{"id":14397,"date":"2000-01-12T12:13:04","date_gmt":"2000-01-12T17:13:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14397"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:04:12","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:04:12","slug":"the-commitment-of-charlie-angelus-by-robin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14397","title":{"rendered":"The Commitment of Charlie Angelus (by Robin)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> \u00a0If only they hadn’t stopped in that town.<\/p>\n

Rating: T \u00a0(1,140 words)<\/p>\n

Author’s Note:<\/strong> \u00a0The REALLY Losts are satires of the series written with much affection, eye rolling,\u00a0\u00a0and winks. \u00a0And can be somewhat risque’.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Commitment of Charlie Angelus
\nA REALLY Lost Episode<\/strong><\/p>\n

The three Cartwright brothers had ridden into town after six weeks on the hot dusty trail. Having just sold two herds of cattle and a string of horses as well as their patent rights to Silly Putty, they each had a pocket full of money. The town was jumping.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure hope we don\u2019t get bushwhacked again,\u201d Adam said. All three brothers simultaneously removed their hats and rubbed their lumpy heads. They replaced their hats and tied their horses at the hitching rail outside the Angelus Hilton and strode inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThink we can meet some pretty gals here in Angelus?\u201d Joe said hopefully as they checked into the busy hotel.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure hope so!\u201d Adam and Hoss said, looking around. The Angelus Hilton was crowded with cowboys, miners, gamblers, and a Star Trek Fans Convention as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJeez!\u201d Joe jumped closer to his brothers as a conventioneer dressed as Worf passed. \u201cI thought that was that crazy wolf who bit me in \u2018My Brother\u2019s Keeper\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put his arm around Joe. \u201cNot to worry, Little Brother. That big bad wolf is vulture bait and coyote meat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at Adam quizzically and shrugged. In some bizarre way, Adam made sense.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis place sure is jumping!\u201d Joe instantly grinned relieved by Adam\u2018s protective reassurance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s check in and get baths and shaves and some clean duds and have a fine time,\u201d Hoss suggested patting a cloud of dust from his clothes. \u201cHope they put those Hershey Kisses on our pillows!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHak hak,\u201d the room clerk choked. His allergies were driving him insane. \u201cWe use little Godiva chocolates.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGodiva!\u201d the three brothers smiled knowingly. \u201cMmmmmmmmmmmm!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe we\u2019ll get lucky, boys!\u201d Adam winked at a woman walking by wearing a diaphanous gown held on her voluptuous body by duct tape and chewing gum and a couple of happy face stickers. The woman paid the Cartwrights no mind and took her escort\u2019s arm. Her escort in a velour Star Fleet uniform looked vaguely familiar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you recognize that dude?\u201d Joe asked his brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t he that rotten Cavalry Officer who was chased by Cochise, Moss Johnson?\u201d Adam raised his eyebrow as he signed the hotel register.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah. I thought he was Dr. Johns who fixed my busted rib,\u201d Hoss said, signing his name beneath his brother\u2018s.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI really thought he was that newspaper guy, Tully, who caused that uproar when I was a pony express rider,\u201d Joe said as he too signed the register.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s Doctor Bones McCoy,\u201d the room clerk explained, handing them a brass key. \u201cOf the Enterprise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it! He writes that health advice column for the Territorial Enterprise<\/em>!\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBet he would be no match for Doc Martin!\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhich one? Doc Martin #1, #2 or #3?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny or all,\u201d Adam said. \u201cNo one beats Doc Martin. No one can say \u2018He\u2018s young and strong and will be all right with some rest\u2019 like the three Doc Martins.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The room clerk blew his nose and said, \u201cWe only got one room left with all these folks in town for the hanging, the horse race, the Star Trek Convention and parent\u2019s weekend at University of Nevada at Angelus. And don\u2019t count on having much luck with hot women, dumb blondes and saloon girls either, boys,\u201d the room clerk warned. \u201cAnd the chamber maid is 70.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOH NO!\u201d The Cartwrights grasped their manly parts that they had not been used for much fun in the last three months. \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey all went to Chicago,\u201d the skinny bald clerk explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cChicago?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYup. They got tickets to the Oprah Show.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOprah?\u201d Hoss sighed longingly. \u201cI love Oprah.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo gals?\u201d Joe wept.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo gals. You should have made reservations online if you wanted some,\u201d the clerk shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we gonna do for fun?\u201d Hoss tugged on Adam\u2019s sleeve.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled to himself. He had a great idea but he would have to get Adam out of the way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

“Hello Angels, this is Charlie,” Hoss said into his neckerchief-wrapped not- yet-invented phone. He was squeezed into the hallway phone booth. He and Joe got the idea after the spotted the three girls and noticed some muscle-bound guy running out of the phone booth in some blue long johns. All of a sudden, Little Joe thought up one of his wild eyed crazy schemes and pulled Hoss along with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss couldn’t believe his kid brother had roped him into making a prank phone call to the pretty gals who were staying in hotel suite down the hall. If Adam caught them, he would be fuming.<\/p>\n

“It doesn’t sound like you, Charlie,” Sabrina said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Talk down lower,” Joe poked Hoss in the ribs. \u201cLower, Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss knelt down in the phone booth almost crushing Little Joe in the close quarters. “Hello, Angels, this is Charlie. I want you to rendezvous with a fine young man in the moonlight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn the moonlight?\u201d Kelly asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn the moonlight,\u201d Hoss repeated.<\/p>\n

“Who is it, Charlie?” the boys heard Jill asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Tell them my name…” Joe, squeezed between Hoss and the wall, whispered in Hoss’ ear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Little Joe,\u201d Hoss stammered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Little Joe?” Kelly asked. “Is this a child?\u201d<\/p>\n

“Ummm…” Hoss stammered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly, Adam came down the hall. He had assumed his two younger brothers were still taking bubble baths. Adam quickly learned that Joe and Hoss were not in the bath room when he tapped on the door and a bony, naked little old lady with a bright smile threw the door open and said, \u201cCome on in, Cowboy. The water is just fine!\u201d It took Adam twenty minutes to extricate himself and he almost drowned wrestling himself from her bony clutches.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Yes, a pesky child!” Adam growled grabbing the phone from Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Who is this?” Jill Munro said flipping her long blond hair. Her hair was almost as beautiful as Joe\u2019s but she didn\u2019t know it. Imagine what gorgeous tresses their children could have? Imagine the fun Joe and Jill could have making those beautiful children? Just imagine!!<\/p>\n

Alas! It was not destined to be!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Hoss and Joe screeched and fell over each other as they raced down the hall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“This is the pesky child’s older brother who will be hauling Pesky and Big Pesky off to their Pa for making prank phone calls.” Adam said. Water dripped from his black shirt onto the floor of the phone booth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Oh!” Kelly said. Adam heard the lovely girl detectives giggle as the door of their sweet swung open.<\/p>\n

“But I am available if you ladies would like to go out for a drink…\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cThat is, if you have no other commitments?\u201d<\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: Adam Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0If only they hadn’t stopped in that town.<\/p>\n

Rating: T \u00a0(1,140 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":14367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-whn","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":697,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12738,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12738","url_meta":{"origin":14397,"position":0},"title":"The Noose (by GinnyF)","author":"Ginny F","date":"March 23, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A deserted town and strange happenings.\u00a0 Will the boys survive the night? 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