Summary: April Christopher has contracted rabies from a bite from a rabid wolf. Now more than just a dear friend, Ben is committed to being by her side for her horrific final days.\u00a0A WHI for the season 12 episode “A Time to Die”.<\/p>\n
Rating: K+\u00a0 Word Count: 5,055<\/p>\n
The Greatest of These\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Chapter 1<\/b><\/p>\n Ben remained at April’s side, just as he had promised her. Despite her resistance, he refused to let her face the terrible sickness alone. Once the grip of rabies took its hold on April, Doctor Phelps also kept his word to Ben and sedated the deteriorating woman with morphine only allowing her brief periods of consciousness. During these times, Ben would work diligently to force April to take small amounts of broth laced with an herbal tea that Hop Sing made and had delivered to the Virginia City Hospital. It was agonizing for Ben to witness the crazed, haunted look in April’s eyes every four to six hours when she woke from her drug-induced sleep as the morphine wore off. After each injection, the thrashing and panting would subside as the medication took effect, but the sight of April lying with her hands bound together to keep her from flailing and lessen the risk of her scratching her attendants was excruciating for Ben. With the help of a nurse, he would prop April on her side to decrease the likelihood of her choking on her secretions. Ben read poetry and comforting passages of scripture to her during the quiet hours with no certainty that April could even sense his presence. He held her hand, stroked her cheek, and declared his love for her. Though Dr. Phelps knew of no one that had ever recovered from rabies, the physician did not interfere with Ben’s tender ministrations except to remind him to take extreme care when April was awake. The doctor ached for Ben as he watched him encourage the once vibrant woman to fight the horrendous disease and not give up their hope of having a future together. This went on for three days. On the fourth day following an early morning administration of the morphine, the doctor informed Ben that he thought the end was near. Ben’s head dropped in resignation. Dr. Phelps placed a comforting hand on his friend’s arm before taking his leave.<\/p>\n April Christopher and her husband Paul had been neighbors of the Cartwrights before Paul’s work took him to San Francisco. Several years after Paul’s untimely death, April desired a fresh start and returned to the Virginia City area to build a new home. Ben had enthusiastically agreed to supervise the project for the attractive widow. The chemistry that had always existed between them, but propriety had never allowed them to encourage, began to grow into an unspoken love. It was during her stay with the Cartwrights that April was attacked by a wolf while Jamie and her were discussing the construction of a temporary coop for her chickens. Following the attack, Jamie struggled with tremendous guilt and shame due to his inability to protect the woman who he had quickly grown quite fond of. Ben hunted down the wolf and sent the carcass off to be tested. Though he did all he could to give April hope, her increasingly irrational behavior and eventual fear of water dashed those hopes even before the report finally came that confirmed that the wolf had been rabid. With the realization that her death was eminent, April encouraged her daughter, Lori, to marry her fiancee without delay in San Francisco. The couple was to then stop in Virginia City before making their move to Boston for his employment. Dr. Phelps made the arrangements for April to spend her remaining days on earth at the hospital in Virginia City and now it appeared that the ordeal would soon be over.<\/p>\n Once the medication had calmed April’s convulsive fits, the nurse helped Ben position the dying woman on her side, and then left them alone after she was given instructions to return only when called. Ben sat down heavily. His hands clenched into fists before he gently placed them over April’s. He fingered her restraints with great sadness of heart.<\/p>\n Slowly he lowered his head until it came to rest on their joined hands. “We could have been so happy together. You are the breath of fresh air that I needed. Just like a lovely spring day, my beautiful April.” He brought forth a deep sigh before continuing. “I know you are tired, my darling, and that you would stay if you could.” Ben swallowed hard and there was a catch in his normally velvety smooth voice. “I love you, April…I always will.” Ben paused and the tone of his voice changed from gentle to pleading. “Why? Why, Lord, must you take every woman I love? No! Not just take them, wrench them away in such a painful and horrible way. Where is your love? Where Lord? I believe you are there. Please help me understand. Please!”<\/p>\n Sobs racked Ben’s body. So distraught in his grief, he did not feel the almost imperceptible movement of April’s fingers or see the faint flicker of her eyelids.<\/p>\n Doctor Phelps returned to the hospital around noon, slightly past the time that April’s next dose of morphine would have been due. He found Ben seated with his head still resting on April’s hands. Neither Ben nor April moved or responded in any way when Phelps closed the door loud enough to be heard. Tears began to build in the doctor’s eyes thinking that April had passed. He took a deep breath and bolstered his professional persona before giving Ben’s shoulder a firm squeeze. So utterly exhausted from several days of little sleep and the emotional upheaval of his constant vigil, it took a moment for the fog to clear from Ben’s sleep-filled head.<\/p>\n “Was there a great struggle?” Phelps asked with gentleness.<\/p>\n “No..no struggle…I think she’s just slipped away.” Ben whispered blandly, his emotions now played out.<\/p>\n Phelps instinctively placed his fingers on April’s wrist. Expecting to feel nothing and then pull the sheet up over April’s head, he was shocked to feel a faint but definitely present pulse. The doctor lifted April’s eyelid and saw the slightest constriction of her pupil. He felt her forehead and could no longer detect any sign of fever. There was a tightening in the doctor’s chest as he let out an uncomfortable breath. Ben was too spent, physically and emotionally, to catch the change in Phelps’ demeanor. Based on all his reading and experience with rabies, the doctor found April’s current condition to be far from the norm for one who was suffering from the disease. Patients would suffocate from their own secretions. It was a traumatic, painful, and ugly process, none of which seemed to be happening with April. Dr. Phelps was in a quandary. He would now be forced to render a medical opinion from which he had no basis to work and which could also appear as a very cruel joke to a friend who thought that the love of his life had passed on.<\/p>\n “Ben.” The doctor waited briefly seeking his friend’s full attention. “Ben.” Finally, Ben looked up at Phelps. “I don’t understand it…but April is still alive.”<\/p>\n “What?” Ben’s face was awash with disbelief. His head jerked to look upon April’s unmoving body and then back to the doctor.<\/p>\n “I can’t explain it. It goes against everything I’ve read and seen. I don’t want to give you too much hope. It’s still too early to say. April has taken in so little fluid over the past few days. It will be impossible for her body to last much longer without water. Either she will wake up soon and take fluids or she truly will be gone.”<\/p>\n Ben squinted trying to take in all that Phelps had said. He rose stiffly, a bit unsteady from spending so many hours in his chair. Ben’s eyes bore down on the shorter man. He grasped the doctor by the shoulders. “But you do think there is still hope that she could pull through?”<\/p>\n “Tiny as a mustard seed…but yes, I believe there is hope.”<\/p>\n Ben turned to place his palm against April’s cheek and spoke. “Faith…as a mustard seed.” His eyes rose toward the ceiling as the tears began to run down his cheeks. Ben ran his hand down April’s arm and lightly caressed it before turning back to Dr. Phelps. “Should we try to rouse her? I mean, how long can we afford to wait before at least trying to get her drink something?”<\/p>\n “Honestly Ben, I’m not sure. Something in me says that her body is making a serious effort to heal itself. Let’s give her a few more hours and see what happens. If by later this afternoon she still is not awake, then we shall have take some measures to help.”<\/p>\n Ben nodded. “Then we’ll wait.”<\/p>\n Chapter 2<\/b><\/p>\n Word about April’s survival soon reached the Ponderosa, and by late afternoon Hoss, Joe, and Jamie arrived at the hospital. They brought their father a fresh change of clothes and more of Hop SIng’s tea. What they found both surprised and frightened them. Ben was sitting partially on the bed supporting the still bound April in a semi-upright position as the nurse spooned water between the weak woman’s barely parted lips. The Cartwright sons and Jamie stood in silence while they watched the painfully slow process. Though her mouth accepted the water without issue, April’s vacant eyes stared out into the room. Eventually her head began to list to the side exhausted from only a few minutes of very minor exertion.<\/p>\n “Thank you Miss Collins. Though I wish Mrs. Christopher would take more, I think that is all she can manage for now. My sons are here now and they can give me assistance if I need it.”<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe moved toward their father as the nurse closed the door behind them. Jamie hung back having not seen April since the day she had left the Ponderosa. The extreme change in her countenance, her loss of vitality, and the restraints on her wrists made the lad uncomfortable and on the verge of bolting from the room. He turned to face the door wringing his hat in his nervous hands. Ben whispered for Hoss to take his place supporting April and then moved to comfort the young man he thought of as a son.<\/p>\n “Jamie.” The teen quickly swiped at the tears that were running down his cheeks. Ben gripped the top of the boy’s shoulders trying to comfort and work out some the obvious tension Jamie was feeling. “Yes, it has been very rough these past few days, but it’s no more your fault than anyone else’s.” Jamie turned suddenly and threw himself into Ben’s chest. Ben placed a large hand on Jamie’s unruly red waves. “She’s alive and appears to have the will to live. At this point, that is more than Dr. Phelps or I would have ever thought possible.” Jamie looked up at Ben with tear-filled eyes. “We are going to hope and pray for the best, but only time will tell.”<\/p>\n Jamie gave an embarrassed nod and Ben encouraged him to move in closer to the bed. Hoss helped his father position April on her side and cover her with a sheet and blanket. As painful as it was to do, they would keep the restraints on until Dr. Phelps deemed it safe to do otherwise. April’s eyes went closed within moments. Ben checked her pulse. Satisfied with the result, he tenderly pushed back some stray locks of hair off her face.<\/p>\n Joe looked on April with pity. “Does she even know that we are here?”<\/p>\n “It’s difficult to say just how much awareness she has, but something is there. When she woke, she brought her hands up to her mouth. At least her body seems to have some basic sense of what she needs, but she hasn’t spoken a word and she looks right through you with those empty eyes.” Ben finished with a long sigh.<\/p>\n This was April’s state when Lori and her new husband arrived in Virginia City. Lori had feared her mother would pass before she could return. She had prepared for that, but she was not prepared to find a living woman who did not even respond to her daughter’s presence. The newlyweds remained in town for a few days, but then they had no choice but to leave April in Ben’s care and head to Boston with the promise of frequent updates about her condition.<\/p>\n Physically April did begin to improve in small increments. She would drink and eat small amounts when helped. She was able to sit up for longer periods and eventually walk about the room with assistance. She did not resist those helping her, but April’s expression remained flat, her eyes lifeless, and her voice mute. She did not initiate any interaction with those who engaged her. When Ben questioned the doctor about her improvement, Phelps described April’s condition as similar to men who had seen the horrors of war. At this point the doctor had no idea whether the problem that was keeping April from a complete recovery was physical or mental. The good news was that Phelps believed that she was no longer contagious with rabies and her restraints were removed. Ben could not see the purpose in keeping April in the hospital any longer, but rather that he would hire a woman to help with her care. For the time being, Ben wanted April at the Ponderosa. With winter soon upon them, a permanent arrangement would need to be made after the holidays. Ben hoped that bringing April back into a home environment would encourage her to a full recovery.<\/p>\n At the Ponderosa, April’s body did improve over the next weeks. With the help of her personal caregiver, Mrs. Esther Haywood, April was soon able to sit at the table for meals and would eat most of the food that was put on her plate. However, despite attempts to engage her into conversations, she sat sometimes focused on an item on the table or a point on the wall. She occasionally appeared to be looking at one of the family members, but her eyes seemed to look past them or through them rather than at them. It tore at Ben’s heart to think that the horrid rabies had permanently robbed this once vibrant woman of her zeal for life and that she was left a shell of the woman she had been. April had loved to shop, dance, and care for her precious chickens. Ben wondered what the key might be to unlocking the prison of her mind.<\/p>\n On a brisk November morning, Ben helped April into her coat. Jamie had already left the breakfast table to do his chores. Taking April by the hand, Ben led her to the chicken coop. Though the wind was sharp, she made no sound or movement to that effect. Jamie was calling to the chickens and slinging cracked corn from a canvas bag.<\/p>\n “April, you can see that Jamie has taken very good care of your chickens. Just look at them.” Ben nodded to Jamie to join in the conversation.<\/p>\n “Yeah…see how fat and sassy they are. They’re real good layers. Hop Sing get lots of eggs every day.” Jamie forced his voice to be upbeat and enthusiastic, but it trailed away when April’s face remained expressionless.<\/p>\n “Here, Jamie, let’s have some of that feed.” Ben lifted April’s gloved hand. Jamie poured corn into her palm. Ben helped her toss it to the chickens who squawked and greedily ate every bit.<\/p>\n Jamie and Ben repeated the process a few more times. Though April did not resist their actions, she remained emotionally unmoved. Jamie shrugged to his father and went on to complete the task.<\/p>\n “Thanks, Jamie. Have a good day at school.” Ben took April’s hand and led her back into the house.<\/p>\n This became the routine each morning for April, Ben, and Jamie. Though April’s body continued to gain strength, she remained unable break free of that which held her mind captive. Early in December, Ben sent word to Lori that it would probably be best for her to return to Nevada after the first of the year and move her mother to Boston. It broke Ben’s heart to do this. It would be placing a terrible burden on the young bride and April would very likely be forever lost to him.<\/p>\n By mid December, holiday preparations at the Ponderosa were in full swing. Knowing just how much April had enjoyed celebrations and parties, Ben was clinging to the hope that something about the Christmas season would bring her around. The holidays often held a sadness for him even without the weight of the situation with April on his mind. There had been a letter from Adam a few weeks earlier stating that his business ventures in Australia were doing quite well, but they would unfortunately keep him from traveling home again this year for the holidays. Ben continued to hope and pray that someday soon he would see his dark-haired son come walking through the front door.<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe could see the cumulative effect of the stress their father was working so hard not to show. They caught Ben asleep at his desk on more than one occasion. This was something that just did not happen under normal circumstances. Besides missing Adam and the situation with April, there was also Jamie who had only been living with the family since the early summer. The young orphan had his own set of issues and problems compounded by the guilt he was feeling about April. Ben wanted this Christmas to be special for the boy so he would feel like part of the family.<\/p>\n Chapter 3<\/b><\/p>\n It had been years since Ben accompanied his sons on the annual Christmas Eve outing to cut the tree. For Jamie’s sake, he wanted to be involved this year, and he also thought that the experience might possibly benefit April as well. It was frosty afternoon with only a skiff of snow on the ground when Ben helped April up into the buggy and tucked a heavy blanket around her legs. Hoss, Joe, and Jamie climbed atop the buckboard, steamy clouds floated above the heads of the horses. Joe began singing as they pulled away from the barn. Soon everyone but April joined in. Ben reached over and patted April’s blanket-covered leg. His deep voice rang out with exuberance into the crisp, winter air.<\/p>\n When they reached a grove of firs, Jamie was given the task of choosing the tree and then helping Joe to cut it off. Ben got down from the buggy just briefly to break off a soft evergreen branch and pick up a pinecone. He slid back into the seat beside April. Ben gently ran the soft needles along her cheek and held the fragrant branch up to her nose.<\/p>\n “Doesn’t it smell marvelous?” Ben brought the branch up to his face and took in the strong pine scent for himself.<\/p>\n April’s eyes seemed focused on the trees out beyond them. Ben then pulled back the blanket and took her gloved hands from her muff. He smiled warmly at her as he placed the pinecone in her hands and clasped his hands around them so she could feel the prickly texture of the cone through her gloves. April sat silent and unfazed through it all. Ben tried to remain upbeat as he repositioned the blanket over April once more, but her inability to engage the world about her grieved him. It did, though, do his heart good to see Jamie thoroughly enjoying himself. The lad selected a good-sized fir that would fill the space beside the staircase. Once the tree was cut, Jamie helped Hoss carry the it to the buckboard and toss it on the back where it landed with a swish and a thud. Soon everyone was headed back to the ranch house.<\/p>\n At home, Hoss and Joe put the big tree into a stand. Hop Sing had retrieved the decorations from the storeroom and had steaming cups of hot chocolate ready for all after their chilly excursion to get the tree. Red bows, candles, and ginger cookies soon covered the tree. The fragrance of evergreen filled the downstairs. As the youngest in the house, Jamie was given the privilege of placing the angel on top, climbing onto Hoss’ shoulders to do so. Gifts appeared from all over the house and were placed under the tree. After a delicious supper that was filled with lots of reminiscing of past Christmases, all but Ben and April turned in for the evening.<\/p>\n Ben encouraged April to have a seat on the settee so they could enjoy the fire and the tree. Thinking that a brandy might be nice, he moved across the room to the small table by stairs to pour a small glass for himself. While his back was turned, April, of her own accord, rose and moved toward to the Christmas tree. She stood staring blankly into the center of the pine. Mechanically, she raised a hand to touch the red bow on the branch in front of her. Her eyes slowly moved up the large pine and became fixed on the angel that sat on top.<\/p>\n “Good news of great joy.” April’s mouth formed the words, but no sound came forth. Suddenly she turned and faced Ben.<\/p>\n “April?” He stared at her in disbelief.<\/p>\n April’s voice was faint and scratchy, but her eyes were dancing with life. “The angel said, ‘I bring you good news of great joy.'”<\/p>\n “That’s right! Oh April.” Ben nearly dropped his glass, but managed to carefully set it down on the side table.<\/p>\n “Ben.”<\/p>\n With an expression of wonder and delight, he quickly covered the distance between them and held out his hands to her. April reached out and took hold. Ben pulled her close and held her tightly against his body. “You’re back. You’ve come back to me.”<\/p>\n “Yes, I’m here.” No longer was there a disconnect between April’s mind and body. She found the warmth and comfort of his embrace luxurious. “I was here all the time, but I just couldn’t tell you. It was all so frustrating to be able see and hear, but not able to respond.” April snuggled even further into Ben’s chest, her hands slipping around his waist. “I’m sorry to have been such a burden to you and the boys, especially Jamie. He’s suffered so much.”<\/p>\n Ben’s hand came up and caressed her hair. “Shhh. No. No. I’m just so happy to have you here, and the boys will be thrilled to know you are well again.” Gently pushing her away so he could look into her lucid eyes, he ran his hands along the sides of her face and then pulled her close again. “I’m so happy. Happy and grateful to know you are fully yourself again.”<\/p>\n They lingered in their embrace until April spoke into his chest. “You can’t begin to imagine how hard it was having you so close, holding me, touching my face, but never kissing me.”<\/p>\n Ben chuckled and tightened his arms around her. “Oh, I think that I might understand better than you think.”<\/p>\n “Ben, would you please kiss me now?”<\/p>\n His eyes went soft. Releasing his hold, Ben ever so gently took April’s face in his hands. He caressed her cheeks with his thumbs before tenderly pressing his lips to hers. “I wanted so much to kiss you the day that you ran out of the house, but of course I could not. You knew that I was already in love with you. But as you said that day, compassion and understanding was what you needed the most, not a declaration of my love.” His eyes were glistening as he spoke. “Thankfully this is a much different day.” Ben leaned down to kiss her again and then his hand came up to press her head into his chest. “A much different and glorious day.”<\/p>\n April and Ben kept the news of her recovery a secret from all but Mrs. Haywood, who was sworn to secrecy until it would become obvious to everyone the following morning. Christmas day could not come quickly enough for Ben. Not many hours later, Joe was surprised to see his father relaxed and sitting in his favorite chair with a cup of coffee. A fire was already blazing in the hearth. It was not the fact that Ben was dressed in his best suit that caught Joe by surprise, but that his father had been the first to come downstairs on Christmas morning. Since the time he was a small child, Joe would be found by the rest of the family early Christmas morning shaking gifts under tree and vibrating with excitement. However, this Christmas, it was Ben that could not wait for everyone in the house to arrive downstairs.<\/p>\n “Merry Christmas, Pa! You’re up awfully early, aren’t you?” Joe smoothed the last wrinkles from his shirt and straightened his string tie.<\/p>\n “Merry Christmas, son! Yes I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep.” Ben was working hard to suppress a big grin.<\/p>\n “I heard the others moving around. They’ll probably be down soon.” Joe paused and clapped his hands together. “Can’t wait for Jamie to see all his gifts. This is going to be a great Christmas!” Then Joe sighed and his voice grew serious. “I mean, it’s just too bad April hasn’t come around. Wouldn’t it be great if she came out of it today, Pa? Wouldn’t it?” Joe’s face lit up. He was trying so hard to bolster his father’s spirits.<\/p>\n Ben set his cup and saucer on the coffee table. Keeping his emotions in check, he looked intently at his youngest. “Yes, Joe, that would be just the miracle I’ve been praying for.”<\/p>\n Moments later, Jamie came bounding down the stairs followed closely by the lumbering steps of Hoss. Everyone exchanged happy Christmas greetings. Ben rose to take the Bible from the shelf and set it on the coffee table in preparation for the reading of the Christmas story. Hoss and Joe took that as their cue to begin lighting the candles on the large fir that towered almost as high as the upstairs landing. Hoss lit a stick and handed it to Jamie so he could join in the Christmas tradition.<\/p>\n “I’m going to go check on April and Mrs. Haywood.” Ben ducked his head hoping to appear a little sad, but actually to avoid looking at the others for fear he might give away the surprise.<\/p>\n When he got upstairs, Ben knocked on April’s door. Mrs. Haywood opened the door and greeted Ben with a knowing smile. “She’s all ready. Doesn’t she look stunning.”<\/p>\n Though maybe a trifle thinner than she had been the evening of her party, April looked every bit as lovely in the same gown she had worn for that occasion. Her face was beaming as Ben walked near and kissed her cheek. He leaned in and whispered into her ear. “You look absolutely beautiful. I can’t wait to see their faces.”<\/p>\n Mrs. Haywood graciously remained in the room and gave the family a few minutes to celebrate without intrusive observation. April and Ben stood at the top of the stairs long enough to get the boys attention. Hoss and Joe did a double-take before their faces broke into huge grins. Jamie stood with his mouth open, unable to believe what he was seeing.<\/p>\n Ben released April’s arm when they reached the main floor. She went directly to the shocked Jamie and placed her hand on his shoulder. “Merry Christmas, Jamie, and thank you for taking such good care of my chickens.”<\/p>\n Tears welled up in the lad’s eyes and he almost threw himself into April’s arms. Ben reached out to squeeze Jamie’s neck in understanding before stepping away to give Hoss and Joe simultaneous claps on their arms. Christmas greetings, hugs and kisses abounded for the next few minutes. Joe jogged up the stairs and invited Mrs. Haywood to come down and join them. Eventually everyone was seated quietly for the reading of the Christmas story. All eyes were focused on Ben as the words of the age-old story flowed effortlessly in his deep, resonant voice. There was a twinge in Ben’s chest as he closed the Bible and began to sing “Silent Night”. It had always been Adam’s place to lead the family in song and was difficult for them to sing without him. Pausing for a few moments of reflection at the close of the hymn, Ben then offered a brief prayer of thanks and blessing for the day.<\/p>\n Ben gave April a warm smile as he rose from his chair and extended his hand for her to join him. They moved in front of the festive Christmas tree. “There is one more thing that I must do before we enjoy the wonderful feast that Hop Sing has prepared for us.”<\/p>\n Joe elbowed his big brother and winked at Jamie in anticipation for what he was certain was coming. Upon hearing his name mentioned, Hop Sing padded from the kitchen to observe what was going on.<\/p>\n Ben dropped to one knee and took April’s right hand in his own. “April, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”<\/p>\n With glistening eyes, April reached forward to stroke her love’s silver sideburn. “Yes, Ben, I will.”<\/p>\n The room erupted with cheers that Ben and April momentarily ignored, unashamedly occupied in their embrace and kisses. A glorious day of celebration commenced.<\/p>\n Epilogue<\/strong><\/p>\n Ben and April were married shortly after the new year. In their marriage, they approached each and every day with a renewed sense of gratitude, having come so close to losing their loves but miraculously been given a second chance on life. Within the next year, they would formally adopt Jamie into the Cartwright family. April became to him the mother he had longed for. The following Christmas was again an exceedingly joyful one as a dark-haired gentleman, who was just beginning to show some gray at the temples, led the family in carol after carol. Ben Cartwright was a contented man with a heart overflowing with love.<\/p>\n “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.<\/strong><\/p>\n But the greatest of these is love.”<\/strong><\/p>\n 1 Corinthians 13:13<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tags:\u00a0 Ben Cartwright, Family, Grief<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
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