{"id":1619,"date":"2009-08-20T15:22:44","date_gmt":"2009-08-20T19:22:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1619"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:22:28","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:22:28","slug":"waste-not-want-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1619","title":{"rendered":"Waste Not, Want Not (by the Giggly Sisters)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>We all know that thrift is a virtue, but the Cartwrights seem to take it to extremes, as the Giggly Sisters show.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+ \u00a0(1,750 words)<\/p>\n

Waste Not, Want Not<\/strong><\/p>\n

The bunkhouse was making one of its rather rare visits to the Ponderosa. It had shunned setting down at the right-hand side of the house and had instead plumped for locating itself next to the kitchen, where it could cause maximum disruption to any unsuspecting rider coming into the yard. Had this been the cause of the third Mrs Cartwright\u2019s unfortunate squishing under the hooves of her horse? Unfortunately, dear reader, we will never know, for the scriptwriter neglected to include that rather vital scene into Marie, My Love<\/em>, even if there was a dramatic shot of Joe falling off Cochise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave a small nod of satisfaction: the ranch hands had been absent for far too long, causing the Cartwrights to do all manner of boring and rather inconsequential jobs around the ranch. Consequently, the Virginia City crime rate had soared, for Roy Coffee, the antediluvian sheriff, relied heavily on Ben and his sons to solve all crimes within a 10 mile radius. The Giggly Sisters had often wondered why Roy was retained as Sheriff, for he was an extremely elderly man, who moved at a snail\u2019s pace, all the while chomping on his moustache in a reflective, but highly disconcerting manner. The sound engineers dreaded the episodes when Roy appeared, for his joints creaked alarmingly and gave them all kinds of bother and long nights in the editing suite.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, go and check on the men, please,\u201d Ben requested stentoriously. Buck had almost nodded off again but the sound of his master\u2019s voice roused him from his slumbers, causing him to prance skittishly around the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure there\u2019s something wrong with that horse\u2019s legs,\u201d the blonde observed. \u201cThey seem to be completely double-jointed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat back and watched as Buck did his equine interpretation of River Dance. Ben should have been used to this by now, but he detested the all-too frequent occasions when Buck acted up and longed once more for a nice spell doing the books. He hadn\u2019t added up the trees for a couple of weeks now, so there would be plenty to keep him occupied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPA!\u201d Hoss burbled joyfully, causing Paw, the Giggly Sister\u2019s pet bear to shake himself nervously. Hoss hadn\u2019t quite assimilated the different vowel sounds, which caused all manner of problems.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope that animal\u2019s not got fleas!\u201d Adam remarked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shot him a baleful glare. \u201cIf he has, we\u2019ll just scrub him with that sulphur soap Hoss used in Bitter Water<\/em>,\u201d he said calmly, but with a certain edge to his voice and a flash of anger in his voice. For some reason, Adam didn\u2019t like the little bear and shunned physical contact with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not a very tactile person,\u201d he explained. The redhead tilted her head to one side and regarded him quizzically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou hugged the mad Irish female in My Brother\u2019s Keeper<\/em>,\u201d she reminded Adam. \u201cAnd put your arm around her waist!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was under stress!\u201d he protested. \u201cI\u2019d just shot Joe!\u201d He paused for a split second, before adding \u201cAccidentally!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOn purpose!\u201d Joe said, not quite sotto voce.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPA!\u201d Hoss was getting impatient now, having been totally ignored. \u201cThem hands is back and so\u2019s the log-cabin patchwork quilt!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t seen that since Showdown<\/em>!\u201d Adam reminisced.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was reappeared in the Keith\u2019s bunkhouse in Bitter Water<\/em>,\u201d the blonde told him helpfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlong with the scary Indian picture from Joe\u2019s bedroom showing up in the saloon,\u201d added the redhead. Even her children, usually sublimely impervious to things like that, had noticed. \u201cAnd the horse statue in the living room appears in Boss Sladen\u2019s office in The Boss<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt sometimes appears in my room, too,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing goes to waste around here,\u201d Ben said. \u201cWe like to share with our neighbours. After all, we have so much more than most of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike the chestnut horse in Amigo<\/em>,\u201d smirked the redhead. \u201cThe one that the posse were riding, that appeared in the next scene with the outlaws?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the big white horse from The Gift<\/em>,\u201d said the blonde. \u201cThat also appeared in Song in the Dark<\/em> and various others.\u201d It had been a hideously ugly brute, she reflected.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s also a liver chestnut with a thick bushy mane that appears in several eps, too,\u201d added the redhead, who noticed every single horse for miles around, and could tell their sex at 50 paces. \u201cAnd your team of chestnut carriage horses, that suddenly appear pulling the hired rig in MBK<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how many times does the Ponderosa yard appear as a different place?\u201d asked the blonde. \u201cThunder Man, Hanging Posse, Lonely House<\/em>\u2026 I could go on and on, but I won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked rather ticked off. He had quite fancied the ranch house when it was done up for Hanging Posse<\/em>. All those fringed curtains had quite appealed to him. It would save him building proper walls inside the house. Of course, there was the small matter of the amazing disappearing wall just inside the front door\u2026 This was clearly visible in external shots, but disappeared once you got into the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I just hope they don’t try to recycle that royal-blue dress again,” the redhead murmured. It wasn’t particularly nice to start off with and had appeared in My Brother’s Keeper, Far, Far Better Thing<\/em> and Woman of Fire.<\/em> Adam gave her one of his less-than-wholehearted smiles, in which he showed his bottom teeth, but not his top set. The sisters were very intrigued by this and had spent hours staring in the mirror and contorting their faces in vain attempts to emulate him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben settled into his fireside chair and Adam bagged the blue velvet chair. As ever, it was looking rather ratty and threadbare in patches. The sofa had been recovered several times, but no-one had ever thought to do the same for the blue chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I wonder why they never get all the seats recovered in the same fabric?” the blonde asked, trying in vain to get comfortable on the sofa. It was hideously uncomfortable, which was why Ben and Adam avoided it like the plague.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood up and stretched, trying to get the kinks out of his back. He made a wild grab as his trousers tried to escape from the belt. “I just wish I had a pair of pants with belt loops on them!” he moaned. It was a source of constant aggrievement to him, for he was the only member of the family thus deprived. Then again, apart from this small matter, his trousers were just about perfect in all other aspects, especially the way they hugged his lean hips\u2026 (Joe was blissfully unaware that the said trousers were lamentably short in the leg, so that he often gave the impression of wearing Capri pants. The sisters decided not to enlighten him.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“You’ve got belt loops on your brown suit,” the redhead reminded him. “We noticed them when you wore it in San Francisco<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The blonde smiled at Ben in a disarming fashion. He had come to dread that look, for it always presaged an awkward question.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Why did you keep your saddle in your bedroom in that episode?” she asked. \u201cWouldn\u2019t it have been more convenient to leave it in the stable with the horse? I do find that having the saddle nearby makes it easier to tack the horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTack?\u201d Ben repeated. \u201cI don\u2019t tack my horse to the walls. What do you mean tack?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s what we call saddling your horse,\u201d the redhead explained, kindly. \u201cIt involves putting on the bridle, as well as the saddle.\u201d She gave him a big smile. \u201cSo why did you have the saddle in the bedroom?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2026 just in case it was stolen, I suppose,\u201d Ben stuttered. He did so hate these awkward questions the sisters asked. And just when he thought they had changed the subject (tack? The Brits tacked their horses? How odd!) they repeated the question, so he still had to answer it. It really wasn\u2019t fair. He had wondered why his saddle was there, but it was one of those things you just didn\u2019t ask about. Like so many other things on the Ponderosa, he supposed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Perhaps things had started with the tragic death of Marie: squashed to lifelessness right outside the front door. Nevertheless, Ben had never found it necessary to move. The Cartwrights were strong, stalwart men (even if Joe was an economy-sized version). They could cope with the daily, heartbreaking reminders. Then there was the mystery of Adam\u2019s college education. Exactly which university had he graduated from? And how had he managed to complete a degree in architecture when the subject wasn\u2019t even on the curriculum and other architects had to serve an apprenticeship?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And why had he allowed Adam to design the house? All right, he had only been a child, but still, it was deuced difficult living with bedrooms that never stayed still for more than one episode and as for that bit at the side of the stairs! It was far too narrow to perform any useful purpose and was a veritable dust trap. When it was there, of course, for the stairs appeared to be on castors and moved in and out from the wall with alarming regularity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mind you, at least all those highly convenient relatives and life-long friends never stayed too long. The downstairs bedroom was too noisy, being cunningly located between the entranceway, dining room and kitchen. But who were all those people and where did they go to once they left? Most of them never even appeared to send a thank-you letter. Of course, it was a well-established tradition on the show that the only postal communications they received generally signalled imminent disaster. Ben looked as his three sons and hoped that if any of them travelled away from the ranch they would write regularly. Adam had a strange, uneasy premonition and wriggled uneasily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The blonde touched Ben\u2019s arm gently. \u201cAnd there\u2019s another incongruity. Why on earth did the Bitter Water<\/em> scriptwriter squander that marvellous opportunity to have a wonderful \u201cJoe in the bath\u201d scene?\u201d That was indeed the question, one which fans had endlessly debated but no satisfactory conclusion was ever reached.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was left to the redhead to have the final word. \u201cYou want to know the greatest incongruity? Four words, that\u2019s all it takes. The Dreaded Jamie: why?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And for once, no-one could think of a thing to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****End****<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0We all know that thrift is a virtue, but the Cartwrights seem to take it to extremes, as the Giggly Sisters show.<\/p>\n

Rated: K+ \u00a0(1,750 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":474,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1552,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1552","url_meta":{"origin":1619,"position":0},"title":"Kidnapping the Brothers (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0In their 50th outing, the Giggly Sisters join forces with their friends from the BonanzainAussie board. 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Why does Hoss talk like that? Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01400","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Hoss-smile.jpg?fit=285%2C326&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1562,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1562","url_meta":{"origin":1619,"position":2},"title":"Mirror Mirror… (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Miscellaneous musings as the Cartwrights prepare for an evening out, keenly observed by the Giggly Sisters. 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Rated: K+ \u00a0(1,400 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1523,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1523","url_meta":{"origin":1619,"position":4},"title":"Home Thoughts (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The Giggly Sisters cast their inimitable eye over some morning thoughts. Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a01500","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1595,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1595","url_meta":{"origin":1619,"position":5},"title":"The Mystery of the Room Behind the Stairs (by the Giggly Sisters)","author":"The Giggly Sisters","date":"August 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Deep behind the stairs of the Ponderosa lurked a deadly secret - the Giggly Sisters go where other writers fear to tread. 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