{"id":1539,"date":"2009-11-04T14:34:38","date_gmt":"2009-11-04T19:34:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1539"},"modified":"2026-07-29T11:40:39","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T15:40:39","slug":"is-this-a-fireplace-i-see-before-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1539","title":{"rendered":"Is This A Fireplace I See Before Me? (by the Giggly Sisters)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Ever wondered about the fireplaces in the bedrooms at the ranch? the Giggly Sisters turn their unique eye on them.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01900<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is This A Fireplace I See Before Me?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Giggly Sisters walked upstairs behind Joe, thinking how nice and taut his butt was. And how well his trousers fitted round it, even if they were a little short on length. Joe grinned at them, well aware of the direction their thoughts had taken. He flung open the door to his room and looked cautiously around before stepping inside. \u201cI was just seeing where the furniture was,\u201d he explained. \u201cIt moves, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

The girls looked round, seeing that the bed was where they had expected it to be. The room was large (ah these old houses!) and it was nice and warm. Outside, the snow was piled high, apart from where they girls and Joe had been building snowmen. There was a whole yard full of them now.<\/p>\n

The redhead struck a dramatic pose. \u201cIs this a fireplace I see before me?\u201d she intoned, and fell about laughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell what does it look like?\u201d Joe returned. \u201cOf course it\u2019s a fireplace. We\u2019d freeze to death otherwise!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but we do know of fans who hadn\u2019t noticed the existence of the fireplaces in your rooms,\u201d the blonde explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you not notice a fireplace?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cIt takes up a lot of room!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey hadn\u2019t watched The Stillness Within,\u201d the redhead said. \u201cOr, at least, they didn\u2019t pay enough attention to it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked thoughtful. \u201cI even spoke about the fireplace in that ep,\u201d he said. \u201cGosh, I was good in that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re good in everything,\u201d the blonde said, warmly.<\/p>\n

“Still,” the redhead said thoughtfully, noticing how the late afternoon sunlight bounced off Joe’s curls and trying very hard to concentrate, “This fireplace is a bit, well, how shall I put it?”<\/p>\n

“Basic?” the blonde supplied helpfully. “There’s a distinct lack of mantelpiece, isn’t there? It’s more a sort of glorified hole in the wall than an actual fireplace. Do you think it actually works?”<\/p>\n

Joe pondered the situation carefully. Now that came to think about it, he couldn’t remember a fire ever burning in the grate. Actually, come to that, he wasn’t entirely convinced there was a grate. He bent down to investigate further and the sisters sighed in unison as his pants tightened over the most perfect butt in Nevada.<\/p>\n

The blonde could bear it no longer. “Joe, have you ever noticed that when you wear your green jacket, your pants seem to get shorter?”<\/p>\n

Joe smiled knowingly. “Well, the seamstress in Virginia City spends ages on making sure all my pants fit just right across the butt, so I don’t really like to complain.” As ever, Joe had his priorities straight.<\/p>\n

The sisters looked around the room with interest.<\/p>\n

“This is a much nicer room than the one you had in the Truckee Strip!” announced the redhead, bouncing on the bed. “That was so sparse it looked like a prison cell.”<\/p>\n

Joe looked flustered. “Well, that was a strange episode,” he mumbled. “I even pulled a gun on Pa. And then my girl died. Having a pitchfork around isn\u2019t a good idea!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlue dress,\u201d the sisters chorused. \u201cAnd it was early.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou maimed jolly well in it,\u201d the blonde said, and heaved a big sigh.<\/p>\n

\u201cI maim well in all of them,\u201d Joe said, proudly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy was your dresser not up against a wall in Quality of Mercy?\u201d asked the redhead. \u201cWas there something on the camera side of it that you didn\u2019t want the viewers to see?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked thoughtful. \u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d he said, doubtfully. \u201cI thought there should be a wall there, but there wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what was that hideous brown dressing gown you wore in Song in the Dark?\u201d the blonde asked. \u201cIt looked like it had been handed down to you by a monk!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe pouted attractively. \u201cThat\u2019s hardly fair!\u201d he protested. \u201cAt least it\u2019s not as bad as that scary maroon one with the white facings that Pa wears!\u201d<\/p>\n

The girls had to agree with him there. They were only grateful that Ben always got dressed for breakfast: facing that satin monstrosity first thing in the morning was not a prospect either of them relished. Joe sat down and the sisters noticed how his trouser legs rode up even higher, almost exposing the top of his boots.<\/p>\n

The blonde walked slowly around the room, shivering slightly as she passed the picture of the extraordinarily ugly Indian, who appeared to be scowling at everyone.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho choose the pictures in this house anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. It was not a question he had ever given much thought to. The pictures were just there, and that was that. It was akin to wondering where the horns above the living room fireplace had come from (presumably a woolly mammoth, he thought) and why anyone in their right mind would think they were an ideal ornament. Plus, they were so high up, Joe wondered seriously if they were dusted more than once a year, if that. Perhaps he should have a little word with Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll families have their little foibles!\u201d he protested. \u201cLook at you: you\u2019ve got a bear for a pet.\u201d<\/p>\n

The redhead gave him a hard look. \u201cThat\u2019s hardly the same.\u201d She suddenly realised she hadn\u2019t seen Paw for sometime and hoped he was all right. A sudden bellow from downstairs told her he probably wasn\u2019t \u2026<\/p>\n

The blonde winced as the dulcet tones of Ben Cartwright reverberated throughout the house. He sounded as if he was shouting into the teeth of a force 9 gale and all the windows rattled ominously, while downstairs the shade of an oil lamp shattered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t call him the Voice of Canada for nothing,\u201d Joe confided. From upstairs it sounded as if Ben could broadcast to the whole of occupied Europe just by shouting.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat bear\u2019s destroyed my blanket!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe groaned. \u201cNot the Indian blanket! It was left there one day by accident and ever since then fanfic writers like to bring it into their stories as a bit of \u201clocal colour\u201d! We\u2019ve never liked to tell them it\u2019s really a rug.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s got a habit of moving about too,\u201d the redhead commented. \u201cAnd sometimes its not there at all. Is that when you have it on the floor somewhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe Hop Sing\u2019s washing it,\u201d Joe replied indifferently. \u201cMaybe we\u2019d better go and rescue Paw.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea,\u201d she agreed, and the headed out into the hall, which seemed to be a very odd shape, given the layout of the downstairs.<\/p>\n

The blonde stopped. \u201cWhich room is the bathtub in?\u201d she asked. \u201cYou know, the room that Calamity Jane used?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cErr,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cWe\u2019ve never actually seen that room again, although it was very useful. It\u2019s a pity we don\u2019t have an indoor outhouse \u2013 if you see what I mean,\u201d he went on, blushing becomingly. \u201cAll this messing about with chamber pots and trilling outside in the cold and wet\u2026\u201d He pulled an expressive face. \u201cIt\u2019s not very nice, I can tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd who get the thankless task of emptying the chamber pots?\u201d the redhead asked, darkly. \u201cIs that why Hop Sing never does any dusting? Because he has to empty the chamber pots? I know which I\u2019d prefer!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDusting!\u201d chorused the sisters, before falling about laughing. House work wasn\u2019t on the top of their \u2018to do\u2019 list in any century!<\/p>\n

There was the scramble of little paws, and Paw came racing into sight, and threw himself on Joe, cowering in his arms, looking back the way he had come. Moments later, they heard Pa\u2019s feet, as Ben came chasing after the innocent little furry creature.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat bear has to go!\u201d he bellowed, and they all winced. Ben\u2019s voice in the narrow hallway was overwhelming.<\/p>\n

“He’s like a son to me!” Joe protested and the girls ran forward to plead with Ben. Taking a step backwards, Ben banged into the table, which was making a special guest appearance in the hallway. The blonde noticed how bright the hall was, despite no obvious windows or skylights.<\/p>\n

“It’s too bad!” Ben fumed. “Just as we’re expecting guests for the weekend.”<\/p>\n

A worried expression crept across Joe’s unfeasibly handsome face and a curly lock of hair tumbled boyishly over his forehead. Although the Ponderosa appeared to have an abundance of guest bedrooms, for some strange reason visitors usually ended up staying in a room that bore an uncanny resemblance to his own bedroom. Joe was never quite sure where he slept on those occasions, but it sure hoped it wasn’t with Hoss. Not only did his middle brother take up most of the bed, he snored into the bargain.<\/p>\n

Ben just smiled indulgently at him and then caught sight of Paw once again. A myriad of possible uses for the bear suddenly struck him. Take that enormous monstrosity of a fireplace in the living room (and Ben often did, for it was completely hideous, dominated the entire ground floor of the ranch-house and, to add insult to injury, didn’t actually produce much in the way of heat). Paw was just the right size to scramble up the chimney and his shaggy, furry coat would sweep it perfectly. He would make an excellent foot warmer, on those cold, windy, winter nights, when a draft whistled under the door into the great room. He would make a superb duster for all sorts of hard-to-reach spots under the stairs.<\/p>\n

Joe took a firmer hold of Paw. \u201cForget it,\u201d he told Ben, sharply, and Ben wondered how Joe knew what he had been thinking. \u201cWho\u2019s coming for the weekend?\u201d he asked, hoping to distract Ben.<\/p>\n

It worked. Ben looked wildly around and began counting doors. \u201cDo we have enough rooms?\u201d he worried. \u201cI\u2019m sure it must be some long-lost friend or relation, but since I haven\u2019t seen them since before you were born, I really don\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Joe advised. \u201cI\u2019m sure there will be more than enough bedrooms. You could use the east bedroom. Nobody\u2019s been in it since Willow was here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApart from Hoss, in The Stillness Within,\u201d commented the redhead.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue,\u201d agreed the blonde. \u201cBut there\u2019s always the downstairs bedroom. Its very useful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben headed off back down the stairs, muttering to himself about bedrooms. He’d never been sure why Adam had insisted on building a bedroom situated between the dining area, front door and the kitchen. He seriously doubted if anyone staying there could possibly get a peaceful night’s sleep.<\/p>\n

Adam sat back in his favourite blue velvet chair and proudly surveyed his very first architectural endeavour. He smiled thinly as he looked at all the cunning innovations he had managed to incorporate into the design. There were always people coming and going in the ranch house, but his clever designs ensured that no-one stayed very long. It was just too inconvenient and confusing for most people. Now, if only he cold think of some way to persuade the sisters to leave and take that bear with them \u2026<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Ever wondered about the fireplaces in the bedrooms at the ranch? the Giggly Sisters turn their unique eye on them.<\/p>\n

Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01900<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}