{"id":16511,"date":"2017-04-22T11:50:14","date_gmt":"2017-04-22T15:50:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16511"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:41:12","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:41:12","slug":"the-long-way-home-by-questfan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16511","title":{"rendered":"The Long Way Home (by Questfan)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: My entry for the 2018 Camp in the Pines. At fifteen, Joe thinks he knows what it is to be a man. Unexpected events tip his ideas upside down and he finds the road home is a lot longer than he thought.<\/p>\n

Rating: T Word Count: 10856<\/p>\n

My words were: a singer, unrequited love, in surgery and after the roundup. A bonus fish from the pond (thanks to Angus stealing Puchi\u2019s bloomers) gave me the word kiss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Long Way Home<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss clenched his hand around the brush and kept on brushing down his sweat-streaked horse as if his life depended on it. Well, maybe it would be more honest to say that Little Joe\u2019s life depended on it because if he stopped, he might just use that same meaty fist and pound his little brother right into the ground. It wasn\u2019t like Hoss was easily riled, but lately it seemed that the youngest member of the family was bound and determined to act before thinking and in doing so, wind their pa up. That meant the effect always spilled over onto the rest of the family and quite frankly, Hoss was getting tired of it.<\/p>\n

For months, Joe had been working on his father to get him to agree he was old enough to finish school. By the time he had finally agreed, Joe had been fit to bust. It seemed his little brother had himself already figured as a man as he reached the ripe old age of fifteen and he had set out to prove it to everyone else, especially their pa. And next up, to ol\u2019 Adam. Except in everyone\u2019s eyes but his own, the kid was still just a kid. It didn\u2019t help that the hands ribbed him mercilessly about his skills or lack thereof. Hoss knew that he\u2019d come through it as both he and Adam had done before him, but Joe was different. His smaller stature was a source of torment to the boy and he found himself trying twice as hard to prove his point or show himself capable.<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed as he worked out the last of his short-lived anger and he gave Chub a long scratch up behind his ear. The horse responded with a snort and Hoss found his lips curling into a reluctant smile. It wasn\u2019t like Joe intended to get their pa riled up. Fact was, he was trying to get his pa\u2019s respect, but Hoss thought he was just trying too hard and needed to let it come, natural like. Hoss put the brush back where it belonged and reached for the bucket to fill it with a measure of oats. As he finished off the job, Hoss found himself musing over how he had managed to earn his pa\u2019s respect. It wasn\u2019t something he\u2019d given much thought to, but now that he did, he knew it was mighty important to him to have it. He knew how important it was to Joe too and he smiled to himself as he headed for the house. He had some figurin\u2019 to do on how to help Joe help himself and figurin\u2019 always made him hungry. Good thing that Hop Sing already had that roast beef on the way for dinner.<\/p>\n

\n

Ben watched as his youngest son slowly hauled himself up the stairs after only three games of checkers with Hoss. The usual spring in his step was missing and he knew the boy was aching. Not that Joe wanted to let anybody know that, but it was clear to all of them that he was exhausted. It had been less than four weeks since he had reluctantly agreed to let Joe finish up his studies. Adam had openly shared his thoughts that Joe was capable of more and as too often happened, his youngest barely took in his eldest\u2019s words and flared up with anger. It wasn\u2019t that he didn\u2019t agree that Joe was smart enough to take on a college education, but it was abundantly clear that the boy\u2019s interests lay outside of a schoolroom.<\/p>\n

Adam barely acknowledged Joe\u2019s departure and Ben wondered how they had fared for the second day in a row out on the fence line. The two had been decidedly cool towards each other over dinner and he had barely stopped himself from commenting on it. They needed to work out their new work arrangement themselves and he would stay out of it as long as the work was getting done in a timely manner. Of course, there were ways to check without letting on that he was checking and several of his trusted hands would subtly drop information as they felt necessary. As always, it was a juggling act in allowing Joe to find his feet while bringing correction or reining him in when required.<\/p>\n

Ben rubbed his hand along his jawline as he thought back on the last few weeks. Of his three sons, Joe was by far the most obstinate. While Adam could also dig his heels in, he had at least earned the right to stand his ground. His ideas were usually thoroughly thought through whereas Joe\u2019s were so often spur-of-the-moment. He had yet to earn his place among the hands and chafed under his older brother\u2019s direction. Ben glanced over to where Adam was supposedly reading a book and noted his eldest was not reading a thing. He seemed more focused on the flames in the fireplace and Ben felt his mouth twitch into a smile as he carefully weighed his words.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething on your mind, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

It took Adam a few seconds to look up at the sound of his father\u2019s voice and Ben knew he\u2019d guessed correctly. Hoss paused as he held the last of the checkers in his hand and almost held his breath. Adam\u2019s next words could cause his little brother a world of grief if he\u2019d managed to rile Adam again. He\u2019d also picked up on the tension between them and thought he had a fair idea what was behind it. He wasn\u2019t prepared at all for what actually came out.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head and closed his book. He had no idea what the pages said anyway. He\u2019d spent the last few hours trying to decide how he would handle what had happened earlier in the day and now his father\u2019s question hung between them. When he didn\u2019t reply, his father tried again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI noticed things were a little tense between you and Little Joe tonight. Anything I should know about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam felt himself caught between loyalty as a brother and wanting to protect Joe from himself. In the end, protection won out. He knew that Joe would consider it as a betrayal, but it wasn\u2019t something he could just ignore or hope would go away on its own.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I know that Joe needs to carry a gun, but \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy had been taught by all three of them to respect guns since he was old enough to pick one up. Safety had been drummed into him over and over. The Ponderosa was a big place and Ben fully understood that his boys needed to know how to defend themselves and despite some misgivings, had given Joe his first gun along with a strict lecture. He wasn\u2019t sure that Joe had been listening as his hands ran all over the finely crafted weapon. His felt his heart rate lift as Adam paused and he thought he knew what was coming next.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam twisted his fingers together and thought back to what had happened hours earlier. Joe was determined to be the quickest draw in Virginia City or even the whole of Nevada. Some months ago he\u2019d seen a professional gunslinger pull his pistol and twirl it around his finger before shooting another man down. Adam still felt his gut churn at the admiration on his younger brother\u2019s face at the man\u2019s skill and apparent lack of concern at another man\u2019s needless death. Of course, Joe had been suitably contrite about it after Adam gave him a dressing down, but nothing had settled his fear over that look on Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was practising his draw and he \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shifted forward in his seat and frowned at Adam\u2019s words. \u201cHe what?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam felt uncomfortable under his father\u2019s gaze and tried again. \u201cWe\u2019d taken a break to eat lunch and I went down to the creek to refill the canteens. Joe didn\u2019t hear me coming back and he \u2026 well he had his gun aimed at me \u2026 no \u2026 that\u2019s not fair \u2026 aimed in my direction when I came back out of the treeline.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam heard Hoss suck in a sharp breath as Ben\u2019s brow creased into more of a frown. There might be a difference in intent, but there would be no difference in outcome if Joe had fired and they all knew it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve warned him already about this fool idea he has. I didn\u2019t raise my sons to be gunslingers!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam began and found himself cut off by a wave of his father\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

Ben got up and walked across to the credenza where four gunbelts lay, neatly coiled up beside each other. He lifted the newest and shiniest one and pulled the Colt from the holster. He made sure that Joe had already emptied the chamber of its bullets before walking towards his chair with the pistol.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought he was ready for this responsibility, but it seems I was mistaken.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you can\u2019t \u2026\u201d Hoss stopped as his father looked up at him. Joe had begged for the right to carry a gun and it counted as a measure of his manhood as far as he was concerned. \u201cIt was his birthday gift!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can, Hoss and I just did! He has proven he\u2019s not ready for the responsibility yet. I will return it to him when he\u2019s earned my trust to carry it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rubbed his hand across his face, knowing full well that Joe would place the blame squarely on his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Adam. I will deal with the boy in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at his older brother and could almost read his thoughts. They had all agreed that Joe was a natural with a gun and it was a skill that needed to be refined since it needed no encouragement. Joe\u2019s enthusiasm and recklessness had led to enough arguments already and now he would see Adam as the reason he\u2019d been punished. Hoss was once again very glad he wasn\u2019t wearing Adam\u2019s boots!<\/p>\n

\n

The previous five days felt like five weeks. Adam had endured his brother\u2019s fury as Joe had raged at him and then refused to speak to him unless absolutely necessary. Pa had put a stop to it all three days earlier by loudly threatening a trip to the barn and Joe had been horrified to realise his father actually meant it. All his hard work to be counted a man had been undone in five minutes as Adam had been all too keen to undermine him. Adam may have tried to weasel his way out of it, but Joe knew better. His older brother was always right and he enjoyed proving himself when Joe was apparently always wrong. He allowed the thoughts to stew in his gut as he rode along behind Adam and occasionally favoured his older brother with hateful glares. Of course, Adam didn\u2019t bother to turn around in the saddle even once so had no idea of the looks he was attracting. Or perhaps he did and had no wish to see them.<\/p>\n

The worst part, as far as Joe was concerned, was the humiliation that was coming once they reached town. He\u2019d been only too keen to show off his new pearl-handled Colt and hand-tooled holster and gunbelt. Riding to town without it was akin to riding in buck naked. Somebody would be sure to ask about it and he would have to think of something to explain its absence. Not that Adam cared. Adam didn\u2019t think he\u2019d been old enough to wear it in the first place. Adam thought he still belonged in school, like a child! Adam held sway with Pa and Joe obviously didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

If it hadn\u2019t been for Pa\u2019s insistence that he take Joe with him, Adam would have gladly left his brother behind. He could see through his father\u2019s plan and knew that somehow he needed to make peace with Joe, but he had no idea how to do that. He could certainly understand Joe\u2019s anger at having his pistol taken from him, but Adam couldn\u2019t shake the fear that Joe would get himself into trouble with it. He recognised his brother\u2019s raw talent and knew that it could be used, along with Joe\u2019s sizable ego to goad him into doing something foolish. Adam barely held back a muttered oath as he knew just how easily his brother could find himself in a no-win situation, facing a gun he couldn\u2019t outshoot. It was a fear his father had shared one night as he debated giving Joe his birthday gift. For the moment at least, Joe had some time to grow up before he would be allowed to carry another weapon.<\/p>\n

As he pulled up alongside the hitching rail, Adam turned towards Joe. Pa had already given the boy a list of instructions, but Adam wanted to try again to declare a truce.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about we get these jobs done and meet back at Miss Daisy\u2019s for some pie?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a treat that would normally have had Joe grinning, but he wasn\u2019t interested in spending any more time in town than he needed to. The longer he was there, the more chance he\u2019d run into someone who would ask about his missing holster and gun.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got chores to do before dinner. Can\u2019t be seen to be slacking off, can I now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed as Joe swung down from the saddle and flung his reins over the hitching rail. \u201cSuit yourself then. I\u2019ll be down at the bank when you\u2019ve finished.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was half way down the boardwalk before Adam dismounted from his horse. He reached into his saddlebag and pulled out the wad of papers his father had given him earlier. There was a still a lot of work to be done to convince the bank to fund his father\u2019s latest plan, but both of them were confident it would come through. Adam pushed aside his misgivings about Joe and plastered on a confident face as he headed for the bank. Joe and his sour attitude would keep until later.<\/p>\n

Over the next hour or so, Joe managed to get the jobs done on his list and he stuffed the piece of paper back into his top pocket. He knew his father gave Hoss and Adam written instructions from time to time, but still, it felt like he was back in school as he ticked off the chores. One day \u2026 one day he would be counted in the same manner as his brothers. One day his pa would see he was a man too. Joe kicked at a rock as he crossed the street and made his way towards the bank. That day wasn\u2019t today!<\/p>\n

Harrison Warlow had been in Virginia City for less than three months, but he already knew the Cartwrights generally made for a good investment. He had spent the better part of forty minutes reading through the information that Adam had brought in with him and he could feel the young man\u2019s eyes on him as he finished up. He wasn\u2019t about to give anything away as he was still proving himself to the bank board. It wasn\u2019t like he wanted to waste bank money on a project with no legs.<\/p>\n

Adam barely managed to keep his impatience to himself as he watched the man reading and re-reading the paperwork. His father had already been into town twice to review the application and he knew that Warlow was just being thorough. Still, he needed to be done and on his way home some time before sundown.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, there\u2019s just a couple of calculations I need to do so why don\u2019t you take a seat outside and I\u2019ll be out shortly?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam swallowed down the annoyance he felt as he knew the calculations had been done in full, several times over.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d He twisted his hat through his fingers as he made his way out from the manager\u2019s office and nodded as he saw Joe coming through the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything done?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled as he pointed to a bench near the door. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t be too much longer. How about you wait over there?\u201d<\/p>\n

He watched as Joe seated himself on the bench and folded his arms across his chest. He debated sitting down alongside the boy, but quickly realised that Joe wouldn\u2019t appreciate it. Instead, he moved across the room and leaned up against the closed teller\u2019s booth. It was a quiet day and only one teller was open. Adam smiled across at Sarah and tipped his hat. She nodded shyly as she continued with her work and tried to concentrate on her additions.<\/p>\n

Adam was about to go and knock on the manager\u2019s door when the main door swung open and three men strode in. If the bandanas pulled up across their faces didn\u2019t alert him, the drawn guns certainly did. He glanced across at Joe and tried to warn the boy to stay put. He didn\u2019t need Joe making an impulsive move and jeopardising them all. For his part, Joe\u2019s hands clenched around the bench seat and he looked as if he was ready to spring forward.<\/p>\n

The leader of the trio stepped forward with his gun pointed squarely at Adam\u2019s chest. \u201cHand over that gun of yours, real slow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam carefully drew his gun from its holster and turned it butt-first before reaching towards the man. It was snatched out of his grasp and the man shoved it into the back of his gunbelt before turning and surveying the rest of the room. He caught sight of Joe and waved his gun towards him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou there, you don\u2019t move a muscle!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glared at him, but thankfully kept his mouth shut.<\/p>\n

The second of the three men had already moved to cover the door and was watching the street outside through the window. He eased the blind down and kept the muzzle of his gun between the blind and the glass.<\/p>\n

Adam found himself being forced back from the teller\u2019s booth as the third man threw a sack towards Sarah.<\/p>\n

\u201cFill it up and hurry up about it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Sarah\u2019s hand shook as she picked up the burlap sack and began to pull notes from the tray beneath the bench. She glanced across at Adam and he smiled at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust do what they said. It\u2019s going to be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up, you!\u201d The man growled at him as he waved his gun in Adam\u2019s face. \u201cOr I\u2019m gonna shut you up!\u201d<\/p>\n

When he finally found the courage to replay the events later, Joe knew that that was the moment when it all went to hell. Sarah screamed as she saw Adam was about to be shot. Joe pushed off from the bench and grasped desperately at Adam\u2019s gun from the man\u2019s belt. He was wrong-footed as he lurched forward and took aim at the second man\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t supposed to go that way.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t supposed to at all.<\/p>\n

Somebody was shouting something as he stumbled closer to his brother. Joe couldn\u2019t feel his fingers as they instinctively squeezed the trigger. He saw the man in front of him dive sideways and he felt his heart stop as Adam fell back and slumped against the wall. He tried to call out, but the words choked in his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou stupid kid! You done got him killed!\u201d<\/p>\n

The words echoed around him as Joe stared at Adam, desperately willing him to move. Instead he felt fingers dig into his shoulder and he found himself looking up into an irate face as a fist slammed into his jaw. He stumbled backwards and sagged onto the floor.<\/p>\n

The lookout at the door was shouting something about the sheriff and the first man had pushed Sarah out of the way to finish filling the sack.<\/p>\n

Joe felt an arm snake around his neck and haul him to his feet as he watched events unfolding as if he was watching a dream. Only it wasn\u2019t a dream. It was a nightmare and nobody was going to come and turn up the lamp and shake him awake.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou there \u2026 open up that safe!\u201d<\/p>\n

He watched as the new bank manager shuffled across the room; a pistol aimed at his back. Voices from outside told him that Roy had arrived, but that didn\u2019t matter. Joe stared across the room at Adam and felt hot tears trailing down his cheeks. His brother was dead and it was all his fault.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cNow Ben, you gotta calm down and listen to me!\u201d Roy grasped at his friend\u2019s arm and tried to get him to stand still.<\/p>\n

Ben shook Roy\u2019s hand off his arm and glared at him. \u201cYou said it was the Davis gang.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, those three have been robbing banks from here to California!\u201d He sagged against the nearest chair and leaned on the back of it. \u201cHow could you just let them take Joe with them?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sheriff sucked in a sharp breath and tried again. \u201cBen, it weren\u2019t like I had much choice in the matter. That oldest one, Seb, he had Little Joe and threatened to shoot him in the head iffn we didn\u2019t let them through.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019d have done it too, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned back towards the new bank manager who had been sitting at Paul\u2019s table with a cloth wrapped around his head. The blood trail that had oozed out from under it had finally stopped, but the headache had not eased one bit and he reached tentative fingers up behind his neck to massage at the muscle.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019d already shot Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glared at the man as the last of his adrenaline-fuelled anger faded into fear. He looked towards the closed door and wondered again how long it would be before Paul would come and tell them what was happening. It had been almost three hours since a renowned gang of bank robbers had shot up the bank and escaped by using his youngest son as a shield to stop Roy and his deputy from doing their job.<\/p>\n

Roy stepped forward and tried again. \u201cBen, we got a posse ready to go and we\u2019ll find Little Joe and bring him back.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stopped short of making a promise he knew he would be hard-pressed to keep. Before Ben could answer him, Hoss eased in beside his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa \u2026 I\u2019m gonna ride with the posse and you stay here\u2019n take care of Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was easy to misjudge the young man and mistake him for someone much older than his twenty-one years, but Roy recognised the resolve in his eyes. He wouldn\u2019t quit until he brought his brother home \u2013 one way or the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss \u2026 you can\u2019t \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben reached out to the only son he still could and gripped onto his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa \u2026 Little Joe needs me to help find him and Adam needs you right here when he wakes up.\u201d It was such a matter-of-fact statement that Ben could not argue with him. Hoss\u2019 tracking skills were well known in the region and the posse needed his son out there. Finally he simply nodded and watched as Hoss and Roy headed for the door. \u201cI promise I\u2019ll bring him back, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben slid down into the chair and dropped his head into his hands. As much as he tried to banish the thought, he wondered if he was going to lose both of his sons before the day was through.<\/p>\n

\n

Paul walked over towards the basin and dipped his hands into the tepid water. He watched as dried blood mingled with the water and it swirled around the basin. There was far too much blood on his hands and he sighed as he reached for the towel. The bullet had gone in deep and it had taken far too long in surgery<\/strong> for him to dig it out. As he turned back towards his patient, he sent up a silent plea for help. He\u2019d done all he knew how to do and now he needed God to do his part.<\/p>\n

By the time he had cleared away the bloodied instruments and tidied up the area, he glanced up to check the time. It had been over three and a half hours since two men had carried Adam into his office and dropped him onto the bed with no further explanation other than someone had shot him. The black shirt had served to initially hide the amount of blood and he was acutely aware of just how close his patient had come to bleeding out. He looked towards the door and took a moment to pull his shoulders back and square up to facing the family he knew would be outside.<\/p>\n

As the door to the clinic swung open, Ben leaped to his feet. \u201cPaul? How is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor walked out and pulled the door closed behind him. He looked around the room and was surprised to see the only other occupant was Harrison Warlow. Someone had wrapped a makeshift bandage around the man\u2019s head, but before he could say anything about it, Ben was right in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor reached a hand out towards his friend and gripped onto his shoulder. \u201cHe\u2019s alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

He felt the tension under his fingers and he hurried on.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s lost a lot of blood, but I got the bullet out and tied off the bleeder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I see him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, but \u2026\u201d Paul paused as he looked towards the outer door. \u201cDo the boys know what\u2019s happened? Where are they?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded without speaking and Paul felt his gut constrict. Something was very wrong if they weren\u2019t there too with their father, waiting for news on their brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss rode out with the posse half an hour ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPosse?\u201d<\/p>\n

Harrison cleared his throat as he heard the doctor\u2019s unspoken question. \u201cThe bank was robbed. They took Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul felt his fingers tighten on his friend\u2019s shoulder. He didn\u2019t need to say anything as there was nothing that would help so he pointed towards the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s check on Adam while we wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben moved slowly towards the other room, as if afraid of what he might find. He felt Paul\u2019s calm presence beside him as he caught his first glimpse of his son. Adam\u2019s skin was pale even against the white sheet and he had to move closer to assure himself that his boy was even breathing. He reached out to take hold of the closest hand and wrapped his fingers around Adam\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to be just fine, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul patted his shoulder once again as he headed out to the other room to check on his other patient and to find out what on Earth had happened.<\/p>\n

\n

Joe had no idea which way the men were riding and to be honest, he didn\u2019t much care. The one he was sharing a horse with had dragged him from the bank with a gun pressed against his throat while the whole town stood and watched. Roy had said something to him as he shuffled past. Something about it all being okay. But Roy didn\u2019t know what he knew. Roy had yet to walk into the bank and find his brother\u2019s body and have to share that news with their pa. Which would be followed by the even worse news that it was Joe\u2019s bullet that had killed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Seb! We gotta stop and check on Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t bother to look behind him to know who was speaking. He felt the horse beneath him being pulled up and an elbow in his chest shoved him backwards over the animal\u2019s rump.<\/p>\n

The last of the day\u2019s light was fading as he lay on the ground and stared up at the sky. Boots walked past his head and he heard voices nearby, but couldn\u2019t find the energy to focus on what they were saying. Mutters turned into heated argument and finally Joe rolled onto his side to see two of the men arguing. The third sat slumped against a log and he vaguely wondered why.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta get that bullet out of him, soon! He\u2019s bleedin\u2019 real bad, Seb.\u201d<\/p>\n

The eldest of the three brothers paced back and forth as he watched Bart try to wrap a makeshift bandage around his other brother\u2019s waist. He crouched down in front of Will and poked at his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gotta hold on. We\u2019ll get you to the doc soon and you\u2019ll be just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

It sounded like something Hoss would say and Joe groaned and rolled away from the brothers before slowly climbing to his feet. Somebody must have got off a shot as they were leaving town, but he didn\u2019t really recall much of it anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeb, we gotta get movin\u2019 and that kid\u2019s just slowin\u2019 us down! We don\u2019t need him no more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe heard the threat in the words, but couldn\u2019t summon the energy to care. He watched as Seb hoisted his youngest brother to his feet and heard the young man groan in pain. Bart snagged his horse\u2019s reins and climbed up into the saddle before reaching down to pull his brother towards him. Will moaned again as his brother hoisted him upward and Bart wrapped his arms around him.<\/p>\n

Seb hurried to his own horse and swung up into the saddle. He turned to where Joe still stood in the dirt and he drew his pistol from its holster. The sun had dropped below the horizon and the last streaks of red and purple lit the sky behind him as he pointed it straight towards the boy in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shoulda stayed put when I told you to, kid!\u201d<\/p>\n

Something stirred in Joe and he felt his feet moving before his thoughts caught up with them. He heard a bullet ping off the rocks near his head as he scrambled away, quickly followed by another one.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeb! We gotta go! The kid\u2019s gonna die out here without no water anyhow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe felt his boots slipping on the rocks as he bolted away, but thankfully no more bullets came after him.<\/p>\n

\n

Ben found himself nodding off as he slumped lower into the chair. It had been close to two days since Hoss had ridden out with the posse and so far there had been no news. He couldn\u2019t shake the fear that his youngest son was already dead, having served his purpose to get the gang clear of the town. Paul had been close by for the two days since he had dug a bullet out of Adam\u2019s chest and Ben was profoundly grateful for his friendship as well as his doctoring skills. He was beginning to find some hope that Adam just might come through after all, but his son still hadn\u2019t woken up. The colour of his skin had changed from a bluish tinge to a more lifelike shade and it was a good sign. Still, it had been far too close for comfort.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was little more than a whisper and Ben jolted upright to see Adam watching him from drowsy eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy, Son. You\u2019re going to be just fine.\u201d He smiled as he edged closer and reached out to pat his son\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat \u2026 happened?\u201d It was clearly an effort to speak and Ben tried to keep his face calm as he responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t matter at the moment. You need to rest and we\u2019ll talk then.\u201d He reached across for the pitcher beside the bed and filled it with water. By the time Adam had taken a few sips, his energy had dissipated and he was once again asleep.<\/p>\n

Ben watched as he son\u2019s features eased in sleep and he prayed that by the time he had to have that conversation, he\u2019d have good news to share.<\/p>\n

\n

Hoss paused outside the doctor\u2019s office and chewed at his bottom lip. His pa wasn\u2019t going to like what he had to say since he\u2019d returned to Virginia City without his little brother as he\u2019d promised. Still, the good news was that they hadn\u2019t found a body. He pushed the door open and strode in with a confidence he didn\u2019t feel.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d He knew Adam couldn\u2019t have been moved yet and would still be in the doc\u2019s side room, unless \u2013 well unless just didn\u2019t bear thinking about so he kept going and tried again. \u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou found him?\u201d Ben stepped through the door, anticipating his son wouldn\u2019t have returned without his brother in tow.<\/p>\n

\u201cAhh \u2026 no, Pa.\u201d Hoss twisted his hat through his fingers and ducked his head. \u201cBut we found them bank robbers, Pa and Little Joe was okay when they left him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? When they left him?\u201d Ben reached for his son\u2019s shoulder and tried not to frown as he repeated his words.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Pa \u2026 seems one of them fellas had a bullet in his back and they had to stop. By the time we caught up with them, he was already dead. Bled out in the saddle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben wasn\u2019t particularly concerned about the state of a dead bank robber. \u201cWhere was Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, them two brothers gave up pretty quick when we got them surrounded and they told us how Joe ran off when they stopped some time earlier. Said they didn\u2019t know where he was.\u201d Hoss\u2019 voice trailed away as he looked up at his father. \u201cWe brought them two fellas back and I\u2019m just gonna grab some more supplies and head back out and find him, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed as he saw his son\u2019s distress. \u201cI\u2019m coming with you. We\u2019ll find him, Hoss. We have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stared at his father, trying to determine if his father was leaving because Adam was better or if he \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Adam doin\u2019?\u201d Hoss chewed at his lip as he waited for an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been awake a few times, but he\u2019s sleeping now. Paul says he going to be just fine, with plenty of rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss smiled as he let out his breath. \u201cCan I see him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded as he patted his son\u2019s shoulder again. \u201cOf course. He\u2019ll be glad to see you, but just don\u2019t say anything about Joe yet. Paul says he doesn\u2019t need the added stress.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean he don\u2019t know Joe\u2019s missin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo and I don\u2019t intend to tell him either.\u201d Ben shook his head as if Hoss was going to argue with him. \u201cLet\u2019s find Joe and then Adam doesn\u2019t need to be worrying about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, well I\u2019m going to see Roy and I\u2019ll be back shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Hoss headed in to see how his other brother was faring, he wondered how he was going to keep such a secret from him. Adam didn\u2019t miss much and Hoss knew he had a terrible poker face.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, older brother. Pa says you\u2019re gonna be just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shifted against the pillow and tried to nod his head. If only it wasn\u2019t so hard to move and his head didn\u2019t feel like the worst hangover he\u2019d ever had.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood \u2026 to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam slowly reached a hand towards his brother. \u201cWhat\u2019s \u2026 happened \u2026 to Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss frowned and looked at his feet as he tried to think of something to say. Adam grasped at his arm and tried again.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeard \u2026 you \u2026 and Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was pointless trying to lie and he knew it.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s missin’. Them fellas that robbed the bank took him to get themselves outta town. The posse found them and they said they dumped Joe somewhere so Pa and me \u2026. we\u2019re headin\u2019 back out soon to find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was battling to keep his eyes open as he nodded. \u201cThen get \u2026 going. Joe \u2026 doesn\u2019t \u2026 like \u2026 to wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned at his brother\u2019s weak joke. Joe was the most impatient person they knew.<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t want to make little brother mad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss straightened up and headed for the door before turning back. Adam was already asleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m bringin\u2019 him back. I promise!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Joe tugged his jacket up around his neck and looked up at the sky. It was a another cold morning, but hopefully the day would warm up as the sun rose higher. His feet ached and his belly grumbled in complaint. The small stream of water he\u2019d found the night before had slaked his thirst, but it had been nearly two days with no food other than a few mesquite beans he\u2019d snagged along the way. It was Hoss who\u2019d shown him the beans and he\u2019d laughed about them being cow food. But beggars couldn\u2019t be choosers and he was glad he\u2019d listened to his older brother\u2019s wisdom. The thought of Hoss brought tears to his eyes as he imagined his brother learning what had happened in the bank. His brother who had always been so protective of him would soon change his tune once he knew what had gone down. Joe shook his head at the ugly memory of Adam falling silently to the floor and he scrubbed a hand across his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry!\u201d<\/p>\n

It had become a litany and he\u2019d said it so many times in the last two days that he was sick of his own voice.<\/p>\n

Sorry don\u2019t always fix things.<\/em><\/p>\n

How many times had Hoss told him that one after he\u2019d done something stupid? He\u2019d never really taken it in until now. Somehow he\u2019d always managed to get around things with charm and a ready apology, but not this time. This time, nothing would fix things.<\/p>\n

Joe stumbled along the road he\u2019d found with no idea of where it led. There had been no sign of horses or wagons and he figured it wasn\u2019t a very well-used track. It didn\u2019t matter anyway. Where was he supposed to go when he couldn\u2019t even begin to think of facing his father?<\/p>\n

It would be another couple of hours before he saw the smoke. Somewhere up ahead was a cabin or a campfire. As he wandered over the crest of a hill, he saw the homestead come into view. It was small with only one outer building. The fences looked like they\u2019d seen better days. Joe sucked in a breath and headed towards the front door. No matter what else, he needed food and was prepared to trade off some work for it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold it right there!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stopped before he reached the first step to the porch and found a rifle pointing at him through an open window. He instinctively raised his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not armed. I don\u2019t want no trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

The front door slowly swung open and a man stepped through, still holding the rifle aimed at his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho are ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t dare drop his arms. \u201cUmm \u2026 my name\u2019s Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to ya? Where\u2019s ya horse?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders as he wondered how to answer that. \u201cI got thrown. I\u2019m lost and \u2026 well I was wondering if I could do some work for you for a meal?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man lowered his rifle as he eyed up the scruffy kid in front of him. Emma wouldn\u2019t have ever said no to a stranger in need. He pointed to the side of the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s water \u2018round there. Ya can wash up before ya eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe licked at his dry lips and nodded as he slowly lowered his hands. The man disappeared inside and he headed for the water trough. It felt good to scrub off some of the dirt and he wiped his hands down his pants as he headed back inside.<\/p>\n

The cabin was small and sparsely furnished. What was there may have been old, but it was well made. There were no female touches and Joe felt a sudden wave of homesickness as he recalled how much of his mother still graced his home. Not that it would ever feel like home again.<\/p>\n

The man dropped a tin plate on the table in front of him with a couple of eggs and a scoop of beans beside it.<\/p>\n

\u201cCoffee\u2019s on the stove.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked around for a mug and poured himself a coffee before sliding into the seat. Pa had always expected they wait for everyone to be seated before starting to eat, but his hunger got the better of him as he hoed into the eggs. Joe barely noticed as the man sat down across from him and began eating his own breakfast.<\/p>\n

\u201cName\u2019s Jacob.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Jacob. I appreciate the food.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jacob grinned at him as he watched the kid wolf down the plateful. \u201cCan see that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Six days had come and gone as the men tracked back and forth across the same ground. The two remaining bank robbers had insisted that his son was still alive last time they saw him, but Ben recognised desperate men when he saw them. To admit to killing the boy would put a noose around their necks.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Pa. Let\u2019s go see how Adam\u2019s doin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss watched as his father stared at Joe\u2019s horse safely tucked in her place in the barn. They had brought her back the day before when Paul had finally agreed it was safe for Adam to be taken home. Ben jolted at his son\u2019s voice and turned towards the house. He still had another son who needed him.<\/p>\n

Adam was awake when he heard boots on the stairs and he tried to shift upwards in the bed. He pulled a face at the pain, but managed to contain the groan by clenching his jaw tightly. Paul had told him he\u2019d had to dig deep for the bullet and he would be feeling the effect of the surgery for some time to come. He badly wanted one of the pain draughts sitting on the bedside table, but he wouldn\u2019t touch it until he\u2019d spoken with his father.<\/p>\n

The door swung open and he knew without asking that they\u2019d had no success. Hoss trailed in behind his father and the two of them looked wrung out.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head as he sat down beside the bed. Adam had been rehashing the events of that day and still couldn\u2019t piece things together. The last clear memory he had was the man closest to him aiming the gun his way and threatening to shoot him before somebody screamed. He assumed it was Sarah, but after that there was nothing. Somehow he\u2019d lost his little brother in the mayhem and he had no idea how.<\/p>\n

The one thing that was crystal clear to him about that day was the fact Joe was so angry with him. There was so much he needed to say. So much he wished he could make Joe understand. He\u2019d give his right arm to have taken Joe for that piece of pie instead of being in the bank. He\u2019d lectured his little brother about so many things and all he wanted was another chance to tell the kid \u2026 Adam shuddered as he thought on what he would say. After all his lectures on being a man and growing up, Joe was still just a kid and he wondered if he\u2019d ever get a chance to grow up.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon? Are you in pain?\u201d Ben reached for Adam\u2019s arm as he saw his son flinch.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fine.<\/p>\n

None of them were fine and none of them would be until he brought his youngest son home. He just didn\u2019t know where to look next.<\/p>\n

\n

Jacob watched as the kid saddled up a horse. He clearly could have done it with his eyes closed. Somebody had taught him well and he wondered again just where he\u2019d come from. So far, he only had a first name and the kid held his cards close to his chest. Couldn\u2019t blame him really.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ready yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cComing!\u201d<\/p>\n

He almost laughed as the kid swung up into the saddle. Oh, the energy of youth! Jacob tugged at his own horse\u2019s reins and wondered briefly just where his own youth had gone.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta get up to the herd today and bring down the calves for branding.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe had seen the brands packed in the saddlebags, but he didn\u2019t recognise them. He held back a sigh as he knew it would soon be branding time on the Ponderosa. Not that he was allowed to do anything more than round up the cattle. Nobody deemed him old enough to wrestle a calf to the ground and place the pine brand on its rump. That was a job for the men and he was just a kid. A stupid kid!<\/p>\n

Joe tried to shake off the raw emotion as he followed Jacob along the trail. The Ponderosa would be one man down for this branding. He knew that Pa would get one of the hands to replace Adam on the job and anybody could ride the roundup. Guilt stabbed at his gut as he rode along and he tried to shift his thoughts to the work of the day.<\/p>\n

Jacob had agreed to bunk and beans until after roundup<\/strong> with a vague maybe after that. It seemed he had already hired on a couple of part-time hands and they were already up with the herd. By the time they arrived at the northern end of Jacob\u2019s small ranch, he could see the herd and the hands milling around. They barely acknowledged him as Jacob made the introductions and he was just fine with that. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to anybody.<\/p>\n

\n

Two days of hard work kept Joe from having to talk with anyone for any more than the basics. Nobody had time for chatter as they roped, wrangled and branded the calves. The men had no interest in the new kid beyond wondering if he was up to the job. He looked kinda scrawny, but he soon proved he could pull his weight.<\/p>\n

The second night, as they lay stretched out around the campfire, one of them decided it was time to start asking questions about how old he was and where he\u2019d come from. Joe had no idea why he was suddenly so interested, but it soon slipped out.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo kid, you still ain\u2019t told us what your last name is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt don\u2019t matter.\u201d Joe huddled into his bedroll and prayed they would stop with the questions.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt does when there\u2019s a reward out for ya. Assumin\u2019 you\u2019re the one on the poster I saw in town the other day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Both Joe and Jacob sat bolt upright and his new boss pointed a finger his way. \u201cThe law\u2019s after you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed down a gulp as he considered what Roy may have done.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! I haven\u2019t done anything!\u201d<\/p>\n

None of them missed the tone in his voice as it rose a couple of notches. Joe felt a sense of panic rising as he wondered about the poster. It was an accident! An awful, undoable accident. Roy must know that!<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t say you had.\u201d The hand who\u2019d first begun to prod was leaning on his elbow and staring at the kid across the fire.<\/p>\n

Jacob had hired the two itinerant hands for the last couple of seasons, but he only knew them as competent employees and not much more.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what are you saying, Mac? What reward? What poster?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mac ignored Jacob\u2019s question and continued to stare at Joe. \u201cI only just put it together tonight. Your name\u2019s Cartwright, ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe gulped like a fish out of water and the man just nodded at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was an accident! I didn\u2019t mean it!\u201d Joe pushed himself out of his bedroll and staggered back from the fire. His heart was pounding as he recalled that awful day he\u2019d tried so hard to bury.<\/p>\n

Jacob was somehow in front of him and reaching for his arms as Joe floundered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was an accident?\u201d<\/p>\n

The kid looked like he was going to throw up. Jacob tried again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what was an accident?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked up with tears welling in his eyes. \u201cI killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The words were not much more than a whisper and he wasn\u2019t sure he\u2019d heard correctly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho? You killed who?”<\/p>\n

\u201cMy brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy God!\u201d Jacob grasped at Joe\u2019s arms as the kid sagged to his knees. Jacob took a moment to pull himself together and tried to get some sense out of the boy. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared at him as he saw something in the older man\u2019s face. He\u2019d expected judgement and all he saw was compassion. Not that he deserved it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey were robbing the bank and Adam \u2026 he told me to stay put. They took his gun off him and \u2026 and one of them was gonna shoot him. I couldn\u2019t just sit there and watch them shoot my brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCourse not.\u201d One of the men across from him agreed vehemently. If only he\u2019d listened to Adam and stayed where he was, it could have turned out so differently. They could have taken the money and ridden away with no casualties. But he had to prove he knew better than Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI grabbed the gun and tried to shoot one of the robbers \u2026 but \u2026 but I missed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice gave out on him as he buried his face in his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you can\u2019t \u2026\u201d Jacob stopped as he struggled for something to say. \u201cSo you ran away?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. They took me with them to get out of town without the posse following them. I got away when they stopped.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jacob stared at the bowed head in front of him. \u201cThen why didn\u2019t ya say somethin\u2019 before? Your family must be worried sick!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head shot up. \u201cI can\u2019t go home! I can\u2019t \u2026 I can\u2019t face my pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour pa put up a thousand dollar reward for you. Sounds to me like he wants you to come home.\u201d Mac had seen the poster and not given much thought to it other than thinking that was a whole lot of money. He\u2019d heard of the Cartwrights and knew the old man could afford it, but still, it was a huge reward.<\/p>\n

Joe stared at the man, barely taking in what he was saying.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a lot of money, kid. Even for Ben Cartwright!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed down the bile in his mouth and tried to focus on what was being said. Pa had posted a reward for his return. He felt Jacob\u2019s grip on his arm and he tried to clear his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow it seems to me that you can keep runnin\u2019 or you can face up to what\u2019s happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

You need to face up to your choices, Joe. <\/em><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s voice echoed in his thoughts. How often had he tried to make Joe see there were consequences to actions? He\u2019d been trying so hard to prove to everyone that he was a man. Pa said a man took responsibility for his own actions and he\u2019d run away from them. He owed Adam that much at least.<\/p>\n

\n

Hop Sing brought a fresh pot of coffee and a cup and placed the tray on the table in front of Adam. He was pleased to see his patient out of bed and sitting up in his chair by the fire, if only for a few hours. It was all Paul would allow, but it was a turn in the right direction. He frowned when he recalled the way Adam had argued about helping to look for his brother and his father\u2019s firm rejection of that idea.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded his thanks and closed the book he\u2019d been trying to read. It didn\u2019t matter what he tried, his thoughts would not stay focused on the page. He couldn\u2019t recall much of the story except for something about an opera singer<\/strong> and a stage hand who had fallen in love with her. His social class meant he would never have half a chance with her. Adam found his mind wandering as he considered the injustice of class structure. Unrequited love<\/strong> was just a small part of a much bigger picture of injustice.<\/p>\n

Justice.<\/p>\n

He snorted in frustration as he put the coffee cup back down. What kind of justice saw two bank robbers locked up and being fed three square meals a day while his kid brother could be dead in an unmarked grave somewhere? Just because they hadn\u2019t found any sign of one, didn\u2019t mean there wasn\u2019t one. As each day passed with no word, hope was beginning to fade.<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t hear the horses in the yard as his thoughts were miles away, but Hop Sing hurried towards the front door. He expected to see father and son returning and frowned when he saw a strange horse instead. He didn\u2019t recognise the man who climbed down from it, but he couldn\u2019t contain a shout as Little Joe stepped out from behind the stranger\u2019s horse.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled himself up from the chair and hurried towards the door. He grabbed at his holster as he passed the credenza, but pulled up short as he saw who it was.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d<\/p>\n

His little brother was standing on the edge of the verandah, his mouth gaping open.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! But \u2026 how?\u201d<\/p>\n

It took only three short strides before Adam grasped hold of his brother and pulled him towards him. He felt Joe\u2019s arms wrap around his back and he held onto the kid as if his life depended on it.<\/p>\n

Somewhere behind him, Hop Sing was rambling something he couldn\u2019t understand, but he got the gist of it. He felt the same way. Finally Adam pulled back and grasped at Joe\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay? Where have you been?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared at him as if he\u2019d gone mute.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been at my ranch. Up by Blackwater. I\u2019m Jacob Hurley.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked over at the man standing behind Joe. He looked to be in his fifties or so.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLookin\u2019 mighty fine there for a corpse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned at the man\u2019s comment. Joe still had a grip on his arms and he felt his brother\u2019s hands clench tighter.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought \u2026 Adam \u2026 I \u2026.\u201d Joe was struggling to speak and Adam turned towards the door, while pulling him inside. Joe wouldn\u2019t let go of his arm as he tugged his younger brother towards the sofa. Before he could ask, Hop Sing appeared with a glass of brandy and Adam thrust it into his brother\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cDrink that, Joe. It\u2019ll help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jacob had followed them into the room and he watched as Adam helped his brother drink the brandy.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe kid said you was a dead man. Said he shot you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked up to see the stranger watching him closely. \u201cI was shot, but not by Joe. By a bank robber.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe jerked against his grip and shook his head. \u201cI saw it Adam. I fired your gun and Will moved outta the way. I saw you fall!\u201d<\/p>\n

He had tried desperately to scrub that image from his mind since that fateful day in the bank.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you shot one of the bank robbers in the back. He<\/em> shot me. Not you<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Joe\u2019s face was as white as a sheet and Adam hurried on.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what kind of slug Doc Martin dug out of my chest and it didn\u2019t come from my gun.\u201d He grabbed at his brother\u2019s hands and squeezed them. \u201cYou didn\u2019t shoot me, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut \u2026 I \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, if you ever trusted me on anything, trust me on this. Roy\u2019s got that slug in his office. Evidence for the trial. I can prove it to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jacob smiled to himself as he saw Joe relax for the first time since Mac had told them about the poster.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did nothin\u2019 wrong, kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Ben pulled his horse up to the hitching rail and slowly dropped out of the saddle. His whole body ached as he had spent far too many hours on horseback with nothing to show for it.<\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019mon, Pa. Let me get the horses put up and you go and see what Hop Sing\u2019s fixin\u2019 for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss reached for Buck\u2019s reins as he tugged his own horse towards the barn. He was getting mighty tired of riding out for days at a time and coming home empty-handed. Before he reached the barn, Hop Sing came running from the house, calling something in an excited mixture of English and Chinese.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Ben, you come quick!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss dropped the reins and hurried after his father, fearful that Adam had taken a turn for the worse. He raced through the open door and was stunned to see Adam sitting upright in his chair and looking better than he had in weeks. His brother was grinning at him and his father was crouched down in front of the sofa. Hoss moved closer and leaned over to see what had everyone\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n

Little Joe lay sprawled out across the sofa in the same way he always had since he was a small boy. He was sound asleep and Hoss smiled as he half expected his father to tell his little brother to get his boots off the furniture.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph.\u201d Ben reached for his son\u2019s arm and nudged at him. His voice wavered as he tried again. \u201cSon, wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe jolted awake as he felt somebody shaking him and he opened his eyes to find a crowd of faces looking at him. He latched onto one and stared as his father reached out to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben reached a hand around behind Joe\u2019s neck and pulled his lost son towards him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere in the world have you been? We\u2019ve looked everywhere for you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head as he ran hands over his son\u2019s arms, checking for injury.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa. Honest!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told Joe that you caught the bank robbers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded at Adam\u2019s comment, without taking his eyes of his youngest boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey are in Roy\u2019s jail. Well, two of them are. One of them didn\u2019t make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe chewed on his lower lip as he considered that last part. Adam had already told him that his bullet had found its mark after all.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked across at where Adam was sitting.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought \u2026 I thought I knew what I was doing with my gun. I never figured how it would feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow what would feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed down the lump in his throat and tried to explain.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo kill someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe felt his father\u2019s hand gripping his shoulder.<\/p>\n

Adam pushed forward and sat down on the table in front of Joe. He and Joe had already had two days to discuss what had really happened that day, but it was clear the kid still hadn\u2019t come to terms with it.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you saved my life when you shot that robber.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t how Joe saw it, but he really didn\u2019t want to talk anymore about guns or robbers or death. His father watched as Joe seemed to deflate in front of him. It was a fact of life in the West that a man would one day have to take another man\u2019s life. He just hadn\u2019t expected it would come at just fifteen years of age.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joe. I had no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t dare look up in case he saw the look of disappointment he\u2019d seen too many times lately on his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\n

It was almost midnight when Ben heard something in the room below. He reached down for his slippers and snagged his robe before heading for the stairs. He paused at the landing as he caught sight of a figure standing in front of the gun rack. It only took a moment before he realised it was Joe and he continued on down the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry. Didn\u2019t mean to wake you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s hand rested on the closest rifle stock and he snatched it back as he realised his father had seen him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned and moved across the room, trying to pull his thoughts together. He had filled them all in on where he had been, but there was so much he\u2019d left out. Parts he wished to just bury and forget about. Parts he was ashamed of.<\/p>\n

Except a man took responsibility for his actions.<\/p>\n

Joe slumped down onto the table and was vaguely aware as his father settled beside him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it was just a game. Never took it seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was a game, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPractising my draw. I just wanted to prove to everybody that I could do it better. I had bets with Mitch and I could always outdraw him by a mile.\u201d Joe shook his head as he thought about that day where the gunslinger took down an opponent in the street. He\u2019d been so impressed and not really given much thought to the fact a man had died.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat day \u2026 in the bank. I was so mad at Adam. I blamed him because you took my gun away. He told me to stay put, but I \u2026 I just wouldn\u2019t listen. I wasn\u2019t gonna take orders from him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t move as he waited for Joe to go on.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was so mad because I didn\u2019t have my gun, ready to defend myself. I just grabbed hold of Adam\u2019s gun and fired without thinkin\u2019 it through.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe scrubbed a hand across his face as tears threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I killed him. I saw Adam fall down and I thought \u2026 I thought I killed my own brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben reached a hand across his son\u2019s shoulders as he kept silent.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I got away from the bank robbers \u2026 I couldn\u2019t come home, Pa. I just couldn\u2019t face you or Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat changed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething Adam said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben was confused at where the conversation was going and he was about to suggest Joe get some rest and they\u2019d talk again in the morning.<\/p>\n

\u201cOl\u2019 Granite Head is always tellin\u2019 me that a man takes responsibility for his actions. I could hear him, Pa \u2026 tellin\u2019 me to face up to my choices. I owed it to Adam to come home and tell you what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder again as he nodded at the explanation. \u201cAnd what did you think would happen when you got home?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s gaze dropped to the floor as he tried to run from that fear that had dogged him all the way home. The fear that his father would send him packing once he knew his son had killed his own brother.<\/p>\n

Ben allowed the silence to settle for a while, knowing full well where his son\u2019s thoughts had gone.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph \u2026 a man isn\u2019t measured by the size of his boots or how tall he is or even how old he is. At least that isn\u2019t how I take the measure of a man. All men make mistakes and many of them try to cover up those mistakes. They will lie and cheat and run away. A real man will stand up and admit his mistakes and then do something to rectify them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sat and stared at his feet, still not trusting himself to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, if what you thought really had happened \u2026 if it was your bullet that hit Adam \u2026 it would still have just been an accident. In the heat of a very stressful moment, you took action and it didn\u2019t quite go to plan.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t have a plan, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo \u2026 I guess not. But you wanted to defend and protect your brother \u2026 at whatever cost. Joe \u2026 I wish more than anything that this hadn\u2019t happened. That you could have stayed innocent of such things for just a while longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

He rubbed at his son\u2019s shoulders once again.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m proud of you. You didn\u2019t lose your head. And, Joe \u2026 I\u2019m very glad that you made the decision to come home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Pa, Jacob and those two hands he hired, they all refused to ask for the reward money you posted. Adam tried to talk to Jacob about it, but he said he didn\u2019t want it. He said his Emma would have had his hide if he tried!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled as he looked at his young son\u2019s face. A thousand dollars was a small fortune to someone who couldn\u2019t save five dollars. Of course, he\u2019d have paid it many times over if it brought his boy home.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s another measure of a good man. They don\u2019t put a price on things that are priceless.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben felt his son lean in closer to him and he did something he had not done in many years. He wrapped his arms around his boy and planted a kiss<\/strong> on the top of his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are some things that money just can\u2019t buy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright, Angst, APM, Ben Cartwright, ESA, ESB, ESH, ESJ, Family, Grief, Hop Sing, Hoss Cartwright, hostage, JAM, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright, JPM, kidnap, Paul Martin, Roy Coffee, SAS, SJS<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: My entry for the 2018 Camp in the Pines. At fifteen, Joe thinks he knows what it is to be a man. Unexpected events tip his ideas upside down and he finds the road home is a lot longer than he thought. <\/p>\n

Rating: T Word Count: 10856<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9743,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[41,30,40],"tags":[120],"class_list":["post-16511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hurtcomfort","category-prequels","category-challenges","tag-citp","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-30-id","wpcat-40-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":5000,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":152,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=152","url_meta":{"origin":16511,"position":0},"title":"Alone (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"June 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0 A moment in time in a special place. \u00a0 Rated K. \u00a0 \u00a0 (505 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/202.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/202.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/202.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/202.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5391,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5391","url_meta":{"origin":16511,"position":1},"title":"The End of a War (by BnzaGal)","author":"BnzaGal","date":"June 30, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Written using the five words (Bachelor, Medieval, Commence, Culmination, and Tassel) from the Chaps & Spurs Challenge, June 2011. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (1,110 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3390,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3390","url_meta":{"origin":16511,"position":2},"title":"Remember (by Lily of the West)","author":"Lily of the West","date":"April 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 a tender father\/son moment between Adam and Ben \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (770 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Ben \/ Adam"","block_context":{"text":"Ben \/ Adam","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1016"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7350,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7350","url_meta":{"origin":16511,"position":3},"title":"Seafarer Blood (by Sibylle)","author":"Sibylle","date":"May 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0It\u00b4s a\u00a0brief\u00a0glimpse\u00a0at a time Joe needs his oldest brother to prevent him\u00a0from a big mistake. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K \u00a0WC 600","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Joe"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5635,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5635","url_meta":{"origin":16511,"position":4},"title":"A Brother is Forever (by Dogwood)","author":"Dogwood","date":"May 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Ben's reflections as a brother. 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