{"id":14919,"date":"2017-08-12T16:33:54","date_gmt":"2017-08-12T20:33:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14919"},"modified":"2026-06-24T15:15:03","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T19:15:03","slug":"ties-that-bind-by-jc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14919","title":{"rendered":"Ties That Bind (by JC)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/strong>An exploration of perhaps the most controversial subject in Bonanza fan fiction — what if Ben and Marie also had a daughter? But this is not a story about a Cartwright sister. \u00a0Though viewed through a different lens, it’s a story about a family we all know and love, whose relationships are tested and reaffirmed in the face of the inevitable. (First in a series)<\/p>\n

Rating: K+ \u00a0(27,784 words)<\/p>\n

Ties That Bind series<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ties That Bind<\/a>
\nImperfect Memory<\/a>
\nA Pearl Without Price<\/a>
\nA Piece of Cake<\/a>
\nSomething About Amy<\/a>
\nGuarding the Henhouse<\/a>
\nWhen Angels Cry<\/a>
\nNo Ordinary Day<\/a>
\nWinter of Discontent<\/a>
\nInterval<\/a>
\nNot to Me<\/a>
\nGently, Full of Grace <\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Author’s Note: \u00a0This story is an extensive revision of one first published in 2004. My sincere and everlasting thanks to Sandspur for doing the betas and holding my feet to the fire for the rewrite. \u00a0Thirteen years after the fact, \u00a0I wasn’t even sure I could get back into this world that had been silent for so long, but I couldn’t ignore the challenge. (Writers, you know what I mean.) \u00a0This version is the result of an older and, I hope, wiser perspective. \u00a0If you’ve made it this far, perhaps you can be persuaded to go a little further and step out of canon, just for a while. I promise you won’t find any Mary Sues, but you will definitely recognize the Cartwrights.<\/em><\/p>\n

I would also like to thank my faithful readers in the forum during the WIP phase. \u00a0You were a blessing to me, and you know who you are. \u00a0\ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TIES THAT BIND<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter One<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing<\/em><\/p>\n

Our helper He amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Eleven-year-old Jilly Cartwright fidgeted on the crowded pew, hemmed in on either side by the sturdy elbows of her father and oldest brother. \u00a0Stealing a glance over her shoulder at her brothers in the back of the room, she wished she could join them.\u00a0 Joe and Hoss had given their seats to the two women at the end of the row, and even Adam\u2019s robust baritone couldn\u2019t drown the shrill tones of the woman sitting next to him, who seemed intent on singing louder than anyone else in the congregation. \u00a0Joe pulled a mocking face that made Jilly giggle; Adam nudged her and directed her eyes back to the hymnal they shared.\u00a0 She made a mental note to ask him what a bulwark was, since he seemed to know everything else.<\/p>\n

The woman on Adam\u2019s left stared down her long nose at Jilly with piercing blue eyes and pursed lips that registered disapproval. Jilly didn\u2019t know who she was; there had been no time for introductions when she had bumped into the woman on the street, nearly knocking her over, just a hasty apology as she ran to rejoin her family before the service began. (The Cartwrights walked in together, on time\u2014that was the rule. Pa expected discipline in the ranks; stragglers arrived late at their own peril.)<\/p>\n

Jilly returned the woman\u2019s unsmiling gaze with an impassive expression.\u00a0 You don\u2019t even know me and you don\u2019t like me, but you sure like my brother, don\u2019t you?<\/em>\u00a0 That was plain in the silly way she smiled at him when he offered her his hymnal, but no surprise to Jilly. \u00a0Most women found Adam attractive and seemed to go out of their way to get his attention, which didn\u2019t seem to faze him. He was cordial to a fault but not easily impressed.\u00a0 This simpering beanpole could never expect more than a polite time of day from Adam Cartwright, and that thought gave Jilly more than a little satisfaction.<\/p>\n

Yes, Adam was handsome, though not in the same way as Joe\u2019s friend Mitch Devlin. In Jilly\u2019s view, Mitch was in a class all by himself\u2014flaxen-haired, blue-eyed, more muscular than Joe, and he had the nicest smile. \u00a0Adam was dark and handsome in the way her father was handsome, especially when they cleaned up. \u00a0Both of them turned out well in their Sunday clothes.<\/p>\n

Some people said they looked alike, Jilly and Adam\u2014Ben Cartwright\u2019s bookends, someone called them\u2014though she could never really see it. Her hair was lighter and not as curly, and her brown eyes were darker than Adam\u2019s, which reflected gold when they caught the sun.\u00a0 They did have the same cleft chin, but so did Joe, who everyone agreed looked like his mother. No one ever said Jilly looked like Marie, with good reason, she supposed.\u00a0 Marie Cartwright had been dead for nearly ten years but was still remembered for her beauty, among other things.\u00a0 Jilly didn\u2019t need a mirror to remind her she was not beautiful.\u00a0 (Dr. Martin had once told her she had beautiful teeth\u2014a small consolation. The only other thing about her face that truly pleased her was her petite nose.) \u00a0Beauty wasn\u2019t everything, her father once told her, and in the same breath he assured her she was a very pretty girl. Adam and Hoss had ventured the same opinion at one time or another, but everyone knows brothers don\u2019t count where compliments are concerned, and fathers even less.<\/p>\n

Joe never bothered with compliments; he was better with insults.\u00a0 He could be her best friend and worst enemy almost in the same breath.\u00a0 Jilly had grown up following him everywhere, but lately he seemed to be leaving her behind. At fourteen he was too interested in other girls to be any fun.\u00a0 At the last church picnic, he had promised to be her partner in the sack race (which they ended up missing because he spent so much time showing off for Anna Mae Shivers while she made cow eyes at him). Cow-eyed Anna Mae was just one of a gaggle of silly girls that lately followed Joe around, and he acted almost as silly as they did. It made Jilly want to throw up sometimes, but mostly she was hurt, much more hurt than she would ever let on, that he no longer seemed to have time for her.<\/p>\n

Jilly\u2019s mind continued its ramble far away from where the preacher droned above, until her eyelids got heavy and her head dropped against Adam\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 She roused to the sound of singing when he nudged her again.<\/p>\n

Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The congregation was on its feet for the closing hymn, one of her favorites, though marred by the strains emanating from Miss Longnose next to Adam. Jilly gave him a wary sidelong glance, and he winked at her, stifling a smile. \u201cJust sing,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

When we asunder part, it gives us inward pain, but we shall still be joined in heart and hope to meet again\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

As soon as the last \u2018amen\u2019 was uttered, Jilly slipped past her father and out the door to find Joe and Hoss.\u00a0 Mitch was there too, much to her delight, and his smile and friendly greeting made her heart dance a little.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see who was sitting next to Adam?\u201d Joe asked her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you must mean did I HEAR who was sitting next to Adam, and the answer is yes. I bet everyone else did too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know who she is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, should I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t, you will soon,\u201d said Joe, looking serious.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s the new schoolteacher.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re lying.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019m lyin\u2019 I\u2019m dyin\u2019. \u00a0Tell her, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the truth,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cShe and her mother just moved to town, accordin\u2019 to Sheriff Coffee. Her name\u2019s Abigail Jones.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you so much for the use of your hymnal.\u00a0 It was very gallant of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam proffered a gracious smile to the tall woman before him.\u00a0 \u201cNot at all, Miss..?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJones. \u00a0Abigail Jones.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, you\u2019re the new schoolteacher.\u00a0 I\u2019m Adam Cartwright, and this is my father.\u00a0 Pa, this is Miss Abigail Jones.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Jones,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, call me Abigail,\u201d she insisted with a smile, lowering her lashes and then raising them to meet Adam\u2019s eyes, not looking at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbby-gail, aren\u2019t you going to introduce your mother?\u201d asked the big-hatted woman next to her in a loud voice.<\/p>\n

Abigail\u2019s expression soured a little. \u201cOf course, Ma; I was just getting to that.\u00a0 This is my mother, Mrs. Winifred Nutley.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Nutley,\u201d both Adam and Ben acknowledged.<\/p>\n

\u201cCharmed to make your acquaintance, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d she beamed at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cWas that your daughter who just ran out of here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she\u2019s my youngest. I also have two other boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there a Mrs. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot for many years, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mrs. Nutley looked appropriately sympathetic though her tone remained cheerful. \u201cMy, but you must have had your hands full, raising them by yourself, you poor man.\u00a0 Abby-gail\u2019s father died when she was five, and that was hard enough before I married Mr. Nutley, God rest his soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam suppressed a smile at the thought of another widow sizing up her prospects in the form of his father. Not much chance there, though.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned his attention back to the schoolteacher, who all at once seemed very close.\u00a0 He involuntarily stepped back.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, how do you like Virginia City, Miss Jones?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbigail,\u201d she reminded him with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cI like it just fine so far, Adam\u2014may I call you Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course. When do you plan to start teaching?\u00a0 It\u2019s been six weeks since the last teacher left, so the children are anxious to get back to their studies.\u201d\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t entirely true; the parents were probably more anxious than the children.<\/p>\n

\u201cNext week. That will give me time to prepare the classroom and get more acquainted with the town and the people.\u00a0 If only I had someone to show me around\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She had moved in close again, smiling all the while. \u00a0Her owlish blue eyes were sizing him up as well, he decided. \u00a0He swallowed hard to try to relieve the sudden dryness in his mouth. \u201cUh, why don\u2019t I introduce you to some of your new students?\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re comin\u2019 this way,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe hates me, I tell you,\u201d said Jilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe doesn\u2019t even know you, Brainless. You\u2019re always so dramatic.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAm not!<\/p>\n

\u201cAre too!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHush up,\u201d said Hoss.\u00a0 He removed his hat as Pa and Adam approached with the ladies.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s someone here I\u2019d like for you all to meet,\u201d said Pa.\u00a0 \u201cThis is Miss Abigail Jones. She\u2019s going to be your new teacher.\u00a0 Oh, and this is her mother, Mrs. Nutley. Ladies, these are my sons Hoss and Joe, Joe\u2019s friend Mitch Devlin, and my daughter Jilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2014that\u2019s an unusual name,\u201d said Miss Jones.<\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cMy real name\u2019s Eric, Miss Abigail, but I\u2019ve been Hoss my whole life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u00a0 Will you be in my class too?\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed, \u201cOh, no ma\u2019am, not me.\u00a0 Just these three.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot me either,\u201d said Mitch. \u201cI\u2019m helpin\u2019 my Pa with the ranch now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyebrows shot up; he leveled a hard stare at Mitch, who merely shrugged. Jilly felt particularly chagrined.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, would that be short for Joseph?\u201d asked Miss Jones.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes ma\u2019am.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked glum.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what about Jilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJillian, but no one calls me that.\u201d It occurred to her that Miss Jones might not be fond of nicknames, but she intended to make herself clear on the subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot unless we have to,\u201d Adam volunteered with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joseph and Jillian, I look forward to having you in my class next week.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll get along famously.\u201d\u00a0 The smile that didn\u2019t quite reach her eyes blossomed when she turned to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019m so looking forward to having you show me around Virginia City this week, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

This time Adam\u2019s eyebrows shot up, but\u2014ever cordial\u2014he accepted the gloved hand, delicately cocked at the wrist, and assured her he would be delighted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Two<\/strong><\/p>\n

The next week passed largely without incident. Adam obligingly escorted Miss Jones and her mother on a tour of Virginia City and the environs, which included a visit to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Jilly found Mrs. Nutley to be a likable woman, even if she was a little loud. She had a naturally open and friendly face, as opposed to her daughter\u2019s, which sometimes looked like it was weaned on a pickle.\u00a0 Jilly marveled at the transformation in that pinched expression whenever Adam was around, and she almost felt sorry for Miss Jones, who had yet to learn the vanity of her efforts.<\/p>\n

Mitch\u2019s announcement that he would not be returning to school put a great big burr under Joe\u2019s saddle. He tried to convince Pa to let him do the same, but of course Pa would have none of it.\u00a0 Mitch was older anyway, and Joe would have to stay in school at least one more year.\u00a0 Jilly was more than thankful for her father\u2019s stubbornness in this case, but it left Joe in such a foul mood that he wasn\u2019t fit company for anyone except his horse for the next few days.<\/p>\n

Though still wary at the prospect of Miss Jones, Jilly was glad for school to resume because at least it would give her something to do. Apart from her few chores, there was little to fill her days while everyone else was working the ranch.\u00a0 And it was a working ranch, as they were quick to remind her.\u00a0 No one had time for fishing or picnicking when there were wells to be dug, horses to be broken and cattle to be branded. \u201cThis is a job for men,\u201d they would tell her, \u201cso be a good girl and stay out of the way.\u201d\u00a0 Maybe not in those exact words, but that was the message.\u00a0 Even Hop Sing didn\u2019t want her in the kitchen. (\u201cHer head in stars, not in flour,\u201d the cook had once complained to her father.) So Jilly did her chores and read the same books over and over and tried to be the good girl everyone expected her to be, but it was getting harder and harder. Sometimes, alone in her bed at night, at the end of a day that was no different from the one before or even the one before that, she wrestled with an emptiness so profound that she cried herself to sleep. It was nothing she could understand or explain, so she didn\u2019t try, and no one guessed.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly, for the love of Zachary Pete Taylor, will you please hurry up!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep your shirt on\u2014I\u2019m coming!\u201d<\/p>\n

He rolled his eyes and shed an exaggerated breath, but it was mostly for show, especially the entertainment of his older brothers. Truth was, Joe Cartwright didn\u2019t mind having a sister nearly as much as he sometimes let on.<\/p>\n

He was the baby for three years until she came along. He didn\u2019t remember much about that particular day, though he\u2019d heard the story enough times of how “Little Joe” was so excited about becoming a big brother and how he cried when Jilly turned out to be a girl. She surprised everyone by coming early, and the doctor wasn’t sure she would even live. Aside from worried faces and a lot of hushing and shushing, he mostly remembered that she was too little to be any fun and that he had to share his mother, who seemed sad even when she smiled. He wasn’t at all sure Jilly was worth it.<\/p>\n

Mama died before Jilly’s second birthday. By then he was pretty used to her. Everyone thought she was cute, and he supposed she was. She hardly ever cried, and she was the only one who seemed to be able to make Pa laugh in those days. \u00a0Joe used to think Jilly was lucky because she was too young to be sad remembering Mama, but later he decided he was the lucky one because not being able to remember would be even sadder.<\/p>\n

Adam left for college in Boston the next year. Joe missed him fiercely, but probably not as much as he might have if he hadn’t been so busy looking after Jilly. She followed him everywhere unless Hoss was around. She could be a pain in the neck sometimes, but having a younger sister really wasn’t so bad. It was kind of nice being looked up to when you’re only seven.<\/p>\n

He was fourteen now, fifteen by the end of the summer, old enough to quit school and work the ranch with Adam and Hoss. It rankled that Pa couldn\u2019t see that.\u00a0 \u201cAnother year of schooling won\u2019t hurt. You\u2019ve got a few things to learn yet,\u201d Pa told him.\u00a0 As far as Joe was concerned, next year couldn\u2019t come soon enough.<\/p>\n

Jilly met him in the yard where he was waiting with their horses. \u201cWhy are you in such an all-fired hurry today? Oh, let me guess\u2014Anna Mae Shivers.\u201d<\/p>\n

He ignored the face she made and smiled as he mounted. At least he had one consolation. \u201cWhy not?\u00a0 She is the prettiest girl in town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s dumb as a post,\u201d Jilly grumped, \u201cand if you only like her because she\u2019s pretty, then you deserve each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Abigail Jones woke with the sun and a throbbing headache on the first day of school.\u00a0 The annoying tickle in the back of her throat the day before had escalated to a worrisome cough that kept her up much of the night, as the dark circles under her eyes attested. This was not the start she envisioned.<\/p>\n

Abigail had never wanted to become a teacher in the first place.\u00a0 Like so many women her age with no marriage prospects, she had landed in the profession by default and with encouragement from her mother.\u00a0 It was also her mother who insisted she accept the job in Virginia City, and being a dutiful daughter, she agreed, though reluctantly.<\/p>\n

Upon arriving, Abigail found Virginia City to be precisely the dirty little mining town she had imagined, which gave her a smug satisfaction that her hesitation had been justified.\u00a0 However, her mother refused to waver in her belief that it was on the verge of a boom of astronomical proportions (as dear Mr. Nutley had predicted, God rest his soul) and would soon be teeming with eligible bachelors buoyed by newly minted fortunes.\u00a0 She loved her mother, but Winifred’s cockeyed optimism sometimes grated on Abigail\u2019s nerves\u2014especially in this case\u2014as she found nothing in their new home to warrant it.<\/p>\n

But that was before she met Adam Cartwright.<\/p>\n

Adam was handsome and chivalrous, cast in the same mold as Sir Walter Raleigh from Queen Elizabeth\u2019s court, with a voice that could put the angels to shame (she had heard it that first day in church when he had so gallantly loaned her his hymnal).\u00a0 Also, he was a scholar who could no doubt appreciate an educated woman (which put the odds in her favor, judging from the local citizenry). \u00a0Abigail had sensed their kinship from the beginning.<\/p>\n

Ma was more practical in her assessment of men. Good looks and fine manners might turn a woman\u2019s head but couldn\u2019t put a roof over it. There were plenty of educated, dulcet-toned scoundrels capable of sweeping a fair maiden off her feet (Abigail\u2019s father, the not-so-dear departed Mr. Jones, had been one, much to Winifred\u2019s dismay), but only one thing really mattered (well, two in this\u00a0case)\u2014the Cartwrights were people of property, and Adam was unattached.<\/p>\n

His courteous attentions coupled with an invitation to the Ponderosa bolstered Abigail\u2019s conviction that she and Adam were somehow destined for one another. It might take him a while to see that, but life had taught her patience if nothing else.\u00a0 In the meantime, they shared an inevitable and convenient bond through the two youngest Cartwrights in her classroom.<\/p>\n

Joseph was well aware of his good looks, but likable, with an easy charm, probably used to talking his way out of trouble. And he was bound to find it, if she was any judge.\u00a0 Jillian, on the other hand, was quieter; pretty when she smiled, which didn’t seem often. She had a disconcerting way of looking at a person, almost as though she could see through them.\u00a0 That first morning in church, Abigail shot her the practiced glare that had withered many an unruly pupil, yet the girl held her gaze without flinching, her face unreadable. Odd child, Cartwright or not. Still, she might prove helpful with the younger children.\u00a0 If Abigail\u2019s headache was any indication, she was going to need all the help she could get today.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Sheriff Coffee was at the school house when Joe and Jilly arrived.\u00a0 There were no other students in sight. \u201cBeen waitin\u2019 for you two,\u201d he greeted them with an air of impatience. \u201cNo school today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Abigail\u2019s puny. Her mother said she done lost her voice and can\u2019t croak more\u2019n a whisper.\u00a0 Everybody else has gone home so you young\u2019uns best do the same.\u00a0 I need to get on with my rounds.\u00a0 Give my regards to your Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly could hardly contain her disappointment. \u201cIt looks like we rode out here for nothing. I guess we\u2019d better go home like the sheriff said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot necessarily,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have the whole day to ourselves. If we go home we\u2019ll just have to do chores.\u00a0 Is that what you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we don\u2019t go home, where would we go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe could ride out to the lake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u00a0 I mean, won\u2019t Pa be mad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s not home, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Adam then\u2014and you know how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but what older brother doesn\u2019t know won\u2019t hurt him. We\u2019ll be home in plenty of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut isn\u2019t that kind of like lying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot unless somebody asks, Brainless.\u00a0 Now we can ride out to the lake and have a picnic on one of the prettiest days of the year, but if you want, we can just go home. I\u2019m sure Adam will find plenty of work for both of us. It\u2019s your choice; which would you rather do?\u201d<\/p>\n

The choice wasn\u2019t up for debate; they both knew the answer before he even posed the question.\u00a0 Joe had an uncanny talent for getting what he wanted. She had followed him everywhere all of her life and saw no reason to stop now.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

When Joe mentioned the lake, Jilly knew exactly where they would end up.\u00a0 She suspected it was where he went those days he was off riding by himself, sulking about Mitch, throwing a cold shoulder to the rest of them. No one seemed too concerned; that was just Joe working his way back to himself.<\/p>\n

He crouched next to the headstone and rested his hand on top while she watched from a distance. He came here more often than anyone, she supposed. Jilly envied him for being able to love and remember their mother, because to her Marie Cartwright was hardly more than a picture in a frame and a name on a marker; they were bound by blood but nothing more.\u00a0 She sometimes felt guilty over her indifference, but how can you love someone you never knew?<\/p>\n

She waited until he stood up, and then she joined him in respectful silence, lingering only briefly after he walked away.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she whispered, but only the wind heard.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

By the time they finished their lunch, Jilly had forgotten her earlier reservations about not going home. Joe was right about one thing\u2014it was a beautiful day.\u00a0 Too beautiful to be cooped up in a school room; it was the kind of day she wished could go on forever.<\/p>\n

Joe was cheerful and talkative.\u00a0 Maybe it was because there was no one else around for him to impress, but when it was just the two of them he was more like the brother she grew up with, the one who shared her secrets, the one she had worshiped from the time she was old enough to take notice of another person in the world.\u00a0 Of course, she\u2019d never admit that to him.\u00a0 His head was already big enough most of the time. She could understand why the girls liked him, though she still couldn\u2019t see what was so special about Anna Mae Shivers.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really think Anna Mae is the prettiest girl in town?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked amused.\u00a0 \u201cWhat brought that on? I thought we were talkin\u2019 about Miss Jones.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I just wondered. You used to say the same thing about Connie McKee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Connie\u2019s not here anymore. \u00a0I guess she’s having the time of her life at that school back East.\u201d<\/p>\n

Connie was nearly the same age as Joe, lively and smart.\u00a0 And she was a lot nicer than Anna Mae, who was dull and snooty, in Jilly\u2019s opinion.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI miss her, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess,\u201d he murmured, looking away.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I could be pretty, I\u2019d rather look like Connie. She\u2019s much prettier than Anna Mae, if you ask me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe frowned at her.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with the way you look. Heck, Mitch even thinks you\u2019re kind of pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t volunteer the fact that she had been thinking of Mitch all morning, and the mention of his name made her insides quiver. \u201cDid he tell you that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe might have,\u201d Joe shrugged; his expression noncommittal.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Brainless; time to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

She put her hands on her hips and scowled. \u201cI don\u2019t know why you keep calling me that, but I don\u2019t like it and I wish you would stop.\u00a0 There\u2019s no one else around to hear you anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked amused again. \u201cYou want to know why? Okay, I\u2019ll tell you.\u00a0 It\u2019s because you don\u2019t even know how smart you are.\u00a0 Maybe one day you\u2019ll figure it out, and then I won\u2019t have to call you that anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Three<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was an accident, Joe reminded himself afterwards.\u00a0 It could have happened to anyone.<\/p>\n

As usual he gave Jilly a head start in the race, just to make it close, but she was quicker this time.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to push to catch her before the creek. No problem there; besides, he always loved the chase.<\/p>\n

The creek was coming up fast and she was just ahead of him with no sign of slowing. He had jumped it before but she never had. \u00a0Jilly, what are you doing? Are you crazy?<\/em>\u00a0 He swallowed his natural inclination to sprint past her and pulled up, hoping she would do the same.<\/p>\n

She didn’t.<\/p>\n

His heart slid back down from his throat when she landed on the other side. \u00a0\u201cWoo-hoo! Atta girl!\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned and waved.\u00a0 \u201cWell, aren\u2019t you coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe circled his pony back to gain the length he needed, jumping near the spot where she had crossed the swollen creek.\u00a0 He cleared it easily, but his paint stumbled to gain footing in the soft bank. \u00a0All his efforts were focused on trying to stay in the saddle and out of the water, so he didn\u2019t see Jilly\u2019s predicament.<\/p>\n

Something spooked her horse, and she lost the reins.\u00a0 By the time Joe was firmly on solid ground she was in the mud. She looked too mad to be hurt, and he almost laughed as he dismounted to help her.<\/p>\n

As she was getting to her feet she slipped and slid toward the creek; suddenly things weren\u2019t so funny anymore. He managed to grab her before she went in. The way it was moving, she would have gone with it.<\/p>\n

From a safe distance, they watched the bank where they had just been standing collapse into the rushing water.\u00a0 Jilly dropped to the ground with her head in her hand.\u00a0 Joe sagged next to her, contemplating what almost happened as he caught his breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess so.\u201d She looked at her hand. \u201cI think my head is bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me see.\u00a0 Yeah, it\u2019s bleedin\u2019 all right.\u201d \u00a0The gash was near the hairline, not too deep but oozing considerably. A blue lump protruded above her right eyebrow, and an angry splotch on her cheek marked the beginning of a bruise.<\/p>\n

\u201cOw, quit poking.\u201d She pulled away from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to clean it.\u00a0 Give me your bandana.\u201d\u00a0 He retrieved his canteen from his horse and soaked the cloth.\u00a0 \u201cHold still.\u201d<\/p>\n

She winced as he dabbed at the cut.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry.\u00a0 Say, when did you learn to jump like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know; I just did it. Guess it wasn\u2019t such a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure you\u2019re not hurt anywhere else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so. I\u2019m a mess, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you are.\u201d He handed her the bandana.\u00a0 \u201cKeep pressure on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s gonna know we weren\u2019t in school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust let me do the talkin\u2019 when we get home. If we\u2019re lucky he won\u2019t be around and you can at least get cleaned up before he sees you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She made a face and spat on the ground.\u00a0 \u201cI have a feeling we might\u2019ve used up our luck for today.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Hoss emerged from the loft as Adam led Sport into the barn.\u00a0 \u201cThought I heard you ride up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam noted the empty stalls where the two ponies were normally stabled.\u00a0 \u201cI see they\u2019re not back yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I don\u2019t reckon they\u2019ve had time to get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think they\u2019ve had plenty of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I wouldn\u2019t worry, Adam. I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll be along. Maybe Miss Abigail kept Joe after school,\u201d Hoss chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you so sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ran into Roy while I was out.\u00a0 He said there was no school today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Abigail is sick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh. Wonder why they didn\u2019t come on home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not hard to figure, is it? \u00a0I just wonder what they\u2019ve been up to all day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nearly an hour passed before Adam had the chance to find out, and by then he was beyond annoyed. \u00a0He and Hoss were on the porch when they arrived looking like drag riders at the end of a hundred-mile cattle drive.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou two are a little late, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe took the long way home,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

Jilly kept her head down and said nothing as she slid off her pony and ducked into the barn with him. \u00a0Joe quickly followed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were right. They\u2019re up to somethin\u2019,\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s give \u2018em a little rope and see how long it takes before they hang themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

They joined the errant pair in the barn.\u00a0 \u201cSo,\u201d Adam began, \u201chow were things in town on this fine first day of school?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

“Anything exciting happen at school today?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head slowly. \u00a0\u201cNo\u2026not really\u2026hardly anything happened at school, actually.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly coughed but otherwise remained silent with her back to them while she brushed her pony.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow was Miss Abigail?\u201d Hoss winked at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI know she was excited about today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, um\u2026Miss Abigail was kinda puny today.\u00a0 In fact, she could hardly croak more than a whisper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a shame.\u00a0 Did you hear that, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Hoss\u2014I did hear that, from Sheriff Coffee as a matter of fact. I meant to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome to think of it, you did mention it.\u00a0 Guess I just forgot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I ran into Roy by chance while I was out this morning. \u00a0Jilly, you\u2019ve been mighty quiet.\u00a0 Do you have anything you\u2019d like to tell us?\u201d<\/p>\n

She averted his gaze. \u201cNot right now. I need to go to the outhouse.\u201d<\/p>\n

At Adam\u2019s nudging, Hoss blocked her path when she tried to edge past him.\u00a0 \u201cHold on, Little Bit.\u201d His amiable tone changed when he turned her around.\u00a0 \u201cHey, what happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam lifted her chin and brushed her hair away from her face to get a good look. \u201cWhat in the world\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nothing. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was dried blood on her forehead, her cheek was bruised and her left eye was nearly swollen shut.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t call it nothing. \u00a0All right, let\u2019s cut out the games. \u00a0I want answers from both of you. We all know you weren\u2019t in school, so where have you been and how did this happen?\u00a0 You first, Jilly. And don\u2019t look at Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked miserable and wretched.\u00a0 \u201cWe were just riding.\u00a0 I fell in the mud.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam waited for the rest but she offered nothing more. \u201cJust riding, huh? Well, I\u2019m sure there\u2019s more to it than that,\u201d he frowned. \u201cYou\u2019d better be glad Pa\u2019s not here right now.\u00a0 He\u2019d have a fit seeing you like this. We need to get your face cleaned up and see what we can do about it, although my guess is that it\u2019ll probably look worse tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can take care of myself.\u201d\u00a0 She shrugged away from him. \u201cAnd if you want to punish me, that\u2019s fine, but you\u2019ll have to do it later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go far. I\u2019m not through with you,\u201d he called after her. \u201cAll right, Joe. What\u2019s the story? I want details.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe made no attempt to hide his irritation. \u201cWe rode out to the lake, had lunch, rode some more after that, and she fell in the mud. Then we started back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt took you long enough to get home.\u00a0 Where were you when it happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMason\u2019s Creek.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMason\u2019s Creek?\u201d Hoss frowned. \u201cI was out there the other day and it was higher than I\u2019ve ever seen it.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t even find a good place to cross.\u00a0 I hope you weren\u2019t fool enough to try to jump it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t planning on it, but that\u2019s how it turned out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re not saying she fell trying to follow you across that creek.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo Adam, I\u2019m not saying that. The truth is, I followed her across, and she was standing still when she fell. Brownie got spooked and took off right out from under her. It could have happened to anybody. Heck, I\u2019ve had my share of falls\u2014I\u2019ll probably have a lot more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell she\u2019s not you, Joe\u2014thank goodness\u2014and that\u2019s the point.\u00a0 But she wants to do everything you do, and you don\u2019t do anything to discourage her. You shouldn\u2019t have been anywhere near that creek in the first place, and you should never have tried to jump it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you it was her idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she seems to get most of her ideas from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stuck out his chin, his mouth set in a firm line. \u201cI don\u2019t know what you expect from me, Adam. It\u2019s not my fault. She does what she wants to do, when she has the chance. I would too if I was her. Try givin\u2019 a person a little credit once in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means you\u2019re makin\u2019 a mountain out of a molehill, just like always.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need your sass, boy. Remember who you\u2019re talkin\u2019 to, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I forget when you\u2019re always remindin\u2019 me, older brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam forced his voice to remain calm even though Joe was straining his last nerve. \u201cWell, let me remind you of something else.\u00a0 You\u2019re supposed to be looking out for her, not leading her off into danger. Why don\u2019t you try thinking of someone besides yourself for a change?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe balled his fists at his side. \u201cI\u2019ve spent practically my whole life looking out for her, including all those years you were in Boston. I think I know how to take care of my sister; but then again maybe not, because Adam always knows best, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stepped between them.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s enough, Joe.\u00a0 You go on to the house and check on her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glared at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI was just about to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna have to fight that kid one of these days,\u201d Adam frowned, watching Joe storm away. \u201cYou wait and see.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna push it just that far because that\u2019s what he wants.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cProbably so, but he ain\u2019t ready yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but he acts like he thinks he is. You better talk some sense into him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you\u2014you\u2019re the one he listens to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, I don\u2019t know about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure you are, and it\u2019s always been that way. Besides, you\u2019ve earned the right to tell him a thing or two. You\u2019ve certainly gotten an earful from him through the years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I reckon that\u2019s true. He\u2019s been jawin\u2019 at me since he was knee high to a grasshopper. Adam, don\u2019t take what he said too personal. He didn\u2019t really mean it; little brother\u2019s just feelin\u2019 his oats.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he meant it, but I\u2019m not taking it personally. You\u2019re right, he is feeling his oats, and still mad because Pa wouldn\u2019t let him quit school. It\u2019s a good thing for us, though. I can\u2019t imagine having him around here all day, every day.\u00a0 He\u2019d think he was boss by the end of the week. I\u2019d have to take him down a notch for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, little big man,\u201d Hoss chuckled.\u00a0 He\u2019ll grow into himself one of these days, though, and then watch out; he might take you down a notch.\u201d<\/p>\n

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.\u00a0 Joe might have gotten a little testy lately but it was nothing they couldn\u2019t handle, knowing him well. Their younger brother was an open book. He wore his emotions on his face and his heart on his sleeve\u2014quick to anger and just as quick to forgive.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, do you think I\u2019m makin\u2019 a mountain out of a molehill?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t like it any more than you do. But like Joe said, it was an accident and coulda happened to anybody.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJumping that creek was no accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least she made it. I sure hate to think about what coulda happened if she hadn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish she’d never tried it. Now she has one more reason to think she can do anything, just like Joe; just like\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say it, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly, it\u2019s hard not to draw the comparison sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anyone who saw Joe ride might think he was born in the saddle.\u00a0 His inherent ability and impetuous nature had melded into a cocksureness that sometimes made him as wild as the wind, and just as unpredictable.\u00a0 Like his mother. \u00a0Marie had been a fearless and formidable horsewoman; Adam was fifteen before he even came close to beating her. She left a burning trail in her wake, always a length ahead of the fire, until the day it finally caught up with her. People always said she would break her neck on that horse. They were right.<\/p>\n

But you can\u2019t keep people from doing what comes naturally any more than you can stop time. Adam knew that as sure as he knew anything. Your best hope is that they will pay attention to the lessons of history\u2014and when they don\u2019t, you pray for grace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Four <\/strong><\/p>\n

Jilly pushed her food around her plate during supper because her stomach rebelled at the thought of putting anything into it. Hop Sing had cleaned the cut above her eye and dressed it with honey, but it still throbbed in tandem with the hammering in her head which had escalated on the ride home.\u00a0 A bath had afforded only temporary comfort. \u00a0Joe was mostly silent, and judging from the way he was sulking, she imagined he\u2019d already had his ears burned by Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam wasn\u2019t finished with either one of them, but he was taking his sweet time.\u00a0 Maybe that was part of their punishment. Jilly wished he would just get it over with so she could go to bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure how long Miss Abigail will be indisposed, but you two will be staying around here the next few days regardless. There\u2019s plenty of work you can help with, Joe.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got that new string of horses\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s sour mood lifted, but only for an instant.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026and since Hoss and I will both be tied up with that, you can start digging the new outhouse tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly coughed and put her hand over her mouth, earning Joe’s green-eyed glare from across the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that funny?\u201d Adam asked her.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d It wasn\u2019t funny at all.\u00a0\u00a0 Her stomach was quite clear on the matter.\u00a0 \u201cExcuse me.\u201d<\/p>\n

She bolted from the table, through the kitchen and out the back door where she promptly threw up.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing was behind her, holding her hair, and afterwards he sat her down on the steps with a wet cloth.\u00a0 Adam sat down beside her and put his hand on her back.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it your head?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded with her face buried in the cloth. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s a little better now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs strange as it may seem, sometimes that does help. Are you all done?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded again.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay then. Let\u2019s get you up to bed. I think you\u2019ve have enough of today.\u201d<\/p>\n

With Adam\u2019s help she made it up the stairs, declining his offer to carry her even though her legs felt like rubber.\u00a0 If Hoss and Joe hadn\u2019t been watching she might have accepted, but she had already made a spectacle of herself and had no wish for further attention. She got into her nightgown and into bed in hopes of putting the day behind her as quickly as possible.<\/p>\n

There was a knock on her door few minutes later and Joe poked his head in. \u201cYou still awake?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s your head? Hurt much?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not too bad.\u201d Actually, it was pounding again but she didn\u2019t want to be a whiner. Her brothers had all had worse injuries at one time or another.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I just wanted to see how you were feeling and say goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCould you stay for a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d\u00a0 He sat on the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry you have to dig the outhouse.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged and made a face. \u201cNo big deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWere you scared today? At the creek, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

His expression grew serious as his eyes met hers. \u201cA little.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too.\u00a0 I knew you wouldn\u2019t let me go, but for a minute I thought we were both going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s how it would\u2019ve been, because if you go, I go. That\u2019s how it is, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

There he was, for the second time that day, the Joe she knew so well. Underneath the bravado and the wisecracks, he was still unabashedly her hero. And she loved him so. Without words to tell him, she simply threw her arms around him, squeezing her eyes shut to force back the tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d better let you get some sleep,\u201d he said, rising from the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Mitch really say that\u2014about me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, that you\u2019re pretty?\u00a0 Yeah. But you\u2019d better not let him see you now or he might take it back.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned and ducked through the door as she tossed her pillow at him.\u00a0 \u201c\u2019Night, Jilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

On his way downstairs Joe met Adam on his way up with a tray.\u00a0 \u201cIs she still awake?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neither of them said anything further as they passed each other.\u00a0 Joe figured there had been too many words between them already. Besides, he really wanted to talk to Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, have you got a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss put down his book.\u00a0 \u201cSure, what\u2019s on your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t exactly tell the whole story about what happened today, and I really need to tell somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sorta figured that, since it was pretty short, all things considered. How \u2018bout you sit down and tell me\u2014exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sat down across from him and recounted the events at the creek\u2014how he barely had time to grab Jilly as she slid toward the water, how he wasn\u2019t sure he could hold her, how the bank where they had been standing only seconds before collapsed in front of them. He finished with a shuddering breath and the realization of how easily they could have both been swept away. \u201cWe should never have been there, and it\u2019s my fault that we were.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, and I\u2019m glad you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI still don\u2019t know how we didn\u2019t wind up in that creek, because for a second I thought we were both goners.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I always kinda figured you had a guardian angel lookin\u2019 out for you.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss leaned over and thumped him on the head. \u201cBut quit pushin\u2019 your luck!\u201d<\/p>\n

They both laughed, and Joe stood up.\u00a0 \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you gonna tell Adam?\u00a0 I mean, does he really need to know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss frowned and didn\u2019t answer right away. \u201cI won\u2019t tell him,\u201d he finally said, \u201con one condition. You apologize to him.\u00a0 You had no call to speak to him like you did today.\u00a0 He deserves your respect, not your lip.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe answered with a crooked grin. \u201cI know. I was planning on doing that anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Jilly\u2019s door was open when Adam went up with the tray of tea and broth. \u201cRoom service,\u201d he announced, \u201csomething to settle your stomach and help you sleep, according to Hop Sing. How are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n

She acknowledged him with a thin smile as he set the tray in front of her.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHead still hurting?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA little.\u201d<\/p>\n

He lowered himself into the chair next to the bed.\u00a0 \u201cYou got quite a bump today.\u00a0 Drink the tea; it should help.\u201d<\/p>\n

She took a swallow and made a face.\u00a0 \u201cThis tastes awful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s how it is sometimes with things that are good for us. They\u2019re bitter at first; not what we want but what we need.\u00a0 Sip it\u2014it won\u2019t be so bad after you get used to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you mad at me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I look mad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you are a little frowny.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mean to be. It just hurts me to look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She lowered her head when she answered, \u201cThen don\u2019t look.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a hard habit to break.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen is Pa coming home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a couple of days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t keep it from him. He\u2019ll take one look at you and demand a full accounting, so be prepared.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed and her shoulders sagged a little. \u201cAre you going to punish me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m pretty sure I know who the real culprit is, and you\u2019ve already gotten the worse end of the deal.\u00a0 Besides, I don\u2019t think you\u2019re in any shape to help Joe dig the outhouse.\u201d\u00a0 Not that he would expect that from her.<\/p>\n

She looked up. \u201cAdam, please don\u2019t be too mad at him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you think that\u2019s why I\u2019m punishing him, you\u2019re wrong, Jilly. I\u2019m trying to teach him a lesson, and I want it to stick. It\u2019s for his own good, believe me. Drink your tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

She took another sip and wrinkled her nose.<\/p>\n

He rested his chin in his hand,remembering his homecoming from college. She wouldn\u2019t look at him at first, even after he coaxed her away from Hoss.\u00a0 She was only two when he left, and when he came back it nearly broke his heart seeing how much of her young life he had missed. Joe\u2019s too, but at least he hadn\u2019t forgotten him. To Jilly he was hardly more than a stranger. Pa, Hoss and Joe had been her world, with Joe at the center.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, I know how it is with you two, and I know how persuasive Joe can be; when he says frog, you jump. But it doesn\u2019t always have to be that way. You could say no sometimes.\u00a0 In fact you should, for both your sakes. He might actually listen to you if you put your foot down once in a while.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re capable of that, and you\u2019ve got a good head on your shoulders\u2014don\u2019t be afraid to use it. It might save you both a world of hurt.\u201d And the rest of us too, he thought.\u00a0 He intended to make one thing clear. \u201cJilly, I saw man and a horse drown in a creek like that. It\u2019s something I won\u2019t forget.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never know how lucky you were today. Next time you might not be. Do you understand what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

From the look on her face he knew he\u2019d struck a nerve. That\u2019s what he had hoped, but it surprised him to see her close to tears. \u201cCheer up, Brown Eyes. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you\u2019re safe and sound,\u201d he reassured her. He stood up and planted a kiss on the top of her head. \u201cLeave the tray on the table when you\u2019re done; I\u2019ll get it later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was waiting for him when he went downstairs.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I want to apologize for what I said today.\u00a0 I was disrespectful, and I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled as he accepted the offered handshake before pulling his young brother into an embrace, ruffling his hair. \u201cYou\u2019d better get to bed yourself. You\u2019ve got a busy day ahead of you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m on my way,\u201d he promised. \u201cG\u2019night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGoodnight, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam watched him bound up the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned over the top of his book.\u00a0 \u201cI like it just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Five<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright unfolded his six-foot frame from the cramped coach and onto the main street of Virginia City two days later than he had planned.\u00a0 Muddy roads and a broken wheel had wreaked havoc for the stage line on the way from Sacramento, compounded by a thunderstorm necessitating an unscheduled stop at the way station near Placerville. The twinge in his back was an unfriendly reminder of a restless night on the unforgiving plank floor, padded only by a worn-out bedroll and his valise for a pillow.<\/p>\n

He looked around, disappointed there was no one to meet him. \u00a0Not that he expected it, considering the delay and uncertainty of his actual arrival, but he was disappointed all the same.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to rent transportation from the livery, but perhaps first a meal at the International House. Or maybe he should just go home, have a bath and crawl into bed. Weary and weighing his options, he was unprepared for the voice behind him calling his name.<\/p>\n

Winifred Nutley\u2019s beaming visage greeted him when he turned. \u00a0\u201cMr. Cartwright, how lovely to see you again. I heard you\u2019ve been traveling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood afternoon, Mrs. Nutley. Yes, I just returned from Sacramento. \u00a0I was supposed to be back earlier in the week but I was delayed. As you can imagine, I\u2019m very anxious to get home.\u201d \u00a0He hoped she would take the hint.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019m sure you\u2019re anxious to see your family, especially your poor daughter.\u00a0 When Abigail and I heard about her terrible accident we were so concerned.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat terrible accident?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you\u2019ve been away, but I thought surely they must\u2019ve gotten word to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mrs. Nutley. What terrible accident?\u2019 Ben\u2019s alarm was growing. What could have happened?<\/p>\n

\u201cApparently she went riding with your young son and was thrown from her horse.\u00a0 Took a nasty blow to the head and nearly broke her neck, poor little dear,\u201d she replied, shaking her head in sympathy. \u201cThe last we heard she didn\u2019t even have the strength to get out of bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMerciful heavens!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but you mustn\u2019t worry, Mr. Cartwright. I\u2019m sure your sons are taking good care of her. The doctor told Abigail he\u2019s sure she\u2019ll come out all right eventually, though he couldn\u2019t say when she\u2019ll be back in school.\u00a0 She\u2019s missed the whole week already.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you excuse me, Mrs. Nutley?\u00a0 I really must get home, you understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart pounded in his throat as he started toward the livery. The memory of Marie\u2019s death had faded from a choking nightmare to a specter on the horizon over the years, but at that moment it roared back to life. \u00a0Joe was the one he\u2019d always worried about most; Jilly seemed more cautious, but perhaps that was only in the light of Joe\u2019s recklessness. As they grew older, he had allowed himself to become complacent without even realizing it. He had taken too much for granted, especially where she was concerned.<\/p>\n

Halfway to the livery he changed his mind and started toward Dr. Martin\u2019s house instead. He didn\u2019t know why it hadn\u2019t occurred to him before. He\u2019d get answers from Paul. At least he would know something before he got home.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, the good doctor was out. Ben heaved a sigh and began retracing his steps when he heard another voice calling him.\u00a0 Relieved, he turned to see his middle son crossing the street toward him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy, Pa, welcome back. Sorry I didn\u2019t meet you at the stage. It came in while I was pickin\u2019 up supplies. The wagon\u2019s over behind Cass\u2019s store.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reassured by Hoss\u2019s usual cheerful demeanor, Ben relaxed a little. \u201cNever mind about that.\u00a0 I want to know about Jilly.\u00a0 How is she?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked surprised.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019d you know about that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Nutley told me. She said Paul told Abigail she was recovering but didn\u2019t know when she\u2019d be back in school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she\u2019s gonna be fine now, so don\u2019t you worry.\u00a0 Doc Martin saw her this morning and said it\u2019s definitely not scarlet fever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u00a0 Mrs. Nutley said she was thrown off her horse and almost broke her neck!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, well yeah\u2026she did take a tumble, but that was before. And Pa, it ain\u2019t like you\u2019re thinkin\u2019. She did get a bump on her head, but nothin\u2019 for you to worry about. I reckon she was comin\u2019 down with somethin\u2019 even before that. That\u2019s the reason she\u2019s been puny this week. I was gonna tell you all about it on the ride home. I\u2019m sorry you had to hear it the way you did.\u00a0 Must\u2019ve been awful worrisome.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes of course it was, though all\u2019s well that ends well I suppose.\u201d\u00a0 The tension ebbed from his shoulders with a long sigh. \u201cSounds like it\u2019s been a trying week for all of us.\u00a0 I certainly will be glad to get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s fixin\u2019 roast pork for supper. I can taste it now,\u201d Hoss grinned, licking his lips in anticipation.<\/p>\n

Nightmare abated, Ben smiled at his predictable, reliable, easy-going second son. He climbed into wagon seat next to him, thankful and a little less weary, and a single thought came to him:<\/p>\n

My cup runneth over<\/em>.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

The days following Jilly\u2019s accident blurred in her mind, but it was only because of the fever. She remembered getting out of bed that first night, at least trying, and the next thing she knew Adam was scooping her up from the floor. His voice sounded like a hundred bees inside her head; she couldn\u2019t understand was he was saying. After that, the world became jigsaw pieces of shadow and sound. Hot became cold and day became night. Hands pushed and pulled her as the bees droned in her head, and dark water swirled at her feet. She was shaking so hard she thought her teeth would fall out. Someone called her from far away but she couldn\u2019t answer. She didn\u2019t even have the strength to open her eyes.<\/p>\n

When she did open them, it was to a light, cool touch on her forehead, and Mrs. Shaughnessy was there; dear Mrs. Shaughnessy who had helped to take care of her ever since her mother died, whenever she needed her.\u00a0 Something in the way she smiled at Jilly made her want to cry, but not because she was sad. The bees and the shadows and the dark water were gone, replaced by the woman’s cheerful prattle, the dapple of sunlight through the lace curtains, and the scent of lavender in the fresh gown she pulled over her head.<\/p>\n

Dr. Martin came again, the second time (Jilly didn\u2019t remember the first) and seemed well pleased with her recovery.\u00a0 He told her she could sit up for a while, as long as she didn\u2019t overdo it. She was up and dressed when Pa arrived later that afternoon.<\/p>\n

She expected him to frown and scold or at least ask questions when he tilted her chin up to study her face. Adam had warned her to be prepared. But Pa did neither.\u00a0 He just smiled, a little sadly she thought, before asking, \u201cHow\u2019s my best girl?\u201d \u00a0The look in his eyes made her heart a puddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Pa,\u201d she assured him, checking her tears.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hugged her for a long time without saying anything. She breathed in a memory of when she was little, and amid those strong arms she realized how much she had missed him.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Ben brushed the back of his hand against Jilly\u2019s cheek as she slept that evening. It was cool, just as it had been both times before when he\u2019d checked. Adam had assured him it wasn\u2019t necessary, but old habits die hard. The bruises on her face had faded to mostly yellow tinged in purple, a sign of healing; with luck the cut above her eye wouldn\u2019t scar. Satisfied once more, he kissed her goodnight and retired to his room.\u00a0 After a week away, it was good to be home, to finally climb into his own bed.\u00a0 His own, empty bed.<\/p>\n

He frowned at the ceiling as sleep danced away from him. His conversation with Mrs. Nutley that afternoon had conjured the spirit of his last dead wife with such force that even now she was close enough to keep him awake.\u00a0 There were still times when he missed her deeply.<\/p>\n

In those days, weeks and months after her death, she came to him in dreams so vivid it was a nightmare waking to find her gone. He could feel her body pressed against him in the dark, the scent of lilac on the pillow where she laid her head, stirring the aching love they shared on so many nights.<\/p>\n

He had loved, married and buried three women, all so very different. Elizabeth had been a snug harbor to a sailor newly home from sea. A captain\u2019s daughter, her engaging smile and quick-witted charm captivated him the first day they met. He pledged her a lifetime, but they had less than a year together, just enough time for her to present him with his first-born son. She died the next day.\u00a0 With a warm spot in his broken heart, he headed west to fulfill his promise, the realization of their shared dream. He had no idea how difficult it would be; if he had, it’s likely he would never have started.<\/p>\n

Inger was a port in the storm for a poor, wayfaring stranger.\u00a0 Her unconditional kindness was a lifeline for a drowning man, a widower with a sick boy, a man running out of options and faith. She was truly a breath of clean air for one who had been shut up inside himself for so long, and with her patient, gentle ways she taught him how to love again. He was surprised at how easy it was and how right it felt. And by God\u2019s grace she had given him another son. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.<\/em>\u00a0 The words burned in his throat as he uttered them through trembling lips at her graveside a few weeks later. No more,<\/em> his raging heart swore; from that day on it would beat only for his sons.<\/p>\n

And then he met Marie.<\/p>\n

Marie was the sea itself\u2014wild, tumultuous, mercurial; serene on the surface with unfathomable depths below. She washed over him like a forty-foot swell the first time they met. She nearly ran him down with her horse on the Rue Royale, a misstep on his part. He stared into the laughing face above him, high color in her cheeks, and it wasn\u2019t merely the unexpected jolt that quickened his breath as he watched her ride away.<\/p>\n

By this time, life had become method and rhythm for Ben Cartwright, building a ranch and raising his sons, and most days he prided himself on admirably managing both.\u00a0 It was a hard climb from where he had been, but with two fine boys and money in the bank, he couldn\u2019t complain, could he? However, managing life is not the same as living, and the difference became crystal clear when he fell in love with Marie.\u00a0 She brought life back to him in crashing waves.<\/p>\n

Their marriage might have seemed hasty to some, but his urgency was born of his own experience. Time was a thief, a predator without mercy.\u00a0 A third son soon joined the other two, and three years later, a daughter.<\/p>\n

Marie was a devoted mother to all her children, among whom she counted Adam and Hoss; but it was watching her at play with the little ones that always made Ben smile. \u00a0That gift had twice been denied him, so he savored it all the more.\u00a0 Until that awful day.<\/p>\n

She had been riding, of course. He couldn\u2019t have stopped her any more than he could have dammed up the sea. But he cursed himself for not trying.\u00a0 He moved out of their bedroom shortly afterward because he couldn\u2019t bear to sleep in that bed without her. His heart still thumped in his chest, but otherwise he was a walking dead man.\u00a0 The tide had gone out, and the sea with it, leaving him to drown in the desert.<\/p>\n

It was the little ones who eventually rescued him. Joe was five and Jilly was barely two. He watched them together, playing the games they learned from their mother. She had taught them well, and she was still with them.\u00a0 She was there in Joe\u2019s quick laugh, in Jilly\u2019s smiling eyes. \u201cPlay with us, Pa,\u201d they coaxed him. Play with your children, Ben, <\/em>Marie\u2019s voice whispered in his soul. They are life. Don\u2019t turn away.<\/em><\/p>\n

Once again, by Heaven, he found the strength, if only for the sake of those two hopeful faces; and he vowed to be best father he could be.\u00a0 Though he could swear in good conscience that he loved all his children equally, he had to admit to a desperate love for his two youngest.\u00a0 They were a charge to keep, and he sensed Marie was somehow watching.<\/p>\n

Though she wasn\u2019t badly hurt, Jilly\u2019s riding accident unsettled him more than the fever. All he wanted to do was protect her, the way he wasn\u2019t able to protect her mother. It had been relatively easy when she was a little girl.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure how to do it now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Six <\/strong><\/p>\n

The week ended on a more positive note than it began. \u00a0The bank in Sacramento had approved Ben\u2019s loan, Joe had finished digging the new outhouse (with a little help from Hoss), and all five Cartwrights presented for breakfast as usual on Saturday morning.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll never guess who I ran into while I was away,\u201d said Ben, pouring his coffee and not waiting for a response, \u201cDenver McKee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was he doing in Sacramento?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cBusiness of some sort; he didn\u2019t say exactly. We mostly talked about Connie.\u00a0 He says she\u2019s doing real fine at that school back East.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly, who had yawned through the meal until now, took note of the news.\u00a0 \u201cPoor Connie, I feel sorry for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think you should feel sorry for her, Jilly. According to Mr. McKee she\u2019s made a lot of new friends and really likes it there. That\u2019s what she wrote in her last letter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t believe it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben raised an eyebrow at her over his cup. \u201cYou don\u2019t think he would lie about that, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but\u2026maybe Connie was just trying to make him feel better about sending her away. She didn\u2019t want to go to that school. \u00a0She said so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe not at first,\u201d said Adam, \u201cbut it sounds like Connie might have changed her mind.\u00a0 A person can do that, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded, \u201cDenver said she told him it was the best thing he could have done for her, and she\u2019s very grateful. \u00a0From what I gathered it\u2019s quite expensive but he said it was worth the sacrifice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I wouldn\u2019t like it,\u201d she frowned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you so sure?\u201d Adam asked. \u201cYou don\u2019t know anything about it.\u00a0 How do you know you wouldn\u2019t like it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I just know,\u201d she hissed through clenched teeth, slamming her fork down and scowling at him.<\/p>\n

Eyebrows raised all around the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly, that\u2019s no way to talk to your brother.\u201d Ben\u2019s reprimand was gentle but firm.<\/p>\n

She lowered her eyes to the half-empty plate in front of her.\u00a0 \u201cSorry. May I be excused, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t eaten much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right then, you may go,\u201d said her father, after a long pause. He waited until she was upstairs and out of earshot.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you make of that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReckon she\u2019s still off her feed, after bein\u2019 sick and all,\u201d Hoss volunteered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s what Pa meant,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI\u2019m not sure, but maybe we should avoid the subject of Connie McKee for now, since it seems to be a sensitive issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

After breakfast Hoss and Joe set up the checkerboard;\u00a0Adam settled down to read the latest issue of the Alta California<\/em>. \u00a0Ben was getting something from the desk when he stopped at the window.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like we\u2019ve got company.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is it, Pa?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Miss Abigail and her mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

The hopeful look on Joe\u2019s face crumbled. \u201cOh boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMind your manners, Short Shanks,\u201d Hoss reminded him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, ask Jilly to come down, please,\u201d said Ben before going out to greet their guests.<\/p>\n

\u201cJILLY! \u00a0PA WANTS YOU!\u201d Joe yelled from the bottom of the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot like that! Go up and get her,\u201d Adam frowned.<\/p>\n

She emerged from her room just then.\u00a0\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCompany,\u201d said Joe, making a face only she could see.<\/p>\n

The front door opened, and Ben escorted the two ladies into the room.\u00a0 \u201cPlease, sit down, make yourselves at home. Would you like some coffee, or tea, perhaps?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTea would be lovely, thank you,\u201d Mrs. Nutley smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, thank you,\u201d said Abigail, joining her mother on the settee as Ben headed to the kitchen. \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you, Adam,\u201d she simpered.\u00a0 \u201cI haven\u2019t seen you in town lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ve been busy here on the ranch,\u201d he replied, feeling a bit guilty at being glad for the excuse. \u201cWhat brings you ladies out this way today? It\u2019s quite a journey.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI came to check on my errant pupils and offer my assistance. Naturally, I was horrified when I heard about Jillian’s riding accident, and since she and Joseph have missed a week of school I brought some of their assignments. I wouldn\u2019t want them to get too far behind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019ll have to worry about that, Miss Abigail. They\u2019re both very capable students.\u201d Adam motioned to the pair at the bottom of the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come over and greet our guests?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy, my\u2026\u201d Abigail murmured when she saw Jilly.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s a quite a black eye you have, Jillian.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s nothing. You should have seen her a few days ago,\u201d said Joe. Jilly didn\u2019t reply, acknowledging his comment with an elbow to his ribs.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou poor dear,\u201d said Mrs. Nutley.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, if you little varmints had gone home like the sheriff said, it never would have happened,\u201d said Abigail. \u201cDon\u2019t you agree, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

His father returned with the tea tray, interrupting the conversation. \u201cHere you are, ladies. There\u2019s sugar and cream as well, however you like it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLovely,\u201d said Mrs. Nutley.\u00a0 She smiled as she poured her cup. \u201cMr. Cartwright, I do so admire you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked puzzled.\u00a0 \u201cAnd why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure it must be very difficult raising a daughter out here without a mother, especially at her\u00a0age.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her comment took Adam by surprise, his father too, judging from his face.\u00a0 In the awkward silence of his hesitation, Adam caught Jilly\u2019s eye before she looked away from him, and his heart went out to her. He knew she disliked being the focus of attention, sympathetic or otherwise.\u00a0 At the same time he felt a niggling irritation toward their guests and wondered about the real reason for their coming.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Mrs. Nutley, in my experience nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but the rewards are often far greater than the difficulties,\u201d said Ben.\u00a0 \u201cLike everyone else, we just do the best we can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s all anyone can do, isn\u2019t that right, Miss Abigail?\u201d\u00a0 Adam engaged her with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, uh, certainly\u2026\u201d she stammered, blushing under his gaze. \u201cNo one would doubt that Mr. Cartwright is indeed a very fine father, but still a young girl like Jillian\u2026”<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Abigail,\u201d Adam leaned over and interrupted her with a hand on her arm, \u201cperhaps we could continue this conversation some other time, in private?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes widened and her color deepened as she stared at him. \u201cYes\u2026\u201d she breathed\u2026then finding her voice, \u201cof course, if you think it best, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Mrs. Nutley looked on with delighted approval.<\/p>\n

After an impromptu lunch as the ladies were preparing to leave, the conversation turned back to the matter of school.\u00a0 \u201cShall I expect the children in class this week?\u201d Abigail asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Joe will be there, but I\u2019m not sure about Jilly,\u201d said Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI think the fever took more out of her than she wants to admit.\u00a0 It\u2019s a long ride back and forth every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, perhaps she wouldn\u2019t have to ride back and forth every day,\u201d said Mrs. Nutley.\u00a0 \u201cWe have a spare room.\u00a0 I had planned to take in a boarder but haven\u2019t yet.\u00a0 A woman has to be very careful, you know.\u00a0 Jilly could stay with us in the meantime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Abigail’s head bobbed\u00a0in agreement, her hopeful smile fixed on Adam. He didn\u2019t have to see Jilly\u2019s face to know her feelings on the subject, and that wasn\u2019t the only objectionable reason.\u00a0 His father\u2019s answer relieved him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s very kind of you, Mrs. Nutley, but I\u2019d like to keep Jilly at home. I\u2019ve been away, you\u00a0know, and I\u2019d like to be able to look after her myself.\u00a0 You do understand, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Abigail looked a little disappointed when she bid Adam\u00a0farewell, though she smiled again when she reminded him\u00a0of their unfinished business\u2014perhaps on his next trip into town?<\/p>\n

It was a small sacrifice, he reminded himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that was interesting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIndeed,\u201d Ben replied as they stood in the yard watching Abigail and Mrs. Nutley drive away.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cAdam, do you have any idea what\u2019s wrong with Jilly lately?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I\u2019m just about the last person she would confide in these days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot the last.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess it\u2019s a toss-up between the two of us then.\u00a0Whatever it is, it\u2019s not just lately. Maybe it\u2019s just growing pains.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what worries me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re thinking of Connie McKee, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Ben sighed.\u00a0\u201cDenver said it was the hardest thing he ever did, but it was the right thing and he knew it, even if she didn\u2019t. It got me thinking about a lot of things I hadn\u2019t been willing to admit. I’m sure you know what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnfortunately, yes.\u201d During the week of Jilly’s illness Adam was never more grateful to have Mrs. Shaughnessy here to tend to her most personal needs. But she wouldn\u2019t be around forever; in fact, she was planning to move to Sacramento to live with her recently widowed nephew.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you\u2019re not thinking of sending her to that school, are you? I know you can afford it but it\u2019s awfully far\u2026and besides, Jilly\u2019s not Connie. It would break her heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd mine too. No, I don\u2019t think I could do that.\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s never been away from here a single day in her life without one of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo where does that leave us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. This is uncharted territory for me.\u00a0\u00a0I never had to give it a thought before with you boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it would certainly be easier if she were a son instead of a daughter.\u00a0\u00a0I can\u2019t even imagine that though, can you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, and I wouldn\u2019t change a hair on her head.\u00a0\u00a0But I know taking care of her means more than nursing her through a fever or keeping her from falling off a horse.\u201d He cuffed Adam\u2019s shoulder with a rueful grin. \u201cThat\u2019s hard enough with sons.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Seven<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cRide him out, Adam! \u00a0Stay with him!\u201d \u00a0Hoss leaned against the corral railing where Joe and Jilly were perched watching their oldest brother saddle break a rambunctious mustang.\u00a0 \u201cYou watch him now. He\u2019s somethin\u2019, ain\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, that horse is really somethin\u2019,\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he meant Adam,\u201d said Jilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPay attention and you might learn a thing or two,\u201d said Hoss, just before Adam bounced into the dirt. \u00a0\u201cYou all right?\u201d He sprang away from the railing to offer his assistance.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, just dusty.\u201d\u00a0 Adam brushed himself off while Hoss calmed the frightened animal.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that was educational,\u201d quipped Joe, hopping off the fence.\u00a0 \u201cHey Adam, how about lettin\u2019 me try?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve gotta be kidding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you think I\u2019m kidding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy indeed?\u201d Adam looked only slightly amused.\u00a0 \u201cNot now, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Adam. All I want is a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll get your chance, but not today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I say so, that\u2019s when.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd who knows when that\u2019ll be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grabbed Joe\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019ll be when I think you\u2019re ready and not before. Is that clear?\u00a0 You may have been able to talk Pa into letting you stay home from school these past few days, but don\u2019t expect to come down here and wheedle your way onto one of these horses. I\u2019m the boss here and what I say goes. If you can\u2019t wrap your hard head around that, then you can just leave.\u00a0 And that goes for you too,\u201d he scowled at Jilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor starters, I told you to stay on that fence. You\u2019re not to set foot in this corral. I\u2019ve warned you about that more than once.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was storming toward the barn when Jilly caught up with him. \u201cWhere are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNowhere. None of your business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged her off. \u201cJust leave me alone, Jilly. Go back to the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

For once in her life his sister did as she was told. \u00a0She didn\u2019t even argue with him; so much the better. He saddled his horse and did what he always did whenever he needed to cool off.\u00a0 Without much of a thought to where he was going, he drove out of the barn and put the wind at his back.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take him long to realize he\u2019d been wrong, about Jilly at least.\u00a0 He reined Cochise to a stop, frowning as she approached.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing out here?\u00a0 You\u2019re not even supposed to be riding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t exactly say that.\u00a0 Besides, I\u2019m tired of just sitting around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I told you to leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you go, I go\u2014that\u2019s how it is.\u00a0 You said so yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is different, Jilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want you here, understand? Now, go home!\u201d<\/p>\n

She bit her lip, looking a little stung, but instead of turning around she pulled alongside him.\u00a0 \u201cI understand you\u2019re mad, Joe.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to talk to me, and I won\u2019t say a word if that\u2019s how it needs to be.\u00a0 But I\u2019m not going home.\u201d<\/p>\n

He drew in a breath and let it out with a curse; she didn\u2019t flinch. That\u2019s when he knew she\u2019d made up her mind and nothing was going to change it.\u00a0 He was stuck with her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, but you\u2019d better keep up,\u201d he warned over his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry.\u00a0 I caught you, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly stayed true to her word, both in keeping silent and keeping up.\u00a0 Joe had to give her credit for that. It was a far cry from the days where she trailed after him as more of a nuisance than anything else.\u00a0 To be honest, she was a pretty good rider \u2013 not nearly as good as him, but much better than last year since she\u2019d grown a couple of inches.\u00a0 The fact that they were almost the same height didn\u2019t bother him too much anymore; after all, he was still a growing boy whose father hadn\u2019t reached his full height until he was nearly eighteen.<\/p>\n

When they stopped to rest the horses, Joe\u2019s stomach reminded him they had missed lunch. He pulled some jerky from his saddlebag as a peace offering. \u201cSorry, it\u2019s all we\u2019ve got.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot all.\u201d\u00a0 She reached into her own saddlebag and tossed him an apple.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, thanks.\u201d\u00a0 He peered over her shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cGot anything else in there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust soda biscuits and hard boiled eggs\u2014that\u2019s all I had time for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll do,\u201d he grinned. \u201cYou may just be worth somethin\u2019 after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, are we talking now?\u201d<\/p>\n

He ducked his head, remembering his harshness earlier.\u00a0 \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged as if it didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, really; I shouldn\u2019t have talked to you that way before. I am sorry, Jilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked surprised, and then the corners of her mouth turned up slowly.\u00a0 \u201cWell, there\u2019s no need to get mushy about it. Let\u2019s eat. I\u2019m hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

If Joe had wanted to get mushy, he could have told her how much he hated being in school without her, especially since Mitch wasn\u2019t there either. He supposed Miss Jones wasn\u2019t a bad teacher overall, but she did tend to go on about some things; and when her voice reached a certain pitch and remained there for any length of time, it was enough to put him to sleep. Literally. When she rapped on his desk that first day he nearly jumped out of his skin, giving the other students a good laugh.\u00a0 And as much as he hated to admit it, Jilly was right about Anna Mae Shivers, whose charming assets couldn\u2019t make up for the fact that she was, indeed, dumb as a post.<\/p>\n

After three days, he was so miserable it didn\u2019t take much to convince Pa that something was no doubt amiss and perhaps it would be wise for him to stay home the rest of the week. He looked appropriately listless when Pa checked his forehead for any sign of fever while his brothers rolled their eyes in the background. Well, let \u2018em roll.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss didn\u2019t have to sit in class with Miss Jones, so what did they know?<\/p>\n

They finished their lunch and watered the horses at a nearby rivulet, transparent as it rippled over the stones forming the bed. He knelt to refill their canteens, handing hers up first.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u00a0 Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I ask you something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

She waited for him to stand.\u00a0 \u201cTell me about Mama.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took a long drink before answering. \u201cWhat do you wanna know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to know what you remember.\u00a0 What was she like?\u201d<\/p>\n

A sigh escaped him. His memories of his mother were mostly sensory now, but there were things he remembered.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was beautiful, just like her picture. And she smelled like flowers\u2014roses, lilacs.\u201d He closed his eyes for a moment. \u201cShe had this green velvet dress, my favorite. I remember sitting on her lap in church, rubbing my cheek on her sleeve, breathing in her perfume while she stroked my hair.\u00a0 I remember her reading to Hoss and me at bedtime and giving us extra cookies. \u00a0I remember her rocking me to sleep, humming in my ear. She used to sing us a song about pretty horses; do you remember it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI also remember her sitting in the floor with the two of us. We were building a block tower just so you could knock it down as soon as it was finished. Her hair was unpinned, and she was laughing. We were all laughing.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled at the memory and looked over at her. \u201cYou\u2019ve got her eyes.\u201d He had never really noticed before.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just about the nicest thing you\u2019ve ever said to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

He cleared his throat to swallow the lump that had formed there. \u201cYeah well, don\u2019t cry about it, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bending down once more to top off his canteen, he heard his name again. \u201cWhat now?\u201d\u00a0 When she didn\u2019t answer he straightened up and turned around to see what had suddenly struck her dumb.<\/p>\n

Two braves on horseback. Paiutes.<\/p>\n

The first brave, atop a gray paint, wore only a breech cloth and leggings, revealing a smooth, muscular chest. His black hair loosely brushed the top of his powerful shoulders. The second, slighter and clad in a buckskin tunic and pants, sported two long braids. They appeared to be somewhere in their early to mid-twenties. Neither looked friendly.<\/p>\n

The Cartwrights and the Paiutes had shared the land ever since Joe could remember. They had even traded together; in fact, Joe\u2019s own horse had been acquired from Chief Winnemucca in return for a buffalo gun. But it was a tenuous relationship at best. The Paiutes could turn like the weather. Pa regarded them with a healthy mix of respect and mistrust and had taught his sons to do the same.<\/p>\n

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air until the first brave spoke. \u201cYou are the brother of Adam Cartwright. That is your sister?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe instinctively stepped in front of her, holding his gaze steady as he answered, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The brave said something unintelligible to the other, who nodded and gave a snort, almost a laugh.\u00a0 Joe frowned.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>He spoke again, his face a stern mask.\u00a0 \u201cI also had a sister.\u00a0 She died of the white man\u2019s fever.\u201d<\/p>\n

The four of them stared at each other.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t sure what else to do.\u00a0 At that moment, he wasn\u2019t thinking of himself, only Jilly.\u00a0 If they were in trouble it was surely his fault, as Adam\u2019s words about leading her into danger accused him.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo home, little brother.\u00a0 Take care of your sister,\u201d said the brave, just before he and his companion wheeled their horses around and loped away.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know him?\u201d she asked, wide-eyed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever seen him before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did he know Adam is our brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think the Paiutes probably know more about us than we know about them, Jilly. Besides, Adam has made friends with a few.\u201d Maybe he was one of them. \u00a0Joe couldn’t be sure.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you suppose they wanted?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, they probably just wanted us to know they were watching. Their camp is on the other side of those trees.\u201d Joe hadn\u2019t realized they were so close. \u201cBut don\u2019t worry. Pa and Chief Winnemucca have an understanding,\u201d he assured her. \u201cWe don\u2019t bother them and they don\u2019t bother us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Back on his horse, his insides settled enough for him to enjoy the look of wonder and admiration on her face.\u00a0 He\u2019d never let her know how scared he was. \u201cWe\u2019d better head home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich way? I don\u2019t even know where we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a good thing you\u2019re with me then,\u201d he grinned. \u201cCome on, I know a short cut.\u201d<\/p>\n

The adrenaline pounding his veins found release in the open meadow where he gave Cochise his head.\u00a0 Hang school<\/em>. This is how he would live if he had his choice, because he never felt more connected to the earth than through the galloping hooves of a good horse.<\/p>\n

Those were Joe\u2019s last coherent thoughts before that connection was unceremoniously interrupted, and in the seconds that followed, surprise, fear, and pain ebbed into blackness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Eight<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>It was only a few seconds, but they would play over and over in Jilly\u2019s mind for a long time after\u2014the horror of Cochise stumbling and rolling in front of her, Joe\u2019s limbs flailing as he pitched forward into the grass.<\/p>\n

Her own horse shied but she stuck in the saddle this time, averting a collision and further disaster. Cochise scrambled to his feet but Joe didn\u2019t move. An icy sweat of terror engulfed her, sucking the air from her lungs as she raced toward him.<\/p>\n

He was on his side; his eyes were closed and he didn\u2019t move a hair when she called his name, not even a twitch.\u00a0 He was so still she checked twice to make sure he was breathing.\u00a0 She had no idea how badly he was hurt or what to do about it if he didn\u2019t wake up and tell her.<\/p>\n

She grabbed her canteen and wet her bandana, wringing the water onto his face and mopping it up. \u201cPlease wake up, Joe, please!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He groaned but didn\u2019t open his eyes. She continued her efforts until he rolled over on his back and cried out in agony.<\/p>\n

Through tears she watched his eyelids flutter. \u201cPa,\u201d he moaned. \u201cSorry\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Then he was quiet and still once more.<\/p>\n

A shuddering fear wormed from the pit of her stomach into her throat as she knelt next to him. Joe had always been the one to lead them out of a scrape, no matter how frightening. He had never failed her.\u00a0 But he needed her now.\u00a0 He was hurt, maybe dying for all she knew, and she didn\u2019t know how to help him.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t even know how to get home. And no one knew where they were.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, God\u2014tell me what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a desperate prayer, and in the silence of the meadow there was no answer. With the sun dipping lower in the sky over her shoulder, Jilly put her head in her hands and cried.<\/p>\n

A voice inside shook the tears out of her.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be a ninny, crying won\u2019t help. Think, Jilly, think\u2026 <\/em>\u00a0What would Joe do?\u00a0 For one thing, he would know the way home. Why hadn\u2019t she paid more attention to where they were going instead of just following him blind? Maybe it would have saved them some grief, like Adam said. \u201cYou\u2019ve got a good head on your shoulders, don’t be afraid to use it<\/em>\u2026.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

What would Adam do?\u00a0 He certainly wouldn\u2019t cry. He wasn\u2019t emotional like Joe or Hoss, or even Pa.\u00a0 She had seen them all shed tears at one time or another; never Adam.\u00a0 He always used his head. But she was nothing like Adam, and she\u2019d never imagined trying to think like him, so what was the use?<\/p>\n

She wondered if they had been missed by now.\u00a0 Probably, but she didn\u2019t know how long it would take for someone to find them. They had water enough, jerky and a couple of biscuits, so they wouldn\u2019t starve even if Joe woke up enough to eat.\u00a0 She swabbed his face again. The problem with staying here was that she didn\u2019t know how badly he was hurt and if there was even time to wait.<\/p>\n

The idea of spending the night in the open meadow raised more worries. They\u2019d have no fire, and who knew what kind of wild animals might come prowling after dark.\u00a0 She could use Joe\u2019s rifle if she had to, but if her last attempt was any measure of her ability they would be sitting ducks no matter. At least it seemed they wouldn\u2019t have to worry about the Paiutes.<\/p>\n

The Paiutes.<\/em><\/p>\n

A thought swirled in her head that she immediately tried to dismiss, but it was too stubborn. The Paiute camp wasn\u2019t far, if Joe had been right. Maybe she could find it. Oh, but she couldn\u2019t go there, could she? The prospect filled her with new dread. Would she be welcome?\u00a0 Would they even understand her?\u00a0 At least one of them spoke English. And he knew Adam.<\/p>\n

She set Joe\u2019s canteen next to him and leaned over to whisper, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe. I can\u2019t get you home by myself.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to get help. I love you and I\u2019ll be back soon, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cTheir camp is on the other side of those trees.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what Joe had said, and that\u2019s the direction the two braves were headed before they disappeared from view.\u00a0 Jilly wiped her sweaty palms on her trousers and took a deep breath to try to calm her runaway heart. Joe needs you,<\/em> she reminded herself. For once in her life, someone was depending on her, and she couldn\u2019t let him down.<\/p>\n

She nudged her pony into the shadowy wood, threading her way through the pines and the aspens, careful to note the way she had come.\u00a0 Joe had said the Paiutes had been watching them; maybe they were watching her now. Maybe they would find her before she found the camp. Either way, it didn\u2019t matter as long as she could get help.<\/p>\n

The trees spread out as the land sloped toward a small valley. \u00a0She smelled the campfire smoke before she reached the clearing, and there it was.\u00a0 It had been easier than she thought, but she knew the hard part was yet to come, and suddenly she was terrified, more than she had ever been. It wasn\u2019t fear for her life; it was fear of failing and what that might mean for Joe. For all of them.<\/p>\n

Please, God. Make them listen. And keep Joe safe.<\/em><\/p>\n

She was preparing to go down when she heard a noise behind her. A mix of relief and dread washed over her as the two Paiutes approached.\u00a0 So they had been following her.<\/p>\n

The stern one spoke, \u201cLittle Sister, why do you come here alone?\u00a0 Where is your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

The words tumbled out of her almost in one breath, \u201cHe was thrown from his horse in the meadow\u2026he\u2019s hurt and needs help…please\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said something to the other one, who looked at her and frowned before answering.\u00a0 Jilly couldn\u2019t understand them but they seemed to be at odds.<\/p>\n

\u201cLean Knife says this is not our concern, that we risk bringing trouble on ourselves by the foolishness of children.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly trembled, both in anger and in fear. \u201cDoes he speak for you?\u00a0 What do you say?\u201d\u00a0 There was something in his face, stern though it was, that gave her hope.\u00a0 \u201cMy brother could die if you don\u2019t come!\u00a0 Please!\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t answer her right away, continuing his discourse with the other brave. Finally, he said, \u201cWe will take you to our camp. You will be safe there. We will bring your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! I\u2019m going with you.\u00a0 I promised him I would come back.\u201d That was a promise she intended to keep, no matter what else happened.<\/p>\n

He stared at her and grunted, somehow looking a little less forbidding. He spoke again to Lean Knife, who scowled in return.\u00a0 A moment later the three of them turned back through the trees toward the meadow.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Lord moves in mysterious ways\u201d\u2014it was one of those Pa-isms that Jilly had never found in her bible but seemed to be divinely true.\u00a0 It meant that God sometimes answered prayers in ways people weren\u2019t expecting, or that some things happened for reasons they didn\u2019t understand until much later.\u00a0 When she prayed for help that day, she hadn\u2019t really expected it in the form of a stoic Paiute and his grumpy companion. But she was grateful for however it came.<\/p>\n

His name was Tukwa, she learned.\u00a0 Lean Knife was his cousin.<\/p>\n

When they arrived back at the meadow, Joe hadn\u2019t moved.\u00a0 Jilly didn\u2019t know whether that was good or bad, but at least he was still breathing.\u00a0 Tukwa knelt next to him, probing for injuries, and she was almost surprised at his gentleness. No broken ribs, but when he squeezed Joe\u2019s upper right arm he winced and moaned.\u00a0 Tukwa carefully unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a grisly purple shoulder with an unnatural lump at the top.<\/p>\n

She gasped.\u00a0 \u201cIs it broken?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe yes, maybe no. Either way there is much pain. We will take him to the camp so our women may tend to him. Winnemucca must also know of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow will we get him there if he can\u2019t ride?\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t answer her; instead he addressed Lean Knife, who sat down at Joe\u2019s head. Tukwa removed his hunting knife from its sheath and began cutting Joe\u2019s shirt from just below the collar lengthwise down the sleeves. Lean Knife placed his hands under Joe\u2019s back, lifting him enough to free it from beneath him.\u00a0 Tukwa folded the body of the shirt into a sling for Joe\u2019s arm, securing it with the sleeves tied together around his neck.<\/p>\n

The movement elicited more moans, and Joe\u2019s eyes flicked open in pain and confusion. \u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Tukwa placed his hand on Joe\u2019s head, \u201cLie still, Little Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lines faded from Joe\u2019s brow, and he closed his eyes once more. \u201cAdam\u2026I knew you\u2019d come.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly\u2019s throat ached with unshed tears. Adam, I wish you were here.<\/em><\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

The ride to camp was tedious and slow for Joe\u2019s sake. \u00a0Groggy and mostly unaware of his surroundings, he rode with Tukwa, braced against his chest and steadied by his strong arms. \u00a0Jilly followed, leading Cochise. Lean Knife rode ahead of them to make preparations.<\/p>\n

Chief Winnemucca greeted them when they arrived.\u00a0 Jilly understood the gist of what he and Tukwa were saying even if she didn\u2019t know the language, especially when she heard her father\u2019s name. \u00a0Tukwa handed Joe down to two of the young men who carried him into a tipi. \u00a0She started to follow them but he stopped her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWinnemucca says I must take you to your father and tell him we will care for his son until he comes for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d \u00a0She supposed they could force her, but that\u2019s the only way she would leave this place without Joe. \u201cI can\u2019t go home now; my brother needs me. Please, Chief Winnemucca, I mean no disrespect to you but I have to stay with my brother.\u00a0 My father would want me to stay. \u00a0Send someone for him, and let me stay until he comes. \u00a0Please,\u201d she implored Tukwa. \u201cTell him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two men exchanged glances. Tukwa said nothing. \u00a0Winnemucca answered instead, \u201cYou have told him yourself.\u00a0 Let it be so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Nine<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>The sun was sinking and supper was on the table, but the three Cartwrights seated there were merely going through the motions of eating.\u00a0 They took turns glancing at the clock until Ben finally slammed his fork on the table and rose from his chair to look out the window as he had done at least half a dozen times that afternoon.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is ridiculous! I\u2019ve just about had it with those two.\u00a0 They know better than to ride off without telling anyone; and they certainly know to be back here in time for dinner!\u201d It was easier to give voice to anger than to the worry gnawing his insides, but he knew he wasn\u2019t fooling Adam or Hoss, who felt as he did.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess maybe I was a little hard on Joe this morning,\u201d Adam frowned.<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cNo, you weren\u2019t. He had it comin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEither way, it\u2019s no excuse for this.\u201d\u00a0 Ben scowled at the clock once more before retrieving his holster and gun from the credenza. His boys were right behind him.<\/p>\n

From the porch, they saw two riders approaching. Adam recognized one of them. \u201cIt\u2019s been a long time, Tukwa,\u201d he greeted him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat brings you here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tukwa nodded, \u201cYes, many moons, Adam Cartwright. Winnemucca sent me with a message for your father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d Ben frowned.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour children are in our camp.\u00a0 Your son has been injured.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? How? Is he all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was thrown from his horse. His shoulder may be broken. \u00a0Our women are caring for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about my daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe is well. It was her wish to stay with her brother until you come.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m coming now as soon as I saddle my horse,\u201d said Ben.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you and Hoss pack some blankets and food; bring the wagon. We\u2019ll need it for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Joe woke up agitated when they brought him in, but Jilly assured him she was all right, Cochise was fine, and Pa was on his way.\u00a0 A gray-haired Paiute woman applied a strong-smelling poultice to Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 She spoke only a few words of broken English but her kindness needed no translation. A young girl about Jilly\u2019s age brought a small wooden bowl of willow bark tea\u2014good for pain, the woman said. \u00a0Their tender ministrations left an indelible imprint on Jilly\u2019s impressionable young heart as she watched.<\/p>\n

Stifled by the air inside the tipi where Joe lay sleeping, Jilly ducked outside to breathe and stretch her legs. She hadn\u2019t realized how tired she was until now. Night had fallen, bringing a chill from the mountains, and a round white moon peered through the trees.<\/p>\n

The young girl who brought the tea motioned her to the campfire and pressed a bowl into her hand. Clearly it was food, and Jilly was expected to eat it, but she didn\u2019t have any idea what it was except it was some sort of meat. She smiled her thanks and took a small piece so as not to be rude. It wasn\u2019t the worst thing she\u2019d ever tasted, but in truth she\u2019d have to be starving before she could eat much more of it.<\/p>\n

They sat down together at the campfire.\u00a0 The girl smiled and touched her chest. \u201cSaratucci,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly,\u201d she replied, indicating herself and smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly,\u201d Saratucci repeated. She fingered the yellow ribbon on one of Jilly\u2019s braids.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you like it?\u201d Jilly untied it and offered it to her.<\/p>\n

She smiled.\u00a0 Jilly tied the ribbon into a bow on one of Saratucci\u2019s braids, and then did the same with the other.\u00a0 The girl laughed, and so did she.<\/p>\n

The old woman from the tipi joined them at the campfire. She smiled at Saratucci\u2019s delight and then put her hand on Jilly\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cFather comes,\u201d she said, pointing.<\/p>\n

There was Pa, like something out of a dream, sweeping her into his arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right, sweetheart?\u201d<\/p>\n

Blinking back tears, she could only nod.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me look at you,\u201d said Pa, cupping her chin in his hand.\u00a0 \u201cTukwa told me what happened.\u00a0 You were very brave, and I\u2019m so proud of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you seen Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just looked in on him.\u00a0 He\u2019s still sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna be all right, Pa\u2014he is, isn\u2019t he?\u201d It was her secret fear, that in spite of everything, he might not be.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be fine in a few days.\u00a0 We just need to get him home.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time Adam and Hoss arrived with the wagon, Joe was awake; still groggy, memory vague, but he recognized the faces around him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Jilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s here; everyone\u2019s here,\u201d Pa assured him as he stroked his hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Hoss; Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you feel, Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked, examining his shoulder.<\/p>\n

Joe winced. \u201cNot too bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree with you, Pa, not broken, just dislocated. I think it\u2019s better to take care of it now than later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d said Pa.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, would you take Jilly outside, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa. Come on, Little Bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

She cast an anxious glance at Joe before leaving with Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are they going to do?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re gonna pop that shoulder back in place where it belongs.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry, Adam and Pa know what they\u2019re doin\u2019, and it\u2019ll make the ride home easier for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Home. \u00a0It felt like forever since she left. \u00a0Her eyes stung, and she was so tired.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded, not looking at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The tears she had been saving that day flowed freely then in the refuge of her brother\u2019s embrace.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

It was time to leave. \u00a0Joe was bedded down in the wagon with plenty of quilts and blankets; Cochise and Brownie were tied to the back.\u00a0 Saratucci gave Jilly a cardinal feather as a gift.\u00a0 Tukwa said the red bird was a good omen and the feather would bring her luck.\u00a0 He almost smiled.<\/p>\n

With thanks and goodbyes exchanged all around, they would soon be on their way.<\/p>\n

\u201cDaughter of Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly had never contemplated the voice of God but if she had, she might have imagined it just like Chief Winnemucca\u2019s. She turned to face him, more in awe than fear.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bring honor to your father.\u201d<\/p>\n

She felt Pa\u2019s grip on her shoulder tighten, and she thought she saw tears in his eyes when he smiled at her, but it might have been the moonlight.<\/p>\n

Hoss was grinning from ear to ear. Adam\u2019s expression was more thoughtful, and when he lifted her into the back of the wagon with Joe, he kissed her cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d better get some sleep. It\u2019ll be a long ride home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was sleeping again.\u00a0 He looked so much like a little boy that without thinking, she reached over and brushed a curl from his forehead.\u00a0 What are you dreaming now that makes you smile?<\/em> She didn\u2019t want to think it was Anna Mae.\u00a0 Perhaps it was their mother. Yes, surely it was.<\/p>\n

Jilly stretched out next to him and pulled the blanket over her. The night was clear and cold, and a twinkling net of stars stretched across the sky as far as she could see. The wagon creaked forward and suddenly she was five years old again, trundling home from the barn raising at Connie McKee\u2019s, snuggled beneath the quilt with Joe\u2019s soft snoring in her ear.\u00a0 The stars came closer and closer, until she was caught up in them, and there was a lullaby somewhere at the edge of her dream.<\/p>\n

Blacks and bays, dapples and grays,<\/em><\/p>\n

All the pretty little horses.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Ten<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joe milked his injury for all it was worth over the next few weeks and got his wish.\u00a0 He no longer had to endure the tedium of Miss Jones\u2019s classroom. She was kind enough to prepare lessons for him to complete at home, and Jilly studied along with him. When they took their exams at the end of the term they were both at the top of the class, to the great surprise of their teacher.<\/p>\n

The mantle of summer, comforting in its familiarity, settled over the Ponderosa with warm lingering days and balmy, cloudless nights. There are rare times when all seems right with the world, and for Jilly this was one of those times. But the world turns imperceptibly, and an ordinary day can become extraordinary without warning.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cHey everybody, Pa\u2019s home!\u201d called Joe. \u201cLet’s eat. I\u2019m starved!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you made it back just in time.\u201d Hoss laughed. \u201cI don\u2019t know how much longer we could\u2019ve held Little Joe back from the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I\u2019m a growin\u2019 boy,\u201d Joe protested good-naturedly, already seated and unfolding his napkin.<\/p>\n

Ben chuckled, shaking his head. His youngest son\u2019s latest growth spurt was a source of amusement to the family; so far, the only thing that had grown was his appetite.<\/p>\n

Adam took his seat next to Ben. \u201cDid you get the mail, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that book you ordered came in. Speaking of mail, I got a letter from Miles and Margaret Hightower. It looks like they\u2019ll be paying us a visit soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t they the folks with all them girls?\u201d Hoss grinned at Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes. Miles Hightower was an old friend of Pa\u2019s from the army. He and his wife Margaret had three daughters\u2014Barbara, Alice Ann and Gertrude, called Trudy. The Hightower girls were popular in San Francisco society and suitors were not scarce, but it was no secret that over the years Mrs. Hightower had been holding out for a Cartwright, namely Adam. At this point Trudy was her last hope. She was a nice girl, not unattractive, but with a rather forward manner and a laugh like a braying mule. Adam winced at the recollection.<\/p>\n

Ben suppressed a smile. \u201cWell, I hate to disappoint any of you, but apparently Trudy got married a couple of months ago. So we\u2019ll only have two guests this time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam let out the breath he had been holding unaware with such a force that the whole table erupted in laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen are they coming, Pa?\u201d asked Jilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll arrive day after tomorrow. That doesn\u2019t leave much time for getting ready. I\u2019ll need you all to pitch in.\u201d<\/p>\n

A lively discussion of plans and preparations followed. \u201cCompany\u201d on the Ponderosa was always a festive occasion, and Jilly looked forward to their guests\u2019 arrival. Little did she know how much her life was about to change.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cOw!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam flinched as Hoss rubbed bear grease into the stinging wound on his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cBut you ought to know better than to turn your back on a wild mustang.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Adam,\u201d said Joe. \u201cWhat\u2019d you go and do a fool thing like that for?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shot a dark look at his youngest brother, who seemed to find a sadistic humor in his discomfort. He was tired and irritated and soaked in sweat after trying to get a saddle on that black stallion all morning. The fact that the horse had bitten him added injury to insult.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat horse has a devil in him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure he does,\u201d said Joe, a little too agreeably, with a knowing look at Jilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m telling you, he\u2019s got a real mean streak!\u201d said Adam, his voice rising.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlack Star\u2019s not mean,\u201d said Jilly. \u201cHe\u2019s just scared. How would you feel if someone took you away from your home and dropped you in a strange place with strange people? He just needs a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stabbed a finger toward her. \u201cYou stay away from him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly arched her eyebrows. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

He stood up, buttoning his shirt. She knew exactly what he meant. \u00a0Lately, Jilly and horses were like ticks on a hound, and she had already taken it on herself to name this one. \u201cYou heard me. I don\u2019t want you anywhere near that horse until I break him. He\u2019s dangerous.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right, Jilly,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cAn animal like that is just plumb unpredictable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH! JILLIAN!\u201d Pa\u2019s voice bellowed through the open window.<\/p>\n

Joe and Jilly grimaced at each other. They had only half finished mucking the stalls when the commotion in the corral lured them away. Joe sighed. \u201cWell, I guess the fun\u2019s all over now. Come on, let\u2019s go.\u201d He tugged one of her braids.<\/p>\n

Jilly followed him through the door, then ducked her head back in. \u201cI\u2019m really sorry he bit you, Adam, but you should try being nicer to him next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

The door shut quickly before he could respond. Who did she think she was, telling him how to handle a horse? \u00a0\u201cCan you believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged. \u201cMight be worth a try,\u201d he muttered, avoiding his dumbfounded brother\u2019s gaze directly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSuddenly everyone\u2019s a critic.\u201d He flexed his shoulder. It was sore, but not enough to keep him from using it. \u201cThanks, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned. \u201cAnytime, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stepped out onto the porch contemplating the unruly beast in the corral. He was one prime piece of horseflesh, all right. Adam decided to give him a wide berth for a while, hoping Jilly had sense enough to do the same. She was a smart girl, but unpredictable herself sometimes.\u00a0 He hoped today hadn\u2019t given her any big ideas.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Eleven<\/strong><\/p>\n

Black Star had been watching Jilly, but she had pretended not to notice. Acknowledging him for the first time that morning, she met his eyes from across the corral as they appraised one another. He was bigger than Brownie, solid black with a white star on his forehead. And he was the most beautiful horse she had ever seen.<\/p>\n

She paused at the gate but swallowed the urge to open it and go inside. After all, Adam and Hoss had both warned her to \u201cstay away from that horse,\u201d as if she hadn\u2019t been around horses her whole life. Older brothers could be a bother sometimes. Lucky for her they weren\u2019t around. Joe and Hoss had gone with Pa to Genoa to meet the stage. Adam had ridden off somewhere earlier; she didn\u2019t know when he would be back.<\/p>\n

Jilly hoisted herself onto the fence railing and carefully swung her legs over. There was no harm in sitting.\u00a0 \u201cYou just need a friend, don\u2019t you boy?\u201d she murmured, her eyes locked on his. She kept talking, her voice barely above a whisper as he watched her. His big body was motionless, not lifting a hoof. He wouldn\u2019t hurt her, no matter what any of them said. \u00a0She eased herself down inside the corral, one foot on the ground, then the other.<\/p>\n

Keeping her hands loose at her sides, she took a step forward, then another. \u201cYou understand me, don\u2019t you?\u201d \u00a0The horse took a step back. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, boy. I just want to be your friend. I\u2019m not here to hurt you.\u201d \u00a0She kept her voice and her arms low, edging closer. Black Star dropped his head slightly, his ears relaxed. She was near enough to touch him but thought it better not to rush the introduction. Suddenly the horse jerked his head up and tensed his neck, flaring his nostrils at something behind her. Jilly heard someone call her name.<\/p>\n

Adam was home.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t turn around, just back up slowly to the fence.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cQuiet. Just do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

His voice was calm and measured, but Jilly knew that tone, and her stomach sank like a rock. As she stepped back, the horse moved with her, stopping short of the fence.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow climb out, easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly kept her eyes on Black Star as she lifted herself up and over. She had taken a risk and hadn\u2019t figured on getting caught. Standing in front of her big brother now, she wasn\u2019t sure it was worth it. Adam looked as angry as she\u2019d ever seen him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat in heaven\u2019s name were you doing in there? That horse could have killed you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam, didn\u2019t you see\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

He interrupted her. \u201cWhat I saw was a little girl being willfully disobedient. Didn\u2019t I tell you yesterday to stay away from that horse? What got into you? And don\u2019t you dare say you forgot. Well?\u201d<\/p>\n

She felt the color rising in her cheeks. \u201cI\u2019m tired of everyone around here treating me like a baby!\u201d It wasn\u2019t an excuse, just an honest sentiment.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then don\u2019t act like one!\u201d<\/p>\n

Black Star whinnied and tossed his head. They watched as he reared up and delivered a crashing foreleg blow to the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see that? Now you tell me honestly, do you still think he\u2019s not dangerous?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly squinted up at him. \u201cMaybe he doesn\u2019t like you yelling at me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s mouth was a grim line, his jaw muscles clenched. \u201cAll right, we\u2019ll take it inside. After you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The silent walk to the house seemed longer than usual. She had no defense for her actions. She had gambled and lost and would have to take what was coming to her. She was not a baby.<\/p>\n

Adam closed the door and hung his hat on the wall. He took his time unbuckling his gun belt and putting it away before he spoke again. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I yelled at you, Jilly, but you can\u2019t just do whatever you please whenever you want.\u201d He paused and rubbed the back of his head. \u201cI know you didn\u2019t think that horse would hurt you, and I\u2019m thankful he didn\u2019t, but that was a real possibility you chose to ignore, in spite of what you were told. Suppose he had hurt you, or someone else who might have had to go in there after you? You didn\u2019t think about that, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly hung her head. She honestly had not.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou and Joe, you don\u2019t think about anybody but yourselves. What I mean is you don\u2019t think about consequences and how they can also affect others. As a part of this family, you have a responsibility to the people who love you to take care of yourself.\u00a0 Bad things can happen even when you\u2019re being careful, but you put yourself in danger needlessly, and for what?\u00a0 To please yourself.\u00a0 That\u2019s selfish. \u00a0And childish. If I sound angry, it\u2019s because I am. Let me put it bluntly. If something awful happened to you, it would just about kill Pa. He\u2019s had enough tragedy in his life already. So if nothing else, think about that the next time you get it into your head to do something\u2026stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

She wanted to say she was sorry but didn\u2019t trust her voice to speak.\u00a0 She wouldn\u2019t cry in front of Adam. She bit her lip and stood there, waiting.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear, somebody ought to take you over his knee and teach you a lesson you\u2019ll remember before it\u2019s too late,\u201d he sighed, \u201cbut it\u2019s not going to be me.\u201d\u00a0 His brows relaxed, and he looked more solemn than angry. \u201cGo upstairs and get cleaned up.\u00a0 Pa and the others will be home soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

She started slowly up the stairs, pausing to look back. He was massaging his forehead, frowning like he had a headache, and she guessed she was to blame for that. He must have felt her eyes on him because he glanced up. The look on his face tore at her heart. She\u2019d have to hurry to her room to make good on her promise not to cry.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Adam wasn\u2019t surprised that Jilly barely acknowledged him when she took her seat next to him at dinner. Her hair was loosed from the braids and tucked behind one ear with the silver comb he had brought her from San Francisco for her last birthday, he noted, and it made her look older. Pa had been pleased and proud when she presented herself to Mr. and Mrs. Hightower in her best dress with her most gracious manners. She had been mostly quiet that afternoon, speaking only when spoken to, and only Adam knew why.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, would you please pass the salt?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

The shaker was on the table between Ben and Adam. \u201cYour brother is sitting right next to you; why didn\u2019t you ask him?\u201d<\/p>\n

She stared at her plate without answering. Adam set the shaker down next to her. \u201cThere you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d She didn\u2019t look at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben cocked an eyebrow toward Adam. \u201cIs there something I should know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam threw a long look at Jilly before he answered, \u201cNo, nothing.\u201d He turned to Ben and smiled, \u201cEverything\u2019s fine, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Satisfied, Ben turned his attention back to Miles and the price of beef in San Francisco. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam caught her watching him. He winked at her. She said nothing, but returned to her plate with that familiar half-smile on her face, a good sign. He glanced at the guest sitting across from her. Margaret Hightower was watching Jilly, as she had been since their arrival, and he wondered what she might be thinking.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Jilly arrived at the breakfast table the next morning out of breath and fifteen minutes behind everyone else. She\u2019d had a hard time getting to sleep and woke up tired, but Pa would likely see that as a poor excuse. He expected punctuality at mealtimes, especially with company in the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cMornin\u2019, lazy Mary.\u201d<\/p>\n

She ignored Joe as she sat down, offering a meek apology to her father instead, \u201cSorry, Pa.\u201d She pulled her suspender strap back onto her shoulder and crossed her fingers that he wouldn\u2019t send her upstairs to change into a dress.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s mood was jovial. \u201cWell, we\u2019re just delighted you could join us this morning, Jilly. \u00a0Miles, how about some more coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

Relieved, she helped herself to a serving of scrambled eggs. \u201cPass the salt, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you always do that?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAsk for salt before you even taste your food. Maybe it doesn\u2019t need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI like salt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere,\u201d said Joe. \u201cHave all you want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d She turned the shaker upside down and the lid fell onto her plate, along with the contents.<\/p>\n

Jilly\u2019s face burned. \u201cJoe Cartwright! I ought to box your ears for this!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t do anything!\u201d Joe tried his best to look innocent but he didn\u2019t fool her, not for one second.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a flannel-mouth liar!\u201d she accused him, swatting him on the side of the head.<\/p>\n

\u201cJillian!\u201d Ben looked aghast. \u201cMind your manners and your tongue, young lady!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, he ruined my breakfast!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glowered at Joe. \u201cJoseph, what on earth possessed you to do such a thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt must be broken I guess\u2026.\u201d Joe\u2019s voice trailed off as he withered under his father\u2019s scowl. He rubbed the side of his head.<\/p>\n

Adam picked up the shaker and screwed the lid on tightly. \u201cIt seems to be in working order now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u201cSince the two of you don\u2019t seem to know how to conduct yourselves in front of company, you can just finish your breakfast in the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow Pa, that don\u2019t hardly seem fair\u2026\u201d said Hoss, trying to keep a straight face, \u201c\u2026punishin\u2019 poor old Hop Sing like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m finished, Pa,\u201d said Joe, \u201cso if I could just be excused\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hungry anymore, and I don\u2019t want to eat in the same room with him anyway\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The conversation grew louder and more heated as they tried to talk over each other, until their father interjected.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuiet!\u201d Ben closed his eyes and looked to Jilly as though he were praying for what he frequently called Almighty Guidance. When he spoke again his voice was lower but just as firm. \u201cI want the two of you to apologize to Mr. and Mrs. Hightower for your behavior this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry ma\u2019am. Sorry sir,\u201d said Joe to their guests, whose collective gaze focused on Jilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too; I\u2019m sorry,\u201d Jilly blushed further under their scrutiny.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow to each other,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

Jilly glared at her brother. This was his fault. She had only given him what he deserved for that little prank, but she would never get out of there without an apology, and that was all she wanted to do. \u201cSorry,\u201d she mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cLikewise,\u201d he muttered, rolling his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou may be excused. Go do something\u2026 constructive, hmm?\u201d<\/p>\n

The two raced for the door like a pair of jackrabbits, but Jilly turned back to the table to snatch the biscuit from her plate before she was off again. Adam and Hoss grinned at each other; Ben just shook his head. \u201cThere go the two main reasons I have all this gray hair,\u201d he quipped. \u201cIt\u2019s not always easy keeping them reined in. I hope you\u2019ll pardon them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy word\u2026\u201d Margaret whispered to her husband. \u201cDid you see…?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was thinking the very same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

She explained, \u201cOh Ben, we\u2019re used to children, young girls especially.\u201d Her blue-gray eyes crinkled in a smile. \u201cWe think Jilly is lovely\u2026she reminds us so much of our Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked puzzled. \u201cClaire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClaire was our second oldest,\u201d Miles explained, \u201ca year behind Barbara. She died when she was just about Jilly\u2019s age. Typhus.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes softened in sympathy. \u201cI had no idea. I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, really,\u201d said Miles. \u201cWe often talk about her; it\u2019s our way of keeping her close to us.\u201d He smiled at his wife, and she patted his hand. \u201cThe others are grown and gone now, but Claire will always be our little girl. She could be full of pepper sometimes,\u201d he laughed, \u201cbut I daresay a sweeter child never lived.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled in empathy. \u201cSugar and spice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t forget the salt.\u201d Adam raised the shaker in a mock toast. \u201cTo young girls everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

The others laughed in unison. \u201cHere, here!\u201d exclaimed Miles.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

That evening after supper, the family gathered in the great room. Ben poured a brandy for Miles and one for himself. \u201cWould you like some coffee or tea, Margaret?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thank you, Ben. My hands are occupied.\u201d She held up a delicate weave of pastel yarns.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you making?\u201d Jilly asked, sitting down next to her on the sofa.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m crocheting a blanket for my first grandchild.\u201d Alice Ann was due to give birth in a few months. Margaret smiled at Jilly. \u201cWould you like me to show you how?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly nodded. Margaret gave her a crochet hook and some yarn and guided her hands through several steps until she had made a chain. \u201cThere you go. See how easy it is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Pa!\u201d Jilly beamed. Ben smiled at her delight.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy, what lovely long fingers you have,\u201d said Margaret. \u201cA musician\u2019s hands if I\u2019ve ever seen any. What I wouldn\u2019t give for a pair like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you play?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

Miles answered for her. \u201cMargaret is quite an accomplished pianist. She taught all of our girls.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI could teach you too,\u201d she said to Jilly. \u201cWhy, I bet you\u2019d pick it up in no time. Here let me show you something else\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched the two of them together with a fresh pang from an old wound. He couldn\u2019t help thinking of Marie and how much their daughter had missed growing up without her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Twelve<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss finished tying the last of the luggage onto the back of the buggy. \u201cMr. Hightower, I reckon we\u2019d better get goin\u2019 if we\u2019re gonna make that stage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Miles shook Ben\u2019s hand. \u201cWe\u2019ve had a delightful time, old friend. The Ponderosa is even more spectacular than I remembered, and you\u2019ve been a most gracious host.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled, \u201cIt\u2019s been wonderful seeing the both of you again. I\u2019m just sorry you couldn\u2019t stay longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, so am I,\u201d said Miles. \u201cA man could get used to a place like this. However, duty calls.\u201d\u00a0 He turned to Jilly. \u201cYoung lady, I just want to say that I have enjoyed the pleasure of your company immensely these past few days. Wait a minute; I think there\u2019s something behind your ear\u2026what\u2019s this?\u201d \u00a0He held up a gold dollar.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you do that?\u201d she asked, wide-eyed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a trade secret among bankers; I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m under a solemn oath not to reveal it to anyone else,\u201d he winked and grinned, handing her the coin.<\/p>\n

Margaret kissed her on the cheek. \u201cWe hope you\u2019ll visit us in San Francisco, Jilly. We have plenty of room, and there are many things to do in the city. You\u2019d like to come, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yes ma\u2019am. I\u2019d like that.\u201d She smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod bless you, Ben,\u201d said Margaret, embracing him. \u201cWe\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you, soon I hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben put his arm around Jilly as they waved their farewells, his thoughts on the conversation earlier that morning\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, Margaret and I have a proposition for you,\u201d said Miles, \u201cand we sincerely hope you\u2019ll consider it once you get over the shock.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Margaret looked excited. \u201cWe stayed up late last night discussing it, and we think it would be a wonderful opportunity for Jilly, and helpful to you. We\u2019d like for Jilly to come and live with us in San Francisco.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He was too stunned to speak. Margaret took his hand. \u201cI know you weren\u2019t expecting this, but think of what it would mean for her. She would have an excellent education, all the cultural advantages of the city, and she would have a mother to take care of her. I know you\u2019re a wonderful father,\u201d she said gently, \u201cbut even you can\u2019t give her that. And at her age she needs a mother more than ever before.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I don\u2019t know what to say,\u201d he stammered. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, we don\u2019t expect an answer right away. Of course you need to time to think about it.\u201d Miles put a hand on his shoulder. \u201cI don\u2019t envy you, my friend. Believe me, I know how hard it is to let go of a daughter. But I promise you we would love and care for her as one of our own.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Miles and Margaret were two of his dearest, most trusted friends. He promised them he would think about it, and he would talk to Adam of course…<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think of the idea, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had been listening to his father with a growing knot in his stomach.\u00a0 So this was what Margaret had been thinking. He traced the rim of his coffee cup with his forefinger, his brows drawn together.\u00a0 \u201cWell, my gut reaction is\u2026I hate it. I hate the fact that we\u2019re even talking about it. I hate the fact that it\u2019s necessary to talk about. But we both knew the day was coming when decisions would need to be made.\u201d He bit his lip. \u201cIt was easier to think about when it seemed farther away. I never expected it to be this week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither did I. It\u2019s a very generous invitation, you\u2019ll have to admit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Pa. Do you think the only reason they\u2019ve asked is because Jilly reminds them of their dead daughter?\u00a0 That could be a little uncomfortable for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m sure that\u2019s why they were taken with her in the beginning, but I don\u2019t believe they\u2019re looking for a replacement. I think they see it as a mutually beneficial arrangement.\u00a0 They have a big empty house that feels lonely right now, and Jilly needs a woman\u2019s guidance at this stage in her life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose it\u2019s an option worth considering.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a better one?\u00a0 If so I\u2019d love to hear it. Of course, there\u2019s always Mrs. Nutley and Miss Abigail\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grimaced and chuckled. \u201cShe\u2019d probably rather go to school back East with Connie if those were her only choices. I\u2019m not really laughing. It\u2019s not the least bit funny, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben sighed, \u201cit\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSan Francisco isn\u2019t so far away. We could visit her, and she could come home occasionally.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I was thinking.\u00a0 We could even do it on a trial basis for now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMakes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess you\u2019ve got your answer,\u201d said Adam, feeling a little sick inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose it\u2019s settled then.\u201d Ben sat quietly for a few moments, chin in hand, looking glum. \u201cI\u2019ll talk to her in the morning. No sense putting it off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want me with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I think I\u2019d better handle this alone. She might not take it well, and maybe it will be easier if there\u2019s no one else around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019re being optimistic,\u201d said Adam. He did not envy his father.<\/p>\n

In a lighter moment, he might have appreciated the irony. Margaret Hightower had finally snagged a Cartwright, one nobody would have ever guessed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Thirteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Her father called her when she was on her way outside to finish her chores.<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly, would you come and sit down for a minute? I\u2019d like to talk to you about something.\u201d<\/p>\n

She followed his gesture and perched on the edge of the sofa. Being summoned for a sit-down conversation with Pa usually wasn\u2019t pleasant for the one being summoned. She wondered if Adam had told him about her foray into the corral with Black Star. That was days ago, though, and Pa didn\u2019t look angry; he looked worried. She waited while he fidgeted in his seat and cleared his throat. Then he leaned forward, patted her knee and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. And Mrs. Hightower have invited you to visit them in San Francisco. You\u2019d like that, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yes Pa, when can we go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSoon, very soon\u2014and they\u2019d like for you to stay a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s almost time for school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are schools in San Francisco. As a matter of fact, there\u2019s a wonderful school their daughters attended\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

She interrupted him, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t be staying that long.\u201d His hesitation disturbed her. \u201cYou don\u2019t mean stay there and go to school in San Francisco?\u201d He couldn\u2019t have meant that.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for a while, just to see how you like it,\u201d said Pa. \u201cAnd I\u2019m sure you will,\u201d he added, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could you possibly think I would like going to live with strangers in a strange town?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, Miles and Margaret aren\u2019t strangers. They\u2019re some of our oldest and dearest friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re your friends, not mine. I barely know them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSweetheart, I want you to listen very carefully. You\u2019re my only daughter, and there aren\u2019t enough words in all of language for me to tell you how much I love you, though I hope you already know that. I would never even consider this if I didn\u2019t believe it was for your own good. This is a wonderful opportunity for you. I\u2019ve talked it over with Adam and he agrees with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam. She might have known he had something to do with this.<\/p>\n

Pa kept talking, cajoling, reassuring, entreating, all in a valiant effort to persuade her, but his words didn\u2019t matter. She couldn\u2019t listen any more. Her heart pounded in her ears and her lungs felt empty. She took a deep breath and nearly choked on it.<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly, I\u2019m sorry you feel this way, but I\u2019ve made the decision because I feel it\u2019s best for you. Believe me when I say it\u2019s going to be difficult for all of us. You can make it harder or you can make it easier. It\u2019s up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was it, then. No further discussion. Hot tears stung her cheeks; she could hardly look at her father. \u201cMay I please be excused?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

She wasn\u2019t quick enough to avoid Hoss and Adam, who had just come in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, Little Bit\u2014where\u2019s the fire?\u201d Hoss teased.\u00a0 \u201cHey, what\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam knows.\u201d\u00a0 She whirled on him, \u201cPa always listens to you, doesn\u2019t he? I\u2019ll bet you can\u2019t wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly\u2026\u201d Adam caught her arm as she turned away but she jerked it free.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone!\u201d She raced up the stairs sobbing, and slammed the door to her room.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked stunned. \u201cAdam, what in the world was she talkin\u2019 about?\u201d<\/p>\n

His answer was a terse \u201cask Pa\u201d before walking out the door.<\/p>\n

~ * ~<\/p>\n

Jilly lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling through red rimmed, aching eyes, with her breath coming in ragged waves. It seemed like a bad dream, like the nightmares she had after the incident at Mason\u2019s Creek. At least then she could wake up the next morning and know that everything was all right. She was already awake, and Pa was sending her to San Francisco, away from her family, away from her home and everything she loved. Her whole world was crumbling, and she was powerless to stop it.<\/p>\n

She rolled over and reached for the picture on the side table. For the first time she could remember, she cried for her mother.<\/p>\n

~ * ~<\/p>\n

\u201cAnybody know what\u2019s eatin\u2019 older brother?\u201d Joe stood in the doorway, frowning. \u201cI just asked him a simple question and he nearly bit my head off!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben motioned him inside. Hoss shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben explained the situation, though daunted by the mounting anxiety in his youngest son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Pa, you can\u2019t \u2026 how could you even think of doing something like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHush up, Little Joe. You\u2019re not helpin\u2019 anything,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cYou know Pa is only doin\u2019 what he thinks is best.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how anyone can think it\u2019s best to ship her off to live with strangers! Jilly\u2019s a Cartwright, and we\u2019re her family, not the Hightowers!\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes filled. \u201cPa, you always said we take care of our own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, that\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m doing, in the best way I know how. Of course we\u2019re her family.\u00a0 That\u2019s never going to change. But she\u2019s a young girl, and her needs are…well, they\u2019re different from any of ours. I know it\u2019s hard for you to understand. I wish I knew a better way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s bottom lip trembled. \u201cShe needs us. This isn\u2019t right. It\u2019s not fair.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cSon, as you get older I\u2019m afraid you\u2019ll find there\u2019s so little in life that is fair, and so many painful decisions as a result. Sometimes we have to sacrifice what we want for what\u2019s necessary. The best way is often the hardest.\u201d<\/p>\n

~ * ~<\/p>\n

Ben knocked on Jilly\u2019s door but got no answer, so he opened it and peered inside. She lay curled up on the bed clutching a gold frame to her chest. When he eased it from her grasp she opened her eyes and sat up.<\/p>\n

He smiled, \u201cWelcome back, Sleeping Beauty. Are you feeling better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t even feel like myself anymore. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with me, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sat on the edge of the bed and patted her hand. \u201cSweetheart, there\u2019s nothing wrong with you. You\u2019re just growing up, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut sometimes\u2026sometimes I feel so sad, and not just today; it\u2019s\u2026I don\u2019t know what it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s because deep down you know you\u2019re leaving something behind. I\u2019m not talking about your home or your family because those things will always be here. But you aren\u2019t meant to be a little girl forever, even though I might like to keep you that way at times. The best part of your life is yet to come.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish things could just stay the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing ever stays the same.\u00a0 Time doesn\u2019t stand still and neither do we. \u00a0Change can be upsetting, but it can also be a good thing, though sometimes you don\u2019t see the good until you\u2019ve had a chance to walk down the road and look back from a distance.\u201d<\/p>\n

She picked up the picture again and traced her finger around the face in the frame. \u201cThings would be different if my mother was here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, things would be different for all of us. But since she\u2019s not here, we just have to do the best that we can. That\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to do.\u201d He raised her chin with a finger.\u00a0 \u201cWill you help me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes were pooling as she nodded.<\/p>\n

His expression was tender but his voice was firm. \u201cI want you to understand something, Jilly.\u00a0 I\u2019m your father, and I make the decisions for this family, not Adam. Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded again.<\/p>\n

He held her as she sobbed into his chest. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, honey. It\u2019s not the end of the world, even if it feels that way right now.\u00a0 Everything will be all right, you\u2019ll see. In the meantime, a good cry never hurt anybody. \u00a0Believe me, your old Pa knows a thing or two about that,\u201d he murmured through his own tears.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Supper was a dismal affair in Adam\u2019s opinion. \u00a0He had apologized to Joe for snapping at him earlier; still, the boy moped through the entire meal. \u00a0Pa and Hoss made admirable attempts at lighthearted conversation, but the mood at the table dispelled their efforts. \u00a0Adam had to admit he wasn\u2019t very helpful. Hop Sing had prepared one of Jilly\u2019s favorites, chicken and dumplings, and when he asked her why she wasn\u2019t eating she burst into tears and asked to be excused. The rest of them finished in silence; apparently misery didn\u2019t always love company.\u00a0 Adam escaped the gloomy atmosphere by volunteering to tend the stock.<\/p>\n

He lingered on the front steps as the house dimmed behind him. \u00a0From a field of stars, the moon poured its light at his feet and spilled it across the yard, shimmering in the lilac-tinged air. \u00a0A night fit for poets and lovers, he might have noted; but his mind was preoccupied with weightier matters. He couldn\u2019t forget the look on Jilly\u2019s face when she had confronted him that morning. \u00a0It was gut-wrenching to see her so distraught, and whether or not she realized it, she wasn\u2019t the only one hurting.\u00a0 Did she really believe he would be glad to see her go?\u00a0 If so, he wondered how he could have failed her all these years.<\/p>\n

The front door creaked, and he turned to see a lithe figure in a nightgown. \u201cWhat are you doing up? I thought you went to bed a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t sleep,\u201d said Jilly. \u201cI\u2019ve been waiting for you to come in. \u00a0I wanted to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He patted the step next to him. She sat down, bundling her knees to her chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry for what I said to you today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay. People get upset and say things they don\u2019t mean. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I did mean it.\u00a0 I wanted to hurt you, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see. You know it\u2019s not true, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat I\u2019ll be glad to see you go\u2014nothing could be further from the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

She dropped her head. \u201cI know. I just said that to be mean, because I wanted to make you feel bad. I guess I\u2019m a mean, rotten person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you\u2019re just about the meanest, rottenest person I know.\u201d\u00a0 He elbowed her for emphasis.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you thinking right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m thinking\u2026maybe I shouldn\u2019t think too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I was the first time I left home, and I was much older than you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t lie to you, Jilly\u2014never have, never will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hard for me to picture you being scared of anything. You\u2019re just about the bravest person I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re pretty brave yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head, \u201cNot me. I\u2019m nothing like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me something.\u00a0 Were you scared when you rode to the Paiute camp?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMostly terrified.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you ever think about how much courage it takes to do something that scares you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t do it because I was brave. I had to do it. I didn\u2019t have a choice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure you did.\u00a0 You had the same choices everyone has\u2014face your fear or run from it. Jilly, you didn\u2019t run. We all saw that.\u201d He put his arm around her and took a deep breath. \u201cSometimes life comes hard and fast, and there are things you can\u2019t ride around.\u00a0 I guess this is one of those things, and I\u2019m sorry if it was put to you badly because no one ever meant to hurt you.\u00a0 But you\u2019re brave, and you\u2019re smart, and you\u2019re strong. And I know you\u2019ll show everyone exactly who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her smile was soft, and if he\u2019d had the power to freeze a moment in time, it would have been that one\u2014Jilly in the moonlight, with her hair hanging down and the stars in her eyes, on the steps at the edge of the rest of her life.\u00a0 He knew that\u2019s how he would remember her, long after that night and even years after she was gone.<\/p>\n

She shivered; he drew her closer, rubbing her shoulder. \u201cCold? Should we go inside?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet.\u201d She nestled under his arm. \u201cI like it here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Later that night, when Jilly was tucked in bed for good, Adam still couldn’t still sleep. \u00a0After tossing and turning for several minutes, he got up, lit the lamp and took out\u00a0pen and paper while the evening was still fresh in his mind. \u00a0It took him a couple of hours, but he was satisfied in the end. \u00a0He folded the paper\u00a0and stuck it inside a folio that contained a few others he had written over the years.\u00a0\u00a0Likely no one else would ever read them.<\/p>\n

Then again, maybe he would show this one to\u00a0her.\u00a0\u00a0Someday.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is a girl both young and fair<\/em><\/p>\n

As sweet and lovely as can be<\/em><\/p>\n

A rosebud on the brink of bloom<\/em><\/p>\n

Wise in ways she cannot see<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So brightly shines her tender light<\/em><\/p>\n

It shames the stars from whence she came<\/em><\/p>\n

Heaven’s gift, by Love and Grace<\/em><\/p>\n

Where all the angels know her name<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The moon falls softly on her face<\/em><\/p>\n

And rings a halo ’round her hair<\/em><\/p>\n

A moment, soon a memory<\/em><\/p>\n

Would that I could keep her there<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her laughter is my soul’s delight<\/em><\/p>\n

And at her smile my heart can break<\/em><\/p>\n

Unknowingly, she passes by<\/em><\/p>\n

Leaving stardust in her wake<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright, 1857<\/p>\n

(The title was added later. \u00a0He called it\u00a0Jilly in the Moonlight<\/em>)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Fourteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWake up, sunshine! You ain\u2019t plannin\u2019 to sleep all day, are ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly squinted one eye open. \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nearly seven o\u2019clock,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cI figured we better get an early start before it gets too hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo hot for what?\u201d She sat up and yawned.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor fishin\u2019. I got us a picnic all packed so we can have our breakfast down at the creek. You better hurry up and get dressed. You can\u2019t go fishin\u2019 in your nightgown.\u201d<\/p>\n

The morning was mildly crisp. Jilly closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of pine and cedar as Hoss maneuvered the buckboard between the sunlight-dappled trees. She laughed at his inimitable version of \u201cWhere have you been, Billy boy?\u201d It had always been one of her favorites, especially the way he sang, \u201cShe\u2019s a young thing and cannot leave her motherrrr.\u201d<\/p>\n

The world seemed perfect. If only it could stay this way.<\/p>\n

Hoss pulled up on the reins before they reached the creek. \u201cI thought we might stop here for a few minutes. I wanna show you somethin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

They left the wagon and walked up a rise. At the crest, Jilly gasped at a view she had never seen before, a stunning panorama of sky, trees and mountains reflected in brilliant blue-green waters.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt does kinda take your breath away, don\u2019t it?\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we have our breakfast here?\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned. \u201cI was hopin\u2019 you\u2019d say that.\u201d<\/p>\n

They spread out a quilt and unloaded the picnic basket of ham, biscuits, hard boiled eggs, potatoes, and some of Hop Sing\u2019s sugared doughnuts. Jilly laughed at the quantity of food Hoss had packed, but soon realized she was hungrier than she thought, and together they made a sizable dent in the supply by the end of the meal.<\/p>\n

Afterwards, Hoss stretched out on his back, hands beneath his head, yawning. \u00a0Jilly sat cross-legged, facing the lake. Surely, there was no more beautiful place in the whole world than this one. There couldn\u2019t possibly be.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dreamed about my mother last night,\u201d she said, staring into the distance.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I mean, I don\u2019t remember anything except that she was there. I couldn\u2019t see her face, but I knew it was her.\u201d She paused, picking idly at some grass. \u201cI wish I could remember her the way everyone else does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you could, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d think I would remember something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you weren\u2019t even two years old.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll my memories are of you and Pa and Joe and Adam. You\u2019re all I know. I\u2019ve never even been to San Francisco. I\u2019ve never been anywhere but here.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sat up and moved closer to her, his brows drawn together. \u201cJilly, I know leavin\u2019 is gonna be hard for you\u2014it\u2019s gonna be hard for all of us; believe me, that\u2019s the truth\u2014but I also know Pa would never ask you to do anything that would hurt you. Now I\u2019m not smart like him and Adam, and I don\u2019t know much, but I do know a thing or two about animals. You take baby birds, for instance. They don\u2019t know they can fly, even though they\u2019re born to it. But that old mama bird, she just pushes \u2018em out one day, \u2018cause she knows they\u2019re ready. It\u2019s probably a shock at first, but can you imagine how they must feel when they find out they\u2019ve got wings? Instead of hittin\u2019 the ground they go soarin\u2019 off into the sky.\u201d His blue eyes sparkled as he smiled. \u201cI reckon that\u2019s how it is with some people. Sometimes they need a little push to help \u2018em to see what they can do, and I think a gal like you could do most anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly wiped her eyes, smiling in return. Whenever Hoss said he didn\u2019t know much, he usually ended up saying something wise in a way she could understand. \u201cI don\u2019t know about that,\u201d she said, \u201cbut I think you\u2019re one of the smartest people I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe? Aw shucks,\u201d Hoss blushed at the compliment, grinning. \u201cWell, I guess we better get a move on if we\u2019re gonna do any fishin\u2019 today.\u201d He put on his hat. \u201cI\u2019m feelin\u2019 pretty lucky, how \u2018bout you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lucky.\u00a0 Oddly enough, that\u2019s exactly how she felt at that moment.<\/p>\n

~ * ~<\/p>\n

Their luck didn\u2019t extend to fishing though, at least not until the end of the day. And it was Jilly who turned out to be the lucky one. Hoss whistled in admiration at the size of the trout on the end of her line. \u201cDon\u2019t that beat all? We\u2019ve been out here all day without a bite and just about the time we\u2019re ready to leave, you go and land Old Jake!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?”<\/p>\n

\u201cOld Jake. I\u2019ve nearly caught him several times myself, but he\u2019s a smart ole dodger, always managed to get away from me. Yes sir, he\u2019s been real lucky, right up until today.\u201d<\/p>\n

The sight of the big fish struggling before her touched her heart. \u201cCould we put him back?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked surprised. \u201cYou really wanna do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Seems like he\u2019s lived here a long time. Let\u2019s just let him go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

He unhooked the prize catch and looked the fish square in the eye. \u201cAll right, you ornery cuss, looks like this was your lucky day after all. But you watch out next time,\u201d he warned, tossing him into the water, \u201c\u2018cuz if I catch ya, I dang sure ain\u2019t throwin\u2019 ya back!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood luck, fish!\u201d Jilly hollered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll need it,\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n

They both laughed, and it felt good. They were packing their things to go home when Jilly realized something. In spite of everything and to her great surprise, she was happy. There were still things to laugh about, things to appreciate. Maybe her world was wider and stronger than she had imagined.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ready?\u201d Hoss had already finished loading the buckboard.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost.\u201d \u00a0Jilly scooped a mound of fresh earth from the creek bank into a small bottle and replaced the stopper. She put it in her pocket and climbed into the seat next to her brother. \u201cReady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you have a good time today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToday was one of the best days of my life.\u201d She meant it.<\/p>\n

He grinned. \u201cIt ain\u2019t over yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

On the way back to the house, they stopped at the corral. \u201cLooks like Black Star\u2019s gettin\u2019 used to his new home,\u201d said Hoss as they watched Adam slip the bridle freely over the stallion\u2019s head and fasten the bit in his mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d said Jilly, climbing onto the railing. A person might get used to a toothache; that didn\u2019t mean he liked it.<\/p>\n

Adam led the horse over to them. \u201cSo how was the fishing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly caught Old Jake, but she was in too generous a mood to keep him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that a fact?\u201d A smile played on Adam\u2019s lips. \u201cHere,\u201d he said to her. \u201cI thought you might want to say hello to your friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you mean goodbye?\u201d She stroked Black Star\u2019s nose. \u201cI\u2019m leaving tomorrow, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her brothers exchanged glances over her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you\u2019ll be selling him now that he\u2019s broken.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam patted the stallion\u2019s neck. \u201cWell, that was what we had planned, but Hoss and I talked it over and decided to keep him. He\u2019s sort of grown on me, now that we\u2019ve reached a mutual understanding. Besides, pretty soon you\u2019ll outgrow that pony of yours. We thought you might like to have this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly\u2019s eyes widened. She looked from one face to the other, unable to speak.<\/p>\n

Hoss winked at her. Adam chuckled, \u201cHoss, I think we stumped her. She can\u2019t think of anything to say.\u201d He leaned over and chucked her under the chin. \u201cBetter close your mouth before the flies get in.\u201d<\/p>\n

She swallowed hard. \u201cCan I ride him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019re quite ready for each other yet. But when you are, he\u2019ll be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss smiled. \u201cWe\u2019ll take good care of him for ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you hear that, boy?\u201d she murmured, nuzzling him. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna be mine. How about that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss laughed, \u201cCome on, Little Bit, let\u2019s go get cleaned up. I\u2019m as hungry as a bear!\u201d He patted her on the back as she fell in beside him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold on,\u201d Adam called after her, \u201cI think you dropped something.\u201d He bent down and retrieved an object from the ground. It was a small bottle filled with dirt. \u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d he asked, examining it before handing it back to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing really,\u201d she replied without looking at him. \u201cJust something I picked up.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Jilly emerged from the bathhouse, refreshed by a long soak and scrub.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s about time!\u201d Joe sounded as irritated as he looked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, did you need in there? I thought you had a bath last month.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny. For your information, I had one yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what are you complaining about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted to talk to you. You were gone all day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m here now. What do you wanna talk about?\u201d She sat down on the porch step, waiting.<\/p>\n

Joe cleared his throat and looked a little uncomfortable. \u201cUm, here, I got you a present.\u201d He held out an object wrapped in a dark green bandana.<\/p>\n

Jilly untied the knot and grinned. \u201cHow thoughtful,\u201d she said, holding it up. \u201cMy very own salt shaker.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI made real sure the lid fits good and tight,\u201d he said, pointing to the top.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sat down beside her, his green eyes serious. \u201cI\u2019m really gonna miss you, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly bit her lip. She knew she would cry later, but they had time yet before goodbye. \u201cProbably not half as much as I\u2019ll miss you, but first we\u2019re gonna have a great time together in San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet we are\u2014I can\u2019t wait to see the Barbary Coast!\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed. Next to his sense of humor, the thing she admired most about Joe was his unshakable optimism. \u201cIf you think Pa\u2019s gonna let you anywhere near that place you probably think pigs can fly.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged, \u201cHey, a fella can dream, can\u2019t he? By the way, that\u2019s my new neck cloth,\u201d he said, pointing to the bandana in her hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is? Gee, thanks. It\u2019s real nice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly, it\u2019s not part of the gift.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Joe, you gave it to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean to\u2026I just used it for wrapping. You can give it back now, if you don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but I do mind. I think I\u2019ll just keep it.\u201d She stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Jilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you want it, you\u2019ll have to catch me,\u201d she said over her shoulder as she took off running.<\/p>\n

Shouts and laughter lured Ben to the window. Those two<\/em>, he smiled, watching them through misty eyes. The bittersweet moment caught in his throat. It\u2019s the right thing,<\/em> he reminded himself.\u00a0 Please God, don\u2019t let it be a mistake.<\/em><\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Exhaustion overtook Jilly at supper; Adam caught her just as she was about to tumble out of her chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got her, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

He carried her up to her room and laid her on the bed, removing her boots and covering her with the quilt. Her trunk was packed except for a few things laid out on her dresser, among them the picture of her mother, the silver comb he had given her, and\u2026a salt shaker?\u00a0 He lingered in the doorway, thinking how empty the room would be tomorrow. It pained him that he\u2019d be gone when she woke up but it couldn\u2019t be helped. Things don\u2019t always work out according to plan. He hoped she would understand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Fifteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jilly stood in front of the mirror, appraising her appearance. She hated wearing a bonnet and was sure she wouldn\u2019t be able to stand it all the way to San Francisco, but Pa liked it so she put it on to please him. The dress suited her, though. It was a deep red smartly trimmed in black. Adam had picked it out. She frowned. Where was he? What could be more important to him than her leaving? No one seemed to be able to tell her, only that he had promised to be in Genoa by noon to see her off.<\/p>\n

Pa appeared behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. \u201cYou\u2019re a lovely young lady, even more so when you smile.\u201d He smiled at her reflection, and she obliged him in return. \u201cIt\u2019s time to go,\u201d he said softly. \u201cAre you ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

She took one last look around the room. Don\u2019t cry, not here, not now<\/em>. She took a deep breath. \u201cYes, I\u2019m ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss were waiting for them outside along with Hop Sing. Jilly turned to the cook. \u201cGoodbye, Hop Sing. You won\u2019t forget me, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot forget,\u201d he said, accepting her hug and patting her on the back. \u201cHop Sing watch Little Missy grow from tiny baby to fine girl. You come back fine lady.\u201d He dabbed at his eyes with his apron as he waved goodbye.<\/p>\n

Jilly waved back, watching him grow smaller and smaller, along with the house she grew up in, until both disappeared from view.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t wait any longer, Mr. Cartwright. I got a schedule to meet,\u201d said Chet.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d said Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose Adam must have been detained. Come on, Jilly, we\u2019d better get aboard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe bounced inside the coach, impatient for the journey to begin. \u201cHurry up, you\u2019re holdin\u2019 up the stage!\u201d he yelled out the door.<\/p>\n

Jilly couldn’t imagine leaving without saying goodbye. \u201cHoss, why isn\u2019t he here? Do you suppose something happened to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow don\u2019t you worry about Adam; he can take care of himself. He said he\u2019d be here; there must be a really good reason why he ain\u2019t,\u201d He reassured her with a tender smile. \u201cWe\u2019re gonna come see ya in San Francisco first chance we get, and we\u2019ll have us a big ol\u2019 time, ya hear?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded, blinking tears. \u201cI love you, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pulled her into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cI love you too, Little Bit, and I\u2019ll miss ya every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll miss you more,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see how that\u2019s possible.\u201d\u00a0 After a few seconds, he peeled her away from him and walked her over to the stage where Joe was hanging out the window.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe, you better behave yourself in the big city.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind about me, Hoss, you just make sure Hop Sing doesn\u2019t catch you in the kitchen,\u201d laughed Joe.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned to Ben, \u201cDon\u2019t worry about nothin\u2019 \u2018round here, Pa. Me an\u2019 Adam\u2019ll take good care of everything while you\u2019re gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you will, son. I just wish he had gotten here in time to see her off. I was afraid this would happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too. I tried to talk him out of it but you know how he is when he gets somethin\u2019 in his head. Maybe he can catch up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben clapped him on the shoulder in farewell and climbed into the coach. Hoss closed the door and stepped back as the stage began to roll. Jilly waved to him from the window, forlorn.<\/p>\n

They had no sooner pulled out of town before Joe began poking around in the picnic basket Hop Sing had generously stocked for the trip. \u201cGo easy on that food, Joe,\u201d Ben laughed. \u201cI\u2019m sure Hop Sing intended for it to last more than just the first ten miles.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, taking full advantage of the fact that the three of them were the only passengers on the stage, lounged on the opposite seat with a half-eaten drumstick. \u201cPa, I\u2019m a growin\u2019 boy,\u201d he mumbled through a mouthful of chicken.<\/p>\n

Jilly acknowledged their bantering with a polite smile, but her mind was on Adam, wherever he was. What could have been so important to keep him away this morning? \u00a0She didn\u2019t know when she would see him again.\u00a0 Did he even care? She stared from the window at the road behind them, the road that led back to the only home she had ever known and all the people she loved.<\/p>\n

A rider appeared in the distance, in a great hurry. There was something familiar about him that made Jilly lean out for a better look, and her heart leaped into her throat. \u201cStop!\u201d she cried to the driver. \u201cPlease, stop!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben caught her by the waist for fear she would topple out the window. \u201cJilly! What in the world do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! It\u2019s Adam! Tell him to stop!\u201d<\/p>\n

He peered down the road at the approaching rider, and then bellowed up to Chet. The surprised driver had no idea what was going on, but he immediately responded to Ben\u2019s command. The horses slowed.<\/p>\n

As soon as the wheels stopped turning, Jilly dashed from the coach, her bonnet trailing.\u00a0 Ben and Joe emerged behind her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou made it.\u201d She stopped in front of him, her eyes shining.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you, son. Joe, why don\u2019t we stretch our legs a bit?\u201d He picked up the bonnet and dusted it off as they walked away.<\/p>\n

Adam pushed his hat away from his forehead, regarding his sister with a playful smirk. \u201cWell, are you just gonna stand there or what?\u201d<\/p>\n

She launched herself at him with such a force he had to steady them both. He exhaled a sigh, feeling almost out of breath himself, and not just from the ride.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do love me,\u201d she grinned up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much,\u201d he grinned back. \u201cI brought you something. Close your eyes and give me your hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

He placed the object in her palm.\u00a0 She opened her eyes and drew a breath. \u201cIt\u2019s beautiful,\u201d she whispered, tracing the engraving on the gold heart locket with her finger.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt belonged to my mother. The chain was broken,\u201d he explained. \u201cI asked Mr. Kaufman to get a new one for me last week in Sacramento. He was supposed to bring it to the ranch yesterday but he was delayed, so I went to meet him this morning.\u201d \u00a0He knew he would probably collapse when he got home, but this single moment made it worth every bone-jarring mile.<\/p>\n

The tears welling in her eyes spilled onto her cheeks. “Adam, are you sure you want me to have this?”<\/p>\n

“Quite sure.” He took the locket and fastened it around her neck, fumbling a little because his fingers were trembling. \u201cYou\u2019re the only girl I ever loved at first sight, Jilly. You\u2019ve had a big piece of my heart since the day you were born. This is to remind you that no matter where you go and no matter where I am, that will never change.\u00a0 There, it looks perfect.\u201d he smiled. \u201cIt\u2019s not supposed to make you sad, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sad…I\u2019m \u2026I\u2019m just full, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

He studied the rosy elfin face that would undoubtedly break hearts one day. In truth, it had already begun. \u201cI know the feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben and Joe returned to the coach, signaling the need for their departure.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess you can\u2019t keep San Francisco waiting any longer. Just remember, you\u2019re only on loan to the Hightowers,\u201d he said as he handed her up to his father. \u201cYou\u2019re a Cartwright, and don\u2019t you forget it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled. \u201cI won\u2019t forget.\u201d She leaned out the window and waved as the stage lurched forward. \u201cI love you, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He blew her a kiss and felt the ache in his chest as the stage vanished through the trees. \u00a0The little girl who was leaving on it would not be coming back. At least he no longer had to hide his tears.<\/p>\n

Goodbye Jilly.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Jilly fingered the locket around her neck, smiling. She knew she would miss her family, but she no longer worried about losing them. The ties that bound them together extended far beyond the edges of the Ponderosa; she understood that now.<\/p>\n

A rumbling snore from her father beside her disrupted her thoughts. She and Joe grinned at each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019ve had that seat to yourself long enough. Move over and hand me that picnic basket before you eat everything in it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe held up his hands in friendly protest. \u201cHey, I only had two pieces of chicken and three cookies, maybe four\u2026okay, five at the most. And if you want this basket, see if you can take it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sat down next to him and made a grab for it, but surprised him by tickling him instead. Joe let out a whoop that woke Pa, who glared at them with one fierce eye, sending them both into fits of laughter so contagious even he couldn\u2019t resist joining in.<\/p>\n

Later, in a quiet moment while Pa and Joe both slept, Jilly tilted her head out the window, letting the breeze rake her hair as she pondered the road in front of her. Maybe, just maybe, San Francisco wouldn\u2019t be so bad after all\u2026.<\/p>\n

It was her turn to fly, and she was ready.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/strong><\/p>\n

A few weeks later, the Cartwright brothers gathered in the great room as their father read an important letter postmarked \u201cSan Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dear Pa, Adam, Hoss, and Joe,<\/em><\/p>\n

I hope you are all well. I am fine. I\u2019ve made a lot of friends at my new school, and my teacher Miss Somervell is very nice (and pretty, if anyone is interested). We had our first writing assignment the other day.\u00a0 We had to write about ourselves and our families and also something we learned this year. Miss S. said it made her look forward to meeting all of you, so I think she liked it. Aunt Margaret thought you would like to read it too, and Uncle Miles wants to post it this afternoon so I have to hurry. I promise I will write again soon.\u00a0 I love you all very much.<\/em><\/p>\n

Jilly<\/em><\/p>\n

P.S. Adam, I love the poem you wrote. It made me cry, but only in a good way.<\/em><\/p>\n

Everyone looked at Adam.\u00a0 He shrugged, \u201cIt was just a little something I put in her trunk before she left\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled and continued reading.<\/p>\n

Me, My Family, and Things I\u2019ve Learned<\/em><\/p>\n

My real name is Jillian, but no one calls me that unless I\u2019m in trouble, so most of the time I\u2019m just Jilly. I grew up on a ranch with my father and three older brothers. I don\u2019t remember my mother because she died when I was still a baby.\u00a0 Some people might think I missed a lot growing up without her, and I never thought I did because my family always made sure I had everything I needed, and besides, how can you miss someone you never knew?\u00a0 But I was wrong, and everyone seemed to know that except me.<\/em><\/p>\n

He cleared his throat a couple of times before continuing.<\/p>\n

I used to think growing up meant being big enough to saddle your own horse, but now I know it\u2019s more than that and a lot harder. I probably learned more this summer than any other time in my life. I learned that being afraid doesn\u2019t mean you aren\u2019t brave, and sometimes other people know you better than you know yourself.\u00a0 The best gifts aren\u2019t always new or expensive, and home is more than just a place, it\u2019s also people who care about you.<\/em><\/p>\n

Some people say our family is rich, and if we are, it\u2019s not because of how big our ranch is or how many cows we own or how much money we have in the bank. Pa says\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben paused for a few seconds to wipe his eyes. \u00a0Adam stood up and took the letter from him, put his hand on his father\u2019s shoulder and continued:<\/p>\n

\u00a0Pa says a person can have all that and more and still be as poor as a pauper, and he\u2019s generally right about those kinds of things. Pa believes what St. Paul told the Corinthians, that love is the most important thing, and without it nothing else matters. I think I\u2019m finally beginning to understand that. The funny thing about love is that sometimes it makes you happy, and sometimes it makes you sad, but it always makes you better because it makes you care about someone more than yourself.\u00a0 I guess that\u2019s the biggest and hardest thing I learned this year.\u00a0 If love is what makes a person rich, then we Cartwrights might be richer than anyone. Other than that, I\u2019d have to say we\u2019re a pretty regular family.<\/em><\/p>\n

Jilly Cartwright, 1857<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam sighed, folded the letter and laid it on the desk without looking at the others. Ben sniffed a few times. \u00a0Hoss flicked at the toe of his boot and stared at the floor.<\/p>\n

Joe stood up. \u201cWhat\u2019s everybody mopin\u2019 around here for?\u00a0 This ranch doesn\u2019t run itself, you know.\u201d\u00a0 He retrieved his hat from the hook on the wall and opened the door. \u201cAre you comin\u2019 or not?\u201d<\/p>\n

His father and brothers looked at each another and laughed.\u00a0 One by one they followed him.<\/p>\n

A few moments later, Joe came back inside alone.\u00a0 He went to the desk and reread the letter, smiling through tears.\u00a0 I guess I can\u2019t call you Brainless anymore.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then he folded it, put it in the drawer, and hurried out to join the rest of his family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0END<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are two gifts we should give our children.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

One is roots, and the other is wings.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Character Acknowledgements:\u00a0 Abigail Jones and Ma Nutley appeared in \u201cThe Wooing of Abigail Jones\u201d written by Norman Lessing. Tukwa appeared in \u201cDeath on Sun Mountain\u201d written by Gene L. Coon and David Dortort. Lean Knife appeared in \u201cMr. Henry Comstock\u201d written by David Dortort. (Winnemucca and Saratucci are fictionalized versions of historical figures and also appeared in this episode.) \u00a0The Hightowers are original characters with no relation to Bessie Sue. \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

For a complete, up to date list of my stories, check out<\/strong>\u00a0JC’s Author Page<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: An exploration of perhaps the most controversial subject in Bonanza fanfiction — what if Ben and Marie also had a daughter? But this is not a story about a Cartwright sister. \u00a0Though viewed through a different lens, it’s a story about a family we all know and love, whose relationships are tested and reaffirmed in the face of the inevitable. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rating: K+ (27,784 words)<\/p>\n

Ties That Bind Series, links to stories within the series are included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10253,"featured_media":14402,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[7,23,1008,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14919","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-drama","category-family","category-prequels","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14919","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10253"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14919"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14919\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14919"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14919"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14919"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}