{"id":1536,"date":"2003-10-29T14:35:17","date_gmt":"2003-10-29T19:35:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1536"},"modified":"2026-07-30T14:49:04","modified_gmt":"2026-07-30T18:49:04","slug":"fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1536","title":{"rendered":"Fear (by Rona)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/strong>Arriving home, Joe is astonished when Adam pulls a gun on him, claiming not to know him. Things go from bad to worse; until the break between brothers seems so wide it cannot be breached. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rated: \u00a0T \u00a0(10,810 words)
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fear<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

By Rona<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had never been afraid of his brother before; not in the true sense of the word. But he was afraid now. This was not his beloved big brother, the one who had protected him from school bullies and now stood firmly between him and any danger that came along. What had happened to him? Why was he behaving like this? Backing off, Joe knew that this was a fight he was destined to lose. With his hands bound the way they were, there was very little he could do.<\/span><\/p>\n

With an enraged roar, Adam lunged at Joe, grabbed his stunned brother by the lapel and hammered his fist into Joe\u2019s stomach half a dozen times. Joe crumpled helplessly, groaning as the pain bit into him. He pushed ineffectually at the hands that were picking him up, but his struggles were hopeless. Adam knelt by the ladder and lowered him over the edge of the hayloft. But he had misjudged the height.<\/span><\/p>\n

With a despairing cry, Joe plummeted down, for a moment catching the ladder in his hands. Then, his hands slipped and he fell again, feeling the awful thump as he hit bottom, but he was unconscious before the pain started spreading through his body.<\/span><\/p>\n

*********************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Adam,\u201d Joe said, surprised, as he came into the house earlier that afternoon and seeing his brother standing over by the stairs. \u201cYou\u2019re home early. How did the meeting go?\u201d He gasped as Adam turned to face him, for his brother\u2019s head had been bleeding, and dried blood was caked down Adam\u2019s face. \u201cAdam, you\u2019re hurt! What happened? Are you all right?\u201d He began to cross the room to his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t come any nearer,\u201d Adam warned, his voice hoarse. He drew his gun to add emphasis to his words. \u201cStay right there! Put your hands up!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Joe asked, perplexed. He took another tentative step forward, but stopped as the safety clicked off the gun.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said, put your hands up!\u201d Adam repeated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nervously, not understanding any of this, Joe did as he was told. \u201cAdam, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you and what are you doing in my house?\u201d Adam demanded. His eyes were narrowed with pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d Joe frowned. \u201cIt\u2019s me, Joe, your brother. And why shouldn\u2019t I be here? This is my home, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t get clever with me, boy!\u201d Adam warned. \u201cMove real slow and take off that gun belt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Worried now, as well as puzzled, Joe slowly took off his gun belt. He dropped it on the floor and looked back at Adam again. \u201cWhy are you doing this, Adam?\u201d he asked, trying to keep his tone calm. He didn\u2019t feel calm. Everything about this situation made him feel desperately uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ignoring the question, Adam moved towards the study, still keeping Joe covered. Joe turned with him, so that he was always facing his brother, hoping against hope that Adam would suddenly burst out laughing and tell him it was all a joke. But the still small voice of reason told Joe that this was not Adam\u2019s type of joke.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s saddle was dumped on the floor in front of the desk, complete with his gear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy have you brought your saddle in, Adam?\u201d Joe asked, \u201cYou know Pa doesn\u2019t like it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShut up!\u201d Adam growled. Crouching, his eyes still locked on Joe, Adam located his rope and straightened again. \u201cI don\u2019t know who you are, boy,\u201d he said, menacingly, \u201cbut you\u2019re going to do just as I tell you if you want to live.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m your brother!\u201d Joe cried, despairingly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have a brother,\u201d Adam replied, coldly and Joe could have wept at his tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m your youngest brother, Joe, and we have another brother, Hoss, who\u2019s between you and me in age. Don\u2019t you remember?\u201d His voice was shaking. \u201cHe\u2019s a really big guy and\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShut up!\u201d Adam ordered, sharply. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you admit you just came here to rob the place?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I didn\u2019t!\u201d Joe retorted. \u201cI live here!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy persist in lying?\u201d Adam growled. \u201cI know you aren\u2019t my brother! Now, put your hands in front of you and don\u2019t try anything. \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d Joe asked, apprehensively. \u201cAdam, please, whatever it is, don\u2019t do it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A bullet bit into the floor by Joe\u2019s foot. He flinched, his face paling. \u201cDidn\u2019t you hear what I said?\u201d demanded Adam. \u201cNow, clasp your hands together and put them out in front of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly, Joe did as he was bid. He watched Adam approach, as though he genuinely was wary of Joe, and closed his eyes as he felt the rough hemp slide over his wrists. Adam savagely tightened the rope, binding it around Joe\u2019s wrists until there was no chance of Joe getting free. Only when Adam\u2019s hands let go of his did Joe open his eyes again, and tears were standing in them. He knew Adam had been hurt, but he didn\u2019t understand what was going on at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

**********************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow what?\u201d he asked, hoarsely as Adam put away his gun.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow I take you into town to the sheriff,\u201d Adam snapped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt least Roy will be able to tell you who I really am,\u201d Joe replied. He looked down at his bound hands, and felt a frisson of fear in his belly. Whatever was wrong with Adam had to be serious. His brother would never treat him like this. Joe\u2019s hands were going numb. \u201cPlease, Adam, I\u2019m not going to hurt you. Please, take off these ropes,\u201d Joe begged. \u201cMy hands are going numb.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGet going,\u201d Adam replied, and gave Joe a vicious shove that nearly floored the slighter man.<\/span><\/p>\n

As they entered the barn, Adam realized, through the blinding headache that was affecting his thinking, that he would need to tie his prisoner to something while he saddled horses. He had deliberately left an end of the rope dangling between the young man\u2019s wrists just in case, and he reached for it now, and dragged the man over to the ladder.<\/span><\/p>\n

Panicked, not knowing what Adam meant to do, Joe snatched his hands out of the way and swarmed up the ladder to the hayloft. Adam was hot on his heels. Joe glanced around as he regained his feet, realizing at once that climbing had been stupid. He had cut down his options drastically. Moments later, Adam\u2019s head appeared and he gave Joe a tight grin. \u201cNowhere to run to now, boy,\u201d he hissed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had never been afraid of his brother before; not in the true sense of the word. But he was afraid now. This was not his beloved big brother, the one who had protected him from school bullies and now stood firmly between him and any danger that came along. What had happened to him? Why was he behaving like this? Backing off, Joe knew that this was a fight he was destined to lose. With his hands bound the way they were, there was very little he could do.<\/span><\/p>\n

With an enraged roar, Adam lunged at Joe, grabbed his stunned brother by the lapel and hammered his fist into Joe\u2019s stomach half a dozen times. Joe crumpled helplessly, groaning as the pain bit into him. He pushed ineffectually at the hands that were picking him up, but his struggles were hopeless. Adam knelt by the ladder and lowered Joe over the edge of the hayloft, intending him to land on his feet. But he had misjudged the height.<\/span><\/p>\n

With a despairing cry, Joe plummeted down, for a moment catching the ladder in his hands. Then, his hands slipped and he fell again, feeling the awful thump as he hit bottom, but he was unconscious before the pain started spreading through his body.<\/span><\/p>\n

***********************<\/span><\/p>\n

The cry that broke from Hoss\u2019 throat was a sound Ben would never forget. Dismounting hurriedly from his horse, he dropped the rein and rushed over to see what was causing his middle son to stand transfixed in the barn doorway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Ben exclaimed, his voice filled with horror. He pushed past his immobile son and stood looking down on Joe for a long minute, unable to believe his eyes. Joe lay on his right side, his hands bound together in front of him and he was unconscious. Judging by the pool of blood under his head, he had been lying there for some time. Ben could not imagine what had happened to him. Why was he tied up? Who had done this to him?<\/span><\/p>\n

Kneeling by Joe, Ben reached for him, but Hoss put out his hand and stopped him. \u201cPa, wait,\u201d he urged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait?\u201d Ben echoed, looking up at Hoss as though he had lost his mind. \u201cWait for what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A look of pain crossed Hoss\u2019 face. \u201cPa, we don\u2019 know what happened ta Joe,\u201d he explained. \u201cMaybe movin\u2019 him\u2019s not such a great idea. He could be hurt real bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The sense of that could not be denied. \u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d Ben agreed. \u201cQuick, get the doctor!\u201d He leant over Joe and brushed the curls back from his forehead. \u201cJoe, can you hear me, son?\u201d There was no response.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a few moments Hoss was back, and while Ben steadied Joe gently and carefully, Hoss hacked away the rope tying his little brother\u2019s wrists. He didn\u2019t say anything to Ben, but the knots on the rope looked all too familiar to him.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I think I ought ta go inta the house an\u2019 look fer Adam. His horse is there, but we ain\u2019t seen no signs o\u2019 him. He could be hurt, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBe careful,\u201d Ben pleaded, fear darkening his eyes. \u201cWhoever did this to Joe might still be there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be careful,\u201d Hoss assured him grimly, his tone not boding well for the miscreant who had done this, if Hoss caught up with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Crossing to the house, Hoss drew his gun and pushed open the door. Joe\u2019s hat lay on the credenza; his gun belt was on the floor by the pier table behind the settee. Hoss frowned. This didn\u2019t make any sense. Why would Joe take off his hat as always and yet drop his gun on the floor? There didn\u2019t appear to be anything out of place. Hoss turned his head and looked towards the study alcove and saw the saddle sitting before the desk. He went over and recognized it as Adam\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d he called and listened. There was silence.<\/span><\/p>\n

Warily, Hoss went on. The kitchen was deserted, as he had expected, as Hop Sing had gone into town to visit relatives and pick up some supplies while he was there. He wasn\u2019t expected back until late in the afternoon. Hoss headed for the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

The bedrooms were empty. Joe\u2019s was slightly untidy, as was often the case, with a shirt tossed carelessly across the bed. Hoss\u2019 own one looked exactly as it had when he left it that morning, with his curtains fluttering in the slight breeze coming in the window. Ben\u2019s maroon dressing gown lay on his bed and a faint scent of his bay rum aftershave hung in the air.<\/span><\/p>\n

His heart in his mouth, Hoss tiptoed across the hall to throw open the door to Adam\u2019s room.<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn\u2019t this. The room was deserted, as tidy as ever, with no sign that anyone had been there, including Adam. Slowly, Hoss holstered his gun. Wherever Adam was, he wasn\u2019t in the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

When he got back to the barn, Joe was groaning steadily as he neared consciousness. Ben was murmuring soothing words, and he looked up anxiously as Hoss came in. \u201cWell?\u201d he asked, his heart in his dark eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t no sign o\u2019 him,\u201d Hoss replied, seeing the disappointment and worry deepen on his father\u2019s face. \u201cHis saddle\u2019s lyin\u2019 in front o\u2019 yer desk, but I cain\u2019t see anythin\u2019 else out a place.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSport\u2019s here,\u201d Ben muttered, glancing at Joe, who moaned again. \u201cWhere can Adam be?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking round the barn, Hoss noticed for the first time that one of the spare saddles was missing. \u201cHey, Pa, one o\u2019 them saddles ain\u2019t there.\u201d He went outside as Ben glanced over at the saddles. Moments later, Hoss was back. \u201cSomeone\u2019s taken a horse from the corral – that grey that Adam liked so much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think it could have been Adam?\u201d Ben asked, perplexed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d Hoss admitted. \u201cIt coulda bin.\u201d He bit his lip. \u201cYa want me ta go lookin\u2019 fer him, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben said, regretfully, after a moment\u2019s thought. \u201cYou\u2019d better stay here with me, in case the doctor needs anything. Is Hop Sing back yet?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cYa want me ta go an\u2019 boil some water, jist in case it\u2019s needed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, thank you, son,\u201d Ben replied, gratefully. \u201cCould you bring a blanket, too, please? Joe feels a bit cold.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing,\u201d Hoss agreed and hurried over to the house to bring back a blanket, before he went to coax a flame in the stove so he could put the water on to boil.<\/span><\/p>\n

*******************<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a long anxious wait for the doctor and Joe was conscious before he arrived and in great pain. He seemed quite dazed, but Ben wasn\u2019t surprised by that, as he had been unconscious for quite a long time. He kept his hand lightly on Joe\u2019s waist, urging his son to keep still. Joe didn\u2019t say anything, but he seemed to understand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Paul asked, hurrying into the barn to kneel at Joe\u2019s side. He took in the pool of dried blood on the ground under Joe\u2019s head and the position the young man was lying in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t know,\u201d Ben admitted, moving slightly so that Paul had easier access to Joe. Joe\u2019s eyes opened and he glanced at Ben, as he moved, clearly anxious. \u201cWe came home and found Joe lying here.\u201d Ben swallowed. \u201cHis hands were tied.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHas he said anything?\u201d Paul asked, his fingers running through Joe\u2019s hair. Joe winced.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, do you remember what happened?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFell,\u201d Joe whispered. \u201cLadder.\u201d He licked his dry lips.<\/span><\/p>\n

Glancing involuntarily up at the ladder to the hayloft, Ben grew pale. Paul patted his friend on the arm, but his eyes never left Joe. \u201cFrom the top, Joe? Or part of the way down?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPart,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about Adam,\u201d Ben soothed, but something in his tone made Paul glance at him sharply.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe closed his eyes again as Paul began his examination. He winced several times, but Paul\u2019s face began to look less grim as the examination progressed. Finally, he straightened up. \u201cHave you got a board, or an old door that we could use to move Joe?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSomewhere,\u201d Ben responded, glancing around helplessly. \u201cPaul, how is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll git it,\u201d Hoss muttered and hurried to find the old door they kept \u2018just in case\u2019. He took it back in to hear Paul say,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get him settled first, Ben, then I\u2019ll tell you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*******************<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking at his son\u2019s white face on the pillow, Ben\u2019s heart gave another lurch of fear. Paul gave Joe a painkilling injection and waited for it to take effect before he drew Ben and Hoss away from the bed. Joe\u2019s eyes opened for a moment, but Ben quickly reassured his son that he wasn\u2019t going anywhere.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe has a concussion,\u201d Paul began. \u201cThere doesn\u2019t appear to be a skull fracture, and for that we have to be truly grateful. We don\u2019t know how far up the ladder he was, but I have to conclude that he was lucky. As for his other injuries, well, they are quite serious. He has broken his right collarbone and elbow. I can only conclude that having his hands tied protected his wrists and hands. There are a couple of ribs broken, too and his right ankle. His right knee is dislocated. I\u2019m amazed that his legs were not both badly broken, and quite relieved, too. This is going to be hard enough for Joe as it is.\u201d Paul sighed. \u201cBen, I\u2019m going to put Joe to sleep and reduce these factures and the dislocation. I\u2019ll take a couple of stitches in the head wound, too. You\u2019ll need to keep an eye on him. I don\u2019t usually give much pain relief with an injury like that, but I\u2019m forced to this time. I\u2019m not happy about having to knock him out, either, but for Joe\u2019s sake, it\u2019s kinder.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo what you have to,\u201d Ben muttered. He went back over to the bed, and took Joe\u2019s hand. The right side of Joe\u2019s face was caked in blood, but Ben could see the bruises beginning to show. \u201cThe doctor\u2019s going to help you, Joe,\u201d he soothed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once more, Joe opened his eyes. They were glazed with pain and the morphine, his pupils contracted, so that the green almost drowned out the black. \u201cAdam,\u201d he whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, don\u2019t worry,\u201d Ben told him. \u201cAdam will be all right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you\u2026 don\u2019t understand,\u201d Joe protested, his voice weak. He swallowed against the dryness in his throat. \u201cAdam\u2026 did this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, son?\u201d Ben asked, leaning in closer. He put up a hand to stop Paul applying the chloroform. \u201cDo you mean\u00a0Adam<\/em>\u00a0did this to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Joe choked, tears welling in his eyes as he heard the stunned disbelief in Ben\u2019s voice. \u201cHe was\u2026 hurt,\u201d he went on, doggedly, determined to make Ben understand. \u201cHis head was\u2026 bleeding and he\u2026didn\u2019t know\u2026 who I was.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, are you sure?\u201d Ben demanded, his voice rising as his fear grew. Adam wouldn\u2019t hurt Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Joe insisted. \u201cHe\u2019s hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing that both Joe and Ben were getting very worked up, Paul stepped in. \u201cDon\u2019t you worry about it, Joe,\u201d he soothed. \u201cWe\u2019ll find Adam. You just relax and when you wake up, you\u2019ll feel a bit better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The injured youth gave the doctor a cynical look. \u201cWill I?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me,\u201d Paul joked and applied the chloroform. Joe fought it, as he always did, but he was soon fast asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

*******************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe it,\u201d Ben muttered. He had said the same phrase over and over again since they left Joe\u2019s room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe don\u2019t tell lies,\u201d Hoss said, heavily. \u201cPa, he said Adam\u2019s hurt. I think I ought ta go out an\u2019 look fer him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Glancing once more at the stairs, Ben nodded. \u201cYes, that\u2019s a good idea,\u201d he agreed. \u201cThen we\u2019ll find out what happened.\u201d he looked at Hoss. \u201cThank you, son. I know how worried you are about Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot jist about Joe,\u201d Hoss told him. \u201cBut you heard the doc, Pa. Joe\u2019s gonna be all right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, of course,\u201d Ben agreed, but Hoss could see that Ben was not convinced. Until he saw his son, alive and awake, and found Adam and got to the bottom of this whole mess, he would not believe any assurances, no matter who made them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Putting on his hat and gun belt, Hoss let himself out of the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

**********************<\/span><\/p>\n

Initially, tracking Adam was quite hard, as all the tracks around the ranch house and yard were mixed up from the comings and goings. However, after casting around in a wide circle, Hoss eventually found the tracks he was looking for and began to follow them towards the lake. After a few miles, he found a horse shoe and a little while after that, he came across the grey gelding grazing peacefully, tethered to a tree. Hoss dismounted and lifted each foot in turn until he found the one that was shoeless. The hoof looked all right and when Hoss gently tested it, he found that the horse was not sore. However badly injured Adam might be, he was sufficiently with it to realize that his horse was in difficulty. Knowing that his brother was now on foot, Hoss set off again.<\/span><\/p>\n

He had gone less than a mile when he spotted Adam sitting by the road. The older Cartwright son had his head in his hands, but he jerked his head up when he heard the hooves on the road. He rose warily to his feet as Hoss slowed Chub and slowly dismounted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo away!\u201d Adam ordered, but there was a strange quiver in his voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy, Adam,\u201d Hoss crooned. \u201cI ain\u2019t gonna hurt cha. It\u2019s me, ol\u2019 Hoss. Ya ain\u2019t afraid o\u2019 me, are ya?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know you!\u201d Adam insisted, backing up. His eyes were wild, darting from side to side as though looking for someplace to run. The blood was still clinging to his face, as though Adam was unaware of it, which he was. \u201cLeave me alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIts all right,\u201d Hoss soothed, talking to Adam in much the same tone as he spoke to a scared or injured horse. \u201cI know this is frightenin\u2019, but I ain\u2019t gonna hurt ya. I\u2019m here ta help ya, Adam.\u201d As he spoke, Hoss edged nearer.<\/span><\/p>\n

As he spoke, something approaching recognition flickered and then died in Adam\u2019s eyes. He half turned away from Hoss, as though he was going to run away. Hoss took his chance and launched himself at Adam, catching his brother around the waist and bearing him to the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

Obviously frightened, Adam fought Hoss, but the other man was taller and heavier and had not had a knock on the head. Hoss soon had Adam subdued. \u201cCome on, big brother,\u201d Hoss panted, climbing to his feet, but not letting go his grip on Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cLet\u2019s get you home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Exhausted, defeated, Adam made no more attempts to fight or run away. He meekly mounted Chub in front of Hoss and they headed back for home.<\/span><\/p>\n

***********************<\/span><\/p>\n

The light was beginning to go when they rode wearily into the yard at the ranch. Hoss slid down from Chub\u2019s broad aback and put up his hands to help Adam. Adam uncharacteristically accepted the help and looked around as though surprised. \u201cWhy did you bring me here?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s our home,\u201d Hoss replied, patiently.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam studied him closely. \u201cWho did you say you are?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m yer brother, Hoss,\u201d the other replied. \u201cCome on, Adam, let\u2019s git ya inside so\u2019s the doc c\u2019n take a look at ya.\u201d Unresisting, Adam followed meekly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Ben was on his feet, relief all over his face. Paul Martin rose from the sofa and looked at Adam. What he saw did not reassure him at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Adam asked, and he looked surprised.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son, I was worried about you,\u201d Ben replied and hurried over to take his injured son\u2019s arm, and guide him to the sofa. \u201cSit down. Where have you been? What happened to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEasy, Ben,\u201d Paul urged, in an undertone. \u201cDon\u2019t pressure him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026don\u2019t know,\u201d Adam responded, vaguely. \u201cI came home and this big boy came in. He seemed to think he knew me and said he was my brother.\u201d His eyes sought Hoss. \u201cBut it wasn\u2019t you, yet you say you\u2019re my brother, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou have two brothers,\u201d Ben reminded him, gently.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo I?\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked surprised. \u201cPa, I… don\u2019t remember.\u201d He suddenly put his hand to his head and winced. \u201cI tied the boy up, because he was\u2026 was\u2026 I don\u2019t know. But I was\u2026 afraid. Then, I was going to take him to the sheriff, but\u2026 something happened.\u201d His brow furled in concentration as he fought to retrieve the memory. \u201cHe fell from\u2026 somewhere. I don\u2019t remember too well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy, son,\u201d Ben murmured, shocked by the disjointed way that Adam was talking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou look\u2026 older, Pa,\u201d Adam muttered, studying his father closely. \u201cYour hair didn\u2019t use to be white.\u201d He looked at Hoss again. \u201cYou say you\u2019re Hoss, but\u2026he\u2019s just a little kid.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Deeply disturbed, Ben said, \u201cLet the doctor have a look at you, Adam.\u201d He moved aside as Paul sat down by Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to have to take stitches in that cut, Adam,\u201d Paul told him, when he had completed his examination. He looked at Ben. \u201cAdam\u2019s had a severe blow to the head, and it looks to me like it was done with some kind of weapon. Not a gun butt, but something as hard as that. He\u2019s got a severe concussion, which is affecting his memory. It should all sort itself out, but I\u2019m afraid you\u2019ve got your work cut out for you here, Ben, looking after both Joe and Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll manage,\u201d Ben assured him stoutly. \u201cCome on, Adam; let\u2019s get you up to bed so the doctor can stitch your head.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

************************<\/span><\/p>\n

Checking on Joe while Ben stayed with Paul and Adam, Hoss was relieved to find his younger brother sound asleep. Joe\u2019s face had been washed clean of the blood, but there was a huge bruise spreading all over his right cheek and his head was bandaged. There was a figure 8 bandage swathed around his shoulders holding the broken collar bone in place and Joe\u2019s right arm was in a sling. His elbow was also bandaged.<\/span><\/p>\n

Further down, the bandages around Joe\u2019s ribs peeked out from the covers, which had slipped down slightly. Hoss adjusted them so that Joe wouldn\u2019t get cold. The blankets were pulled up and tucked around his left leg, leaving his plastered right leg exposed to the air. There was a towel underneath it to protect the bedding until the plaster was completely dry. Hoss touched the plaster tentatively. It was still a bit wet. Joe\u2019s hip, where it was exposed, was black and blue and the bruise ran down underneath the cast. His toes, where they poked out of the plaster, were black and blue, too. \u00a0The upper part of Joe\u2019s right arm was bruised as well and Hoss assumed that all of his brother\u2019s right side would bear similar discoloration. He wasn\u2019t wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting down in the chair by the bed, Hoss gazed intently at Joe\u2019s face, trying to puzzle out what had happened. Adam, by his own admission, had tied Joe up. He had lost his memory, and several years along with it. Joe must have seemed like a threat to Adam, bearing in mind that Adam had lost about 20 years of his life.<\/span><\/p>\n

But what had happened to Adam? Paul said he had been hit by a weapon of some kind, but who had done it and why? Why had Adam and Joe been in the hayloft, and how had Joe come to fall down the ladder?<\/span><\/p>\n

None of it made sense to Hoss, but he knew that they would have to find the answers and quickly, for everyone\u2019s sake.<\/span><\/p>\n

**************************<\/span><\/p>\n

Come morning, both Ben\u2019s invalids were awake. Joe was in a great deal of pain, moving restlessly as much as he was able, trying to find a comfortable way to lie. Now that he was in plaster, some of the pain had gone, but not enough. The weight of his broken elbow dragged on his broken collarbone and Ben removed the sling to try and ease the problem. Paul had mentioned it to him the previous night.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you could eat?\u201d Ben asked, after helping Joe with his personal needs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face was still flushed from needing help to pee, but he nodded. \u201cI guess so,\u201d he responded, listlessly. He wondered how old he would have to be before he could accept that kind of help without embarrassment. He glanced up as Ben headed for the door. \u201cHey, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cYes, son?\u201d Ben asked turning to looked at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid\u2026 did you find Adam?\u201d Joe wasn\u2019t sure what he wanted the answer to be. Whenever he thought of Adam, he thought of the man in the hayloft and fear spiked through his gut. That was not the Adam he knew, and he desperately wanted his brother back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Hoss found him,\u201d Ben confirmed. \u201cHe has a bad head injury, Joe and a partial memory loss. He thinks he\u2019s just a boy, still and he was afraid of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfraid of me?\u201d Joe gasped. \u201cWhy? I never guessed he was afraid of me! I was sure afraid of him, though!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t remember you,\u201d Ben told Joe, gently. \u201cHe thought you were here to rob the house, and he was afraid, because he thought you were older than him. We haven\u2019t been able to find out what happened to him, because of course he doesn\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Joe said, in a small voice and snuggled into his pillows. The world seemed to have become an inexplicable place all of a sudden.<\/span><\/p>\n

*******************<\/span><\/p>\n

Across the hall, Adam was struggling to assimilate the new information he was being bombarded with. He still found it difficult to believe that he had lost about 20 years somewhere. Hoss had been in earlier and Adam could see a resemblance to the child that he remembered so clearly.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it was when he rose from his bed, against his father\u2019s wishes, and looked at himself in the mirror that he got the biggest shock. The man looking back at him from the mirror was mature. The dark brown eyes regarded his reflection steadily, even if they did look a bit shocked. His face looked serious, and his body was filled out. He looked like the kind of man Adam had always hoped he would become. Looking down at himself for the first time, Adam made the jump to accepting that he was now an adult.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting back down on the bed, Adam rubbed his temples, hoping that the pounding headache would go away. He felt sick. He had been so afraid the previous afternoon when he had arrived home. The house looked different; the furniture was better than he remembered, and there was more of it. He had gazed in confusion at the third picture of a lady on his father\u2019s desk. Who was she, and why did his Pa have a photo of her? His gaze fell on Inger\u2019s picture, the only mother he could remember, and he felt a little comforted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Deciding that he needed to rest, because he felt strangely tired, Adam had been going to the stairs when the door opened and Joe came in. Adam was shocked when this strange man had walked in like he owned the place and then addressed him by name. Adam had drawn the gun he was wearing, although he knew Pa would be angry when he discovered that Adam had a gun. What was worse, Adam didn\u2019t know where it had come from.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tying the man\u2019s hands had been one of the most difficult things he\u2019d ever done. The man looked so sad while he was doing it and Adam had almost stopped and begged for forgiveness. Then they had gone to the barn, but Adam didn\u2019t remember that part.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or did he?<\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking about it now, Adam wasn\u2019t so sure. He could remember climbing into the hayloft and feeling really angry. Abruptly, the man\u2019s face flashed before his eyes, and he flinched at the fear imprinted on that face. The man had been afraid of him, and as Adam remembered, he realized that he was taller than the man, and, looking at himself, broader, too. Had the man been frightened that he would hurt him?<\/span><\/p>\n

Closing his eyes, Adam tried to fight off the memories, but they were coming thick and fast now, crowding in on him, not giving him the chance to even breathe, it seemed. He could remember thinking that the man would not be able to manage the ladder, because he had punched him. And as he leaned over to lower him down, he had become dizzy and dropped him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d The word burst from Adam as he threw himself down on his bed. His headache was worse than ever as he remembered the cry as the man fell and then the awful, sickening thud as he hit the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

Although he could remember nothing after that, Adam was still being assaulted by his memory. Images from the past came to him, even as he heard his father enter the room, demanding to know if he was all right. Adam couldn\u2019t answer, as he remembered his adult life and all that went with it. But most especially, he remembered Hoss and Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh yes, he remembered Joe and he thought the guilt would kill him. He had almost killed his little brother. He had tied him up and frightened him and then almost killed him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben was kneeling by his son\u2019s side, not knowing what was going on, but sensing a terrible struggle. His hands were on Adam\u2019s shoulders, giving support and strength. \u201cAdam, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally lifting his head, almost all his memories intact, Adam replied, \u201cI remember.\u201d His voice was hoarse and his eyes glittered with unshed tears. He couldn\u2019t meet Ben\u2019s gaze. \u201cPa, I remember,\u201d he whispered wretchedly and collapsed in a faint.<\/span><\/p>\n

************************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what happened to me,\u201d Adam told Ben, tiredly. He was lying flat on his bed, roused from his faint with some brandy. Ben hadn\u2019t sent for Doc Martin, since he had said he would be out that morning anyway. \u201cAll I remember is coming home and thinking that the house looked different. I looked at the picture of Marie and wondered who she was. Then Joe came in and I was afraid. I pulled my gun, but I thought you would be angry if you knew I had got hold of a gun! I decided I had to tie Joe up, so I wouldn\u2019t be so afraid.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At Ben\u2019s encouraging nod, he went on. \u201cWhen we got to the barn, I realized that there weren\u2019t any horses saddled. I was afraid that Joe would run away, so I decided to tie him to the ladder while I got the horses ready. Joe, I don\u2019t know why, climbed up the ladder. I went after him and I was angry. So angry, Pa. Joe looked frightened.\u201d He looked away from Ben again. \u201cI hit him. I\u2019m sorry, Pa, but I was so afraid.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, son,\u201d Ben soothed. \u201cJoe\u2019s going to be just fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI realized that he wouldn\u2019t manage the ladder alone, and I guess I must have known that I wasn\u2019t a child, because I tried to lower him down. But I had forgotten how high the loft is, or I misjudged the height; I don\u2019t know. But as I leant over, I got dizzy and Joe fell.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened after that?\u201d Ben asked, when it was clear Adam wasn\u2019t going to say any more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d Adam admitted. \u201cI must have ridden away, and I remember the horse limping and discovering his shoe was off. I tethered him and went on foot. I don\u2019t know where I thought I was going. And when Hoss came, I was afraid all over again. Pa, what does it mean?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt means that you have a very bad head injury,\u201d Ben told him. \u201cIt messed up your memory and left you feeling very vulnerable. Don\u2019t worry about it, Adam. It\u2019s quite normal.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I ever face Joe again?\u201d Adam asked. \u201cAll those injuries and all my fault.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe doesn\u2019t blame you,\u201d Ben assured his son. \u201cHe knows you were hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, when I went to tie his hands, he let me, Pa.\u201d Adam closed his eyes. \u201cHe was afraid of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course he let you tie his hands,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cYou\u2019re his brother and you were hurt. Joe didn\u2019t want you to be hurt any more. Adam, why don\u2019t you get some sleep? You must be exhausted after remembering all that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am,\u201d Adam replied, and although he wasn\u2019t sure he wanted to sleep, he closed his eyes and made his body relax. And after a time, the pain and the emotions lulled him to sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

********************<\/span><\/p>\n

No less exhausted himself, Ben left Adam\u2019s room when his son was asleep and leant on the wall outside. Small wonder Adam had let out that agonized cry. It must have been horrendous for him to realize what he had done to Joe, even though it was an accident.<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly, Ben went across to Joe\u2019s room. As he opened the door, two pairs of eager eyes turned to him, curiosity apparent on both faces. For all that Joe and Hoss were as unalike as brothers could be, they often shared remarkably similar expressions and now was no exception. \u201cWhat did he say?\u201d Joe asked, in a small voice. He wasn\u2019t sure if he wanted to know or not.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting down, Ben sighed. He repeated his conversation with Adam and his other sons listened without interruption. By the end, Joe\u2019s eyes were glistening with tears, and Hoss looked pole-axed. \u201cPoor Adam,\u201d Hoss sighed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked away. He wasn\u2019t sure what he thought. Adam\u2019s story answered so many questions for him, but it didn\u2019t take away the fear he had felt, and still felt. He understood intellectually that Adam had been afraid of him, but emotionally, Joe wasn\u2019t ready to make the jump. It was too soon after the event, and he was too shaken to take it in. Plus, he, too had a bad head injury, and his thinking was fuzzy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Belatedly, he realized that both Hoss and Ben were looking at him. He flushed miserably. \u201cYeah, poor Adam,\u201d he muttered, but it didn\u2019t sound convincing even to his own ears.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSurely you don\u2019t blame Adam?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Joe protested. \u201cBut he\u2019s right \u2013 I was afraid of him.\u201d Dropping his eyes and his voice, Joe added, \u201cI\u2019m still afraid of him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

********************<\/span><\/p>\n

Over the next few days, as Adam and Joe began to recover, Ben and Hoss made every effort to find out what had happened to Adam. They traced his movements from the meeting he had had with a mine owner in Virginia City, to a beer in the Silver Dollar, to the start of his ride home. But there they lost his trail. Adam had been seen leaving town about mid-afternoon and had not been seen again until Joe entered the house. None of the hands working the ranch had seen anybody around that day, and from careful questioning, Ben could account for everyone\u2019s whereabouts, not that he had truly suspected any of their men. The mystery remained.<\/span><\/p>\n

At home, Adam was soon ambulatory, but he studiously avoided crossing the hall to go to Joe\u2019s room. Joe was confined to bed, and would be for some time as his injuries healed. Every day he asked about Adam, but he wasn\u2019t sure if he wanted his brother to come to see him or not. He still had flashes of fear as he remembered the hayloft, and sometimes his resentment against Adam grew. At other times, he could understand that his brother had been injured and wasn\u2019t responsible for his actions. Yet, because they had not had the chance to talk, Joe was growing confused as to what he believed. His own head injury had made his memory of events rather patchy and sometimes he would wake from a sleep, convinced that Adam had hurt him deliberately.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling this morning?\u201d Ben asked Adam, as he sat down in his chair by the fire, preparing to do some reading. The bandage was off Adam\u2019s head, and only the dark scab remained to remind them of what happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I guess,\u201d Adam replied. He lifted his book.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you going to see Joe?\u201d Ben asked, his tone enquiring only, not condemning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 well, I\u2026,\u201d Adam stammered, a flush staining his face and neck.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe longer you leave it, the harder it will become,\u201d Ben prophesied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam admitted. He put his book down. \u201cI just don\u2019t know what to say to him, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStart with the truth,\u201d Ben suggested. \u201cTell him you\u2019re sorry you hurt him, but you were afraid and didn\u2019t know what was happening to you.\u201d He rested his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cJoe knows you didn\u2019t do it deliberately, but the longer you avoid him, the more likely it is that he will start believing that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I wouldn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Adam began and his words trailed off.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell him,\u201d Ben suggested. He watched as Adam slowly rose to his feet and resolutely began to climb the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

**********************<\/span><\/p>\n

Turning his head upon the pillow as Adam came in, Joe wondered if he could believe his eyes. He knew Adam had been up and around for several days now, but as each day had passed without his brother coming to see him, Joe had begun to believe that Adam would never come. Now, here he was, hesitating in the doorway as though nervous. A slightly hysterical desire to laugh swept over Joe, but he managed to quell it. Adam was nervous? At least he could get up and leave if things got too heavy!<\/span><\/p>\n

Walking over to the bed at last, Adam continued to look at Joe in silence. He was seeing his brother from a new perspective. He\u2019s always seen Joe as the youngest and smallest of the family, someone in need of protection. Yet, when he\u2019d seen Joe from the perspective of a child, he had seen him as a powerful man, someone who could do Adam harm. Looking at Joe now, Adam saw him with fresh eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Although Joe was the youngest and smallest of the family, he was also a man grown. He was slender of build, but his leanness disguised the impressive musculature of his upper body. Seeing Joe for the first time in a long time without a shirt on, Adam was astounded at the amount of muscles that were in evidence on Joe\u2019s chest. By comparison, Adam felt quite puny. No wonder the child Adam of his mind had been afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Joe,\u201d he blurted, just when Joe had decided that neither of them would be able to break the silence that held them both captive. \u201cThis is all my fault. I didn\u2019t mean to hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you didn\u2019t,\u201d Joe assured him, huskily. \u201cYou were hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Relief flooded Adam and he sat heavily in the chair by the bed. His hands were shaking, he noticed. \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d Adam asked, reaching for Joe\u2019s hand, as he often did when sitting with his brother when he was sick.<\/span><\/p>\n

To his immense horror, Joe flinched away from his touch. Adam raised puzzled eyes to his brother, not understanding. Joe looked appalled, and after a searing moment when he met his brother\u2019s gaze, he dropped his eyes to his wrist and Adam, following the direction of his brother\u2019s gaze, saw the not-quite-healed rope burn on the skin there. And then he understood. Joe had reacted instinctively to the movement \u2013 because the last time Adam had taken Joe\u2019s hand, he had tied his brother up. With a sound, Adam pushed himself to his feet and began to back away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, wait! I\u2019m sorry!\u201d Joe cried, reaching for Adam now. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean it, Adam! Adam, please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But it was too late. Adam had fled, and Joe could only stare at the door through burning eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

****************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid your brother speak with you?\u201d Ben asked Joe as he helped his son settle for bed that night.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he did,\u201d Joe replied, hoping Ben wouldn\u2019t want a blow by blow account of the meeting. Joe had spent the whole day trying to forget the look on Adam\u2019s face as he fled the room, but he had failed. He yawned widely, exhausted, although he had had a long sleep that afternoon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to talk about it?\u201d Ben prompted, as he arranged a pillow for Joe\u2019s elbow.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wincing as his father lifted his arm gently onto the pillow, Joe shook his head. He gritted his teeth for a moment until the pain subsided again. When it did, he looked up into Ben\u2019s concerned face and found a smile. \u201cI\u2019m all right, Pa,\u201d he replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure, Joe?\u201d Ben asked, puzzled, for Adam had not wanted to talk about their meeting either.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cQuite sure,\u201d Joe agreed. His eyelids were drooping as his nightly pain medication began to kick in. He was no longer taking anything through the day, but Ben always insisted that he take something at night. Joe didn\u2019t have the energy to fight him. \u201cG\u2019night, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNight, son,\u201d Ben answered softly, brushing a hand over his son\u2019s head. He tiptoed from the room, although he couldn\u2019t help pausing in the doorway to look back. He was convinced that Joe was not telling him the truth, but he could see no way to force the truth from his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****************<\/span><\/p>\n

As Adam regained his health, he began to ease back into the working life of the ranch and was soon out working from dawn to dusk. There was plenty to be done, and they were all tired at night. To Ben and Hop Sing fell the nursing duties, although Hoss did what he could. Adam went in every night to speak to Joe, but there was usually another member of the family present at the time, and to begin with, nobody noticed that the oldest and youngest Cartwright sons were not talking to each other. About the time Ben noticed that there was a distinct lack of communication between them, Adam had headed off for a meeting in San Francisco, which would occupy him for several weeks. His leave-taking of Joe had been short and casual.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs there still a problem between you and Adam?\u201d Ben asked, anxiously. Joe had been subdued for weeks, now that Ben thought about it, but he had put it down to the fact that Joe was bedridden. And that was indeed part of it, but the main part was the distance between Joe and his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly, with many pauses, Joe finally related the conversation he and Adam had had, and his reaction to Adam reaching for his hand. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to do it, Pa!\u201d he cried, as passionately as a child. Tears stood in his eyes as the memory smote him once more. \u201cI was as surprised as he was!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Joe,\u201d Ben soothed. \u201cAnd I\u2019m sure deep down Adam knows that as well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But Joe was not to be soothed. Now that this was out in the open, he was not going to accept platitudes meant to calm him down. \u201cAre you?\u201d he challenged. \u201cWell, I\u2019m not! If Adam understood, then why has he been avoiding me, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t shout at me, Joe,\u201d Ben warned him. He sighed. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you mention this before?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you have done?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cThe only people who can sort this out are me and Adam, and we can\u2019t do that until I can go after him when he runs away.\u201d Joe looked ruefully at his plastered leg. His collarbone was healed and his elbow wasn\u2019t far behind, but his ankle was taking its own sweet time and Paul had refused to put on a shorter plaster, in case the weight of it pulled the knee out of its socket again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI would have talked with you both,\u201d Ben insisted. \u201cI could have sorted everything out.\u201d He looked upset that he hadn\u2019t realized that there was a problem, and now Adam was gone and would not be back for a while. Would the breach between the brothers be that much wider when he returned?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we\u2019re not children anymore,\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cYou can\u2019t tell us to kiss and make up! We\u2019re grown men, and you can\u2019t sort out all our problems for us, no matter how much we may want you to,\u201d he went on , his voice softer now. \u201cSome things we just have to sort out for ourselves.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For a long moment, Ben just looked at Joe. He was right. He couldn\u2019t force his sons to talk to each other. \u201cAre you still afraid of Adam?\u201d he asked, quietly, dreading the answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ducking his head, Joe nodded. \u201dYes, he admitted, almost inaudibly.<\/span><\/p>\n

***********************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat am I going to do?\u201d Ben asked Hoss, after relating the tale to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019 see what ya\u00a0can<\/em>\u00a0do, Pa,\u201d Hoss admitted. \u201cAin\u2019t nobody able to make \u2018em talk ta each other. Not talk proper, like. I know it\u2019s hard, Pa, but we jist gotta let \u2018em sort it out themselves, like Little Joe says.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so hard,\u201d Ben lamented. \u201cI can\u2019t bear to see them like this. Why didn\u2019t I notice before?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t easy ta tell what\u2019s bitin\u2019 Joe,\u201d Hoss reminded him wisely. \u201cAn\u2019 he is fed up o\u2019 bein\u2019 in bed all the time. I cain\u2019t say as I blame him fer that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNor me,\u201d Ben muttered, but he was listening closely.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAn\u2019 this must be a new experience fer Adam, too,\u201d Hoss went on. \u201cHe ain\u2019t hardly afraid o\u2019 nuthin\u2019, Pa, and it must\u2019ve shaken him ta his roots.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, of course, you\u2019re right,\u201d Ben agreed. Looking back, Adam had volunteered to take on the most dangerous jobs that had been going. Most of them weren\u2019t that dangerous, but there was always a risk of injury working on a ranch. Adam hadn\u2019t shirked any one of them. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t I see that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019 be sa hard on yerself, Pa,\u201d Hoss comforted him. \u201cYou\u2019ve bin right busy, what with Joe laid up an\u2019 all. An\u2019 \u2018sides, which o\u2019 us can see anythin\u2019 \u2018ceptin\u2019 what Adam wants us ta see?\u201d Hoss shook his head. \u201cThat big brother o\u2019 mine can sure pull the wool over our eyes when he don\u2019 want us knowin\u2019 he\u2019s hurtin\u2019!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShould I send for Adam?\u201d Ben asked. \u201cAsk him to come home?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNa, Pa, that wouldn\u2019 do no good,\u201d Hoss argued. \u201cWhen he gits back, Joe\u2019ll be on his feet agin an\u2019 the two o\u2019 \u2018em can fight it out a tween \u2018em.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot literally!\u201d Ben protested, aghast at the idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt might be what they need,\u201d Hoss remarked, philosophically.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s hope it doesn\u2019t come to that,\u201d Ben declared. \u201cAll right, Hoss, I\u2019ll take your advice.\u201d He smiled. \u201cIt must seem odd to you, that I\u2019m asking your advice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAw, shucks, Pa,\u201d Hoss replied, blushing. \u201cEveryone needs a little advice sometimes!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

At last the great day came when Paul Martin removed the cast from Joe\u2019s leg. His collarbone was healed, but the elbow still gave him a little trouble and Joe was still wearing his arm in a sling. \u201cCome on then,\u201d Paul coaxed. \u201cYou\u2019ve been dying to get walking around, so now\u2019s your chance.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe, his face alight with laughter, was already shoving his way up from the bed. Paul slipped an arm under his to help him, careful to stand on the left, should Joe need help. It was difficult for Joe to begin with, as the leg felt very odd and was stiff and weak. But Paul knew, with Joe\u2019s determination, he would soon be going around as though nothing had happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me have a look at that elbow, Joe,\u201d Paul said, as Joe sank down into a seat, victorious that he had hobbled the length of his bedroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, doc,\u201d Joe agreed, and watched with interest as Paul gently felt all around the joint, pressing here and there, noting Joe\u2019s reactions. Finally, he straightened the elbow, again watching for Joe\u2019s reaction and feeling the joint while he did it. \u201cI gather that\u2019s not too sore then?\u201d he asked, as he finished.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, there\u2019s not much pain at all,\u201d Joe agreed. \u201cIt\u2019s a little sore when you straighten it, but that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d Paul straightened up. \u201cI don\u2019t see why you can\u2019t go without the sling. Just be careful not to put too much weight on it for a while. Let me see it in another month, and we\u2019ll see how you\u2019re doing then. All right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d Joe nodded. \u201cWhen can I go riding again?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben made a disapproving noise, but Paul was grinning broadly. \u201cJoe Cartwright, push, push, push!\u201d he chided, laughing. \u201cGive it another couple of weeks and see how the ankle is. And I mean a couple of weeks!\u201d He waggled a warning finger under Joe\u2019s nose, but he could tell that Joe wasn\u2019t taking him seriously right then. But Ben would keep him under control. He hoped!<\/span><\/p>\n

It was good to see Joe smiling again, Ben thought as he came back into his son\u2019s room after seeing the doctor out. It was as though the sun had come out at the end of a storm. He found himself relaxing for the first time since Adam had left home. Joe was going to be all right. They could put this whole mess behind them.<\/span><\/p>\n

*******************<\/span><\/p>\n

His optimism did not survive the next day. A wire arrived from Adam, saying that he was coming home at last, his business in San Francisco completed at last. As Ben read out the good news, Joe\u2019s face lost its animation and he had back the quiet, sullen son who had inhabited the sickroom for the past weeks. Only yesterday, Joe had been on top of the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen d\u2019ya think Adam\u2019ll git here?\u201d Hoss asked, excitedly. He hadn\u2019t noticed Joe\u2019s stillness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gathering his scattered wits, Ben muttered, \u201cWell, the wire is dated yesterday, so I\u2019d say at the start of next week.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHot diggety!\u201d Hoss exclaimed and got up to get a snack from the kitchen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right, Joe?\u201d Ben ventured, at last.<\/span><\/p>\n

Blinking, as though coming back from a place far away, Joe smiled and nodded. \u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa,\u201d he replied. But the smile lacked its usual wattage and his voice was expressionless. He got to his feet and limped after Hoss, calling loudly, \u201cDon\u2019t eat all them cookies, Hoss!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Watching him go, Ben realized that the \u2018whole mess\u2019 was not behind them after all.<\/span><\/p>\n

********************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat ya doin\u2019, young\u2019un?\u201d Hoss asked, and Joe almost leapt his own height in the air. Turning he looked at Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does it look like I\u2019m doin\u2019?\u201d he demanded angrily. \u201cI\u2019m goin\u2019 riding!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo you ain\u2019t!\u201d Hoss stated, positively. \u201cJoe, you only got out a bed three days ago! You ain\u2019t ready ta go ridin\u2019!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m ready,\u201d Joe said, defiantly. \u201cGive me a hand with this saddle!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf\u2019n ya cain\u2019t lift yer own saddle, ya ain\u2019t fit ta go ridin\u2019!\u201d he declared flatly. Hoss crossed his arms and glared at Joe, who glared back, undaunted by his brother\u2019s ire.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine, I\u2019ll do it myself,\u201d Joe muttered, and slid his left arm under the saddle. He picked it up easily enough, but when it came to swinging it onto Cochise\u2019s back, it really needed two hands. Joe faltered and almost dropped the saddle. Hoss stepped in to help, unable to just stand back and watch his younger brother struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are ya goin\u2019?\u201d Hoss asked. \u201cWhat\u2019s the all-fire hurry about it? Pa ain\u2019t even up\u2026\u201d He hooked Joe with a look. \u201cYa thought ya\u2019d git away afore Pa was up ta stop ya,\u201d he accused. Joe didn\u2019t deny it. \u201cBut, Joe, why? What\u2019s happenin\u2019 that you have ta go out today?\u201d He stopped, for he suddenly knew what was happening. \u201cAdam\u2019s comin\u2019 home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cAdam\u2019s comin\u2019 home.\u201d He lifted his head and looked Hoss in the eye. \u201cI gotta go and meet him, Hoss. We ain\u2019t gonna get this sorted out between us if we don\u2019t do it alone. If I wait till Adam gets home, Pa will want to interfere and then nothing will get sorted. We\u2019ll still not be speaking to each other when we\u2019re 70!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou be careful out there!\u201d Hoss warned his brother. He knew Joe was right. As much as he longed to go with Joe to make sure he was okay, he couldn\u2019t do it. Joe and Adam had to sort this out between them. It had been hanging over their heads for more than long enough. \u201cCochise ain\u2019t bin out much, \u2018ceptin\u2019 in the corral.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCooch\u2019ll look after me,\u201d Joe replied, with assurance. His eyes sparkled with tears. He stepped into the stirrup and swung onto the horse. \u201cThanks, Hoss,\u201d he whispered before he rode slowly out of the barn and disappeared.<\/span><\/p>\n

*************************<\/span><\/p>\n

As he had expected, Ben went off in spectacular fashion. \u201cI\u2019m going to skin that boy alive when he gets home!\u201d Ben bellowed. \u201cHe was told not to ride for two weeks and you\u00a0helped<\/em>\u00a0him saddle his horse? What were you thinking of?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe an\u2019 Adam need ta do this alone, Pa,\u201d Hoss replied, miserably. He\u2019d known he would bear the brunt of Ben\u2019s anger and worry to begin with, but it didn\u2019t make it any easier. \u201cJoe\u2019s right, Pa. If\u2019n you\u2019d stepped in, Adam would\u2019ve agreed that they was all right, an\u2019 then they\u2019d never have bin all right. Ya gotta let them sort it out alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Ben whispered, subsiding suddenly onto a seat. \u201cBut I can\u2019t help worrying. Joe isn\u2019t fit to be out there riding.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be all right,\u201d Hoss assured him. \u201cJoe can take care o\u2019 himself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

***********************************<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time he\u2019d reached the point in the road where he\u2019d chosen to wait for Adam, Joe was exhausted. He slithered down from Cochise, tethered his horse so it could graze and sat down with his back against a tree.<\/span><\/p>\n

From here, Joe could look out over the lake. The road was high at that point, and Joe wasn\u2019t very keen on heights. But this was the place where all the roads met, so one way or another, he would meet Adam, and if Adam decided to avoid the roads, Joe could see for miles around.<\/span><\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t disappointed. About an hour after he had arrived, Joe heard hoof beats and rose unsteadily to his feet. Adam emerged from the trees a few moments after and drew rein as he saw Joe standing there waiting for him. His horse stopped and sidled around restlessly, until Adam heeled it into a walk and closed the gap between himself and Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

His brother looked like hell, Joe thought, studying Adam closely. He was unshaven and his black clothes were dusty from the trail. There were dark circles under his eyes which told Joe that his brother had not been sleeping any better than he had.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d Adam asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to talk,\u201d Joe told him. \u201cAdam, please get down so we can talk?\u201d He hadn\u2019t meant to beg, he thought bitterly, but whether it was the pleading note in Joe\u2019s voice or not, Adam slowly dismounted and tethered his horse beside Cochise.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want to say?\u201d Adam asked, looking out over the lake and walking a bit closer to the edge of the rampart.<\/span><\/p>\n

Following him, Joe walked round in front of Adam so he could see his brother\u2019s face clearly. \u201cI don\u2019t want to be afraid of you any more,\u201d he said, softly. \u201cAnd I don\u2019t want you to be afraid of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not afraid of you,\u201d Adam replied, his voice remote.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut you are!\u201d Joe cried. \u201cI saw it in your face that day. And I was afraid of you, but I didn\u2019t want to be!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou, afraid?\u201d Adam scoffed. \u201cYou\u2019re not afraid of anything, are you, Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I am,\u201d Joe denied. \u201cYou know I am, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe fearless Joe Cartwright,\u201d Adam went on, as though his brother had not spoken. \u201cThat\u2019s how you\u2019re known, you know. Everyone thinks you\u2019re not afraid of anything. We all have that reputation, because our pride doesn\u2019t allow us to back down from anything. It\u2019s a hard thing to live up to, you know, because we\u2019re all human.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d Joe replied, quietly. \u201cBut you\u2019ve always seemed so sure of everything, Adam. You always seemed to know what to do and if you were afraid, you didn\u2019t show it. I wanted to be like you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At that, Adam\u2019s eyes focused on Joe\u2019s face. \u201cBut that day showed me something, Joe. I still thought of you as a kid, but that day I realized that you were a man grown; strong, confident and a threat to someone smaller and weaker than you. I hit you in the barn because I was afraid, you know. I attacked to hide my fear. And I felt good when I saw you were afraid of me. Good, do you hear?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ashen faced, Joe said nothing. He just looked at Adam as all the pent-up feelings spewed out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd when I remembered, I felt so ashamed,\u201d Adam went on, his voice dropped now to a whisper. \u201cAnd when I finally plucked up the courage to come to see you, you flinched away from me, and I realized that\u00a0I<\/em>\u00a0had hurt you so badly!\u201d Adam suddenly sounded angry again.\u00a0 \u201cIt felt like your fault!\u201d he shouted and Joe took an involuntary step backwards.<\/span><\/p>\n

The ground beneath his feet shifted and the next moment, Joe was sliding down the rampart. He reached out wildly to save himself, and managed to catch hold of a scrubby bush growing there tenaciously. He scrambled for a foothold, but the ground just crumbled away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Adam was kneeling above him, his face chalk white. \u201cHang on, I\u2019ll help you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Panting, Joe hung on with both hands to his lifeline, which was slowly moving under his weight. His right arm began to ache. Sweat was making his hands slick, and Joe could only hope that he would hang on until Adam somehow managed to rescue him. Below him, the slope turned into a sheer drop and Joe knew he would not survive that fall.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGive me your hand, Joe!\u201d Adam called, appearing again above his brother. Joe didn\u2019t know what he had been doing, but he wasn\u2019t sure he could do as Adam asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026 afraid,\u201d he panted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam soothed. \u201cIts all right to be afraid, Joe. That\u2019s what I was going to tell you. It wasn\u2019t your fault I was afraid. It happens to everyone! I don\u2019t blame you, Joe, honestly.\u201d There was desperation in Adam\u2019s voice now. He could see that the little bush was coming out by the roots. \u201cJoe, please, take my hand! Please!\u201d he begged.<\/span><\/p>\n

Glancing up, Joe saw the fear on his brother\u2019s face and realized that Adam was afraid that he would die. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he gasped. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d Adam replied, still stretching his hand down towards Joe. \u201cPlease, Joe, take my hand!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Summoning all his courage, Joe let go of the bush with his left hand and reached to grab Adam\u2019s hand. He gripped Joe tightly, sliding his other hand up his brother\u2019s wrist. Joe did not flinch this time. He let go of the bush with his right hand and wrapped it around Adam\u2019s forearm. Slowly, oh so slowly, he was hauled up the rampart to safety.<\/span><\/p>\n

For a time, they just lay there, panting fiercely, trying to catch their breaths, neither able to speak. It was Adam, inevitably, who recovered first. \u201cAre you all right, Joe?\u201d he asked, for his brother was frighteningly pale.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHmm,\u201d Joe nodded. His whole body hurt, but he knew none of the hurts were serious. Just scrapes and bruises and a few strained muscles. \u201cThanks, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Roughly, Adam threw his arm around Joe and hugged him close. Joe reveled in his brother\u2019s warmth and closeness, throwing his own arm around Adam\u2019s shoulder in response.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get home,\u201d Adam suggested, as Joe began to shiver. The ground was damp, and Joe was done in. He helped the younger man to his feet, seeing that Joe really and truly was over his fear. \u201cAre you sure you\u2019re all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA bit sore, but all right,\u201d Joe assured him. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, after Pa has chewed my ears off, he\u2019ll likely get Doc Martin out to check me over. I\u2019m not supposed to be riding yet.\u201d He gave Adam his insouciant grin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy doesn\u2019t that surprise me?\u201d Adam asked, untangling the rope he had tied around his waist and secured to the horn of his saddle. He helped Joe to mount, although Joe didn\u2019t need the help.<\/span><\/p>\n

Together, they rode home. They both knew that they would never forget the incident that had led to their misunderstanding, but it was now in the past, and that was where it would stay.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Arriving home, Joe is astonished when Adam pulls a gun on him, claiming not to know him. Things go from bad to worse; until the break between brothers seems so wide it cannot be breached.<\/p>\n

Rated: \u00a0T \u00a0(10,810 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":375,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1091,23,41,32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-joe","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","category-mystery","wpcat-1091-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-32-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/coming-soon-5.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/45"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1536"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/375"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}