{"id":15205,"date":"2009-03-07T20:03:04","date_gmt":"2009-03-08T01:03:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15205"},"modified":"2026-03-05T08:19:46","modified_gmt":"2026-03-05T13:19:46","slug":"pride-comes-before-a-fall-by-joans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15205","title":{"rendered":"Pride Comes Before A Fall (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0Adam prepares to apply for Harvard.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (37,050 words)<\/p>\n

Pride Comes Before A Fall<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright flattened his nose against the glass and opened his eyes wide as he surveyed all the wonderful items in the store window. \u201cHey Joe!\u201d he shouted. \u201cCome and look at all these things!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He moved over slightly as his little brother tried to push him out of the way to get a closer look. \u201cLookee there Joe,\u201d he said, pointing to the array of glass jars that could be seen inside. They were all filled with the most wonderful selection of candy that any boy\u2019s heart could wish for and both of them gave a small sigh in unison.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey got liquorice,\u201d said Joe excitedly, also flattening his nose against the glass in imitation of his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd gumdrops,\u201d added Hoss wistfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd peppermint sticks,\u201d said Joe, pointing to them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd lemon drops,\u201d added Hoss with a sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Behind them, their father smiled at their older brother Adam as he reached into his pocket. \u201cHow would you two like to get some candy for me?\u201d he teased. \u201cI just feel like something sweet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both boys instantly turned around to face their father, their eyes shining in anticipation. \u201cReally Pa?\u201d asked Hoss, eyeing off the two pennies that his father held up in his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally,\u201d said Ben, placing a penny on each of their palms. \u201cAnd if you\u2019re good I might even let you eat it for me. Now scoot!\u201d He chuckled as the two boys nearly tripped over each other in their attempts to be the first to get into the store. \u201cThat should keep them busy for about ten minutes,\u201d he said to Adam as he bent down and helped the young man to lift a large sack of flour into the back of the buckboard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t reply, but his face showed his amusement at his father\u2019s words, then for an instant it was replaced by a wistful one, as the memory of a small dark-haired boy of about Joe\u2019s age flashed into his mind. In those days he\u2019d looked just as longingly at the candy in store windows as his brothers now did, but the difference was that his father had very rarely been able to afford to buy him any. He shrugged as he considered that it was just another example of how much easier things were for the family now that they were beginning to make a bit of a profit on the ranch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he picked up a small barrel he considered how easy it would be to become resentful of his younger brothers who got to eat candy, sleep in the same bed each night and have the opportunity to go to school; things that he always dreamed of at their ages and yet never got to achieve. Well \u2026 the school part at least \u2026 for it was only two years ago that Virginia City had been able to afford a school teacher and by that time, he\u2019d been too old to attend. Besides, Pa had needed him on the ranch full time and there was no way that he could have allowed his eldest son the luxury of attending school full-time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced through the window at his two brothers who were jostling each other out of the way as they gave instructions to the storekeeper about which candy they wanted. He could never have resented anything those two got because of the way he felt about them. He was glad for them that their childhoods were going to be easier than his, but there were times when he couldn\u2019t help but wish that he\u2019d had the advantages they had, too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Many times he\u2019d envied other children in various towns they\u2019d passed through as he and his father … and later on baby Hoss \u2026.\u00a0 slowly made their way west. He remembered asking his father many times why he couldn\u2019t go to school and as he\u2019d grown older had learnt that the pained expression on the man\u2019s face was a sign that he should have held his tongue. As an adult looking back on the way it had been then, he realised that his father had done the best that he could for him in the circumstances, but still he had wished for more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPenny for your thoughts,\u201d said his father\u2019s voice behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned and smiled. \u201cI was just thinking how those two always argue about what kind of candy they\u2019ll get, and yet both of them will eat whatever the other one chooses anyway,\u201d he said, the lie coming easy to him as he faced his father. He didn\u2019t consider it lying so much as distorting the truth to spare the man\u2019s feelings, for rarely did he let on his innermost thoughts to anyone \u2026 especially when he knew that it would have hurt his father to hear them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam knew that his Pa had done an incredible job in raising the three of them in spite of all the tragedies that had befallen him over the years, and if he at times resented not having everything he\u2019d wanted as a child then it was not for lack of Ben Cartwright trying. He remembered the efforts his father had taken with him to teach him to read and know basic arithmetic \u2026 the times he\u2019d bought him books when he could ill afford them \u2026 the times he\u2019d sat with his eldest son and tried to teach him rudimentary geography, maths, vocabulary or anything else he could think of to expand his mind and satisfy his thirst for knowledge. Yes, his father had done the best he could and Adam would never have told him the yearnings he\u2019d had for more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s George Breckenridge,\u201d said Ben, straightening up and easing his back as he pointed across the street. He held up his hand to acknowledge the man who waved back and crossed the street towards them. \u201cGeorge,\u201d said Ben, shaking his hand. \u201cGood to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George smiled at him as they shook. \u201cNice to see you too Ben,\u201d he said before turning to Adam. \u201cI was wondering if you\u2019d be in town before the weekend,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve got a couple more books that you might like to take a look at.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cThanks,\u201d he said, reaching into the back of the buckboard and pulling out a small briefcase. \u201cI\u2019ve finished that algebra too, so I was going to bring it by the schoolhouse before we left town.\u201d He hesitated. \u201cThat is \u2026 if you don\u2019t mind taking a look at it for me,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I don\u2019t,\u201d said the schoolteacher. \u201cHaven\u2019t I told you that often enough? Why don\u2019t you come over as soon as you\u2019re finished here and we can go through it together?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked at his father for approval and Ben nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s very good of you George,\u201d he said. \u201cWe both appreciate you helping Adam like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded. \u201cNo trouble at all,\u201d he said. \u201cAfter all, it\u2019s not every day you find a young man so eager on learning in a small town like this.\u201d He grinned at Adam. \u201cHow\u2019s the college application coming?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll done,\u201d said Adam. \u201cActually, I was going to ask you to look over it for me as well if you don\u2019t mind. I want to be sure that I\u2019ve included everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded. \u201cBring it over then when you come,\u201d he said. He gave the young man a penetrating look. \u201cHave you thought over what I said to you a few days ago?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cYes, but I\u2019ve decided to stick with Harvard,\u201d he said firmly. \u201cAfter all \u2026 it\u2019s the best.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shrugged. \u201cA lot of people would agree with you,\u201d he said. \u201cBut there are plenty of other schools Adam. Ones that don\u2019t \u2026 well \u2026 that don\u2019t require such stringent examinations for entry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Harvard is where I want to go,\u201d insisted Adam firmly. \u201cAnd besides, you\u2019ve said many times that I\u2019m up to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell yes, you are,\u201d admitted George. \u201cBut remember that\u2019s only the opinion of a country school teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve taught in cities for years,\u201d interrupted Adam. \u201cI trust your judgement.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe both do,\u201d said Ben, looking at Adam proudly. \u201cAdam has his heart set on Harvard George, so I\u2019m happy with his decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just would hate to see you disappointed,\u201d said George. \u201cAfter all your work son, don\u2019t you think that you should apply for a few more colleges as a backup?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI intend to go to Harvard. I\u2019ve worked so hard for this and now that \u2026.\u201d He glanced at his father and hesitated for a split second, not wanting to voice out loud what was in his mind. \u201cNow that the \u2026 time is right, I intend to get there.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cI\u2019ve got what it takes \u2026 I know it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George raised his eyebrows in reply, but said nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben slapped Adam on the back and grinned at him. \u201cAdam knows his own mind,\u201d he said to George. \u201cBut thank you for caring.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At that moment, Hoss and Joe reappeared on the sidewalk, each carrying a small twisted paper cone. \u201cWe got em Pa!\u201d shouted Joe happily, holding his up for his father to see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning Eric,\u201d said George, smiling at Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave the man a half-hearted smile in return. \u201cMorning sir,\u201d he said. Much and all as his teacher was a fair teacher whom he liked, school had never been Hoss\u2019 favourite place to be and the very presence of the man brought back images into his mind that he\u2019d rather not be reminded of.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnjoying your Easter holiday?\u201d asked George, still smiling at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir,\u201d mumbled Hoss, looking at his boots and digging his toe into one of the planks of the sidewalk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy!\u201d said Little Joe, grinning up at the man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello there,\u201d said George in return. He looked at Ben quizzically. \u201cI suppose this one will be joining me after the summer?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Ben. \u201cIt\u2019s time he was in school.\u201d He chuckled quietly and his eyes glinted in amusement at the thought of it. \u201cI wish you luck though,\u201d he said, patting Joe\u2019s curly hair. \u201cYou\u2019ll need all your patience when he joins your class.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George raised hiss eyebrows again. \u201cWell, I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll both manage,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve never met a child yet that I can\u2019t control.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam bit his lip and tried not to laugh as he considered the man\u2019s words. \u201cMost people think that until they get to know Joe,\u201d he said wryly, indicating the small boy who by now had turned his attention to his candy and was trying to get some of Hoss\u2019 at the same time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019d better get my shopping done,\u201d said George, trying to ignore the remark. \u201cI\u2019ll see you at the schoolhouse later on Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded and tipped his hat at the schoolteacher as he disappeared into the store.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d said Hoss in a puzzled tone as he popped a lemon drop into his mouth. \u201cHow come you always wanna hang around with a schoolteacher when you don\u2019t have ta?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother enjoys learning,\u201d Ben answered for him. \u201cWhich is something you could learn from him, young man,\u201d he added for effect.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir,\u201d said Hoss mournfully. \u201cI reckon.\u201d He walked over to the hitching rail and leant against it as he watched Joe who was swinging around it happily as he sucked on his candy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben picked up a small sack of sugar and put it into the back of the buckboard. \u201cMaybe George Breckenridge is right son?\u201d he said to Adam as they worked. \u201cMaybe it would be best to put in a few applications to other colleges as well as Harvard?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I want to go to Harvard,\u201d said Adam stubbornly. \u201cThat\u2019s always been my plan Pa. You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d replied Ben as they both worked. \u201cBut all I\u2019m saying is that if the standard is so high \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course the standard is high,\u201d interrupted Adam. \u201cThey have to keep it high to attract the best students. That\u2019s why I want to go there.\u201d He patted his father on the shoulder. \u201cIt\u2019s OK Pa. I know that I\u2019ll get in because I\u2019ve worked hard for it. All those past papers that George Breckenridge has lent me \u2026 well they haven\u2019t been easy, but I\u2019ve got myself to the stage where I know the work inside and out. I\u2019ll handle that entry examination fine \u2026. I know I will. You don\u2019t have to worry about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I know that you\u2019re a very bright young man \u2026. there\u2019s no disputing that,\u201d Ben said. \u201cAll I\u2019m saying is \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you\u2019re saying and I would agree in other circumstances,\u201d interrupted Adam again. \u201cI just don\u2019t see the point in applying for other colleges when I\u2019ve got no intention of going to them, that\u2019s all Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stopped and looked at the young man. \u201cAnd if you don\u2019t get into Harvard?\u201d he asked. \u201cWhat then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked shocked. \u201cOf course I\u2019ll get in,\u201d he said. \u201cAs I said before \u2026 I know the work. Even though I\u2019ve never been to school formally, George says that I\u2019m very bright and that I shouldn\u2019t have a problem because of all the work I\u2019ve done by myself and with you and \u2026 well, all the help he\u2019s given me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said thoughtfully. \u201cHe\u2019s been a great help these past three years since he came to Virginia City. Our town has really been lucky to have a teacher of his calibre here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSee?\u201d said Adam confidently. \u201cHe\u2019s taught back East for years and he knows about these things. If he says that I\u2019m up to standard then we\u2019ve got to trust his opinion. I just appreciate all the tutoring he\u2019s given me during these past three years and the fact that you\u2019ve made it possible for me to do it,\u201d he added, giving his father a smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled back at him. \u201cWell, it\u2019s been worth it,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019ve got a fine mind Adam and it would be a crime not to have let you make the best of it. I only wish that you\u2019d had the chance to go to a regular school when you were younger. There are many things that I \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put his hand up to silence his father. \u201cPa, it\u2019s OK,\u201d he said. \u201cI got on fine without all of that, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben patted him on the back. \u201cYou sure did,\u201d he said proudly. \u201cAnd now is your time to put that knowledge to good use son. I\u2019m mighty proud of you and I know you\u2019ll do well at college.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam slapping his hands on his trousers as he surveyed the full buckboard. \u201cNow if you don\u2019t mind Pa, I\u2019ll go down to the schoolhouse. See you back at home later.\u201d He walked to the back of the buckboard and untied his horse from it before reaching over and grabbing a couple of pieces of candy from Joe\u2019s paper cone. \u201cSee ya fellars,\u201d he said happily as he walked off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d shouted Joe indignantly. \u201cThat\u2019s my candy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cActually, it\u2019s my candy,\u201d said his father, with a twinkle in his eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah,\u201d admitted Joe sadly as he held it out to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019ll let you eat it for me,\u201d continued Ben, taking a piece from Hoss\u2019 cone. \u201cCome on boys, time we were getting back home with these supplies or Hop Sing will be angry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll say he\u2019s going back to Old China again,\u201d giggled Hoss as he climbed up onto the seat of the buckboard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy does he always say that Pa?\u201d asked Joe as his father lifted him up onto the seat. \u201cHe always says it, but he never goes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing just likes to say it I reckon,\u201d said Ben easily as he settled himself next to the two boys and hitched up the reins. \u201cNow sit still, the both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked up from the book he was reading to see his father standing in the doorway with a lantern in his hand. \u201cYes Pa?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it about time you turned that lamp off and went to bed son?\u201d asked his father. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be up early in the morning for that branding.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll be up in time,\u201d he said. \u201cI just want to finish this chapter.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben walked into the room. \u201cWhat are you reading?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about Plato,\u201d said Adam, holding up the book so that his father could see the cover. \u201cIt\u2019s one of the new books that George Breckenridge was talking about today in town. He said that there is usually a philosophy question on the exam and I need to read up about some of the great philosophers \u2026 you know \u2026 their theories and so on. I know about their lives, but this is more about \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d interrupted Ben quickly, knowing that his son was quite capable of talking to him about the topic for an hour if he\u2019d let him. \u201cWell, that\u2019s fine son. Just don\u2019t sit up too late.\u201d He turned to go, but stopped as a thought struck him. \u201cWhat did George say about your application?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe said it was fine,\u201d replied Adam. \u201cHe did suggest that I include a few references though. You know \u2026 character references. He said that he\u2019d be happy to write one for me and he suggested the minister as well. I thought I\u2019d ask him tomorrow after church. Do you think that Roy Coffee might write one for me as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he would,\u201d replied his father. \u201cYou can ask him yourself after church tomorrow. He\u2019s bound to be around town.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cPa?\u201d he asked. \u201cThere\u2019s been something else I\u2019ve wanted to ask you about. I\u2019m going to need to start making plans soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d said Ben, coming back into the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 can we afford the ticket to St Joe?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cThat\u2019s the nearest place I can get to for the examination you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do know,\u201d said Ben, trying not to smile at his son\u2019s eagerness. \u201cYou\u2019ve told me a few times before.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d admitted Adam. \u201cOnly I like to have everything sorted out in my mind, that\u2019s all. I\u2019ve been worried about getting there. Are you sure we can afford the ticket?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure,\u201d his father reassured him. \u201cDon\u2019t you worry about any of that son. I\u2019ve been putting money aside for quite a while now for all your expenses and that includes the trip to St Joe. Let me worry about the money and you worry about that examination,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019m not worried about the examination,\u201d Adam assured him. \u201cJust about getting there, that\u2019s all. I was wondering if we should book the stage ticket now just to be sure that I get one on the right week.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTickets to St Joe aren\u2019t that hard to get,\u201d Ben assured him. \u201cBesides, don\u2019t you think that it would be best to wait until they invite you to sit for it first? You haven\u2019t even put in your application yet son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll invite me to sit for it,\u201d said Adam confidently. \u201cAll I have to do is go through the process, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, there is such a thing as modesty,\u201d said his father, frowning slightly. \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t count your chickens before they\u2019re hatched.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you always told me not to indulge in false modesty,\u201d countered Adam. \u201cAnd if I\u2019m sure of being invited to take the examination, why shouldn\u2019t I be honest enough to say so?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shrugged. \u201cI suppose so,\u201d he said. \u201cWell even so, the examination is a long way off yet and there\u2019s plenty of time to get organised. I was thinking that Mrs Shaunessghy might come out stay with Hoss and Joe for a week while we\u2019re away, so I\u2019ll have a talk with \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe?\u201d interrupted Adam. \u201cPa, that\u2019s nice of you to offer to come, but I really don\u2019t need you to. I\u2019ll be able to get to St Joe by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, it\u2019s a long way and you\u2019ve never travelled so far by yourself. I think it would be best if \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut that would mean buying two tickets,\u201d interrupted Adam again. \u201cAnd that\u2019s a waste of money. Besides Pa, I\u2019ll be going all the way to Boston later in the year by myself anyway, so I\u2019ll have to get used to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave his son a fond look. \u201cI suppose so,\u201d he said reluctantly. \u201cI hadn\u2019t thought of it that way.\u201d He put his hand on the back of Adam\u2019s neck and drew the young man slightly towards him. \u201cI still find it hard to remember that you\u2019re not a child anymore son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled ruefully. \u201cI\u2019m not,\u201d he said simply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI know,\u201d he said, patting the young man\u2019s neck. \u201cWell, I suppose you\u2019d be best to go to St Joe by yourself then. You get some sleep now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will,\u201d said Adam as his father stood up. \u201cAnd thanks Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNight son,\u201d said Ben as he stood up. There was the sound of a muffled cry from another room. \u201cSounds as if Little Joe is having another of his nightmares,\u201d Ben said. \u201cI\u2019d best go and check on him.\u201d He hesitated for a moment. \u201cAdam \u2026 I want you to know that I\u2019ll miss you when you go,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled up at his father. \u201cI\u2019ll miss you too Pa,\u201d he replied. \u201cAnd Hoss and Joe. But it\u2019s not forever you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, saying a silent prayer that it wouldn\u2019t be. \u201cGood night son,\u201d he said. \u201cSleep tight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNight,\u201d said Adam, returning to his book again as his father left the room to attend to his youngest son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa? I\u2019m just going to see the minister before we leave,\u201d said Adam, coming up behind his father as they descended the front steps of the small church. \u201cI want to ask him about that reference.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s fine son,\u201d replied Ben, grabbing hold of Little Joe\u2019s hand firmly and pulling him back as the boy tried to jump down the first two steps. \u201cI\u2019m in no rush to leave, as there are a few people I\u2019d like to talk to myself.\u201d He turned to Hoss who was standing at the bottom of the stairs patiently. \u201cTake care of your brother Hoss,\u201d he instructed the boy. \u201cMake sure he doesn\u2019t get into any trouble while I\u2019m talking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss made a face. \u201cThat ain\u2019t so easy Pa,\u201d he said, grabbing hold of Joe\u2019s other hand. \u201cHe kinda finds trouble even if he ain\u2019t looking for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded in an understanding way, for no one knew better than he did just how much trouble the pint-sized child was capable of attracting. \u201cJust do your best son,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged and walked away, dragging Joe behind him. \u201cCome on Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cLet\u2019s look at the other folk\u2019s horses fer a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched them for a moment and then walked across the small churchyard towards George Breckenridge who was standing by himself under an oak tree. \u201cGeorge,\u201d said Ben, tipping his hat to the man. \u201cI wanted to have a word with you if you don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen,\u201d replied George, smiling at the man and holding out his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted to say thank you again for all you\u2019re doing for Adam,\u201d said Ben. \u201cHe\u2019s so excited about this college business, even if he\u2019s trying not to show it too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe has every right to be,\u201d replied George. \u201cIt\u2019s not every day that a young man from a small country town gets to go to a prestigious college like Harvard.\u201d He hesitated before continuing. \u201cIt\u2019s just that he seems \u2026 well \u2026 very sure of himself. Don\u2019t get me wrong, Ben, I\u2019m very sure that he has an excellent chance of passing the entrance examination, but \u2026 well \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him. \u201cI totally agree,\u201d he said. \u201cThere are times when that son of mine can seem sort of arrogant in a way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George\u2019s face showed his relief at the other man\u2019s remark. \u201cYou agree?\u201d he said. \u201cBut I thought \u2026. well \u2026 Adam\u2019s a very smart young man \u2026 and \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on the teacher\u2019s arm to stop him. \u201cThere\u2019s something you have to understand about Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cI know that sometimes he comes across as a touch over-confident, but in fact underneath all of that bravado he\u2019s actually quite unsure of himself. I know him better than anyone and my belief is that it all stems from his childhood.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George looked confused. \u201cHis childhood?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes. You see, until he was eleven we travelled extensively and he never had a chance to settle in any one place for an extended period of time. Oh, there were towns we stayed in briefly, but nothing terribly stable and I know that he missed out on a lot because of it. Also, the only mother he ever really knew in all those years was only a part of his life for less than a year and her death meant that he had to take on responsibilities that a child his age wouldn\u2019t normally have to be concerned with.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know that he missed out on some vital schooling,\u201d continued Ben. \u201cI tried to teach him what I could \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you did an excellent job,\u201d interrupted George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cBut I know that it still wasn\u2019t enough. I used to see the way he\u2019d look at the various schoolhouses as we passed through different towns and I know that he would have given a lot to be able to attend some of them. I think that the fact he\u2019s had to grow up so quickly under such circumstances has made him perhaps more competitive than most young men his age.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded thoughtfully. \u201cSo what you\u2019re saying is that he\u2019s trying to prove himself?\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve noticed how driven he is with his work and I think I can understand a bit more why now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d agreed Ben. \u201cDriven is a good word for it. I think that he\u2019s far too intense for his own good to be honest. This business about only wanting to choose Harvard \u2026 well you and I both know that it probably isn\u2019t the best decision, but well \u2026\u201d he shrugged his shoulders. \u201cThat\u2019s Adam, I\u2019m afraid. He\u2019s made up his mind that he wants to go to where he has determined is the best college and so Harvard is where he\u2019s set his sights on going. No one and nothing will convince him otherwise, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d He chuckled slightly. \u201cI know how stubborn he is, believe me.\u201d His expression turned serious again. \u201cThe only thing that worries me is if he doesn\u2019t get in \u2026 what it will do to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell if it sets your mind at rest Ben,\u201d replied George. \u201cI honestly feel that there isn\u2019t much hope of that. I\u2019ve taught many a youngster in my years as a teacher and I\u2019ve never come across any boy with a mind as sharp as your son. I know the standard of these examinations and all going well, he shouldn\u2019t have a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut nothing in life is guaranteed,\u201d insisted Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, of course not,\u201d agreed George. \u201cBut all going well I think you can relax and assume that Adam will be on his way to Harvard after the summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben slapped the teacher on the back and grinned at him. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019ve certainly eased my mind considerably.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded. \u201cConsidering Adam has never been to a formal school, he really has done remarkably well,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe have you to thank for that,\u201d said Ben, giving the man a grateful look. \u201cI know that he never would have stood a chance at Harvard or any other college if you hadn\u2019t agreed to tutor him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s been hard for you to find the money for the lessons,\u201d observed George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t deny it,\u201d said Ben. \u201cBut with a son like Adam, it would have been a crime not to give him every chance at education that I could. I\u2019m just sorry that I couldn\u2019t have given it to him years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou should be very proud of him,\u201d said George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh I am,\u201d said Ben, his eyes shining with the thought of it. \u201cYou can be sure of that,\u201d he added. \u201cHe has his mother\u2019s intellect.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George smiled at the man. \u201cI suspect he inherited quite a bit from you as well,\u201d he said. \u201cYour drive and determination for one.\u201d Ben merely shrugged, but didn\u2019t reply. \u201cActually Ben,\u201d added George. \u201cNow might be a good time to tell you that I\u2019m thinking of leaving Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLeaving?\u201d said Ben quickly. \u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shrugged. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said. \u201cBut I\u2019ve been here a few years now and I feel that it\u2019s time to move on. I\u2019ve applied for a few schools back east where I originally came from.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell you\u2019ve been a great asset to our community,\u201d said Ben. \u201cAnd I can\u2019t ever thank you enough for all you\u2019ve done for Adam. Also Hoss. He says that you\u2019re a fair teacher and that\u2019s a big compliment coming from my second son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a nice boy,\u201d said George. He looked slightly embarrassed as he added, \u201cUm \u2026 you do realise that \u2026 well \u2026 Eric doesn\u2019t have Adam\u2019s \u2026 um \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held up a hand to silence the man. \u201cIt\u2019s all right,\u201d he said. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to say it. I know that Hoss isn\u2019t as gifted as his brother is in the academic sense. What\u2019s important though is that he has talents in other areas. He\u2019ll find what he\u2019s good at as he grows and find a way to make his mark on the world in his own special way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George looked at Ben in a thoughtful way. \u201cBen, I do believe that you\u2019re a very rare man,\u201d he mused. \u201cIt\u2019s not every parent who can be so realistic about their children \u2026 and know them so well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now it was Ben\u2019s turn to look slightly embarrassed. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said as Little Joe came up flung his arms around his father\u2019s legs and saved the man from making any further comment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe gonna go home now Pa?\u201d asked the child.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSoon,\u201d said Ben, patting the curly hair fondly. \u201cI\u2019ll be sorry that you won\u2019t be starting this one off at school after the summer,\u201d he said to George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George also smiled at the little boy. \u201cWell, I don\u2019t have a position yet,\u201d he said. \u201cSo who knows? Maybe I\u2019ll still be here when Joseph begins after all?\u201d He smiled as Adam came up to stand beside his father. \u201cHello Adam,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam returned the smile and nodded at the teacher. \u201cPa?\u201d he said. \u201cThe minister said he\u2019d be happy to write a reference for me. I thought I might go over and find Roy Coffee and ask him as well if that\u2019s OK?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s fine son,\u201d said Ben, dangling Joe from his arms and swinging him slightly off his feet, much to the little boy\u2019s delight. \u201cI\u2019ll bring the buggy over and pick you up in a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam. \u201cGeorge,\u201d he said, tipping his hat to the man before walking off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I suppose I\u2019d better round my two boys up and get going,\u201d said Ben, swinging Joe up into his arms. He looked over his shoulder. \u201cHoss! Time to go son!\u201d Hoss waved to his father and headed over to the buggy. Ben held his hand out to the teacher. \u201cThank you again,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd good luck with the applications.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s a appicashion?\u201d asked Joe curiously as his father carried him towards the buggy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a piece of paper,\u201d said Ben, lifting the child up into the buggy and then stepping aside for Hoss to clamber up after him. He climbed up onto the seat himself before hitching up the reins.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Adam?\u201d asked Hoss. \u201cAin\u2019t he coming home with us Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s talking to Sheriff Coffee,\u201d explained his father. \u201cWe\u2019re going over there now to pick him up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes lit up. \u201cCan I be a prisoner again?\u201d he asked excitedly. \u201cAnd put the handcuffs on?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe on another day,\u201d said Ben as he turned the horses towards town. \u201cSheriff Coffee has things to do and we have to get on home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d asked Hoss. \u201cAdam was asking the minister about writing him a letter for College. How come he wants to go so much?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s College?\u201d piped up Little Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave Hoss a warning look. \u201cWe\u2019ll talk about it later,\u201d he said, indicating Joe with his thumb.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTalk about what?\u201d persisted Joe. \u201cWhat\u2019s College Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cWell,\u201d he said. \u201cAdam is thinking of going to school \u2026 that\u2019s what a College is.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike me?\u201d said Joe excitedly. \u201cI\u2019m gonna go to school after the summer. You said so Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot like you,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cCollege is different to the school here in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d said Joe. \u201cWhat\u2019s diff\u2019rent about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a long way away,\u201d explained Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d said Joe, looking puzzled. \u201cThen how is Adam gonna get to the College every day?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe won\u2019t go every day,\u201d explained Ben, trying to be gentle in his explanation and not upset the child. \u201cHe\u2019ll need to stay near the College and not at home.\u201d He waited while Joe digested this information. \u201cHe\u2019ll come home when he\u2019s finished learning all he needs to,\u201d he explained, when the child said nothing. He glanced at the little boy. \u201cDo you understand?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d said Joe happily. \u201cHow many days will he be learning them things at College for then Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed, for it was obvious that the little boy had no concept of the amount of time he was talking about. \u201cA lot of days son,\u201d he said. \u201cLots and lots.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI still don\u2019t know why he has ta go,\u201d said Hoss sadly. \u201cI\u2019m gonna miss him when he does.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe too,\u201d said Joe, finally picking up on Hoss\u2019 mood and realising that this was something sad. \u201cWhy does he have ta go Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause he wants to,\u201d said Ben as they approached the Main Street of the town. \u201cAnd we need to let him do what he wants to, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose so,\u201d sighed Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes lit up as he momentarily forgot about Adam. \u201cThere\u2019s Sheriff Coffee!\u201d he shouted and stood up excitedly. \u201cHey Sheriff Coffee!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSit down!\u201d ordered his father. \u201cAnd stop yelling in my ear please.\u201d He pulled the buggy to a halt right beside the jail where Adam and Roy Coffee were busy in conversation together. \u201cRoy,\u201d he said, tipping his hat to the man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen,\u201d replied Roy. \u201cYou should be right proud of this boy of yours \u2026 off to College and all,\u201d he said. \u201cRight proud.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am indeed,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan I be a prisoner and use the handcuffs, Sheriff Coffee?\u201d asked Joe, nearly bouncing out of the buggy in his excitement at the thought of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot today son,\u201d said Roy, ruffling the child\u2019s curly hair and then slapping Hoss on the shoulder affectionately. \u201cJust come in and pick up that reference whenever you\u2019ve a mind to Adam,\u201d he said, shaking the young man\u2019s hand. \u201cI\u2019ll be happy to write it for ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam, before climbing up into the buggy alongside his father. \u201cI appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam?\u201d asked Joe as his father hitched up the reins again. \u201cHow come you\u2019re going to that College place?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam raised an eyebrow in his father\u2019s direction and Ben shrugged. \u201cHe heard Hoss and I talking about it,\u201d he explained. \u201cI suppose it\u2019s time he found out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI\u2019m going to learn lots of things,\u201d he said. \u201cLike you\u2019re going to do when you go to school soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa says that you\u2019re gonna go for lots of days,\u201d persisted Joe, beginning to sound worried. \u201cHow come?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause that\u2019s how long it will take to learn all the things I want to learn,\u201d explained Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you learn them things without going to College?\u201d piped up Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cUnfortunately I can\u2019t. Look fellars, I know it\u2019s going to be hard, but it\u2019s just something that I really want to do. I\u2019m going to miss all of you, but I just need to go and do this.\u201d He turned to face his brothers in the back seat of the buggy. \u201cCan you both try to understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged. \u201cI\u2019ll try,\u201d he said sadly. \u201cBut I still don\u2019t understand why you wanna learn stuff at no darned old College. I can hardly wait to leave school.\u201d He looked at his father hopefully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI told you that you\u2019ll be in school until you\u2019re fifteen,\u201d said his father, not taking the hint. \u201cBesides, don\u2019t you want to be there when Joe starts after the summer? You know that I\u2019m counting on you to look after him for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon,\u201d sighed Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can look after myself!\u201d declared Joe indignantly. \u201cI don\u2019t need no-one looking after me neither!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you excited about going Adam?\u201d asked Hoss as they all ignored Little Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cI suppose I am.\u201d He glanced at his father. \u201cIf I can get that application in the mail in a couple of days I\u2019ll probably hear by the end of the month,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA appicashion is a piece of paper,\u201d Joe informed him, knowingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shot his little brother a puzzled glance, but didn\u2019t comment. \u201cThe examination is in two months,\u201d he continued, addressing his father. \u201cSo I\u2019ll have plenty of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s a esamashion?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a test,\u201d explained Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d said Joe, thoughtfully. \u201cWhy do you have to do a test Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged his shoulders. \u201cJust a formality,\u201d he answered, and then added. \u201cJust something I have to do before they accept me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised an eyebrow at the remark, but said nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll do good in that test Adam,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cYou\u2019re real smart,\u201d he added proudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam in an off-hand manner. \u201cI\u2019m quite confident about it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cObviously,\u201d muttered Ben under his breath as he shook his head slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that Pa?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing son,\u201d replied his father. He turned to face the boys in the back of the buggy. \u201cHow about we all go fishing this afternoon?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah!\u201d shouted Hoss and Joe in unison.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow about you Adam?\u201d asked Ben. \u201cWant to join us?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cI\u2019d better study,\u201d he said. \u201cWith only a few weeks to go there\u2019s still quite a bit I want to revise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSuit yourself,\u201d replied his father. \u201cOnly don\u2019t tire yourself out too much son. You\u2019re due to start breaking those horses early tomorrow morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna break horses when I get bigger,\u201d Joe informed them all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you will,\u201d said his father. \u201cNow keep still and stop bouncing about please.\u201d He hitched up the horses and the horses quickened their gait towards the ranch house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cKeep still and stop that bouncing about please,\u201d said Ben. Honestly, there were times when he was so sick of saying those words to his youngest son, for Joe seemed to always be in perpetual motion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe dutifully stopped wriggling on the third-top rung of the corral fence where his father was holding him, but the instruction to stop bouncing seemed to mean nothing to him in view of his excitement at watching Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo Adam!\u201d he yelled in imitation of Hoss and all the ranch hands who were yelling similar phrases. \u201cHe\u2019s great, ain\u2019t he Pa?\u201d he added, turning to face his father with a grin, clutching onto the top railing as he did so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded in reply, although he wasn\u2019t sure whether the little boy was referring to his brother or the horse he was riding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo Adam!\u201d shouted Hoss, waving his arms at his brother as he watched the young man bouncing around on the bucking horse. \u201cStick with him!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched quietly, saying nothing aloud but muttering a prayer silently instead. No matter how often he watched his son breaking horses he always had a lump in his throat and found himself holding his breath until the horse either slowed down or \u2026 and this was the more common occurrence \u2026 Adam fell off. It wasn\u2019t that he doubted his son\u2019s ability on such animals, for Adam had proven himself over and over to be one of the best at breaking horses in these parts \u2026 but a father couldn\u2019t help but worry nevertheless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Many times he\u2019d thought that it would be easier to be on the frantic animal himself than to stand back and watch his son performing such a task, and he considered with a sudden pang that the number of times he\u2019d be able to watch Adam doing this activity that he so enjoyed would be soon coming to an end for quite a while.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben wondered how the East would change his son. After all, a man couldn\u2019t live in a place for three years and not be affected by his environment, so all he could hope for was that he had instilled enough of his own values in the youngster that would see him through any challenges that might befall him during his time away. He suddenly let go of Joe momentarily with one hand and waved at Adam, shouting out encouragement as he did so and feeling like he wasn\u2019t so much encouraging him about the horse ride, but about the life that was unfolding ahead of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded in reply to his father\u2019s wave, but was unable to do much else to acknowledge the myriad of shouts of encouragement that washed over him as he struggled to stay on the horse. The sky came into view yet again as the bucking animal beneath him reared up and, much and all as he enjoyed the sensation of power from the animal and the feeling of freedom that came with the ride, he wished suddenly that the horse would give in and calm down. He hated to see an animal distressed in this way and \u2026..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly the world tipped sideways and he felt himself sliding out of the saddle. He clutched desperately at the saddle-horn, knowing even as he did so that it was a futile attempt as he was already halfway to the ground. Bracing himself to hit the earth as he\u2019d done so many times before, he suddenly heard a loud crack and felt pain on the back of his head as the world turned black and he disappeared into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Ben reacted in the split second it took for him to realise that his son had hit the corral fence as he slid towards the dirt. He grabbed Joe under the arms, hauled him down from the fence and pushed him towards Hoss who was standing next to him. \u201cWatch your brother!\u201d he shouted. \u201cDon\u2019t either of you get through that fence until I say!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss held onto the wriggling Joe and watched open-mouthed as his father climbed the fence in a single vault and ran towards Adam who was lying in a heap of wood in what was left of the fence on the other side of the corral.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI got him!\u201d shouted one of the ranch-hands as he grabbed on the reins of the horse and pulled him away from the unconscious young man on the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben barely acknowledged him, all his attention focussed on Adam\u2019s prone body, limbs all tangled in between the broken pieces of wood. He knelt in the dirt beside his son and cradled Adam\u2019s head between his large hands, searching the young man\u2019s face for any flicker of life. \u201cAdam!\u201d he cried again. \u201cAdam! Can you hear me son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s out to it,\u201d said a voice beside him and Ben glanced up to see Charlie, the Ponderosa foreman kneeling beside him. His look mirrored that of Ben\u2019s, but in spite of his obvious anxiety he patted his employer on the shoulder in a comforting way. \u201cHe\u2019ll come round in a minute or two,\u201d he said. \u201cHe just took a nasty crack on the back of the head is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, knowing in his brain that the man was right, but feeling in his heart that he wouldn\u2019t believe his son was fine until those eyes beneath his opened again. He felt along the young man\u2019s arms and then his legs with one hand, while he continued to hold his head up with the other. \u201cNothing seems to be broken,\u201d he said in a voice that sounded far away to his own ears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Adam stirred and muttered something, his arms and legs flailing around briefly before his eyes fluttered open and he stared up at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome back,\u201d said Ben, smiling down at his son and trying to assume a bland expression on his face so as not to upset Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam blinked a couple of times before replying. \u201cHow long have I been out?\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust a couple of minutes,\u201d replied his father, stroking his son\u2019s forehead and pushing his curls out of his eyes. \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam moved his arms and legs again. \u201cSore,\u201d he acknowledged. \u201cOK though.\u201d He struggled to get up, but Ben held him down firmly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cGive it a minute or two just in case.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded and lay still, for in fact his head was throbbing and it hurt just to move. Behind them Ben heard shouting and he looked over his shoulder to see Hoss desperately trying to hold onto Little Joe and shouting something to the now-crying little boy. He glanced across the corral and satisfied himself that the ranch-hand had the horse well tied-up before yelling to his son. \u201cIt\u2019s all right Hoss!\u201d he cried. \u201cYou can both come over now!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gratefully let go of his upset little brother who immediately slipped between the bottom two rungs of the fence and ran towards his father and brother. Ben caught him in one hand and drew him to his side, his other hand still supporting Adam\u2019s head. \u201cIt\u2019s all right Little Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cAdam is fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hiccupped on a couple of sobs as he looked down at his brother and Adam forced himself to smile up at the child. \u201cStop carrying on,\u201d he said, trying to sound as normal as possible. \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face immediately split into a wide grin and he straightened up, confident in the way of a small child that the danger had now passed and everything would now be all right. \u201cThat was great Adam!\u201d he said. \u201cYou fell real good!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled wryly, trying to convince himself that there was something good about such a thing. He motioned with his hand to Hoss who had by now come to stand beside their father. \u201cHelp me up,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss leant down and pulled on his brother\u2019s arm. \u201cCareful,\u201d said Ben, also getting to his feet. \u201cTake it slowly, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d said Adam, dusting himself off. \u201cJust a bit of a headache is all.\u201d He looked across at the black horse. \u201cI don\u2019t think he\u2019s going to give up in a hurry though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said his father. \u201cBut he can wait now until another day. You\u2019re not getting back on him after a fall like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave his father a frustrated look. \u201cPa, I\u2019m fine!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou listen to yer Pa, son,\u201d interrupted Charlie. \u201cHe knows what he\u2019s talking about. That black will be there fer ya tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cOK,\u201d he said, not wanting to admit that he was secretly relieved at the thought of not having to get back on the horse straight away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou go and sit down for a bit,\u201d instructed his father. \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe followed Adam across the corral, through the gate and towards the front porch, Hoss giving his brother worried looks all the while and Joe chattering incessantly. Neither Adam nor Hoss had a clue what their little brother was talking about as they both ignored him, but the constant noise made the pounding of Adam\u2019s head seem worse even so. \u201cCan you stop for a bit?\u201d he asked Joe peevishly as he sat down on the edge of the porch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStop what?\u201d asked Joe, puzzled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTalking,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou OK Adam?\u201d asked Hoss anxiously, peering at his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Adam assured him as he rubbed the back of his neck. \u201cJust got a headache.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure came down with a bang,\u201d said Hoss, sitting down beside him. \u201cI thought \u2026\u201d his eyes misted over as he hung his head suddenly and looked at the dirt. There was silence for a moment until Adam broke it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou thought it was like \u2026.\u201d He glanced quickly at Little Joe, standing before him. \u201cI think Pa needs your help Joe,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOK,\u201d replied Joe happily and scampered off towards his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou thought it was like Marie,\u201d finished Adam, when the little boy was out of earshot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d admitted Hoss, digging his toe into the dirt. The memory of the day that his beloved stepmother \u2026 Joe\u2019s mother \u2026. had fallen from her horse only yards away from where they were sitting now had forever been etched into his brain and he frequently had dreams about it. Her death was always on his mind and he sought constantly to overcome his grief for her, himself and his family. \u201cSeeing you fall like that \u2026\u201d he shrugged. \u201cI dunno,\u201d he finished lamely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t the same thing,\u201d Adam assured his brother gently. \u201cNowhere near the same thing. Marie fell \u2026. Well, she fell in a different way.\u201d He reached out and put his arm around his brother\u2019s shoulder. \u201cFalling off horses is just part of breaking them,\u201d he continued. \u201cYou prepare your body to fall the right way when you realise that it\u2019s about to happen.\u201d He made a rueful face. \u201cOr most of the time you try to anyway,\u201d he added. \u201cYou\u2019ll find out when you start to break them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged his shoulders. \u201cTell the truth Adam, I ain\u2019t keen on trying,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI don\u2019t like the look of it.\u201d His chin went up. \u201cIt ain\u2019t that I\u2019m scared or nothing,\u201d he added, defensively. \u201cIt\u2019s just that I don\u2019t care to try it too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled and rubbed his neck ruefully. \u201cCan\u2019t say as I blame you right about now,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you go and get a hot towel from the kitchen and put it on the back of your neck?\u201d asked Ben, coming to stand beside them. \u201cIt will do that headache good son.\u201d He gave Adam an anxious look. \u201cMaybe you\u2019d better go into town to see Doc Martin?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cPa, I\u2019m fine,\u201d he said, standing up. \u201cAlthough the hot towel is a good idea. I\u2019ll get one from Hop Sing.\u201d He walked towards the house, watched by both Ben and Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna break horses when I get bigger!\u201d Joe announced happily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed as he looked down at his youngest son. \u201cYes, son,\u201d he said. \u201cNo doubt you will. That is \u2026. if your old Pa can stand it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s the headache?\u201d asked Ben, stopping at Adam\u2019s door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGone,\u201d replied Adam, looking up from his book. \u201cIt didn\u2019t last long. I\u2019ll get back to that black tomorrow Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust wait and see,\u201d said his father. He walked into the room and stood looking at the young man for a moment or two. \u201cAdam, I\u2019ve been thinking. Maybe you shouldn\u2019t break any more horses for the next few weeks?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave his father a puzzled look. \u201cWhy not?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you don\u2019t want to risk another fall like that,\u201d explained Ben. \u201cNot one that could risk your chance of sitting for the examination.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam opened his mouth to protest and then frowned instead. \u201cI hadn\u2019t thought of it that way,\u201d he mused. \u201cBut really Pa, I can\u2019t do nothing around here for the next few weeks just because of the examination.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not saying to do nothing,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cJust not to break any horses. You don\u2019t want to go looking for trouble. Imagine if you\u2019d broken a leg today?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see what you mean,\u201d agreed Adam. \u201cI suppose so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe hands can manage the rest of that string of horses,\u201d said Ben, smiling at the young man. \u201cI think it\u2019s the right thing to do son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cI guess,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben patted him on the shoulder. \u201cNow you get some sleep,\u201d he said. \u201cThere are plenty of other chores waiting for you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh goody!\u201d said Adam, grinning at his father sarcastically. \u201cNight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGoodnight son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cAnd don\u2019t read too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam snuggled down with his book, turning onto his side and sighing contentedly as he let his mind be once again engrossed in the beloved literature.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked up to see Little Joe standing beside his bed, his curly hair all matted and his nightgown all askew and hitched up on one shoulder. \u201cWhat are you doing in here?\u201d he asked, a tad crossly. \u201cPa will have your hide if he sees you out of bed when you\u2019re supposed to be asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t sleepy,\u201d said Joe, leaning on the bed and grinning at his brother. \u201cCan I come in your bed?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you can\u2019t,\u201d said Adam, cross at the disturbance and not keen on being kicked all night, as Joe was known to do in such circumstances. \u201cGo back to your own bed and go to sleep.\u201d A jolt of pain suddenly shot through his head as Joe bounced against the bed and made it jiggle. \u201cDon\u2019t!\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t what?\u201d asked Joe, puzzled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBounce against the bed like that!\u201d snapped Adam again. \u201cGet off it!\u201d He held onto his head, closing his eyes and willing the sharp pain away. It subsided as quickly as it had come and he opened his eyes several seconds later to see Joe giving him a strange look. \u201cGo to bed,\u201d he said, in a milder tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou look funny,\u201d observed Joe, tilting his head sideways and staring at his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said to go to bed,\u201d repeated Adam. \u201cGo on!\u201d He waited until his little brother had left the room before sitting up tentatively, anxious to see if the pain returned and letting out a sigh of relief when it didn\u2019t. He lay down again and picked up his book again, secure in the knowledge that he felt decidedly better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Much and all as he considered that he would have enjoyed the rest, Adam found it increasingly hard to stand back and watch others break the rest of the string of horses instead of doing it himself. Since he\u2019d turned eleven his father had relied on him to do a man\u2019s job around the ranch and as soon as he could safely be trusted on a horse he\u2019d been kept busy herding cattle and horses in between a myriad of other chores. Breaking horses had come later when he\u2019d been fully grown, but it was something that he particularly enjoyed and prided himself of doing well, so it wasn\u2019t something that he found easy to give up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He consoled himself with the fact that as soon as the examination was over he\u2019d get back to it and muttered as much to himself one morning a few days later as he was forking out one of the stalls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Hoss, who was working alongside his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d muttered Adam. \u201cI\u2019m just talking to myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThought you was saying some of that poetry stuff again,\u201d Hoss teased. \u201cMushy stuff if you ask me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d said Adam, leaning on his pitchfork. Suddenly his brother\u2019s voice seemed a long way in the distance and he blinked his eyes several times as he realised that Hoss\u2019 bulky figure had gone all blurry in front of his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said that poetry stuff is mushy,\u201d repeated Hoss. \u201cI\u00a0 dunno why you \u2026.\u201d He stopped and gave his brother a strange look. \u201cAre you OK Adam?\u201d he asked. \u201cYou\u2019ve gone all white.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took a step backwards and sat down on a bale of hay. \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d he said. \u201cJust need a rest is all.\u201d He forced himself to grin at his brother. \u201cNo excuse for you to stop working,\u201d he added. He waited until Hoss had shrugged before blinking his eyes several times to bring the youngster back into focus in front of his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I dunno why you like all that stuff,\u201d continued Hoss as he raked the hay. \u201cIf I had my way I\u2019d never read any books.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRubbish!\u201d said Adam, blinking again and trying to convince himself that the world had stopped spinning in front of his eyes. \u201cYou enjoyed those \u2026.\u201d He stopped. \u201cThose \u2026.\u201d For the life of him he couldn\u2019t remember what he\u2019d been about to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThose short stories books you gave me?\u201d Hoss finished for him. \u201cWell yeah, but it ain\u2019t like I\u2019d like to read em every day. I reckon \u2026.\u201d He looked up. \u201cWhere are ya going Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be back in a minute,\u201d said Adam, heading unsteadily towards the door of the barn, which suddenly seemed as if it was rushing forwards to meet him. \u201cKeep going with your work,\u201d he added, holding onto the support of the doorframe. Hoss shrugged and turned to continue working, oblivious to his brother\u2019s distress.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam walked slowly outside, concentrating on watching his feet to make sure that he didn\u2019t fall over. As it was, it felt like the ground was about to rise up and meet him because of the dizzy feeling that was washing over him and he sensed that his vision was beginning to blur again. He stopped as one of his boots hit against the edge of the water trough and he bent down and held onto it as he lowered himself down to sit on the edge of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he sat there willing the world to stop spinning around him, his thoughts whirled around his head and he forced himself to remain calm as his mind screamed out in his anxiousness. Much to his relief, after a moment or two his vision cleared and everything seemed as it had moments before. He rubbed his head thoughtfully, trying to come to terms with what was happening to him, but refusing to face the obvious. Somewhere in the back of his brain it registered that he wasn\u2019t well, but he pushed that thought away in his anxiety to remain in control of his life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHaving a bit of a sit down son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked up to see Charlie standing in front of him, grinning from ear to ear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said, sitting up straight again in an attempt not to let the man see that anything was wrong.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell don\u2019t let ya Pa see ya or he\u2019ll find something else fer you to do,\u201d said Charlie. Adam shrugged but said nothing, not willing to risk speaking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Charlie stared at him. \u201cAre you OK?\u201d he asked. \u201cYou\u2019re looking a bit pale.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked up at the man. \u201cWell actually \u2026.\u201d he began.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Charlie!\u201d called someone in the corral. \u201cCan you come over here and help?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust you hold yer horses!\u201d shouted back Charlie, chuckling at his own joke. \u201cGet it?\u201d he said to Adam. \u201cI told him ta hold his horses!\u201d He stroked his chin thoughtfully. \u201cWe\u2019re missing ya help with that lot Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cBut I reckon yer Pa\u2019s right keeping you away from em fer now. It wouldn\u2019t do ta mess up ya chances of that College stuff. Not when you\u2019ve got yer heart set on it so bad.\u201d He bent down and patted Adam on the back affectionately. \u201cNow don\u2019t you do nothing stupid to mess up yer chances,\u201d he said. \u201cYer Pa is right proud of you and he\u2019s got good cause to be. It ain\u2019t every day that a young fellar has such a chance to get to a college and all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam hesitated, his mind spinning. \u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d he said finally. \u201cI\u2019d be stupid to do anything to mess up my chances. Not after all the work I\u2019ve put into this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d agreed Charlie. \u201cNow you jest take it easy and concentrate on all that reading you have to do. The boys and I will take care of all the horses fer ya Pa.\u201d He walked away whistling, leaving Adam sitting on the edge of the water trough deep in thought.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he massaged the back of his head, Adam thought of all the possibilities in front of him. To tell his father about the two bouts of pain he\u2019d had \u2026. well, he knew where that would lead \u2026. and if it meant that his chances of sitting for that examination were threatened \u2026. He set his jaw and clenched his fist, shaking his head slightly. After all, it wasn\u2019t as if this was happening all the time. He\u2019d only had that slight pain the night Joe had come into his room and now this. He willed himself to believe that everything was all right, knowing that if he had any further problems then he\u2019d go and see Doc Martin in town himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d he said, standing up and almost believing it as he looked around. The world was back in perspective again and the pain he\u2019d just experienced seemed to be a thing of the past. With a new resolve, he walked back into the barn to continue his chores.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph stop bouncing and sit down,\u201d said his father sternly. \u201cAnd you mind your brother, you hear?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Pa,\u201d said Little Joe, sitting down on the buckboard seat and grinning at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere\u2019s the list of things that Hop Sing wants at the Mercantile,\u201d said Ben, handing a piece of paper up to Adam who was seated beside Joe. \u201cAnd don\u2019t forget those sacks of grain that Bert put aside for us at the Feed and Grain either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t,\u201d replied Adam, tucking the paper into his vest pocket. \u201cJoe, sit still!\u201d He hitched up the reins and turned the two horses away from the house. \u201cBye!\u201d he said over his shoulder to his father. \u201cWe should be back by lunch time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBye Pa!\u201d shouted Joe, waving happily to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd don\u2019t forget to pick up the mail!\u201d Ben shouted to them as the buckboard disappeared around the side of the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waved over his shoulder in reply and then turned to Joe again. \u201cWill you sit still?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe reached out for the reins. \u201cCan I drive em Adam?\u201d he asked. \u201cCan I? Huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cYou can hold onto the reins for a bit when we get to the flats, but only when I say and only when I\u2019m holding onto them too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned up at his brother. \u201cThis is great, ain\u2019t it Adam?\u201d he asked. \u201cHey Adam?\u201d he said, not waiting for a reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s thoughts were on a piece of prose that he\u2019d read last night about Plato and he answered his brother absently, not really listening to the little boy\u2019s chatter. \u201cYes?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan we visit Sheriff Coffee when we\u2019re in town? I wanna put them handcuffs on again and be a prisoner in his jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan we get some candy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam raised an eyebrow. \u201cI didn\u2019t hear Pa say that we could,\u201d he teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019 face instantly fell. \u201cWell he didn\u2019t zactly say \u2026.\u201d he agreed. His face lit up again. \u201cBut we could anyway!\u201d When Adam said nothing, Joe looked at him intently. \u201cHave you got \u2026.\u201d He stopped. \u201cYou\u2019ve gone all funny looking,\u201d he said. \u201cHow come?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo reason,\u201d said Adam. He brought the horses to a halt and breathed deeply a couple of times as the pain at the back of his head came back with a rush.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow come we\u2019re stopping?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam breathed deeply again and shook his head slightly as the pain subsided. \u201cNo reason,\u201d he said, smiling down at Joe as he hitched the reins up again. \u201cJust giving the horses a spell.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got your own money, ain\u2019t ya?\u201d said Joe cagily. \u201cWe could buy candy with your money if ya did.\u201d He frowned. \u201cHey Adam? How come we\u2019re going off the trail into them rocks?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam drew the horses to a halt again. \u201cWhat?\u201d he asked, absently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said \u2026 how come we\u2019re going off the trail into them rocks?\u201d repeated Joe. \u201cDidn\u2019t ya hear me before?\u201d He looked at his brother who was leaning forward on the seat and holding his face in his hands. \u201cAre we giving the horses another spell?\u201d he asked. When Adam said nothing, he shrugged and turned to the back of the buckboard seat where a large spider was inching its way across the wood. \u201cHey look!\u201d he shouted. \u201cA real big spider Adam! I reckon I could catch him!\u201d He reached out his hand to pick up the animal, but the buckboard suddenly lurched forward and it was jolted out of his reach. \u201cHey!\u201d he said, turning to he brother indignantly. \u201cWhat\u2019d you do that for?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam continued to look at the ground, breathing deeply and saying nothing. Joe went back to searching for the lost spider when suddenly he felt his brother\u2019s hand gripping his arm tightly \u201cHey!\u201d he said. \u201cLet me go! I wanna find that spider!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, listen to me,\u201d said Adam in a low voice. \u201cI need you to do something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes instantly lit up. \u201cYeah?\u201d he said curiously, for it wasn\u2019t often that people needed him to do anything for them. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShift over here and sit in front of me,\u201d said Adam, indicating the seat. Joe scrunched over and sat where he was bid. \u201cNow take the reins,\u201d instructed Adam. \u201cAnd hold onto them tight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his big brother. \u201cHow come you\u2019re letting me drive em now?\u201d he asked. \u201cWe ain\u2019t reached the flats yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust do as I say!\u201d snapped Adam. \u201cHold on tight and pull on one side to turn them like you\u2019ve seen Pa and I do. Go on \u2026 you can do it.\u201d He held onto the reins behind his little brother, praying with all his might that the boy would be able to manage and letting out a sigh of relief when the horses were gradually turned in the right direction. \u201cGood boy,\u201d he whispered. \u201cNow hitch em up and head for home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cAin\u2019t we going to town now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam, slumping down in the seat and holding onto his head. \u201cDo as I say!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged and hitched the reins up as he\u2019d seen his father and brother do so many times before and longed to do himself. He sat up proudly on the seat as he talked to his unresponsive brother behind him. \u201cI\u2019m doing it Adam!\u201d he said. \u201cSee? I\u2019m driving em all by myself!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s grip on the reins gradually loosened and he felt himself losing consciousness as the pain increased. It was beyond him to reply to his younger brother, but as he fought to stay awake he sensed that Joe had them on the trail and headed in the right direction. After what seemed like an awfully long time to him, they finally reached the barn and the front view of the ranch house came into view around the side of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa!\u201d shouted out Joe happily as he drove the horses towards the house. \u201cWe\u2019re back! I drove the team all by myself cause Adam said I could!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced up at the sound, noted in an instant the slumped body of his eldest son behind that of his youngest and ran quickly towards the buckboard. He grabbed hold of the reins and brought the horses to a halt, the movement causing Adam to slump forward onto Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d shouted Joe indignantly. \u201cGet off me Adam! You\u2019re squashing my bref outta me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben jumped up onto the seat and drew Adam\u2019s body back onto his own, effectively releasing Joe. \u201cGet inside and get Hop Sing!\u201d he said to Joe. \u201cHurry!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes widened as he looked at his brother, finally registering that something was wrong with him. He tried to scramble down from the buckboard seat, fell halfway down and then picked himself up from the dirt again. He ran full pelt towards the house, shouting at the top of his voice. \u201cHop Sing! Hop Sing! Come quick!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leant close to Adam\u2019s face. \u201cAdam?\u201d he said. \u201cAdam? Son \u2026 can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded his head slightly. \u201cHurts \u2026.\u201d he said in a whisper. \u201cMy \u2026 head \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust lie still son,\u201d said Ben soothingly. \u201cIt\u2019ll be all right. Just keep still.\u201d He turned to Hoss who was walking out of the barn to see what all the yelling from Joe was about. \u201cHoss!\u201d he shouted. \u201cI need you to ride into town and get Doc Martin out here real quick! Can you do that son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave Adam and his father a horrified look, turned on his heel without a word and ran into the barn to get his horse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stroked Adam\u2019s forehead with one hand while supporting his head with the other. \u201cShh,\u201d he said as if to a small child. \u201cJust lie still son. Pa\u2019s here.\u201d It struck him suddenly that he hadn\u2019t spoken in such a way to his son for many years and the memories came flooding back from times long gone where it had just been the two of them united against the world. \u201cShh,\u201d he said again, lowering his face towards Adam\u2019s and laying his cheek against the young man\u2019s dark hair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up to see Hop Sing standing by the buckboard, his face a mixture of concern and surprise. \u201cHop Sing,\u201d he said. \u201cI need your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded, instantly knowing what to do. He waited while Ben eased Adam\u2019s limp body towards him, and then supported the young man while Ben climbed down from the buckboard and took him back into his own strong arms. \u201cJoseph, open the front door,\u201d instructed Ben to the little boy who was hopping on one foot in his anxiety at what he was seeing. Ben carried Adam towards the house, through the doorway and made towards the guest room where Hop Sing, who\u2019d hurried into the house before him, was already turning down the covers and making the bed ready.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLittle boy come with me,\u201d Hop Sing said and held out his hand to the distressed child who stood watching his father tend to his brother. \u201cWe get things to help big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced at Ben who tried to smile at him. \u201cGo with Hop Sing,\u201d he said and Joe instantly put his hand into that of the cook\u2019s, for he trusted him almost as much as he trusted his Pa and brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gently eased off Adam\u2019s boots and covered him with the blankets from the bed, tucking them around him lovingly. \u201cLight,\u201d said Adam, putting one of his hands over his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben instantly understood and stood up to close the curtains. \u201cBetter?\u201d he asked as he sat down and was relived to see Adam respond to his voice for the first time as the young man nodded briefly. They sat thus for a few minutes, Ben gazing down anxiously at his son while Adam lay still on the bed with his arm over his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally his arm moved away and he opened his eyes to gaze up at his father. \u201cA \u2026 bit better,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cGood,\u201d he said. \u201cWhat happened son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam breathed deeply a couple of times, but didn\u2019t reply, so Ben simply patted him on the arm. \u201cDon\u2019t talk then,\u201d he said. \u201cJust rest easy until Doc Martin gets here.\u201d As he spoke the words he heard the faint sound of Hoss\u2019 horse in the front yard as his middle son urged the animal away from the barn. \u201cHe\u2019ll be here soon,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The door opened and Hop Sing came into the room, carrying a bowl of hot water. Joe followed him, carrying a couple of towels. \u201cPut hot towels on Mr Adam\u2019s head,\u201d said Hop Sing, handing Ben a warm cloth. \u201cWill ease pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and did as the man bid him too. He trusted Hop Sing\u2019s instincts in such matters implicitly and was instantly rewarded by a slight smile from Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFeels \u2026 good,\u201d he said in a soft voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at Hop Sing who nodded to him. \u201cPlenty more warm water in bowl,\u201d he said. \u201cI make hot tea now for headache.\u201d He held out his hand to Joe, but the boy walked to his father instead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs Adam gonna die, Pa?\u201d he asked anxiously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben tried to smile at the child, not wanting to lie to him but wanting to ease the worry that he saw in his green eyes. \u201cHe\u2019s feeling a bit better,\u201d he said. \u201cYou go with Hop Sing and help him while I sit with Adam. OK?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, his eyes wide as he stared down at the white face of his eldest brother. \u201cOK,\u201d he said in a small voice. He turned and took Hop Sing\u2019s hand and the two of them left the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned back to face the ashen face of Adam that stared up at him from the bed. Lord help him, he prayed silently as he dipped another cloth in the warm water. Let him be all right Lord, that\u2019s all I ask. Just let him be all right!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe sedative should keep him asleep for quite a few hours,\u201d said Doctor Paul Martin, straightening up. \u201cYou can open those curtains again now Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is the light affecting him so much?\u201d asked Ben, trying not to wring his hands as he spoke. \u201cIs it his eyes?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul motioned for him to be quiet. \u201cOutside,\u201d he said, glancing towards the door. He led Ben out of the room, shutting the door behind them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d said Hoss, from the sofa where he and Little Joe were sitting side by side. \u201cIs Adam OK?\u201d His eyes betrayed the deep sense of despair that was washing over him at the thought of something happening to his brother and Ben sensed immediately that his son was remembering another day last year when he\u2019d sat in just about the same place. That was the day his father had had to break the terrible news to him that his beloved stepmother was no longer with them \u2026. a day that constantly haunted all their minds still.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome here,\u201d he said gently pulling the boy towards him as he sat down next to him on the sofa. \u201cYou too, Little Joe.\u201d He put Joe on his lap and placed his arm around Hoss\u2019 shoulder as he continued. \u201cYour brother is resting a lot easier now. Doc Martin has given him something to make him sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut is he gonna be OK?\u201d persisted Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cI sure hope so son,\u201d he said, glancing over at Paul who by now was seated in the blue chair near the fireplace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would help if we knew what led to this,\u201d the doctor said quietly, indicating towards Joe with his thumb.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and put his finger under Joe\u2019s chin to raise the child\u2019s head up so that he was looking into his father\u2019s eyes. \u201cLittle Joe?\u201d he said. \u201cTell me exactly what happened after you left with Adam this morning, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe thought for a moment before replying. \u201cWell \u2026\u201d he began. \u201cWe was going to town in the buckboard and I was talking bout getting some candy.\u201d He turned to look at Hoss. \u201cI was gonna buy you some too Hoss,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned the little boy\u2019s face back towards his own. \u201cThen what?\u201d he prompted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam did a funny thing,\u201d mused Joe, thoughtfully, putting his head on one side as he considered what had happened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe made the team go off the trail and near some rocks,\u201d explained Little Joe. \u201cThen he stopped the horses and said he was giving em a spell.\u201d He scratched his head as he considered what had come next. \u201cOnly it was funny Pa, cause the horses hadn\u2019t been walking long enough fer em to have a spell.\u201d He shrugged, not being able to work that one out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen what happened?\u201d prompted Ben again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen I found a spider,\u201d said Little Joe, his eyes wide at the memory of it. He turned to Hoss again. \u201cIt was a real big spider Hoss. It was black and \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cForget the spider,\u201d said his father, turning his head back again and trying not to get frustrated with the boy. \u201cWhat did Adam do next?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe put his head like this.\u201d Joe demonstrated holding his head in his hands. \u201cAnd then he told me to sit in front of him and turn the team around.\u201d He puffed up at the memory of it. \u201cI did too!\u201d he declared proudly. \u201cAll by myself!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stroked the little boy\u2019s curls. \u201cYes, I know,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m very proud of you, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I drove em all the way home again,\u201d continued Joe. He gave his father a wary look, suddenly remembering that he\u2019d been forbidden by the man to ever try and drive the team by himself. \u201cAdam told me too,\u201d he added, a touch defensively. \u201cAnd you said to mind Adam,\u201d he reminded the man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he agreed. \u201cYou did well, son. Did Adam say anything on the way back home?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe considered the question. \u201cNup,\u201d he said, finally. \u201cHe just sat there and watched me drive the team.\u201d His face took on a worried look. \u201cI think that spider mighta fallen off but.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben ignored the last comment and looked across at Paul, who shook his head slightly. \u201cHoss,\u201d Ben said. \u201cI want you to take Joe outside while I talk to Doc Martin now.\u201d He patted Hoss\u2019 arm. \u201cIt\u2019s all right son,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll come out and talk to you about Adam in a little bit.\u201d He put Joe back down on his feet in front of him and smiled at them both. \u201cPa is very proud of both of you,\u201d he said. \u201cYou did well to get the Doctor here so quickly Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I did well to drive the team,\u201d Joe reminded his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d agreed Ben. \u201cNow \u2026 outside for a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on Joe,\u201d said Hoss, standing up and taking his brother\u2019s hand. When Joe looked as if he was about to object, he added. \u201cLet\u2019s go look for that spider, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOK,\u201d said Joe happily, his mood instantly changing as he took his brother\u2019s outstretched hand. \u201cIt was a real big spider Hoss. It was black and it had twelve legs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t no spider ever had twelve legs,\u201d said Hoss, leading his brother across the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis one did!\u201d declared Joe. \u201cI know cause I counted em.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen you counted wrong,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cSpiders only \u2026.\u201d His words faded away as he shut the front door behind them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the sound of the door closing, Ben instantly turned towards Paul. \u201cWell?\u201d he said. \u201cWhat is it? What\u2019s wrong with my son, Paul?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d replied Paul, honestly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sprang to his feet and began to pace up and down in front of the fireplace. \u201cWhat do you mean you\u2019re not sure?\u201d he snapped. \u201cYou\u2019re a doctor, aren\u2019t you? You\u2019re supposed to know what\u2019s wrong with him!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, sit down,\u201d said Paul, trying to sound as calm as possible. \u201cYou\u2019re not helping yourself or Adam by getting so worked up about this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded briefly and sat down again to face the doctor. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean that. It\u2019s just \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d replied Paul. \u201cBen, I honestly don\u2019t know what to say to you.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cAn attack like this \u2026.\u201d He gave Ben a penetrating look. \u201cYou said that he hit his head a few days ago after a fall from a horse? Have there been any other attacks like this since then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d said Ben. \u201cKnowing Adam as I do, I wouldn\u2019t rule it out though.\u201d He put his head in his hands. \u201cYou\u2019ve never met a more stubborn person than my eldest son, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul rolled his eyes, aware that Ben wasn\u2019t looking at him. \u201cActually I have,\u201d he muttered to himself. He put his hand on Ben\u2019s shoulder. \u201cNow let\u2019s not borrow trouble and panic about this,\u201d he said. \u201cIt could be nothing more than a bad migraine headache.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cYou didn\u2019t see him when they rode into the front yard,\u201d he said. \u201cHe looked \u2026\u201d He shuddered slightly. \u201cI thought he was gone,\u201d he half whispered to himself. \u201cJust like Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is nothing like Marie!\u201d snapped Paul. \u201cNow you just get that thought right out of your head Ben!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up, startled by the tone in the doctor\u2019s voice. \u201cThen can you honestly tell me that he\u2019s going to be all right?\u201d he challenged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul sighed. \u201cAll I\u2019m saying is that we need to examine all the possibilities before we jump to any conclusions,\u201d he said. \u201cAs I said, it could be nothing more than a bad headache \u2026 or it could be pressure on the optic nerve caused by the fall.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cAnd if it is?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shrugged. \u201cIt all depends on how much pressure there is,\u201d he said. \u201cOnly time will tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMeaning?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat we just have to wait and see,\u201d replied Paul. \u201cKeep the room darkened if that\u2019s what he wants and keep him as still as possible with no activity. If it\u2019s the nerve that\u2019s being pressured then it might just right itself, given time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d Ben gazed into the fire as he thought about what Paul had said. \u201cIf it is pressure on the optic nerve \u2026 then what is pressuring it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul bit his lip before replying. \u201cWell \u2026 it could be a swelling of the brain \u2026\u201d He held up his hand as Ben\u2019s eyes snapped wide open instantly and locked with his. \u201cNow calm down,\u201d he said. \u201cIt might not be anything to do with the brain at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut if it is?\u201d persisted Ben. \u201cWhat then? What if his brain has been injured, Paul?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul bit his lip again. \u201cThen there\u2019s nothing that can be done,\u201d he said. Now it was his turn to stand up and start pacing up and down in front of the fireplace. \u201cThe brain is a very complex organ Ben,\u201d he said. He put his foot on the large stone fireplace surround and leant his elbow on it as he stared into the fire. \u201cSometimes I think that we\u2019re going backwards when it come to my profession,\u201d he mused, half to himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul turned to face him. \u201cWell, I read once that they used to do brain surgery in ancient Egypt,\u201d he said. \u201cAmazing! And here we are thousands of years later without a real clue about how the brain even works.\u201d He sighed again. \u201cNo,\u201d he admitted. \u201cWe doctors like to present the impression that we know a lot, but when it comes to the brain and how it works there is very little that we do know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re saying that \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not saying anything definitive yet,\u201d interrupted Paul. \u201cAll I\u2019m saying is that we just have to give Adam time to heal. When he\u2019s up to it I\u2019ll come back and ask him some questions and maybe he\u2019ll have something to tell us that will help me work out what this is.\u201d He walked over and put his hand on Ben\u2019s shoulder again. \u201cIn the meantime, my friend, you\u2019re going to have to take it easy if you\u2019re going to be of any use to Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI know you\u2019re right,\u201d he said. \u201cHop Sing will help me keep an eye on him until you get back. Besides \u2026.\u201d He glanced towards the front door. \u201cThere are the boys to consider in all of this. After what they went through last year I have to be strong for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019ll all be strong for each other, I\u2019m sure of that.\u201d He picked up his black bag. \u201cNow I\u2019ve got to get back to town. I\u2019ll be back tomorrow morning first thing Ben. You take care.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and tried to smile at the man. \u201cThank you Paul,\u201d he said. He stared into the fire, hardly hearing the door as it closed behind the doctor. In the middle of the flames he visualised Adam\u2019s face and the thought made his heart constrict. With a sigh he stood up and then walked to the front door, wondering as he did so how he was going to explain things to his two younger boys without causing them too much anxiety.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa,\u201d said Adam, turning his head slightly on the pillow to give his father an apologetic look. \u201cI should have told you about those other two times.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you should,\u201d said Ben. \u201cBut that can\u2019t be helped now. What\u2019s important is getting you well again. Paul?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul Martin sat back in his chair. \u201cFrom what Adam has told me, it sounds like it could well be the optic nerve,\u201d he said. \u201cThen again \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen again means you\u2019re still not sure,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul nodded in agreement. \u201cIt\u2019s at times like this that I realise just how hard a country doctor\u2019s life can be,\u201d he said, ruefully. \u201cNo colleagues to confer with.\u201d He sat forward in his chair and looked up at Ben. \u201cWhat I can do though is send a wire to Matthew Briggs in Reno and get a second opinion about this before I make any final judgement. I\u2019ll outline Adam\u2019s symptoms and see if Doctor Briggs comes to the same conclusion as I am beginning to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhich is?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhich is that you\u2019re not to worry too much about things,\u201d replied Paul in a brighter tone. \u201cWhat you need right now is rest, quiet and plenty of it young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell it\u2019s a bit hard not to worry,\u201d said Adam. \u201cHow do I help it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose so,\u201d admitted Paul. \u201cWell, I will say this.\u201d He looked up at Ben. \u201cIt\u2019s either the optic nerve or \u2026\u201d Ben nodded slightly. \u201cOr \u2026maybe some pressure on the \u2026 brain,\u201d he said, looking at Adam to gauge his reaction to his words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes widened slightly. \u201cBrain?\u201d he said. \u201cOptic nerve? What\u2019s all this mean then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means that any undue movement could make your symptoms return,\u201d said Paul, trying to evade the questions. \u201cSo that\u2019s why I\u2019m telling you that you need rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u201cBut \u2026.\u201d he began.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cNo buts, Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cYou heard Paul. The most important thing right now is doing what he says and if that includes trying not to worry, then that\u2019s what you need to try and do.\u201d He put his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI know it\u2019s hard son, but you\u2019ve just got to trust Paul. He knows what he\u2019s talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I\u2019ll try,\u201d said Adam in a grumpy tone. \u201cBut can I at least get back up to my own room? At least I can get some reading done up there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at Paul who shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cWe can\u2019t take the risk on moving you just yet Adam,\u201d the man replied. \u201cBesides, there\u2019ll be no reading right now. When I said that you need rest, that includes taking a break from reading.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave the doctor a shocked look. \u201cBut I can\u2019t!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can and you will,\u201d said Ben firmly. \u201cThat\u2019s all there is to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glared at his father. \u201cBut … the examination \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Adam,\u201d said Ben. \u201cNow that\u2019s an end to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam crossed his arms over his chest and glared up at both of the men as they looked down at him. \u201cSon, there\u2019s no need getting all riled up over this,\u201d said Paul. \u201cA bit of a break from reading won\u2019t do you any harm. If it is your optic nerve then you could do a great deal of harm by using your eyes too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cAll right,\u201d he said grudgingly. \u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Now get some rest.\u201d Paul motioned to Ben and both men left the room. \u201cBen,\u201d he continued, when they were in the living room, \u201cI meant that. Reading would be one of the worst things he could do right about now. He needs to rest his eyes in case it is the optic nerve and if it is the brain \u2026 well, it\u2019s even more important.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe brain,\u201d said Ben, his despair appearing on his face again. \u201cThat\u2019s what we keep coming back to, isn\u2019t it? Did it sound like his symptoms could indicate that something is wrong with his brain, Paul?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike I said yesterday … only time will tell,\u201d admitted the doctor. \u201cBut if it is the brain \u2026 well \u2026 it could mean a blood clot and that \u2026\u201d he gave his friend a pitiful look. \u201cBen, I won\u2019t lie to you \u2026 that could be fatal.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI\u2019ve been expecting as much,\u201d he said in a whisper. \u201cI knew that\u2019s what you were thinking yesterday, but you just didn\u2019t know how to say it.\u201d He stared at the guest bedroom door for a long few seconds. \u201cI don\u2019t want him told how serious this could be,\u201d he said. \u201cIf it is \u2026\u201d He choked slightly on his words. \u201cIf it is \u2026 something like that \u2026 then I want \u2026\u201d Words failed him and he sat down heavily on the sofa and put his face in his hands. \u201cLord help him,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd help me to bear it. First Marie \u2026 now \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, don\u2019t think like that,\u201d said Paul quickly. \u201cIt might not be as serious as all that and you\u2019ll find out you were worrying for nothing.\u201d He looked down at the man. \u201cI\u2019m sorry to leave you like this, but if I\u2019m going to get that wire to Reno \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up immediately. \u201cYes,\u201d he agreed. \u201cYou go. I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d He gestured with his hand and then turned to stare into the fire as the door closed behind him, his thoughts racing through his head at a mile a minute.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He can\u2019t die! What would I do without him? He can\u2019t die!<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s head jerked up and he frowned to see Hoss standing on the stairs. \u201cYou\u2019re up early,\u201d he said, trying to sound brighter than he felt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard a buggy in the front yard,\u201d said Hoss, coming down the stairs. \u201cWho was it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoc Martin,\u201d replied his father. \u201cHe came out just on sun-up to see how Adam is doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss came and sat next to his father. \u201cHow is he doing?\u201d he asked fearfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not sure yet,\u201d admitted his father, putting his arm around the boy. \u201cWe all need to pray that he\u2019ll be fine though. Remember what I\u2019ve always told you about God answering our prayers?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cBut you also said that sometimes the answer is no.\u201d He looked up at his father, tears in his eyes. \u201cPa \u2026. I couldn\u2019t bear it if Adam died! I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d do without my big brother!\u201d He leant towards his father\u2019s chest and sobbed into it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben clutched his son tightly towards him, his thoughts a mixture of concern for his middle son and his anxiety for his eldest. \u201cI know son,\u201d he said soothingly. \u201cI know. I don\u2019t what I\u2019d do without him either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Father and son sat for a few minutes, both feeling the comfort that came from their closeness. After a while Ben drew back from Hoss, put his finger under the boy\u2019s chin and lifted the tear-streaked face towards his own. \u201cNow, we both have to be brave,\u201d he said. \u201cFor Adam\u2019s sake \u2026 and for Little Joe. He doesn\u2019t realise how serious this is .. and I don\u2019t want him to. I need you to look after him for me while I\u2019m busy with Adam. Can you do that for me Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d said Hoss, wiping his tears away. \u201cYou know I\u2019ll always look after Joe Pa. Just like Adam \u2026. Just like Adam always used ta look after me.\u201d He caught his breath on a sob again and turned away to wipe the remainder of his tears away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said his father. \u201cI can always rely on my boys \u2026 that\u2019s one thing I\u2019m sure of.\u201d He gave Hoss another hug. \u201cNow, you go and see if Hop Sing is up and help him with getting breakfast ready before Joe makes it downstairs. He\u2019s been busy all night helping me watch Adam and he\u2019ll need some help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOK Pa,\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited until the boy had left the room before allowing himself the luxury of a few tears of his own, then with his jaw set in a firm line he stood up and faced the guest room door yet again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c \u2026. and so he went right over the bucket,\u201d finished Joe. \u201cAin\u2019t that great?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d said Adam, staring at the ceiling and thinking how ironic it was that even his little brother\u2019s chatter could interest him in the absence of anything else to do. But after two days of lying here looking at the ceiling, he supposed that anything would sound interesting \u2026. even Joe\u2019s inane non-stop chatter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a soft tap at the door and Hoss looked around the edge of the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cPa said to check on you and see if Joe was talking too much,\u201d he said, coming into the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t talk too much!\u201d declared Joe, from his position on the chair that his father had placed well away from Adam\u2019s bed in case the little boy kicked it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grinned at Hoss knowingly and Hoss returned the look. \u201cIt\u2019s fine,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s my turn now to sit with ya anyways,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cGet going Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I ain\u2019t finished my story!\u201d protested Joe. \u201cI ain\u2019t had enough time with Adam yet!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou did,\u201d countered Hoss. \u201cYou had a whole hour and Pa says it\u2019s my turn now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pouted as he slid off the chair and faced his brother. \u201cWell, I\u2019m gonna come back and tell you some more funny stories later,\u201d he said to Adam. He leant on the edge of the bed and whispered into his ear. \u201cBout my frog,\u201d he said. He put his hand over his mouth and straightened up again quickly as the bed jiggled slightly. \u201cI didn\u2019t meant to move it!\u201d he declared defensively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s OK buddy,\u201d said Adam, wearily. \u201cIt\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa told you not to touch that bed!\u201d said Hoss. \u201cNow move away from it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked so contrite as he moved away from the bed that Adam felt the need to help him cheer up. \u201cNever mind buddy,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll look forward to you coming back in a while. I\u2019m so bored that I\u2019m even enjoying your stories.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sarcasm meant nothing within Joe\u2019s small world, so he took the comment at face value and grinned at his brother. \u201cOK,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll cheer you up again later then, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam?\u201d said Hoss, sitting down on the chair. \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking bout something that might cheer you up too. Pa said you ain\u2019t allowed to read all your books, but maybe I could read some of em to you instead?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face lit up. \u201cYou\u2019d do that for me?\u201d he said. \u201cI thought you didn\u2019t like reading?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t,\u201d he said. \u201cI never said I\u2019d enjoy it, but I\u2019ll do it for you if Pa says I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll read to you too Adam!\u201d declared Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss turned to him. \u201cReading was my idea,\u201d he said firmly. \u201cSides \u2026 you can\u2019t even read yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe put on one of his most stubborn looks. \u201c\u201dWell, you could teach me and then I could read to Adam too!\u201d he declared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou get your own idea,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cReading is mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked thoughtful for a moment and then his face brightened. \u201cOK,\u201d he said after a moment. \u201cI got a good idea to cheer you up Adam! I\u2019ll come back soon!\u201d He scampered from the room quickly without a backwards glance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate the thought about the reading,\u201d said Adam as soon as Joe had left. \u201cBut I really don\u2019t think Pa will allow it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged again. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll ask him,\u201d he said. \u201cYou never know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow is Pa?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cEvery time he comes in here he looks real tired. I know he\u2019s worrying about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d admitted Hoss. \u201cWe all are. But Pa is cranky with Joe too, so that don\u2019t help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? What\u2019s he done now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell it\u2019s all on account of that frog of his,\u201d explained Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat frog?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cHe kept telling about some frog, but I had no idea what he was talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 he kinda got upset the other day when we found that spider squashed on the wheel of the buckboard,\u201d explained Hoss. \u201cSo I went down to the creek and got him a frog for a pet instead.\u201d He scratched his head thoughtfully. \u201cPa says it weren\u2019t a good idea in hind \u2026 hindsight. What\u2019s hindsight mean, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means thinking back on it,\u201d said his brother. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell he\u2019s taken to carrying it with him all the time in his pocket,\u201d went on Hoss. \u201cPa yelled at him last night cause it was under the blankets in his bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I heard yelling from upstairs,\u201d smiled Adam. \u201cSo that\u2019s what it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd at breakfast this morning it hopped into the eggs and got Hop Sing all cranky,\u201d said Hoss, also grinning. \u201cPa says that Joe will be the death of him one day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s smile broadened. \u201cHe\u2019s probably right,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss leant closer to the bed. \u201cYou OK Adam?\u201d he asked tentatively. \u201cYou feeling a bit better now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled at his brother. \u201cSure am,\u201d he said. \u201cI think Doc Martin and Pa are fussing too much to be honest. My head\u2019s been fine these past two days.\u201d He sighed. \u201cThe only problem is that I\u2019m about ready to die from boredom \u2026. which is why your idea is a great one Hoss. If Pa allows it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf Pa allows what?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both of them turned their heads to see their father standing in the doorway. \u201cHi Pa,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cI had an idea to read to Adam. Would that be OK?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben hesitated. \u201cI don\u2019t see why not,\u201d he said, finally. \u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face split into a huge grin. \u201cReally?\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019d be great Pa!\u201d He turned to Hoss. \u201cGo upstairs and get the three books from my dresser and we can start straight away Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stood up. \u201cOK,\u201d he said. \u201cBut just remember that I can\u2019t read words that are real hard. You might have to help me with some of em.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m happy that you\u2019re just going to read to me,\u201d replied Adam. \u201cI don\u2019t care how many times you stumble over the words, brother. You can sound them out to me and I\u2019ll tell you what they are.\u201d He put his hand out and clutched hold of Hoss\u2019. \u201cThanks,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grinned at him and left the room without saying another word. \u201cHe really is a great kid,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he is,\u201d agreed Ben, coming to stand by the end of the bed. \u201cHow\u2019s the head?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI don\u2019t see why I can\u2019t sit up now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot until Paul says,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWe\u2019re not taking any chances.\u201d He turned sharply as a movement in the doorway startled him. \u201cJoseph,\u201d he said. \u201cI thought you went outside?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe immediately put his hands behind his back and stared up at his father with wide-eyed innocence. \u201cI did,\u201d he said. \u201cBut I came back in again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat have you got behind your back, young man?\u201d asked his father suspiciously, noting the child\u2019s innocent look which was always a forerunner to trouble in his opinion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust something to show Adam,\u201d said Joe, edging away from his father and towards his brother\u2019s bed. \u201cTo cheer him up with. You said before that we had ta help cheer him up Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly there was a loud croaking sound that split the silence and Ben immediately frowned. \u201cHave you got that darned frog in this house again? Didn\u2019t I tell you it was not to come inside here again?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took another step backwards. \u201cI only done brought him in to see Adam!\u201d he declared. \u201cTo cheer him up!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet that animal out of here this instant!\u201d demanded Ben, pointing to the door. \u201cGo!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe scowled at his father and then held the large green frog up for Adam to see. \u201cHis name\u2019s Hoppy,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot surprising,\u201d replied Adam, quite amused. \u201cConsidering that you name every frog that you see Hoppy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d said Ben, pointing to the door again. \u201cOutside!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe scampered from the room quickly, leaving Adam chuckling. \u201cWell you must admit that he achieved the result he wanted,\u201d he said. \u201cHe did cheer me up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat boy will be the death of me,\u201d muttered his father and then caught his son\u2019s expression and began to chuckle along with Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust open a bit wider,\u201d said Paul as he shifted to get a better view with his magnifiying glass as he gazed into Adam\u2019s eyes, \u201cThat\u2019s it.\u201d He straightened up again and smiled at the young man. \u201cWell, that\u2019s good,\u201d he said. \u201cNo visible change that I can see. You say you\u2019ve had no more headaches?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cNone at all. Can I get up to my own room now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u201cI don\u2019t see why not,\u201d he said. \u201cAs long as we take it nice and slowly so as not to move that head around too much.\u201d He turned to look at Ben. \u201cI got the wire from Matthew Briggs this morning and he agrees with my conclusions,\u201d he said. \u201cWe both think that the jolt to his head caused a slight rupture into the cavity behind the eye.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that caused the pressure on his optic nerve?\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d replied Paul, putting his magnifying glass into his bag and shutting it. \u201cOf course, that\u2019s just a theory and we can\u2019t be sure.\u201d He sighed. \u201cI wish there was some way of looking inside a person\u2019s head to be sure of such things. Maybe one day there will be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell whatever caused it, I\u2019m OK now and that\u2019s the main thing,\u201d said Adam. \u201cThanks Doc. Now I can get back to \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul put up his hand. \u201cNow you just hold on a minute there,\u201d he said. \u201cAs I said \u2026 that\u2019s just a theory which hasn\u2019t been proven as yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, how can you prove it?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t,\u201d replied Paul. \u201cWe just have to assume that as you\u2019ve had no more symptoms that things are righting themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI see. Well, at least I\u2019m better now and that\u2019s all that counts,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul sat down on the edge of the bed and gave the young man an intense look. \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t want you to get the wrong idea about all of this,\u201d he said. \u201cYou seem to be on the mend, that\u2019s true, but you\u2019re by no means out of the woods yet. You\u2019re going to have to continue to take things easy for quite a while to come. If it is what I suspect, then your head needs time to heal and that\u2019s not going to happen overnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, of course not,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI understand that. But at least now I can read a bit and sit up in bed, can\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Paul. \u201cYou can certainly sit up in bed and a bit of light reading won\u2019t hurt you \u2026 although I hear that Hoss has been helping in that department.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cBoth of the boys have been trying to keep his spirits up,\u201d he said. \u201cWe all have.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam made a wry face. \u201cIf I have to eat one more special meal that Hop Sing has prepared for me I think I\u2019ll choke,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI\u2019ve never been so full in my life!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll do you good,\u201d chuckled Paul. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing like rest and a belly full of wholesome food to hasten recovery. All thing going well son, you should be out of that bed in a few weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cA few weeks?\u201d he said. \u201cBut I thought it\u2019d be a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shook his head firmly. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cA few weeks.\u201d He looked up at Ben who nodded in agreement. \u201cYou can walk him slowly up to his room later today,\u201d the doctor instructed. \u201cBut only about an hour or so of reading every day until I say differently.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cWhatever you say Paul,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cAll right,\u201d he agreed. \u201cIt looks as though Hoss will need to continue reading to me as well for a bit longer though. An hour or so each day just won\u2019t be enough for me to get through all I need to cover between now and the examination.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul stared a Ben for a moment and Ben shrugged. \u201cWell at least it\u2019ll be good for Hoss\u2019 reading,\u201d Paul said after a moment. \u201cGeorge Breckenridge will be pleased to hear that he\u2019s practising during his vacation.\u201d He stood up. \u201cBy the way, he was asking after you this morning. He said to tell you that he\u2019d like to come out and visit if it would be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes it up. \u201cThat\u2019d be fine,\u201d he said, enthusiastically. \u201cI\u2019ve thought of a few questions to ask him about that examination while I\u2019ve been lying here doing nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul gave Ben another look and Ben shook his head slightly. \u201cWell, you be careful getting up to your room,\u201d said Paul finally, patting Adam\u2019s knee. \u201cAnd rest. I\u2019ll be back in a day or two to check on you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Ben closed the door behind them, the doctor turned to him. \u201cIt hasn\u2019t sunk in with him yet, has it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben bit his lip and shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul pulled something out of his pocket. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to give him this without your permission,\u201d he said, holding it out. \u201cI thought I\u2019d help you out and pick up the mail before coming out here and this was the only thing at the Mail Office.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at the letter. \u201cIt\u2019s from Boston,\u201d he said. \u201cHarvard.\u201d He looked up at the doctor. \u201cI almost hate to give it to him,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I know this examination is very important to him,\u201d said Paul. \u201cBut you said it\u2019s in \u2026 how long?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe end of the month,\u201d said Ben. \u201cTwo weeks from Thursday.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it\u2019s in St Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the closest examination centre \u2026 yes,\u201d replied Ben, looking decidedly worried at the thought of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shook his head. \u201cBen \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Ben interrupted the doctor. \u201cThere\u2019s no way he\u2019s going to make it, is there?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA trip like that? No,\u201d said Paul simply. \u201cNo way. You allow him to get into a stage in his condition Ben and you\u2019ll most likely kill him. At least, there\u2019s no guarantee that you won\u2019t. My professional opinion is that he shouldn\u2019t go under any condition.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed as he stared at the letter. \u201cWhat if he continues to improve at the rate he has been?\u201d he asked finally. \u201cYou said yourself that he\u2019s doing very well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shook his head. \u201cNo Ben,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been afraid of this,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWell, I suppose I\u2019d better be the one to tell him and I\u2019d best get this over with.\u201d He patted Paul on the shoulder. \u201cThanks for coming out again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem,\u201d said Paul. \u201cAnd good luck.\u201d He headed for the doorway. \u201cTell Hop Sing next time I come I\u2019ll stay for one of his delicious dinners.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and waved. As the door closed, he stared at the letter in his hand for a full minute before opening the door to the guest room bedroom again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoc gone?\u201d asked Adam, looking over at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d replied Ben, coming to sit next to the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are Hoss and Joe?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cIt\u2019s awfully quiet around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss took Little Joe down to the creek,\u201d said his father. \u201cThey\u2019re letting that frog go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam chuckled. \u201cAnd presumably little brother isn\u2019t too happy about that?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said his father. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t give him much of a choice. He\u2019ll find another pet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan you help me up to my own room now?\u201d asked Adam eagerly. \u201cI\u2019m dying to get up there and \u2026.\u201d He gave his father a strange look. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter Pa? You\u2019re looking \u2026.\u201d He frowned suddenly. \u201cIs there something you\u2019re not telling me? You promised that Doc Martin would be honest and tell me everything that \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cNo, there\u2019s nothing like that,\u201d he said. \u201cPaul was completely honest with you son. He seems to think that you\u2019re on the road to recovery, providing that you do as you\u2019re told and take it easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen what?\u201d persisted Adam. \u201cI can tell there\u2019s something from the look on your face.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held out the letter. \u201cPaul picked this up from the Mail Office for you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes lit up as he grabbed the letter from his father\u2019s hand and looked at the postmark. \u201cIt\u2019s come,\u201d he said, excitedly. \u201cI thought it would be this week.\u201d He ripped open the envelope and skimmed the contents of the letter quickly before giving a relieved sigh. \u201cI\u2019m accepted to do the examination in St Joe Missouri on the 28th,\u201d he said, smiling at his father. \u201cThat\u2019s a relief to finally get it.\u201d He looked down at the letter again and re-read it before adding. \u201cI was pretty confident of being accepted, but it\u2019s nice to see it in writing even so.\u201d He smiled again at his father. \u201cAren\u2019t you going to congratulate me Pa?\u201d he asked happily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCongratulations,\u201d said Ben, his heart breaking with the knowledge that he what he was about to say would be the cause of so much pain for his son. \u201cAdam \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll have to book that stage ticket now,\u201d mused Adam. \u201cCan you do it for me tomorrow Pa? The sooner the better, now that I\u2019ve got the letter.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd clothes,\u201d Adam continued, not even hearing his father. \u201cI know it\u2019ll only be for a few days, but I\u2019ll have to look over what I\u2019ve got.\u201d He glanced at his father. \u201cDo you think we\u2019ll be able to afford a new shirt? My best one is \u2026\u201d He stopped, finally noting the expression on Ben\u2019s face. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter Pa?\u201d he asked. \u201cYou\u2019re not looking too happy about the news.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam \u2026\u201d Ben took a deep breath. \u201cSon \u2026\u201d There was silence as he desperately sought for the right words to break the news to his boy. \u201cAdam \u2026 Paul is of the opinion that you shouldn\u2019t travel so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cRubbish,\u201d he said. \u201cI feel fine. Anyway, it\u2019s two weeks away yet and I\u2019ll be up and about by then. He just hinted at that himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou\u2019ll most likely be up and about by then, but there\u2019s a whole of difference in walking around and going on a long stage trip son. Paul thinks that the jolting of the stage wouldn\u2019t be in your best interests.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked slightly miffed. \u201cBut going by stagecoach is the easiest way to get there,\u201d he said. \u201cWhat does he expect me to do? Ride all the way to Missouri on horseback?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence. \u201cThen what?\u201d persisted Adam. \u201cHow else am I supposed to get there?\u201d When Ben took a deep breath and said nothing, Adam shot his father an incredulous look. \u201cYou\u2019re saying that he doesn\u2019t think I should go?\u201d said Adam. \u201cIs he mad?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Ben, trying to remain calm for his son\u2019s sake. \u201cHe\u2019s a doctor and his opinion is that it would be dangerous for you to submit yourself to such a journey so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I don\u2019t care,\u201d said Adam, stubbornly. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t understand how important this is. I\u2019m going and that\u2019s all there is to it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo son, you\u2019re not,\u201d said Ben in a low voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared at his father for a full minute before opening his mouth. \u201cYou agree with him!\u201d he said, his voice rising. \u201cI can\u2019t believe it! You know how important this is to me!\u201d Ben put a hand on Adam\u2019s where it rested on the bed, but his son shrugged away from it. \u201cI\u2019m going Pa,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t care what you say \u2026. I\u2019m going to St Joe for that examination and that\u2019s all there is to it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo son, you\u2019re not,\u201d repeated Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s jaw dropped and he stared at his father again. \u201cWhat?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not going,\u201d said Ben firmly. \u201cI\u2019m not prepared to let you risk your life in any way Adam.\u201d His heart constricted at the sight of his boy\u2019s face. \u201cSon \u2026 I know how much this means to you, but \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d shouted Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, calm down,\u201d said his father. \u201cGetting upset like this won\u2019t help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d shouted Adam again. \u201cI\u2019m going Pa! You can\u2019t stop me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glared at his father. \u201cYou have no idea what you\u2019re doing to me,\u201d he said. \u201cI thought you of all people would understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do understand son,\u201d said Ben, trying to keep his voice on an even tone. \u201cI know what it\u2019s like to have a dream and \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d spat out Adam. \u201cAnd you got your dream. The Ponderosa! It\u2019s always been your dream and you told me more times than I can count how you overcome so many obstacles to achieve it. Well … going to Harvard is my dream and I\u2019m going to do anything to make it come true too!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I admire you for that,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou worked so hard for this and \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d interrupted Adam. \u201cAnd all that work isn\u2019t going to be for nothing. I\u2019m not going to let you ruin my chance at this all because of some crazy doctor \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPaul Martin is not crazy,\u201d interrupted Ben. \u201cAnd well you know it. I trust his opinion implicitly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all very well for you!\u201d spat Adam angrily. \u201cIt\u2019s not your dream that\u2019s being ruined! It\u2019s mine!\u201d His eyes narrowed as he glared at his father. \u201cYou already ruined it once and I\u2019m not going to let you do it again!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s jaw dropped. \u201cWhat?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes blazed as he faced his father and Ben noticed the tears that stood in them, waiting to fall. \u201cLast year,\u201d he said. \u201cI would already have been in college now if it hadn\u2019t been for \u2026.\u201d He stopped, gathering control of his emotions as he realised the look of hurt on his father\u2019s face. He swallowed and there was silence between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally, Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cOf course you\u2019re right. If it hadn\u2019t been for the way I acted after Marie died then you would have sat for the examination last year and perhaps already been in college by now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Adam, shortly as he stared at the bedcover.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I\u2019m sorry that you missed your chance last year,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shot a glance at his father. \u201cThen how can you deny me it this year?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I love you too much to risk anything happening to you,\u201d said his father. \u201cLast year, this year, next year \u2026 what does it matter, when you weigh it all up against your health son? Just because you can\u2019t sit for the examination now doesn\u2019t mean that you need to give up on it forever. There\u2019s always next year.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt matters to me,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood up. \u201cThis isn\u2019t good for either of us,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll continue this conversation with you when you\u2019ve had time to process the news. In the meantime you need to just keep calm for the sake of your health.\u201d He looked down at his son. \u201cI\u2019ll be back in a little while and we\u2019ll get you up to your own room,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence as Adam stared at the ceiling and refused to acknowledge his father. Ben picked up the letter that had fallen on the floor and placed it on the bed. \u201cTry and calm down a little,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Adam said nothing, Ben turned and walked from the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben placed the tray on the dresser and smiled at his son, propped up in the bed. \u201cHere\u2019s lunch,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t look up from the book. \u201cI\u2019m not hungry,\u201d he said in a curt tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to eat,\u201d said his father, trying to sound bright in spite of the tension in the air between them. \u201cHop Sing will be upset if you don\u2019t and you know what that means. He\u2019ll probably threaten to back to Old China.\u201d He smiled, but the expression faded as Adam didn\u2019t react to his remark.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTime to put that book away for now.\u201d Ben tried again. \u201cYou\u2019ve had long enough reading for now son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shut the book with a bang, put it on the bed and crossed his arms over his chest before looking up at the ceiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head slightly and sat down on the chair next to the bed. \u201cWell at least you\u2019re back in your old room again,\u201d he said, trying to hold onto his temper. \u201cThat must make you feel a bit better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam, still looking at the ceiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, this has to stop,\u201d ventured Ben. \u201cYou\u2019ve been refusing to talk to me for nearly two days now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d talk to you if you\u2019d see reason,\u201d said Adam, stubbornly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I am seeing,\u201d he said calmly. \u201cI\u2019m doing what\u2019s best for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what\u2019s best for me!\u201d snapped Adam. \u201cAnd missing that examination isn\u2019t what it is!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I happen to disagree,\u201d said Ben, crossing his own arms across his chest in imitation of his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen there\u2019s no need to talk about it, is there?\u201d said Adam bitterly. \u201cI don\u2019t have a choice.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, please don\u2019t see it like that,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cThere are always choices in life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked at the man for the first time. \u201cNo, there aren\u2019t!\u201d he snapped. \u201cYou\u2019ve taken all mine away from me. I hope you\u2019re happy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leant forward. \u201cI know you\u2019re very upset about this,\u201d he said. \u201cIn view of that and the fact that you\u2019re not well I\u2019ll excuse the way you\u2019re speaking to me,\u201d he said. \u201cBut I wouldn\u2019t advise you to continue using such a tone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFine!\u201d snapped Adam angrily. \u201cThen I won\u2019t speak.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cEat your lunch,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll come back and get the tray later.\u201d He walked out of the room and down the stairs, shaking his head as he went. It seemed that there was nothing he could do or say at this point to break through the barrier that was between himself and his son and the hard part of it all was that this was something he\u2019d never quite experienced before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Adam had been growing up he\u2019d had his trying years of course. There had been times when he and his father hadn\u2019t seen eye to eye on some things and Ben had found it necessary to take a disciplinary approach with the youngster.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But this was different.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was a man grown in just about all things and felt himself ready to take a responsible adult role in life. In fact, he\u2019d been doing just that for quite some time now, especially since Marie\u2019s death. Ben looked on his eldest son as a respected partner in the business of running The Ponderosa, but Adam was still his son and he was legally responsible for his welfare. Ben just couldn\u2019t make a decision that he felt would endanger his son\u2019s life, no matter how much of a barrier it put up between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All he could was hope that in time Adam would come to understand his decision, but in the meantime it hurt him deeply to feel this rift between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Ben wandered across the great room towards the open front door, he heard a small voice drifting in from the porch outside. \u201cHow come?\u201d the voice asked and Ben stood in the doorway to listen to the conversation that was progressing between his two younger sons who were seated side by side on the edge of the porch. \u201cHow come Hoss?\u201d asked Joe again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you remember Joe?\u201d said Hoss patiently. \u201cPa told us that Adam\u2019s angry because he got a big disappointment. He ain\u2019t angry with us, just with the disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell he sure sounds angry with us,\u201d declared Joe. \u201cHe yelled at me when I did nuthin but stand in his doorway and tell him a funny story to cheer him up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss sighed. \u201cYeah, I know,\u201d he said. \u201cHe\u2019s being right unsociable with me too little buddy, but he don\u2019t mean it. Pa says we gotta give him time to get over the big disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the big disappointment again?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cI forget.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s bout doing that examination,\u201d replied Hoss. \u201cSeems like he won\u2019t be going to college anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I don\u2019t mind,\u201d declared Joe. \u201cI didn\u2019t want him to go anyways.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNeither did I,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cBut that ain\u2019t the point Joe. Point is that Adam wanted to go and now he can\u2019t. Think how you\u2019d feel if you couldn\u2019t do something you really wanted to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe thought for a moment. \u201cLike keeping my frog?\u201d he asked. \u201cI really wanted to keep him, but Pa said no.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEven more than that,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cAdam\u2019s been wanting to go to college for an awfully long time Joe. He\u2019s real upset, so we gotta just have patience with him \u2026 so Pa says.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe thought again for a minute or two. \u201cHoss?\u201d he said. \u201cAdam\u2019s real angry with Pa, ain\u2019t he? He won\u2019t talk to him much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t never seen Adam and Pa not getting along before,\u201d said Joe sadly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cWhen Adam came home from the saloon late one night Pa yelled at him and then there was the time when he went off with the Bonner boys on that fishing trip too. Pa was real upset with him those times. You don\u2019t remember them cause you was only real little then Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cYeah,\u201d he agreed. \u201cBut now that I\u2019m all grown up I don\u2019t still don\u2019t remember them not getting along Hoss. Why won\u2019t they?\u201d He looked up at his big brother trustingly as if he could solve the problem.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss sighed again. \u201cI dunno Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cThey\u2019re both still mad at each other, I reckon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t like it,\u201d said Joe in a small voice. \u201cIt makes me all sad inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben walked away from the door, his feelings of guilt increased by the conversation. It was hard enough being a parent and telling your child no when you desperately wanted to say yes \u2026. and now his two other boys were hurting because of it. He just didn\u2019t see any solution to the whole situation and the thought made him even more depressed and helpless than he already felt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wandered over to his study and stood staring at the wall behind his desk, willing an idea to come into his head to take away his sons\u2019 pain, but knowing at the same time that there was nothing that he would come up with. Adam was right after all \u2026. His father was taking away his choices and Ben knew that he had no other option.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He lifted his head at the sound of a buggy in the front yard and twitched open the curtain behind his desk to see George Breckenridge pulling up at the front porch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello boys,\u201d he heard the teacher say as he got down from the buggy. \u201cHow are you both? Your Pa at home?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben strode to the front door. \u201cGeorge!\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m glad that you came out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George walked over and shook Ben\u2019s hand. \u201cI thought I\u2019d pay Adam a visit,\u201d he said. \u201cHow is he? Paul Martin told me that he\u2019s doing much better now and is just about out of danger.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right cranky cause he had a big disappointment,\u201d piped up Little Joe before his father could answer. \u201cYou better be careful mister or he might shout at you too!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George smiled. \u201cThank you for warning me. I\u2019ll make sure I am careful then,\u201d he said with a twinkle in his eyes. \u201cI hear tell that you\u2019ve been doing some extra reading practice, Eric. Helping out your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss dug his toe into the dirt. \u201cYes sir,\u201d he mumbled as he looked down at it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m pleased to hear it,\u201d smiled the teacher. \u201cIt will help to brighten Adam up and it won\u2019t hurt your comprehension skills either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir,\u201d mumbled Hoss again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on in,\u201d said Ben, motioning towards the house. \u201cAdam will be pleased to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d they heard Little Joe say as they went into the house. \u201cWhat\u2019s com \u2026 comphenshun?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t rightly know Joe,\u201d Hoss acknowledged. \u201cOnly I reckon it\u2019s got something to do with liking books and stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George chuckled at the remark as Ben closed the door behind them. \u201cNo wonder it\u2019s not his best subject if he doesn\u2019t even know what it means,\u201d he said. He frowned as Ben didn\u2019t smile at the joke. \u201cI\u2019m sorry Ben,\u201d he said. \u201cI meant no offence.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put up his hand. \u201cNone taken,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m the one who\u2019s sorry. I\u2019m just very distracted with all that\u2019s happening around here at the moment George.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell you\u2019ve a right to be,\u201d replied George. \u201cFrom what Paul Martin told me, Adam\u2019s been one very sick young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe has indeed,\u201d said Ben. \u201cAnd he\u2019s not out of the woods yet. He\u2019ll be pleased to see you though. Go on up to his room if you like \u2026 the first on the left at the top of the stairs. I\u2019ll give you some time with him alone and I\u2019ll get some coffee organised for you for when you\u2019ve finished.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat down on the sofa and watched the teacher climb the stairs, his heart still heavy with concern for all his boys.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello there,\u201d said George brightly as he knocked softly on Adam\u2019s door. \u201cAre you feeling up to a visitor?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam opened his eyes and smiled \u2026 his first in a couple of days. \u201cOf course,\u201d he said. \u201cIt was nice of you to come. I was hoping that you would because there are some things I want to talk to you about.\u201d He looked eagerly at the teacher as the man sat on the chair next to his bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, first of all \u2026 how are you feeling?\u201d asked George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI feel fine,\u201d said Adam. \u201cPa and Doc Martin are just being worry warts.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George raised an eyebrow at the response. \u201cI\u2019m sure they\u2019ve only got your best interests at heart Adam,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cI know,\u201d he said. \u201cBut they both agree that I shouldn\u2019t travel to St Joe for the examination.\u201d He looked at the man to gauge his reaction. \u201cYou of all people know how important this is to me,\u201d he said. \u201cCan you understand why I\u2019m feeling so badly about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I can,\u201d George admitted. \u201cI know how hard you\u2019ve worked. I didn\u2019t realise that it was a problem for you to travel though. I saw Paul Martin in town the other day and he said that you were improving every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I am,\u201d said Adam firmly. \u201cBut not enough that they\u2019ll agree that I can make the trip.\u201d He sat forward in the bed and looked at the teacher intently. \u201cI understand what they\u2019re saying,\u201d he said. \u201cBut it\u2019s just that this is so important. It\u2019s not as if I wouldn\u2019t be careful or anything. I\u2019m not stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George smiled at him. \u201cNo one could accuse you of being stupid Adam,\u201d he agreed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI knew that you\u2019d see it my way,\u201d he said. He looked at George eagerly. \u201cI\u00a0 \u2026 um \u2026 I have a favour to ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d replied George. \u201cAnything I can do, you know that I will.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grinned and breathed a sigh of relief. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said sincerely. \u201cI knew I\u2019d be able to count on you. You see \u2026 I need someone to buy me a ticket for St Joe. I have a bit of money in the bank and I\u2019d be able to pay you back as soon as I\u2019m back on my feet again. The rest of it I could maybe work off for you when I\u2019m able to you \u2026 you know \u2026 chopping wood, doing any kind of chores around your place \u2026 that sort of thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you\u2019re thinking,\u201d continued Adam quickly. \u201cAbout what the Doc and Pa think. But I\u2019m the one who knows best how I\u2019m feeling and I wouldn\u2019t have to board that stage for another week yet. Who knows? I\u2019ll probably be back in the saddle in a week and then it will be too late to arrange anything about a ticket.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shook his head. \u201cI\u2019d like to help you son \u2026 really I would,\u201d he said. \u201cBut I can\u2019t go against what your Pa and Paul Martin think.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cI thought you said you\u2019d anything for me?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnything expept that,\u201d replied the teacher. \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEven though you know how important this is to me?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cEven though you know how hard I\u2019ve worked?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cLook Adam, I know how hard this must be for you. I remember feeling just like you do once. The burning in your soul to learn \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExactly!\u201d said Adam. \u201cYou do understand, I know that. You know better than anyone else around here just what Harvard can do for me. You know that I need to go there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d admitted George. \u201cI do. But surely it isn\u2019t worth risking your life over?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a bit dramatic,\u201d said Adam with a snort. \u201cI\u2019m not risking my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf the doctor says no, then I\u2019m sure he knows what he\u2019s talking about,\u201d said George. \u201cYou have to trust his professional opinion.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sound like my Pa,\u201d said Adam bitterly. \u201cSo \u2026. You won\u2019t help me then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said George. \u201cSorry as I am to say it \u2026 I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat back in the bed and crossed his arms over his chest. \u201cWell thanks for nothing,\u201d he said grumpily. \u201cI really thought I could count on you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d said George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d said Adam in a low voice, staring at the ceiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s always next semester,\u201d continued George. \u201cThey do take in a few students in the second semester each year.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI\u2019ve waited long enough and it\u2019s now or never.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George stood up. \u201cWell, it seems to me that if you were really serious you\u2019d be willing to defer until later,\u201d he said. \u201cMaybe you\u2019re not as serious about all this as you let on?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave him a shocked look. \u201cI am serious!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shrugged. \u201cWell then, prove it,\u201d he said. \u201cWrite back and ask for a postponement.\u201d When Adam said nothing, he patted the young man on the shoulder. \u201cYou think about it,\u201d he said. \u201cI must go now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for coming,\u201d said Adam in a monotone voice. He didn\u2019t even look at the teacher as the man left the room, but continued to stare at the ceiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George smiled at Ben as he reached the bottom step of the staircase. \u201cThat\u2019s one disappointed young man you\u2019ve got up there,\u201d he said. \u201cI can\u2019t say as I blame him though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said Ben, motioning for George to sit on the sofa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUm \u2026 he tried to get me to buy a ticket for him to St Joe,\u201d said George. \u201cI thought you should know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised an eyebrow at the remark. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t surprise me,\u201d he said. \u201cHe\u2019s adamant that he\u2019s still going, but I have to agree with Paul Martin. It\u2019s just too dangerous at this stage. Lord knows I wish it wasn\u2019t, for I\u2019d give anything to see him happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d mused George. \u201cI suggested that he defer the examination until next semester, but he didn\u2019t seem too keen on doing that either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at the teacher. \u201cNext semester?\u201d he said. \u201cThey take students in then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes,\u201d said George. \u201cBut I have a feeling that your son won\u2019t settle for that. He\u2019s determined that he wants to go now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cI know,\u201d he said. \u201cHe\u2019s very stubborn when he sets his mind to it. Well, he\u2019ll just have to get it into his head that it can\u2019t be and that\u2019s all there is to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know \u2026.\u201d began George and then stopped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d said Ben, when he didn\u2019t continue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The teacher sat silently for a moment staring into the fireplace and then looked at Ben. \u201cI\u2019ve had an idea,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s a long shot, but \u2026.\u201d He stroked his chin. \u201cI wonder \u2026.\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Ben, sitting forward in his chair. \u201cI don\u2019t care how much of a long shot it is \u2026. I\u2019d do anything to help Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said George. \u201cI\u2019m just wondering if I wrote to Harvard and offered to supervise Adam doing the examination here? With my background as teacher back East they can\u2019t say I\u2019m not a reputable person to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face lit up. \u201cDo you think they\u2019d agree?\u201d he said eagerly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really not sure,\u201d said George. \u201cBut if Paul Martin sent a letter along with mine and explained Adam\u2019s medical condition \u2026 well they just might.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s worth a try, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do indeed,\u201d said Ben, smiling at him. \u201cI can\u2019t thank you enough for thinking of this \u2026 and being willing to do it.\u201d He stopped. \u201cOnly \u2026 where would he do the examination?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see why he couldn\u2019t do it right here in this house,\u201d said George. \u201cAs long as I agreed to supervise him it wouldn\u2019t really matter where.\u201d He thought for a moment. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t tell Adam about this yet if I were you though, Ben. They could easily say no and then his hopes would be dashed again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut a letter,\u201d said Ben. \u201cSurely there isn\u2019t time to get one to Boston and then wait for their reply?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you\u2019re right, of course,\u201d admitted George. \u201cI hadn\u2019t thought of that. The examination is in two weeks and there wouldn\u2019t be time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about sending a wire?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yes,\u201d replied George. \u201cOnly it would cost so much \u2026 by the time I said what I needed to \u2026. plus Paul\u2019s recommendation \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSend it,\u201d interrupted Ben. \u201cI\u2019ll pay.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave you got the money for something like that?\u201d asked George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cIt\u2019s for Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll find the money. I have some put aside for his College expenses, so I\u2019ll just have to stretch it further, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George stood up. \u201cI\u2019ll get back into town now and talk to Paul Martin,\u201d he said. \u201cThen first thing in the morning I\u2019ll send the wire off.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll come into town and meet you at the Telegraph Office,\u201d said Ben, also getting up and shaking the man\u2019s hand. \u201cAnd thank you again George.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo trouble at all,\u201d said George. \u201cI have a vested interest in this young man after all. I want to be able to say that a pupil of mine got into Harvard..\u201d His eyes twinkled as he turned towards the front door. \u201cI\u2019ll say a prayer that this comes off Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo will I,\u201d said Ben. \u201cSeveral, in fact.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d said Adam, looking up at his father. \u201cCan I talk to you please?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d said Ben, putting down the tray again and sitting down. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath before replying. \u201cI want to apologise to you,\u201d he said. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean all those things I said to you about \u2026.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cYou know,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cAnd I understand. You have had a big disappointment and it\u2019s only natural that you would feel the way that you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut its no excuse for acting the way I did towards you,\u201d said Adam. \u201cIt\u2019s not your fault that all this has happened and I\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached out and placed his hand over that of his son\u2019s. \u201cLet\u2019s just forget about it and look to the future now,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019re going to be fine and that\u2019s the most important thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cYeah,\u201d he admitted. \u201cStill \u2026. I\u2019d rather not think about the future if it\u2019s all the same with you.\u201d He turned his head and looked across at the open window where a slight breeze was blowing the curtains. \u201cI don\u2019t feel like a have much of a future at the moment,\u201d he added in a low voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell now that\u2019s just plain ridiculous,\u201d said his father. \u201cI was talking to George Breckenridge before and he mentioned that Harvard take students in the second semester. What\u2019s wrong with applying again at the beginning of next year?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cNothing, I suppose,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell you what,\u201d said Ben, trying to stir up a bit of enthusiasm in his son. \u201cHow about if you write a letter explaining the situation and asking if you can sit for the examination next time instead?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess I could,\u201d said Adam in the same monotone voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben bit his lip, wanting more than anything to tell his son about George\u2019s idea, but knowing that he couldn\u2019t stand the disappointment in the young man\u2019s eyes if it all came to nothing. George had been right when he\u2019d said that it was better not to get the Adam\u2019s hopes up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go and get some paper for you and you can write it now,\u201d said Ben, standing up. \u201cI\u2019m going into town in the morning so I can post it then for you son.\u201d He hated lying to his boy \u2026. knowing that he had no intention of posting the letter until they had confirmation from Boston one way or the other \u2026 but it just couldn\u2019t be helped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He reached down and patted Adam\u2019s head in a way he hadn\u2019t done in many years. \u201cIt\u2019ll all work out fine son,\u201d he said, hoping that his words proved to be true. \u201cYou just wait and see \u2026 everything will turn out just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, don\u2019t bounce against the sofa like that!\u201d Ben reprimanded his youngest son. \u201cAdam needs to keep still.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s OK Pa,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI\u2019m just so pleased to be able to come downstairs and get out of that bed. I don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I do,\u201d said Ben, picking up Joe and depositing him on the edge of the coffee table instead. \u201cNow just sit there instead,\u201d he instructed the little boy. \u201cAnd don\u2019t put your feet up on that coffee table young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued relating his story with even taking a breath \u2026 seemingly oblivious to the fact that he\u2019d even been interrupted. Ben sat back in his chair, put his pipe back into his mouth and listened to his youngest son with a smile. It was so good to see Adam smiling again, even if they both knew that it was a hollow smile that didn\u2019t reach to his eyes. To Hoss and Joe, however, their brother was no different and it was only Ben who felt that the difference in his eldest son was tangible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet that please Hoss,\u201d he said, when there was loud knock at the front door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder who\u2019d be coming out here at this time?\u201d asked Adam, taking a break from listening to Joe\u2019s story and glancing over at the grandfather clock. \u201cIt\u2019s nearly supper time,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss opened the front door. \u201cIt\u2019s Mr Breckenridge!\u201d he shouted across the room to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Hoss,\u201d said Ben, getting up. \u201cThere\u2019s no need to shout.\u201d He walked over to the door. \u201cGeorge,\u201d he said, looking at the man hopefully. \u201cGood to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shook Ben\u2019s hand and winked happily at him, causing Ben\u2019s heart to immediately lift. \u201cI have something important to tell Adam,\u201d the teacher said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about the hour, but I didn\u2019t think that it should wait until the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell if it\u2019s what I think it might be, then I agree with you,\u201d said Ben, drawing him into the room. \u201cEverything went well then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded as Adam gave both men a puzzled look. \u201cYou two sound as if you\u2019ve been involved in a conspiracy,\u201d he said. \u201cExcuse me for not getting up, but I\u2019m not supposed to move around too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George laughed as he sat himself down on the sofa next to Adam. \u201cWell, in a way we have,\u201d he said, smiling up at Ben. \u201cI have some good news for you Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cI sure could use some,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, stop talking now and let the adults speak,\u201d said Ben to the little boy who was still chattering on in spite of the conversation going on over the top of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned. \u201cBut I ain\u2019t finished my story yet,\u201d he protested. \u201cIt\u2019s a real funny one too,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell sit over there and tell it to Hoss,\u201d said his father. \u201cYou can finish telling it to Adam later.\u201d He picked the child up again and sat him closer to Hoss who was kneeling at the other side of the coffee table in front of the fireplace while he braided some pieces of leather together. \u201cYou were saying George?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d continued the teacher. \u201cWell Adam \u2026 it looks as though you\u2019ll be sitting for that entrance examination after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cThat\u2019s impossible now and you know it,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s in one week and Doc Martin hasn\u2019t changed his mind about my travelling. He\u2019s only just allowed me to get out of bed.\u201d He sighed as he added, \u201cI just wish it were true.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut it is true!\u201d said George excitedly. \u201cLook!\u201d He held out a piece of paper to the young man and grinned at him. \u201cI wired Harvard and they\u2019ve agreed to let you sit for the examination here under my supervision.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave him a dazed look as he slowly took the piece of paper and skimmed it. \u201cThey say that they\u2019re posting you the papers immediately,\u201d he said. \u201cBut \u2026. but \u2026 how?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was George\u2019s idea,\u201d said Ben happily. \u201cWe sent a wire a few days ago offering his services as a supervisor. Paul Martin included a statement about your health and \u2026 well, there it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked first at his father and then his teacher, a light appearing in his eyes as the realisation of what they were saying began to dawn on him. \u201cBut \u2026\u201d he said. \u201cA wire \u2026 Pa, that must have cost you a fortune!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shrugged. \u201cThat\u2019s not important,\u201d he said. \u201cThe important thing is that you can sit for the examination now. That is, if you still want to,\u201d he teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam laughed aloud. \u201cIf I still want to!\u201d he said, sitting forward on the sofa. \u201cAre you joking?\u201d He turned to George, reached out and grasped the man\u2019s hand. \u201cHow can I ever thank you?\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust do well in that examination,\u201d said George. \u201cThat\u2019ll be thanks enough. Adam, I\u2019m just so pleased for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared at the piece of paper in his hands as if he couldn\u2019t believe the words that were written on it. \u201cBut even if they post the papers out straight away,\u201d he said. \u201cThey\u2019ll never get here by next week. The examination date is Tuesday.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI already thought of that,\u201d said George. \u201cI made them assurances that you won\u2019t be coming into contact with anyone else in relation to the examination between now and then, so they\u2019re allowing you to take it when it does arrive. By my calculations, that should be in about three weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just can\u2019t believe it!\u201d said Adam, nodding. \u201cThank you! Thank you so much! Both of you,\u201d he said, including his father in his look. \u201cWhen I think of how badly I\u2019ve been behaving I \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI told you before that we\u2019ve had enough about that,\u201d said his father firmly. He put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cNow all you have to do is pass that examination to realise your dream after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, there\u2019s no worry about that,\u201d said Adam. \u201cAll I needed was the chance to show them what I\u2019ve got \u2026. and you\u2019ve both given me that chance again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBe careful son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cPride comes before a fall, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just being honest Pa,\u201d said Adam, a touch defensively. \u201cI know all the work, so I know that I\u2019m going to do well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, he\u2019s right,\u201d said George. \u201cHe has an excellent chance at this.\u201d He looked at Adam admiringly. \u201cHe\u2019s amazing for a young man with very little formal education. You really have a lot to be proud of.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said Ben. He stood up and looked around. \u201cWell, I think this calls for a celebration,\u201d he said. \u201cYou must stay for supper George. I\u2019ll go and tell Hop Sing to set an extra place.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t say no,\u201d said George. \u201cThank you. I\u2019ve heard wonderful things about Hop Sing\u2019s cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d said Ben, slapping the man on the back. \u201cAnd then I\u2019ll break out the brandy. We have some toasting to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we celebrating Pa?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re celebrating your brother going to college,\u201d said his father, proudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked puzzled. \u201cBut I thought he weren\u2019t going no more?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh, but I am,\u201d said Adam happily. \u201cIndeed I am Hoss.\u201d He looked at everyone around the room happily. \u201cAnd I can hardly wait!\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike this Pa?\u201d asked Joe as he threw his line towards the water. Unfortunately it landed well short of the shore and simply dragged along the ground instead. \u201cDarn it!\u201d the little boy said. \u201cIt didn\u2019t make it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome here son,\u201d said Ben, motioning towards his son. \u201cI\u2019ll help you with it.\u201d He pulled Joe towards him, sat him between his legs and began to pull the line back towards them both. \u201cNow you put your hands there and we\u2019ll throw it together,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe did as instructed and grinned as this time the line fell with a plop into the water. \u201cThat\u2019s got it Pa!\u201d he said, leaning back against his father\u2019s chest happily and stretching his legs out on top of Ben\u2019s. \u201cThis is great, ain\u2019t it Pa?\u201d he asked, tilting his head backwards and grinning up at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt sure is son,\u201d replied his father, ruffling Joe\u2019s curly hair with one hand while holding onto his own fishing line with the other. His mind, however, wasn\u2019t on his youngest son at that moment, but on his eldest one instead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One of the reasons he\u2019d brought Hoss and Joe fishing today was to keep them away from the house so that Adam would be assured of the peace and quiet he would need to concentrate on the examination, but the other reason was that he was just too darned fidgety to stay around the house and wait.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam himself had seemed quite calm about the whole process and when George Breckenridge had arrived first thing this morning as arranged with the examination package in hand, he\u2019d seemed almost eager to begin.\u00a0 Ben knew that if it had been him he\u2019d have been scared stiff at attempting something so important and he had admired his son at that moment for his calm and collected approach.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He could just picture the scene in his mind now. Adam, seated at his father\u2019s desk writing while George Breckenridge sat in front of the fireplace. The only sound in the room would be the gentle popping of the fire in the grate and the steady ticking of the grandfather clock near the door marking each minute as Adam steadily wrote his way into his future.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Occasionally there would be a slight thumping sound from the kitchen as Hop Sing kneaded yet another mound of pastry, for Ben knew that the cook was just as anxious as he was about Adam\u2019s examination and Hop Sing\u2019s way of coping with stress was to immerse himself in baking at such times. Ben chuckled slightly, thinking that there would probably be enough pastries, pies and cakes to satisfy even Hoss by the time they made it home later that afternoon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s funny Pa?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cYour stomach feels all funny when you laugh.\u201d Joe wriggled happily from his position in front of his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d said Ben, smiling down at his son. \u201cI\u2019m just happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo am I,\u201d Joe informed him. \u201cI like fishing.\u201d He sat forward. \u201cYou want me to put him on for you Hoss?\u201d he asked his brother who was sitting next to them staring at a worm distastefully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf ya like,\u201d replied Hoss, trying to sound nonchalant about it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched as Little Joe expertly baited his brother\u2019s hook, noting with amusement the look on Hoss\u2019 face. His middle son was so gentle with animals that even inflicting pain onto a worm was a chore for him, although he\u2019d never have admitted it to anyone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere ya go Hoss,\u201d said Joe generously, handing the hook and worm back to his brother. I\u2019ll do another one for ya later cause I\u2019m good at it,\u201d he added, quite immodestly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Hoss. He threw his line into the water where it dangled alongside his father\u2019s and brother\u2019s, grabbed three more cookies from the basket next to him and leant back against the tree behind him while he munched happily. \u201cHey Pa?\u201d he said suddenly. \u201cDo ya reckon that Adam will be finished his examination yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot quite son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cHe would be well into the second part of it by now though.\u201d He sent up another silent prayer, wondering as he did so how many that would have made today. He supposed that the Lord would be sick of them by now, but he couldn\u2019t help it. If he had to storm heaven itself for his son to have success in this thing he wanted so badly, then storm it he would.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave you ever done a esamashion Hoss?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNup,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cI done some tests at school though and I reckon it\u2019s just like a real big test. Is that right Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cIt\u2019s like a real big test.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cWill I have tests when I go to school after the summer Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon so Joe,\u201d replied his brother. \u201cBut not a real big one like an examination.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded again. \u201cI don\u2019t mind,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t want to ever do a esamashion and go away to college like Adam is doing. I\u2019m gonna stay right here on The Ponderosa forever and ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe too,\u201d Hoss declared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad to hear it,\u201d said their father, sincerely. \u201cAlthough if either of you ever change your mind I\u2019m happy to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave his father a sideways glance. \u201cYou don\u2019t want Adam to go away neither, do ya Pa?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared into the blue water in front of them in silence for a moment or two. \u201cNo son, I don\u2019t,\u201d he said. \u201cBut it\u2019s like I told you both before \u2026 if that\u2019s what Adam wants, then we have to be happy for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will,\u201d said Hoss with a sigh. \u201cOnly I won\u2019t really feel it inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Neither will I, thought Ben silently. Neither will I.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d cried out Little Joe suddenly. He sat forward on his father\u2019s lap and looked eagerly into the water in front of them. \u201cThere\u2019s my frog! He\u2019s come back to see me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He leant forward, nearly toppling into the water in his enthusiasm to get to the animal. Ben held onto the back of his shirt as Joe scooped up the large green frog and held it up for his father and brother to see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat ain\u2019t your frog,\u201d snorted Hoss. \u201cThis one\u2019s much bigger than your frog.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at the creature critically. \u201cHe musta grown,\u201d he said. \u201cSee him Pa? Can I \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you even ask young man,\u201d interrupted Ben. \u201cI\u2019ve had just about enough of frogs for now. The answer is no, you can\u2019t take him home again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face fell and he gave his father a pleading look. \u201cBut he came specially to see me,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t your frog,\u201d insisted Hoss. \u201cSo how could he specially come to see you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs too my frog!\u201d declared Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, that frog will be much happier in the river rather than your pocket,\u201d said his father. \u201cNow let him go.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t move, but simply looked at his father, down at the frog and then back at Ben again. \u201cLet him go,\u201d insisted Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s right Joe,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cHe belongs in the river.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOK,\u201d said Joe reluctantly. He stroked the frog lovingly before putting him on the ground. \u201cBye fellar,\u201d he said. \u201cHave fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All three Cartwrights watched as the animal took several small jumps and then one large movement took him back into the water from where he\u2019d come.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s happy down there Joe,\u201d said Hoss, reassuringly. \u201cCritters need to be where they belong.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon,\u201d said Joe, watching the water sadly. \u201cI sure wish people was like frogs but.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean son?\u201d asked Ben, intrigued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell if Adam was like my frog, then he\u2019d stay where he belongs and not go off to that darned old college,\u201d declared the little boy, looking up at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave his son a startled look. \u201cOut of the mouths of babes,\u201d he said in a half whisper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat Pa?\u201d asked Hoss, puzzled at his father\u2019s words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d said Ben. \u201cLook out son, you\u2019ve got a nibble on that line.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He and Joe watched as Hoss slowly drew in a large fish and laid it on the bank beside them. \u201cPut it with the others,\u201d instructed Ben, indicating a bucket beside them. \u201cLooks like we\u2019ll be eating real well tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was late afternoon by the time Ben rode into the front yard, Hoss riding beside him on his trusty pony and Little Joe propped up in front of his father on the saddle. The first thing Ben noted was the array of baked goods cooling on the kitchen windowsill and the thought that he\u2019d been right about Hop Sing amused him for a moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh boy!\u201d shouted Hoss, eagerly getting down from his pony. \u201cHop Sing\u2019s been baking!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere,\u201d said Ben, handing down the bucket of fish to his son. \u201cYou go and give him these Hoss. He\u2019ll be expecting them for supper.\u201d He dismounted and then reached up, pulled Little Joe down from the saddle and set him on his feet. \u201cOff you go too,\u201d he said, giving him a slight swat on the backside. \u201cGo and tell Hop Sing all about our day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He waited until both boys had disappeared into the kitchen before tying up the two animals and turning to face the front door. To his surprise it was wide open and Adam and George were sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee and talking non-stop. \u201cAll done?\u201d he asked, as he walked towards them. \u201cHow did it go?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned shining eyes onto his father. \u201cIt was great Pa,\u201d he said happily. \u201cI think I did really well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben breathed a sigh of relief before sitting down on the edge of the porch and facing them both. \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful son,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was actually easier then I thought it was going to be,\u201d continued Adam. \u201cThere was really nothing that I couldn\u2019t answer at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFrom all Adam\u2019s told me, it does sound like he\u2019s done extremely well,\u201d said George, patting the large, sealed brown envelope on the table between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat question about the philosophers \u2026 I was really glad that you\u2019d given me those books to read on that,\u201d said Adam. \u201cThe algebra questions too … they were \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he continued to talk, Ben leant back onto one of the supports of the porch and revelled in watching his son. He didn\u2019t think that he\u2019d ever seen him so animated and happy as he had at that moment and his heart rejoiced for his boy and nearly burst with pride for him. He listened to the two of them discussing the various questions and Adam\u2019s answers, not really understanding most of it but happy that Adam seemed to be enjoying himself so much.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At that moment, Ben knew in his heart that everything he\u2019d ever hoped for his son was about to be realised. A father couldn\u2019t wish for anything more than that his child feel happy and fulfilled and even though it would wound him deeply when Adam left, he was elated that his son had found the thing that would complete his soul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally, when even Adam seemed to have run out of things to say, George stood up. \u201cWell, I\u2019d better get back to town and find somewhere safe for this until I can mail it first thing in the morning.\u201d He said, picking up the large envelope. He held his hand out to Adam. \u201cCongratulations,\u201d he said. \u201cYou should be well pleased with what you\u2019ve achieved today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam, also standing up. \u201cI\u2019ll always owe you a debt of gratitude for what you\u2019ve done for me today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI second that,\u201d said Ben as he got to his feet. \u201cThank you George.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George nodded. \u201cYou\u2019re most welcome,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve been proud to have been part of all this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow long will all this take now?\u201d asked Ben, as he and Adam stood watching the schoolteacher ride out of the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGeorge said that they send out the acceptance letters in two months,\u201d said Adam. He stretched. \u201cI\u2019m tired!\u201d he said. \u201cPa, I suddenly feel so free, as if a heavy weight has been taken off my shoulders.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou need a good supper and a good night\u2019s rest now,\u201d said his father. \u201cBy the look of that kitchen windowsill we\u2019ll be eating plenty of dessert after our fish tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam chuckled and shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t know how many cups of coffee Hop Sing brought in for us today,\u201d he said. \u201cI thought George was going to be waterlogged!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s his way of showing that he cares,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWe all do, you know son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam acknowledged. \u201cPa, now that it\u2019s all happening at last \u2026well it\u2019s made me feel as if I\u2019m losing something very dear to me. It\u2019s strange, but even though I want to go so badly, sitting there today doing that exam made it feel like I was already saying goodbye to you, Hoss, Joe, Hop Sing \u2026 to all of it.\u201d He looked around wistfully. \u201cI\u2019m going to miss this place,\u201d he said, softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said his father, putting his arm around the young man\u2019s shoulder. \u201cBut just think what you\u2019re going to son.\u201d He smiled at Adam. \u201cUse the next couple of months to just enjoy everything here and then you\u2019ll take all those memories with you when you go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cTomorrow I\u2019ll write to my grandfather and let him know what\u2019s happening,\u201d he said. \u201cHe\u2019ll need to get ready if I\u2019m arriving in a few months. I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got him to stay with while I\u2019m in Boston. It would be so much harder without knowing at least one person in the city.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m grateful to him too,\u201d said Ben. \u201cAnd glad that you\u2019ll have this chance to get to know each other in person. I know that you\u2019ve always corresponded with him, but meeting him face to face will be wonderful for both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The kitchen door opened with a loud bang and Little Joe ran out into the yard, followed at a more leisurely pace by Hoss who was munching on a large piece of cake. \u201cHop Sing\u2019s cooked up a storm Pa,\u201d Hoss said happily. \u201cThere\u2019s lots for everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d said Ben, sweeping Joe up into his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he\u2019s cooking up all our fish fer supper too!\u201d Joe informed his father. \u201cWe\u2019re gonna eat real well tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d said Ben again. He turned to Adam. \u201cYou go and wash up son while I get these two cleaned up.\u201d He sniffed the air and made a face. \u201cYou two smell all fishy,\u201d he said, teasingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo do you Pa!\u201d giggled Little Joe. He turned to Adam. \u201cWe found my frog in the river,\u201d he said. \u201cHe came back to say hello.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid ya finish the examination Adam?\u201d asked Hoss, before his elder brother could reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Adam. \u201cIt\u2019s all done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s good,\u201d he said. \u201cNow maybe you can stop reading all them books.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cI\u2019ll never stop reading books Hoss,\u201d he said, his eye shining with the thought of all the literature he would have at his disposal in a few months. \u201cThere\u2019s always more to be read.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss scratched his head as Adam walked away towards the house. \u201cI reckon I\u2019ll never understand him Pa,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it son,\u201d said his father, swinging Joe around in his arms. \u201cWe all enjoy different things. Now come into the wash house and we\u2019ll all get cleaned up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged. \u201cReckon so,\u201d he said before swallowing the last of his cake and following his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put his fingers over Little Joe\u2019s thigh and squeezed the little boy\u2019s leg, causing Joe to stop wriggling and look up at his father with a puzzled look on his face. Ben shook his head slightly and then pointed to the minister at the front of the church.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a loud sigh and stopped swinging his legs. He looked over at Hoss at the end of the pew and made a face, but when his brother didn\u2019t respond he sighed again. It seemed to him that church had one purpose \u2026 and that was to cause him the most discomfort in the shortest space of time imaginable. He was never so bored except when in church and nothing he did, no amount of wriggling or scratching or swinging of his legs could take away the boredom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked up at Adam, sitting on the other side of him and grinned, but his eldest brother was staring in front of him and didn\u2019t respond so Joe tried his father instead. Ben\u2019s response to his son\u2019s grin was simply to stare at him, so Joe looked around for someone else to make eye contact with.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he discovered that no one was willing to look at him, he sighed again and climbed up onto his father\u2019s lap. If all else failed, then he usually took a nap to make the time to go faster when they came to the Sunday service and it seemed like today would be no exception.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In fact, the small boy was still fast asleep when the small congregation finally sang the last strains of the final hymn and Ben was forced to carry his sleeping son out of the church. He was busy propping him up over one shoulder when a voice made him turn. \u201cBen!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReverend,\u201d he said, holding out his free hand to shake hands with the man. \u201cGood sermon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d said the reverend. \u201cI believe that congratulations are in order for Adam?\u201d He beamed at the young man standing beside his father. \u201cYou must be mighty proud of this young man,\u201d he said to Ben. \u201cSoon to be a college man, I believe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI certainly am proud,\u201d replied Ben, noting how Adam drew himself up to his full height proudly. He looked down at Joe on his shoulder as the little boy began to wriggle slightly and open his eyes. \u201cIs church over yet?\u201d asked Joe sleepily as he put his head up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes son, the service is all finished,\u201d said his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d said Joe with a huge yawn.\u00a0 He gave his father a bleary-eyed look. \u201cIt was right boring,\u201d he added as he began to wriggle in his father\u2019s arms. Ben gave the reverend an apologetic look as Little Joe added, \u201cCan I get down now Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben placed Joe on his feet and took his hand. \u201cLet go Pa,\u201d the boy demanded. \u201cI wanna go esplore!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll stay with me,\u201d said Ben firmly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa!\u201d whined Joe, trying to loosen his father\u2019s hand from around his fingers. \u201cHoss gets to go away from you! I wanna go away and esplore too!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d said his father. \u201cBut don\u2019t go too far.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell done Adam,\u201d said the reverend as Joe scampered off happily. \u201cHave you got the official notification yet son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cBut it should be any time now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone is talking about it,\u201d said the reverend. \u201cIt\u2019s hard to imagine a young man from our fair town going to Harvard! You must be very excited?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am,\u201d admitted Adam, looking as pleased as punch at the man\u2019s words. \u201cIt\u2019s hard not to be, to be honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMade your travelling plans yet?\u201d the reverend asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re waiting until his letter of acceptance comes,\u201d Ben interrupted. \u201cIt\u2019s best to be sure before we make any decisions about all of that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell let me know when you get it,\u201d said the reverend to Adam. \u201cI\u2019ll help spread the word around town. Everyone is so excited for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Adam. \u201cThat was nice of him,\u201d he added to his father as the reverend walked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone is so happy for you son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cRoy Coffee was talking about it the other day when I was in town. Paul Martin too. It seems that it\u2019s the thing on everyone\u2019s mind at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Ben!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both of the Cartwrights turned at the sound of their names. \u201c\u201dMr Bertoli,\u201d said Adam, tipping his hat to the man. \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFine! Fine!\u201d Frederick Bertoli smiled at them both. \u201cBut I\u2019ve been wondering why you haven\u2019t come to visit me yet in my shop?\u201d he asked. \u201cI\u2019ve been waiting to take your measurements.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cI can assure you that we will be coming in to get Adam measured up for a few things when the time is right,\u201d he said. \u201cWe\u2019re just waiting on his acceptance letter first before we finalise things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Frederick nodded and continued to beam at both of them. \u201cWell, don\u2019t you leave it too late,\u201d he said. \u201cI will take extra care with making some suits.\u201d He winked at Adam. \u201cI\u2019ve known your father for many years and he\u2019s been good to me,\u201d he said. \u201cThe least I can do is to make sure that you get the very best! I will make plenty of shirts for you as well and perhaps a vest or two?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps,\u201d said Ben, answering the tailor for his son. \u201cWe\u2019ll come in with a list soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome this week,\u201d said Frederick. \u201cI have some new good serge material that will make up very nicely into trousers for the young man.\u201d He winked at Adam again. \u201cThe ladies will like it,\u201d he said teasingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grinned. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy daughter talks about you all the time,\u201d continued Frederick, reaching out and drawing his pretty young daughter towards his side. \u201cShe has never known a college man before.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jennifer Bertoli smiled shyly at Adam. \u201cI certainly haven\u2019t,\u201d she said. \u201cAll the girls are talking about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam puffed himself up. \u201cAre they?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Do you think\u00a0 \u2026.. I mean \u2026. Would you mind if I write to you while you\u2019re away?\u201d she asked. \u201cThat is \u2026. If you won\u2019t be too busy or anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat should be all right,\u201d said Adam, grinning at the girl. \u201cI suppose I\u2019ll be a bit lonely at first, so a few letters would be nice.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you two go over there and talk about it?\u201d suggested Frederick, pushing the two young people together to one side. He winked at Ben as they wandered off together. \u201cWho knows?\u201d he said. \u201cThey might get close through their letters. I\u2019d like to see my Jennifer settled with a college man.\u201d Ben smiled at him, but said nothing. \u201cThat boy of your has a bright future ahead of him,\u201d continued Frederick. \u201cHe\u2019s one smart young man, that one.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think so too,\u201d said Ben proudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow you remember Ben,\u201d said Frederick. \u201cYou bring him in this week and I\u2019ll start cutting out those trousers. A man can\u2019t have too many pairs of trousers when he goes to live in the city.\u201d He wandered off, leaving an amused Ben standing by himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned at the sound of Hoss\u2019 voice. \u201cWhat is it son?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Joe, Pa,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cHe \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put up his hand. \u201eDon\u2019t tell me,\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019s what I get for taking my eyes off him for a few minutes.\u201d He looked over his shoulder. \u201cCome on Adam!\u201d he called. \u201cTime to go home now son!\u201d He put his hand on Hoss\u2019 shoulder and went off to try and sort out his youngest son\u2019s latest piece of mischief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat on top of a large sack of grain and swung his legs happily as he watched his father and two brothers loading more sacks onto the buckboard. \u201cWe sure got a lot today Pa,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said his father. \u201cWell, the animals will only eat it and then we\u2019ll be back in for more next month,\u201d he said. \u201cJoe, please stop swinging your legs like that,\u201d he added as Joe\u2019s feet gave him a thump in the back. He mopped his face with his bandanna. \u201cSure is getting warm,\u201d he said. \u201cI can feel summer coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd more vacation time,\u201d said Hoss happily. \u201cThat ain\u2019t a bad thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at the boy, but before he could reply someone slapped him on the back. \u201cWell now, how\u2019s my favourite prisoner?\u201d asked Roy Coffee, beaming up at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFine thanks sheriff,\u201d replied Joe. He looked carefully to see if the man had his handcuffs attached to his belt as he sometimes did, but was disappointed not to spy them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy smiled at Ben and slapped him on the back again. \u201cAdam sure looks fine,\u201d he said, indicating the young man dragging a sack towards them. \u201cGood to see him back to his old self.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cIt sure is.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust getting my face seen doing the rounds,\u201d said the sheriff. \u201cWhoa, hang on there young fellar!\u201d He reached up and clung onto Joe as the little boy launched himself down from the sack he\u2019d been sitting on. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna fall if ya ain\u2019t careful,\u201d he added, swinging the youngster around, much to Joe\u2019s delight. \u201cThought you\u2019d like ta know that the mail\u2019s in,\u201d he added to Ben, winking at Adam. \u201cMatt says there\u2019s some mighty interesting mail come for one of you Cartwrights from a place called \u2026 now what was it \u2026.\u201d He scratched his head as if trying to remember. \u201cAh yes \u2026. A place called Harvard College?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam dropped the sack he\u2019d been dragging and stared at first Roy and then his father. \u201cThis is it!\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo,\u201d said Ben, grinning at him. \u201cHoss and I will finish up here. And hurry back with the letter!\u201d he shouted as Adam took off running down the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy chuckled. \u201cHe sure is anxious,\u201d he said. \u201cReal excited.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is what he\u2019s been waiting for now for over two months,\u201d said Ben. \u201cHe\u2019s been on tenterhooks these past few weeks, thinking it would never come.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy nodded thoughtfully as he plonked Joe down onto his feet. \u201cWell, we\u2019re all mighty proud of him Ben,\u201d he said. \u201cThe whole town\u2019s ready to celebrate with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled proudly. \u201cThat\u2019s mighty nice of everyone,\u201d he said. \u201cI was thinking that we\u2019d have all our friends and neighbours over for a big celebration before he goes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd just when will that be?\u201d asked Roy. \u201cWhen will he have to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, not for another six weeks or so,\u201d replied Ben as Roy helped him pick up another sack. \u201cOut of the way Joe \u2026 go over and help Hoss.\u201d He mopped his face again as he scanned the street. \u201cHe\u2019s taking a long time about getting back here,\u201d he said. \u201cI thought he\u2019d be running down the street by now waving that thing over his head.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy leant against the hitching rail. \u201cSeems to me that you\u2019re gonna miss that boy,\u201d he said. \u201cThings around here won\u2019t be the same without him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right there,\u201d said Ben. \u201cAlthough I\u2019m going to get a lot of help from Hoss on the ranch while Adam is away.\u201d He patted Hoss on the back as the youngster hauled a sack onto the buckboard. \u201cHe\u2019s a right good worker,\u201d he added, winking at Roy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can see that,\u201d said Roy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI might just go down and see what\u2019s keeping Adam,\u201d said Ben. \u201cDo you mind watching the boys for me for a few minutes please, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all,\u201d replied the sheriff. \u201cWe\u2019ll have all this loaded by the time you get back. \u201cYou go and congratulate Adam for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWill we have time for me to be a prisoner in the jail Sheriff Coffee?\u201d piped up Little Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see son,\u201d chuckled the sheriff. \u201cWe\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben wandered down towards the mail office, scanning the area for Adam as he did so. \u201cMatt,\u201d he said tipping his hat to the mail clerk as he approached the office. \u201cAdam been here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure has,\u201d replied the man. \u201cGrabbed a letter from me and took off with it.\u201d His eyes twinkled. \u201cIt\u2019s his acceptance from that Harvard College, I reckon. Congratulate him for me, will ya Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI sure will,\u201d said Ben. He turned to walk back up the street, when he spied Adam standing in a small alleyway. \u201cSon?\u201d he said, going up to him. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you bring your letter straight back? I\u2019ve been waiting for \u2026.\u201d He stopped as he saw the look in Adam\u2019s eyes. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam handed the letter to his father without a word. Ben looked at him for a moment and then read it \u2026..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Mr Cartwright,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We regret to inform you that unfortunately \u2026..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up, not needing to read any more. \u201cOh Adam!\u201d he said, sympathetically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked away from his father, not wanting to meet his eyes. \u201cI failed,\u201d he said in a tight voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a step towards his son and reached out for him. \u201cAdam \u2026.\u201d he began.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took a step backwards. \u201cLeave me alone Pa,\u201d he said, in the same tight voice. \u201cI just want to be left alone!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned away from his father and walked quickly down the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d called out Ben, but his son kept on going. \u201cCome back here! We need to talk!\u201d Within minutes Ben realised that he was talking to thin air. He looked down at the letter in his hand, wanting more than anything to scrunch it up and throw it into the gutter, but instead he folded it and placed it into his pocket, before walking down the street in search of his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced for the tenth time in the past hour at the grandfather clock next to the front door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen\u2019s Adam coming home Pa?\u201d asked Little Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSoon,\u201d his father replied absently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow come he didn\u2019t come home for supper?\u201d persisted Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa told you before,\u201d interrupted Hoss. \u201cHe\u2019s had a big disappointment and he\u2019ll come home when he\u2019s ready to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wrinkled up his nose as he thought about it. \u201cAnother big disappointment?\u201d he said. \u201cCan\u2019t he do another esamashion?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cHe failed the one he did is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s fail mean?\u201d asked Joe, climbing up into his father\u2019s lap and snuggling there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means that he won\u2019t be going to college after all,\u201d said Hoss, giving his father a worried look. \u201cAin\u2019t that right Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would seem so son,\u201d sighed his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen that\u2019s a good thing!\u201d declared Joe, fiddling with the buttons on his father\u2019s vest. \u201cI never wanted him to go anyways!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam wanted to go,\u201d Hoss reminded him. \u201cAnd he\u2019s gonna be real upset now, ain\u2019t he Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes son,\u201d replied his father, glancing at the clock yet again. \u201cWe must all try and say good things to him to make him feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of good things?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike reminding him bout all the things he\u2019s good at,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cIs that what you mean Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said his father, sitting forward as he heard a sound in the front yard. He put Joe onto his feet. \u201cHoss, take your brother upstairs and get him ready for bed please. I\u2019ll be up later to check on you both.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s home!\u201d said Joe, also hearing the noise outside. \u201cI wanna stay up and talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo to bed, Joseph,\u201d said his father sternly. \u201cHoss, take your brother please.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited until Hoss had dragged the reluctant Joe to the first landing of the staircase before walking to the front door and opening it. \u201cAdam?\u201d he said, peering into the darkness beyond the front porch. \u201cIs that you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s me Ben,\u201d said Roy Coffee. \u201cI found him like I said I would.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben breathed a sigh of relief. After two hours of searching for his son in town that morning he\u2019d given up all hopes of finding him in there and had eventually been persuaded by Roy to bring the boys home instead of continuing to search. Roy had promised to keep looking for him and Ben might have known that the sheriff would have been true to his word. He stepped out into the darkness of the porch. \u201cAdam?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy stepped forward into the light that pooled out from the house, Adam\u2019s arm around his shoulder as he supported the limp body of Ben\u2019s eldest son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d cried Ben, his heart lurching suddenly. \u201cWhat happened Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy chuckled. \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine Ben,\u201d he said as Ben took hold of the young man\u2019s other arm. \u201cHe\u2019s just a might under the weather, so to speak.\u201d The two men walked Adam into the house, supporting him between them. \u201cI found him holed up in the back of the Silver Dollar with the Bonner boys,\u201d Roy explained as they eased him down onto the sofa. \u201cFrom the look of him he\u2019d been there most of the afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared down at his son on the sofa, his heart a mixture of anger and pity at the drunken state he was in. \u201cThanks Roy,\u201d he said. \u201cI suppose I should have expected something like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy gave Ben a sympathetic look. \u201cI\u2019m right sorry about all this Ben,\u201d he said. \u201cCan you manage him now? I\u2019d best get back to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd thanks again Roy. I appreciate you bringing him home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy shrugged. \u201cWell, I said I\u2019d find him fer ya Ben. And in the state he was in, it was either bring him home or put him in one of the jail cells to sleep it off.\u201d He made a face. \u201cGood luck with him. I reckon you\u2019re gonna need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded as he showed the sheriff to the door. He sighed as he closed it after the man and then walked back to the sofa again where Adam was quietly murmuring in his sleep. \u201cCome on son,\u201d he said, bending down and half-picking up the young man. \u201cYou and I are going to have a lot to talk about tomorrow, so we\u2019re both going to need some sleep first.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He turned towards the staircase and then remembered that Hoss and Joe were still awake upstairs, so he walked Adam over to the guestroom instead, laying him on the bed there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he began to take off Adam\u2019s boots, the young man tossed his head around and opened up his eyes, staring at his father in a bleary fashion. \u201cHi Pa,\u201d he said. Ben ignored the remark as he took off the second boot. Adam tried to sit up, but couldn\u2019t quite manage it, falling back onto the bed and giggling as his head hit the pillow. \u201cHi Pa,\u201d he said again, giggling as he stared up at the ceiling. \u201cI \u2026 had a \u2026 couple of \u2026. drinks,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo I see,\u201d said Ben dryly as he began to take off Adam\u2019s coat. \u201cHere, put your arm through there son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam hiccupped a couple of times as he stared up at his father. \u201cA couple \u2026 of drinks,\u201d he said again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben said nothing, but simply pulled the blankets up over his son and turned down the lamp. \u201cGo to sleep Adam,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam obediently shut his eyes, murmuring softly to himself. Ben was unable to catch the words, so he merely shook his head and left the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up at the first landing. \u201cI thought I told you to go to bed,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss made a face. \u201cIs Adam home safe?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked over his shoulder to the guest room. \u201cYes son,\u201d he replied. \u201cHe\u2019s home safe. Now go to bed Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned down the lamp in the living room with a heavy heart. As he climbed the staircase he wondered just how he was going to deal with Adam in the morning and prayed for the right words to help his son make sense of all of this.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s about time you surfaced,\u201d said Ben, dryly as he saw Adam emerge from the guest room, carrying his boots in one hand. \u201cI thought you were going to sleep the whole day away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced at his father who was seated at his desk in the study and then looked at the clock. He shrugged before turning towards the staircase.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust a minute young man,\u201d said Ben. \u201cI want to have a few words with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stopped. \u201cCan\u2019t it wait until later Pa?\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve got an awful headache.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think it can,\u201d said his father. \u201cCome and sit over here please.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed, but did as his father bid him. He sat gingerly on the edge of the wooden chair beside his father\u2019s desk, his face cradled in his hands. \u201cWhat?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I know you\u2019re very disappointed about the letter you received yesterday, \u201c began Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean the rejection,\u201d corrected Adam. \u201cWe may as well call it the right thing. I failed \u2026 I was rejected \u2026. Simple as that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes narrowed as he looked at his son. Adam\u2019s eyes were still bleary, his hair looked unkempt and his shirt was hanging out of his trousers. He looked totally dejected and Ben\u2019s heart went out to him.\u00a0 \u201cCall it what you will,\u201d he said. \u201cI know that you\u2019re disappointed \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t know!\u201d exploded Adam, in spite of himself. \u201cYou have no idea!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes flashed in spite of his resolve to keep his temper with the boy. \u201cYou just speak to me with a civil tongue in your head,\u201d he reprimanded his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat back in the chair and closed his mouth, staring at the wall behind his father as Ben continued. \u201cI\u2019ve had many disappointments in my life too Adam,\u201d he said in a gentler tone. \u201cI do know what it\u2019s like to not be able to do something that you\u2019ve set your heart on. The thing is son, you\u2019ve got to accept this and move on with your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have no life,\u201d said Adam in a low tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s nonsense and you know it,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cWhy, you\u2019re a young man with a lot going for you. I just hope that last night wasn\u2019t an indication of things to come,\u201d he said, fixing his son with a steely gaze for a moment. \u201cYou\u2019re worth more than the way you treated yourself Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t intend to go drinking in the saloon every day if that\u2019s what you\u2019re afraid of,\u201d retorted Adam. \u201cI\u2019ve got more sense than that.\u201d He rubbed his temples ruefully, wishing that the pounding in his head would stop.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI would hope so,\u201d said Ben. \u201cI thought you understood by now that the Bonner boys aren\u2019t exactly the best companions.\u201d Adam shrugged. \u201cAnd I don\u2019t want a son of mine frequenting saloons more than occasionally,\u201d continued Ben. \u201cNo matter what the reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo matter what the reason?\u201d Adam sat up straight again in his chair. \u201cYou don\u2019t think I had a good excuse?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not saying that \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think that having my life ruined is a pretty good excuse to have a drink,\u201d continued Adam, his temper beginning to rise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour life is not ruined,\u201d said Ben mildly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it?\u201d Adam snapped back at him. \u201cI beg to differ! I\u2019d call failing at the only thing I\u2019ve ever wanted to do having my life ruined!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you know that you weren\u2019t your best when you did the examination,\u201d began Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his hand and put up his hand to silence his father. \u201cPa, please don\u2019t,\u201d he said. \u201cI was well enough and besides I thought I\u2019d done well, I told you that. The plain truth is that my best just wasn\u2019t good enough,\u201d he said bitterly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen you need to try again,\u201d insisted Ben. \u201cRemember that George Breckenridge said that there\u2019s another examination before next semester and you could \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d said Adam, springing out of his chair. \u201cI failed and that\u2019s an end to it!\u201d He began to pace up and down in front of his father\u2019s desk, rubbing his temples as he did so. \u201cHarvard don\u2019t think I\u2019m good enough \u2026 so that\u2019s that!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen try for another college,\u201d insisted his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Adam turned to face the man. \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to another college. I wanted to go to Harvard and now I can\u2019t, so I\u2019m just going to forget all about it. I\u2019ll just stay here on The Ponderosa and work.\u201d He gave his father a defiant look. \u201cThat should make you happy,\u201d he said bitterly. \u201cAfter all, it\u2019s what you\u2019ve always really wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood up and faced his son. \u201cAdam,\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019s not completely true and you know it. All I\u2019ve ever wanted was for you to be happy son and if that means you going away to college, then \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I\u2019m not going,\u201d said Adam, turning away from his father. \u201cSo that\u2019s an end to it, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not happy like this Adam,\u201d said Ben, walking around his desk and standing next to the young man. \u201cI want to see you happy again. I think you should try again for next semester and \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben drew a deep breath. \u201cWhat about George Breckenridge?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, don\u2019t you think he deserves to hear about this from you?\u201d queried Ben. \u201cHe put a lot effort into helping you these few years and I think you owe it to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWasted effort,\u201d replied Adam bitterly. He shrugged. \u201cI suppose so,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI don\u2019t want to go into town though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you have to face everyone sooner or later with this,\u201d said his father sympathetically. \u201cMaybe you\u2019d best get it over with?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cI\u2019ll go in after dark,\u201d he said, walking away from his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waved his hand at his father in a gesture of dismissal as he reached the bottom of the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George smiled as he opened the front door and saw Adam standing on his porch. \u201cAdam!\u201d he said, taking the young man\u2019s hand. \u201cI\u2019m so glad you\u2019ve come!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou are?\u201d said Adam, somewhat startled as the teacher drew him into his front room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said George, his excitement evident in his eyes. \u201cPlease sit down. I\u2019ve got some wonderful news!\u201d Adam sat down on the edge of a large comfortable chair, wondering what on earth could have excited the man so much. \u201cI received a letter today,\u201d said George.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo did I,\u201d said Adam in a low tone, but George didn\u2019t acknowledge having heard him. Instead, he picked up a piece of paper from the table beside him and began to read.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDear Mr Breckenridge,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We are pleased to offer you the position of deputy principal at \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked up and grinned at Adam. \u201cWell, it goes on a bit,\u201d he said. \u201cThe upshot of it all is that I\u2019ve been offered a position in a very reputable school in Chicago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared at the man. \u201cChicago?\u201d he said. \u201cI had no idea you wanted to leave Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shrugged. \u201cI\u2019ve been here long enough,\u201d he said. \u201cI wanted to try a position in a country school and I have. It\u2019s time for me now to return to a position in the city.\u201d He looked at the letter happily. \u201cChicago!\u201d he said. \u201cMy sister lives there so it will be good to be near her again.\u201d He looked up at Adam again. \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll be able to travel East with you in a few weeks when you go to Boston?\u201d he said. \u201cThat will make the trip easier for both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m very happy for you,\u201d said Adam, swallowing his own disappointment. \u201cCongratulations.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George gave him a strange look. \u201cYou don\u2019t look very happy for me,\u201d he said. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam handed the teacher his rejection letter. \u201cIt looks as though you\u2019ll be travelling alone,\u201d he said. \u201cI failed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George\u2019s jaw dropped open as he took the letter and read it. There was silence in the room for a couple of minutes while he digested the news and finally he broke it. \u201cOh Adam. I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, but said nothing. George looked at the letter again and shook his head. \u201cYou came so close,\u201d he said, skimming it quickly. \u201cYou were only five marks below their acceptance level.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter how close I came,\u201d said Adam bitterly. \u201cI failed and that\u2019s all there is to it.\u201d He stood up and walked up and down the room, his arms folded over his chest. \u201cThe thing is that I feel so stupid!\u201d he berated himself. \u201cAfter telling every one that I was definitely going to get in and all, and now this!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George frowned. \u201cOf course I can understand you feeling the way you do,\u201d he said. \u201cBut you\u2019ve got nothing to be ashamed of Adam. You\u2019re only five marks short. Do you know what that means?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned to him. \u201cIt means I failed,\u201d he said. \u201cIt means that I\u2019m not good enough to go to Harvard. What else could it mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George stood up and shook his head. \u201cSometimes you\u2019re a very stubborn young man,\u201d he said. \u201cNow you listen to me. Once your initial disappointment about all of this is over and you\u2019re ready to try again \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not trying again,\u201d said Adam quickly. \u201cThis is an end to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George stared at him. \u201cWhat do you mean you\u2019re not trying again?\u201d he said. \u201cOf course you\u2019ll try again!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam firmly. \u201cI won\u2019t. I\u2019m not going to go through another rejection. It hurts too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut just look at your results!\u201d said George. \u201cYou were five marks short! Five marks! That\u2019s nothing in the big scheme of things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s enough to keep me out of college,\u201d said Adam. \u201cIt\u2019s enough that I failed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWould you please stop using that word fail?\u201d asked George. \u201cYou didn\u2019t fail Adam, you simply didn\u2019t get enough marks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam snorted. \u201cThat\u2019s a very fine distinction,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThink about this,\u201d continued George. \u201cYou thought you did very well on that examination \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cJust goes to show how stupid I am,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George raised an eyebrow at the remark. \u201cAnd you\u2019re calling me stupid too?\u201d he asked, sarcastically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shot him a horrified look. \u201cNo, of course not!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, remember that I thought you\u2019d done well too, judging by the answers you told me that you\u2019d written,\u201d said George. \u201cLook at this acceptance mark Adam. I\u2019ve never seen one so high in all the years I\u2019ve been involved in teaching. Now that tells me something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat they had an extraordinary number of applicants who gained high results,\u201d said George. \u201cYou were just unlucky that you sat for the examination on such a year when the standard was so high, that\u2019s all. At any other time you would have got in without a problem.\u201d He looked at Adam admiringly. \u201cYou really are an extraordinary young man to have achieved such a mark under the circumstances. Why \u2026 do you know that there would be plenty of young men who had many more advantages than you\u2019ve had who still wouldn\u2019t have got such as high a mark as you? I call that extraordinary.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cMaybe,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo maybe about it,\u201d said George. \u201cNow I don\u2019t want to hear any more talk about failing. You\u2019ll sit for that examination again, next time you\u2019ll get in and that\u2019s all there is about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t think I have the heart to do it again,\u201d he admitted. \u201cBesides, you\u2019ve just told me that you\u2019re going to Chicago and I won\u2019t have your support next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George put his hand on the young man\u2019s shoulder. \u201cAdam, you don\u2019t need my support any more,\u201d he said. \u201cDon\u2019t you understand son? You\u2019ve grown beyond my tutelage now. You\u2019re more than capable of doing this on your own next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took the letter back from George\u2019s hands. \u201cExcept that there won\u2019t be a next time,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s bad enough that I have to face people once with this, I\u2019m not prepared to go through all of this again.\u201d He put his hat on and turned towards the door. \u201cCongratulations on the job. I\u2019m pleased for you \u2026 I really am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGoodnight,\u201d said Adam. \u201cAnd thanks for everything you\u2019ve tried to do for me. I\u2019m sorry that I\u2019ve let you down.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George shook his head as Adam closed the door behind him. \u201cTalk about stubborn!\u201d he said out loud to no one in particular.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned to see Ross Marquette standing behind him. \u201cRoss,\u201d he said, holding out his hand. \u201cI haven\u2019t seen you for a few weeks. How\u2019s your Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFine thanks,\u201d said Ross, looking over Ben\u2019s shoulder. \u201cIs Adam in town with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cHe\u2019s working out at the ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ross nodded. \u201cOh,\u201d he said. \u201cHe seems to have an awful lot of work lately. I haven\u2019t seen him in town for a couple of weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shrugged. \u201cNo more than usual,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll tell him that I saw you Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease tell him that a few of the fellars are getting together for some drinks tonight in the Silver Dollar,\u201d said Ross. \u201cIt being Friday night and all, we were hoping that Adam might be joining us.\u201d He looked at Ben hopefully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell him,\u201d Ben assured the young man. \u201cIt\u2019d do him good to have a few drinks with some friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed to himself as he walked away from Ross, thinking how ironic it was that he would have said such a thing. After Adam\u2019s drunken performance a couple of weeks ago he never would have wished another drink on his son, but at this point Ben would have given anything to see his son enjoy himself a little again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

These past two weeks had been very difficult, with Adam immersing himself in his work and refusing to even talk to his father about the issue of college. It was as if he was punishing himself for his perceived failure and Ben just didn\u2019t know what to do with him anymore. He\u2019d talked and talked to him until he was all out of things to say to his son and still Adam refused to budge on the issue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was with a heavy heart that Ben pushed open the door to doctor Paul Martin\u2019s office. \u201cBen!\u201d The doctor looked up from his desk with a smile. \u201cGood to see you. No one at The Ponderosa needing my services, I hope?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOnly me,\u201d said Ben, sitting down at the doctor\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFunny,\u201d replied Paul. \u201cYou don\u2019t look sick. What\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sick at heart if the truth be known,\u201d said Ben sith a sigh. \u201cI\u2019ve come to you as a friend to ask for advice Paul. I was hoping that with your medical background you might have a bit of an insight into Adam\u2019s mind at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDepression?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held up his hands. \u201cI suppose you could call it that,\u201d he said. \u201cI tend to call it pig-headedness myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul smiled. \u201cBen, it\u2019s only natural that he\u2019d be difficult to live with at the moment,\u201d he said. \u201cTell me what\u2019s been happening.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s impossible!\u201d said Ben, wringing his hands. \u201cHe refuses to talk to me about anything of any importance, let alone anything to do with the college incident. He does nothing but work \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s a bad thing?\u201d asked Paul, with a slight twinkle in his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot by itself, no,\u201d admitted Ben. \u201cBut it\u2019s the way he\u2019s doing it Paul. He works as if there\u2019s no tomorrow \u2026 as if he\u2019s trying to get out all his anger on the task at hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe probably is,\u201d said the doctor. \u201cAnd probably a good idea too. Better for him to be taking out his feelings on a cow or a pile of kindling wood than people, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s just it,\u201d insisted Ben. \u201cHe\u2019s doing that too. I\u2019ve never seen him like this Paul. He has no patience with Joe and Hoss is avoiding him like the plague. I feel as if I\u2019m walking on eggshells around him all the time, never knowing when he\u2019s going to snap at me.\u201d He put his face in his hands. \u201cI just don\u2019t know how to help him anymore,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you can\u2019t?\u201d observed Paul. \u201cMaybe he just has to help himself Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t think he wants to anymore. With each day that passes I can see him sinking further down into this hole of apathy he\u2019s dug for himself. He\u2019s set his mind to not trying now.\u201d He looked up at the doctor. \u201cYou have to understand Paul, Adam has always been used to doing well at anything he tries. This is the first serious blow he\u2019s had to his confidence and he doesn\u2019t know how to manage it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell then, he has to learn,\u201d said Paul firmly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve told him that,\u201d said Ben. \u201cHe\u2019s just not used to settling for second best and he feels as if he needs to prove to the world that he has to achieve.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s embarrassed and disappointed in himself, and feels as if he\u2019s let everyone down,\u201d said Paul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll of that,\u201d said Ben. \u201cPaul, do you have any ideas? What can I do to help him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul thought for a moment. \u201cWhat have you done so far?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shrugged. \u201cI\u2019ve talked to him until I\u2019m blue in the face,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve told him that it doesn\u2019t matter, that I\u2019m still proud of him, that he can try again. About all my disappointments in life and how I had to pick myself up. I\u2019ve told him how I understand \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you shouldn\u2019t be so understanding then?\u201d mused Paul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Ben, startled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt sounds to me as if Adam is wallowing in his own self-pity,\u201d observed the doctor. \u201cThe longer you tell him that everything is going to be all right, the longer he just might continue to enjoy being a martyr.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think he\u2019s enjoying this!\u201d protested Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, maybe enjoy is too strong a word,\u201d said Paul. \u201cBut I do think that it\u2019s time he stopped indulging in all this self-pity, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes we have to be cruel to be kind,\u201d said Paul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I see what you mean,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWell it\u2019s worth a try. Nothing else has worked so far.\u201d He stood up. \u201cThank you Paul,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll try it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rode into the front yard, noting straight away the large pile of kindling wood next to Adam that his son had obviously chopped since breakfast that morning. \u201cAre you still at that?\u201d he asked as he dismounted from his horse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe can never have enough kindling,\u201d said Adam shortly. \u201cYou know that Hop Sing\u2019s always looking for more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m helping Pa!\u201d shouted Little Joe, picking up a handful of woodchips and placing them on the small pile he\u2019d already gathered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood boy,\u201d said Ben, absently, patting him on his curly hair. \u201cI saw Ross Marquette in town,\u201d he said, turning once more to Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d said Adam, without much interest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe said to tell you that a group of your friends are getting together for a few drinks at The Silver Dollar tonight,\u201d added Ben. \u201cHe asked me let you know that they\u2019re looking forward to you joining them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged as he picked up another piece of wood. \u201cI\u2019m not interested,\u201d he said in a dull voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt might do you good,\u201d prompted his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave the man a strange look. \u201cI thought you wanted me to stay away from saloons for a while after what happened the other week,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now it was Ben\u2019s turn to shrug. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with a man having a drink or two at the end of a hard week\u2019s work,\u201d he said. \u201cAs long as you don\u2019t overdo it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t feel like it,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you haven\u2019t been into town for weeks. You can\u2019t hide out here away from everyone for the rest of your life on The Ponderosa, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hiding!\u201d snapped Adam. \u201cI just don\u2019t feel like going into town tonight, that\u2019s all. Joe, move!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head and sighed as he turned to lead his horse into the barn. As he unsaddled the animal, he thought about his conversation with Paul Martin earlier that morning and wondered if indeed he \u2026.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Little Joe ran full-tilt into the barn, grabbed his father around the legs and buried his face against the man\u2019s thighs as he sobbed. \u201cPa!\u201d he cried again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben bent down to pick up the little boy. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter Little Joe?\u201d he asked, full of concern for the child who only moments ago had been happily playing next to his brother outside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI fell!\u201d sobbed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben inspected the small scraped knee. \u201cWhy all this fuss?\u201d he asked soothingly. \u201cIt\u2019s only a scratch. What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI fell on the woodpile,\u201d sobbed Joe, inspecting his knee himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, there\u2019s no need to carry on so,\u201d replied his father, using his thumb to wipe the boy\u2019s tears off his cheeks. \u201cYou\u2019ll be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t crying cause of my knee,\u201d sobbed Joe. \u201cI\u2019m crying cause Adam\u2019s being mean to my beetle.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat beetle?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis one,\u201d replied Joe, opening his dirty hand to reveal a large black beetle on his palm. \u201cAdam said he was a dumb beetle and he flicked him with his finger onto the woodpile and hurted him. I scraped my knee getting him back off the woodpile,\u201d he added sadly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave the boy a hug. \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine,\u201d he said. \u201cBeetles are tough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hiccupped as he looked at his father. \u201cWhy\u2019s Adam being mean all the time Pa?\u201d he asked. \u201cIf Hoss were home from school he wouldn\u2019t have flicked my beetle!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he wouldn\u2019t,\u201d agreed Ben. \u201cBut it\u2019s like I told you before Little Joe. Adam is angry because of his big disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut why\u2019s he angry with me?\u201d persisted Joe. \u201cI didn\u2019t make him fail that esamashion!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo son, you sure didn\u2019t,\u201d said Ben. He set the little boy down on the ground and gave him a small swat on the backside. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go into the kitchen and ask Hop Sing to wash that knee for you?\u201d he suggested. \u201cI think he might have a spare couple of cookies in there as well if you ask him nicely.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOK,\u201d said Joe, his hurt feelings forgotten at the thought of the cookies. He ran from the barn, his hurt knee obviously not slowing him down in any way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put down the brush in his hand, set his jaw firmly and walked out of the barn. \u201cAdam, I want a word with you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put down his axe. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean for Joe to get hurt,\u201d he said, a touch defensively. \u201cI tried to check his knee, but he wouldn\u2019t let me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you\u2019ve hurt his feelings,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou\u2019ve been so snappy with him lately that he doesn\u2019t know what to make of you. Adam, I\u2019ve had just about enough of this. Not only are you snappy with Joe, but Hoss has taken to avoiding you as well because he never knows that kind of mood you\u2019re going to be in and I just don\u2019t what to say to you any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen don\u2019t say anything,\u201d said Adam, turning away from his father. \u201cI\u2019ve heard it all Pa and it doesn\u2019t make any difference to how I feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you turn your back on me!\u201d said Ben, anger glinting in his eyes. \u201cYou look at me when I\u2019m talking to you boy!\u201d Adam turned back to face his father, startled at his words. \u201cI\u2019m sick and tired of you talking about yourself all the time,\u201d snapped Ben. \u201cWhat about the rest of us?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d said Adam, at a loss for anything else to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour brothers and I,\u201d continued Ben. \u201cThis family is all paying the price for you not passing that examination and we sure don\u2019t deserve to!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d said Adam stiffly. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to upset any of you. I\u2019ll go and apologise to Joe.\u201d He put down his axe and made to walk away, but Ben grabbed him by the arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, while you\u2019re at it you\u2019d better apologise to Hoss as well,\u201d he said. \u201cYour brothers have done nothing but try to help you Adam, as have I, and all we get for it is your bad temper.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said I was sorry,\u201d said Adam. \u201cWhat more can I do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can start facing this,\u201d said his father. \u201cSon, you\u2019ve always insisted I treat you like a man, and these past few years I\u2019ve tried to do just that, but at the moment you\u2019re sure not acting like one.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cAll I\u2019m seeing right now is a boy \u2026 a boy who can\u2019t handle disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put up his hand to silence his son. \u201cI haven\u2019t finished!\u201d he snapped. \u201cIf you\u2019re really serious about Harvard then you wouldn\u2019t be giving up so easily,\u201d he said. \u201cAs far as I\u2019m concerned, now is the time to prove that you mean what you say. I expect more from one of my sons \u2026 now stand up and face it like a man!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He turned and stalked away, leaving his open-mouthed son behind him. As the front door banged shut behind his father, Adam sat down on the woodpile and stared into space. Never in all his life had he heard his father speak to him that way. Sure there had been times when the man had been angry with him, but always with very good reason, and the anger hadn\u2019t been like the blazing fire he\u2019d seen within those dark eyes a moment ago.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was almost as if his father had been very letdown by his attitude and the thought of it made Adam cringe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The kitchen door opened and Joe walked out, munching on a cookie. \u201cHi Adam!\u201d he said, their recent tussle seemingly forgotten. Before Adam could react, however, Joe\u2019s attention was diverted by the sight of Hoss riding into the front yard and he ran towards his brother\u2019s horse, jumping up and down in his excitement as Hoss dismounted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Hoss!\u201d the little boy shouted as he held up his hand. \u201cLook what I got! He\u2019s a real big beetle, ain\u2019t he?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked. \u201cSure is Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cHe\u2019s a right good one.\u201d He looked over at Adam and waved tentatively, his face splitting into a wide grin as his brother for once returned the gesture.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShow me your beetle again Joe,\u201d suggested Adam as his two brothers walked slowly towards him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at him suspiciously. \u201cYou ain\u2019t gonna flick him again, are ya?\u201d he asked, closing his hand protectively shut over the insect.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not,\u201d Adam assured him. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about that before. I shouldn\u2019t have flicked your beetle.\u201d He inspected the insect as Joe held his hand up towards his brother\u2019s face. \u201cHe\u2019s a good one,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe beamed at both his brothers. \u201cI know,\u201d he said, happily. He looked at Adam, wanting to return the compliment. \u201cHey Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou did a real good fail on that esamashion,\u201d Joe said generously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam made a face. \u201cThanks a lot,\u201d he said ruefully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d said Hoss, punching his little brother on the arm. \u201cYou ain\u2019t sposed to say that! Pa said we\u2019re sposed to tell him good things about himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I did!\u201d answered Joe, defensively. \u201cI said he failed real good! Didn\u2019t ya hear me properly?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cHe don\u2019t understand,\u201d he said to Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s OK buddy,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI know.\u201d They both watched while Joe wandered off, talking to his beetle and stroking it softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow was school?\u201d asked Adam, trying to be pleasant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave him a strange look, for his brother hadn\u2019t seemed interested in anything about him for the past few weeks. He shrugged. \u201cBad,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged again. \u201cAlgebra,\u201d he said. \u201cI just don\u2019t seem to be able to get them letters and numbers right, so I hadta stay in a lunch and get extra help from Mr Breckridge.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI could help you with them if you like,\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave his brother another strange look and hesitated before shaking his head. \u201cNo thanks,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t care to learn em.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked shocked. \u201cBut you have to learn it!\u201d he said. \u201cHow will you ever do math properly if you don\u2019t understand algebra?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201eI don\u2019t wanna learn math,\u201d countered Hoss. \u201cIt ain\u2019t much good to me nohow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you can\u2019t give up on it Hoss,\u201d persisted Adam. \u201cYou can do it if you really try.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged for the third time. \u201cYou gave up on college,\u201d he said simply. \u201cDon\u2019t see why I should try with a dumb old thing like algebra.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s different,\u201d said Adam stiffly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see how,\u201d said Hoss. He glared at his older brother. \u201cI used to think that you could do anything Adam,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m sorry I let you down,\u201d said Adam. \u201cIt seems like I\u2019m letting a lot of people down lately. If I\u2019d only passed that examination \u2026. \u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care about any of that!\u201d snapped Hoss. \u201cIt ain\u2019t the passing that important. It\u2019s like Pa always says \u2026. it\u2019s the trying that counts.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat and stared at his brother, finding it difficult to say anything in reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss picked up his pony\u2019s reins and turned away from his older brother. \u201cI don\u2019t reckon you can lecture me about trying iffen you don\u2019t bother,\u201d he said. \u201cSeems to me that it\u2019s just easier giving up than going to all that effort.\u201d He walked away into the barn without glancing back at Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared after his brother, his mind whirling with his thoughts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up from his paperwork. \u201cYes?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam cleared his throat before sitting down on the chair next to his father\u2019s desk. \u201cI was wondering if you\u2019ve got a few minutes,\u201d he said. \u201cThere\u2019s something I\u2019d like to talk to you about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyebrow shot up, but his expression didn\u2019t change. \u201cYes,\u201d he said, laying down his pen. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam cleared his throat. \u201cWell, firstly I\u2019d like to apologise to you for my behaviour in these past few weeks,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry that I made life difficult for you \u2026 and Hoss and Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cApology accepted,\u201d said Ben, his face still bland.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd there\u2019s something else,\u201d continued Adam. \u201cSomething that I think will please you.\u201d He gave his father an intense look. \u201cI\u2019m going to try the entrance examination for Harvard again in the Fall,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat forward in his chair and smiled at his son, a smile that sent waves of affection right across his face. \u201cAdam, I\u2019m so thrilled to hear you say that son,\u201d he said. \u201cWhat made you change your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged as he returned his father\u2019s smile. \u201cOh, a few things,\u201d he said. \u201cI guess all the things that you and George have been saying to me in these past few weeks finally sank into my thick head. But mainly it was Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Ben looked startled. \u201cHoss?\u201d he said again. \u201cExcuse me for questioning you son, but your brother Hoss hasn\u2019t exactly had education as one of his top priorities in life before. What on earth did he do to convince you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat back in his chair. \u201cWell, it wasn\u2019t so much what he said,\u201d he mused. \u201cAlthough he did have a few choice words to say to me about giving up on things.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cIt was more the way he looked at me Pa.\u201d He hesitated. \u201cYou know how close we\u2019ve always been \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. Since Hoss\u2019 mother Inger had died when he was just a few months old, his older brother had taken the boy under his wing and cared for him with a tenderness that had thrilled his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for the first time ever he looked at me as if he was disappointed in me,\u201d went on Adam. \u201cHe\u2019s always looked up to me before Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe admires you son,\u201d said his father. \u201cHoss has always wanted to be like his big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Well, when he told me that he didn\u2019t think that he should try for anything because I didn\u2019t seem to want to anymore, well \u2026. the look in his eyes made me feel as if I\u2019d really let him down.\u201d He glanced at his father. \u201cNow I know how you feel,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell you\u2019re always telling us to try our best and you\u2019ve always shown us how to behave by example with the things you do,\u201d explained Adam. \u201cWhen Hoss looked at me that way I felt as if I had no right to let him down. That everything I did reflected on him and his attitude \u2026 and Joe\u2019s too, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI see,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like I\u2019ve got a responsibility to show them a good example by trying again,\u201d said Adam. He shrugged. \u201cStupid in a way, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cNo Adam, it\u2019s not stupid at all,\u201d he replied. \u201cI think you\u2019ve just figured out a very important thing about life son. You see, none of us ever lives in isolation from those around us. No matter how much we\u2019d like to live our own lives, our actions always influence others and it\u2019s up to us whether or not that influence is a good one or not.\u201d He reached out and put his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m glad that you have a sense of responsibility towards your brothers,\u201d he said. \u201cBut the most important thing is that you want to do this for yourself Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI do,\u201d he said. \u201cI really do Pa. I\u2019m determined that I\u2019m not going to let this beat me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and his smile grew broader. \u201cNow that\u2019s the Adam I know,\u201d he said. \u201cWelcome back! I have a feeling that you\u2019re going to find this dream of yours. Your future is in your hands now son \u2026 go out and find it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Father and son smiled at each other in contented silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, please move,\u201d said Ben, trying not to get cross with the boy. \u201cYou\u2019re in the way again son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe scampered out of his father\u2019s way as Ben hauled another sack of grain onto the buckboard. It was at times like this that he really missed Adam, for if his eldest son had been here they would have well and truly finished loading all this by now. Ben sat down on the edge of the buckboard and glanced over at Hoss who was busy dragging a sack towards him, his middle son as always trying desperately to fill the gap that his brother\u2019s leaving had created.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou take a break Pa,\u201d said the boy, grinning at his father as he heaved the sack. \u201cI\u2019ll get this finished for ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled proudly at his boy and opened his mouth to reply, but instead gave a loud yell. \u201cJoseph!\u201d he said. \u201cI really need that foot! Can you get off it please?\u201d He bent down and rubbed his ankle where his youngest son had inadvertently kicked him in his excitement at trying to also help. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go down to the mail office and pick up the mail for me?\u201d Ben suggested, indicating the mail office as couple of doors away. \u201cCan you do that son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa!\u201d shouted Joe and scampered off happily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe don\u2019t mean to get in the way,\u201d Hoss explained to his father as he reached the buckboard with the sack. \u201cHe\u2019s only a little kid and thinks he\u2019s helping.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smothered a grin. \u201cYes son,\u201d he said, standing up and picking up the other side of the sack before they hauled it into the buckboard together. \u201cGood work Hoss,\u201d he said, patting the boy on the shoulder. \u201cI don\u2019t know what I\u2019d so without you son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss beamed proudly at his father and opened his mouth to reply, but his words were cut off by a loud shout from behind them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Pa!\u201d shouted Little Joe. \u201cIt\u2019s come Pa! The letter from Adam! It\u2019s come!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned to see Joe running towards them, waving a letter above his head excitedly. He grabbed it from the boy, his face showing eagerness as bright as both his boys as they gathered around their father impatiently. Ben ripped open the letter and scanned the three pages quickly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s he say Pa?\u201d asked Joe, jumping on Ben\u2019s foot again in his excitement, but this time his father didn\u2019t even notice. \u201cWhat\u2019s he say?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cHe got there safely,\u201d he said, looking up at his two boys. \u201cHe\u2019s in Boston and he\u2019s with his grandfather.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss leant against his father, trying to get a look at the letter. \u201cWhat\u2019s the other one?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a letter from Adam\u2019s grandfather,\u201d Ben explained, tucking it away for later. He scanned Adam\u2019s letter again eagerly. \u201cHe stopped in Chicago as arranged and caught up with George Breckenridge for a day or two,\u201d he said, half to himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 nose wrinkled at the sound of the name. \u201cI sure wish Mr Breckenridge were back here in Virginia City,\u201d he said. \u201cHe was heaps better at teaching than old Jonesy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d agreed Joe. \u201cHeaps better than old Jonesy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave his little brother a withering look. \u201cHow would you know?\u201d he asked. \u201cYou never had Mr Breckenridge for a teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had nothing to say to that, so he simply changed the subject. \u201cWhen\u2019s Adam coming home again Pa?\u201d he asked, eagerly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave his son a sad smile. \u201cNot for a long, long time Little Joe,\u201d he said. He looked at the letter again. \u201cHe says that classes start next week and he\u2019s very excited about it,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRead it out loud Pa,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cI wanna hear every word.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at them both. \u201cI will,\u201d he said. \u201cOn the way home. You can drive the team when we get out of town Hoss while I read it for all of us to enjoy. Come on boys, let\u2019s get going.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut we ain\u2019t got our candy yet!\u201d Little Joe protested.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached into his pocket and drew out two pennies. \u201cHurry up then,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll wait here for you.\u201c He smiled as he watched his two boys jostle each other to get into the store, their excitement about their brother\u2019s letter forgotten momentarily at the thought of the treats inside.<\/p>\n

Ben climbed up into the buckboard and looked at the letter in his hand again. He folded it and placed it for a moment against his chest as he stared off into the east, feeling a pang in his heart as he considered just how far away his boy was from him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope it\u2019s everything you want it to be Adam,\u201d he whispered. \u201cEverything.\u201d He sat thus for a few moments in silence as he waited for his two boys to return to him with their candy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0Adam prepares to apply for Harvard. Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (37,050 words) Pride Comes Before A Fall Hoss Cartwright flattened his nose against the glass and opened his eyes wide as he surveyed all the wonderful items in the store window. \u201cHey Joe!\u201d he shouted. \u201cCome and look at all these things!\u201d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":4115,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,1008,41,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-family","category-hurtcomfort","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1685,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/frontporch.jpg?fit=439%2C305&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1383,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1383","url_meta":{"origin":15205,"position":0},"title":"The Valentine’s Card (by KateP)","author":"KateP","date":"February 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0A little Bonanza story for Valentine's Day. Rated: K+ (2,320 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Heart-01.jpg?fit=370%2C584&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":39434,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=39434","url_meta":{"origin":15205,"position":1},"title":"A Single Wound (by Patina)","author":"patina","date":"August 17, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Danger lurks in a single wound. Rated:\u00a0 T Word Count:\u00a0 3925","rel":"","context":"In "Writing Challenges"","block_context":{"text":"Writing Challenges","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=40"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Ponderosa-Paddlewheel-boat.jpg?fit=225%2C225&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5940,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5940","url_meta":{"origin":15205,"position":2},"title":"Hoedown Showdown (by Patina)","author":"patina","date":"August 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Rating: K Word Count=1893 Summary: The best laid plan often doesn't play out as we'd imagined. WHN for Any Friend of Walter's.","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Hoss.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Hoss.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Hoss.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14134,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14134","url_meta":{"origin":15205,"position":3},"title":"A Summer’s Tale (by Krystyna)","author":"Krystyna","date":"September 3, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A hot day, a melting pig, and Joe wants to know about the birds and the bees. Rating: \u00a0G \u00a0(1,390 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/bird-bee.jpg?fit=981%2C981&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/bird-bee.jpg?fit=981%2C981&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/bird-bee.jpg?fit=981%2C981&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/bird-bee.jpg?fit=981%2C981&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14401,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14401","url_meta":{"origin":15205,"position":4},"title":"Surprise! (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"June 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Young Hoss and Joe have decided that Ben deserves a day off so they plan a special day with him, but Ben soon discovers it's more special than anyone anticipated. 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