{"id":14398,"date":"2000-01-12T12:18:14","date_gmt":"2000-01-12T17:18:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14398"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:04:12","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:04:12","slug":"sx-scenes-by-robin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14398","title":{"rendered":"S*x Scenes (by Robin)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> \u00a0It all started over an argument about…..<\/p>\n

Rating: \u00a0T (3, 125 words)<\/p>\n

Author’s Note:<\/strong> \u00a0The REALLY Losts are satires of the series written with much affection, eye rolling,\u00a0\u00a0and winks. \u00a0And can be somewhat risque’.<\/em><\/p>\n

S*x Scenes
\nA REALLY Lost Episode<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter One<\/strong><\/p>\n

Before Breakfast<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Hey!” shouted Hoss as he walked past Little Joe’s room in the front or back or side of the house. “Them are my sox, Little Joe!”<\/p>\n

“No they ain’t!” Joe argued as he sat barefooted on the edge of his bed. A gray sock dangled from the boy’s left hand and the weird portrait of the Indian Chief stared down on the handsome youngest son of Cattle Baron Ben Cartwright. “They are mine!”<\/p>\n

“No they ain’t!” Hoss argued angrily.<\/p>\n

“Yes they are!” Joe countered.<\/p>\n

“Ain’t!”<\/p>\n

“Are!”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Ain’t!”<\/p>\n

“Are!”<\/p>\n

“Ain’t!” Hoss shouted louder.<\/p>\n

“Are!” Joe said indignantly. Then he figured he would outwit Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t!\u201d Hoss bellowed attempting to grab his brother and rip the sox of his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAIN\u2019T!\u201d Joe repeated Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre!\u201d Hoss countered not realizing Joe had confused him into saying the wrong word.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t,\u201d Joe giggled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cARE ARE ARE!!!!\u201d Hoss bellowed his voice rattling off the walls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSee, I told you they are mine,\u201d Joe grinned triumphantly. \u201cMINE!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute! You tricked me!\u201d Hoss lunged for his smaller brother. Joe ducked, flipped backwards and raced down the hallway nearly careening into his father.<\/p>\n

“What are you two boys arguing about?” Ben demanded, walking down the hallway. He narrowly missed getting knocked down the staircase by Little Joe and Hoss.<\/p>\n

“Hoss said I stole his socks!” Joe said, furiously waving the gray socks in
\nthe air. He danced back and forth trying to avoid being captured by Hoss.<\/p>\n

“He did! Joe, you sock thief! Them are mine!” Hoss again reached out to grab the sox.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe agilely feinted left and slid right and hid behind Ben.\u201d MINE!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWatch out!\u201d Ben said. \u201cI just had that banister fixed again for the seventy third time. Bob Villa said to let the glue set for at least a week before any of us plunge down the stairs and bang into the railing again. After all, we are all big men and even the sturdiest oak isn\u2019t enough to stand up to our manly man tumbles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Pa!\u201d Hoss and Joe nodded obediently in unison like two bobble heads. \u201cYes sir!\u201d<\/p>\n

“Well,” said their father wisely. “There is only one way to tell who owns the socks.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDraw straws?\u201d Joe suggested. \u201cHold lit matches?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCut cards?\u201d Hoss suggested.\u201d Eat pancakes?\u201d<\/p>\n

“Smell those sox? And if you die quick, you know they belong to Joe?” Adam
\nchuckled as he came out of his room. \u201cIf you die slow, they belong to Hoss?”<\/p>\n

Adam knew they weren’t his as Laura Dayton had purchased 17 dozen black socks for Adam upon their engagement and he still had at least 3 dozen left. Whiney blonde Laura must be buying poor cousin Will’s undies now. Poor Will! Zorro under-ooos briefs? Starched boxers? GARTERS!!?!?!<\/p>\n

“No, try the sock on… Little Joe has big feet…” Ben started.<\/p>\n

“And you know what gals say about the size of a feller’s tootsies?” Joe winked wiggling his adorable hips like a western Chippendale dancer.<\/p>\n

“Ahem!\u201d Ben corrected. It was far too early in the morning to see his youngest son doing a hoochie dance at the top of the stairs. He hadn\u2019t even had a cup of coffee yet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Joseph, like all of us manly Cartwrights, has big feet etc. etc.\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEspecially the \u2018etc.\u2019,\u201d Ben smiled knowingly. He was proud of the legacy of that Cartwright \u201cetc\u201d.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEspecially the \u2018etc.\u2019,\u201d Joe bragged wiggling his hips again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d Ben shouted grabbing his hyperactive son by his shoulders. \u201cSave the dancing for after my coffee!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir!\u201d Joe said. He winked and gave one last wiggle. No one in Nevada territory winked and wiggled with the agility of Little Joe Cartwright; though many tried, few succeeded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben continued, \u201cJoseph has big feet. However, Hoss has both the Cartwright feet genes as well as the Borgstrom feet genes; we all know Uncle Gunnar.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the convoluted synchronization of Cartwright foot genes and Borgstrom foot genes is a bio-medical astonishing medical phenomenon!\u201d Adam exclaimed. He had studied that topic in Back East U.<\/p>\n

“Uncle Gunnar the Viking Comanchero?”\u00a0 Joe added with a shudder. Gunnar wore sandals even in the middle of winter. He started that fashion faux pas when he started wearing sombreros and orange satin shirts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that Uncle Gunnar,\u201d Adam nodded. \u201cWhat was the man thinking? Basic black was so cool and sophisticated.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Uncle Gunnar,” Ben continued was also known as ‘Big Foot’ or the \u2018Yetti\u2018 or \u2018El Tootsie Grando\u2019. Put the sock on Joe and let’s see.” Ben crossed his arms across his chest in a very Solomonic gesture.<\/p>\n

Joe pulled on the sock, and pulled on the sock and pulled on the sock. The foot part fit fine. However the top of his sock reached beyond Little Joe’s thigh and could easily have been used as a turtleneck sweater had Joe unrolled the garment completely.<\/p>\n

“OOooops… guess these are yours, Hoss,” Joe giggled.<\/p>\n

“Sock thief!” Hoss said, yanking the sock from his smaller brother’s foot and tossing Joe aside with a thunk. Adam snagged Joe by his hair before he tumbled down the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter two<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lunch on the Range<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lunch was routine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Each boy opened his Zorro lunch box and quietly ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich Hop Sing had packed for him. Joe wanted a Lunchable but Pa had declared them \u201cCrappolla!\u201d and off limits. Each drank their entire thermos of milk and then went back to work.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa said we got guests for dinner and we should finish up early,\u201d Joe reminded the others.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s lady friend Camille is joining us,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd don\u2019t you boys forget to change your sox!\u201d Adam reminded his younger brothers as he headed back to the house to meet his guest. \u201cCamille is delicate.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Three<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dinner on the Ponderosa<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI always look well when I’m near death,\u201d said Camille, coughing her last lung into Ben\u2019s hanky. She handed it back to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at it and handed it back to the wan tubercular gal that Adam had brought home for dinner. \u201cKeep it my dear. I have plenty more where they came from.\u201d Ben had just bought a bale of new Cattle Baron hankies down at the mercantile at the annual white sale. The Cartwrights went through them like Kleenex. Ben was always generous to guests. Sometimes he even gave them a few acres of land or some compost or a bunch of clean hankies.<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright and Tubercular Camille Blue-Dress had spent the afternoon on the front porch reading depressing sonnets.\u00a0 Hop Sing had cooked a marvelous dinner of Adam\u2019s favorite foods: black truffles and black caviar on burnt pumpernickel toast and blackened Cajun flounder with black eyed peas. They all watch frail Camille smile at her beloved. She had brought blackberry cobbler for Adam for dessert and he was smitten\u2026 at least for today.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThink I should Heimlich her, Pa?\u201d Hoss offered hospitably.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy bother?\u201d Ben shrugged.<\/p>\n

“Better wed than dead.” Camille coughed. \u201cHack hack choke.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you mean it the other way? \u201c Joe asked the coughing girl, raising his voice. “I see dead people. I date dead people before they die.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe too!\u201d said Hoss. \u201cAnd most of them are gals who fall for one of us Cartwrights.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI tend to marry them first\u2026then they die,\u201d Ben smiled, paternally handing Camille a bowl of vichyssoise with black bean garnish and a new hanky. She didn\u2019t quite notice that the fine linen was monogrammed \u201cRIP\u201d.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201dYou look so pale and so terminal,\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cWould you like me to play my guitar for you, Darling? I can play great funeral tunes. It will only take a second for me to run upstairs and get my new guitar that came all the way from New York.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA second is too long. Oops!\u201d she said and croaked. Her head flopped in the cold potato soup. One black bean floated up her right nostril.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe giggled nervously as the cold potato soup splattered on Adam\u2019s new black polyester shirt. Little Joe put his elbows on Camille\u2019s back and reached for the breadbasket. Camille head bobbed as a wave of vichyssoise sloshed over the edge of the soup bowl.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam whacked his younger brother over the head with the ladle. It was the same silver ladle that Marie had bought with Ben on their honeymoon. The infamous ladle of WOWza.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you ask for me to pass the bread? Were you brought up in a barn?\u201d Adam corrected him. \u201cGet your elbows off my gal\u2019s back while she drowns in the soup.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dJOSEPH! Adam!\u201d Ben thundered. \u201cCouldn\u2019t you even let me finish dinner in peace?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPeas? Pa this is potato soup\u2026\u201d Hoss interrupted. \u201cPeas is green.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPEACE HOSS! Peace!\u201d Ben bellowed. \u201cDo you think we could have a quiet, calm meal without all of you starting up with your brothers and another dead woman in the soup? And watch how you swing that ladle. It is a family heirloom!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dYeah, Joe. We worked dang hard today fencing in that North Pasture so that the Plethers and Naugas wouldn\u2019t break free and trample down that miniature golf course that Adam put in last week.\u201d Hoss grumbled. He wiped his chin on Pa\u2019s toupee and replaced it perfectly centered on Ben\u2019s cranium.<\/p>\n

\u201dSure wish we could have one meal with out some dead girl in the soup.\u201d Ben muttered as he took a sip of his soup. \u201cJust one.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged. \u201cWhat\u2019s for dessert?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBlackberry pie,\u201d Joe smiled. \u201cAdam\u2019s favorite.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shuddered; the only dessert he hated was blackberry pie. The teeny seeds caught in the gaps in his teeth and made whistley sounds. \u201cThink I\u2019ll ride into town for some dessert.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little did his family know what Hoss REALLY meant by that remark.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, while you are in town, pick up a dozen gal-sized coffins,\u201d Ben requested.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd a quart of low fat chocolate milk,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd some Pepperidge Farm cookies, Tahoes!\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMmmmm\u2026 Tahoes!\u201d smiled Ben and Adam with matching twinkles in their smoldering eyes. Both father and son loved those Tahoe sweeties.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Four<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dessert in the International Suite<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I’ve never been alone with a man before – even with my dress on. With my dress off, it’s most<\/em> unusual. I don’t seem to mind. Do you?” she lied to Hoss Cartwright.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Hoss nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot. His sox were wet and he made squishy noises as he walked. He had no idea how he wound up in the boudoir of the internationally infamous saloon singer Sally Bowles. One minute he was in the mercantile picking up supplies, the next he was helping the alluring gal schlep her tiny sack of gourmet poodle food up to her penthouse suite in the International Hotel in the pouring rain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And there was NO POODLE. Hoss was beginning to think he was tricked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWillkommen<\/em>, bienvenue<\/em>, welcome,” said Sally Bowles to Hoss as she locked the door behind them. Her suite was known as the Pod Bay.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy, Ma\u2019am\u201d Hoss said nervously eyeing her ruby velvet robe. Pa had a similar robe; only it had pink satin lapels. \u201cAin\u2019t you got a poodle around here?\u201d<\/p>\n

“Poodle?\u201d she laughed. \u201cWhy don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” Sally Bowles, international entertainer, said to Hoss as he dripped on the floor. She had no poodle but she sure had plans for Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTake off my fuzzy funky wool jacket?\u201d he asked nervously as a puddle spread around his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd whatever else suits your fancy. Sweetie,\u201d Sally smiled. \u201cI would love to see your birthday suit\u2026and your SOX!\u201d<\/p>\n

So Hoss took off his hat nervously and turned it round and round and round in his hands. \u201cUmmmm. Ummmm. Umm!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs that all that suits you?\u201d she said eyeing his ten-gallon hat and the rest of the large cowboy. \u201cCome on, darling. Why don’t you kick off your spurs?”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026er\u2026 these boots are dang tight too.\u201d Hoss sat down on the floor to pull off his muddy boots and sat in the puddle. \u201cAnd my sox are wet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHossie Wossie\u2026 you just got your sox all wet. Don\u2019t you think you should take them off and let them dry by the fire? And your britches too? And your flaming map boxers? You just sat in a puddle!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blushed knowing that his brothers would tease him if they saw his wet cowboy pants and boxers hanging near the fireplace. Joe would laugh and say \u201cLooks like Big brother pissed his pants\u2026 again!\u201d Joe would cackle like a hen laying an oversized ostrich egg on a cold night. Then Adam would chuckle and shake his head and toss a lit match at Hoss or shove him down the well. Hoss did not relish that \u2026again. It wasn\u2019t easy being the middle boy and having sox trouble.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Ya wanna dance or would you rather just suck face?” Sally Bowles said rudely yanking off the cowboy\u2018s sox.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGarsh, I ain\u2019t a very good dancer Miss Sally.\u201d Hoss blushed modestly. He wasn\u2019t really a bad dancer. For a huge man, he was quite light on his feet and could do the Virginia Reel, the mambo and was learning the hora from Mr. Kauffman the peddler as well as the tarantella from Mrs. Rossi. Older brother Adam could spout poetry and act cultured, Joe could melt a heart with his grin, the twinkle in his green eyes and his secret soxs stuffed in the crotch of his cowboy pants but Hoss could dance like Fred Astaire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More importantly, Hoss Cartwright had learned that playing shy and na\u00efve with women worked like a charm.<\/p>\n

“You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.” Sally batted her eyelashes at Hoss. \u201dThat and hot sox.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHot sox?\u201c Hoss swallowed hard looking down at his wooly argyle sox.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes! No other trashy woman has a yen for sox like moi!\u201d Sally purred.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks. Folks say my other brothers are smarter but I am likeable and have a good heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd mighty big feet. You know what they say about men with BIG feet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat you better watch out when you dance together?\u201d Hoss said innocently. He remembered stomping on Mr. Kaufman\u2019s bunions a couple of times when they did the hora.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh no!\u201d Sally purred. \u201cThat is not what they say about men with BIG FEET!! Didn\u2019t anyone ever tell you that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blushed and whispered, \u201cMen with big feet have big\u2026 big\u2026umm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Sally snuggled closer and kissed Hoss seductively. \u201cSay it Hoss. Men with big feet have big\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSox?\u201d Hoss blushed. He prayed he had remembered to wear clean sox that matched and had no holes in them as this was going to be the night that some lucky gal was going to see the sox of Hoss Cartwright.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Four<\/strong><\/p>\n

Midnight Snack In Virginia City<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hours later, the Cartwrights, desperate for dessert had ridden into town to search for Hoss and the Tahoe cookies. They found Hoss sitting in the corner of the saloon in the lobby of the International House. Hoss\u2019 head was spinning and he tried to tell the tale of his traumatic encounter with hoochie mama Sally Bowles.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Then she tried to sit in my lap while I was standing up.” Hoss told Ben, Adam and Little Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen what happened son?\u201d Ben said, protectively patting distraught Hoss on his wide back much as the Karate Kid polished a car.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard a scream, and I didn’t know if it was me who screamed or not!\u201d Hoss sobbed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf it was I or not\u2026\u201dAdam corrected automatically as he looked up the staircase towards the private area of the saloon. No one messed with his brothers without Adam Cartwright tending to it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy that brazen hussy! I think I am going right up there and give her a piece of my mind!\u201d Ben said angrily as he comforted Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToo late Pa, Adam already headed up the stairs and he looked mighty excited. \u201c Joe winked and grinned. \u201cMighty excited.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe sorta looked like he was a thinkin\u2019 with his lips agin, Pa.\u201d Hoss said hitching up his trousers and shoving his BIG soxless feet into his boots. \u201cShe done stole my sox! My good argyles!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour older brother always watches out for you two boys,\u201d Ben said proudly. \u201cSuch a good son! And he always wears clean black sox too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, he sure does,\u201d Joe sighed, wishing he had rushed up the stairs before Adam. Joe was wiry and quick and probably a better athlete that his older brother but when it came to strategy and protecting his younger brothers from the attentions of alluring, slutty women, Adam would take the fall for them and die with a big smile on his handsome face and his sox steaming.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright pounded on the door of Sally Bowle\u2019s private suite. \u201cOpen this Pod Bay up!!\u201d he demanded mellifluously. Her butler HAL came to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is there? Miss Bowles is not receiving visitors,\u201d said HAL in a flat tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Open the Pod Bay doors, HAL.” Adam demanded pounding on the door.<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” HAL said firmly. \u201cMiss Bowles has company right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not Dave! My name is Cartwright. Adam Cartwright. I demand Sally Bowles come to the door, right now! Open the Pod Bay doors, HAL\u201d<\/p>\n

“What’s the problem, Dave\u2026er\u2026Adam?” Sally said, swinging open the door. She was wearing some sort of glittery sheer gown that gave the illusion that you were seeing more than you thought you were seeing. She also was twirling one of Hoss\u2019 charred sox in her hand.<\/p>\n

“I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.” Adam growled as he stepped into the suite. \u201cAnd those are my brother\u2019s sox!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly one. A little souvenir! The other is in my cleavage.\u201d Sally smiled seductively.\u201d Want to search me? I don\u2019t understand why you are complaining!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I can see either, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d HAL said. The butler opened the second door of the suite and handed a tall blonde, blue-eyed cowboy his hat. HAL handed Sally another pair of sox. These belonged to the departing cowhand.<\/p>\n

“What are you talking about, HAL?” Sally smiled batting her black eyelashes at Adam and tucking the sox into her cleavage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” Adam said, noticing Cool Hand Luke leaving through the other door to Sally\u2019s place, hitching up his cowboy pants and chugging down a bottle of Newman\u2019s best Ranch dressing. \u201cI came for my brother Hoss\u2019 sox.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSox?\u201d Sally smiled. \u201cEveryone wants sox!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0It all started over an argument about …<\/p>\n

Rating: \u00a0T (3,125 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":14367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1224,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":24989,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=24989","url_meta":{"origin":14398,"position":0},"title":"A Little Bit of Heaven – a tribute (by McFair_58)","author":"mcfair_58","date":"November 12, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: This was written for Michael Landon's 83rd birthday.\u00a0 He may be gone but he will never be forgotten!\u00a0 Joe and Hoss have a discussion. 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