{"id":17123,"date":"2018-05-15T15:06:12","date_gmt":"2018-05-15T19:06:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=17123"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:40:28","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:40:28","slug":"the-best-proof-of-love-mcfair_58","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=17123","title":{"rendered":"The Best Proof of Love (by McFair_58)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>This piece is a WHN and WHB for season thirteen’s ‘Bushwhacked!’.\u00a0 Even as a child I was troubled by Joe’s fever dream image of his beloved brother Hoss pulling out a pistol and shooting him.<\/p>\n

This is my idea of how and why Joe might have thought his big brother was trying to kill him.<\/p>\n

Rated PG-13 for angst, some violence, and vile characters<\/p>\n

Word count: 13,660<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Best Proof of Love<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIf thy brother wrongs thee, remember not so much his wrong-doing, but more than ever that he is thy brother.\u201d \u2013 Epictetus<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Prologue \u2013 The Present<\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright stood with his hand on the latch in the darkened hall outside his little brother\u2019s bedroom, debatin\u2019 whether or not to open the door.\u00a0 After all these years \u2013 nigh onto thirty of them since Joe\u2019d been born \u2013 you\u2019d think he\u2019d be used to wakin\u2019 in the middle of the night to someone screamin\u2019 like the house was on fire or maybe they was bein\u2019 murdered in their bed.\u00a0 Pa\u2019d cautioned him and Adam years ago not to get so used to it that they ignored what they heard.\u00a0 Dagburnit,<\/em> though!\u00a0 It was a hard thing not <\/em>to do.\u00a0 While Joe wasn\u2019t exactly cryin\u2019 wolf, it was kind of like that.\u00a0 Every time him and Adam climbed out of bed and padded over to Joe\u2019s room, they\u2019d find him sound asleep in the middle of a whirlwind of covers, fightin\u2019 like he was afraid it was gonna carry him away.\u00a0 Wakin\u2019 that little scamp durin\u2019 a nightmare was takin\u2019 your life in your hands.\u00a0 More than once him and Adam \u2013 and even Pa \u2013 had come out of that room with black eyes or worse.<\/p>\n

Thing was, for the last few years, nights on the Ponderosa had been perdy, well, peaceful.\u00a0 As Joe got older, it seemed he found a way to deal with his demons durin\u2019 the day so\u2019s he didn\u2019t have to fight them at night.\u00a0 Pa said it had to do with Adam leavin\u2019.\u00a0 That once older brother was gone, Joe \u2018came into his own\u2019.\u00a0 They sure did fight, them two.\u00a0 Seemed Adam could never get it through that thick head of his that Joe was all growed up, and Joseph, well, the boy knew he was growed up but felt like he wasn\u2019t <\/em>when Adam was around.\u00a0 Hoss snorted.\u00a0 A second later his upper lip curled.\u00a0 If anyone would\u2019ve asked him \u2013 and no one ever did \u2013 he\u2019d have said the problem was his two brothers was too much alike.<\/p>\n

Hoss heard a sound. \u00a0He tilted his head and listened.<\/p>\n

Joe was whimperin\u2019.\u00a0 Cryin\u2019, maybe.<\/p>\n

The big man ran a hand through his thinning hair.\u00a0 The way he saw it, it was a good thing little brother was so gosh darn stubborn.\u00a0\u00a0 If Joe wasn\u2019t, well, most like he wouldn\u2019t be here now shoutin\u2019 to wake the dead.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d <\/em>be dead.<\/p>\n

Hoss pressed his forehead against the door and drew in a breath, seeking to stifle the impotent rage that unexpectedly roiled up within him.\u00a0 It weren\u2019t much more than a week ago he\u2019d run into Tom Griswold\u2019s house and found that mangy dog, Jim Fenton, tryin\u2019 to smother his baby brother with a pillow.\u00a0 He wanted to kill him.\u00a0 He\u2019d hoped he had <\/em>when he took hold of that snake and shoved him through the window.\u00a0\u00a0 Fact was, when he saw that good-for-nothin\u2019 sheriff cartin\u2019 both Jim Fenton and Orv Pettus\u00a0away, he was sorely disappointed to see they was able to walk.\u00a0 Jail was too good for them!\u00a0 They deserved to suffer like Joe\u2019d been made to suffer.\u00a0 Shootin\u2019 him in the back.\u00a0 Leavin\u2019 him to bleed out and die.\u00a0 And then tryin\u2019 to kill him while he was sleepin\u2019!<\/p>\n

The big man drew in a breath.\u00a0 He straightened up and looked down the hall toward his father\u2019s room.\u00a0 Pa was plumb wore out from all of it.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t gettin\u2019 any younger and seein\u2019 Joe so bad off had taken a lot out of him.\u00a0 The trip back from the Griswolds had been as hard on Pa as it had been on his brother.\u00a0 Maybe harder.\u00a0 Joe was in pain most of the way, even though he said he wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 He\u2019d driven the wagon as cautiously as he could, careful to avoid every rut and bump \u2013 just like \u00a0he was carryin\u2019 nitro.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t make no difference.\u00a0 \u00a0By the time they got close to home, Joe was fevered again and out of his head and Pa, well, Pa was sittin\u2019 between little brother and the saddle holdin\u2019 him up and lookin\u2019 scared to death.<\/p>\n

Joe slept like the dead for near two days after that.<\/p>\n

The third day, the nightmares began.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned back toward his brother\u2019s room.\u00a0 Joe was yellin\u2019 again.\u00a0 It was the same thing every night.\u00a0 When he opened the door he\u2019d find little brother on his bed, pressed up against the headboard like he was tryin\u2019 to get away, or on the floor starin\u2019 at the ceilin\u2019.\u00a0 Either way, Joe\u2019d have one hand out like he was reachin\u2019 toward somethin\u2019.\u00a0 There\u2019d be a flicker of a smile and then, fast as a preacher takin\u2019 up a collection, little brother\u2019s mouth would form an \u2018O\u2019, his eyes\u2019d go wide, and he\u2019d jerk just like he\u2019d been shot.<\/p>\n

Then he\u2019d call his name.<\/p>\n

The big man sucked in air and let it out slowly.\u00a0 Everythin\u2019 that was in him wanted to turn around and go back to bed.\u00a0 He\u2019d been fightin\u2019 with himself since they got Joe home and he was fightin\u2019 still.\u00a0 He was pretty sure he knew what Joe was seein\u2019 and<\/em> why.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa didn\u2019t know nothin\u2019 about it.\u00a0 Joe knew, but he didn\u2019t remember.<\/p>\n

He knew, and it shamed him.<\/p>\n

A loud thump and a pitiful cry made his mind up for him.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe\u2019s wounds weren\u2019t healed yet.\u00a0 Doc Martin had warned them that little brother needed to keep as still as possible so he didn\u2019t break them stitches open and bring on a new infection.\u00a0 Paul was shakin\u2019 his head as he walked away with Pa.\u00a0 It had been close.\u00a0 Real <\/em>close.<\/p>\n

Joe could still die.<\/p>\n

Makin\u2019 his mind up, Hoss lifted the latch and stepped into the room.\u00a0 The moon was high and the light shinin\u2019 in the window showed him his brother\u2019s bed was empty.\u00a0 Joe was on the floor again, them big green eyes of his open, seein\u2019 somethin\u2019 on that ceilin\u2019 only he could see.\u00a0 His hands were reachin\u2019 for it.<\/p>\n

The moonlight showed him somethin\u2019 else too \u2013 the tears on his brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Hoss halted near the end of the bed.\u00a0 He knew from experience not to try to touch him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe,\u201d he called.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you gotta wake up.\u00a0 You hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother rolled onto his side and looked up.\u00a0 There was that smile again, like he was happy to see someone.<\/p>\n

He advanced a step closer.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe!\u00a0 You hear me?\u00a0 You\u2019re dreamin\u2019.\u00a0 You need to wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe that\u2019d do it. \u00a0Joe sure<\/em> did hate being called \u2018little\u2019 anymore.<\/p>\n

Like before, \u00a0his brother\u2019s lips formed his name.<\/p>\n

Hoss.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then he started screamin\u2019.<\/p>\n

Dagnabit!<\/em>\u00a0 \u00a0He couldn\u2019t stand it.\u00a0 He\u2019d just take that black eye!<\/p>\n

As he knelt by Joe, the big man reached out and took him by the shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s me.\u00a0 It\u2019s Hoss!\u00a0 Joe, you\u2019re home and you\u2019re safe.\u00a0 Come on now, you gotta wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shuddered.\u00a0 He blinked and then looked right at him.\u00a0 In his eyes there was such stark terror that Hoss \u00a0knew what he had to do.<\/p>\n

It was time to confess.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks…Hoss,\u201d Joe said as he released him and let him fall back against the pillows.\u00a0 Little brother was all out of breath, like he\u2019d been runnin\u2019 a race.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to tell me about it?\u201d he asked as he pulled a chair up to the bed.<\/p>\n

Joe scowled.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not a kid anymore.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need someone to \u2018make it all right\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss pursed his lips.\u00a0 He felt lower than a snake\u2019s belly.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cMaybe I should put that different, Joe. \u00a0I need <\/em>you to tell me about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s jaw grew tight.\u00a0 His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared like a bull gettin\u2019 ready to charge.\u00a0 It almost made him laugh.\u00a0 He\u2019d seen that look since the boy was knee-high to a grasshopper and knew he used it to scare people away.\u00a0 Worked most of the time too.<\/p>\n

\u2018Course, not with him.<\/p>\n

His brother continued to glare at him for several heartbeats and then, all of a sudden, went as limp as a neck-wrung rooster. \u00a0\u00a0Joe turned his head into the pillow and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired, Hoss,\u201d he mumbled.\u00a0 \u201cGo away.\u00a0 Let me sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man hung his hands between his knees.\u00a0 \u201cWell now, Joe, if goin\u2019 away would let you sleep, I\u2019d do that.\u00a0 But both you and I know it ain\u2019t.\u00a0 You got somethin\u2019 in your craw and you need to come out with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t gonna hurt me by sayin\u2019 it,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, don\u2019t.\u00a0 Just…don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Joe, things ain\u2019t been the same between us since before we come home.\u00a0 Both you and I know it.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t…comfortable around me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d he said into the pillow.<\/p>\n

\u201cRidiculous, is it?\u00a0 Then how come you ask for Hop Sing and Pa, but tell them you don\u2019t need nothin\u2019 when they tell you they\u2019ll send me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glanced at him.\u00a0 \u201cYou must have forgot to wear your hat in the sun again.\u00a0 You\u2019re imagining things, older brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike you thinkin\u2019 I was gonna shoot you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s body went rigid.\u00a0 A shiver ran the length of it, visible even under the covers.\u00a0 When he spoke, he barely could.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy…why would you…think that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, let\u2019s see, we been home nine days and you\u2019ve done had nightmares for six of them.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss leaned back in the chair.\u00a0 His smile was weary.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAnyone ever told you that you done got a powerful set of lungs on you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s look was wary.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019d I say?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man pursed his lips.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t shoot\u2019, and then you called my name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u00a0 You know what they say about dreams.\u00a0 You can\u2019t take them serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat ain\u2019t what brother Adam used to say,\u201d Hoss countered.\u00a0 \u201cHe said they was the windows to the soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s too late and I\u2019m too tired for poetry, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it ain\u2019t too late to tell the truth, little brother, and then maybe both <\/em>of us can get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shifted.\u00a0 It pained him, but he slowly pulled himself up into a seated position and looked straight at him. \u00a0There was somethin\u2019 in his eyes, a hunger maybe \u2013 maybe a need.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou really want to know?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

The big man nodded.<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard.\u00a0 He blinked and ran a hand nervouslike through his hair before smilin\u2019 that smile he had \u2013 the one that lifted just one side of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s silly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t silly little brother, if it\u2019s painin\u2019 you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just I know you wouldn\u2019t…I mean, I know….\u201d\u00a0 Joe paused.\u00a0 \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t hurt me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t never meant to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe heard the catch in his voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou first.\u00a0 You tell me what that nightmare of yours is about.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 Then he nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m running through a field.\u00a0 Trying to get away from, well, now I know it was Fenton and Pettus.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a bullet in my leg and I know<\/em> if they catch me there\u2019ll be more \u2013 probably one through my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was hard to hear.\u00a0 Joe might be describin\u2019 a dream, but it was what had really <\/em>happened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI fall.\u00a0 I\u2019m layin\u2019 on the ground and then I hear a wagon.\u00a0 It\u2019s coming toward me.\u00a0 I see someone getting down, puttin\u2019 their boot on the hub.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes, full of misery, flicked to his face.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s you, Hoss.\u00a0 It\u2019s you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAnd….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd…I think I\u2019m rescued.\u00a0 I mean, there you are, comin\u2019 toward me.\u00a0 I reach out toward you.\u00a0 I\u2019m smiling.\u00a0 Big brother has come to rescue me and then….\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice trailed off.<\/p>\n

Little brother was sweatin\u2019 somethin\u2019 fierce.\u00a0 His chest was risin\u2019 and fallin\u2019 fast as a stallion\u2019s hooves.\u00a0 He wet his lips as his white-knuckled fingers clutched the covers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I think I\u2019m gonna be sick….\u201d<\/p>\n

Luckily Hop Sing had left a basin by the bed.\u00a0 He held it while his brother threw up and then took it to the hall and left it outside the door.\u00a0 Then he did something he hadn\u2019t done since his brother was little.\u00a0 He came back into the room, went to the bed and sat on the side of it and placed a hand on Joe\u2019s leg.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m real sorry, little brother,\u201d he said and meant it .<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry for what?\u00a0 Makin\u2019 me puke?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was doin\u2019 that other thing he was good at \u2013 usin\u2019 humor to make you forget what he wanted<\/em> you to forget.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor shootin\u2019 you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe snorted.\u00a0 \u201cAh, Hoss.\u00a0 I was out of my head.\u00a0 I might\u2019ve thought Cochise was shootin\u2019 at me \u2013 or asking me to dance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u00a0 Look at me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He waited until he had.\u00a0 \u201cIt ain\u2019t a fever dream.\u00a0 It\u2019s real.\u00a0 I did shoot you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The smile died on his brother\u2019s lips when he realized he was serious.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou weren\u2019t there, Hoss.\u00a0 Nobody<\/em> was there but Pettus and Fenton.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m sorry for that too.\u201d\u00a0 The big man paused.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t let himself think about it for years.\u00a0 Decades, really.\u00a0 He\u2019d panicked and his little brother had almost paid for it with his life.\u00a0 \u201cYou was too little.\u00a0 You don\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe straightened up in the bed.\u00a0 He was listenin\u2019 now.\u00a0 \u201cHow little?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI wasn\u2019t eleven.\u00a0 I think you just turned five.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMama was \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, she was gone.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss smiled sadly.\u00a0 \u201cGood thing too.\u00a0 She would of kilt me if she\u2019d found out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFound out what?\u201d<\/p>\n

Twenty-five years had passed since that day.\u00a0 There\u2019d been times when he forgot, but what almost happened \u2013 what he had almost<\/em> done \u2013 came back to haunt him in his nightmares, just like it did his little brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was holdin\u2019 onto his arm, tryin\u2019 to comfort him.<\/em>\u00a0 They locked eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

And he did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter One \u2013 The Past<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seventeen-year-old Adam Cartwright looked at the list he had just composed, then he pinched his nose and sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s see.\u00a0 Where do I start?\u201d he groaned.<\/p>\n

First there was the payroll, which was due in a few days.\u00a0 Then, there was the preparation for the cattle drive that was set to begin the next week.\u00a0 After that were listed the more mundane tasks Pa had left for him such as checking the fence on their perimeter and shoring up the outbuildings before the snow flew.\u00a0 Then came the business affairs, which included a contract that had to be renegotiated before the deadline that was three days away.\u00a0 Even farther<\/em> down on the rumpled cream-colored piece of paper were the things Hop Sing had added before he left for Sacramento such as purchasing enough food and medicine to make it through the winter and \u2013 since they had no mother to sew their clothes, not that Marie\u2019s greatest gift had been sewing\u00a0 \u2013 picking up enough clothing to last until Spring, which was quite a lot considering there were two growing boys under the age of ten in the house.\u00a0\u00a0 And then \u2013 then, <\/em>there were the ordinary everyday<\/em> things that had to be done like caring for the livestock and picking his brothers up after school.\u00a0 Little Joe still had a problem if he didn\u2019t.\u00a0 His baby brother was sure anytime anyone was out of his sight that they were dead.\u00a0 On top of nursemaiding Joe, he had to make sure the two boys ate, took their baths, did their homework, and actually went to bed when ordered.\u00a0 One time he found the two of them playing checkers in Joe\u2019 s bed at two a.m.!<\/p>\n

Adam dropped the list on his father\u2019s desk and ran a hand over his eyes.\u00a0 He was lucky if he got four hours of sleep a night.\u00a0 Hop Sing yelled at him about it, but by the time he got everything done, it tended to be the wee hours of the morning.<\/p>\n

Which was just about the time Little Joe usually woke up screaming.<\/p>\n

After that came an hour or two of sitting with the little boy and assuring him that though his mama couldn\u2019t come back \u2013 much as she wanted to \u2013 his papa would return soon.<\/p>\n

Adam turned and looked out the window beyond the dining table.\u00a0 He hated lying to the little tyke, but what was he supposed to do?\u00a0 Four months had passed since Marie had died in a fall from her horse and in that time he might have seen his father twice as many times.\u00a0 Pa would come home to make sure they were all breathing and then go out again, God only knew where.\u00a0 He said he was attending to the Ponderosa\u2019s \u2018greater\u2019 business.<\/p>\n

What he was doing was running away.\u00a0 Pa couldn\u2019t stand to be in the house with Marie\u2019s things and that, sadly, included Little Joe.\u00a0 The kid was a dead ringer for his mother.<\/p>\n

Adam winced.\u00a0 Poor<\/em> choice of words.<\/p>\n

Moving across the great room, the tired teen dropped onto one of the dining room chairs and anchored his elbows on the wooden table.\u00a0 The last time Pa had come home, it had been late.\u00a0 He\u2019d entered the house around midnight looking like a ghost. \u00a0They\u2019d chatted a bit and then the older man had gone upstairs.\u00a0 He found him later sitting in Little Joe\u2019s room, staring \u2013 just…staring at the boy.\u00a0 He\u2019d wanted to shout at him \u2013 no, to scream<\/em>, but the look on Pa\u2019s face \u2013 the utter devastation and raw naked grief \u2013 had silenced him.<\/p>\n

It seemed the Cartwright way was to shut down in the face of inexplicable loss.\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t like he<\/em> was a stranger to it.\u00a0 It was how he had survived losing Hoss\u2019 mother.<\/p>\n

Who was he to judge?<\/p>\n

With a sigh, the teenager leaned forward and rested his head on his arms.\u00a0 Little Joe and Hoss were due home shortly.\u00a0 Even though Joe had just turned five, after Marie\u2019s death, Pa had enrolled him in school.\u00a0 He was a smart little kid.\u00a0 Probably too smart for his own good.\u00a0 Joe was already sure he was as good as Hoss at everything and should be allowed to do everything the ten-year-old \u2013 who was the size of a thirteen year old \u2013 could do.\u00a0 It had led to some pretty interesting moments, like the time Joe decided in the middle of the night that he could rope a steer and walked out of the house and into the corral wearing nothing but his birthday suit.<\/p>\n

Shifting, Adam found a comfortable spot where his neck wasn\u2019t cricked. \u00a0Just for a second<\/em>, he thought, just for a second<\/em> I\u2019ll close my eyes.\u00a0 He\u2019d sent one of the hands to fetch his brothers.\u00a0 Dusty was a surly old thing except, funny enough, when it came to kids.\u00a0 He\u2019d actually volunteered for the job and said he\u2019d run the pair past the mercantile and buy them a peppermint stick each before he brought them home.\u00a0\u00a0 One of the other hands told him that Dusty had lost his family early on to Indians.\u00a0 The old wrangler had grown hard to survive, but still had a soft spot for children due to the ones he\u2019d lost.\u00a0 They were due to arrive any time.\u00a0 He was sure he\u2019d hear the horses and wake up when they did.<\/p>\n

Closing his eyes, Adam willed his mind to stop whirling.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t long before he was sound asleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dusty didn\u2019t bring them to the house.\u00a0 He dropped them off at the end of the yard and headed back out with another of Pa\u2019s hands to help a man who had got hurt. \u00a0The older man had looked at him and said, \u201cHoss, now you be sure to tell your older brother where I went and why.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want him thinkin\u2019 I shirked my duty.\u201d<\/p>\n

The oversized ten-year-old had nodded and said he would, even though he didn\u2019t know exactly what it meant for someone to \u2018shirk\u2019 somethin\u2019.\u00a0 He was pretty sure it wasn\u2019t a good thing, but that was about as far as it went.<\/p>\n

A second later he felt sticky fingers slip into his own.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to go inside,\u201d Joe announced.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 lips twitched when he looked down at his brother.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s nose was white and his lips were about as red as Mancey\u2019s.\u00a0 Mancey was a saloon girl in Eagle Station that Adam talked to when he thought no one was watchin\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0 It looked like Joe\u2019d run his sticky fingers through his hair too \u2018cause them curls of his was clumped together like they was wet.\u00a0 And worst of all, the front of his white shirt weren\u2019t white anymore, it were pink.<\/p>\n

Adam was gonna have himself a conniption fit.<\/p>\n

At that thought, Hoss realized older brother hadn\u2019t come out to greet them like he usually did.\u00a0 For a second Hoss was afraid, but then he told himself he was too big for that.\u00a0 Hadn\u2019t Dusty told him just the day before that he was gonna talk to Adam about him goin\u2019 huntin\u2019 with him and lettin\u2019 him take a rifle?\u00a0 His chest puffed out at that.\u00a0 He was nearly all growed up.\u00a0 Why, he knew of a couple of boys in the settlement no older than him had been left without a pa or ma and they was takin\u2019 care of themselves, workin\u2019 their farm and huntin\u2019 for food and the like.\u00a0 Adam would know that too.\u00a0 He\u2019d let him go.\u00a0 He was sure of it.<\/p>\n

Well, almost sure.\u00a0 Pa and Adam was kind of funny about guns.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, come on!\u201d Little Joe said, tugging at his hand.\u00a0 \u201cI want to tell Adam what that teacher lady said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTeacher lady?\u201d\u00a0 He frowned.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean Miss Jones?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s curly head was bobbin\u2019.\u00a0 He sure was a cute little cuss when he did that.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe, now you just settle down.\u00a0 What\u2019d she say that\u2019s got you in such an all-fired hurry?\u201d<\/p>\n

His curls flew the other way.\u00a0 \u201cShe said I had to tell Adam.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I\u2019m bigger than you and I can pick you up and throw you in that horse trough if\u2019n you don\u2019t,\u201d he countered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need a bath,\u201d Joe declared.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure do,\u201d Hoss said as he scooped his brother up off the ground.\u00a0 \u201cI can tell you, you don\u2019t want to go talkin\u2019 to Adam \u2018til we got you all cleaned up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I gotta<\/em> tell him!\u201d Joe wailed.\u00a0 \u201cThe teacher lady told me I would be a good boy if I did.\u00a0 Pa told me I should be a good boy.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe sniffed and his voice trailed off.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe if she tells him I was good then Pa will come home….\u201d<\/p>\n

They were just outside the front door.\u00a0 Hoss jerked to a stop.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t understand why their pa had gone away, but he knew for sure it had nothin\u2019 to do with Little Joe.<\/p>\n

The things kids got in their heads!<\/p>\n

Hoss dropped his brother and then knelt before him.\u00a0 \u201cHow about this?\u00a0 You and me will sneak upstairs and get you all cleaned up and in a new shirt and then <\/em>we\u2019ll tell Adam what Miss Jones said.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe was scowling. You could almost see the wheels turning behind those great big green puppy dog eyes of his.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll count the same if we wait?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure it will.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be more of a…surprise.\u00a0 Yeah, a surprise.\u201d\u00a0 He had a pretty good idea what Miss Jones had said.<\/p>\n

Joe was amazin\u2019.\u00a0 He could turn from shadow to sunshine faster than anyone he\u2019d ever knowed.\u00a0 A brilliant smile lit his baby brother\u2019s face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI love surprises!\u00a0 I bet Adam does too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss smirked.\u00a0 \u201cKind of depends on what\u00a0 the surprise is, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe looked from side to side and then leaned in and said in a whisper, \u201cMiss Jones said to tell Adam she needs him to help her with the older boys \u2018cause he\u2019s so inte…inte…intefectual.\u201d\u00a0 Joe paused and then pronounced his five-year-old judgment.\u00a0 \u201cI think she likes him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The ten-year-old shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cThat Miss Jones,\u201d he snorted.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s gotta be old enough to be Adam\u2019s ma.\u201d<\/p>\n

There went the sunshine again.\u00a0 Joe sniffed.\u00a0 \u201cI miss my ma.\u201d<\/p>\n

Of all the lunk-headed things!\u00a0 Why\u2019d he have to go and say somethin\u2019 so stupid?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Little Joe,\u201d Hoss said, wrapping his arms around his brother.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to make you cry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s cryin\u2019?\u201d Joe stuck out his lip.\u00a0 \u201cBig boys don\u2019t cry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u00a0 So you just suck it in and button your lip and we\u2019ll go in real quiet-like and get up that staircase for Adam knows we\u2019re home.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss stuck his hand out.\u00a0 \u201cDeal?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe took it and shook it hard, transferring the last remnants of his peppermint stick to his fingers.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at them and sighed.<\/p>\n

And then stuck them in his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stirred.\u00a0 He blinked sleep from his eyes and sat up \u2013 and then realized the sun had gone down.\u00a0 With a start, he stood so quickly he tipped his chair over.\u00a0 A distressed gasp made him look up \u2013 and was met with a gasp of his own.<\/p>\n

Hoss was reaching for the gun rack.\u00a0 On the floor beside him, Little Joe was playing with the carved horses his mother had given him on that last Christmas.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think you are doing?!\u201d the teen shouted as he worked his way through the cobwebs of sleep and headed for the area near the stair.<\/p>\n

Hoss jumped and turned around faster than a cat with his tail on fire.\u00a0 In his haste, he stepped on one of Joe\u2019s horses.\u00a0 Adam winced as he heard the wooden animal snap.<\/p>\n

And then the wail.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss…broked…my…pony!\u201d<\/p>\n

Good God.<\/p>\n

In ten steps he\u2019d reached the little boy and scooped him up.\u00a0 Joe threw his arms around his neck and took hold so tightly it was all he could do to manage to squeak out, \u201cThe horse, Hoss?\u00a0 Can it be mended?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was hard to hear above Little Joe\u2019s sobs, but his middle brother\u2019s shake of the head was all he needed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you another horse, okay?\u00a0 Even prettier,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut…mama… gave…me…that horse.\u00a0 You…ain\u2019t mama!\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes.\u00a0 I am, Adam thought.\u00a0 I definitely <\/em>am.<\/p>\n

The teen fixed his middle brother with his most serious stare.\u00a0 \u201cYou wait here for me.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to take Little Joe up and put him to bed.\u00a0 And you stay away from that gun case!\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss met his serious stare with a somewhat defiant look and then dropped his head.\u00a0 \u201cI hear ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tomorrow, he swore, tomorrow<\/em> he was going to go into town and hire some woman to come out and deal with these two until their pa got back.\u00a0 He had no time for this.\u00a0 That list as long as his arm was waiting for him and he hadn\u2019t gotten one single thing done.<\/p>\n

Not one!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An hour passed before Adam managed to make it downstairs.\u00a0 He\u2019d had to let Little Joe cry himself out.\u00a0 His brother had been inconsolable about the broken horse.\u00a0 Of course, it wasn\u2019t really the horse, it was the fact that his baby brother had witnessed his mother\u2019s accident, watched her die in his father\u2019s arms, and then \u2018lost\u2019 his father as well all within a period of weeks.\u00a0 \u00a0As his boot struck the ground floor, the teen tossed a look at the tall case clock.\u00a0 It was well past both of his brothers\u2019 bedtimes.\u00a0 Past his too.<\/p>\n

And he was sure Little Joe was not<\/em> going to let him sleep through the night.<\/p>\n

It took Adam a moment to find Hoss.\u00a0 He was sitting at the dining table with his head in his hands.\u00a0 The older boy crossed over to the table and sat down and waited for his brother to look up.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you understand why I was angry?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cDusty said \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care what Dusty said.\u00a0 You answer to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reluctantly, the ten-year-old nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI understand.\u00a0 But Adam, I can handle a gun \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you would know that because?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Lord, he sounded like his father!<\/p>\n

Hoss winced.\u00a0 \u201cCause Dusty let me shoot his rifle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he did, did he?\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ll just have to have a talk with Dusty about that in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I ain\u2019t a kid.\u00a0 I\u2019m near eleven years old!\u00a0 Tom and Jack Sanders are my age and they carry rifles and use them too!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam drew a breath.\u00a0 When he\u2019d been Hoss\u2019 age, he\u2019d known how to shoot a rifle.\u00a0 He\u2019d had too.\u00a0 He had to protect Hoss.<\/p>\n

But that had been a different world.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, don\u2019t you realize that what you did tonight \u2013 doing something you know you have been told not <\/em>to do \u2013 proves you aren\u2019t <\/em>ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was silent a moment.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam,\u201d he said at last.\u00a0 \u201cI wanted to look at that rifle of Pa\u2019s.\u00a0 The one Ma got him last Christmas with the silver \u2018C\u2019 in the handle.\u201d\u00a0 His little brother swallowed hard.\u00a0 \u201cI wanted to hold it.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t think I\u2019d know since I was asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a trace of a grin.\u00a0 \u201cThat too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa had left the rifle behind when he took off.\u00a0 It, like the house and Little Joe, reminded him of Marie.\u00a0 She\u2019d had it made special for him.<\/p>\n

Adam leaned back in his chair and studied his brother.\u00a0 Hoss wasn\u2019t a bad kid.\u00a0 He was just…a kid.\u00a0\u00a0 The trouble was, in the West, it took nothing for a kid to end up dead.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook.\u00a0 We\u2019ll forget it this time, but don\u2019t do it again.\u00a0 For one thing, Little Joe was watching.\u00a0 What if he decided to climb up on a chair and get a rifle from the rack?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be loaded.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cMost likely not, but you never know.\u00a0 Sometimes Pa leaves one loaded so he or I can grab it quick if trouble comes.\u00a0 You can\u2019t take that chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 eyes were the most crystal clear blue he had ever seen, like a mountain spring.\u00a0 They hid nothing.\u00a0 He could see his brother was truly repentant for what he had done.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam.\u00a0 I won\u2019t do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

The teen smiled as he rose and pushed off from the table.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u00a0 Now, I think both you and I should try to get some sleep.\u00a0 Marie\u2019s alarm clock is set to go off about three a.m.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was on his feet too.\u00a0 \u201cMarie\u2019s alarm clock?\u201d<\/p>\n

His step-mother had one.\u00a0 It had been a gift from a French admirer and was the latest fad in New Orleans.\u00a0 But that wasn\u2019t what he was talking about.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe.\u00a0 I imagine that\u2019s about the time he\u2019ll start yelling.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TWO<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next day Harriet Guthrie came to stay.\u00a0 Mrs. Guthrie had lost her family the year before to a fever that raged through the town. \u00a0She\u2019d had two little boys of her own, so whenever Pa asked her to come out for a few days, she jumped at the chance.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam smiled as the older woman placed a plate of pancakes before him and then ruffled Little Joe\u2019s curls before returning to the kitchen.\u00a0 The only thing that concerned him about leaving her alone to care for the little scamp and Hoss for the two to three days it would take him to ride to Carson City where he was to negotiate that contract and back, was that he knew Little Joe could wrap her around his little finger.\u00a0 He\u2019d probably come home to find the boy twice as fat and three times as sassy.<\/p>\n

Of course, with Little Joe, the \u2018twice as fat\u2019 couldn\u2019t hurt.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n

The teen looked over his forkful of pancake at his middle brother.\u00a0 He knew what was coming. \u00a0He also knew what his reply would be.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come I cain\u2019t go with you?\u201d Hoss pleaded.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause we can\u2019t leave Mrs. Guthrie here alone with Little Joe.\u00a0 \u00a0She needs someone to look after her too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Dusty?\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d put the pancake in his mouth.\u00a0 He nearly spit it out.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for one thing,\u201d he replied, \u201cDusty has more than enough to do since Jake is injured.\u00a0 And for another, you know he\u2019s heading out tonight to check on the herd.\u201d\u00a0 Dusty was the most experienced man left on the ranch.\u00a0 He was going out to show the ropes to a couple of the younger hands who were going on their first drive.\u00a0 After that, he\u2019d turn them loose and return to do whatever it was Mrs. Guthrie needed him to do.\u00a0 It worried him a little to leave the widow and his young brothers for all intents and purposes alone tonight, but he had no choice.\u00a0 If they lost that contract they might not make it through the coming year.\u00a0 Mrs. Guthrie, of course, had assured him that she would be fine.\u00a0 She knew how to use a rifle and wasn\u2019t afraid to do so.<\/p>\n

He believed her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Adam, but….\u201d \u00a0Hoss glanced at his younger brother.\u00a0 Little Joe had made a mountain out of his pancakes.\u00a0 One of his remaining wooden horses was riding toward it.\u00a0 \u201cIt makes me feel like a kid havin\u2019 to stay home with Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t no kid!\u201d Joe protested as his horse splashed through a gushing stream of syrup.<\/p>\n

Adam dabbed at the aftermath of the charge that dotted the checked tablecloth with his napkin before speaking.\u00a0 \u201cOf course not, Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019ll help Hoss take care of Mrs. Guthrie, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes went wide over the top of the wooden horse whose hoof he was sucking on.\u00a0 \u201cMrs. Gurther\u2019s nicer than Hop Sing,\u201d he said as he pulled it out.\u00a0 \u201cShe lets me have all the cookies I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuthrie, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Adam sat back in his chair and pinned his middle brother with a questioning stare.\u00a0 \u201cI need to hear you tell me I can count on you, Hoss. \u00a0Otherwise I won\u2019t go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut don\u2019t you gotta Adam?\u201d his sibling asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could send someone else \u2013 Hiram, maybe \u2013 but I\u2019d rather not. \u00a0It\u2019s important I represent Pa.\u00a0 His partners need to know he\u2019s still in the game.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cWe need that contract.\u00a0 It will help to secure our northern border among other things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe raised his hand, pretending to hold a gun.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019ll shoot dead anyone who comes on our land who ain\u2019t s\u2019posed to.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t that right, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam ran a hand over his face.\u00a0 His father\u2019s bluster \u2013 meant to intimidate \u2013 could be, at times, a bit misleading.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if they threaten us, Joe, and then after we give them a chance to explain. \u00a0Pa just…\u00a0 Well….\u00a0 Pa just means to scare them off.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sniffed as tears formed in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cPa scares me sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam just about melted into a puddle.\u00a0 He held his hands out.\u00a0 \u201cCome here, Joe.\u00a0 Please.\u201d\u00a0 Once his little brother had climbed into his lap, he squeezed him tight and held him close.\u00a0 \u201cPa doesn\u2019t mean to he harsh, Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s just…. \u00a0Well, he\u2019s kind of lost now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow comes he got lost?\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t he lookin\u2019 where he was goin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

The teen smiled.\u00a0 \u201cRight now Pa tends to look backwards more than forwards, which doesn\u2019t help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was putting two and two together.\u00a0 \u201cSo Pa can\u2019t see where he\u2019s goin\u2019?\u00a0 How come he doesn\u2019t take one of us to look out for<\/em> him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019d be smart, buddy.\u00a0 How about you tell him that next time he comes home?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe nuzzled into his shirt, clutching the fabric with his syrupy fingers.\u00a0 \u201cPa ain\u2019t never comin\u2019 home,\u201d he said with a sigh.<\/p>\n

He and Hoss exchanged a glance.\u00a0 \u201cWhat makes you think that, Joe?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Silent tears slipped down his brother\u2019s cheeks.\u00a0 \u201cHe don\u2019t like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was on his feet.\u00a0 He came quickly to their side.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, you know that ain\u2019t true!\u00a0 Pa loves you, just like he loves me and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s curly head shook.\u00a0 \u201cMama liked me.\u00a0 She went away and I should have gone with her.\u00a0 I bet Mama misses me even if Pa don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dear Lord!\u00a0 What did you say to that?<\/p>\n

A soft voice spoke from behind them.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, you told me about Hoss breaking your horse last night.\u00a0 Do you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

Both he and Hoss turned to look at Harriet Guthrie.\u00a0 The blonde woman had come in silently with a tray of milk and cookies in her hands.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd do you remember telling me how you couldn\u2019t stand to look at your other horses because they reminded you of the one that was broken?\u201d\u00a0 She had put the tray down and come to stand before them.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded again…slowly.<\/p>\n

Mrs. Guthrie knelt and placed a hand on Joe\u2019s knee.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s like that for your papa.\u00a0 When he looks at you, he thinks about your mama and he gets sad.\u201d\u00a0 The older woman paused.\u00a0 \u201cYou were playing with your horses at the table.\u00a0 You got over them making you sad, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

His little brother sniffed and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cUh huh.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older woman opened her arms and Joe jumped into them.\u00a0 Rising with him balanced on her hip, she spoke as she wiped away his tears away with the tip of her apron.\u00a0 \u201cOne day your papa will look at you and be happy that you remind him of your mama.\u00a0 That way there will always be a little bit of her still with him.\u00a0 You have to give him time.\u00a0 Can you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s lips twisted and he scowled, thinking hard.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe \u2018til tomorrow.\u00a0 That\u2019s an awful long time.\u00a0 Is it long enough?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mrs. Guthrie hid her smile as she raked her fingers through Joe\u2019s golden-brown curls, pushing them off of his face.\u00a0 \u201cWell, let\u2019s start with that and we\u2019ll take it day by day. \u00a0\u00a0Shall we?\u201d\u00a0 A second later she looked at her hand and exclaimed, \u201cChild, what have you done?\u00a0 Taken a bath in the honey?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s syrup,\u201d Adam said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cHis horse had to ford a river.\u201d<\/p>\n

The older woman laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s time this little one forded a river of his own. \u00a0I think a bath is in order!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want no bath!\u201d Joe proclaimed and started wiggling.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t dirty!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss leaned in close.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you remember your last bath?\u00a0 You was captainin\u2019 that ship and the pirates was comin\u2019?\u00a0 Hop Sing came in and stopped us before we could fire the cannons.\u00a0 Well, he ain\u2019t here.\u00a0 Is he?\u201d\u00a0 His blue eyes fixed on the older lady.\u00a0 She smiled and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cNow you go on with Ms. Guthrie and I\u2019ll come up in a minute or two and bring the shot.\u00a0 Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s irrepressible giggle made them all smile. \u00a0\u201cHeave to, laddie!\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201dHoist the mizzenmast!\u201d Hoss responded.<\/p>\n

As Mrs. Guthrie mounted the stairs, Adam turned to his middle brother.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 smile had faded and he looked thoughtful.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor little kid,\u201d he said at last.\u00a0 \u201cYou and me, Adam, we ain\u2019t never had a mama, so\u2019s we cain\u2019t miss \u2018em.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0He stopped short.\u00a0 \u201cI mean, there was \u2018mama\u2019, but she wasn\u2019t \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

He clapped a hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI know what you mean.\u00a0 Joe has a great big hole in his heart and I think the only thing that can fill it is Pa.\u201d\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI just wish Pa understood that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe will, Adam.\u00a0 He will.\u201d<\/p>\n

The teen nodded.\u00a0 He just hoped it was soon enough for little Joe, and that their father\u2019s absence didn\u2019t leave permanent scars.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on me while you\u2019re gone.\u00a0 I\u2019ll watch over Little Joe and Ms. Guthrie and won\u2019t let nothin\u2019 happen to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought a moment and then came to a decision.\u00a0 Unlikely as it was, it could<\/em> come to that \u2013 Hoss defending their home.\u00a0 And\u00a0 Hoss was<\/em> a responsible kid.<\/p>\n

It was time he proved to him that he believed it.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome with me.\u00a0 I have something to show you.\u201d<\/p>\n

His middle brother frowned but did as he was asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

The teen crossed to their father\u2019s desk and took a seat.\u00a0 He reached under the desk for the hidden key and then proceeded to unlock the top right hand drawer.\u00a0 Once it was open, he drew out a Colt.45 revolver.<\/p>\n

Hoss whistled.\u00a0 \u201cThat sure is a beauty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Pa\u2019s and it\u2019s always loaded.\u201d \u00a0Adam closed his fingers on the elegant handle.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s here in case of trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother looked a little green, as if he knew what was coming.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to come outside.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to show you how to use it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you said I wasn\u2019t s\u2019posed to play with guns, not even a rifle!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t playing.\u00a0 This is…protection.\u00a0 Mrs. Guthrie knows how to handle a rifle, but in case she\u2019s away or something happens to her and you have to do something to protect yourself and Joe…. \u00a0Well, I want you to be prepared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomethin\u2019 happens?\u00a0 Like what?\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t want to scare the boy, but the territory they lived in was wild and there was no predicting what might occur.\u00a0 Thieves, banditos, even men just down on their luck \u2013 all could pose a threat to two young boys and a woman alone.\u00a0\u00a0 Of course, the odds of something happening in the brief time they would be<\/em> alone were astronomical.<\/p>\n

Still….<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam,\u201d Hoss said, his eyes wide as he looked at the weapon.<\/p>\n

He hid his smile.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you wanted to handle Pa\u2019s rifle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust \u2018handle it\u2019. \u00a0Shootin\u2019 it is another thing.\u00a0 S\u2019pose I do somethin\u2019 wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam closed the drawer and stood with the pistol in his hand.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s why I want to show you what to do.\u201d\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cHas Dusty let you handle a pistol?\u00a0 Just answer.\u00a0 I won\u2019t get mad.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cA couple of times, just for balance.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t shot it, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s not hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s lighter and easier to aim that a rifle.\u00a0 And remember, if it comes to it, just showing the weapon will probably be enough to chase trouble away.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think any hard cases are going to show up.\u201d<\/p>\n

And with that, Adam led his younger brother to and through the door and into the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure you saw old man Cartwright ride out, Jasper?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dawson Dubbs, thin as a bed slat and rangy as a prairie chicken, with wheat stalk hair and eyes the color of dirt, spit out a wad of tobacco, missing the lizard he was aiming at before answering.\u00a0 \u201cYou blind or somethin\u2019?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cBack on the trail?\u00a0 The old man rode right past us while you was sleepin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper, as dark as his\u00a0 younger half-brother was pale, with a beak of a nose like a hawk and narrow, nasty black eyes to match, echoed, \u201cWhile I was sleeping?\u201d\u00a0 He cut Dawson\u2019s nod off by back-handing \u00a0him.\u00a0 \u201cThat woman that whelped you wasn\u2019t fit for a drinking man to hole up with,\u201d Jasper sighed.\u00a0 \u201cIf I was asleep, how was I supposed to know Cartwright rode past?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured you woke up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid I say I woke up?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dawson shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cYou always tell me you\u2019re a light sleeper.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper Dubbs shook his head.\u00a0 All his half-brother knew about brains was that you could buy them scrambled.\u00a0 Their pa had made him promise to look after him, but at the moment finding a nice cozy jail he could leave him in and send regular letters to was looking good.<\/p>\n

Making an abrupt gesture with his hand, he asked, \u201cDid you see which way he went?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToward Eagle Station,\u201d Dawson answered.<\/p>\n

So, if Cartwright went to town, it was a good four to five hours there and back at a quick clip.\u00a0 Odds were he\u2019d stay the night.\u00a0 Hell, odds were, he\u2019d stay a week from what one of the old man\u2019s hands had told him over a beer.\u00a0 Seems the rich man had lost his wife half a year back and just didn\u2019t care about nothing anymore.<\/p>\n

That was fine.\u00a0 He\u2019d just relieve him of the burden of all those nice things in his house including the payroll in his safe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou nose around about who\u2019s in the house like I asked?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dawson looked at him like he<\/em> was the idiot.\u00a0 \u201cCourse, I did.\u00a0 Most of the men are gone, gettin\u2019 ready for the drive.\u00a0 That old one…Dusty, I think?\u00a0 He\u2019s gone for a couple of days, and the oldest one of them Cartwright boys is s\u2019posed to leave tonight for Carson City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you haven\u2019t seen him leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

His half-brother shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t come by this way.\u00a0 Only one come by here was a woman headed toward<\/em> the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Since that Chink is gone, they probably hired her to cook or maybe watch the brats.\u201d<\/p>\n

A woman and two boys.\u00a0 A few scattered hands, maybe paying attention, most likely not.\u00a0 Not too bad.\u00a0 Shouldn\u2019t be too hard to take the house.\u00a0 And if things got messy, well, the high and mighty Ben Cartwright deserved it.\u00a0 His pa had worked for the rancher once upon a time and been let go for drinking on the job.\u00a0 Ma\u2019d left after that and things had just gone to hell.\u00a0\u00a0 A month or two later Pa\u2019d married the hussy that whelped Dawson.\u00a0 That woman, well, she\u2019d lived in the badlands where the lights are red and the carpets soft.\u00a0 \u00a0Didn\u2019t take too kindly to homestead life.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t too long for she was gone too.\u00a0 Took all the savings with her.\u00a0 After she left, Pa drank himself to death.<\/p>\n

Jasper spit again and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.<\/p>\n

He held Ben Cartwright responsible.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe gonna wait \u2018til it\u2019s dark?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, we\u2019re gonna rob the house in broad daylight,\u201d he groused.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you?\u00a0 An idiot?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Jasper, you ain\u2019t got no right to \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta every right to call you an idiot because you are one. \u201c\u00a0 Jasper turned and headed for his horse that was ground tethered nearby.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not being mean.\u00a0 Just telling the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it still ain\u2019t nice,\u201d his half-brother said as he mounted up.<\/p>\n

As Jasper settled in the saddle, he snorted, \u201cNever said I was nice.\u00a0 Just honest.\u00a0 Now, come on.\u00a0 We got us a ways to go and we need to be in place before sundown.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t so sure about this, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s blue eyes were wide.\u00a0 \u201cI mean, pointin\u2019 a gun at a tin can is one thing….\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPointing it at a man with the intent to do him harm is another.\u00a0 I know.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam pursed his lips and let out a little sigh.\u00a0 It pained him to see his almost eleven-year-old brother holding a pistol and pointing it at the straw \u2018man\u2019 he\u2019d constructed.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t be happy if you felt any different.\u201d\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe you can think of it this way.\u00a0 Odds are you wouldn\u2019t have to shoot.\u00a0 Most bad men are cowards and will turn tail and run if they see a gun pointed at them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean all I gotta do is scare them off?\u00a0 Kind of like a scarecrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

His hand came down on his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He\u2019d had Hoss take a couple of empty shots at the straw man, just so he could get used to the gun\u2019s weight and learn how to balance it.\u00a0 He was a big kid, so he really hadn\u2019t had any trouble.\u00a0 It was a double-edged sword.\u00a0 He was glad to see that Hoss was uncomfortable holding the weapon.\u00a0 Still, if for some unforeseen reason he needed to hold it and use<\/em> it, he also needed to feel confident.<\/p>\n

Adam waited until his brother looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cAre you all right with this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss drew in a breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0 Then he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I can do it if I hafta.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBANG BANG!\u201d a voice proclaimed from close behind them.\u00a0 Adam pivoted, pistol in hand but quickly dropped it when he saw who the little noisemaker was.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe!\u00a0 What are you doing out here?\u201d he asked, his voice harsh.\u00a0 \u201cI thought I told you to stay inside!\u201d<\/p>\n

Tears welled up in the little boy\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He sniffed between just about every word.\u00a0 \u201cMrs. Guthrie…told…me to…find…you….\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t told the older woman what they were doing.\u00a0 Placing the pistol on a nearby hay bale, Adam went over to Joe and scooped him up off the floor.\u00a0 Holding him in front of him, he looked right into those big green eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Little Joe. \u00a0I shouldn\u2019t have yelled.\u00a0 You startled me.\u00a0 Can you forgive me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shuddered with a sob, but nodded his head.<\/p>\n

Adam ruffled his brother\u2019s curls as he smiled.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did Mrs. Guthrie say?\u201d<\/p>\n

The little boy sniffed again and then his face lit up with the most amazing smile.\u00a0 \u201cTime for chocolate cake!\u201d<\/p>\n

Twirling Joe like a lariat, Adam hoisted him onto his shoulders and took a step toward the house.\u00a0 A moment later he turned back. \u00a0\u201cYou coming, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother was frowning.\u00a0 Hoss indicated the hay bale with a nod.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about…you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

How could he have forgotten?<\/p>\n

\u201cCome here, will you?\u201d he asked the ten-year-old.\u00a0 When Hoss obliged, he said, \u201cGo out for the pass.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded eagerly as he ran forward.\u00a0 \u201cYou got it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked up at his littlest brother.\u00a0 \u201cReady to fly, Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s answer was to spread his arms wide.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne…two…three!\u201d\u00a0 The teen smiled as he watched his giant of a middle brother catch and then cart his baby brother toward the house.\u00a0 He\u2019d never<\/em> get tired of that giggle.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll come in a minute,\u201d he called after them.\u00a0 \u201cI need to saddle my horse so I can head out before dark.\u00a0 You be sure to leave some cake for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss had Joe turned upside-down. The little boy was dangling over his back.\u00a0 \u201cNo promises, big brother!\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo promises!\u201d Joe echoed.<\/p>\n

With a sigh, Adam turned from his brothers and went to the hay bale and picked up his father\u2019s pistol .\u00a0\u00a0 Such a simple thing, but one little mistake like he had just made could mean the difference between life and death.\u00a0 This time he\u2019d emptied the revolver before handing it to Hoss.<\/p>\n

But if he hadn\u2019t and Joe had gotten hold of it….<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THREE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was powerful hungry.<\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright winced as his stomach growled again and then sat up and looked to the side.\u00a0 His little brother was lyin\u2019 next to him, sound asleep.\u00a0 Well, \u2018burrowed in\u2019 might be a better way to put it.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s nose was shoved into the feather pillow and his little rump was sticking up in the air half in and half out of the covers.\u00a0 As he watched, his brother shifted and rolled to the side and drew his legs up and then he kicked out.<\/p>\n

Sleepin\u2019 with little Joe was like sleepin\u2019 in a grizzly\u2019s cave.<\/p>\n

Reaching over, Hoss untangled the covers and pulled them up around his brother\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 Then he slipped from the bed just as his tummy let out another mighty howl.\u00a0 He glanced at Little Joe again, but his brother didn\u2019t stir.\u00a0 He was \u00a0lyin\u2019 all curled up with his thumb in his mouth.\u00a0 Before Mama\u2019d died, Pa\u2019d tried to break him of doin\u2019 that.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard him tell Little Joe that if he wanted to be all growed up like him and Adam, then he had to cut it out.<\/p>\n

After Mama died, well, Pa didn\u2019t say nothin\u2019 no more.<\/p>\n

When he reached the door to his room, Hoss looked back again.\u00a0 Little Joe still hadn\u2019t moved, so that meant he was right and good asleep.\u00a0 It would only take him a few minutes to go down to the kitchen and grab a piece of chocolate cake and a glass of milk and beat it back up to his room.\u00a0 Adam had left after the noon meal and Mrs. Guthrie had said it was too soon at supper for another piece.\u00a0 They\u2019d just have to wait for the next day.<\/p>\n

The way he figured it, it was after midnight now so it was<\/em> the next day.<\/p>\n

Quietly closing the door behind him, the ten-year-old headed out into the hall.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t put his slippers on \u2018cause Mrs. Guthrie was sleepin\u2019 in the guest room downstairs. \u00a0Hoss knew he\u2019d have to be real<\/em> quiet so as not to wake her and he figured bare feet was best.\u00a0 He remembered he\u2019d told Pa once that it seemed like Mama had extra ears or somethin\u2019.\u00a0 Pa had told him God made women like that \u2018cause he made little boys like him.<\/p>\n

Them had been good days.<\/p>\n

Fearful one of the boards on the stairs would squeak, Hoss caught hold of the railing and made his way down slowly.\u00a0 He was lookin\u2019 at his feet instead of lookin\u2019 up and had made it all the way to the bottom before he realized somethin\u2019 was wrong.<\/p>\n

Somethin\u2019 was very<\/em> wrong.<\/p>\n

Mrs. Guthrie was standin\u2019 by the dining room table.\u00a0 There was a tall blond man behind her and he had his hand over her mouth.\u00a0 Her eyes were wide and wild and she was shakin\u2019 her head and makin\u2019 sounds like she was tryin\u2019 to talk.\u00a0 A second later she got real quiet as the man holdin\u2019 her pulled a pistol out of his holster and pointed it, not at her, but at him.<\/p>\n

The sound of a chair scrapin\u2019 on the floor drew Hoss\u2019 attention to the other side of the great room to where Pa had his office.\u00a0 Everything that had been on his pa\u2019s desk was on the floor in front of it, and there was a big man with black hair and a thick mustache standin\u2019 behind the desk shoutin\u2019 words that would have earned him a trip to the woodshed if Pa\u2019d been home.\u00a0 The man turned \u2018round and gave the safe on the wall a kick and then moved into the room until he stood in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you said Cartwright\u2019s brats were asleep!\u201d the bad man yelled as he turned and looked at Mrs. Guthrie.\u00a0 She \u00a0tried to answer, but she couldn\u2019t \u2018cause the other bad man had his hand over her mouth.<\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed hard.\u00a0 \u201cI…I was hungry,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

The dark-haired man focused his intense stare on him.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard his pa talk about a man\u2019s eyes bein\u2019 cold.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d never understood what Pa meant \u2018til now.<\/p>\n

The man nodded up the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cIs your brother up there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe\u2019s…asleep,\u201d he said, his voice trembling.\u00a0 It got stronger when he added, \u201cYou just leave him out of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bad man snorted as he looked him up and down.\u00a0 \u201cYou want me to leave the kid alone?\u00a0 Then don\u2019t try anything.\u201d\u00a0 His hand dropped to the gun he wore slung low on his hip.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m telling you, boy.\u00a0 You make me mad, I\u2019ll take it out of his<\/em> hide not yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe\u2019s only five!\u201d he protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cJasper, he\u2019s right.\u00a0 We got no call to hurt no kids,\u201d the blond man said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shut up, Dawson.\u201d\u00a0 Before Hoss knew it, Jasper had reached out and caught hold of his nightshirt.\u00a0 He drew him in so close he could smell the liquor on his breath.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019re you , kid, twelve?\u00a0 Thirteen?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was big.\u00a0 Cause of that everybody always thought he was older than he looked.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 eyes strayed to the office.\u00a0 He knew their rescue was in the upper right hand drawer of his pa\u2019s desk.\u00a0 He had to get to it.\u00a0 Hoss eyed the bad man again.\u00a0 If Jasper knew he was only ten, maybe he wouldn\u2019t watch him so close and he\u2019d be free to move.<\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone thinks that,\u00a0 I ain\u2019t that old.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be eleven in about a month.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper looked him up and down.\u00a0 Then he turned on Mrs. Guthrie.\u00a0 \u201cIs he telling the truth?\u201d As she nodded, he looked back.\u00a0 \u201cLord, boy!\u00a0 Your mama must have been big enough to shade an elephant!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a good thing Hoss could hear Adam talkin\u2019 in his ear even though older brother wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 Keep calm<\/em>, he was sayin\u2019.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him get to you.\u00a0 He\u2019s not worth it.\u00a0 <\/em>Hoss drew a calming breath and let it out slowly, remembering the last thing Adam had said to him before walking out the door.\u00a0 Remember what I told you, Hoss.\u00a0 Nothing in the house is worth your life or anyone else\u2019s.\u00a0 If it\u2019s only money or things they want, let them have them.\u00a0 But if you think Little Joe or Mrs. Guthrie are in danger, there\u2019s always the gun in the desk drawer.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it you want, Mister?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe combination to that safe for one thing,\u201d Jasper snarled.<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cThat I ain\u2019t got.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s the only one knows that and he ain\u2019t here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s probably tellin\u2019 the truth, Jasper,\u201d Dawson said.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s just a kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, of course, he\u2019s tellin\u2019 the truth.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t no older brother stupid enough to trust something that important to a snot-nosed kid.\u00a0 We may just have to forget about the payroll.\u201d\u00a0 He looked around the room.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s plenty of silver and other things.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t as good as cash, but maybe they\u2019ll have to do.\u201d\u00a0 Jasper pulled his gun and waved toward the settee.\u00a0 \u201cNow you just go over there and sit yourself down, sonny, and stay put if you want me to leave that baby brother of yours alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss did as he was told.<\/p>\n

When he was satisfied that he had, Jasper turned to his brother and said, \u201cDawson, take the woman into the kitchen and tie her to a chair.\u00a0 If you find anything to eat, bring it back with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dawson started to move and then paused.\u00a0 \u201cWhich do you want me to do first?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss watched as Jasper roll his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cLittle brother, if you ain\u2019t as useless as a milk bucket under a bull.\u00a0 Tie her up, then<\/em> bring the food!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t gotta yell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I do.\u00a0 Otherwise the words aren\u2019t gonna make it through that thick skull of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss frowned as he listened to the two bad men argue.\u00a0 They were brothers, but Jasper acted like he hated Dawson, who was the younger of the pair.\u00a0 Dawson couldn\u2019t do anythin\u2019 right so far as he was concerned and every time he got somethin\u2019\u00a0 wrong, it just seemed to make Jasper angrier.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t imagine Adam talkin\u2019 to him like that, or him doin\u2019 that with Little Joe.<\/p>\n

All of a sudden he realized Jasper was standin\u2019 right next to him.\u00a0 Hoss tensed as he looked up.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, boy, you\u2019re gonna take me upstairs and we\u2019re gonna see what there is to see.\u201d<\/p>\n

A plan had been forming in his mind as he watched the brothers fight.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t all the way worked out yet, but he had high hopes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t want to go up there,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come?\u00a0 The five year old bigger than you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but he\u2019s real annoyin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 God forgive me, Hoss thought, for lyin\u2019.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t wanna wake Little Joe up. \u00a0He\u2019s a cry baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper stared at him and then burst out laughin\u2019.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t sound like you like him much.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t got much choice.\u00a0 I gotta like him.\u00a0 He\u2019s my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bad man snorted as he looked in the direction his brother had gone.\u00a0 \u201cHell, all that means is you gotta live with him.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean you have to like him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t like Dawson much.\u00a0 Do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper pivoted to look at him.\u00a0 There was somethin\u2019 in his eyes.\u00a0 Somethin\u2019 scary.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t like him at all, kid.\u00a0 But he\u2019s got his uses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy name\u2019s Hoss, not \u2018kid\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d he snorted.\u00a0 \u201cWhat the hell kind of name is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged again.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Guess it means I\u2019m kind of stupid.\u00a0 Leastwise that\u2019s what my<\/em> older brother thinks.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bad man stared at him again, a long<\/em> moment.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll make a deal with you, kid…Hoss.\u00a0 We\u2019ll go upstairs real quiet-like.\u00a0 I just want to take a look in your Pa\u2019s room.\u00a0 I don\u2019t expect you boys have much worth stealin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, sir.\u00a0 Our pa\u2019s right stingy.\u00a0 Makes us work for wages.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNow, why don\u2019t that surprise me?\u00a0 So you want to get back at him, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss crossed his fingers behind his back and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSure do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Hoss, I think you and me are gonna get along just<\/em> fine.\u201d\u00a0 Jasper put a hand on his shoulder and pressed him toward the stair.\u00a0 \u201cLead on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe Cartwright sat straight up in bed and opened his eyes.\u00a0 He blinked and looked around, surprised for a moment that he was not sleeping between his mama and his papa.\u00a0 Whenever he had a bad dream, he would run right out of his room and into theirs and dive in-between them.\u00a0 Pa would sigh and turn over, but mama would open her eyes and look at him and whisper, \u2018tout \u00e0 fait, mon petit\u2019<\/em>, and then put a finger to her lips as she lifted up her covers and let him snuggle up against her.\u00a0 When Pa woke up in the morning he pretended to be mad.\u00a0 He\u2019d reach down under the covers and grab him and shake him and then toss him on the bed so he bounced and mama would laugh and laugh.<\/p>\n

Someone was laughing.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t Mama.<\/p>\n

Mama was…dead.<\/p>\n

Joe rubbed his eyes and sniffed.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t gonna cry.\u00a0 Big men didn\u2019t cry.\u00a0 At least, Adam didn\u2019t cry and he was a big man.\u00a0 Hoss did sometimes, but he was little too and that didn\u2019t count.\u00a0 Pa\u2019d cried after mama died, but then his tears had all dried up and he just got mad.<\/p>\n

Maybe that\u2019s what big men did when they were sad.<\/p>\n

Get mad.<\/p>\n

Little Joe sighed.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t like bein\u2019 mad, but if that\u2019s what he had to be to be a man, then that\u2019s what he\u2019d do.<\/p>\n

Right now he was mad at Hoss.\u00a0 He\u2019d left him alone in the bed.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 bed was tall and big.\u00a0 Joe looked over the side and then \u2013 even though he was mad \u2013 grinned.\u00a0 He\u2019d found the best way for getting out of Hoss\u2019 bed was to take hold of the covers and flip over and land on the floor.<\/p>\n

Well, maybe not the best, but the funnest.<\/p>\n

After a well-executed somersault that would have been the envy of any circus performer, the little boy started across the room.\u00a0 He looked fot his slippers.\u00a0 He was supposed to wear slippers.\u00a0 But he was mad, so he wasn\u2019t gonna do anything anyone told him to do.<\/p>\n

Yeah, he was mad.\u00a0 He had to remember that.<\/p>\n

Little Joe stomped as he headed for the door.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t very much fun \u2018cause bare feet didn\u2019t make much noise.<\/p>\n

It would have been better in his slippers.<\/p>\n

Still thinking that over, Joe reached the door and jumped up and grabbed the latch and brought it down and then swung it open \u2013 just in time to see Hoss and some big man he didn\u2019t know heading down the staircase.\u00a0 Frowning, Joe followed them but stopped at the top of the stairs.\u00a0 The big man had a hand on Hoss\u2019 shoulder and he was carrying something.\u00a0 Something square made of wood with a fancy gold clasp on the side of it.<\/p>\n

Something that belonged to his dead mama….<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU PUT THAT BACK!!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss spun just in time to see Little Joe, his nostrils flaring and his brow near meetin\u2019 his nose, launch himself down the steps toward Jasper\u2019s legs.\u00a0 The bad man was startled, but he managed to side-step and Joe went tumblin\u2019 all the way down \u2018til he hit the great room floor with a mighty \u2018thud!\u2019.\u00a0 For a second he didn\u2019t move. \u00a0Then Joe sat up, looked around to see who was lookin\u2019, and let out the loudest, longest Gosh-awful wail you ever heard.<\/p>\n

Jasper was taking the steps two at a time, his belt in his hand.<\/p>\n

Hoss beat him to the bottom.\u00a0 \u201cI told you he was a cry baby,\u201d he said quickly. \u00a0\u201cYou hit him and he\u2019ll just cry louder.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bad man was breathin\u2019 hard.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll just have to shut him up \u2013 permanently \u2013 then.\u201d<\/p>\n

The ten-year-old swallowed hard. \u00a0He\u2019d been playin\u2019 up to Jasper, tryin\u2019 to make him think he didn\u2019t like his baby brother no more than Jasper liked his.\u00a0 He\u2019d told the bad man how Little Joe always got his way and how Pa favored him, lettin\u2019 him get by with everythin\u2019. \u00a0He thought \u2013 maybe \u2013 if he could get Jasper to trust him, he could talk him into lettin\u2019 him go into the office with him.\u00a0 When they got upstairs, he\u2019d remembered somethin\u2019.\u00a0 There was a little slip of paper inside Mama\u2019s jewelry box, under the velvet lining, with numbers on it.\u00a0 It was the combination to the safe in the upstairs closet where Pa kept the diamonds Mama wore at her wedding.\u00a0 Pa said they were too \u2018temptin\u2019 to be left in the jewelry box and that he wanted to be sure they were safe so Little Joe\u2019s bride could wear them one day.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s \u2018bride\u2019.\u00a0 That sure did sound funny.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can get him to be quiet,\u201d Hoss said as he knelt before his brother, moving between Jasper and Joe before the bad man could hit him with his belt.\u00a0 Little Joe looked so pitiful he just wanted to pick him up and squeeze him, but if he did, all his hard work would be for nothin\u2019 and he\u2019d never get into that office.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 Little Joe, you look at me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his stern tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t want to go to the woodshed, you better stop that whinin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

His baby brother blinked.\u00a0 For a moment Joe looked mighty confused, then he stuck his chin out and yelled,\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t whup me!\u00a0 You ain\u2019t Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the oldest here.\u00a0 That means I get to be <\/em>Pa and I can!\u201d he countered sharply, feelin\u2019 about two inches high.<\/p>\n

Joe was thinkin\u2019 that one through.\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2019s older,\u201d he said at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but Adam ain\u2019t here.\u00a0 I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut him up now, kid,\u201d Jasper growled as he hit the belt against his palm.\u00a0 \u201cOr I will.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t an idle threat.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, Jasper\u2019s kid brother chose that moment to reappear.\u00a0 He was carrying a tray with what was left of the chocolate cake on it.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 stomach growled at the sight.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t here before,\u201d Dawson said.<\/p>\n

Jasper muttered an oath and then stepped over Little Joe, headed for his brother.\u00a0 Grabbing him by the collar he dragged him toward the kitchen wing.\u00a0 \u201cYou get back in there you good-for-nothing…. \u201d<\/p>\n

As the two men disappeared, Hoss leaned in close to Joe and said, \u201cLittle Joe, don\u2019t you get upset.\u00a0 I\u2019m playin\u2019 a game with Jasper.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretendin\u2019 I\u2019m just like him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sniffed.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s not nice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he ain\u2019t.\u00a0 But Joe, I gotta play this game.\u00a0 You gotta trust me.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry if I say somethin\u2019 to hurt you, but \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u00a0 Kid!\u00a0 What\u2019re you whispering about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss held his brother\u2019s gaze for a moment and then said, \u201cI was just tellin\u2019 Little Joe he\u2019d better shut up or I\u2019d make him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper halted by the table behind the settee.\u00a0 He leaned against it and crossed his arms.\u00a0 \u201cThat<\/em> I\u2019d like to see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe was lookin\u2019 at him with those big green eyes of his, with all the trust in the world shinin\u2019\u2019 way deep down inside them.\u00a0 Hoss closed his eyes, drew a deep breath \u00a0\u2013 and then he slapped his baby brother.<\/p>\n

Hard.<\/p>\n

Right on the face.<\/p>\n

The sound reverberated through the room.<\/p>\n

Hoss winced, waiting for Little Joe to cry.\u00a0 Instead, there was nothin\u2019.<\/p>\n

Just…nothin\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, that was good, Hoss,\u201d Jasper said as he crossed to where he had put Mama\u2019s jewelry box down and opened it up.\u00a0 \u201cI guess you ain\u2019t pretendin\u2019.\u00a0 You really do<\/em> hate him.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was lookin\u2019 right at Joe.\u00a0 His baby brother was starin\u2019 up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said, swallowin\u2019 over his misery.\u00a0 \u201cI hate him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, kid!\u00a0 Look here!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jasper had found the paper with the code.\u00a0 Just like he wanted him too.\u00a0 Maybe now he could save them all.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned back to his brother.\u00a0 Little Joe was still starin\u2019 at him, lookin\u2019 like he\u2019d lost his best friend.<\/p>\n

\u2018Cause he probably thought he had.<\/p>\n

Hoss reached out toward him.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, I….\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother drew back, terrified.<\/p>\n

Jasper\u2019s hand came down on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cForget him.\u00a0 Come on, kid.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see what your old man has in his safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had no choice.<\/p>\n

Leaving Little Joe sitting on the floor, Hoss followed the outlaw into his father\u2019s office.\u00a0 As Jasper knelt by the safe, he went to stand by the right hand drawer \u2013 the one with the gun in it.\u00a0 Adam said he would leave it loaded and the drawer unlocked. \u00a0All he had to do was catch a second \u2013 one<\/em> second when he could take it out and point the pistol toward Jasper and….<\/p>\n

And….<\/p>\n

Do whatever he had to do.<\/p>\n

Hoss glanced over his shoulder.\u00a0 Dawson had come back in and was standing by the table eatin\u2019 a piece of chocolate cake.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t really think he had to worry about him.\u00a0 If Jasper went down, he was pretty sure Dawson would run.\u00a0 He felt sorry for the way Jasper treated his brother, but part of what the bad man said was true.\u00a0 Dawson wasn\u2019t very smart.<\/p>\n

Hoss held his breath as he heard the tumblers click.\u00a0 Pretty soon Jasper would figure out he had the wrong combination and he\u2019d be mad as a peeled rattler.\u00a0 Hoss edged his hand toward the drawer.\u00a0 He was afraid it was going to make a noise when he opened it, so he knew he\u2019d have to open it fast.\u00a0 Jasper was mutterin\u2019 under his breath.\u00a0 He was tryin\u2019 the combination a second time.\u00a0 Hoss kept one eye on him and the other on the drawer as it inched open \u2013 one, two, three inches.\u00a0 Almost <\/em>enough to work his fingers in and take hold of the gun.\u00a0 Almost \u2013<\/p>\n

Jasper stood up.<\/p>\n

Hoss moved so he was in front of the opened drawer.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t it work?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 Jasper ripped the paper in half and threw it to the floor.\u00a0 \u201cThere must have been another slip of paper in there,\u201d he said as he rounded the desk.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna make it hotter than the hubs of Hell for Ben Cartwright if there ain\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss watched him go and then looked down at the drawer.\u00a0 Trembling, he pulled it open.\u00a0 His hand slid in and his fingers closed around the gun\u2019s handle.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, it\u2019s gonna be a scorcher all right, but not for Pa,\u201d he said as pulled the pistol out of the drawer and pointed it.<\/p>\n

Straight at Little Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

EPILOGUE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright was numb.\u00a0 He sat beside the fire holding his baby brother, speaking soft words and rocking Little Joe while he sobbed inconsolably.\u00a0 Hoss wasn\u2019t much better.\u00a0 The ten-year-old was seated on the settee across from them.\u00a0 He had his head in his hands and was quietly weeping.\u00a0 Mrs. Guthrie was in the kitchen putting together a poultice to put on Joe\u2019s wound to take some of the fire out of it.\u00a0 Before she left the great room she had come to him and placed a hand on his shoulder and waited until he looked up.\u00a0 Then she\u2019d handed him a glass of whiskey.<\/p>\n

\u2018Drink it down, Adam.\u00a0 Think of it as medicine,\u2019 the older woman said, looking at him with sympathy.<\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes and sighed.\u00a0 He still couldn\u2019t wrap his mind around what had happened.\u00a0 He\u2019d approached the house expecting to find the lights out and everyone asleep.\u00a0 After all, it was nearly three in the morning.\u00a0 Instead the house had been brightly lit and a pair of strange horses were tethered outside.<\/p>\n

The teen knew then his gut instinct to return had been right.<\/p>\n

Dismounting, he left his horse near the barn and approached the house on foot.\u00a0 After making his way to the porch, he\u2019d paused, listening. \u00a0Hearing nothing, he\u2019d decided to enter and had thrust the door open and stepped in with his weapon drawn.<\/p>\n

Absurdly, the first thing he \u2018d seen was a tall, lean stranger with blond hair whose mouth was covered in chocolate icing.<\/p>\n

The second was Hoss pointing their father\u2019s gun at Little Joe.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d barely had time to demand, jaw tight, \u2018What the Hell <\/em>is going on?\u2019 before he noticed a second man \u2013 one with eyes like a snake \u2013 standing by the hearth.\u00a0 He had Marie\u2019s jewelry box in his hands.\u00a0 As he watched the box fell and the man went for his gun.<\/p>\n

Two shots split the night.\u00a0 The sound of both reverberated off the hearth stones and filled the room where he and his father and brothers normally sat reading, writing, talking, and\u00a0 playing games \u2013 just living their lives.\u00a0 The one he fired took the outlaw in the chest.\u00a0 The man\u2019s mouth gaped open in surprise and he fell to the floor stone dead.\u00a0 The blond man with the mouth full of cake stood there a moment and then turned tail and ran.<\/p>\n

It took a sob to break into the unnatural calm that descended on the room after that.\u00a0 At first he thought it was Little Joe.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

It was Hoss.<\/p>\n

Little Joe<\/em> looked like a broken rag doll.\u00a0 He was lying on the floor and there was a red stain slowly spreading across his forehead.<\/p>\n

Adam shifted in his chair, unnerved by the possibilities, and pulled his little brother closer.\u00a0 After spotting Joe, his gaze had gone to the gun beside the dead outlaw and his heart had nearly stopped when he realized it<\/em> wasn\u2019t smoking. \u00a0Two steps took him to his brothers\u2019 side.\u00a0 Hoss had dropped their father\u2019s gun and picked up Little Joe.\u00a0 The ten-year-old sat on the floor cradling the tiny boy while tears ran down his chubby cheeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI killed him, Adam! \u00a0I killed<\/em> Little Joe!\u201d Hoss wailed.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to!\u00a0 I swear, I didn\u2019t know he was there!\u00a0 He must of got up off the floor and come lookin\u2019 for me while I was pullin\u2019 the gun out of the drawer.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know he was there \u2018til….\u201d<\/p>\n

He remembered drawing a deep breath and looking down. \u00a0Little Joe\u2019s eyes had been closed and he was very pale.\u00a0 The blood from his forehead was trailing into his curls \u2013<\/p>\n

And he was moving.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d nearly fainted.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, Joe\u2019s not dead.\u00a0 Look.\u00a0 Hoss, look!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His brother, though numb, had responded to his command and looked down.\u00a0 At that same instant Little Joe moaned and reached up toward the spot where the bullet from their father\u2019s gun had grazed him.\u00a0 His eyes opened and his lips parted and he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201c…Pa….\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned his head against the chair back and sighed.<\/p>\n

Dear Lord, what could<\/em> have happened!<\/p>\n

A hand on his shoulder brought his eyes open.\u00a0 The teen looked up to find Mrs. Guthrie studying him.\u00a0 He nodded his thanks as the older woman handed him the poultice.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you<\/em> all right?\u201d he asked her.<\/p>\n

\u201cPshaw!\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 How is the little one?\u201d<\/p>\n

Alive, he thought.<\/p>\n

Alive.<\/p>\n

It had been while they were settling Little Joe on the settee for the first time, tucking blankets around him and speaking soft words to assure the tiny boy that everything was all right, that Hoss remembered to tell him Mrs. Guthrie was tied up in the kitchen.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t wanted to leave his brothers alone, but he did so in order to free her.\u00a0 When she asked him why he\u2019d come home, he\u2019d explained that he couldn\u2019t shake the feeling that something was wrong.\u00a0 At first he\u2019d tried to put it off to the fact that he was uneasy leaving a woman alone with two little boys so far from town, but that didn\u2019t wash.\u00a0 He knew Harriet Guthrie was more <\/em>than competent.\u00a0 No, there had been something else \u2013 something most people would have called an \u2018intuition\u2019.<\/p>\n

Pa would have called it the voice of God.<\/p>\n

Adam glanced at the little boy now sleeping in his arms and then he looked at Hoss.\u00a0 Rising, he placed Little Joe back on the settee, tucked him in again, and then motioned for to the ten-year-old to follow him to the foot of the stair.\u00a0 \u00a0Then \u2013 gently \u2013 \u00a0he asked Hoss to tell him what had happened.\u00a0 His brother wouldn\u2019t \u2013 or couldn\u2019<\/em>t.\u00a0 For the longest time all he could do was cry and shake his head.\u00a0 Finally, when Hoss did <\/em>speak, it was in a choked voice and through a veil of tears.\u00a0 And what he said had nothing to do with what happened.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t never gonna be the same again, Adam,\u201d he said, his young heart broken, \u201cwith Little Joe and me.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t never <\/em>gonna trust me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Present<\/p>\n

Hoss fell silent.\u00a0 He stared at his hands for a long moment and then glanced up at his baby brother.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe looked about like he had when he woke up after that rat Fenton done tried to smother him.\u00a0 His skin was pale and had a sheen to it.\u00a0 He was breathin\u2019 hard and his fingers were all twisted up with his covers.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t remember any of it,\u201d Joe said, his tone flat.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think you would, little brother.\u00a0 You was only a little squirt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s twice.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man frowned. \u00a0\u201cTwice?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwice I\u2019ve forgotten something really<\/em> important.\u00a0 First Eagle\u2019s Nest.\u00a0 Now this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI been thinkin\u2019 about that, Joe.\u00a0 It does seems \u2018bout like the same thing.\u00a0 You know, I remember me Adam talkin\u2019 about somethin\u2019 called the sub<\/em>-conscious and how it<\/em> remembers what we forgot.\u201d<\/p>\n

His brother\u2019s green eyes darted to him.\u00a0 There was a hint of humor in them.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean you were listening?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMore often than older brother gave me credit for.\u201d He sort of smiled too.\u00a0 \u201c\u2018Bout like you, I imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe scowled.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s…scary.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLosing time.\u00a0 Losing…things.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked him square in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think I\u2019m goin\u2019 crazy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you are, you got company.\u201d The big man shifted back in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Joe, I think there\u2019s just some things a man ain\u2019t meant to remember.\u00a0 Maybe \u2018cause they\u2019s too hard, or they hurt too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a desperation in his brother\u2019s voice. \u00a0\u201cThat just means he\u2019s weak.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it don\u2019t, Joe.\u00a0 It just means he\u2019s human.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s jaw grew tight.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t see you<\/em> forgetting anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss closed his eyes \u2013 and instantly regretted it.\u00a0 He could still see that little face with those wide trustin\u2019 eyes, smack-dab in the center of the sight of his Pa\u2019s Colt .45.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I could, Joe.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know how much I wish I could<\/em>.\u00a0 I might\u2019ve killed you.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss paused.\u00a0 \u201cI almost did.\u201d\u00a0 Before Joe could protest, he went on, \u201cBut that weren\u2019t the worst thing.\u00a0 The worst thing was lookin\u2019 into those usually trustin\u2019 eyes of yours and seein\u2019 you was scared of me and knowin\u2019 \u2013 maybe \u2013 you\u2019d never trust me again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The words were shot straight from his little brother\u2019s hip and<\/em> heart.\u00a0 Joe believed them.<\/p>\n

He knew better.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think you do.\u00a0 Not in that there sub<\/em>-conscious of yours.\u00a0 Else you wouldn\u2019t have seen me holdin\u2019 that gun on you, talkin\u2019 about a \u2018scorcher\u2019 and smilin\u2019 when you was dyin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared at him for the longest time and then rested his head back on the pillows.\u00a0 \u201cIf I remember right, Adam said we had no control over the sub-conscious.\u201d\u00a0 When he said nothing, Joe turned and looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cRight?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019d Adam know?\u201d<\/p>\n

That brought a shadow of Joe\u2019s infamous giggle.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re just as blockheaded as he was,\u201d his brother said as he closed his eyes.\u00a0 For a moment Hoss thought Joe\u2019d drifted off, but then those wide eyes that had been lookin\u2019 at him for nigh onto thirty years opened and fixed him.\u00a0 \u201cYou know?\u00a0 I do<\/em> remember one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

The big man shifted uncomfortably.\u00a0 \u201cYou do, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s kind of vague.\u00a0 I remember waking up in my room later that night.\u00a0 Pa was there, sittin\u2019 on the edge of the bed, which I thought was kind of strange.\u00a0 I asked him why he was and he said you told him that I needed him.\u00a0 He said he understood now that we all<\/em> needed him and he was going to stay for good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did, Joe.\u00a0 What happened that night done scared Pa for sure.\u00a0 He could of lost all three of us.\u00a0 After that, Pa didn\u2019t go away no more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe carefully rolled over so he could look straight at him.\u00a0 \u201cSo, you see, brother, the only thing I<\/em> remember is that you<\/em> were the one responsible for Pa comin\u2019 back.\u00a0 I knew whatever you did that night \u2013 even though some of it seemed pretty funny to me \u2013 was so he would.\u00a0 My sub<\/em>-conscious may have blamed you for what happened \u2013 may have even stopped trusting you \u2013 but this boy\u2019s conscious knew who his best friend was.\u201d\u00a0 Joe reached out and circled his wrist with his fingers.\u00a0 \u201cAnd is<\/em>,\u201d he added softly.<\/p>\n

Hoss sniffed.\u00a0 \u201cIs it okay if I get mushy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cIf you have<\/em> to, you big lug.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Those green eyes lit, brighter than he had seen them do since Joe had been bushwhacked.<\/p>\n

\u201cBig brother, I love you too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Angst,\u00a0brothers,\u00a0ESA,\u00a0ESH,\u00a0ESJ,\u00a0Family,\u00a0Hoss Cartwright,\u00a0Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: This piece is a WHN and WHB for season thirteen’s ‘Bushwhacked!’.\u00a0 Even as a child I was troubled by Joe’s fever dream image of his beloved brother Hoss pulling out a pistol and shooting him.\u00a0 I have read a lot of fan fiction’s based on Bushwhacked and though a few have tackled the issue, none have to my satisfaction.<\/p>\n

This is my idea of how and why Joe might have thought his big brother was trying to kill him.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated PG-13 for angst, some violence, and vile characters
\nWord count: 13,660<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10058,"featured_media":30476,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,30,616,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","category-whb","category-whn","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id","wpcat-616-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3188,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Joe-Hoss-brown-.jpg?fit=1936%2C1985&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2282,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2282","url_meta":{"origin":17123,"position":0},"title":"A Sure Thing (by JoanS)","author":"JoanS","date":"September 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0A traveling rodeo comes to town and Joe enters the competition Rated: K (8,475 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Action\/Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Action\/Adventure","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/saddle-bronc.png?fit=216%2C233&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3678,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3678","url_meta":{"origin":17123,"position":1},"title":"Pa’s Favorite (by Meg)","author":"Meg","date":"August 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Ages: Amelia 1; Little Joe 7; Hoss 13; Adam 19 \u00a0Description: Little Joe becomes jealous when Ben starts to pay more attention to little sister Amelia prompting Joe to think that Amelia is Pa's favorite. 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