{"id":1573,"date":"2009-08-10T14:55:24","date_gmt":"2009-08-10T18:55:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1573"},"modified":"2026-07-29T11:42:24","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T15:42:24","slug":"picture-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1573","title":{"rendered":"Picture This (by the Giggly Sisters)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>The pictures on the walls of a house tell us so much about the occupants. What do the pictures at the Ponderosa say?<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01800<\/p>\n

Picture This<\/strong><\/p>\n

Keen eyed viewers will be able to attest that Ben Cartwright\u2019s desk occasionally played host to three portraits, one of each of his late wives: Elizabeth, Inger and Marie. Of course, more often than not, these pictures were nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you think they go to?\u201d the blonde mused one afternoon, sitting on the porch with her sister, Joe and their pet bear, Paw. It was a beautiful summer\u2019s day and the air was full of the scent of roses, which bloomed riotously from the climbing rose that wound its way up one of the pillars.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps Ben takes them up to bed with him?\u201d the redhead suggested idly, noticing that there was rather a lot of greenfly on the rose bush. Perhaps she should have a little word with Hop Sing and suggest he threw the soapy dishwater all over it? \u201cMaybe he gets lonely at night and they keep him company?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe just shrugged and pulled off his shirt to make sure he didn\u2019t get any unsightly tan lines. After all, his smooth, golden chest was a sure-fire ratings winner! The sisters looked at his impressive musculature and sighed happily. Paw looked a bit peeved, for his chest was covered in fur and any muscles were effectively hidden. Along with the rolls of fat, for he was rather rotund.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd why aren\u2019t there any pictures of you, Adam and Hoss?\u201d the blonde asked, just as Adam came out to join them.<\/p>\n

\u201cPhotographs are expensive,\u201d he explained. \u201cAnd you have to remember the science is still in its infancy, with long exposure times and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was an erudite and well-educated chap, but he did have a slight tendency to go on a bit. As he paused for breath, the redhead jumped in.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it would be lovely to have a picture of the three of you together!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Joe and smiled sardonically. \u201cYou\u2019d have to sit at the front, buddy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grinned lazily. \u201cAge before beauty, older brother! But you\u2019d better not ruin any photograph with that finger gesture! Remember how annoyed Pa was that time?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam cringed slightly. They had all been posing for a souvenir photograph to celebrate the railroad, when he\u2019d inadvertently slipped one finger out of his jacket pocket. When that picture was developed, Ben had steadfastly refused to pay for it and his fury was so loud and so sustained that the photographic plate had shattered into multiple pieces.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be lovely for Ben to have a photograph of the three of you, just in case\u2026\u201d the blonde said dreamily, giving Adam a guileless smile, which made him feel slightly uneasy.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you looking at me like that?\u201d he demanded. \u201cI\u2019m not going anywhere!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not,\u201d the redhead murmured, making him feel even more uneasy. Giving Adam a meaningless smile she went on, \u201cBut I suppose a photo of the three of you would walk about as well. After all, look at the way that scary Indian picture moves around. Why I saw it in Bitter Water<\/em>, on the wall in the saloon! And it certainly follows your room around, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me about it,\u201d Joe muttered, gloomily. \u201cThe one thing I can never get rid of is that scary Indian picture!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe horse statue in the living room is quite mobile, too,\u201d the blonde remarked. \u201cIt pops up in your bedroom in MBK<\/em>, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever,\u201d Adam scoffed. \u201cThat\u2019s rubbish! It\u2019s just a similar statue.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo it’s not,\u201d protested the redhead, who coveted that statue for her collection. \u201cAnd I saw it in Boss Sladen\u2019s office in The Boss<\/em>.\u201d She sighed. \u201cMaimed Joe, a nice JPM, that sexy black sling, but why did they keep tucking that blanket around you?\u201d she asked, glancing once more at Joe\u2019s wonderful golden chest. She felt positively weak at the knees.<\/p>\n

Joe shot Adam a look. \u201cWhen you came back, you didn\u2019t even ask if I was all right,\u201d he complained. \u201cYou just nodded to me, as though I was a total stranger! Any other brother would have been concerned about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were sitting on the wagon seat,\u201d Adam protested. \u201cSo you must have been all right! And you were quick enough to shoot that fellow before he could kill Karen. And you used your injured arm to sight along.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI might just have been being brave,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were,\u201d the blonde sighed. \u201cVery brave. As always.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never even wrote when I was blinded in The Stillness Within<\/em>!\u201d Joe whined\u00a0while managing to retain his boyish vulnerability.<\/p>\n

Adam sighed loudly. \u201cYou were blind! What did you think \u2013 your seeing-eye dog would read it out loud to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked black affronted, which was a Scottish skill he had picked up from the Giggly Sisters. For the benefit of overseas readers, this was not dissimilar to pouting, but with attitude. A bit like wearing a kilt in broad daylight.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t seem too bothered when I was Bushwhacked<\/em> either,\u201d Joe said disconsolately.<\/p>\n

Adam was reaching the very limits of his patience. \u201cWhat more do you want me to do? Send you a stuffed animal?\u201d<\/p>\n

The blonde and the redhead smiled broadly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, that\u2019s a curious turn of speech,\u201d the blonde remarked, and her sister nodded in agreement. The blonde was a noted expert in English Language, after all. \u201cAlways makes me think of taxidermy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA strange phrase,\u201d Adam cringed at the picture this conjured up, but before he could say anything, Ben bustled in.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve just bought another picture!\u201d he announced proudly. \u201cA beautiful landscape to brighten up the living room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll make a change from the murky daubs currently displayed. Had you left your spectacles at home the day you bought them?\u201d the redhead said nonchalantly.<\/p>\n

Ben looked askance. \u201cThese pictures are original works of art!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Joe tried very hard not to laugh out loud. The pictures were so dark and dingy it was impossible to tell what the subject matter actually was. In fact, they would make Whistler\u2019s Mother look like a positive riot of color by comparison.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do like that picture of Marie on your desk,\u201d the blonde cooed, in seductively dulcet tones. They\u2019d run special classes in cooing attractively at her ladies\u2019 seminary, along with lessons in how to prepare snacks for bridge parties. Ben favored her with a loving smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was a beautiful woman. Ah, Marie\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy Love!\u201d everyone chorused dutifully, recognizing a cue when they heard one.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you never fancied having your portrait painted?\u201d the redhead asked. \u201cYou\u2019re such a distinguished man and it would look so fitting over the fireplace!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Adam exchanged skeptical looks. The fireplace was enormous and dominated the entire living room with a dull, oppressing grayness that sucked the color out of all the surrounding furniture and cast. Ben had realized this early on and had cunningly insisted that the costume designers fashion him a dark, aubergine colored shirt to stand out in splendid contrast. At the same time, Adam had made an ill-advised foray from red shirts into black and thereafter tended to rather recede into the background when placed in interior scenes. Realizing this, he\u2019d insisted on more outdoor scenes, but sadly, these necessitated the wearing of a custard colored coat in order to provide the necessary contrast against the multitude of Ponderosa pines.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did have my portrait painted once,\u201d Ben explained magnanimously. \u201cBy the Countess. Of course, it turned out that she was a trifle deranged\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe thought I could have been her son!\u201d Joe interjected, less than helpfully. Tact was somewhat of an unknown quantity to him at moments of stress. The blonde realized that it would be diplomatic to intervene. Years of working in the exciting world of government service had given her this edge.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always been especially interested in one of your landscapes!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked interested. \u201cWhich one would that be, my dear?\u201d<\/p>\n

The blonde looked a trifle abashed. \u201cIt\u2019s difficult to describe, because I\u2019ve never had a clear view of it. Whenever we see an exterior shot of the front door, there appears to be a wall about six feet in, running parallel to the front door and there\u2019s a picture on it. But the funny thing is \u2013 once you actually get inside, there\u2019s no wall in sight at all!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve noticed that!\u201d Joe announced. \u201cThere\u2019s an awful draft blows in under that door and swirls around your ankles!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was at moments like these that Ben wished the sisters weren\u2019t so observant! He had no idea where that wall came from, or where it went, either, for that matter! It was a bit like the pine trees that sometimes grew in the yard, which came and went alarmingly, and frequently frightened the horses. Ben thought they were ridiculous; why would anyone in their right mind leave trees in the yard? It was difficult enough to get into the yard as it was without having to negotiate the chicane of trees as well! \u201cErr,\u201d he said, lost for words. He goggled wildly at the inept script girl, but she was dozing in the sunshine and going a shade of red that even the redhead couldn\u2019t manage. And that was saying something.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could lend you some pictures,\u201d the redhead offered, kindly. Her stitching really needed changing around so she could show off some different pictures. \u201cAnd don\u2019t worry that the smoke from the fire will make them as dirty as your other pictures,\u201d she went on. \u201cThey have glass in front of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCould I get rid of the scary Indian and the washed out seascape?\u201d Joe asked, plaintively. He looked at the redhead. \u201cHow is the picture of my cowboy boots coming along?\u201d he asked, eagerly, for the redhead had promised to stitch it just for him.<\/p>\n

The redhead winked at him as Ben spluttered. He chose the pictures for the house, no one else!The blonde gave another of her charming smiles. \u201cI think you should get a family photograph taken and hand it in pride of place. Just think how the fans would adore that!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded; she certainly was a clever little filly! And squeezable too! He gave her a pat on the knee.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes!\u201d Joe said happily. \u201cWith the girls and Paw too. After all, he\u2019s like a son to me!\u201d<\/p>\n

All of a sudden, Ben felt a dark cloud come over his personal horizon and blot out all the sunshine. So far, he\u2019d managed to stay the tongues of Virginia City\u2019s finest gossips, who were a trifle put out at the fact the Giggly Sisters appeared to have taken up residence on the Ponderosa. But how could he begin to explain the presence of a furry grandson?<\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0The pictures on the walls of a house tell us so much about the occupants. What do the pictures at the Ponderosa say?<\/p>\n

Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01800<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1573","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1573"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1573\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}