Summary: \u00a0Introducing the redhead\u2019s children as guest stars in this Giggly Sister Special for Halloween.<\/p>\n
Rated: K+ \u00a0(2,100 words)<\/p>\n
Trick or Treat<\/strong><\/p>\n The hammering on the front door of the Ponderosa ranch house wasn\u2019t an unusual occurrence, and everyone seated in front of the fire looked at Joe. Except the Giggly Sisters, that is. They looked at Ben. Well, it was his house after all. Why didn\u2019t he open the door?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a martyred sigh, Ben levered himself to his feet and went over to answer it. He half expected the caller to be some sort of hoodlum, or long-lost relative, so he received something of a shock.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Standing on his doorstep were a small witch, a devil and a wolf!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTrick or treat,<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Trick or treat,<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Give us something nice to eat.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If you don\u2019t, we don\u2019t care,<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n We\u2019ll just steal your underwear!\u201d<\/em> chanted the apparitions.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The redhead lowered her head into her hands and groaned. \u201cIt\u2019s Halloween,\u201d she mourned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hearing this, Ben rounded on her. \u201cAre these yours?\u201d he demanded, as the two girls trooped in, followed by the wolf, who had remained silent thus far.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the redhead nodded miserably, Kelly and Elen trotted over to kiss Joe and the blonde soundly. \u201cHello, Auntie Blonde,\u201d chirruped Elen, who had a green face, somewhat stained around the mouth by either tomato soup or beans. The blonde fervently hoped it was the former.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGreat wolf costume,\u201d Hoss commented.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe went rather pale. He always got nervous when there was a wolf around. He glanced at Adam, but he didn\u2019t have a gun anywhere near.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIsn\u2019t trick or treating rather anachronistic?\u201d drawled Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The youngsters gave him a hard look. \u201cDo you know what that word means?\u201d Kelly asked him. \u201cBecause if you aren\u2019t sure, you can ask my mum or Auntie Blonde. They know everything!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Giggly Sisters looked modest. They did this extremely well. Almost as well as Joe did his appealing, hard-to-resist, utterly gorgeous and devastatingly handsome look. Loyal viewers can attest to the impact of this. If they can still breathe, that is.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cActually, we prefer to call it guising,\u201d the blonde explained, looking carefully at the wolf, whose mask was slipping to reveal a dark brown furry snout.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSame principle, less grasping,\u201d added the redhead. \u201cIn Scotland, the children have to sing a song, or tell jokes before they get their sweeties.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOr candy, as you might say,\u201d amplified the blonde. \u201cAnd of course, we have dooking and treacle scones\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just as the words left her mouth, Hop Sing trundled into the living room, carrying a large tray, piled up with large, triangular scones, a reel of string and a large jar of thick, black sticky treacle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust the very dab!\u201d exclaimed the redhead and promptly roped the Cartwrights into looping string across the room, while the blonde rooted out the family bath-tub, last seen doing sterling service in The Horsebreaker<\/em> and filled it up with water. Luckily, the fruit bowl was full to overflowing with apples, so within a short space of time, she was encouraging Adam to open the games.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust kneel down and then grab an apple with your teeth,\u201d she explained. The children encouraged him loudly and, with a slightly pained smile, Adam bent over and made a valiant effort to retrieve an apple. It was extraordinarily difficult! Once again, he gave thanks to the valiant inventor of the remarkable Toffee Toupee. What a pity it wasn\u2019t around during the mud fight in Springtime<\/em>!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eventually, after several abortive attempts, Adam arose triumphantly, albeit a trifle damply, with an apple firmly clenched between his teeth. There was a round of applause and the wolf shuffled forward to take his turn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBags I get first shot with the treacle scones!\u201d Joe bounded forward. This game didn\u2019t look too tricky, he thought. All you had to do was to take a bite out of a scone, hanging from a string and liberally smeared in treacle. The redhead beamed happily at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHands behind your back!\u201d she instructed. Joe looked slightly bemused, but obeyed. Just as he was about to take a large chomp out of the scone, the blonde gave the string a sharp tug, and Joe found his ear was dripping with treacle. The wolf snickered happily and licked the worst of the mess off. Nevertheless, Joe had a nasty feeling that his curls were now bedaubed in treacle. And although the wolf looked rather familiar, perhaps it was tempting fate just a little to allow it in such close proximity\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cStop looking at me like that!\u201d protested Adam. \u201cIt was an accident!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben thought it was best to try to change the subject. Adam was still racked with guilt about the unfortunate accident, after all. Mind you, it wasn\u2019t quite clear just why he had thought Joe was a wolf. After all, who had ever seen a wolf with curly hair and sticky-out ears?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you going to sing a song then?\u201d Ben asked Elen. The redhead noticed he didn\u2019t call her \u2018darling\u2019, like he did every other little girl who appeared on the ranch. She fervently hoped Elen wouldn\u2019t agree to sing. She still hadn\u2019t quite grown into the part that involved staying on key\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unfortunately, Elen didn\u2019t require any more prompting. She launched into a rousing rendition of \u2018Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer\u2019, having had to learn it \u2013 again \u2013 for the school Christmas cd. Explaining that it was a Christmas song and shouldn\u2019t be sung in October was proving very tricky.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s nearly as good as you,\u201d Joe told Adam and the blonde had to cough hastily at the look on his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou have a go at dooking, Hoss,\u201d Kelly encouraged. She had thus far stood back and looked superior, a trick all modern teens learned \u2013 some of them before their teens. She leant her trident against the staircase and grinned at the wolf, who had managed to dook for half a dozen apples, all quite successfully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss knelt awkwardly by the tub and began to dook. But, once more, he had been unable to find the Toupee Toffee, and his rug slid off and floated amongst the apples. However, both Elen and Joe fell about laughing and Hoss was so charmed by this, that he didn\u2019t mind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAren\u2019t you going to do something?\u201d Ben asked Kelly, who shrugged and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eyeing Adam with a great deal of meaning, she intoned, \u201cMatilda told such dreadful lies, it made one gasp, and stretch ones eyes\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n At this point the sisters and Joe had to make a break for some fresh air. However, there was a sharp frost that night, so they didn\u2019t linger. As they went back in, Elen could be heard asking, \u201cWhy haven\u2019t you got a lantern made from a neep?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA what<\/em>?\u201d Adam asked, as Hoss almost drowned trying to get the last apple away from the wolf. He missed and fell headlong into the tub.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA neep,\u201d repeated the blonde, in her best telephone voice. \u201cA turnip or swede. They\u2019re called neeps in the Scottish vernacular.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOr you could have a big orange thing instead,\u201d Elen went on. She was only 8 \u00bd, and couldn\u2019t remember what a pumpkin was called. The one she\u2019d seen in the local supermarket was bigger than her head, which had impressed her immensely.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd why is the downstairs bedroom light on?\u201d Kelly asked. She had inherited her mother\u2019s distressing practical streak. \u201cDo you have a guest?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Cartwrights assumed various looks of terror, for it was a well-established fact that all guests who resided in the downstairs bedroom were either mad (Tirza, in Dark Star<\/em>) or bad (Clay, in First Born<\/em>). Hop Sing shuffled through in his inimitable way (Wardrobe kept providing him with slippers that were three sizes too large).<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI lit the lamp, just in case,\u201d he informed the company.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIn case of what?\u201d Ben demanded, testily. He kept a keen eye on all expenditures and was what Scots would describe as \u201ccanny\u201d or \u201cgey close wi\u2019 a bawbee\u201d. He preferred to think of himself as prudent.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGhoulies and ghosties and long-leggety beasties?\u201d theorized the redhead. The wolf looked around nervously.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI hope you always knock the bottom out of your eggshells,\u201d added the blonde.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was a pause.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d Adam just knew he was going to regret asking this question. He was right.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTo stop witches sailing out to sea in them, of course! Haven\u2019t you ever read Macbeth?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI may have perused it, while at college,\u201d Adam admitted. \u201cBut that was a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIn a galaxy far, far away,\u201d intoned Kelly, who hadn\u2019t as yet met with Shakespeare, but recognized a cue when she heard it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd you do hang your horseshoes with the open ends up, don\u2019t you?\u201d asked the redhead. \u201cOtherwise the luck will run out.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI thought the witches swung on them when they were that way up,\u201d commented the blonde.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s an old wives tale,\u201d the redhead assured her. \u201cAfter all, how many witches have you spotted swinging on my horseshoe?\u201d This was a splendid example. The redhead had had that horseshoe for more years than she cared to remember, and never once had they spotted a witch swinging on it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s put all the lights out and tell ghost stories,\u201d Joe suggested.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, good!\u201d Elen exclaimed and climbed onto Ben\u2019s lap, twining her arms firmly around his neck and almost choking him. To further demonstrate her love, she planted an extremely soggy kiss on his cheek and confided, \u201cI\u2019m going to marry you.\u201d Ben looked stunned. Adam looked horrified; an eight year old step-mother? It didn\u2019t bear thinking about!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThis is a nightmare!\u201d he moaned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sisters exchanged a glance. \u201cAren\u2019t nightmares a part of Halloween?\u201d queried the redhead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n At that moment, the wolf, who had been feeling a little neglected, jumped onto Joe\u2019s knee. Kelly looked affronted, for she had been planning on commandeering Joe\u2019s knee herself. However, before she could sit down anywhere (the sofa looked hideously uncomfortable, she thought and the floor looked none too clean), there was a scratching at the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnswer the door, there\u2019s a good girl,\u201d the redhead encouraged and Kelly heaved a martyred sigh and answered it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Given the number of peculiar people who knocked, or even scratched, at that door, sending Kelly might not have been the best thing to do. She opened the door and another little silver grey wolf cub stood there. It howled once, and rushed across the room to land on the redhead\u2019s lap.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA wolf!\u201d Adam cried. \u201cQuick, get a gun!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh no you don\u2019t!\u201d cried the redhead. \u201cThis is our wolf, Silverado. He\u2019s our new watch wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen who\u2019s this?\u201d Joe asked, as the wolf on his lap gave a wriggle and the costume fell away to reveal Paw, the sisters\u2019 pet bear. He grinned wolfishly at Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do a watch-wolf do?\u201d asked Hoss, thinking the wolf looked about the right size for a snack. He would probably have to skin it though. That anteater he\u2019d had with the skin on had come back on him something awful.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt watches for things,\u201d Joe explained, less than helpfully. \u201cBad things!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re sure it isn\u2019t a werewolf?\u201d Adam enquired, casting a longing glance at the gun rack, which was overflowing with guns. The Cartwrights were inordinately fond of giving one another guns for birthdays and\/or Christmas. Or it might just have been a lack of imagination. In series one, there was even a secondary gun rack, on the outside wall of the downstairs bedroom. But this was obviously judged to be too great a temptation for the various miscreants who took up temporary residence in there, for it soon disappeared.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPositive!\u201d the blonde reassured him. \u201cAlthough it\u2019s Halloween, we haven\u2019t wound up a spell by going three times around a church widdershins, so we\u2019re quite safe from any such beasties!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave a small sigh. Life was very hard, sometimes. He had hoped that living out in the back of beyond, he would be able to enjoy the quiet solitude of his surroundings. But no! There was a constant stream of visitors to his door, either neighbors pleading for help, or long-lost friends\/relatives coming to stay. He did a quick calculation and realized the Giggly Sisters had now been in residence for 10 months! They really were remarkably tenacious. And they never stopped talking. Still, he mused, things could have been worse \u2013 Joe might have married that awful Gipsy girl, Tirza\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTrick or Treat?\u201d Joe breathed into the sisters\u2019 ears. \u201cI know some very interesting tricks involving handcuffs and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201c\u2026then we get our treat?\u201d finished the redhead, grinning broadly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben wondered if Tirza had left a forwarding address. Adam wondered if there were any blue dresses left in the attic. And Hoss just wondered if wolf was more suited to roasting or stewing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n *****End*****<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n