{"id":14373,"date":"2000-01-01T12:22:40","date_gmt":"2000-01-01T17:22:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14373"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:04:13","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:04:13","slug":"in-memoriam-to-borelli-by-robin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14373","title":{"rendered":"In Memoriam to Borelli (by Robin)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Summary: \u00a0<\/strong>A WHN for The Deadliest Game. \u00a0They&#8217;ve come from all over to pay their respects, and we find that really nothing is sacred to this group.<\/p>\n<p>Rating: \u00a0T \u00a0(2,940 words)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Author&#8217;s Note:<\/strong> \u00a0<em>The REALLY Losts are satires of the series written with much affection, eye rolling,\u00a0\u00a0and winks. \u00a0And can be somewhat risque&#8217;.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>In Memoriam to Borelli<br \/>\nA REALLY Lost Episode<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><u>Chapter 1<\/u><\/p>\n<p><u>Pretty Gal on the Stage<\/u><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Adam and Little Joe were traveling to home on the stage coach from San Francisco or Stockton or Secaucus. Pa had wired them to return home to the Ponderosa as soon as they could. There was to be a memorial service for his old pal, circus aerialist, Borrelli the Great.<\/p>\n<p>Despite his insane megalomaniacal and all round rotten unsuccessful attempt to have Little Joe take the blame for stabbing Borelli\u2019s romantic rival, young Carlo Alfieri, the Cartwrights were a forgiving lot.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Hoss urged Pa to host the event and let bygones be bygones. Besides, Borelli\u2019s ancient sister had promised to bring a huge pan of lasagna and sausages and peppers and cannelloni. Hoss loved lasagna. It reminded him of his dead mother.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The only other passenger was an attractive young lady. Both brothers eyed up and down and down and up her at the stage depot.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSure is a pretty gal,\u201d Joe said, his green eyes twinkling like the bottoms<br \/>\nof Heineken bottles glittering in the bottom of the recycling bin on a sunny<br \/>\nday. \u201cShe looks prettier than Petina, that acrobat gal Borelli wanted for his own.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe sure is, little brother,\u201d Adam said. \u201cAnd I saw her first.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo you didn\u2019t. I did. And she is going to be mine. All mine. MINE MINE.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs that so?\u201d Adam chuckled. \u201cWell Little Joe, I\u2019m sitting next to her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, Adam, I am going to sit opposite her and she can look right at me and see which brother is handsomer. It\u2019s me, older brother.\u201d Joe grinned. \u201cME ME ME!\u201d He decided he would flirt aggressively and be entertaining during the trip. Joe decided he would win the heart, hand and kishkas of that pretty girl\u2026as well as all the more romantic parts that Little Joe had memorized from &#8220;Playboy&#8221; centerfold.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Adam, decided otherwise. He would be cool, calm and polite. He would let Joe make a fool of himself acting like a jabbering monkey. The pretty gal would easily fall for his smooth charm.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Joe clambered into the seat opposite the lady, Adam slid next to her, his thigh resting warmly against hers.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Joe chattered and in his most friendly way pointed out all the sights as the coach rolled along. \u00a0\u201cThe Virginia City mall\u2026 and the Hooters and Roy Coffee\u2019s house, dead squirrel in the road, and the IKEA\u2026 There is our plether herd and the nauga breeding corral. And trees and rocks and grass&#8230;the Chevy dealership. Did I tell you we all drive not yet invented Chevys on the Ponderosa?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo!\u201d said the pretty gal. She was quite impressed.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, and we are headed home for a memorial service for a real dead guy! He fell off a trapeze trying to kill me or himself or someone. SPLAT.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSplat!\u201d the pretty gal gasped. \u201cGROSS!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat sure is romantic, Little Joe,\u201d Adam snickered. \u201cNothing more romantic than telling a lovely young lady about splattered dead guys.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAt least I\u2019m not telling her that she reminds me of my dead mother,\u201d Joe argued. \u201cBy the way, did I ever tell you about my dead mother who you remind me of so very much?\u201d Joe pulled out one of his nose hairs so a tear trickled down his handsome upper cheek as his lower cheek quivered against the stage seat. \u201cMama was from New Orleans and Pa said when she was in the house, it was just like springtime.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust like those fabric softener sheets that you toss in the drier?\u201d the gal smiled.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBetter!\u201d Joe exclaimed wriggling like a happy puppy as his cowboy pants grew suddenly tighter.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201dLike the potpourri we grow in the north pasture,\u201d Adam explained, accurately tossing his heavy Webster\u2019s dictionary at his brother\u2019s lap. The Cartwrights were quite proud of the diverse business enterprises they managed, cattle, mining, pleathers and naugas, a blue dress factory, potpourri fields, horses, and a new scotch guard factory for settee upholstery. Joe was even talking about starting a lumber mill in Walnut Grove. Cochise, Little Joe\u2019s pinto, was marketing his\/her own brand of gourmet coffee. Pa was frequently out picking grapes with their neighbor Joyce Edwards and Hoss was developing an all-you-can-eat pancake house chain. The Cartwrights were hard working.<\/p>\n<p>Adam was friendly but subdued. He pulled a book from his pocket and started to read \u201c1001 ways to Recycle Lead Bullets\u201d. He would let the lady see he was an educated gentleman and Joe was just a talkative kid with tight cowboy pants and a dead mommy. Heck, Adam\u2018s mother was dead and did anyone see him using that as a romantic come on? Heck NO!! He would just act morose and depressed and melancholic and recite dramatic couplets and obscene limericks he wrote. \u201cBy the way, Ma\u2019am\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you know a word that rhymes with \u2018Nantucket\u2019?\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cI write poetry. Limericks especially. I studied Limericks in Back East University.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOOO la la!\u201d the gal smiled and batted her thick black false eye lashes at the darkly handsome Adam. \u201cI do!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI do!?!?!?\u201d Both Cartwright brothers gasped at those forbidden words. Clutching their chests, they momentarily fainted. All the Cartwrights suffered from extreme cases of heart-stopping \u201ccommitment phobia\u201d and the sound of a woman saying \u201cI do\u201d was more dangerous to them than a lead bullet, a flaming Indian arrow or a wily coyote dropping an Acme safe on their handsome heads from a mountain top.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As soon as they regained consciousness, both brothers simultaneously decided to avoid any future contact with the pretty gal once the coach arrived in Virginia City.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***********<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><u>Chapter 2<\/u><\/p>\n<p><u>Golden Girls of the West<\/u><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>They had traveled all this way for the memorial to Borrelli the Great. All four women got off the stage in Virginia City, weary and dusty. It was a long way from Miami to Nevada but Sophia Petrillo had to be there to say her goodbyes.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPicture this, Rome, 1821. A beautiful peasant girl visits the circus and the aerialist falls for her. They swing around together doing&#8230;\u201d she elbows her tall daughter Dorothy in the ribs \u201cacrobatics in the moonlight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMa!\u201d Dorothy gasped.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGo on!\u201d Blanche urged. She loved to hear a bawdy tale almost as much as she loved looking at the tight pants on some of the handsome young cowboys passing by. One young cowboy in a green corduroy jacket looked quite yummy as did the taller, darker cowboy standing next to him. They looked like they had arrived on an earlier stage as they had some luggage stacked near them.<\/p>\n<p>The two cowboys were waving \u201cAdios\u201d to an attractive young lady who was riding away in a buckboard.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, one night we were walking home from gazing at the stars and eating dinner in Pascaloopys Pasta Parlor\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey had those in St. Olaf\u2026but they served Swedish Meatballs with the spaghetti. They were franchises,\u201d Rose explained.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Hush, Rose. Let Ma tell the story.\u201d Dorothy swatted her roomie with a rolled up copy of the Virginia City Enterprise. Blanch had inspired Mark Twain to write the \u201cJumping Frogs of Calaveras County\u201d\u2026but that was another episode.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey made cannelloni to die for\u2026 and a pistachio tortoni! Anyway. As we passed this dark alley, we saw this American sailor. A good looking fella.\u00a0 Wide shoulders, tight sailor pants\u2026prematurely silver hair. He was being mugged by some paskoloupe gavon pisans. He was doing pretty good!\u201d Sophia swung her geriatric fists in imitation of the brawl. \u201cBa biff bam! But one of them had a stiletto and went after that sailor boy. Well, Borrelli just parks my carcass on the dumpster and leaps into action.\u00a0 He tosses one guy this way and swings over the fire escape and belts the other two. That sailor, Ben Cartwright, and Borelli made mince meat out of those guys \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat happened next, Sophia?\u201d Blanche said imagining the gymnastic possibilities of a handsome, wide shouldered sailor and a graceful acrobat who later went on to be the Joker on Batman.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell those two macho guys were so proud of themselves, they went off arm and arm to celebrate in a bar.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd what did you do, Sophia?\u201d asked Rose.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, I was stuck on the dumpster and all of a sudden Borrelli remembered me and the two of them rush back and take me along,\u201d Sophia explained.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOooh Sophia! Two men!\u201d Blanche rolled her eyes. \u201cTell us more!\u201d She eyed the two cowboys who were still standing across the street, a curly haired one with the green jacket and a darkly handsome one in black. A buckboard had pulled up and HUGE cowboy had climbed out. He helped the other two load up their bags and they all rode off reciting naughty limericks and singing \u201cOne Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo, Borelli goes to the circus in the day and leaves me with Sailorboy Ben. He tells me how he has this life long dream of being a cowboy or being a space captain named Adama.\u00a0 In the night, Ben goes off to the John Wayne film festival and I am ALONE with Borelli. In the moonlight, I \u2026heh heh &#8230;dance the night away with Borelli. Both men adored me and both proposed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat did you do?\u201d Dorothy asked as the stage driver pitched their luggage from the top of the stage.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat could I do? I married your father, Sid Melton!\u201d Sophia said as a buckboard pulled up in front of them.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A handsome silver haired cowboy leaped down from the seat. \u201cSophia?\u201d the man asked.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBEN! BEN CARTWRIGHT!\u201d Sophia screeched like a teeny air raid siren in Brooklyn during a cold war shelter drill. She threw herself into the tall man\u2019s arms and he swung her off her feet and tossed her over his head like a feather.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMaaaaaaaaaaa!? Dorothy shrieked as Sophia flew 57 feet into the blue sky.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSophia!\u201d\u00a0 Rose gasped. She prayed the elderly woman wouldn\u2019t get hurt.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNice town you have here!\u201d Sophia said as she soared overhead and spun down ward like a piece of dandelion fluff.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHubba Hubba and WOWza!\u201d Blanche purred eyeing handsome Ben Cartwright. He was not only a hunka hunka burning love; he was a rich Cattle Baron too. He was just her type.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSophia!\u201d Ben bellowed again with hospitable delight and warm, western sincerity. He caught the teeny tiny woman in his arms and kissed her affectionately then gently set her down. \u00a0\u201cSorry I am late but the naugas broke through the fence and knocked down the hot tub and the satellite dish. I had to round up all 12,457 head my self as my boys weren\u2019t around. We have a big contract with the Chevy company for seat covers and I couldn\u2019t let those naugas stampede and get snagged in the potpourri fields.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIndeed!\u201d Blanche leaped forward and coiled herself around Ben Cartwright like a piece of feminine Velcro. \u201cI am Blanche Hollingsworth Devereau and I\u2019ve heard soooooo much about you, sir. I am from the south and I love manly men!\u201d she purred. \u201cWould you like to see my lingerie? Or what lies beneath said lingerie?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ben smiled. He loved friendly guests. \u201cWelcome! My third dead wife was from the south, New Orleans.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh? How long is she gone?\u201d Rose said sweetly. She worked in a bereavement center and knew how sad death was.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh she died many years ago, long before the show started. My youngest son, Little Joe was still called Teeny Small Baby Joe when Marie, my love, suddenly died.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe died suddenly?\u201d Dorothy Zbornak gasped.\u00a0 She was from NYC and was quite suspicious, even of virile hunky cowboys with heart stopping good looks.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll my wives died suddenly,\u201d Ben sighed.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll?\u201d the hair stood up on Dorothy\u2019s neck. She had grown up reading Nancy Drew books\u00a0 and spent many a Saturday Night watching re-runs of \u201cMurder She Wrote\u201c. Could Ben Cartwright be a blue beard murderer like the episode of\u00a0 \u201cDiagnosis Murder\u201d on PAX when Dick Van Dyke investigated the multi married tycoon played by some guy who had a brief career in MASH?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, Ben was married three times,\u201d Sophia explained as she pried Blanche\u2019s fingers from Ben\u2019s thigh.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHmmmmm\u2026\u201d Dorothy gasped. She and Rose exchanged suspicious looks.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid she have insurance?\u201d Rose asked.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid all THREE have insurance?\u201d Dorothy asked.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ben just loaded their soft sided Samsonite luggage into the buck board and ignored their foolishness. He was used to foolish women. His son\u2019s frequently dated the most foolish women available and Ben basically found the best strategy was to either ignore the foolish woman or exclaim over the particular son\u2019s brilliant idea in marrying her within eight minutes of meeting her. That was what Ben did when Joe announced he was marrying the psycho gypsy Tirza and when Hoss came home with the gambling widow and Adam found that Amish Morman Quaker gal. It worked like a charm.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIgnorance is bliss!\u201d Rose bragged as if she had read Ben\u2019s mind. She was truly an idiot savant.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><u>Chapter 3<\/u><\/p>\n<p><u>In Memoriam<\/u><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Borelli\u2019s Memorial service went better than anticipated. People made heartfelt speeches, reminisced and sang songs.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Hoss described the last time\/first time he met Borelli. \u201cPa insisted I wear an evil Hoss disguise. Nothin\u2019 like a plaid flannel shirt and battered stetson to change how a man looks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Next, Adam West, who later played Batman to Borelli\u2019s portrayal of the Joker talked about the time he tried to have his girlfriend pose as Ben Cartwright\u2019s wife but Adam Cartwright leaped into the hotel window and killed him. \u201cNo one played a freakish clown better than Borelli, unless it was Jamie Hunter Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Petina tearfully told of Borelli\u2019s lecherous jealousy and how she really wished she had the opportunity to see Joe Cartwright shirtless and in tights. Most of the women in the place cheered, whistled and stomped and yelled their agreement with that proposal. One woman, Susan, even did an efficient power-point presentation on the various benefits that having Joe shirtless and in tights would have to Virginia City, women in the US and humanity in general. The non-denominational minister had to clear the room for a half an hour while medical crews headed by Doc Martin and Trapper John MD revived the group.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Some even sang songs composed especially for the occasion.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The high point of the event was the performance by the Cartwright brothers. The song had nothing to do with Borelli, but it demonstrated the great versatility of talent the Cartwright boys had.\u00a0 Adam played the guitar while the other two sang.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;I Got You Babe&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>by Hoss and Joe <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Little Joe:] Pa says we&#8217;re young and we don&#8217;t know<br \/>\nWe won&#8217;t find out until we grow<br \/>\n[Hoss:] Well I don&#8217;t know if all that&#8217;s true<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause you got me, and baby brother I got you <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Hoss:] Babe<br \/>\n[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>(they doh-see-doh) <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Little Joe:] They say my loves won&#8217;t pay the rent<br \/>\nBefore it&#8217;s earned, my money&#8217;s all been spent<br \/>\n[Hoss:] I guess that&#8217;s so, you don&#8217;t have a pot (he pats Joe\u2019s flat stomach and Joe pats Hoss\u2019s chubby belly)<br \/>\nBut at least I&#8217;m sure of all the things we got<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] And those blue dressed gals are really hot <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Hoss:] Babe<br \/>\n[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Hoss:] We have Hop Sing\u2019s fake flowers in the spring\u2026 We get doomed gals to wear our rings<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] And when I&#8217;m sad, you&#8217;re a clown<br \/>\nAnd if I get scared, you&#8217;re always around<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] So let Pa say my hair&#8217;s too long<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause I don&#8217;t care, with you I can&#8217;t go wrong<br \/>\n[Hoss:] Then put your little hand in mine<br \/>\n[BOTH:] ain&#8217;t no hill or mountain our horses can&#8217;t climb <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Hoss:] Babe<br \/>\n[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[Hoss:] I got you to hold my hand<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] I got you to understand<br \/>\n[Hoss:] I got you to walk with me<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] I got you to talk with me<br \/>\n[Hoss:] I got you to kiss goodnight?<br \/>\n[BOTH:] EEEEEEEEEEEEEwwwww<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] I got you to hold me tight<br \/>\n[Hoss:] I got you, I won&#8217;t let go<br \/>\n[Little Joe:] I got you to love me so <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>[BOTH:] I got you babe<br \/>\nI got you babe<br \/>\nI got you babe<br \/>\nI got you babe<br \/>\nI got you babe!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Finally as a dramatic climax to the memorial, Borelli\u2019s romantic rival, young Carlo Alfieri climbed to the top of a high, tall, ladder and he and the voluptuous Petina performed the double, triple, vaulting spiral summersault spin leap of al dente linguini right into the huge steaming lasagna that the anonymous doomed ranch hands had placed in the front of the church.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHooray and Amen!\u201d the crowd cheered.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPass the parmesan cheese!\u201d Hoss Cartwright bellowed as he whipped his personal ladle from under his hat and his oversized dish from his vest.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHar har har har!\u201d chuckled Adam cynically as Sophia Petrillo passed each cowboy a heaping plate of pasta.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cManga!\u201d she urged.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid I ever tell you about my dead mommy?\u201d Joe said, searing his tongue on a molten pocket of ricotta cheese. A tear ran down his handsome upper cheek.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOH BAYbee!\u201d sighed Blanche running her hands up and down Ben\u2019s thigh.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid he have life insurance on those dead women?\u201d Dorothy asked again.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDelicious cup of coffee, horsie,\u201d Rose smiled at Coochie as the pinto filled her cup with his\/her special blend.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhinny!\u201d said Coochie appreciatively.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>*****End****<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tags: \u00a0Adam Cartwright<span style=\"display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: transparent; color: #555555; font-family: -apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Oxygen-Sans,Ubuntu,Cantarell,'Helvetica Neue',sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.5px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;\">, <\/span>Ben Cartwright<span style=\"display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: transparent; color: #555555; font-family: -apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Oxygen-Sans,Ubuntu,Cantarell,'Helvetica Neue',sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.5px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;\">, <\/span>Hoss Cartwright<span style=\"display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: transparent; color: #555555; font-family: -apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Oxygen-Sans,Ubuntu,Cantarell,'Helvetica Neue',sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.5px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;\">, <\/span>Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_14373\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"14373\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary: \u00a0A WHN for The Deadliest Game. \u00a0They&#8217;ve come from all over to pay their respects, and we find that really nothing is sacred to this group.<\/p>\n<p>Rating: \u00a0T \u00a0(2,940 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":14367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24,4,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-crossover","category-humor","category-whn","wpcat-24-id","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":782,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14389,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14389","url_meta":{"origin":14373,"position":0},"title":"When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Ponderosa Pie (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"January 12, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Inspired by the famous song sung by Perry Como and Dean Martin. 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Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 \u00a0(1,185 words) Author's Note: \u00a0The REALLY Losts are satires of the series written with much affection, eye rolling,\u00a0\u00a0and winks. \u00a0And can be somewhat risque'. \u00a0 Martha Stewart on Bonanza A REALLY Lost Blank Verse \u00a0 As inspired by a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Drama&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12939,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12939","url_meta":{"origin":14373,"position":2},"title":"He was Brave that Day (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"February 2, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 It all started with Hoss saving the life of a neighbor. Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (6,800 words)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Drama&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-9.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6204,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6204","url_meta":{"origin":14373,"position":3},"title":"Scars on the Inside (by Annie K Cowgirl)","author":"Annie K Cowgirl","date":"September 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0In memory of the beloved episode My Brother's Keeper. It's been five years since the accident and Adam still hasn't forgiven himself for shooting Joe. 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