{"id":1511,"date":"2009-08-20T14:17:24","date_gmt":"2009-08-20T18:17:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1511"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:13:21","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:13:21","slug":"dressing-for-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1511","title":{"rendered":"Dressing for Success (by the Giggly Sisters)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>The Giggly Sisters have a rewarding time as they rifle through Joe’s wardrobe.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> T \u00a0WC \u00a02200<\/p>\n

Dressing for Success<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joe was idly leafing through the contents of his wardrobe, watched with great interest by Paw, the Giggly Sisters\u2019 pet bear. His dresser contained great amounts of shirts, but most of them looked to be almost identical, in a subdued shade of lightish brown. Or was that taupe? Or perhaps even beige? He looked at Paw, but the bear merely shrugged his furry shoulders and returned to unraveling the threads on Joe\u2019s candlewick bedspread. In the next drawer were some white shirts, but these were obviously for special occasions, as they were stiffly starched and looked a bit uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Succumbing to the inevitable, Joe pulled on a shirt and decided it was probably tan. He had vague memories of once owning a rather nifty black (or was it dark navy?) shirt and he wondered where that had gone. Probably Adam had disposed of it, for he had a marked aversion to ever wearing anything that remotely resembled an outfit being modelled by his father or brothers. A smile flitted across Joe\u2019s face as he remembered how proud Ben had been when he had bought matching tan suede waistcoats for all the family, along with dark brown neckerchiefs, which he insisted they should wear at a jaunty angle. How furiously Adam had reacted to that! Joe couldn\u2019t quite remember if that was the famous occasion his brother had thrown his hat on to the ground in a fit of pique, but he certainly hadn\u2019t been happy!<\/p>\n

Paw had spotted one of Joe\u2019s string ties, which was actually a satin ribbon, and was trying to tie it round his own neck, when the Giggly Sisters walked in. \u201cAw, look at Paw!\u201d exclaimed the redhead in delight. Her tresses were even more vibrantly coloured than usual, thanks to the addition of glittery hair mascara, courtesy of her eldest daughter. \u201cIsn\u2019t he sweet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust adorable,\u201d the blonde said, helping the wee bear tie a bow.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about me?\u201d Joe pouted attractively. \u201cAren\u2019t I adorable?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss, who happened to be passing just then, stuck his head round the door. \u201cJoe, you\u2019re cute,\u201d he asserted. \u201cAin\u2019t he cute, girls?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s cute,\u201d the sisters chorused adoringly. Joe smirked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing, poppet?\u201d asked the blonde, perching on the edge of the bed and taking Paw onto her lap. The little bear stuck his paw down her top with a contented smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just looking at my clothes,\u201d Joe said. \u201cThey all seem remarkably similar. I can\u2019t find that dark coloured shirt I used to wear in the early credits, and I really liked it. I wore it in The Gunmen, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe liked it as well,\u201d the redhead assured him, rifling through his drawers and showing off her experience of finding \u2018lost\u2019 clothes. However, the shirt stayed lost, despite her experience.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was quite fond of the pants I wore in the early seasons, too,\u201d Joe went on. \u201cThey were nice and long, but the seamstress in Virginia City seems to spend such a lot of time fitting them to my butt and\u2026\u201d Joe blushed and hastily went on. \u201cIt seems rude to complain that they\u2019re a bit short in the leg.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what happened to that nice grey-ish cord jacket you wore in season 1?\u201d asked the redhead. \u201cAnd your lovely blue one? I\u2019m not too fond of green, it has to be said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Joe answered, frustrated. \u201cI got up one day, went to get them, and they were gone. Like my black hat. I\u2019m sure I started wearing that tan one when Adam started wearing a black one.\u201d He had a closer look at the redhead\u2019s hair, deciding that it was redder than it had been the previous day. He had no idea how she accomplished that, but he liked the effect.<\/p>\n

He returned to his dresser and started leafing through his vast collection of pants. Once again, they were all depressingly similar: stone coloured, gratifying tight across the hips, but woefully short in the leg. Oh well, they were an improvement on the baggy ones he recalled wearing. Hoss flushed: for some reason all his trousers were baggy! And it got even worse when he was made to tuck them into his boots!<\/p>\n

Joe pulled out a pair of dress trousers, which were brown, with a faint stripe.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuite nice, poppet,\u201d the blonde commented, \u201cbut surely black would be more appropriate?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was beginning to get really mad now. At least Joe had some decent clothes to wear to parties, weddings etc!<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to wear that awful brown jacket!\u201d he said mournfully. Did the wardrobe department have something against him? And if so, why? He was a kind-hearted chap, a decent actor and was universally liked \u2013 so why were his clothes so unremittingly awful?<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not as bad as that hairy horse blanket they fashioned into a winter coat for you in The Last Hunt!\u201d the redhead said, trying to be helpful. The blonde had produced a bottle of champagne from her handbag and was pouring everyone a glass. Except Paw, who got a nice can of condensed milk, as he was still a baby.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I had to wear that appalling blue-checked number!\u201d Joe protested. \u201cYou must remember that, Hoss? It had that awful half-belt on the back and was far too big for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure do. But have you noticed, quite often we\u2019ll be riding along in our shirtsleeves, and then old Adam breezes up, wearing that custard-coloured number he\u2019s so fond of? Don\u2019t seem right, somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d blame the script girl,\u201d the blonde said sagely. \u201cShe never really seems to have a clue what\u2019s going on. I mean, have you noticed the way she always seems to keep Joe\u2019s feet covered up, even when he\u2019s in his nightshirt? Except, of course, for that wonderful scene in Springtime\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe quickly changed the subject, for the blonde\u2019s fascination with his feet was something he felt should be kept private and behind closed doors.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd of course, I\u2019m never allowed to have belt loops on my trousers, am I? What\u2019s that all about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam entered the room and everyone immediately looked at his trousers, which were sporting turn-ups of almost ludicrous proportions.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it raining outside?\u201d the redhead asked innocently.<\/p>\n

Adam scowled at the redhead wondering (not for the first time it must be said) if hair came that colour in nature. He was almost sure it didn\u2019t. Almost. \u201cRaining?\u201d he repeated. \u201cNo, why?\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead sniggered, but didn\u2019t reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you suppose the seamstress actually understands about fitting leg length?\u201d the blonde asked, eyeing Adam\u2019s turn-ups. \u201cBecause, Adam, those make your legs look very short indeed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked down at his legs, which he thought were perfectly in proportion to the rest of him. \u201cWhat seamstress?\u201d he asked, finally. \u201cI just bought these off the peg in the mercantile.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you dress like the rest of the family?\u201d asked the redhead.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t like to follow the crowd,\u201d Adam said, loftily. The redhead could sympathise with that, as she wasn\u2019t too keen on doing the same as everyone else either. Still, it wasn\u2019t quite the answer she was looking for.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what do you wear that custard-coloured coat?\u201d asked the blonde.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t believe some of the explanations I\u2019ve heard about that,\u201d the redhead said, in a stage whisper, to Joe. Joe, who\u2019d heard some of these highly unbelievable stories before, sniggered. Adam flushed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel the cold,\u201d he said, with dignity.<\/p>\n

\u201cIts useful for hidin\u2019 yer big bum, too,\u201d Hoss put in innocently. \u201cYou done told me that, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a joke!\u201d Adam hissed, and Hoss looked confused. It sure hadn\u2019t sounded like a joke the way Adam told it!<\/p>\n

The door opened, and Ben stuck his head in. \u201cWhat are you all doing in here?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was looking to see if I could find some of my favourite clothes,\u201d Joe answered. \u201cBut they seem to have disappeared.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben did one of those little \u201charrumph\u201d noises that he specialised in, and looked down at himself contentedly: yup, his conchos were all present and correct! Joe remembered all those excruciating times as a child when Ben had clasped him to his manly chest: boy, those metal conchos sure left an imprint on your cheek! Plus, it had to be said that leather wasn\u2019t the best material to snuggle up against. You came away rather sweaty and with crease marks all over your face.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaw?\u201d Hoss enquired tentatively and both Ben and the bear turned around expectantly. Not for the first time, Hoss wondered why he spoke so differently to the rest of his family. He cast an enquiring look towards the supremely inept script girl, but once again she was out to lunch. Literally and figuratively.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I have to wear this dumb hat?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled indulgently and ogled the Giggly Sisters discretely. As the extras were wont to say, they sure were prime dames!<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s called a sugar loaf hat, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss took umbrage at this. \u201cNo it ain\u2019t! Anyone who says that is just trying it on sumthin\u2019 fierce. It\u2019s a monstrosity, that\u2019s what it is!\u201d Mind you, it did come in handy for stowing the odd snack for elevenses under. You could pack in an entire roast chicken in there and still have room for an apple pie and the odd carrot or two.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least your hat doesn\u2019t have those rather disturbing undertones of S and M that Adam\u2019s bondage hat-band has,\u201d the blonde reassured him. Adam bristled rather at this and flaunted his hairy chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cPut it away!\u201d the redhead shrieked, being of a delicate disposition. All that wiry hair had an incredibly disturbing likeness to something else and it made her feel rather sick. Adam gave one of his thin smiles, in which his top lip almost seemed to disappear completely and revelled in the fact that he still had a disturbing effect on ladies.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing breezed in at this point. \u201cYou think you\u2019ve got problems?\u201d he enquired testily, in a perfect RP accent that gave him an uncanny resemblance to Prince Charles (if you closed your eyes and fast-forwarded to 1948). \u201cCount yourselves lucky that you don\u2019t have to wear these bloody demeaning silk jammies and matching hat!\u201d With that, he flounced out of the room, wondering why he had ever left the Charlie Chan films. He\u2019d been able to wear a perfectly acceptable lounge suit in them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been wanting to ask you something for ages.\u201d The blonde was standing very close to Joe and her soft tones whispered gently against his sticky-out ears, which actually were very convenient for someone who regularly wore a hat, as they stopped it from sliding down over his nose.<\/p>\n

Joe flashed her an adoring smile. Had she noticed the way his stand-in liked to wear black boots just to confuse the viewers? On second thoughts, given her predilection for his feet, perhaps it was best not to go there. He goosed the redhead instead.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are left-handed, aren\u2019t you?\u201d asked the blonde and a slow smile came over Joe\u2019s outrageously handsome face, as he ran his hand through his hair, rumpling his curls so that one fell tantalisingly over his forehead. He knew what was coming!<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure am honey!\u201d A lazy grin crept across his face as he anticipated the next question.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why…\u201d A paroxysm of infection giggles overtook the blonde, causing Adam to clap his hands over his ears in protest. A bad back was enough to cope with; he certainly didn\u2019t need tinnitus too. Crowing and whooping with laughter, the blonde was unable to continue, so the redhead took up the tale.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s not logical and it simply doesn\u2019t fit with the facts. I mean, no discerning viewer can have failed to notice that you dress to the left! Doesn\u2019t that make things a little, \u2026err, um \u2026 tricky?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked positively mortified. He tried to bring his sons up as decent, God-fearing men and then these girls came along and started noticing all the little inconsequential incongruities that were perfectly normal for one of Nevada\u2019s most prominent families. He put his head in his hands: the worst he had imagined was that the sisters would bring up the dreadful headband Adam modelled so disastrously in The Savage and The Crucible. It was almost on a par with his hammy, over-the-top performance in both episodes. Luckily, the family interaction scenes had been kept to a minimum, for he wasn\u2019t sure he\u2019d have been able to keep a straight face during his son\u2019s worst excesses. But this was infinitely worse.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes (were they hazel or were they green?) twinkled beguilingly as he looked at the sisters with undisguised delight. Their honesty was so refreshing!<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney,\u201d he drawled, lowering his voice exactly 3 semitones, to devastating effect, \u201cThat\u2019ll take an entire story to itself!\u201d<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0The Giggly Sisters have a rewarding time as they rifle through Joe’s wardrobe.<\/p>\n

Rated: T \u00a0WC \u00a02200<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":9720,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":553,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Adam-Joe.jpg?fit=223%2C222&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1552,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1552","url_meta":{"origin":1511,"position":0},"title":"Kidnapping the Brothers (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0In their 50th outing, the Giggly Sisters join forces with their friends from the BonanzainAussie board. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC 2400","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1515,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1515","url_meta":{"origin":1511,"position":1},"title":"Hanging Around (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The weather is getting colder and the Cartwrights discuss their winter jackets, under the watchful gaze of the Giggly Sisters, and Pa. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC 1900","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1539,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1539","url_meta":{"origin":1511,"position":2},"title":"Is This A Fireplace I See Before Me? 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Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01900","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1562,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1562","url_meta":{"origin":1511,"position":3},"title":"Mirror Mirror… (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Miscellaneous musings as the Cartwrights prepare for an evening out, keenly observed by the Giggly Sisters. 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Rated: K+ \u00a0WC 1700","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":64,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=64","url_meta":{"origin":1511,"position":5},"title":"A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Did Adam really shoot Joe by accident in My Brother's Keeper? 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