{"id":14070,"date":"2002-05-23T12:10:18","date_gmt":"2002-05-23T16:10:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14070"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:05:50","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:05:50","slug":"memories-of-love-5-the-unlooked-for-saviour-by-diana-g","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14070","title":{"rendered":"Memories of Love #5 – The Unlooked for Saviour (by Diana G)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>Hoss and Joe are full of good intentions when they try to help Adam out of his desolate mood, but it is wisely said that \u2018the road to Hell is paved with good intentions\u2019.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (19,870 words)<\/p>\n

Memories of Love Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Memories of Love<\/a>
\nThe Future of Love<\/a>
\nLove’s Rewards<\/a>
\nA Time to Heal<\/a>
\nThe Unlooked for Saviour <\/a>
\nTo Rage in Heaven<\/a><\/p>\n

Memories of Love #5 – The Unlooked for Saviour<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter One<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright was bored. This was a new experience for him, because as far as he could remember, he had never been bored in his life. There was always something to keep his attention when he had nothing particular to do. Whether it was thinking up improvements for the ranch, talking with his father, or just sitting quietly reading, he was never bored. Until now, when he found himself unable to settle to anything, nothing seemed to capture his interest and he found his mind wandering.<\/p>\n

He walked restlessly round the house, stopping at the kitchen door to watch his wife at work, her dark hair falling about her shoulders as she moved round the room. She stopped when she saw the black clad figure leaning against the doorjamb, watching her.<\/p>\n

\u201cDarling? Is something wrong?\u201d Becky asked her husband, as she saw the distracted look on his darkly handsome face.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, nothing,\u201d he lied, and turned away, walking aimlessly across the parlour and going up the stairs to their bedroom. He prowled the room, until he came to the bookshelves that lined one wall. He ran a finger along the leather bound volumes as he glanced at the titles, but none of them caught his attention. He went along the landing and looked into the bedrooms of his children, where three-year-old twins, Elizabeth and Josh, and one-year-old Alice, were all sleeping peacefully.<\/p>\n

He returned downstairs and went out of the front door. The late summer sun cast a red glow over the countryside, as it set behind the distant mountains. Adam lowered himself onto the swing seat on the porch, not moving as Becky came out and settled herself beside him. As she took his hand in hers, he turned and smiled absently at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what is it? You\u2019ve been so restless these last few weeks. What\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam wasn\u2019t sure that he could tell his beloved wife that he was bored. She would think that he was tired of her, and nothing could be further from the truth. She was the only thing that kept him sane, a bright harbour in his sea of tedium.<\/p>\n

Sensing that he wasn\u2019t going to answer, Becky continued in a matter-of-fact tone. \u201cIf you don\u2019t tell me soon, I will start imagining all kinds of terrible things. Then you will say that I have got it all wrong and you\u2019ll have to beg my forgiveness, apologise for not telling me, and tell me anyway. So why don\u2019t you save us both the trouble, and just tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put his arm round her and kissed the top of her head. \u201cBecky, have I told you lately that I love you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yes, but I don\u2019t mind if you keep saying it.\u201d She turned towards him, looking serious. \u201cAdam, I mean it, what\u2019s wrong? Please, I need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked out into the dusk, and when he spoke, his voice was so quiet that Becky had to strain to hear him. \u201cI feel as though I have no purpose to my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you feel that? You have the Ponderosa to look after, and me and your children here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know, but I have no challenge. You look after this place, and Joe and Hoss could easily manage the Ponderosa without me, though they won\u2019t admit it. I have more money than we\u2019ll ever need, a secure home, and a wonderful family. But I feel as though there should be more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by \u2018more\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d Adam stood, gazing out across the meadow in front of the house, then he turned to lean his back against one of the posts that surrounded the veranda, and stared down at his feet as he stuck his hands in the back pockets of his pants. \u201cI suppose I\u2019ve been used to working all my life for what I have, but now I don\u2019t need to. I have fought against all this country can throw at you, and I\u2019ve battled against men who would have taken it from us. But now\u2026now I feel that I don\u2019t need to fight any more. I\u2019ve built a home and, with my family, what people jokingly call an empire. What is there left to do?\u201d He hung his head in frustration, now that he had voiced what had been in his heart for weeks, he didn\u2019t much like it. He knew that he should be grateful for the life he had, and he was, but it left him dissatisfied.<\/p>\n

Adam pushed himself upright, turning away from his wife\u2019s worried gaze. Becky watched as he walked down the steps, heading towards the barn. She stared after him for a long time, thinking that his trademark black clothing was a little too appropriate, as it matched his mood.<\/p>\n

Inside the barn, Adam went over to Sport, a tall sorrel horse, who had been his faithful mount for more years than either of them cared to remember.<\/p>\n

Adam put his hand on the horse\u2019s nose and stroked him. \u201cHello boy. I suppose we\u2019re both getting old, hn?\u201d<\/p>\n

The horse snickered, bouncing his head up and down as though in reply. Adam chuckled to himself. \u201cWell there\u2019s no need to agree quite so readily.\u201d<\/p>\n

He picked up a brush and started to work on Sport\u2019s coat, still sleek and shiny despite his years. The action helped Adam to forget his boredom for a moment, so that by the time he had finished, he felt a little better. In the next stall, Adam ran his hand over the coat of his new mount, Fiddler, a bay gelding who reminded Adam of Sport when he was younger. He was a demanding ride, never still and constantly fidgeting, with a spirit that was never truly broken. Adam patted Fiddler\u2019s neck absently, then he made his way back to the house. As he walked out of the barn, he thought about what he would be doing tomorrow, and the weariness settled back on his shoulders as he realised that it was the same thing that he had done yesterday, and last week, and last month.<\/p>\n

The following day Becky joined Adam when he went to work at his family\u2019s ranch. Since his father, Ben had married Alice and retired from the active running of the Ponderosa, Adam with Hoss and Joe, his younger brothers, had taken over.<\/p>\n

While Adam went to visit the logging camp, Ben and Alice sat with Becky in the living room. Josh and Elizabeth were playing round their feet, occasionally jumping up to chase each other noisily round the room. As Alice poured another cup of coffee from the pot that was tucked safely out of the way in the fireplace, she turned her piercingly perceptive grey eyes on Becky.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, my dear, I have to say that I have never seen you so glad to get rid of your husband. You almost pushed him out of the door, why?\u201d asked Alice coming straight to the point, worried that the couple might have a problem.<\/p>\n

Becky put her cup down in the middle of the large wooden coffee table that stood between the sofa and the fireplace, and her hands twisted in her lap as she tried to find the words to tell her parents-in-law of the things Adam had said to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to speak to you both, I need your advice. I\u2019m worried about Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben interrupted anxiously. \u201cIs he ill?\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky looked at her father-in-law, his dark eyes beneath the grey hair registering his concern. She put her hand on his knee to reassure him. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, it\u2019s nothing like that, as far as I know he\u2019s fine. No, it\u2019s not as simple as that.\u201d Becky stood and went to rescue Little Alice from the legs of the dining chair under which she had crawled. Two pairs of eyes followed her, waiting for her to continue. Becky sat down with the baby on her lap, jogging her up and down to keep her quiet.<\/p>\n

She looked at Ben. \u201cAdam feels that he has no purpose in life, no challenge, that you don\u2019t need him here any more. He\u2019s just going through every day not really having to think about what he\u2019s doing, because he\u2019s done it all before. He needs something to revive his interest. I am worried about him, he\u2019s been so distant of late. He\u2019s just as loving, but the heart seems to have gone out of him. You know how quickly his mood can change, he will turn inwards, away from me and the children, and then I fear that he may\u2026\u201d Becky stopped, afraid of her thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cMay what?\u201d Alice prompted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am afraid that one day he may not be able to fight his way back to us, that he may simply decide that it\u2019s not worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecky, I don\u2019t think you need worry about that,\u201d Ben assured her. \u201cSince you came into his life, Adam is more settled, more able to cope with his moods. You are a constant in his life on which he can depend, someone who is always there for him. He knows that no matter what his trouble, he can turn to you as he never managed to turn to his family. We have too much history together, have lived through too much sorrow, for him to be able to forget, and he has always felt it wrong to burden us with his problems. But you share happier memories with him, memories which I think he treasures, they stop him from losing himself in his moods.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know and I\u2019m grateful for that, but this has been going on too long.\u201d Becky shook her head, still worried despite Ben\u2019s words.<\/p>\n

Alice went to sit on the arm of the chair, beside Becky, and put her arm comfortingly round the younger woman\u2019s shoulders. \u201cMy dear, I\u2019m sure that Adam would never think you were not worth the effort. He loves you and the children, you are his reason for living. You must be patient with him, be there for him, and support him when he needs it. Remember that he\u2019s just had his fortieth birthday, an age when a lot of men feel the same. They start to worry about their lives because they know that their youth has gone and they see old age creeping up on them. I suspect Adam feels that he needs to prove that he is still the man he used to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d protested Becky. \u201cHe has nothing to prove, not to himself and certainly not to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I know,\u201d acknowledged Alice. \u201cBut that may be how he sees it. He\u2019s lucky to be able to indulge his feelings, and fortunate to have you to care about him. I\u2019m sure this will pass, and then Adam will be back to normal, just give him time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Alice, I hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like me to talk to him?\u201d Ben offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not yet, perhaps Alice is right. Let\u2019s just wait and see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss found them sitting silently, mulling over the problem, when they came in a few minutes later.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi Becky,\u201d said Ben\u2019s youngest son Joe, as he picked up his nephew and tossed him squealing, into the air. Josh clutched Joe round the neck, laughing in delight as he looked into the handsome face of his uncle, so Joe did it again before setting him back on his feet. Meanwhile Hoss was galloping round the dining table with Elizabeth on his back, the contrast in size was startling, the large man making the child seem like a toy.<\/p>\n

Both brothers sensed the atmosphere at the same time and looked at each other. They came to sit down, Hoss on the sofa and Joe on the arm of Becky\u2019s chair, leaving the children to their play<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d asked Joe, looking from his father to Becky.<\/p>\n

\u201cSummat\u2019s wrong,\u201d added Hoss, \u201cwhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at Becky, who didn\u2019t seem inclined to answer, so he did it for her.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecky\u2019s worried about Adam. It seems that he has come to the conclusion that life holds nothing for him, no challenge, no interest, and we don\u2019t need him any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe both started to protest at the same time.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s ridiculous\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can he think that\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

They looked at each other, as Joe continued. \u201cHe\u2019s our brother, of course we need him, he knows that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he?\u201d asked Becky.<\/p>\n

\u201cHas anyone told him that?\u201d Ben wondered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell perhaps not, but he knows,\u201d Hoss said defensively.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuite honestly, if you told him so at the moment, I don\u2019t think he would believe you.\u201d Becky cuddled Little Alice who was dropping off to sleep in her arms. She looked at Hoss, feeling comforted by the concern that radiated from his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry,\u201d he said, \u201cwe\u2019ll find some way to let him know, leave it to us. Joe come on, we\u2019ve got some thinkin\u2019 to do.\u201d Hoss and Joe went outside, leaving behind three very worried people.<\/p>\n

They made their way out to the barn, where Joe started to groom Cochise while Hoss sat on a straw bale, watching him work.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you got any ideas?\u201d Hoss asked. Ben\u2019s middle son was a man of great physical strength, but Hoss knew that his younger brother was the one with the strong imagination.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve got to make him feel that he\u2019s needed, right?\u201d said Joe, pointing the dandy brush at Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s about it. But how?\u201d Hoss shook his head, he had no ideas. He knew that if Adam wasn\u2019t there to help them, they would struggle to run the ranch as easily as they did, but how to show him?<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s do what Adam would do, look at this logically. Adam feels that we don\u2019t need him, that he has no purpose to his life. Now, we could tell him we can manage without him and then let him see that we can\u2019t, but by the time we persuaded him of that it might be too late for him, and the ranch might have suffered to the extent that it would take a long time to recover. Or we can give him a purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah right, but what?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stopped brushing the pinto as he leant on the horse\u2019s rump, his green eyes looking intently at Hoss. \u201cWell, when I think of older brother Adam, not the person but what he means to me, I think of him protecting us, looking after us. How about you?\u201d asked Joe. He was twelve years younger than Adam, and six years younger than Hoss, but Joe knew that except for the years that Adam had spent at college and at sea, his brother had always been there, taking care of them. He was always around to get them out of trouble, helping to solve the problems that seemed insurmountable to his younger siblings.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, that\u2019s right,\u201d said Hoss beginning to see what his kid brother was getting at. \u201cWe need to get him to protect us. But how?\u201d Hoss spread his arms, he couldn\u2019t think of anything that Adam might need to protect them from at that moment.<\/p>\n

Joe started to pace back and forth in front of Hoss, as ideas ran through his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if one of us was in trouble and we could get Adam to help, then he would see that he had a purpose, that he was needed.\u201d Joe paced some more, then stopped and snapped his fingers, pointing at Hoss. \u201cI know, if you went to Adam and told him that I\u2019d disappeared, he\u2019d come looking for me, wouldn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess so, but where are you gonna disappear to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d More pacing followed, while Joe considered what he could do that would get Adam to search him out. He stopped in front of Hoss with a look of triumph on his face, as the answer suddenly presented itself.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe line shacks need checking, don\u2019t they?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019ll go and do that, but I\u2019ll send Cochise home without me. He knows every inch of these trails, he\u2019ll find his way back home, no problem. Then you go to Adam and tell him I\u2019m missing. He\u2019ll be out there so fast he won\u2019t know what hit him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he\u2019ll expect me to go with him, won\u2019t he? We need something he can do on his own.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe considered the problem. \u201cNo, you\u2019ll be too ill to go anywhere. Yeah, we\u2019ll get Pa to tell him, not you,\u201d said Joe thinking, as the plan solidified in his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, anyone can see that I ain\u2019t ill.\u201d Hoss was his usual robust self, not looking the slightest bit poorly. This did not stop Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll tell Hop Sing what we\u2019re doing. I\u2019m sure that he can come up with something to make you ill for a day or two.\u201d Hop Sing, their housekeeper, was wise in the natural remedies that could be found in the countryside. He also knew the effects of the things one shouldn\u2019t eat. Joe was sure that he would be able to find something that would make Hoss ill for a while, without actually harming him.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked thoughtful. \u201cIt might work, yeah, it might just work.\u201d Then he looked doubtful, \u201cI suppose that I\u2019ll have to go off my feed for a day or two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, it\u2019s a small price to pay. I can pretend to need rescuing, I had lots of practice at making out I was hurting when I didn\u2019t want to go to school, Pa always fell for it, though Adam was more difficult to convince, but he\u2019ll be so pleased to find me he won\u2019t notice if I\u2019m not really hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss smiled at each other, they had a plan that would work.
\nChapter Two<\/p>\n

Adam had arranged to meet Becky in the lower pasture before he came home. She rode in the surrey, with Josh and Elizabeth chattering beside her, Alice asleep in the Moses basket tied onto the rear seat. On such a warm day it was good to feel the breeze on their faces as the horse trotted towards the pasture.<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t hear them approach. In the ten minutes that he had been waiting his mind had wandered to other places, and other times. He was startled as he heard Becky call his name.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was it you wanted me to look at?\u201d he asked as Becky drew level.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think one or two of the cows are sickening, they seem to be losing weight.\u201d Becky turned and pointed at the herd. \u201cYou see the one with the large patch of white on its rump, and the one with a lop-sided horn? What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam moved Fiddler a few steps nearer the herd as he looked for the cows Becky had pointed out. He sat still for a few minutes, unmoving, his mind again wandering away from this place, to another place, in the East.<\/p>\n

Suddenly he was startled from his dreams as he heard the drumming of hooves. The surrey sailed past him, the horse running in panic. Becky had lost her grip on the reins and had thrown her arms round her frightened children. Elizabeth buried her face in Becky\u2019s skirt, but Josh was watching what was happening, excited at the speed they were travelling. Becky looked round to assure herself that Alice was firmly fixed into the seat. Becky had not screamed as the horse took off, she was not the screaming type.<\/p>\n

Adam immediately pushed Fiddler into a full gallop and bore down on the fleeing animal. As he drew level, he leant sideways to make a grab for the reins, but he couldn\u2019t reach them as they flailed between the legs of the horse. He did the only thing he could; he leaped from Fiddler and grabbed the terrified creature round the neck. Mindful of the need to avoid the thundering hooves, he forced the horse\u2019s head down, until gradually it slowed and stopped. Becky ran to her husband, but was worried by his sharp intake of breath when she threw her arms round his neck<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, are you hurt?\u201d she asked anxiously, standing back to look at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, just pulled a few muscles, don\u2019t worry. I might be a bit stiff tomorrow, but some tender loving care will soon fix it.\u201d He smiled at Becky, then drew her into his arms and hugged her as tight as his aching shoulders would allow. As she smiled up at him, he realised that he could have lost her.<\/p>\n

Josh and Elizabeth climbed down from the surrey, and suddenly Adam felt arms encircling each of his legs. He released Becky and knelt down to put an arm round his son and elder daughter. He hugged them, getting kisses on his cheeks in return, then Josh and Elizabeth ran off, their terror forgotten.<\/p>\n

Adam turned back to his wife. \u201cBecky, I\u2019m sorry, I wasn\u2019t paying attention, you could have been killed. I was daydreaming, not concentrating. If I had been, I could have stopped that horse sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we weren\u2019t hurt, don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam suddenly felt the restlessness of the last few weeks lift from him as though he had taken off a heavy coat. He knew what could have been the outcome of his being wrapped in his own selfish emotions. He could have lost the most important thing in his life, his family.<\/p>\n

Becky put her hand to his face, softly caressing his cheek to sooth the worry that had appeared in his brown eyes. Adam turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand, then leant down and kissed her lips, gently at first then with more passion, as the fear of losing his beloved took hold of his heart. Becky responded briefly, then pushed him away, remembering the children who were playing unattended. As she pushed on his shoulders, he winced again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we\u2019d better get you home and into a warm bath, then I\u2019ll rub some liniment into those muscles.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cYes, I think I like the sound of that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Having retrieved Fiddler and the children, Adam rode beside the surrey as they slowly made their way back to the house. They decided that the horse had been frightened by a bird flying up in front of his nose, but had settled down enough to take them home.<\/p>\n

When they took the children into the kitchen to give them an early supper, Adam noticed that Becky was very quiet as she fed Alice. He saw that her hand shook as she held the spoon, so as soon as the meal was finished he took Alice from Becky, ordering his wife to sit down in front of the fire while he put the baby to bed. Once he had done that, he found Josh and Elizabeth some paper and pencils and sat them at the table, where they were content to entertain themselves drawing for a while.<\/p>\n

Adam made Becky a cup of strong coffee, into which he slipped a little whiskey. He sat beside her to ensure that she drank it while he watched, then he took the empty cup from her and placed it on the table beside him. Adam turned back to his wife, and as he took her hand, he could feel that she was still shaking.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, thank you.\u201d She turned towards him, smiling gratefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you? For what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could have been hurt, coming after us like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed lightly as he eased his aching shoulders. \u201cYou still owe me a hot bath and a massage,\u201d he reminded her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you shall have it.\u201d She made to get up, but Adam stopped her.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go, I want to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky settled back, waiting for him to speak. She watched as Adam stood and began to pace to and fro in front of her.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecky, it was my fault, I could have stopped that horse taking off like he did, but I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn\u2019t notice what was happening.\u201d He paused, trying to find the words that would explain to Becky how he felt. \u201cWhen we married, I was so busy looking after you, and then the children, I didn\u2019t have time to think about how my life had changed. I suppose life is continually changing and evolving, but you\u2019re too busy to notice. You have a quiet time, then a time when there are demands to be met, then that passes and a quiet time comes again. But suddenly I saw in front of me a life with no demands. Instead of ups and downs, I only saw a life levelled out, no high spots, but equally no depressions, and no challenges.\u201d He sat down again beside Becky and held her hand gently, caressing her slim fingers. \u201cWell, what happened today made me realise that I don\u2019t want the ups and downs, I just want you, and the children. It\u2019s enough for me, and always will be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stopped speaking, took Becky in his arms, and held her tight.<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand,\u201d Becky assured him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you? Can you see that I don\u2019t need anything else? I thought I needed more, but I was wrong. I want us to be able to bring up the children in a settled life, a good life. That\u2019s what we have now, and I don\u2019t want it to change. I\u2019m sorry that you have been worried about me, but that\u2019s passed, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky gently pushed away from Adam and gazed at him. \u201cThank you, I was worried. Worried that I couldn\u2019t give you the life you craved, that somehow you were not happy being married, that you might go in search of something else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would never leave you, you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must admit that you did leave us. Your mind has been elsewhere for the past few weeks.\u201d Becky accused gently, and Adam looked sheepish.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you\u2019re right, but not any more, I just want to be here, with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure, really sure? Because if you want to go in search of whatever it was you wanted, I won\u2019t stop you. I want you to be happy, and if that means that you have to go away for a while, I won\u2019t stand in your way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s heart ached, as her words confirmed yet again what a precious gift he had been given in this woman, and he realised what he had been doing to her. He slipped off the sofa to kneel in front of Becky, and as he took both her hands in his, he noticed that she had stopped shaking.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecky, I swear that I will never leave you, I don\u2019t want anything else, or any other life but the one I have here. I know that now with a deep certainty, and I want you to be certain of it as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky raised Adam to his feet as she stood. She put her arms round his neck, pulled his head towards her, and kissed him deeply. He responded, putting his hands to her waist to draw her close, until they heard Josh and Elizabeth giggling behind them. They looked round and saw that the children were watching them. They smiled at each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get the children to bed, then you can tend to my aching muscles, and I can show you how appreciative I am of your nursing,\u201d said Adam smiling mischievously. Becky, hoping that he was feeling strong enough to deliver what he was promising, anticipated an exciting evening together as she smiled back.
\nChapter Three<\/p>\n

Adam rode towards the Ponderosa the following day with a light heart. He had decided to take Sport as his mount because the animal needed the exercise, and was a gentler ride than the young Fiddler. Adam needed that today, his shoulders had stiffened up despite Becky\u2019s ministrations, but he ignored the discomfort, lost in the beauty of the world around him, which he was looking at with new eyes. Eyes that were not clouded with imagined longings for other things, and other places.<\/p>\n

He pulled into the yard, led Sport to the barn, and once the horse was settled, went into the house. He had planned a day of paperwork, which was just as well, he didn\u2019t feel like riding any further.<\/p>\n

His father greeted him, then made him sit down to have some coffee before he started work. Ben could see that Adam had a spring in his step, and that a smile came easily to his lips as they talked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m glad to see that you look a bit better,\u201d Ben observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m fine.\u201d Adam was suddenly thoughtful as he glanced at his father. \u201cPa, did you ever have times when you wished that you had done something different with your life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I suppose so. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if we\u2019d stayed in Boston instead of coming out here. But then I remember what I would have missed, I wouldn\u2019t have Hoss and Joe for a start, would never have known Inger and Marie, and I wouldn\u2019t have wanted that. No, I\u2019m happy with the life I\u2019ve led.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, it was the answer he had expected. \u201cI wondered for a while if I had done the right thing by coming back here after college, or what I would have done if I had decided to keep grandfather\u2019s shipping business instead of selling it. But, like you, I know that I wouldn\u2019t give up what I have now.\u201d He smiled at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad,\u201d said Ben, relieved that Alice\u2019s prognosis was proving correct.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Hoss? I saw Chubb still in the barn.\u201d Adam remembered that he had been puzzled to see his brother\u2019s horse.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not well. Got an upset stomach.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no, don\u2019t tell me he can\u2019t eat!\u201d Adam laughed, he knew the effect that not eating had on his younger, but much bigger brother.<\/p>\n

Ben laughed with him. \u201cThat\u2019s right, and you never saw anyone so miserable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go up and see him, try to cheer him up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben followed Adam as he entered Hoss\u2019 bedroom and saw the downcast face looking at them from the pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi brother,\u201d Adam said cheerfully, then he turned to his father. \u201cPa, has anybody warned the town of impending disaster?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019ya mean?\u201d Hoss frowned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I can see a sudden down turn in trade is about to hit Virginia City if you can\u2019t eat.\u201d Adam laughed at the pained expression that greeted his remark, and Ben joined in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy d\u2019ya have to be so happy?\u201d Despite the discomfort in his stomach, Hoss could see that Adam was looking disgustingly pleased with himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I am. It\u2019s a beautiful day and I mean to make the most of it.\u201d Adam winced as he eased his shoulders, thinking that they were the only black spot in an otherwise fine morning. Ben noticed the movement.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened, you hurt yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nothing, the horse bolted with the surrey yesterday, just pulled some muscles when I stopped it.\u201d He turned to Hoss. \u201cSo when are you going to be up and about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing reckons tomorrow, or the day after.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll keep some of your chores till then, in that case,\u201d Adam promised him. \u201cBut the paperwork won\u2019t wait, I\u2019ll come up and see you later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, thanks.\u201d Hoss said despondently. He curled up under the covers as his father and brother left, trying to find some comfort for his aching gut. Then he groaned, as he realised that his suffering was for nothing. It seemed as though Adam had got himself out of his black mood without his brothers\u2019 help.<\/p>\n

After lunch, Adam was still sitting at the desk in the office alcove working on a new timber contract, when Ben came running in through the front door, shouting.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put the papers aside and went to his father. \u201cWhat is it, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCochise just came into the yard, but there\u2019s no sign of Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere was he going today?\u201d asked Adam, as he picked up his gun belt and hat from the sideboard by the front door, preparing to leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure, but Hoss should know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben and Adam ran upstairs. As they questioned him, they detected a definite reluctance on Hoss\u2019 part.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, what is it, what aren\u2019t you telling me?\u201d asked Adam suspiciously.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry \u2018bout Joe.\u201d Hoss said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019ya mean, don\u2019t worry? Cochise came in alone!\u201d shouted his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Joe\u2019s fine, he\u2019s not in any danger.\u201d Hoss explained about their plan. As he did so Adam sat on the chair by the window, and Ben sat down on the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI aught to leave him to stew up there for a few days,\u201d said Adam, but then he realised that his brothers had only done this to help him. But there was always the possibility that Joe might really be in trouble, he couldn\u2019t afford to take the chance.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to be all right to ride up there?\u201d asked Ben, remembering Adam\u2019s sore shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019ve brought Sport with me, so I\u2019ll take it slow. I\u2019ll stay with Joe at the line shack, and we\u2019ll come back tomorrow. Would you send someone over to Becky, to let her know I won\u2019t be back tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n

Adam looked hard at his brother. \u201cHoss, next time you and Joe come up with a hair brained scheme, could you make it something a little less dangerous. I\u2019m going to have to go and make sure that Joe is all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

After a visit to the kitchen, Adam went to the barn to saddle Sport and a spare horse for Joe, then rode out, heading towards the line shack on Diamond Head.
\nChapter Four<\/p>\n

When Joe was in sight of the line shack, he dismounted and turned Cochise towards home. He slapped the pinto\u2019s rump, shouting at him to go. Cochise ran a few steps, stopped, then turned to look at his master.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Cooch, just go will ya.\u201d Joe was quietly delighted that the horse didn\u2019t want to leave him, but frustrated that if he didn\u2019t it would ruin everything.<\/p>\n

He went to the animal and again tried to get him to go, finally drawing his gun, firing in the air. Cochise looked uneasy for a moment, so Joe fired again. This was too much for the horse, who took off at a gallop. Joe made his way down towards the shack and as he pushed the door open, he could smell the dust that had accumulated through lack of use during the fine summer months. He knew that he would have a few hours to wait, so he spent time checking round the place, fixing loose boards and filling the wood box. Then with nothing left to do, he went back inside, and after spreading out the blankets, settled himself on a cot in one corner of the room. He lay there for a while daydreaming, then he gradually fell asleep.<\/p>\n

He woke, stretched, and went to the door. Looking at the light outside, he estimated that it was late afternoon.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, brother if you\u2019re coming to get me, I hope you won\u2019t be much longer, gets kinda lonely up here, a man could start talking to himself.\u201d Joe giggled at his humour, but remembering that Adam might arrive at any moment, he went back to the bed, where he lay down planning just how hurt he should appear. When he was satisfied that he had made all the preparations necessary, he started thinking sleepily about the upcoming dance in Virginia City, sifting through in his mind the options he had for partners. There was Gail, or Annie, or Mary, or\u2026<\/p>\n

It was dark in the cabin when he next woke, though he could see it was only dusk outside. He knew immediately what had woken him; it was the hand over his mouth and the sound of a revolver being cocked next to his right ear. Someone was standing behind him. He tried to rise but the hand held him down, pressing on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t move,\u201d said a deep voice with a southern accent. \u201cYou should\u2019na come here, now I\u2019m gonna have to get rid of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s heart was pounding in his chest, and he again tried to move, but the man behind him pressed the gun into his temple.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay still, or yer dead, you hear me?\u201d Joe nodded and lay still. He hoped that the man had been foolish enough to leave his horse in view outside, so that Adam would have some warning of the danger when he arrived.<\/p>\n

Joe heard the rustle of cloth and the creak of leather as the man knelt down to speak in his ear. Joe tried to turn his head to look at the figure behind him, but the combined pressures of gun and hand prevented any movement.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, there\u2019s one way you c\u2019n save yer miserable life, you wanna hear it?\u201d the deep voice asked. Joe nodded carefully, wondering what he might have to do in exchange for his life.<\/p>\n

The man behind him continued. \u201cYou have to promise me something. Will you promise?\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, Joe nodded, if there was a way out of this he was going to take it.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to clean all Adam\u2019s tack for the next month.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe paused wondering if he had heard right, then as the pressure on his face eased he swung himself up off the cot. He had trouble seeing the black clad figure in the shadows.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I\u2019m gonna kill you,\u201d said Joe, as he recognised his eldest brother, who was bent double with laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell you deserved that, making me ride all the way up here in my condition,\u201d said Adam. His shoulders ached after the long ride, and the pain had crept up to his head. Adam felt the need for sympathy; he wanted Joe to know what he had unnecessarily put his brother through.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d Suddenly Joe was concerned, he could see Adam wince as he straightened up.<\/p>\n

Adam eased his shoulders. \u201cI should be at home being ministered to by my wife, and instead of that, you drag me up here to rescue you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was replacing the bullets in his gun as he went to sit at the table in the centre of the room. Joe found a lamp and lit it, placing it on the table. He was shaking as a result of the threats made by his brother, and suddenly he realised how it was that Adam could so often get himself out of trouble by words alone. No one in his right mind would challenge that voice, southern accent or not.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you know\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss told me.\u201d When he saw Joe\u2019s reaction to his words Adam held up his hand. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, it was a good idea, but your timing is a bit off. Thanks to a wayward horse, I don\u2019t need your help to bring me out of the mood I was in.\u201d He moved to stand in front of his younger, smaller brother, and held his shoulders. \u201cBut thank you anyway, I appreciate what you tried to do, and I\u2019m sorry about scaring you, but I couldn\u2019t resist it. Had to get Hoss some revenge for you making him go off his food.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed again and this time Joe joined in.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you hurt your shoulders?\u201d asked Joe; he could see that Adam was uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Becky\u2019s horse bolted with the surrey. Don\u2019t worry, she\u2019s fine, so are the children.\u201d Adam sat down again and lowered his eyes away from his brother\u2019s intense gaze. \u201cBut it brought me back to my senses, knowing that I could have lost them.\u201d He looked up. \u201cSeriously, Joe, I am grateful for what you were trying to do. Now how about cooking your poor old aching brother some supper, hn? There\u2019s food in my saddle bags.\u201d Adam wasn\u2019t really very hungry, but he wanted to keep Joe occupied to prevent him from questioning his elder brother any further on his attitude, and the reasons behind it.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled, nodded, and went outside, emptying the supplies on the table when he returned. Adam had brought supper with him, provided by Hop Sing. After their meal, the two men sat talking for a while, then turned in, planning to make an early start.<\/p>\n

Faint morning light was lifting the shadows in the cabin as Joe was startled awake. He knew what had woken him; it was the hand over his mouth and the sound of a gun being cocked beside his right ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, don\u2019t move and you won\u2019t get hurt,\u201d said a deep voice.<\/p>\n

Joe exploded from the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, that\u2019s not funny. I\u2019m gonna\u2026\u201d Joe stopped, stunned, as he realised that he was looking at a stranger.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you not to move.\u201d The stranger stepped forward and struck Joe on the side of the head, making him fall to the floor, his vision narrowing. He lay there and turned his head to look for Adam, but he was not in the cot where he had been sleeping. As Joe struggled back to his feet, the door opened to reveal two men supporting his brother between them, but Adam\u2019s chin rested on his chest, so Joe could only see the top of his head. The two men had hold of Adam\u2019s arms, and as they released him, he fell to the floor at Joe\u2019s feet. Joe heard him groan, and as Adam rolled onto his back, Joe could see that blood was running down his brother\u2019s face from a cut on his head.<\/p>\n

Joe knelt down beside him. \u201cAdam, can you hear me? Adam!\u201d he put his hand on his brother\u2019s arm, squeezing it gently.<\/p>\n

Adam looked with unfocused eyes at Joe, and nodded. Joe put his hands under Adam\u2019s shoulders to help him to his feet, then supported him as his taller, heavier brother leant against him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d Joe demanded, looking at the three men who crowded the small room. The man holding the gun on him was as tall as Adam but thinner, with thick, dark eyebrows over mean, narrow eyes. The other two were surprisingly alike, though of obviously different ages, both shorter, nearer Joe\u2019s height, and fair with small, pale eyes in their round faces. They were also holding guns, covering Joe and Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cSit down,\u201d the dark haired man ordered. Joe helped Adam to the table, where they sat side by side, Joe looking anxiously at his brother, seeing the blood seeping down his face and watching for any signs that he might pass out again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat we don\u2019t want is you two causing us any trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

The three men surrounded the brothers. Adam glanced sideways at Joe and nodded, indicating that he was all right, then he looked round at the men.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you?\u201d asked Adam huskily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll ask the questions,\u201d the man said as he weighed up the two in front of him. He looked at Adam. \u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCartwright,\u201d said Adam reluctantly, then as the man raised his eyebrows in question, he added, \u201cAdam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you?\u201d the man said, looking at Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s my brother.\u201d Adam answered before Joe could speak.<\/p>\n

The older of the two fair-haired men reached out and twisted his fingers in Adam\u2019s black hair, pulling his head up and backwards, until Adam was stretched over the back of the chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, Finn wasn\u2019t asking you.\u201d Adam raised his hands to try to stop his hair being pulled out by the roots, but the man pushed Adam\u2019s head forward, crashing it into the tabletop. He lay across the rough surface, his arms spread out in front of him, as he lost consciousness.<\/p>\n

Joe leaped to his feet to defend his brother, but was met by two guns pointing squarely at his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cSit down,\u201d Finn commanded from the other side of the table. Joe slowly lowered himself into the chair then he put his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder and shook it gently, but got no reaction.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t look like brothers,\u201d said the younger fair-haired man.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to look at him. \u201cWell we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCartwright, eh. Seems to me like I know that name,\u201d said Finn, as a thoughtful look came into his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should,\u201d said Joe through gritted teeth, \u201cyou\u2019re on our land.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour land?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn glanced round, looking out of the window. \u201cSo this is the Ponderosa? Yeah, I\u2019ve heard of it. Well, this changes things, eh boys?\u201d Finn looked at the other men, who stared back at him, uncertain of his meaning.<\/p>\n

Finn enlarged on his comment as an idea formed in his head. \u201cI think we just found us a way outta here. No one\u2019s going to try to stop us if we threaten to kill these two.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cory nodded his agreement. \u201cYeah, good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

His younger brother, Jess, was less certain. \u201cBut we\u2019ll have to keep an eye on them, that\u2019ll slow us down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t matter, like I say, no one\u2019s going to challenge us while we got them,\u201d said Finn, and a vicious grin crossed his face. When he saw the look on Finn\u2019s face, Joe knew they were in trouble. Finn looked at that moment like a man who held their lives in very little regard, someone who would snuff them out at the slightest provocation. Joe wished Adam would wake up, he knew that his brother would know what to do, how to handle these men. Joe\u2019s first reaction was to try and fight his way out, but he thought of what Adam would have said, if Joe had been able to suggest it to him. He would tell his impetuous brother to calm down and think about what he was doing, that men with drawn guns always held the upper hand, and there were better ways to handle it.<\/p>\n

Joe decided that cooperation might let them live a little longer, even perhaps find an opportunity for escape. \u201cMister, please may I tend to my brother?\u201d Joe asked, deferentially. He needed to show Finn that he was prepared to accept the situation, and not cause them any trouble.<\/p>\n

Finn liked the tone Joe had used; he thought that the younger brother was accepting the prospect of being their prisoner. He decided that it wouldn\u2019t hurt to give him a little encouragement, let him think that if he behaved it would go easier on them.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but Cory, tie the big one\u2019s hands first.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cory found a rope to tie Adam\u2019s hands behind his back, then helped to move him to the cot on which Joe had been lying.<\/p>\n

Joe got some water to clean the blood from his brother\u2019s face. He could see a deep gash just under the hairline, and Adam\u2019s eyebrow was cut and swollen where he had hit the table. As Joe continued to try to stop the wounds bleeding, Adam opened his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, have they\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, they\u2019re still here, but they let me get you cleaned up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought that was a good sign, but then he hadn\u2019t seen the look on Finn\u2019s face when he found out who he had taken prisoner. Adam was uncomfortable, and realised that he was bound when he tried to move his hands. His heart sank as he admitted to himself that they were outnumbered, outgunned, and at the mercy of these men. He turned his attention to Finn.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2026\u201d He stopped, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his scattered wits. \u201cWhat do you want with us?\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn came to stand behind Joe, looking down at the older brother. \u201cYou\u2019re going to be our ticket outta here. The law won\u2019t come after us if we got you,\u201d Finn explained.<\/p>\n

Adam looked up into the mean, dark eyes that were observing him. Suddenly he was afraid, he had seen that look in other eyes and it always meant trouble. He knew that he had to get Joe away from these men, so despite the pain in his head and the fact that he was having trouble concentrating, he formulated a simple but logical argument in his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t need both of us, and one\u2019d be easier to keep an eye on.\u201d he said quietly, but persuasively.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut two\u2019s better than one, ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head slowly. \u201cYou\u2019ll need to let the sheriff know you\u2019ve got a hostage. No good holding someone if he doesn\u2019t know. Why don\u2019t you send Joe to tell them not to come after you, because you\u2019ve got me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe held Adam\u2019s shoulders, looking deep into his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! I\u2019m not going to leave you here with them!\u201d Joe was shocked to hear Adam help them with their plan; he couldn\u2019t see what Adam was doing, only that his brother was suggesting that he should desert him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could keep him and send you.\u201d Finn wanted to see Adam\u2019s reaction to the idea, he wondered if the older man had some plan cooking.<\/p>\n

Adam eased himself up, until he was almost sitting, leaning against the wall beside the bed. His head was swimming, so he closed his eyes until the world righted itself.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you could, but he\u2019s in a better state to make the ride back.\u201d Adam looked at Joe, wondering what his brother\u2019s reaction would be to his next words. \u201cHe\u2019s also headstrong, hot-tempered, and likely to cause you a lot more trouble than I will. I can see that you have the upper hand, and won\u2019t do anything to antagonise you, I can\u2019t say the same for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stood and stared at Adam, his eyes blazing, he couldn\u2019t believe that his brother thought that he was that stupid. He turned to Finn.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you let my brother stay here then you\u2019re asking for trouble. He\u2019s clever and resourceful. He\u2019ll find a way to stop you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot when I\u2019m faced with three men who would kill me at the drop of a hat,\u201d Adam argued. Now was not the time to admit that hopefully, Joe might be right. Finn had a small grin on his face as he listened to these two try to argue each other out of trouble.<\/p>\n

Joe tried a different tack. \u201cAdam, you got a wife and kids to think about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I am thinking about them, that\u2019s why they can trust me to be no trouble, what sort of guarantee would they have with you?\u201d Adam smiled thinly at Joe, to take the sting out of his words. Then his smile broadened, trying to make Joe relax, to accept that his older brother was trying to get him away from these men and the danger they represented. \u201cBesides you have to go home and start cleaning my tack, remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe thought that Adam was taking it all too lightly; perhaps that bang on the head had affected him. \u201cAdam…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s enough,\u201d ordered Finn. Joe and Adam looked at him, both hoping that Finn would decide to send his brother away.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou.\u201d Finn said, pointing at Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled at Adam, thinking that Finn had decided to let his brother go.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can go and tell them that I got your brother, so they\u2019d better not come after us or he\u2019s a dead man. Tell them not to bother looking for us here, we\u2019ll be long gone before you could get back.\u201d
\nChapter Five<\/p>\n

Joe rode fast, back to the ranch house. He had taken a tearful farewell of Adam, hating himself for leaving, though in the face of Finn\u2019s threats against his hostage, Joe knew he had no choice. He had it in his mind that he might never see Adam alive again, remembering the look in Finn\u2019s eyes. Now, as he rode, he cursed his brother for persuading Finn to let him go. He knew why Adam had done it, and Joe loved him for it, but he would never forgive his brother if he got himself killed.<\/p>\n

Joe rode into the yard at a gallop, threw himself from his horse, and ran into the house. The sight that greeted him both startled and pleased him. The elderly Sheriff Coffee was sitting talking to Ben. Both men turned as Joe rushed in.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph! What is the meaning of this?\u201d Ben shouted, as Joe slid to a stop behind the sofa in the middle of the room. Ben thought that despite his age, Joe still often entered a room as though he was ten years old.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Roy, it’s Adam. They\u2019ve got him, they\u2019re gonna to kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee got to his feet, closely followed by Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019ya say, boy?\u201d asked Roy.<\/p>\n

Ben turned to Roy. \u201cYou don\u2019t think\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCould be.\u201d Roy turned back to Joe. \u201cWho\u2019s got him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree men, they said to tell you they\u2019d kill him if you went after them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, sit down a minute,\u201d his father ordered, and Joe reluctantly took a seat next to Roy on the sofa.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just been telling your Pa about the Virginia City Bank getting robbed yesterday. The teller was killed, and the three men who did it were headed this way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath to steady himself. If they had killed the bank clerk, they wouldn\u2019t hesitate to kill Adam, they had nothing to lose. \u201cWhat did they look like?\u201d he asked, afraid of the answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne dark, older. The other two both fair haired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s them. Pa, we gotta stop them. They already killed, so they won\u2019t care what happens to Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder, trying at the same time to reassure his son and get him to be quiet, so he could think.<\/p>\n

At that moment, Hoss appeared at the top of the stairs. As he made his way down slowly, he saw three anxious faces watching him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s all the ruckus?\u201d Hoss asked as he sat down in the armchair opposite Ben. Joe smiled thinly at him; he was pleased to see that his brother was recovering from his brush with starvation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam came to get me, but we got jumped by three men, they\u2019re holding Adam hostage so Roy won\u2019t follow them. Adam made me leave him, persuaded them to send me back to tell Roy.\u201d Joe shook his head, still not believing that he had just walked out, leaving his brother with those men. Ben saw the movement, and the look in the eyes of his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019m sure that Adam knew what he was doing. He\u2019ll be all right, he\u2019s sensible enough to keep on the right side of them. They won\u2019t hurt him while they need him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked unbelievingly at his father. \u201cYeah? Well they already have hurt him, they won\u2019t care what happens to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHurt him?\u201d repeated Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, they beat him senseless.\u201d Joe was driven by guilt to overstate the damage to his brother, but when he saw the worry on his father\u2019s face he backed off. \u201cBut he was awake and talking when I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned to Roy. \u201cWe gotta go after them, they\u2019ll kill him, I saw it in their eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow settle down Joe,\u201d said the Sheriff, he knew it would do more harm than good to go rushing out after the gang. They had to go about this carefully, with a plan in mind. He turned to Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling? Could you track them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, sure,\u201d said Hoss, eager to help.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we can keep them in sight, we may get an opportunity to help Adam,\u201d said Ben, anxious to find out what was happening to his eldest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gonna get a posse?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I think we\u2019ll be enough, don\u2019t want too many men out there, they might spot us,\u201d said Roy, and Ben nodded his agreement.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen let\u2019s go.\u201d Joe leaped to his feet.<\/p>\n

Roy and Ben looked at each other. There was no need to delay, the sooner they started the better.<\/p>\n

Ben stood. \u201cAll right, get some supplies from Hop Sing and then get yourselves ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss went to the kitchen as Joe ran upstairs to get a change of clothes. Meanwhile Ben arranged to send one of the men over to Adam\u2019s home to let Becky know what was happening. Ben was glad that Alice had gone to visit with Becky for the day, the young woman was strong, but she would need all the support she could get at the moment.<\/p>\n

In less than an hour, the four men were on their way.
\nAs Adam watched Joe leave, the knot in his stomach loosened itself a little. He had managed to get his brother to safety, now he only had himself to worry about. As he lay on the cot trying to think round the pain that spread from his head to his shoulders, he watched with interest an exchange between Cory and his younger brother, as they decided to have something to eat before they left.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe got time for breakfast, ain\u2019t we?\u201d Cory asked Finn, who was obviously the leader of the gang, judging by the way the other two deferred to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cory turned to Jess. \u201cGet some food on the go, quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy me?\u201d complained Jess, looking sullen.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I told you to, that\u2019s why.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jess muttered something under his breath, then said aloud, \u201cBut I always have to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cory went to stand in front of his brother and grabbed his shirtfront. \u201cThat\u2019s right, and you\u2019ll go on doing it until I tell you otherwise, got it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jess backed down. \u201cAll right, I was just saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell don\u2019t.\u201d Cory let go of Jess as he pushed him towards the small stove in one corner of the room.<\/p>\n

Jess made a quick meal of bacon and biscuits, then he brewed some coffee. The smell of the food reminded Adam that he was hungry, he had not eaten much supper because his headache had robbed him of his appetite. Now, despite the throbbing in his head, he wanted to eat. He looked across the room at Finn, a silent question in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Finn shook his head. \u201cNo, you ain\u2019t getting nothin\u2019 just yet, you gotta earn it. You behave and we\u2019ll see about some food later. Won\u2019t hurt you to go without for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam lay back on the cot, grudgingly admiring the man\u2019s tactics. If he didn\u2019t give them any trouble they would feed him, if not he would just get weaker as he starved. Either way they would have a submissive prisoner. Adam knew he was going to have to be careful with Finn, this was obviously an intelligent man who would not easily fall for any ploy that Adam might try.<\/p>\n

With breakfast finished, Cory sent Jess out to prepare the horses. As Jess went out, mumbling to himself, Cory gave him a long look, then glanced at Finn, who just shrugged. Finn crossed the room and stood looking down at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight now, we\u2019re leaving.\u201d Finn drew his gun. \u201cAny trouble and you\u2019re dead, got it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI understand well enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn put his hand under Adam\u2019s arm to help him to his feet. Adam swayed as the world turned grey for a moment, but he managed to remain upright. Finn stood back, motioning with the gun for Adam to precede him out of the door. He moved slowly into the yard in front of the cabin, where he saw Sport standing alongside the horses of the other men. Adam went and stood beside him and waited.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, mount up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t move. \u201cI think I\u2019m going to need some help,\u201d he said reasonably, showing them his bound hands. Cory came over, took Adam\u2019s arm roughly, and pushed him up into the saddle.<\/p>\n

The men mounted and moved off, with Finn leading, followed by Cory, who was holding Sport\u2019s reins, Jess bringing up the rear. They rode quietly through the forest, and soon they were on a track heading west. The woods around them were deserted, only the sound of the horse\u2019s hooves breaking the silence. As they descended the mountain the track widened, until the little shade that the trees had provided disappeared. The sun beating down on Adam\u2019s bare head soon had its effect, making him feel hot and thirsty, and he was having trouble focusing his eyes. He was struggling to stay upright, as his headache got worse.<\/p>\n

When he thought he might faint, he called to Cory. \u201cCan I have some water?\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn heard him, pulled his horse round, and rode back towards them. As he looked at Adam, considering his request, Finn could see that he was pale and about to pass out. That would slow them down, he thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you\u2019ve behaved yourself well enough.\u201d He eased his mount beside Sport, holding his canteen so that Adam could drink.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d Adam nodded, in recognition of the favour. Finn congratulated himself on his decision to keep the elder brother, it seemed that this one had the sense to realise that life would be easier for him if he cooperated. He rode up beside Cory.<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep an eye on him, don\u2019t want to lose him just yet.\u201d He turned to see Adam watching him so he added, \u201cDon\u2019t give him too much, he ain\u2019t earned it.\u201d Finn rode away laughing to himself.<\/p>\n

They were heading round the top of Lake Tahoe, away from the Ponderosa. Adam knew that there was plenty of cover and many places to camp unobserved in this part of the country, it would not be easy to stop the gang when they had such advantages. He wondered what his father\u2019s reaction had been to Joe\u2019s lone arrival, and the news of their encounter with the fugitives. Adam hoped that Ben had been able to get Joe to understand that he had done the only thing he could, in getting Finn to let his younger brother go. He knew that Joe was upset at having to leave, but Adam thought that at least someone would know what had happened to him.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s head was hurting, and he tried to picture Becky soothing away his pain, her hand brushing over his forehead and through his hair, her voice, soft and low, telling him that he would be all right, just relax, she would take care of him. For a while he was lost in his imaginings.<\/p>\n

They stopped a little after mid day for a short break, just enough time to rest and have a drink. Jess handed cups of freshly brewed coffee to Finn and Cory, then after speaking briefly to Finn, he came over to where Adam sat leaning against a tree, slightly apart from the other men. Jess had a cup in each hand as he sat down beside Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cFinn said you could have some,\u201d Jess said, holding one of the cups so that Adam could drink.<\/p>\n

Adam sipped the hot liquid. \u201cThanks.\u201d The strong coffee started to make him feel better, though he knew that it would do little for his thirst.<\/p>\n

He turned his head to look at Finn and Cory, sitting just out of earshot, then turned back to Jess.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing with them?\u201d he asked, indicating with a nod of his head the two men sitting talking quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019ya mean? Cory\u2019s my brother, where else would I be?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t treat you much like a brother should,\u201d Adam observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah well, he\u2019s older than me and knows best.\u201d Adam smiled, how he wished Joe believed that.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems to me like he just wants to be able to tell you what to do.\u201d Adam was pushing, hoping to find a weakness in the tight little group.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just his way, because I\u2019m younger than him, you know how it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t.\u201d Adam shook his head carefully. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t have to be like that. You saw my younger brother. Do you think that he would do something just because I told him to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I guess not.\u201d Jess looked at Adam, wondering. \u201cWhy did you want to send him away? Finn might have let you go, I know Cory thinks you\u2019re trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he? Well if I get my way, he\u2019ll be right.\u201d Adam glanced towards the two men by the fire, then turned his attention back to Jess. \u201cIt\u2019s because Joe is my younger brother that I had to get him away. As the eldest, it\u2019s my duty to protect my brothers from harm, and I will always do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven if it means gettin\u2019 killed?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded slowly. \u201cBut I know that if the positions were reversed, they would do the same for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many brothers you got?\u201d Jess wanted to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jess thought back, reviewing the short conversation. He had not realised that he could have any other relationship with Cory but the one they had. Would Cory give his life for him? Jess shook his head sadly, he knew the answer was \u2018no\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come you feel that way?\u201d Jess couldn\u2019t quite believe it.<\/p>\n

Adam considered his answer for a minute before replying.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I suppose that is my father\u2019s doing. It\u2019s the way we\u2019ve been raised, to love and respect each other, to value what each of us means to the others.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t remember my Pa, he was killed before I was born, and my Ma died four years ago.\u201d Jess said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, every boy should know his father.\u201d Adam paused, looking at a very bewildered young man, who had been given an insight into a different kind of life. \u201cWhy is the law after you?\u201d Adam wanted to know how desperate Roy might be to find these men.<\/p>\n

Jess was surprised by the change of subject. \u201cWe robbed the Virginia City Bank yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyone get hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCory shot the cashier, I don\u2019t know if he was killed, we didn\u2019t stop to find out.\u201d Jess\u2019 eyes were downcast as he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t seem too happy about it,\u201d Adam observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want nobody hurt,\u201d Jess shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you point guns at people you must expect to use them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want to do it in the first place.\u201d said Jess, a note of anger in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCory made me. Said I had to do it or he\u2019d leave me to fend for myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought that Jess looked too young to be on his own. \u201cHow old are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeventeen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jess held the cup for Adam to drain the last of the coffee. As he did so, Adam looked at him, considering this young man and his vulnerability. Jess was afraid of what he might see in the older man\u2019s eyes, so he turned away, sitting with his back to Adam, avoiding his scrutiny.<\/p>\n

Adam spoke quietly and persuasively. \u201cJess, if you help me to get out of this, I can help you. I can make sure that the law goes easy on you. I\u2019ll put in a good word for you, let them know that you helped me, that your brother forced you into robbing the bank. You could get off\u2026aargh!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jess turned round as he heard the exclamation, and saw Finn standing over Adam, where he had fallen sideways onto the ground. Finn drew his foot back ready to administer another kick.<\/p>\n

\u201cFinn, don\u2019t please,\u201d Jess begged him, but Finn took no notice. His boot connected with Adam\u2019s ribcage.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s vision faded for a few seconds, but he was aware of Finn kneeling beside him, and a hand gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him up again to sit against the tree. He felt a gun pressing into his throat.<\/p>\n

Finn looked murderous, and he spaced his words deliberately as he shook Adam roughly. \u201cYou will keep your mouth shut, you got it? Do you understand? Answer me!\u201d Finn shouted, shaking Adam again.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded as his eyes came back into focus. He knew that Finn was very close to killing him, and he nodded again.<\/p>\n

Adam was fighting to get his breathing under control, until finally he managed to speak. \u201cBut I had to try, you\u2019d expect that.\u201d Adam tried to keep his voice light, to relieve the man\u2019s tension, which seemed to work as Finn let go of him, and smiled. Adam smiled in return, it seemed as though these two understood each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess I did at that, and you\u2019d expect me to stop you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked up, and nodded slowly, Finn was right, they had both acted predictably. As Adam looked at Jess, he saw something in the boy\u2019s eyes that told him he had lit a spark there. It was possible that the young man might still help him.<\/p>\n

Finn called for them to mount up, and with help from Cory and Jess, Adam managed to get into the saddle. He moaned as he sat up straight.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d Finn asked, looking at Adam anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have kicked me so hard,\u201d Adam observed, taking short breaths. \u201cI think you may have broken a couple of ribs.\u201d Adam knew this was not the case, but it wouldn\u2019t hurt for Finn to believe he was more injured than he really was.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah? That\u2019s too bad.\u201d Finn turned away, apparently not caring to hear about Adam\u2019s troubles, but it had him worried. If Cartwright was hurt, it could slow them down. The only other thing to do was to kill him, but then they would have no protection from the law. Finn decided to wait and see what happened.<\/p>\n

It was late afternoon when they stopped again; it appeared that Finn was in no hurry to get wherever he was going. Adam did not know whether Finn knew this country, or had perhaps scouted it out before the robbery, but he knew exactly where the best places were to shelter. They were hidden in amongst some large rocks, surrounded by trees, only yards from a small stream.<\/p>\n

With help from Jess, Adam dismounted, straightening up slowly when his feet hit the dirt. Cory took no notice of Adam\u2019s discomfort, but pushed him towards one of the trees growing amongst the rocks. He told Jess to cover their prisoner while he untied Adam\u2019s hands. As the rope came free, Adam groaned and eased his shoulders, his muscles protesting at the unaccustomed movement. Cory told him to sit down in front of the tree, then he pulled Adam\u2019s hands round the trunk and retied the ropes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t want you wandering off in the middle of the night, do we?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked up into the hard, blue eyes, not bothering to reply. He watched as the men set about making camp, and preparing supper, Jess again doing the cooking. Before Finn settled down to eat, he approached Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Cartwright, I don\u2019t want you to suffer any more than you have to, but I cain\u2019t let you eat if you cain\u2019t behave, you know that, don\u2019t you?\u201d Finn crouched down in front of Adam and looked at him. He had a sneaking admiration for his prisoner, who had let himself get into this predicament so that his brother might go free. Adam looked straight into his eyes, neither defiant nor afraid, just accepting of the situation.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK Finn, you win.\u201d Adam was taking short breaths. His bruised ribs had started protesting as a result of getting down from Sport and being tied as he was. \u201cYou must have known that I would have to try something, and I can\u2019t promise you that I won\u2019t try again if the opportunity arises.\u201d He had the feeling the Finn wasn\u2019t going to feed him, whether he behaved or not.<\/p>\n

Finn thought about it, then nodded. \u201cOK, how about we call a truce for tonight? You can have as much coffee as you like, but no food. That\u2019s as far as I\u2019m prepared to go. I guess you think that tomorrow we start even.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s head and body ached, and he knew that they were far from even, but he wasn\u2019t going to admit it.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, let\u2019s see what tomorrow brings,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Finn nodded, went back to the fire, and waited for Jess to finish preparing supper.<\/p>\n

They sat off to one side as they ate, and when they had finished, Jess brought some coffee over to Adam, where he sat too far away from the heat of the fire to feel its warmth.<\/p>\n

\u201cFinn said you could have some, but if he hears you speak he\u2019ll kill you.\u201d Jess looked intently at Adam. \u201cHe means it mister, don\u2019t push him any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, keeping silent. The lack of food and sparse water rations were already having an effect, and he didn\u2019t want to give Finn any excuse to damage him further. He needed to get on the right side of the man as quickly as possible, if he was not to become incapable of taking any action to save himself. He saw Finn watching him and returned the look without flinching. The two men had a grudging respect for each other, which Adam hoped might stop Finn from killing him out of hand if it came to a fight.<\/p>\n

As Jess leant close, holding the cup for him to drink, Adam whispered, \u201cBlanket?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jess pulled back, startled to hear the voice, but slowly nodded as he put the cup down. He fetched Sport\u2019s saddle blanket, and got a small smile of acknowledgement as he returned to put it round Adam\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

Cory, who had been watching Jess, approached him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d Cory asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t want him freezing, do we, ain\u2019t no good to us dead,\u201d Jess said reasonably. Cory just looked at him and turned away, as Jess knelt down in front of Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want more coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, the more contact he had with this youth, the better were his chances of getting out of this alive.<\/p>\n

Gradually, as the camp settled down, Adam felt his head sinking onto his chest. He was wondering what tomorrow would bring, when he fell asleep.
\nChapter Six<\/p>\n

Earlier that afternoon Ben, Roy, Joe, and Hoss were approaching the line shack. They pulled up among the trees, and sat for a minute observing the building and surrounding yard, but the place looked deserted. When Ben indicated that Hoss should go and have a look around, the big man pressed his horse forward. Hoss was an expert tracker, and they did not want to disturb any signs the men might have left behind, so they watched as Hoss scouted round the area in front of the cabin, They saw him start off into the woods on the far side of the yard. He halted among the trees, then came riding back.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I c\u2019n see tracks on the other side of the cabin. Four horses, not goin\u2019 too fast by the look o\u2019 things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s jaw tightened, he knew his brother, the same brother that he had deserted, was riding one of the horses. He turned to his father. \u201cWell, what are we doing sitting here? Let\u2019s go after them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded, as he searched again for the trail left by the gang. Ben had started to follow toward the trees, when he pulled up sharply and turned his horse\u2019s head towards the side of the cabin. He dismounted, slowly crouching down over something on the ground. As he rose, Hoss and Joe, who had ridden up behind him, saw that it was a dust covered black hat. Ben held it close to his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s,\u201d stated Hoss.<\/p>\n

Ben simply nodded. He folded it up and put it safely in his saddlebags, waiting for the time when he could return it to his eldest son. Ben refused to think that he would not have the opportunity to do so. He remounted to follow where Hoss led, into the woods and after a few hundred yards, out onto a clear track, where the trail was easy to follow. Hoss picked up the pace, hoping to catch up with the gang.<\/p>\n

When it became too dark to see the trail clearly, Roy insisted that they stop. Joe was about to protest, but when he looked around he could see the sense in waiting for the morning, and daylight. The four men settled down quickly, anxious to make an early start as soon as it was light.<\/p>\n

Half an hour after sunrise they were on their way again. Hoss leading, the others following at a short distance. Hoss had no trouble following the gang, they had apparently gone along the track leading down from the mountains, to the west side of the lake. The small posse had been on the move for only a few minutes when Hoss held up his hand to call a halt. He dismounted and crouched down to examine the ground, then rose and walked a little way off the trail, among the rocks. He returned after a few minutes, coming to stand beside his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like they stopped here for a while, there\u2019s a fire been lit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked back at the ground, where he saw the tracks leading away. He pointed along the trail. \u201cThey kept goin\u2019, that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss remounted, and again led the men after their quarry.
\nFinn had turned west and was leading them slowly towards French Meadows. They were climbing steadily into the mountains when Adam thought that he heard a horse neigh far behind them. He noticed Sport flick his ears back, as though he had also heard the sound. Adam was becoming concerned about Sport, who was showing signs of fatigue, and he wished that he could let the old horse rest for a few hours, but he did not have that luxury. As he watched, he again saw Sport\u2019s ears move and strained his own to catch any sound. Adam looked at Finn and Cory, who were deep in conversation in front of him. It seemed that they were arguing about the best way to go to get to their destination. He took a careful glance round to look at Jess, who appeared to be taking little notice of what was happening around him.<\/p>\n

Adam was desperately trying to think of a way to slow them down, so that whoever was behind them might be able to catch up. It could be Roy with a posse, and if Adam could make Finn stop somewhere that he had not planned, it might give Roy enough of an advantage that he could capture the gang.<\/p>\n

Adam made a decision. If he fell from his horse, it would mean that they would have to stop, at least for a few minutes while they got him remounted, maybe for longer if he could make it difficult enough for them. He studied the ground, thinking that the grass at the side of the trail looked soft enough, he just had to choose his spot carefully. He decided that he should land on his back, since landing face down held the possibility of breaking his ribs, and if he did that, he would not be able to make his escape. No, by landing on his back, he would have the use of his hands to break his fall, and even if he broke his arm or shoulder, he would still be able to run, if the opportunity presented itself.<\/p>\n

As he spotted what looked like a large patch of thick grass, Adam again heard the sound of a horse in the distance. This time Cory also heard it and spoke to Finn, who nodded as he kicked his horse into a canter. Adam could see that Cory was about to do the same, and he knew he had to take some action. He groaned realistically as he collapsed sideways out of the saddle, landing on his back on the ground, groaning louder and even more realistically as he felt a searing pain shoot up his arm.<\/p>\n

Cory hurriedly dismounted, calling to Finn to wait. Finn turned back and leaped from his horse, coming to stand looking over Cory\u2019s shoulder at Adam, as he lay on the ground. He grabbed hold of the front of Adam\u2019s shirt, pulling him upright, and Adam groaned as he made it to his feet. He staggered against Cory, to let him know how weak his prisoner was. He didn\u2019t have to pretend too much, he felt his whole body trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet him back on his horse,\u201d ordered Finn. But Adam wasn\u2019t about to help them, and he pretended to faint, collapsing to the ground. Cory cursed and Finn swore; this was the last thing they needed. Jess just sat on his horse, laughing quietly to himself, Finn was always in control of any situation, but now it seemed he was at a loss to know what to do. Should he leave Cartwright where he was, or kill him, or try to take him along with them? Jess reckoned they should leave him and get away, but no one was going to ask him for his opinion and he didn\u2019t offer it.<\/p>\n

Cory turned angrily to Finn. \u201cI told you to give him some food, but you wouldn\u2019t listen would you? You were determined to show him who was boss, that he couldn\u2019t outsmart you. Well now you\u2019ve done it for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn just glared at Cory and then down at Adam, as he lay at their feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess he just weren\u2019t as strong as I figured,\u201d said Finn trying to defend his actions, then he and Cory each hooked a hand under Adam\u2019s arms, and dragged him across the hard ground to a collection of small boulders among the scattered trees off to one side of the trail, where they could find some shelter. Adam gritted his teeth and held his breath, the pain was excruciating as they pulled on his arms, making the ropes tighten round what he guessed was a broken wrist. As they dropped him on the ground, Adam couldn\u2019t prevent a moan escaping his lips as he landed.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes were half open as they met Finn\u2019s, which were looking down on him. Without saying anything Finn brought back his foot and kicked Adam\u2019s side, between his ribs and his hip. Adam grunted but the kick held no real force, Finn was just making a point, not wanting to do any damage.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn you,\u201d said Finn as he turned away, going to stand beside Cory, looking out over the boulders at the road they had just travelled.<\/p>\n

Adam eased himself up to sit against a rock, his breath coming in short gasps, reflecting the pain he felt. He took stock of his condition, the cuts and bruises on his head were still throbbing, his shoulders were still stiff, his ribs were bruised but not broken, but he had apparently broken his wrist when he fell. He was also thirsty, very hungry, and trembling most of the time. All in all he felt terrible, but knew that if he had to, he could make a run for it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do we do now, Finn?\u201d asked Cory.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe might as well stop here for a while, have something to eat and then ride through the afternoon. We should be there by dark.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if there\u2019s somebody following us?<\/p>\n

Finn looked round at Adam. \u201cThey won\u2019t stop us while we got him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, let\u2019s hope you\u2019re right.\u201d Cory went in search of Jess, who was about to tie the horses among the trees.<\/p>\n

\u201cFinn says to stop here for some food, get going,\u201d Cory ordered. Jess shrugged his shoulders, and went to start a fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold it,\u201d ordered Hoss, raising his head as he pulled up. They could hear him sniffing. \u201cSmell that?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

The other three sampled the air and nodded. Smoke.<\/p>\n

They all dismounted and edged slowly forward, until they could hear muffled voices. When Roy ordered them to stop, they gathered behind a small heap of boulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe may have found them. Joe, can you go up this hill a ways, so you can get a look down on them?\u201d asked Roy and Joe nodded. He went carefully, keeping his eyes on the rocks where he felt the men might be hiding. As he reached the top of the hill, he saw them to the left, below his position. His expression hardened as he spotted his brother sitting against a rock, his head was down as though he was asleep, and Jess was sitting near him. Joe could not see Finn or Cory, but assumed they were there as four horses stood nearby. He made a note of a few landmarks to get his bearings, then started back down the hill. Before he reached the safety of the boulders behind which the others were sheltering a shot rang out, splintering wood off a tree trunk beside his head. Joe ducked and covered the last few yards at a dead run, finally throwing himself at his father\u2019s feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe found them,\u201d Joe said unnecessarily, lying on his back, looking up at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff, you hear me?\u201d shouted a voice from the rocks. \u201cYou know we got Cartwright here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy turned towards the voice and shouted back. \u201cYeah, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll kill \u2018im if you try to stop us. We\u2019re already wanted for murder, so one more won\u2019t make no difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked anxiously at the sheriff. \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d He was subconsciously letting Roy make the decision that might cost his son his life.<\/p>\n

Roy sat down and put his hand on Ben\u2019s arm. \u201cBen, believe me they won\u2019t do anything to Adam. A dead hostage is of no use to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s hope they think that way,\u201d said Ben, praying that Roy was right.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s head jerked up as he heard the shot. Finn was crouched down behind a small boulder taking aim up the hill, apparently at someone behind similar sized rocks about fifty yards away. Adam heard Finn\u2019s threats shouted to whoever he was shooting at, and when he heard the reply, he knew that it was Roy, hopefully with a posse.<\/p>\n

Adam looked round the tumble of rocks and sparse trees in which Finn had taken shelter. Apart from the rocks, there was little cover, it would be impossible for anyone to approach them stealthily. Adam noticed that Finn and Cory were occupied facing the threat from the sheriff. Jess was sitting on the ground behind another rock, holding his gun uncertainly, as though not sure what to do with it, seeming reluctant to use it. Cory looked round at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cJess, you keep an eye on him,\u201d he said, pointing his gun in Adam\u2019s direction. Then he moved closer and grabbed hold of the front of Jess\u2019 shirt, pulling his face close. \u201cDon\u2019t let him get away or I\u2019ll kill you,\u201d Cory stated with chilling certainty.<\/p>\n

Jess nodded, watched as Cory returned to Finn\u2019s side, and then he looked over at Adam, his gun loosely pointed in the direction of their prisoner.<\/p>\n

Behind their shelter of rocks, Ben was arguing with Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, I\u2019m sure that I can make it,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will not risk two of my sons, never.\u201d Ben was just as firm.<\/p>\n

Joe quieted his voice and spoke slowly. \u201cThen you would risk Adam\u2019s life just to save mine? I won\u2019t let you do that. How many times has Adam put his life on the line for me, would you deny me the chance to do the same for him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I can\u2019t lose you as well.\u201d Ben shook his head; he refused to contemplate losing two sons at the same time.<\/p>\n

Joe was astounded by his father\u2019s words. \u201cAs well! Then you admit that Adam is gonna get killed unless we do something about it.\u201d Joe backed away from his father, he almost felt hatred for the man who had admitted that he would stand by and see one son die in preference to another. Joe knew that he would not let that happen, he was going to do anything he could for his brother, who had put himself at risk so that Joe could be safe. He turned away and started up the hill.<\/p>\n

Ben moved to go after him, but Hoss put a hand on his arm to stop him.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet him go, he needs to try it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stopped struggling against his middle son\u2019s strength, and sat wearily on the ground. \u201cYes, I know.\u201d He put his head in his hands, trying not to think of what might be going to happen, he didn\u2019t know how he would deal with it.<\/p>\n

Joe was planning to approach the gang\u2019s shelter from the far side. There was very little cover, but the men were occupied with what was happening in front of them, and Joe hoped that they might be careless enough not to guard their backs.<\/p>\n

Adam had been studying the lie of the land at the rear of their refuge, and he thought that if he could make a run for it he might get as far as the shelter of some larger trees. That would be far enough, as Finn and Cory could not come after him without exposing themselves to the guns of the posse.<\/p>\n

Adam noted that Jess had his head down, as though he did not want to be part of what was happening, so he started to ease towards a gap in the rocks that would allow him to take off. When he saw Jess\u2019 head come up he stopped, but was surprised when the young man jerked his head towards the rear of the camp. Adam paused, then nodded, and moved more quickly round the rock. As soon as he thought it was safe, he struggled to his feet and ran.<\/p>\n

His legs threatened to give way as soon as he started to run. The trees seemed very distant, but fear of discovery gave him strength, and he managed to stay on his feet. Suddenly he saw Joe burst from behind the trees, and Adam wanted to shout a warning to him, but no sound came, he was using all his breath for running. He heard gunfire, and as Joe fell backwards Adam could see the telltale stain on his brother\u2019s shirtfront. Joe had been shot. Adam stopped running, looking in horror at the limp body on the ground before him, then he turned back towards the rocks he had just left. He saw Finn and Cory both standing, aiming straight at him. He knew that he should try to get out of the way, but the sight of his brother lying on the ground filled his mind, and he did not move. Adam was conscious of a pounding in his head, then he saw Finn and Cory fire, and felt a searing pain in his back and his thigh.<\/p>\n

He felt as though he was floating, hanging in the air, only to come crashing down to the ground a second later. He lay there unable to move, as far as he knew he had no body to move. He was lying on his back looking up at the sky through the dark green pine needles and rough brown branches. He saw white clouds above him and thought that he might reach out to touch them, forgetting for the moment that his hands were tied, but his brain could not command his muscles to move. A tear crept down the side of his face to settle in his hair, he wanted the clouds, he wanted the peace they promised him. Adam didn\u2019t know how he could continue to live if Joe had tried to save him, and had paid with his life.<\/p>\n

Faces that he recognised as his father and Roy, appeared in the small circle that was Adam\u2019s vision.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he whispered. \u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d He saw his pain reflected in his father\u2019s eyes, and escaped it the only way he could, in oblivion.
\nChapter Seven<\/p>\n

Adam realised that he was awake only when he heard muffled voices. As always, hearing was the first sense to return, but he could not have said when it had done so. He did not understand what they were saying, but the fact that he could hear them meant that he was conscious.<\/p>\n

He stopped trying to listen, exploring his body instead. He had a headache and for a moment he concentrated on it, but then tried to place the other pains that he felt. His mind drifted slowly down his body stopping at the back of his right shoulder, which seemed to hurt a little. As he tried moving it, the agonising pain that the action caused made him cry out. He felt someone take hold of his hand, but lacked the strength to open his eyes to see who was there. He felt them wipe a cooling cloth over his forehead, and was grateful for their presence.<\/p>\n

He remained still, until the pain in his shoulder eventually faded into a dull ache that throbbed in time with the beating of his heart. His mind wandered further, encountering a pain in his left wrist. He tried to move his hand but something held it firmly, so that he couldn\u2019t do more than flex his fingers. He became aware of a pain in his leg and he let his mind travel down to assess what threat it might be. It was a sharp burning pain, but like the other injuries, he felt that if he did not move he would be able to manage it. Finally, he turned his mind outwards to the room.<\/p>\n

He realised that he was lying on a bed, it was soft beneath him, and he felt warm. He saw, through eyes that he forced open slightly, that he was in his old room at the Ponderosa. The light in the room was subdued, it was either early morning or late afternoon, but he had no way of telling which it might be. He allowed his eyes to sweep the room without turning his head. He recognised the two men who stood beside his bed, his father and Doctor Paul Martin.<\/p>\n

They were talking quietly together, not realising that Adam could hear them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you tell him?\u201d asked Paul.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot until he\u2019s stronger. It\u2019s going to be a shock for him, as it was to all of us.\u201d Ben shook his head sadly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe gave his life to save Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI know, and Adam\u2019ll never forgive himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam held his breath, what were they saying? Who had died? As the scene in the forest came rushing back at him, he realised that it could only be Joe! Adam remembered vividly the image of his brother dropping to the ground. He pictured Finn and Cory aiming at himself, then he recalled the shots and the pain as they hit him, but for a moment he could not understand why, if he was facing them as they fired, he should have felt the bullet hit his shoulder from behind. Adam put that tantalising mystery at the back of his mind, knowing that he would find a solution later.<\/p>\n

Adam could remember little after that, only snatches of a difficult journey back to the Ponderosa. What had happened to Finn and Cory, and Jess? If the older men had survived, Adam swore to himself that they would pay for what they had done to Joe. They would know what terror was when Adam went after them. Wherever they were they would not be safe from his anger and bitterness, he would be an avenging angel visiting his own brand of retribution on them, and they would wish they were dead long before he gave them that release.<\/p>\n

When Adam again felt the soothing cloth on his forehead, he turned his head slowly and saw his father smiling at him. How could he smile, knowing that Joe was dead? Of course, thought Adam, his love for all his sons would not let Ben show him how upset he was, knowing how Adam must be hurting. Adam held out his hand, gritting his teeth against the pain in his shoulder. Ben took his hand and held it, as Adam squeezed it as tight as he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he whispered. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d It was all he could say, he was sorry for getting into this mess in the first place, sorry for getting Joe killed, sorry for living in his stead, and sorry that his father had to live through it. He wanted to say so much more but couldn\u2019t find the strength.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you have nothing to be sorry about.\u201d Ben ran his hand over Adam\u2019s forehead, and he used a cloth to bathe away the dampness he felt there.<\/p>\n

Adam felt an overwhelming love for this man, who was trying to take away his guilt.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026\u201d Adam wasn\u2019t sure how to comfort his father; he hadn\u2019t the strength for many words.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe can\u2019t come right now, you just rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly Adam was angry with his father. Why did he have to treat him like a child? Why couldn\u2019t he say straight out that Joe couldn\u2019t come, because he was dead, didn\u2019t he realise that Adam knew what had happened? He\u2019d seen it with his own eyes<\/p>\n

Adam tried to raise himself off the bed, to tell his father that he didn\u2019t want soothing words, he wanted honesty. As he put pressure on his right arm, he felt as though a spear had been driven through his shoulder blade, and he cried out and lapsed into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

When Adam next woke it was dark outside, soft lamplight fell on the bed, but left most of the room in shadow. He didn\u2019t bother to move his head, but as his eyes examined the part of the room he could see, he thought that he was alone. As the images from his memory filled his mind, he cried out in anger at the unjust God who had allowed him to survive, but had taken his brother instead.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d he moaned softly, then as his rage took hold of his thoughts, he raised his voice to get the attention of the Gods who had deserted him, \u201cWhat evil have I done to deserve this?!\u201d He didn\u2019t know at that moment if he had the courage to go on living, knowing that his life had been purchased with such precious currency<\/p>\n

His head tossed back and forth on the pillows, causing sharp pains to run through his shoulder and into his chest, until his whole body tensed with the agony. He fought against the tightness that was claiming his breathing, but his mind would not allow him to rest. Suddenly he was startled as he felt a hand on his forehead, and he tried to raise his head from the bed to see who was with him. As he caught sight of Becky, he tried to speak to her, but the agony intensified so that he couldn\u2019t talk, and again blackness crept over him, snatching him back away from the pain.<\/p>\n

Becky looked behind her, at her father-in-law.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, what did he mean?\u201d said Becky, remembering Adam\u2019s shouted words.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea, but I don\u2019t think you need to worry too much what he says at the moment. Wait until he is more lucid and then, if you need to, you can ask him to explain.\u201d Becky looked round as Ben put his hand on her shoulder to reassure her. She covered his hand with hers. \u201cOf course, thank you. I just want him to get better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, and he will, it will just take a little while. He\u2019s getting stronger all the time.\u201d Ben reminded her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t know, does he, about\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I haven\u2019t had a chance to tell him. I thought it best to wait a while, he\u2019s going to be very upset, and he doesn\u2019t need that right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky nodded in agreement, as Ben made his way to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go and see to the children, you stay here.\u201d Becky smiled her thanks and turned back to the motionless figure of her husband.<\/p>\n

Becky\u2019s head was dropping with sleep when her brother-in-law put his hand on her shoulder, then went to sit in the chair on the other side of the bed. \u201cYou should get some decent sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky smiled. \u201cI will, soon.\u201d She drew her breath in sharply as she looked towards Adam. He was lying looking at her.<\/p>\n

As Adam came back to consciousness, his mind fashioned images of Heaven, thinking that Joe would find his mother there, and Adam took comfort in that small blessing. When he opened his unfocused eyes, he thought that he was looking at the face of an angel. Then as he turned his head, his vision sharpened and he recognised Joe sitting beside him. Adam knew then that he must have died as well, and joined Joe in whatever afterlife had claimed him. He was vaguely surprised, he hadn\u2019t realised that he was that badly injured. He spared a thought for his father who had now been deprived of two sons, how would he cope with that shattering loss?<\/p>\n

Adam tried to raise his head, but as he did so, he again felt the pain in his back and chest. His mind screamed, surely if this was Heaven there should be no pain, then was this Hell? He looked again at the faces on either side of him, and knew that such beauty would not be tolerated in the realms of Darkness. No, something was very wrong.<\/p>\n

Joe saw the puzzled look that came over his brother\u2019s face. \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment, Ben came to stand behind Becky at the side of the bed. Adam became even more bewildered, had his father died as well, had an epidemic struck his family? Adam realised that he was fully awake, and his logical mind started to analyse the problem. Two people, whom he knew now as his wife and father, were beside him and appeared to be alive, as they should. He felt pain, so therefore he was not dead. The logical conclusion was that the figure he saw beside the bed was in fact his brother, very much alive. His mind reeled in shock as he reached out, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. Joe held the hand that moved towards him on the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Adam, how\u2019re you feeling?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026?\u201d Adam whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it\u2019s me.\u201d Joe said a little puzzled. Adam\u2019s mouth worked but no sound came so Joe poured him a glass of water and tried to get his brother to drink, but Adam groaned as he moved, he could not raise his head.<\/p>\n

Ben leaned towards him so that Adam could see him as he spoke. \u201cAdam, I\u2019m going to put some pillows behind you so you can sit up a bit. You need to drink, and to eat something. It\u2019s going to hurt but we\u2019ll be as quick as we can, all right?\u201d Adam nodded, so Ben and Joe supported him while Becky shifted the pillows. Adam cried out and gritted his teeth, but smiled gratefully at them when they settled him back in a more comfortable position. Having managed to drink some water, he turned to Joe, whose right arm was supported by a sling.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought\u2026I saw you\u2026why aren\u2019t you dead?\u201d asked Adam quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat!\u201d exclaimed Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard Pa and Paul, they said you\u2019d died.\u201d Adam shook his head slowly, he clearly remembered the whispered words.<\/p>\n

Ben came closer to the bed, looking down into Adam\u2019s eyes. \u201cSon, we never said that, you must have been dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam spoke slowly as he recalled the words he had heard. \u201cNo, I was awake. Paul said, \u2018he gave his life to save Adam\u2019, I heard him, and then you told me that Joe couldn\u2019t come here.\u201d Adam wouldn\u2019t believe that he had been dreaming, it had been too real, and he was afraid that if that was a dream then so might this be.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no,\u201d said Ben, realising what had happened. He sat on the bed as he took Adam\u2019s hand. \u201cSon, we weren\u2019t talking about Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s mind gradually registered that his father hadn\u2019t denied saying it, only that he hadn\u2019t said it about Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen who\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben hung his head. \u201cAdam, son, I\u2019m sorry. It was Sport.\u201d<\/p>\n

“No!\u201d exclaimed Adam. He shut his eyes, he didn\u2019t understand what had happened, and needed his father to explain it to him. He turned his eyes to Ben. \u201cTell me, all of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s not much to tell. Joe decided to approach the gang\u2019s shelter from the rear, then you were running towards him and he tried to cover your escape, but he took a bullet in the shoulder. You stopped and turned back, I don\u2019t know what you were going to do, but Finn and Cory had the drop on you, you would have been killed. Then Sport appeared from among the trees at a full gallop, and knocked you out of the way as Finn and Cory fired. One of the shots caught you in the leg, the other hit Sport, but he kept going. He trampled Cory before Finn shot him again, and killed him. When he hit you he must have broken your shoulder blade, but he saved your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was shocked into silence, and turned his face away from his father, as the lump in his throat threatened to choke him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you all\u2026 just leave me alone for a minute.\u201d His voice was tight and low as he tried to control himself. They all stood, reluctantly doing as he requested. Once he was alone, Adam let the tears fall.<\/p>\n

Sport had been Adam\u2019s faithful mount ever since his father had given him the horse, when he graduated from college. They had been through so much together, a partnership of nearly twenty years, years of trust and companionship. Adam was not as outwardly affectionate to his horse as Joe was to Cochise, but he did love him, though it had never occurred to him that the horse might feel the same. And yet, he had given his life to save Adam\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Adam felt the tears flow down his cheeks as he relived in his memory times they had shared, some good, some bad, but always together. Adam\u2019s tears burned as he thought of Sport\u2019s last days, being dragged behind Cory, getting more and more tired as they went on. But still he had charged down the guns that were aimed at his master. Adam wondered what it was that would drive an animal to do such a thing, and then realised that it was the same emotion that drove a human. Love.
\nChapter Eight<\/p>\n

Three weeks later, Adam rode Fiddler out to Lake Tahoe. He had been back at work doing the Ponderosa bookkeeping for several days, but this morning he had decided that he would take some time off. His right arm was in a sling to give his shoulder some measure of rest, which sitting writing did not allow, and his left wrist was heavily bandaged. He knew he should not be out riding, but he needed to get away, to find the solitude that would let him sort out the thoughts that had been troubling him.<\/p>\n

The day was warm and bright, the slight chill in the air that had greeted the fall dawn had gone as the temperature rose with the sun. Adam took his time getting to the lake, remembering days when he had ridden there on Sport. If he shut his eyes, he could imagine that he was again on the tall sorrel, because Fiddler was very like his old companion, which was probably why Adam liked him.<\/p>\n

He pulled up as he approached the lake, tied Fiddler to a fallen tree trunk where he would have grass to graze, then slowly made his way down onto the shore, where a sandy beach stretched away on both sides. The soft sand made it difficult to walk smoothly and had started his leg hurting, so he sat down on the long grass under the trees at the edge of the beach. He stared across the lake at the mountains and forest on the west side, thinking that somewhere over there was where Sport had died. Adam was glad that the horse had not been left prey to predators, but had been given a fitting end. Hoss and Ben had built a pyre for him before returning home.<\/p>\n

Adam had many thoughts going through his head as he sat there. He had been given his brother back and he was grateful for that, but he felt guilty about his reaction to discovering that Sport had died instead. He remembered thinking that if Joe had died he would make Finn and Cory pay for killing him, regardless of the consequences to himself of such a lawless act. But would he take the same action to avenge Sport? Fortunately, perhaps, that would not be tested as Sport had killed Cory, and Roy had shot Finn, only Jess surviving the carnage, and soon to stand trial. But Adam knew that the answer was \u2018no\u2019, yet the horse had made the same sacrifice, in giving his life for his master. Adam reasoned that Sport was an animal not a person, and could not command the same depth of loyalty as his family. But the horse had given his life to save the man who had ridden him for twenty years, surely he was entitled to some measure of retribution, but Adam knew it wasn\u2019t possible. It would be a long time before he could rationalise his feelings about the situation.<\/p>\n

Ever since he had started to recover from his injuries, Adam had been considering what he should do with the life that had been given back to him. It became the same dilemma that he had had before he was abducted, he felt there should be more to his life, though now it was because he wanted to justify his survival. But he hadn\u2019t been able to think of what he wanted before all this happened, and it was no easier now. Suddenly he stood and stared at the water gently lapping against the shore, as his mind ran over the events of those days. He had an idea forming, and needed to get home to talk to his family about it. He almost ran to Fiddler, arriving back at home before his plan had taken its final form in his mind.<\/p>\n

He limped quickly into the house calling to his wife. \u201cBecky, Becky, where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky appeared at the top of the stairs. \u201cWhat is it, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing. Get the children ready, we\u2019re going to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will do no such thing. I\u2019ve just got them settled, Alice is asleep and Josh and Elizabeth are not for from it,\u201d Becky protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d Adam hadn\u2019t realised how late it was.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t it wait until tomorrow?\u201d Must we go now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I suppose we don\u2019t have to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky could see that he was disappointed, but she refused to disturb the children without an explanation. \u201cWhy do you want to go in such a rush?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter. It may be better to wait until tomorrow anyway, give me a chance to think.\u201d Adam turned away, already lost in his thoughts.<\/p>\n

As Becky prepared supper, Adam discarded the sling, going to sit at his desk in the study, writing copious notes and calculations. When Becky called him to the table, she could see that as he ate, his mind was elsewhere, and as soon as he had finished eating, Adam went back to his work. After she had cleared the supper dishes, Becky came up behind her husband, gently putting her arms round his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should be resting, you know. You\u2019ve ridden a long way today and not given your shoulder a chance to recover, sitting writing like this.\u201d Adam turned towards her, she was right his shoulder and leg both ached, but he had been too engrossed in his plans to notice. He rose and drew her with him, towards the sofa in the parlour.<\/p>\n

Becky sat close to Adam. \u201cDo you want to tell me what is on your mind?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I guess it might help to get the idea clear in my head.\u201d As he settled back on the sofa, he pulled Becky across his lap, so that she was lying in the crook of his left arm, looking up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you remember me telling you about Jess?\u201d Becky nodded, so Adam continued. \u201cWell, I was thinking about him today, how he had only got involved in robbing the bank in the first place because Cory made him do it. Cory had been dictating his life ever since their mother died. But how different it would have been for him if he had had other people to guide him, show him the right way to live his life.<\/p>\n

\u201cSuppose that I could find people who would take in children, of any age, who needed that sort of guidance, not to adopt them but to be surrogate parents, to help and advise them until they were old enough to take care of themselves. They might not even be orphans, but just children who needed adults to stand behind them and give them the confidence to face the world, to give them a knowledge of right from wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky sat up and looked at her husband, her face full of admiration. \u201cAdam, that\u2019s brilliant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will have to speak to Joe and Hoss, and I would like my father\u2019s advice as well, but tomorrow will be soon enough.\u201d He bent his head to kiss his wife, but before their lips met, he jerked his head up as he felt the familiar pain in the back of his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are going to bed to rest, otherwise you will be not be going anywhere,\u201d Becky ordered, and despite his protests, ten minutes later Adam was face down in bed, Becky massaging the tense muscles in his back.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you think it will work?\u201d asked Adam sleepily, still thinking of his scheme.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes of course, now stop talking and go to sleep, or I won\u2019t let you out of the house tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh? And you think you can stop me, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, because at this moment I\u2019m fitter than you.\u201d said Becky, as she pushed a little harder on his shoulder to emphasise the point, making Adam raise his head at the unexpected pain that the pressure had caused. Becky was satisfied with the reaction. \u201cSee what I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, I see.\u201d Adam suddenly turned over, grabbed Becky\u2019s arms, and forced her down onto the bed beside him. \u201cNow I\u2019m going to show you just how fit I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky laughed as she put her arms round his neck, and pulled him towards her.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Adam repeated to his father and brothers the idea he had outlined to Becky.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt will mean that, at least in the beginning, I will be away from the ranch occasionally, just until I can find the right people to run the scheme.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s OK, as long as we know when you\u2019ll be gone, we can cover for you,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, no problem there,\u201d agreed Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am still capable of filling in for you, you know,\u201d added Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust so long as you don\u2019t desert us completely,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo danger of that, I don\u2019t want the old homestead to fall into rack and ruin,\u201d laughed Adam. He looked at his family who were giving so generously of their efforts in order that he could turn his plan into reality. It made him realise how much he wanted others to be able to enjoy this feeling of having people who would stand behind you, and support you in your endeavours.<\/p>\n

Ben had a question. \u201cAre you going to pay these people to look after the children?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will only pay them keep for their charges and a small sum for themselves. If I pay them too much, I suspect that we will get people who only want to do it for the money, and I need those who will do it for love. They won\u2019t be easy to find, but they\u2019re out there somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded, he could see the sense in that. \u201cAnd how are you going to finance this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to use the money I got from selling grandfather\u2019s business to set up a trust fund and investments. That will provide enough money to care for thirty children.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThirty!\u201d Ben was surprised, he had not thought of it being so many. \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a drop in the ocean compared to what needs doing, but it is a start.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben raised his coffee cup in salute to his eldest son. \u201cBoys, a toast. To your brother, my son, whose heart is big enough to encompass not only his family, but thirty children besides.\u201d Joe and Hoss joined their father, raising their cups to Adam in acknowledgement.<\/p>\n

Adam looked down, feeling embarrassed at the undeserved praise from his father, then he stood and faced them. \u201cThis all started when I became dissatisfied with my life. Joe and Hoss demonstrated how much they cared about me by trying to show me that I was needed. That it turned out so costly couldn\u2019t have been foreseen, and does not alter what they tried to do. But the events that followed meant that I was given back a life that should have been lost, and I decided that I should do something worthwhile with it. The fact that it was given to me by my horse does not in any way change the responsibility I feel to use that life wisely. I was dissatisfied because I could see no purpose to my life, now I have that purpose, and I would like you to toast the one responsible. Gentlemen, remember Sport, the unlooked for saviour.\u201d<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

Diana Golding
\nMay 2002<\/p>\n

Next Story in the Memories of Love Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

To Rage in Heaven<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Hoss and Joe are full of good intentions when they try to help Adam out of his desolate mood, but it is wisely said that \u2018the road to Hell is paved with good intentions\u2019.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (19,870 words)<\/p>\n

Memories of Love Series, links to all stories within the series are included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10351,"featured_media":3216,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,1009,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-brothers","category-drama","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-1009-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1484,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/WoF-37Edengirl.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12305,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12305","url_meta":{"origin":14070,"position":0},"title":"Thoughts from the Man in Black (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Adam's reveals his innermost feelings after suffering a broken heart Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (2,000 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/6.jpg?fit=414%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":61229,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=61229","url_meta":{"origin":14070,"position":1},"title":"Making New Memories while Remembering Christmases Past (by Fanofoldtvshows)","author":"Fanofoldtvshows","date":"December 24, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary The Cartwright s and Hop Sing make new memories while talking their favorite past Christmases. 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