{"id":16275,"date":"2004-01-09T06:02:11","date_gmt":"2004-01-09T11:02:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16275"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:17:35","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:17:35","slug":"for-the-love-of-little-joe-by-christy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16275","title":{"rendered":"For the Love of Little Joe (by Christy)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0When Little Joe is presumed dead and then shows up in Virginia City three years later, how will his past affect his future and how will lives be changed in finally bringing him home for good?<\/p>\n

Rated PG\u00a0 (27,180 words)<\/p>\n

Author’s Note:\u00a0 Much Thanks to Rona for getting me started in writing Bonanza Fan Fiction and for her infinite patience in helping me write this story.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the Love of Little Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Prologue<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright was deep in thought while he walked from a meeting at the International House in Virginia City. His mind was methodically measuring the amount of trees that would need to be taken down to fill a new logging contract. They would need to order new saplings to plant to replenish the ones thinned. Long ago, Ben had made that practice a rule. For every tree felled on the Ponderosa a new one was planted. His mind preoccupied, Ben suddenly collided with a young man coming out of a new General Store that had been opened recently. Both men stumbled backwards a bit. Ben was about to apologize when his chocolate colored eyes focused on the hot-headed curly haired man who turned on him with blazing green eyes and temper let loose.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell is the matter with you, Mister?\u201d the boy demanded. Ben shook his head in confusion, his heart starting to hammer in wild hope as he recognized the young man in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait!\u201d the older silver haired man exclaimed. Ben didn\u2019t see the gun fire but he felt his chest explode in a fire of agony. Crumbling to his knees, Ben Cartwright witnessed the young man collapse to the ground unconscious. From far away he heard footsteps.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d he gurgled. \u201cNo, Joe!\u201d Ben\u2019s hand went out to the boy, and then hit the ground with the rest of his body. Still clinging to reality, the terribly wounded Cartwright tried to crawl towards the son he believed had died\u2026three years ago. Only able to move a few inches, Ben\u2019s hand was outstretched, touching the brown curls until he lost consciousness, fighting for a life that might have been taken by his own son.<\/p>\n

Chapter 1<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss Cartwright burst through the doors to Dr. Paul Martin\u2019s office. One of the sheriff\u2019s deputies had ridden out to the ranch to get the two men but both had been out working, Hoss rounding up cattle and Adam mending fences. It had taken a while to find each of them. Now, it was early evening, several hours since Ben had been shot. The brothers met each other on the road, riding in silent anguish into town as fast as their mounts would carry them. Paul came out of his surgery at the sound of the doors slamming.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Hoss. I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here,\u201d the doctor greeted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s our Pa, Doc?\u201d Hoss demanded, his blue eyes showing his anguish. Brother Adam\u2019s mouth was set in a hard line. The young man was wound tighter than a coiled rope ready to snap. Dr. Martin\u2019s voice was grim as he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour Pa is sleeping, Hoss. I\u2019m sorry to say he was gravely injured. Right now it\u2019s touch and go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Hoss cried. \u201cWhat the hell happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApparently he was shot outside the General Store. The shooter is in jail. A witness says he drew on Ben for no reason and just shot him. Ben never had a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll kill em,\u201d Hoss hissed. \u201cAint Pa been through enough?\u201d Tears stood in the big man\u2019s eyes. Dr. Martin put his hand on Hoss\u2019 shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, talk like that will not help your father. Knowing Ben, the best medicine for him is to have you boys by his side. Normally my wife and I would do the nursing, but I know you boys too well. Ben may be asleep, but he\u2019ll know you\u2019re here, so I\u2019ll fix up a bedroom and you can take turns sleeping while one of you sits with him. How\u2019s that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. Let us see him, Paul,\u201d Adam ordered. Paul ignored the cold tone. Adam Cartwright always kept his feelings under wraps, but since Joe\u2019s death, Ben\u2019s eldest son was darker than ever as if protecting his own was the only thing that mattered. Dr. Martin led the two men into the surgery where Ben lay sleeping. His shirt had been taken off leaving him covered with a large white dressing over his right chest. Ben\u2019s face was pale, his lips almost white. Hoss grabbed the end of the bed while Adam sat beside his father on the bed. Paul\u2019s heart bled for the two remaining Cartwright sons. When one of the Cartwright men was hurt, they all were in pain. Unable to witness the family\u2019s distress, Paul left the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice lingered in the air, the soft vulnerability tugging at Hoss\u2019 heart. Ben laid so still, his chest drawing in slow breaths, as if each might be his last. Taking the work worn hand in his own, Adam squeezed it, swallowing his disappointment when Ben didn\u2019t respond. \u201cPa, its Hoss and me. We\u2019re here.\u201d Adam had seldom seen his father so terribly injured. Hoss leaned over the bed, needing to let his pa know he was near.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re gonna stay right here with ya, Pa. You gotta fight. Please, Pa. Ya caint leave us,\u201d Hoss added. Adam\u2019s eyes rested on his brother for a minute. Hoss was so readable, his grief for his father written all over his face. Standing up, the older brother went to the younger placing an arm around the broad shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou stay with Pa, Hoss. I\u2019m going over to the jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, if yer aiming to git information outta that low down, no good low life, I\u2019d like ta help ya,\u201d Hoss offered. Adam knew what kind of help Hoss was offering. It wasn\u2019t in questioning the man. He shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t mean that, Hoss. You put your life on the line and Pa will have my head.\u201d Hoss had to chuckle at that.<\/p>\n

\u201cReckon he would at that. I\u2019ll stay with Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThought you would Little Brother. I\u2019ll be back.\u201d Adam walked back to his father\u2019s side. He squeezed Ben\u2019s hand again. \u201cPromise I\u2019ll be back, Pa.\u201d Leaving the doctor\u2019s house was hard for the black-clothed man. He wanted nothing more than to stay with his father, with the man he respected more than any other. Thoughts of his brother followed him down the street to the Virginia City jail. If Joe were here, would that make a difference to his father in fighting for his life? Adam scuffed to himself. Of course it would. Little Joe could convince Pa to do anything. He\u2019d keep at Pa till Ben did whatever he wanted him to. That was Joe. His baby brother had the same effect on all of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, why?\u201d Adam asked himself. \u201cWhy?\u201d He\u2019d never figure how Joe could have got himself killed the way he did. Joe\u2019s loss was a living nightmare to his father and brothers. The fifteen-year old had been on his way to school when he disappeared. Weeks later while Ben, Adam and Hoss still searched frantically for the boy, soldiers had wiped out a Bannock camp. Two captives, women, told how Joe was killed, his body thrown over a waterfall, only a few days before the raid. Joe had literally been tortured to death. Adam couldn\u2019t forget, no matter how he tried. He loved Joe so much\u2026he always would he figured. Shaking himself, the oldest Cartwright son left his thoughts behind and entered the Virginia City jail where Sheriff Roy Coffee was sitting at his desk. Roy stood to greet him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? Figured one of you boys would be over. How\u2019s your father?\u201d Adam\u2019s dark face was the sheriff\u2019s answer. Roy sighed. Ben was a good friend of his. Known the man more years than he could count and Ben\u2019s boys too.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is he, Roy?\u201d Each word was all Adam, stoic and hard. Roy nodded to the cell.<\/p>\n

\u201cGot him back there. There\u2019s something you should know though before you see him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d Roy looked uncomfortable, but somehow pleased at the same time. Adam barely noticed. Roy was middle aged with a receding brown hair line and a muscular build. He was as familiar to Adam as his own father was.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell. Don\u2019t reckon there\u2019s an easy way ta say this, but\u2026the man in the cell ain\u2019t much more n a boy and his name is Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026it\u2019s Little Joe.\u201d Adam clenched his fists as he quenched a show of emotion. Confusion, anger, hurt\u2026hope and disbelief all surged within while he fought to maintain his distance. His voice gave him away instantly as he hoarsely cried out.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! It can\u2019t be. Joe\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs God is my witness, Adam. Either its Little Joe or his twin brother. Look for yourself.\u201d Roy opened the door to the back of the building where the jail cells wear. Walking after him, Adam\u2019s mental argument against the possibilities went on as he approached the cell. The prisoner laid on a thin mattress and cot with his face to the wall. He didn\u2019t turn even when the men\u2019s footsteps sounded on the floorboard. Adam figured the boy had to have heard them. He saw the brown curls, even the form of the boy\u2019s body. Still he fought against believing\u2026or hoping. Roy spoke up.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Turn around Joe. There\u2019s someone here to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d the boy mumbled, still not moving.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright. It was his father you shot.\u201d Adam\u2019s furrowed eyebrows told Roy of his confusion at that comment. Roy bent over and whispered the rest of the story to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe says his name is Joe Black. He told me he don\u2019t have a family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDear God,\u201d Adam breathed out loud. With those words he figured he must have caught Little Joe\u2019s attention for the boy turned over in bed and sat up. Adam took a few steps back in his shock at taking in Little Joe\u2019s features. Joe! Joe! Joe! For a second Adam wondered if he could actually keep himself from running to Joe and hugging him. He had to stay in control. Of all times, he had to stay in control!<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll leave you two alone,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me into the cell, Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, that\u2019s not procedure,\u201d Roy deferred, his eyes narrowing with evident concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s my brother, Roy,\u201d Adam hissed his voice soft enough that Joe couldn\u2019t hear. \u201cFor God\u2019s sake I won\u2019t hurt him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me your gun,\u201d Roy ordered after hesitating for several seconds, looking back and forth between the two men. Adam gave the sheriff an exasperated look.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy! Do you think I would use it on him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but he could use it on you.\u201d Roy replied. Adam rolled his eyes, but realized the truth of the sheriff\u2019s words. If Joe would shoot his own father, he might shoot him. Adam handed over his gun and belt. Roy put the weapon and belt back in the office and then opened the door to the cell. Little Joe didn\u2019t move. Adam stood in the cell as Roy locked the cell door behind him. Shame faced, Little Joe hung his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he stammered. Adam steeled himself. How many times in his life had he heard Joe apologize and in just the same manner, with his head down and his voice contrite. Again it took everything he had not to take Joe in his arms and hug him, not just to comfort him but to know he was real. He took a deep breath before speaking.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2026you\u2019re admitting you shot our\u2026my father?\u201d Joe\u2019s head shot up. Adam steeled himself against the green eyes that stared into his own brown ones. Joe! Joe, how can you not know me, Adam screamed to himself. Little Buddy, it\u2019s me, Adam!<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t!\u201d Joe denied hotly with his usual impetuous temper. \u201cI didn\u2019t shoot him. I admit I drew my gun on him, but I didn\u2019t shoot him. I was just in a bad mood. Ya gotta believe me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA man saw you,\u201d Adam reminded him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care who saw me,\u201d Joe retorted. \u201cI didn\u2019t shoot him. The gun the sheriff took off me aint even mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMine was given to me by the man I worked for on a ranch over in California. He had my initials inscribed on it, JB. This one is a little fancier than mine even. It aint mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you tell the sheriff about the guns?\u201d Joe\u2019s skepticism at the question was written all over him. Adam sighed. His little brother wore his feelings like his clothes. Clearly he felt trapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I told him. He don\u2019t believe me. Why should he?\u201d Joe\u2019s skepticism about his own self hurt Adam. What happened to his little brother? Where was that funny kid who got into trouble at every turn with his schemes and impulsive nature? This boy was a shadow of the Joe Adam had known. He leaned against the wall, posing a less threatening stance, offering his support as he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell me what happened, and that way I might be able to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you want to help me?\u201d Joe asked with more skepticism. \u201cYou think I shot your father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s just say I believe a man is innocent until proven guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then you\u2019re sure different.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cListen, I have to get back to the doctor\u2019s office to see Pa. Tell me what happened, please.\u201d Adam couldn\u2019t keep his desperation out of his voice. If Joe picked up on it, he didn\u2019t know, but in any case, Adam was relieved when Little Joe told his story. The kid looked scared as he confessed what he believed happened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was coming out of the store when I bumped into this white haired old man.\u201d Adam hid a smile, knowing how his father would be insulted being called old. Joe went on. \u201cI got mad cause I figured he wasn\u2019t watching where he was going. I know I got a temper. It gets me in trouble all the time. So I drew my gun and told the old man to watch it. He got a funny look on his face and was staring at me. Then I heard a shot and the old man fell down. Next thing I know someone\u2019s hit me over the head and I was out. When I woke up I was here in this cell and the sheriff said I was under arrest for attempted murder. I swear I didn\u2019t shoot the old man. I\u2019m not a cold blooded killer.\u201d Joe spoke with passion, with determination and Adam knew truth. Inside, he breathed a sigh of relief. Joe hadn\u2019t shot Pa. Hoss would be glad to know that. Of course what if Ben told a different story when he woke up?<\/p>\n

\u201cMister, do you believe me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Adam asked his mind questioning him self and Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked didja believe me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny reason I shouldn\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! It\u2019s the honest truth. I\u2019m sorry your pa was hurt, and I really hope he gets better.\u201d Adam stood up. He patted Little Joe\u2019s shoulder, resisting the urge to tell him who he really was. He\u2019d have to talk to Dr. Martin about that.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe you, Joe. Don\u2019t you worry. I\u2019ll talk to the sheriff. For now you\u2019re going to have to stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care so much about being in jail. I just don\u2019t want to go to prison for something I didn\u2019t do,\u201d Little Joe said. \u201cI don\u2019t like real small spaces though either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, neither do I,\u201d Adam concurred. \u201cListen, Joe, I have to go back and see how Pa is. We\u2019ll get this mess straightened out. I want to find out who did shoot Pa, so one way or another if you\u2019re telling the truth, we\u2019ll get you out of here. How do you feel?\u201d Joe had leaned forward putting his head between his hands. Adam could see the bump on his head. About being hit, the kid definitely wasn\u2019t lying, but Adam had an idea on how that would be explained by the so called witness.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy head feels like I\u2019ve got the hangover of the century. Otherwise I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have the doctor come over and see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAint got much money. Don\u2019t need a doctor. I need to prove I\u2019m innocent.\u201d Adam felt pride in Little Joe\u2019s words. Joe could care less about seeing a doc, but when it came to his reputation, well, all the Cartwright men felt that their name should stand for something. It was ingrained in them by their father\u2019s pride almost from birth. If Adam wasn\u2019t convinced of his brother\u2019s innocence before, he was now. He patted the boy\u2019s shoulder so he looked up.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen,\u201d Adam almost said Little Buddy, his pet nickname for Little Joe. He stopped, taking a deep breath before he continued. \u201cListen, Joe. There\u2019s more going on here than either one of us understands. I want to be your friend and I want to help you. Are you with me?\u201d With his green eyes assessing Adam\u2019s face, Joe finally nodded much to the older man\u2019s relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood decision,\u201d Adam told him. \u201cI\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPromise?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise, Joe.\u201d Adam fled from the jail to the outer office before he gave away his worry and anxiety. With the outer door shut, Little Joe couldn\u2019t hear him talking to Roy.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, I want him released,\u201d Adam insisted. \u201cHe needs a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do that, Adam,\u201d Roy drawled. \u201cHe was seen shooting Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t do it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Adam are ya saying that cause he\u2019s yer brother or cause ya believe him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you know the answer to that, Roy. He\u2019s innocent.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, there\u2019s been a lot a talk in town. Some people aren\u2019t as sure as you are. I think Joe is safer here than out there. Why don\u2019t I do some investigating? In the meantime Doc can look at him here.\u201d Adam closed his eyes just for second gathering his patience. Pa was still out the last he heard, but Adam knew, he knew that if he heard Joe\u2019s voice, he\u2019d fight harder.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d he conceded against his own wishes. \u201cI\u2019ll check back with the doc and my pa and Hoss. But I won\u2019t stand by to watch Joe go to prison for a crime he didn\u2019t commit. Damn it, Roy, we just found him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you, Roy? I don\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow just a dang minute. I\u2019ve known you boys since you came to this country. Known Joe since the day he was born. Ben is one of my best friends. Don\u2019t you think I understand how upset Ben was when that little gal told him Joe was dead? Weren\u2019t no reason not to believe her. Ben took it hard and I know the family aint been the same since.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen for God\u2019s sake, Roy. Let him go. I\u2019ll take responsibility for him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d Adam threw up his hands in disgust. Stomping out of the sheriff\u2019s office, he wondered how he was going to free Joe in time to save his pa and help Joe at the same time to find himself.<\/p>\n

Chapter 2<\/p>\n

Back at the doctor\u2019s office, Hoss was sitting with Ben. The big man sat on a chair, his large paw holding his father\u2019s smaller hand in a firm grip. Ben was burning with fever. Dr. Martin\u2019s nurse kept a porcelain basin of cool water on a nightstand next to the bed. Hoss used clean clothes to keep Ben\u2019s forehead cool. Ben was restless, but did not regain consciousness.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Hoss stammered. \u201cPa\u2026I know yer hurtin with all this. Wish Joe was here ta tell ya it\u2019d be awright, but ya know it will be. Ya just gotta fight, Pa, please. Adam and me, we done lost Little Brother. We caint stand ta lose ya too. Pa? Pa kin ya hear me? If ya kin, I wouldn\u2019t mind was ya ta yell at me or something.\u201d Ben\u2019s lack of response ate at the young man. The emptiness in Hoss\u2019 heart threatened to consume him with a choking sensation that hurt worse than any physical pain. Iffn his little brother was here, he wouldn\u2019t leave their pa\u2019s side for nothing till Ben was well. Joe adored his pa. Hoss loved his father too and his brothers. He missed Little Joe every day. Sometimes he missed him so much his heart purely hurt.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice brought him out of his reverie. \u201cHoss, how\u2019s he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Aint nothing different.\u201d Hoss stood to let his brother sit with their father. Instead Adam drew Hoss out of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Whatcha doing? We don\u2019t wanta leave him alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to talk to you, Hoss. It\u2019s important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s so dang blasted important, Big Brother? Dad burn it, Adam, Pa needs us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Hoss. Just listen. I saw the man in jail. He\u2019s not just any man, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, who is it?\u201d Hoss asked with exasperation.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe.\u201d Adam was blunt, too blunt. Hoss was exhausted. Leaning against the wall, the middle brother stared at Adam as if he had said one of their long dead mothers was sitting in the jail instead of Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaint be,\u201d he gapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me, Hoss. I know our baby brother when I see him\u2026and talk to him.\u201d Adam could read Hoss as easily as a book. The same conflicts he felt were now flashing across his brother\u2019s face. Hoss was as stunned as he was and then some. Finally he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cI caint hardly… Little Joe\u2019s alive? But he shot Pa? He wouldn\u2019t. I don\u2019t believe it. Ya won\u2019t convince me in a million years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think he did either, Hoss. He says he didn\u2019t. The truth is, the only one who can tell us, is Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat exactly did the little feller say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe admits he drew on Pa, but it was in a temper, he insists he wouldn\u2019t have shot a man in cold blood. He\u2019s determined to prove his innocence.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIffn Little Joe didn\u2019t do it, then who did?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA man says he witnessed the shooting. We\u2019ll have to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what did Little Joe say when he saw you? What happened to him? How\u2019d he git back here? Why didn\u2019t he come to the ranch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, Little Brother,\u201d Adam answered. \u201cI have all the questions you do. He gave me some answers, but he can\u2019t give me all. Hoss, he has amnesia.\u201d Adam swallowed hating what he had to say. Hoss was stunned yet again. Adam\u2019s voice was filled with a vulnerable loss as he went on. \u201cJoe\u2026Joe didn\u2019t recognize me. He doesn\u2019t know who Pa is either.\u201d Hoss was in a state of disbelief.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! No, Adam. It aint true. I gotta go talk to him. He\u2019ll remember. He will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss, he won\u2019t. I talked to Paul at the jail. He\u2019s over there now examining Joe. Joe got hit on the head so that\u2019s a good excuse to check him out. Paul will know what to do, and whatever he says, we\u2019ll have to do it for Joe\u2019s sake.\u201d Hoss was about to answer when a terrific crash came from the surgery where Ben had been sleeping. Ben\u2019s voice cried out with a particular paternal sound that ripped at his sons. They raced into the room as he cried out again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! Joe!\u201d The brothers found their father lying on the floor, writhing in pain, rolling back and forth. He had pulled down a tray that contained the bowl of water and a pitcher of cold water on it. Ben was soaked to the skin.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d the men cried simultaneously. Hoss was quick to move despite his size. With exceedingly gentle care, he lifted Ben back on to the bed. Ben kept muttering for Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s delirious, Hoss,\u201d Adam murmured when Ben was lying down. Ben\u2019s forehead was hot to the touch, his face flushed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI kin see that. We gotta get him cleaned up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wants Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe must have seen him before he was\u2026\u201d Hoss couldn\u2019t bring himself to say the word, shot. \u201cHow are we gonna tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not just yet. Come on, let\u2019s get him warm and dry.\u201d Hoss simply nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Adam called to his father. \u201cPa, we\u2019re going to get you more comfortable. Can you hear me, Pa?\u201d Ben was weak. His chocolate colored eyes which often spoke of his thoughts and emotions were glazed, unfocused. Adam sighed as Ben just continued to mumble Joe\u2019s name. The older man allowed his sons to help him without fuss. Hoss found a nightshirt in the bedroom he and Adam were to use while staying with the doctor. They put it on over Ben after washing and drying him. Fortunately he didn\u2019t seem to have bothered the chest wound with his fall.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I swear,\u201d Adam sighed after Ben was settled and had fallen asleep. \u201cAnd you think your sons are bad patients.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe can\u2019t hear ya, Big Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Hoss.\u201d A knock on the door announced Dr. Paul Martin\u2019s arrival home. Hoss was cleaning up the shattered porcelain on the floor as Adam moved out of the doctor\u2019s way.<\/p>\n

\u201dWhat happened?\u201d Dr. Martin asked moving towards his patient. Without waiting for a reply, he went on. \u201cLet me check Ben over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe tried to git outta bed, Doc. He\u2019s been calling for Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Well, I can\u2019t say I\u2019m surprised. Natural he\u2019d call for Joe.\u201d Adam and Hoss exchanged glances but remained silent. Finally Dr. Martin finished his exam.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he\u2019s all right, no thanks to him. The fever is pretty high. His pulse is fast too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, if he could see, Little Joe, would that help?\u201d Adam asked. Dr. Martin looked from his patient to Ben\u2019s sons. He shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that mean?\u201d Hoss demanded. \u201cIs that a no?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat means it doesn\u2019t matter how much good seeing Little Joe would do Ben. It means that Joe doesn\u2019t know who he is much less his family. He wouldn\u2019t be able to help Ben even if he wanted to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t we tell him who he is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe suffered a concussion when he was hit over the head. I\u2019m not sure if telling him right now is the best thing for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe has to know,\u201d Adam ground out. \u201cDoctor, I\u2019m not going to sit around and let that kid suffer anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think he\u2019s suffering?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe thinks he\u2019s alone against an attempted murder charge. I don\u2019t believe he did it in the first place, but in the second I can\u2019t let him think he\u2019s alone any longer. He\u2019s been alone long enough.\u201d Hoss nodded his agreement. Dr. Martin was long used to the Cartwright boys\u2019 loyalty and love for the family. They were unique and very close despite the fact that in truth they were only half brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, but you have to remember it is going to be a shock for him. You cannot fill in his memories, Adam. He has to remember for himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. When can we tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet him rest for awhile. We can tell him tomorrow. One more day won\u2019t kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt might kill Pa,\u201d Hoss muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf his fever gets worse or he reaches a critical point, I\u2019ll tell Joe myself,\u201d Dr. Martin acquiesced.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell Joe,\u201d Adam insisted. \u201cOr Hoss. Better it comes from family.\u201d Hoss had finished cleaning up the broken porcelain. He asked Dr. Martin where he could get another bowl of cool water. While the doctor showed him, Adam sat down with his father. Gazing into the fevered face, he wished Ben was well, that he wasn\u2019t hurt, anything but this.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he said in a quiet tone. \u201cPa, it\u2019s me, Adam. Joe is here, Pa. He\u2019s alive. He can\u2019t come right now, but we\u2019ll get him here. You hear me, Pa? Joe is alive. Please, Pa, hold on to that. Hold on for Joe\u2019s sake and for Hoss and me. We need you, Pa. We need you.\u201d Ben remained asleep. Adam bowed his head in sorrow and fear. He bowed his head in prayer.<\/p>\n

Early the next morning, Joe woke to find himself still living a nightmare, as if his life wasn\u2019t messed up enough. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, his head screamed at him causing him to moan and remember his concussion. The moan was embarrassing, and the young man was glad no one had heard him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSome mess ya got yer self into this time, Joe. What\u2019s wrong with you? How come ya can\u2019t get a handle on your temper? Now look how much trouble you\u2019re in.\u201d His words tumbled out despite himself. For one thing it felt good to hear something, even his own voice in the hollow part of his heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d he asked. \u201cWhy is this happening to me? I didn\u2019t shoot him. I didn\u2019t!\u201d Falling back on the bed, the young man allowed himself a few tears. He didn\u2019t hear the door open, nor did he initially see the big man who came in with a breakfast tray. As the double doors slammed shut behind the man, Joe turned on his side, his eyes widening at the sight of the very large man in front of him. Only the breakfast tray he held told the boy that the man probably wasn\u2019t dangerous.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do ya want?\u201d he asked with a little more sullenness than he intended. \u201cI don\u2019t need nuthin.\u201d
\nFor a second the big man stared at Joe. His mouth was open in a small oh. Clamping his mouth shut, he put the tray down on a table by the door. He held the keys to the cell in his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cIffn I open this door, ya won\u2019t try to escape will ya?\u201d Joe was offended by the question and showed it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeck no! I\u2019m no coward. I aint going nowhere till everyone knows I didn\u2019t shoot anybody. Aint fool enough ta tussle with a big galoot like you no how.\u201d To Joe\u2019s surprise a big smile came over the stranger\u2019s face. For a brief second Joe felt a tug at his heart, as if he should cherish that silly smile. The man opened the cell door then stepped back to get the tray. He put it down on the bed, then sat on the other side of the tray, looking at Joe with a sudden offended stance.<\/p>\n

\u201cBig galoot, huh?\u201d he goaded. Joe gulped. Had he offended the stranger?<\/p>\n

\u201cEr, um, didn\u2019t mean anything by it. Just kind of came to me.\u201d Hoss laughed, his body laughing with him as he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, ya don\u2019t need ta worry. I brought ya some vittles from the International House. Didn\u2019t figure ya would like the sheriff\u2019s cooking. He aint that great a cook.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeen here a time or two. Pa usually comes and bails me or my brothers out, but we gotta pay the bail out of our wages. Pa don\u2019t hanker much with barroom brawls. Problem is, I got me a temper and sometimes I git right ornery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour Pa? He\u2026he wouldn\u2019t be that Mr. Cartwright, would he?\u201d Hoss almost grinned at Joe\u2019s uneasiness. Joe was looking at him, but the green eyes were definitely uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d ya know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno. Just the way you said, Pa. Sounded like that fella, Adam was here yesterday,\u201d Joe answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, when yer right, yer right. Names Hoss Cartwright, and Adam is one of my brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHorse?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cWhat kinda name is that?\u201d Even as he asked the big man the question, Joe could feel the name wasn\u2019t horse. It was Hoss, and it fit the big friendly man. There was no anger in him, nothing but a sense of warmth and care. Why wasn\u2019t he mad at him? Had Adam convinced him that Joe was innocent? He was still thinking when Hoss informed him he\u2019d gotten the name wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot Horse, Little\u2026Joe. It\u2019s Hoss. Means a big friendly man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss? Sounds right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt does? Ya mean ya know the name?\u201d Joe picked up on Hoss\u2019 excitement. He felt more at ease than ever with the man. Why was that?<\/p>\n

\u201cSpose I\u2019ve heard it somewhere before. Why aint ya mad at me iffn ya think I shot yer pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam done tole me what ya tole him. Reckon I believe him. Adam\u2019s not the easiest feller to convince.\u201d Joe breathed a sigh of relief. He took the cover off the plate on the tray. He was surprised to see eggs, bacon, and biscuits. There was coffee on the tray too. Surprisingly he was hungry. Hoss watched him eat, waiting patiently. In fact, if Joe didn\u2019t know better, he\u2019d think that Hoss enjoyed watching him eat. When he had eaten all he wanted, he put the plate done. Half of the meal was still there.<\/p>\n

\u201cAint ya gonna finish?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah. I don\u2019t need much. Thanks though. That was a better breakfast than I\u2019ve had in a long time. What\u2019d ya go to the trouble for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHad me a reason. Wanted ta let ya know there were no hard feelings. We, Brother Adam and me, well, we\u2019ll do our best ta find out what\u2019s going on and who really shot Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is he?\u201d Joe asked with genuine concern. The boy didn\u2019t miss the mixture of fear and worry that lined Hoss\u2019 face for a moment until he replaced the appearance with some optimism. Again the change in expressions tugged at Joe\u2019s heart. What was it about the big galoot?<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s holding his own. He aint woke much yet. Sometimes he calls for my other brother, but that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother, Adam? Does he call for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah. He\u2019s not calling fer Adam or me. He knows we\u2019re there. Joe, when ya saw my pa yesterday, did ya know him?\u201d Joe gave Hoss a look of confusion.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever met him before,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cFunny thing though. He looked like he knew me. I had my gun drawn on him and he said, wait. I did wait, Hoss, I did. Honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I tole ya, I believed ya,\u201d Hoss assured the anxious young man. Joe was getting agitated. The way he spoke, the way he moved, the way he defended him self was all Joe. Hoss knew Adam was right and this was his little brother. Did Adam feel the urge to hug Joe, to take him right to Pa and show Pa that Joe was real, that he was alive? He\u2019d lied a bit to Joe. Ben was running a high fever this morning. The doc didn\u2019t think he\u2019d last another day. It was killing Hoss. He needed to get Joe to his Pa.<\/p>\n

\u201cGlad for that,\u201d Joe breathed. \u201cSpose ya have ta git back to yer Pa. I appreciate ya bringing breakfast. It was real good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa haven\u2019t had a lot ta eat lately have ya?\u201d Hoss asked. Joe looked down at his hands, avoiding Hoss\u2019 blue eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s it to ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust wondered. Ya look plume puny.\u201d Joe\u2019s green eyes blazed as he fought for his pride.<\/p>\n

\u201cI aint puny! Just cause I aint as big as you, ya big lummox.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hey, it\u2019s okay, Lil Joe. I was just\u2026well just worried about ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Joe demanded, still angry.<\/p>\n

\u201cCause I care about ya, cause\u2026Aw shucks, Lil Joe. Doc said ya aint got no memory, but dadburnit, I caint believe ya don\u2019t remember me or Adam or Pa. We\u2019re yer family.\u201d Hoss had tears in his eyes, his stomach churning, his heart breaking. His little brother was sitting in front of him and Joe didn\u2019t even know them. Joe\u2019s face registered shock along with confusion. For several seconds, time ticked. Hoss waited for Joe to collect him self and answer him.<\/p>\n

\u201cFamily?\u201d Joe whispered. I got family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa sure do, Shortshanks!\u201d To Hoss\u2019 horror, Joe grabbed his head with both hands. His unearthly cry of agony echoed through the cell until he collapsed unconscious onto the bed. Hoss choked on his own distress.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! Joe!\u201d Hoss screamed. Without hesitation, the big brother who loved his baby brother with all his heart scooped the boy up in his arms and rushed out of the jail. Hoss had one thought only, to get Joe to Dr. Martin. His thoughts weren\u2019t on anything else. He was only a short distance from the doctor\u2019s office when his own head exploded with an agonal grip on him, pulling him down to the ground. Joe fell with him. Hoss tried to crawl to his brother. A shadow over him raised his arm. Hoss started to move but wasn\u2019t fast enough. The arm came down sending Hoss into a sea of darkness.<\/p>\n

Chapter 3<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, break it up!\u201d Sheriff Roy Coffee hollered busting through the crowd that had gathered in a circle around Hoss and Joe\u2019s prone bodies. Neither man was moving. Roy bent down over Joe. There was no injury on the boy, and he couldn\u2019t figure out why he was unconscious. The sheriff, a man in his late forties or early fifties with a balding head and a medium build couldn\u2019t help hearing the grumbling that was emitted by the people surrounding him. He shuddered, his hand briefly touching his holster. Somehow the feel of the gun was comforting.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo good kid. He tried to kill Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMurder. He deserves to hang for what he done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow he\u2019s trying to escape from jail. Got Ben Cartwright\u2019s own boy to break him out of jail.\u201d The voices kept on. Roy tried to ignore them. Bending over Hoss, he saw the man was out flat on his stomach, his head bleeding profusely from an open wound.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho did this? What\u2019s going on here?\u201d Roy demanded, standing up. \u201cWe\u2019re gonna need a wagon to get these men to Dr. Martin\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe kid don\u2019t need a wagon, Sheriff. What he needs is a noose. I saw him. He tried to kill Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWarton, just because you think you saw something doesn\u2019t make it so. And no one is going to lynch anyone. This is my town. If something happens to the boy, you\u2019ll all find yourselves in jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa aint got the room sheriff. My wife talked to the doc last night. Had to get some medicine. Doc said Cartwright\u2019s real bad. I took that to mean he probably won\u2019t make it. That\u2019s murder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBurke, shut up,\u201d Roy ordered yet another excited citizen.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna hang, Sheriff,\u201d one of the men yelled out.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot on my watch. Now one of you men get me a wagon!\u201d Roy bent down over Joe who was waking up. Roy\u2019s mistake was in turning his back to the crowd who had been spoiling to hang Joe ever since his friend, Ben was shot. Unlike Hoss, the sheriff never knew what hit him, but in an irrevocable second he hit the ground in a blanket of fog that rapidly pulled him down into dark nothingness. Joe groaned opening his green eyes to find himself surrounded by a mob of angry people. Scrambling away from the crowd, the boy found himself dragged to his feet. Still a little dazed, Joe\u2019s mind was quickly coming back to him. He knew danger when he saw it. Two men were holding him. He struggled to free himself in vain. In the next second, Joe found himself facing his accuser.<\/p>\n

\u201cKid yer a murderer and yer going to pay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen Cartwright aint dead yet. What if we string up the kid and Cartwright doesn\u2019t die.\u201d someone yelled out.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe shot Cartwright. The man didn\u2019t have a chance to defend himself. How long do ya think afore he does the same thing ta someone else? He\u2019s a murderer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI say, he deserves what he gets.\u201d If there were any dissenters in the crowd, no one else came forward. Joe had only a chance to look down at the big man still out cold on the ground. Hoss, he thought. Hoss and Adam had offered to help him. Hoss said he was family. What did that mean? Again he struggled. Again he was held firmly, this time dragged down the street and put on a horse. He tried to jump off the other side, but was caught before he hit the ground by Warton himself. Warton, a big man, almost as big as Hoss\u2019 6\u20194 inches hit Joe in the stomach twice, doubling the boy over. He lifted him back onto the horse. Another man climbed up behind Joe who was still bent over gasping for air. Someone handed the man some rope and he tied Joe\u2019s hands behind him, then held the boy about the waist so he couldn\u2019t move. The men started the walk out of town, bent on doing one thing by the end of the day, hanging an innocent man\u2026or boy depending on how you looked at it.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Adam cried witnessing in amazement the mob taking his brother away. No one heard him because he was in Dr. Martin\u2019s waiting room, looking out the window. Joe was sitting on a horse with another man holding him. Around him at least twenty men escorted the horse and riders. It didn\u2019t take a genius to figure out what was going on. Dear God, Adam thought, they\u2019re going to hang him! They\u2019re going to hang my baby brother. Where was Hoss? Dr. Martin came running.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what is it?\u201d Adam was still wearing his gun and belt. He started towards the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a lynch mob. They\u2019re gonna hang Joe, I\u2019m sure of it. Damn it, where is Hoss? He was supposed to be with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam, but you can\u2019t stop them by yourself. Ben has friends who can\u2019t be a part of this. Your father is sleeping. I\u2019ll go and find anyone I can to support us and you find Hoss and the sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat,\u201d Adam sighed. \u201cHasn\u2019t that boy suffered enough?\u201d Adam hurried out of the house, racing towards the sheriff\u2019s office. Paul followed him but went in a different direction to get some help. Adam\u2019s heart sank at the sight of two bodies lying on the ground less than a block from the sheriff\u2019s office.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d the young man breathed. He reached his brother so fast, the dust settled around him as he knelt by Hoss\u2019 still body.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u201d he yelled this time. Hoss moaned in reply. His hand came up to touch his head. Adam helped his brother sit up.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, I\u2019m not awright,\u201d Hoss groaned with evident irritability. \u201cWhat hit me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss, but we have to move it. They got Little Joe. Was that crowd planning to do what I think they were?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoggone it,\u201d Hoss declared. \u201cAw, Joe. No wonder they done hit me. They\u2019re gonna lynch him up, Big Brother. I heard em. I couldn\u2019t get up but I could hear em.\u201d The sheriff was still out.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, can you walk?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe haven\u2019t got much time. They\u2019re walking with Joe, but I\u2019m not sure where they\u2019re going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe either, Big Brother.\u201d Adam was relieved when Dr. Martin came hurrying towards them while Harry from the livery came down the street, riding one horse and leading a few more. Dr. Martin bent over the sheriff, rousing him. Hoss stood, getting his bearings.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarry!\u201d Adam cried. \u201cThose for us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou betcha, Adam. I saw that band of no goods. Most of em don\u2019t even know your pa. You take these horses Adam and bring them back when you\u2019re done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Harry. Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine. Stupid of me to get hit. Let\u2019s go, boys.\u201d Roy stumbled a bit as Dr. Martin helped him up. Hoss mounted, but it took him twice to get his foot in the stirrup. Dr. Martin whispered to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey both might be concussed, Adam. Watch them. I\u2019ve got some men coming. They\u2019ll follow you. I need to get back to Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHope it\u2019s not too late,\u201d Adam answered with a grim feeling sucking him down. They had to get to Joe. Hoss and Roy might have been concussed, but they gave Adam a good race as they galloped their horses out of town following the tracks of the men who had taken Joe. It only took about ten minutes before they realized where the men were going.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, Adam, hold up. They\u2019re going to Four Roads Crossing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re gonna use that great big old tree there at the crossroad,\u201d Hoss cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s circle around them,\u201d Roy ordered. Hoss and Adam nodded. Adam went straight in while Roy and Hoss circled around. Adam tried to concentrate on getting to the mob. He tried not to worry about Hoss. As Adam rode over the hill at the edge of town, his heart pounded hard. He could see Joe sitting on the horse, the noose already around his neck. Adam couldn\u2019t see his little brother\u2019s face, but he could almost feel the fear that Joe must be experiencing. Joe! Joe! Hold on, Little Buddy. He rode. He rode as fast as he could. But before he could reach him, before Hoss and Roy or the other men could reach Joe, a man hit the rump of the horse Joe was on. Frightened, the horse gave flight allowing Joe\u2019s body to fall, the noose catching him. Through blurred eyes, Adam saw his brother grab the rope, attempting to save himself even as he choked. Adam pushed his horse through the crowd his eyes only on the boy, grabbling to survive, but he was too late for Joe\u2019s hands finally gave up the struggle letting the rope take his life away while his legs kicked convulsively. Adam\u2019s screams filled the air as the crowd went silent, their objective completed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! No! Stop it. Stop! Joe!\u201d Hoss came from behind Joe ready to release the deadly rope. Throwing himself of the horse, Adam wanted to shut out the sight of Joe\u2019s body swinging in the wind. A minute? Two minutes? How long was it he wondered before Hoss cut him down and Adam caught the boy in his arms. Ripping the rope off of Joe\u2019s neck, he prayed his neck hadn\u2019t been broken. A gun being fired sounded far away. It was actually only feet away from where Adam gently laid the unconscious boy while Roy yelled at the mob.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all of it,\u201d his voice rang out. Hoss knelt next to Joe. Around them, Roy was asking questions of the men who had so grievously injured Little Joe. Adam and Hoss didn\u2019t hear him now. Hoss took off the ropes that held Joe\u2019s hands behind him as Adam examined the boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? Is he\u2026\u201d Hoss\u2019 question was thick was unshed tears. Joe\u2019s head rested in Adam\u2019s lap, the ugly rope burns leaving nasty marks about the boy\u2019s thin neck. Joe\u2019s eyes were squeezed shut, his body limp, too limp, Adam thought. Joe! Joe! Don\u2019t do this. Don\u2019t die now! You just got here. You just got home.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Hoss finally reached the oldest brother. With shaking hands, hands that were usually so sure and sturdy, Adam Cartwright put his finger to the battered neck. Two fingers were better than one he had been taught by someone. Pressing deep, he felt nothing, nothing at all. Joe was gone!<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Dagnabit, Adam. Tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss. I can\u2019t\u2026I can\u2019t\u2026\u201d Adam sobbed finally giving way to the tremendous loss he was feeling for Joe for the second time in his life. His fingers came away, then pressed again not as hard this time. This time\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s alive! There\u2019s a pulse. Oh Joe! You\u2019re a good little buddy. Let\u2019s get him back to Dr. Martin, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s alive,\u201d Hoss mumbled with relief and shock. Without further words, Hoss scooped his little brother up in his arms, watching the curly hair blow in the wind, aching with rage at the harsh marks on the throat, kicking aside the rope on the ground that almost took Joe away from him again. The crowd was walking back to town, the men noticed. Other men on horseback dallied close by. Neither man thought of who they were. Adam mounted his horse. Hoss lifted Joe up to Adam who took Joe in his loving arms facing him forward so his head was resting on his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo, Adam. Don\u2019t wait for me,\u201d Hoss ordered. \u201cJust go.\u201d Adam nodded. Unspoken words flashed from Adam\u2019s brown eyes to Hoss\u2019 blue for a brief instant till Hoss turned back to his horse, and Adam trotted off towards town. Hoss leaned against the animal\u2019s back, relief making him weak. A hand on his back didn\u2019t even get his attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss? How was Joe?\u201d Roy Coffee\u2019s voice asked. For a minute Hoss was too overwhelmed to respond. Wisely, Roy waited. After a minute, Hoss was able to mount his horse. He let his gaze rest on the sheriff, a fury of anger replacing the tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s alive, sheriff, but that\u2019s about all. He coulda been killed by that low down no good mob. They as good as hung my little brother. Aint nothing too bad could happen to em.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Hoss, ya don\u2019t mean that. Warton\u2019s the one hit the horse. I had two of the men that came with us take him to the jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo a them?\u201d Hoss\u2019 sarcasm, rare for him to even show, was evident. \u201cWell, sheriff, I reckon ya got the situation unda control. I\u2019m going to my brother. And he aint going back ta yer jail. He\u2019s innocent, and Pa\u2019ll tell ya so.\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t wait for a reply. He left Sheriff Roy Coffee in the dust and the wind, racing back to town to see if Little Joe would live or die. Only this time, if Little Joe died, it would be permanent. There would be no hope, no second chances, and no amount of love would bring the boy back to them.<\/p>\n

Chapter 4<\/p>\n

Adam clung to his brother on the ride back to Dr. Martin\u2019s. The ride seemed to take forever when in reality it only took ten minutes. Ten long arduous minutes where Adam held Joe\u2019s back with one hand, and kept his hands on his horse\u2019s reins with the other. Feeling Joe\u2019s head on his shoulder reminded the young man of the many times his baby brother had fallen asleep in bed with him, most especially after the boy\u2019s mother died in a tragic riding accident. Little Joe had only been five years old. Adam always smiled when he thought of Marie, Joe\u2019s mother. Her beauty, compassion and maternal love had been received reluctantly at first, then with gratitude from when he was a boy of twelve until he was almost nineteen. Then in an irrevocable instant Marie had broken her neck, dying immediately after her fall leaving Adam to help quell Joe\u2019s nightmares when he called for the mama who could not come. Now Joe had been hung by the neck from a tree in another irrevocable second. Would he die? Was he suffering? Was he aware of anything that was happening or was he mercifully unconscious. Adam prayed he was for his brother\u2019s raspy gasps for air frightened him. Dr. Martin\u2019s house came into view. The oldest son breathed a sigh of relief when the doctor came out of the house to meet him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Joe! Dear God, they didn\u2019t?\u201d Dr. Martin\u2019s reaction was no less horrified than Adam\u2019s had been. The quiet Cartwright had no words to express his anger, nor the grief that threatened to drown him if Joe died. Dr. Martin held Little Joe in the saddle while Adam got down. Together the men took him into the house. Adam stopped in front of the doctor\u2019s surgery assuming they would take Joe to lie next to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam. Your father is still very ill. We can\u2019t upset him like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHas he been awake? Has he asked for Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not lucid much. When he asked for Joe, I told him Joe was in jail and you and Hoss were with him. Let\u2019s take him into the bedroom. I can care for him there.\u201d In no time that was exactly what the men did. Joe\u2019s breathing was getting worse, terrifying Adam further. When Joe was in bed, Dr. Martin raced from the room. He came back in a few minutes with several pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cHelp me position these so his head is elevated. Keep his neck as straight as possible. He has some swelling, which is contributing to his breathing difficulty. How could they do this to a boy?\u201d Dr. Martin\u2019s indignation did nothing to help Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there anything else we can do to help him?\u201d Adam hazarded while helping get Joe comfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam. If that doesn\u2019t work, well, there isn\u2019t anything else to do! Now go.\u201d Sitting near his brother, Adam placed his head in his hands. Hoss arrived demanding to know how Joe was. Dr. Martin informed the middle Cartwright what he had told Adam. Hoss clenched his fists his anxiety written all over him as he pleaded for help.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoggone it, Doc. Ya caint let Little Brother die. Ya cain\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, it\u2019s up to Joe. Now one of you needs to go and sit with your father. I gave him some sleeping powders before. If he finds out what happened to Joe, well, I can\u2019t imagine how he\u2019ll react, even in his current condition.\u201d The three men were sick themselves observing the boy in bed. Like a bird gasping for air, Joe\u2019s breaths were sickeningly audible, a wheeze that resounded in the room while the men talked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can,\u201d Adam mumbled. \u201cI\u2019ll go sit with Pa. Do you mind if I tell him what\u2019s happening?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes I do, Adam. You know Ben. If he knows Little Joe is here, he won\u2019t stay in bed. I\u2019ll have to keep him sedated forever or at least until I\u2019m satisfied he\u2019s on the road to recovery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut maybe seeing Lil Joe\u2026\u201d Hoss started.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss. You know Ben. You know exactly what he will do. I cannot risk it. Will you exchange your father\u2019s life for your brother\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse not! That\u2019s not what I meant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, settle down,\u201d Adam ordered. \u201cI\u2019ll go to Pa. Stay with our little brother. Encourage him. Talk to him. Whatever you do, don\u2019t let him die.\u201d Hoss forced a smile on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t, Big Brother\u2026if I kin help it!\u201d Adam left the room. Hoss sat down with his brother. Dr. Martin took Joe\u2019s pulse. Hoss let his hand brush through the curly hair. His eyes met Dr. Martin\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhaddya think, Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we\u2019ll know more by morning,\u201d Dr. Martin answered. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be a long day and night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI meant what I said, Doc,\u201d Hoss declared in his determined manner. \u201cI aint letting Little Joe die.\u201d Dr. Martin nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll hold you to that, Hoss,\u201d the doctor answered. Hoss bent over his brother, ignoring the crowing sounds as Joe breathed in life sustaining air.<\/p>\n

\u201cPunkin, kin ya hear me? Kin ya hear me? I love ya Little Joe and Pa and Adam, they do too. Don\u2019t matter what those men done or what they believe. We know ya aint done nothing ta hurt Pa. Ya wouldn\u2019t do that. So ya fight, Punkin and when ya wake up and Pa\u2019s better, we\u2019ll find out who shot Pa. Ya hear me? It\u2019s gonna be all right, Punkin. I promise ya.\u201d Dr. Martin nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep talking to him, Hoss. I\u2019m sure somewhere in there he can hear you. Just keep talking to him.\u201d Hoss did as he was told, his voice softer than normal, but still enough to reach Joe, or so he hoped\u2026hoped and prayed.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Normally his screams could rise his father and brothers right out of bed. As the boy\u2019s dream turned to a nightmare where he was confronted with pure terror. They were hanging him! He didn\u2019t do it! He was innocent and he was going to hang! The rope around his neck was rough, cinched tightly against him. Suddenly the horse he\u2019d been mounted on was gone, his body weight pulling him down and down and down. Choking, choking. He couldn\u2019t breathe! Joe tried to get away, tried to holler. Only a raspy yell could be heard at an octave far lower and far softer than normal. Sitting up in bed, his breaths coming hard and fast, Joe\u2019s green eyes flew wildly about the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d he screamed. \u201cNo! I didn\u2019t do it.\u201d Those words were not anywhere near as loud as Joe could normally yell but he was still heard. Suddenly the man he knew as Adam was sitting next to him, grabbing his arms, shaking him a little to wake him up.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Joseph, it\u2019s all right. You\u2019re safe now. No one is going to hurt you, I promise. Come on, Little Buddy, wake up.\u201d Joseph stared at the man clothed in black under the dim light of the lamp on the table next to his bed. Adam\u2026the man who had helped him in jail. The last thing Joe remembered was the horse going out from under him, the rope around his neck. He couldn\u2019t breathe.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Little Joe, it\u2019s me. I\u2019m here. You aren\u2019t alone any more.\u201d Joe gazed into Adam\u2019s eyes as he collected himself. He thought of all that had happened since Ben Cartwright\u2026since Ben\u2026What had Hoss said? They were family? Adam, Hoss and Ben Cartwright were family. He didn\u2019t understand, not anything, not even how he got into this bed. His puzzled expression matched his furrowed eyes and almost hysterical stance.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought\u2026the horse\u2026\u201d he rasped.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026don\u2019t worry about it right now. You just have to rest.\u201d Joe\u2019s hand went to his throat. Swallowing with a little difficulty he stared at Adam with unanswered questions. Taking a deep breath, Adam told Joe what had happened. Tears came to the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a dream,\u201d he managed to say. \u201cOh God. Hurt\u2026so bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Joe. I know it was awful. But you have to remember it\u2019s over now.\u201d Joe laid back on the bed. Adam pulled the covers over the boy. \u201cDo you think you can sleep now.\u201d Joe nodded. Adam smiled. He started to get up off the bed. In a flash, the younger man\u2019s hand grabbed his, a strong grasp from Little Joe. For some reason Joe saw an emotional expression cross Adam\u2019s face. He felt it. He felt something, something connecting him to this man who was so much older than him, not old enough to be his father, but still\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2026are\u2026you?\u201d he gasped out again, his voice hoarse and his throat sore.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, not now. You need rest,\u201d Adam demurred. Joe wasn\u2019t having it. He had to know. What was this man to him? He\u2019d been alone all his life or so he thought. Did this man know about the scars on his body. Did he know about the years he couldn\u2019t remember no matter how he tried? What did he know?<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease!\u201d Joe begged. \u201cHoss said\u2026family.\u201d Joe felt as though he were on the edge of something, something important. Adam\u2019s other hand brushed through his hair, a gesture Joe recognized, a gesture Adam did when he was frustrated.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, the doctor wants you to get your strength back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTELL ME!\u201d Leaning forward, Joe screamed with all the vocal intensity he had left. Adam pushed the smaller man back on the bed, holding him down gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, calm down. I\u2019m not going to say anything unless you calm down.\u201d Something about Adam\u2019s tone told Joe the man was telling him the truth. He took some deep breaths which wasn\u2019t easy. Slowly, slowly he relaxed, lying down on the bed, his heart not beating quite so hard, his anxiety buried for a few minutes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s better. Now stay there!\u201d Orders. Something told Joe Adam was good at giving orders. He felt a bit of rebellion. He was about to sit forward again when Adam finally confessed the truth.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019re my brother. You, me and Hoss, we\u2019re all brothers. Our father is Ben Cartwright. We live on a ranch called the Ponderosa. Do you remember anything?\u201d Joe thought. He thought hard. He didn\u2019t know Adam was watching him to see if he would faint the way he had before as Hoss told him. Finally he shook his head. Adam\u2019s hand crossed his mouth for a second until he could speak again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure how to say this, Joe, but we need your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa is still very sick. He could die.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d The word felt\u2026funny to Joe\u2026funny but good. The green eyes settled on Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, can you tell me what the first thing is you remember about your life, about who you are?\u201d Joe tried to talk, but the words wouldn\u2019t come. Suddenly there was no way to talk. He couldn\u2019t talk! The thought terrified him. Grabbing his throat, the boy felt a terrifying jolt. What if he never talked again? Before he could give into his fears Adam grabbed the boy\u2019s hand again and squeezed it.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Little Buddy. It\u2019s okay. Dr. Martin said your throat was swollen and you might have difficulty talking. It\u2019s my fault for pushing you. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d Joe closed his eyes. He was so tired and yet something nagged at him. Adam had said his pa\u2026 their pa could die. That wasn\u2019t right. He had an idea.
\nHe tugged on Adam\u2019s shirt as Adam started to get up.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? What is it, Little Buddy?\u201d Joe looked around the room. There was no paper. He held out his hand and then made a motion of writing. To his relief Adam caught his suggestion immediately. A broad smile came over Adam\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you still have great ideas, but don\u2019t quote me on that. I\u2019ll get a pencil and paper. You wait right there and I\u2019ll be back. Okay?\u201d Joe nodded. Lying back down on the bed, he couldn\u2019t help himself. In a few minutes he had fallen asleep again. When Adam came back he found Joe totally out. Adam sighed not wanting to wake his little brother. He pulled the covers over Joe again, making sure he was safe and sound.<\/p>\n

\u201cSleep well, Little Buddy. I\u2019ll be back after I check on Pa. I love you.\u201d He bent down to kiss the boy\u2019s forehead. His brother, his little brother\u2026Dear God, what was going to happen to him now?<\/p>\n

Chapter 5<\/p>\n

Ben woke to feel as though his chest were burning. Moving his head, he wasn\u2019t surprised to see Hoss sitting in a chair by his bed, holding his hand, and dozing. His son, Hoss. Hoss was so much like his mother, but more often just himself, a big bear of a man with the heart of a child and the strength of a giant.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Ben whispered, testing his strength. \u201cHoss.\u201d But Hoss didn\u2019t hear him. Ben found he couldn\u2019t make Hoss hear him. Moving took more out of him than he wanted to admit. In his soul, he felt himself slipping, felt Hoss and the room around him becoming more distant as if he wasn\u2019t really a part of life anymore. How had he gotten here? Could he leave his two remaining sons alone? They had lost so much with Joe\u2019s death. Joseph, Joseph, Joseph. How many nights had he cried himself to sleep mourning for his youngest son, for Marie\u2019s son.<\/p>\n

\u201cMarie,\u201d he whispered. Would Marie come for him or Inger or Elizabeth? He had loved and mourned each of his wives. Elizabeth, Adam\u2019s mother, his first true love who shared his dreams. She died in childbirth, but made him promise to seek his future with their baby son. Inger, her common sense and love for Adam as well as himself had given Ben new life until an Indian\u2019s arrow took her from them, leaving behind his second son, Hoss. And Marie who gave him Joe and left them as suddenly as Joe had. Joe had been so like her until he too was taken. Ben remembered that last evening with all three of his sons at home, now three years past. Now, he wondered if Joe was with his mother and they would take him to heaven\u2019s gates.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d he called out. \u201cJoseph.\u201d Hoss\u2019 voice reached him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we\u2019re here. Joe\u2019s here. He\u2019ll come as soon as he can.\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes met his son\u2019s briefly until he couldn\u2019t keep them open any more. What had Hoss said? Had he been talking about Joseph? Ben wanted to find his son. He rested\u2026letting nature take its course.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? Pa! Doc, come quick.\u201d Hoss yelled, his voice panicked. Ben was feeling peaceful until someone slapped his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no you don\u2019t, Ben. You aren\u2019t giving up on these boys,\u201d Paul Martin\u2019s voice said. \u201cHoss, get Adam. Get him now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight away, Doc.\u201d Ben could hear Hoss\u2019 footsteps. The sounds were becoming more distant. Ben felt almost as though he were completely happy, completely without grief or sorrow or pain for the first time since Joe died, but wait. What was Paul saying? What was his old friend telling him? The words sank in slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, the boys are here, all of them, including Joe. Joe\u2019s been hurt. He\u2019s in the bedroom down the hall. Do you understand me. Ben!\u201d Again he felt Paul slapping him. Why wouldn\u2019t he leave him alone. Ben just wanted to feel that blessed release. He wanted to\u2026what did Paul say about his boys? Joe? Joe was alive? It couldn\u2019t be. It couldn\u2019t be true. Joe was gone. But then if Joe was gone\u2026Ben fought to remember. The world didn\u2019t seem quite so far away as he thought as his mind conjured up the picture of the boy who drew a gun on him. He could see the dark curly hair, the boyish handsome face contorted in anger, so like Joseph\u2019s impulsive nature. Joe? He felt again the agonal burning in his chest. Had Joseph shot him? Joe!<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d That was Adam. Why was his voice so low? \u201cPa, you have to open your eyes. I\u2019ve got Little Joe. You have to see him. He\u2019s sleeping, and I don\u2019t want to wake him. He needs you, Pa. Hoss and I need you.\u201d Ben felt a rustling on the bed, movement. Added pressure next to him brought him further back to life though he wasn\u2019t sure what was happening. Adam couldn\u2019t be telling the truth could he? Was he grasping at straws to give Ben hope? He felt pressure next to his heart, the pressure of someone lying with him. His chest hurt. Why were they doing this?<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, will it be okay if I leave Joe like this. It won\u2019t hurt Pa will it?\u201d Adam queried, his voice filled with the concern Ben associated with his oldest boy whenever he was worried about his younger brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Ben whispered, his heart finally beating with purpose. He had to see, had to know, had to believe.
\nJoe\u2019s voice didn\u2019t answer him. Ignoring the pain in his chest, Ben somehow managed to move his hand to touch the soft curly hair he knew without seeing.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s lost, Pa. He doesn\u2019t remember who he is,\u201d Hoss offered. \u201cYa caint leave him now. Ya know ya caint.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u201d Dr. Martin hissed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care,\u201d Hoss snapped back. \u201cPa has ta know the truth. Dagnabit, Adam and me need Pa ta help Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is right, Paul,\u201d Adam concurred. Ben couldn\u2019t see his old friend shake his head in obvious disapproval. Ben\u2019s hand stayed on Joe\u2019s head. He couldn\u2019t move any more. He was so tired.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? Joe was accused of shooting you,\u201d Adam told him. \u201cHe says he\u2019s innocent. Pa, you\u2019re the only one who can exonerate him. You have to get well. If you don\u2019t, we may not ever be able to save Joe.\u201d Adam knew how to reach his father. Ben heard the words. Adam\u2019s hand squeezed his. He felt his son lying next to him, Joe\u2019s head on his heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Pa,\u201d Hoss begged. His sons were begging him to live. He wanted to answer. He wanted to tell them he would try. He would try. Ben felt his body releasing itself. He had no more control. The darkness came and he was lost\u2026to the well deserved sleep he needed. His head rolled to the right, away from Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc!\u201d Hoss cried in alarm. Paul Martin rushed to Ben\u2019s side. For several seconds the doctor examined his patient. Finally he turned to Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s only sleeping. His pulse is stronger, and regular. His respirations are good. I think\u2026there\u2019s hope now he\u2019ll be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHot diggity,\u201d Hoss yelled. Joe groaned, opening his green eyes to find himself lying next to a man he didn\u2019t know. In the flash of a second, he mumbled words that caused his brothers to rejoice even further. Joe\u2019s voice was still hoarse but it was clearly understandable.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss! Cantcha let me sleep for once?\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

The next few days were a blur for Little Joe. For some reason he developed a fever, perhaps from the shock of the hanging or perhaps because it appeared he hadn\u2019t eaten much in the last days before he came to Virginia City. Those were the theories that Dr. Martin gave Adam and Hoss. The two brothers made sure Joe wasn\u2019t left alone for a moment, not only because of his fever, but because of the ongoing grumbling going on around town. On the bright side, they were thrilled to see their father improving. Ben slept a great deal the first day after he passed the crisis. When he finally woke the next night, he found himself in a bed that was softer than the one in Dr. Martin\u2019s surgery. Opening his chocolate colored eyes, Ben found his second son sitting in a chair, between his bed and another. When Hoss sat back in the chair, Ben\u2019s heart leaped at the sight of his lost child.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d he breathed. \u201cHoss!\u201d Hoss\u2019 large frame moved quickly to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Bout time you woke up. Thought ya was gonna sleep forever. Don\u2019t worry about Little Joe none. He\u2019s just got a fever. Doc says he\u2019ll be fine when the fever breaks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe?\u201d Ben moved the name around in his head, feeling his soul rejoice in a fact and not a dream. \u201cHoss, how did he get here? Where did he come from? Where has he been?\u201d Hoss scratched his head a little before he answered, smiling a little sheepishly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAint got any answers, Pa. Joe, well he\u2019s got amnesia. Seems like he might be remembering, but he hasn\u2019t said much since last night. All we know is that he came into town a few days ago, that same morning ya got shot.\u201d Screwing up his forehead, Ben tried to picture the shooting again.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I gotta know. The whole town has ta know. Joe says he didn\u2019t shoot ya. He swears it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you believe him, Hoss?\u201d Ben asked, still thinking.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet I do. Joe don\u2019t lie.\u201d Ben nodded. \u201cDo you remember what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, yes I think I do.\u201d Ben moved a little, and felt the pain in his chest, but it wasn\u2019t as bad now. \u201cHelp me sit up, Son.\u201d Within a few minutes, Hoss had lifted Ben up on the bed so he was resting against pillows placed against the wall. Hoss gave him some water from a pitcher on the table. After drinking the water, Ben told what he had seen that terrible day.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was going to the livery stable to get Buck and go back to the Ponderosa. Joe came out of the General Store, that new one that just opened. I bumped into him by accident. He\u2026he got angry and pulled his gun. I apologized and recognized him at the same time. I remember telling him to wait.\u201d Ben closed his eyes in concentration. \u201cHis gun was pointed at me\u2026\u201d Hoss swallowed fearful of what his father was going to say. He just couldn\u2019t believe his brother would shoot a man for no reason. Ben\u2019s eyes finally opened to meet Hoss\u2019. The older man was clearly troubled, and Hoss\u2019 fear grew.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe gun never fired,\u201d Ben answered perplexed. \u201cI remember getting hit and being shocked, thinking Joe had shot me, but I saw. His gun never fired. Hoss, it wasn\u2019t him. It wasn\u2019t Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew it,\u201d Hoss cried with flair. \u201cI knew it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo if Joe didn\u2019t do it,\u201d Adam\u2019s voice said from the open doorway, \u201cSomeone else did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Ben called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! I\u2019m glad to see you awake. You been sleeping for almost an entire night and day.\u201d Adam was walking across the room when noise from Joe caught his attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Pa! No! Help me! Help me!\u201d the hoarse voice cried out. \u201cNo. Stop it!\u201d Adam sat on the side of Joe\u2019s bed. Hoss turned to him, changing the wet cloth for a cooler one. The basin on the table was filled with cool water from the well. Hoss knew the water needed to be changed, but he didn\u2019t want to leave Joe if he was regaining consciousness.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s he saying?\u201d Hoss asked. The curly head tossed too and fro as Joe called out in his delirium.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Oh, Pa! I tried to be brave. I tried. It hurts. It hurts so damn much. Pa! Why are they doing this?\u201d Joe\u2019s scream was louder now, a scream of pure torment, coming from a hoarse voice that could barely verbalize his terror. Hoss leaned over his little brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Punkin! Hey, it\u2019s awright now. Yer safe with Pa and Adam and me. Ya hear me, Little Brother? Come on, Little Joe.\u201d Joe only continued to mumble. Ben tried to get up to go to his son, but he just wasn\u2019t strong enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, stay still,\u201d Adam ordered, seeing Ben\u2019s restlessness. \u201cBetween the two of you, Hoss and I are definitely going to have our hands full.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen can we go home?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll ask the doc, Pa, but ya gotta listen ta him. Iffn ya don\u2019t, ya know Joe won\u2019t.\u201d Ben almost chuckled. Hoss was right about that. If it was one thing Joseph wasn\u2019t, it was a good patient. He hated being confined to bed. Ben could understand, feeling helpless at his own condition.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe it,\u201d Ben went on. He was getting tired already, his eyes trying to shut so he could sleep. Ben Cartwright did not want to sleep. He wanted to feast his eyes on his sons, on all three of them, but most especially Joe. Shuddering he realized how close he had come to dying to leaving his boys behind forever.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, ya need ta rest,\u201d Hoss urged. \u201cCome on, let me help ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to sleep,\u201d he protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have a choice, Pa,\u201d Adam returned. \u201cCome on, Hoss, let him lay back on the bed. Pa, the sooner you rest, the sooner we can go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s fever,\u201d Ben protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll take care of him.\u201d Ben couldn\u2019t argue. He could still hear Joe mumbling as he tossed about on the bed. Damn the fever, Ben thought. Where had his son been? Where? He fell asleep thinking of his sons. Adam and Hoss were both relieved. Adam sat on his father\u2019s bed. Hoss picked up the basin of water.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take it, Hoss,\u201d Adam said. \u201cYou stay with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Big Brother.\u201d Hoss turned back to his little brother. His big paw pushed back a stray brown curl. Joe hadn\u2019t opened his eyes since yesterday. The fever seemed to be worse instead of better. What if Dr. Martin was wrong he asked himself? What if\u2026he couldn\u2019t think about that. Joe was home. He was going to get well and he\u2019d drive his brothers to distraction again with his crazy schemes and tricks. Adam brought the basin back filled with cool water. Speaking in a soft tone, Hoss comforted Joe. The cool cloth on his forehead seemed to help as well. Adam sat on the bed. Both men waited until Joe finally fell asleep before Hoss spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what are we gonna do iffn Joe don\u2019t remember us? And what\u2019s going on in town? Are they still out ta lynch Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy says people aren\u2019t quite as angry since Pa is going to be all right. I don\u2019t know if they\u2019ll believe that Joe didn\u2019t shoot Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell he didn\u2019t. Ya heard Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. I\u2019ve been listening to the scuttlebutt. It seems Tom Warton, a man who has no job but no apparent lack of money is the one who got most of the men in town riled against Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhattya gitten at Big Brother?\u201d Hoss asked in puzzlement.<\/p>\n

\u201cWarton says he saw Joe shoot Pa. What does he have to gain by lying?\u201d Hoss nodded his understanding. \u201cBesides which, Warton is the one who tried to hang Joe. He wanted Joe dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why? What\u2019d Little Joe ever do ta him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood question, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanta know, Adam. I gotta know what makes a man act like that.\u201d Hoss went on, looking down at his baby brother. Again he pushed back the stray locks. The big hearted man didn\u2019t comprehend how anyone could want to hurt his brother or any other man on purpose. It made him sick inside to think that Joe had almost been murdered in front of his eyes. Joe\u2019s hanging hadn\u2019t just been the result of hysteria, but it was a cold calculated plan.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf Warton wanted Joe dead,\u201d Adam theorized, \u201cThen Joe must know something about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr Joe did something he didn\u2019t like,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I\u2019ll tell you, Little Brother, I\u2019m going to have a talk with Warton, one way or another, and he\u2019s going to tell us exactly what he has against our baby brother.\u201d Adam\u2019s tone was cold, his dark eyes cold, and devoid of expression. Only someone who knew him, someone like Hoss could see the icy rage that gleamed in Adam\u2019s eyes, a rage that Hoss himself shared.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be happy to assist ya, Adam. In fact, iffn ya don\u2019t mind, I\u2019d like ta go with ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe want a confession from the man,\u201d Adam warned. \u201cWe don\u2019t want to face a lynch mob ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Big Brother\u2026I won\u2019t hurt him\u2026too much.\u201d The two brothers nodded in agreement. As far as the Cartwright brothers were concerned, Warton was on borrowed time, maybe not with his life, but definitely with his freedom. He had aimed death at their father and brother in two almost lethal attacks. He was going to admit his culpability or else.<\/p>\n

Chapter 6<\/p>\n

Extreme silence filled the room where Ben and Joe were being cared for. Ben Cartwright could not believe what his son, Adam had just told him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey tried to hang my son?\u201d Ben exclaimed in horror. His stomach churned in disgust as he imagined Joe\u2019s fear, his son choking\u2026Oh God!<\/p>\n

\u201cWe caught him in time, Pa,\u201d Adam offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you stopped them, Adam. Just the thought of Joe\u2026I can\u2019t stand it. How could they?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you know how a lynch mob is,\u201d Adam reminded him. \u201cThere\u2019s no reasoning with them.\u201d Ben clenched his hands in to fists of suppressed anger. Sitting up in bed, he wished he were strong enough to take care of this Warton character himself. He\u2019d do anything to protect his boys, all of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I know yer mad, but if ya git upset, it aint gonna help anything,\u201d Hoss reasoned. Ben closed his eyes to maintain his overwhelming emotions. Hoss and Adam knew him so well, knew what he would be thinking. Ben couldn\u2019t argue with his son. Three days after he had awakened, the Cartwright patriarch was doing better than his son. For his age, Ben Cartwright was in excellent shape and his wound was healing quickly. His youngest son wasn\u2019t doing as well. Joe\u2019s fever was a grave cause for concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m getting better Hoss. Our energy has to be placed on Joe. Paul says he\u2019s malnourished, and very thin. He has no reserves to fight the fever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll git through this Pa. He didn\u2019t come home ta die now,\u201d Hoss told him with a ferocity that Ben would have smiled at if he had felt like smiling. Still too weak to do more than sit in a chair by Joe\u2019s bed, his heart ached for his family.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, maybe if we took him home?\u201d Adam suggested as Ben changed the cloth on Joe\u2019s forehead to keep him cool. Ben looked at Adam standing at the foot of the bed as though he were crazy. Hoss was sitting in a chair on the other side of Joe\u2019s bed. Dr. Martin walked into the room as Adam finished his sentence.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, that is not possible,\u201d Paul said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Adam demanded. \u201cPa, Little Joe has been away for three years. His memory might be returning. The other night he told Hoss he wanted to sleep. He called Hoss by name. What if taking him home would make the difference? We\u2019ve tried everything else, ice baths, cool compresses, medicine. Nothing has worked. Why not take him home. The Ponderosa is all Joe knew until 3 years ago. Maybe being home will make the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, his fever is too high. He needs to rest.\u201d Paul\u2019s voice was quietly firm. The men knew each other well. Ben took only a minute to make up his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll get rest. It\u2019s only an hour home,\u201d Ben returned, his eyes locked Joe, his tone just as intent as the doctor\u2019s. \u201cAdam\u2019s right. Joseph was born on the Ponderosa. If he is going to die, he needs to be in his own bed, in the home where he is loved.\u201d Paul continued his argument.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you\u2019re not in any condition to travel yourself, even if it is just to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll put mattresses in the back of the wagon, and drive them home ourselves, Dr. Martin,\u201d Adam offered. \u201cThere\u2019s just something in my gut that says this is the right action to take.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too,\u201d Hoss put in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re decided, Paul. Hoss, you go on home and get the wagon. Adam will sit with Joe and I\u2019ll rest. Satisfied, Paul?\u201d Paul Martin was ready to explode. He shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t agree, Ben. If that boy dies on the way home\u2026I don\u2019t want it on my conscience.\u201d Ben fought with his own conscience for a minute. What if Joseph died on the way home? What if\u2026No Ben told him self. Joe should be home. He should be home.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll take responsibility for Joseph, Paul,\u201d Ben confirmed. \u201cBoys?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m on my way, Pa,\u201d Adam answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Hoss said. Paul threw up his hands in resignation. Ben lay down in bed with Hoss\u2019 help. He didn\u2019t know what would happen next. The father in him only wanted to get Joseph and his sons home. Some how the Ponderosa was beckoning to him. The Ponderosa had provided his family with hope, security and peace ever since he first saw the land. It was where they belonged. Most important, it was where Joseph belonged.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Through a fog of fever, through the heat that seemed to be smothering him, Joe fought to survive. In his delirium he cried out to his father, to his brothers, who could save him from the torture the Bannocks were inflicting upon him. Hands held him down! They weren\u2019t going to let him go. Stone cold faces told him he was going to die. He wouldn\u2019t give up without a fight.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Don\u2019t let them! Don\u2019t let them.\u201d Then he felt the resignation he had felt in those terrifying moments, a day he had pressed into the very depths of his memory, pressed it so far back that he hadn\u2019t remembered, until now. \u201cPa! I tried, Pa. I tried to be brave. It hurts so bad! I can\u2019t stop them! They\u2019re going to kill me. They told me.\u201d His voice escalated with hysteria. He tried in vain to get away from the restraining hands that held him down. Voices reached him, voices he couldn\u2019t believe he was hearing.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! Listen to me. You\u2019re not going to die, Little Buddy,\u201d Adam assured him. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to be afraid of here. We\u2019re taking care of you. We love you, Little Buddy.\u201d Was that really Adam\u2019s voice, Joe wondered? Suddenly the harsh hands holding him down were replaced with a loving caring touch.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? Is that you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Little Buddy. It\u2019s me. We\u2019re going home, Joe. Do you know where you are?\u201d Joe didn\u2019t answer. He was lost again in the sea of gray that surrounded him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice lingered in his fever ridden brain until Joe felt himself being laid down on a soft bed, a softer bed than he had felt for a very long time. His head rested on a pillow that felt like heaven.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Little Brother, let\u2019s get ya settled,\u201d Hoss urged. Big, gentle hands were helping him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Did he call his brother? He remembered! He remembered! \u201cAdam! Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re all here, Punkin,\u201d Hoss told him. \u201cYou just git some rest and git better. We gotcha ya home, Punkin and home is where ya belong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHome?\u201d A flood of joy came over him. Home was where he had been born, where he lived and worked, where his life was. He had a home! He wasn\u2019t a nobody, a drifter, a no account kid anymore. Or was he? He tried to sort it out but it was so hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph.\u201d There! There was something he could grab on to, hold on to. It was his Pa\u2019s voice. Pa always told him he loved him. Pa wouldn\u2019t hurt him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d With an extreme effort, Joe focused. Had to focus. Had to see Pa.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Joseph! Yes!\u201d Ben urged. Joe felt his father\u2019s hand brushing back his matted curls, something he had done a thousand times. The movement was so familiar. Next his father took his hand, squeezing it tightly. Joe tried harder to see through the heat in his eyes. His heart quickened at the sight of the white haired man he loved. Yes! The man sitting on the bed with him was his father. Pa! Joe fought to stay awake, fought to tell Pa something very important, the most important thing in the world to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he started. Ben held his hand. His smile was as comforting and caring as it always had been.<\/p>\n

\u201cSh, Joe,\u201d Ben encouraged. \u201cSleep. That\u2019s what\u2019s most important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026Pa\u2026I love you,\u201d Joe gasped. \u201cHome. So glad\u2026\u201d There! He had said it. His vision caught his brothers, Adam dressed in black, his worry written all over his face, Hoss, his best friend, his family. Joe felt the heat take hold of him again. It was taking him away, taking him away from his family. The fire was taking him away.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! No, I don\u2019t want to go,\u201d Joe cried. He didn\u2019t hear anything else. All he knew as the heat took him into oblivion was that he had made it home\u2026he had made it home at least once and now\u2026now he could let go.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we have to help him,\u201d Hoss pleaded as Joe moaned and cried in a world created by fever. Ben gathered the boy in his arms, ignoring his own pain and fatigue. The trip from town had taken a toll on him and on his youngest son, just as Paul predicted. At the same time, the older man was relieved to be home. This was where his family belonged.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph. Papa\u2019s here,\u201d Ben said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we need to get the fever down,\u201d Adam urged. \u201cAnd you need to get to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Ben returned. \u201cI\u2019m not leaving him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Hoss protested. \u201cWe can\u2019t worry about you and Little Joe. It\u2019s too hard. Dontcha understand? If ya work yourself ta death taking care of Little Brother, then we might lose ya both.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right, Pa,\u201d Adam concurred. Ben rocked back and forth with his boy, his baby, the child he had mourned for three long years. He couldn\u2019t give him up again, could he? His own chest was on fire with pain. But what was Joe suffering, living the nightmare that had taken him from them in the first place. It was all so confusing. Clutching the boy to him, listening to his harsh breathing, Ben didn\u2019t know what to do. His heart was ruling his mind and logic did not make sense, not if he was going to lose his son\u2026again.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, let me help ya get back ta bed,\u201d Hoss urged. \u201cAdam and I will pack Little Joe in ice.\u201d Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cIce not good for number 3 son,\u201d Hop Sing\u2019s voice said. \u201cToo cold.\u201d The three men looked up to see Hop Sing come into the bedroom. \u201cHop Sing use herb to bring fever down. Then use cold bath. Not so bad for #3 son.\u201d The three men stared at the little Chinese man. Why hadn\u2019t they thought of asking Hop Sing for his help? What was wrong with them?<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, do you really think you can help Little Joe?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI go and get herb. Make tea. Little Joe drink. Then we try cold bath,\u201d the Chinaman explained. Ben looked to his two oldest sons and nodded. They didn\u2019t have anything to lose. Hop Sing hurried from the room. Ben gently laid Joe back on the bed. He made sure the boy\u2019s head was supported by the pillows, elevating his head to ease his breathing a little. Ben had provided his sons with basic nursing care over the years. He had to make sure Joe was comfortable. Adam put his hand on his father\u2019s shoulder. Ben looked up at the calm face which hid the emotions Adam always kept inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, Hoss and I will take care of Little Joe, Pa. You are going to bed.\u201d Ben wanted to argue, but he couldn\u2019t. He was just too tired. Nodding in agreement, he kissed Joe\u2019s hand one more time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, Son,\u201d he told the boy, hoping Joe would hear him. Hoss and Adam helped Ben to his own room. Ben didn\u2019t know how he could rest while he left Adam and Hoss to care for Joseph. At the same time, the patriarch knew he was too tired and in too much pain to help his son just now. Hoss was right. If he didn\u2019t take care of himself, he couldn\u2019t help his sons when he needed them. It was an argument that threatened to drive him crazy till Adam made him take the laudanum, Paul had sent home with them. Lying back on his bed, Ben Cartwright had to give into the need to sleep. Still he struggled against giving in. Adam sat next to him on the bed. Hoss had left the room. Ben could hear wisps of Hoss\u2019 voice down the hall talking to Joseph.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please,\u201d Adam begged. \u201cHoss and I are almost as worried about you as we are about Joe. You look like a ghost and you haven\u2019t eaten much. We\u2019re going to do our best for Joe. When he gets through this, if you die, what will that do to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou say when, not if,\u201d Ben had to smile. \u201cYou\u2019re a good man, Adam.\u201d He was drifting off as Adam bent over and kissed his father\u2019s forehead in an unusually emotional display which gave away the young man\u2019s own fears.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a chip off the old block, Pa,\u201d Adam teased. \u201cHoss and I are going to do our best, Pa. Go to sleep.\u201d The laudanum took Ben away from the nightmare he was living if just for a little while.<\/p>\n

Chapter 7<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright was living a dream, a dream that should have been happy except for the nagging feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach. He was riding with Marie, both of them galloping across the range. Her laughter rang out loud, her arms holding her five-year old son close to her, her fingers nimbly managing the reins. When she pulled up, Ben had barely caught up with her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain, Mama, again,\u201d Little Joe pleaded fearlessly. His green eyes were alight with mischief and life. Marie threw her head back, laughing more, hugging the little boy in security and love.<\/p>\n

\u201cMon Dieu, Joseph. You will be a better horseman than your papa even,\u201d She told Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow see here,\u201d Ben sputtered in his own enjoyment.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you see it, Ben?\u201d she pleaded, her own face alight with joy. \u201cHe loves to ride. He will leave the rest of us in the dust when he is as big as his brothers. We shall be so proud of him.\u201d Ben leaned over, kissing his wife, tasting her lips, inhaling the slight aroma of her perfume, now mixed with the heat of her ride and the scent of the horse. Her blond hair was blowing just the least bit about her beautiful face. Ben couldn\u2019t remember when he had ever seen her so happy unless it was when Joseph was born.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can see it, Marie. But you must be more careful,\u201d he chided. \u201cHe\u2019s just a little boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a big boy, aren\u2019t you, Mon petit?\u201d she asked her son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be as big as Adam someday, Mama. I wanna go again. Let\u2019s go, Mama. Let\u2019s go, Papa.\u201d Ben nodded with good natured enjoyment. Marie didn\u2019t wait. She thundered off down the road with her mount. Ben chased after them. Marie was in her element, truly enjoying the happiest moments of her life. Ben was slightly behind her when she raced into the yard of the Ponderosa. All of a sudden her horse reared and Marie was thrown against the cowl fence, her scream silenced in an irrevocable instant. At the same time, Little Joe\u2019s tiny body fell backward where his head too hit the fence. Ben screamed for Marie and his son as he threw himself off his horse, running to his wife and child. Marie was already gone, her eyes still open, her mouth opened slightly as if she realized what was going to happen and she wanted to say good-bye. Little Joe lay motionless on the ground, his sightless gaze looking past Ben into eternity. Ben screamed again and again.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Marie! Joseph! Joseph! Don\u2019t leave me! Don\u2019t leave me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Pa! Wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Joe\u2019s fine. Wake up!\u201d Adam called. Ben felt himself being shaken. Finally, finally he allowed himself to realize where he is, in his own bed, with a full grown Adam waking him. It was a dream, just a dream. Marie\u2026Marie was gone, but Little Joe? Where was Joseph?<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d he begged. \u201cI have to see him.\u201d Adam helped Ben to sit up. Finding his land legs, Ben threw them over the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy, Pa.\u201d Ben shook off the dizziness he was being bombarded with.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d he cried again.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, his fever broke. He\u2019s fine. He\u2019s just sleeping.\u201d Adam\u2019s tone was calming. Ben took some deep breaths, letting out a sigh of relief, his heart beat slowly returning to normal.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank God,\u201d he breathed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMust have been some dream,\u201d Adam said, sitting beside his father. Ben nodded, putting his head between his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou called for Marie and Joe,\u201d Adam told him. Ben nodded again. He put his hand on Adam\u2019s knee.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be all right, Son. Help me with my robe and slippers so I can see your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d argue with you, but I guess that wouldn\u2019t do much good, would it?\u201d Ben\u2019s chocolate colored eyes rested on his oldest son. Adam smiled. \u201cDidn\u2019t think so. Hoss is with him. Would you please eat and drink something? Hop Sing has some toast and broth waiting for you. I\u2019ll get you a tray.\u201d Adam didn\u2019t wait for a reply. He pulled a blanket over Ben\u2019s legs and hurried out of the room. Ben immediately went into action. Using the bed for support, he made it to his clothes closet and took out his robe and slippers. In the same fashion, walls provided him added strength to get to Little Joe\u2019s room. Leaning against the doorway, the patriarch took in a heartwarming sight. His second son was holding Little Joe\u2019s hand, his head resting on the bed. Little Joe was awake, his eyes on Hoss with such joy that Ben knew. He knew his son had regained his memory. He stepped into the room, feeling as if he were walking on a cloud.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d His voice wasn\u2019t as strong as he would like, but it carried enough for Joe to turn his head to see his father, truly see him for the first time in three years. What passed between father and son in that moment was private, a moment they would hold dear to their hearts always. With footsteps that moved quickly despite Ben\u2019s illness, Ben was by his son\u2019s side in a moment. He sat down on the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d he repeated. Hoss woke, lifting his head, witnessing the reunion between his beloved brother and father. A great smile broke out over the gentle giant\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Oh, Pa, I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d Little Joe cried. \u201cI love you!\u201d Joe threw himself into his father\u2019s arms, Ben returning the boy\u2019s embrace. His hand rubbed the thin back, comforting the boy as both men tried not to cry and failed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSh, Joseph! Sh, you\u2019re home now. Oh Son, I\u2019m so glad to have you home. Sh, calm down.\u201d Slowly, Joe got himself under control. Resting his head on Ben\u2019s shoulder, he relaxed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa. I couldn\u2019t remember anything. I couldn\u2019t even remember who I was except that my name was Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s over, Joe. We\u2019re here for you now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was so alone,\u201d Joe moaned. He didn\u2019t offer anything else. Ben felt as though Joe was holding a great deal in, but that would come. That would come later.<\/p>\n

\u201cHot diggity,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cBout time ya let us know ya were back, Short shanks. We was getting plumb tuckered worrying about ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was worried about Pa,\u201d Joe confessed. \u201cPa are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m doing fine, Little Joe. You\u2019re the one who was sick with the fever. We\u2019re all going to be just fine.\u201d Little Joe didn\u2019t answer. After a few minutes, he sat back on the bed. Ben could see the boy was troubled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Joseph? What\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I have ta tell ya. I\u2026have to!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, Joseph. You can tell me anything. You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Pa I didn\u2019t shoot you. Ya gotta know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remembered, Joseph. You don\u2019t have to worry about that. I told the sheriff your gun never fired. I know it wasn\u2019t you.\u201d Joe closed his eyes in further relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could never hurt you,\u201d the boy muttered. \u201cI couldn\u2019t shoot anyone in cold blood, but not you Pa, not even if I did have amnesia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Joseph. Stop tormenting yourself,\u201d Ben chided gently. \u201cI can\u2019t believe how you\u2019ve grown. We have so much to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll say. Bet when the kid starts talking, he\u2019ll never stop,\u201d Hoss put in with glee. \u201cThis house is going to be turned upside down I reckon.\u201d Joe turned his gaze to his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many times do I gotta tell ya, Hoss? I aint a kid no more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t a kid, any more,\u201d Ben corrected automatically. Hoss and Ben both burst out laughing. Joe managed a wan grin. Ben fought back his concerns, his parental intuition telling him that Joe may have come home, but he still had to deal with the last three years. Shaking off this new fear, just as he had the fear of the nightmare just a short time before, Ben Cartwright told himself he didn\u2019t care. His youngest child, his baby was home. No matter what happened, they would deal with it, together as a family, and they would never let anything happen to Joseph again, not if they could help it.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, you cannot let this man get away from you,\u201d Adam Cartwright warned. \u201cHe\u2019s dangerous.\u201d Sheriff Roy Coffee rolled his eyes in exasperation.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you don\u2019t know that, Adam. Ya don\u2019t know anything about Warton.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither do you. Pa says Joe\u2019s gun never fired. The only witness was this Warton character. Seems to me he was the one incited that lynch mob. He almost got Joe killed for no reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I have no evidence against the man. I can\u2019t just arrest him on your say so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, I\u2019m serious. Either you do some investigating or I will!\u201d Adam\u2019s tone was cold, one Roy recognized immediately.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, this is a matter for the law, not an amateur. Leave it to me,\u201d he ordered. Adam\u2019s face only grew more distant. He leaned across Roy\u2019s desk, aiming his face at the seated sheriff.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy father and brother almost died because of this lunatic,\u201d the young man hissed. \u201cI\u2019m not going to sit by while he hurts them or someone else again. Do you understand me?\u201d Roy Coffee stood to his full height, his own face smoldering with anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tell me how to do my job, Adam. You do something foolish and I\u2019ll put you in jail so fast your head will spin. Do you think it\u2019s going to do your pa or Joe any good if you get yourself in trouble? Now go on home and leave Warton ta me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I\u2019ll do what I have to, Roy,\u201d Adam answered, storming from the office. Outside he leaned against Sport. Warton was still in town, staying in a room above the saloon. Roy knew that much, but little else about the man who had caused such physical and mental anguish to the Cartwright family. Adam couldn\u2019t stand that the man was still walking around free. He hated Warton, knowing without a doubt in his gut, that if the man had the chance again, he\u2019d wreck more havoc on Little Joe or Ben. In the week since Little Joe\u2019s fever broke, the family was trying to get back to normal, but Joe was far too quiet and the rest of the men walked on tip toe around him. He had yet to offer any information about his life over the past three years. Ben cautioned patience which Adam agreed with. So did Hoss. At the same time Adam wished he could reach his little brother, wished more than anything that Joe would confide in them. He thought when Joe and Ben were on the road to recovery, life would finally get back to normal. It was anything but.<\/p>\n

Riding home, Adam was halfway home when he pulled Sport to a halt. He waited in shocked amazement until his little brother reached him. Joe was clearly as surprised to see him. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, as if he had been caught at something he wasn\u2019t supposed to be doing. Adam almost smiled. Trust Joe to do the unexpected.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, hi Adam,\u201d Little Joe greeted. Cochise whinnied to his stable mate. The horses nudged noses as the brothers faced each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Adam? Is that all you can say. When did Dr. Martin give you leave to ride, Little Brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, er, he didn\u2019t exactly.\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought not. Does Pa know you\u2019re out here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot\u2026well\u2026no spose not, but Adam I got a good reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019m going to hate myself for asking this, but what is your good reason?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to talk to the sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout?\u201d Adam queried trying to maintain his patience. He had forgotten how Joe could beat around the bush when he thought he was in trouble.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s private,\u201d Joe answered. \u201cReally, Adam, I gotta go.\u201d Joe tried to brush past Adam. Adam grabbed Cochise\u2019s reins. It was the first time Adam had seen his little brother back on Cochise. When Joe disappeared, the horse had found its way home. Hoss had lovingly tended the pinto ever since. Cochise pulled away sensing trouble, but Adam held tight.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, for crying out loud. You\u2019re not my keeper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn case you\u2019d forgotten, Little Joe, I am your keeper. I\u2019m your brother and I care about what happens to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to do this on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe hell you do!\u201d Adam argued. He was about to say more when a shot rang through the air. To Adam\u2019s horror, Joe grabbed his arm as he was thrown off his horse by the impact of the bullet that hit him. Adam was off Sport instantly, kneeling beside his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d he cried out. \u201cJoe!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d Joe croaked, lying on the ground, his eyes closed clutching his left arm. Blood flowed from a wound in the upper arm. The bullet was still lodged in the arm as far as Adam could tell.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re closer to town than we are to home,\u201d Adam surmised. \u201cWho the hell did this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReckon I can take credit for that,\u201d a man said. Joe\u2019s eyes flew open as Adam whirled around only to be cold cocked with the butt of a pistol. Collapsing in oblivion to the ground, he never heard Joe\u2019s scream.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Adam!\u201d Nor did he see the smug wicked face of the man he knew would attack his family again. Warton bent down checking for a pulse in Adam\u2019s wrist then turned his attention to Joe who was trying to scramble away from the man in vain. Warton moved quickly, his hand coming down on Little Joe\u2019s neck, holding him firm into the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Joe\u2026now it\u2019s time for you to die\u2026once and for all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 8<\/p>\n

Joe tried to scramble away from Warton, disregarding the broken arm where a bullet was now embedded. Wave after wave of excruciating pain slammed into his brain. Still, he tried to ignore his torment while getting to Adam who lay motionless on the ground. Joe struggled to no avail as Warton had his hand on the boy\u2019s neck. Typical of the boy was his concern for Adam as he yelled at Warton.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d ya go and do that for? Adam never hurt ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t he? You didn\u2019t hear him in the saloon asking questions about me. Then he goes to the sheriff. I followed him out here planning ta kill him. Now that he\u2019s dead, it\u2019s your turn.\u201d Joe had difficulty getting a good look at Adam, past Warton. Was Adam dead? If he was, it was all Joe\u2019s fault. He\u2019d led Warton to town, he thought. With one more surge of anger, he tried to get up, but he didn\u2019t have the energy. Warton\u2019s hand grasped Joe\u2019s neck hard, squeezing it so that Joe choked, his dark head falling back on the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could leave ya here ta bleed ta death,\u201d Warton taunted. \u201cI could. You owe me Joe, don\u2019t you?\u201d Joe\u2019s mouth opened, but not to reply, only to gasp for air. Warton suddenly let him go. Joe rolled back and forth catching his breath, and groaning with pain. Warton\u2019s foot came down on Joe\u2019s injured arm, slowly applying pressure to the lower arm, his cold dark eyes locked on Joe\u2019s green orbs which widened in agony as the pressure became harder and harder until both bones snapped and Joe screamed in agony. Warton\u2019s evil laugh was barely heard by the boy barely clinging to consciousness. If the man hadn\u2019t been so rough, Joe probably wouldn\u2019t even have felt Warton wrapping a rope around his ankles, and tying it in knots. That he didn\u2019t bother to tie Joe\u2019s hands didn\u2019t register until the pain started to subside and he was able to see the rope being tied to the saddle\u2019s pummel. With a sickening realization, Joe knew exactly how he was going to die and this time he was certain there would be no rescue, for his family did not even know where he or Adam were. His mind told him this could not be happening.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Joe begged, ashamed of his fear. \u201cPlease, don\u2019t!\u201d Warton leaned down patting Joe\u2019s face while Joe grabbed at him with his good arm. Warton shook him off. Joe was still bleeding and growing weaker. Warton had no sympathy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told ya, ya was gonna die, Joe. Ya turned me inta the sheriff in Modesto. Iffn it weren\u2019t for friends a mine, I woulda hung.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou killed a man,\u201d Joe retorted. \u201cI saw you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, and I should a killed ya then. Ya know it\u2019s funny. I didn\u2019t know Cartwright was your pa when I shot him. It was a spur of the moment thing. I saw ya draw yer gun on the old man and the rest is history. Figured ya would hang for killing the old man. Too bad yer brothers saved ya from that lynch mob. It would a been easier if ya had died by hanging than this way, but I\u2019m gonna enjoy it.\u201d Joe\u2019s mind was dizzy with pain and fear. He watched as Warton stood, lifting his gun in the air and bringing it down. As if every second were an hour, Joe waited, holding his breath. Cochise was already nervous, prancing a bit on the hard ground. It wouldn\u2019t take much to set her off. Joe closed his eyes as the gun descended, preparing himself for death.<\/p>\n

Joe heard, not the thump of the gun on Cochise\u2019s rump, but the sound of a body hitting the ground. Through the fog of throbbing pain in his arm, he saw Warton on the ground with Adam on top of him. The urge to get up and help his brother washed through the youngest Cartwright, but he could barely move. Warton and Adam were well matched being of equal height and similar weight. Joe resisted the urge to take his gun and shoot Warton. If he did, he\u2019d scare Cochise who continued to prance nervously about, as if he would bolt any second. Joe concentrated on talking to the horse and dealing the agony that ripped through his entire left arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, Cooch,\u201d he crooned as Adam and Warton went at it. \u201cShh, Girl. Calm down for both of us, huh? Cooch, ya know me now, don\u2019tcha? Cooch.\u201d Warton landed near the horse\u2019s feet spurring the pinto to take off, trotting, pulling Joe\u2019s hapless body after him. Joe stifled a cry of pure terror as his back scrapped along the ground, and his body was taken over a rock. When he hit the ground again with his arm, and head, the pain was too much for the boy. His one scream ended abruptly when he passed out and Cochise continued his run.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I can\u2019t find Joe anywhere,\u201d Hoss told his father. \u201cCochise is gone. Do ya think he woulda just gone for a ride?\u201d Ben had been pacing back and forth in the great room of his home worrying about his youngest son. He had expressly requested Joe not to go off the ranch until they knew that Warton was either out of town or in jail. He had agreed with Adam and Hoss that Warton had a grudge against Joe, though Joe wouldn\u2019t admit it nor would he talk about it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Hoss. You know your brother, what do you think?\u201d Ben returned.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll saddle up the horses,\u201d Hoss replied. In a very short period of time, Ben and Hoss were on their horses, heading down the road towards Virginia City. Cochise\u2019s tracks weren\u2019t hard to follow. It was clear after a short distance that Joe was headed into town.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I reckon Joe aint changed too much. He still does things kind of sudden like,\u201d Hoss grinned as they rode towards town. Ben wasn\u2019t in quite such a good humor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I get my hands on that boy\u2026\u201d he muttered. His words died in his throat at the sight of Cochise galloping towards them on the road dragging an unidentifiable object behind him. Both men stared, not believing what they were seeing. Hoss realized what was happening before the older man did. Breaking his own horse into a gallop, Hoss caught Cochise\u2019s reins, pulling him to a stop. A sudden gun shot caused the horse to rear, but Hoss managed to control him. Ben reached him just as Hoss leaped off Chubb with amazing alacrity and knelt beside his unconscious brother. Ben was by the boys\u2019 side in another few seconds.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Hoss gasped. He quickly untied the rope that held Joe captive to Cochise\u2019s movements. \u201cPa, who coulda\u2026\u201d Ben shook his head, holding up his hand. Another gun shot rang through the air. Ben looked from Joe to Hoss and back to his son. In silent agreement, the two men examined Joe for injuries. His left arm was broken in three places while the rest of his body was scraped and filthy from the dirt in the road. When Ben lifted the boy, even unconscious he moaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Punkin,\u201d Hoss breathed seeing his brother back missing at least a layer of skin. From his waist to his shoulders, several areas were scraped badly. The amount of damage was something the men would never forget. Ben got up, and went over to Buck. He took his bedroll, angrily wiping away a stray tear.<\/p>\n

\u201cHelp me wrap him in the blanket,\u201d the father instructed, keeping his voice stony and determined. \u201cThen get to town and bring the doctor back. If you can see where those shots came from.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir, Pa,\u201d Hoss assured his father. Looking down at Joe, Hoss\u2019 anger and hurt was evident as he assisted his father. Hoof beats clattered down the road announcing a rider. Hoss and Ben were both relieved to see Adam come riding down the road at a hard gallop. Pulling Sport up short, he leaped off the horse, running to his father who was carrying Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank God!\u201d Adam breathed. \u201cPa, where did you come from?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind that now,\u201d Ben shot back. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d Hoss held Joe while Ben mounted his horse. Handing his brother up to his father, Hoss listened as Adam responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was Warton. I\u2019m sorry, Pa. I couldn\u2019t stop him from hurting Joe. He\u2026he\u2019s dead now. I killed him. I didn\u2019t have a choice.\u201d The words hung in the air. Precious seconds passed. Adam\u2019s contrition begged for Ben\u2019s forgiveness. Ben nodded with encouragement and care to his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Adam insisted, not telling his father of the knock he had taken on the head.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d Ben answered, his chocolate colored eyes conveying far more relief to his son than that one word. He turned his attention to his second son. \u201cHoss, get to town. After that, stop at Roy\u2019s and tell him what\u2019s happened. Roy can come out to the ranch if he wants to talk to Adam. Adam, help me get your brother home.\u201d Hoss had handed Joe up to their father, facing him forward to take pressure off his back. The boy remained unconscious to Ben\u2019s relief. The ride home was going to be difficult. Hoss touched Joe\u2019s leg.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be back quick, Punkin. You hang on now, ya hear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo, Hoss,\u201d Ben instructed for the third time. Hoss slapped his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder then took Chubb and galloped down the road towards town. Adam mounted Sport.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go, Son,\u201d Ben said. Father and son trotted back towards their home, with Joe resting his head against his father\u2019s chest. Ben wondered if his son could hear his thumping heart, feel the rage mixed with dread at Joe\u2019s condition, or if he would ever wake again to be part of the family he had been lost to for the past three years. Ben wanted his sons, all of them, whole and healthy. He clutched Joe to him, only daring to touch him below the waist. Joe was going to go through hell if he survived\u2026and Ben would be with him. He would be with his son every step of the way, every step.<\/p>\n

Chapter 9<\/p>\n

Joe came back to reality gradually, his mind grabbling with the nightmare that he was living and the love that enfolded him. With his ear next to his father\u2019s chest, he could hear Ben\u2019s heartbeat, feel the love of the man\u2019s arms in which he lay. A faint scent of bay told him that his father held him. Forcing himself to move, he regretted his action instantly for the excruciating pain threatened to take him under again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d His father\u2019s voice reached him. Could he reply? Drawing from deep within he found he was able to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? Adam? Adam?\u201d Ben\u2019s hand touched Joe\u2019s curls, providing much needed comfort as the words gave the boy some peace.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right here, Son. Warton is dead. He won\u2019t hurt you again. Hoss has gone for the doctor. You just rest, Son, you hear me? We\u2019ll be home soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s over,\u201d Joe mumbled to himself. It was over. He knew even in his befuddled mind that his father didn\u2019t know why Warton would try and kill him or direct his rotten vengeance towards the Cartwright\u2019s themselves, didn\u2019t know that Joe had trusted the wrong man, didn\u2019t know. Oh God, there was so much that he hadn\u2019t told them. Hot flames of fire licked at his back, causing Joe to cry out when Buck stumbled. Through the next few miles till they got back to the ranch, all Joe could say was that it was over. Ben couldn\u2019t get any more out of his son than that.<\/p>\n

Finally the house came into view. As they rounded the barn, Joe lifted his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cHome,\u201d he breathed. Why hadn\u2019t he felt this relief and happiness when his father first brought him home? Why hadn\u2019t he understood how much he missed it? The boy didn\u2019t know, didn\u2019t understand how he felt or the way he felt. He was so confused, so lost, yet unable to do anything other than deal with the fire on his back and the pain in his arm. He was suddenly aware of an explosion of agony as his father and brother lifted him off the saddle. The gray haze barely lifted when he found himself sitting on his bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we need to get his clothes off,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to get his back clean,\u201d Ben retorted, a little more sharply than was normal. He didn\u2019t apologize. \u201cThe dirt and the pebbles will cause an infection.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, it\u2019s going to hurt like hell to clean his back. Why don\u2019t we get his clothes off, and wait for Paul. It won\u2019t be too long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I don\u2019t know,\u201d Ben hesitated. Joe wanted to tell them what to do, but he didn\u2019t know either. He was already suffering\u2026suffering just as he had when he was with the Bannocks. With a blink of the eye, Ben was replaced in Joe\u2019s mind by the Indians who had captured him. White Eagle and his warriors were holding him down. He could see White Eagle\u2019s eyes filled with hatred, raising his knife and slicing it across his thigh. Tossing in agony, Joe protested his treatment.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! No! Not again!\u201d he screamed. \u201cPa don\u2019t let them. The Bannock\u2019s are\u2026torturing me. I can\u2019t take it. I can\u2019t take it. I don\u2019t want to let you down, Pa. Oh please!\u201d Joe didn\u2019t hear his father\u2019s reassurances, didn\u2019t hear anything. His eyes were wide at the sight of the Indians who filled his line of vision. He screamed and screamed gut wrenching cries that rang through the house, worse than any nightmare that Joe had ever had to Ben and Adam\u2019s knowledge.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, dear God, what\u2019s happening to him,\u201d Ben cried. Adam pulled his brother to him, leaning his baby brother\u2019s head against his chest. Holding him tight around the waist, just below the abrasions on his back, Adam didn\u2019t let Joe go even though he tried to bolt. Joe\u2019s cries grew hoarse until he collapsed against the oldest brother who had protected him from the day he was born.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Adam asked. Joe\u2019s body was limp against him. Ben, terrified, put his fingers on Joe\u2019s neck, then breathed a sigh of relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s unconscious,\u201d the father decided. \u201cLet\u2019s get him undressed. Hop Sing get some hot water and clean cloths.\u201d Hop Sing scuttled away. With Adam holding his brother, Ben was able to get Joe\u2019s pants, boots and socks off without too much difficulty. The tattered shirt wasn\u2019t so simple. Not only was there the broken arm to consider, but shards of the shirt were embedded in his back. They were still working at it when Paul arrived.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, haven\u2019t you seen me enough in the last few weeks,\u201d Paul Martin tried to tease as he came into Joe\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is serious, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Hoss told me about it. He\u2019s pretty upset.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is he?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPutting the horses up in the barn. He said he needed to keep busy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go talk to him when we\u2019re finished here,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can go now, Adam,\u201d Dr. Martin ordered. \u201cBen can help me. You look as though you could use some rest. I want to see you when I\u2019m done with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Ben asked in puzzled concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss said he noticed a bump on your head, Adam.\u201d Adam shook his head in surprise, his headache telling him Hoss was right, his pride not wanting to admit it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWarton hit me,\u201d He admitted protesting at the same time. \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you have no choice. You\u2019ll let Paul check you over before he leaves.\u201d Ben\u2019s chocolate colored eyes bore into Adam\u2019s hazel orbs. Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa. No problem,\u201d the young man consented. \u201cBut I\u2019m fine,\u201d He mumbled, letting his father take his place. Even unconscious, Joe moaned at the movement. His cries ate at his father and brother\u2019s hearts. Ben leaned back on the wall of the bed with Joe resting against him. Adam\u2019s last glimpse of his brother was seeing his father comforting him while Paul and Hop Sing tended to his injuries. He only hoped they hadn\u2019t been too late in saving Joe. He only hoped.<\/p>\n

Outside, Adam found Hoss in the barn, sitting on a bale of hay, tears slipping down his cheek. It was clear to his oldest brother that Hoss was trying not to cry. Sitting next to the younger man, Adam put his arm around him. Hoss\u2019 eyes met his brother\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe okay?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss. It\u2019s up to Paul and Joe now.\u201d
\nHoss buried his head in his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make sense,\u201d Hoss finally said. \u201cHow could this happen? Joe shoulda been here. What\u2019d he go runnin off for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said he wanted to talk to the sheriff. I\u2019m guessing it was about Warton.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe coulda told us. Ya know, Adam, it seems like he aint really trusted us since he come home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Hoss, maybe that\u2019s something we need to take up with our baby brother when he gets better. We don\u2019t know what happened to him while he was gone. Sometimes I wonder. You know what he said up there though?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah.\u201d Adam didn\u2019t speak for a few minutes. Hoss observed his brother\u2019s pale face. Adam appeared truly tormented. Placing his big paw on the smaller man\u2019s knee, Hoss encouraged him to open up.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa kin tell me, Big Brother,\u201d he soothed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said\u2026\u201d Adam felt his own tears falling down his face. He clenched his fists with his anger and empathy for his brother. \u201cHe thought he was with the Bannocks. He said they were hurting him.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice cracked in his anguish. \u201cHoss, he didn\u2019t want to let Pa down.\u201d Silence greeted the admission. The two men had been told Joe had been tortured to death by the Bannocks. But to hear Joe admit even that much of his ordeal was like nothing either brother had ever felt, and they never wanted to feel it again.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo wonder he had amnesia,\u201d Hoss mused. Adam shook his head as Hoss paced.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in so much pain. It\u2019s not surprising, he\u2019s reliving that nightmare,\u201d he rationalized.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we gonna do, Adam? How\u2019s he going ta live with those memories?\u201d Hoss\u2019 own voice was rather desperate. Adam came to stand in front of his younger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going to do what we\u2019ve always done for Joe. We\u2019re going to be there for him. We\u2019ll get him and ourselves through this.\u201d Hoss\u2019 blue eyes were wide in his compassion.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Pa? This has to be killin him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s a strong man, Hoss. He\u2019ll try and help Joe and us.\u201d Hoss nodded. Adam was right. He was\u2026Hoss had to believe that. Together the brothers walked back to the house to help their father, to help their brother and to deal with the nightmare of Joe\u2019s past, a past that they had not shared, a past that left them with nightmares of their own, nightmares for the baby brother they had always vowed to protect, even at the cost of their own lives. They had let him down, they believed, and that was what was suddenly brought home to them by Joe\u2019s admission. They had let him down.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Upstairs, Ben was holding his own as Dr. Paul Martin and Hop Sing worked on his Joseph. It took only one careful sweep of Joe\u2019s back with a warm wash cloth to bring the boy around, crying out in pain. Paul saw no recourse, but to anaesthetize his patient with chloroform. After Joe was under, Dr. Martin was able to clean the back, picking out the shreds of Joe\u2019s shirt, and then cleaning it again. Several dirty basins later, he had finished the job to Ben\u2019s relief. Hop Sing and Ben between them supported Joe while Paul then set the broken arm and splinted it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can cast it in a few days. Ben he has to stay off his back, so he\u2019ll need to lie on his side. I know that might not be easy, but splinting the arm to his chest was the only thing I could do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll manage,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cWhatever he needs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll leave some laudanum for the pain. Tell him he has to take the medication. I\u2019ll also leave some medicine in case he develops a fever. I have no doubt infection will set in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill he be all right?\u201d Ben ground out. Paul shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s up to him, Ben. We\u2019ll just have to wait and see. It\u2019s going to be a bumpy couple of days. He\u2019s still not recovered from the hanging. We\u2019ll just have to wait and see.\u201d Ben didn\u2019t tell Paul of Joe\u2019s cries just a short while ago. He could hardly accept those words without feeling a distinct guilt. Ben needed to talk to his son, needed to help him deal with the events that had taken away his memories. No, Ben didn\u2019t tell Paul. He just nodded his understanding as Paul gathered his equipment and soaked them in more hot water. Then he helped Ben and Hop Sing position Joe on his side with pillows supporting him. As an afterthought, Ben brushed the dark curls, before looking up at Paul.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you tell the boys, and then examine Adam? I\u2019ll stay with Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you can\u2019t wear yourself out taking care of the boy.\u201d Ben\u2019s look could have killed. Paul wasn\u2019t impressed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to tell Adam and Hoss that you are still recovering from your own gunshot wound. You will have to take shifts with Joe, or I swear, I\u2019ll figure out a way to get you to rest, Ben. You\u2019re too old to wear yourself out. Besides you\u2019re my friend. I don\u2019t want you to have a heart attack. I don\u2019t think that would help Joe either.\u201d Ben\u2019s face crumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou win, Paul. You always do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn this house?\u201d Paul sighed. \u201cNot often enough. I\u2019ll be back tomorrow, Ben. Joe should wake in an hour or so. If he doesn\u2019t, send for me.\u201d He patted his friend on the back, then left the father to sit with his son. Ben pulled a chair around to sit in front of Joe. The boy was still under the effects of the anesthetic, his face pale. They had positioned him on his left side. Ben took the hand in his own, talking to Joe as if he were awake. He didn\u2019t hear Adam or Hoss arrive to hear him, didn\u2019t know that his older sons had the same questions and thoughts he did.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened out there, Joseph? Why did you have to go into town?\u201d He stroked the boy\u2019s hand, then rubbed the furrowed brow. \u201cWhy couldn\u2019t you confide in me or your brothers? Was this another time when you had to do what you had to do, always determined to fix things yourself? When are you going to learn that you don\u2019t have to do everything by yourself? Oh, Joe. I wish I knew what happened to you when you escaped or left the Bannocks. Where have you been?\u201d Looking into the young face, holding his hand, and thinking of the days past, Ben felt his son had changed while he was gone. He felt lost at knowing he had missed three years of Joe\u2019s life when his son needed him. It wasn\u2019t like Adam. Adam had gone east, gone to college, enjoyed experiences Ben had not shared. That was normal, a part of the growing and maturing process. However, Joe\u2019s past wasn\u2019t anything a boy should have gone through, with or without his father. Or was it? Ben didn\u2019t even know the answer to that question.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Hoss called through the open doorway. \u201cPa, kin we come in?\u201d At first Ben didn\u2019t hear the young man, his second son. Slowly he looked up, relieved actually to see his two older boys. Nodding wearily, he admitted Joe\u2019s brothers to the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul gave us a run down,\u201d Adam informed him. \u201cWhy don\u2019t I make out a schedule and we\u2019ll take shifts with Joe? It was Paul\u2019s idea, but I think it\u2019s a good one.\u201d Ben shook his head. Adam was about to protest when Ben\u2019s palm came up in the air, forcing his son to silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter he\u2019s awake, after he knows we\u2019re here, and I\u2019m assured he\u2019ll be all right, then I\u2019ll leave him, Adam. Not before. And Adam, what did Paul say about your head?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe has a slight concussion, Pa,\u201d Hoss confessed. Adam made a face. \u201cTold Adam he should get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen that\u2019s what you need to do, Son,\u201d Ben ordered.
\nAdam turned quickly away, his feet leaving the room quietly. Ben looked at Hoss who still had tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t your fault, Son. There\u2019s nothing you could have done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure there is, Pa. With Joe, if we\u2019d just got him before he got out the door, that mighta helped. Reckon it don\u2019t help to cry now, but I jus caint help it.\u201d Hoss leaned on the front of the bed frame. The men were silent watching Joe as he slept. Several minutes later, Adam and Hop Sing appeared. Adam had two chairs. Hop Sing brought a tray of sandwiches and coffee. Ben smiled despite himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I told you to get some rest,\u201d he chided to the hazel eyed man.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did and I will, after I make sure you get some nourishment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c#1 Son correct,\u201d Hop Sing agreed. \u201cIf Cartlights don\u2019t eat, who take care Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank-you Hop Sing,\u201d Ben returned. Hop Sing put the tray down on Joe\u2019s dresser then hurried out of the room, mumbling something in Cantonese. Joe moaned a bit, but didn\u2019t come around. Adam sat on the side of the bed. Joe\u2019s back was covered in bandages, his chest bare, a blanket pulled over him. Like his father, Adam had so many unanswered questions related to his brother. Hoss was quiet as he sat in his chair. No one eat the sandwiches. They sat uneaten on the tray as the three men concentrated their energy and love on the one family member they loved almost above all else, fearful that Joe may have come home\u2026but that he might not live to answer the mystery that surrounded him, the mystery of the last three years he had lived\u2026on his own.<\/p>\n

Chapter 10<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! You have ta be patient,\u201d Hoss encouraged a few days later. Ben was sitting at the breakfast table, sipping on some hot coffee. With his chocolate eyes looking over the rim at his second son, the father tried to smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is right, Pa,\u201d Adam concurred. \u201cJoe\u2019s confused. He\u2019s been through hell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand my own son!\u201d Ben snapped. Putting down the cup of coffee, he leaned back in the chair. \u201cThe problem is, does he understand him self.\u201d Adam nodded in agreement. Hoss was puzzled as evidenced by the confusion written on his readable face.<\/p>\n

\u201cReckon I don\u2019t git it, Pa,\u201d the young man admitted putting down his fork after finishing a large plate of hotcakes, eggs, sausage, bacon, toast and fried potatoes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s over the worst of the infection and his back is healing. But he hasn\u2019t said much more than a few words to each of us in the last several days. He has nightmares at night. Adam, you are right. Joe has been through hell. The question is, how are we are going to help Joseph deal with what is tormenting him?\u201d Silence filled the room answering Ben\u2019s question.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I thought,\u201d Ben answered. Putting his napkin down on the dining room table, the big man walked through his great room, up the stairs and into his son\u2019s bedroom where Joe was trying to find a comfortable position. This was a nearly impossible task given his injuries. Ben understood that. Still Joe had barely complained over the last few days. That was what upset Ben. Joseph\u2019s very silence was killing his father inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Joseph,\u201d he greeted with a rather over optimistic tone. \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d
\nJoe\u2019s answer was actually predictable.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell good. You know Adam was just saying he could do with some help mending fences.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t respond to the teasing remark with his usual bluster. Ben closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, are you in pain?\u201d he went on. Joe remained quiet. \u201cJoseph I asked you a question.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa,\u201d the boy repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, so help me if you say I\u2019m fine one more time,\u201d Ben threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I\u2019ve never known you to feel so sorry for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess ya don\u2019t know me that well,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not take that tone with me!\u201d Joe sulked some more. Ben put his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cNow tell me the truth. Are you in pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome.\u201d Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you so angry about, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not!\u201d Joe objected. He couldn\u2019t help looking into the chocolate colored eyes that met his with such honesty. Ben was pleading with his son. Joe\u2019s hazel gaze did not leave his father\u2019s. Sinking into his bed, Joe felt the tears stinging his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he admitted finally. \u201cI can\u2019t talk about it, Pa, not yet. I can\u2019t. I\u2019m really tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to have to talk about it sometime, Son,\u201d Ben reminded him. \u201cJoseph, the three years you were gone, well they were lonely years without you. We missed you. We love you. We need you.\u201d Again, Joe didn\u2019t answer. Ben had never felt at such a loss before, not with Joseph, not with the child of his heart. There were things he didn\u2019t know about the boy anymore. He knew he shouldn\u2019t hesitate, but there would be time in the future. Patting Joe\u2019s hand, he nodded. Moving over to the table, he took a teaspoon and the bottle of laudanum. Pouring the liquid into the spoon, he gave it to Joe who turned away.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it, Son, or we\u2019ll finish this conversation since you must be up to it.\u201d Joe smiled a bit at that. He took the medication without further protest. Ben put the bottle back on the table. He started to stand up. He was surprised when Joe\u2019s hand grabbed for his.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Pa. Stay until I fall asleep.\u201d Ben sat back down. His hand tenderly touched the boy\u2019s cheek while his other clasped Joe\u2019s firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be here, Joseph. You know that. I love you, Son.\u201d Joe nodded, looking away, then closing his eyes to rest. Ben shook his head in frustration, and worry. Where was the son he remembered? Joe seemed to be improving after he initially came home. Since his run in with Warton, Joseph had been almost inapproachable. Three years ago, Ben would have had it out with Joe. Now\u2026now he wasn\u2019t so sure. How had Joe changed? What kind of emotions and feelings hid behind the handsome face that always used to let his emotions show? Joe had always been as readable as an open book. Not any more. He was almost like Adam, holding everything in. That admission bothered Ben right down to his boots. He held Joseph\u2019s hand in his and prayed for guidance, prayed for the words that he would eventually need\u2026for the love of his son to be his again.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Joe knew he was hurting his family. As his arm and back healed, he gained strength, slow but sure. There was nothing he wanted more than to be part of his family again, but within he knew the story had to be told. He had to get Warton and the past out of his system and he couldn\u2019t. He just couldn\u2019t hurt his father any more than he had been. Frightened, and angry, his frustration was directed towards himself, just as it often was when he didn\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Short Shanks. Ya ready ta go downstairs?\u201d Hoss asked one morning when the doctor had given the okay for Joe to get out of bed. The boy still hadn\u2019t bulked at the long days in bed. Instead he had slept, shutting out reality and the truth. Now, with his brother\u2019s large body towering over him, he turned away.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired, Hoss. Think I\u2019ll just stay where I\u2019m comfy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw ya don\u2019t!\u201d Hoss chided. \u201cYa need ta get outta this bed. Ya been in it too long as it is. Ya aint got a choice, Short Shanks.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t object. What was the point. Hoss was twice his size. Hoss was as gentle as could be in lifting his little brother in his big arms. Joe couldn\u2019t help leaning his head against Hoss\u2019 shoulder, feeling protected by the big galoot, he thought. Downstairs on the sofa, Hoss made sure Joe was comfortable. His back had healed enough so that he could put some pressure on it against the soft pillow. Joe had to admit that the great room was far more open and airy than his own room. Hoss got Joe a pitcher and some water and the book he had been reading. Joe knew he couldn\u2019t ask for better care, care that he had missed even when he didn\u2019t really know it.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa look better,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cWe was right worried about ya for a spell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you always worry,\u201d Joe returned. Hoss sat down, lifting Joe\u2019s legs and letting them rest on his.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Joe objected.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s the spirit, Little Brother. Wondered where that been at. Ya been lower than low since ya got hurt. Now are ya gonna talk ta me or are ya gonna set there, feeling sorry for yerself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t feel sorry for myself. I never have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa do now.\u201d Well Joe couldn\u2019t quite argue with that. Hoss was right. Then he usually was. That was the trouble with big brothers\u2026Joe stopped that train of thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, do ya know what it was like here the last three years? Do ya?\u201d Joe remained quiet. He might not know the answer to Hoss\u2019 question. However, he could guess.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa went ta school that morning and ya never come back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you never found me!\u201d Joe shot back without really realizing it. Hoss pursed his lips a bit.<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, we didn\u2019t. We done looked high and low for ya for weeks and weeks. Pa was near out of his mind. Didn\u2019t eat or sleep much, and we worried about him. Worried about you too. Short Shanks, yer mighty important ta this family. Well none a us been the same since. Ya go on ya know, but it aint the same.\u201d Still Joe didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cDagnabit, Little Joe, I aint used ta talking so much. Aint ya got anything ta say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpose not,\u201d Joe answered. \u201cHoss, I know ya mean well, but ya can\u2019t understand. I didn\u2019t know who I was. I was living a life that has nothing to do with any of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere?\u201d Hoss curiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny,\u201d Joe admitted, his barriers breaking down despite himself. \u201cSpose it wasn\u2019t that far away. Hoss, I\u2019d have ta tell Pa and Adam all this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMight be easier just ta tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no. That\u2019s okay, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe would have been there fer ya if we could,\u201d Hoss told him. Joe couldn\u2019t doubt his brother\u2019s sincerity. He spoke even though he wasn\u2019t sure he should.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so strange, Hoss,\u201d he admitted. \u201cYa can\u2019t imagine what it\u2019s like not ta know who you are or where you come from.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, guess I caint rightly understand. Wanta tell me?\u201d Joe closed his eyes. Hoss was plenty patient. Joe knew his brother would do anything for him, just as he would for his brothers or his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, if I had known who I was, I woulda come home. Ya believe that, don\u2019tcha?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse I do, Short Shanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was hurt, hurt bad,\u201d Joe finally confided. \u201cI didn\u2019t remember anything before I woke up in a bed in a house\u2026in a place I didn\u2019t recognize. They said they found me, found me on the river bank. I was in so much pain.\u201d Joe couldn\u2019t go into the injuries he had, or the nightmares he had had over the years, nightmares he couldn\u2019t identify. He couldn\u2019t do that to Hoss, nor to anyone.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, Little Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I got well, the family who took me in gave me a job working on their ranch. They had about three hundred head of cattle. I worked there for awhile. Then I drifted\u2026Aw Hoss, it\u2019s my fault, Warton hurt Adam, and shot Pa and me. I didn\u2019t know he\u2019d come after me. Heck I even feel guilty he\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, he\u2019s dead, but yer all right, Punkin!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d Joe mused out loud. \u201cI don\u2019t know why I feel the way I do. I\u2019m just confused. I should have stopped him, Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe. Ya couldn\u2019t stop a killer and that\u2019s what he was. Adam done tole us how Warton attacked him and you. He shot Pa in cold blood. You\u2019re not a miracle worker, Little Brother. Yer just one man, and yer not very big at that.\u201d Joe shot Hoss a glare, then couldn\u2019t help but giggle. Hoss grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s a sound I done missed. Iffn ya can tell me this stuff, Little Brother, caint ya tell Pa? He\u2019d like ta help. So would me and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpose I can think on it, Big Brother,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cI just need some time.\u201d Hoss made a little face, then patted Joe\u2019s knee. Joe wondered if Hoss understood his message. Hoss got up, pulling a blanket over his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa got plenty of time, Punkin. I\u2019ll tell Pa what ya done said. We just want ya back home, ya know?\u201d Joe gave his brother a half grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Hoss. So do I.\u201d Joe meant it. He meant exactly what he said. He wanted to be back home too. The problem was\u2026he just wasn\u2019t sure how to go about it.<\/p>\n

Chapter 11<\/p>\n

The sands of time moved slowly for the Cartwright\u2019s, for Ben, Adam, and Hoss. Each one ached, their hearts wounded by a pain only Joe could heal.<\/p>\n

A ranch doesn\u2019t run itself. Ben found himself and his two older sons caught up in round up and branding time. Joe was instructed to stay at home as Dr. Martin would not allow him to ride yet. After several weeks, Joe had insisted on doing his fair share around the ranch, keeping the horses groomed, keeping the tack room cleaned, even mucking the stalls although he still didn\u2019t have the use of his right hand. On top of that he asked his father to try keeping the books which he was surprisingly adept at. The young man remained unusually quiet, often curbing his temper before he could lose it when Adam or Hoss slipped into their old ways and teased him. The tension from the youngest son was thick, and no one dared to confront him for fear he would bolt permanently.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we can\u2019t go on like this,\u201d Adam said one morning. He was eating breakfast with his father. Hoss was just coming down the stairs, and Joe had already eaten and gone to the barn. Another unusual aspect of Little Joe\u2019s return to the family was his early hour of rising. It was eerie for the family to wake and know that Joe had a head start on them, but from the first time he had been allowed out of bed, that had been his habit. Even Hoss shook his head at finding Joe\u2019s bed empty more usual than not. Joe liked to sleep in and getting him out of bed was usually a job in and of itself. This new Joe was impossible to figure out.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, Adam?\u201d Ben asked, not being obtuse, but too worried to guess at what the young man meant.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what I mean!\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Ben warned in return. Adam shook his head. He put his fork down, pushing away the plate of food in front of him. Hoss sat down. Normally he might have teased his brother by grabbing the plate of food saying if he didn\u2019t want it. Hoss would be plenty glad to finish it for him. This time, he just sat down\u2026and listened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t stand it,\u201d Adam admitted. \u201cI can\u2019t stand him hurting so bad he can\u2019t even tell us. What in the world is going on with the kid?\u201d Ben leaned back in his chair. Behind him the mountains were splendid in their early summer apparel, with the snow still clinging to the mountainside, and the brilliant blue sky illuminating their beauty. Adam glanced at them, then set his gaze back to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam. I\u2019ve never seen Joe like this. Truth is, I don\u2019t think he knows what\u2019s wrong either. Hoss?\u201d Hoss was looking down at his empty plate. For once he was not hungry. Where he was, even he didn\u2019t know until Ben\u2019s voice reached him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u201d Looking up, he felt a little confused, then gave his father a lopsided smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Pa. Guess I was thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould we dare to ask?\u201d Adam wondered out loud. \u201cIf it wasn\u2019t about Little Joe, I don\u2019t want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse it was about Little Joe. The little feller\u2019s confused.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout what?\u201d Ben wondered. \u201cHe\u2019s home. He\u2019s safe. He has everything he had before. What\u2019s bothering him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t recollect he really knows. Aww he said he felt guilty that Warton shot ya, Pa, and hurt us so much, but I don\u2019t reckon that\u2019s the whole story. One thing about Little Brother is he keeps things ta his self till it eats him alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah? Well this time it\u2019s eating all of us alive,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cHe\u2019s actually lost weight since he came home. You can see it in his face and clothes. All he does is his chores during the day, then comes home and stares into the fireplace. He hasn\u2019t played a game of checkers with you, Hoss or asked me to read to him or play the guitar. He hasn\u2019t even asked Pa to go into town to the saloon or a dance. Three years ago, that\u2019s all he liked to do. He was always in to mischief.\u201d Hoss chuckled at Adam\u2019s last sentence. Ben had to laugh as well and Adam ended up joining them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell that about sums it up, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d Ben finished. \u201cJoe isn\u2019t getting into mischief. That does have to be a first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue Pa,\u201d Adam concurred. \u201cWhere Little Joe goes, trouble follows.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if it ain\u2019t trouble its usually some other disaster,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d forgotten how quick that boy could get himself into some scrape or another,\u201d Ben went on. Silence filled the room as each man was left to think of the Joe they had lost when he disappeared three years before and hadn\u2019t come home yet. None of them heard Joe standing by the credenza. Without a word or asking what they were talking about, the boy, his arm still in a cast abruptly turned and left, closing the door quietly behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat wouldn\u2019t I give for Joe to get into some mischief or lose his temper or object when Paul tells him he has to take it easy,\u201d Ben mused.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m saying,\u201d Adam told them. \u201cWe have to talk to him. We have to get him to confide in us what\u2019s eating him up in side.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe? Adam have ya been drinking or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss,\u201d Adam shot back. \u201cWe\u2019ve been patient long enough. If we\u2019re patient any longer that kid is going to either wither away and die or run away. I don\u2019t know which and frankly I don\u2019t want to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam,\u201d Ben hedged. \u201cMaybe he\u2019ll get it out of his system.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Adam exclaimed, throwing his napkin down on the table. At that minute they heard a horse galloping across the yard. As one the trio raced through the front door to see Joe riding Cochise at breakneck speed. Using only one hand, the boy was riding far too quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Adam asked, his fear written across his face. Ben nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go after him,\u201d Ben said. \u201cIf we\u2019re not back in a few hours, come after us.\u201d Hoss had already rushed to the barn where he was saddling Buck as if reading his father\u2019s thoughts. He was finishing saddling the horse, pulling the cinch tight when Ben walked in weary even though it was the beginning of the day.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, bring him home, okay?\u201d Hoss begged. Ben had no answer. With a pat on Hoss\u2019 broad shoulder, he mounted his horse, praying he wouldn\u2019t find his son lying dead along the road\u2026or lost where he could never be found.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Joe rode at a fast pace. What his family didn\u2019t know was that over the last three years he had become even more expert at riding, one handed or not. He had no fear as he rode, except for the tightness of his healing back and the slight pain in his casted arm. Cochise was his horse, and he knew the horse\u2019s movements by heart even if it had been years since he rode him. When he raced out of the yard, hurt by his father and brothers\u2019 words, not knowing he had heard only part of the conversation, he didn\u2019t have a destination in mind. Somehow, for the first time since he got home, he found himself at his mother\u2019s grave. Dismounting, tying Cochise\u2019s reins to a tree so the horse could graze easily. He used his bedroll to spread a blanket out on the still wet grass, and plopped himself down next to the grave.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa,\u201d he breathed, his eyes taking in the marker, a certain peace settling over him to his surprise. This was where he always came to talk when he was upset. In shock, Joe gazed on the monument that was next to his mother\u2019s. He read the inscription with a sinking feeling of dismay and hurt for Ben, Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph Francis Cartwright,
\n1842 to 1857
\nBeloved Son and Brother
\nWaiting at Heaven\u2019s Gates\u201d<\/p>\n

Still only eighteen, Joe almost cried at witnessing this tender monument. His guilt only grew tenfold at the sight. He had to force himself to think of his mama, to think of anything but his own tombstone. Looking out over the serene waters of Lake Tahoe, he strove to remember his mama\u2019s voice singing him to sleep at night, her loving arms cuddling him, her contagious energy infecting him until they were both helpless with laughter and good feelings. Her sudden death had left him as lost and alone as he had been these last years. Now he assumed his family was angry at him because he couldn\u2019t be the person he had been, that fifteen year old boy he had forgotten existed until he came home. Beyond that he had put them through hell with his early demise.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa, I don\u2019t know what to do,\u201d he whispered. \u201cI\u2019m so confused.\u201d He did something he hadn\u2019t done since he was a little boy missing the mama who had left him without saying good-bye. Lying down, he placed his body across the grave and sobbed, sobbed his heart out. So emotionally upset, the boy didn\u2019t see Ben ride up to the grave. For an undetermined period of time, Joe lay still, wishing he could be a little boy again, safe and secure in his mama\u2019s arms. But he knew Marie was long gone, that the person who helped him most, who loved him the most was the one he hadn\u2019t turned to since he came home, and he needed him so desperately, the word came out before he could stop it.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Oh Pa. Why did I blame you? It wasn\u2019t your fault, not any of it. I\u2019m sorry, Pa, I\u2019m so sorry. I was angry cause ya didn\u2019t keep the Indians from hurting me. You couldn\u2019t have done anything. If you had been with me, they would have killed ya. I\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d His wretched sobs wet the earth beneath him until gentle arms lifted him. With surprise, Joe saw that his father was holding him. Ben\u2019s chocolate colored eyes, glistening with their own tears told Joe he had heard his son\u2019s apology. No further words were necessary. Joe sobbed again, letting loose the pain and anger he had kept inside for so long. Ben rocked the boy back and forth, whispering soothing words, brushing back the errant curls over the boy\u2019s forehead. Ben\u2019s strength supported them both until finally the boy could cease his cries and control himself. Slowly he sat up, his face red, and slightly embarrassed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Pa,\u201d he apologized. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean ta cry so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d his father answered. \u201cIf you needed to cry I\u2019m glad I was here for you. What\u2019s a father for?\u201d To Ben\u2019s relief, a small smile crept over the boy\u2019s face. Joe looked down at his hand and casted arm, then back up at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I forgot,\u201d he admitted. \u201cSpose I owe you all an explanation for the time I was away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no you don\u2019t, Joe. You don\u2019t owe us anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam and Hoss said I was always getting into trouble, and they were right. If I hadn\u2019t cut school that day, I wouldn\u2019t have gotten into trouble in the first place.\u201d Ben sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, is that what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe admitted, finally glad to get his guilt off his chest. \u201cI\u2026well I wanted to show you how I could find that wolf we were looking for. Problem is, I got lost and the Bannocks got me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joseph,\u201d Ben cried hugging the boy again. \u201cDon\u2019t you know by now that I love you no matter what you do? Besides which, there\u2019s nothing, nothing you could do that would make you deserve the treatment you received from the Bannocks.\u201d Joe felt the tears again as the memories assaulted him. He shook himself. He was not going to cry again. But he was curious.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho told you, Pa? How did you know I\u2019d been captured?\u201d Ben closed his eyes, his own memories painful at best, torturous at worst. He didn\u2019t want to discuss this any more than Joe did, but his son deserved an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cSome women in the Bannock\u2019s camp were rescued by soldiers. They told the soldiers that you had been killed. We\u2026we thought you were dead.\u201d Ben\u2019s words were choked, his eyes filled with that loss, that agony that Joe had only seen a few times in his life when he or one of his brothers had been grievously injured. Joe knew his father loved him, loved him and his brothers more than anything in this world.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I made a bad mistake that day,\u201d he admitted. \u201cWhat wouldn\u2019t I give to take it back?\u201d Ben\u2019s silence spread out over several seconds until he could answer Joe wisely with words that brought comfort to the youngest Cartwright.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you\u2019re very young,\u201d Ben told him. \u201cThere will be many times in your life when you wish you could take a moment back in time, and you can\u2019t. You\u2019re like your mother that way, full of energy and impulses. That\u2019s what your brothers meant. Sometimes you act first and think later. They kind of missed that. So did I.\u201d For almost the first time a real smile came across Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s always scolding me ta use my head and not rush inta things. Don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve changed much. In fact I expect I was getting worse that day I pulled that gun on ya. I was having a kinda bad day.\u201d Ben laughed, unable to resist Joe\u2019s sheepish admission. The boy ducked his head and giggled.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean we can go home, Pa?\u201d he asked. For an answer, Ben stood. Joe stood with him. Ben put his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I think home is the best possible place we could go,\u201d he told him. Joe grinned with a happy smile. He turned to go to Cochise. Ben watched him, his heart overflowing with joy. Looking down at Marie, and marker next to her that had been their memorial to Joe, he spoke softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank-you, Marie. Thank you for bringing our son home to us. You gave him to me once and now you\u2019ve given him to me again. I hope this time, I don\u2019t let you down.\u201d<\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/p>\n

Joe snuggled under the covers, burrowing into the safety of his bed. For the first time since he came home, one of his brothers was going to come in and drag him out of bed, he was sure. He almost giggled hearing Hoss\u2019 footsteps lumbering down the hall. At the same time, he heard more footsteps, several pairs in fact. Still he was sleepy, so he kept his green eyes closed, enjoying the feel of his bed. How long had it been since he had appreciated a soft bed or had one for that matter. He couldn\u2019t remember. No one knocked on the bedroom door. Joe heard the wooden structure snake open. Smiling to himself, he remained where he was, safe and warm.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo ya think he\u2019s awake, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell if he isn\u2019t, he will be when we\u2019re done with him,\u201d Adam returned.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoys if you drop that tray, Hop Sing may just go back to China,\u201d Ben warned. Now Joe\u2019s curiosity was piqued. He lifted his head over the covers peeking to see his father and brothers walking across the floor with a tray. Quickly he buried his head in his pillow again.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Punkin. Yer awake. I saw ya,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you act like he\u2019s a little kid. Try it this way,\u201d Adam put in. He shook Joe\u2019s shoulders through the covers. \u201cTime to get up, Little Buddy, or else Hoss is going to eat your breakfast tray. Eggs, bacon, hotcakes, and coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben\u2019s voice caught Joe where it counted. Turning over, he rubbed his eyes sleepily as if he had just realized his family was in the room. All three men were fully dressed, ready for the day.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? Adam? Hoss? What are you doing here?\u201d He asked feigning confusion while pulling himself up on the bed. Ben and Adam sat on either side of his bed. Hoss leaned on the end of the wooden frame. Adam was holding a tray which he put on Joe\u2019s lap.<\/p>\n

\u201cBreakfast in bed? For me? What for?\u201d Joe\u2019s questions came out quick, making everyone laugh.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou better enjoy it, Joe,\u201d Adam warned. \u201cNow that you got your cast off, we\u2019re going to put you to work. This is your official welcome home party.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I thought we were going to have a party in a few weeks, around the 4th, Pa said.\u201d Joe objected. Ben grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll have a party then. This is just for you, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo we can get you out of bed and back to work,\u201d Adam insisted. Joe shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not, Short Shanks,\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I shore wish someone would bring me a breakfast tray,\u201d Hoss grumbled good naturedly. Joe giggled unable to help himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d Hoss growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa big Galoot. There aint a tray large enough to carry all the food you eat for breakfast or any other meal.\u201d In retaliation for the jibe, Hoss grabbed Joe\u2019s clothes from the day before carelessly thrown across the bed and threw them at his little brother.
\nAdam tickled Joe. Ben just watched. Adam\u2019s hazel eyes met his father\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t think you have to worry about this scamp any more, Pa. If he\u2019s up to taking on Hoss\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny time, Big Brother,\u201d Joe laughed some more. \u201cHe might be able to sit on me, but I got other ways to best both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSays who?\u201d This from Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, says who?\u201d Adam put in. Ben sat back watching his sons tease each other while Joe eat his breakfast. He didn\u2019t even correct Joe for talking in between bites. Joe was home. There was a long road ahead of them and issues to be addressed to help Joe settle in to the family again. Ben fervently hoped his son would never have to be as alone as he had been over the last three years. For the love of Little Joe, he certainly hoped not.
\n.<\/p>\n

~The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0When Little Joe is presumed dead and then shows up in Virginia City three years later, how will his past affect his future and how will lives be changed in finally bringing him home for good?<\/p>\n

Rated PG\u00a0 (27,180 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10662,"featured_media":10105,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,23,1008],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-drama","category-family","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2996,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6768,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6768","url_meta":{"origin":16275,"position":0},"title":"A Deadly Day (by rosecartwright)","author":"rosecartwright","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe is home sick, but things go downhill for this young Cartwright. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (635 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1393,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1393","url_meta":{"origin":16275,"position":1},"title":"To Be A Father (by KateP)","author":"KateP","date":"December 7, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe helps a friend of his father to know what it is to be a father. 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