Rated:\u00a0 K+<\/p>\n
Word Count:\u00a0 2,176<\/p>\n
Summary: \u00a0 \u00a0Words and actions impact and influence the people around us more than we realize. \u00a0 \u00a0A WHN for \u201cFirst Born.\u201d Written for the 2017 Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Under the Influence<\/strong><\/p>\n 1<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Slumped in the blue chair by the stairs, Ben Cartwright slept fitfully.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t meant to doze, but he\u2019d grown weary waiting for Joe to return home after sneaking out of the house to follow his half-brother Clay into another life.<\/p>\n Another life.\u00a0 <\/em>Acid churned in Ben\u2019s stomach at the mere thought that his youngest son might be gone forever.<\/p>\n Three wives, each so very different.\u00a0 And three sons\u2014half-brothers who bore no physical resemblance whatsoever, but who shared a love of the land and a commitment to each other and the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n Then, out of nowhere, another half-brother appeared, nearly the mirror image of Joe\u2014the same height and build, the same hair and eyes.\u00a0 Marie\u2019s eyes.<\/em>\u00a0 Ben had recognized the truth of it the moment Clay announced he was Marie de Marigny\u2019s firstborn son, even if Adam and Hoss didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Joseph, of course, had no such misgivings and bonded instantly with his new sibling, especially after a night under the influence of alcohol supplied by said sibling.<\/p>\n When the mail came from Judge Wharton in New Orleans confirming Clay\u2019s identity, Ben hoped that life on the Ponderosa\u2014however altered by the addition of a fifth Cartwright\u2014would nevertheless continue in the same fashion.\u00a0 After all, Clay was likeable enough and, as his own firstborn had pointed out, a hard worker.\u00a0 Ben prayed he could influence Clay to adopt the family\u2019s values as his own, and that his stepson would adapt to ranch life.<\/p>\n Fate had other plans.\u00a0\u00a0 Accused of cheating at cards, Clay killed a miner in self-defense.\u00a0 In and of itself, shootings were not an unusual event in the wild, silver and gold town of Virginia City, but it wasn\u2019t the first time it had happened to his stepson, and likely not the last.\u00a0 The investigative report provided by the Judge detailed other such incidents.\u00a0 Although ruled self-defense in every instance, the killings illustrated Marie\u2019s son had led a troubled life fraught with danger.\u00a0 Danger Joseph would now share.<\/p>\n Roused from sleep by the sound of footsteps on the porch, Ben swallowed the bile in his throat and hurried to open the door.\u00a0 Praise God! Joe stood before him, soaked in sweat, pale, and speechless before burying his head in his father\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n Ben guided his son to the settee and sat next to him, arm around his shoulders, unwilling to break their connection.\u00a0 He knew Joe should be in bed after the beating he took from those miners looking to get back at Clay, but more than bones and soft tissue needed mending this time.<\/p>\n \u201cI tried to bring him back, Pa, I even offered to go with him until he was ready to settle down.\u201d\u00a0 Joe leaned his head back and stared unseeing at the ceiling, tears flowing from the corners of his eyes.<\/p>\n 2<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n The door slam reverberated through the house, rattling windows and causing a book left on the arm of the blue chair to topple.<\/p>\n Hoss all but ran down the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d he shouted. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust our kid brother expressing displeasure with his usual disregard for people and property.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s enough, Adam,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0 He stood by the fireplace, shoulders sagging, hands in pocket.\u00a0 To Hoss, he explained, \u201cJoe doesn\u2019t believe we understand his loss.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe we don\u2019t,\u201d Adam admitted. He picked up the fallen book and sat in his chair. \u201cIt\u2019s hard to fathom how Joe could form that strong of an attachment in such a short period of time.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s more than losing a brother he had barely begun to know,\u201d he said. \u201cSharing memories of Marie with Clay brought her to life.\u00a0 So his leaving is like losing his mother all over again.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam exchanged knowing looks.\u00a0 Both remembered the nightmare-laden nights following Marie\u2019s death when the house was filled with their younger brother\u2019s anguished cries.\u00a0 More than a year passed before the boy no longer crawled into one or the other\u2019s bed seeking solace.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat can we do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss.\u00a0 We can\u2019t tell him to forget Clay like we would some girl who toyed with his feelings, or promise him another brother will be along next week to make him forget.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou did all you could.\u00a0 You asked Clay to stay and be a part of the family,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but I had also warned him Joe was impressionable and asked him to use his influence in a positive way.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothin\u2019 wrong with that to my way o\u2019 thinkin\u2019,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, but I can\u2019t help but wonder if Clay pushed Joe away because of what I said to him.\u00a0 If so, I\u2019m responsible for both losses.\u201d\u00a0 Ben lowered himself to the plank table and sat with his hands between his knees.<\/p>\n \u201cBoth?\u201c Adam and Hoss said in unison.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe gave Clay his pocket picture of Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n A low rumble emanated from Adam\u2019s throat as he remembered the heartbroken little boy who quaked in fear on his seventh birthday because he had forgotten what his mother looked like.\u00a0 When Hoss brought him an old pocket watch, he removed the clockworks, and Pa put Marie\u2019s picture in it.\u00a0 They’d given it to Joe for Christmas that year and he had carried it with him ever since.<\/p>\n \u201cShould I saddle the horses?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Hoss, but I think we need to let Joe work through this on his own.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat if he goes after Clay again?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked.<\/p>\n \u201cClay said some pretty hurtful things to Joe.\u00a0 I doubt he\u2019ll follow him now,\u201d Ben said, hoping he was right, but sorry for the reason.<\/p>\n 3<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Fractured.\u00a0 It was the only word Joe could think of to describe how he felt.\u00a0 Or maybe shattered was more like it, like a mirror broken into a thousand shards of glass.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard tell that twins could feel each other\u2019s pain.\u00a0 Did Clay feel his?\u00a0 Their mother\u2019s blood flowed in both of them, but they weren\u2019t twins and they had only known each other a few weeks.\u00a0 But Clay was his half-brother just like Adam and Hoss were.\u00a0 Would he feel this shattered if either of them left?\u00a0 They wouldn\u2019t leave, would they?\u00a0 Without a doubt, he knew he\u2019d never survive another brother\u2019s departure.\u00a0 Maybe he should be the one to go.\u00a0 Maybe doing the leaving would hurt less than being left.<\/p>\n Cochise snorted in response.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t think so?\u00a0 What do you know any way?\u00a0 Just drink your coffee and leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI may have to drink the horse swill you call coffee,\u201d Adam said as he entered Joe\u2019s camp, \u201cbut I draw the line at sharing Cochise\u2019s mug.\u201d He took the lid off the coffee pot and sniffed before pouring the strong black liquid into the tin cup from his saddlebag.\u00a0 Truth was, Joe made a more-than-decent trail brew, but he\u2019d never tell him that.\u00a0 Not today anyway.\u00a0 Today\u2019s conversation would be more . . . circumspect.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cLooking for you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid Pa send you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 And not Hop Sing or Doc Martin either. Satisfied?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess.\u00a0 Why are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTo bring you home.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s worried.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought he didn\u2019t send you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t.\u00a0 I\u2019m here of my own volition.\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked around the camp noting the absence of a stream or scenic vista or soft ground on which to lay a bedroll.\u00a0 \u201cWhy here by the way?\u201d\u00a0 Joe sat against a large boulder hugging his knees.\u00a0 When he didn\u2019t respond, Adam scrutinized him.\u00a0 He breathed easily, but not deeply, so his ribs were still sore but on the mend.\u00a0 The bruising on his face had faded although the scab above his left eyebrow remained.\u00a0 As many times as that spot had bled after a fight, it\u2019s a wonder the kid had any eyebrow left at all.\u00a0 Then he saw it.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s in the jug?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPulque.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh.\u00a0 The infamous source of your \u2018condition\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was in no \u2018condition\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI agree.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWant some?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had never tried the liquor, and weighed the consequences of having this conversation over a drink.\u00a0 \u201cSure, why not.\u201d\u00a0 He sat down next to Joe and watched as the kid poured a milky, slightly foamy and somewhat viscous beverage into his tin cup. It had a peculiar taste, but a not-altogether-unpleasant one.\u00a0 \u201cAren\u2019t you going to have any?\u201d he asked after Joe filled his cup again.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had enough.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf what?\u00a0 Pulque or feeling sorry for yourself?\u201d\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t intend to go on the offensive quite so soon.\u00a0 Maybe it was the liquor loosening his tongue or dulling his brain.\u00a0 Whatever the cause, Joe didn\u2019t appear to take offense.\u00a0 In fact, he looked slightly bemused as he filled Adam\u2019s cup for a third time, or maybe fourth.\u00a0 And was that a smile or a frown?\u00a0 Adam rubbed his eyes with his palms. Yes, there was definitely a frown on his brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, kid.\u00a0 Tell me what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 Why are you out here in this\u2014\u201d\u00a0 Adam waved his hand in circles.\u00a0 \u201c\u2014garden spot of the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe tilted his head back to look at the stars and recall that night.\u00a0 Viva la brothers!<\/em> \u201cThis is where Clay and I celebrated being brothers. Where he told me about his life.\u00a0 It\u2019s also where I caught up to him when he left.\u00a0 Where he told me I didn\u2019t mean anything to him; that he didn\u2019t want or need me in his life; that he didn\u2019t need anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe said trouble had followed him all of his life because he was alone with no one to back him up.\u00a0 Okay, I get that.\u00a0 But, he had a chance to be part of a family and he threw it all away.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t make any difference to him whatsoever.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou, Joe.\u00a0 You have had a greater impact on him than you realize.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you figure that?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam counted off his list on his fingers.\u00a0 \u201cFirst, when he found out he had a brother, he came looking for you.\u00a0 Third, when he was in trouble, you stood up for him. \u00a0You believed he didn\u2019t cheat when no one else did.\u00a0 Everywhere he goes now you will be that little voice in his head.\u00a0 You\u2019ll influence him forever.\u00a0 Trust me.\u00a0 You are unforgettable.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2019m not.\u00a0 I\u2019m fill-o . . . sloppy . . . cal.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou need coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou gonna show me how to do it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo what?<\/p>\n \u201cMake that horsey swill trailee stuff.\u00a0 Good stuff.\u00a0 Best I ever had.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou are definitely under the influence.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get your bedroll and you can sleep it off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot \u2018til I tell you somethin\u2019 important.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFences.\u00a0 You got to mend fences.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI finished last week, remember.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cApolly [hiccup] gize.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that kind of fence. \u00a0Don\u2019t worry. \u00a0I\u2019ll apologize to Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot Pa.\u00a0 Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cClay changed stuff for Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m oldest.\u201d\u00a0 Adam thumbed his chest.\u00a0 He tried to poke Joe, but kept missing. \u201cHold still.\u00a0 You\u2019re youngest.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s in the middle with Clay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t get it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss is your best friend.\u00a0 And Clay is your shiny new brother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, and you\u2019ve had too much pulque.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou tossed old Hossy bear into a trunk in order to make room for the shiny new red wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you . . . oh.\u00a0 I get it.\u00a0 I never meant to hurt either of you.\u00a0 Clay is my brother, but he is not more important to me than you and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss felt left out.\u00a0 He\u2019d never say, but he did.\u00a0 Now the wagon\u2019s gone and you [hiccup] you\u2019re going to pull the old bear out of the trunk as if nothing has changed.\u00a0 But it has, you know. He knows it and I know it. \u00a0How do you think he will feel?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe blinked several times, first while sorting out Adam\u2019s ramblings and then as understanding dawned.\u00a0 \u201cSecond best,\u201d he said sadly.<\/p>\n \u201cSo what are you going to do about the elephant in the room?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll take Hoss fishing and we\u2019ll talk it out.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make it right, Adam, you\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cS\u2019kay.\u00a0 Long\u2019s you [hiccup] do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, older brother,\u201d Joe said, throwing Adam\u2019s arm over his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get you home before Pa discovers the Plato of the Ponderosa is under the influence.\u201d<\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n Author\u2019s Notes:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cNo Man is an Island\u201d by John Donne, Meditation XVII.<\/p>\n \u201cThe elephant in the room\u201d a proverbial phrase dating to 1814, when Ivan Andreevich Krylov wrote a fable titled “The Inquisitive Man” which tells of a man who goes to a museum and notices all sorts of tiny things, but fails to notice an elephant.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Written for the 2017 Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament.<\/p>\n The words\/phrases dealt to me were:<\/p>\n mending<\/p>\n over a drink<\/p>\n when the mail came<\/p>\n twins<\/p>\n slump<\/p>\n