{"id":1595,"date":"2009-08-20T15:08:33","date_gmt":"2009-08-20T19:08:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1595"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:22:28","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:22:28","slug":"the-mystery-of-the-room-behind-the-stairs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1595","title":{"rendered":"The Mystery of the Room Behind the Stairs (by the Giggly Sisters)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Deep behind the stairs of the Ponderosa lurked a deadly secret – the Giggly Sisters go where other writers fear to tread.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+ WC 2100<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Mystery of the Room Behind the Stairs<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pausing half way up the stairs, the redhead looked over her shoulder at Ben, where he was sitting perusing the Territorial Enterprise before going to bed. He deliberately always waited for the rest of the family to go upstairs first, so he didn\u2019t have to think about where the Giggly Sisters slept.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere does that door lead?\u201d she asked, curiously. The door behind the stairs seemed to come and go alarmingly, rather like a lot of other things on the Ponderosa, including a wall in the house, the bunkhouses, ranch hands and several trees.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich door?\u201d Ben asked, blankly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat door, there, behind the stairs,\u201d the redhead persisted. \u201cWhere does it go? Is it another guest bedroom?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben said, uncertainly. \u201cIt\u2019s just a door.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt must go somewhere,\u201d the redhead protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just a door,\u201d Ben repeated, hoping that the redhead would get the hint and stop talking about it.<\/p>\n

Attracted by the voices, and wondering where the redhead had got to, Joe and the blonde came onto the stairs. The blonde peered at the door, too. \u201cHave you ever been through that door?\u201d she asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I remember,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cI often had the impression that the wall should be up against the stairs, because I\u2019m sure that room didn\u2019t used to be there at the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paw had joined them by now, but because he was only a small bear, he sat yawning loudly and generally looking rather belligerent. Ben felt rather uneasy and decided it was time to put an end to the inanities. He folded the paper up with an ostentations rustle and stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you must know, it was a little modification Adam decided to make one day. I\u2019m impressed that you noticed the door, for most people just think the stairs jut out from the wall in a loveably eccentric fashion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas that the same time as the bunkhouse started moving?\u201d Joe asked curiously, but the redhead was not easily deflected from the topic of the mysterious door.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere does the door lead to then?\u201d she asked, with a deceptively innocent look on her face.<\/p>\n

The blonde got very excited and started to jump up and down in an agitated fashion that made Ben privately wonder if he should offer the services of a chamber pot. Although, now he thought about it, he\u2019d never seen one of those useful, nay essential objects around the house. He wondered if they would be in the same red and white pattern as the china. It was nice to have things matching, after all.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s the famous back door!\u201d the blonde burst out happily, but Ben merely shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not the back door. And it doesn\u2019t lead to the backstairs either.\u201d He pursed his lips and looked particularly enigmatic. Paw rolled over and started to scratch himself in a contemplative way and Ben fervently hoped the creature didn\u2019t have fleas. The little bear was dangerously close to the Indian rug, which was once again pretending to be a blanket and had cunningly hung itself over the banisters.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, all right \u2013 I\u2019ll show you!\u201d With rather bad grace, Ben stood up and walked slowly to the stairs, then turned sideways and gingerly eased down the narrow corridor.<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t Adam have a proper measuring tape then?\u201d Joe asked, for it was indeed a tight fit. The redhead merely contended herself with the thought that Adam must have considerably svelter around the posterior in those days.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe side wall is a lot further out that you get the impression it is,\u201d the redhead commented, and Ben smothered an unworthy desire to smother her. \u201cIt must come in very handy for parties. You could store all the furniture over here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI often wondered where you put the furniture,\u201d said the blonde, sliding easily through the restricted space. The redhead and Joe followed closely, while Paw merely stuck his head through the banisters.<\/p>\n

There, stuck away in the corner behind the stairs was the door. Like the other doors in the ranch, it was plain wood. Ben gestured to it. \u201cThere it is,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis bit of floor\u2019s a bit manky,\u201d the redhead commented, disapprovingly. \u201cDoesn\u2019t Hop Sing polish the floor over here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t polish the floor anywhere else,\u201d the blonde retorted. \u201cWhy should he bother over here? Nobody sees it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing does a sterling job,\u201d Ben protested, although he did sometimes think the floor could do with a polish. But then, the last time he\u2019d polished the floor, the rugs had become death traps, and Ben had landed on his pride with a bruising thump. The boys\u2019 laughter rankled yet.<\/p>\n

They stood and looked at the door for a few seconds. \u201cAren\u2019t you going to open it?\u201d asked the blonde.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have a key,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere isn\u2019t a key in this entire house,\u201d Joe commented. \u201cThere\u2019s a bolt on the front door, but we don\u2019t seem to be able to lock it from the outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

They never seemed to bother bolting the door either and all sorts of people would just walk in and make themselves at home. The sisters remembered that annoying Irish girl (the one who didn\u2019t fancy maimed Joe) and her father simply walking in and making themselves at home. And that girl sure was a mean packer: her small carpetbag held an impressive variety of clothes, even a dressing gown!<\/p>\n

The blonde reached out her hand and slowly turned the handle of the door, which opened smoothly and soundlessly. Exchanging looks of excited pleasure, the sisters bounded inside, with Joe following closely behind them. So close that they could feel his warm breath on the back of their necks, which was really rather pleasurable.<\/p>\n

The mysterious room was completely dark, for there was no window. Through the gloom, they could make out that one wall had floor to ceiling shelves, but it was impossible to see what was on them.<\/p>\n

\u201cRighty-oh!\u201d Ben said cheerfully, but with an underlying note of desperation in his voice. \u201cYou\u2019ve seen the room, so I think it\u2019s time to go to bed now!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stood resolutely still and placed his hands on his hips in time-honoured style. Not for the first time he wondered why his pants didn\u2019t have belt loops, but this really didn\u2019t seem to be the time to go into all that. \u201cI think you\u2019re trying to hide something, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was getting to be a bit of a strain, trying to remain jovial, but Ben persevered. \u201cNonsense Joseph! You asked to see the room and I\u2019ve shown it to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcept we can\u2019t actually see anything in this gloom,\u201d the redhead pointed out. Even in the enveloping gloom she could feel the force of Ben\u2019s glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a lantern here. I\u2019ll just light it, shall I?\u201d The blonde proved as good as her word and Ben cringed as light flooded the room. Three astonished gasps of wonder and delight filled the room, revealed at last in all its glory. The shelves were filled with a veritable cornucopia of delights, filled almost to bursting with a myriad of differently hued and styled wigs.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to store them somewhere cool and dark,\u201d Ben explained, shamefacedly, as the girls rushed over to a shelf labelled \u201cHOSS\u201d. The wigs had a rather dusty and unloved appearance, which chimed in with the fact that Hoss strongly resisted wearing a rug unless absolutely forced to. They admired him for this charming lack of vanity.<\/p>\n

There were several marked \u201cADAM\u201d, varying from very short, through slightly longer, wavy, to long. There was one with a side parting, which the girls recognised from when Adam had shot Joe accidentally-on-purpose. There was an empty wig stand, denoting that Adam was wearing his medium length, slightly windblown wig. And since he was already in bed, they wondered if he wore it to bed or not, and if not, what he was doing with it!<\/p>\n

The section marked \u201cBEN\u201d was very large. There was the dark grey, which didn\u2019t match his won natural colour, and the soft, tousled, \u201cI\u2019m understanding\u201d one, which came out quite often for Joe\/Pa moments. There was the one that practically stood at attention, and declared that the wearer was in charge. There was also his, \u201cI\u2019ve just been in a fight\u201d wig, which featured a strand of hair hanging over the forehead.<\/p>\n

It was a veritable treasure trove, and Joe and the girls exclaimed at length over each one. Ben blushed harder and harder with each word and burst of laughter. He thought that if any of them went to try on a wig, he wouldn\u2019t be responsible for his actions.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s enough,\u201d he said, stiffly, and they abandoned the delights of the room reluctantly. Ben shut the door firmly behind them, and they all squeezed through the narrow gap until they were back in front of the fireplace. They noticed Ben had on his \u201cI\u2019m going to bed\u201d wig, which looked rather mussed and tired.<\/p>\n

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes. Ben was clearly embarrassed, and Joe shuffled his feet and ducked his head. The redhead broke the silence. \u201cDon\u2019t you find the wigs rather hot and uncomfortable?\u201d she asked. \u201cWhenever I\u2019ve had to wear one, I found them pure torture.\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking at the young woman\u2019s vibrant tresses (did hair come in that shade of red in nature? he wondered), Ben said, \u201cI imagine it\u2019s different when you already have hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hadn\u2019t thought of that,\u201d she answered, contritely. \u201cBut thanks for showing us the room.\u201d<\/p>\n

The blonde was lurking in the corner by the gunracks, looking slightly furtive. Once Ben had climbed the stairs, she came forward, her expressive face wreathed in smiles.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook what I found!\u201d she exclaimed happily and produced a small, round tin, that Joe instantly recalled sitting on one of the shelves.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow on earth did you manage to filch that?\u201d the redhead asked, but the blonde just shrugged modestly. Years at an expensive and exclusive private school equipped one with so many highly desirable skills. The redhead grabbed the tin and examined the legend closely.<\/p>\n

\u201cToupee Toffee,\u201d she read outloud. \u201cGuaranteed to stick rugs firmly no matter what the circumstances. Ideal for roundups.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stretched out his hand (complete with lovely unbitten fingernails) and read the small print. \u201cNot only works well but tastes good!\u201d He opened the tin and dabbed his index finger in gingerly and then licked it. The girls watched in awed fascination. \u201cIt is good!\u201d he crowed delightedly and the Giggly Sisters took a wee dod too.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must save some for Paw!\u201d the redhead said, licking her delicious lips.<\/p>\n

The blonde smiled enigmatically. She was good at this, for they had special classes at her ladies\u2019 seminary in being devastatingly attractive. \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got something much better for Paw!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hearing his name, Paw scuttled down the stairs and sat at her feet, looking up with obvious adoration. Well he was a male bear, after all. The blonde delved into her capacious handbag, cunningly accessorised with a monkey and pulled out a rather squashed relic. It was Ben\u2019s steel grey \u201cpatriarchal\u201d wig, which he only wore on those occasions when he wanted to exude righteous authority.<\/p>\n

Paw snickered in delight, grabbed the wig and scuttled into a corner, where he proceeded to make a little nest for himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s not going to be happy!\u201d Joe observed, but he was smiling adoringly at small, fat Paw, snoozing contentedly and hugging the rug. Truly that bear was like a son to him!<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll be ages before Ben needs it again! And we can just tell him Roy nicked it to do some running repairs on his \u2018tache!\u201d The redhead was of an exceptionally practical bent. She had a point: Roy spent a good deal of time chewing on his moustache in ruminatory fashion, so it stood to reason that touch ups would be required.<\/p>\n

Joe ran his fingers through his enviably thick curls. \u201cI hope I don\u2019t go bald!\u201d he said in a plaintive voice and the sisters rushed to reassure him that a little greying was the worst that was in store.<\/p>\n

It was up to the blonde to have the final word. \u201cSome people call Adam the MIB,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMan in Black,\u201d the redhead explained to Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut really he should be called MPB!\u201d Her sister and Joe looked perplexed, so after a few moments of snickering, the blonde relented and explained: \u201cMale Pattern Balding!\u201d<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Deep behind the stairs of the Ponderosa lurked a deadly secret – the Giggly Sisters go where other writers fear to tread.<\/p>\n

Rated: K+ WC 2100<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":568,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1495,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1495","url_meta":{"origin":1595,"position":0},"title":"Bonanza – A Guide (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0As a follow-up to A Spoof for Stephen \u2013 or Bonanza for Beginners \u2013 here is the next installment in Stephen\u2019s Bonanza education. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a02200 Bonanza for Beginners Series: A Spoof for Stephen A Guide","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1619,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1619","url_meta":{"origin":1595,"position":1},"title":"Waste Not, Want Not (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0We all know that thrift is a virtue, but the Cartwrights seem to take it to extremes, as the Giggly Sisters show. Rated: K+ \u00a0(1,750 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1487,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1487","url_meta":{"origin":1595,"position":2},"title":"An Indoor Bathroom (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0On a cold, snowy day, the sisters want to know about something related to everyone's comfort. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a02000","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1535,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1535","url_meta":{"origin":1595,"position":3},"title":"In A Matter of Speaking (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The Giggly Sisters turn their inimitable eye on the patterns of speech found at the Ponderosa. Why does Hoss talk like that? Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01400","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Hoss-smile.jpg?fit=285%2C326&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1539,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1539","url_meta":{"origin":1595,"position":4},"title":"Is This A Fireplace I See Before Me? (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Ever wondered about the fireplaces in the bedrooms at the ranch? the Giggly Sisters turn their unique eye on them. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01900","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1471,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1471","url_meta":{"origin":1595,"position":5},"title":"A Little Night Music (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Ever noticed the piano that materializes at Ponderosa celebrations?\u00a0 The Giggly Sisters investigate further as Ben organises a musical soiree. Rated:\u00a0 K+ \u00a0WC \u00a02200","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1595"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1595\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}