{"id":16037,"date":"2018-02-07T18:27:51","date_gmt":"2018-02-07T23:27:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16037"},"modified":"2026-06-24T15:26:35","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T19:26:35","slug":"gently-full-of-grace-by-jc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16037","title":{"rendered":"Gently, Full of Grace (by JC)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Two Cartwright lives take a dangerous turn during a trip abroad.\u00a0 Will they ever be able to go home again? (Part of the Ties That Bind<\/em> AU series)<\/p>\n

Rating: K+\u00a0 (4372 words)<\/p>\n

Ties That Bind series<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ties That Bind<\/a>
\nImperfect Memory<\/a>
\nA Pearl Without Price<\/a>
\nA Piece of Cake<\/a>
\nSomething About Amy<\/a>
\nGuarding the Henhouse<\/a>
\nWhen Angels Cry<\/a>
\nNo Ordinary Day<\/a>
\nWinter of Discontent<\/a>
\nInterval<\/a>
\nNot to Me<\/a>
\nGently, Full of Grace<\/a><\/p>\n

Author’s Note:\u00a0 This story was originally published several years ago in the Bonanza World Library as the final installment of this series.\u00a0 Like most of the others, it has since been edited and is to date the last completed entry. If you have followed along you will notice an interval of about six years since the previous story.\u00a0 The gap represents pending material which may or may not find its way to the page.\u00a0 I had been holding this story for the sake of the timeline but have decided that’s not enough of a reason to keep it off the shelf. I hope you enjoy it, especially if it turns out to be the last one.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Gently, Full of Grace<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Part One<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

A voice penetrated the haze surrounding him, punctuated by a searing pain on his forehead, as though someone had branded it with a hot iron.\u00a0 Startled by such a rude awakening, Adam instinctively drew back from the young woman leaning over him.\u00a0 She looked familiar.\u00a0 He squinted against the stabbing light in an attempt to subdue the pounding behind his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a dreadful cut.\u00a0 How do you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her accent was unmistakably English. \u00a0Celia\u2014that was her name, he recalled.\u00a0 \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were in a carriage accident.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bits and pieces of chaos and terror converged into memory.\u00a0 He had been driving the phaeton when something spooked the bay.\u00a0 It happened so quickly, and the jolt that stripped the reins from his hands propelled him through the air. He heard a scream before he pitched into blackness.<\/p>\n

A clawing fear seized him.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is my sister?\u00a0 Is she all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe doctor and Uncle Teddy are with her now.\u201d\u00a0 Celia pressed a fresh cloth to his wound, causing him to flinch once more.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry; I know this must hurt terribly.\u201d<\/p>\n

His head throbbed in tandem with his racing heartbeat as he repeated the question. \u201cIs Jilly all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Celia averted her gaze as she answered.\u00a0 \u201cWe should know something soon.\u00a0 But you must lie still.\u201d<\/p>\n

He ignored her admonition and sat up, even though his body protested with a wave of nausea.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got to see her.\u201d<\/p>\n

A pair of determined hands caught his shoulders. \u201cMr. Cartwright, you\u2019re in no condition\u2026,\u201d she scolded, but she softened when their eyes met.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, please. Not now.\u00a0 I promise I\u2019ll take you to her later.\u201d\u00a0 She eased him back against the pillow.<\/p>\n

That small effort cost him more than he bargained as his stomach rebelled, spewing bile into the back of his throat.\u00a0 Fortunately, Celia was ready with the basin.\u00a0 Physically spent and breathless afterwards, he lay still with his eyes closed in hopes of calming the spin of the bed and the hammer of blood through his brain, while she performed her ministrations in silence.<\/p>\n

She left the room briefly, returning with a cup.\u00a0 \u201cHere, this should ease you enough to rest a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d\u00a0 He knew it was more than just tea.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, it\u2019s not that strong.\u201d\u00a0 She frowned at his further reluctance.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re no help to your sister if you can\u2019t get even get out of bed.\u00a0 A spot of this and a nap will do you good. I promise to wake you if you\u2019re needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

He accepted the cup as she held it to his lips.\u00a0 It was bitter and sweet at the same time.<\/p>\n

This time when he closed his eyes, he saw the faces of his father and brothers back home.<\/p>\n

They would all be together now if fate hadn\u2019t intervened in the person of Theodore Grayson, whom he and Jilly met at a party in Boston.\u00a0 A cultured, quiet-spoken man in his forties, Teddy, as he was known to his friends, shared Adam\u2019s interest in architecture and literature, and the two hit it off immediately.\u00a0 But it was Jilly who enamored him, as anyone could see.\u00a0 It was no surprise to Adam, for at twenty she was very much her mother\u2019s daughter. Teddy\u2019s invitation to his English estate put Adam in a rather awkward position.\u00a0 He and Jilly had already made plans to return to Nevada after nearly a two-year absence, and he knew his family would be sorely disappointed if they didn\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0 But it was a wonderful opportunity, one that might not come again.\u00a0 Even though Jilly downplayed her own wishes, Adam knew how much she wanted to go, and he could not deny her.<\/p>\n

His sister’s delight in this foreign venue amused him.\u00a0 Publicly she was poised and serene, but privately she was sometimes as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning, a slightly calmer though no less enthusiastic version of their brother Joe.\u00a0 Watching her with their charming host, Adam had to admit they made a handsome couple, but he was unprepared when Teddy asked his permission to court her. In the absence of her father it seemed the proper thing to do, he\u2019d said.\u00a0 There was no mistaking the intent.\u00a0 Jilly was certainly old enough to marry, but Adam doubted she shared Teddy\u2019s feelings. They could be headed for a situation that might make their stay uncomfortable or even impossible. Maybe it was time to think about going home….<\/p>\n

A cool hand on his cheek roused him from sleep. Celia had the clearest blue eyes he had ever seen, like a cloudless winter sky. It was the first thing he noticed about her the day they met.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter, I think.\u00a0 I suppose I\u2019ll know more when I sit up.\u201d\u00a0 He groaned with the effort. The pulsing pain in his head had subsided somewhat, though now compounded by a familiar twinge in his back.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d he insisted. \u201cI want to see my sister now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He eased his legs over the side of the bed and steadied himself on Celia\u2019s arm as he stood up.\u00a0 She led him to a room at the end of the hall.\u00a0 Teddy was waiting just outside the door talking to a man Adam assumed was the doctor.\u00a0 They looked up as he approached.<\/p>\n

Teddy\u2019s stricken expression told him everything he never wanted to know, and time stood still long enough for him to watch the world reinvent itself. He knew it would never be the same again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a question, really.<\/p>\n

The doctor cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m very sorry, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 I\u2019ve done all I can. I assure you, she\u2019s in no pain now; I\u2019ve seen to that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though he had steeled himself, the words sliced his heart like a dagger. \u201cYou\u2019re sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes she know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t tell her, if that\u2019s what you mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe has been asking for you, Adam.\u201d Teddy\u2019s voice wavered. \u201cYou\u2019d best go quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly looked so small, propped among the pillows of the huge four-poster bed.\u00a0 Her eyes were closed but she opened them when he kissed her cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cI must have dozed off. I was afraid you wouldn\u2019t be able to come. They told me you were hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing could keep me away. I\u2019m fine; you don\u2019t need to worry about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I do worry. Who\u2019s going to take care of you now?\u201d<\/p>\n

No one had to tell her she was dying.\u00a0 She knew.<\/p>\n

Numb, he sank into the nearest chair. \u201cI should never have brought you here. This is my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re wrong, Adam. Some things just happen and there is no one to blame. It\u2019s not your fault that you can\u2019t fix everything. It\u2019s just rotten luck, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems that we Cartwrights have had more than our share of rotten luck, if that\u2019s what you want to call it.\u201d\u00a0 He wanted to rage at the heavens. God, when will it be enough? <\/em>\u201cI\u2019m sorry; I don\u2019t mean to\u2026it\u2019s just that\u2026\u201d \u00a0He dropped his head so she wouldn\u2019t see his tears. \u201cIf only I could trade places with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou would, I know.\u201d\u00a0 She reached for his hand. \u201cI was dreaming just now. We were all at the lake; Joe was in the water trying to convince us it wasn\u2019t too cold for swimming, and his teeth were chattering the whole time. Then Hoss picked me up and pretended he was going to throw me in, though I knew he wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 But you did; and then you jumped in after me. We were all in the water, even Pa, and we were laughing, and it wasn\u2019t cold at all\u2026\u201d her voice trailed off. \u201cI miss them so much, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 At that moment he was heartsick and homesick.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you do something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPromise me you\u2019ll go home. It\u2019s where you belong. Pa needs you\u2014they all do, and you need them, now more than ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was so much he wanted to say with so little time in which to say it. \u201cI know what you\u2019re trying to do, mother hen, and I love you all the more for it. God forgive me, I don\u2019t even remember the last time I told you that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her voice was weak and she was fighting sleep. \u201cYou tell me all the time, maybe not in those words, but everything you\u2019ve done these past two years has been for me, and if that isn\u2019t love, I don\u2019t know what is. You\u2019ve given me every reason to adore you, even if you are a granite-head sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

He attempted a smile. \u201cI guess I\u2019ll always be that, won\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

She closed her eyes, and the room was silent except for the ticking of a clock. Adam watched her chest rise and fall with every breath, and there was nothing he could do but wait. It wasn\u2019t right.\u00a0 He was the oldest. He should have gone first.<\/p>\n

Jilly was hardly more than a baby when he left for college, and when he returned home she was a bashful not-quite-seven-year-old who didn\u2019t remember him.\u00a0 He had to coax her away from Hoss to get that first hug, and even then she was still tentative.\u00a0 Give her time, Pa said.\u00a0 He recalled the day when things began to change between them.<\/p>\n

He pretended not to notice her when she came into the barn where he was working. She watched him for a while before she spoke.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cI\u2019m braiding a new bridle.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>She seemed surprised.\u00a0 \u201cDid they teach you that in college?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I learned it from Pa, when I was about your age.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cOh.\u00a0 That was a long time ago, wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cIt\u2019s been a few years, yes. Would you like to give it a try?\u00a0 I can show you how.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cSure.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Adam guided her through the steps, impressed with how quickly she caught on.\u00a0 Her long, nimble fingers were a definite asset.\u00a0 Unlike Joe, who chattered like a magpie through any task, she worked with quiet intent, paying meticulous heed to his instructions.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cLike this?\u201d She held up the braid.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cThat\u2019s good, Jilly; in fact, it\u2019s very good.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>She smiled. \u201cI guess you\u2019re a good teacher.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Hoss interrupted them.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Little Bit.\u00a0 Pa wants you back at the house.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cOkay.\u201d\u00a0 She hopped up and skipped past him out the door. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cLooks like you two are gettin\u2019 along.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cYeah, she wanted me to show her how to braid a bridle.\u00a0 She\u2019s a quick learner, too.\u00a0 Look at this.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Hoss grinned.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe not as quick as you think.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cWell, she\u2019s had near a year of practice.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cYou\u2019re kidding.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cNope.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cI wonder why she didn\u2019t tell me\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>He asked her about it later.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cAre you mad?\u201d She looked worried.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cDo I look mad?\u201d He leaned down and tweaked her nose.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cI just wanted to know you, that\u2019s all. I thought it might help me remember.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>He sat down next to her.\u00a0 \u201cJilly, I didn\u2019t expect you to remember me; you were too young when I left.\u00a0 But that\u2019s all right, because I remember enough for both of us.\u00a0 I remember the day you were born; the day you got your first tooth; the day you took your first step.\u00a0 I even remember the first time you smiled at me. And now when I look at you, I still remember that rosy-cheeked, brown-eyed girl with the laughing face who used to giggle whenever I did this.\u201d He tickled her as he pulled her onto his lap, and she reacted just as he predicted.\u00a0 \u201cSee, there she is. I knew I\u2019d find her again.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>They smiled at each other, and then she settled against his chest with his arms around her. \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re home.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u201cSo am I.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>A whimper brought him back to the present. \u201cJoe, is that you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, honey, it\u2019s me, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her dark eyes registered fear and confusion. \u201cI thought you\u2019d gone.\u00a0 You will stay, won\u2019t you? \u00a0Please don\u2019t leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was holding her hand. \u201cDarling girl, I\u2019m right here. I\u2019m not going anywhere, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

She took a breath and seemed to relax a little. \u201cTell me again about the time Annie came to Washoe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Adam…I just…need to hear your voice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u201d<\/p>\n

He leaned closer and began to tell the story, even though she\u2019d heard it enough times to tell it herself, of how Annie O\u2019Toole showed up at the Diggings with her father, Kevin \u201cHimself\u201d laid out in the back of her wagon next to her trusty cook stove. Adam recounted how he became Annie\u2019s reluctant partner in the Square Meal restaurant, and all the confusion between Swede Lundberg\u2019s claim #2 and the one belonging to \u201cTrapdoor\u201d Gregory Spain, and how Pa presided over the miner\u2019s court. By the time he got to the part where Annie and Swede got hitched to live happily ever after, her eyes were closed, and she was still.<\/p>\n

He kissed her palm, and the knot in his chest nearly suffocated him as the finality of those last moments sank in.<\/p>\n

\u201cJilly, how can I go home without you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Her lashes fluttered like a fading butterfly against her pale cheeks. \u201cI\u2019ll be there,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later he stepped back into the hallway, pausing to put his hand on Teddy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 Celia\u2019s blue eyes were rimmed in red, and she and Adam both watched him withdraw to Jilly\u2019s room and close the door behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe loved her\u00a0too,\u201d she said. \u201dMy heart breaks for both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam murmured his appreciation for her sympathy.\u00a0 Thoughts of hearts yet to be broken weighed heavily on him, those who were blissfully ignorant of what had taken place that day a half a world away from the Ponderosa. \u00a0Four lives forever altered by another one undone.<\/p>\n

In a few days he would be going home\u2014alone, with a grief too vast for words, too deep even for tears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Part Two<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The scenery bounced along outside the window of the clattering coach bearing\u00a0its lone passenger toward his final destination.\u00a0 Not much had changed in the three years\u00a0he’d been away, at least nothing the eye could readily discern.\u00a0 But Adam knew better.<\/p>\n

On this last leg of a long and difficult journey, the scent of pine brought a lump to his throat.\u00a0 It was just a few short miles to where his father and brothers were waiting to\u00a0greet him.\u00a0 But this would not be the\u00a0happy homecoming\u00a0he had envisioned a few months ago.<\/p>\n

He pressed his back against the seat and closed his eyes, soul-weary and haunted by memories.\u00a0 It’s not your fault.\u00a0 Don\u2019t blame yourself, <\/em>she\u2019d said.\u00a0 S<\/em>ometimes he succeeded, though it didn’t lessen the pain.<\/p>\n

He struggled trying to soften the blow in the letter to his family, but there is no kind way to tell your father that his only daughter is dead.\u00a0The truth was cruel and senseless. It shouldn\u2019t have happened. \u00a0If only they hadn’t gone out that day\u2026if only he could have held the reins\u2026if only\u2026.<\/p>\n

It was anguish, not being\u00a0able to\u00a0bring her home.\u00a0 She belonged\u00a0next to her mother, beneath the whispering trees overlooking the lake they both loved, and having to leave her behind only compounded\u00a0his despair.\u00a0Teddy was more than sympathetic, and together they buried her in his favorite garden, under an arbor of roses and the eternally watchful eye of Saint Francis.\u00a0 Before he sailed, Adam settled on the inscription for her headstone, the words that he\u2019d written to his father. \u201cShe died as she lived, gently, full of grace.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t mind solitude, in fact he preferred it sometimes, but he’d never\u00a0felt more alone in his life as when he left England.\u00a0 He knew he was going home to a different world. The voyage was tedious, and he was ill much of the time. In some ways it seemed almost a blessing because it gave him an excuse not to be sociable, sparing him the burden of polite conversation. \u00a0Though often fitful, sleep was his only comfort, and Jilly lived in his dreams.\u00a0 She always seemed to be there whenever he closed his eyes. When he was feverish she\u00a0cooled him\u00a0and when he was chilled she warmed him, always with her soothing voice in his ear.<\/p>\n

It’s all right, Adam.\u00a0Everything’s\u00a0going to be all right.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The\u00a0stagecoach finally rolled to a stop on the dusty main street of Virginia City.\u00a0 He didn’t see his family at first, but when he retrieved his bags from the driver and turned around, they were there.\u00a0 Pa grabbed him and squeezed him so hard he thought he would lose his breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you well, son?\u201d\u00a0 Pa’s\u00a0brow was\u00a0creased with worry.\u00a0 He looked older than Adam remembered.\u00a0 \u201cI know it must have been a very difficult journey.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m all right, Pa. Just bone tired.\u201d He scanned his brother’s\u00a0pained faces and managed a grin.\u00a0 \u201cIt’s good to see you fellas.\u201d\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t think of anything else to say.<\/p>\n

Hoss cupped a big hand on his shoulder and half-smiled.\u00a0 \u201cIt’s good to see you too, brother. You look like you missed a few meals while you were gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

He supposed he was a sorry sight, judging from the way his clothes hung on him.\u00a0 \u201cI was sick on the ship.\u00a0 I guess I haven\u2019t had much of an appetite lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe hadn’t said anything to him yet.\u00a0 They’d had a few words before he and Jilly left for Boston, not all of them pleasant, something to the effect of older brother always thinking he knew what was best for everybody.\u00a0Adam remained firm in his assertion that it was for her welfare, while Joe accused him of being arrogant and using her as an excuse to leave.\u00a0They resolved their differences in the end as they always managed to do, but\u00a0Adam had failed in his promise to take care of Jilly. Could Joe forgive him, or would he lose his youngest brother too?<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe…\u201d<\/p>\n

He got no further before being stifled by a fierce embrace.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome home, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was as if something broke loose inside him then.\u00a0 He nearly choked on the words as he struggled to get them out.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry, Joe.\u00a0 I’m so sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

His knees gave way just before the light failed.<\/p>\n

Voices\u00a0wafted in and out of the shadows, some familiar and some not.\u00a0\u00a0Pa and Hoss and Joe were there, of\u00a0course.\u00a0It no longer surprised him that Jilly was there too.<\/p>\n

The world became sound and fog, shimmering like smoke on water.\u00a0 Back in his own room, in his own bed, he was prodded and poked and had broth spooned into him as though he were an infant.\u00a0\u00a0Without the strength to protest, he was at the mercy of those who seemed intent on coaxing\u00a0his eyes\u00a0open when all he wanted to do was\u00a0sleep forever.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He heard his name clearly and opened his eyes.\u00a0 His father was leaning over him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it you think you should be sorry for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI shouldn\u2019t have\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss poked his head through the door. \u201cHey, Pa, I thought I\u2019d…,” he paused and grinned when he saw Adam. “Well, look who finally woke up. Doc said you\u2019d be right as rain after a few days rest. How\u2019re ya feelin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot bad.\u00a0 Where\u2019s Joe?\u00a0 I need to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in the kitchen with Jilly.\u00a0 She’s got him dryin\u2019 dishes, though she\u2019s liable to fire him if he breaks any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve all had to pitch in, with Hop Sing in San Francisco,” Pa explained.\u00a0 “His sister is ill, but happily she\u2019s improving.\u00a0 We\u2019re expecting him back next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd since you\u2019re recuperatin\u2019 yourself, looks like you\u2019re off the hook,\u201d said Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cSomethin\u2019 wrong, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat up.\u00a0 \u201cDid you just say Jilly is in the kitchen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to see her, right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you wanted to talk to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust get them both up here, will you? And could you hurry, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss threw a puzzled look at his father before leaving the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u00a0 I might be crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense,\u201d said Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019re just getting over a fever.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a moment his brother\u2019s heavy tread on the stairs was joined by two others, lighter and quicker.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe heard you were back in the land of the living,\u201d said Joe with a grin. \u201cIt\u2019s about time you started pullin\u2019 your weight around here again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tease him, Joe,\u201d said Jilly, playfully pushing him aside. \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you awake.\u201d \u00a0She smiled.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve missed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stared at his family, the four of them. \u00a0Could it be possible?\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve missed you, too,\u201d he said, almost afraid to trust his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cDo me a favor.\u00a0 He held out his hand.\u00a0 \u201cPinch me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCareful, Adam,\u201d Joe warned him.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s gotten really mean lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly ignored the remark and sat down on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter? Aren\u2019t we real enough for you?\u201d\u00a0 Her lips brushed Adam\u2019s cheek.\u00a0 \u201cThere. That\u2019s better than a pinch, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

He put a hand up to touch her, but she was just out of reach. \u201cJilly\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Her name floated from his lips as his eyelids struggled against the pale light. The bed had stopped spinning. Not his bed, though.\u00a0 He remembered this room.\u00a0 Celia was still there, Celia with the clear blue eyes and the patient hands. Celia who was not Jilly.<\/p>\n

She smiled at him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a pity you weren\u2019t awake a moment ago. She\u2019s just nodded off,\u00a0 poor dear.\u00a0 Uncle Teddy threatened to remove her bodily if she didn\u2019t at least try to get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked past her to the girl in the chair with a blanket tucked around her. Her hair was a tousled mane loose around her face and there was a ghastly bruise on her cheek, along with a few scratches, but she was breathing. Thank you, God<\/em>. \u00a0He blinked away tears. \u201cShe\u2019s all right, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s mostly exhausted and probably won\u2019t feel like dancing for a while, but your sister is a very lucky young woman, according to Dr. Linton.\u201d Celia put a hand on Jilly\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, don\u2019t wake her,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI made a promise. Besides, I think it will be the best medicine for both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Celia left them alone a moment later as Jilly sobbed in his arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Adam, I was so afraid when you didn\u2019t wake up.\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d lost you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I thought I\u2019d lost you.\u201d He stroked her hair. \u201cThere now, no need to cry.\u00a0 Are you sure you\u2019re all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

She sat up and nodded, wiping her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine, really.\u00a0 I must look an awful mess, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot awful. In fact, I think you\u2019re the most beautiful mess I\u2019ve ever seen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly you could look at me and think something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can think of at least three others who would agree with me in a heartbeat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another tear slipped down her cheek. \u201cAdam, what are we doing? We don\u2019t belong here. I promised Pa I\u2019d look after you, and as soon as you\u2019re able I\u2019m taking you home.\u201d<\/p>\n

A corner of his mouth lifted. \u201cYou are, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no need to argue about who would be taking whom.\u00a0 The important thing was that neither one of them would have to go alone.\u00a0 Together, by grace, they were going home\u2014home to the lake in the mountains, home to the house in the pines and the loved ones waiting there.<\/p>\n

Home where they both belonged.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Mild weather afforded the Cartwrights another opportunity to stroll the manor grounds the day before they sailed.\u00a0 Teddy\u2019s garden was Jilly\u2019s favorite place, and the three of them stopped there late in the afternoon.<\/p>\n

In a secluded corner, a statue of Saint Francis stood near an arbor of roses shading a well-tended grave.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur darling Emma,\u201d read Jilly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been meaning to ask about her. Who was she, Teddy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was a cousin on my father\u2019s side. We grew up together, and I adored her. She died when she was about your age.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a lovely way to be remembered. \u00a0\u00a0She must have been someone very special.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was indeed.\u201d\u00a0 Teddy paused, his smile wistful.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose it\u2019s no coincidence that you remind me of her.\u00a0 Shall we go back to the house?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jilly blushed as she accepted his arm.\u00a0 \u201cAre you coming, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be right there.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was indeed a lovely and tender memorial, one he had never noticed. \u00a0He paused long enough to read the inscription once more.<\/p>\n

Our darling Emma<\/em>
\nShe died as she lived<\/em>
\nGently, full of grace<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bonanza character acknowledgements:\u00a0 Annie O’Toole, Swede Lundberg, and Gregory Spain appeared in “The Saga of Annie O’Toole” (Season One), written by Thomas Thompson.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Angst,\u00a0ESA,\u00a0Family,\u00a0Grief,\u00a0Jilly Cartwright,\u00a0SAS,\u00a0Sister<\/p>\n

For a complete, up to date list of my stories, check out<\/strong>\u00a0JC’s Author Page<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Two Cartwright lives take a dangerous turn during a trip abroad.\u00a0 Will they ever be able to go home again? (Part of the Ties That Bind AU series)<\/p>\n

Rating: K+\u00a0 (4372 words)<\/p>\n

Ties That Bind Series, links to stories of this series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10253,"featured_media":3223,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1005,7,23,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-a-u","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/adam_11.jpg?fit=796%2C638&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10253"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16037"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16037\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3223"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}