{"id":15599,"date":"2017-11-02T20:18:27","date_gmt":"2017-11-03T00:18:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15599"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:41:01","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:41:01","slug":"conversations-by-psw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15599","title":{"rendered":"Conversations (by PSW)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: A series of utterly random, (hopefully) humorous conversations written as responses to Pinecone Challenges this year.\u00a0 I have bolded the prompts within the body of the story, then listed them all at the end.<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: K\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Word Count<\/strong>: 4051<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Conversations<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel \u2026 Ohhhhh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 You might\u2019ve \u2026 had a little too much last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t \u2026 what happened last night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould I be askin\u2019 you if I did?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 No, guess not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo \u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 you was feelin\u2019 down over Bessie Sue takin\u2019 up with that Hargrove fella.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadblamed Melvin Hargrove.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, but what does that have ta do with anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou needed a night out to forget it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t remember thinkin\u2019 that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you did.\u00a0 Need a night out, I mean.\u00a0 Not necessarily \u2026 think of it yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you enjoyed yourself.\u00a0 I made sure of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did, did you?\u00a0 Then how come I feel so dadburned awful?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow wait a minute!\u00a0 Before you \u2026 you accuse<\/em> me, take a look at yourself<\/strong>!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I think I got every right ta be accusin\u2019\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook!<\/em>\u00a0 Look at yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell dadblame it, Joe, I \u2026 why can\u2019t \u2026 wait a minute.\u00a0 Where are we?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re, uh \u2026 I\u2019m not exactly sure.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re out back of the livery stable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we doin\u2019 out here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re, uh \u2026 we\u2019re layin\u2019 here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are we layin\u2019 here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCause we can\u2019t go anywhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd why can\u2019t we \u2026\u00a0 Wait.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t I move my feet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny thing, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre my \u2026 are my feet mortared into a wall?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm \u2026 yeah.\u00a0 Mine too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are my feet mortared into a wall? <\/em>\u00a0Ohhhhh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMine too!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care about your<\/em> feet, Joseph!\u00a0 I wanna know why I\u2019m layin\u2019 in an alley behind the livery stable at\u2026 what time is it, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDunno.\u00a0 Almost morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt \u2018almost morning\u2019 with my head feelin\u2019 like a stage run over it and my feet in a wall!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not all my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou started the fight.\u00a0 I was just tryin\u2019 ta help you have a good time, is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you go all injured innocent on me, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just sayin\u2019\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?<\/em>\u00a0 Ohhhh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShh!\u00a0 You don\u2019t want anybody ta see us here like this, do ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 naw, I guess not.\u00a0 But dang it, Joe\u2014what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee \u2026 there was some of them bricklayers from the new bank playin\u2019 poker in the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026 Melvin Hargrove was with \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadblamed Melvin Hargrove.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 But, you had ta go over there and get loud.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDang right.\u00a0 I been datin\u2019 Bessie Sue for years \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026 things just kinda took off from there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh.\u00a0 Good fight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Real good fight.\u00a0 \u2018Cept \u2026 I guess we both went down, and when I woke up here we were with, uh \u2026 with our feet in a wall.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburned bricklayers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Do you think you can get us outa here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMortar can\u2019t be set yet.\u00a0 One thing I don\u2019t understand, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t been this drunk in forever.\u00a0 Can\u2019t understand how that happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2026..<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026\u00a0 I was tryin\u2019 to help you have a good time \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cRoy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen.\u00a0 Doc.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t seen you two in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t seem to get on top of the calls.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember the last time life got this crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I haven\u2019t been into town for \u2026 well, I\u2019m not even sure, between the rustlers and the lumber contract and Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe.\u00a0 Now, there\u2019s one adding to my list as well.\u00a0 Sit down, Roy, have a drink.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, I can\u2019t.\u00a0 I gotta get back to the jail before those kids in there kill each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThompson brothers again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me, the most they\u2019ll do is a black eye or bloody nose.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never even patched up a busted rib on any of the three\u2014not from each other, at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 you\u2019re probably right.\u00a0 I\u2019ll sit for a couple of minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, good.\u00a0 Sam!\u00a0 A beer for the sheriff!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many times is that, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRecently?\u00a0 Too many.\u00a0 Every time I turn around, them boys are bustin\u2019 up a saloon or knockin\u2019 somebody over or horseracin\u2019 backwards down C street.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBackwards?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep, this morning.\u00a0 Lou and the stagecoach almost killed each other.\u00a0 Thanks, Sam.\u00a0 Other two jumped in when the driver took exception.\u00a0 Got the whole lot of \u2018em locked up for disorderly conduct.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I need to stop by?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah.\u00a0 Coupla bruises is all.\u00a0 I\u2019d say it\u2019d be a good lesson, but those boys don\u2019t seem ta learn.\u00a0 I tell ya, Ben, they make Little Joe at his worst look like an angel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood grief, Roy, don\u2019t say that in front of Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEspecially not now.\u00a0 What part of \u2018stay off<\/em> the broken leg\u2019 doesn\u2019t Joe understand, Ben?\u00a0 Every time I come out, he\u2019s in the kitchen or the barn or\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t had time to ride herd on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe boy\u2019s nineteen\u2014you shouldn\u2019t have to!\u00a0 I know he understands plain English.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou also know Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly too well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s been camped out with the lumberjacks trying to meet our contract deadline, and Hoss is off with half the hands looking for rustlers.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been stretched thin with everything else.\u00a0 That leaves Joe to his own devices.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPutty in Joseph\u2019s hands.\u00a0 One pout and the man melts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll try to get out more often, but don\u2019t count on it.\u00a0 The Addison girl has croup and John Henderson\u2019s gout is acting up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have<\/em> to come out more often.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd let\u2019s not forget Widow Blaire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlice Blaire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe same.\u00a0 Stop laughing, Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Doc.\u00a0 But I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee how gentle I am next time you get shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with Alice Blaire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBunions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery evening about five thirty, she calls me out to look at them.\u00a0 Then she insists I stay for dinner\u2026\u00a0 Roy!\u00a0 Now, Ben, don\u2019t you start!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, she\u2019s \u2026 quite a woman, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho thinks the way to a man\u2019s heart is through her bunions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Howls of mirth.\u00a0 Even Paul chuckles wryly.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, gentlemen.\u00a0 If we weren\u2019t all crazy, we would go insane<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll drink to that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

“Yes, there are two paths you can go by. \u00a0But in the long run, there’s still time to change the road you’re on<\/strong>.”<\/p>\n

“What’s the point of havin’ two paths, then?”<\/p>\n

“What do you mean, what’s the point?”<\/p>\n

“What I mean, Adam, is that if ya can still switch paths after ya’ve been on the one for a while,\u00a0they run pretty close together, right?”<\/p>\n

“Well … yes.”<\/p>\n

“And neither one gets ya there any faster?”<\/p>\n

“Not really. \u00a0Unless the stream is up– the lower path washes out sometimes.”<\/p>\n

“Then what’s the point of havin’ two paths?”<\/p>\n

“Well… if the lower path washes out, you need to be able to switch to the upper.”<\/p>\n

“But\u00a0why even have the lower\u00a0at all?”<\/p>\n

“It’s closer to the stream.”<\/p>\n

“So?”<\/p>\n

“If you need to fill\u00a0canteens or water\u00a0horses, you need to be down by the stream.”<\/p>\n

“So that’s why you’d take the lower path.”<\/p>\n

“It’s one reason, yes.”<\/p>\n

“But the stream crosses the upper\u00a0a ways down the road.”<\/p>\n

“Yes…”<\/p>\n

“So again, why even have that lower\u00a0path?”<\/p>\n

“We get rock slides up here, you know.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah?”<\/p>\n

“The upper path is more likely to be blocked in the spring, after we haven’t been through for a while.”<\/p>\n

“So, if it was blocked, then you’d want ta move down to the lower.”<\/p>\n

“Right.”<\/p>\n

“And leave the next person\u00a0ta clear off the upper.”<\/p>\n

“Hoss …”<\/p>\n

“Is that why I keep havin’ ta clear this path every time I make a\u00a0trip through? \u00a0‘Cause you just switch on down to the lower\u00a0and leave it for the next fella?”<\/p>\n

“Hoss …”<\/p>\n

“That’s pretty low, Adam. \u00a0I wouldn’ta thought it of ya.”<\/p>\n

“I don’t … all right, I don’t always stop to clear the upper path. \u00a0But–”<\/p>\n

“All’s I’m sayin’ is that it don’t make sense for us ta upkeep two different paths out here. \u00a0It ain’t like we get out this way so all-fire much.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, but … we do still make this run three or four\u00a0times a year.”<\/p>\n

“So we should have one path that we know is gonna get us where we need ta go, instead of two ya have ta keep switchin’ back and forth on.”<\/p>\n

“All right. \u00a0Where do you plan to build this new path?”<\/p>\n

“Why are you askin’ me? \u00a0You’re the engineer.”<\/p>\n

“But … I don’t have a problem with the two path system.”<\/p>\n

“Ya should. \u00a0It ain’t efficient.”<\/p>\n

“Not … efficient. \u00a0But, the existing paths already … exist.”<\/p>\n

“So?”<\/p>\n

“If they’re already doing the job,\u00a0why build a new one? \u00a0Even if you do have to switch back and forth sometimes?”<\/p>\n

“Well, if you don’t want ta be efficient …”<\/p>\n

“Hoss, that makes no sense.”<\/p>\n

“What don’t make sense is you switchin’ back and forth\u00a0when we could just have one.”<\/p>\n

“Hoss?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, Adam?”<\/p>\n

“Go to sleep.”<\/p>\n

“But we ain’t washed the dinner dishes yet.”<\/p>\n

“I don’t care.”<\/p>\n

“Ya sure?”<\/p>\n

“Absolutely.”<\/p>\n

“All right. \u00a0If you say so.”<\/p>\n

“I do. \u00a0Good night.”<\/p>\n

A yawn, a snicker, and a sigh of deep content.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Night, Adam.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Four<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHey fellas.\u00a0 Whatcha doin\u2019 up here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooking for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss.\u00a0 You been out here alone long enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t doin\u2019 no good just sittin\u2019.\u00a0 But \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadgummit, fellas, I really thought she was the one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo did we all, little brother.\u00a0 So did we all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSweet as honey, purty as a rose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeemed like a nice girl, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFloated like a butterfly, but stung like a bee when she got riled.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe would have been a fine addition to the Ponderosa, if …\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah \u2026\u00a0 Who\u2019da thought?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one could have guessed, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot me, for sure.\u00a0 I mean … how many sock puppets did they find in her room?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cForty-two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cForty-two sock puppets.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was a narrow escape, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t gotta tell me!\u00a0 Three days, and we woulda been hitched!\u00a0 Can you imagine, all them puppets always starin\u2019 at a body?\u00a0 Gives me the willies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid she really have one of each of us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHad one of half the town.\u00a0 Yers even had a little left-hand gun, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that was good of her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe always did like you real well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d she like Joe?\u00a0 Well look at him, Adam.\u00a0 He\u2019s awful durn cute, ain\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy the sock puppets<\/em>, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u00a0 Ya know\u2026 I don\u2019t rightly know.\u00a0 She never did say.\u00a0 But she apparently spent an awful lot o\u2019 time in there, talkin\u2019 to \u2018em and all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGosh, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah \u2026 I guess every rose has its thorn<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust like every night has its dawn<\/strong>, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure enough, Little Joe \u2026 sure enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat reminds me, Adam.\u00a0 Eddie Parker\u2019s been here for almost two weeks now, and you ain\u2019t got his song assigned yet.\u00a0 How\u2019s he going to join in on the cattle drive?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, I know.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had a lot going on, with the fire out at the mill and the flooded creek.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the sock puppet girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u00a0 The sock puppet girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, boys, I don\u2019t know why I thought this one would work out.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t none of \u2018em before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we can\u2019t give up, brother.\u00a0 Surely one of us, someday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 I know we gotta keep on.\u00a0 But it\u2019s just hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss \u2026 we\u2019re here for you, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re all<\/em> here for each other<\/em>, Adam.\u00a0 I got your back too, ya know.\u00a0 Even after that thing with\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t<\/em> say it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 You\u2019re prob\u2019ly right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019m right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFellas, can we get out of the hayloft now?\u00a0 I think Pa\u2019s startin\u2019 ta get antsy about chores.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, and Hop Sing\u2019ll be mad if we\u2019re not in for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou comin\u2019 back tomorrow, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know.\u00a0 Maybe.\u00a0 I tell ya though, boys, it\u2019s sure been a whole heap easier since we decided on the hayloft \u2018stead of some month long trek through the mountains or the woods after these things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight!\u00a0 Who\u2019s got time for that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot us.\u00a0 It\u2019s a working ranch, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoys!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClimb faster, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Five<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re \u2026 Aw, Adam, do I really gotta say it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss, you really gotta.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut how come?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m the director, and I say so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t no fancy title gonna make me say such a plumb fool\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s in the script.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly.\u00a0 Ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 But \u2026 dadburn it.\u00a0 You\u2019re \u2026 you\u2019re walkin\u2019 a \u2026 Well, it don\u2019t have<\/em> ta be in the script, do it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 Already.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell yeah, but \u2026 don\u2019t we got liberty license, or some such?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLiberty \u2026 license?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa know!\u00a0 When ya change stuff cause ya need to for the story.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u00a0 Literary<\/em> license.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it!\u00a0 Well, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t \u2026 think so.\u00a0 Not this time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, do you want to be the one to tell Abigail Jones\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMyers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbigail Myers<\/em>, then \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa know she gets right aggravated if ya forget.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is<\/em> the truth \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t figure it\u2019d be so hard for you ta remember, seein\u2019 as how you were the one\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you needn\u2019t remind me.\u00a0 I remember it quite well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa better call her Abigail Myers, then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u00a0 Do you want to be the one to tell Abigail Myers<\/em> you took literary license with her script?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, dadblame <\/em>it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought so.\u00a0 Come on, now. \u00a0We\u2019re wasting time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re \u2026 you\u2019re walkin\u2019 a line\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLine, wire.\u00a0 What\u2019s the difference?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne rhymes.\u00a0 The other\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDang fool play.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for charity, Hoss.\u00a0 Try to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, and that\u2019s the only<\/em> reason I\u2019m standin\u2019 up there and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine.\u00a0 You\u2019re \u2026 you\u2019re walkin\u2019 a wire<\/em> between pain an\u2019 desire \u2026 But it sounds plumb ridiculous!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, why don\u2019t he just say, \u2018Joe, you an\u2019\u2014\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStoddard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s Stoddard, not Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of a dang fool name is\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my<\/em> name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah.\u201d \u00a0Snicker<\/em>.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t really<\/em> suppose\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve already had this conversation.\u00a0 I\u2019m not having it again.\u00a0 Abigail J\u2014Myers<\/em> did not<\/em> name her leading character after me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIffn ya say so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u00a0 Well, then why don\u2019t he just say, \u2018Stoddard, you and that little gal are no good for\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s not in the script!<\/em>\u00a0 This paper<\/em> with\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa don\u2019t need ta get testy, Adam.\u00a0 If ya want me ta stick to the\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do!\u00a0 Want you to!\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, then.\u00a0 You\u2019re \u2026 you\u2019re walkin\u2019 a wire between pain an\u2019 desire, and lookin\u2019 for \u2026\u00a0 Think she\u2019ll come by an\u2019 scold ya if I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do <\/em>you think?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSimmer down, older brother!\u00a0 Sheesh.\u00a0 I got it.\u00a0 Here, listen.\u00a0 You\u2019re walkin\u2019 a wire between pain an\u2019 desire, and lookin\u2019 for love in between<\/strong>.\u00a0 See?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, why was that so hard?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa seen Joe \u2026 I mean, Stoddard\u2019s<\/em> next line?\u201d<\/p>\n

Papers shuffle.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOhhh \u2026 Maybe I\u2019ll get attacked by Indians on the way home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRustlers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA crazed madman looking for vengeance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEscaped prisoners.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything<\/em> would be better than this \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Six<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u00a0 What\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Roy, I done caught me a coupla shoplifters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShoplifters?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, comin\u2019 out o\u2019 the\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow wait just a minute!\u00a0 We was gonna\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014general store with a coupla knives and a whole passel o\u2019\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmos Tate!\u00a0 You swore<\/em> ta me you was goin\u2019 straight!\u00a0 Just last week, you said\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff, we didn\u2019t do it!\u00a0 I\u2019m tellin\u2019 ya, we\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s we?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 I don\u2019t rightly remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t remember?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u00a0 I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you recognize the other one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t anybody I knew.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, wait here while I lock this one up.\u00a0 I\u2019ll come back for a description.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff!\u00a0 It\u2019s my word against his, and I say we didn\u2019t do no such\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Amos.\u00a0 Just get on in there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gonna believe him over me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I really gotta answer that?\u00a0 Hoss, you gotta description?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now \u2026 see, it happened pretty fast.\u00a0 Weren\u2019t much time ta get too many details.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan ya give me anything?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t do<\/em> it, Sheriff!\u00a0 He don\u2019t know because we didn\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou was gonna mail yer payment in, was that it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess he was about Adam\u2019s height.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you always gotta believe the worst about me, Sheriff?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo many reasons ta count, Amos.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s height, Hoss?\u00a0 That all?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one knows what it\u2019s like ta be the bad man<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPipe down back there!\u00a0 And stop rattlin\u2019 them bars!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTa be the sad man behind<\/strong>\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlue eyes<\/strong>!\u00a0 He had blue eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, Adam\u2019s height with blue eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell Hoss, that could be half the men in the Territory.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t you got anything<\/em> else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways bein\u2019 misunderstood \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was \u2026 well Roy, I was too busy collarin\u2019 Amos here!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have time ta be gettin\u2019 shirt sizes and such on the other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one ever believin\u2019 a word I say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmos!<\/em>\u00a0 Well Hoss \u2026 look, how long are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNother coupla hours.\u00a0 Joe wants ta get a drink, and ya know once he gets goin\u2019 it ain\u2019t gonna\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI<\/em> was gonna get a drink.\u00a0 Just sit there, mind my own\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, go on then.\u00a0 If you think of anything, stop back on your way out.\u00a0 If I\u2019m not here, I\u2019ll be down talkin\u2019 ta Bert Tanner.\u00a0 Did he<\/em> see anything, at least?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoubt it.\u00a0 He were in back with Mrs. Lincoln.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was in back<\/em> with\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!<\/em>\u00a0 Dadburn it, Roy!\u00a0 Not back<\/em> back.\u00a0 Just in the back, lookin\u2019 at sugar and such.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSugar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, sugar!<\/em>\u00a0 Now you just hold on.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t gonna have that little gal thinkin\u2019 I been spreadin\u2019\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell Hoss, you just said\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee, Sheriff!\u00a0 Hoss can\u2019t be trusted!\u00a0 He can\u2019t even\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmos, you either stay\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014outa this, or you tell me about your friend.\u00a0 I\u2019m\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014tired o\u2019 havin\u2019 you in here ever\u2019 other weekend for\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, <\/em>Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat guy out on the street just dropped a whole bunch o\u2019 pocketknives \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Seven<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah \u2026 but let\u2019s do it<\/strong>!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on, Joe!\u00a0 There has to be some other way.\u00a0 You can\u2019t possibly expect me to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean<\/em>, why not?\u00a0 You said we were in this together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did say that.\u00a0 And I meant it, because it was partly my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least half.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u00a0 It was at least half my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t push it, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, but if you\u2019re too proud of your shiny, perfect image to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWatch it, kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019ll do it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for Hoss<\/em>, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know.\u00a0 I just \u2026 all right.\u00a0 But \u2026 Calm down!\u00a0 That\u2019s the only<\/em> reason, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I<\/em> would do this if it were for anybody else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019d do it if a stranger off the street walked up and gave you half a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHa!\u00a0 Well \u2026 okay, maybe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do I get myself into these things?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s gonna be great, Adam.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019ll really appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019d better.\u00a0 Because I still think it\u2019s a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you wanna be the reindeer or the elf?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre those \u2026 are those my only choices?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 there\u2019s Mrs. Claus, but I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d wanna be\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!<\/em>\u00a0 No, you\u2019re right.\u00a0 A reindeer or an elf will be \u2026 fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you should be the elf.\u00a0 You\u2019re better at singing than I am, so\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, wait.\u00a0 Who said anything about singing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Adam \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what does that have to do with being an elf?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can sing while you hand out the toys and stuff.\u00a0 The costume might be a little\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat!?<\/em>\u00a0 NO.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it wasn\u2019t made for\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re kidding me, right?\u00a0 This is some sort of joke.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, they\u2019ll love it!\u00a0 Abigail Jones said last year that\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be the reindeer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReindeer, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do this, but there\u2019s no way I\u2019m going to put that<\/em> on and sing while I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe reindeer\u2019s gotta pull Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat definitely<\/em> leaves you out, Little<\/em> Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBesides, you\u2019d make a far better elf than me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell \u2026 I guess Cindy May Carson\u2019ll probably be a whole lot more willin\u2019 ta snuggle up with an elf than a reindeer around the bonfire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee, there you go.\u00a0 Where\u2019s the reindeer costume?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s \u2026 here it is.\u00a0 It\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat?<\/em>\u00a0 I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Adam\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, never mind.\u00a0 I said I\u2019d do it, and I will.\u00a0 But \u2026 how am I supposed to balance with that<\/em> on my head?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you\u2019re pullin\u2019 Hoss, see?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026 ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be leanin\u2019 forward.\u00a0 Like this, right?\u00a0 It\u2019ll help keep you movin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re joking, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook!\u00a0 You said you\u2019d\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u00a0 And I will.\u00a0 Give me that thing.\u00a0 But next time \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNext time what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNext time I don\u2019t care if both<\/em> his legs are broken and I\u2019m wholly<\/em> to blame.\u00a0 He can ride in a wagon behind a horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSanta doesn\u2019t drive a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe<\/em> \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eight<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

“Roy!\u00a0 What are you doing out this way?”<\/p>\n

“Afternoon, Ben.\u00a0 I’d love to say this is a social call, but it ain’t.”<\/p>\n

“Oh?\u00a0 Well, what can I do for you?”<\/p>\n

“Not a thing.\u00a0 But there was an incident outside town earlier.\u00a0 Remember those\u2014”<\/p>\n

“An incident?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, but don’t worry, Ben.\u00a0 There’s no\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Joseph!”<\/p>\n

“What?”<\/p>\n

“How is he, Roy?\u00a0 He’s still recovering from that kidnapping last week, he doesn’t need another\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Now, Ben.\u00a0 Just wait.\u00a0 I never said anything about\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Hop Sing just ordered a fresh supply of bandages and herbs.\u00a0 We should be good there.\u00a0 I don’t\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Ben!\u00a0 Will you just stop for a second!\u00a0 Hoss\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Yes, Hoss.\u00a0 We’ll need him to carry his brother upstairs when they get here.\u00a0 Are<\/em> they coming out here, or do I need to go in to Doc Martin’s?”<\/p>\n

“Ben, the doc didn’t even hafta\u2014”<\/p>\n

“But … Joe wasn’t even supposed to be in town today.\u00a0 Are you sure\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Ben, I never\u00a0said\u00a0<\/em>anything about Joe.\u00a0 I\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Oh,\u00a0Adam<\/em>!<\/em>\u00a0 My boy.\u00a0 I\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Adam’s fine.\u00a0 You\u2014”<\/p>\n

“What was it this time?\u00a0 Another madman?\u00a0 Another friend turned against him?\u00a0 I worry for him, Roy.\u00a0 He’s already restless, I worry this will\u2014”<\/p>\n

“You remember those two hands Hoss fired last month?\u00a0 Well, they\u2014”<\/p>\n

“He has job offers.\u00a0 Did you know that?\u00a0 In several cities.\u00a0 Any more problems like the ones he’s\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Ben, focus!\u00a0 Those two\u2014”<\/p>\n

“It’s\u00a0both\u00a0<\/em>of them?\u00a0 Not again …\u00a0\u00a0Sometimes I don’t think my heart can take it.\u00a0 I’ll set up a cot in one of the rooms so Hoss and I don’t have to\u2014”<\/p>\n

“… hands caught up with Hoss outside of town.\u00a0 They\u2014”<\/p>\n

“You’re right.\u00a0 Hoss is always my right hand, in these situations.”<\/p>\n

“… tried to\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Roy, now I think I understand how the world can overcome a man<\/strong>.\u00a0 So much pain and fear, so many kidnappings and shootings.\u00a0 I don’t see how\u2014”<\/p>\n

“… bushwack him, but they got too close and Hoss managed to get his hands on ’em.\u00a0 He\u2014”<\/p>\n

“… either of them are still sane, after all of it.\u00a0 Did you say I needed to go in to Doc Martin’s?\u00a0 I’ll get Buck saddled and\u2014”<\/p>\n

“No!\u00a0 Ben, you don’t need to go anywhere.\u00a0 Hoss brought those two cowpunchers in, and I came out to have you sign a complaint about\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Doc’s on his way out, then?\u00a0 Should I get the spare room ready, or\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Nobody’s hurt, Ben!\u00a0 Nobody!\u00a0 Hoss bruised up his knuckles, is all.\u00a0 You got the brandy close by?\u00a0 Seems to me you\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Wait, Roy.\u00a0\u00a0Nobody?<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“That’s what I’ve been tryin’ ta tell you!\u00a0 Ain’t nobody hurt this time.”<\/p>\n

“But Roy, I\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Let’s go get a drink, Ben, and I’ll start from the beginning.”<\/p>\n

“Nobody’s hurt.”<\/p>\n

“Nope.\u00a0 I\u2014”<\/p>\n

“Roy, wait.\u00a0 Did you … I don’t understand.\u00a0 Did you say they were after\u00a0Hoss?<\/em> That can\u2019t be right \u2026”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Prompts:<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

1) Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself.\u00a0 ~~Bo Diddley<\/strong><\/p>\n

2) <\/strong>If we weren\u2019t all crazy we would go insane. ~~Jimmy Buffett<\/strong><\/p>\n

3)<\/strong> Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there’s still time to change the road you’re on. ~~Led Zepplin<\/strong><\/p>\n

4) <\/strong>Every rose has its thorn just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song. ~~Poison<\/strong><\/p>\n

5) <\/strong>You\u2019re walking a wire between pain and desire, and looking for love in between.\u00a0 ~~The Eagles<\/strong><\/p>\n

6) <\/strong>No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes. ~~Peter Townsend of The Who<\/strong><\/p>\n

7) <\/strong>That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea.\u00a0 Let\u2019s do it.\u00a0 ~~Random BoNaNo prompt from Cheaux<\/strong><\/p>\n

8) <\/strong>Now I think I understand how the world can overcome a man. ~~Avenged Sevenfold<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Ben Cartwright,\u00a0Hoss Cartwright,\u00a0Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright,\u00a0Paul Martin,\u00a0Roy Coffee<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: A series of utterly random, (hopefully) humorous conversations written as responses to Pinecone Challenges this year.<\/p>\n

Rating: K\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Word Count: 4051<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10468,"featured_media":11263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[4,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-challenges","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-40-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/normal_Leprechauns3.jpg?fit=400%2C300&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10468"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15599"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15599\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11263"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}