{"id":16270,"date":"2005-08-09T05:52:07","date_gmt":"2005-08-09T09:52:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16270"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:40","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:40","slug":"hearts-afire-2-choices-by-christy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16270","title":{"rendered":"Hearts Afire #2 – Choices (by Christy)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Just before Adam goes away to college, an unexpected near tragedy teaches him how choices in his life may or may not change how his family feels about him\u2026no matter where he is.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (5,200 words)<\/p>\n

Choices<\/strong><\/p>\n

The little boy was no more than six years old riding proud as punch in front of his brother, a man a dozen so years older, just eighteen with a head of dark hair and chocolate colored eyes that matched his father\u2019s. Hanging from the pommel of the saddle was a picnic basket and two poles for fishing were snaking out of the scabbard that Adam Cartwright usually kept his rifle in. Today wasn\u2019t a day to worry about guns. It was a Saturday, a day to enjoy with Little Joe, Adam\u2019s baby brother, just weeks before Adam was to go back East to college.<\/p>\n

\u201cHurry, Adam, hurry,\u201d little Joe urged. \u201cThe fishes will all be gone.\u201d Adam held back a chuckle. His little brother was fidgeting in the saddle. He was so like his mother, always wanting to be on the go. When they finally reached Washoe Lake, Adam helped the little boy down then handed him his pole. Joe looked up at his brother with wide impatient green eyes that sparkled with anticipation.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Adam. Like Pa says, the day\u2019s a wasting.\u201d Joe ran towards the edge of the lake. Adam took the blanket, picnic basket, can of worms and his own pole and followed his brother. Sitting down on the blanket he spread out and put the supplies on, he sat for a minute drinking in the fresh air.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam can I take off my socks and shoes huh? I want to go into the water.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you know you can only go in with me. Take your socks and shoes off and wait for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cK,\u201d Joe answered. Adam watched the little boy with a smile. Sometimes he was jealous of the child, so innocent, so secure in his world. When Adam was Joe\u2019s age, he was taking care of Hoss and they were still working their way across the country with a wagon train. It didn\u2019t seem possible sometimes that a place like the Ponderosa could exist and they hadn\u2019t known it. At the same time this was the only world Little Joe knew. With Boston looming in the horizon Joe\u2019s little boy innocence was even more amazing. Adam envied him.<\/p>\n

The morning was spent pleasantly, the brothers enjoying the peace and quiet of Washoe Lake and the surrounding countryside. There was hardly a sound in the air beyond a sweet wisp of wind and an occasional bird shifting through the ponderosa pines around them. Joe\u2019s voice echoed when he caught a small fish and then a bigger one, his excitement contagious. Adam was pleased to add his own catch to his little brother\u2019s. The fish were biting despite Joe\u2019s restless movements as he walked deeper into the water until Adam spoke up.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, be careful. You go too far into the water and Pa\u2019s liable to not be too happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw Adam, the water\u2019s nice and cool and it\u2019s so hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Joe, but ya gotta listen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa aint Pa,\u201d the boy cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, if I have to take you out of the water, we will go home right now, and you know it will happen,\u201d Adam warned. Joe sulked but came back towards shore. His pants were wet to the knees. Adam was tempted to let him strip to his underpants and just go for a swim. Joe learned to swim when he was little more than a toddler thanks to Marie\u2019s insistence. He was a little fish. Instead Adam called a break.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Joe. Lunchtime. Hop Sing\u2019s fried chicken is going to taste great. I\u2019m starved.\u201d They left the fish tied to a string leaving them in the water to keep cool. Joe ran over to the basket his little argument forgotten.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m real hungry,\u201d he cried with the emphasis on real. \u201cI bet I could eat as much as Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one can eat as much as Hoss,\u201d Adam laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can, I\u2019ll show ya!\u201d Joe delved into the picnic basket bringing up a platter of fried chicken. Adam grabbed it before the overexcited child could drop it. Taking off the linen that covered the platter he gave Joe a leg.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere ya go, Little Buddy.\u201d Joe was happy munching on the chicken leg. Adam helped himself to the chicken, apples, biscuits and cookies that Hop Sing sent along with them. They drank water fresh from the lake.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Joe queried between mouthfuls. \u201cCan I ask ya something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Little Buddy, anything you want,\u201d Adam returned. \u201cIf you chew your food before you talk.\u201d Joe chewed and swallowed, then took another bite and chewed again. About to speak, he remembered what Adam said and waited. Adam wondered if he had been as restless at Joe\u2019s age as the boy was and decided he hadn\u2019t. He had too much responsibility.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do ya hafta go away?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to go away, Little Buddy. I want to go to college to study.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa can go ta school with me,\u201d Joe offered. \u201cTeacher knows an awful lot.\u201d Adam brushed Joe\u2019s hair a bit. Joe pulled away.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Little Buddy. Sometimes I forget you\u2019re getting so big. I bet you\u2019ll be able to help Hoss and Pa a lot while I\u2019m gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I don\u2019t wantcha ta go way, Adam,\u201d Joe said putting his chicken down.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019m just going to school. I\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw ya won\u2019t. Ya won\u2019t come back at all.\u201d Adam tried to reach for Joe, but the child jumped up. He ran off toward the lake. Quickly Adam reached Joe, pulling him down to the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what\u2019s this about? I promise I\u2019m going to come back.\u201d Joe tried to pull away. Adam held fast. Joe tried to hit at Adam until he burst into tears. The big brother was taken aback as Joe hugged Adam with all his might.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t wantcha ta go, Adam. Ya won\u2019t come back. Ya\u2019ll go way like Mama did.\u201d Adam felt as if an arrow had pierced his own chest. Joe was sobbing his eyes out the poor baby hugging Adam as if he would just disappear.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, calm down,\u201d His words were definitely lost to Little Joe. Picking up the small boy, Adam walked back to the blanket with the picnic basket and Joe\u2019s uneaten chicken on its napkin. Cradling his baby brother in his arms, holding him tightly, Adam remembered the nights after Joe\u2019s mother\u2019s death when Joe cried fro his mother. Adam took his father\u2019s place in comforting the child since Ben was just too devastated by his wife\u2019s death to really take care of his children, especially an emotionally lost little boy. Joe took Marie\u2019s death so hard and small wonder. One minute Marie was vibrant, laughing, playing and teasing her little son and the next minute she was gone, killed instantly in a riding accident. It was too much for Adam to understand sometimes, much less a little boy who was barely five years old at the time. Now, a year and a half later, Adam comforted the boy again until he calmed down.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I promise. I promise I\u2019ll come back. How about this? When I go away on the stage, I\u2019ll leave you a letter and then every week I\u2019ll send you and Hoss and Pa another letter right up until the day I come home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t come back,\u201d Joe insisted. \u201cWhen people go far away, they don\u2019t come back.\u201d Joe hung his head. Adam lifted the small chin looking into the little face that was so sad.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike Mama?\u201d he asked. For a second Joe didn\u2019t answer until he nodded looking down again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Mama went to heaven. She can\u2019t send letters from heaven, but I can send letters from college and I can even come home.\u201d
\nJoe\u2019s tears continued but seemingly in a more controlled sad manner. He moved away from Adam, turning his back to him, his lunch forgotten. Adam waited.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Little Buddy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Mama want to go to heaven like you want to go way?\u201d Joe\u2019s little boy confusion wasn\u2019t lost on his oldest brother, the man who had raised him every bit as their father. Adam couldn\u2019t remember his own mother. He was only Joe\u2019s age when Hoss\u2019 mother Inger died, but she\u2019d been with them such a short time. Marie, Marie was the only mother any of the boys ever knew. Adam put his hand on the little boy\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d he said. \u201cDon\u2019t you know your mama would never leave you if she had a choice?\u201d Joe turned around<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why would you?\u201d he wailed. Adam shook his head. Joe just didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, why don\u2019t we talk to Pa about this. Maybe he can help you to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw he can\u2019t. You\u2019re the only one can explain it cause you\u2019re going way. Adam, can we go home now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWant to go for a swim?\u201d Joe looked out over the lake. Adam thought the child would say no. When Joe got an idea in his head he probably would just want to go home. He was surprised when Joe nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I? I\u2019m hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Little Buddy. I\u2019ll even go with you.\u201d Joe took off his shirt and pants leaving only his underwear. Adam did the same. Little Joe jumped into the water with a screech and a holler. Adam did the same. When he came up he was relieved to see Joe\u2019s face wreathed in smiles.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nice and cold, Adam. Pa\u2019d like it cold wouldn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet he would Little Buddy, specially on a day like this. It\u2019s hot enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss would like to play too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThink we should go home and let Pa and Hoss come with us?\u201d
\nJoe seemed to think about that for a minute. Then he shook his head with a mischievous grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw. We\u2019s having fun by ourselves.\u201d Adam laughed as Joe went under water then came up spouting the fresh clear liquid. Joe could change moods so fast it was downright scary as Hoss would say. Feeling younger than he had for a long time he, Adam chased Joe in the water, splashing him and throwing him up in the air and then letting the little boy hit the water. Joe\u2019s giggles were a treasure to the older boy. After about an hour of fun, Adam decided they\u2019d better get home since their pa would be expecting them.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Little Joe,\u201d he ordered walking up on shore. \u201cTime to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne more dive, Adam, please,\u201d Joe begged. Adam grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing. One more dive. Go on, Joe. I\u2019ll get Sport and then we can go.\u201d Adam kept an eye on Joe splashing in the water and walked up to the tree where Sport was happily munching away on some grass under the tree. Bringing the horse down towards the shore, he started to pack up. It was only a minute before he realized that Joe was way too quiet.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Joe, where are you?\u201d With a bit of fear in his heart, growing by leaps and bounds, Adam Cartwright yelled for his brother over and over again. Racing to the lake, he looked into the clear waters. He couldn\u2019t see Joe anywhere.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod, please,\u201d he pleaded. \u201cJoe this isn\u2019t funny.\u201d Trying to calm himself, he thought of where Joe was diving. Rushing to the spot, he jumped in to the water fully clothed. Swimming beneath the water, he was running out of air when he saw Joe\u2019s body lying on the sandy bottom, only four feet deep. He also saw a rock. In a second he grabbed his brother, pulling him to the surface as fast as he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, oh, God, Joe,\u201d he screamed on the surface. It took nothing for the strong young man to carry Joe to shore. Laying the tiny body of his baby brother on the ground, Adam was losing his composure. \u201cJoe, breathe,\u201d he cried. \u201cPlease, Joe. Please don\u2019t die.\u201d Turning Joe on his side he patted Joe on the back hard trying to get out the water that he thought was choking the life out of the little boy. He could see a growing bump on the top of Joe\u2019s head indicating how the boy had come to be on the lake bottom.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Joe. Come on.\u201d Joe\u2019s body was limp in Adam\u2019s arms but he breathed when he coughed up some water.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, oh, Joe. Thank God,\u201d Adam cried. He scooped the boy up in his arms and held him close while mounting Sport. He had to get Joe home so the doctor could see him and help him. Lying Joe face forward, letting the boy\u2019s forehead lean against his chest, Adam choked back his tears as he rode home, talking non-stop to Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe, I\u2019m so sorry. I should have seen that rock. I\u2019m sorry you hit your head. I love you Little Buddy. I promise if you just wake up, I won\u2019t go away. I won\u2019t go away. I won\u2019t leave you.\u201d He kept on talking, kept on praying as Joe breathed and coughed next to him without waking. Riding hard he rode into the yard calling for his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Pa! Come quick. Pa, hurry.\u201d Ben Cartwright threw open the front door and then hurried to his son to Adam\u2019s relief. Hoss came running from where he had been working in the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben asked. \u201cAdam. Dear God. Joe! Oh, Baby. Adam let me have him. WHAT HAPPENED?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice escalated as Adam threw himself off his horse.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he hit his head on a rock. He almost drowned, Pa. I\u2019m sorry. I just turned away for a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have turned away at all,\u201d Ben snapped. \u201cHoss go for the doctor, quick.\u201d Ben\u2019s arms went under Joe\u2019s shoulders and knees, clutching the small body to him. Adam was sick at the sight of his father\u2019s distress. Hoss spoke up.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Pa. I\u2019ll git the doc.\u201d Adam froze where he was, feeling guiltier than ever. Ben rushed into the house, yelling for Hop Sing. Hoss put his hand on his big brother\u2019s shoulder. At thirteen, Hoss was almost as tall as and even bigger than Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t mean it, Adam. Little Joe\u2019ll be jus fine, ya wait an see. He\u2019s always got his self in some kind of mischief.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was my fault, Hoss. He wouldn\u2019t have been in the water if I hadn\u2019t left him for a few minutes.\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t have an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI better go.\u201d Hoss hurried back to the barn. Before Adam knew it, Hoss had a horse saddled and was racing past Adam. Adam wanted to run away, wanted to hide, but he knew he couldn\u2019t. He\u2019d almost killed Little Joe, his father\u2019s baby. Adam resisted the urge to fall to his knees and sob. Forcing himself to walk, he went into the house and up to Joe\u2019s room, uncertain what to do first. Looking up from Joe\u2019s bed, Ben snapped at his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, help me.\u201d Without hesitation Adam hurried to Joe\u2019s bedside. Together father and son stripped Joe of his wet clothes. Hop Sing brought in some hot water. After bathing the boy and wrapping him in his night shirt, Ben washed the head wound just above Joe\u2019s forehead. Adam cringed at the wound, listening again to every breath Joe took, easier now, as if the water were gone to Adam\u2019s relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam started as Ben laid the boy in bed and covered him with blankets. Joe was so pale, it was terrifying to Ben. He took his anger and fear out on Adam without thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to hear it, Adam, not now.\u201d Unable to help himself, Ben pulled Joe\u2019s blanketed unconscious body into his arms, rocking back and forth with him as Adam watched, his own heart breaking for this father. Adam knew how Ben felt about the little boy, how sometimes it seemed as if only Joe kept Ben going after Marie died, only Joe\u2019s need for his father and those giggles they loved so much. Ben\u2019s words and actions were enough to break even the stoniest heart, much less his eldest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cBaby, it\u2019s time to wake up now,\u201d Ben crooned. \u201cPapa\u2019s here and you\u2019re going to be just fine. Joe? Baby?\u201d Adam couldn\u2019t stand to see his father\u2019s tears or Joe so lost to them. Bolting from the room, he ran out to the barn. Sport needed to be taken care of. Chores needed to be done. So much needed to be done. Collapsing in an empty stall in the barn, Adam pulled his knees to his chest. Over and over he went through those minutes. All he had done was get Sport. He hadn\u2019t been gone that long. How could Joe have hit his head on the rock? Joe was just having fun. Joe knew how to have fun, to play and tease his brothers, to hug his father and giggle. Joe\u2019s giggles taught Adam what being a little boy was all about, something he himself never really enjoyed being. He spent his childhood pioneering west with his father, not always certain of where their next meal was coming from. Joe! Joe! Joe!<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Hoss\u2019 voice called. Adam looked up, surprised Hoss had found him. He didn\u2019t know how long he was sitting in the stall. It was dark. Joe? Where was Joe?<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI been looking fer ya, Big Brother. Pa was worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he should be worried about Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s done woke up, Adam. He\u2019s even had some soup. Little Brother wants ta see ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s awake?\u201d Adam cried with incredulous amazement. Racing past Hoss, Adam ran across the yard and into the house. Taking the stairs two at a time, the young man flew into Joe\u2019s room. There he found Joe leaning against their father as Ben read a story to the little boy. Joe sat up when he saw Adam silently watching him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Joe cried. \u201cOops, my head.\u201d He laid back against Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have a headache, Joseph,\u201d Ben scolded. \u201cRemember what Dr. Martin said?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, he wants me to stay in bed\u2026again.\u201d Adam walked into the room. \u201cPa, Adam saved me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he did, Son,\u201d Ben answered with pride. Adam was confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, it was my fault he hit his head. He could have drowned.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam. He dove into the water. You couldn\u2019t know he was going to hit his head. And you caught him quickly. Paul says he only got a little water into his lungs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he wasn\u2019t breathing when I found him. He was dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I don\u2019t know about that, but you did everything right and Joe just has a concussion from hitting his head.\u201d Ben tickled the little boy who burst into giggles that sang out in the room. \u201cHe has to stay in bed for a few days, and you get to help keep him entertained.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired now, Pa,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cI just wanted to thank Adam for saving me.\u201d Adam sat on the side of the bed. Joe snuggled against Ben. Ben\u2019s warm chocolate colored eyes went from Adam to Joe, continuing the story. Adam held Joe\u2019s hand, staring at the little boy as the tired green eyes flickered and closed in sleep. Adam apologized again while Ben caressed the soft dark curls of his baby.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa, I\u2019m so sorry. I never thought…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, just let us alone. I\u2019m going to sit with him for awhile.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was a little tighter than it had been. Adam figured his father had been pretending his forgiveness for Little Joe\u2019s sake. He was sure his father would never forgive him for the near miss. Walking out of his brother\u2019s room, he ignored Hoss bringing Ben some dinner and went into his own room. Lying down on his bed, the young man lay on his back looking at the ceiling. Going away to college couldn\u2019t come soon enough\u2026and maybe Joe was right. Maybe he wouldn\u2019t be coming back. He could never have the same relationship with his father or Joe or even Hoss again. He was sure of it.<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t sleep much that night. If he expected Ben to come in to look in on him as he usually did, he was disappointed and more certain than ever that his pa was angry with him. In the morning, he got up and walked down the hall. Peeking in on Joe, he saw the little boy was still sleeping, his little arms flung every which way, his covers kicked off, and his little face angelic in sleep. Adam resisted going into the room and hugging Joe to him. Instead he walked downstairs to find his father and Hoss already eating breakfast.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning, Adam,\u201d Hoss greeted happily between bites of pancakes. \u201cBetter hurry. Hop Sing\u2019s made a great breakfast and I\u2019m powerful hungry.\u201d Adam\u2019s brown eyes met his father\u2019s. Ben nodded a good morning but didn\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll just have coffee,\u201d he said sitting down.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you need to eat,\u201d Ben put in.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hungry, Pa.\u201d Ben ate quietly. Hoss took his cue from his father. When Adam finished his coffee, he started to get up.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, a minute please. Hoss, will you get some breakfast for your brother and then go upstairs and stay with him while I talk to your brother? You can take your plate too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Hoss answered. He disappeared into the kitchen with his plate still filled with food. Ben stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, walk outside with me, will you?\u201d Adam felt the urge to sink through the floor. Instead he followed his father outside. Shutting the door behind him, he joined Ben who turned around to put his hand on his oldest son\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam I owe you an apology,\u201d Ben said first. Adam was taken aback.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam. I shouldn\u2019t have blamed you for what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was my fault!\u201d Adam concurred. He moved away from his father leaning on a chair, looking away from Ben. \u201cI should have watched him more closely.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you do, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me how the accident happened. Just humor me, Son.\u201d
\nAdam told of walking away from Joe for a few minutes and getting Sport. It only took a short time to bring the horse down. Only a minute or two passed when he didn\u2019t hear Joe playing in the lake.
\nBen put his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder again.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Dr. Martin said you found him very quickly. Any of us could have done the same thing. It wasn\u2019t your fault. It was an accident pure and simple.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow does the doctor know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause Joe recovered so quickly. If he stopped breathing it wasn\u2019t long. You did everything right for him. I\u2019m very proud of you, Son. You must have been terribly afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure was,\u201d Adam admitted shuddering again. \u201cI never saw Joe that still, not even in bed.\u201d Ben chuckled. Adam felt a tear fall.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe is a bundle of energy that\u2019s for sure. Adam, when I saw Joe like that, all I could think of was his mother. I needed someone to blame, and you were handy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa\u2026\u201d Adam turned around. Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not making myself clear. I didn\u2019t just need someone to blame for Joe\u2019s accident. I was reliving Marie\u2019s accident. I\u2019ve blamed myself for a long time, ever since that day for her death. I told her time and again not to ride so fast, but she never listened, and I kept thinking I could have done something to stop her from that fall. When I saw Joe, I used you to funnel my guilt. Joe\u2019s accident wasn\u2019t your fault any more than Marie\u2019s accident was my fault. An accident just happens.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if Joe died,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cWould you be so forgiving?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam, and I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t have to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, it\u2019s going to take me a long time to forgive myself. I can\u2019t just forget it.\u201d Ben nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree, Adam. I know it\u2019ll take a while, but the truth is, you\u2019re not to blame. Joe and Hoss are lucky to have you for a big brother\u2026and I\u2019m proud of you.\u201d Ben hugged Adam who was stiff in his arms. Ben didn\u2019t comment. Adam didn\u2019t know what to do or feel. He still felt guilty, but he was glad his father didn\u2019t blame him for the accident. Now if he could just forgive himself.<\/p>\n

Over the next few days, Adam worked hard on the ranch. Little Joe was constantly underfoot but Adam seldom disciplined him as he used to. One afternoon when Adam and Hoss came back after a grueling day mending fences, they found Joe had ruined some hay bales by sliding on them. The nice stacks in the barn would need to be stacked and tied and put in the loft. Joe must have pushed them out of the loft and then played on them. Hoss found the stacks but no Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, ya better see this,\u201d Hoss said as Adam came into the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, Hoss?\u201d Joining his brother, Adam\u2019s temper flared. \u201cJoe, where are you?\u201d At first there was no answer. Then Joe giggled as he came out of the hay. He had no repentance on his little face as Adam towered over him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? You know better than to play in the hay like that. What\u2019s wrong with you?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted to have some fun, Adam. It was hot and there was no one to play with.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Pa?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe had to go to town and get the mail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I ought to tan your hide,\u201d Adam growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa can\u2019t. Ya aint Pa,\u201d Joe sassed back. Hoss\u2019 hand flew over his mouth. Adam didn\u2019t wait. He turned Joe around and slapped his backside good. Joe giggled not upset at all. Adam slapped him again. When the older boy turned his brother around, Joe was still giggling even though he had tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what is wrong with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was wondering when ya was gonna be Adam again,\u201d Joe said. \u201cYa aint yelled at me for a long time.\u201d Adam\u2019s anger melted away at Joe\u2019s words. Sinking down into the hair, he pulled Joe down. Hoss plopped down beside his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou little scamp,\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cYou did this on purpose, didn\u2019t you, to get me mad.\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I figured ya would git mad. I can clean it up, Adam, honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you will, Little Buddy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen ya go ta college, I\u2019ll have ta help Hoss, won\u2019t I? Cause ya won\u2019t be here and there\u2019s lots a work. Pa always says,\u201d Joe went on.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, about me going to college,\u201d Adam started figuring he had his brother\u2019s undivided attention. \u201cI don\u2019t have to go if you don\u2019t want me to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Adam. Ya can go ta school.\u201d Adam leaned back in the hay thunderstruck.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d he asked. Little Joe\u2019s face was completely calm, and at peace with what he was saying.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I thought about whatcha said that day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt the lake?\u201d Adam guessed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Joe looked down as Hoss nibbled on a piece of straw. When those bright innocent green eyes looked up at Adam, the young man felt as though he never could leave this child, even though he knew he had to for his own growth.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured ya were right. Mama didn\u2019t want ta go away. She couldn\u2019t help it iffn she got hurt on her horse. Just like I got hurt in the water. Sometimes bad stuff happens, don\u2019t\u2019 it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe, sometimes it does,\u201d Adam concurred. Joe sighed as he looked up with another question.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Iffn I didn\u2019t wake up, do ya think I woulda gone ta heaven too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think, Joe?\u201d Adam asked, slightly shaking his head at Hoss whose big blue eyes widened at the question.<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked Pa. He said I would go to heaven, but not for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA long time,\u201d Hoss breathed in relief. \u201cNot till yer older than Pa.\u201d Joe considered that for a minute. Then he looked back at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa promise ya\u2019ll write?\u201d Adam pulled Joe to him in a hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery week, Little Buddy, every week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay. But ya know, Pa says he might decide ta come and see you and he might take Hoss and me too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did say that,\u201d Hoss agreed. \u201cWouldn\u2019t it be something to see a big city like Boston and see where Adam is going to go to school?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanta see all the stores with candy,\u201d Little Joe said. \u201cAnd trains and wagons and guns and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, Little Buddy,\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cLet me go and check those places out for you. Then when you come to visit, I\u2019ll know just where to take you and spend all Pa\u2019s money.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa won\u2019t like that, Adam,\u201d Hoss teased.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure he will\u2026if I can find something for him to spend his money on for himself,\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cCome on, Joe, Hoss and I will help you with this hay. I guess I owe you that much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t owe nobody nuthin,\u201d Hoss laughed, throwing hay at his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid I hear him say hey, Hoss. I think it\u2019s time to show Little Joe what playing in the hay gets you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that, Adam?\u201d Hoss asked. Adam grinned from ear to ear as he grabbed Joe and covered him with hay while the child protested over his giggles and Hoss joined Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuried!\u201d Adam exclaimed just as Ben came into the barn with his horse, Buck. Joe\u2019s giggles were muffled as Adam piled hay on the child and Hoss tickled him. It was a picture Ben would carry with him for a long time before his voice bellowed in the barn and Adam\u2019s grin met his.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoys\u2026what\u2019s the meaning of this mess?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Pa,\u201d Adam yelled back. \u201cWant to join us? We\u2019re looking for Little Joe.\u201d Ben chuckled. He shook his head as Joe called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, save me, save me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got him, Pa, don\u2019t worry. He\u2019s safe.\u201d Adam pulled his brother out of the hay, standing him up and brushing him off.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee, we found him,\u201d Adam went on laughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy turn!\u201d Joe cried. \u201cHoss, help me bury Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, help me,\u201d Adam begged in return as he was covered with hay. Somewhere out of the dimness of his tickling body and the hay over his eyes, Adam heard his father\u2019s voice and knew he was indeed safe. He might not always be in the safety of his father\u2019s arms he thought as Ben helped him out of the hay\u2026but he knew, no matter what choices he made, he\u2019d always be safe\u2026in the hearts of those who loved him most, Ben, Hoss and Little Joe.<\/p>\n


\n~The End<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0Just before Adam goes away to college, an unexpected near tragedy teaches him how choices in his life may or may not change how his family feels about him\u2026no matter where he is.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (5,200 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10662,"featured_media":4115,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1303,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/frontporch.jpg?fit=439%2C305&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":47673,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47673","url_meta":{"origin":16270,"position":0},"title":"The Old Teacher (by StephyL)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"January 10, 2001","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0Joe has a run in with a sub that Adam once had and soon things go from bad to worse. Rating:\u00a0 PG Words:\u00a0 3,600","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15524,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15524","url_meta":{"origin":16270,"position":1},"title":"Back from Back East (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"December 4, 2001","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: An explanation of why only one son went to college. Rating: T (860 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":919,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=919","url_meta":{"origin":16270,"position":2},"title":"Physics 101 (by the Tahoe Ladies)","author":"Tahoe Ladies","date":"August 19, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Adam becomes the 'butt' of a joke... Rated: K+ \u00a0Word Count:\u00a0 730","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-6.jpg?fit=303%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7172,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7172","url_meta":{"origin":16270,"position":3},"title":"By The Lake (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"August 7, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The aftermath of an argument sees Joe and Adam trying to mend fences.\u00a0 Rated:\u00a0 K+ \u00a0\u00a0 (730 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Friendship-4.jpg?fit=500%2C373&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7593,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7593","url_meta":{"origin":16270,"position":4},"title":"The Way of Things (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0When Adam disciplines Little Joe, Hoss has two brothers to console. Corporal punishment warning Rated:\u00a0T\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Word count:\u00a01418","rel":"","context":"In "Brothers"","block_context":{"text":"Brothers","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1009"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6442,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6442","url_meta":{"origin":16270,"position":5},"title":"Hunger (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"March 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0 Adam's quest to find answers. \u00a0 Hunger follows the events in Choices and Shadows. \u00a0It is not necessary to have read the previous stories.\u00a0 Rated: \u00a0T -- WC \u00a017,000 Choices Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10662"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16270"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16270\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}