{"id":16268,"date":"2005-08-01T05:48:48","date_gmt":"2005-08-01T09:48:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16268"},"modified":"2026-07-28T11:43:31","modified_gmt":"2026-07-28T15:43:31","slug":"hearts-afire-1-by-christy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16268","title":{"rendered":"Hearts Afire #1 (by Christy)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0As the first anniversary of Marie\u2019s death approaches, Ben takes the boys to San Francisco in an attempt to divert them from sad memories. Instead the family is faced with their worst nightmares. Can the fire in their hearts keep them going long enough to survive one more tragic event?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 (14,680 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearts Afire<\/strong><\/p>\n

Prologue<\/p>\n

Fire\u2026heat, smoke; screams filled the air as Ben Cartwright tried again and again to get to the second floor of the Celeste Hotel in San Francisco. Somewhere up there, he was certain he could hear his baby son screaming for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa! Papa! Come get me,\u201d Little Joe\u2019s voice cried out. Ben knew the plea was all in his head. Still he brushed past the guests all rushing out of the hotel rather than in while his first born son tried to pull him back.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, no! You can\u2019t go up there.\u201d Flames licked the walls on either side of the stairway and the top of the stairs was already fully engulfed. As Ben reached the top, his sleeves were lit by orange flickering waves of heat.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d he heard himself scream while Adam\u2019s voice screamed his name and the boy pulled him back down the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet down, Pa,\u201d Adam ordered, using his own shirt to smother the flames consuming Ben\u2019s sleeves. Ben, in shock, his lungs filled with smoke finally allowed himself to be drawn out of the three-story building only to collapse in the dirt outside as volunteers raced to save the building in vain.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Adam,\u201d Hoss Cartwright cried. \u201cI caint find him. I cain\u2019t find the little fella anywhere. Pa, yer hurt.\u201d Twelve-year old Hoss was as close to panic as anyone had ever seen him. He knelt beside his father, taking off his jacket and putting it over him. Around them people cried out in despair as the building collapsed in a crescendo of wood, ash, and flames.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Adam gasped, his brown eyes staring at the charred wood in front of him. Ben struggled to sit up as Hoss\u2019 voice followed his brother\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cPunkin?\u201d Hoss jumped up running towards the building. Adam raced after him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, no! Hoss, you can\u2019t. It\u2019s too late. It\u2019s too late.\u201d Adam was still strong enough to overcome the boy. Hoss\u2019 sobs joined Adam\u2019s. Together they made their way back to Ben, back to their father. Ben lay on the ground. As his sons joined him, they could only hear him whispering in his pain and grief, whispering for that one person they could not produce no matter what they did.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, Joseph\u2026my baby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

I<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Hoss Cartwright cried out. \u201cPa! Joe!\u201d Sitting up in the strange bed, Hoss Cartwright looked around in fear. His bedroom door opened to let in a shadowy figure who lit a lamp, showing his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here, Little Brother. You have a dream?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Placid even in his fear, Hoss didn\u2019t offer any more information. Adam sat on the side of the bed, hugging the boy close. For several seconds the boys comforted each other. When they pulled back, Adam squeezed Hoss\u2019 leg.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? What are we going to do? Pa\u2026he aint getting much better. And Joe\u2026he\u2019s gone aint he?\u201d It took courage for Hoss to ask about his baby brother. It took more courage for Adam to answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Joe is dead, Hoss,\u201d Adam choked out. \u201cWe can\u2019t find him anywhere.\u201d Hoss grabbled with tears falling down his broad cheeks. He dabbled at them with his sheet.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid, Adam. Cain\u2019t we just take Pa and go home? Aint no reason ta stay here is there?\u201d Adam\u2019s chocolate colored eyes reflected his thoughts. This was a nightmare, far worse than anything he had ever experienced before. Marie\u2019s death just a year before had devastated the family. In an effort to distract his son\u2019s as the first anniversary neared, Ben brought the boys to San Francisco. His generous act had ended in tragedy, leaving Ben injured and the boys alone to cope by themselves. Inger\u2019s death, the long journey across the country, even losing Marie didn\u2019t compare to the agony that ripped through him at the thought of his baby brother\u2019s death or his father\u2019s suffering or his own grief. He nodded. Hoss was right.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould going home make you feel better, Little Brother?\u201d he asked gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then that\u2019s what we\u2019ll do.\u201d Hoss fairly threw himself at Adam. After Adam helped Hoss to lay down and rest, he saw the boy was still crying.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, would you like me to stay with you tonight?\u201d Hoss nodded. Adam, dressed in his own nightshirt, laid down next to the child.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa won\u2019t leave me will ya?\u201d How well Adam understood Hoss\u2019 fear. How often did he feel that vulnerable as a small child when all he had in the world was his father? At least now, the two of them had each other and Pa if he got well and there was no fear of money. They had enough to get them home, home to the Ponderosa with Ben and the nurse they had hired to take care of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise, Hoss, I promise. I won\u2019t leave you, not ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Adam.\u201d Hoss laid back in the bed. Adam tried to sleep, but there was nothing to ease the tension that kept him from peace if sleeping had allowed him that pleasure. Getting up, he walked out of the bedroom, leaving the lamp lit for Hoss. In the main living area, there was a small glowering fire in the fireplace. He stoked it up, sitting down in front of it. Pictures of his family just a year ago came to him. Pa, Marie holding Little Joe, Hoss following him around the ranch like a puppy dog. Now Marie was gone and his baby brother too. As for his father, he hadn\u2019t been sensible since the fire. He was awake, his burns treated, but his mind unable to grasp this latest tragedy. Adam couldn\u2019t bring himself to look in the room where his father was resting. He hated seeing him that way, hated\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d he gasped in agony. \u201cOh Pa, what are we going to do?\u201d When there was no answer, Adam realized he was the one who was alone, truly alone. Leaning his head into his arm, he wept, soft cries at first, then huge convulsive sobs that released his grief for his family. How could this be happening\u2026and what could he do to bring his father and brother through it\u2026and himself? Adam wished he knew.<\/p>\n

Morning came all too quickly\u2026or perhaps all too slowly.
\nAdam was up and dressed by the time Hoss opened his eyes. He talked to the nurse who fed Ben his breakfast, asking her if his father was strong enough for the trip home. She was hesitant, encouraging him to talk it over with the doctor. Adam planned to do just that. After he and Hoss had eaten breakfast, he knew he had to go out and look one more time for his baby brother. As he put his napkin down on the makeshift table in the living room, he looked over to his younger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you have to stay here with Pa. I need to go out and make arrangements for us to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to stay here,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cI want to go with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cI understand how you feel, truly I do, Hoss. But the best way you can help now is to stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause there are places I have to go that Pa and I probably both wish you didn\u2019t have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYer a going ta look for Little Brother aint ya?\u201d Adam didn\u2019t have to answer. He grasped Hoss\u2019 shoulder and squeezed gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t leave the hotel, Hoss under any circumstances, do you understand me? Hoss, please, I have to know you are safe.\u201d Hoss nodded. The two young men hugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll stay here, Adam. Dontcha worry none about me.\u201d Adam gave the boy a reassuring smile. Leaving the hotel was almost a relief. Outside the air was a little damp, but cool and crisp for the early November morning. A patchy fog kept the sun from shining, kind of like how Adam\u2019s heart felt, covered with its own numbing emotions. He stopped again at the morgue near the police station. All the victims from the fire that could be retrieved had been brought there. No further bodies had been found in the last twenty-four hours. No children\u2019s bodies had been found either, Adam learned. His relief was immense or so it would have been he thought\u2026except Little Joe wasn\u2019t standing in front of him. Leaving the morgue, he went to the police station. Sergeant Fred Boil rolled his eyes at the sight of the young man who had haunted the station ever since the fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam I thought I told you I would notify you if I had news about your brother,\u201d he said before Adam could say a word.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you told me and I\u2019m still here. I had an idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn idea?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought maybe, just maybe there is a possibility that Little Joe was rescued and someone found him. I\u2019d like to put up a reward.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, there are at least ten people unaccounted for from that fire,\u201d the sergeant objected. \u201cYa put out a reward and every low life in the city will be after ya. What\u2019ll yer pa say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy pa would be doing the same thing if he could,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cSergeant, my brother is six years old. A year ago, his mother left him abruptly and without explanation. He still has nightmares. Now, he could still be out there, frightened and alone. What would you do?\u201d Adam\u2019s logic was formidable.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose when ya put it that way, but I think yer wasting your time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my time to waste,\u201d Adam retorted. \u201cNow who do I see?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYer looking at him,\u201d the sergeant answered. After a half hour a $2,000 reward had been offered for the whereabouts of Little Joe Cartwright. A description of the boy and circumstances of his disappearance was noted. Sergeant Boil would be the contact, he agreed, not that he was too happy.<\/p>\n

\u201cYer a determined young man, Adam,\u201d the sergeant told him. Adam didn\u2019t dignify that comment with an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m hoping to take my father and brother home within a few days,\u201d Adam told the sergeant. \u201cYou can reach us by notifying Sheriff Roy Coffee in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill do,\u201d Sergeant Boil agreed. \u201cI hope someone finds your brother, Adam. I got a boy of my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Sergeant.\u201d Adam left the police station behind. Walking past people who were intent on their daily lives, he wondered how everything could be so normal for them. They had no clue what was happening to the Cartwright\u2019s, the nightmare the family was facing. Adam wondered how many people passed him facing the same kind or a similar nightmare. He breathed deeply of the crisp air, ignoring the wagons, horses, cabs, buckboards, men, women and children around him. Arriving back at the hotel, he stood outside, his mind picturing the debris, the ashes, the wood and flames that were the last he had seen of the Celeste Hotel. This one wasn\u2019t as nice, but it was clean and the staff was helpful to the two boys who were essentially alone with a seriously ill parent. Adam did not want to go inside. Putting one foot in front of the other, he did. Upstairs he entered the hotel rooms. It was quiet, too quiet. Joe should have been there, running up to him, throwing questions at him. Joe!<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Hoss cried coming out of the second bedroom where Ben Cartwright was supposedly resting. \u201cAdam, Pa\u2019s awake, really awake. He was asking fer ya. Where ya been?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust out, Hoss.\u201d He patted the boy on the back. Hoss gave him a small smile. Adam took off his jacket putting it on the sofa. Hoss followed Adam into the bedroom where the shades were still half drawn. The nurse left Adam and Ben alone. Adam felt as if his heart were in his throat while he approached his father\u2019s bed. Sitting down he thought Ben was asleep until his father\u2019s brown eyes met his.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? Adam! Where\u2026where\u2019ve you been, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLong story, Pa,\u201d Adam answered. \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, do you feel strong enough to go home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHome? We aren\u2019t home?\u201d Adam did a double take.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? You don\u2019t know where you are?\u201d Ben looked around the room. He shook his head. Now Adam\u2019s heart sank down to the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re still in San Francisco, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a fire. You were burned on your hands and arms. You were trying\u2026well\u2026trying to get to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben sighed. \u201cJoseph! Oh my God.\u201d Adam couldn\u2019t stand watching the memories flood back to his father. Ben tried to get up, tried to get out of bed. Adam quickly grabbed his arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, No! No! That\u2019s not going to help Joe now. You have to stay in bed. You have to get well for you and me and Hoss. He needs you, more than you know.\u201d Hoss\u2019 name seemed to quiet the father. Tears formed in those deep chocolate eyes. Ben grabbed Adam\u2019s hand with his own wrapped ones. He pleaded with his son to give him reassurance.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me you found Joseph, Adam. Tell me you found your brother. Please, Adam.\u201d The young man looked down. \u201cAdam?\u201d Adam shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry, I can\u2019t. I can\u2019t.\u201d Ben seemed to age in front of his eldest son\u2019s eyes, his body sagging back against the bed as if he could ignore the truth if he tried hard enough. Adam knew how that felt. It was how he felt over the last three days. He hurried on to explain what he had done over the last few days.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Hoss, wants to go home! I put a reward out for anyone who finds Little Joe. They\u2019ll contact the police here or Sheriff Coffee. Pa, we need to go home. I think it\u2019s the best thing for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy baby?\u201d Ben muttered. \u201cWe can\u2019t leave him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t know where he is!\u201d Adam exclaimed. \u201cHoss needs you and he needs the Ponderosa. So do I.\u201d Ben seemed to come back to the present. Wearily, he nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, Son,\u201d Ben admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hired a nurse to care for ya. Shall we ask her to come back with us, to the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing,\u201d Ben said. \u201cCan help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir. Pa\u2026we\u2019ll get through this,\u201d Adam said. \u201cWon\u2019t we?\u201d Adam wondered if his father could see how desperate he was. Ben was always there for him when he could be. The older man swallowed and spoke, taking the world off his son\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout Joseph\u2026it will be tough,\u201d Ben admitted. \u201cWe\u2019ll do our best though. You put a reward up for Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d Ben nodded and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood man. That\u2019s my son. Make the arrangements, Adam. We\u2019ll go home and we\u2019ll find your brother. We\u2019ll find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if we don\u2019t?\u201d Ben closed his eyes. Adam didn\u2019t press the subject. Ben wiped away his tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa. I\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d Adam leaned his head down on Ben\u2019s chest. He felt his father\u2019s bandaged hand on his back. For the moment, father and son comforted each other. When Hoss came in, he laid down next to Ben. The three remaining Cartwright\u2019s could only give comfort and love to each other, mourning in silence all the while the missing member of their family, a six-year old boy who possessed their hearts in his and was most likely lost to them, forever.<\/p>\n

Chapter 2<\/p>\n

Little Joe\u2019s head hurt, just plain hurt. Tossing in bed, the little boy tried to remember if he had been roughing wrestling with his big brothers again, specially Hoss who was getting bigger and bigger and sometimes hit out harder than he wanted to. Pa would sure be mad about that. Pa! Pa, Little Joe thought. He wanted his father and mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa! Pa!\u201d he cried out, opening his hazel eyes to find himself in a strange room. All too quickly it dawned on Little Joe that his mother wouldn\u2019t come, couldn\u2019t come. She was with the angels Pa said. \u201cPa!\u201d The door to the room opened, a lamp chasing the darkness away. An older lady, lots older than his mother came into the room. Her blond hair was untidy, but her smile was kind.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d he asked with a tremor in his little voice. \u201cWhere\u2019s my pa and my brothers?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brothers?\u201d Her voice and his made Joe\u2019s head cringe in pain. His hands went to his head, his voice moaning his discomfort, tears coming to his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt hurts,\u201d he whispered now. \u201cIt hurts bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSh,\u201d she crooned, sitting down next to him. \u201cSh. It will be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! I want my pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot right now. Right now you have to rest, so your head feels better.\u201d She tried to take him in her arms, but he resisted her efforts.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! You aren\u2019t my ma. Leave me lone. Leave me lone.\u201d Pulling himself away from the lady he didn\u2019t know Little Joe scrunched himself up in the bed as small as he could. He heard voices talking, but didn\u2019t listen. He must have fallen asleep for when he was aware of anything again, it was light out and his head didn\u2019t hurt so much. He was resting in the lady\u2019s lap he found. She was holding him in a rocking chair. Her chest rose and fell the way his mama\u2019s did when she was sleeping. Joe wanted his father. He had to find him. Dressed only in a white night shirt, the little boy slipped out of the lady\u2019s lap, edging towards the door. Maybe his pa was waiting for him outside. Pa wouldn\u2019t leave him. Before he could touch the door it swung open, letting a very big man step into the room. Joe stepped backward, more frightened than ever.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, well, what do we have here?\u201d the man asked with a bitter laugh. Joe stared up at him, at the wild dark brown hair and pudgy face, the well muscled arms and cowardly gray eyes. He decided at once he didn\u2019t like the man. He didn\u2019t like him one bit.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want my pa!\u201d Little Joe told him. \u201cYou have to take me to him.\u201d The man laughed loud and long, a frightening laugh with no humor in it. Little Joe backed up until he felt the lady\u2019s hands on his shoulders, holding him with comfort. Why was she good and he bad, the child asked himself? He didn\u2019t know. He only knew he had to find his father and brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell Little Man,\u201d the stranger taunted. \u201cI\u2019d git yer pa iffn I could. But seems as how he\u2019s dead, aint likely I\u2019ll be gitting him any time soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re lying,\u201d Little Joe cried. \u201cMy pa aint dead. Ya took me from him didn\u2019t ya? He won\u2019t like it none. He\u2019ll come looking for me.\u201d Joe\u2019s head was beginning to pound again. He felt dizzy. \u201cI want my pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s one thing ya caint have, kid. Now dontcha back talk me. Yer pa aint coming for ya and that\u2019s flat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe will!\u201d Joe cried. \u201cMy pa would never leave me. He promised.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStupid brat,\u201d the man muttered. He slapped Joe across the face.<\/p>\n

\u201cPat, he\u2019s just a little boy,\u201d the lady protested as Little Joe manly tried to keep from crying. \u201cHe\u2019s hurt and confused.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCracked his head when he jumped outta that winda,\u201d Pat agreed. \u201cStill if he\u2019s anything like his old man, he\u2019s going ta need discipline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t need discipline,\u201d Joe shot back. \u201cJust my pa and my brothers.\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes flickered. He couldn\u2019t help leaning against the lady as his head told him to quiet down cause it hurt so much. Pat knelt down in front of him putting a finger to Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour pa is dead, Kid, your pa and brothers. They was in the hotel and the hotel is all burned up. Ya jumped out the winda and hurt yer head but no one else made it out. Ya understand? They aint coming fer ya, not now not ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Joe screamed. But he remembered, remembered falling asleep in the room with his pa by his side. He remembered waking up terrified by the fire that was rapidly rushing towards him. He didn\u2019t remember jumping, didn\u2019t remember anything else. Pa! Adam! Hoss! Oh, Pa! Joe beat on Pat\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cYer a liar,\u201d the little boy accused. \u201cYer a big bad liar.\u201d Pat pushed the boy to the floor and left the room. Joe laid where he was sobbing his heart out. He didn\u2019t feel the lady picking her up in his arms, and comforting him. He fell asleep again, his heart broken, his little world shattered into pieces that could never be put together again. In his dreams Little Joe searched and searched for his pa, for Adam and Hoss. He couldn\u2019t find them. No matter how hard he tried, he could not find them and his little boy heart he couldn\u2019t know that just because someone told him they were dead didn\u2019t make it so. To Little Joe, his family was gone. He was alone in the world a fact his pa had promised would never come to be. The Cartwright\u2019s ceased to exist in Little Joe\u2019s mind when he woke and the happy little boy who had been was gone as well destroyed by lies, and revenge that was just getting started.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey, come on, Baby,\u201d Rose Barton coaxed the six-year old a few days later. She was worried about the child who had not spoken since her husband convinced Joe his family was dead. Joe ate and drank when he was told, went to the bathroom and let Rose clean him, but there was no personality to the child. When he drank the water she gave him, he turned his head away, crawling back under the covers of his bed. Rose sat with the child night and day, amazed by his soft curls and little face. He was so young, so innocent of the world. His father must have loved him very much. Rose remembered how Ben Cartwright showed up at her son\u2019s funeral. The man had the courage to come and tender his apologies, wishing there was anything he could have done to avoid the shootout. Ben confided he had three sons of his own, one just a babe and he couldn\u2019t begin to fathom Rose\u2019s pain at losing her son. After living eighteen years with her husband, raising her only child to die in a robbery, Rose knew more heartaches than Ben Cartwright could possibly fathom. She nodded her thanks and promptly forgot the man. She never blamed Ben for her son\u2019s death. That burden rested squarely on Pat\u2019s shoulders. The door in the front of the house slammed shut alerting Rose to her husband\u2019s arrival. Pulling the cover up over Joe, she left him alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s the kid?\u201d Pat asked first going into the kitchen. \u201cWhere\u2019s my lunch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get it for you,\u201d Rose answered quickly, her fear of the big six-foot man evident. \u201cJoey is sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all the brat does is sleep,\u201d Pat snapped. \u201cTime he started to learn how ta be a part a this family.\u201d Rose cut two slices of fresh baked bread, and placed some butter and roast beef between them. Cutting the sandwich in half, she added a cup of coffee. Pat bit into the sandwich without a word of thanks or manners as he chewed loudly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been through quite a shock, Pat,\u201d Rose excused.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah? Well I\u2019d been through worse by his age. Pack up all this garbage tonight. We\u2019re leaving in the morning for Modesto.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cModesto? Why? Oh, Pat, we were just getting settled here.\u201d Pat\u2019s cold eyes met his wife\u2019s. She knew better than to argue. Turning away, she brushed away the tears that came. Leaving San Francisco meant leaving the few friends she had ever made in her life. She didn\u2019t want to go, but she didn\u2019t have a choice, not with Pat. He would kill her before he would let her go.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe longer we stay in Frisco, well, iffn the kid escapes or goes outside, he\u2019s sure to be recognized. They\u2019s posters everywhere for him, a $2,000 reward.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c$2,000 dollars?\u201d Rose exclaimed. \u201cPat, if you handed Joey over to the police, or I did, we could really use that money.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I hand that kid over to the police, they\u2019ll string me up for murder. Ten people died in that fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d Rose wondered until it dawned on her. \u201cOh my God, Pat. You set that fire? Why? For what reason?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo git Cartwright of course. I saw him go into the hotel, laughing and joking with his sons, three of em while I had none. I followed them upstairs and saw what room they were in. About half an hour later, I came back and set the fire in the hallway. Went out the back so\u2019s no one would see me. I thought they\u2019d all die sure in there. When the kid jumped out the winda, I figured that was a gift. Glad I took him too after I saw that Cartwight and his boys survived.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re alive?\u201d Rose asked with incredulous amazement. \u201cPat! That\u2019s who put up the posters? I thought maybe a relative.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah. Cartwright\u2019s bound and determined to find the kid. What do I care about a crummy $2,000 when I can put Cartwright through hell\u2026\u201d Both Rose and Pat jumped when they heard the front door of the house slam shut. Pat hurried into the living room where he could see the bedroom door open. Out the window he could see Little Joe running away up the street.<\/p>\n

\u201cStupid brat,\u201d the man hollered. Without a word he flew after the little boy. There were few people about as the house was at the edge of town, not close into the city. But Little Joe had an edge, an edge of fear and adrenaline. Pat saw the child scurry along the streets, but couldn\u2019t quite seem to catch up to him until the boy made a critical mistake by turning into an alley that had no outlet. Pat smiled with a wicked grin as Little Joe came smack into the end of a brick building.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joey,\u201d Pat asked. \u201cWhere did ya think ya was going?\u201d Joe, six years old, confused and terrified by a man who lied to him and hit him looked for a way to escape.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa lied? Ya told me my pa was dead. He aint, he aint. He\u2019ll come for me.\u201d Joe tried to get to the right of Pat, but Pat was too quick. In a flash he grabbed the little boy, pulling him up into his arms and putting his hand over his mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t lie. Yer pa is dead\u2026to you. He aint never coming fer ya.\u201d Joe struggled until Pat hissed into his ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe thinks ya died in that fire and no matter how hard he looks fer ya, he aint never gonna find ya, cause yer my kid now. Ya got that?\u201d Again Joe struggled his hazel eyes wide with fear and denial. Pat was kneeling on the ground now. Holding the boy close, he kept his hand over Joe\u2019s mouth and nose until the little boy lost consciousness. All he had to do was let Joe\u2019s head rest on his shoulder as he walked back to the house. No one seemed to even glance at them as they went about their daily business. Rose had the door opened and shut behind Pat after he entered the house. He let his wife take Joe from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d she cried. \u201cPat, what did you do to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNuthin he won\u2019t recover from,\u201d the evil man replied. \u201cGet him back to bed. From now on, make sure he\u2019s tied with a rope to the bed so\u2019s he don\u2019t run away again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe won\u2019t, Pat. I\u2019ll make sure of it,\u201d Rose replied. \u201cWe don\u2019t need ta tie him up.\u201d Joe fell to the ground, tumbling unconsciously across the floor as Rose let him go and Pat pushed her against a wall.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tie him up good. If he\u2019d gotten away today we\u2019d both be in prison for kidnapping and murder. Ya got that? Iffn I git caught, yer going with me, Rose. Yer an accomplice, like it or not.\u201d Rose didn\u2019t argue her husband\u2019s reasoning. She wasn\u2019t an educated woman, but she knew she had nothing to do with the fire. She also knew the authorities might not believe her. After Pat went back into the kitchen, she picked Joe up, cuddling him close, his moaning pain reaching her own broken heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joey,\u201d she told him. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I wish I could help you. I wish\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Little Joe cried. \u201cPa, help me. Pa.\u201d Rose took the hapless child to his bedroom where she did exactly as she was told and Little Joe\u2019s last chance for escape from his hell was taken away forever and always, at least as long as he was with Pat and Rose, at least that long.<\/p>\n

Part III<\/p>\n

Three weeks later<\/p>\n

\u201cYour hands are looking real good, Ben. Keep these bandages on another week and I\u2019d bet you won\u2019t ever know you were burned. Hop Sing\u2019s herbs are really something,\u201d Dr. Paul Martin congratulated. Rewrapping the bandages as he or Hop Sing had every day since Ben\u2019s return to the Ponderosa, he threw a comforting glance at his friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw Adam and Hoss heading out to mend some fences. Isn\u2019t this just about the first time they left ya since your return from San Francisco?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose. They\u2019re like two mother hens sometimes,\u201d Ben muttered. \u201cSo much work to do and I can\u2019t even help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re managing, Ben, with the hands and Adam doing the books at night. You have to be more patient with yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMistah Cartlight miss #3 son,\u201d Hop Sing provided coming into the living room where the men were sitting. Hop Sing put down a tray with coffee and sandwiches on it. \u201cYou eat, Doctah and Mistah Cartlight too. No one eat enough round here no more. Hop Sing not needed. Hop Sing go back to China where appreciated.\u201d The China man exited the room, muttering all the while. Dr. Martin chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not too happy, Ben. You better eat up, else you\u2019ll be doing the cooking or worse one of the boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter,\u201d Ben answered. \u201cHop Sing is right. Even Hoss\u2019 appetite isn\u2019t the same since\u2026since Joe\u2026\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was lost in his grief. In the last several weeks since he had come home, Ben\u2019s burns had healed slowly, and his physical strength definitely wasn\u2019t up to what it normally was. Dr. Martin took the coffee pot and poured coffee into the two cups in front of him. His first taste told him there was already milk in the coffee. That was fine with him. He gave a cup to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cDrink it, Ben. If you don\u2019t, I\u2019ll put some brandy in it and then make you drink it.\u201d Ben took the cup. Without being told he nibbled on a sandwich. When it was finished, Dr. Martin handed him another one.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not that hungry, Paul. Don\u2019t give me a hard time for heaven\u2019s sake. I\u2019ve got a lot on my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got one thing on your mind, Ben, one thing only and that\u2019s Joe.\u201d Ben\u2019s paternal instincts flashed across his chocolate colored eyes as his gaze met Paul\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd just what would you have me think of, Paul? Joe should be here, should be going to school with Hoss and arguing with his brothers. I should be able to tuck him in at night, hug him and read to him\u2026Oh God.\u201d Paul was quiet. How his old friend coped with Joe\u2019s loss was a heavy burden for the doctor. Without a body, Ben always had this hope, a hope that Joe would come through the door, a hope that was killing him, slowly but surely.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you have to concentrate on Adam and Hoss. They need you. Hoss specially. He\u2019s lost so much and he\u2019s just a little boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not a little boy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is, Ben! I know he\u2019s big and responsible. He\u2019s never been irresponsible or flighty like Joe, and he\u2019s like a rock for you and Adam, but he\u2019s still a little boy. His own ma is dead, and now Marie and Joe. What do you want from him? And what about Adam? He\u2019s only eighteen. It\u2019s not fair to put the burdens on him that you have, running the ranch, taking care of Hoss and you. It\u2019s not fair, Ben!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do you want me to do about it, Paul. I can\u2019t exactly go out and round up the cattle or mend some fences or ride.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to do that, Ben. You just have to be here for the boys\u2026and yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not giving up,\u201d Ben answered with his usual stubborn pride.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you\u2019re keeping Joe alive and it\u2019s hurting all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul?\u201d Ben asked with amazement. \u201cDon\u2019t you think that\u2019s normal. The last time I saw my son, he was sleeping in bed. The next thing I knew he was trapped in a burning building. He could have gotten out, Paul. He could have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he did, Ben, where is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d Ben cried with all the pent up anguish he had in his heart. \u201cHe\u2019s my baby. My baby, Paul!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what Joe means to you, Ben. He\u2019s all you\u2019ve got left of Marie. I know that, my friend, but you have to let him go. Let him go, Ben for your sake and the boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Ben answered. \u201cNo.\u201d Ben put his head in his hands. Dr. Martin patted Ben\u2019s shoulder. He left the man to his own nightmare. Ben just wasn\u2019t ready to cope with the finality of Joe\u2019s death. How could any one blame him. Ben\u2019s devotion to his youngest son, to all his sons was well known to Paul and most of the Cartwright\u2019s friends.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben mumbled. \u201cOh baby, where are you?\u201d And somewhere, somehow Ben was certain he could hear his baby son crying, crying softly and calling in a little boy\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, come get me. Pa, don\u2019t leave me. Pa\u2026Pa\u2026Pa\u2026\u201d
\nAnd Ben could only live in a senseless world of loss, praying that somehow his son would come home to him\u2026someday.<\/p>\n

Joe Cartwright was hungry, more hungry than he could ever remember being. He wondered if this was how Hoss felt when he said he was as hungry as a bear. Crawling across the wooden floor, too weak to walk, he pulled himself up to look out the second floor window of the house that Rose and Pat were living in. As always now, the rope around his waist kept him tied to something, either a bed or a metal hook in the wall that Pat put there. Joe waited for one thing\u2026to get away from Pat and Rose. He had to get home to the Ponderosa. He had to.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey,\u201d Rose said coming into the room. She found the little boy sliding down the wall to the floor. Quickly the woman put her tray down on a near by table and rushed to the weeping child. She gathered him in her arms, comforting him as best she could.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey, it\u2019s all right,\u201d she crooned. The little boy stiffened in her arms. Of course it wasn\u2019t all right. Not with Pat willing to torment the child at any given opportunity. Joey\u2019s face grew more and more frightened each time he saw Pat. Rose knew it was only a matter of time before Pat\u2019s hatred for Joe\u2019s father was vented completely on Joey. She didn\u2019t know how to get him away from Pat, not without getting herself killed. In the meantime Joey had bonded with her despite himself. He was so desperate for a mother, and she was just as desperate for a child. She tried to protect him as much as she could. She knew it wasn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cI brought you some lunch,\u201d she told him. Joe didn\u2019t seem interested. Rose picked up the little boy, and sat him in a chair at the table. Placing a bowl of soup and a piece of bread with a half a glass of milk in front of Joe, she encouraged him to eat. Suddenly Joe was not hungry.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he told her. \u201cDon\u2019t want it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey, you have to eat.\u201d She took the spoon and fed him spoonful after spoonful of the thin liquid that was mostly just chicken broth and a few vegetables mixed in. After a half a bowl, Joe clamped his mouth shut. He pulled away from Rose, crawling on the floor to the bed and then lying against the bed, his head in his hands. Rose gathered the tiny cherub into her arms again. This time she laid him on the bed, singing to him till he fell asleep. He was so tiny, and if she wasn\u2019t mistaken, he was losing strength with his poor appetite. His limp form in her arms made her afraid. In his sleep he mumbled words that sent shivers down her spine.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026come get me. Don\u2019t leave me, Pa. Pa\u2026Pa\u2026Pa\u2026\u201d
\nRose\u2019s heart bled for the child. She fell asleep clutching him to her, praying for an answer to their predicament.<\/p>\n

Rose woke to hear Pat slamming the front door. In an attempt to protect Joe, who still slept, she left him on the bed and went downstairs. There was only the two bedrooms on the second floor, and a living room and kitchen on the first. It was a tiny house, and the walls were thin.<\/p>\n

\u201cPat? Where\u2019ve you been?\u201d Rose asked. Pat waved a wad of cash at her. Rose did not inquire further. She busied herself in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe bank was real courteous in giving me this here money,\u201d he told her. \u201cNow we can get over to Stockton.\u201d Screwing up her forehead in confusion, Rose turned to her husband.<\/p>\n

\u201cPat, what are you planning?\u201d she wondered. \u201cWhy are we going to Stockton?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno. Reckon I was making my way east ta show Ben Cartwright I got his son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll kill you,\u201d Rose retorted in a flat monotone. \u201cYou\u2019re playing with fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, aren\u2019t I?\u201d Pat answered with a cruel grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, Pat? Why? Why don\u2019t you just let Joey go?\u201d Rose was rewarded with a slap across the face, so hard that she hit the floor with a split lip.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s mine,\u201d the man gloated.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a baby, a little boy,\u201d Rose retorted. \u201cSince when are you such a coward\u2026\u201d That word was not the one Rose needed. Minutes later she still sat on the floor, a few ribs broken, her face a mass of bruises and her body aching from head to foot.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you listen to me,\u201d Pat hissed. \u201cThat kid is mine. You do anything to take him away and I promise you\u2019ll pay, good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m your wife, Pat. Doesn\u2019t that count for anything?\u201d Pat\u2019s evil grin only continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cI own you, Rose. I always have and I always will. Don\u2019t you forget it. If the kid dies you\u2019ll hang right along with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what? What makes you think death is any worse than this hell we live in?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re such a fool, Rose, such a fool.\u201d He left her on the floor going upstairs to their bedroom.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet packed up. We gotta get out of here, and take care of the kid.\u201d Rose breathed a sigh of relief as the door slammed. He\u2019d sleep while she was preparing for their escape. She half wished the police would come, but she knew they wouldn\u2019t. Pat hadn\u2019t been robbing banks and getting away with it clean for as long as he had without becoming proficient at it. She hated him. For the first time in her life, she hated him. She had to get Joe away from him, one way or another, before the boy died. The problem was, she just wasn\u2019t sure how.<\/p>\n

Hours later Rose was ready to go. Joe was washed and in a clean set of clothes. Rose had given him some milk with a sedative that Pat kept and sometimes used on her. He was sleeping, thankfully when the trio made their escape into the night.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat kid is gonna play right into our hands,\u201d Pat told her as they rode on horseback, with Little Joe leaning against her chest. He was so light, she barely noticed she was holding him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not playing anything,\u201d she replied. \u201cHe hasn\u2019t even smiled since you took him. He\u2019s a frightened child.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHis refusal to eat. He doesn\u2019t eat, he\u2019ll die, and then that will take care of Ben Cartwright.\u201d Rose shuddered. There was no point to answering her husband. She knew Pat was right. Joe might only be six years old, and he might not really understand that not eating would end his life, but he wasn\u2019t eating and that was the point. He was smart enough to know that this form of rebellion was the best one to normally get results. Only this time it wouldn\u2019t. It wouldn\u2019t. Joe would die first. And like him, she was helpless to prevent his death\u2026or so she thought, so she believed and as long as she did nothing would happen to change the fate that dogged all three of them through Pat\u2019s evil intent.<\/p>\n

Chapter 4
\nTwo weeks later<\/p>\n

Rose walked from the Stockton Mercantile towards the end of town where Pat had found yet another tiny house to rent. This one had only one bedroom with a double bed and a trundle bed which she had moved into the living room. Pat was never home except to sleep. She had no idea where he was nor did she care. Joe\u2019s condition now required her full-time care. Taking the milk and bread and boullion she had brought from the store she hoped to get Joe to at least take in a little soup and bread. He was only taking small bits of food now, and was completely bed bound. He had even stopped talking. Somehow she missed that little voice more than anything. In the house, she put the groceries in the kitchen then walked across the room to check on Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey?\u201d she asked? The little boy lay in bed, his hazel eyes barely blinking. Placing her hand on his head, she felt a fever for the first time. Her heart constricted in fear. Was this then the beginning of the end for the little boy who had stolen her heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey?\u201d His eyes looked to her, then closed as if he were making a decision. \u201cJoey, open your eyes! Please, Sweetie!\u201d The child was completely unresponsive. In terror now, she scooped the child up in her arms and ran out of the house down the street to the doctor\u2019s office. As she ran, she knew she could not alert anyone to the fact that she was bringing Joe to the doctor. She would have to leave him in the back of the house. Running down a side street, she came up on the back of the houses. Many times since they arrived in Stockton she wanted to bring Joe to the doctor, but knew it was useless. This time it was just as useless. While the main street was busy, the back ones were not. Suddenly an arm encircled her waist. She screamed as she was pulled to a halt so fast, her feet left the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere ya going, Rose?\u201d Pat hissed. \u201cWhere ya going with my boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s dying, Pat. We have to do something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI tole ya what I was going to do when he died, Rose. I was going to drop him off for Ben Cartwright to find. That\u2019s where I been, to Virginia City and back. It\u2019s going to be perfect, Rose, a perfect revenge for our son.\u201d Rose felt physically sick to her stomach. Taking Pat by surprise, she bent over and vomited onto the dirt road. Next she turned and kicked him where it counted. Screaming with all she had, she ran. Pat recovered quickly. He ran after her catching her just outside the doctor\u2019s house. Once more his arm snaked around her, his other hand taking a lethal weapon from his boot. In a second the weapon silenced Rose, entering her back, killing her over a few seconds where she realized she was sacrificing her life for nothing because Pat would win. She sank to the ground, Joe slipping from her hands, the metallic taste of blood seeping from her mouth. Her only satisfaction came as someone called out to Pat and she took her last breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Mister, hold it right there,\u201d Pat looked up to find a gun drawn on him. He let go of Rose, her blood on his hands. Bending down, he picked up Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was stealing my son,\u201d he attempted to explain. \u201cShe\u2019s drugged him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHold it right there,\u201d the man repeated. Pat wanted to run with Joe, but he wasn\u2019t sure what to do. Putting his hand to his gun, he refused.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s my boy. Ya caint\u2019 have him,\u201d Pat called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cPut the boy down, Mister,\u201d another voice cried. Rose\u2019s screams had brought out more than just the doctor. Other men and women from the town had gathered. This was Stockton in the 1840\u2019s a small town that was just beginning to grow, wild, and dangerous. All the men wore guns. All of their guns were now drawn on Pat. Pat slowly put Joe down. The child lay motionless on the ground. To the spectators it was hard to see if he was alive or not.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, there\u2019s been a mistake. The boy is my son. She was taking him. Look, he\u2019s drugged.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d ya kill her for,\u201d someone asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo get him back,\u201d Pat sneered as if the man were the stupidest person in the world. The sheriff arrived, his own gun drawn on the man. He approached Pat slowly and carefully. Suddenly Pat drew his gun. In less than a second he fell dead to the ground as the sheriff\u2019s bullet hit him in the chest. Without hesitation, the sheriff and the doctor raced to the child on the ground. The townspeople encircled them. While the doctor picked up Little Joe, the sheriff turned to the encircling crowd.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Folks. Break it up. The doc will take care of the boy.\u201d Reluctantly the crowd dispersed. The doctor rushed into the house with the child. The sheriff turned to the scene at hand. Going through Pat\u2019s pockets, he found only a ten dollar gold piece. In Rose\u2019s dress pocket he found a poster, one that was in his own office, a reward and description of Joseph Cartwright. He had to get the undertaker for these two, the sheriff decided. Then he had to send a telegram\u2026to Virginia City. He\u2019d seen the child and five would get him ten, that that little boy was this missing child. He could only imagine the lady was trying to rescue the little boy and paid for her action with her life. But who was the man and what was wrong with the boy? None of it made sense. With the immediate danger passed, the sheriff went to the doctor\u2019s office first. He had to make sure his assumption was correct before he gave a family false hope.<\/p>\n

Inside Dr. Samuel Brooks\u2019 office, the doctor placed Joe on a bed in his infirmary. There were two other beds there. His wife, Melinda stripped the child of his clothes. When the child lay naked in front of them, the couple stared just as the sheriff came in.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood Lord,\u201d Sheriff Ralph Walters gapped. \u201cThat kid looks like a skeleton.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like he\u2019s starved,\u201d the doctor answered. \u201cPoor child. How could anyone let a boy get into this condition.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone who may have kidnapped him,\u201d Sheriff Walters offered. He pulled out the poster and showed it to the physician. For almost a minute the three people stared at the child.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet a telegraph off to Virginia City,\u201d Dr. Brooks ordered. \u201cThe sooner this boy\u2019s family is here, the better. Where did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom the woman. It was on her body.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the best piece of luck this kid might have had for a while. He\u2019s barely alive as it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll hurry, Samuel. Just don\u2019t let the kid die.\u201d The sheriff rushed off to the telegraph office. Dr. Brooks\u2019 wife came to stand beside him, helping him put a nightgown on Joe and then getting him under the warm blankets.<\/p>\n

\u201cSam? Do you think he\u2019ll survive?\u201d she asked. Dr. Brooks\u2019s palm rested on Joe\u2019s forehead. Sadly he shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I just don\u2019t know. Pray Melinda. Pray.\u201d She leaned against him, remembering her own lost child, killed during a recent fever epidemic.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to save him, Sam. He\u2019s so little. His parents must be so terrified.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll do our best, Sweetheart\u2026and maybe if we\u2019re lucky, our little Peter will help us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Melinda agreed. \u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

Ben sat in front of the fireplace. Upstairs, his two older sons were sleeping. Down here, all he could do was hold the image of his youngest son in front of him in the flames of orange that simmered and vanished then reappeared. Joe\u2026the aching for Joseph was far more painful than anything Ben had ever felt before. Each morning he longed to stop in Joe\u2019s room, to spend time waking him, to have him run into his arms, to hear that silly giggle or feel a hug. Instead he walked downstairs to a table set for three instead of four. His son was gone. Paul was right. He had to accept it, the sooner the better, but how, how? Dozing as the flames grew low, the evening waned. Finally, conceding it was time for bed, Ben doused the lamps and went upstairs. He bypassed Joe\u2019s closed door, unable to look inside the room which had not been changed since they came home. Stopping in Hoss\u2019 room, the father wasn\u2019t surprised to find that bed empty as well. Opening Adam\u2019s door, he found his two sons lying in bed together, Hoss snoring away while Adam lay with a lamp on and his eyes wide open.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Ben called softly. Heeding his father, the young man got up. Shutting his bedroom door behind him, the young man joined his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Pa. You weren\u2019t worried about him were you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m worried about both of you,\u201d Ben confessed. \u201cHe\u2019s too quiet and you are working yourself too hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t help it, Pa. If I don\u2019t do something sometimes I feel like I\u2019m going to go crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you mean. Hoss hasn\u2019t asked to play checkers since we got home and most of the time he sleeps with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSmall wonder,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m scared too. Pa, I can\u2019t stand getting up in the morning and not having Joe here. He\u2019s my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d Ben didn\u2019t know what to say.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about if I go back to San Francisco? Maybe if I can talk to that sergeant again? Maybe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam. If the sergeant had any news on Joe, you know he would have sent word.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I was thinking too that we never checked the orphanages up there or in the surrounding country side. Maybe we were a little hasty in leaving the city.\u201d The two men sat on a settee in the hallway, exhausted. Their fatigue came not only from a physical need to sleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Adam\u2019s surprise hit Ben in the gut as he finally admitted to himself that all the hard work of the last four weeks had come to nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith Roy\u2019s help, I hired several detectives in San Francisco shortly after we got home. I had them scour the orphanages and every place we could think Joe might have gotten to. There was no news, no evidence he survived the fire.\u201d Ben reached into his pocket. Opening the locket he kept of Marie, he stared into her beautiful eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI failed her,\u201d he said softly. \u201cI let our little boy die.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Ben\u2019s chocolate colored eyes rested on his eldest son. Adam\u2019s hand touched Ben\u2019s leg.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you couldn\u2019t have done any more than you did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Someday, Adam when you are a father, you\u2019ll understand. You, Hoss, Joe, each of you have been my joy, my blessing from your mothers. I lost them\u2026and their loss was heart wrenching, but Joe\u2026Joe was just a baby. He never even had the chance to marry or have his own children. It\u2019s not right and I should have been able to protect him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all wanted to, Pa. You know I didn\u2019t get along with Marie until Joe came. He was a bond between us. Without him I would never have accepted Marie without Joe and without Marie, I would never have realized how much I needed her\u2026and Joe.\u201d Tears fell down Ben\u2019s face. Pulling Adam into his arms, he hugged his son tight, thanking God for this boy who had been with him through the most difficult and most wonderful days of his own life. They were still hugging when a ferocious knock on the front door startled them. For a second they were frozen until Hoss\u2019 bedroom door opened.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? Pa, who\u2019s downstairs?\u201d Hoss wondered out loud, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Ben hurried down to the front room, swinging open the door to admit a smiling Roy Coffee.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy? Roy, come in. What are you doing out here so late?\u201d Roy\u2019s face was fairly beaming. Glancing back at Adam and Hoss, Ben could see the two boys were confused. With his heart suddenly beating with expectation he gave his old friend his attention as he shut the door and then came to stand in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA telegram, Ben, from Stockton. I brought it out cause I figured it couldn\u2019t wait till morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA telegram?\u201d Ben looked down at the outstretched hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it, Ben. It\u2019s good news. Ben\u2026it\u2019s Little Joe.\u201d In a second Ben took the paper in his trembling hands. His voice choked as he read the words out loud.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo Sheriff Roy Coffee, Virginia City, Nevada
\nChild found. Possible ID Joe Cartwright from poster.
\nHave family come urgent. Sheriff Ralph Walters, Stockton, CA.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPossible ID? Oh, God,\u201d Adam cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Hoss asked. Ben looked up to Roy, fresh tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I have a feeling. I know Ralph Walters. He wouldn\u2019t send a telegram like this unless there was strong reason to suspect the child is Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if\u2026what if it isn\u2019t?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019ll find out when we get there. Hoss go back to bed. You too Adam. I\u2019ll make arrangements for us to leave for Stockton in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we can\u2019t sleep,\u201d Adam protested. \u201cNot now.\u201d Ben looked from Hoss to Adam to Roy. Without hesitation, he nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen the stagecoach goes through Stockton,\u201d Roy offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Roy. We\u2019ll take our horses. We can make better time traveling across country. The boys and I will be fine. I\u2019ll leave instructions for our foreman. He can handle the ranch while we\u2019re away. Thank-you, Roy for coming out so late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope and pray it\u2019s him, Ben,\u201d Roy told his friend, patting his shoulder, and then leaving. Ben turned back to his sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know how difficult this is,\u201d Ben told them. \u201cWe don\u2019t know for sure that this is Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt has to be, Pa. It has to be,\u201d Hoss cried, his logic coming from his heart and not his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, it doesn\u2019t. But we\u2019ll hope. We\u2019ll hope and if it\u2019s Joe, we\u2019ll bring him home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir. I\u2019ll go get dressed. Come on, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be right up to help you, Hoss.\u201d When Hoss was upstairs, Adam reached out to his father who was going through some papers on his desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, can you do this?\u201d Ben looked surprised at the question.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if it isn\u2019t Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, go pack enough clothes in your saddle bags for three days. You know what to do. Like I told your brother, we have to hope it\u2019s Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy couldn\u2019t they say for sure?\u201d Adam asked, his voice very serious. Ben\u2019s eyes spoke volumes. Silently the younger man went back up stairs. Ben sat down. What if it wasn\u2019t Joe? What was so wrong that they were needed urgently? Ben put his head on his hands and sobbed, knowing this was their last chance to get Joe back. And if they did, now he had to consider what condition the child was in\u2026and if they ever really would get their little boy back home to the Ponderosa again.<\/p>\n

\u201cDear God,\u201d he prayed. \u201cPlease. Please Marie. Take care of him till I can get to him. Please take care of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 5<\/p>\n

It took three days of hard riding to get to Stockton. Ben and the boys spoke little during the trip. They all were lost in their fear and worry for Little Joe, fear for his life and worry that the boy in Stockton wasn\u2019t Little Joe. Not even Hoss spoke the unthinkable, that they might be headed west for no reason, that this was their last chance at finding his little brother. When the family arrived in Stockton, they rode as quickly as they could to the sheriff\u2019s office. The sheriff looked a little confused at the entrance of three large men, although one was still a boy, but plenty large.<\/p>\n

\u201cKin I help you folks?\u201d Ralph Walters asked, a little wary.
\nBen nodded but didn\u2019t hold out his hand. His worry was written across his strained, exhausted face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Ben Cartwright. These are my sons, Adam and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright. Right. You got here quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s my son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe think he\u2019s Joe. Matches the description. We aren\u2019t positive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHasn\u2019t he told you?\u201d Adam asked with apparent exasperation.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe we should just go over to the doctor\u2019s office,\u201d Sheriff Walters answered pointedly ignoring Adam\u2019s question. Sheriff Walters opened the door to his office ushering the family out. Adam clenched his hands while Hoss followed his father and brother, confusion written across his face. It took only a few minutes to walk down the street to the doctor\u2019s office. Sheriff Walters knocked on the front door, then opened it, stepping inside quickly with Ben, Adam and Hoss behind him. A man hurried from the back of the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cRalph? What\u2019s this?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is Mr. Cartwright and his sons. How\u2019s the boy today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBout the same, Ralph. Thanks for bringing them over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnytime, Sam. I\u2019ll see you for supper Saturday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing.\u201d The doctor turned his attention to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright? I\u2019m Dr. Sam Brooks. Thank you for coming so quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe came as fast as we could. Where\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in our infirmary. Mr. Cartwright, I need to talk to you about the boy before you see him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to see him right now!\u201d Hoss broke in. \u201cIt\u2019s been forever and he must be scared, the poor little fella.\u201d Dr. Brooks hazarded a smile at the large young man. He drew the family towards his waiting room. Indicating for them to sit down, he sat in a chair facing Ben with Hoss sitting next to him and Adam standing next to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung Man, I understand your worry. You must be a great brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s the best,\u201d Ben complimented his son. \u201cBut what about my son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe hasn\u2019t been responsive since he was found,\u201d Dr. Brooks told them, letting the family down gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he was unconscious when we found him. The lady he was with had a poster in her pocket. It was the wanted poster for Joe. That\u2019s how we identified him. Since then the boy has been awake off and on, but he\u2019s barely eaten.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s never been a big eater,\u201d Ben excused trying to deny what the doctor said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Mr. Cartwright. Joe is extremely malnourished. He has pneumonia, and he\u2019s running a high fever. We can barely get enough water in him to keep him hydrated. He\u2019s a very sick boy.\u201d Ben closed his eyes. Hoss looked from the doctor to Ben to Adam. He stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanna see Joe. I wanna see him now.\u201d The doctor nodded. He led the family down the hall to the infirmary. Opening the door, they found Melinda Brooks tending to Joe. There were no other patients in the other beds. As one, the Cartwright\u2019s engulfed the bed on either side. Melinda Brooks stood. For several seconds silence filled the room as Ben, Adam and Hoss laid eyes on Joe for the first time since the fire. Ben moved to his boy\u2019s side unbelieving.<\/p>\n

\u201cJesus,\u201d Adam sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Hoss pleaded. \u201cPa\u2026what happened to him? Lookit those bruises on his arms and he\u2019s so puny. Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSh, Hoss,\u201d Adam urged putting his arm around his brother. Dr. Brooks took a chair and brought it over to Ben. As if moving in slow motion, Ben sat, taking the tiny hand of his youngest child in his own large one. With hurt eyes he looked to Dr. Brooks.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is your son?\u201d Dr. Brooks asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. What the hell happened?\u201d Ben cried. \u201cJoe? Joseph, look at Papa. Papa\u2019s here now. Sweetheart?\u201d Anguish raged through the hearts of each person in the room, even the doctor and his wife. Joe didn\u2019t respond. His little face was so frail, his little arms black and blue. Swallowing his anger at those bruises, Ben\u2019s hand brushed back the curly hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cSoft\u2026so soft,\u201d Ben whispered. \u201cJust like your mother, Joe. You\u2019re going to be all right, Son. Adam is here and Hoss. We\u2019re going to help you, and I promise, we\u2019ll never let you go again. I\u2019m sorry, Joseph. I\u2019m so sorry. Joe, open your eyes for Papa. Open your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep talking to him, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d Dr. Brooks encouraged. \u201cMelinda, why don\u2019t you show these boys where they can clean up and get something to eat? I\u2019ll stay with Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI aint leaving him,\u201d Hoss hissed. Again Adam put his hand over the boy\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Hoss insisted. \u201cHe could die.\u201d Tears fell down Hoss\u2019 cheek. Ben looked across the bed to his sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I won\u2019t let Joe die. He\u2019s going to be all right, I promise. Go with Adam and get some rest. Just remember, Son. We found him. We found your little brother, and that\u2019s a blessing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure is, Pa,\u201d Adam concurred. \u201cCome on, Hoss. Little Joe wouldn\u2019t like all the fuss anyway, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I suppose. Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, Hoss.\u201d Ben encouraged. The boys followed Mrs. Brooks out of the room. Joe coughed, his little body racked by the pneumonia in his lungs. Ben couldn\u2019t stand seeing his child suffering so much.<\/p>\n

\u201cDr. Brooks, can I hold him?\u201d he asked. \u201cHe\u2019s hurting.\u201d Dr. Brooks smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, I\u2019d guess holding the boy couldn\u2019t hurt, but maybe you\u2019d like to get cleaned up too.\u201d As if on cue the sheriff came into the room with Ben and the boys\u2019 saddle bags. The men looked up at the sheriff in surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cRalph?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought the Cartwright\u2019s might need these. I had their horses taken to the livery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank-you, Sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d The sheriff left. Ben looked to the doctor in a bit of confusion. Samuel Brooks smiled sadly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had an epidemic pass through here a while back. Sheriff lost a girl and a boy. He knows what you\u2019re going through. So do I.\u201d Ben looked twice. In silence he put his hand on the doctor\u2019s shoulder. There were no words. He had been so close to losing Joe\u2026and still was.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a lean to on the other side of the room with a well, and some towels. We keep everything there to be handy. I\u2019ll get you some coffee and a sandwich. You look done in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI found my son,\u201d Ben answered. \u201cThat\u2019s all I wanted was to get him back. He\u2019s special my Joe, all my boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re all special,\u201d Dr. Brooks agreed with an unshed tear in his eye as he opened the bedroom door, \u201cWhen they\u2019re yours.\u201d Ben took his satchel and went out to the lean to knowing the doctor was right, but he just didn\u2019t know how special Little Joe was.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Ben carefully lifted his little boy into his arms, sitting in bed with the limp hot flesh next to his. Little Joe coughed with the movement. When Joe\u2019s head rested against, Ben\u2019s chest, he felt a contentment he hadn\u2019t realized in weeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joseph. Where have you been Baby? What happened to you? Papa is here now. He\u2019s going to take care of you.\u201d Joe\u2019s small form was limp, completely limp and unresponsive except for the coughs that racked him.
\nBen couldn\u2019t remember the last time he had ever seen Joe so still, as if he ever had. Joe\u2026From the moment he was born, this little one was a bundle of energy, not quiet like the placid Hoss or serious Adam. Joe was on the go from morning till night. Ben should have believed like Adam did that Joe wouldn\u2019t just give in. Did he jump out of the building? Did someone pull him out? Would they ever know? Would Joe live to tell them or would this little guy ever talk again? Ben\u2019s heart ached for his boy\u2019s suffering.<\/p>\n

In the next few days it was an uphill battle to save Joe. He refused to take anything to drink. When he was awake, he only opened his eyes, but didn\u2019t look around. Ben talked constantly to him while his sons and the doctor and his wife met the child\u2019s needs. Joe was so hot, and the cough so fierce, Ben reverently wished he knew how to do more for his boy. His heart ached for Joe\u2019s suffering and the needless grief Adam, Hoss and himself were enduring. On the third night, Dr. Brooks told him that either Joe would survive the night or die by morning. He was too weak to fight much longer.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaint we do something?\u201d Hoss pleaded. \u201cHe\u2019s come this far.\u201d Dr. Brooks sadly shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Hoss. There\u2019s only so much a man can do, even a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he\u2019s our brother!\u201d Adam protested. \u201cWe aren\u2019t letting him die. We aren\u2019t. Joe you get back here. You aren\u2019t going anywhere, Buddy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll keep him as cool as possible with cool cloths. Ben if you stay with him, and the boys, keep talking to him, letting him know you are here, that\u2019s his only hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll stay with him,\u201d Hoss insisted. \u201cHe\u2019s my little brother. Little Brother\u2026\u201d Hoss pulled back his tears.
\nLittle Joe\u2019s head was leaning against Ben\u2019s chest, Ben rubbed Joe\u2019s back. Adam sat on one side of the bed and Hoss on the other. Together they changed the cool cloths on the boy. Adam rubbed Joe\u2019s legs. When the doctor looked at him questioningly, he sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figure he might know we\u2019re here if we touch him. Can\u2019t hurt, can it?\u201d Dr. Brooks gave his sympathetic approval.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam, it can\u2019t hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, do ya think Joe knows how much we want him ta come home?\u201d Hoss asked. \u201cHouse aint the same without the little fella.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever missed anyone the way we missed you, Joe,\u201d Adam concurred. He rubbed Joe’s legs a little harder. The boy moaned, the first sound he had made since the family arrived.<\/p>\n

“Joseph?” Ben called to his son. The child’s raspy breathing was Ben’s only response. “Joe, I can feel your mother is with you. I know it’s tempting to go with her, but don’t go, Sweet Boy. Please don’t.”<\/p>\n

“Pa, what do you mean?” Adam asked.<\/p>\n

“She’s here,” Ben said. “She wouldn’t leave Joe now, not now when he is hovering between life and death.” As if to confirm his feeling, Ben felt as if Marie were kissing his cheek. In return, he kissed Joe’s damp curly head.<\/p>\n

“Pa…” Hoss cried. Joe’s body stiffened in his father’s arms.<\/p>\n

“Marie, don’t take him,” Ben begged. “Please, Marie. We need him. We love him so. Marie!” Joe’s body went into a seizure that lasted several seconds. Ben laid the child flat on the bed. Dr. Brooks flew off the bed he had been resting on.<\/p>\n

“Hold him down,” the doctor cried. Ben’s heart constricted in agony, enduring the seizure with his baby until finally Little Joe was still, his green eyes closed, face white.<\/p>\n

“Help him,” Ben begged.<\/p>\n

“Ben, it’s up to him,” Dr. Brooks answered. “We’ve done all we can. Let’s get him back in the bed.” Ben had no words.<\/p>\n

“Come on, Little Buddy,” Adam pleaded picking Joe up and depositing him again in his father’s arms. “You can do this. You can. You’re a big boy, remember? You can do this.” They kept talking to the child. Little Joe’s breathing grew softer until the terrible rasping ceased. Dr. Brooks laid down again. Time ticked by while dawn neared. Ben dozed as did Adam and Hoss, Adam lying next to his father and Hoss sitting in a chair with his head on the bed. Ben woke to feel Joe moving, actually moving. In awe, he felt weak arms go around his neck and the little face buried itself into the father’s chest, and he went to sleep.<\/p>\n

“Dr. Brooks!” Ben gasped. Once again the physician hurried to his patient’s side. This time, Dr. Brooks stepped back a smile on his face.<\/p>\n

“Doctor?” Adam pleaded. Hoss slept on.<\/p>\n

“His fever’s broke. He’s not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot, but he’s beat the pneumonia. That’s the first step towards recovery. He’s some boy, Ben.” Ben sobbed his relief as a wisp of wind touched his cheek. Marie…Marie’s blessing on her husband and son. Joe would live. Ben knew he would, and he would be there to help his child recover from his ordeal. He would help Joe to find his heart and soul again, to set afire the soul that was part of his youngest child. His Joe was coming home at last.<\/p>\n

Chapter 6
\nThe Ponderosa
\nThree weeks Later<\/p>\n

\u201cNow Joe, you don\u2019t have to be afraid,\u201d Ben told his son three weeks later. It was only ten days till Christmas, two weeks since Ben brought Little Joe home. The family was gathered outside, getting ready to go for a ride. Hoss, sitting his own mount grinned from ear to ear as Adam lifted Joe up to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Joe aint afraid. He aint never been afraid a nothing,\u201d Hoss insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Pa. Can\u2019t stop Joe once he has an idea in his stubborn head,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cHe\u2019ll sit a horse no problem.\u201d He handed the little boy to Ben who kept up the false bravado the three of them were displaying for Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joe, what do you think?\u201d Ben asked his son, setting him on the saddle in front of him. Little Joe leaned back in silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he remembers, Pa,\u201d Adam encouraged. \u201cReady to go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Son.\u201d Adam mounted without thought. Together the family rode through snow covered fields to the little cemetery where Marie and the little stillborn daughter she had lost two years after Little Joe was born were buried. Adam and Hoss rode ahead, their voices quiet but strong in the chilling air. Above them the sky was cloudy, the air speaking of snow before it\u2019s expected arrival that evening. Ben didn\u2019t have flowers at this time of year for Marie, but he wanted Joe to see where his mother was and he wanted to see Marie too before Christmas. There was no guarantee they\u2019d be able to get up here on Christmas Day that was for sure. A sudden snowball hit Joe\u2019s arm. Ben looked ahead to see Hoss grinning. Joe\u2019s lack of response was disappointing. Ben swallowed heavily.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat Hoss,\u201d Ben chuckled. \u201cHe\u2019d try and get a reaction out of you any way he could.\u201d Ben pulled his horse up. Adam was quick to take Joe from him. Joe went willingly from his father to his brother, putting his arms around Adam\u2019s neck and resting his head on Adam\u2019s shoulder. To the family it was clear that Joe knew them. They just weren\u2019t sure how to reach the little boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Little Buddy,\u201d Adam said. \u201cLet\u2019s sit down here on the blanket Hoss has. We cleared some snow and thought you might like to talk to your mama. I bet you miss her.\u201d Hoss and Ben put the blanket down. Ben sat down with Joe leaning against him. It was the middle of the morning, and since the stock had been taken care of, Ben thought getting Joe outside might be a good idea. Heaven knew just taking care of him inside, doing exercises to strengthen his arms and legs and keep his socialized didn\u2019t seem to do much. Ben wanted his little boy back, and he meant to try every which way he could to reach the child. Ben hugged Joe towards him, pulling an extra blanket around the boy to keep him warm.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Pa, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s a prettier place in the world than right here,\u201d Adam offered. \u201cWith the view of the lake and the mountains. Even in the cold and snow it\u2019s peaceful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be peaceful iffn we had a snowball fight,\u201d Hoss suggested mischievously. Hoss wasn\u2019t one to sit still for long. He had too much living to do in his quiet way.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe still, Hoss,\u201d Adam chided. \u201cLet Joe enjoy being outside for a change. He\u2019s been cooped up a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I reckon he has.\u201d Hoss took the canteen they had brought and some tin cups. He poured some water into a cup and drank it.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me have that, Hoss. I\u2019ll see if I can get Joseph to drink some,\u201d Ben suggested. Hoss readily gave his father the canteen and a cup. After there was water in the cup, Ben took Joe\u2019s hands, encouraging him to hold the tin cup. To Ben\u2019s surprise Joe did hold the cup drinking from it until it was half empty. Ben took it back with a grin. Adam nodded his own encouragement as he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot bad, Little Buddy,\u201d Adam complimented. \u201cCourse that wouldn\u2019t begin to satisfy Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s enough, Adam.\u201d Ben chided. There was a certain contentment within his soul with his son snuggling against him. Suddenly he realized that that was what was different. Joe was snuggling against him, feeling safe, feeling his own form of contentment maybe. He kissed Joe\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, do you think Ma knows we\u2019re here?\u201d Hoss asked. Ben ruffled Joe\u2019s hair and kissed his bare head again. He\u2019d taken off the boy\u2019s hat to let the cool air whisper through the dark curls. The father\u2019s chocolate colored eyes rested on Marie\u2019s headstone. Adam answered for his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse she does, Hoss. She was with Joe in Stockton, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but I wish we could see her and talk to her. She always had a way of making ya feel special.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpecially Joe,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cCourse she was kind of partial to the kid.\u201d Ben chuckled again. They spent some time talking about Marie. After about an hour, Ben declared it was time to go home. He got Joe\u2019s hat, making sure it was on well enough to keep his head warm. Ben stood with Joe in his arms. He whispered into Joe\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to say good bye to Mama, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay if ya don\u2019t Joe. Ya can say a prayer by yourself to Mama whenever ya want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a nice thought, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI pray to her sometimes,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cDid some asking after the fire when we thought Little Joe was dead.\u201d Joe suddenly whimpered.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa,\u201d he whispered. \u201cPapa.\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes widened.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d he asked, but Joe just buried his head in Ben\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe heard us, Pa,\u201d Adam told the older man.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa think he understood us talking about the fire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss. Let\u2019s get him home. He\u2019s shivering a bit.\u201d Ben answered a little shortly. In no time they were on their way home. Ben chided himself all the way home, wishing he knew more about the fire and what had happened to Joe. Joe calmed down by the time they got home. Adam and Hoss took the horses without comment. Ben carried his son inside. When he made to put Joe on the sofa, Joe clung to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa! No!\u201d Little arms around a parent\u2019s neck usually speak volumes and this time was no exception. Ben sat down with Little Joe. He tried to sit Joe up on his knee. Little Joe simply laid back down, resting his head against Ben. However his father was more insistent.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I want you to look at Papa. Now sit up and pay attention.\u201d Joe shook his head. Ben felt more hope than he had in a long time. Joe was listening. He knew exactly what he was doing. This was more of a temper tantrum than anything\u2026and if it was one thing Ben Cartwright didn\u2019t tolerate it was a temper tantrum. He sat Joe up on the sofa, letting him rest against the armrest of the sofa. Joe couldn\u2019t help letting his green eyes rest on his father as he was looking up from where he lay.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, do you know where you are?\u201d Ben held his breath until Joe nodded. \u201cTell me.\u201d Joe took a minute or so until finally he blurted out the word he needed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHome\u2026\u201d Ben thought for a few minutes. There was no excitement in the child\u2019s voice. In fact Joseph spoke in a bit of a monotone. Could there have been some brain damage after all? Was he expecting too much from the little boy? If only he knew.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe do you remember the fire?\u201d he asked deciding he had to try since this was the first time he had really been able to talk to his son. \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScared,\u201d Joe said with a bit more inflection. Tears welled up in his eyes. Ben moved to brush them away and Joe threw himself at his father again. \u201cDon\u2019t leave me, Papa, don\u2019t leave me.\u201d Gathering his boy in his arms, Ben whispered to the frightened child. Joe sobbed, not offering any more information. Ben cradled him until he was calmed. Soft breathing followed. The father realized his son had fallen asleep which was most likely a good thing. Carrying his burden as if he were as delicate as glass, Ben took Joe up to bed. While he was there, Adam and Hoss came in, the boys noisy as usual, Hoss demanding lunch and Adam teasing him. Finally Hop Sing joined in just as Ben came down stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou boys no good. You no wait for father to eat,\u201d Hop Sing was scolding as Adam and Hoss sat down at the dining room table.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m getting puny, Hop Sing. I gotta eat sumthin,\u201d Hoss moaned in a pitiful tone which Adam was quick to nab.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuick, Hop Sing. Get some oatmeal. That\u2019ll fill him up\u2026for about five seconds.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou boys need to be quiet. Little Joe is sleeping,\u201d Ben chided sitting down with his sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas going to see Ma too much for the little fella, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss. It\u2019s hard to figure what\u2019s going inside Joseph\u2019s head right now. He talked to me though. He pleaded with me not to leave him.\u201d Hop Sing was putting some meatloaf and mashed potatoes on the table, along with fresh baked bread and butter. It was a light early afternoon meal, but since the family had had breakfast late, it would be enough. Adam hesitated before starting to eat.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s his worst fear, Pa, being alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Son. I think he was terribly traumatized by the fire and being away from us, especially so soon after Marie\u2026\u201d Ben pushed his own plate away and put his head down. Hoss didn\u2019t move, his eyes going from his father to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead and eat, Hoss,\u201d Adam told him. \u201cPa?\u201d
\nBen stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou boys finish your lunch. I\u2019m going out to the barn. Maybe cleaning up the tack room will get rid of some of this anger inside me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou angry, Pa? What about?\u201d Hoss asked with innocent little boy confusion.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m angry about many things, Hoss,\u201d Ben admitted. \u201cI\u2019m angry we had to lose Marie, that you boys don\u2019t have a mother and now this with Joseph. He shouldn\u2019t have had to go through the fire and whatever else happened to him. But it all happened and this family will go on. I just have to do something to help myself deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want us to go with you, Pa?\u201d Adam queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. You stay in the house in case Joseph wakes up. I\u2019ll be back.\u201d Adam and Hoss watched their father go outside. Hoss eat his lunch. Adam got up and went upstairs. He checked on Joe and then went to his own room. Like his father he had his own thinking to do. Sitting on the bed, he leaned back, thinking of Marie and Joe. He had been so resentful of Marie until Joe was born. Somehow once his little brother made his appearance, Adam ceased to resent Marie\u2019s intrusion on their lives. She was Joe\u2019s mother\u2026and once he let her, she became his as well. His Pa was right. It wasn\u2019t fair. It wasn\u2019t fair for Joe to have suffered or for Marie to have died so suddenly and violently. Little Joe had just begun to understand his loss when the fire occurred. Now, given the additional trauma he had suffered, would his little buddy ever come back? Adam wondered, wondered and prayed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d a voice called out perhaps an hour later. \u201cPa! Pa!\u201d Adam threw himself off his bed. In seconds he was down the hall entering Joe\u2019s room. \u201cPapa!\u201d Adam froze as Hoss ran and bumped into him from behind. \u201cAdam, where\u2019s Papa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Hey Little Buddy,\u201d Adam answered with caution, approaching his brother as if he were seeing a ghost. Little Joe was sitting up in bed. Tears were streaming down his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want Papa, Adam. I want Papa. Where is he?\u201d Adam turned back to Hoss who nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get him.\u201d The younger boy disappeared. Adam sat on the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s out in the barn, Joe.\u201d Joe\u2019s green eyes reflected his disbelief.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had a dream,\u201d the little boy confided. \u201cI dreamed Papa was gone\u2026that he went away with Mama. Where is he, Adam? I need Papa.\u201d Joe threw himself at Adam just as he had at Ben. This time as he sobbed he kept on talking.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey kept saying that you and Hoss and Papa were\u2026were dead like Mama. I told them you wouldn\u2019t leave me, but you did. You did. Why? Why did you leave me?\u201d Adam sighed. So this was what had been haunting his little brother. If ever someone would understand Little Joe\u2019s fears it was Adam who for most of his childhood had only his father to call his own. Before he could answer, Ben came running into the room with Hoss close behind.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph. Joseph!\u201d Joe sat back, his little boy face streaked with tears. Adam looked up to his father from the bed. There were tears in Adam\u2019s eyes as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, they told him we died\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the fire,\u201d Little Joe finished. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to believe them. They lied. I knew they did, but I didn\u2019t know and you left me.\u201d The last three words ends in a wailing crescendo. Ben flew to his son. While Adam and Hoss watched, the father comforted the little boy as best he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you know we would never leave you willingly. We lost you after the fire. We couldn\u2019t find you even though we looked and looked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo you didn\u2019t. If you had, you would have found me,\u201d Joe cried, hitting his father on the chest. \u201cYou left me.\u201d Ben grabbed the small hands. He set Joe back a few inches so that the child was able to meet his gaze. Intense brown eyes locked on the vulnerable ones of a tiny boy who had just lived his worst nightmare.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you know I wouldn\u2019t lie about something so serious. San Francisco is a big city. Adam\u2026well Papa was sick for a while, so Adam put out posters to tell people in other towns that we were looking for you. That\u2019s how we found you. Someone notified us through a poster. We love you, Joseph. You know that.\u201d Joe looked down. He wiped away the tears. Slowly his gaze went to Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you look for me?\u201d he asked with little boy hope. Adam nodded. Hoss was stunned for a minute by the question. He burst out as angry as anyone had ever seen him.<\/p>\n

\u201cShortshanks, I don\u2019t care what no body said. They had no right to tell ya we was dead. Durn fool no goods. We wouldn\u2019t never leave ya and that\u2019s a fact. We was scared too, scared we\u2019d never see ya agin. So we was real glad to find you and bring you home. This house aint never been so danged quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, watch your language,\u201d Ben interceded on automatic.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa. I just caint believe what they done told the little fella. How could they?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey was mean, that\u2019s why,\u201d Joe offered. \u201cWell the lady wasn\u2019t but he was. He\u2026he hit me.\u201d Ben couldn\u2019t stand that confession. He pulled Joe into a hug. Adam came over with Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you\u2019re home now. We\u2019re sorry you had to go through such an ordeal by yourself. Your papa and Adam and Hoss will never let something like that happen again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026but how can ya stop it?\u201d Little Joe asked. \u201cMama went away and you couldn\u2019t stop that. Then that man took me and you couldn\u2019t do anything. I\u2019m scared, Papa. I don\u2019t want to be away from you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that why you haven\u2019t been talking?\u201d Ben asked. Little Joe shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cDunno.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joseph, I guess there are no guarantees, but the truth is, no matter what happens, Papa, Adam and Hoss will always, always love you and we\u2019ll always try to be here for you. And if someone tells you otherwise, don\u2019t you believe it, not until you see for yourself its true.\u201d Little Joe nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise, Papa. I won\u2019t believe em ever.\u201d Joe was content to let Ben pick him up and carry him down stairs that afternoon. As Ben held his little boy, he could see where just a few hours had shown him what he truly had to be grateful for. His heart was afire with love for the little boy who chattered on and on and asked why it was hard to stand or walk and on and on as only Joseph could. Joe was on his way home. And Ben Cartwright\u2019s plate was full with love for his boys\u2026and always for the women who loved him enough to leave him his three sons.<\/p>\n


\n~The End<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0As the first anniversary of Marie\u2019s death approaches, Ben takes the boys to San Francisco in an attempt to divert them from sad memories. Instead the family is faced with their worst nightmares. Can the fire in their hearts keep them going long enough to survive one more tragic event?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 (14,680 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10662,"featured_media":8908,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Hearts Afire (by Christy)","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/San-Francisco.jpg?fit=463%2C336&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10662"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16268"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16268\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8908"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}