{"id":14051,"date":"2002-11-21T20:52:46","date_gmt":"2002-11-22T01:52:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14051"},"modified":"2026-01-20T15:52:45","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T20:52:45","slug":"carried-on-the-wind-by-diana-g","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14051","title":{"rendered":"Carried on the Wind (by Diana G)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>:\u00a0 As Adam recovers from an accident, he wants to thank his rescuer, but that proves easier said than done.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (29,310 words)<\/p>\n

I wish to express my sincere thanks to my friend Susan Groves, without whom this story would not exist in any physical, or \u2018virtual\u2019, form.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carried on the Wind<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright was falling.\u00a0 What had started as a gentle slide, had quickly turned into a heart stopping tumble down the gravel and rock strewn slope, towards the deep ravine that was waiting to claim him.\u00a0 He tried to slow the speed of his descent by digging his hands into the dirt among the small rocks that covered the ground, but he only succeeded in raising more clouds of gritty dust.\u00a0 Sharp grains of dirt found their way under his eyelids and he wanted to close his eyes against the stinging pain, but he was watching a clump of trees off to one side, trying to direct his progress towards them.\u00a0 As he drew level with the small outcropping, he threw out his left arm and wrapped it round the nearest trunk, nearly pulling the limb from its socket as he succeeded in halting his fall.<\/p>\n

He watched, horrified, as his horse disappeared over the edge of the ravine, and could hear its fading cries of terror as it vanished.\u00a0 He guiltily thanked God that his own horse, Sport, was at home in the barn, nursing a swollen fetlock, and it had not been his long time companion that had fallen to his death a hundred feet below.\u00a0 But then he thought that Sport wouldn\u2019t have panicked when he heard the rattle of the snake.<\/p>\n

Adam hugged the tree for a few minutes to get his breath back, trying to clear his vision as he waited.\u00a0 He blinked several times, and tears streamed down his face as his eyes tried to rid themselves of the dirt that filled them.\u00a0 Looking down at himself, he could make out the fact that his black shirt was ripped and bloody where the rocks had torn at him, and the skin on his hands had been scraped away.\u00a0 His head was aching fiercely where it had struck repeatedly against the scattered rocks, and when he tried to raise his left hand to wipe away a trickle of blood from a cut on his forehead, he thought that he must have pulled every muscle and ligament in his shoulder as he had grabbed the passing tree.\u00a0 But he dismissed all the discomfort, he was lucky to be alive.<\/p>\n

Every time he blinked, Adam felt the scratchy dryness of the dust, but he forced his eyes open as he started to climb slowly back up the steep slope, keeping to one side where the ground was firmer and there were more trees, widely spaced but the only help he had.\u00a0 He found it hard going; he had to use both his arms as he moved cautiously from tree to tree, afraid every time he released his grip on one slender trunk, that he might slip before he could find the safety of another.\u00a0 He rubbed at his increasingly painful eyes, trying to clear them so that he could seek out a secure path, but, by the time he reached the road at the top of the cliff, he could barely see.\u00a0 He attempted to look round for the snake that had made his horse shy and take the fatal steps sideways, but his vision was so blurred that he could make out no details on the ground.\u00a0 He could only hope that the single shot he had managed to get off had been enough.<\/p>\n

He sank down and sat on the side of the dusty road, cradling his arm, trying to relieve the agony of overworked muscles and torn tendons in his shoulder, knowing that he ought to try to make his way towards civilisation, but when he opened his eyes he realised that he couldn\u2019t see enough to walk anywhere. Everything around him was a blur, and when he moved his eyes, they sent a pain through his head that forced him to close them.\u00a0 His shoulders sagged in defeat as he realised that he was alone and unable to see; he would have to wait, either for help, or for his vision to clear.\u00a0 It was early morning, no one would be travelling that lonely mountain road for hours, if at all.\u00a0 He lay on his back beside the road and shut his eyes; at least if he didn\u2019t blink they didn\u2019t hurt so much.\u00a0 He rubbed at them again and tried to open them, but stopped immediately, the pain from the small movement was enough that he didn\u2019t want to try it again any time soon.<\/p>\n

Adam had lain there only ten minutes when he became aware that he could hear the hoof beats of an approaching horse.\u00a0 He pushed himself shakily to his feet; lying still had caused his abused body to stiffen, and his aching head swam as he straightened.\u00a0 When he opened his eyes all he could see were the bright sparks of stars swimming in his vision, so he closed them again but the sparks remained.\u00a0 He waited until he thought that the animal must be close, then tipped his head back and opened his eyes just a fraction, so he was looking through his thick, black lashes.\u00a0 Tears again slipped from his eyes as they protested at this mistreatment, but he ignored them.\u00a0 He could see little, but thought that he detected the shape of a buggy, his ears confirming what he could see only dimly.\u00a0 He stood in the middle of the narrow road and held up his right hand, his left hanging useless at his side.\u00a0 He closed his eyes again as he heard the horse stop some way off, then approach slowly, halting when it came near.\u00a0 He heard the soft crunch of wheels on the dirt road close beside him, but there was no sound from the buggy, so Adam spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan … can you help me?\u201d he asked, trying to sound calm, but he heard his voice come out as a plea.\u00a0 His right hand held his left arm close to his body and he took a step forward.\u00a0 Still there was no sound and he thought that the person in the buggy would leave him there.\u00a0 Then he heard the rustle of material and felt a hand on his arm.<\/p>\n

A light voice spoke to him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat on earth happened to you?\u201d\u00a0 A woman\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy horse…we went over the cliff,\u201d Adam said hesitantly.\u00a0 Now there was someone near he felt himself trembling with relief that he was no longer alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam almost laughed, it was more than he could do at that moment.\u00a0 \u201cCan you help me?\u201d he asked again.<\/p>\n

The woman looked at the ragged stranger before her, seeing the bloody scrapes and tears to his head and body, and knew that she couldn\u2019t leave him there.\u00a0 \u201cHave you hurt your eyes?\u201d she asked, concerned.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just the dust.\u201d\u00a0 He put up a hand to touch them, but pressure on his arm forced it down.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t do that, it will only make them worse.\u201d\u00a0 She could see by the bloody smears round his eyes that he had been rubbing at them with his hands, and she held his arm so that he would not do so again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you live?\u201d the woman asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Ponderosa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gestured in the direction of his home.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not far.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take you there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, really you don\u2019t have to.\u00a0 If I can just get a horse…\u201d Adam turned towards her and opened his eyes, but all he could see was a thick mist and patches of light and dark, no detail at all, and he shut them quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd do what exactly?\u00a0 Your own horse might have been able to take you home, but I doubt that you can see well enough to get yourself there on a borrowed mount.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t argue.\u00a0 She was right, he\u2019d never be able to find his way home as he was.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, I\u2019m very grateful to you.\u00a0 My name\u2019s Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

When she didn\u2019t reply Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t you tell me who you are?\u00a0 I would like to know who it was that rescued me.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sensed a hesitation, then the woman spoke.\u00a0 \u201cMy name is Verity Carlisle.\u201d<\/p>\n

The name seemed familiar to Adam but he couldn\u2019t place it for a moment, then he remembered.\u00a0 He had heard the name spoken in town, along with the gossip.\u00a0 They said that the woman at the old Mason ranch was a recluse.\u00a0 Knowing nods, that said they also thought that she was probably a little mad as well, always followed this statement.\u00a0 No one had seen her since she had bought the place a few weeks before; it was small and isolated, sharing a section of the Ponderosa\u2019s eastern boundary.\u00a0 She apparently had just one elderly hand who helped her, and it was he who came into town for supplies.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m pleased to meet you,\u201d Adam said with feeling, grateful that she had stopped and helped him.\u00a0 Verity looked sideways at him, seeing the sincerity on his dark, handsome face.<\/p>\n

She helped Adam up onto the seat, and he felt it rock as she stepped up onto the other side of the buggy and sat down beside him.\u00a0 She slapped the reins against the back of the horse and the vehicle began to move.<\/p>\n

After they had travelled for a few minutes in silence, Verity saw a stream up ahead and pulled the horse to a standstill.\u00a0 \u201cI think we should try to get some of that dirt out of your eyes.\u00a0 Just stay there and I\u2019ll help you down.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam baulked at being so helpless and tried to open his eyes, but knowing the pain it would cause, his eyelids refused to move and he sat waiting for her, until he felt her hand on his arm and allowed her to lead him to the water\u2019s edge.\u00a0 He could sense that she was shorter than him and, he thought as his arm brushed against her, quite slim.\u00a0 He wondered what she looked like; her voice was light and gentle, a pretty voice.\u00a0 Did she have the face to match?\u00a0 Was she fair, or dark?\u00a0 How old was she?\u00a0 Verity helped him to sit down, pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, and then dipped it in the cold water of the stream.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you open your eyes at all?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 Adam tried, then shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNever mind, I\u2019ll just get some of the blood and dirt from around them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was concerned.\u00a0 \u201cBlood?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t fret, I think it\u2019s just where you\u2019ve been rubbing them with your hands, it\u2019s not coming from your eyes.\u201d\u00a0 She bathed the cuts on his face and forehead, and managed to get some of the dirt out of his eyes.\u00a0 When she had finished, Adam again put up his hand to rub at them and Verity again stopped him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to put this cloth round your eyes, it\u2019ll help you to keep them shut and stop you touching them until the doctor can take a look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

As she bound the handkerchief round his head, Adam felt the relief of having his eyes held shut.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, that feels much better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you wait there a moment, I will get something to wrap around your hands as well.\u201d\u00a0 Adam heard her move away and, after a few quiet seconds, he panicked as he thought that he was alone, that she might not come back.\u00a0 But then he heard the rustle of her skirts as she returned, and he breathed a sigh of relief.\u00a0 Not being able to see cut to the depth of his being, he felt vulnerable and useless, feelings that he hated.<\/p>\n

After she had bathed and bound his hands, she spoke as she held his arm.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get you home.\u201d\u00a0 Adam made to stand but his knees gave way and he fell against Verity.\u00a0 \u201cI think your little adventure is starting to catch up with you, take it slowly and you\u2019ll make it,\u201d she advised kindly, helping him upright again.<\/p>\n

She guided Adam slowly and carefully back to the buggy, and they rode on towards the Ponderosa.\u00a0 By the time they were approaching the ranch house, Adam had fallen sideways and had his head cradled on Verity\u2019s lap.\u00a0 While the bandage stopped him from opening his eyes, it couldn\u2019t stop him from moving them under the closed lids, and the pain that caused, mixed with the hurt in his body and a blinding headache that made him feel nauseous, had driven him to escape in unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

Verity pulled up short of the house and sat for a few minutes, looking round.\u00a0 She put her hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder and shook him gently, but firmly.\u00a0 He came to his senses slowly; he hurt everywhere and had to fight to stay awake.\u00a0 Adam tried to open his eyes to see where he was, then, as memory returned, he put his hand up and felt the cloth bound over them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill there be anyone at home?\u201d Verity asked, and Adam thought that she sounded nervous.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the time?\u201d he asked, trying to concentrate on what she was saying.<\/p>\n

There was a pause.\u00a0 \u201cNearly midday,\u201d Verity reported.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be back soon though.\u201d\u00a0 Adam remembered his father saying that he was taking Hop Sing, their Chinese housekeeper, into Virginia City for supplies.<\/p>\n

Verity moved the horse forward and stopped in front of the house.\u00a0 Adam felt the seat bounce as she got down, and then his rescuer was supporting him in through the front door.\u00a0 Adam stumbled as he tripped over the edge of the rug behind the settee; he had never noticed that he usually stepped over the rough edge of the furnishing, worn with the tread of many feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll help you up to your room, if you like,\u201d Verity offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d\u00a0 The comfort of his bed beckoned to Adam and he gave her directions.<\/p>\n

She sat him on the side of the bed and pulled off his boots, while Adam released his empty gun belt.\u00a0\u00a0 He lay down, not bothering to try to get undressed, it was too much effort, and besides, there was a woman present, but he knew that he would have to endure the wrath of Hop Sing for lying in his bed in clothes that were bloody and dust covered.\u00a0 Verity pulled the blankets over him and told him that she would leave a message for his family, so that they would know what had happened and could send for the doctor.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Carlisle, thank you,\u201d Adam\u2019s words were slurred as his body told him that it had had enough for one day and forced him into the waiting arms of painless oblivion.<\/p>\n

**********
\nBen Cartwright ran into his son\u2019s room and saw the still figure stretched out on the bed.\u00a0 Adam was lying on his right side, turned away from the door, and Ben could only see his back, which showed him that Adam\u2019s dusty shirt was torn, with patches of dried blood darkening the black material.\u00a0 He went to the far side of the bed and knelt down, observing the cuts and bruises, the bandaging on his son\u2019s hands and the handkerchief bound over his eyes.\u00a0 The message, which Ben had found on the low table in front of the huge fireplace in the living room, had said that Adam was in his room, hurt and in need of a doctor, but gave no other details.<\/p>\n

Adam came awake to the sound of his father\u2019s worried voice, \u201cAdam, Adam, what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rolled over onto his back and groaned; the adrenaline had stopped flowing and he felt worse now than when he had climbed back up the cliff, he seemed to hurt just about everywhere.\u00a0 \u201cHorse fell…cliff.\u00a0 Dirt…in my eyes,\u201d he said slowly, as he put up a hand to take off the cloth that covered them, but Ben stopped him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you should leave that alone until Doc Martin gets here, he won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam let his arm drop back onto the covers.\u00a0 \u201cOK.\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t feel strong enough to argue.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get you cleaned up in the meantime.\u00a0 How\u2019d you get here?\u201d\u00a0 Ben went to the washstand and poured some water into the basin.\u00a0 Adam heard the sound of the trickling water and was not surprised to feel his father begin to unbutton what remained of his tattered shirt.<\/p>\n

\u201cWoman helped me.\u201d\u00a0 Shafts of pain were driving themselves through Adam\u2019s head and he was finding it difficult to think clearly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t she wait for someone to come home?\u201d Ben asked as he worked at cleaning the many cuts that covered his son\u2019s upper body, thankful that his legs had been protected by the sturdier material of his jeans.\u00a0 \u201cDo you know who she was?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam started to nod, but then thought better of it.\u00a0 \u201cYes\u2026Verity Carlisle,\u201d Adam said slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I must remember to thank her.\u00a0 What happened to your horse?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDead\u2026in the ravine.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s head was hurting and he was losing the fight to stay conscious.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat made him fall?\u201d\u00a0 Ben wondered.\u00a0 He waited but got no reply, and he realised that Adam had drifted off to sleep.\u00a0 He put his hand to his son\u2019s dark hair and stroked it lovingly.\u00a0 He hated for any of his children to be hurt, it cut him deeply to see their suffering.\u00a0 But Ben thought that Adam had been lucky not to share the fate of his dead mount.<\/p>\n

When Doctor Paul Martin entered Adam\u2019s bedroom Ben stood to greet him.\u00a0 \u201cHello Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Ben.\u00a0 I got your message and came straight over.\u00a0 What happened?\u201d the doctor asked, as he took off his jacket and hung it over the chair near the door.\u00a0 Paul was not only a good doctor, but had an air that told patients, and worried parents, that he was in control.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure; he said something about falling over a cliff and dust getting in his eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor nodded as he washed his hands and dried them on a towel.\u00a0 \u201cWell, let me take a look at him.\u201d\u00a0 Paul moved to the side of the bed and gently shook Adam\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 The only sign they had that he had woken was the deep breath he took.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, it\u2019s Paul.\u00a0 Can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded once, slowly.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I can hear you, I\u2019m not deaf,\u201d Adam said acidly.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t his ears that hurt.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to take a look at your eyes.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to take off the bandage.\u201d\u00a0 Paul unwound the cloth and, as it came loose, Adam tried to open his eyes.\u00a0 He gasped and shut them quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHurts, does it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many years did you have to study to diagnose that?\u201d asked Adam sharply.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Ben exclaimed.<\/p>\n

Adam took a couple of deep breaths.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Paul, guess I\u2019m not thinking quite straight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul felt round Adam\u2019s head, and found several sizeable lumps that had no right to be there.\u00a0 \u201cBang your head as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bit,\u201d Adam acknowledged.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, any pain you have from that will soon pass.\u00a0 But I want to look at your eyes.\u00a0 Now, don\u2019t do anything, let me open them for you.\u201d\u00a0 Paul put his fingers on Adam\u2019s eyelids and gently lifted each in turn.\u00a0 As he did so, the fingers of Adam\u2019s right hand wrapped themselves in the bedspread, and he gritted his teeth against the pain.<\/p>\n

Paul turned to Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWould you get me some hot water, and bring it and some salt?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben went to find Hop Sing, who was in the pantry stacking the supplies they had brought back from town.\u00a0 Meanwhile Paul examined Adam more closely.\u00a0 He checked the cuts and declared himself satisfied at the treatment Ben had given, and he re-bandaged Adam\u2019s flayed hands, then he wrapped the damaged shoulder tightly, fashioning a sling to support it.\u00a0 When Ben returned with the water, Paul mixed some salt into it and, after placing a towel over the pillows, started to wash his patient\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Adam found it impossible to keep still and constantly turned his head away.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you must let me do this.\u00a0 I have to get the dirt out,\u201d Paul said forcefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m trying, but they hurt so much\u2026\u201d Adam moaned, fearful of what the pain might mean.<\/p>\n

Paul looked up at Ben, who was watching anxiously.\u00a0 \u201cCan you hold his head still; I must get them as clean as I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sat on the bed and held his son\u2019s head firmly, while Paul washed out his eyes.\u00a0 Adam fought against them, until finally the doctor decided that he had got rid of as much of the dirt as he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to put some ointment in your eyes, it may sting a bit, but it will help them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam drew his breath in sharply and gritted his teeth as Paul used his finger to put the medication under the eyelids.\u00a0 Then the doctor wrapped a clean cotton bandage over his patient\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to keep that bandage on for at least a week.\u00a0 The dirt has scratched the surface of your eyes and you must rest and allow them time to heal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam lay on the pillows, exhausted by the treatment, and said a weak \u201cOK\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make sure he does as you say,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

Paul was putting on his coat.\u00a0 \u201cThen I\u2019ll see you next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope to see you then, as well,\u201d Adam said miserably.\u00a0 The thought of a sightless week, of not being able to read, or see the sun, or his family, filled him with dread.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well we\u2019ll…\u201d Paul stopped himself before he finished the inappropriate sentence.\u00a0\u00a0 He motioned to Ben to follow him as he left.<\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on Adam\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back in a minute.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just go and see Paul out.\u201d\u00a0 He realised what he had said only when Adam turned his face away.\u00a0 Ben shook his head sadly, and went out after the doctor.<\/p>\n

As they left him alone, Adam again felt the rising panic he had experienced when Verity left him by the stream.\u00a0 Without his sight he was helpless, cut off from the world and those he loved.\u00a0 He forced himself to calm down and think rationally, Paul had said that it would only be for a week.\u00a0 Surely, thought Adam, he could manage seven days of darkness, but not being able to see was his worst nightmare come true.<\/p>\n

As Ben and the doctor reached the great room that made up most of the downstairs area of the large ranch house, Ben\u2019s younger sons, Hoss and Joe, greeted the two men.\u00a0 They had heard about Adam\u2019s accident and were waiting expectantly for news.\u00a0 Paul turned a serious face to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Paul?\u201d Ben asked, suddenly afraid.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I should warn you that Adam may have permanently damaged his eyes.\u00a0 I managed to get nearly all the dirt out, but his eyes are badly scratched.\u00a0 Most of that will heal, but it may leave scarring that will impair his sight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you mean that he may be blind?\u201d Ben asked softly, horrified at the thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is a possibility, though probably not,\u201d Paul tried to reassure the men who were staring at him.\u00a0 \u201cBut it could affect his vision.\u00a0 The best I can compare it to is looking through a lace curtain.\u00a0 You can see well enough, but not clearly.\u00a0 I just wanted to warn you, but I haven\u2019t told Adam, no point in him worrying about it all week.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood with his hands deep in his pockets, his shoulders hunched.\u00a0 \u201cIs there anything we can do for him, to help him?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was the biggest of the three brothers, strong, broad and tall.\u00a0 He would use that strength to help his family, but knew it was useless in a situation like this.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust keep him as quiet as you can, make him rest so he doesn\u2019t move his eyes too much, and let nature take its course.\u201d\u00a0 Paul smiled, \u201cFortunately, I don\u2019t think that he\u2019s going to want to move for a couple of days.\u00a0 And don\u2019t let him even think of touching those bandages.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, doc,\u201d said Joe.\u00a0 \u201cEven if we have to hog-tie him he\u2019ll do as he\u2019s told.\u201d\u00a0 This youngest brother would do anything to ensure that Adam recovered.<\/p>\n

Paul nodded, satisfied that he had done all he could.\u00a0 Ben let him out of the door and turned to Joe and Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cWell, you heard what he said, peace and quiet for a week.\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled softly.\u00a0 \u201cThat will make a nice change.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********
\nThey had no difficulty keeping Adam in bed for the rest of the day, but, despite the doctor\u2019s prediction, the following morning he insisted on getting up.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m not ill, and I feel fine.\u00a0 My head\u2019s stopped aching and so has everything else.\u201d\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t being strictly honest, but knew he wouldn\u2019t feel any worse if he was allowed out of bed.\u00a0 \u201cPaul only said rest.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say I had to stay here.\u201d\u00a0 Even after so short a time of enforced idleness, Adam was getting edgy.\u00a0 He found that the sleep he had had during the previous day had robbed him of a night\u2019s rest.\u00a0 Normally when he couldn\u2019t sleep, he would read, but that was not possible and, instead, he had run through in his mind poetry that he remembered, imagining himself holding the book and looking at its pages.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery well, but you sit downstairs and don\u2019t move unless one of us is with you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben looked hard at his son, then realised with a start that Adam couldn\u2019t see him, and the piercing stare would have no effect.\u00a0 \u201cDo I have your word?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right then.\u201d\u00a0 Ben helped Adam to dress, then guided him downstairs and made him sit on the settee.\u00a0 \u201cCan I get you anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA cup of coffee would be good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded and went into the kitchen.\u00a0 Adam heard the sounds of his father\u2019s booted feet cross the room, striking hard on the wooden boards, but then softer as he trod on one of the rugs.\u00a0 Other sounds intruded on his thoughts.\u00a0 The crackling that told him there was a fire in the grate, the ticking of the long case clock beside the front door, bright bird song from outside the dining room window, which made Adam think that the sun must be shining, and the chatter of men moving about the yard.\u00a0\u00a0 Sounds that had always been there, but which he had ignored for the more immediate sights of his surroundings and the movement around him; now he cherished them, they were his contact with the world.<\/p>\n

He heard his father return from the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cThere you are, son.\u201d\u00a0 Ben guided Adam\u2019s bandaged right hand to the cup, his left arm being restricted by the sling that supported his shoulder.\u00a0 Adam took it and drank slowly.\u00a0 The coffee was hot and a little bitter, but refreshing, a slightly dusty flavour overlaid with a nutty bite that he had never appreciated before.\u00a0 He wondered what else this week would reveal to him as his other senses replaced that which had been lost temporarily, and was suddenly, surprisingly, looking forward to the days without sight, and what it would add to his knowledge of the world around him.\u00a0 No, he thought, he was not \u2018looking forward\u2019, he was listening and feeling forward to things he had not experienced.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon,\u201d said Ben to get Adam\u2019s attention, \u201cI have to go out for a while, will you be all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, why wouldn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing\u2019s in the kitchen if you need anything, just call him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, just go and stop worrying, will you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hated people fussing over him, and he knew that there were jobs that needed doing.\u00a0 Ben nodded and, picking up his gun belt and hat, took a backwards look at his son sitting quietly on the settee.\u00a0 He said a silent prayer that the end of the week would see him back to normal, and left.<\/p>\n

Adam sat, listening to the sounds around him.\u00a0 Funny, he thought, the house had always seemed silent before, when he was alone.\u00a0 Now he heard the creak of the timbers as they expanded in the morning sunlight, the soft sigh of the breeze against the eaves, and the movement of people outside.\u00a0 He heard the sound of his father\u2019s horse as he rode away, then more horses as men left for their assigned tasks about the ranch.\u00a0 As the hoof beats faded, Adam became aware of the sound of his own blood as it moved with his heartbeat, and it made him claustrophobic, it was a noise that he couldn\u2019t get away from.\u00a0 He shook his head to try to rid himself of the feeling, but it persisted.\u00a0 He put the cup to his lips to drain the contents and then found that he had already done so, shocked to realise that he had no way of telling.\u00a0 He leant forwards to put the cup on the table, but it fell to the floor as he stopped short of the wooden surface.\u00a0 He sighed, and bent down to retrieve it, but as he did so the increased blood flow started his head hurting again and he sat back slowly.\u00a0 He wondered how he was going to manage for the next seven days; perhaps Paul would take pity on him and make it six.<\/p>\n

He lay back against the settee, trying not to sleep, but his thoughts turned towards it as a verse ran through his mind:<\/p>\n

Care-charming Sleep, thou easer of all woes,<\/em>
\nBrother to Death, sweetly thyself dispose<\/em>
\nOn this afflicted prince.\u00a0 Fall like a cloud<\/em>
\nIn gentle showers.\u00a0 Give nothing that is loud,<\/em>
\nOr painful to his slumbers; easy, light<\/em>
\nAnd as a purling stream, thou son of Night,<\/em>
\nPass by his troubled senses.\u00a0 Sing his pain,<\/em>
\nLike hollow murmuring wind or silver rain.<\/em>
\nInto this prince gently, oh, gently slide.<\/em>
\nAnd kiss him into slumbers like a bride.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (1)<\/em>
\nAdam felt the first wisps of sleep approach and shook himself awake.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to sleep, though he would have easily given in to the temptation to do so, but he wanted to be able to rest at the same time as his family.\u00a0 Being awake when they were sleeping the night before had made him feel lonely and isolated.\u00a0 He sat up, and became aware of a peculiar sound from the back of the house.\u00a0 Curiosity overcame his promise to his father, and he rose slowly.\u00a0 He made his way cautiously past the settee and held out his hand to feel for the chair where he normally sat, at the opposite end of the dining table to his father.\u00a0 He made contact with the smooth wood and felt for the table.\u00a0 He slowly made his way round it, past the chair where Joe would sit, until he reached the other end, then stretched out his hand and took a pace forward until he touched the rough surface of the wall.\u00a0 A sideways step had him by the window, and he opened it, cocking his head to listen.\u00a0 The noise came again, a flapping like the wings of a huge bird.\u00a0 Adam frowned and tried to picture what could be happening at the rear of the house to make such a sound.\u00a0 He smiled to himself as he heard quiet expletives in Chinese; Hop Sing was hanging out the washing.\u00a0 Adam visualised what was happening as he followed the sounds.\u00a0 The washing basket creaked as Hop Sing picked up an article, then he shook it out, causing the flapping sound, then a pause as he pegged it to the line.\u00a0 Adam assumed the expletives were directed at some misbehaving piece of washing, perhaps a shirt with the arms inside out.<\/p>\n

Adam remembered his promise to his father, and started to make his way back to the settee.\u00a0 As he felt his way to the table, he heard a horse in the yard and recognised the prancing step of Cochise, Joe\u2019s mount.\u00a0 He hurried so as to be seated when his brother appeared, but in his rush he caught his foot on the leg of a dining chair and fell to his knees, banging his already injured shoulder on the corner of the table.\u00a0 He cursed his condition quietly and fluently, and Joe chose that moment to enter.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust what do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d\u00a0 Joe demanded, as he went to help his brother to his feet and back to his place on the settee.\u00a0 Adam laughed to himself; it was so much what he would have said if he had found his young brother in the same position.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got curious, it\u2019s my own stupid fault, fell over the chair,\u201d Adam admitted sheepishly.\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell Pa or he\u2019ll have me cooped up in that bedroom for the rest of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, just this once, but if I catch you doing anything like that again I will tell him.\u00a0 You must take care of yourself, if you\u2019re not…\u201d Joe stopped, remembering that Adam didn\u2019t know the possible outcome of his injury.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019m not what?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe hesitated fractionally.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019re not to get into Pa\u2019s bad books.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam noticed the hesitation and knew that Joe was hiding something.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d Joe asked innocently.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat aren\u2019t you telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing.\u00a0\u00a0 I was afraid that you might have hurt yourself again, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t admit to Joe that he was right.\u00a0 By disobeying his father he had hurt his shoulder, and woken up several aches that he had thought were sleeping and under control.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there anything I can get you?\u201d asked Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI came back to make sure that you were OK.\u00a0 Pa said that he might have to go out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m fine, and you must have work to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, breaking those misbegotten broncs that we bought last week.\u00a0 I swear some of them are determined to break me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe rubbed his back, remembering.<\/p>\n

Adam heard the rustle of Joe\u2019s shirt and pictured the familiar movement.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s fresh coffee in the kitchen.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you have some before you go back?\u00a0 And you can get me one while you\u2019re at it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded, then, realising Adam couldn\u2019t see his agreement, said, \u201cYeah, why not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam heard him go to the kitchen and pour out some coffee, then return.\u00a0 They sat together talking quietly for half an hour, until Joe said that he must be getting back.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for coming in, Joe, I appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s OK, but promise me you\u2019ll do as you\u2019re told.\u00a0 Adam, I\u2019m sorry that you got hurt, but you must be careful, you know, do what the doc told you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s tone held a concern that touched Adam\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise, now git.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was seated, as he had promised Joe, when Ben returned late in the morning.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m pleased to see that you haven\u2019t moved,\u201d observed Ben.<\/p>\n

Adam was glad that his father couldn\u2019t see the guilty look that would have been in his eyes at that moment.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about some lunch, then?\u201d Ben suggested, and guided Adam to sit beside him at the table as Hop Sing brought out their meal.<\/p>\n

Adam was about to start eating, when it occurred to him that he had no idea what was on his plate.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at him for a second, before he realised what he meant.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s cold ham, eggs and sourdough bread.\u00a0 Would you like me to help you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s tone was sharp as he replied.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I can manage perfectly well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry son, I didn\u2019t mean to upset you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m sorry, that was uncalled for,\u201d Adam apologised.\u00a0 \u201cLet me try for myself.\u201d\u00a0 Adam found it difficult to eat his meal.\u00a0 He had only a vague idea what was on his fork, and how much, but he was determined that he would do it for himself.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t an invalid and didn\u2019t want any help.\u00a0 He had eaten only half his food when he gave up, making the excuse that he had had enough.<\/p>\n

Ben took his arm and led him back to the settee, placing a cup of coffee in Adam\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Pa.\u00a0 I suppose a walk outside in the fresh air would be out of the question?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou suppose correctly,\u201d Ben agreed.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe in a couple of days, but right now you sit there and do as you\u2019re told.\u00a0 If you want anything just ask me, I\u2019ll be at my desk.\u201d\u00a0 Ben saw Adam\u2019s miserable expression.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I\u2019m sorry about what happened to your eyes, but you won\u2019t help them heal if you don\u2019t rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, everyone\u2019s sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was tired of hearing the expression, first from Joe, now his father.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want their pity, he wanted to get on with his life.<\/p>\n

Adam had sat quietly for a time but became restless with nothing to do, nothing that he could do, sightless and one handed as he was.\u00a0 After many requests, which became increasingly pleading, Ben finally agreed and allowed Adam to venture outside onto the veranda for an hour, making his son promise that he wouldn\u2019t move.\u00a0 Adam sat in the warm, late afternoon sun listening, fascinated by the sounds that had always escaped his notice before.\u00a0 Behind the cheering and pounding of hoof beats coming from the corral were mostly the sounds of small wildlife; the scraping of squirrels, the chirping of birds, or calls from some unknown creature to its mate.\u00a0 He could hear, far off, the lowing of the cattle in the top meadow and behind it all the murmuring of the wind in the trees.\u00a0 He pictured it all in his mind, and realised that when he thought of his home and its surroundings, he always saw it bathed in sunlight, warm and peaceful.<\/p>\n

He sighed and settled himself lower in his chair.\u00a0 Knowing that it would only be for a week, he could find a certain fascination in his temporary blindness, and the new world it let him into.<\/p>\n

Adam heard Ben approaching; the firm, long strides were unmistakeable.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, it\u2019s me.\u00a0 I think you should come inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right?\u201d asked Ben, concerned.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 I was just thinking.\u00a0 We take so much for granted, like being able to see.\u00a0 But now I can\u2019t, I have a different perspective on the world.\u00a0 I can hear things that I never noticed before, and smells.\u00a0 Did you know that from here you can smell the scent of the roses in Hop Sing\u2019s garden at the back of the house?\u00a0 I\u2019ve never noticed that before.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sniffed and raised his eyebrows, he had not noticed the sweet perfume in the air.\u00a0 \u201cSo you can,\u201d he laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut that\u2019s enough, come inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam did not resist as Ben held his arm.\u00a0 He had told his father that he felt fine, but in truth he was tired, his shoulder ached as did the many bruises, and there was a constant, annoying throbbing in his head.\u00a0 Ben could see his weary step, and Adam did not resist when his father suggested that it was time for him to rest, and that he should go to his room.\u00a0 As Adam sat on the bed, Ben pulled his boots off for him and saw him settled under the covers.<\/p>\n

Ben lowered himself into a chair.\u00a0 \u201cCan I get you anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, thanks.\u201d\u00a0 He lay back on the pillows and waited for sleep to claim him.<\/p>\n

Ben was concerned when he noticed that Adam was breathing faster and a sheen of sweat had formed on his face.\u00a0 He leaned forward.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, son, are you feeling all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m…I\u2019m fine.\u201d\u00a0 Adam reached out, searching for his father\u2019s hand, needing the contact.\u00a0 \u201cI was just thinking of you and Hoss and Joe.\u00a0 I pictured you all sitting downstairs.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s grip tightened as he continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThen I realised that none of you had a face.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was breaking as he spoke, holding back the tears.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I couldn\u2019t see your faces.\u00a0 How could I forget what you look like, how is that possible in so short a time?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was at a loss, but he had to find the right words to comfort his distraught son.\u00a0 He took a deep breath, hoping that the words would come.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, it\u2019s not that you\u2019ve forgotten, it\u2019s just that you are so used to seeing us that you don\u2019t need to remember.\u00a0 When you go away for a few days you don\u2019t forget, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think so, but I don\u2019t remember having to think about what you look like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t have to think about it.\u00a0 You\u2019re trying too hard, that\u2019s all.\u00a0 You\u2019re not used to having to make an effort to remember.\u00a0 If you stop trying so hard, it\u2019ll come.\u201d\u00a0 Ben felt Adam\u2019s hold on his hand slacken, but he didn\u2019t let go.<\/p>\n

Adam tried to bring his breathing under control, to relax his mind and body.\u00a0 Slowly it started to work, and his mind wandered, from scenes of life in Virginia City, to the view over Lake Tahoe, then the workings of the ranch and the people involved.\u00a0 He could see them all.\u00a0 In his mind he saw three figures riding towards him.\u00a0 As they approached he realised it was his family, and he could see each of their faces.\u00a0 He turned his head towards his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, Pa.\u00a0 I can see you all, clearly.\u00a0 Thank God,\u201d he finished with a heartfelt prayer.\u00a0 To see nothing was bad enough, but to lose the image of his family would be too much to bear.<\/p>\n

Ben squeezed Adam\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cWhen will you learn that your Pa is always right?\u201d\u00a0 Ben thanked God as well.\u00a0 \u201cNow go to sleep, I\u2019ll be right here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam settled himself deeper under the covers.\u00a0 Ben watched his breathing become regular and light as he fell asleep, and he prayed that his son would soon be able to look on the faces of his family once more.\u00a0 He recalled the first time he had looked into his son\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 The room was filled with the echo of the last breath that Adam\u2019s mother would ever take, and Ben could still feel the touch of her hand on his.\u00a0 He had tears in his eyes as he went to the crib beside the bed and lifted the tiny bundle that would grow into the man lying sleeping before him.\u00a0 The new born baby\u2019s eyes opened and gazed trustingly at his father.\u00a0 They were a dusky blue, Ben remembered, that slowly changed to become a warm brown during his first year.<\/p>\n

\u201cElizabeth,\u201d Ben whispered, \u201care you watching over our son?\u00a0 Can you see his suffering?\u00a0 Please let him be all right, he doesn\u2019t deserve to be blind.\u00a0 He gives so much, and asks so little.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t let them take his sight.\u00a0 I\u2019d give anything to prevent that happening.\u201d\u00a0 The tears ran unheeded down Ben\u2019s cheeks as he prayed desperately for his son.<\/p>\n

**********
\nHop Sing brought Adam his breakfast in bed, and helped him to eat it.\u00a0 Adam found that the little Chinaman had a natural understanding of when he needed help and when he could manage for himself, and he did not find the assistance so difficult to accept as that of his family.\u00a0 He stayed in his room until Ben came to help him dress, and took him downstairs.<\/p>\n

As the hours wore at him Adam became restless and eventually he stood.\u00a0 Ben immediately noticed the movement.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you think you\u2019re going?\u201d he asked, rising from his chair behind the desk.<\/p>\n

Adam turned towards the sound of his father\u2019s voice.\u00a0 \u201cI just thought that I\u2019d stretch my legs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen let me help you,\u201d Ben said, but Adam gently eased the guiding hand off his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I can manage. As long as no one\u2019s moved the furniture I can walk round the room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please.\u00a0 I can manage,\u201d Adam said, a little more sharply than he intended.<\/p>\n

Ben watched as his son felt his way round the settee and walked slowly towards the door.\u00a0 Adam turned and made his way back, carefully remembering to step over the worn rug.\u00a0 \u201cThere, you see.\u201d Adam stopped abruptly, realising what he had said.\u00a0 He hung his head and turned away from Ben before his father should see the stricken look on his face.\u00a0 Adam paced back and forth behind the settee cherishing the hint of independence it gave him, while Ben watched.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m fine, get on with what you were doing.\u201d He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry, I just need to move a bit, I can\u2019t sit forever.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stretched to ease out some of the kinks from his back<\/p>\n

Ben stayed where he was for a minute, then, seeing Adam move carefully around the room, went back to his desk and the books he was working on.<\/p>\n

When Ben said it was time for lunch, Adam insisted on finding his way to the table by himself.\u00a0 Ben stood nervously beside him, ready to prevent him hurting himself, until Adam made it safely to his seat.\u00a0 They ate lunch together, but again Adam found it difficult, and did not eat much.<\/p>\n

Ben returned to the accounts and Adam sat obediently all afternoon, not that he had much choice with his father in the room, and he still ached, though he kept that to himself.\u00a0 Despite his efforts to stay awake, he found himself drifting off to sleep.\u00a0 With no stimulus for his eyes and no movement for his body, it was impossible not to.\u00a0 He could hardly separate sleeping from waking, only the peculiar and unnatural events in his dreams told him the difference; dreams of darkness, which left Adam with such a feeling of deprivation that he woke fearing he had lost both his sight and his family.<\/p>\n

He was awake and once more contemplating how his other senses had taken over from his sight.\u00a0 Lines from a poem were running through Adam\u2019s head, lines that now had more meaning for him:<\/p>\n

\u2018To walk abroad is, not with eyes,<\/em>
\nBut thoughts, the fields to see and prize;<\/em>
\nElse may the silent feet,<\/em>
\nLike logs of wood,<\/em>
\nMove up and down, and see no good,<\/em>
\nNor joy nor glory meet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ev\u2019n carts and wheels their place do change,<\/em>
\nBut cannot see; though very strange<\/em>
\nThe glory that is by:<\/em>
\nDead puppets may<\/em>
\nMove in the bright and glorious day,<\/em>
\nYet not behold the sky.<\/em><\/p>\n

Are not men than they more blind,<\/em>
\nWho having eyes yet never find<\/em>
\nThe bliss in which they move:<\/em>
\nLike statues dead<\/em>
\nThey up and down are carried,<\/em>
\nYet neither see nor love …\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (2)<\/em>
\nAdam knew that, when the bandages were removed and he could see once again, he would not go about blind to the world around him.\u00a0 He would be able to appreciate, even more deeply, the wonderful sights that his home afforded him, the sounds and smells that he had ignored; all his senses would be heightened.\u00a0 He wondered how long it would last, before he forgot his temporary blindness and the gifts that it had given him.<\/p>\n

His thoughts were interrupted by the unmistakeable sounds of his brothers\u2019 arrival; the light gait of Cochise and the slower, firmer tread of Chubb, Hoss\u2019 horse.\u00a0 The noises faded as Joe and Hoss stabled their horses, and then Adam heard footsteps approach the house.\u00a0 The added acuteness of his sense of hearing enabled him to listen to them talking as they neared the front door.\u00a0 They paused before entering.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019ya mean ya found him on the floor?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019d been walking about, and fell over a chair,\u201d Joe confirmed.\u00a0 He had promised Adam that he wouldn\u2019t tell Pa, but had, at last, confided his concern to Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we should get Pa to tell him, you know, what Paul said, that he could ruin his sight if he don\u2019t do as he\u2019s told.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how he\u2019d manage,\u201d said Joe with sympathy, thinking of Adam\u2019s love of books.\u00a0 \u201cIf he couldn\u2019t see to read or write, it would just about finish him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat motionless, listening to the exchange.\u00a0 Did they mean that he could lose his sight permanently?\u00a0 He went cold inside as the words sank in.\u00a0 Hoss and Joe entered the house and greeted their father and brother.\u00a0 Ben rose from behind his desk and welcomed them home, but Adam sat, silent.\u00a0 Then he got shakily to his feet, and turned an unseeing face to his family.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me?\u201d\u00a0 His voice was low and angry.\u00a0 Three pairs of eyes turned towards him, mystified.\u00a0 Ben went round the settee and took hold of Adam\u2019s arm, trying to make him sit down again.\u00a0 Adam shook him off roughly.\u00a0 \u201cWhy!\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

Ben tried to calm him.\u00a0 \u201cTell you what?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s lips were thin, his face rigid with anger, and he barely opened his mouth as he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not a child.\u00a0 I\u2019m thirty years old.\u00a0 Grown up enough to be told the truth.\u201d\u00a0 He turned towards his father\u2019s voice.\u00a0 \u201cTell me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard them.\u201d\u00a0 Adam pointed to where he thought his brothers were standing.\u00a0 \u201cThey were talking about me being blind!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss looked at each other, wondering how Adam could have heard them.\u00a0 They glanced at Ben and shrugged their shoulders, bewildered.\u00a0 Ben again took hold of Adam\u2019s right arm and this time made him sit.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, son.\u00a0 Paul and I thought it best if you didn\u2019t have that worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me what Paul said.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke more calmly, knowing that he would now get the truth.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said that there might be permanent damage to your eyes.\u00a0 Not blindness necessarily, but poor sight.\u00a0 Only time will tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are the chances?\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s voice shook as he heard his fears confirmed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul didn\u2019t say, but he did say that rest would help.\u201d\u00a0 Ben sat beside Adam and put his hand on his eldest son\u2019s shoulder, knowing what the news was doing to him.<\/p>\n

Adam was silent, he had thought that he would only have a few days of darkness, and then he would see again.\u00a0 He had been unsettled but intrigued by his situation, but now…now… to never see again!\u00a0 He turned and buried his face in the strong shoulder of his father.\u00a0 He tried to hold back the tears that soaked into the bandage over his eyes, glad that it prevented them from falling.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to lose control in front of his family, it would upset them too much.<\/p>\n

Ben held him tight, while Hoss and Joe stood uncertainly.\u00a0 They moved without thinking and put their hands on him, letting Adam know they were near, trying to show their love.\u00a0 Eventually Adam sat up, still holding on to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam said softly, \u201cwhat if I can\u2019t see, what will happen to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u00a0 We\u2019ll be here for you, that will never change, you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what will I do?\u201d\u00a0 Adam released his fierce grip on his father and collapsed back onto the settee.\u00a0 \u201cAll I have ever done relies on my being able to see.\u00a0 The work around the ranch, doing the books, the designs…everything.\u201d\u00a0 He paused, thinking of a dark future.\u00a0 \u201cNot being able to read.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I can…\u201d He stopped, unable to continue.<\/p>\n

Ben took Adam\u2019s shoulders in his hands and held him firmly.\u00a0 \u201cNow listen to me.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know that your eyes are damaged, there\u2019s every chance that they will be all right.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you worrying about that until it happens.\u00a0 And if it does, you will cope.\u00a0 Adam, you are one of the strongest people I have ever known.\u00a0 You will manage just fine, because you won\u2019t allow it to be any other way.\u00a0 And remember that Paul said your sight might be damaged, he thinks it unlikely that you will lose it.\u00a0 You will still be able to see, just not as well as you\u2019re used to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI know Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 He rubbed his right hand down his face and took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 It was just hearing them say it, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s OK, son, I understand.\u201d\u00a0 Ben stood.\u00a0 \u201cNow, how about some supper?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss joined their father, but Adam remained seated.\u00a0 \u201cNo thanks, I seem to have lost my appetite suddenly.\u201d\u00a0 He forced a smile.\u00a0 \u201cCan\u2019t think why.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben put his hand comfortingly on Adam\u2019s shoulder, he knew that his son couldn\u2019t see his expression, and physical contact took its place.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get Hop Sing to make you something later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stayed on the settee while his family ate supper.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t listening to their conversation, there was too much going on in his head.\u00a0 He had told Ben that he was all right, but in truth he was scared.\u00a0 Paul had said that he \u2018thought it unlikely\u2019 he would lose his sight.\u00a0 But what if he couldn\u2019t see?\u00a0 What if he had to spend the rest of his life in perpetual darkness?\u00a0 He would be useless to his family, and himself.\u00a0 He had had two lives, one on the ranch, and the other as a student in college, qualifying him as an architect.\u00a0 Both required at least reasonable sight.\u00a0\u00a0 He tried to convince himself that he was satisfied to wait and see what happened when Paul took off the bandages.<\/p>\n

When that thought went through his head, Adam felt as though a mule had kicked him in the stomach.\u00a0 There it was again.\u00a0 So many times similar expressions were used.\u00a0 See you later, I\u2019ll see to it, go see to the horses, wait and see; the list was endless.\u00a0 Until he had hurt his eyes, he had not noticed them scattered through conversations.<\/p>\n

He was sitting, still contemplating how his world would be changed, when his brothers and father finished their meal, and came to sit with him.\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t see his eyes, and his face was an unreadable mask, but Adam was slowly sinking into a black pit of depression that would have had his father worried if he\u2019d known.\u00a0 He was thinking of Boston, and the Home for the Blind that he had visited with a friend, who worked part-time at the institution as a doctor.\u00a0 The people Adam had seen there came back to haunt him.\u00a0 Men and women of all ages, unable to fend for themselves, condemned to a life of darkness and isolation, helpless and alone, making their way around by feeling along the walls.\u00a0 No use to society or themselves, they had been abandoned by the world outside those walls.<\/p>\n

Adam determined that he wouldn\u2019t become a drain on his family, if he was useless to them he would leave, go away so that they wouldn\u2019t feel they had to watch over him, look after him.\u00a0 They had their own lives to lead, and he wouldn\u2019t burden them with his.<\/p>\n

He was startled out of his thoughts when Ben spoke to him.\u00a0 \u201cWould you like one of us to read something to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean because I can\u2019t,\u201d Adam said roughly.<\/p>\n

Ben tried to placate him.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s right, son.\u00a0 You can\u2019t, not for the moment, but you will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d\u00a0 Adam stood abruptly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to bed.\u201d\u00a0 He started for the stairs, and before Ben could get to his feet to help him, Adam walked hard into the newel post at the bottom of the staircase.\u00a0 He struck it with his knee and his injured shoulder, and doubled over as the pain hit him.\u00a0 Ben rushed to his side, to be joined by Hoss and Joe, but Adam shook off the hand that his father put out to help him.<\/p>\n

Hoss held Adam\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou OK?\u00a0 Let me help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was equally concerned.\u00a0 \u201cDid you hurt yourself?\u00a0 You must be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone!\u201d Adam cried.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need your pity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben took a firm hold of his son\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to help you whether you like it or not.\u201d\u00a0 They went up to the bedroom, where Adam sat on the bed and started to undress, while his father stood aside, ready to help if he was needed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs this how it\u2019s going to be?\u201d Adam asked bitterly, as he removed the sling from around his neck and dropped it untidily on the floor, and then unbuttoned his shirt.<\/p>\n

Ben bent to pick up the sling, and placed it on the chair before answering.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re concerned for you, because we love you, surely you can see that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t take off his shirt, but stretched out on his bed, covering his eyes in the crook of his elbow.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I can\u2019t \u2018see\u2019 anything, that\u2019s the point,\u201d he said miserably.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you listen to me,\u201d Ben said forcefully, \u201cthis time next week, you could be back to normal.\u00a0 Paul said that there was a good chance that your eyes would be perfectly all right.\u201d\u00a0 Ben sat on the bed, held Adam\u2019s hand and his voice softened.\u00a0 \u201cSon, this isn\u2019t like you, to give in without a fight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam shook his head and smiled thinly.\u00a0 \u201cI seem to be saying that a lot lately.\u00a0 But I am sorry, I shouldn\u2019t take it out on you, or Hoss, or Joe.\u00a0 I know you only mean well.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that I have never experienced anything like this.\u00a0 The helplessness that means I have to rely so completely on other people.\u00a0 And knowing that it might never end, that I might always be like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t tell you not to worry, but you should try to be positive.\u00a0 If the worst should happen, we will be here for you.\u00a0 You won\u2019t have to cope alone, that\u2019s what a family means, not just loving one another, but being there and caring, wanting to help.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was silence in the room for a full minute, and then Adam spoke softly, putting his arm under his head.\u00a0 \u201cAn old Lakota Sioux once quoted something to me from one of their legends.\u00a0 He said: \u2018Sometimes I go around pitying myself, and all the while I am being carried on great winds across the sky\u2019\u201d.\u00a0 Adam sat up and felt for his father\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you are that wind and I know you will carry me when I need it.\u201d\u00a0 He pulled Ben to him and embraced him fiercely.<\/p>\n

**********
\nIt was evening, five days later. They had been difficult days for all the family.\u00a0 Adam had tried, for his father\u2019s sake, to remain cheerful, but then he would descend into depression, and his family had no words to comfort him.\u00a0 Now he was restless, waiting for the doctor to appear.\u00a0 Paul had sent a message to say that he wouldn\u2019t be over until after dark, and the hours had dragged by.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what\u2019s the time?\u201d Adam asked, as he had so often that day.<\/p>\n

\u201cTen minutes later than the last time you asked.\u201d\u00a0 Ben sat on the settee next to his son.\u00a0 \u201cPaul won\u2019t be much longer, the sun has set, and it will soon be dark.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy couldn\u2019t he come this morning?\u201d Adam wondered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, but there must have been a very good reason, he knows how anxious you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a knock on the door, which made Adam jump.\u00a0 Joe rushed to answer it.\u00a0 \u201cHi Doc. We\u2019ve been waiting for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure.\u00a0 How are you Adam?\u201d asked Paul, walking towards his patient.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine.\u00a0 Can we get on with this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I want him upstairs, in his room.\u201d\u00a0 Ben nodded and Adam got to his feet and allowed his father to guide him.\u00a0 Paul followed them up the stairs and once Adam was seated on the side of the bed, Ben turned up the lamps.<\/p>\n

Paul put his hand on Adam\u2019s arm to get his attention.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I\u2019m going to take off the bandages.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry if you can\u2019t see anything at first, the room will be dark.\u00a0 Any light would hurt your eyes, remember that they have been covered for a week and it will take time for them to adjust.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I wanted to wait for it to be dark outside.\u00a0 The brightness of sunlight would be too much for you to begin with.\u00a0 I will turn the lamps up slowly to give you a chance to get used to the light.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam simply nodded.\u00a0 His heart was beating fast and hard in his chest, and he had to force himself to breathe normally.\u00a0 He reached out for his father\u2019s hand, and felt a reassuring squeeze as they made contact.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I take off the bandages, I want you to keep your eyes closed until I tell you, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, Adam nodded.\u00a0 Paul uncovered Adam\u2019s eyes and reached out to turn down the lamps, until the room was almost completely dark.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, open your eyes slowly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam hesitated, now the moment had come and there was no turning back.\u00a0 He cracked open his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember that you won\u2019t see anything at first, don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m going to turn up the lamp a little.\u00a0 Tell me what you see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened his eyes wider, but could only make out blurred shapes around him.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t see!\u00a0 There were only ill-defined colours.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I can\u2019t …\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul interrupted him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you must blink, to clear your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam held his breath and did as he was told.\u00a0 As Paul gradually turned up the lamp, Adam realised that he could see across the room.\u00a0 He blinked quickly several times, and suddenly everything came into sharp focus.\u00a0 Adam turned towards Ben.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t speak as he drank in the sight of his father standing beside him.\u00a0 Then he pulled himself up by the hand that held his and embraced his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I can see.\u00a0 Perfectly.\u201d\u00a0 Ben and his eldest son hugged each other for a long time, until Paul cleared his throat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I need to look at your eyes, just to check.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat down again and Paul examined him, then pronounced himself satisfied.\u00a0 He stood back.\u00a0 \u201cWell, as far as I can see there is no damage.\u00a0 They have healed very well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank God,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen to that,\u201d said Adam.\u00a0 \u201cThank you Paul.\u201d\u00a0 Adam held out his hand to the doctor, who shook it happily.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my pleasure.\u00a0 You are a very lucky young man, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at his father.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

They went downstairs together, to tell Joe and Hoss the good news.\u00a0 Ben poured them all a drink, and they toasted Adam\u2019s recovery and thanked their friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cI really didn\u2019t do anything.\u00a0 It\u2019s all down to that Cartwright constitution, you know, and the help you got from whoever it was that brought you home.\u00a0 That probably saved your sight,\u201d Paul said seriously.<\/p>\n

Adam looked round the room that he had come to know so intimately during the past week.\u00a0 He could hear the ticking of the clock by the front door, the chink of glasses as Ben poured more drinks, the sound of Hop Sing in the kitchen preparing a delayed supper.\u00a0 He shook his head in amazement; they were sounds that had always been there, sounds of his home.\u00a0 He looked at his family, thinking how close he had come to never seeing them again.\u00a0 Tears welled in his eyes, but he swallowed hard to force them away.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess I can fix that fence I was going to do last week,\u201d he said, looking down at his hands to check their condition, something that he had not been able to do until now.<\/p>\n

Ben went to him and put his hand on his son\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think you aught to?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was concerned that Adam might suffer some after effects from his injuries.\u00a0 The past week had been one of emotional turmoil for his usually composed eldest son, and Ben felt that he should get back to normal slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m fine, aren\u2019t I doc?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He turned to Paul.<\/p>\n

Paul looked from Adam to Ben and back again.\u00a0 \u201cYes, as far as I\u2019m concerned, you\u2019re perfectly fit.\u00a0 Your shoulder could take a while before you can use it properly, but otherwise there\u2019s nothing wrong with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou see Pa, Paul agrees with me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam thought about what he had just said.\u00a0 There it was again, the unthinking reference to sight, taken so lightly and yet so precious.<\/p>\n

Ben wouldn\u2019t give in.\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u00a0 But no fence mending, and only a little gentle riding,\u201d he said firmly.\u00a0 \u201cGive that shoulder time to heal.\u201d\u00a0 Ben hoped that would stop Adam from exerting himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, if it\u2019s all right with you,\u201d Adam said sarcastically, not liking the restriction of the limits his father was setting, \u201cI would like to go over to the old Mason place and thank Miss Carlisle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben noticed the tone of Adam\u2019s remark, but two could play that game.\u00a0 \u201cThat would be acceptable.\u201d\u00a0 He looked hard at Adam.\u00a0 Joe and Hoss waited for the explosion as their father and brother fought a verbal battle.\u00a0 They were both surprised to hear Adam chuckle; nothing could upset him tonight.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019re agreed.\u201d\u00a0 Adam turned towards them.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, brothers, looks like you\u2019re on your own for a bit longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul picked up his hat and made for the door.\u00a0 \u201cWell, now that\u2019s settled, I\u2019ll go do some real doctoring.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam saw Paul to the door and held out his hand.\u00a0 \u201cThanks again, doc.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul shook Adam\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cJust make sure you thank the person who bandaged your eyes in the first place, they\u2019re the one who saved your sight.\u00a0\u00a0 Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********
\nAdam rode slowly towards the Mason ranch, now the home of Miss Verity Carlisle.\u00a0 He was savouring not only the sights around him, which he had come close to never seeing again, but also the sounds and smells that filled the air.\u00a0 They gave a depth to his surroundings that he had not appreciated before.<\/p>\n

He pulled up, looking down the gentle slope towards the small, neat ranch house with its outbuildings, and the barn off to the right.\u00a0 He spotted the figure of a woman in the yard, and thought that she must be his rescuer.\u00a0 He kicked Sport into motion, but was surprised as the figure looked round and, seeing a horse approach, ran into the house.\u00a0 Adam pulled up and dismounted slowly, not sure what to make of what he had seen.\u00a0 He remembered the gossip in town about this woman being a recluse.\u00a0 Did she really shun human contact?\u00a0 Surely not.\u00a0 She had helped him when he was in trouble, which was not the act of someone who actively disliked other people.<\/p>\n

Adam walked slowly up the two steps that led to the front door.\u00a0 He raised his hand and knocked.<\/p>\n

Inside the house Verity was standing in the middle of the room, not moving.\u00a0 She had heard the sound of a horse and had hurried into the house before she had a chance to see who was approaching.\u00a0 Now she could see through the window that it was the man who had said his name was Adam Cartwright.\u00a0 What was he doing there, what did he want?\u00a0 Verity thought that if she remained quiet, he would give up and go away.\u00a0\u00a0 She heard the knock come again, but still did not move.\u00a0 After a long time she heard his footsteps retreat down the steps, and she went cautiously to the window to watch him leave.<\/p>\n

Adam stood back from the house, looking round.\u00a0 He noticed movement at one of the windows and again went to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Carlisle, are you there?\u201d he called, but got no reply.\u00a0 \u201cI just wanted a word with you.\u00a0 Won\u2019t you let me in?\u00a0 I assure you I mean you no harm, I just wanted to thank you for helping me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam waited but still there was no sound from inside the house.\u00a0 He backed away and turned to his horse.\u00a0 He collected the reins, mounted, and with a glance over his shoulder, he rode away.<\/p>\n

That night at supper, he told his family what had happened.\u00a0 \u201cI know she was there, but she wouldn\u2019t come to the door.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked thoughtful.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, some people don\u2019t like strangers.\u00a0 Perhaps she was afraid to open the door.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut she must have known who I was, and she certainly wasn\u2019t afraid of me when she helped me,\u201d Adam argued.<\/p>\n

Hoss laughed.\u00a0 \u201cPerhaps she didn\u2019t like the look of you when you was all cleaned up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, or maybe she thought that you had ungentlemanly intentions,\u201d said Joe, dramatically fingering an imaginary moustache.<\/p>\n

Adam smiled.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, brothers, for your helpful suggestions.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He turned again to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cBut I still don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey say in town that she\u2019s a recluse.\u00a0 Perhaps she simply didn\u2019t want company,\u201d Ben reasoned.<\/p>\n

Adam looked thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, maybe, but I think I\u2019ll try again tomorrow.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t mind Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was pleased that Adam was taking his time to recover and agreed.<\/p>\n

The following morning found Adam again approaching the Mason ranch.\u00a0 As he rode into the yard, an elderly man stopped him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat ya doin\u2019 here?\u201d he asked, peering up at the stranger on his horse.<\/p>\n

Adam looked down, seeing a man in his mid fifties, slightly bent and whose eyes were screwed up with the effort of staring upwards into the bright sky.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve come to see Miss Carlisle\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she don\u2019t want visitors, so ya can jest turn around and ride outta here.\u201d\u00a0 The man stood in front of Sport, barring the way.\u00a0 If Adam wanted to continue, he would have to either ride round the man, or through him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019d rather hear that from Miss Carlisle herself.\u201d\u00a0 Adam dismounted and stood in front of the little man, who tried to make himself big enough to stop this interloper from venturing further.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Carlisle don\u2019t talk to nobody.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019d like to talk to her.\u201d\u00a0 Adam held the man by both shoulders and moved him gently, but firmly, aside, advancing towards the house.\u00a0 He went up the steps and knocked, but just as the day before, there was no reaction.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Carlisle,\u201d Adam called, \u201cplease will you answer the door?\u201d\u00a0 Silence was the only reply.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve only come to thank you for what you did for me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked at the windows on either side of the door, but saw no movement.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t you at least speak to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

He heard a noise inside the house, then a voice from the other side of the closed door.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright, I hear you.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy to see that you are recovered, but please leave, now.\u00a0 I don\u2019t welcome visitors.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam considered this remark.\u00a0 \u201cBut Miss Carlisle…Verity, I don\u2019t even know what you look like.\u00a0 Won\u2019t you at least grant me that?\u00a0 You saved my sight; I think you owe me the privilege of seeing the person who rescued me.\u201d\u00a0 There was silence, and Adam was about to turn away and leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cI owe you nothing.\u00a0 Please go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery well.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll be back.\u00a0 I don\u2019t give up that easily.\u201d\u00a0 Adam returned to his horse and rode away.\u00a0 The short conversation he had had was running through his mind as he made his way back home.<\/p>\n

Once in the house he went up to his room, collected a book and rode back to the Mason ranch.\u00a0 This time the little man was nowhere in sight, and no one stopped him from approaching the house.\u00a0 He knocked and, as expected, received no reply.\u00a0 He sat down on the top step, and pulled from his jacket pocket the small volume that he had brought with him.\u00a0 Adam flicked through the pages until he found what he was looking for, and began to read aloud.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo, lovely Rose!<\/em>
\nTell her what wastes her time and me,<\/em>
\nThat now she knows,<\/em>
\nWhen I resemble her to thee,<\/em>
\nHow sweet and fair she seems to be.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tell her that\u2019s young<\/em>
\nAnd shuns to have her graces spied,<\/em>
\nThat hadst thou sprung<\/em>
\nIn deserts, where no men abide,<\/em>
\nThou must have uncommended died.<\/em><\/p>\n

Small is the worth<\/em>
\nOf beauty from the light retired.<\/em>
\nBid her come forth,<\/em>
\nSuffer herself to be desired,<\/em>
\nAnd not blush so to be admired.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then die!\u00a0 That she,<\/em>
\nThe common fate of all things rare<\/em>
\nMay read in thee;<\/em>
\nHow small a part of time they share<\/em>
\nThey are so wonderous sweet and fair!\u00a0 (3)<\/em>
\nVerity sat inside the house listening to the words he said.\u00a0 His voice was deep and mellow as he read, giving meaning to the verse.\u00a0 She ran over the words in her head.\u00a0 He compared her to a desert rose flowering in solitude, said that she shuns to have her graces spied, and \u2018from the light retired\u2019.<\/p>\n

Suddenly anger rose in her.\u00a0 How dare he come here and read poetry to her, not knowing how it hurt her to hear the words.\u00a0 What did he know of her that he would dare to try to force her into the light?\u00a0 Well, he would find out what an injustice he had done!<\/p>\n

She strode to the door and flung it open, then retreated.\u00a0 Adam turned and stared at the door, surprised by the sudden movement.\u00a0 He closed the book and slipped it back into his pocket, then he got to his feet and, seeing no one in the open doorway, approached it slowly.<\/p>\n

A voice from inside spoke loudly.\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried to make you go away, to leave me alone.\u00a0 But you come here and try to force me to let you in.\u00a0 Very well, you\u2019ve got your way.\u201d\u00a0 She saw Adam stand uncertainly in the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cCome in, that\u2019s what you want, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam hesitated as he took off his hat.\u00a0 The room beyond the door was dark and he could see no one inside.\u00a0 He was taken aback by her reaction; he had not intended to upset her, only to get her to see that he meant her no harm, and that she would be safe if she would just meet him.\u00a0 Verity was on the far side of the dining table, which was placed at one side of the room.\u00a0 She was half turned away from him, facing the fireplace, and she reached out with her left hand to turn up the lamp that stood between them.\u00a0 A soft light filled the room as Adam advanced slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss…\u201d he started, then tried again.\u00a0 \u201cVerity, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to upset you.\u00a0 I only wanted to thank you.\u201d\u00a0 He looked at her profile, seeing the dark auburn hair, the fine nose and full mouth, the pale cream of the skin of her long neck that led his eyes down to her slim, full figure encased in a peach-coloured dress.\u00a0\u00a0 He drew his breath in as he realised that she was beautiful, standing straight and proud.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas that all you meant!\u201d\u00a0 Her voice was still raised in anger.\u00a0 \u201cWell, perhaps if I show you the truth, you will go away as I requested.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned towards him and Adam stood transfixed as he looked at her.\u00a0 Where one side of her face was beautiful, the other was its exact opposite.\u00a0 The skin of the right side was red and puckered with scarring, the eye half closed beneath a deformed eyebrow.\u00a0 Adam held his breath, not trusting himself to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you know why I hide myself away,\u201d she said harshly.\u00a0 \u201cYour reaction is the same one I have met a hundred times over.\u00a0\u00a0 I have decided that I will expose myself to it no more.\u00a0 I do not need a world where I am reviled and shunned.\u201d\u00a0 Her voice softened.\u00a0 \u201cNow you know, perhaps you will go and leave me alone.\u00a0 All I ask in return for my helping you, is that you tell no one about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam paused for a heartbeat, then dropped his hat on the table and moved to put his hands on Verity\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 Please forgive me.\u201d\u00a0 He looked into her face unflinching, and she could see the sincerity in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cHow you must have suffered, people can be very cruel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity pulled away from him.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need your pity, any more than I want your company.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked stunned for a moment.\u00a0 Pity!\u00a0 He remembered shouting at his family that he didn\u2019t want their pity, yet now he was giving it to this woman.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Carlisle, may I stay for a while.\u00a0 I promise that I will not pity you,\u201d he smiled, \u201cnor will I read you any more poetry.\u201d<\/p>\n

She heard the laughter in his voice and, after a pause, said, \u201cVery well, and I don\u2019t mind if you call me Verity.\u201d<\/p>\n

They stood uncertainly until Adam asked, \u201cMay I have some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity nodded and went into the kitchen.\u00a0 Adam followed her and leaned against the doorpost, folding his arms across his chest.\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t fair not to warn me, you know.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t expect me to react any other way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity turned to face him, and saw that he didn’t look away, but held her gaze.\u00a0 She regretted her earlier outburst.\u00a0 “I know, I’m sorry.\u00a0 I was angry that you wouldn’t go away, that you thought you knew what was best for me.”<\/p>\n

“I was wrong, of course.”\u00a0 Adam smiled to himself and Verity saw the look.<\/p>\n

“Why is that amusing?”<\/p>\n

“Because if my brothers heard me admit that I was wrong, they would never let me forget it.”<\/p>\n

“Are you always right, then?” She raised one eyebrow in question.<\/p>\n

“Not always, but don’t tell them that.”<\/p>\n

Verity asked Adam about his family, and they sat at the dining table while Adam told her about his brothers and father, and the ranch.\u00a0 When Adam thought that she had relaxed and got used to him being there, he asked about her injuries.<\/p>\n

“What happened?\u00a0 To your face, I mean.”<\/p>\n

Verity looked as though she wasn’t going to answer, and then started very quietly to explain.\u00a0 “It was nearly two years ago.\u00a0 I lived with my parents in Denver.\u00a0 One night there was a fire at our house, my parents were killed, but a neighbour pulled me from the flames, saved my life.\u00a0 I’m not sure that he did me any kindness.\u00a0 I was looked after by a friend of my parents, and was ill for many months.\u00a0 When I was recovered, I found the world a very different place from the one I had known.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity stood and went to the window.\u00a0 After gazing out at the sunlit yard for a moment she turned back to face the first person she had allowed into her house, and saw him observing her closely but with no hint of repulsion.\u00a0 \u201cI was once considered something of a beauty.\u00a0 I had gentlemen courting me and went to parties and dinners.\u00a0 Then suddenly people were frightened of my appearance, they would not look at me, or worse, turned away from me.\u00a0 I decided that the isolation I could find in the west was the best thing, and I came here, where there are few people to look on me, and I can avoid even those few who would.\u00a0 Matthew keeps the place for me, tends to the animals.\u00a0 I have little need of money here, and my parents were quite well off; I have more than enough for my simple needs.\u00a0 I find that I quite enjoy the solitude out here, even though it is so different from Denver.”<\/p>\n

“Verity, I’m…” Adam stopped and glanced down at the cup in his hand.\u00a0 He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for what she had suffered, but realised that she wouldn’t welcome his regret for something that he had had no control over.\u00a0 Instead he looked up and smiled at her.\u00a0 “The Ponderosa is a very big spread, and there are few people there, just the hands and my family.\u00a0 Would you let me show it to you, perhaps tomorrow?\u00a0 We need see no one else, I know places where no one goes, and you would be free from prying eyes, free to enjoy this country that you want to make your home.”<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what about your work?\u00a0 You have told me how you help your father run the ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019s determined that, because of my accident, I take it easy for a while, and it will suit me to humour him for another day, if I can spend it with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity returned to sit at the table.\u00a0 Dare she let herself enjoy this man\u2019s company, let him into her life?\u00a0 She looked up into his warm, brown eyes.\u00a0 “I think I would like that very much.”<\/p>\n

“Then I will pick you up in the morning.”\u00a0 Adam stood and picked up his hat.\u00a0 Verity rose with him and stood by the door.\u00a0 As Adam passed her, he took her hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently.\u00a0 “I meant what I said, about coming to thank you.”<\/p>\n

“It was little enough to do for someone in trouble.\u00a0 Goodbye.”\u00a0 She shut the door slowly.<\/p>\n

**********
\nThey sat side by side in the buggy as Adam drove them higher into the mountains.\u00a0 He let the horse walk, allowing Verity to take in the breathtaking scenery that was his home.<\/p>\n

Verity looked about her, amazed at the country she was seeing for the first time.\u00a0 In the few weeks since she had moved to Nevada, she had seldom ventured far from her small ranch in daylight, and had not appreciated the beauty that was to be found there.\u00a0 The forests and lakes, the meadows and streams, and over it all, the mountains.<\/p>\n

“Oh Adam, it’s beautiful,” she said.\u00a0 “I have not seen much of this country.\u00a0 I go out sometimes in the early morning, when no one is about, which is how I found you, but I never go far from the ranch.\u00a0 I hadn’t imagined there was so much wonderful country here.”<\/p>\n

Adam smiled, pleased that she liked it as much as he did.\u00a0 “Yes, we’re very lucky to live in a place like this.\u00a0 But there’s one spot I want to show you, we’ll be there soon.”\u00a0 Adam drove the horse into a faster pace and half an hour later pulled to a halt.\u00a0 He helped Verity down from the buggy and guided her through the trees to the edge of a bluff.\u00a0 Spread out below them they could see the blue waters of Lake Tahoe glistening in the sunlight, rippled here and there by the breeze.\u00a0 Beyond the lake, the far shore was coloured darkest green by more pine trees, and rising from them, as though growing from the forest itself, the mountains.<\/p>\n

Verity turned to Adam, her eyes sparkling with the wonder of the sight.\u00a0 “Thank you for letting me come here.”<\/p>\n

Adam did not reply, but put his arm around her shoulders as he looked out over the lake.\u00a0 “It’s one of my favourite views.\u00a0 I come here when I have something I need to think about.”\u00a0 Adam became thoughtful, he had wondered if he would ever see this again.\u00a0 “Seeing all this makes any problems I might have seem very small and insignificant.\u00a0 It puts things in perspective.”\u00a0 Verity leaned against him, comfortable in the company of this man, and they stood silently for a long time, until Adam sighed and turned away.\u00a0 “Well, I’m hungry.”\u00a0 He made his way to the back of the buggy and brought out a hamper that had been prepared for him by Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

“What’s this?” asked Verity coming up behind him.<\/p>\n

“Only the best picnic you ever had,” said Adam proudly.<\/p>\n

“Oh, I don’t know,” she teased.\u00a0 “We had some mighty fine picnics in Denver.\u00a0 We would go to the park or out of the city into the hills, and have cold chicken and salads, and glazed fruits, cheeses and wine.\u00a0 And music, always there was music.”<\/p>\n

“Do you like music?” Adam spread a rug on the ground, sat down, and started to unload the hamper.<\/p>\n

“Yes.\u00a0 I used to sing for my family, or to entertain guests.”\u00a0 Suddenly Verity looked sad.\u00a0 “I haven’t sung since…”<\/p>\n

“Why not?”<\/p>\n

Verity sat on the ground beside Adam, spreading the deep red material of her skirts around herself as she settled.\u00a0 “I haven’t had much cause to want to sing.\u00a0 I used to give singing lessons to children when I lived in Denver.\u00a0 It was wonderful to be able to take a voice that was thin and uncertain, and turn it into something beautiful, full of confidence and meaning.”\u00a0 Verity’s voice was wistful, as she remembered those far off days.\u00a0 “But that’s gone; no one would want lessons from me now.”<\/p>\n

“You could be wrong, you know,” Adam said, knowing that she probably wasn’t.<\/p>\n

“But experience has told me that I’m right.\u00a0 You can’t know what it’s like, I don’t expect you to.”<\/p>\n

Adam moved towards Verity and held her shoulders.\u00a0 “Verity, I know that you don’t want pity, and that’s not what I mean when I say that someone as young and intelligent as you shouldn’t have had to go through what you have.\u00a0 But don’t let it take away your life.\u00a0 Don’t let it control you, the world is still there, at least all the parts of it that you used to enjoy; the beauty, the music and even the laughter.”\u00a0 He looked into her eyes and suddenly leaned forward and kissed her gently.\u00a0 She did not pull away but nor did she respond.\u00a0 When he lifted his eyes to look at her, she eased herself from his grip.<\/p>\n

“Adam, don’t do this if you don’t mean it.”<\/p>\n

“What?”\u00a0\u00a0 He was bewildered by her reaction.<\/p>\n

“Don’t pretend that my appearance makes no difference to you.\u00a0 I can see that you are a handsome man; you could have any woman you want.\u00a0 Don’t feel that you have to try to make me feel normal.\u00a0 Kissing a girl may be what you would usually do in this situation, but I know that you don’t intend that it should go any further.”<\/p>\n

Adam stared at her.\u00a0 What was he feeling?\u00a0 Had he kissed her out of pity, because no man would look at her?\u00a0 Or, perhaps, out of gratitude for what she had done.<\/p>\n

“Verity, I’m sorry.\u00a0 I didn’t mean to upset you.\u00a0 I guess I just did what came naturally.”\u00a0 He laughed and, after a heartbeat, she laughed with him.<\/p>\n

The kiss was forgotten as they sat together, sampling the delights of Hop Sing’s picnic basket.<\/p>\n

“I’m afraid there’s no chicken.\u00a0 Round here we tend to eat a lot of beef.”\u00a0 He smiled at her.\u00a0 “But we do have salads, and fruit and cheese.”\u00a0 He reached into the basket.\u00a0 “And, I do believe, a bottle of Pa’s finest Chablis,” he said, triumphantly pulling a slender green bottle from the depths.\u00a0 Adam poured them both a glass, and then held his up in salute.\u00a0 “To my rescuer, who gave me the gift of sight, and to my little adventure, which gave me the gift of darkness.”<\/p>\n

Verity frowned.\u00a0 “What do you mean?”<\/p>\n

“Listen,” he commanded.\u00a0 Verity was about to speak, but Adam held his finger to his lips to silence her.\u00a0 She stayed still and listened to the quiet around them.<\/p>\n

Finally, Verity could bear it no longer.\u00a0 “What am I listening to?”<\/p>\n

“Now shut your eyes and listen.”\u00a0 When Verity closed her eyes, she could hear the noises that had escaped her.\u00a0 The squeaking of a chipmunk in the tree above her, the songs of the birds, and very faintly behind it all, the lapping of the waves on the shore of the lake.<\/p>\n

They opened their eyes and looked at each other in mutual understanding.\u00a0 “That’s extraordinary,” said Verity, “you can hear so much more with your eyes shut.”<\/p>\n

“One thing I have learnt from a week of not being able to see is that there is so much more to the world, that we ignore.\u00a0 It taught me to look past what is seen, to notice other things, like sounds.\u00a0 Verity, when you stopped to help me, I had no clue as to what you looked like; all I knew was your voice, and your kindness.\u00a0 I hope that you believe me when I tell you that seeing you now, I feel no different.”\u00a0 Adam took hold of Verity’s hands in his.\u00a0 “Inside you there is beauty and intelligence and goodness.\u00a0 The exterior cannot change that, if you don’t let it.\u00a0 Go out into the world, face those who would turn away, make them look at you, see the person that you really are.”<\/p>\n

Verity pulled away from him and stood, going to look again at the view.\u00a0 She turned back and her eyes were blazing.\u00a0 “How dare you tell me to face the world?\u00a0 What do you know of how I have suffered?”<\/p>\n

Adam rose to join her.\u00a0 “I don’t know, I can’t know, but I know that hiding yourself away from the world will destroy you.\u00a0 How long do you think you can live here before the curious seek you out?\u00a0 Then what will you do, run away again?”<\/p>\n

“I will do what I must, leave if that is the only way, find somewhere else.\u00a0 I will not be laughed at like some circus attraction, to frighten the children and provide a side show for adults.\u00a0 Nor will I be pitied.\u00a0 I will live my life as I choose, and neither you nor anyone else has the right to force me to do otherwise.”\u00a0 Verity walked towards the buggy.\u00a0 “I would like you to take me home now.”<\/p>\n

Adam hesitated.\u00a0 “Verity…I’m sorry.\u00a0 I was only thinking of you.\u00a0 You shouldn’t have to hide yourself away.”<\/p>\n

“No, I shouldn’t.\u00a0 But most people can’t see what you see.\u00a0 Until they do I will protect myself from them the only way I know how.\u00a0 If you want to call it hiding, that’s up to you, I prefer to think that I am keeping myself from their ignorance.”<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, knowing that she was right.\u00a0 They went slowly back to her home, where Adam helped her down from the buggy, but did not release her as her feet touched the ground.<\/p>\n

“May I come and see you tomorrow?”<\/p>\n

Verity looked up into his eyes.\u00a0 “On one condition.”<\/p>\n

“Oh?”<\/p>\n

“That you don’t mention trying to get me back into the world.”<\/p>\n

Adam laughed and held up his right hand.\u00a0 “I promise.”\u00a0 He leant down, brushed her cheek with his lips, then got into the buggy and drove away, still smiling to himself.<\/p>\n

**********
\nAdam insisted that he was fit enough to resume his duties around the ranch, but still Ben resisted and rode with him when he went to check on the men cutting timber on the south ridge.<\/p>\n

When they returned, Adam ate a quick supper and rose from the table.\u00a0 “Do you mind if I don’t stay, I want to get over to Verity’s place?\u00a0 I promised that I would see her tonight.”<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss, who were still seated at the table, looked up.<\/p>\n

“When are we going to get to meet this mysterious lady?” asked Joe.<\/p>\n

Adam had not told his family of Verity’s disfigurement, and was about to tell Joe that it was none of his business, but Hoss spoke.\u00a0 “Yeah, you seem to be spending a powerful lot of time with her, bet she’s real pretty, huh?”<\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath.\u00a0 “Who I spend my time with is none of your affair and I’ll thank you to keep your remarks to yourself,” he said abruptly.<\/p>\n

“Adam!” said Ben, “that is no way to talk to your brothers.”<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry, Pa, but I think I’m old enough to decide who I spend time with, without being questioned about it.”\u00a0 He turned on his heels, went up the stairs, and returning a minute later, guitar in hand, picked up his hat and gun belt, and left.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to his father.\u00a0 “Pa?\u00a0 What’s got into him?”<\/p>\n

Ben was thoughtful.\u00a0 “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t push him.\u00a0 There’s something he’s not telling us, but he’s right, it’s none of our business, so I’ll thank you to leave him alone.”\u00a0 He received hesitant agreement from both his boys, but was concerned.\u00a0 It wasn’t like Adam to be secretive about his relationships, and his reaction told Ben that something was wrong.<\/p>\n

Adam knocked on the door of Verity’s house and it was opened immediately.<\/p>\n

“Adam!\u00a0 I thought that you had changed your mind.”<\/p>\n

Adam entered and took off his hat, laying it on the table. “No, I just got held up.”\u00a0 He remembered his frustration with his father, who, having insisted on accompanying him for the day, would ride only slowly, forcing his son into a relaxed pace.\u00a0 Adam slipped his guitar off his shoulders, and saw Verity’s curious look.\u00a0 “I thought you might like some music,” he explained.<\/p>\n

“Oh, that would be wonderful.\u00a0 Let me get you some coffee first though.”\u00a0 She disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Adam looking round the room.\u00a0 He spied some photographs on a side table and went over to them.\u00a0 He picked up one that showed a couple in a formal pose; the man seated, the woman standing at his side.\u00a0 He took it into the kitchen.<\/p>\n

“Are these your parents?” he ventured.\u00a0 Verity came over and took the picture from him.<\/p>\n

“Yes, this was taken on their thirtieth wedding anniversary.”\u00a0 Her face softened as she added, “They were killed three weeks later.”\u00a0 She handed the picture back to Adam, put the coffee pot on a tray, with two cups, and carried it into the parlour.\u00a0 She sat on the settee in front of the fire, and poured for both of them.<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Verity curiously.\u00a0 “Do you have any other family?”<\/p>\n

She shook her head.\u00a0 “None.\u00a0 Or none that wanted someone like me.\u00a0 They didn’t want the whispers and curious stares that I would have brought to their house.”<\/p>\n

“I’m…I’m sorry.”\u00a0 He didn’t know what else to say, and waited for the expected rebuke.<\/p>\n

“Yes, so am I.”\u00a0 Verity turned and smiled at him.\u00a0 “Play me something.”<\/p>\n

Adam picked up his guitar, and after testing the freshly healed cuts on his hands, started to run his fingers over the strings, and he began humming quietly.<\/p>\n

“What is that tune?” Verity asked.<\/p>\n

“It’s an old ballad.\u00a0 I learned it while I was at college.\u00a0 I shared rooms with an Englishman, who knew a lot of old songs.”\u00a0 Adam began to sing the words:<\/p>\n

“Behold a wonder here!<\/em>
\nLove hath received his sight!<\/em>
\nWhich many hundred years<\/em>
\nHath not beheld the light.<\/em><\/p>\n

Such beams infus’ed be<\/em>
\nBy Cynthia in his eyes,<\/em>
\nAt first have made him see<\/em>
\nAnd then have made him wise.<\/em><\/p>\n

Love now no more will weep<\/em>
\nFor them that laugh the while!<\/em>
\nNor wake for them that sleep,<\/em>
\nNor sigh for them that smile!<\/em><\/p>\n

So powerful is the Beauty<\/em>
\nThat Love doth now behold,<\/em>
\nAs Love is turned to Duty<\/em>
\nThat’s neither blind nor bold.<\/em><\/p>\n

Thus beauty shows her might<\/em>
\nTo be of double kind;<\/em>
\nIn giving Love his sight<\/em>
\nAnd striking Folly blind.”\u00a0\u00a0 (4)<\/em>
\nAdam continued to play the slow, soft tune, and Verity knew that he had not chosen that particular song at random.\u00a0 He was telling her again that he could see past her deformity to the person beneath, that sight was so much more than merely seeing.<\/p>\n

“Adam, you have a lovely voice.”<\/p>\n

“Thank you, but I would like to hear you sing.”<\/p>\n

“Oh, I don’t know…” The look on Adam’s face said he would not be refused.\u00a0 She held out her hands and he passed the instrument to her.\u00a0 Verity settled herself and, as she began to play, Adam realised how talented she was.\u00a0 The notes floated into the air, filling the room, soft at first, then louder and livelier as she became more confident.\u00a0 She started to sing, and her pure, clear voice made the hairs on Adam’s neck stand up, as she ran through a medley of lost love, beautiful mountains, and lonely travellers, never ending one song, but running it into the next.\u00a0 As she finished, Adam stared at her, not wanting to break the spell she had cast in the room.<\/p>\n

“Oh, Adam, thank you.\u00a0 I didn’t know how much I missed my music.”\u00a0 She held out the guitar, but Adam did not reach to take it from her.<\/p>\n

“No, I would like you to keep it.”\u00a0 Verity shook her head, but Adam insisted.\u00a0 “I want you to have it.\u00a0 It deserves a better home that I can give it, better hands than mine to play it.\u00a0 Take it, please.”<\/p>\n

“If you’re sure, I would love to.\u00a0 Thank you.”<\/p>\n

They sat for a while longer, occasionally singing a tune together, but Adam sang softly, taking more pleasure from hearing Verity sing.\u00a0 Sometimes they would join together in a ditty that left them both laughing, and the uninjured side of Verity’s face lit up with pleasure.\u00a0 Adam realised that it made the scarred side more apparent, as it did not change its expression, and he found it harder to look at her without seeing the ravages left by the fire.\u00a0 But if Verity noticed, she said nothing.\u00a0 Eventually he rose and said he must be going.<\/p>\n

“I’m supposed to mark some timber tomorrow, so it’s an early start.”\u00a0 Adam stretched as he spoke, he had to admit that the day’s riding had taken its toll and he was not looking forward to the hours he would spend blazing the trees the following day, if his father would let him do it.<\/p>\n

“Thank you for coming.\u00a0 I’ve had a wonderful evening,” said Verity.<\/p>\n

“I’ll be spending tomorrow night in the mountains, but may I come on Saturday?”<\/p>\n

“Of course.”\u00a0 Verity paused, then continued.\u00a0 “Adam, I hope that you don’t feel that you have to visit.”<\/p>\n

“Don’t be silly, I want to come.”\u00a0 He leaned down and kissed her cheek in a gesture that was becoming a habit.\u00a0 She waved to him as he rode away, then shut the door and leaned back against it.\u00a0 She sighed, she enjoyed his visits, but knew that eventually they would cease.\u00a0 Other things would take over; he had a life to live that didn’t include her.\u00a0 He was kind and thoughtful, but there could never be more between them than friendship, though she would treasure that while it lasted.<\/p>\n

As Adam entered the house, all was quiet; it seemed that his family had retired for the night.\u00a0 He was grateful, he didn’t want to face any more questions from them.\u00a0 He went to the small table beside the stairs and poured himself a brandy, then sat on the settee drinking it slowly, thinking about Verity.\u00a0 What did he feel towards her?\u00a0 He knew that at that moment he didn’t feel love, so what was it that attracted him to her?\u00a0 Was it gratitude, or pity, or something else?\u00a0 Was it possible that he felt simple friendship…with a woman?\u00a0 He had never thought of having a woman as a friend.\u00a0 Acquaintance, certainly, he had many of those, but a woman that he could confide in, and trust?\u00a0 No, that had never occurred to him.<\/p>\n

He was startled out of his thoughts by footsteps on the stairs.\u00a0 He looked up to see his father making his way down into the room.\u00a0 Ben poured himself a drink and another for Adam.\u00a0 He set the glasses on the low table in front of the settee and sat down in the blue armchair beside the dying fire.<\/p>\n

“Well, do you want to tell me about it, or are you going to tell me it’s none of my business?” Ben asked pointedly.<\/p>\n

“Pa, I’m sorry for what I said earlier.\u00a0 None of you deserved that, I know.”\u00a0 Ben could see a troubled look in his son’s eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 He sipped the brandy slowly, wondering how to get Adam to tell him what was bothering him.\u00a0 But his son didn’t wait for the questions.\u00a0 “I’ve been trying to sort out how I feel about Verity.”<\/p>\n

“Oh?”\u00a0 Ben waited.<\/p>\n

“You said that she was a recluse who probably didn’t welcome company.\u00a0 Well, she has every right to be so.”\u00a0 Ben raised his eyebrows in silent question.\u00a0 “She had a terrible accident that left her disfigured.\u00a0 She came here to get away, to free herself from the reaction of those who saw her.\u00a0 No one in town knows, and I think she’s right to keep it that way.\u00a0 Please don’t tell Joe or Hoss, I know they might not mean to, but if they said anything, I could never forgive myself.\u00a0 People would start to get curious and seek her out, that’s just human nature.\u00a0 Then she would have to leave.”<\/p>\n

“And you would miss her?”<\/p>\n

“Yes.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hesitated, and then glanced sideways at his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa, have you ever had a woman as a friend?”<\/p>\n

Ben looked in sudden understanding at his son.\u00a0 “Yes, I have.\u00a0 And you will find that a woman can be just as true a friend as a man, more so.\u00a0 Women are better at understanding your problems, being sympathetic to your failings, they revel in your happiness and comfort you in your sadness.\u00a0 You may not take them for a night in the saloon, but when you need someone to talk to, there is no one better.\u00a0 Believe me, I know.”<\/p>\n

Adam smiled at his father.\u00a0 “I do believe you.\u00a0 It’s just that I have never thought of a woman that way before.”\u00a0 He sipped his brandy.\u00a0 “I feel I want to help her, but I’m not sure I know how.”<\/p>\n

“Adam, I know you, if there is a way to help her, you’ll find it.\u00a0 Now, go to bed, you look tired.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah,” Adam rose, “Goodnight, Pa, and thank you.”<\/p>\n

“‘Night son.”\u00a0 Ben watched as Adam climbed the stairs wearily, knowing that his son would not be happy until he had done all he could for his friend.<\/p>\n

Adam sat in bed reading, but his eyes were not focused on the words in front of him, he was thinking of Verity and how he could help her.\u00a0 As his mind wandered his eyes started to close, and in the twilight world between waking and sleeping, a thought came to him that forced his eyes open again.\u00a0 He sat up as the idea took shape, and he rose and went to his desk, where he wrote a letter, carefully worded to explain Verity’s situation and her abilities.\u00a0 He sealed it, planning to mail it in Virginia City the following morning before going up into the forest to start work on the trees.\u00a0 With that done, and his mind at rest, he settled back into bed and was instantly asleep.<\/p>\n

**********
\n“But Pa, I have to do it.\u00a0 I’m the only one who knows the timber we need,\u201d Adam argued.<\/p>\n

Ben was reluctant to let his son resume his normal tasks so soon.\u00a0 He had seen the torment Adam had gone through at the prospect of blindness, and for no rational reason, other than being a parent, Ben wanted to protect him.\u00a0 He put it down to the fact that he had been shocked to see how it had affected his normally strong eldest son.<\/p>\n

“It really doesn’t have to be done for another week,” Ben said, “why don’t you leave it, then Joe can go with you.\u00a0 I know you and Hoss were going on the drive to Sacramento, but Hoss can do it alone.”<\/p>\n

Adam drew a deep breath.\u00a0 “OK, that’s enough!” he said loudly; his jaw was clenched as he tried to control himself.\u00a0 “I don’t need someone to look after me.\u00a0 Either I go back to work as normal, or I find somewhere that I can.\u00a0 It’s up to you.”<\/p>\n

Ben approached Adam and put his hand on his son’s shoulder.\u00a0 “I’m only thinking of you, son.”<\/p>\n

Adam shook off the hand and walked away, then turned, his eyes blazing.\u00a0 “No you’re not.\u00a0 You’re thinking of yourself.”\u00a0 He walked back to stand in front of Ben and his voice softened.\u00a0 “I know you mean well, but can’t you see that you’re being over-protective.\u00a0 Yes, something may happen, I may get hurt, but I could just as easily get hurt riding into town.\u00a0 This can’t go on, I won’t let it.”<\/p>\n

Ben’s shoulders slumped.\u00a0 “All right, have it your way.”\u00a0 He looked deep into Adam’s eyes, seeing in them the boy he had raised to manhood.\u00a0 “But promise me you’ll be careful.”<\/p>\n

Adam relaxed, “Of course I will.”\u00a0 He turned and picked up the saddlebags that he had prepared.\u00a0 “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”\u00a0 He turned back to his father and smiled, “And quit worrying, will you?”\u00a0 With a wave over his shoulder, he was gone.<\/p>\n

Adam went, as he had planned, into Virginia City, then rode up into the mountains until he found the section of forest he had already selected as containing the trees they would need.\u00a0 He set up camp and started to mark the trees, cutting a notch in each one that was suitable.\u00a0 Once, as he slammed the small axe into the trunk of a tree, pieces of bark flew off and hit him in the face.\u00a0 He stopped, stunned.\u00a0 Such a thing had happened many times in the past, but he had taken no notice of it.\u00a0 But now he hesitated, finding that he was reluctant to drive the axe into the tree in front of him.\u00a0 Having come so close to losing his sight, he realised what he was risking.\u00a0 He shook his head; what with his father’s worrying and now his own sudden reluctance to do his job, he would be useless to his family.<\/p>\n

Adam breathed heavily several times and forced himself to continue.\u00a0 He went slowly at first, taking care with each stroke, but soon he was striking the trees angrily.\u00a0 He would not allow himself to be dictated to, either by his father or the chance of hurting himself.\u00a0 He was sweating and his hand and arm were sore from the repeated blows, but he did not stop until it was too dark to see what he was doing.<\/p>\n

He returned slowly to his camp and, as he was relaxing after supper, he smiled to himself, knowing that he had overcome his fears and would be able to carry on as normal in the morning.\u00a0 Then his mind went back to the conversation with his father.\u00a0 He knew Ben was trying to protect him, but he was feeling smothered by the concern.\u00a0 He didn’t want or need to be taken care of, and his father knew that very well.\u00a0 Then he thought of Verity, with no one to care for her, and he felt guilty at being annoyed by his family’s wanting to look after him.<\/p>\n

He sat up.\u00a0 Verity did have someone to care for her; he was there and he would look after her.\u00a0 Isn’t that what friends did for each other?\u00a0 He would tell her so on Saturday, tell her that anytime she needed help or guidance, or just a shoulder to cry on, he was there.\u00a0 Adam smiled to himself; it would be like having a sister, now there was a new experience.<\/p>\n

Adam returned to the ranch the next evening and was concerned when he saw Doc Martin’s buggy outside the house.\u00a0 He dismounted quickly and hurried inside, where he found his father sitting beside the fireplace, a worried frown on his face.<\/p>\n

He quickly took off his hat and gun belt as he entered.\u00a0 “What is it, Pa?\u00a0 Why is the Doc here?”<\/p>\n

Ben looked up, and rose to greet his son.\u00a0 “It’s Joe, he’s broken his leg.”<\/p>\n

Adam couldn’t help it; he laughed, and kept laughing as he sat on the settee, shaking helplessly.<\/p>\n

“Adam!” shouted Ben, “I don’t think it is any laughing matter.\u00a0 Your brother’s hurt!”<\/p>\n

Adam fought to bring himself under control.\u00a0 “Oh Pa, I know.\u00a0 But it looks like you were trying to protect the wrong son.”\u00a0 He managed to put on a suitably serious expression.\u00a0 “How bad is it?”<\/p>\n

Ben smiled, seeing the truth of Adam’s words.\u00a0 “Doc says it’s a nice clean break, shouldn’t cause him any trouble once it’s healed.”<\/p>\n

“Well, that’s a relief.\u00a0 Pa,” Adam stood in front of his father, his merriment forgotten in the face of what he wanted to say.\u00a0 “I’m sorry that I got mad at you yesterday, you know I don’t like to be fussed over.\u00a0 But I’ve had a chance to think since then.\u00a0 I just want to say thank you for looking after me as you have these last couple of weeks.\u00a0 I needed you then, and you were there for me; it wasn’t right that I should expect you to stop worrying.\u00a0 I know I’m lucky to have a family that cares.”<\/p>\n

Before Ben could reply, Adam had moved hastily to the stairs and, taking them two at a time, went to see Joe.\u00a0 He pushed open the door as Doc Martin was putting the finishing touches to a plaster cast.<\/p>\n

“How is he, Doc?” Adam asked, advancing into the room.<\/p>\n

Paul Martin looked up.\u00a0 “He’s fine,” then he glanced down at Joe, “or he will be if he does as he’s told.”<\/p>\n

“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of him.”\u00a0 Adam turned to Joe, “How’d you manage to do that, horse throw you?”<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head, but didn’t reply, so Adam tried again.\u00a0 “What then?\u00a0 Steer catch you, tree fall on it, or what?”<\/p>\n

Joe looked embarrassed.\u00a0 “I fell out of the hay loft.”<\/p>\n

Adam started laughing again.\u00a0 Ben had decided to come and see how the doctor was getting on, and appeared behind Adam.\u00a0 He put his hand on his eldest son’s shoulder and squeezed it tightly in warning.\u00a0 Joe’s broken leg had provided Adam with more than enough amusement for one evening.\u00a0 “I thought this wasn’t supposed to be funny!” he said quietly in Adam’s ear.<\/p>\n

“But Pa, he fell out of the hay loft.\u00a0 All the time you were worried about me being out in that dark and dangerous forest, and here’s little brother, safe at home, breaking his leg.”\u00a0 Adam turned to his brother.\u00a0 “Joe, I know it\u2019s not funny, it must hurt like the devil.”<\/p>\n

A wan smile appeared on Joe\u2019s pain shadowed features.\u00a0 He was cheered by his brother’s reaction; he had seen enough worried faces for one day.\u00a0 “Yeah, it does, but I’ll soon be up and about.”<\/p>\n

The doctor disagreed.\u00a0 “Oh no, young man.\u00a0 You’ll stay right there for at least two weeks.\u00a0 And even then I make no promises about you getting up.”<\/p>\n

Joe looked as though he was about to argue but Adam stopped him.\u00a0 “Joe, do as you’re told, Paul knows what he’s saying.”\u00a0 Adam turned to the door.\u00a0 “I’ll see you in the morning, ‘night.”<\/p>\n

After going outside to settle Sport in the barn, Adam went to his room, undressed and lay on the bed.\u00a0 He thought about Joe and his injury.\u00a0 He knew how his young, active brother would suffer by being confined to his room, but if only he’d learn to do as he was told, he would soon be on his feet again.<\/p>\n

When Ben came down to breakfast the next morning, he was surprised to see Adam already seated at the table, making short work of Hop Sing’s bacon and pancakes.<\/p>\n

“Morning, Pa,” said Adam as Ben joined him, “I thought I’d better get an early start.\u00a0 With Hoss off on the round up this morning and Joe laid up, we’ll be short handed.”<\/p>\n

Ben sat down and cast a sideways look at his son.\u00a0 “It’s worse than you know.\u00a0 I have to go to San Francisco today.\u00a0 There’s trouble with the railroad contract, and one of us has to go sort it out, and I need you here.”<\/p>\n

Adam smirked.\u00a0 “You sure that you don’t want me to go, to keep me out of harm’s way?”<\/p>\n

“Adam!” Ben growled in warning.<\/p>\n

Adam held up his hands.\u00a0 “All right, Pa, I promise I won’t mention it again.”\u00a0 He paused, thinking of the problems his family was facing.\u00a0 “Of course you must go.\u00a0 We’ll be fine, don’t worry.”\u00a0 Then he said slowly, “In fact it may be a very good thing.\u00a0 It gives me an idea.”\u00a0 Adam rose and, picking up his hat and gun belt, he made his way hastily to the barn, where he saddled Sport and rode out.<\/p>\n

Adam finished work early and rode towards the Mason ranch, and Verity.\u00a0 As he approached, he heard what could only be a scream and he raced into the yard and leaped from his horse.\u00a0 The sight that had greeted him made him throw away all caution.<\/p>\n

Verity was there with three men, who were tossing her back and forth between them, laughing.\u00a0 Adam charged at the nearest man who was caught totally by surprise at his sudden appearance.\u00a0 Adam landed a blow on his chin and the man fell, but the other two had had time to realise what was happening and they advanced on Adam, leaving Verity lying forgotten on the ground.\u00a0 The bigger of the two men lunged at Adam and knocked the wind out of him as his shoulder connected with Adam’s stomach, and they both landed heavily on the ground.\u00a0 As Adam got slowly back to his feet, the smaller man pulled him upright by his shirt collar and delivered a blow to his head, which sent Adam\u2019s senses reeling.\u00a0 Adam backed away shaking his head to clear it, then he waited for the two of them to approach again.\u00a0 As they did so, side-by-side, Adam turned on the bigger man and struck out at him, hitting him on the chin, then he whirled towards the other man and landed a blow in his stomach.\u00a0 By this time, the first man had recovered and came up behind Adam, grabbing his arms and pinning them behind him.\u00a0 Adam struggled, but the man was strong, and before Adam could free himself the big man came up to him and landed one blow on his cheek and another in his gut.\u00a0 Adam doubled over, gasping for breath, then, as he felt the grip on his arms relax, he straightened, threw his head back, and heard the crunch of breaking bone as his head connected with the man’s nose.\u00a0 Adam got his arms free and reluctantly drew his gun.\u00a0 The two men in front of him stopped dead at this threat.\u00a0 Adam stepped back so that he could cover all three.<\/p>\n

The big man tried to calm the situation.\u00a0 “All right, friend, we was just havin’ some fun.\u00a0 No need for shootin'”<\/p>\n

Adam was breathing hard, from the blows that had landed and from anger.\u00a0 “Fun!\u00a0 Is that what you call it?!” he shouted.<\/p>\n

“We didn’t mean no harm,” the little man whined.<\/p>\n

Adam indicated their friend.\u00a0 “Get him and yourselves out of here, now!”\u00a0 He took another deep breath, then said matter-of-factly, “If I find you here again I will kill you.”<\/p>\n

The two men helped their injured companion onto his horse, and they were gone in a cloud of dust.\u00a0 Adam ran over to Verity, lifted her to her feet and guided her back into the house.\u00a0 He sat her on the settee and poured her a glass of brandy, sitting beside her until she had finished it.<\/p>\n

“Are you all right?” he asked, his concern evident in his voice.<\/p>\n

Verity nodded.\u00a0 “Thank you.”\u00a0 She turned sad eyes towards him.\u00a0 “You see?\u00a0 That is why I hide myself away.\u00a0 Now I will have to leave.”\u00a0 She started to cry and Adam held her until she was calmer.\u00a0 “I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m all right now.”\u00a0 She pushed him away and put her hand to his cheek.\u00a0 “You’re bleeding,” she observed.<\/p>\n

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”<\/p>\n

Verity stood and went into the kitchen to get some water and a cloth.\u00a0 She came back and bathed the wound until the bleeding stopped, then she went back to make coffee.\u00a0 Adam followed and placed her gently, but firmly, on one of the kitchen chairs and made the coffee for them.\u00a0 He sat at the table with her and poured them both a cup.<\/p>\n

“I think you should come to the Ponderosa for a few days,” he suggested.<\/p>\n

Verity was about to shake her head, but Adam continued.\u00a0 “I want to ask you something, a favour.”<\/p>\n

“Oh?”<\/p>\n

“Yes.\u00a0 My little brother has broken his leg and is confined to bed for the next couple of weeks.\u00a0 Hoss is overseeing the men rounding up cattle before driving them to Sacramento, and my father is going to San Francisco.”\u00a0 He paused.<\/p>\n

“Well, your family certainly are well travelled,” observed Verity mischievously.<\/p>\n

Adam looked at her and smiled, glad to see that she was recovering from the attack.\u00a0 “Yes, well.\u00a0 The point is that I will be the only one at home, and I have to organise the men and the ranch work, so I will be out of the house most of the day.\u00a0 Now, I know my brother, if there is no one there to keep him in line, he will be out of his bed and doing who knows what sort of damage to his leg.\u00a0 Hop Sing has gone on the drive with Hoss, and I need someone who could keep an eye on Joe.\u00a0 I wondered if you would help me.”<\/p>\n

“Adam, I don’t think…”<\/p>\n

“Verity, you\u2019re right, you can’t stay here now.\u00a0 Soon it will be all over town and then you will no longer feel safe.\u00a0 Please, say you’ll come.”<\/p>\n

“I will have to think about it,” said Verity, frightened by the thought of meeting any of Adam’s family, and their reaction to her.<\/p>\n

“All right, I’ll wait,” said Adam, pulling his watch from his pocket.\u00a0 “You’ve got five minutes.”<\/p>\n

Verity didn’t know what to say.<\/p>\n

“Four and a half,” Adam counted.<\/p>\n

“But there must be someone else,” she reasoned.<\/p>\n

“No one that I would trust with my brother’s health.\u00a0 Four minutes.”<\/p>\n

“But what about this place?”<\/p>\n

“Matthew can take care of it for you.\u00a0 Three and a half.”\u00a0 Adam stared at the watch.<\/p>\n

“But what if your brother doesn’t like me, or worse, is frightened of me?”<\/p>\n

“Joe will like you, and nothing frightens my brother.”\u00a0 An unconscious tinge of pride coloured Adam’s words.\u00a0 “Two and a half.”<\/p>\n

“But …”<\/p>\n

Adam put the watch away.\u00a0 “Just go and pack, will you?”<\/p>\n

Rather to Adam’s surprise Verity nodded and went into the bedroom, emerging a few minutes later with a valise in one hand and the guitar in the other.<\/p>\n

Adam saddled a horse for her and they rode together towards his home.\u00a0 When they entered, Adam asked Verity if she would wait while he went to speak to Joe, and she sat obediently on the settee, looking round at the aggressively masculine great room.<\/p>\n

Adam entered Joe’s bedroom and was surprised to find his young, restless brother lying quietly in bed.<\/p>\n

“Hi Adam,” said Joe, his eyes brightening at his visitor, then he saw the damage to Adam\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cWhat happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, it doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 How are you?” asked Adam, realising that only the pain from his leg would have kept Joe quietly in bed.<\/p>\n

Joe sighed.\u00a0 “Bored, Pa left an hour ago.\u201d Joe looked hopefully at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI thought I might get up tomorrow, I could lie on the settee, I promise I won’t move.”<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s conscience nudged him as he remembered his own broken promise to his father, but it didn’t stop him being firm with his brother. “Oh no.\u00a0 You’re staying right there until the doc says you can get up.\u00a0 But I have a surprise for you.”\u00a0 Joe raised his eyebrows.\u00a0 “I’ve got someone to look after you, keep you company.”<\/p>\n

“You have?\u00a0 Who?”<\/p>\n

Adam explained about Verity, who she was, and how she looked.\u00a0 “Joe, I know when you see her for the first time, it will be a bit of a shock, but I want you to remember that she has feelings, same as anyone else.”<\/p>\n

“OK Adam, I understand,” Joe said, hoping that he did.<\/p>\n

Adam went to the top of the stairs and called Verity to come up.\u00a0 She climbed the stairs and Adam showed her into Joe’s room.\u00a0 Joe was silent for a second then spoke.\u00a0 “Hello, Adam tells me that you are going to look after me.”<\/p>\n

Verity nodded uncertainly.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled.\u00a0 “Well, I hope that you won’t be such a tyrant as he would be.”<\/p>\n

Verity relaxed.\u00a0 “Adam has told me of your dislike of staying in bed, and has given me strict instructions for your care.”<\/p>\n

Joe looked at his brother and smiled.\u00a0 “Oh no, I thought that I was getting off lightly.”<\/p>\n

“Verity knows what the doc said, so you just be a good boy, and you’ll soon be out of there.”\u00a0 Adam put his hand on Verity’s arm.\u00a0 “I’ll show you to your room, and then we’ll have supper.\u00a0 After that I have some paper work to do.”<\/p>\n

“Could we have it here, with Joe?” Verity asked, and saw Joe brighten at the thought of not spending the rest of the evening alone.<\/p>\n

“I think we could manage that,” Adam agreed, and after settling Verity in her room, he went to make supper.<\/p>\n

They shared their meal together, and Verity suggested that she could do the cooking while she was there.<\/p>\n

Adam looked at her suspiciously.\u00a0 \u201cAre you inferring that I am not a very good cook?\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity glanced sideways at Joe, and saw him smile.\u00a0 She turned back to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s not that I don\u2019t appreciate having meals made for me, but you will be busy and I will be here all day, and I just thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam held up his hand.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s all right, I know that my natural home is not in the kitchen.\u00a0 I can do well enough that we wouldn\u2019t starve, but I would be delighted if you would take over that chore.\u201d<\/p>\n

They laughed together in easy companionship, and after they had eaten, Adam left Joe and Verity alone while he went to attend to the papers that were waiting for him.\u00a0 Verity walked slowly round the room, looking at the paintings on the walls, of Indians and views of the country, and the objects that lay scattered haphazardly about, artefacts that reflected Joe’s life; leatherwork and carvings.<\/p>\n

She turned to Joe.\u00a0 “You love this country, don’t you?”<\/p>\n

Joe smiled.\u00a0 “Yes.\u00a0 I love the ranch and the wide-open spaces, the feeling that there is no limit to what we can do here.\u00a0 There are no walls to keep you in.\u00a0 I’m lucky that the ranch is so big, but even if it wasn’t, I know I would love this country.\u00a0 There\u2019s a feeling of life, of growing.”<\/p>\n

“I see that a lot of the things you have are of Indian origin.”<\/p>\n

“I respect those people.\u00a0 They lived here for hundreds of years before the white man came.\u00a0 Taming this land and making it their own.”<\/p>\n

“But isn’t the Ponderosa built on Indian land?\u201d Verity queried.<\/p>\n

Joe looked sad.\u00a0 “Yes, it is.\u00a0 But it was lost to them many years before we came here.\u00a0 I like to think that we are looking after it, as they would have done.\u00a0 Pa and Adam are very careful what they let happen to it.\u00a0 They won\u2019t allow too much logging, or graze too many cattle.”\u00a0 Joe smiled to himself.\u00a0 “Do you know, I once suggested that we could make more money by cutting more trees and enlarging the herd.\u00a0 I was younger, and thought that I was being helpful.\u00a0 You should have seen their faces!\u00a0 They both tried to explain at the same time that money wasn’t everything, and that we held the land for the future, not just for now, and we must care for it.\u00a0 I remember that moment, I don’t think that I have ever seen Pa and Adam agree about anything so completely.”<\/p>\n

Verity looked thoughtful.\u00a0 “Your brother is a very caring man,” she said, remembering his care of her.\u00a0 \u201cHe takes his responsibilities seriously, doesn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

“I suppose so. I know that he has very strong principles and he sets himself high standards that are sometimes difficult to live with, but he won\u2019t compromise them, no matter what.”<\/p>\n

“Do you find him difficult to live with, then?” Verity came to sit on the chair beside the bed, observing Joe closely.<\/p>\n

Joe thought for a long time about his answer.\u00a0 He liked talking to this woman and wanted to be honest with her, but he did not know what her relationship was with Adam.\u00a0 How open could he be with her?<\/p>\n

“Yes, I do, sometimes.”\u00a0 Verity raised her eyebrows, inviting Joe to continue.\u00a0 Joe smiled, “Adam and I are very different, I’m just not naturally as serious as he is and he finds that difficult.\u00a0 He uses his education to help improve the ranch and our life here, but for all his intelligence he can’t see that there\u2019s more to life that working and learning.\u00a0 He\u2019ll tackle a job by looking for the logical way to do it, where I do it by finding the fun in it, and sometimes that drives him crazy.\u00a0 But we both get the job done, in our own way.”\u00a0 Joe looked more serious, “And he’s always there when I need him, and I would trust him with my life.”<\/p>\n

“You’re very proud of him, aren’t you?”<\/p>\n

“Yes.”\u00a0 Joe didn’t hesitate to answer.\u00a0 He had never really thought about it before but he was proud of what his brother had achieved, overcoming the early hardships of his life travelling west with Pa, helping to build the ranch, then going to college and returning to his family, again assisting his father to make their home into the strong business that it had become.<\/p>\n

Verity remembered Adam’s pride when he spoke of his brother, and when he had told her of his family.\u00a0 “You’re very lucky to have such a family,” she said sadly, thinking of her own lack in that respect.\u00a0 Then she brightened.\u00a0 “Would you like me to read to you?”<\/p>\n

Joe nodded his assent and settled down under the covers, as Verity began to read.\u00a0 Joe was soon asleep, and Verity crept quietly from the room.\u00a0 She went down the stairs, to find Adam hard at work on the papers that his father had left for him.\u00a0 Adam looked up as Verity approached.<\/p>\n

“Joe’s asleep,” she informed him.<\/p>\n

Adam rose from behind the desk.\u00a0 “That’s good, he needs all the rest he can get.\u00a0 That’s his problem, really.\u00a0 He’s so restless that he won’t stay put like he should.”<\/p>\n

“You worry about him, don’t you?”\u00a0 Verity looked into Adam’s eyes as he handed her a drink.<\/p>\n

“Yes, sometimes I think that I have to save him from himself,” Adam laughed, “he never thinks of the consequences of what he does, he acts by feelings not by thought, and that sometimes leads him into trouble.\u00a0 But if he doesn’t do what the doc says, he could do permanent injury to that leg.\u00a0 He knows that perfectly well, but that won’t stop him from trying to get up too soon.”<\/p>\n

“You think that he’s irresponsible, then?”<\/p>\n

Adam looked thoughtful as he considered the question.\u00a0 “Irresponsible?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Impulsive, headstrong, impatient certainly.\u00a0 But he’s intelligent, caring and I would trust him with my life.”<\/p>\n

Verity smiled and Adam raised his eyebrows at the look.\u00a0 She explained, “He said exactly the same thing about you, that he would trust you with his life.”<\/p>\n

“Did he?\u00a0 Well I suppose that we all feel like that, Pa and Hoss too.”\u00a0 Adam turned to Verity and held her hand gently.\u00a0 “Pa has brought us up to care for each other, and about other people.\u00a0 Verity, I hope that you will let me care for you as well.\u00a0 I realise that I am fortunate to have the family I have, and that you have no one.\u00a0 Let me be there for you, like the family you don’t have.\u00a0 If you need anything, tell me, whether it’s something you lack or just when you need someone to talk to, let me help you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam told her of the old Sioux and his words.\u00a0 \u201cPa was my wind when I needed him, let me be yours.”<\/p>\n

Verity smiled, hiding the tears that threatened at his kind, soft words.\u00a0 “Thank you, of course I will.”\u00a0 She swallowed hard.\u00a0 “It’s been a long time since I had anyone who cared for me as you have.”<\/p>\n

Adam leaned over and kissed her cheek gently, and she heard him laugh quietly.\u00a0 “What?” she queried.<\/p>\n

“I asked Pa if a man could have a woman as a friend, and he said ‘yes’.\u00a0 But I’ve never kissed any of my friends.”<\/p>\n

“Then it will be our secret.”\u00a0 Verity joined in his laughter.<\/p>\n

They sat quietly together on the settee, talking late into the night, until Adam reluctantly said it was time for bed.\u00a0 He had an early start if he was going to get all his work done.\u00a0 He left Verity outside her room and went to his own, where he lay in the darkness considering his feelings for the woman across the hallway.\u00a0 Was it friendship, or was something deeper developing?\u00a0 He was still uncertain when he fell asleep.<\/p>\n

**********
\nThe following days passed pleasantly at the Cartwright home.\u00a0 Adam worked long hours and came home tired, but the evenings he spent with Verity made him forget his exhaustion.<\/p>\n

Verity spent her days with Joe, and they developed an easy relationship.\u00a0 Usually when Joe was confined to bed, he became restless and irritable, but Verity’s presence seemed to have a calming effect on the young man, and he was satisfied to remain in bed.\u00a0 Then the day came when the doctor told him he could get up for short periods and he was delighted to be able to venture downstairs, with Adam’s help.<\/p>\n

Adam was pleased to see that Joe was recovering, but was not so happy to lose the quiet evenings he spent alone with Verity.<\/p>\n

The three of them were sitting drinking coffee after supper, when Adam suggested it was time for Joe to return to his room.<\/p>\n

“Oh Adam, do I have to?”<\/p>\n

“Yes, you do,” Adam insisted.\u00a0 “I have an early start tomorrow.”<\/p>\n

“Then you go to bed,” Joe retaliated.<\/p>\n

“And who’s going to help you up the stairs?”<\/p>\n

“I can manage fine, and Verity can help me,” Joe said reasonably.<\/p>\n

Verity was about to agree that she could manage when she saw the look on Adam’s face.\u00a0 “Joe, I think you should go and rest.\u00a0 You’ve had a tiring day.\u00a0 Perhaps tomorrow you can stay up for longer.”\u00a0\u00a0 She looked hard at Adam, daring him to contradict her.<\/p>\n

Instead, Adam just said, “Yes, perhaps tomorrow.”\u00a0 He raised Joe off the settee and supported him as he climbed slowly up the stairs.\u00a0 When he had seen Joe settled, he returned to Verity, poured them both a drink and sat beside her.<\/p>\n

She looked at him.\u00a0 “I thought that you wanted to go to bed.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, I do.\u00a0 But I’m going to have a drink first,” Adam insisted.<\/p>\n

“Do you think that was fair to Joe, making him go like that?”<\/p>\n

Adam looked guiltily down at the glass in his hand.\u00a0 “No, probably not, but I don’t get any time to spend with you alone now Joe’s up and about.”<\/p>\n

“And is that important enough to you that you would upset your brother?”<\/p>\n

Adam considered his answer.\u00a0 He turned to Verity.\u00a0 “Yes, it is.”<\/p>\n

“Adam, I’m flattered that you want to spend your time with me, but we’ve spoken about your feelings before, and you admitted that there was nothing between us.”<\/p>\n

“That was then, this is now.”<\/p>\n

Verity took a deep breath before she spoke.\u00a0 “Has something changed?”<\/p>\n

Adam lowered his eyes, then brought them back to Verity’s face.\u00a0 “Yes.\u00a0 I think I love you.”<\/p>\n

“You ‘think’ you love me?”<\/p>\n

“Yes.”<\/p>\n

Verity stood and walked across the room to Ben’s desk, then turned.\u00a0 “Well I think you are fooling yourself.\u00a0 I don’t believe you do.”\u00a0 Adam stood and was about to interrupt her, but Verity stopped him.\u00a0 “I think you feel that you should, that somehow you owe it to me to say that, but in your heart you know it isn’t true.”<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t move as he replied.\u00a0 \u201cHow can you say that, how do you know what I feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause Joe has told me how you care about people.\u00a0 What you feel is pity.\u201d\u00a0 Verity\u2019s face reddened as she tried to control the churning emotions inside her, but she could not control her voice as it rose in anger.\u00a0 \u201cI have told you that I don\u2019t want your pity, so don\u2019t waste it on me, I don\u2019t need it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity started for the stairs and Adam moved to intercept her.\u00a0 \u201cAre you so afraid to be loved?\u201d\u00a0 Her words had hurt him and he was careless of hurting her in return.\u00a0 He spoke harshly, \u201cAre you afraid that someone might break into the safe, secluded world that you have created for yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood in front of Verity, barring her way.\u00a0 She tried to get past him but he moved to prevent her.\u00a0 She took a step back, brought her hand up sharply, and slapped him hard.\u00a0 Adam raised a hand to his cheek then moved out of her way, allowing her to pass.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I deserved that, but you\u2019re wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity turned as she stood on the bottom step.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I\u2019m not, and when you have a chance to think about it, you will thank me.\u201d\u00a0 She made her way slowly up the stairs and Adam heard her door shut quietly.<\/p>\n

He poured himself another drink and sat down on the settee, thinking of her sitting beside him.\u00a0 What did he really feel?\u00a0 He shook his head helplessly, how could he separate his feelings of pity and gratitude from what he was certain were the first stirrings of love?\u00a0 How could he convince her that he meant what he said?\u00a0 He finished his drink and considered having another, but rejected the idea, one more and he would be there all night with the bottle, and he still had responsibilities towards his father and the ranch.\u00a0 He made his way slowly up to his room and lay in bed, but sleep would not come, and he reached for the book on the bedside table.\u00a0 As he went to pick it up the book fell on the floor, and Adam stared at it as he saw the page that lay open.\u00a0 He reached out for it slowly and read the words:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt lies not in our power to love or hate,<\/em>
\nFor will in us is overruled by fate.<\/em>
\nWhen two are stripped, long ere the course begin<\/em>
\nWe wish that one should lose, the other win;<\/em>
\nAnd one especially do we affect<\/em>
\nOf two gold ingots, like in each respect.<\/em>
\nThe reason no man knows, let it suffice,<\/em>
\nWhat we beheld is censured by our eyes.<\/em>
\nWhere both deliberate, the love is slight;<\/em>
\nWho ever loved, that loved not at first sight?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 (5)<\/em>
\nAdam stared at the page.\u00a0 He re-read the last lines and thought of Verity.\u00a0 He had not loved her when he first saw her, he had felt only pity and a need to help her.\u00a0 Was she right then, that he didn\u2019t love her?\u00a0 Suddenly, for the first time in his life, Adam didn\u2019t trust what he was thinking, and the turmoil in his head and his heart brought tears to his eyes.\u00a0 He rubbed them angrily away.\u00a0 Had the apparently haphazard falling of the book shown him that he was wrong, that he didn\u2019t love her?\u00a0 He replaced the traitorous tome on the nightstand and turned down the lamp.<\/p>\n

**********
\nAdam sat at breakfast hoping to see Verity appear before he had to leave.\u00a0 He wanted to apologise to her for the things he had said the previous evening, and to explain, though he wasn\u2019t sure that he could.\u00a0 He was still uncertain of his true feelings towards her, but it was plain that she had no love for him.\u00a0 Adam rose, suddenly wanting to get away from the house and another confrontation with his guest.<\/p>\n

Verity came along the landing and was about to start down the stairs, when she heard the front door closing.\u00a0 As she descended into the great room, she saw the remains of Adam\u2019s meal on the table.\u00a0 She went into the kitchen and made herself some breakfast, and sat at the table staring at her plate.\u00a0 Her mind was elsewhere, realising that Adam had left before he had to talk to her.\u00a0 She had hurt him, and that was the last thing she wanted to do, but she knew that any love he felt for her was tangled up in a web of other feelings.\u00a0 She felt her heart beat faster at the thought of being loved by this man that she had come to admire for his care of, and for, her.\u00a0 She pushed the thought away; he would regret his declaration if she let him believe that it was true love he felt, and not merely pity.<\/p>\n

She shook herself, putting the thoughts behind her, and picked at her breakfast, then she went into the kitchen to prepare a tray for Joe.\u00a0 She took it upstairs and into Joe\u2019s room, waking him gently.<\/p>\n

Joe eased himself up the bed as Verity placed the tray on his lap and poured some coffee for both of them.\u00a0 Joe ate his food slowly, observing Verity.\u00a0 She was very quiet, going to stand by the window, looking down into the yard and fingering the curtain absently.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

Verity didn\u2019t answer immediately, but came to sit on the chair beside the bed.\u00a0 She looked up into Joe\u2019s young face, then she lowered her eyes and stared at her hands as they rested in her lap.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid that I have hurt your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d said Joe, wondering if Verity would tell him more.<\/p>\n

Verity looked up.\u00a0 \u201cHe told me he thought that he loved me, and I told him he was wrong, that he only felt pity.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can you be sure?\u00a0 Adam knows himself pretty well, and he wouldn\u2019t have said it if he didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know he thinks he means it.\u00a0 But I believe he feels he should say it, that he thinks if he doesn\u2019t it will simply confirm that my appearance makes a difference, and he won\u2019t admit to himself that it does.\u00a0 He feels a duty to me to make me feel normal in some way.\u00a0 That\u2019s the kind of man he is, he wouldn\u2019t see another hurt if he could stop it.\u00a0 But to say he loves me is wrong, how can I make him understand?\u201d\u00a0 Verity stood and went back to the window.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like me to talk to him?\u201d offered Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know if it would do any good, you really need Pa, or my brother Hoss.\u00a0 Adam takes notice of what they say.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity turned back into the room, looking across at Joe and seeing the sad expression on his face.\u00a0 \u201cDoesn\u2019t he take notice of you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, to Adam I\u2019m just a kid still, always will be,\u201d Joe smiled, \u201ceven when I\u2019m fifty.\u00a0 I don\u2019t give him advice, and never tell him what to do.\u00a0 He\u2019d laugh if I tried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you\u2019d like to be able to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, sometimes.\u00a0 Adam takes everything so seriously; occasionally I\u2019d like to be able to show him that life can be so much more fun.\u201d\u00a0 Joe became serious.\u00a0 \u201cAnd that, sometimes, you have to think of yourself, not others.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Verity were silent for a long time, each thinking of their relationship with the eldest Cartwright son, neither happy about it but not feeling able to change it to their liking, one out of love for his brother, the other out of respect for her friend.<\/p>\n

Verity stirred.\u00a0 \u201cWould you like to get up now?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 Joe agreed and she helped him to dress and supported him as he hopped downstairs.<\/p>\n

They spent the day reading and playing checkers.\u00a0 Verity proved to be very adept at the game, and at spotting Joe\u2019s attempts to influence the game in his favour, what others might have called cheating, but Verity simply moved the pieces back to their proper places and carried on as though nothing had happened.\u00a0 Joe began to wish that Hoss would return and play with him.\u00a0 His brother never knew when he had been cheated, and firmly believed that Joe was the better player.<\/p>\n

As evening was drawing on, they heard a horse in the yard and Joe immediately recognised the sound of Hoss\u2019 mount, Chubb.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s my other brother, back from the drive.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity stood uncertainly.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, would you do something for me?\u201d\u00a0 Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cWhile I go into the kitchen and start supper, would you explain to your brother the reason for my presence, and…how I look?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, if you want.\u00a0 But believe me, Hoss will accept you straight away, you have nothing to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but still, please do it for me.\u201d\u00a0 Verity made her escape into the kitchen as Hoss came through the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, little brother, how are you?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked, hanging up his hat and laying his gun belt on the dresser behind the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cGetting better all the time.\u201d\u00a0 Joe smiled broadly, knowing that his brother was home and safe.<\/p>\n

Hoss sat down on the end of the settee, at Joe\u2019s feet.\u00a0 He spied the checker board.\u00a0 \u201cWho you been playing with?\u00a0 Is Adam home?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see his horse in the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 Hoss we have a guest, Adam arranged for her to come and keep an eye on me.\u00a0 I get the feeling he didn\u2019t trust me to behave if there was no one here.\u201d\u00a0 Joe laughed.\u00a0 He went on to explain about Verity and her appearance.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is she then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHiding in the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHidin\u2019?\u00a0 From me?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was about to go and find Verity, when she appeared carrying a tray on which was coffee and cups for them all.\u00a0 Hoss went to her and relieved her of her burden, smiling at her as he did so.\u00a0 \u201cEvenin\u2019, Miss.\u00a0 I\u2019m Hoss, Joe\u2019s brother.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss looked at her and his heart wept when he saw her face, knowing the hurt she would have suffered.<\/p>\n

Verity looked up, and up.\u00a0 The man in front of her was so much bigger than Joe, and even Adam, that she was taken aback.\u00a0 \u201cGood evening, Hoss, it\u2019s a pleasure to meet you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss made her sit down and poured the coffee.\u00a0 \u201cJoe tells me that you\u2019ve been lookin\u2019 after him.\u00a0 That\u2019s a job I don\u2019t envy you, but he seems to be improvin\u2019 fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been very good,\u201d Verity looked at Joe, \u201cno trouble at all, and will soon be back on his feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

They all turned as they heard the front door open, and Adam entered.\u00a0 He stopped as he saw that his brother had returned, then he put his hat and gun belt on the dresser and stood behind the settee.\u00a0 \u201cYou made good time,\u201d he said to Hoss.\u00a0 Adam looked at Verity but said nothing to her, just nodded his head towards her in acknowledgement of her presence, not wanting to speak to her in front of his brothers, and not knowing what her attitude towards him would be.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear those cows wanted to get to market, they almost ran there, and we had good weather.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s the leg?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe could see the tension in Adam\u2019s face as he looked at Verity, and remembered his earlier conversation with her.\u00a0 He tried to make his brother relax.\u00a0 \u201cFine.\u00a0 With all the care I\u2019m getting it\u2019ll soon be good as new.\u00a0 Sit down, have some coffee, you look tired,\u201d Joe suggested.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks,\u201d Adam said, moving to the stairs, \u201cI\u2019m going into town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t it a bit late to be going out?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that I\u2019m capable of deciding whether I want to go out or not, don\u2019t you?\u201d Adam said abruptly, and Hoss recoiled at the tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, sure.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss suddenly found the coffee in his cup held a fascination for him and he looked steadily at it, avoiding his brother\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Adam disappeared upstairs, and was soon back again in fresh clothes.\u00a0 He headed for the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t wait up for me,\u201d Adam said, and was gone.<\/p>\n

Adam rode into Virginia City and found a quiet table in the equally quiet saloon, where he sat nursing a beer.\u00a0 He\u2019d left the house without any supper and thought that he aught to eat before drinking too much; he didn\u2019t want to get drunk, he just wanted to think and he could do that better away from home.\u00a0 His thoughts had troubled him all day, and he was no nearer to finding the answer to the question he had been asking himself; did he love Verity?<\/p>\n

Bessie ambled over to his table and sat down.\u00a0 \u201cHow about buying me a drink, Adam?\u201d\u00a0 Her low cut dress sparkled brightly in the dim light, laughing at Adam\u2019s dour expression.<\/p>\n

Adam looked up at the lightly painted face beneath the blonde hair.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, why not?\u201d\u00a0 He called to Charlie, who was leaning on the bar reading a newspaper, to bring over a bottle.\u00a0 Charlie placed the whiskey on the table, with two glasses, and retreated.\u00a0 Adam poured them both a drink, and then sat back in his chair.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to talk, but Bessie had been a good friend to him over the years and trade was slack tonight; he knew that she would get a rake-off on the cost of the bottle.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to tell me about it?\u201d\u00a0 Bessie asked, looking at his troubled expression.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head silently, downed his drink and refilled the glass.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what is it?\u00a0 Have you argued with your Pa, or is it a woman?\u00a0 Those are the only reasons I\u2019ve ever seen you look like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced up, he had seen Bessie in the early morning and knew that beneath the mascara, lipstick and rouge, there was a handsome woman with a soft heart who had seen him at his best, and his worst, but had never judged him and never expected more from him than he was prepared to give.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s away.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bessie nodded in understanding.\u00a0 \u201cSo are you wondering how to tell her you\u2019re not interested, or that you are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did tell her, that I\u2019m interested that is, and she told me I was wrong.\u00a0 Now the more I think about it the more convinced I am that she was right.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head and drained his glass.\u00a0 Bessie poured him another and Adam took it in his hands and stared at it.\u00a0 \u201cBut I thought that I loved her, how could I have been so wrong?\u00a0 She said I didn\u2019t feel love, but pity.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam sipped his drink slowly, now he had started to talk he wanted Bessie to understand, to help him.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s not beautiful; in fact she has a face that would make most people turn away from her.\u00a0 She had an accident.\u00a0 But inside she\u2019s beautiful, and that\u2019s what I love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bessie reached over and refilled Adam\u2019s empty glass.\u00a0 \u201cSo she thinks you feel sorry for her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, and perhaps she\u2019s right.\u201d\u00a0 Adam sat up and put his elbows on the table, raising the glass to his lips.\u00a0 \u201cI guess she doesn\u2019t trust anyone to react to her as they would to other people.\u201d\u00a0 Adam considered how he felt when he thought he might lose his sight.\u00a0 Would he have trusted a woman who said she loved him, would he have thought it was only through pity?\u00a0 Bessie filled his glass again and Adam smiled at her, it was a lop-sided, slightly drunken look.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Bessie, you\u2019re good to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, tell me the rest of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t speak for several minutes, he just sat, sipping his drink slowly and refilling his glass as he emptied it.\u00a0 \u201cI had an accident a few weeks back…\u201d Adam started.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I heard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed, there were few secrets in Virginia City, and a potentially serious injury to one of the Cartwrights would have gone round the town like wildfire.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019d lost my sight, I would\u2019ve found it difficult to trust the motives of anyone who tried to get close to me.\u00a0 Why would they want to get involved with a blind man?\u201d\u00a0 Adam picked up the bottle and filled his empty glass, and Bessie\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cI know Pa\u2019s always worried whenever one of us gets involved with a woman, that her motives are not entirely pure, but that she has her eyes on the Ponderosa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam sniggered, \u201cI don\u2019t think that we\u2019re that bad looking do you?\u00a0 It might be that they find us attractive after all.\u00a0 But Pa\u2019s always warning us about fortune hunters.\u201d\u00a0 He looked thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cI guess it must be the same for Verity, not trusting people\u2019s motives.\u201d\u00a0 He paused, trying to decide what his motives might be.\u00a0 \u201cDo I only think I love her, because what I really want is to help her?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam fell silent as he remembered two women for whom he had declared his love, and as he thought of them, he became very still; they had something in common.\u00a0 Ruth, living alone on the Mountain of the Dead, and Regina, who had chosen to follow her father in the restricted life of a Quaker.\u00a0 Had he only loved them for what he thought he could do for them, to free them from their isolation?\u00a0 Did he give his love out of a sense of duty, had he ever really loved either of them?\u00a0 Did he even know what real love was?\u00a0 And now Verity, another woman that he felt needed his help.<\/p>\n

Suddenly Adam became sad.\u00a0 \u201cWhy can\u2019t I love a woman for herself, is that so hard to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, never regret that you care about people.\u00a0 But sometimes you have to think of yourself, what you want.\u201d\u00a0 Bessie could see that Adam was drunk and only half listening to her, but she pushed on.\u00a0 \u201cWhat would you do if she was beautiful, and you did not feel sorry for her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I don\u2019t …\u201d Adam started to say, but hiccupped loudly before he could finish.<\/p>\n

Bessie smiled at him.\u00a0 \u201cYou haven\u2019t fooled me for one minute.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t be here if you were sure you loved her, you\u2019d be with her, persuading her of your feelings.\u00a0 So, what would you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, picking up the bottle.\u00a0 He tried to pour the whiskey but missed, spilling the liquor on the table.\u00a0 Bessie took it from him and filled their glasses, emptying the bottle.\u00a0 Adam drank half the glass, and then looked owlishly at Bessie.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I didn\u2019t feel sorry?\u201d Adam asked and Bessie nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like her, I know that.\u201d\u00a0 Adam blinked slowly, he was finding it hard to keep his eyes focused on his companion.\u00a0 \u201cBut love?\u00a0 I dunno.\u00a0 Pr\u2019aps not.\u201d\u00a0 He emptied his glass.\u00a0 \u201cI gotta go.\u201d\u00a0 Adam tried to stand, but his legs gave way and he sat down heavily, \u201cOoops!\u201d Adam looked down.\u00a0 \u201cWho\u2026moved\u2026the floor?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bessie stood and put her hand under Adam\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, I don\u2019t think you\u2019ll be riding home tonight.\u201d\u00a0 She lifted him, put his arm round her shoulder, and guided him up the stairs to her room.<\/p>\n

When Adam realised where he was, he stopped and turned towards her, leaning on the door post for support.\u00a0 \u201cThish ish your room, what \u2018bout your rep … repu … what will they think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat never stopped you before.\u201d\u00a0 Bessie guided him to the bed, where Adam collapsed in a heap.<\/p>\n

As Bessie started to pull the covers over him, Adam put up his arms and wrapped them round Bessie\u2019s neck, pulling her downwards, and kissed her.\u00a0 \u201cBessie, I know I love you,\u201d he whispered as he fell asleep.<\/p>\n

**********
\nAdam woke with a blinding headache and a mouth that felt as though he had eaten a desert.\u00a0 He sat up slowly, wondering for a moment where he was, then he recognised the red velvet drapes and flock wallpaper of Bessie\u2019s room.\u00a0 He turned his head, groaning as he did so, and saw Bessie asleep in a chair.\u00a0 He swung his legs over the side of the bed, and rested his elbows on his knees, hanging his head until the room stopped spinning.\u00a0 Bessie became aware of movement and opened her eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, hello.\u00a0 How are you this morning?\u201d she asked cheerfully.<\/p>\n

Adam held his head.\u00a0 \u201cWould you mind not shouting,\u201d he begged.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t,\u201d she said more quietly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get you some breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, please! Just some coffee,\u201d Adam insisted, as he stood uncertainly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, come down to the bar when you\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam tried to nod, but nearly fell over, and held onto the bed head for support.\u00a0 Bessie left and Adam poured some water into the basin, plunging his head into it for as long as he could hold his breath.\u00a0 The shock of the cold water made him feel a little better and, after he had rubbed his hair dry on a towel, he followed Bessie down into the empty bar.\u00a0 He glanced across at the clock over the door, which told him it was nearly seven.\u00a0 He was late for work, and he hung his head guiltily.\u00a0 His father had left him in charge of the ranch and he had neglected that responsibility.\u00a0 He had also left his brothers alone, and while they did not need looking after, Adam knew that he should have been at home with them.<\/p>\n

Bessie brought out the coffee and Adam quickly drank a large mug full, then stood, gathering his hat and gun belt.<\/p>\n

\u201cBessie, thank you, for listening and for taking care of me last night.\u00a0 I hope that I behaved.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bessie looked regretful as she answered.\u00a0 \u201cOh, yes, you were the perfect gentleman.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam bent and kissed her lightly.\u00a0 \u201cAnother time.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Adam left Bessie whispered, \u201cI\u2019ll hold you to that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam went to the livery to find Sport, grateful that he had left the horse there when he had come into town.\u00a0 Perhaps he had planned to get drunk after all, but had not wanted to admit it to himself.\u00a0 As he left the stable, Ike Newton emerged from the telegraph office, waving to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Ike called, \u201cI got a message for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pulled Sport to a halt as the man came up to him and handed over a piece of paper.<\/p>\n

Adam read it: \u201cMiss Carlisle welcome stop position vacant stop come soonest full stop\u201d.\u00a0 It was signed \u2018Victor Abrahams\u2019.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s head was throbbing, but he smiled as he rode homewards.\u00a0 Despite the amount he had drunk the night before, he remembered his conversation with Bessie, and now knew that he didn\u2019t love Verity.\u00a0 His feelings were of friendship, and wanting to help her, and now he could.<\/p>\n

He rode into the yard, looking round. All was quiet, the hands had gone about their assigned tasks, and no one was left to see his late arrival.\u00a0 Adam tethered Sport and went into the house, where he found Joe seated on the settee with Verity, and they looked round as he entered.<\/p>\n

Joe saw the day\u2019s growth of beard on his brother\u2019s face and the look in his eyes that said he had had a heavy night.\u00a0 \u201cHi, Adam.\u00a0 Welcome home.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s tone was less than welcoming despite his words.\u00a0 They had all been worried when they found that he had not returned from town.<\/p>\n

Adam looked suitably ashamed.\u00a0 Yet again, his brother was taking on the role of the responsible one, as he had when he had caught Adam breaking his word to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were worried, you know.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked towards Verity, who seemed relieved that Adam had, at last, appeared.\u00a0 \u201cHoss went to organise the men, he\u2019s gone over to the south pasture.\u00a0 He said to tell you that, if you came back, he would see you there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll just go and change,\u201d Adam rubbed at his beard, \u201cand shave.\u00a0 Then I\u2019ll go find him.\u201d\u00a0 He disappeared upstairs.<\/p>\n

When he returned, Joe and Verity were laughing together, but stopped when they saw Adam.<\/p>\n

Verity spoke.\u00a0 \u201cWould you like some coffee before you go?\u201d she asked, uncertain of his mood.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo thanks, I\u2019ve wasted enough time already.\u201d\u00a0 He saw the hurt in Verity\u2019s eyes that his off-hand remark had caused, and immediately felt sorry.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean…yeah, why not?\u201d\u00a0 He sat in the leather armchair at one side of the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you two up to today?\u201d\u00a0 Adam said to break the uncomfortable silence.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled.\u00a0 \u201cVerity is going to teach me how to play the guitar,\u201d he announced.<\/p>\n

Adam almost spilled his coffee in surprise.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s what!\u201d\u00a0 He looked at Verity. \u201cYou do know that, apart from being tone deaf, he\u2019s got no sense of rhythm, and the only thing his fingers are any good at is running through a girl\u2019s hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure that\u2019s not true, besides he wants to learn.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had got over the shock of the revelation.\u00a0 \u201cOK, perhaps I\u2019m not being fair, I know he\u2019s got rhythm, I\u2019ve seen him dance.\u201d\u00a0 He faced Joe with a gleam in his eye.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, if you can pick out a tune by the end of the day, I\u2019ll do all your chores for a month,\u201d he promised, hoping that would encourage his young brother to persevere with the unaccustomed pastime.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh boy, now you\u2019re talking.\u00a0 Get out of here and let me get started.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rose and headed for the door.\u00a0 He had his hand on the latch as he turned.\u00a0 \u201cVerity, I have some news for you, but I want to tell you when I have more time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d said Verity, curious, \u201cwhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put on his hat, pulling it down low.\u00a0 He winked.\u00a0 \u201cTell you later,\u201d and was gone to meet Hoss.<\/p>\n

As Adam approached the pasture, he could smell smoke and the unmistakeable aroma of cooking, and joined the men for their midday meal.\u00a0 As he started to eat he realised how hungry he was, he had missed both supper the night before and breakfast, and was now making up for it.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t seen you eat that much in a while,\u201d observed Hoss who was tucking into his own plateful.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t been this hungry in a while,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0 He had apologised to Hoss for his lateness, and Hoss had accepted it, and his reasons.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid it help any?\u201d Hoss wanted to know.<\/p>\n

Adam rubbed his forehead.\u00a0 \u201cApart from leaving me with a headache, yes.\u00a0 I know that Verity was right, I don\u2019t love her.\u201d\u00a0 Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cEven when I say it now, I feel that I am betraying her somehow.\u00a0 But that\u2019s ridiculous, why should I?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss put his hand on his brother\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cBecause that\u2019s the sort of person you are, you care.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t known Verity very long, just since yesterday, but I can see what a good woman she is.\u00a0 Joe likes her too, and I think they are real close those two; he does everything she tells him.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss shook his head and his voice quivered as he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I think of what she\u2019s had to go through, it just ain\u2019t fair.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss stood and turned his back on Adam, taking a few paces away.\u00a0 Adam came up behind him and turned his bigger brother to face him.<\/p>\n

Adam saw the tears that fell from Hoss\u2019 eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou care too, don\u2019t you?\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded, not able to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess Pa has a lot to answer for, hasn\u2019t he?\u201d\u00a0 Adam smiled, and after a heartbeat, Hoss smiled back.<\/p>\n

Hoss wiped his hand over his face.\u00a0 \u201cWe gotta do something for her, Adam.\u00a0 We cain\u2019t let her bury herself in that ranch again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, she won\u2019t have to.\u00a0 I\u2019ve found her a way out.\u201d\u00a0 As Hoss was about to ask him about it, Adam stopped him.\u00a0 \u201cLater,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

The two brothers spent the afternoon organising the men who would stay with the herd for a few days, looking for strays and clearing the springs that provided water for the grazing, then they rode slowly home, arriving as Hop Sing was preparing to serve supper.<\/p>\n

When the meal was finished and they were all sitting round the fire relaxing, Verity handed Joe her guitar, the same one that Adam had given her.\u00a0 Adam looked up enquiringly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t!\u201d he exclaimed.<\/p>\n

Joe answered him.\u00a0 \u201cShe did, now listen.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started to pluck the strings in what was unmistakeably a tune, \u2018The Red River Valley\u2019.\u00a0 Occasionally he stumbled over a note or two, but he made it to the end and stopped.\u00a0 There was a second\u2019s silence then Hoss and Adam were congratulating him noisily.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, little brother, I never thought that you could do it,\u201d laughed Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was great, Joe.\u00a0 Well done,\u201d Adam said happily, and then groaned.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose you are going to hold me to my promise?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo right I will, all my chores for a month.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed, \u201cIt will be worth it, just to know that you can create something other than a ruckus.\u00a0 I never thought to see you holding that instrument, and actually enjoying it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither, brother, me neither.\u201d\u00a0 Joe shook his head in wonder.<\/p>\n

Verity was smiling at her pupil.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s promised me that he will keep it up.\u00a0 Learn more tunes and perhaps sing a little.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Hoss\u2019 turn to groan.\u00a0 \u201cOh no!\u00a0 Not singin\u2019, I\u2019ve heard tom cats make better music than Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d said Adam. \u201cJoe if you\u2019re going to sing, please don\u2019t do it near the corral, you\u2019ll frighten the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe picked up his music book and threw it at Adam, hitting him square in the face.\u00a0 Adam put his hands over his eyes and sank back in the chair, moaning.\u00a0 Joe was immediately frightened that his brother\u2019s eyes were damaged again.\u00a0 \u201cAdam!\u201d he shouted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam remained still for a second, then took his hands from his face and broke into a broad grin.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I\u2019m fine, but I had you worried for a minute,\u201d he laughed, satisfied with his revenge.<\/p>\n

Joe still looked frightened.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t ever do that again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I couldn\u2019t resist it.\u00a0 Seriously, Joe, that was good, you keep practising and you\u2019ll be even better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as Verity will keep teaching me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked at his tutor, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I will, you\u2019re a very good pupil.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam cleared his throat and turned to Verity.\u00a0 \u201cBefore you make that sort of commitment to my young brother, I have something to tell you.\u201d\u00a0 They all looked at Adam wondering what he had to say that was so serious.\u00a0 \u201cI have been thinking of those men who came to your ranch, and you saying that now you would have to leave.\u00a0 I agree that they have made you unsafe, I can see that, but I don\u2019t want you to have to go from place to place, always afraid that something similar would happen.\u201d\u00a0 Verity sat quietly, waiting for Adam to get to the point.\u00a0 \u201cI wrote to a friend of mine in Boston.\u00a0 Verity, how would you like a job as a music teacher?\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity looked shocked.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I couldn\u2019t, I told you…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but you could.\u00a0 My friend is a doctor, and spends much of his time at an institution in Boston, helping where he can.\u00a0 It\u2019s a home for the blind, and I thought that you could teach there.\u00a0 They have little in the way of education past the basics, but if you could teach them the delights to be found in music, you would be giving them a precious gift.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity looked thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cBlind, you say?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 Verity they can\u2019t see you, they will only know the beautiful person that I\u2026\u201d Adam paused, then held out his hand to include his brothers, \u201c\u2026we, have come to know.\u00a0 They will not judge you on your appearance, but only by how you treat them, and help them.\u201d\u00a0 He could see that she was considering it, and said nothing more.\u00a0 Joe and Hoss sat silently, thinking of the opportunity it would give her to lead something like a normal life.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what about the others there, the staff?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey will accept you for what you are giving those that they are trying to help.\u00a0 Please, say you\u2019ll do it, or at least try it for a time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity stood and paced round the room, torn between wanting to grasp this chance, and afraid to commit herself to being with people again.\u00a0 Finally, she went and stood in front of Adam, who rose and faced her.\u00a0 He put his hands on her shoulders as she looked at him, and stared into her eyes, willing her to say \u2018yes\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, thank you.\u201d\u00a0 Verity had been afraid that, after her rejection of his declaration of love, he would turn against her, and all the time he had been planning this.\u00a0 She hung her head, then raised her eyes to his.\u00a0 \u201cI will do it.\u00a0 It frightens me, just to think of the people I will have to face, but if I can help those less fortunate than myself, I will.\u00a0 They deserve the chance to have music in their lives, something that will make their isolation a little easier to bear.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled and hugged her to him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u201d\u00a0 Then he whispered in her ear, \u201cI want to talk to you, outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took Verity\u2019s hand and led her onto the veranda, where they sat, once more comfortable in each other\u2019s presence.<\/p>\n

\u201cVerity, I have been thinking about what you said, and you\u2019re right, I don\u2019t love you.\u00a0 Not as a husband should love a wife.\u201d\u00a0 He took her hand in his and smiled at her.\u00a0 \u201cBut I do love you as a friend, and I hope that you will be able to accept that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity smiled back at him.\u00a0 \u201cOf course.\u00a0 I love you the same way.\u00a0 It is so long since I have been able to speak to anyone as I have spoken to you and your family, and I am thankful for that.\u00a0 And I\u2019m so grateful for what you have done for me, finding something that I can do with my life.\u201d\u00a0 She paused.\u00a0 \u201cWhen do they want me to start?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs soon as possible, the telegraph said \u2018soonest\u2019, they seem to be in a hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will have to sell the ranch, and make arrangements for Matthew.\u00a0 He\u2019s been very loyal to me, looking after the ranch on his own.\u00a0 I owe him more than I can ever repay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you let me take care of all that, and I\u2019m sure I can find Matthew a job with us on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 After all, he comes highly recommended.\u201d\u00a0 Adam laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you?\u00a0 It would be a weight off my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s settled then.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you know what\u2019s happening, and once the ranch is sold, I\u2019ll send you the money.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity sat silently for a minute, and Adam could see that her mind was miles away.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you thinking?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was wondering if I really need the money.\u00a0 I told you that the death of my parents left me quite well off, and I was thinking that there might be something I could do that would help others like myself, anyone who feels cut off from the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVerity, when I thought that I might lose my sight, I had decided that I would go away, leave my family so that I should not be a burden to them.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you use the money to help people like that, who have no one, or who may have left their families for much the same reason.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure that you will meet people who could make something of their lives, with a little support and encouragement.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled at her as he saw that she was already thinking of ways of using the money.\u00a0 \u201cYou may even find those who could take their music further, who have the ability to do more than you can teach them.\u00a0 New instruments, or advanced teaching, it would be available to them with your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a wonderful idea, I could do so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know people in Boston who can help you to invest the money into a fund that will allow you to use the interest, without touching the capital, so that it will enable you to help more people.\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you a list of names and some letters of introduction.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I don\u2019t know how to thank you.\u00a0 You\u2019ve given me a new life, and a purpose, and I will be forever grateful.\u201d\u00a0 Verity laughed, \u201cYou promised to be my wind, and turned into a full blown gale.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood and pulled Verity into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cJust remember that you have friends here, if ever you need us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam bent his head and kissed her gently, and Verity responded.\u00a0 It was a kiss between friends, showing no desire, but given freely, needing no commitment other than to always be there for each other.<\/p>\n

**********
\nAdam sat beside Verity in the hotel restaurant as she waited for the stage to arrive.\u00a0 They both had a cup of coffee in front of them, but the drinks were cold and forgotten as they stared at each other, not wanting to part.\u00a0 There were long, awkward silences in their conversation, which had been light and meaningless, their thoughts elsewhere.\u00a0 They heard the rumble of the heavy coach as it pulled up outside the stage office, and Adam bent down to pick up Verity\u2019s small valise and the case protecting her guitar.\u00a0 All her other luggage would follow her to Boston by carrier.<\/p>\n

Verity\u2019s face was hidden behind a thick veil and she received curious glances as they made their way out into the street.\u00a0 But she ignored them, she was at the start of the road to a new life and she wasn\u2019t going to let the staring eyes upset her.\u00a0 Adam handed the cases up to the driver, and then they stood together on the sidewalk.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you everything you need?\u201d he asked and Verity nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 By the way, will you promise me that you will make Joe keep up with the guitar lessons?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, smiling.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll try, but I think it was the teacher who encouraged him to do it.\u00a0 He won\u2019t take very kindly to me helping him, he\u2019ll think I\u2019m just trying to give him some culture, and that\u2019s an old thorn between us.\u00a0 I have an instrument he can use if he wants to, it\u2019s not as good as the one I gave you, but it will do for now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps if you gave him his own guitar, he\u2019d be more willing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned over and kissed her cheek.\u00a0 \u201cOK, if you think it would help.\u00a0 Now, it\u2019s time for you to get aboard.\u201d\u00a0 Adam lifted Verity into the coach and saw her settled.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I nearly forgot,\u201d said Adam, reaching into his back pocket.\u00a0 \u201cThese are the letters of introduction.\u201d\u00a0 He handed her the envelopes and Verity looked through them, finding one addressed to herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t open it until you are on your way,\u201d Adam instructed.\u00a0 Verity was intrigued, but agreed to do as he asked.<\/p>\n

The driver called down that he was ready to leave, and the coach pulled out.\u00a0 Adam stood, waving as he saw Verity watching him, and, as the coach rounded a corner and disappeared from sight, he hung his head for a moment, thinking of what might have been.\u00a0 Then he turned, and nearly bumped into his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d he said in surprise, \u201cwhen did you get back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just got off the stage, had to go over to the telegraph office before I head home.\u201d\u00a0 Ben looked down the street.\u00a0 \u201cWho was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVerity Carlisle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s she going?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put his arm on his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll tell you on the way home.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Verity had watched the disappearing figure of her friend, and then settled deeper into her seat; she was the only passenger and she stretched her feet out across the coach.\u00a0 She had a long journey ahead of her, and now it was begun she was feeling both nervous and excited.\u00a0 She looked out of the window at the dry scrubland of the Carson valley, and the rocking motion of the stage was lulling her to sleep.\u00a0 Suddenly she remembered the letters that Adam had given her, which she still held in her hand.\u00a0 She put those addressed to Adam\u2019s contacts safely in her purse, holding on to the one with her name written boldly on the front.<\/p>\n

She stared at it for a long time, wondering what he had written.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath she tore it open, and, as she read the words of the verses on the single sheet of paper, tears came to her eyes at the thought of what she had left behind, at the future that was opening in front of her, and the man who had given her that new life.\u00a0 She knew that she would never forget.<\/p>\n

\u2018Great winds across the sky,\u2019 he said,<\/em>
\n\u2018Will carry you away<\/em>
\nFrom seclusion self-imposed, to bask<\/em>
\nIn the friendly light of day.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

He begged her, \u2018let me be your wind,<\/em>
\nTo help you find the light.<\/em>
\nFor you gave to me, a stranger,<\/em>
\nThe wondrous gift of sight.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

The love he then declared for her<\/em>
\nWas rightly spurned, he knew,<\/em>
\nAnd in its place, had gladly found,<\/em>
\nA deeper friendship grew.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018I have found for you,\u2019 he promised,<\/em>
\n\u2018A place where beauty lies,<\/em>
\nWhere men see not the outside<\/em>
\nAnd look not with their eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

They need your help, those lonely souls<\/em>
\nWho\u2019ve suffered darkness long,<\/em>
\nFor you can given them back the world<\/em>
\nIn music and in song.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your life will be full, yet again,<\/em>
\nAnd as the years go by<\/em>
\nRemember the friend, who carried you,<\/em>
\nOn winds across the sky.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0 (6)<\/em><\/p>\n

The End
\nNovember 2002
\nNotes:
\n(1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Care-charming Sleep\u2019<\/em> by John Fletcher 1579 – 1625
\n(2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 From \u2018 Walking<\/em>\u2019 by Thomas Traherne 1636 (?) – 1674
\n(3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Go, Lovely Rose<\/em>\u2019 by Edmund Waller 1606 – 1687
\n(4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018The Miracle<\/em>\u2019 an old English ballad Anon c.1600
\n(5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018First Sigh<\/em>t\u2019 by Christopher Marlowe 1564 – 1593
\n(6)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Great Winds Across the Sky<\/em>\u2019 by Adam Cartwright 1830 – Present day<\/p>\n

Ruth Halverson appears in the episode \u2018The Savage\u2019 written by Joe Stone and Paul King.
\nRegina Darien appears in the episode \u2018The Hopefuls\u2019 written by E Jack Newman.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 As Adam recovers from an accident, he wants to thank his rescuer, but that proves easier said than done.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (29,310 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10351,"featured_media":3223,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1005,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14051","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/adam_11.jpg?fit=796%2C638&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14051","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10351"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14051"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14051\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3223"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14051"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14051"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14051"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}