.\u00a0 It…destroyed the young man who was assaulted. \u00a0He<\/em> knew what had happened to him.\u00a0 Your brother doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 At least not yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked, his voice trembling with fear for his baby brother. \u201cHow <\/em>did it destroy<\/em> him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe man\u2019s hatred of himself and his fear of what men would think drove him to drink.\u00a0 He turned away from everyone and everything and finally, he drank enough he died.\u201d\u00a0 His father drew a deep breath, held it, and let it go.\u00a0 \u201cSo you and I, Adam, we have a difficult <\/em>choice to make.\u00a0 Do we tell<\/em> Joe what we know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we don\u2019t know<\/em>, Pa,\u201d he protested.<\/p>\n

He had never seen his father look so sad, not even when Marie died.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t we, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam struggled against a blackness that rose in his soul, seeking to claim him.\u00a0 One thing their father had drilled into them was to have faith in mankind.\u00a0 Even though men were flawed and sinful \u2013 lazy, greedy, prideful and envious, filled with wrath and self-invested \u2013 there was still good in every one<\/em> of them.\u00a0 If you looked hard enough, you would find it.<\/p>\n

His father had been wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, Pa?\u00a0 Why<\/em> would we tell Joe if he doesn\u2019t remember?\u00a0 It will…crush him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I know that\u2019s what you think, but there is nothing worse than active ignorance.\u00a0 What if Joe remembers in a week or even two, and then finds out that we didn\u2019t <\/em>tell him what we knew?\u00a0 What could he think, but that we were ashamed?\u201d\u00a0 The older man\u2019s voice cracked with the strain.\u00a0 \u201cAshamed of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why hurt him if it isn\u2019t necessary?\u00a0 Joe may never<\/em> remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam.\u00a0 I really don\u2019t know the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa.\u00a0 Thanks for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father went to the stable door and looked toward the house.\u00a0 \u201cWe don\u2019t have to make a decision tonight.\u00a0 Even if<\/em> we did decide to tell Joe what we suspect, your brother isn\u2019t strong enough yet to hear it.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let it go for a while.\u00a0 Watch him.\u00a0 See if….\u00a0 Well, if his behavior changes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe we should talk to Doc Martin.\u00a0 He seemed to know a lot about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man swung around to look at him.\u00a0 \u201cPaul knows?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s the one who told me,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u00a0 Well, if anyone has to know, I would pick Paul.\u00a0 He\u2019s completely trustworthy.\u201d\u00a0 His father hesitated and then finished.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Providential Paul was the one to look after Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProvidential?<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 Adam was astonished.\u00a0 \u201cHow can Providence have any<\/em> part in this?\u201d he asked as he moved to his father\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man looked at him.\u00a0 The determined look in his eyes would have been enough to move a mountain.\u00a0 \u201cEverything, Adam, everything<\/em> happens for a reason and is part of the Almighty\u2019s plan.\u201d\u00a0 His voice fell to a whisper.\u00a0 \u201cEven this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam remained silent for a moment.\u00a0 When he spoke, he heard the bitterness in his voice. \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can believe in a God who could allow this, much less have it as part of His plan<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t blaspheme, boy,\u201d his father warned.<\/p>\n

Adam pushed past him.\u00a0 He halted in the yard where the brisk November wind struck him, tossing his hair and stinging his cheeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you can\u2019t blaspheme if you don\u2019t believe, and right now, well, I\u2019m not sure I do<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was happening right before his eyes.\u00a0 Their family was being torn apart.<\/p>\n

Ben watched his eldest boy mount his horse and ride off into the dark.\u00a0 Returning to the stable, he took a seat on the hay bale and remained there for some time, composing himself.\u00a0 Then, he went back to the house.\u00a0 After consulting with Hop Sing about the needs for the coming day, he looked in on Joe \u2013 only to find both his son and his caregiver fast asleep. Leaving them be, Ben went back to the living room and kindled a fire and then took a seat in the big blue chair beside it.<\/p>\n

It was late and a chill had gripped the house nearly as cold as the one that gripped his heart.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know which son he was more worried about, Joe or Adam.\u00a0 If you had asked him three days before, he would have said there was nothing his eldest boy couldn\u2019t handle. Adam was the strong one, the one on which everyone else could depend \u2013 on which he<\/em> depended.\u00a0 He realized now, since that rock-steady foundation was showing cracks, just how<\/em> much he did. \u00a0Adam was not only doubting himself, he was doubting God and that tore at a man\u2019s soul.\u00a0 Of course, he\u2019d done it once too \u2013 after Elizabeth died \u2013 and it was Adam who bore the scars of his rage against the Divine.\u00a0 He\u2019d found out then, as had many men before him, that anger at God was misplaced.\u00a0 It was really anger against self.\u00a0 It had taken Inger to show him that.<\/p>\n

He wondered who would show Adam.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man sat a moment longer and then went to the cupboard and removed a dusty bottle of brandy.\u00a0 He kept it for special occasions, though they were usually happy ones like the birth of a child.\u00a0 It was almost as old as he was.\u00a0 Taking the bottle and a glass back to the blue chair, he poured a stiff drink and then sat and sipped it slowly, thinking of Joseph.\u00a0 It went against his instincts to keep something as monumental as this from his son.\u00a0 Lies and secrets were a cancer to the soul, eating away what was good and leaving only destruction in their wake.\u00a0 And yet, he had to consider what this would do to the boy.\u00a0 Joe was so <\/em>young.\u00a0 He was still learning what it was to be<\/em> a man.\u00a0 As a father, he had been working so hard to teach him, to show his youngest the right path.\u00a0 Joseph was a handful with his impulsive nature and, like his mother, felt things too deeply.\u00a0 So deeply, in fact, it left him…<\/p>\n

Vulnerable.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s knuckles went white on the stem of the brandy glass.<\/p>\n

And someone had taken advantage of him.<\/p>\n

The older man drew several deep calming breaths before tossing the remainder of the shot of brandy down his throat.\u00a0 Whoever it was, he wanted them dead<\/em>, but \u2013 dead or alive \u2013 would make little difference to Joe\u2019s survival.<\/p>\n

He still had to choose.<\/p>\n

Ben began to pour another drink and then thought better of it.\u00a0 He rose instead and replaced the bottle in the cupboard so the temptation was out of sight and mind.\u00a0 He\u2019d need a clear head for what was to come.\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019d decided to wait until Paul Martin returned to make up his mind about Joseph.\u00a0 He\u2019d talk to the doctor and see if the medical man confirmed his suspicions as Adam said he would.\u00a0 He\u2019d ask Paul as well if there was any sort of timeframe for the return of Joseph\u2019s memory, or if the doctor thought it would ever<\/em> return.\u00a0 As for the rest, he knew what signs to watch for.\u00a0 He\u2019d been a witness to poor Thomas Slade\u2019s decline \u2013 Slade, who had once been a vital, active, and dynamic man, who had slowly disintegrated into a confused, angry, and lost soul.\u00a0 After that, he would be forced to make the decision whether to tell Joe or not.<\/p>\n

It would be the hardest he would ever make.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was late evening and Adam Cartwright was tired.\u00a0 He knew he had been pushing himself, but he found it hard to sit with his father and Hoss in the great room in the evenings, knowing what Pa was thinking and what Hoss didn\u2019t <\/em>know.\u00a0 It had been almost a week and so far the older man had agreed with him and decided not to tell Joe anything \u2013 at least for the time being.\u00a0 And since they weren\u2019t going to tell Joe, they felt that the two of them were more than enough to keep such a…secret.\u00a0 Hoss was going to take it hard anyhow.\u00a0 So hard, he wondered what it would do to the big man who, unlike him, always saw the whiskey glass half full.<\/p>\n

So, instead of remaining with the family, he had taken the coward\u2019s way out and chosen to spend most of his days and nights on the range or in the open field, handling the tasks his father and brother had no time for.\u00a0 Each time he made such a request his father would give him that \u2018look\u2019, the one that said he knew what he was doing, but he let him go. This time he had been away for almost three days.\u00a0 During that time he had kept so busy that it was only late at night, after the day ended and he laid his head down to sleep, that he couldn\u2019t escape his thoughts.\u00a0 Sleep eluded him and the demons of all that had occurred and its possible consequences plagued him.<\/p>\n

At times he thought he might go mad.<\/p>\n

Tonight, before heading to the Ponderosa, he\u2019d spent some time in town, first checking on the progress of Roy\u2019s investigation into the attack on Joe \u2013 which was nil \u2013 and then at one of the myriad saloons that dotted Virginia City\u2019s main street.\u00a0 He\u2019d probably had one too many.\u00a0 He was stumbling tired and ready for bed and intended to stable his horse, walk into the house, and go straight up the staircase to sleep.<\/p>\n

If there was<\/em> a God, He<\/em> had other plans.<\/p>\n

After bedding down Sport in the stable he made a beeline for the door, but was stopped by a small voice that spoke from the shadows close by it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam halted with his hand on the latch.\u00a0 He closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

It was Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere you been Adam?\u00a0 I ain\u2019t seen much of you lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man in black drew a breath and turned toward his brother, who was barely visible. Joe was sitting on the porch in a chair beside the wooden table, bundled against the cold.\u00a0 It was true.\u00a0 He had been avoiding Joe, not because of what had been done to<\/em> his little brother, but because he was afraid he would say or do something that might act as a trigger and bring it all back. He couldn\u2019t do that to Joe.<\/p>\n

Adam halted at the edge of the porch.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing outside?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s only so much a man can take of staring at the same four walls, \u201d Joe said, his voice quiet.\u00a0 \u201cDoc Martin was here.\u00a0 He told Pa it was all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u00a0 \u2018All right\u2019.\u00a0 But is it wise?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a pause.\u00a0 \u201cWhat would you care?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned.\u00a0 He moved closer to his brother so he could see him in the light that fell from the window over their father\u2019s desk.\u00a0 Joe was looking away, toward the horizon and not at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u00a0 Why would you say such a thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother didn\u2019t move.\u00a0 \u201cSeems to me like you\u2019ve been steering clear of me, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 There was a touch of anger in his baby brother\u2019s voice.\u00a0 \u201cI haven\u2019t seen you for a week or more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been busy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2019s been busy too, but he\u2019s seen me every day.\u00a0 So\u2019s Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 And he was.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you mad at me, Adam?\u00a0 For staying at the Bucket longer than I told you I would?\u201d<\/p>\n

He closed his eyes.\u00a0 God!<\/em>\u00a0 This was hard.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, no.\u00a0 I\u2019m not mad at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother was quiet for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cThen what is it, Adam?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you want to be around me?\u201d\u00a0 Joe paused.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong<\/em> with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s heart sank.\u00a0 \u201cNothing, Joe.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing wrong with you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was still pale and wan.\u00a0 Though he\u2019d recovered some, Doc Martin said he wouldn\u2019t come anything close to normal for a good many weeks.\u00a0 He looked like a waif, sitting there, all bundled up like a little lost boy.<\/p>\n

Adam turned away.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s me, Joe, not you.\u00a0 There\u2019s something wrong with me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

A silence fell between them. Into it bled the sounds of the night \u2013 cattle lowing, horses whinnying, hawks wheeling overhead.<\/p>\n

Joe speaking.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not your fault, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He glanced at him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to me.\u00a0 It\u2019s not your fault.\u00a0 If I\u2019d listened to you, it would never have <\/em>happened.\u00a0 It\u2019s my<\/em> fault, not yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not <\/em>your fault, Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s the fault of whoever…attacked you.\u201d\u00a0 In his mind\u2019s eye he continued to see it \u2013 his brother trussed, laying helpless on the ground.\u00a0 A man, some monster of a <\/em>man, assaulting him \u2013 using<\/em> Joe while he was unconscious for his own sick pleasure.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam….\u201d<\/p>\n

It was there again, the pit \u2013 the emptiness.\u00a0 Pushing it down, denying it victory, he answered as calmly as he could.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I could remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

The sentence almost broke him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe,\u201d he said softly, \u201cmaybe it\u2019s better you don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

He could see Joe\u2019s face in the light.\u00a0 His brother was frowning, trying to recall what Adam hoped he would never <\/em>recall.<\/p>\n

\u201cI keep trying, big brother.\u00a0 I think about it \u2013 think about it hard<\/em> \u2013 but there\u2019s just nothing there.\u00a0 Still….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStill?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s…something.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked at him, his eyes wide.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s something I need<\/em> to remember.\u00a0 I know<\/em> it.\u201d\u00a0 A tremble ran the length of his brother\u2019s thin frame.\u00a0 Joe drew an audible breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0 \u201cJude came by today,\u201d he said, changing the subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d he asked, grateful that he had.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did he want?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shifted in the chair.\u00a0 \u201cJust to see how I was.\u00a0 He feels bad he stayed in town and didn\u2019t travel with Beck and me.\u00a0 He thinks he should have done something to prevent what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAs human beings we do poorly at many things, but we are very good<\/em> at guilt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you feel guilty, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

The question hung in the air between them.\u00a0 He thought about denying it, but then decided there was no point. \u201cYes, Joe. I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man in black ran a hand across his face and turned toward his brother.\u00a0 \u201cPa left me in charge.\u00a0 I was responsible for you.\u00a0 I made a bad choice and that choice nearly got you killed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not a kid, Adam \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 Yes, you are!\u201d<\/em> he snapped.\u00a0 \u201cIn spite of what you think, Joe, you\u2019re still <\/em>a kid and I was responsible for you and I let you down.\u00a0 I failed Pa.\u00a0 I failed the family and I failed<\/em> you.\u00a0 This…thing that happened, it\u2019s my fault, Joe.\u00a0 My<\/em> fault!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think you done gone and said just about enough?\u201d<\/p>\n

He went rigid.\u00a0 One never realized how much they sounded like an idiot until they knew someone else <\/em>was listening.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long have you been there, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood in the light cast by the open door.\u00a0 The look on his face said more than he did.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLong enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Hoss,\u201d Joe began.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it ain\u2019t, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 The big man came to stand between them.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve had just about enough of you, big brother.\u00a0 Whatever burr you got under your saddle, you need to pull it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got no right, Hoss \u2013\u201c Adam snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got every<\/em> right.\u00a0 You just leave Joe alone.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 eyes shone in the light, fiery as the flame that created it.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t been a part of this family for near-on a week now, and when you do come home, it still ain\u2019t<\/em> to be a part of it.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired of you thinking only of yourself, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThinking of myself?\u201d\u00a0 He was astonished.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not thinking of myself.\u00a0 I\u2019m \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure as shootin\u2019 are!\u00a0 Ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 else you\u2019ve thought of since we brought Joe home.\u00a0 Now, I know you feel responsible, and maybe in a way you are, but it ain\u2019t right to treat Joe \u2013 and Pa like you\u2019re treatin\u2019 them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam scowled.\u00a0 \u201cHow am I treating them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike they got a disease.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t much better with me.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss waited until he met his angry gaze.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in all that\u2019s holy is wrong with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam froze.\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cIn all that\u2019s \u2018holy\u2019,\u201d he scoffed.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if I told you I don\u2019t think there is anything that\u2019s \u2018holy\u2019?\u00a0 What if I told you that I think you live and you work and you sweat and you bleed and then you die and there\u2019s nothing more?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you don\u2019t believe that,\u201d his brother said softly.<\/p>\n

Adam glanced at Joe and then back to his middle brother, his jaw set in defiance.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stormed off into the dark.\u00a0 Hoss watched him go and then looked at his younger brother.\u00a0 Joe hadn\u2019t sparred with Adam like he had, but it looked like the argument between them had taken as much out of his baby brother as it had out of him.<\/p>\n

Taking a seat on the wooden table next to Joe he said, \u201cSorry, little brother.\u00a0 I guess I lost my temper.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a second Joe said nothing.\u00a0 Then, \u201cWhat do you think\u2019s wrong with Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t rightly know.\u00a0 But you know how Adam is, everything gets bottled up inside and he\u2019s too dag-blamed \u2018civilized\u2019 to let it out like you and I do by blowin\u2019 off some steam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u00a0 had his chin on his hand and was staring off in the direction their elder brother had gone.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think Adam likes me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Joe, don\u2019t you go sayin\u2019 such a darned stupid thing!\u00a0 Sure <\/em>he does.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you ever think otherwise.\u00a0 Whatever\u2019s eatin\u2019 at Adam ain\u2019t got nothin\u2019 to do with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head shook.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re wrong, Hoss.\u00a0 It does.\u201d<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t see his little brother\u2019s expression, but the pain was there in his voice.\u00a0 \u201cYou go ahead then, and tell me how it does.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother turned toward him.\u00a0 There were unspent tears in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t.\u00a0 I just know it does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Joe, don\u2019t you go upsetting yourself.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t good for you.\u00a0 You need to rest and \u2013 \u201d\u00a0 He stopped.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Hoss?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you hear it, Joe?\u00a0 Someone\u2019s comin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 The big man crossed to the door and called out.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa, we got company!\u201d<\/p>\n

His father appeared in the door momentarily.\u00a0 \u201cWho is it, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t rightly know yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man crossed to where Joe was.\u00a0 \u201cI was just about to come out for you, son.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been up long enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s time you got to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Pa, do I have too?\u201d\u00a0 His little brother whined.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been in that gosh-darned bed so long I think I might go crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

A slender female form appeared at their father\u2019s side.\u00a0 \u201cDoctor\u2019s orders,\u201d Phoebe said.<\/p>\n

It had been nice having a woman around the house.\u00a0 It sort of softened everything up.\u00a0 They\u2019d thought Phoebe might be leaving them soon since Joe was getting better, but Doc Martin told Pa that morning that he thought it was good thing she stay a while longer.\u00a0 The Doc said she had a \u2018good\u2019 effect on Joe.\u00a0 Hoss smiled as he watched the redhead cross over to his little brother and hold out her hand.\u00a0 Phoebe definitely had an effect <\/em>on Joe.\u00a0 His little brother pulled himself together and the woeful look he\u2019d had on his face vanished to be replaced with more than a shadow of his usual smile.\u00a0 Joe accepted her hand and let her help him to his feet, and then leaned on the redhead as they slowly made their way into the house.<\/p>\n

Just inside the door Joe stopped and looked back.\u00a0 \u201cCan I sit on the settee for a while, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man mulled it over.\u00a0 \u201cFor a bit, Joe, but not too long.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother grinned.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Phoebe and Joe entered the house the sound he had heard defined itself.\u00a0 Two riders appeared at the edge of the yard.<\/p>\n

One of them was Roy Coffee.<\/p>\n

Hoss saw his father glance in the direction Joe had gone and then back to Roy.\u00a0 The silver-haired man drew a deep breath, as if steeling himself, and stepped off the porch.\u00a0 As he did, he turned back and said, \u201cHoss, see that your brother gets settled comfortably inside and then come back out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took him about three minutes. When the big man emerged from the house he found his father deep in a discussion with Roy and the other rider, who was one of his deputies.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d the sheriff said, acknowledging him.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy,\u201d he replied, doing the same.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s this all about, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy wants to talk to your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d\u00a0 When his father nodded, he asked, \u201cWhat about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s been another attack, Hoss, like Joe\u2019s,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

His father\u2019s face was grim.\u00a0 \u201cThe young man is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDead?\u201d\u00a0 The pain he felt was selfish, even though it was felt for the family of the other man.\u00a0 What if they<\/em> had lost Joe?\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019d he die, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was something in the way the sheriff answered.\u00a0 He was holding something back.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t rightly say, Hoss, not \u2018til I speak with the family.\u00a0 But I can<\/em> tell you he was tied up and then beaten and robbed, and his clothes were missing just like your brother\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think it\u2019s the same man that done it?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sheriff nodded.\u00a0 \u201cNow, Ben, about what I asked?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss glanced at his father.\u00a0 The older man wasn\u2019t looking at the lawman, he was staring at the house, a distant look in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt won\u2019t do you any good to talk to Joe,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cThe boy doesn\u2019t remember anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Ben, you let me decide that.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father pivoted on his heel.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u201d he snapped. \u201cI won\u2019t give my permission.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you listen to me, this here is an official investigation.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t let me talk to Joe, you\u2019ll be obstructing the law.\u00a0 I can throw you in jail for that.\u201d\u00a0 Roy Coffee paused.\u00a0 His voice grew gentle.\u00a0 \u201cBen, I ain\u2019t gonna upset the boy, I just want to ask him a few questions.\u00a0 If this here is the same man then we got us a repeater, and who knows what other man\u2019s son is gonna die because you wouldn\u2019t let me talk to yours!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cRoy\u2019s right.\u00a0 We got Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s safe.\u00a0 This man\u2019s family, well, they lost the one they loved.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want that to happen to anyone else, do we?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father remained silent for several heartbeats.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d he sighed.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want that.\u201d\u00a0 Turning to the lawman the older man said, \u201cAll right, but only for a few minutes, and if Joe gets too upset I will put a stop to it.\u00a0 Do you understand that, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sheriff Coffee held up his hands in surrender.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s all I\u2019m askin\u2019, Ben.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to hurt the boy any more than he\u2019s already been hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss heard something in the lawman\u2019s voice.\u00a0 When he turned to his pa, he saw it echoed in the older man\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

As he followed the two men into the house he couldn\u2019t help but wonder what it was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

EIGHT<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben found his youngest situated on the settee.\u00a0 Phoebe had propped Joe\u2019s feet up and tucked several blankets around him and then positioned herself in the chair beside him.\u00a0 She really was a remarkable young lady and quite devoted to Joe.\u00a0 It was easy for him to see that she was in love with his son, though Joe seemed oblivious to it.\u00a0 Of course, at the moment, his son\u2019s energies were concentrated on recovery, so it was just as well.\u00a0 One of these days, though, there could be a sudden change and he would have to keep a watch out for that as well.\u00a0 While he had nothing against Phoebe, it would be hard to tell if his son\u2019s feelings for her \u2013 should Joe came to have them \u2013 were real, or if it was a deep gratitude instead of love.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d he said<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked.\u00a0 When he noted the lawman following in his wake, he added, \u201cHey, Sheriff Roy.\u00a0 What brings you out here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy would like to ask you a few questions, Joseph.\u00a0 About the attack.\u201d\u00a0 Ben frowned. Joe looked exhausted.\u00a0 \u201cAre you up to it?\u00a0 If not, we can postpone \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are far from \u2018fine\u2019, son.\u00a0 But if you feel up to it….\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shifted and sat up straighter.\u00a0 He looked at Roy.\u00a0 \u201cAsk away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I know you say you don\u2019t remember anything about what happened the other night, but I\u2019d like to go over it all again, if you\u2019ve got the strength.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u00a0 Does this have to do with you trying to catch whoever robbed me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben beat the other man to it.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, there\u2019s been another attack.\u00a0 Just like yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

The color drained from his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone…else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA young man, about your age.\u201d\u00a0 He and Roy had agreed they would not tell Joe the young man had died, at least not right away.\u00a0 \u201cHe was beaten and robbed just the same as you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re thinkin\u2019, Joe, that we got ourselves a repeat offender, so\u2019s it\u2019s even more important now that you try to remember what happened to you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The sheriff paused.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son had been staring.\u00a0 He started at his name.\u00a0 \u201cHow is he?\u00a0 The man who got attacked?\u201d Joe asked quietly.<\/p>\n

Roy pursed his lips.\u00a0 \u201cI cain\u2019t rightly say.\u00a0 His family don\u2019t know about it yet.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you know when I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe frowned but seemed to accept that.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, tell me what you<\/em> remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben noticed, as Joe began to speak, that Phoebe\u2019s hand went to his son\u2019s arm and rested on it, lending him her strength.\u00a0 \u201cAdam and me, we went into town after work.\u00a0 I wanted to stay for a poker game and, well, I talked Adam into leaving me behind.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a very good run.\u00a0 I ran out of money about midnight and since Beck was heading out, we decided to ride home together.\u201d\u00a0 His son paused.\u00a0 \u201cI think Beck was looking out for me.\u00a0 I\u2019d had a little too much to drink,\u201d he added with chagrin.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou two took off at the same time?\u00a0 Was anyone else around?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t see anyone close, but it was dark.\u00a0 There were some people out front of the hotel, and wagons coming and going \u2013 just a normal night, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Roy said.\u00a0 \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were about three miles outside of town when Beck heard something.\u00a0 You know, by Pointer\u2019s Arch?\u00a0 He told me about it and we decided to stop in case it was someone laying in wait.\u201d\u00a0 His son fell momentarily silent.\u00a0 Of course, there had <\/em>been someone laying in wait.\u00a0 \u201cWe split up, Beck going one way and me going the other.\u00a0 I lost sight of him just about the time I got to the Arch….\u201d\u00a0 The boy\u2019s voice trailed off and he shuddered.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, if you need to stop….\u201d Ben suggested.<\/p>\n

His youngest\u2019s eyes sought his.\u00a0 They said that he needed<\/em> to go on.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m all right, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said you split up?\u201d the sheriff prompted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI came in from the back where it\u2019s the darkest.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t see much, not even with the moon.\u00a0 You know how it is, Roy, when you get under the rocks?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sheriff nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAnd that\u2019s when it happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s jaw tightened.\u00a0 He nodded too.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, this is where<\/em> it is important for you to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grew agitated.\u00a0 \u201cBut, I don\u2019t!\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember seeing<\/em> anything.<\/em>\u00a0 I\u2019ve closed my eyes and tried to put myself back there so many times, but there\u2019s nothing!\u201d\u00a0 His son\u2019s gaze flew to him.\u00a0 \u201cPa, why<\/em> is there nothing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, I think we better put a stop to this,\u201d the silver-haired man said.<\/p>\n

The gaze that met his was not the gaze of a lawman, but of a man who was also a father.\u00a0 \u201cI know how hard this is, Ben.\u00a0 Just a couple more questions?\u00a0 All right?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at Joe.\u00a0 His son was pale and shaking.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u00a0 I want to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa, I\u2019m sure<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Joe,\u201d Roy said. \u201cNow listen to me.\u00a0 I want you to stop tryin\u2019 to remember what you seen.<\/em>\u00a0 Think about the things you didn\u2019t<\/em> see \u2013 did you smell anything?\u00a0 Was there something you heard?\u201d\u00a0 He paused. \u201cDid the man who attacked you say <\/em>anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe went deathly still.\u00a0 All of the color drained from his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d\u00a0 Ben sat on the table before the settee near his boy.\u00a0 \u201cYou never mentioned this before.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s green eyes met his.\u00a0 He swallowed.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t remember it before,\u201d he said, his voice trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know this is going to be hard son,\u201d Roy said, trying to mask his excitement.\u00a0 \u201cBut can you tell me what the man said?\u201d<\/p>\n

The room was quiet.\u00a0 Hoss, who had remained by the door listening, moved to stand near his brother.\u00a0 Phoebe\u2019s fingers were white on Joe\u2019s sleeve.<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked him who he was,\u201d Joe said, his voice barely more than a whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he say?\u00a0 Did he tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head \u2018no\u2019.\u00a0 \u201cHe said, \u2018Who do you think?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart was racing.\u00a0 Joe was recalling something he had not recalled before.\u00a0 Did that mean his son would soon recall everything?<\/em><\/p>\n

Roy nodded.\u00a0 \u201cDid you ask him anything else, boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 I asked him what he wanted and he told me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that, Joe?\u201d his father asked softly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did he say he wanted?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son lifted his head and met his concerned stare.\u00a0 Pain and fear and something else were mingled in Joseph\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t understand it then, Pa.\u00a0 I still don\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 Joe hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cHe said he wanted me<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t go home that night. He\u2019d walked a short ways into the trees after crossing swords with Hoss and then returned to the stable, intending to claim his horse and take off again, thinking maybe he would go back to the Arch like he had a dozen times before and see if he could figure anything out.\u00a0 While he was saddling his horse he\u2019d heard several men talking and then it grew quiet. As the front door closed, he took Sport out and rode off into the night.\u00a0 In the end he didn\u2019t go to the Arch.\u00a0 Instead something drew him to the prime piece of land with the ramshackle cottage on it that Joe loved and had coerced their father into giving him. Joe\u2019d brought Hoss and him up here shortly afterward, busting with pride, and told them all about his plans and dreams for a wife and a home.<\/p>\n

It was funny how his little brother was always thinking about something that he, as the eldest, seldom thought about \u2013 having his own family.\u00a0 Sometimes he thought it had to do with losing his own <\/em>mother at such a young age. There had been the loss of Elizabeth\u2019s loving presence and a boy\u2019s hurt that kept him from trusting such a love again, but also, it was just him and his pa and that seemed enough.<\/p>\n

It still did, only now it was just him.<\/p>\n

Adam sat on the stoop of the small broken-down cottage. The boards were uneven and some of them rotted. If Joe did come to this place with a wife, it was going to take a lot of work to make it livable. But from where he was sitting the view was spectacular and he completely understood what had drawn his brother to it. It was peaceful too. That was why, in the end, he had come here \u2013 to find peace.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t, of course.\u00a0 How could he?<\/p>\n

He\u2019d brought his own turmoil with him.<\/p>\n

The man in black closed his eyes and lowered his head into his hands. This was not like him, losing his way, living on the raw edge of emotion and turning away from the ones he loved. A part of it was a genuine fear of being around Joe and letting something slip, of planting a suggestion in his brother\u2019s mind that, once considered, could never be dismissed. But that wasn\u2019t the most of it. It went deeper.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d lost his faith in life<\/em> as well as in God.<\/p>\n

Adam rose and began to pace. The line from William Shakespeare\u2019s Macbeth kept haunting him. The Bard had his main character \u2013 a man wracked with guilt and poisoned by shame \u2013 say of life that it was \u2018a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.\u2019<\/p>\n

Nothing.<\/p>\n

Was it all really<\/em> \u2018nothing?\u2019 Did a man live all of his days just so he could be beaten and whipped and kicked and taken down? Did he have hopes \u2013 Adam turned to look at the structure behind him \u2013 hopes like his little brother had for a future and yet, they were \u2018nothing\u2019? Was it foolish to love, to hope, to believe, when the world didn\u2019t care, when all it wanted to do was to strike a man into the ground like a sledgehammer dropped on the head of a post, pounding, pounding, pounding <\/em>until he was beaten and buried?<\/p>\n

The vision of his brother, trussed, brutalized,\u00a0more<\/em>, flashed before his eyes.<\/p>\n

God!<\/em>\u00a0 It was a physical pain, what had happened to Joe.<\/p>\n

What was happening to him<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Since he had been a little boy, his pa had taken him to church. Even when his father grew hard after his mother\u2019s death and was angry with God, still they had gone to hear the Lord\u2019s Word. His father had never doubted \u2013 didn\u2019t doubt now<\/em> after what had happened to Joe.\u00a0 How, he wondered,\u00a0<\/em>how?<\/em>\u00a0How could a man believe in a Providential God that would allow such a thing to happen to a\u00a0boy<\/em>\u00a0\u2013 a thing that might change his life forever or, worse yet, change\u00a0him<\/em>. And why?\u00a0<\/em>Could<\/em>\u00a0there be a reason? Could there be any\u00a0good<\/em>\u00a0in this?<\/p>\n

And if God allowed it, then could there be any good in God?<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam sighed and then he laughed bitterly. It was like the foundation of a house, his faith in God. He didn\u2019t think much about it. Who did? You laid a foundation and then covered it up with all the things \u2013 the boards and bricks, the plaster and paint \u2013 that made it a house and a home. He didn\u2019t inspect it and work to improve it every day either like the Good Book said he should. As an architect he should have known, should have remembered.<\/p>\n

Without a firm foundation everything is lost.<\/p>\n

Now<\/em>, what was he supposed to do?<\/p>\n

Adam returned to the cabin. He opened the door and went in. For a few minutes he walked around and then settled on the stone hearth. Through an open window he could see the sky and the myriad stars sparkling there. A thought struck him as he did, that though the sky was bleak, the stars were brilliant. It reminded him of a story Inger had told him when he\u2019d been a little boy when, for a brief moment, the beautiful fair-haired woman had been his second mother. Inger\u2019s smile was like those stars, dazzling and bright. Her death, like the bleak black sky.<\/p>\n

One night, when his pa had been away with the other men on the wagon train, he’d awakened her with screams in the night. Inger had come to him and held him and told him there was nothing to fear from the dark; that it was only masking the light and the light had not gone away. Then, in her lilting Swedish voice, she told him a story. There was a woman who was imprisoned. Where she was it was silent and dark and without light, so black was all she could see. Every day she prayed that she would be freed from it and she grew angry with God when He did not answer her prayers. She shouted at Him and cursed Him saying He was cruel, and that somehow, someday she\u00a0would<\/em>\u00a0be free of the four walls that held her captive whether He willed it or not. Then, one day, the woman heard a sound. It was small and quiet. She listened and followed it and found the walls were only in her mind. It had been the song of a bird.<\/p>\n

And she had always been outside.<\/p>\n

Adam looked up with tears in his eyes at the hope his little brother had and was humbled. Shifting, he fell to his knees.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod,\u201d he said as the tears fell, \u201cGod,\u00a0please\u00a0<\/em>help me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss awakened halfway through the night and was unable to return to sleep.\u00a0 He\u2019d wandered the house for a while, made a snack of three-quarters of a chicken that Hop Sing had on ice, and then headed for the stable to be with the animals he loved.\u00a0 There was something about God\u2019s living creatures that soothed him even as he sought to soothe them.\u00a0 He\u2019d loved Nature and everything about her for as long as he could remember and when he was troubled, he often went out to visit with her where he could breathe and think.<\/p>\n

There was something wrong.\u00a0 Sometimes it seemed to him that everyone else knew what it was, but then he\u2019d look and listen to Joe and he didn\u2019t think his little brother was keeping any secrets.<\/p>\n

He weren\u2019t so sure about Adam and his Pa.<\/p>\n

The thing was, he loved both men and he trusted them, so if they was keeping a secret there was bound to be a sure-fire, solid-as-a-rock reason for it.\u00a0 He\u2019d sensed tonight while standing by the door, listening to Roy Coffee question Little Joe, that whatever it was his pa and Adam were doing, they was doing it to protect Joe.\u00a0 He saw it in his pa\u2019s eyes when the older man looked at his youngest son, and in Adam\u2019s when he looked away.<\/p>\n

When he opened the door to the stable, he\u2019d found Adam\u2019s horse gone.\u00a0 He realized his brother must have come back either before Roy and his deputy arrived or after, and headed out alone.\u00a0 Adam was a thinking man and most of the time he had to do it by himself.\u00a0 Joe was always joshing, sometimes with a downright mean edge, about Adam being a Northerner, meaning big brother never showed his emotions and was hard as the boulders the waves dashed themselves against.\u00a0 Hoss remembered Adam as he grew up, after his own mother had died.\u00a0 His older brother had suffered an awful lot of loss for a little feller and it seemed to him that he had made a choice, in so many words, to reach up and turn off the tap of emotion in order to survive.<\/p>\n

If the truth were known \u2013 and Joe\u2019d never believe it \u2013 he thought Adam\u2019s feelings ran deeper than either of theirs.\u00a0 It was the reason big brother had to deny them.<\/p>\n

A man just couldn\u2019t live on the edge all the time.<\/p>\n

After he\u2019d found Adam gone, Hoss returned to the house.\u00a0 Sitting in one of the chairs by the fire he\u2019d picked up one of Adam\u2019s books and started to read, only to be stopped when his father appeared at the head of the stairs dressed for the day.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t sleep neither.\u00a0 His pa said he was going to take a ride around the ranch and would be back for breakfast, which was about two hours from now.<\/p>\n

Hoss picked up the slim volume of Adam\u2019s he\u2019d been looking at and read a few more lines. Then he put it down.\u00a0 Reading one of his older brother\u2019s books always gave him a headache.\u00a0 Adam had a mind that liked big ideas and deep thoughts \u2013 so<\/em> deep a man could puzzle over them for days and find nary a conclusion.\u00a0 He liked books, but he enjoyed the ones with exciting stories, filled with adventure and tales of the land he loved.\u00a0 Putting Adam\u2019s volume down Hoss rose and headed for the stair.\u00a0 Come to think of it, there was some of those books in his Pa\u2019s room.\u00a0 Since Pa was out, it wouldn\u2019t disturb him if he borrowed one.<\/p>\n

At the top of the stairs Hoss halted.\u00a0 Phoebe was standing in the hall near Joe\u2019s door with her hand on the knob.\u00a0 For some reason she hesitated to enter.\u00a0 She turned a stricken face toward him when she heard his footsteps.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Miss Phoebe?\u201d he asked as he hurried to her side.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pressed his ear to the door.<\/p>\n

Joe was crying.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want to go in, even though I did want<\/em> to,\u201d she breathed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been around men enough\u00a0 that I know they don\u2019t want anyone to see them cry.\u00a0 I…I didn\u2019t want to shame Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss straightened up.\u00a0 \u201cThat was right thoughtful of you,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take care of him.\u00a0 You go back to your room and try to get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe\u2019s lucky, you know, to have a brother like you.\u00a0 To have the family he has.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was something odd in her voice, but he didn\u2019t have time for it now.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Miss Phoebe.\u00a0 Now, I gotta get to my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Turning away from her, Hoss put his hand to the knob and slowly pushed the door in.\u00a0 The room was dark.\u00a0 The curtains had been drawn so even the light of the stars was put out.\u00a0 \u201cJoe,\u201d he called softly as he entered the nest of shadows.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe?\u201d\u00a0 When he got no answer, the big man moved into the room and crossed to the bed expecting to find his brother sitting on the side of it, or maybe curled up in a ball on its top.<\/p>\n

Joe was under the covers.\u00a0 He was asleep.<\/p>\n

Joe was crying in<\/em> his sleep.<\/p>\n

As gently as he could the big man sat down on the bed beside his little brother.\u00a0 It near broke his heart to hear Joe whimper like a child.\u00a0 This has been what their pa was afraid of when he let Roy Coffee question Joe \u2013 that it would bring it all back.\u00a0 Still, even though he knew Joe was weak from the attack, and even though his little brother cried about the easiest of any man he knew, there was something in this cry that was like a church bell rung in a town where the pastor knew no one would come to services.<\/p>\n

It was hollow and heartrending.<\/p>\n

Hoss lifted a hand to wake Joe, but as he did his brother began to talk.\u00a0 Feeling like the lowest of the low, he pulled back and listened, hoping to hear something that would make him understand.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho….\u00a0 What do you want?\u201d Joe murmured, the words coming from a world of dream and only half-intelligible to those who did not inhabit it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat…do you mean?\u00a0 Me?\u00a0 What?\u201d\u00a0 Joe began to pitch from side to side.\u00a0 Without warning his hands shot out, crossing before his face in an attempt to ward something off.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 Don\u2019t….\u00a0 Don\u2019t<\/em> tie me up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s body followed his hands.\u00a0 He sat up abruptly, panting hard, the tears flowing down his cheeks.\u00a0 His eyes remained closed.<\/p>\n

Joe was still <\/em>asleep.<\/p>\n

His little brother remained silent, then he twisted violently, like a man evading a blow.\u00a0 \u201cGod, no,\u201d he moaned, \u201cGod.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No!<\/em>\u00a0 Don\u2019t touch me!\u201d<\/em> \u201c<\/p>\n

Hoss had had all he could take.\u00a0 He gripped Joe firmly by both arms.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, wake up!\u00a0 Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother shrieked.<\/p>\n

The big man didn\u2019t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of.\u00a0 He gathered Joe in his arms and held him tight, letting him struggle, taking the blows, and all the while telling him that he was safe.\u00a0 He<\/em> was here.<\/p>\n

He was home.<\/em><\/p>\n

A minute, maybe two later his brother quieted.\u00a0 It took a while but the sobs that wracked Joe\u2019s slender form turned to gasps and then to ragged breaths until at last he was breathing normally.\u00a0 Finally his little brother looked up, all red-eyed and snot-nosed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d Joe said, his voice trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey there, boy.\u00a0 You done frightened me right out of my skin.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss began to pull away, but Joe had hold of his arm and did not let go.\u00a0 \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother frowned.\u00a0 He opened and closed his eyes several times.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s fading, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s fadin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I saw…. No, I felt….\u00a0 No.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Joe\u2019s small form went rigid.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you remember what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe wiped the snot from his upper li[ with the back of his hand and the tears from it with the sleeve of his night robe.\u00a0 \u201cIt was just a dream,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat were more than a dream, Joe, you was plumb<\/em> terrified.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, I had a nightmare!\u201d Joe barked, his quick temper igniting.\u00a0 \u201cCan\u2019t a man have a night terror without someone thinking he\u2019s a little kid!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I didn\u2019t say you was a kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you were thinking<\/em> it!\u201d\u00a0 Joe shoved him away.\u00a0 \u201cGet out!\u00a0 Leave me alone!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood at the side of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere ain\u2019t nothing wrong!\u00a0 It\u2019s three o-\u2018clock in the morning and I want to get some sleep.\u00a0 How can I do that with a big lump<\/em> like you standing there asking me questions?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Joe, you was crying and I \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t <\/em>crying!\u00a0 You<\/em> were hearing things. Maybe it\u2019s you <\/em>who were dreaming!\u201d Joe countered testily even as another tear rolled down his face.<\/p>\n

Hoss held up a hand.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Joe, I\u2019m leavin\u2019.\u00a0 Just so you\u2019re all \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

His brother turned away from him and slammed his body back into the bed.\u00a0 He heard him stifle a cry of pain and then Joe said, \u201cI\u2019m fine. I just need some sleep.\u201d\u00a0 There was a pause and then quieter, with a plea, his baby brother added, \u201cPlease, Hoss, just go away.\u201d<\/p>\n

When he closed the door behind him and turned around, Hoss found his father standing in the hall.\u00a0 The older man had been there, he knew not how long, listening.\u00a0 The silver-haired man\u2019s expression was one of pain and purpose.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Joe?\u201d he asked as he inclined his head toward the room.<\/p>\n

Hoss was honest.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not sure, Pa.\u00a0 Somethin\u2019s sure <\/em>eatin\u2019 at him.\u00a0 You think it had to do with that talk with Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

It took the him a moment.\u00a0 \u201cYes, son, I\u2019m certain it did.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man glanced at the door.\u00a0 \u201cYou gonna go in and talk to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I imagine Joe wants to be alone.\u00a0 I\u2019ll check in on him later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you know I trust you \u2013 and I trust Adam,\u201d he said with a sigh.\u00a0 \u201dBut I sure wish you would let me in on whatever in Tarnation<\/em> is goin\u2019 on.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man sighed. \u201cI\u2019ve wanted to, son.\u00a0 It wouldn\u2019t ever<\/em> be my choice to leave one of my sons in the dark.\u201d\u00a0 Again, his eyes shot to the door to Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 \u201cI made a decision, thinking it was protecting you and<\/em> Joe.\u00a0 I was wrong.\u00a0 You need to know what Adam and I know.\u201d\u00a0 He paused and amended it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat we think<\/em> we know.\u00a0 Though, after tonight \u2013 after this \u2013 I am fairly certain we\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much did you hear, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost all of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss considered how painful that must have been for their father.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it you gotta tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man\u2019s face was grave as a shroud.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go downstairs where we can talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss sat in one of the red chairs that butted up against the hearth, his head down, his hands folded on his knees.\u00a0 His middle son had been staring at the fire since he finished talking.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 expression was hard to read.\u00a0 There was pain \u2013 and worry \u2013 there, but more than anything else Ben saw anger.<\/p>\n

A deep, simmering, slow-burning, bound-to-be-explosive-when-it-boiled-over anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, what are you thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man remained silent for a moment.\u00a0 One hand opened and closed slowly, forming a white-knuckled fist.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I ain\u2019t got words <\/em>for what I\u2019m thinkin,\u201d Hoss said, his voice quiet.\u00a0 \u201cYou know how it is with me and Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes, he knew.\u00a0 Ben had often heard Hoss refer to his brother as \u2018my\u2019 Little Joe.\u00a0 Well, someone had done something unspeakable to his<\/em> Little Joe and the silver-haired man knew what that meant.<\/p>\n

Hoss was ready to kill.<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand how angry you are \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

His son looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t rightly think you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour love of your baby brother runs deep as the roots of a Ponderosa pines, I know that<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt runs deeper, Pa.\u00a0 Deeper than that.\u00a0 So deep <\/em>there ain\u2019t no end to it, not even when you come out of the other side of the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben kept his voice even, logical, and spoke as much to himself as he did to Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cI understand that, son, but even if we knew who this man was \u2013 and if<\/em> it was proven that he did what Adam and I think he might <\/em>have done \u2013 that would still be no excuse for you or any one of us, much as we might want to, to take the law into our own hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if it ain\u2019t, Pa, it oughta<\/em> be,\u201d Hoss said, his anger reaching a medium burn.\u00a0 \u201cIf\u2019n I found myself that coward I\u2019d tear<\/em> him in two with my bare hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd go to jail.\u00a0 How would that benefit your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa,\u201d Hoss protested, looking up.\u00a0 \u201cJoe.\u00a0 This is Joe.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben remained standing for a moment and then dropped wearily onto the settee beside his son. Yes, it was Joe, and he wanted nothing more than to do the same thing \u2013 to find the man who did this alone somewhere and deliver to him the vengeance of God and<\/em> the law.\u00a0 But he was neither.<\/p>\n

He was neither God nor<\/em> the law.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, we…have to let Roy<\/em> find this man and arrest him.\u00a0 You can\u2019t do it, neither can Adam or I. We are too close, too involved<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 Ben drew a steadying breath.\u00a0 \u201cToo filled with rage<\/em>.\u00a0 And then, once he is<\/em> found, we have to let the law punish him.\u00a0 Otherwise, we are no better than he is.\u00a0\u00a0 We are just a different kind <\/em>of savage.\u201d<\/p>\n

As his temper boiled over, Hoss grew agitated.\u00a0 He leapt from his seat and began to pace.\u00a0 \u201cPa, whoever done this ain\u2019t a savage, he\u2019s just plain evil.<\/em>\u00a0 Savages don\u2019t know any better.\u00a0 You can\u2019t go tellin\u2019 me that this man didn\u2019t know what he was doin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s jaw tightened.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 He knew what he was doing.\u00a0 That still doesn\u2019t give us a right to take matters into our own hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTo me\u00a0belongeth\u00a0vengeance and recompense,\u201d he quoted the Bible as he rose.\u00a0 \u201c\u2018Their foot shall slide in due\u00a0time for the day of their calamity\u00a0is<\/em>\u00a0at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.\u201d\u00a0 The words from Deuteronomy hung in the air between them, challenging both<\/em> of them to do just that \u2013 leave revenge and repayment in God\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked like a balloon that had had the air let out.\u00a0 He scuffed the floor with his boot, like he had done as a little boy, and shoved his hands in his pockets.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt just don\u2019t seem right, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben ran a hand over his face.\u00a0 \u201cThere is nothing right<\/em> about any of this, Hoss.\u00a0 The attack.\u00a0 The possibility of what its consequences could do to Joseph.\u00a0 Your brother Adam….\u201d\u00a0 Ben paused.\u00a0 \u201cYour older brother separating himself from the family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s one you don\u2019t need to worry about any more, Pa,\u201d a fresh voice spoke from the open door.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man knew it.\u00a0 \u201cAdam!\u201d he exclaimed as he turned toward the sound.<\/p>\n

His eldest looked sheepish.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, it\u2019s me, Pa,\u201d he said quietly, \u201cback from the edge.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben crossed over to him quickly.\u00a0 \u201cAre you all right, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019m not all right.\u00a0 But you know what, Pa?\u00a0 That\u2019s <\/em>all right.\u00a0 I want to apologize to you, and to you too Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked at his brother and then came back to him.\u00a0 \u201cI thought I was thinking about everyone else, trying to protect <\/em>everyone else, but you were right, the one I was protecting was myself.\u201d\u00a0 His son hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry I let all of you down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Adam,\u201d his middle son said.<\/p>\n

His eldest cast a glance at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cYou told him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAfter what happened with Joe tonight I felt I had to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned, alert and on edge.\u00a0 \u201cWhat <\/em>happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy Coffee done come out to talk to little brother, Adam,\u201d Hoss told him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright drew a deep breath as he placed a hand on his son\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re brother is beginning to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

**This story is rated M for adult situations and themes including sexual assault, strong sexual innuendo , abusive behavior, violence and brutality.\u00a0 It contains mild adult language.\u00a0 WARNING: This story may not be appropriate for younger or more sensitive readers.**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PART THREE<\/p>\n

NINE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright stirred and looked up from the bill of sale he had read at least a half dozen times.\u00a0 It was about an hour before supper.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss were still on the range.\u00a0 He had come home early troubled by the brief conversation he had had with his youngest son that morning.\u00a0 When he had gone up to talk to Joe, the boy had been so much on edge that he had only asked him one or two questions and then left.\u00a0 He\u2019d met Phoebe in the hall and she said she would look after him.\u00a0 Tonight, when he returned, Joe was asleep and Phoebe was in her room, so he had come downstairs to catch up on paper work.<\/p>\n

It was Phoebe who\u2019d called him.\u00a0 The redhead stood with her hand on the lower newel post.\u00a0 She hesitated on the steps as if awaiting his permission to descend into the Great Room.<\/p>\n

Ben put the paper down on the table before him.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, please.\u00a0 Join me.\u201d\u00a0 As the young woman responded, he asked, \u201cWould you like me to have Hop Sing fix you some tea, or maybe something to eat?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cThough it\u2019s most kind of you to ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe Howath was dressed today in a gown cut from a lovely pale blue fabric with a deeper blue pattern worked over it.\u00a0 She had her hair in a ponytail.\u00a0 Golden-red curls cascaded from the ribbon that held it in place.\u00a0 As she took a seat opposite him on the settee, she spread her skirts wide.\u00a0 Then, as though nervous, her fingers began to pick at the folds of cloth and to arrange them in a pattern.<\/p>\n

When she said nothing, Ben asked, \u201cIs there something else<\/em> I can do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead straightened one more fold, pressing it on top of another, and then looked up.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like to talk to you about Little Joe.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s presumptuous \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

He cut her off.\u00a0 \u201cNonsense. Your presence at the Ponderosa has been the one ray of light in this dark matter.\u00a0 May I ask?\u00a0 Are you planning on leaving us?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe blinked.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want me to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 But Joe is mending and I thought perhaps you had come to tell me you would like to get back to your own life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her face pinched.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s part of why I wanted to talk to you.\u201d\u00a0 The young woman drew a deep, long breath.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen , please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen.\u00a0 What do you think of me?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a beautiful compassionate young woman who has freely given of her time and talents to take care of my son.\u00a0 What do you think <\/em>I think of you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe knitted her fingers together on top of her blue skirt.\u00a0 \u201cYou know what I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just said what you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her mouth drew into a line.\u00a0 \u201cYou do know what I do<\/em> for a living.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

He considered being vague, working his way around it and so on, but in the end decided to be honest.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I know what you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUpstairs<\/em> as well as downstairs at the Bucket?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 Phoebe, what is<\/em> this?\u201d<\/p>\n

The young woman rose and walked to the hearth where she stood looking at the fire.\u00a0 \u201cI was very young when I began to work at the saloon.\u00a0 Just over sixteen.\u00a0 At first I ran errands and helped with the upkeep.\u00a0 Sometimes I would deliver drinks to the tables.\u201d\u00a0 She looked back at him.\u00a0 \u201cThat all changed when I became nineteen.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I began to…pleasure<\/em> men.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why was she telling him this?<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been two years and, in that time, I have known many terrible things…have seen<\/em> many terrible things.\u00a0 A girl like me, there\u2019s no right to say \u2018no\u2019 to anything a man wants.\u201d\u00a0 She glanced at him from under lidded eyes.\u00a0 \u201cIt didn\u2019t seem so bad at the Bucket since, well, I\u2019d been in the same position before.\u00a0 There was a man back where I came from \u2013 a rich <\/em>man.\u00a0 I worked for him and he took a liking to me.\u00a0 At first, the attention was flattering but then, as the days went on and he grew more and more demanding, I began to be frightened of him.\u00a0 I ran, but only after he struck me and told me that was my one \u2018warning\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were beaten?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked up. \u201cYes.\u00a0 When I recovered, I told him I never wanted to see him again.\u00a0 When he didn\u2019t listen, I ran.\u00a0 He followed me from town to town and finally caught me.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe wrapped her arms around her chest.\u00a0 Her voice grew still.\u00a0 \u201cThis time he did more than beat <\/em>me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The fire behind her cracked, the sound startling in the silence that followed her last statement.\u00a0 Ben was at a loss for words.<\/p>\n

Phoebe crossed over to him and took a seat on the table in front of the settee.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s that<\/em> I wanted to talk to you about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you wanted to talk about Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright, I know this is going to be hard to hear, but I know what happened to Joe.\u201d\u00a0 When he started, she added, \u201cI\u2019ve seen it before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeen it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd experienced<\/em> it as I said.\u00a0 That man, the rich one who couldn\u2019t get me to give him what he wanted?\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe looked down.\u00a0 \u201cHe took <\/em>it by force.\u00a0 He beat me and had his way with me and left me for dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood Lord!\u201d Ben sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you see.\u00a0 I know what happened to Joe.\u201d\u00a0 The redhead paused.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I know what it will do to him if he remembers, because I know what it did to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man sank back in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what did it do to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead\u2019s fingers returned to working the fabric of her dress.\u00a0 Again, she didn\u2019t look at him.\u00a0 Ben noticed, as she recalled her terrible journey, that Phoebe\u2019s body language changed \u2013 she seemed to wither.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt first I just couldn\u2019t believe it happened.\u00a0 There had been other men, some of them cruel, but this was…different.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t talk about it, even to the other girls.\u00a0 I tried to go on normally, but then,\u201d her eyes flicked to his face, \u2018then I began to have nightmares and as I relived what happened, I began to blame myself.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have looked so pretty that night. I should have been able to get away.\u00a0 Everything became my fault and not his<\/em> and that made me sad and then guilty.\u00a0 I felt helpless, powerless, and that <\/em>made me angry, and since there was no one to be angry with other than myself, I fell into a very dark place.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben had his elbow on the chair arm.\u00a0 His chin was on his hand.\u00a0 He looked over his fingers at her.\u00a0 \u201cWhy are you telling me this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe moved to sit beside him on the settee.\u00a0 \u201cBen, what happened to Joe had nothing<\/em> to do with pleasure.\u00a0 It was about power and control.\u00a0 The man who did this wants to own<\/em> Joe, just like the man who took advantage of me wants to own <\/em>me.\u201d\u00a0 She paused.\u00a0 \u201cI am telling you this for two reasons.\u00a0 First of all, the man who assaulted me is still making threats.\u00a0 He intends to finish what he began.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re worried it might be the same with Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said two<\/em> reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you have no reason to trust me.\u00a0 I\u2019m practically a stranger.\u00a0 But, well, I think I can help Little Joe.\u201d\u00a0 She hesitated, as if unsure of her words.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I <\/em>can help him when none of you can.\u00a0 Partly because I am<\/em> a stranger, but mostly because I have felt everything he is feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd because you are a woman.\u00a0 That\u2019s why Paul wanted you here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her smile was wan.\u00a0 \u201cThat too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed again.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Joe.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be easy to get him to take help from anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s part of what I wanted to talk to you about too.\u00a0 If Little Joe thinks I am here just for him, he\u2019ll turn me away.\u00a0 I was wondering….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you could hire me, temporarily?\u00a0 To help in the kitchen or some such thing?\u00a0 That way I could remain, but Joe wouldn\u2019t think it was for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a cattle drive coming up and I was going to send Hop Sing with the men.\u201d<\/p>\n

The young woman struggled to hide her surprise.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re thinking of it?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man straightened up.\u00a0 He took her by the hand.\u00a0 \u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of what I am!\u201d<\/em> she blurted out.\u00a0 The redhead looked down.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m unclean, Ben.\u00a0 I don\u2019t deserve to be around your son.\u00a0 I just hoped….\u00a0 Well, maybe I could help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben took a finger and raised her chin.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s not what you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sniffed and a tear trailed down her cheek.\u00a0 \u201cNo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Let me tell you what you are, Phoebe Howath.\u00a0 You are a beautiful and intelligent young woman who has had more thrown at her than most and you have survived.\u201d\u00a0 When she started to protest, he said, \u201cYou listen to me, you are not a victim \u2013 you are a survivor<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the perfect teacher for my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wasn\u2019t supposed to be up and out of bed, but he was.\u00a0 He\u2019d actually thought of locking the door to his room to keep everyone out but decided against it, as he knew it would only make his father and brothers all the more determined to come in and that was the last thing he wanted them to do.\u00a0 He was standing, staring at his bedside table and the objects on it, his knuckles white on the table’s edge.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to see anybody.\u00a0 Joe stirred and then turned and looked across the room, noting his blurred reflection in the dresser mirror.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t even want to see himself.<\/p>\n

Outside it was dark and that suited his mood, since it was dark too.\u00a0 As the night masked the harsh realities of the day, the darkness within him was hard at work at the same thing \u2013 trying to swallow whatever it was that had happened to him and failing.\u00a0 He still didn\u2019t know exactly what it <\/em>was.\u00a0 He\u2019d been hit over the head and they said he\u2019d been robbed.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t remember the robbery.\u00a0 He really didn\u2019t remember much.\u00a0 But what he did remember….<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard over a lump in his throat the size of Nevada.<\/p>\n

What he did remember was disturbing.<\/p>\n

Joe crossed over to his bed and sat on its edge.\u00a0 Up until the time Roy Coffee had come, everything had been a blank.\u00a0 He\u2019d tried so hard to remember \u2013 to see<\/em> what had happened.\u00a0 He\u2019d never thought about using his other senses, scent and sound and…touch. When the Sheriff\u2019s question awakened them he\u2019d been flooded with all kinds of impressions \u2013 the smell of whiskey mixed with sweat, the pressure on his backside, rough fingers on his throat…\u00a0 But worst of all were the words.\u00a0 They echoed in his mind, repeating, never stopping, never<\/em> going away.<\/p>\n

\u2018I want <\/em>you, pretty boy.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe shuddered. \u2018Pretty boy\u2019.<\/p>\n

No.\u00a0 He…couldn\u2019t go there<\/em>. Not now.<\/p>\n

Maybe not ever.<\/p>\n

Rising, Joe began to pace the room, seeking in the confined space to escape his thoughts.\u00a0 He walked it from one end to the other a dozen times counting the paces, filling his brain with numbers, driving out the \u2018maybes\u2019 and the \u2018could have beens, as well as the \u2018No way in Hells!<\/em>\u2019\u00a0 His wandering took him to the other side of the room where his dresser was.\u00a0 He stopped and looked at his reflection.\u00a0 He hardly recognized himself.\u00a0 His skin was pale from lack of sun and his cheeks were hollow, sunken from days of pain and lack of food.\u00a0 But it was his eyes that bothered him the most.<\/p>\n

They were haunted by a kind of dread.<\/p>\n

A knock on the door jolted him and Joe jumped.\u00a0 A second later a voice asked, \u201cJoe, can I come in?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Adam.<\/p>\n

Joe drew a deep breath and held it.\u00a0 Maybe if he kept quiet Adam would go away.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

But no, that wouldn\u2019t work.\u00a0 Adam would come in to check on him and he\u2019d be forced to talk.\u00a0 It took only a second for him to decide that retreat was the wisest course.\u00a0 Flying across the room, Joe dove into his bed and pulled the sheets up to his chin, wincing as he landed.\u00a0 Slamming his eyes shut, he pretended to sleep.<\/p>\n

A second later the door opened.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, are you awake?\u201d<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not<\/em>, he thought.\u00a0 Not if it means I have to talk to you.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe heard Adam\u2019s intake of breath, followed by the release of it in a sigh. Seconds later he felt his eldest brother\u2019s presence beside him. Then, to his chagrin, Adam sat on the side of the bed and reached out and touched his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

He had to choose \u2013 face his brother or pretend to sleep.<\/p>\n

He chose the latter.<\/p>\n

Adam sighed again.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t lift his hand.\u00a0 Speaking quietly, his brother began to talk as if he could <\/em>hear him \u2013 not knowing, of course, that he did.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d he said softly, \u201cI know you can\u2019t hear me, but maybe somehow you\u2019ll know what I say.\u00a0 I wanted to….\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for not being there for you the last few days.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to explain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe winced.\u00a0 He felt like a lout.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know we\u2019re brothers, but, well, I\u2019ve always felt, in a way, that you were my<\/em> kid as much as Pa\u2019s.\u00a0 Those first years, when Hoss was little and Pa was away all the time, it was my job to keep both of you safe.\u00a0 Hoss was big as me by five but you, Joe, you were like your mother, small-boned and, I thought, fragile.\u201d\u00a0 His brother laughed.\u00a0 \u201cYou proved me wrong on that one fast enough.\u201d\u00a0 Adam shifted and lifted his hand.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know what I\u2019m trying to tell you, Joe.\u00a0 I guess it\u2019s just that most of the time when you think I don\u2019t trust you, when you think I<\/em> think of you as a child and won\u2019t give you responsibility or accept the fact that you can take it, I\u2019m really, well, afraid that something will happen to you and it will be my<\/em> fault.\u201d\u00a0 He heard his brother draw in a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cLike it is now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was caught in a strange place.\u00a0 He knew he should shift, moan, do something to indicate to Adam that he was awake or waking, so his brother wouldn\u2019t say something he would regret.\u00a0 But, at the same time, he wanted to stay still.<\/p>\n

He wanted<\/em> this window into Adam\u2019s soul.<\/p>\n

Adam shifted and then fell silent.\u00a0 Joe cracked one eyelid to see if he could tell what he was doing.\u00a0 His brother remained on the bed.\u00a0 Adam had his head in his hands.<\/p>\n

Just as he decided he should<\/em> say something, Adam turned and looked at him again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Joe. I\u2019m sorry for not being strong enough to say \u2018no\u2019.\u00a0 For not ordering <\/em>you to come home that night.\u00a0 You know, sometimes you think when you love someone that means you should give in to what they want.\u00a0 Pa never does.\u00a0 He\u2019s got it right.\u00a0 I gave in and look\u201d \u2013 his brother\u2019s voice broke \u2013 \u201clook what I\u2019ve done.\u201d\u00a0 Adam got suddenly to his feet.\u00a0 Joe peeked again and saw him walk over to the window.\u00a0 Once there, his brother leaned on the sash and looked out.\u00a0 A few seconds later, to his astonishment, he watched Adam strike away a tear.<\/p>\n

Still a coward, Joe closed his eyes again as his brother returned to the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne thing more, Joe, and then I\u2019ll go,\u201d Adam said, his voice shaking with emotion.\u00a0 \u201cI swear on the love I bear you that \u2013 no matter how <\/em>long it takes \u2013 I will find the man who did this to you and I will break <\/em>him.\u00a0 If I have to, I will end his life with my bare <\/em>hands.\u201d\u00a0 His brother paused.\u00a0 \u201cI know that won\u2019t undo the damage, but maybe, just maybe, it will bring you peace.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething I doubt I will ever<\/em> know again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Seconds later Joe heard the door close.\u00a0 He waited a few more and then rolled over.\u00a0 A heartbeat later he climbed out of bed and went to the door where he listened before opening it. Stepping out into the hall he listened again.\u00a0 He heard Adam and Pa exchange a few words and then the front door of the house open and close.<\/p>\n

Returning to his bed, Joe sat on the side of it again.\u00a0 He was not quite certain what to make of his brother\u2019s words.\u00a0 He understood that Adam was nearly bent in half under the weight of what had happened to him, but he still wasn\u2019t sure exactly why<\/em>.\u00a0 He\u2019d been beaten badly, but he\u2019d been beaten before and Adam knew he\u2019d be fine.\u00a0 What else could it be?\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes and concentrated on the memories Roy\u2019s questions had evoked.\u00a0 He smelled the whiskey mixed with sweat again, felt the pressure on his backside, began to choke with the fingers on his throat, and heard the words.\u00a0 Those damn <\/em>words.<\/p>\n

\u2018I want you, pretty boy\u2019<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Joe grew still as the words collided with the smell and the sound and the touch and he was propelled back to that night.<\/p>\n

He was in the dark, circling Pointer\u2019s Arch.\u00a0 He saw Beck\u2019s pale face flash in the darkness and the moon glint off the barrel of the gun his friend carried.\u00a0 With a nod he entered the space between the towering rocks.\u00a0 It was even blacker than the night.\u00a0 There was a sound \u2013 a sigh, a shifting in the dark, and then something hard came down on the back of his neck.\u00a0 Consciousness fled and he fell prone to the ground.<\/p>\n

That should have been all he could remember.\u00a0 It was <\/em>all he had been able to remember for a week now.<\/p>\n

But there was more.<\/p>\n

Joe remembered swimming up out of the darkness and clawing at wakefulness, though it was hard.\u00a0 His head pounded and rang like someone was laying on the front porch bell, pulling the string over and over and over again.\u00a0 The world around him was a watercolor blur that wouldn\u2019t keep still and kept winking in and out like a shuttered light on a stormy night.\u00a0 He tried to lift his body up but couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 That was when he became aware of two men.\u00a0 One was standing before him.\u00a0 The\u00a0 other was behind and on top of him.\u00a0 A hand found his neck and pressed his head down, making him eat dirt.\u00a0 Then, whoever it was, leaned in.\u00a0 He felt the brush of whiskers on his cheek and then he heard those<\/em> words.<\/p>\n

\u2018I want <\/em>you, pretty boy.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s knuckles were white where they gripped the bedclothes, twisting the fabric like it was the man\u2019s neck.\u00a0 In the stillness of the room he could hear his heartbeat.\u00a0 It was rapid. He was breathing hard, like he was in the middle of a fight.\u00a0 His body tensed, awaiting the next blow.<\/p>\n

The hand that held his neck shifted to his arm.\u00a0 Another one joined it.\u00a0 Together they took hold of his sleeve and roughly peeled off his suit coat.\u00a0 Next the hands caught hold of his dress shirt and ripped it in half, leaving the remnants lying beneath him.\u00a0 He\u2019d winked out again then, but when he woke up he could feel the wind on his backside and knew he was near naked. Close by one of the men was pacing, walking back and forth, muttering under his breath.\u00a0 He heard the sound of a man\u2019s fist slapping his palm and then, once again, the stink of whiskey and sweat, the pressure on his back, and the words….<\/p>\n

Only they were different this time.<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry, Joe, everything\u2019s gonna be all right.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Joe gasped and began to shake uncontrollably.\u00a0 He knew what had been done to him, but worse than that.<\/p>\n

It had been done by someone he knew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Phoebe stepped outside after her conversation with Ben.\u00a0 She\u2019d forgotten a shawl so she sat on the porch with her arms wrapped tightly around her body, trying to keep warm.\u00a0 She hadn\u2019t been there ten minutes when the front door opened and Adam Cartwright stepped out.\u00a0 Even though Adam was the one who had suggested she come to the Ponderosa, of all of the Cartwrights he was the one she had had the least dealings with since her arrival.\u00a0 The handsome black-haired man was often away, but more than that, seemed to have no interest in conversing with her the few times he had<\/em> come home.<\/p>\n

As he came abreast her, Ben\u2019s oldest son paused.\u00a0 \u201cAren\u2019t you cold?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

She stifled a shiver.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe had noticed that Adam had a funny little thing he did with his lips, where the ends pulled up like a bow.\u00a0 He\u2019d tilt his head then and raise one eyebrow as if whatever it was he looked at puzzled him.<\/p>\n

He was doing it now.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go get you a wrap,\u201d he said, surprising her.\u00a0 A moment later when he returned with a small throw and draped it around her shoulders, Ben\u2019s eldest said, \u201cNow we can\u2019t have the nurse needing nursing, can we?\u201d<\/p>\n

She caught the throw in her fingers and pulled it tightly about her throat.\u00a0 The warmth was wonderful.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I guess not,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded and then stepped off of the porch.\u00a0 Instead of walking on, he turned his face up and looked at the stars.\u00a0 \u201cOne pay-off for a frosty November day is a clear night sky.\u00a0 Look at those stars.\u201d<\/p>\n

They were <\/em>beautiful and brilliant, but stars had always seemed cold to her \u2013 distant and dispassionate.\u00a0 It seemed they looked on humanity with its triumphs and tragedies with indifference.\u00a0 \u201cThey are amazing to look at out here,\u201d she admitted.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I was little I lived in a city.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t see them there like you can here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam said, surprising her with the conversation.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I went to school back East, it was one of the things I missed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Emboldened, Phoebe echoed, \u201cOne<\/em> of the things?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat, and Hop Sing\u2019s cooking,\u201d he quipped.<\/p>\n

The redhead laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Hop Sing\u2019s cooking is <\/em>remarkable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam went to the table and took a seat.\u00a0 \u201cPa just told me you will be filling in for Hop Sing in a few days when the hands hit the trail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe is getting better.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it will be very long before he doesn\u2019t need me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve only been\u00a0 checking in on him a few times a day as it is.\u201d\u00a0 She met that curious gaze.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s time I pulled my weight around here or went back home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you don\u2019t want to go home?\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe ducked her head.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, to be truthful, I have no<\/em> home.\u00a0 The Bucket is certainly not that, and my mother, well, she doesn\u2019t want me living with her and my younger sister and brother.\u00a0 Not…not with what I do for a living.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean, being a saloon girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at her hands.\u00a0 \u201cAnd all that goes with it,\u201d Phoebe said quietly.<\/p>\n

Adam remained silent a moment.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Phoebe, when you first offered to come here, I wondered about your motives.\u00a0 It\u2019s pretty obvious what your feelings are for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you worried I hoped to make him dependent on me by making him grateful for what I had done?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI considered it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joe\u2019s big brother, you needn\u2019t worry,\u201d she said softly as she rose.\u00a0 \u201cEven if Joe cared for me in that way, I know I would never be accepted as a Cartwright, and after what I have seen \u2013 experienced<\/em> here, there is no way I would do anything to drive a wedge between Joe and his family.\u00a0 Now, if you\u2019ll excuse me, I\u2019ll be going inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man in black stopped her with a hand on her arm.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean, \u2018never be accepted as a Cartwright\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

She met his puzzled gaze.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Adam, don\u2019t be naive.\u00a0 You know what I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he said, \u201ctell me what you are<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The skin around Phoebe\u2019s blue eyes pinched.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re being cruel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not.\u00a0 You know, slapping a label on something limits its possibilities.\u00a0 If I pick up a bottle and its labeled \u2018rot gut\u2019, I know I\u2019m not getting champagne.\u00a0 However, if the bottle has no label, well then, I have to test it to know what it\u2019s made of.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve been tested this past week, Phoebe, and we know<\/em> what you\u2019re made of.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tears filled her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks.\u00a0 The oldest of the Cartwright boys looked nonplussed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I say?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Phoebe lifted a hand, struck the tears away, and shook her head.<\/p>\n

Adam waited until she looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cThank you,\u201d he said simply.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for what you have done for Joe.\u00a0 I can\u2019t begin to tell you how grateful I am for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s nothing.\u00a0 Joe was kind to me \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven though you didn\u2019t deserve it?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was an edge to his voice.\u00a0 Startled, she looked at him. Then she realized what Adam was doing.\u00a0 He was giving word to her <\/em>thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she answered.<\/p>\n

Adam withdrew his hand.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, a wise friend once told me that we cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve<\/em> to have.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never escape that saloon, or the life you\u2019ve led, until you believe that you can<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another tear fell.\u00a0 \u201cWhy are you being so kind?\u201d<\/p>\n

He caught her chin in his fingers and lifted her head so she could look at him.\u00a0 \u201cBecause, after the care you have given my brother, expecting nothing in return, you do<\/em> deserve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Behind them the door opened.\u00a0 As the interior light spilled out into the night, Ben Cartwright\u2019s tall broad form filled the door.\u00a0 Phoebe turned toward him and immediately knew something was wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Ben asked, \u201cis your brother with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Hoss?\u00a0 You know he\u2019s still out on the range, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNot Hoss.\u00a0 Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe watched the man in black go rigid.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s not in his room?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cI just went up to check in on him.\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s not in his bed and he\u2019s not anywhere else in the house.\u00a0 I was hoping he was out here with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry to say it, Pa, but he\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI should never have let Roy question him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou couldn\u2019t have stopped it. Roy\u2019s the law.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I<\/em> am Joe\u2019s father.\u201d\u00a0 The older man turned and, building up a head of steam, headed for the house.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, saddle our horses. We\u2019re going after him.\u201d\u00a0 Ben threw his hands up in the air.\u00a0 \u201cBy God!\u00a0 What am I going to do with that boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I think we should leave Joe alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben spun back.\u00a0 Phoebe felt his fear and fury as he demanded, \u201cYou what?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIf this has to do with Roy questioning Joe, Pa \u2013 if Joe\u2019s remembered something more \u2013 then he may need <\/em>to be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother needs his family around him.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Adam saw he was not going to persuade his father, he changed tactics.\u00a0 \u201cAll right then, let me go.\u00a0 Alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, no \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, listen to me, if one of us goes, I think it should be me. You know how Joe is, he\u2019ll talk to Hoss or me before he does you.\u201d\u00a0 At his father\u2019s look, he added with a shrug, \u201cIt\u2019s just the way we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man considered it.\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u201d\u00a0 Lifting a finger, he pointed it at the man in black.\u00a0 \u201cBut if you are not back here \u2013 with <\/em>your brother \u2013 in four hours time, I am coming to find you both.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

After his father had gone back inside, Phoebe asked, \u201cWhere do you think Joe went?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man in black turned toward her.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think, I know<\/em>,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cJust like Pa knows, because it\u2019s where we would have gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd where is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked to the north.<\/p>\n

\u201cBack to the scene of the crime.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TEN<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was exhausted by the time he reached Pointer\u2019s Arch.\u00a0 Not only was he plain worn out, but each step Cochise took was a jolt of agony to a body that had had too much.<\/p>\n

Everything hurt.<\/p>\n

But he wasn\u2019t going to let that stop him.\u00a0 It was there \u2013 close \u2013 like a word on the tip of his tongue, the memory of all that had happened.\u00a0 He knew now that he had to find the monster who had done this to him before his brother did \u2013 before Adam peered into the darkness so long that it looked back into him.\u00a0 He had never heard such words come out of his cool, calm brother.\u00a0 Adam was a man of action, but it was well-thought<\/em> out action.\u00a0 Unlike him, Adam didn\u2019t act on impulse.<\/p>\n

Or at least he never had before.<\/p>\n

Joe shivered and pulled the collar of his nightshirt closer about his throat.\u00a0 What his brother had expressed tonight when he thought he was asleep was pure<\/em> raw<\/em> emotion.\u00a0 It frightened him, not for himself, but for Adam.\u00a0 He realized now that his older brother was hurting nearly as much as he was.\u00a0 Adam was bent under a load of guilt bigger than a man could bear.\u00a0 He blamed himself.<\/p>\n

Now Joe knew for what.<\/em><\/p>\n

A wave of nausea washed over him as he carefully dismounted and tethered Cochise to a tree.\u00a0 Joe stood for a moment, leaning his head on the saddle, and then turned to face what lay before him.\u00a0 There, silhouetted against the risen moon, was the Arch.\u00a0 It\u2019s piled stones loomed over him like the tower in the Brothers\u2019 Grimm fairy tale his brother Hoss used to read him, the one called, \u2018The Pink\u2019, in which a woman, unjustly accused, is imprisoned in a high stone tower where neither sun nor moon could be seen.\u00a0 The space within the stones of Pointer\u2019s Arch was like that.\u00a0 It was black as the Devil\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n

It both terrified and<\/em> called to him.<\/p>\n

Joe steeled himself.\u00a0 If he was going to free his brother from deep guilt and himself from the deeper, rising tide of shame and disgrace that threatened to overwhelm him \u2013 if he was ever<\/em> going to be able to call himself a \u2018man\u2019 again, ever to look at his brothers and his father without feeling that same shame<\/em>, then this was something he had<\/em> to do.<\/p>\n

He had to face the monster head-on.<\/p>\n

Drawing a deep breath, the man with the curly brown hair held it and then let it out slowly.<\/p>\n

Then Joe stepped into the Arch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam saddled Sport and flew out of the ranch, pushing both the horse and himself as hard as he could. Though he still believed it would have been better to give Joe some room, he knew his father meant what he said and the older man would follow hard on his heels as soon as the four hour limit had expired.\u00a0 As he galloped toward Virginia City and Pointer\u2019s Arch, the man in black considered what he would do when he got there if <\/em>that was indeed where his little brother had gone.\u00a0 If Joe\u2019s memory had returned, what would he say to him?\u00a0 How<\/em> would he help him?<\/p>\n

How could he make <\/em>Joe understand it made no difference?<\/p>\n

Pointer\u2019s Arch was about four miles outside of town, so he knew \u2013 pushing Sport as he was \u2013 that he could make it in under an hour.\u00a0 That would give him an hour or so to find and talk to his brother before they would need to head back.\u00a0 Considering the subject, that was probably far too little or far too much<\/em> time in which to do so.\u00a0 He wondered now, since Joe had left the house so soon after his visit, if his little brother had been awake for a part of it.\u00a0 Maybe, as he\u2019d feared, something he\u2019d said in that unguarded moment had served as a trigger, bringing back more detail of that horrible night. \u00a0Adam\u2019s jaw clenched and tightened as he swallowed over a wave of nausea.\u00a0 A man never truly knew what he was made of until he was taken to the end of his mental and spiritual rope, and then driven to the place where his hands reached for it, but found nothing.<\/p>\n

Nothing but what was already in him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was in the Arch.\u00a0 It was completely dark where he stood but that didn\u2019t mean the darkness was empty.\u00a0 It was filled with hazy indistinguishable shadows that moved with a life of their own.\u00a0 The shadows shifted, moving around him, leaning in, towering over him like whoever it had been who had straddled him and ridden him like an animal.\u00a0 Again he smelled that scent \u2013 whiskey and sweat \u2013 and heard the hateful words ring in his ears.\u00a0 Closing his eyes, Joe listened this time, searching for something in the voice \u2013 a certain accent, a turn of phrase, anything <\/em>that might lead him to recognize who the man was.<\/p>\n

\u2018I want you, pretty boy.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry, Joe, everything\u2019s gonna be all right.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Whoever it was knew him by name<\/em>.\u00a0 That meant the attack hadn\u2019t been a random act or one of opportunity, but had been well thought out and planned.<\/p>\n

Joe sickened.\u00a0 He thought he was going to vomit.\u00a0 Planned.<\/em><\/p>\n

Who planned <\/em>on destroying a man?<\/p>\n

As he continued to press for more, as he went over and over and over <\/em>the attack again in his mind, Joe\u2019s heart began to pound fast and hard as a spooked herd dashing across the baked earth of the desert.\u00a0 It pounded so hard and rushed so<\/em> fast he was afraid it might just burst out of his chest.\u00a0 Lightheaded, he dropped to his knees.\u00a0 His knuckles went white where he gripped the grass and for a moment he was overwhelmed by the deepest, most desperate rage he had ever known.\u00a0 All too quickly, though, the rage betrayed him.\u00a0 Like a sudden storm it passed, leaving guilt and grief and shame and despair \u2013 oh, God<\/em>, the despair! \u2013 in its wake.\u00a0 He fought it, but he lost.<\/p>\n

The tears flowed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam spotted Cochise tethered to a tree before he got to Pointer\u2019s Arch.\u00a0 He halted where he was and dismounted.\u00a0 Leaving Sport behind, the man in black continued forward on foot.<\/p>\n

The night was black.\u00a0 The stars he and Phoebe had been looking at had winked out, hidden by clouds that hinted at an approaching storm.\u00a0 The air was chill and there was a touch of rain in it \u2013 a cold wet rain that was enough to darken a man\u2019s thoughts, even if he had no other provocation.\u00a0 Pulling his coat up around his throat, Adam squared his shoulders and moved into it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hadn\u2019t moved.\u00a0 He sat hunched over, still gripping the grass, his fingers numb.\u00a0 Sobs wracked his slender frame, making him feel even less of a man and even more the rightful <\/em>victim of someone who was stronger than him both in determination and daring.\u00a0 Had he done something to give this man \u2013 whoever he was \u2013 the wrong impression?\u00a0 He knew there were men who liked men.\u00a0 He\u2019d been around enough drifters and ranch hands and miners to be aware of it.\u00a0 There\u2019d been a boy who had hung around him in school.\u00a0 He thought he was a friend until one day he realized the boy was interested in more than that.\u00a0 He\u2019d decked him with a single punch.<\/p>\n

Still, this was different.\u00a0 There was something this monster, whoever he was, had taken from him that had nothing to do with the man\u2019s sick desire or need for pleasure \u2013\u00a0 and everything<\/em> to do with breaking him, with stealing his strength and confidence \u2013 with having power<\/em> over him.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d come to Pointer\u2019s Rock to slay the dragon and, in the end, it was him who ended up burned.<\/p>\n

Joe stifled a sob.\u00a0 Stop crying, he ordered himself.\u00a0 Stop.<\/em>\u00a0 Crying.<\/em>\u00a0 As another wave of despair washed over him, he held his breath.\u00a0 His only reward was a heaving chest and the feeling that he was going to pass out.\u00a0 Dropping his head between his hands where they still clutched the grass, he tried to prevent it.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to pass out \u2013 not here<\/em> \u2013 not where it<\/em> happened.<\/p>\n

Abruptly, Joe straightened up.\u00a0 The man could<\/em> still be here.\u00a0 Watching. Waiting.\u00a0 His head turned from side to side rapidly examining the shadows, sniffing for that scent and listening for that voice \u2013 that unfamiliar familiar <\/em>voice that he should have known \u2013 had<\/em> to know.<\/p>\n

Needed<\/em> to know.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d put on his gun before he left the house.\u00a0 Rising quickly, Joe palmed it and cocked the trigger, ready to shoot at the first thing that moved.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was making his way toward the Arch.\u00a0 From within its dark recesses came the sound of heartbreaking cries and he supposed it was Little Joe. That presented him with a dilemma.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to embarrass his brother, but at the same time, if Joe was in pain then he needed<\/em> him and he couldn\u2019t retreat.\u00a0 The man in black halted just within a circle of trees that surrounded the tall stack of rocks and listened again.\u00a0 The sounds were those of a soul on the edge of being lost.<\/p>\n

Damning sense and reason to Hell, he ran toward the Arch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned in a circle like a caged animal.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard a noise \u2013 the whinny of a horse nearby \u2013 and knew someone was coming.\u00a0 His pa had always taught him to shout out a warning if he wasn\u2019t sure, but if this was the fiend who had assaulted him before he didn\u2019t deserve<\/em> a warning.<\/p>\n

He deserved to die.<\/p>\n

As the sound grew closer Joe stepped out of the arch.\u00a0 His finger closed on the trigger and he fired.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam saw Joe, standing like a pale white fury with a gun in his hand about three seconds before the gunpowder ignited, lighting his little brother\u2019s terrified face before propelling the metal cylinder down the scored barrel and out at a speed it would be hard to avoid at this distance.\u00a0 The man in black twisted violently and reared back almost in time.<\/p>\n

But not quite.<\/p>\n

Seconds later the bullet struck the flesh of Adam\u2019s forehead, spinning him and dropping him to the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss returned to find his father seated outside in the chair Joe had occupied the night before.\u00a0 The older man was so quiet he almost missed him.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until he stepped onto the porch and opened the front door to go in, allowing the light to escape, that he saw him.<\/p>\n

He hadn\u2019t seen his pa look that way since Marie died.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man didn\u2019t move.\u00a0 \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come you\u2019re sitting out here in the dark?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m waiting on your brothers,\u201d he answered.<\/p>\n

It took a second. \u201cBrothers?<\/em>\u00a0 You mean \u2018two\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father stirred.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 I discovered Joe was gone. Adam went to find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGone?\u00a0 Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss closed the door and went to his father\u2019s side.\u00a0 \u201cLittle brother ain\u2019t well enough to be running around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 No, he\u2019s not.\u201d The older man rose to his feet.\u00a0 He pulled a pocket watch out and checked it.\u00a0 \u201cFifteen minutes more and I go after them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss puzzled over it for a minute.\u00a0 \u201cHow will you know where to go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Adam thought the same as me, that your brother would be headed for…for the place where all of this began.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we gotta go help him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI gave your older brother four hours.\u00a0 It\u2019s not up yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d Adam want to go alone?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss didn\u2019t realize how much his question would hurt the older man.\u00a0 \u201cAdam thought Joe would talk to him.\u201d\u00a0 That implied, of course, that Joe would not<\/em> talk to him.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you know how it is,\u201d he tried.\u00a0 \u201cYou had a brother.\u00a0 You can tell your brother things you just…well..that you couldn\u2019t tell your pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI know that, son, but it doesn\u2019t make it hurt any less.\u00a0 You boys, you\u2019re,\u201d the older man\u2019s voice cracked under the strain, \u201cyou\u2019re my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe knows that Pa,\u201d the big man said softly.\u00a0 \u201cSo does Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man nodded.\u00a0 He looked at his watch again and then snapped the gold case shut with a click.\u00a0 \u201cSaddle Buck for me, son.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let Phoebe know what we\u2019re doing, and then we\u2019re going to find your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned.\u00a0 He shifted and moaned and then blinked, trying to find a focus.\u00a0 It ended up being the very concerned and contrite face of his little brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, big brother,\u201d Joe said sheepishly.\u00a0 \u201cI thought I killed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo such luck.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, don\u2019t josh about such a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

He could hear both the concern and guilt in his brother\u2019s voice.\u00a0 After another groan, the man in black reached up and touched his head.\u00a0 It was bandaged, but he could feel warm blood staining the rags.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got you good,\u201d Joe winced.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou certainly did.\u201d\u00a0 He reached out then.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, help me sit up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you should?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam scowled.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to whether I should<\/em> or not. You can help me or sit and watch me fall on my face.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instantly, Joe\u2019s arm was around his shoulders.\u00a0 Once he was in position, his little brother caught a canteen up from the ground and offered it to him.\u00a0 \u201cYou want some water?\u201d<\/p>\n

He took the canteen even as he nodded.\u00a0 Once he was finished, he let Joe take it and put it to the side.\u00a0 Leaning back against the large stone his brother had propped him against, Adam fought nausea and dizziness to focus on the kid who sat beside him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe blinked.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re the one who got shot.\u00a0 Shouldn\u2019t I be asking you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 How are you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His little brother screwed up his face in that way he had since he was a little boy.\u00a0 It was something like the look you gave a parent when they found your hand in the jar of sweets.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay for a man who nearly killed his brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019re avoiding the question.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hesitated, but then went on.\u00a0 \u201cI heard you as I was walking up to the Arch.\u00a0 Do you need me to spell out what<\/em> I heard?\u201d\u00a0 As Joe ducked his head, he asked again.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His brother sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow<\/em> don\u2019t you know?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam waited.\u00a0 After a second he added, \u201cYou have to tell someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

His head remained down.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know that I can, Adam.\u00a0 Not you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stared at Joe, thinking.\u00a0 \u201cYou were awake the other night when I came into your room, weren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe said nothing, but he nodded.<\/p>\n

Adam tried to remember everything he had said.\u00a0 He was being honest \u2013 probably more honest than he should have been if he had known Joe could hear him.\u00a0 \u201cI meant what I said.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s curly brown head came up. The look out of his green eyes was intense.\u00a0 \u201cI know that, Adam.\u00a0 That\u2019s why <\/em>I can\u2019t tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

A short silence fell between them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it so<\/em> bad?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n

A shudder ran the length of his baby brother\u2019s slender frame.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s my fault,\u201d he said at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s your fault?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes flicked to his face and then away again.\u00a0 When he spoke, the word was as small as his voice.\u00a0 \u201cEverything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what happened to you \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

His brother\u2019s anger broke like waves crashing on the shore.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you know I\u2019m right!\u00a0 If I\u2019d a listened to you, if I hadn\u2019t insisted on staying for the poker game \u2013 if I hadn\u2019t had so much to drink \u2013 it never would\u2019ve happened!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t know that,\u201d he said firmly.<\/p>\n

Joe jumped to his feet and began to pace.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I do!\u00a0 I had so much to drink that my head wasn\u2019t straight.\u00a0 I could\u2019ve been faster, could\u2019ve stopped him from…what he did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018What he did\u2019 hung between them as an unspoken horror for which neither of them had words.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven if you had been completely sober, that blow to the head would have incapacitated you,\u201d Adam said in his most calm, most rational voice, even though the voice in his head was screaming that, for the bastard<\/em> who had done this to his brother, death was too good <\/em>a fate. Confident Joe.\u00a0 Cocky Joe.\u00a0 Ornery-to-the-bone and so-sure-of-himself you wanted to smack him Joe.<\/p>\n

How dare that monster turn his brother into this?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know Adam.\u00a0 I \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked at him.\u00a0 For a moment, his expression didn\u2019t change. Then he half-smiled. \u201cThat\u2019s a lot of confidence in me coming from a man I just nearly killed by accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

A little smile quirked the edges of his lips.\u00a0 \u201cThank God you couldn\u2019t hit a bucket sitting on a fence at two feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s nose wrinkled.\u00a0 \u201cYou just try me,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n

Adam held his gaze.\u00a0 \u201cI mean to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam reached up and touched his forehead.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d say we\u2019re even now, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

He winced as his fingers came away bloody. \u201cI did something stupid by letting you stay in town for that poker game, and you did something stupid by nearly killing me.\u00a0 I\u2019d say that makes us square.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe scratched his head.\u00a0 \u201cSorry about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held his brother\u2019s gaze.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry too.\u201d<\/p>\n

His little brother stared at him a moment longer and then, taking a seat beside him, leaned his head back against the wall of stone.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t blame you, big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t blame yourself either.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe leaned forward and rested his locked hands on his raised knee.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, why do things like this happen?\u00a0 I mean…we go to church most Sundays and the Good Book promises God will watch over us….\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face grew haunted.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t….\u00a0 I can\u2019t….\u201d\u00a0 His brother\u2019s voice trailed off to next to nothing.\u00a0 \u201c…why?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam drew\u00a0 deep breath and looked at the sky.\u00a0 Really<\/em>, he thought, really?<\/em><\/p>\n

Straightening up, the man in black reached out and placed a hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder. Joe was trembling.\u00a0 It was only then that he noted how poorly he was dressed.\u00a0 Joe was still in his nightshirt and had simply pulled on a pair of boots and pants and tucked the tail of the thin garment into it.\u00a0 Adam hesitated and then he shifted and placed his arm around his brother\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 He felt Joe tense and then relax in the embrace.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to be honest with you, Joe. \u00a0Since what…happened, I\u2019ve asked the same questions and I can\u2019t say I\u2019ve been entirely content with the answers.\u201d\u00a0 Adam shifted and drew his brother in a little closer, seeking to warm him.\u00a0 \u201cWhen Marie \u2013 when your mother died \u2013 I watched Pa struggle with it.\u00a0 I was about to go East to school, Hoss was barely old enough to be on his own, and you were just a little boy.\u00a0 It seemed to me that Pa should break.\u00a0 He\u2019d lost my mother, Inger, and now yours.\u00a0 But Pa never wavered.\u00a0 He never doubted God.\u00a0 He told me one time that life was like a woman\u2019s needlework.\u00a0 If you looked at it from the underside, it was a tangled mess, but when you turned it over and you realized the time and the skill and the knowledge that went into making the beautiful art you saw there, you had to know the one making it knew what she was doing.\u00a0 Pa said, \u2018Adam, it\u2019s like that with God.\u00a0 You have to trust the Maker\u2019s hand.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s slender form slumped against his even as a soft rain began to fall outside the Arch.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s words were slurred with fatigue.\u00a0 \u201cDo you, Adam?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cDo you<\/em> trust the Maker\u2019s hand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat there, feeling the weight and the warmth of his brother\u2019s form against his own.\u00a0 Joe could have been dead, but he wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 He was here.\u00a0 In his arms.<\/p>\n

Safe.<\/p>\n

Adam settled back and braced his head on the stone as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Joe.\u00a0 I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u00a0 I see Sport!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said in a tense whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd there\u2019s Cochise,\u201d the older man breathed as he checked his horse\u2019s progress, obviously relieved.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned Chubb\u2019s nose toward him.\u00a0 \u201cWhere do you suppose Adam and Joe are?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father nodded toward Pointer\u2019s Arch.\u00a0 \u201cI imagine we\u2019ll find them in there.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do you suppose Joe\u2019d want to come here <\/em>of all places?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know your brother,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s a scrapper.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never known him to run from a fight.\u201d\u00a0 His father\u2019s face set in sadness.\u00a0 \u201cEven when the fight is with himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked toward the Arch, trying, but trying not<\/em> to think about what happened there near a week before.\u00a0 \u201cYou think Joe\u2019s gonna be all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man nodded.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s not alone.\u00a0 A man can survive anything if he\u2019s surrounded by those he loves.\u00a0 Come on.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two of them nudged their mounts forward.\u00a0 When they came abreast Adam\u2019s horse, they tethered their own and dismounted and continued on foot.<\/p>\n

He was the one who spotted them, sitting together within the Arch.\u00a0 Adam had his arm wrapped protectively around Joe.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s head rested on Adam\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

Both were asleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss.\u201d\u00a0 His father caught his arm and held him back.\u00a0 Then he indicated with a nod that they should retreat.<\/p>\n

The big man was puzzled.\u00a0 \u201cPa, didn\u2019t you see Adam\u2019s head?\u00a0 He\u2019s hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but it seems to be under control.\u00a0 I think, Hoss, that maybe it\u2019s important we let the two of them come home on their own rather than waking them and dragging them there.\u201d\u00a0 The older man sighed.\u00a0 \u201cThere seems to be no danger and your older brother is just as much in need of healing as your younger one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know Adam sure does blame himself for what happened to Joe,\u201d Hoss acknowledged quietly. \u201cBut I don\u2019t feel right leavin\u2019 them out here, with both of them hurting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand that, son.\u201d\u00a0 His father thought a moment. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you keep watch during the night, and then ride out before they become aware that you\u2019re here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded his thanks.\u00a0 \u201cI can do that, Pa.\u00a0 What\u2019re you goin\u2019 to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c I think, since we\u2019ve come so far, that I am going to ride into town and see if Roy has found out anything new about Joe\u2019s attack or about that other tragic young man who was killed.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man looked at the sleeping pair again.\u00a0 \u201cWe was lucky, weren\u2019t we?\u00a0 We coulda lost Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father nodded.\u00a0 \u201cLucky, and blessed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss removed his hat and scratched his head.\u00a0 \u201cGod\u2019s ways sure are mysterious, ain\u2019t they, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs above ours as ours are above an ant\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d you suppose God would have let somethin\u2019 like this happen to Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWhy did God let your mother die?\u00a0 Why Elizabeth, or Marie?\u00a0 The Good Book doesn\u2019t promise Heaven here, son, just that there is something better after this life, and that Heaven is real.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The big man nodded.\u00a0 \u201cWell, if you ask me, God\u2019s gotta have a special spot for Little Joe.\u00a0 He done rescued him enough times already for a man twice his age.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think, no, I know<\/em> God has a special path for your brother \u2013 for each<\/em> of you.\u00a0 The trials we face are what make us the men we become.\u00a0 God tries those hardest whom He loves the most.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss snorted.\u00a0 \u201cWell, then, he sure<\/em> does love Little Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was good to hear his father laugh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was weak and shivering when they woke up.\u00a0 Adam wrapped his coat around him and placed his brother before him on Sport and then, with Cochise tethered behind, started for home just as the sun broke over the horizon and the world began to wake.\u00a0 As they rode Joe\u2019s head lulled and from that point on he was in and out of consciousness until they reached the house.\u00a0 In spite of everything Adam had to smile as they began their journey.\u00a0 He\u2019d awakened and gone to fill the canteen he\u2019d brought before they did so.\u00a0 Hoss had done his best to disappear into the foliage, but he caught a glimpse of him.\u00a0 As he returned to Joe, he\u2019d heard his middle brother ride away.\u00a0 Hoss would be there on the porch waiting to greet them with arms wide open and no questions asked.<\/p>\n

As he had said to their father earlier, it was how they were.<\/p>\n

Joe moaned and shifted beneath his arm.\u00a0 Adam drew him in more tightly to his chest.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think his brother was sick, just worn out.\u00a0 The strain of facing what had happened to him would have been more than enough, let alone the ride to Pointer\u2019s Arch when Joe had barely been able to walk on his own two days before and now, the ride back.\u00a0 He could only hope this night would bring a kind of new beginning and that they both could let go of their guilt and move on.<\/p>\n

It would be harder for Joe, he knew.\u00a0 Somewhere out there was a man who had taken terrible advantage of him.\u00a0 The fact that he had, and that the man remained free, was bound to leave scars.\u00a0 But, hopefully, now that they all knew and could all pull together, the love that they shared would be enough to bring his brother through.<\/p>\n

As they entered the yard and he called on Sport to slow, Joe stirred beneath his hand and looked up.\u00a0 \u201cAdam,\u201d he murmured dreamily.\u00a0 \u201cWhere are we?\u201d<\/p>\n

On the porch Adam saw someone shift and rise from the chair.\u00a0 A moment later Hoss stepped off the deck and headed for them.\u00a0 Behind him, Hop Sing emerged from the house to watch.\u00a0 Phoebe was there too, and though there was no sign of their Pa, Adam knew he was there in spirit.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you where we are, Joe,\u201d he said, giving his brother a little squeeze.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ELEVEN<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright crossed his arms and leaned on the top of the fence beside the stable.\u00a0 He was watching his youngest work.\u00a0 Another week had passed and, physically, Joe seemed to be recovering nicely.\u00a0 Hop Sing had been forcing extra portions on Joseph at supper to help him regain the bulk he had lost, and he had set his youngest to easy chores like the painting he was doing now.\u00a0 Joe was urging him to allow him to take on more.\u00a0 So far he had refused.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t only that his son didn\u2019t have the stamina \u2013 Joe lacked the mental acumen as well.<\/p>\n

Since the night he and Adam had ridden into the yard after their short excursion in the woods, Joe had not been himself.\u00a0 He\u2019d often found his youngest sitting in the Great Room or in the chair on the porch, just staring.\u00a0 Though he had been given leave to go into Virginia City with his brothers, he\u2019d chosen not to and had stayed close to home \u2013 as if the memories of a certain journey on that road were more than he could bear.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s temper had grown shorter than ever.\u00a0 It took very little to set him off.\u00a0 Sometimes it seemed he was angry with himself.\u00a0 Other times, at God and the world.\u00a0 Ben suspected it had something to do with the fear that had followed in the wake of realizing what had happened that night.\u00a0 Joseph was fearless \u2013 or he had been.\u00a0 The fact that he hadn\u2019t taken off\u00a0 again \u2013 without permission \u2013 on his own to solve the mystery of what happened to him said a great deal.\u00a0 The older man looked at his boy, working hard and breaking a sweat.\u00a0 He was so serious.\u00a0 That was another thing, Joe rarely smiled and was less prone to laugh.<\/p>\n

Dear Lord!<\/em>\u00a0 How he missed that laugh.<\/p>\n

But these were not the things that troubled him most.\u00a0 His son had a lot to process.\u00a0 He knew that.\u00a0 The thing that bothered him the most was that Joe had withdrawn.\u00a0 He and the boys would end the day, go in and eat their supper, and then Joe would excuse himself and go up to his room.\u00a0 Words were the key that unlocked a man\u2019s soul.\u00a0 Without words \u2013 without communication \u2013 it was nearly impossible to tell what someone was feeling.<\/p>\n

That night, when Joe bolted and Adam went to find him, he had ridden in to talk to Roy Coffee.\u00a0 The Sheriff hadn\u2019t been in upon his arrival and so he had taken a seat and waited on him.\u00a0 Roy came in later.\u00a0 He and his deputy had been out following a lead on the Fitzgerald boy\u2019s murder, but it had come to naught.\u00a0 Someone thought they had seen Alec leave the saloon in the company of an older, well-dressed man.\u00a0 Roy had gone to question the witness, to see if they knew anything more, but was disappointed in the end.\u00a0 He and the sheriff sat for a while talking, and then Ben had left to see if he could find Doc Martin at home.\u00a0\u00a0 Since Adam had designed their house with a large common area and an open stair, it was hard to talk and be certain no one would hear.\u00a0 Most of the time that was fine as he had no secrets to hide, but now \u2013 with this <\/em>\u2013 he didn\u2019t want his youngest to hear some of the questions he would be forced to ask the doctor.<\/p>\n

Ben watched as Joe stopped to take a drink, and then dipped a rag in the water and used it to wipe the sweat from his face. The weather had taken a sudden turn and today felt more like September than November.\u00a0 He noticed his son had tossed on an extra layer in the form of a loose fitting flannel shirt.\u00a0 By its size, it could\u2019ve been one of Adam\u2019s.\u00a0 It was definitely not in keeping with Joe\u2019s usual dapper, form-fitting, attention-grabbing style. His son was a handsome and fit man and he liked to show it off.<\/p>\n

The fact that he wasn\u2019t was another thing that troubled him.<\/p>\n

After leaving Roy\u2019s office he\u2019d crossed to the doctor\u2019s on the off-chance the older man would be working and was fortunate to find him there.\u00a0 When the door opened to his knock, Doc Martin\u2019s weary face appeared.\u00a0 He had just returned from a visit to a farm south of the city where he had delivered a set of twins, only one of whom had survived.\u00a0 Even though he knew he had done all he could, the loss weighed heavily on the doctor\u2019s conscience.\u00a0 As they began to speak about it, the conversation turned naturally to guilt and the tools needed for coping with it.\u00a0 That took them to Joe and \u2013 though his eldest son would have decried the need \u2013 Adam.<\/p>\n

He remembered the conversation like it had been written down.<\/p>\n

After asking how Joe was doing and being told that he had remembered more and as a consequence run away, the doctor had leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers together and looked over them at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re worried about Joe, Ben, and concerned how you can meet his needs \u2013 I mean, more than the physica<\/em>l ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d admitted that he was.<\/p>\n

The doctor had risen then and gone to a small cupboard across the room where he palmed a bottle of Brandy and returned to his desk with it and two crystal glasses.\u00a0 Ben listened as the liquid reached the point where the sound of it being poured went silent.\u00a0 The Doc returned the stopper to the bottle, picked his glass up, and downed half of his glass in one swig.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Ben, you have every right to be,\u201d Paul said a heartbeat later. \u201cPeople who experience this sort of trauma go through stages as they begin to cope.\u00a0 It starts with a denial of what happened and a need to separate themselves from life, and quickly moves through rage to melancholia to one of two conclusions \u2013 acceptance or complete denial, which means \u2013 in a way \u2013 that they have buried it and themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stiffened.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean they die \u2013 in some<\/em> way.\u00a0 Oh, their heartbeat may not stop, but they stop living.\u201d The doctor took another sip.\u00a0 \u201cI hate to tell you, Ben, but there have been victims of this kind of attack who, when they find they cannot escape what happened, choose to take their own lives.\u00a0 Worse than that, though, is the individual who withdraws permanently from normal society by becoming abusive themselves, by drinking too much or inciting anger in order to provoke a confrontation, or by completely withdrawing.\u00a0 Often all of these go hand-in-hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

How well he remembered Thomas Slade\u2019s case.\u00a0 He had watched the man disintegrate before his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s a strong boy, Ben,\u201d Paul Martin finished, \u201cbut in the end, he\u2019s only human.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shifted his position on the fence, moving a little to the southeast so he could continue to keep Joe in his line of sight.\u00a0 The boy was working again, lifting a large brush and applying paint to the side of the stable.\u00a0 Paul had gone on then to tell him what signs to watch for \u2013 disturbed sleep, recurrent nightmares or flashbacks, or an inability to remain asleep.\u00a0 Those who had been abused often lost interest in the things they had once found fascinating.\u00a0 Some felt \u2018on guard\u2019, as if they had to watch for constant danger.\u00a0 These were the signs that led to the doctor\u2019s conclusion \u2013 acceptance or denial.<\/p>\n

At some point, in the last two weeks, Joe had evidenced all<\/em> of them.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man straightened up.\u00a0 Putting a hand to his aching back, he stretched toward the sky.\u00a0 He would never put it this way to Joe, but it was like having a small child again.\u00a0 With them completely dependent on you, you found you had to give up your independence.\u00a0 He checked in on Joe at least twice a night, which was wrecking havoc with his daytime energy.\u00a0 Since Hop Sing was gone there were more things to do at home, though Phoebe\u2019s return tonight would lessen that burden by taking most of the responsibility for the ranch house chores off his and Joe\u2019s brothers\u2019 shoulders.\u00a0 The redhead had left the Ponderosa shortly after Joe\u2019s escape.\u00a0 They\u2019d planned on her staying away for a few days and then returning at his request to exchange her position as caregiver and house guest for a paying job as temporary cook and housekeep.\u00a0 He hoped having Phoebe back would be healing for his son.\u00a0 She was a beautiful young lady and, through her own misfortune, had an understanding of what Joe had been through that they lacked.<\/p>\n

She was expected any time.<\/p>\n

Ben came out of his reverie to find Joe watching him.\u00a0 The big brush he held at his side was bleeding brown-red paint on the ground.\u00a0 His son raised a hand and shielded his eyes and then called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Pa!\u00a0 Do you need something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust enjoying the warm day, Joseph.\u00a0 How are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis side\u2019s almost done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot with the building, son, how are you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe dropped the paint brush and came over to the fence.\u00a0 When he stopped, he wiped his brow with the back of his sleeve before saying, \u201cI\u2019m okay, Pa.\u00a0 Really.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was lot packed into that final word.<\/p>\n

Ben remained silent for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cYou know I can\u2019t help but worry, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGuess I can\u2019t stop you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you tired yet?\u00a0 Do you need to rest?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd have Hoss and Adam accuse me of dodging my chores?\u00a0 No thank you!\u201d Joe replied with a tight smile.\u00a0 \u201cReally, I\u2019m fine other than the fact that I\u2019d like to get back to what I do best \u2013 working on the range, busting broncos, and such.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what Doc Martin would say to busting broncos, and so do you,\u201d Ben said, his tone slightly stern.\u00a0 \u201cBut, if you promise to take it easy until the end of the week, we\u2019ll see what we can do about finding you something a little more to your liking on Monday.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s lips curled up and one eye winked.\u00a0 \u201c\u2019Bout time too.\u201d<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man was just about to respond when the sound of horse\u2019s hooves striking the packed earth made them both turn toward the yard.\u00a0 Moments later a lone horse appeared.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

It was Roy Coffee.<\/p>\n

Instantly his youngest\u2019s demeanor changed.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes narrowed and he began to breathe more heavily.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna get back to painting, Pa,\u201d he said, and quickly turned to do so.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Ben said softly, halting him.\u00a0 \u201cI imagine Roy is here to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son turned back, every muscle rigid.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I don\u2019t want to talk to him,\u201d he said between gritted teeth.<\/p>\n

Before Joe could make his escape the Sheriff was at their side.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen.\u00a0 Joe,\u201d he said, nodding to them in turn.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad I found at least one Cartwright at home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Roy?\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes flicked to his son and back to the sheriff.\u00a0 \u201cIs this something to do with the investigation?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t rightly know, Ben.\u00a0 Seem\u2019s as it might, but there\u2019s no way of knowin\u2019 for sure until the young lady can answer questions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe had been looking at the ground.\u00a0 His head came up.\u00a0 \u201cYoung lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat saloon girl that was stayin\u2019 with you, Phoebe Howath.\u00a0 One of the other girls found her in her room this morning beat to within an inch of her life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched the news strike his youngest like a blow.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe?\u201d Joe repeated. \u201cIs she going to be okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc Martin\u2019s with her now.\u00a0 Even beat as she is, she stayed awake long enough to make sure someone come out and told you.\u00a0 I guess you was expecting her?\u201d\u00a0 The tone of Roy\u2019s voice showed that he didn\u2019t exactly understand why.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was going to fill in for Hop Sing for a week or two,\u201d Ben replied, telling half the truth.\u00a0 \u201cWhat happened?\u00a0 Do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sheriff shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cShe ain\u2019t talked much.\u00a0 Probably won\u2019t for a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you gotta let me go to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned to look at his son.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s lean form was straight as a spike awaiting the hammer.\u00a0 \u201cJoe,\u201d he said softly, \u201cno, I don\u2019t<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI…owe her, Pa.\u00a0 I need <\/em>to go.\u201d\u00a0 Joe swallowed hard.\u00a0 \u201cPa, please<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son hadn\u2019t said much about the two weeks that Phoebe had tended him.\u00a0 He probably found the whole thing a little embarrassing.\u00a0 But it was obvious from Joe\u2019s reaction to the news that he had deep feelings for the young woman.\u00a0 Whether they were of a romantic nature or not, he had no idea.<\/p>\n

Ben considered it, weighing the danger against the spark of life in Joe\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cAll right,\u201d he said at last, \u201cbut not alone.\u00a0 Hoss is due back soon.\u00a0 You can go if you take him with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anger crinkled the edges of his son\u2019s green eyes.\u00a0 Since his memory had begun to return anything that seemed to suggest he had any kind of weakness had been a catalyst for disaster.\u00a0 Ben watched Joe draw several steadying breaths before he nodded.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man turned back to the Sheriff.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is the girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s at the Bucket of Blood in her room.\u00a0 Like I said, I left the Doc with her.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ride back before you, Little Joe, and meet you and Hoss on the trail if there\u2019s any change.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Roy.\u201d\u00a0 Ben Cartwright watched the sheriff mount and take off, and then turned back to his son.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, while you\u2019re in town – \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know!\u201d his youngest exploded. \u201cDon\u2019t go <\/em>anywhere by yourself.\u00a0 Don\u2019t look<\/em> at anyone.\u00a0 Don\u2019t talk<\/em> to anyone!\u00a0 Don\u2019t breath!\u201d\u00a0 Joe slammed through the gate and headed for the house.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t live!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSon!\u201d he called after him, but it was too late.\u00a0 Joe was beyond his reach.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m okay, Pa.\u00a0 Really.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

That was another thing that troubled him, his son seemed to have learned how to lie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked over his beer at his little brother.\u00a0 Joe was sitting halfway slunk down the wooden chair, his fingers wrapped around his untouched mug.\u00a0 It was the first time Joe had been to town since the attack and the first time he had returned to the Bucket of Blood.\u00a0 It was also the first time he<\/em> had seen his little brother off of the Ponderosa since they\u2019d taken him home half-dead and it startled him to see the change.\u00a0 Joe had lost weight.\u00a0 His usually tanned skin was pale.\u00a0 There was a pinched look about him, especially around the eyes, and his body was tense as if he was pulled in and hunkered down and spoiling for a fight.<\/p>\n

All the laughter seemed to have gone out of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to go upstairs and see what\u2019s taking so long,\u201d Joe announced as he scooted back his chair and started to rise.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Joe, you know you cain\u2019t <\/em>do that.\u00a0 The Doc\u2019s with Miss Phoebe. You just sit yourself down and take a sip of that beer.\u00a0 It\u2019ll calm you nerves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not nervous!\u201d Joe snapped back.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you ain\u2019t nervous then you\u2019re just plumb mean<\/em> \u2018cause you\u2019ve about took my head off a dozen times now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s jaw tightened.\u00a0 He sat back down.\u00a0 \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019re worried about that gal up there, Joe.\u00a0 We all are.\u00a0 But you just can\u2019t go bustin\u2019 in while the Doc\u2019s with her.\u00a0 You know that.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss shoved the mug closer to him.\u00a0 \u201cYou just take a drink of that while you wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked at the mug and shoved it back toward him.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want any.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 He finished his drink off and then said, \u201cI never knew a blow to the head to take the love of liquor out of man.\u00a0 Someone should \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

The big man stopped.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s tense form had gone rigid.<\/p>\n

He felt like an idiot.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Joe, sorry.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

Joe slammed his hand down on the well-beaten tabletop, upsetting his mug and most of the patrons around them.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m tired of everyone treating me like an unweaned pup and feeling like they have to pussyfoot around me!\u201c<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s temper was flaring too.\u00a0 His fingers gripped the opposite side of the table.\u00a0 \u201cWell\u2019n, if you didn\u2019t act like one, we wouldn\u2019t have to treat you that way!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just get up out of that chair, big brother, and you come for me!\u00a0 I\u2019ve had it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Hoss realized he was acting like a child too.\u00a0 \u201cNow, you know I cain\u2019t do that, little brother.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m well enough to do this!\u201d<\/p>\n

Before he knew it Joe had stepped on his chair and was flying over the table.\u00a0 His brother was little compared to him, but the force of his weight striking hard knocked him down.\u00a0 The people at the tables around them scattered \u2013 but not too<\/em> far.\u00a0 It was too much of an entertainment to watch the Cartwright boys have a go at each other.<\/p>\n

Some of them were probably already placing bets.<\/p>\n

As his brother began to wail on him Hoss steeled himself to take it.\u00a0 He was sure <\/em>enough gonna hurt in the morning, but it seemed to him that Joe needed to let it all out.\u00a0 When he failed to respond, his little brother quieted and looked at him \u2013 and then landed a punch on his chin that drove his head to the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad-blame it!\u201d<\/em> Hoss snorted.\u00a0 \u201cThat there does<\/em> it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Like a monstrous tide the big man rose to his feet.\u00a0 Hoss waited for Joe to throw another punch and then caught his arms and lifted him up and spun him around and pinned him to his chest.\u00a0 Joe began to thrash, doing everything he could to get away.\u00a0 The folks in the saloon who knew them best and had seen them spar since they were little boys, began to laugh affectionately.\u00a0 \u2018Course there were a few others laughing as well who were just plain being cruel.<\/p>\n

When the sound reached Joe\u2019s ears he went quiet as death.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Joe.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get you out of here.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we go up and see if the Doc is done with Miss Phoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe said nothing when he released him, he just stood there swaying.<\/p>\n

Hoss started for the stair.\u00a0 \u201cYou comin\u2019, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was almost as if his brother had to pull himself back from somewhere.\u00a0 Joe blinked and nodded and then followed him like a lost puppy.\u00a0 When they got to the top of the staircase Joe dropped into a chair at the end of the poorly lit hall and stayed there while he went to knock on the door.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin opened it.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Hoss.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to see you.\u00a0 Is Joe \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded to where his brother sat down the hall in the darkness. \u201cJoe insisted on seein\u2019 Miss Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man lowered his voice.\u00a0 \u201cLooks like I\u2019ve got two patients here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow bad is the little gal?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor glanced back into the room.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s bad, but it could have been worse.\u00a0 She\u2019s in a lot of pain.\u00a0 I\u2019ve given her a dose of laudanum.\u00a0 She\u2019ll sleep soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho in Tarnation <\/em>would do such a thing?\u201d he sighed.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin was silent a moment.\u00a0 \u201cDoes it remind you of anything \u2013 or anyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man frowned.\u00a0 Then his eyes shot to this brother.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t thinkin\u2019?<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be honest, Hoss, I don\u2019t know what<\/em> I\u2019m thinking.\u00a0 A bully is a bully.\u00a0 And someone who wants to inflict pain as a method of control probably doesn\u2019t care if it\u2019s a man or a woman he does it to.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor stepped out of the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cTheir injuries are very similar.\u00a0 That said, I don\u2019t know anything for sure.\u00a0 We may know more when Phoebe talks.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s why we\u2019re here.\u00a0 The sheriff done come out and told us.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man thought a minute.\u00a0 \u201cWhat was the ruckus I heard a while back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was just Joe blowin\u2019 off steam.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss took hold of his jaw and worked it from side to side.\u00a0 \u201cLittle brother walloped me good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s some bruising,\u201d the doctor said.\u00a0 \u201cI can give you some ointment for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPshaw.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t nothin\u2019, Doc,\u201d he answered, wincing a bit.\u00a0 \u201cMe and my chin are well acquainted with Joe\u2019s fist.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever you say.\u201d\u00a0 Doc Martin paused.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think your brother is up to seeing Phoebe?\u00a0 She\u2019s awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stewed for a minute.\u00a0 \u201cWell, he wouldn\u2019t take \u2018no\u2019 for an answer when Pa said he shouldn\u2019t come.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go ask him?\u201d\u00a0 The big man grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think little brother will take a swing at you!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He watched as the doctor moved down the hall and stopped in front of Joe.\u00a0 In spite of his brother\u2019s protests, the Doc bent and examined his neck and shoulder.\u00a0 The bruises there were nearly gone.<\/p>\n

Sad to say the ones on Joe\u2019 soul seemed more lasting.<\/p>\n

A moment later Joe brushed past him.\u00a0 His brother paused outside the door to glance at him and then, in little brother fashion, nodded with just a hint of a wink and went inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe paused just inside the door of Phoebe\u2019s room.\u00a0 It was still and dark, lit only by the light spilling in through the window and one small oil lamp on the bedside table. Into the stillness came the sound of someone drawing painful, ragged breaths.\u00a0 He\u2019d been there not that long ago and the sound \u2013 like the trip to town \u2013 brought back a wagonload of painful memories he\u2019d really rather not deal with.<\/p>\n

Still, he couldn\u2019t let Phoebe down.\u00a0 She\u2019d been….<\/p>\n

She meant too much to him.<\/p>\n

Glancing back, Joe saw Hoss and Doc Martin quietly conversing in the hall.\u00a0 He was sure it was about him and that made his temper flare again, but he beat it down.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 All <\/em>that mattered was the woman who had devoted herself to taking care of him who was lying in the bed working hard to breathe.<\/p>\n

It was funny.\u00a0 He\u2019d seen Phoebe first a year or so back, shortly after she began to work the floor at the Bucket.\u00a0 There had been something about her.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t look like the other saloon girls who were pretty but hard as diamonds.\u00a0 Phoebe was pretty all right, with that curly golden-red hair, those sapphire blue eyes and peach pink skin, with her tiny waist, long slender legs and tight little breasts, but there was something more \u2013 something that told him, in spite of the front she put on, that the redhead didn\u2019t belong in a place like this, selling herself to men to bring them a few minutes of pleasure.\u00a0 He\u2019d struck up a conversation with her and she\u2019d flirted and worked him like anyone else, trying to get him to buy her drinks or take her upstairs.\u00a0 It became a practice with them.\u00a0 He\u2019d show up, she\u2019d do the routine, he\u2019d buy her a drink and give her a kiss, and that was that.<\/p>\n

Then, a month or so back, things had changed.\u00a0 She\u2019d grown, well, kind of desperate. That night \u2013 the night it <\/em>happened \u2013 she\u2019d hung on him and pressed into him like the other girls \u2013 like she was on some kind of an edge and if she went over it, she knew she\u2019d never come back.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d wanted to take her away from it all that night.\u00a0 He had to admit it.\u00a0 He loved Phoebe.<\/p>\n

Just not in the way she wanted.<\/p>\n

A little moan told him she was awake.\u00a0 Joe steeled himself before turning to look at her, knowing what he found would be far different from the picture in his mind.\u00a0 As he took her hand she turned her head away, sensing someone was there but, probably, not knowing it was him.\u00a0 Reaching out, he ever so gently caught her chin with his fingers and turned her head back.<\/p>\n

What he saw took his breath away.<\/p>\n

There were deep bruises on her neck and exposed shoulder, just like there had been on his.\u00a0 She\u2019s been struck across the face, hard, and more than one time.\u00a0 One eye was swollen shut and both of her cheeks showed deep bruising, the skin pushing up under her eyes.<\/p>\n

Joe drew a steadying breath as a violent torrent of emotion worked to sweep him away.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, it\u2019s Joe. Joe Cartwright.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to hide from me.\u00a0 There isn\u2019t anything that could make you any less beautiful to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her black eyelashes fluttered against those swollen cheeks.\u00a0 Slowly, Phoebe\u2019s eyes opened, but they were without focus.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t see him.\u00a0 He remembered that too. After the beating he had taken, everything had been a blur.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here.\u201d\u00a0 Joe squeezed her hand as he ran his own across her soft golden-red hair.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna take care of you just like you took care of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe shifted and grew agitated.\u00a0 She muttered something that sound like \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey.\u00a0 What do you mean \u2018no\u2019?\u201d he asked, a smile in his voice that was not reflected on his face.\u00a0 \u201cI figure I owe you at least two weeks of good nursing.\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead moaned again.\u00a0 A single tear ran down her cheek.\u00a0 Again, she said, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

He could tell from where his fingers gripped her wrist that her heart had begun to race.\u00a0 Phoebe moaned another time and her breath became fast and shallow as if, within whatever nightmare world she occupied, she was fighting for her life.<\/p>\n

Fear for<\/em> her made him rise.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go get Doc Martin.\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead\u2019s fingers clutched his, refusing to let go.\u00a0 Joe halted and looked at her.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes opened and shut.\u00a0 Once.\u00a0 Twice.\u00a0 This time when she looked at him, she saw<\/em> him.
\n\u201cJoe….\u201d<\/p>\n

He returned to sitting on the bed.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, it\u2019s me.\u00a0 How are you \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo…time.\u00a0 Get out…of town.\u201d\u00a0 She drew a shuddering breath.\u00a0 \u201cVickery….\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe leaned in.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe.\u00a0 Who\u2019s Vickery?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shifted uneasily.\u00a0 \u201cDid…this….\u201d<\/p>\n

Vickery must be someone from Phoebe\u2019s past.\u00a0 Maybe the rich man she\u2019d mentioned running from.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s rising rage galvanized him.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d kill <\/em>him for what he\u2019d done to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you tell me Vickery\u2019s first name?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her head slowly lolled from one side to the other.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhoebe, you gotta tell me!\u00a0 He\u2019s gotta pay!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung man, what are you doing?\u201d a voice asked.<\/p>\n

Joe pivoted to find Doc Martin standing in the open doorway.\u00a0 He swallowed hard.\u00a0 \u201cHi, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI can imagine what you are feeling, Joe, but now is not the time to press for answers.\u00a0 Phoebe needs her rest, just like you do.\u00a0 Whatever you have to say can wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

He knew the Doc was right.\u00a0 But it was so<\/em> important.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing is more important than her recovery,\u201d the older man finished, as if he had read his mind.\u00a0 \u201cHoss is waiting for you outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019d never seen his little brother\u2019s jaw set so firmly.\u00a0 Sitting on his horse, as they headed back to the Ponderosa, Joe might as well have been an arrow set to the bowstring waiting to fly.\u00a0 He tried talking to him, but Joe\u2019s teeth was gritted so hard there weren\u2019t no room for words.\u00a0 When they got back to the ranch house, Joe took the reins of both their horses and said he\u2019d stable them. When he offered to help him, he said plain and blunt that he wanted to be left alone.<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t have any energy left to argue.<\/p>\n

After entering the house and hanging his hat on the rack by the door, the big man turned to find their father rising from one of the chairs by the fire.\u00a0 He knew what the first question would be.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

He pointed over his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s out in the stable, Pa, bedding down Chubb and Cochise.\u201d\u00a0 The older man\u2019s expression questioned the wisdom of leaving his little brother alone.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I know what you\u2019re gonna say, but sometimes a man just needs a minute to hisself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am concerned that you brother will use that minute to climb right back<\/em> up onto Cochise and ride off hell-bent for leather toward some new trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAnd well he may, Pa.\u00a0 Maybe Joe needs that too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe?\u201d his father sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll remind you of that when you <\/em>have sons and see if you still consider it wisdom.\u201d\u00a0 The older man stretched and headed for the dining room table.\u00a0 A pot of coffee remained on the checked tablecloth.\u00a0 His father felt the outside of the graniteware pot to see if it was still hot and then poured himself a cup.\u00a0 \u201cTell me,\u201d he said after taking a sip, \u201chow is <\/em>Phoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss went to the hearth and took a seat on the edge of it, relishing the warmth.\u00a0 With the night, the air had grown chill again.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s right bad off, Pa, but I talked to the Doc and he thinks she\u2019s gonna be all right.\u00a0 She\u2019s gonna need lookin\u2019 after, though, for some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the girl is well enough we\u2019ll bring her back here.\u00a0 It\u2019s the least we can do to thank her for all she did for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss hung his hands between his knees.\u00a0 \u201cI think that\u2019s why Joe\u2019s out in the stable, Pa.\u00a0 He was right upset when he came out from seein\u2019 her.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t say nary a word on the way home.\u00a0 I think he\u2019s…composin\u2019 hisself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded, thoughtful.\u00a0 He returned to his chair and, after taking a few sips, said, \u201cWas Phoebe able to tell Roy anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s the first one she talked to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a special bond between them now.\u00a0 One that will always remain no matter where life takes them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think he\u2019s sweet on her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 When is he not <\/em>sweet on a girl?\u201d\u00a0 The older man\u2019s laugh was gentle.\u00a0 \u201cI have no idea.\u00a0 Time will tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss paused.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you suppose a kind little gal like her ended up in the Bucket of Blood doing…what she does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure it was a matter of circumstances \u2013 a hard life, missed opportunities, bad choices, or maybe, no choices at all.\u201d\u00a0 His father put his cup down.\u00a0 \u201cThere was a man in her past, an older man that she got involved with.\u00a0 It ended badly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss heard the sound of the door opening behind him.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need to look.\u00a0 The visible relief that flooded through his father\u2019s frame told him who it was.<\/p>\n

The older man rose.\u00a0 \u201cJoe.\u00a0 How are you, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man winced, waiting for the explosion.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice had a ragged edge.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m tired, Pa. \u00a0Really<\/em> tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at him and saw it. \u00a0Joe\u2019s coloring was off.\u00a0 He was all sort of gray like a thing seen through a mist.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s usually straight shoulders were slumped.\u00a0 He had stopped by the sideboard and had one hand on it, propping himself up.<\/p>\n

In two seconds their father was by his side.\u00a0 He caught Joe\u2019s arm and said, \u201cYou\u2019re pushing yourself too hard, son.\u00a0 You know what Paul said, too much too quickly and you will be back in a sick bed.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you don\u2019t want that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked up with that echo of his usual smile, which was all they seemed to get these days.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t <\/em>want that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you had any food?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.<\/p>\n

Turning to him, their father said, \u201cHoss, you take Joe up to bed.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see what Hop Sing can rustle up in the kitchen and come up shortly with a tray.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Pa,\u201d Joe moaned, \u201cyou don\u2019t need to fuss….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not fussing, son,\u201d the older man said softly, \u201cit\u2019s loving.<\/em>\u00a0 Now, can you stand on your own?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was there in an instant. Joe didn\u2019t fight as he took his father\u2019s place and caught his arm.\u00a0 \u201cI got him, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

His little brother scowled.\u00a0 \u201cYou two act like I\u2019m gonna….\u201d\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes and shook himself.\u00a0 Then he slipped under his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are \u2018gonna\u2019<\/em>, little brother if\u2019n you don\u2019t get to bed!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss put his arm around his brother\u2019s waist and directed him toward the stair.\u00a0 When they got to his room he sat Joe on the end of his bed and began to undress him, removing his boots and helping him out of his gray coat.<\/p>\n

As he started to unbutton Joe\u2019s shirt, his brother caught his hand.\u00a0 Shyly, almost sheepishly, he asked him a question.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, will you do something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything, little brother,\u201d he said as he pulled Joe\u2019s arm out of the sleeve.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need you to ask around.\u00a0 See if anybody\u2019s ever heard of a man who goes by the name of Vickery.\u201d<\/p>\n

His other arm was out.\u00a0 \u201cWhat for?\u201d<\/p>\n

One side of Joe\u2019s mouth turned up.\u00a0 \u201cFor me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Crossing the room, Hoss went to retrieve Joe\u2019s nightshirt.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna need a little more than that, Joe.\u00a0 Right now I ain\u2019t so sure you\u2019re thinkin\u2019 straight.\u201d<\/p>\n

His baby brother was silent a moment.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe mentioned him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss closed the drawer and turned back.\u00a0 For just a moment \u2013 looking at his little brother sitting there on the edge of the bed, with his feet dangling and that tousled brown head hanging down to his chest like he\u2019d just been through a whipping \u2013 he saw not the man, but the little boy.\u00a0 The little boy he had a danged hard time saying \u2018no\u2019 too.<\/p>\n

After drawing a breath and letting it out slowly, he crossed back to Joe and held the nightshirt out.\u00a0 \u201cI think I should go to Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, there isn\u2019t anything to go <\/em>to Roy about, at least not yet,\u201d Joe protested.\u00a0 \u201cJust a name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think Vickery\u2019s the man what done beat Phoebe up?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cLike I said, it\u2019s just a name.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man contemplated the request.\u00a0 With another sigh, he said, \u201cAll right.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ask around.\u201d\u00a0 He pointed a finger at his brother\u2019s chest.\u00a0 \u201cBut if\u2019n we find out anything, we go to Roy about it \u2013 deal?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe yawned mightily.\u00a0 He ran a hand through his hair, disturbing those brown curls, and then nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean it, Joe?\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna go off half-cocked?\u201d<\/p>\n

His shirtless brother pitched over onto his pillows.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t going off anywhere….\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss picked up the nightshirt.\u00a0 He caught his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, here, you gotta….\u201d<\/p>\n

Too late.\u00a0 He was already asleep.<\/p>\n

With a shake of his head the big man took hold of the covers that were free and pulled them up and over his brother\u2019s sleeping form.\u00a0 He crossed the room then and found two more and laid them on top of him, making up for the ones that were trapped beneath.\u00a0 Joe was sure a handful \u2013 bullheaded and bound for trouble \u2013 but he was the little brother that he loved and he weren\u2019t going to let no one do what they had done to him and get away with it.<\/p>\n

What was done to him that sure enough looked a powerful <\/em>lot like what was done to Miss Phoebe.<\/p>\n

\u201cVickery, eh?\u00a0 Sure, Joe, I\u2019ll find out where Vickery is.\u201d\u00a0 A determined look on his face, the big man finished, \u201cBut that don\u2019t mean I\u2019m gonna tell you<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TWELVE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man was tall, with dark brown hair turning to silver at the temples and cold, piercing gray eyes.\u00a0 He wore his expensive suit and arrogant attitude like he\u2019d bought them together.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t fifty, but he hadn\u2019t quite made it to sixty, and his life had been spent out-fighting, out-doing, conquering, controlling, and \u2013 with a great amount of satisfaction – destroying<\/em> others. He occupied the shadows of the hotel porch at the moment and stared at the doors of the Virginia City saloon with the apropos name of \u2018The Bucket of Blood\u2019.\u00a0 It was late in the day, near sundown, and it had turned out to be another bitter one, with a slicing wind that carried with it a hint of the winter storms to come.\u00a0 The man\u2019s lip curled as another man raced by, hat held down and collar pulled up against the chill. \u00a0He<\/em> wasn\u2019t wearing a coat.<\/p>\n

Griggs Vickery didn\u2019t feel a thing.<\/p>\n

Vickery shifted and straightened up.\u00a0 He took a step to his right and looked past the post at the saloon doors.\u00a0 Business was picking up. It was the end of the day and what was more, the end of the week, and all of the ranch hands, miners, and cattle drivers in the area would have their pay in their pockets and trouble in mind when they rode into town. He\u2019d watched one particular man go into the establishment about a half an hour earlier.\u00a0 Hoss Cartwright was a big man, with sandy blond hair that was thinning on top, and the muscles of an ox.\u00a0 Vickery sneered.\u00a0 That was one he would like to take on himself.\u00a0 Power over such a man would increase his quota.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d never figure a man like the one he had taken under his wing that went for the \u2018pretty\u2019 boys.<\/p>\n

His friend\u2019s \u2018bent\u2019 was different from his own.\u00a0 His<\/em> tastes ran to boys, while Griggs Vickery was all man and his only interest was in beautiful women.<\/p>\n

One<\/em> beautiful woman in particular.<\/p>\n

Another man passed with his wife.\u00a0 He was a sociable fellow who dipped his hat to acknowledge his presence as they met eye to eye.<\/p>\n

Worms.\u00a0 All of them.\u00a0 Worms.<\/em><\/p>\n

Not even worth a smile.<\/p>\n

Vickery stepped of the hotel porch and headed for The Bucket of Blood.\u00a0 His friend was supposed to meet him there in about an hour.\u00a0 It was not to talk.\u00a0 He<\/em> didn\u2019t talk.\u00a0 He told <\/em>and the other man did exactly what he said or he would beat him and leave him broken like he had that whore and the boy.\u00a0 He would leave them to die in the dust.<\/p>\n

Griggs snorted.\u00a0 Now that<\/em> was what he called being \u2018sociable\u2019.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, as he waited for the other man, he would keep an eye on this big Cartwright fellow and listen in if he talked to anyone in the saloon.\u00a0 There was no knowing what Phoebe would say.\u00a0 He\u2019d told her that night when she\u2019d been laying on the carpet and he had looked down his bloody fist at her, that he would come back and finish the job if she said anything<\/em> to anyone \u2013 and he\u2019d make it long and tortuous if it was the Cartwright kid.\u00a0 Griggs closed his eyes, imagining the two of them together, seeing their bodies entwined up in that room in the bed that should have been his.<\/em><\/p>\n

Vickery laughed, long and low and mean.<\/p>\n

Well, he\u2019d fixed that kid.\u00a0 No woman would want him after word of what happened got around and he\u2019d<\/em> see that it did.<\/p>\n

Oh, yes, he\u2019d see that it did.<\/p>\n

Griggs Vickery halted outside the saloon doors to feed on the noise and clamor within.\u00a0 Deep down inside him there was something that was never satisfied.\u00a0 It fed on chaos, and so chaos was what he created everywhere he went.<\/p>\n

It was time to generate more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had been circulating around the Bucket, twisting arms and asking questions no one seemed to want to answer.\u00a0 He noticed whenever he left, people fell to talking quiet-like behind his back.\u00a0 \u2018Course, that was nothing new.\u00a0 The Cartwrights were always a topic of conversation.\u00a0 Folks either loved them or hated them.\u00a0 The problem was, he was worried that what they was talking about was not the<\/em> Cartwrights, but one particular<\/em> Cartwright.\u00a0 He\u2019d caught a snatch here and there.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure but it seemed someone was talking about Joe, hinting at what had happened, and making it sound like it was his fault.<\/p>\n

If he ever caught one of them at it, he\u2019d break them in two.<\/p>\n

So far no one knew who this man named Vickery was.\u00a0 One of the saloon gals \u2013 one shy of pretty by a few years \u2013 told him she\u2019d heard the name but couldn\u2019t remember where.\u00a0 He\u2019d asked her if it had come from Phoebe and she\u2019d admitted that it might of, but that was all he\u2019d got.\u00a0 He\u2019d waited up for Adam the night before and when their older brother came in, told him about Joe\u2019s request.\u00a0 Adam wasn\u2019t a man to say much, but the way his lips tightened and the steely look that entered his eyes was enough to tell him he felt the same as he did.\u00a0 Once they got back from church and their pa had taken off for a neighbor\u2019s house to do some helpful chores, carting a sullen Little Joe with him, they\u2019d mounted their horses and ridden together to town.<\/p>\n

Sidling up to the bar, the big man ordered a drink. When he had it in hand, Hoss swung around to watch the door.\u00a0 The trade was picking up, bringing in working men of every kind. There were a few too that looked like they might not know what hard work was.\u00a0 One of them was a tall man dressed in a fancy vest and pure white shirt over a pair of black trousers, with brown hair turning gray and a highfaluting attitude that put him in mind of a thoroughbred in a stall of mules.<\/p>\n

Behind the man was Adam.<\/p>\n

When his brother saw him, he inclined his head and then moved through the crowd to his side.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get a table in the back,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds good to me.\u00a0 What\u2019re you drinking?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam \u2018s lips pressed tightly together \u2013 a sure sign of something being up.\u00a0 \u201cDouble whiskey.\u00a0 Straight up.\u201d<\/p>\n

In other words, nitro.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hoss waited on the whiskey and then took it and another beer for himself to the table in the far corner where Adam had settled.\u00a0 His brother had tossed his hat on the table and anchored his spurs on one of the beaten chairs beneath it.\u00a0 His brother said nothing as he sat down.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s eyes were narrowed as he looked out on the flotsam and jetsam floating through the Bucket.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s troubling you, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOther than the general run of humanity?\u201d his older brother snorted as he reached for the whiskey.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho you been talking to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDerelicts.\u00a0 Stable hands.\u00a0 Back alley brawlers.\u201d\u00a0 Adam took a sip.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t kick his foot in reaction to it, but his eyebrows did a dance. \u201cGood <\/em>whiskey.\u00a0 Unusual for this place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come you was talking to the likes of them?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cWhen you\u2019re looking for scum, you talk to scum.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVickery?\u00a0 You find out somethin\u2019 about him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took another savoring sip.\u00a0 \u201cFirst you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cOne of the gals here heard about him, most likely from Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

A dark light entered his brother\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cHow is she?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc says she\u2019ll be all right, but it will take more time than it took with Joe for her to get well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa told me last night he wants her to come back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss took another swig.\u00a0 \u201cHe thinks it will be good for her, and Little Joe too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can see that.\u00a0 It would give Joe someone to think about other than himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd keep him from lookin\u2019 for this here Vickery?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam downed half the whiskey remaining in the glass.\u00a0 \u201cThat too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss couldn\u2019t wait any longer.\u00a0 \u201cSo what did you find out?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s fingers turned the glass on the top of the battered table.\u00a0 \u201cI found out his name is Griggs Vickery and that he\u2019s been seen in Virginia City.\u00a0 I also got a vague description of him \u2013 about sixty, tall, mean looking, with grayish hair.\u00a0 He stabled his horse at the livery two nights back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe night Miss Phoebe was hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh-huh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned back.\u00a0 \u201cYes, and it disturbs me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVickery has been seen in the company of Jude Lowery.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blinked.\u00a0 \u201cJude?\u00a0 You ain\u2019t kiddin\u2019 <\/em>me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man\u2019s sandy eyebrows met in the middle.\u00a0 \u201cYou think this here Griggs Vickery had anything to do with what happened to Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hard to say.\u00a0 Obviously, if Vickery is the one who attacked Phoebe, then he\u2019s interested in women.\u00a0 Still,\u201d Adam emptied the glass, \u201cpower is power and its always been said that men who do these things do it because they want to dominate and control the one they attack.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sound like you heard of this before,\u201d Hoss said with a frown.<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cPa had the sea.\u00a0 I went to college.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMakes me feel a mite stupid, if you know what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou and Joe aren\u2019t stupid, Hoss, you\u2019re…lucky.\u00a0 Living on the Ponderosa, with Pa\u2019s iron grip on it and your lives, has kept you protected from many things.\u00a0 Don\u2019t think you need to join the club.\u201d<\/p>\n

He thought about it a moment.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I guess you\u2019re right.\u00a0 Though me and…Joe, we ain\u2019t so lucky no more.\u201d\u00a0 The big man gestured to one of the girls walking by, asking for another beer.\u00a0 \u201cSo what are we gonna do now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMake sure we find this Vickery before baby brother does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat ain\u2019t gonna be easy.\u00a0 We cain\u2019t watch Joe every minute of the day and night.\u00a0 Once he gets wind that this here man\u2019s been seen in Virginia City \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019ll just have to make certain Joe doesn\u2019t<\/em> get wind of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow we gonna do that?\u00a0 You know Joe.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t gonna stay put less we hog-tie him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

They both laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we need to tell Pa what\u2019s going on and then get Phoebe to the house,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cIt will be best for her and<\/em> Joe.\u00a0 You know little brother, he feels things deeply.\u00a0 He has quite an obligation to that young lady.\u00a0 That should keep him housebound for at least a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if she talks to him and tells him more?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat<\/em> could be a problem.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hope Phoebe\u2019s recovered enough that we can talk to her and ask her to give us some time before she does.\u00a0 Maybe she can tell us<\/em> more instead of Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss thought it over. It could work and probably would<\/em> work if baby brother wasn\u2019t so gosh-darned unpredictable.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if Joe finds out anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s always locking him in his room. \u201c\u00a0 Adam sighed as he stood.\u00a0 \u201cNow come on, let\u2019s go talk to Doc Martin and see if Phoebe is well enough to be moved.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since they were at the back of the Bucket, getting out was like swimming upstream against a strong current.\u00a0 Night had fallen and the place was roaring like a lion on a chain.\u00a0 As Adam was smaller than him, he managed to ford the stream a mite more gracefully.\u00a0 No matter how hard he tried he<\/em> kept jostling elbows and stepping on toes.\u00a0 As they neared the door he downright nearly ran into the tall man in the vest.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Mister,\u201d Hoss apologized while tipping his hat.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo offense meant and none taken,\u201d the man replied, his voice slick as a mirror.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf\u2019n I was you, I\u2019d watch myself in there.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t been no fights yet, and I ain\u2019t never seen a Sunday night pass by without one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for the advice, friend, but no need to worry,\u201d the man replied as he took a step forward.\u00a0 \u201cI can take care of myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that, he was gone.<\/p>\n

As Hoss stepped out the door he took a deep breath of the air.\u00a0 It was scented with grass and pine and dirt and had nothing in it of whiskey, sweat, and smoke.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t understand why anyone would choose to live in a big city surrounded by tall buildings and men, with only a choked vision of the sky, when they could have this. <\/em>Couldn\u2019t understand it at all. But then, that was why he liked to spend time with the animals and often walked alone under the stars.\u00a0 He had a feeling for people, but there was also times when he just had to leave them behind.\u00a0 His pa said he was feeding the coal furnace, building up steam that would carry him through until he had to stop again and breathe in new life.<\/p>\n

He liked that.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, the Doc\u2019s in,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI can see a light in the office.\u00a0 Are you coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man took one more look at the sky, letting it put his troubles into perspective.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn my way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright closed the door on the guest bedroom downstairs with care.\u00a0 Phoebe had arrived, courtesy of Doc Martin and his two older sons and he had just settled her into her room. As he moved away, he mused on the curves life could throw you.\u00a0 When he\u2019d ridden away a few weeks before, how could he have possible conceived of what would happen to his son, to their family?\u00a0 And now, looking at the pitiful wreck of the young woman who had given that son so much, it struck him again.\u00a0 He\u2019d lived a long life and seen a lot of sorrow and somehow had managed to hold onto his faith in man.\u00a0 The terror that had come upon them was testing it.<\/p>\n

If he hadn\u2019t sent Phoebe back to that dreadful place, even for a few days….<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joseph was seated in the Great Room.\u00a0 It was another chilly day. The morning had brought a dusting of snow, and winter was on its way.\u00a0 His son was bundled in a blanket and seated by the fire.\u00a0 It seemed that Joe just couldn\u2019t get warm.\u00a0 He\u2019d been asleep when Adam and Hoss arrived with Phoebe in the back of a hired wagon.\u00a0 A few minutes running about had prepared her room and wakened his youngest.\u00a0 Joe dressed and descended and then stood by while Adam carried the girl in and placed her in her bed.\u00a0 He sent Joe to have Hop Sing prepare the medicine the doctor had prescribed while they got her settled.\u00a0 After that, he had expected Joe to follow him in.<\/p>\n

He hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son?\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is Phoebe doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

He crossed over to him.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go in and see for yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Pa,\u201d Joe said in a small voice.\u00a0 \u201cSoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

His boy was looking at his hands.\u00a0 When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think….\u00a0 Pa, do you think this is because of me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben frowned, surprised by the leap.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Joe.\u00a0 This has to do with Phoebe\u2019s past.\u00a0 Why would you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s something she said once while she was taking care of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sat on the settee table close to his son.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout a man who wanted to own her, who was so jealous he said he\u2019d…destroy her if she looked at any other man.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice was hollow.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if he found out how she feels about me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat she\u2019s in love with me?\u201d\u00a0 He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you in love with her?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son frowned.\u00a0 \u201cRight now, Pa, I don\u2019t know how I feel about much of anything,\u201d Joe answered honestly, his voice ragged.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s times when I feel like taking everything I can get my hands on and breaking it, and other times when I want to scream and never stop.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s the times that…scare me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen is that, Joseph?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I<\/em> want to stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben studied his son.\u00a0 Joe was better, but he had a long way to go.\u00a0 Rising, he went to his side and sat down on the hearth.\u00a0 He placed his hand on his leg and said simply, \u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe drew a shuddering breath.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTry.\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy thought a moment.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s like…well…if I don\u2019t keep on fanning the flames \u2013 keep pushing and fighting and raising Cain<\/em> \u2013 the fire will go out.\u00a0 There\u2019s moments when that darkness looks good, when I want to sink into it and sleep and \u2013 never wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all have times like that, Joseph.\u00a0 It\u2019s part of being human.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t look up.\u00a0 \u201cPa, did you ever think about…letting the fire go out?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben tried to hide the fact that he was scared.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Joe.\u00a0 I never did.\u201d\u00a0 He drew a breath.\u00a0 \u201cHave you?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son nodded, reluctantly.\u00a0 After a second Joe reached under the blanket and into the pocket of his shirt and produced a small bottle.\u00a0 It took Ben a moment to recognize it for what it was.\u00a0 When he did, it took the breath from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe night, Pa, after Adam and I got back from Pointer\u2019s Arch….\u00a0 After I remembered what<\/em>….\u201d\u00a0 Joe drew a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI found it on the stand by the bed.\u00a0 It\u2019s \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

How could he have been so foolish as to overlook it?\u00a0 \u201cThe laudanum Doc Martin left for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glanced at him, his green eyes sad and soulful and shamed.\u00a0 \u201cI thought about drinking all of it, Pa.\u00a0 I really did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you didn\u2019t,\u201d he said immediately.\u00a0 Thank God!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI knew I was feeling sorry for myself and, you know me, Pa, if there\u2019s anything I hate <\/em>it\u2019s someone doing that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how many friends I\u2019ve called cowards for doing so.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s lips curled with chagrin.\u00a0 \u201cI guess I need to apologize to them.\u00a0 I just… Well, I didn\u2019t think there was anything could happen to me that I couldn\u2019t fight my way out of.\u201d<\/p>\n

He squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou can win this fight too, Joseph.\u00a0 I believe in you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know<\/em> so, son.\u00a0 One thing that will help you is to remember that you are not the only one who has suffered.\u201d\u00a0 He gestured toward the guest room.\u00a0 \u201cThat young girl needs your help, just like you needed hers. In a way, I think it\u2019s something only<\/em> you can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe hesitated only a moment.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re right, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go in and see Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

As his son started across the room, Ben called him back.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held his hand out.\u00a0 \u201cThe bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was still holding it.\u00a0 He looked at it and then at him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like to keep it, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 When he saw his frown, he added, \u201cIt\u2019s one victory in all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben went to him and closed his son\u2019s hand over the bottle.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 Yes it, is.\u00a0 And it will lead to others, Joseph.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright had gone to the ranch where Jude Lowery was employed.\u00a0 He was told that Jude was in Virginia City so he had ridden back out, dismounted, and settled in to wait a little ways down the road toward town.\u00a0 As it was cold, he lit a fire and had a pot of steaming coffee ready as well as a pot of stew.<\/p>\n

There was nothing like coffee and the offer of a warm meal to encourage a man riding on a cold night to let down his guard.<\/p>\n

It was about an hour later that Jude appeared, riding slowly toward the ranch.\u00a0 Adam remained seated on the ground, not wanting to appear anxious, and pretended not to notice until the other man was nearly on top of him.<\/p>\n

Affecting amazement, the man in black rose to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cJude Lowery, what are you doing out on a night like this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMust be stupid as you, Adam,\u201d Jude said, shaking his hand.\u00a0 \u201cHow come you\u2019re camped here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa sent me to talk to the man at the ranch south of yours.\u00a0 You know, the one where Bexley works.\u00a0 I got this far and decided it was time to thaw.\u201d\u00a0 He indicated the food and drink.\u00a0 \u201cWould you like to join me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I should be gettin\u2019 back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe just coffee then?\u201d<\/p>\n

The other man shivered and hunched up his shoulders as he dismounted.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I guess so.\u00a0 It sure is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey out here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like we\u2019re in for a harsh winter, that\u2019s for certain,\u201d Adam agreed, holding out a steaming cup.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure does.\u201d\u00a0 Jude took a sip, obviously savoring the warmth sliding down him as he took a seat on a flat-topped rock.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s good.\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 Did you see Beck?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 He\u2019s out on the drive with most of Hansford\u2019s men.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u00a0 I forgot about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since they were close to one another, Adam took a moment to examine the other man.\u00a0 What he found surprised him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSay, what happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lowery looked puzzled.<\/p>\n

Adam pointed toward his own eye.\u00a0 \u201cThe shiner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude reached up.\u00a0 \u201cThat?\u00a0 It\u2019s nothin\u2019.\u00a0 Me and Beck went at it afore he left.\u00a0 We had a little…disagreement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I certainly know all about disagreements between men and how they\u2019re settled,\u201d Adam laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWhat were you doing in town anyway, Jude?\u201d he asked as casually as he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing important.\u00a0 Picking up supplies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss and I were there around supper time.\u00a0 Surprising we didn\u2019t see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a big town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sipped his coffee and let the silence do the talking for him.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long before Jude began to shift uncomfortably.\u00a0 A moment later he asked, \u201cHow\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter.\u201d\u00a0 That was about as non-committal as you could get.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a terrible thing that happened to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean the beating?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude\u2019s eyes shot to his face as if looking to read it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat else<\/em> would I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

Did he sense something in the other man\u2019s tone?<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you could have been talking about the robbery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 I forgot about that.\u00a0 Has the sheriff got any leads on either one?\u201d<\/p>\n

Interesting.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cDo you think they might have been individual crimes committed by, maybe, more than one man?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSay, what is this Adam?\u00a0 Did you come out here to grill me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 Adam reached out and took hold of the pot and poured another cup.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just I heard some rumors in the town.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was hard to tell, but he thought Jude paled.\u00a0 \u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout a man named Griggs Vickery.\u00a0 You ever hear of him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude\u2019s frown deepened. \u201cThat\u2019s a funny sort of name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he\u2019s not a funny sort of guy.\u00a0 Seems he likes to beat people up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think he beat Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to find out.\u201d\u00a0 He took another sip and then cast the rest of the liquid aside.\u00a0 Then he looked straight at the other man.\u00a0 \u201cDo you know anything about it Jude?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u00a0 Why would I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause the man at the livery stable said he\u2019d seen you and Vickery together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude jumped to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t have to listen to this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t, but if you leave \u2013 and leave in a hurry \u2013 I\u2019m going to think that I was right about you and you did<\/em> have something to do with what happened to Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Adam rose to his feet.\u00a0 His tone darkened.\u00a0 \u201cAnd hear me, Jude, if I do \u2013 if I do<\/em> find that out, then there is nothing in Heaven or Hell or anywhere in-between that will keep me from finding you and snapping your neck.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude Lowery\u2019s reaction was telling.\u00a0 He\u2019d seen it happen in animals and in more than a few men.\u00a0 One second they were cowering in a corner, all doe-eyed and frightened, and the next, they\u2019d bared their teeth, ready for a fight.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just go ahead and do that, Cartwright,\u201d Lowery spat. \u201cThen, when you\u2019re dangling from the end of a rope for murder, that high-and-mighty father of yours will realize that money can\u2019t buy everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, it won\u2019t be murder,\u201d Adam responded as cool as the other man was hot.\u00a0 \u201cIt will be justice.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Jude started to snap back, but seemed to think better of it.\u00a0 He drew a breath and let it out like steam released from a pot about to explode.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, Little Joe….\u00a0 Well, I like him a lot.\u00a0 Why would I do anything to hurt him?<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t <\/em>make sense.\u00a0 But then again, nothing that had happened since that night made sense.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor the moment I\u2019ll take you at your word, Jude.\u00a0 But if I find out you\u2019ve lied to me and you do<\/em> know this man Vickery and have any idea of what happened to Joe, I will<\/em> hunt you down.\u00a0 Do you understand me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The other Jude surfaced again, so quickly it startled him.\u00a0 Lowery\u2019s blue eyes grew cold and his lip curled in a sneer.<\/p>\n

\u201cHappy huntin\u2019, Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe jolted awake when he heard his name called.\u00a0 He blinked away the sleep that he didn\u2019t know he was getting and looked around.\u00a0 For a moment he was confused.\u00a0 He thought he was in his bed in his own room. Then, slowly, he recognized the trappings of the guest room and knew he had fallen asleep in the chair beside Phoebe\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Her hand was reaching for him.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe….\u201d<\/p>\n

Leaning forward, he caught her small soft fingers in his own.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here, Phoebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

She blinked and a tear fell.<\/p>\n

He wanted to wipe it away, but was afraid he would hurt her if he did.\u00a0 Her face was swollen just like his had been and, like his, marked with the crimson print of the back of a man\u2019s hand.\u00a0 His pa had told him once that it said in the Bible God put your tears in a bottle they were so precious to Him.\u00a0 Phoebe\u2019s tears were precious.<\/p>\n

Phoebe<\/em> was precious.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d he said, reaching out and gently brushing the golden-red curls back from her forehead instead.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s great to see those pretty blue eye wide open.\u201d<\/p>\n

She raised her other hand. With it, she touched his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re…all right….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d he said, hoping God would know the heart behind the lie.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shifted and winced.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve…been better.\u201d\u00a0 Without moving, she looked around.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m…at the…Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, and we expect you up and raring to cook that grub in a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her lips curled in a tiny smile.\u00a0 \u201cObviously you\u2019ve…never tasted…my cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe laughed but sobered quickly when she moaned again.\u00a0 His grip tightened on her fingers.\u00a0 \u201cI know,\u201d he said softly, \u201cyou know <\/em>that I know.\u00a0 Phoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t look at him.\u00a0 \u201cUm-hm?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I ask you a question, or are you too tired?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes sought his face.\u00a0 He read fear in them.\u00a0 \u201cAbout…Vickery?\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know why, but just the name chilled him.\u00a0 Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf…you promise…\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cPromise what?\u201d<\/p>\n

Another tear slid down her cheek.\u00a0 \u201cNot to go…after him…alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

His jaw tightened.\u00a0 \u201cThen Vickery did<\/em> this to you?\u00a0 Why, Phoebe?\u00a0 Why?<\/em>\u00a0 Was it…\u201d\u00a0 He drew a breath.\u00a0 \u201cWas it because of me?\u201d<\/p>\n

She answered \u2018no\u2019, but he knew she was lying.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is Vickery, Phoebe?\u00a0 The man you told pa and me about before?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA…mistake.\u201d\u00a0 The redhead drew a breath and shuddered.\u00a0 \u201cMade…long ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s why you came here to Virginia City?\u00a0 To get away from him?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded.<\/p>\n

Joe squeezed her hand.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, you gotta tell me more<\/em>.\u00a0 Tell me what he looks like so I can find him and make him pay for what he did to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUs,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n

Joe frowned.\u00a0 \u201cUs?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGriggs wanted…to…send you..a message.\u00a0 Stay…away from…me.\u00a0 Wanted to…ruin you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He felt his face flush red clean up to his ears.\u00a0 \u201cVickery did…that <\/em>to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded and then, shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 No<\/em>….\u00a0 Someone else….\u201d<\/p>\n

He gripped her hand so hard the redhead made a tiny little sound of discomfort.\u00a0 \u201cWho?\u00a0 Phoebe, who?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She turned her face away.\u00a0 \u201cI…don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was the middle of the night.\u00a0 Adam was still out, though Hoss had returned and after checking on their guest and his little brother \u2013 who he said was sound asleep in the chair by Phoebe\u2019s bed \u2013 had gone up to his room.\u00a0 Ben sat for a while reading and then followed his middle son upstairs.\u00a0 The evening\u2019s events had been chilling \u2013 seeing Phoebe as she was, talking to Joe.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t help but kick himself for not taking the bottle of laudanum away from his wounded son and for more than one reason.\u00a0 Of course, he was worried Joe would falter, that in some dark pit where his son found himself its promised release might prove too much of a temptation in spite of what he said.<\/p>\n

It also meant there was no way on God\u2019s earth he was going to find anything coming close<\/em> to a peaceful rest for any time to come.<\/p>\n

The silver-haired man had just lit the oil lamp in his room and reached for a book when he heard a noise downstairs.\u00a0 Pulling on his robe, Ben opened the door and headed for the steps. Most likely it was Adam coming in late.\u00a0 Surprisingly, when he reached the bottom of the steps he found the house completely dark.\u00a0 If it was Adam, surely he would have lit a lamp, or he would have passed him on the stairs as his eldest headed straight for bed.<\/p>\n

Puzzled the older man crossed to the table by the settee and felt for the light.\u00a0 Striking a match, he lit it and turned the thumb wheel so its soft golden glow filled the room.<\/p>\n

Illuminating a still small form on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cPhoebe!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben crossed to the young woman and knelt beside her, lifting her up and into his arms where he cradled her like a child.\u00a0 The redhead\u2019s face shone with tears.<\/p>\n

As her fingers brushed his face, she asked, \u201cBen?\u201d<\/p>\n

He caught them in his own. \u201cYes, Phoebe. What are you doing out of bed?\u00a0 You may have injured yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHad to…tell you.\u00a0 Little Joe….\u201d<\/p>\n

His heart skipped a beat.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shuddered and curled up tightly against him like a lost and frightened child.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s …gone after…Vickery.\u201d<\/p>\n

**This story is rated M for adult situations and themes including sexual assault, strong sexual innuendo , abusive behavior, violence and brutality.\u00a0 It contains mild adult language.\u00a0 WARNING: This story may not be appropriate for younger or more sensitive readers.**<\/p>\n

PART FOUR<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THIRTEEN<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jude Lowery rode like the wind.<\/p>\n

He was headed back to town, back to find Griggs Vickery and warn him that Adam Cartwright knew.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure just what all Adam did<\/em> know, but it was clear that he had made the connection between the two of them and what happened that night at Pointer\u2019s Arch.\u00a0 Before he\u2019d snapped, the words had been there on the edge of his tongue.\u00a0 He\u2019d wanted to make Joe\u2019s brother understand why <\/em>he\u2019d done what he\u2019d done.\u00a0 But Adam was angry and angry men didn\u2019t listen to reason.<\/p>\n

Jude touched his cheek where Vickery\u2019s fist had left its mark.<\/p>\n

He knew all about that.<\/p>\n

They\u2019d been together, him and Griggs, since the near the day his mother and father abandoned him.\u00a0 He\u2019d come home that day after school and found them gone \u2013 no note, no nothing.\u00a0 To this day he didn\u2019t know if they\u2019d been kidnapped, died, or simply run away.\u00a0 Neither of them had wanted a child and they had married only because he was on the way.\u00a0 There had never been a drop of love in their house.<\/p>\n

He hadn\u2019t known about love until Griggs.<\/p>\n

After his parents left he had to eat somehow, and so he had gone to a nearby town to look for work.\u00a0 At ten years old he knew it wasn\u2019t going to be the easiest thing to find, but finally the man at the livery had taken him in and given him work and a warm place in the loft to bed down.\u00a0 One day a man \u2013 tall and good-looking, wearing an expensive suit and a silk top hat set jauntily on his graying brown hair \u2013 came to the stable with a fine horse and asked that extra care be given to it.\u00a0 He\u2019d agreed and taking care of Genghis had become his full-time job.\u00a0 The man who owned the horse was, of course, Griggs Vickery.\u00a0 Griggs would come by every night to see him and bring the horse and<\/em> him food and treats. They talked a lot about their similar childhoods.\u00a0 Griggs had been abandoned as well at a young age, though he\u2019d never told him how or why.\u00a0 They\u2019d both had to choose to survive and it created a kind of bond, more than friendship between them.\u00a0 Soon enough Griggs started to rely on him, to ask him to do things for him.\u00a0 No one had ever<\/em> wanted him before and so he<\/em> wanted nothing more than to please the tall man in the suit.\u00a0 Vickery taught him everything he knew \u2013 most of all, how to befriend a man and make him trust you, and then use cunning and physical force to get what you wanted.<\/p>\n

On the day Griggs Vickery left that town, he went with him.<\/p>\n

They traveled and drifted for a while after that. To this day he had no idea where Griggs\u2019 money came from, only that he had a lot of it.\u00a0 They\u2019d hit a town, settle down for a while, and then move on.\u00a0 Griggs was always getting into fights.\u00a0 He\u2019d come back to their room with his knuckles bloodied and his face twisted from being beaten, with a look in his eyes that shouted that \u2013 no matter how bad he<\/em> looked \u2013 the other guy looked worse<\/em>.\u00a0 Jude always offered to tend the older man\u2019s wounds, knowing that it would bring them closer.<\/p>\n

Yes, Griggs needed him.<\/em><\/p>\n

The blond man drew his mount to a stop.\u00a0 He was about an hour outside of town and had decided to let her rest for a few.\u00a0 Slipping from the animal\u2019s back, Jude tethered the horse to a tree, removed his canteen from the saddle, and then went to sit under another tree to watch the sun rise.<\/p>\n

For the longest time it was just Griggs and him, sort of like father and son.\u00a0 Then, when he was fourteen, things took a turn.\u00a0 He\u2019d realized by that time that he was one of those fellers who didn\u2019t like girls.\u00a0 Griggs always had them and all of them were pretty, but he just didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 There was this young fellow, also worked at the stable, that he\u2019d taken a shine too.\u00a0 They worked side by side and he kept dropping hints until one day the other boy understood what he wanted.\u00a0 There\u2019d been a fight and during it such a rage had risen up in him \u2013 a rage against the losses he had felt, against his lack of a family, against his feelings, which the world called perverted \u2013 against everything and anything,<\/em> that he near beat the boy to death.<\/p>\n

Then, he did other things to him.<\/p>\n

The thing was, after that, for the first time since he had been that boy who opened the door and found his parents gone, he felt in control.\u00a0 He\u2019d talked it over with Griggs who told him \u2013 after what he\u2019d done \u2013 that he\u2019d known that first night in the stable that he had what it \u2018took\u2019. It was all about survival, his friend said.<\/p>\n

A man takes <\/em>what he needs or he dies.<\/p>\n

From then on they traveled from town to town staying put until they wore out their welcome or some rumor of their connection to certain events in the area caused them to move on.\u00a0 It would have been the same here in Virginia City if Griggs hadn\u2019t found out that the woman he wanted \u2013 the redhead that got away \u2013 was working at the Bucket of Blood.<\/p>\n

Jude capped his canteen and went to his horse.\u00a0 He hung it on the saddle horn and then swung up onto the animal\u2019s back.\u00a0 He was sorry now that he had mentioned to Griggs how Phoebe Howath felt about Little Joe Cartwright.\u00a0 He\u2019d watched Joe. The handsomest Cartwright flirted with Phoebe but he never took her upstairs.\u00a0 He wanted Joe to like him, to grow close to him and get to know him.<\/em>\u00a0 Maybe then, he told Griggs, maybe then….<\/p>\n

Vickery called him a fool.<\/p>\n

Griggs Vickery was like a spotter for the army.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t miss anything.\u00a0 He told him he\u2019d never have Joe in that <\/em>way, and the only way he could<\/em> have him was to do what he told him to do.\u00a0 Griggs had the whole thing figured out.\u00a0 He\u2019d lay in wait for Little Joe at Pointer\u2019s Arch and take him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018As soon as you can, Jude,\u2019 he\u2019d said, \u2018you follow.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be waiting.\u201d He\u2019d thought Bexley might have thrown a rock before the wheel by leaving with Joe, but Griggs had taken care of that too.\u00a0 When he got to the Arch a few minutes after Beck and Joe arrived, he found Bexley unconscious on the ground outside the Arch and Joe within with Griggs and his bloody fists standing over him.<\/p>\n

\u2018All yours,\u2019 Vickery had said when he saw him, using that tone that both pleased and angered him.<\/p>\n

Jude Lowery began to ride.<\/p>\n

His nostrils still carried the scent of bay rum and spice, and his fingers the memory of that thick brown hair \u2013 and his heart gratitude for the gift Griggs had given him.<\/p>\n

Jude Lowery put spurs to horse flesh and headed for town.<\/p>\n

It was time again to move on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jude had no sooner disappeared around a cluster of trees than another rider appeared on the road.\u00a0 He walked, leading his mount instead of riding it, and kept to the side where the shadows were thick.\u00a0 The man went to the rock where Lowery had been sitting and checked for signs on the ground.\u00a0 Rising quickly, he returned to his horse and mounted.<\/p>\n

It shouldn\u2019t be too hard to follow him.\u00a0 Even at a distance the sound of the Jude\u2019s horse\u2019s hooves striking the hard earth rang out with the resonance of a church bell on a clear cold night.<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright took a moment to remove the cap of his canteen and take a drink. Then, he took a handful of water and tossed it in his face.\u00a0 The icy chill snapped him to alert.\u00a0 He was tired, physically and emotionally.\u00a0 It had been a long day.<\/p>\n

And it wasn\u2019t over yet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon.\u00a0 Son, you need<\/em> to wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice was urgent and one he should know.\u00a0 Hoss Cartwright wrinkled up his nose and pried one eye open.\u00a0 There was a man standing beside his bed \u2013 a man with near white hair.\u00a0 He should know him too.<\/p>\n

A second later he did. \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, get up and get dressed.\u00a0 We need to ride.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man looked at the window.\u00a0 It was still dark, though the first hint of dawn was coloring the sky a pale pink.\u00a0 If they needed to ride now, that meant the need was big.<\/em>\u00a0 Instantly alert, Hoss threw off his covers and tossed his feet over the side of the bed.\u00a0 After a moment of fighting the sickness that came with being suddenly awakened, he stood. The dawning light spilled in his unshuttered window, striking his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

It was cast in fear.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Pa?\u201d Hoss said as he began to unbutton his nightshirt in preparation for taking it off.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich<\/em> brother?\u201d\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t seen Adam or<\/em> Joe when he\u2019d come in. Still, from his father\u2019s agitation, he had a pretty good idea which one he meant.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam is not home yet, but it\u2019s not your older brother I\u2019m worried about,\u201d the silver-haired man said as he headed for the door.\u00a0 \u201cI just found Phoebe nearly senseless on the floor.\u00a0 She was desperate to tell us.\u00a0 Joseph knows about Griggs Vickery and he\u2019s gone to find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before he went to bed, he\u2019d told his father what he and Adam had learned about Phoebe\u2019s attacker.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow long\u2019s Joe been gone?\u201d Hoss asked as he reached for his trousers.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no way of knowing how long it was before Phoebe stumbled out of bed and I found her.\u00a0 I\u2019m praying it\u2019s not been too<\/em> long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss picked up his shirt and shoved an arm into one sleeve.\u00a0 \u201cAny idea where Joe was headed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing specific.\u00a0 Phoebe thought he would head to town since that\u2019s where Vickery is staying.\u201d\u00a0 His father paused. His tone reflected his face.\u00a0 \u201cShe also said that after he beat her, Vickery threatened to kill Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man reached for his coat, which he had slung over a chair the night before.\u00a0 \u201cFor gosh sakes, Pa, why?\u00a0 What\u2019d Little Joe ever do to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Why\u2019, Hoss?\u00a0 For the same reason Cain rose up and killed Abel.\u00a0 Jealousy.\u201d\u00a0 His father paused. \u201cApparently the initial attack on Joseph was done for the same reason.\u00a0 Vickery wanted to hurt Joe for the attentions he was showing Phoebe, and…ruin Joe\u2019s reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bile rose in his throat. \u201cWas Vickery the one what done…?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Phoebe said he has an accomplice, a man who…likes men.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know who it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn other words,\u201d Hoss said as rage replaced queasiness, \u201c<\/em>whether Vickery did it or not, he\u2019s <\/em>the one <\/em>responsible.\u00a0 Pa, I\u2019m gonna break him in two!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His father crossed to him and placed his hand on his arm.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I feel the same way, but right now we have to concentrate on finding your brother and stopping Joe before he gets himself <\/em>killed.\u00a0 Son, are you listening?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was hard.\u00a0 Hard to bank the rage.\u00a0 Harder still, to think that the man might slip away from them and never<\/em> pay for what he done.\u00a0 Hardest of all to surrender to the truth that, no matter how much he wanted to kill Griggs Vickery \u2013 if he did \u2013 he\u2019d be no better than<\/em> him.<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go saddle the horses,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u00a0 I\u2019ll wake Hop Sing and tell him he\u2019s in charge of Phoebe and the house until we return.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you think we ought to try to find Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man was at the door.\u00a0 He turned back.\u00a0 \u201cYes, we should<\/em>, but there\u2019s no time.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s good at finding trouble, but trouble is even better<\/em> at finding Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ten minutes later they were on their way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam followed Jude Lowery into town and watched him enter the stable.\u00a0 Though he didn\u2019t know how this man who claimed to be his brother\u2019s friend was connected to the one called Vickery, instinct told him he was.\u00a0 When he thought about it, it made sense that the attack on Joe would have been perpetrated by two men instead of one.\u00a0 After all, Bexley Lanahan had been put out of commission at almost the same moment Joe was attacked.\u00a0 Most likely Joe had been restrained by one while the other….<\/p>\n

The man in black stopped and reached out and caught hold of one of the hitching rails to steady himself as a rage rose in him like none he had ever known.\u00a0 A rage so deep and so<\/em> wide, it opened like a chasm before him and dared him to plunge in and lose his way again.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and reached for something beautiful \u2013 the face of his mother as he knew it from the portrait his father had, his pa himself, strong and wise; the first time Marie had placed his baby brother in his arms.\u00a0 There was good in the world and it was stronger than evil.<\/p>\n

It was.<\/em><\/p>\n

While he stood there, building strength to rise above the black anger that threatened to claim him, Lowery left the stable and headed for the hotel.\u00a0 Adam waited until the blond man had entered it and then followed at a safe distance behind.\u00a0 Though he had only a vague idea of what Vickery looked like \u2013 gleaned from the ramblings of the man who operated the livery \u2013 Adam didn\u2019t think he would be hard to spot. He\u2019d look like every physically powerful man he had ever known who preyed on those weaker than himself.\u00a0 He\u2019d look like every bully who had ever tied up or restrained a man and found pleasure in beating him when he couldn\u2019t fight back.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d look like the face of Hell.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled his gun from the holster as he walked, gripping the handle so hard his knuckles went white.\u00a0 The more he thought about these men doing those<\/em> things to his baby brother \u2013 the brother God had given him to teach, to love and<\/em> protect \u2013 the more he had to fight down the instinct to shoot Vickery on sight.\u00a0 Not that the brute didn\u2019t deserve it.\u00a0 He did.\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t the law\u2019s punishment he feared.\u00a0 No, not that.\u00a0 It was just that death was too easy<\/em>.\u00a0 He wanted Vickery to suffer the way all of those whose lives he had sullied and defiled had suffered.<\/p>\n

The way Joe was suffering now.<\/p>\n

Pistol in hand Adam moved along the boardwalk in front of the shops and saloons, hugging the shadows, taking care not to be seen.\u00a0 He was almost to the hotel when a sense of movement in the alley beside it caught his attention.\u00a0 The man in black halted and looked and realized there was a slender young man there\u00a0 One who acted much as he did \u2013 sticking to the shadows and moving furtively.\u00a0 A young man who had stopped dead in his tracks and was staring back at him.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t know how<\/em> he knew, but he did.<\/p>\n

It was Joe.<\/p>\n

The crazy kid was going to get himself killed.<\/p>\n

Adam left the shadows and stepped into the light and opened his mouth to call his brother.\u00a0 As he did, two things happened \u2013 Joe jerked back and disappeared into the dark and someone behind him snorted.\u00a0 Instantly on the alert, Adam pivoted on his heel ready for anything.<\/p>\n

Well, not quite anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

There was no time to duck.\u00a0 One fist struck his chin and another his stomach.<\/p>\n

Folding under the assault, he plunged to the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam woke sometime later to soft hands and a gentle voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u00a0 Son?\u00a0 Can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes, he could hear him.\u00a0 Seeing<\/em> him was another matter.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pried one swollen eyelid open.\u00a0 He reached up and felt his lip.\u00a0 It was swollen too and bleeding. \u201cI take it I found Vickery?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like he done found you<\/em>, big brother,\u201d Hoss said, worry in his voice.<\/p>\n

He thought a moment.\u00a0 \u201cHelp me up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I was going to send Hoss for Doc Martin,\u201d his father said as he felt the older man\u2019s hand encircle his arm and lend him strength to rise.<\/p>\n

He wobbled a bit and blinked, waiting for his head to clear.\u00a0 There was something he needed to remember.\u00a0 Something a fist in the face had driven out.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you two doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father got that look<\/em> \u2013 the one he had worn for nineteen years now.\u00a0 \u201cWe came to find Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle brother done found out about Vickery, Adam,\u201d his brother said.\u00a0 \u201cHe came to town to find him and \u2013\u201c<\/p>\n

Joe! \u00a0Dear Lord!\u00a0 <\/em>How could he have forgotten?\u00a0 Adam tossed a horrified look at his father and before either of them could stop him, ran full tilt across the mostly deserted road.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, wait! Adam!\u201d he heard his father shout.<\/p>\n

He ignored him.\u00a0 Adam plunged into the alley and cast about the shadows as if he could part them like a curtain and see where his brother had gone.\u00a0 His only consolation was that the effort wasn\u2019t rewarded by finding Joe\u2019s battered and bloody corpse.\u00a0 What he did find nearly broke him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s pearl-handled pistol, laying on the ground.\u00a0 Bloodied.<\/p>\n

Adam knelt and picked it up and cradled it against him like it was the child he had failed to save.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright hesitated at the end of the alley.\u00a0 The early morning light penetrating it revealed his son, Adam, kneeling on the ground.\u00a0 As Hoss came to his side and began to move past, the silver-haired man put out a hand to stop him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d the big man asked, a world of worry and confusion contained in that one word.<\/p>\n

The older man\u00a0 glanced at him.\u00a0 \u201cStay here, Hoss, or better yet, go into the hotel and ask if anyone saw Griggs Vickery leave \u2013 and while you\u2019re there, see if you can confirm the description of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son was staring at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see to Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Ben inclined his head toward the hotel.\u00a0 \u201cNow, go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

As he approached his oldest boy, Ben heard a stifled sob.\u00a0 When he placed a hand on his son\u2019s shoulder he felt him tremble.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon?\u201d<\/p>\n

His eldest rose to his feet.\u00a0 He stood before him, head down, like a little boy shamed.\u00a0 Adam drew in a shuddering breath and let it out in a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cI lost him, Pa.\u00a0 I…lost Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fear gripped him, and not only for Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son shifted to reveal what he had in his hands. It was Joe\u2019s gun.\u00a0 There was blood on the handle.\u00a0 Ben took it, looked at it, and then tucked it behind his belt.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s jaw was tight.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019ve got him, Pa.\u00a0 Vickery and Jude, they\u2019ve got him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben blinked.\u00a0 \u201cJude?\u00a0 You mean Jude Lowery?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, Pa.\u00a0 Jude.\u00a0 You were right about him all along.\u201d<\/p>\n

There were mysteries within mysteries here.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, what is this about your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw him, Pa.\u00a0 Right here.\u201d\u00a0 Adam closed his eyes against what his inner eye must be showing him.\u00a0 Joe struck on the back of the head.\u00a0 Joe being beaten and driven into the dirt.\u00a0 Joe being….\u00a0 \u201cI tracked Lowery in from outside of town and watched him go into the hotel.\u00a0 I was following him when I saw someone moving here, in the alley.\u201d\u00a0 His son reached up and touched his chin.\u00a0 \u201cJust about the time I realized it was Joe, someone slugged me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long ago was this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced at the rising sun as he rose to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cHard to say.\u00a0 Half an hour.\u00a0 Maybe forty-five minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure <\/em>it was Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

His son swung around to look at him.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hazel eyes were haunted.\u00a0 \u201cIt was Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben moved past him and began to search the alley for any sign of what had transpired.\u00a0 There had to be something to tell them which way the men who had taken Joe had gone. He\u2019d been at it a minute or so when Adam spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned to look at him.\u00a0 \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face wrinkled with remorse.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa.\u00a0 I should have been able to protect Joe.\u00a0 Now, and two weeks ago.\u201d\u00a0 His son closed his eyes and shuddered again, his whole body expressing pain.\u00a0 \u201cI was so close, Pa, so close<\/em> \u2013 seconds away \u2013 and I failed him.\u201d\u00a0 His eyes opened.\u00a0 \u201cI failed you.\u00a0 I failed the family.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man moved to his son\u2019s side, sensing he needed rescuing nearly as much as Joseph.\u00a0 Ben touched him and looked into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Adam, you failed.\u201d<\/p>\n

He felt his eldest flinch.<\/p>\n

\u201cI<\/em> failed too.\u00a0 I left Joseph alone with Phoebe and she told him about Vickery.\u00a0 I<\/em> sent Joe out into that criminal\u2019s arms.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, yes<\/em>,\u201d he said firmly.\u00a0 \u201cWe all<\/em> fail.\u00a0 You have to let failure be your teacher, not your undertaker.\u00a0 Think of failure as delay, boy, and not defeat.\u201d\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cIt is something we can only avoid by doing nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam remained silent for a moment and then seemed to come back to himself.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d he said with a shy smile.<\/p>\n

He looked so like his mother when he did that.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

They both turned at the sound of Hoss\u2019 voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you find anything out, son?\u201d Ben asked as he and Adam approached him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe clerk at the desk saw Griggs Vickery leave the hotel about an hour back \u2013 with <\/em>Jude Lowery.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re in it together.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know entirely how.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid anyone know where they went?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a boy, Pa.\u00a0 He works in the kitchen.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss paused to swallow over his fear.\u00a0 \u201cThe boy saw the men in the alley slinging another man on a horse. They headed south.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid either of them say where they were going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the thing, Pa.\u00a0 Vickery mentioned the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

A pit opened in his stomach.\u00a0 Griggs Vickery had Joe.<\/p>\n

He wanted Phoebe too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe awoke to the smell of sweat and horsehair.\u00a0 His back ached and his ribs were on fire.\u00a0 As his brain attempted to process what all of that meant, a pair of rough hands gripped him and dragged him face first across a saddle and then deposited him roughly on the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome home, Cartwright,\u201d a man said, his voice laced with irony.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up and saw he was<\/em> home.\u00a0 For a moment the relief he felt at the sight of the familiar split rail house with its broad beams was more palpable than the pain.\u00a0 But only for a moment.\u00a0 All too quickly the reality of his condition screamed a clarion warning.\u00a0 He\u2019d been beaten again, not badly but precisely, and in places meant to kill.<\/p>\n

\u201cJude, get him up!\u201d a brusque voice ordered.<\/p>\n

Seconds later another set of hands gripped him.\u00a0 Whoever it was caught him under the arms, careful to avoid the places that were bruised.\u00a0 Joe turned to confirm what he feared and saw it was <\/em>Jude Lowery \u2013 his friend<\/em>.\u00a0 Jude\u2019s face was expressionless.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks…buddy<\/em>,\u201d Joe breathed. \u201cThanks for…nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude ignored him.\u00a0 He looked up at the man Joe could only assume was Vickery.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you going to do, Griggs?\u201d Jude asked.<\/p>\n

His answer was a sneer and another order. \u201cBring Cartwright inside,\u201d the tall man said as he headed for the door.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll get the girl and then you\u2019ll see<\/em> what I intend to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lowery didn\u2019t move.\u00a0 \u201cGriggs, you said…I could have him.\u00a0 You promised.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up, Joe,\u201d Jude whispered close to his ear.\u00a0 Then he said to Griggs, \u201cHe\u2019s mine<\/em>.\u00a0 Not yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Griggs Vickery strode over to them and loomed above them both.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re<\/em> mine, Lowery.\u00a0 You will always <\/em>be mine.\u00a0 You do what I say or I\u2019ll kill your pretty boy<\/em> right now with my bare hands \u2013 right here<\/em> \u2013 and make you watch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shivered in the man\u2019s shadow.\u00a0 He\u2019d seen a lot in his short life \u2013 killing and stealing, cheating, and more \u2013 but he didn\u2019t think he had ever seen pure<\/em> evil.<\/p>\n

Not until now.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can kill me, Vickery,\u201d Joe snarled, \u201cbut you\u2019ll be killing yourself.\u00a0 Once my Pa and my brothers know you took me, they\u2019ll be here \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

Quicker than thought the villain took him by the collar, ripped him from Lowery\u2019s arms, lifted him off of the ground and thrust him against one of the porch poles.\u00a0 As he struggled to escape, Vickery snarled, \u201cI\u2019m counting on it.\u201d\u00a0 Then, with a twist of his wrist, the tall man threw him \u2013 with force \u2013 against the front door of the house.\u00a0 As he lay there, trying to catch his breath, the brute crouched beside him.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re only alive because old Jude there fancies you.\u00a0 I humored him before, but I tell you, Cartwright, I\u2019m done with that.\u00a0 Tonight, you and that cheating bitch die<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou…you mean Phoebe?\u201d he stammered.<\/p>\n

Vickery\u2019s eyes narrowed and something passed through them \u2013 something beyond the desire to kill.\u00a0 It was a visceral need<\/em>.\u00a0 Griggs Vickery\u2019s face puckered like he\u2019d eaten a lemon.\u00a0 \u201cWhat was it like, pretty boy?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 The brute\u2019s eye flicked to Jude where he stood to the side, watching, saying nothing.\u00a0 \u201cHaving someone use<\/em> you like you used her?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head was ringing.\u00a0 He was having a hard time processing everything.\u00a0 He knew Vickery thought he and Phoebe had known each other, but what was he saying?<\/p>\n

Suddenly everything fell into place.<\/p>\n

\u2018You do what I say or I\u2019ll kill your pretty boy right now….\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

It hadn\u2019t been Vickery.\u00a0 It was Jude.<\/p>\n

Jude had….<\/p>\n

Joe sucked in air and fought back the tears. He would not<\/em> cry in front of Vickery.\u00a0 Not now.\u00a0 Not ever.<\/em><\/p>\n

Griggs Vickery rose to his feet.\u00a0 He turned to Jude and then indicated him with a nod.\u00a0 \u201cYou get Cartwright on his feet, Lowery, and you get him inside or I will kill both<\/em> of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Seconds later Jude was at his side.\u00a0 He put his arms around his waist again and lifted him up.\u00a0 Joe fought to escape him, not wanting him to touch him, not wanting those hands on him again \u2013 not wanting to hear that<\/em> voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d\u00a0 Jude whispered, desperate.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, listen to me.\u00a0 You gotta trust me.\u00a0 I won\u2019t let him kill you.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t<\/em>….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust you?\u201d Joe shot back.\u00a0 \u201cWhy the Hell would I trust you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Lowery\u2019s fingers possessively encircled his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho else do you have, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Their horses thundered down the Virginia City road, Ben Cartwright and his sons. Like a force of nature they descended on their home, certain of their cause, unsure of their success, but united in their desire to save the one they loved. Surely God would not abandon them when their cause was just, when their desire was to see justice overcome injustice.\u00a0 Good triumph over evil.<\/p>\n

To see the angels reign.<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at the sons who rode to either side of him, their faces grim, determined, their hearts bent on rescuing their baby brother.\u00a0 They, like he, felt the call of the ties that bound them \u2013 the call of love and of blood.<\/p>\n

These men \u2013 these animals \u2013 had not only taken Joe, but now they invaded their home, threatening to sully the place where they all found rest with the blood of one of their own.<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright glanced at his eldest who nodded and then at Hoss, who did the same.\u00a0 Digging spurs into horse flesh they urged their mounts on, calling upon the tired animals to give everything they had, to give it all<\/em>, even if it meant their deaths.<\/p>\n

Just as they would do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

FOURTEEN<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The first thing Joe saw as he was dragged into the house was Hop Sing laying on the floor near the kitchen, his hands and feet bound, his mouth gagged.\u00a0 The second was Phoebe.\u00a0 She had been flung on the settee and remained there in a tiny heap, softly crying.\u00a0 Jude deposited him next to her and then went to check upstairs, ordered by Vickery to make sure no one else was at home.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t think anyone was as his pa and brothers\u2019 horses were gone, but he held his breath, waiting, frightened that his recklessness would bring death to someone he loved.<\/p>\n

Phoebe moaned and Joe scooted closer to her, wanting to make physical contact so that \u2013 even in her foggy state \u2013 she would know she was not<\/em> alone. He pressed his body against hers and felt as much as heard her draw in a shuddering breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so…sorry…Joe,\u201d Phoebe whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t give up hope,\u201d he pleaded, his lips pressed against her hair.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s always <\/em>hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vickery was standing by the gun rack, examining his pa\u2019s rifles.\u00a0 \u201cLowery!\u201d he called. \u201cWhat\u2019s taking you so long.\u00a0 Get down here!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude appeared at the top of the staircase.\u00a0 \u201cAll clear up here,\u201d he said as he started down the steps.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you want, Griggs?\u201d<\/p>\n

The tall man in the suit palmed one of the rifles and then moved to the area of the hearth.\u00a0 \u201cI have a present for you, Jude.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Lowery hit the floor, he asked, \u201cWhat present?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Vickery turned toward him.\u00a0 \u201cYou have to come here to get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude advanced a few steps into the room and halted.<\/p>\n

Vickery crooked a finger.<\/p>\n

Like a moth to the flame Jude Lowery moved forward, halting only when the tall man\u2019s muscular frame blocked his way.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to give you what you want,\u201d Vickery said, \u201cCartwright\u2019s life.\u201d\u00a0 As Jude visibly relaxed the bully held out the gun.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s yours to take.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude shook his head and stepped back.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 Not this time, Griggs.\u00a0 Not him<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is he any different from the ones before?\u00a0 From the Fitzgerald boy you fancied?\u00a0 You have to choose, Jude,\u201d the tall man said softly.\u00a0 \u201cCartwright or me.\u00a0 You can\u2019t have both.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you love him<\/em>, Lowery, you\u2019re going to have to kill me.\u201d\u00a0 Vickery\u2019s voice was soft as a snake\u2019s underbelly.\u00a0 \u201cIf you love me<\/em>, then kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was clear a rift was opening between the two men.\u00a0 Joe glanced at Phoebe where she slumped beside him.\u00a0 She was incapable of running even if an opportunity to escape presented itself.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to leave her.\u00a0 Or Hop Sing.\u00a0 Short of running, there was one thing he could try \u2013<\/p>\n

He could try to open the rift as wide as possible.<\/p>\n

\u201cJude!\u201d he called out.\u00a0 As both men turned toward him, he began to plead.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t listen to him.\u00a0 Jude.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him kill me.\u00a0 I want<\/em> to be with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vickery strode over to him and backhanded him so hard his teeth rattled.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up, Cartwright,\u201d the bully ordered as he leaned in and closed his fingers, not around Joe\u2019s throat, but Phoebe\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cYou keep your mouth shut or I will snap her<\/em> neck.\u201d\u00a0 Vickery sneered.\u00a0 \u201cYou know<\/em> I will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe winced as the redhead gasped. \u201cAll right,\u201d he agreed.\u00a0 \u201cLet her go!\u201d<\/p>\n

Vickery barked a laugh and released her.\u00a0 Phoebe made a little sound and then pitched sideways unconscious.\u00a0 Joe caught her and laid her head on the settee arm.\u00a0 It was probably for the best.\u00a0 What he was about to do was dangerous and he didn\u2019t want her to pay if it ended up being a mistake.<\/p>\n

As Vickery stepped away, Joe turned his attention to Jude Lowery who lingered near the stairs.\u00a0 He sought and held the other man\u2019s gaze, not letting go.\u00a0 Joe put everything he could of the pain and fear and helplessness he had felt for the last two weeks into that gaze, hoping it would make Lowery think he was vulnerable, that he couldn\u2019t make it without him \u2013 that he needed him <\/em>to survive.<\/p>\n

That he needed <\/em>him more than Griggs Vickery did.<\/p>\n

A myriad of emotions flashed in Jude\u2019s blue eyes, all of them desperate and most of them misplaced.\u00a0 As Vickery once again offered him the gun, the blond man shook his head and took a step back.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t…make…me…choose<\/em>, Griggs,\u201d he warned, biting off each word.\u00a0 \u201cYou may not like what<\/em> I choose.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vickery\u2019s response was cold as the grave.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have <\/em>no choice, you worm.\u00a0 You\u2019re nothing<\/em> without me, Lowery, and you know it.\u00a0 What are you gonna do?\u00a0 Shack up with pretty boy<\/em> here?\u201d\u00a0 Vickery snorted.\u00a0 \u201cHis pa and brothers would rip you apart for even thinking<\/em> it.\u201d\u00a0 The bully raised his hands and formed them into fists.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve felt these before.\u00a0 Since you want it so bad, I\u2019ll give<\/em> you a choice.\u00a0 You can watch me break him in two or you can kill Cartwright with that,\u201d he indicated the rifle, \u201cand make it quick and merciful.\u00a0 Either way he has to die.\u00a0 He has<\/em> to die before he fingers both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jude\u2019s body shook from head to toe.\u00a0 He hung his head.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, I\u2019ll take him outside \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Vickery said. \u201cYou\u2019ll do it here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stiffened as Griggs Vickery headed his way.\u00a0 The pair had not bound him \u2013 they probably thought he was too weak to attempt an escape.\u00a0 He glanced at Phoebe, knowing the action he was about to take would either doom or save her.\u00a0 Still, there was little else he could do.<\/p>\n

If he was dead, she <\/em>was dead too.<\/p>\n

As Vickery reached the settee Joe rose as if ready to meet his fate.\u00a0 At the last second \u2013 as the villain reached for him \u2013 he appeared to stumble and then, with everything he had left in him, he struck the tall man below his center of gravity, throwing him off balance.\u00a0 Vickery tumbled over the settee table.\u00a0 He struck his head on the edge of hearth and fell to the floor dazed.<\/p>\n

Joe shot a look at Jude who appeared to be just as stunned and then bolted for the front door.\u00a0 With a quick prayer, asking for protection for Phoebe, he threw it open and stumbled out into the rising light.\u00a0 Where should he go?\u00a0 Where in all of the Ponderosa would he be safe?<\/p>\n

Where \u2013<\/p>\n

A bellow sounded from the house.\u00a0 Vickery was awake.<\/p>\n

There was nothing to do but run.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The light was breaking in the east.\u00a0 They were almost there.\u00a0 Almost<\/em>.\u00a0 The Ponderosa lay no more than ten minutes before them.\u00a0 This ride to his ranch had seemed to Ben the longest in his life.\u00a0 What would they find when they arrived?\u00a0 Could he muster the courage to open the door?\u00a0 Images of his youngest laying on the floor in a pool of blood, his neck twisted, his body broken and the life gone from his slender form, swam before his waking eyes.<\/p>\n

If the worst happened \u2013 could he ever<\/em> walk through that door again?<\/p>\n

The three of them had decided to split when they reached the ranch and to approach it from different sides.\u00a0 The plan was to enter the house from the back, front, and side, and to close the net, hopefully trapping Vickery and Lowery within. Since men like Vickery were, in fact, cowards, and usually cared only for their own skin, it was his hope that they would surrender.\u00a0 If not \u2013 if it came<\/em> to it \u2013 he was ready to kill.\u00a0 His home and his son were being threatened.\u00a0 It would be self-defense, and if a jury was called and decided otherwise, it would be worth it.\u00a0 He would go to prison.<\/p>\n

His son would be alive.<\/p>\n

As the ranch appeared through the overhanging branches, Adam reached out and caught Buck\u2019s reins and drew the animal to a halt.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d he said in a terse whisper.\u00a0 \u201cPa!\u00a0 Joe!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben looked just in time to see his youngest son turn a corner and disappear.<\/p>\n

Griggs Vickery came roaring out of the house directly behind him.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s gun was out and aimed in a half-second, but it was too late.<\/p>\n

Both men vanished into the trees.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard Griggs Vickery beating the brush behind him, bellowing anger and hate.\u00a0 There was no doubt in his mind, if the bully caught him he was dead.\u00a0 He was smaller than Vickery and probably quicker on his feet, but he was also beyond exhausted and breathing hard and it wouldn\u2019t be very long before he stumbled or did something stupid and that would be it.\u00a0 Glancing behind, he saw a tree branch bend and then snap up.\u00a0 He was only seconds ahead of the other man.\u00a0 He had to find a place to hide.\u00a0 Some sort of bolt hole where he could disappear and then maybe Vickery would pass him by.<\/p>\n

Vickery and <\/em>Jude.<\/p>\n

It still tore at him, the betrayal, but he didn\u2019t really have time to process it.\u00a0 All he could do now was put one foot in front of the other and push past endurance to keep running and running so his heart could beat one more minute, so he could draw another breath.\u00a0 So \u2013<\/p>\n

A shot rang out, the bullet striking a tree near his head.<\/p>\n

Vickery had a gun.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three of them were off their horses. As Adam sped off into the trees Ben sent Hoss into the house.\u00a0 His son returned less than a minute later to tell him that he had found Hop Sing and left him to look after Phoebe who was alive but in bad shape.<\/p>\n

Two heartbeats later they were running after Adam and Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man Adam followed crashed through the trees like an enraged bull, leaving a trail a greenhorn could follow, obviously beyond caring whether or not he was caught \u2013 which made him all the more dangerous.\u00a0 Here he was again \u2013 a split second behind \u2013 a split second that could mean the difference between life and death for Joe.\u00a0 If Vickery caught his brother before he got there, the brute could snap his neck in a heartbeat.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t fail this time \u2013 he couldn\u2019t risk losing that second. <\/em><\/p>\n

Couldn\u2019t risk losing Joe.<\/p>\n

Pushing his weary body even harder Adam put on a burst of speed, outdistancing his father and brother even as he heard them call his name.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe halted \u2013 if for only a second \u2013 at the sound of his pa\u2019s voice.\u00a0 He heard it ring out through the trees, calling for Adam.\u00a0 They were here!\u00a0 Pa and his brothers were here!<\/em>\u00a0 They\u2019d come to rescue him, to bring him to safety, to put an end to the threat of Griggs Vickery and Jude Lowery, and to the horror of what had happened that night two weeks before.<\/p>\n

As another shot rang out, striking the ground near his feet, his pa shouted again.\u00a0 Hesitant to turn away from that beloved voice Joe began to run, moving backwards for the first few feet and then turning \u2013<\/p>\n

Just in time to feel his foot slip into a badger hole.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam ran for all he was worth.\u00a0 He\u2019d almost caught up to Vickery.\u00a0 In fact the tail of the villain\u2019s expensive suit coat had been within arm\u2019s length when the tall man let out a whoop of triumph and bolted forward faster than he would have thought possible.\u00a0 Adam stumbled, but righted himself and pressed forward, his heart thundering in his chest, pounding against the bone, working to drive the breath and sense out of him, to make him fall \u2013<\/p>\n

To make him fail <\/em>Joe again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt Vickery grip his collar and haul him up.\u00a0 He cried out as his ankle twisted in the hole,\u00a0 the bones breaking.\u00a0 He heard his father shout again in the distance, still searching for Adam.\u00a0 So close, Joe thought as Vickery\u2019s hands closed on his throat, so close….<\/p>\n

And yet, forever away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright was out of breath but he kept running.\u00a0 Sweat streamed down his face and the face of the son who ran beside him.\u00a0 This was one of those moments where life hung by a fragile thread and death loomed above holding a sword.\u00a0 He called out to Adam but his eldest son ignored him.\u00a0 He could only hope that meant he had his brother in sight.<\/p>\n

As he ran, the older man prayed to the God he loved, \u2018Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; let your good Spirit lead me on level ground.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Let your good Spirit lead me to my son.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam halted.\u00a0 Griggs Vickery was leaning over his brother, a rifle in one hand and the other closing on Joe\u2019s throat.\u00a0 His brother wasn\u2019t struggling and that opened a pit in his stomach from which a blackness rolled that threatened to take him with it.<\/p>\n

\u201cVickery!\u201d he shouted as he pointed his gun at him.<\/p>\n

The bastard released Joe and let him fall to the ground.\u00a0 Vickery straightened up then and turned toward him, a sneer lifting his lip.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet away from Joe!\u00a0 Now!\u201d Adam ordered.<\/p>\n

Vickery spread his arms wide.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, Cartwright. \u00a0Murder<\/em> me and I\u2019ll see you in Hell!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright broke through the trees with Hoss at his side.\u00a0 They saw Adam, and then Joe lying motionless on the ground.\u00a0 Griggs Vickery was standing between them, rifle in hand, baiting Adam to shoot.<\/p>\n

The older man looked at his son.\u00a0 Hoss nodded.<\/p>\n

Three bullets struck the fiend at the same time.<\/p>\n

They never knew which one killed him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pushed the dead man aside and knelt beside his brother.\u00a0 He lacked the courage to feel for a pulse.\u00a0 Joe was so pale, so…still.<\/em>\u00a0 The marks from Vickery\u2019s fingers were growing dark on his brother\u2019s throat.\u00a0 He glanced at his father and other brother who had come to stand silently at his side.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

The older man did not hesitate but came and knelt beside him.\u00a0 He reached out and placed his hand on Joe\u2019s chest and then turned to him with a weak smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s alive, Adam.\u00a0 You saved him.\u00a0 You saved<\/em> Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ranch house was not far away, but the walk through the woods bearing Joe\u2019s battered form back was one of the longest any of them had ever taken.\u00a0 Hop Sing was waiting for them as they entered.\u00a0 Efficient as ever, the Chinese man had returned Phoebe to her bed and then roused one of the hands and sent him to town for the doctor.\u00a0 They bore Joe up to his bed and tucked him in tight, leaving an exhausted Adam to keep watch.\u00a0 Then he and Hoss descended the stairs.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t over.<\/p>\n

There was still the matter of Jude Lowery.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing told them upon their arrival at the house that, upon waking, Vickery had ordered Jude to go with him and when he refused, had used the butt of the rifle to strike Lowery and send him to the ground.\u00a0 The blond man had lain there senseless for some time and then slowly climbed to his feet.\u00a0 He\u2019d gone to the sofa to check on Phoebe and then, to their cook\u2019s surprise, had untied him before stumbling out the door.<\/p>\n

Ben wondered now if Lowery had followed \u2013 if he had been watching when Vickery tried to kill his son and was killed himself instead. Was Jude still in the woods beyond the house?\u00a0 Or had he\u00a0 run away, fearing he<\/em> would be next?<\/p>\n

The answer to the question was none of the above.\u00a0 When he and Hoss found the blond man a few hours later, tucked in the crook of a tumble of rocks only a few hundred feet out from the house, Jude was dead.<\/p>\n

He had blown his brains out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Strong hands gripped his shoulders as Joe coughed and pitched over to one side.\u00a0 He started to panic, but then he recognized the room he was in.\u00a0 He also recognized the touch.\u00a0 He had known it for nineteen years now \u2013 it and its assurances and strength.<\/p>\n

Forcing a smile, his throat raw and rough, he said, \u201cHey, big…brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, Joe, take a drink.\u201d\u00a0 Adam lifted him up and held the cup to his lips and then let him down gently so his sore body rested against the pillows on his bed.\u00a0 \u201cDoc Martin says you shouldn\u2019t talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

He blinked back pain-induced tears.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cVickery?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGot what he deserved,\u201d Adam replied, his jaw tight.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam snorted.\u00a0 \u201cAll of us, Joe.\u00a0 All<\/em> of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hated to be treated like a little kid but there were times, like this, when being able to trust to others to keep him safe gave him a reason<\/em> for being the youngest.\u00a0 Sleep was beckoning \u2013 pulling <\/em>at him really \u2013 but he fought it off.<\/p>\n

Joe drew a breath, almost afraid to ask.\u00a0 \u201cJude?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cDead too.\u00a0 Now, Joe, come on.\u00a0 Settle down.\u00a0 You need to rest.\u00a0 Doctor\u2019s orders.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood.\u00a0 He lifted his brother up gently again and repositioned his pillow. As he did, Joe reached out and caught his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

The black-haired man stared at him for a moment and then did something he hadn\u2019t done since Joe was a little boy.\u00a0 He bent down and brushed his brother\u2019s forehead with his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank God, Joe.\u00a0 Thank God<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben closed the door behind him, leaving Doctor Martin with Phoebe.\u00a0 The girl had passed a rough night, but appeared to be mending and Paul thought she would make it.\u00a0 Joseph didn\u2019t appear to be in any danger, though the physician said it was close.\u00a0 The blows Griggs Vickery had given him were meant to do damage to his internal organs, but for some reason had failed to do so.\u00a0 The older man ran a hand across his face and glanced up.\u00a0 \u201cFor some reason,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

God had something yet for his son to do.<\/p>\n

Crossing to the big blue chair Ben dropped into it, weary beyond expressing in words.\u00a0 As he did Hoss came out of the kitchen carrying a steaming pot of coffee.\u00a0 He looked at him and asked, \u201cYou want a cup, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben considered it and then nodded.\u00a0 After returning to the house with Joe there had been so much to do that none of them had gone to bed.\u00a0 They had caught a few hours sleep here and there in the chairs by the fire, but for the most part had been up twenty-four hours.\u00a0 Once Paul finished with Phoebe they would go upstairs to rest.\u00a0 He supposed coffee was not the smartest course considering.\u00a0 It just sounded good.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, son,\u201d he said as he accepted a cup.<\/p>\n

Hoss filled his own cup and, after placing the pot on the side table, sat down on the edge of the big one before the fire.\u00a0 After a second he sighed and shook his head. \u201cFor some reason, I cain\u2019t stop thinkin\u2019 about Jude Lowery, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took a sip and then nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI feel the same way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d he go and kill <\/em>hisself for?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed.\u00a0 It was hard to give even an ounce of humanity to a man who did what Jude Lowery had done, and yet, he was<\/em> a man.\u00a0 \u201cIt sounds like Jude was completely dominated by Vickery from the time he was a young impressionable boy, and though the choices Lowery made were his \u2013 and were entirely<\/em> wrong \u2013 one has to wonder how much choice<\/em> he had in making them.\u201d\u00a0 At Hoss\u2019 look, he added, \u201cI\u2019m not making excuses for the horrible thing Jude did.\u00a0 There are no excuses.\u00a0 But there are reasons.\u00a0 Each man fights the demons within.\u00a0 Jude\u2019s won.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean he couldn\u2019t live with what he done?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApparently Joe was not the first victim.\u00a0 Other than the Fitzgerald boy, Roy thinks Lowery and Vickery had repeated this pattern at least a half-dozen times, settling into a new town, choosing their victims. attacking them for power and…sick pleasure, and then moving on.\u201d\u00a0 Ben glanced at the guest room.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe proved to be Vickery\u2019s undoing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe loved her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly as a man of that nature could.\u00a0 Griggs Vickery had no love of a woman and her gentle spirit and beauty, no desire to walk and live by her side, no will<\/em> to give to her more than he would take.\u00a0 Vickery wanted only to dominate, to possess, and to control.\u00a0 When he found out Phoebe loved<\/em> Joe instead of him, he couldn\u2019t take it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben drew in a breath.\u00a0 \u201cHe decided he had to eliminate his rival and did it in the most despicable manner.\u00a0 Vickery didn\u2019t want Joseph dead in the beginning, just humiliated and destroyed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat changed \u2018cause we was on to him, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 Once Vickery realized that his part in the attack on Joe was known, he decided he had to eliminate anyone who could identify him.\u00a0 Phoebe knew him.\u00a0 Joe knew him from the attack.\u00a0 They both had to die.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss paused.\u00a0 \u201cIt sure was close, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo<\/em> close,\u201d the older man agreed.\u00a0 \u201cBut it\u2019s done now.\u00a0 Your brother is alive and safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cIs it, Pa?\u00a0 Is it \u2018done\u2019?\u00a0 What happened to Joe, well, it ain\u2019t a thing a man can easily accept.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes, thinking of Thomas Slade.\u00a0 Thomas was introspective and unlike Joe, had a cautious personality.\u00a0 The naval officer rarely took risks but stood on solid ground and, when that ground was shaken, had not been able to survive.\u00a0 \u201cYour brother, Hoss, wounds easily and feels things deeply, but he has a resiliency I have seldom seen in a man before.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s strong and, most of all, fearless.\u00a0 Your brother looks the crouching mountain lion in the eye and then counts to ten before he shoots.\u201d\u00a0 Ben shook his head with affection.\u00a0 \u201cIf anyone can survive this, it\u2019s Joe.\u00a0 And you have to remember, he has us.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Adam, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ah, yes.\u00a0 What about Adam?<\/p>\n

Adam was like Joe in that he felt things deeply, but he had a harder shell.\u00a0 The problem with that was, while it kept his oldest from being easily wounded on the outside, it also keep the wounds inside<\/em>.\u00a0 \u201cAdam will be all right, but we\u2019ll have to look for ways to help him.\u00a0 He won\u2019t ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment a sound on the stair attracted his attention and he turned to find the latest topic of their discussion descending.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Joe?\u201d Hoss asked, rising.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that fresh coffee?\u201d Adam asked, pointing toward the pot.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure as shootin\u2019.\u00a0 You want a cup?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled as he took a seat.\u00a0 \u201cMore than anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you should go to bed,\u201d the older man advised.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Pa, soon as Doc Martin fills us in on both Phoebe and Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is<\/em> your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSleeping.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused.\u00a0 \u201cJoe asked about Jude Lowery.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father nodded.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did you tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat he was dead,\u201d his eldest said bluntly.<\/p>\n

As Hoss handed the cup to his brother, Ben said, \u201cYou have to let go of the hate, son.\u00a0 It can\u2019t hurt Jude \u2013 he\u2019s beyond it now \u2013 but it will <\/em>eat you up inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put the cup down and leaned forward, dropping his hands between his knees.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Pa, it\u2019s just….\u201d\u00a0 He hesitated and then said, \u201cI can\u2019t say I know for certain, but I believe I know what…this would do to me.\u00a0 When I think of Joe going through the rest of his life wondering, maybe doubting himself….\u201d\u00a0 He watched as his son\u2019s fingers balled into fists and he began to shake.\u00a0 \u201cNo one \u2013 no man <\/em>has a right to do that to another man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben walked over to his eldest and laid a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, no man can see into another man\u2019s soul.\u00a0 All we can do for Joe is be here for him when he needs us \u2013 and son, he needs us<\/em> whole.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s hand fell on his.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Pa.\u00a0 I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment the door to Phoebe\u2019s room opened and Doc Martin stepped out.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, come on, son.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk to Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sun set and he went to bed, but he didn\u2019t stay there long.\u00a0 Awakened by a nightmare of loss, Ben Cartwright rose from his bed, put on his robe, and headed for the stairs.\u00a0 He was just about to descend when a sound from the other end of the hall drew him that way.\u00a0 Moving quietly, he followed it to the door of his youngest\u2019s room.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t be certain, but he thought Joseph was crying.<\/p>\n

Opening the door a crack, he called Joe\u2019s name softly, giving his son time to compose himself before he entered the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome in, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben entered and went to him.\u00a0 After brushing his son\u2019s battered forehead with his lips, he sat in the chair beside him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was halfway up the pillows, not quite sitting, but not laying down.\u00a0 His covers had fallen away exposing a chest covered with fresh bruises.\u00a0 The imprint of fingers on the tender flesh of his throat were there again as they had been at the beginning, a reminder of the nature of the men who had attacked him and their crime.<\/p>\n

His son shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not sure<\/em> how I am, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sat back in the chair.\u00a0 \u201cCan you tell me about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe pursed his lips.\u00a0 A second later he shook his head.\u00a0 After that, they sat in silence until the boy turned to look at him.\u00a0 His son\u2019s voice was rough, ragged from the attack and the emotion behind the age-old question he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do things like this happen, Pa?\u00a0 I thought the Good Book said all things work together for those who love God.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben paused before answering.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not sure I have an answer to that, Joe.\u00a0 Sometimes the only answer is not <\/em>to know.\u00a0 When you know your Father in Heaven is all powerful and all seeing, then you know that \u2013 no matter what happens \u2013 it is<\/em> within His will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed.\u00a0 \u201cHow can this<\/em> be within His will?\u201d he asked in a small voice.<\/p>\n

The older man leaned forward and covered his son\u2019s hand with his own.\u00a0 \u201cI asked the same questions when your mother died, leaving me alone to rear three boys.\u00a0 Had I done something wrong? Was God punishing me?\u00a0 How could the death of such a wonderful woman at such a young age be His will?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Ben paused.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, son, I never found the answers, but what I did<\/em> find was peace in the knowledge that God was in control.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked down.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t feel at peace, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 His jaw tightened.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m..angry.\u00a0 At God.\u00a0 And at….\u201d\u00a0 he drew a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cJude.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, look at me.\u201d\u00a0 He waited until his son obeyed.\u00a0 \u201cGod can take your anger.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t a sin to be angry, it isn\u2019t a sin to doubt, it\u2019s only a sin when you shut God out.\u00a0 He\u2019s<\/em> your father too,\u201d he said softly, \u201cand He too had a hurting child.\u00a0 His child died.\u00a0 He saved mine.\u201d\u00a0 Ben fought back tears.\u00a0 \u201cYou go ahead and be angry.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do enough praising for the both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was silent a moment.\u00a0 \u201cAdam said Jude was dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s green eyes shot to his face.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe got what he deserved.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s what we all deserve, Joe,\u201d he said at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u00a0 What?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t get me wrong,\u201d Ben continued as anger infused his words and he felt once again his finger on the trigger and saw the look in Griggs Vickery\u2019s eyes when he knew he was going to die.\u00a0 \u201cVickery and Lowery deserved to pay for what they did.\u00a0 But while Vickery was pure evil, I think Jude lost his way.\u00a0 You said he didn\u2019t want to kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s because he wanted me<\/em>, Pa!\u201d Joe snapped.\u00a0 \u201cLike a girl!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, don\u2019t let Jude\u2019s demons become your own,\u201d he said evenly, concerned for the first time since their talk had begun.\u00a0 \u201cWhat Jude wanted has nothing<\/em> to do with what you are.\u00a0 He had to be sick or he wouldn\u2019t have done what he did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean what he did to me?\u201d his son asked, his voice tense.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean what Jude did to himself.\u00a0 Joseph, Jude Lowery killed himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe…what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the end, he couldn\u2019t live with what he had done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s lower lip trembled like it had when he was a little boy.\u00a0 When he spoke, a bit of the fire had gone out of his tone.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I <\/em>have to live with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben left the chair and sat at his son\u2019s side on the bed.\u00a0 \u201cYes, you do, and it will make you stronger.\u201d\u00a0 At Joe\u2019s look he went on, \u201cJoseph, no matter how much falls on us, we have to keep plowing ahead.\u00a0 That\u2019s the only way to keep the road clear.\u00a0 Yes, you\u2019ll carry scars from this \u2013 we all <\/em>will \u2013 but scars are not signs of weakness, they are the signs of survival and of endurance<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sniffed and the tears began to fall.<\/p>\n

Ben gathered his boy into his arms and waited for the calm after the storm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

EPILOGUE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was early morning and outside the windows of the Ponderosa ranch house snow was falling.\u00a0 It blanketed the land, hiding the scars of a troublesome autumn and washing everything white and new.\u00a0 Joe Cartwright had awakened early that morning and was ready for the day to begin.\u00a0 Though the blows inflicted by Griggs Vickery had not proved fatal, they had been serious.\u00a0 His recovery had been a long one.\u00a0 This was the first day he was to be allowed out of the house and he was raring to go in spite of the fact that he was still sore and had to use a crutch.<\/p>\n

It was also the day before Christmas.<\/p>\n

As he slowly descended the stairs to the scent of coffee and flapjacks, Joe was surprised to find he was not the only one too excited to remain asleep.\u00a0 Phoebe Howath was curled up in one corner of the settee.\u00a0 She had a throw over her lap and a book in her hand.\u00a0 The volume lay open, but she wasn\u2019t reading.\u00a0 The redhead\u2019s eyes were focused elsewhere.<\/p>\n

On that soft silent fall of snow.<\/p>\n

When she heard the wooden crutch strike the floor Phoebe turned and looked his way.\u00a0 A smile lit her striking face when she saw it was him.\u00a0 The redhead held out a hand to ask, \u2018Sit with me?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

He answered her question with a smile.<\/p>\n

When Joe reached the settee he leaned down and planted a chaste kiss on Phoebe\u2019s head before dropping onto the cushion beside her.\u00a0 \u201cYou look beautiful!\u201d he said as he anchored the crutch on the sofa arm, and meant it.\u00a0 She was dressed in the deep sapphire blue dress his father had bought her to replace the old one that had been ruined.\u00a0 Pa had given it to her early so she would have it to wear for the party tonight.\u00a0 Their friends were coming over to celebrate the advent of Jesus\u2019 birth with them, but the party also served another purpose \u2013 to say \u2018goodbye\u2019.<\/p>\n

It was Phoebe\u2019s last night at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

The redhead blushed at the compliment.\u00a0 It was really cute.\u00a0 It seemed Phoebe had put the Bucket of Blood and the life it entailed behind, and chosen to claim the life that had been intended for her.\u00a0 When her mother heard what had happened, she had come to the Ponderosa and for the last two weeks had tended her child.\u00a0 The older woman, whose name was Hebe, had left that morning to fetch her younger children so they could enjoy the night\u2019s festivities and then, as a family, go home.\u00a0 As Joe looked at Phoebe, sitting there, with the morning light touching her golden-red hair and setting it on fire, he wondered how he was going to stand by and let her leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling, Little Joe?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

It had been almost a month since Griggs Vickery had nearly killed them both.\u00a0 Like his pa said there were scars, but they were fading.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike I could wrestle a grizzly,\u201d he boasted.<\/p>\n

Phoebe laughed.\u00a0 She reached up to touch one of the physical scars Vickery\u2019s last beating had left \u2013 a little one to the left side of his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cYou look like you tackled one already.\u201d\u00a0 Phoebe drew a breath and let it out in a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cAnd all because of me.\u201d\u00a0 Her face wrinkled with pain.\u00a0 \u201cEverything<\/em> happened because of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took her hand and pressed it between his own.\u00a0 \u201cPhoebe, no.\u00a0 Don\u2019t do that. \u00a0Don\u2019t<\/em> take it all on yourself.\u201d\u00a0 He drew his own steadying breath.\u00a0 \u201cLike Pa says, everything happens for a reason.\u00a0 Look, you, your ma and sister and brother are a family again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut at what<\/em> expense?\u201d she sniffed.<\/p>\n

Joe squeezed her fingers.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay, Phoebe.\u00a0 You just you worry about you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The redhead held his gaze.\u00a0 She pressed her lips against his knuckles and then said quietly, \u201cLittle Joe Cartwright, I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know how she meant it, whether as a kind of a brother or a friend or something more.\u00a0 That was all right.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know how he meant it either.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you too, Phoebe,\u201d Joe said as he took her chin in his hand and leaned forward and kissed her.<\/p>\n

On the lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if that don\u2019t beat all.\u00a0 I guess baby brother is all<\/em> healed,\u201d a familiar voice cracked.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to find Hoss and Adam leaning on the staircase railing, looking down at them.\u00a0 \u201cHey, there, brothers!\u201d he called.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you think you might be taking things a little fast, little brother?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

Joe cocked one eyebrow.\u00a0 \u201cFast?\u201d\u00a0 As the pair descended, he exclaimed, \u201cWhy, I\u2019ve known Phoebe for almost two months!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, I suppose you have Phoebe booked for every dance tonight, even with that thing?\u201d his older brother asked, indicating the crutch.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Course I have.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you promised to take her on a midnight walk?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo, in fact,\u201d Joe smiled.\u00a0 \u201cTonight and tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phoebe smiled.\u00a0 \u201cRemember, Little Joe, I won\u2019t be here tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

All three sobered instantly.\u00a0 Joe turned and touched her face again.\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been let out, remember?\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna look you<\/em> up tomorrow night!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung lady, do you need rescuing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe laughed as he turned to find his father emerging from the wing of the house that held the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cYou been bribing Hop Sing to spike the punch, Pa?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiving him the recipe, actually.\u201d\u00a0 The silver-haired man moved into the Great Room and turned to their guest.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you feeling today, Phoebe?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked from him to Adam, to Hoss, and then back to their father.\u00a0 \u201cHow else could a woman feel when surrounded by four handsome chivalrous men, but completely happy and content?\u201d\u00a0 The redhead paused and then added softly, \u201cHow I will miss <\/em>you all!\u201d<\/p>\n

His father went to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cWe will miss you too, but it\u2019s time for the next chapter in your life to begin.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you decided to take me up on my proposal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their pa had offered to set Phoebe up in business.\u00a0 It seemed she had a real flare for making dresses and was going to try running a shop of her own in the town where her mother lived.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is more than I deserve, Ben,\u201d she said humbly.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up to find his father looking directly at him.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re wrong, Phoebe.\u00a0 It is less than you deserve for what you did for Joseph, and for all of us.\u00a0 Far<\/em> less.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The party was a success.\u00a0 Everyone had a glorious time singing and dancing, eating and drinking, and when it came time for everyone to go Phoebe went too, leaving them for her own family and the promise of a new, clean, and free<\/em> life.<\/p>\n

Ben had supervised the cleaning-up \u2013 or rather, cleaned up himself along with Hop Sing.\u00a0 It was something he actually enjoyed doing from time to time as it let him spend time with his old friend.\u00a0 At the end of it, long after the sun had set and as the passing day was pushing into the new one, he stepped out on to the porch and was surprised to find Joe sitting in the chair by the table, waiting for the new day to dawn.<\/p>\n

Crossing over to him, he touched his head.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

His youngest looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you?\u201d\u00a0 It was a question it seemed he asked at least once a day.\u00a0 This time he got a different answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m okay, Pa.\u00a0 Really, I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moving to the table, he took a seat.\u00a0 \u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was reading one of Adam\u2019s books.\u201d\u00a0 Joe paused and laughed at his face.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, I do <\/em>read, Pa \u2013 from time to time.\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed too.\u00a0 \u201cWhat were you reading?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked at the leather-bound tome.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s one by Thomas Paine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s deep, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

His son was silent a moment.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Adam gave it to me.\u00a0 He said it helped him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u00a0 What is the matter of it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked at the book and then opened to the place held by a blue ribbon.\u00a0 \u201cThis part Adam marked, it\u2019s about what it is to be a real man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben drew in a breath.\u00a0 What was Adam thinking?<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me to read it to you, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.<\/p>\n

Joe raised the book to where the light cast by the lantern overhead illuminated the open pages.\u00a0 Still, when his son read it, it seemed he already knew the passage by heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt says, \u2018The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Joe closed the book and looked up at him.\u00a0 Then his son smiled, that smile that he had always known and not a pale reflection of it.<\/p>\n

Everything was <\/em>going to be all right.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SUMMARY:\u00a0 Joe is attacked. At first it seems the motive was robbery, but all too soon it becomes clear that something devastating has happened to the youngest Cartwright son. As the truth comes out, the Cartwright men face a challenge none of them could have conceived; one that calls upon them to look deep within themselves to find a way to save Joe.<\/p>\n

RATED M:\u00a0This story is rated M for adult situations and themes including sexual assault, sexual innuendo, abusive behavior, violence and brutality.\u00a0 It contains mild adult language.\u00a0 WARNING: This story may not be appropriate for younger or more sensitive readers.<\/p>\n

(72,000 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10058,"featured_media":13770,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,690],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-ma-rated","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-690-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":9233,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/The-Real-Man-Two.jpg?fit=2800%2C4000&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12120,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12120","url_meta":{"origin":13769,"position":0},"title":"Blundered Seduction (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"December 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Caught with his pants down and in a compromising situation by the one person he'd least likely want to find him as such, Joe learns three valuable lessons; no one ever died of embarrassment, chose your friends carefully, and being 16 and still a virgin is nothing to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12132,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12132","url_meta":{"origin":13769,"position":1},"title":"Chinese Molasses (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"January 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12133,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12133","url_meta":{"origin":13769,"position":2},"title":"Frightened Beyond Reason (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"June 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12134,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12134","url_meta":{"origin":13769,"position":3},"title":"In My Father’s House (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":13769,"position":4},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12147,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12147","url_meta":{"origin":13769,"position":5},"title":"He Said Not To Tell (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"The author requests those who wish to read this series contact her via eMail: DLB1234@aol.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1-joe.jpg?fit=238%2C226&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13769","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10058"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13769"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13769\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13769"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13769"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13769"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}