{"id":1473,"date":"2009-08-20T13:41:55","date_gmt":"2009-08-20T17:41:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1473"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:13:22","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:13:22","slug":"a-stitch-in-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1473","title":{"rendered":"A Stitch in Time (by the Giggly Sisters)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0<\/span>Ever wondered where all those cloths that miraculously appear to mop fevered brows actually come from?\u00a0 When Joe has another unfortunate accident, the Giggly Sisters reveal all.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+ \u00a0WC \u00a02150<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A Stitch in Time<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was another beautiful day on the Ponderosa, beginning with the traditional stock-shot of a sunrise. Mind you, as exactly the same shot was also used for sunsets, this could be a little confusing. And, to be perfectly honest, except for the odd winter-themed episode, most days on the Ponderosa were slightly tedious, meteorologically speaking, with endless sunshine and blue skies. The Cartwrights sat around the breakfast table, in their normal haphazard positions, except for Ben, who sat at the head of the table, effortlessly dominating the meal.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, girls,\u201d he beamed, as the Giggly Sisters came in. He effortlessly raised his voice another 100 decibels to bellow, \u201cHop Sing! More coffee! And a bowl of milk for the bear!\u201d Joe ducked as the prisms hanging from the standard lamp shattered into smithereens and large chunks flew by his left ear.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing came shuffling through at high speed. The wardrobe department seemed incapable of finding him a pair of shoes that fitted properly. The redhead was thrilled to note that there was now a sugar bowl to match the famous coffee pot (ghastly design, but guaranteed to keep coffee piping hot for hours on end) and wondered if there was a milk jug and slops bowl to complete the set. Paw was equally delighted and calmly abstracted a pawful of sugar lumps, which he crunched gleefully<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really frightfully busy this morning,\u201d Hop Sing explained, before beetling back into the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder what he\u2019s doing?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps he\u2019s refurbishing the family sling,\u201d suggested the redhead. Seeing the blank looks that greeted her, she decided to elaborate. \u201cYou know, the traditional black silk sling you all wear whenever you\u2019ve had an arm or shoulder injury.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt used to be one of my neckerchiefs, you know, \u201cBen confided. \u201cThen I decided black was a little draining on my complexion and that green or aubergine were more becoming.\u201d<\/p>\n

The sisters tried very hard not to look at one another, for they had noticed that, on occasions, Ben\u2019s neckerchiefs were abnormally long and would certainly provide more than enough material for a sling.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr perhaps he\u2019s hemming some more cloths for emergencies?\u201d the blonde ventured. \u201cYou know \u2013 for wiping down fevered bodies? I mean, judging by the size of the pile that dreadful Reardon girl was carrying in My Brother\u2019s<\/em> Keeper<\/em>, he must spend hours making them.\u201d<\/p>\n

The mention of Sheila Reardon made Joe choke slightly and he shot a baleful glare at Adam. He still had nightmares that she might have taken advantage of him, as he lay there helpless and delirious, left to her less-than-tender mercies as his brother discussed Thoreau.<\/p>\n

Ben gave a throaty chuckle, which caused Paw to give him a very suspicious look. \u201cWe\u2019ve certainly used enough of those cloths over the years, haven\u2019t we boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to mention them whole blankets you used on that poor horse in The<\/em> Friendship<\/em>, Joe,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n

Adam perked up at this. \u201cExactly where did you get those from, little brother?\u201d he enquired in silky tones. The only thing that betrayed his agitation was the fact that his wig moved back a good 2 inches.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, eh\u2026\u201d Joe began, floundering helplessly. He had no idea where they had come from; they were just there when he needed them.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be silly, Adam,\u201d said the redhead. \u201cHe got them from the credenza, like Ben did in The Last Viking<\/em>.\u201d She saw Hoss wince, as he always did when his Uncle Gunnar was mentioned, and she gave him a smile. She had never told Hoss that it was one of her favorite maimed Joe episodes. \u201cDid you know we actually call that item of furniture a sideboard in Scotland?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as he didn\u2019t strip them off the beds,\u201d Adam said, darkly, for he wasn\u2019t sure that he hadn\u2019t been cold every night since then.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe beds don\u2019t have blankets on them,\u201d the blonde pointed out innocently. \u201cThey have those horrid scabby candlewicks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what do you prefer?\u201d Adam asked, sarcastically.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, a downie, obviously,\u201d the redhead answered. \u201cLight-weight, warm and soft, what more do you need?\u201d<\/p>\n

Not having the least idea what a downie was, Ben decided to change the subject. \u201cWell, they certainly come in useful, those cloths,\u201d he said. \u201cIt might be nice if you girls helped Hop Sing out and stitched a few hems for him, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d the redhead replied. \u201cI don\u2019t do hems. Buttons are my limit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you do that wonderful cross stitch stuff every evening,\u201d Ben protested. He had watched her wedding sampler growing every day, and hoped to goodness it wasn\u2019t for one of his sons. He would hate to see all that hard work go to waste, as none of their girlfriends ever lived to reach the altar.<\/p>\n

\u201cCross-stitch isn\u2019t much good on hems,\u201d she replied composedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s great on t-shirts, though,\u201d Joe exclaimed and pulled up his usual tan shirt to reveal a black t-shirt with a tiger emblazoned on the front.<\/p>\n

\u201cBesides,\u201d added the blonde, \u201cWe\u2019re still not sure what material those cloths are made out of.\u201d She cast a hopeful look at Joe, but he stayed resolutely maim-free. \u201cI mean, if they were old bits of blanket, they\u2019d need to be blanket stitched. Stands to reason, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Cartwrights nodded weakly, stunned to silence by her remarkable logic. The arrival of Doctor Paul Martin provided a timely and welcome interlude.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is he the only doctor ever mentioned in fanfic?\u201d Joe asked in a penetrating whisper. Now Joe was stunningly good-looking, had hair to die for and a body that the Greek gods would have envied, but subtlety was somewhat of an unknown quantity to him. \u201cI mean, there are numerous doctors in the other episodes, but some strange reason, Paul\u2019s the only one anybody writes about. I can\u2019t understand it at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul gave a rather strained smile, while simultaneously hoping Joe\u2019s next accident would be very painful indeed. \u201cI\u2019ve just come to check out Buck.\u201d He tried to ignore the small bear sitting on Joe\u2019s knee and demolishing a plateful of kedgeree with evident relish. \u201cActing up again, is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Much as he hated to admit it, Ben found Buck a bit of a handful. The horse had a number of annoying habits, including turning 180 degrees whenever he attempted to mount and then taking several steps backwards. He\u2019d pleaded with the wranglers to replace the skittish creature, but they insisted the viewers would notice.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey never notice the 27 different Cochises!\u201d Joe had put in brightly, ducking neatly to avoid a large pitchfork that came singing through the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuck\u2019s certainly a lot livelier these days,\u201d Ben said cautiously. \u201cI think that last dose of long-acting, industrial-strength tranquillizer must be wearing off. Isn\u2019t there anything else you could try?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul rubbed his chin thoughtfully and tried to look as if he was concentrating very hard. Actually, he\u2019d missed most of his pharmacology course, due to his prowess in a rather interesting billiards championship and, as a result, he was never completely sure which drug did what. He much preferred to recommend his patients just got regular wipe-downs with cold, wet cloths instead. Well, it was cheap, the materials came readily to hand and it wasn\u2019t likely to do any harm.<\/p>\n

Being somewhat of an expert in stitching (after all, his patented suture technique ensured that Joe\u2019s golden-hued body remained scar-free after each unfortunate accident) he thought that Hop Sing probably used a rather lovely double-herringbone stitch to hem the cloths. Any more complicated work, such as invisibly mending bullet wounds in the back of a certain little green jacket was outsourced to number 3 cousin. Hop Sing took a cut of the fee and was currently investing in offshore bonds.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps I could try a lobotomy on Buck?\u201d Paul suggested tentatively, not entirely able to remember if the operation had been invented yet. He looked across at the script-girl, but she merely shrugged her shoulders. To the doctor\u2019s great relief, Ben vetoed that suggestion. They had enough problems with Buck\u2019s flyaway fringe, which normally had to be stuffed firmly under his brow band, without adding a scar to further complicate matters.<\/p>\n

Adam leant back in his chair and surveyed the scene with evident amusement, unaware that there was a clear dividing line between his real hair and his wig.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s your entry to the Women\u2019s Aid needlework show coming along, Paul?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Paul flushed and hoped that Adam would have a nasty accident, too! Preferably when he was too far away to call. All this time, and he had fondly believed that nobody knew he entered \u2013 and won \u2013 the needlework show in Virginia City every year.<\/p>\n

\u201cComing along,\u201d he answered, stiffly. \u201cIt\u2019ll be ready in plenty of time.\u201d He didn\u2019t point out that it was this very hobby, which had helped him create the patented suture he used on Joe. Lord forbid he ever left a scar on the lad. He\u2019d swiftly find himself relegated to the mists of time, and he lived in the hope that some enterprising publisher would discover the wonderful world of fanfic, and he would then earn repeat royalties for appearances. Gosh, in some stories, he made several appearances! Oh, the riches that awaited him\u2026<\/p>\n

His balloon was burst rather sharply when Ben said, \u201cWell, let\u2019s give Buck some more tranquillizer, and we\u2019ll let you get on with your paper round.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gnashing his teeth in frustration, for the paper round was the only thing that kept him from total poverty, Paul made a move to get his bag. He wondered if Joe or Adam might get a life-threatening maim before he left, so he could hold Ben to ransom over it.<\/p>\n

Adam rose, and Paul wondered what had happened to his supposedly bad back. Oblivious of the doctor\u2019s rancor, Adam went over to where the redhead had let her stitching the previous night. Adam\u2019s dislike of the redhead was no secret, but he saw a wonderful opportunity to get at Paul, through her.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is your chief rival for the blue ribbon,\u201d he said, and unfurled it. But before Paul could get a good look at the wonders before him, the unfeasibly large and lush flower arrangement on the sideboard toppled over and clonked Joe soundly on the head. The Giggly Sisters had often wondered who imported all those expensive lilies and roses up to Tahoe, and indeed who was the flower arranger, but with Joe bleeding all over the breakfast table, this did not quite seem the right time to ask. Paul grabbed the stitching firmly and clamped it to Joe\u2019s head, ignoring the gasps of horror from the redhead.<\/p>\n

He lifted up Joe\u2019s eyelid and gave a cursory glance at the pupil, wondering just what he was supposed to be looking for. \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine!\u201d Paul announced in hearty tones, pressing down firmly on Joe\u2019s head wound, as Hoss scampered around picking up the scattered blooms and making small whimpers of distress. \u201cGood thing I was on the spot, eh Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben bustled over and stroked Joe\u2019s head lovingly, while simultaneously shooting Paul a furious look. It was going to be jolly difficult to wriggle out of paying the bill this time. And yet \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019ve worked out what to do with Buck. Quite simple really. We\u2019ll just let Hoss ride him for a couple of days and he\u2019ll settle down nicely.\u201d Everyone could see the sense behind this and even imbecilic Buck, the dopiest horse in the Sierras, would soon realize which side his griddle scone was buttered on.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile. Joe was making piteous little moans, indicating that he was in dreadful pain and suffering bravely, but was being incredible brave and manly at the same time. No doubt his feet were twitching in a heart-melting way, but they were hidden by the red and white checked tablecloth that clashed brilliantly with the china, not to mention the entire Cartwright family.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019d better lie down, son,\u201d Ben stated. Joe\u2019s eyes flickered open and he cast a terrified look at the hideously uncomfortable sofa. He really hoped they wouldn\u2019t sling him on that, as he didn\u2019t need a crippled back to go along with a splitting headache.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll jist help him upstairs,\u201d Hoss said helpfully, mentally planning a nice bowl of hyacinths and freesias for the sickroom. Hoss Sing came out of the kitchen at top speed, carrying a pile of freshly laundered cloths. The blonde picked up the top one and studied it carefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cFeather stitch! Well, who would have thought of that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0Ever wondered where all those cloths that miraculously appear to mop fevered brows actually come from?\u00a0 When Joe has another unfortunate accident, the Giggly Sisters reveal all.<\/p>\n

Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a02150<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":423,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1535,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1535","url_meta":{"origin":1473,"position":0},"title":"In A Matter of Speaking (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The Giggly Sisters turn their inimitable eye on the patterns of speech found at the Ponderosa. Why does Hoss talk like that? Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01400","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Hoss-smile.jpg?fit=285%2C326&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1502,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1502","url_meta":{"origin":1473,"position":1},"title":"Changing Rooms (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0It's spring and the sap is rising. So naturally, the Cartwrights start to think about redecorating. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01750","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1570,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1570","url_meta":{"origin":1473,"position":2},"title":"Musical Chairs (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0A visit from Doc Martin causes Joe to question life on the Ponderosa. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a02000","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1588,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1588","url_meta":{"origin":1473,"position":3},"title":"Thanksgiving (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The lack of a turkey puts the Cartwright's Thanksgiving celebrations in jeopardy, but the Giggly Sisters help them to reflect on the true meaning of the day. Rated: T \u00a0WC 1700","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1523,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1523","url_meta":{"origin":1473,"position":4},"title":"Home Thoughts (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The Giggly Sisters cast their inimitable eye over some morning thoughts. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01500","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1552,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1552","url_meta":{"origin":1473,"position":5},"title":"Kidnapping the Brothers (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0In their 50th outing, the Giggly Sisters join forces with their friends from the BonanzainAussie board. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC 2400","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1473"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1473\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}