Summary – Adam Cartwright and Lotta Crabtree were supposed to be strangers when her carriage broke down on the Ponderosa, but something in their demeanor seemed to say otherwise.\u00a0 Based on the episode A Rose for Lotta. Dialogue in the last chapter is from the episode written by David Dortort.<\/p>\n
Rating – T<\/p>\n
Word Count – 7909<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Passions and Dreams<\/strong><\/p>\n 1847 – Boston<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cCome on Cartwright.\u00a0 You were all fired up to see this show and now you\u2019re going to make us late. You know they won\u2019t seat anyone after the show starts.\u201d<\/p>\n Flustered by having stayed late with a professor, which made him late for dinner and late for getting ready for the show, Adam tried for a third time to get his tie tied.<\/p>\n \u201cHere, let me do that! You\u2019re all thumbs tonight.\u201d\u00a0 Jackson Pennington stepped in front of Adam and swatted his hands away.\u00a0 His nimble fingers had the tie tied to perfection in a matter of seconds. Spinning around he reached for Adam\u2019s jacket and tossed it to him.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I took it upon myself to show you the ropes around this school, I never figured it would include tying your tie for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam scowled at this friend as he slipped his jacket on, grabbed his ticket and playfully shoved his friend out the door. \u201cSince we\u2019re in such a hurry I suggest you stop chattering and get a move on.\u201d<\/p>\n xXxXx<\/p>\n Seated in box seats near the stage the two college friends were joined by four other friends. It was the last performance of Little Nell and the Marchioness<\/u>, starring Miss Lotta Crabtree.\u00a0 Adam had seen a flyer posted in the common hall at school and wanted badly to see it, as it was a musical based off Charles Dickens\u2019 The Olde Curiosity Shop<\/u>.\u00a0 His problem was he didn\u2019t have the money for the ticket.\u00a0 He felt he was lucky enough just to be at the school so was very careful how he spent his money from his father. Jackson had come up behind Adam and quietly mentioned that his father had permanent box seats at the theater and Jackson was allowed to take his friends.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s grin reflected Jackson\u2019s, and the matter was settled.\u00a0 Now the six friends quieted down as the lights dimmed and the music began.<\/p>\n The show was everything Adam could have imagined.\u00a0 Miss Crabtree, being only sixteen, was perfect for portraying Little Nell.\u00a0 Adam and the other students sat mesmerized through the entire performance as part of Dickens\u2019 story was brought to life.<\/p>\n After the show, elite ticket holders were invited to meet Miss Crabtree in a small room backstage.\u00a0 Jackson conveniently failed to mention that part to Adam so he was thrilled at a chance to meet the actress.\u00a0 When Adam introduced himself to her she smiled shyly and proffered her hand.\u00a0 He met her eyes, took her hand and softly kissed the back, all the while never breaking his gaze with her pale green eyes. Miss Crabtree lingered for a moment then turned away to greet other guests.\u00a0 After the other guests had left, Jackson found Adam and Miss Lotta sitting to themselves laughing over some of Lotta\u2019s tales of rehearsals.\u00a0 They had been swapping stories for nearly a half hour. Before Jackson could interrupt, an older woman appeared and snatched Lotta away, giving Adam a threatening look if he dared say anything.\u00a0 Lotta mouthed an apology to Adam before she disappeared through a side door.<\/p>\n On the carriage ride back to the dormitory, Jackson could tell that Adam was smitten with the young actress.\u00a0 He nudged his friend in the ribs. \u201cYou best lose that moonstruck look.\u00a0 You\u2019re just one of hundreds who fall for her charming smile and doe eyes. Besides, isn\u2019t she a bit young for you? Well, doesn\u2019t matter since you\u2019ll never see her again anyway.\u00a0 Tonight was the last performance, or had you forgotten that after you got swept off your feet.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave a sidelong glance to this friend.\u00a0 \u201cNo I hadn\u2019t forgotten, Jackson, and she\u2019s sixteen.\u00a0 Oh, and I don\u2019t think I\u2019m just one of hundreds. She told me it was the first time she had enjoyed a real conversation, and not someone trying to get a date with her. Besides, she\u2019s not leaving tomorrow.\u00a0 She has a day off before heading back to New York.\u00a0 I offered to show her around Boston and she accepted.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gave his friend a self-satisfied look.<\/p>\n \u201cSuit yourself, but I\u2019d be wary of that woman who took her away tonight.\u00a0 You could be heading for some trouble with her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n After arriving back at the college, the two friends left the carriage and bid each other good night as they entered their dorm lobby.\u00a0 Later Adam took a while to fall asleep as he reclined on his back in bed with his hands behind his head, images of Lotta playing in his head.<\/p>\n xXxXx<\/p>\n Borrowing one of the college\u2019s carriages for the day, Adam pulled up in front of Lotta\u2019s hotel.\u00a0 Stepping out of the carriage he was about to greet the doorman when Lotta came through the door. Adam\u2019s breath caught when she smiled sweetly at him and paused at the top step. Lotta\u2019s dark hair fell upon her shoulders in soft waves accenting her white silk blouse with a lace collar and cuffs. Her deep blue silk skirt billowed lightly around her in the gentle breeze. She carried a parasol, gloves and a matching blue jacket.<\/p>\n She paused long enough to speak to the doorman, giving Adam a moment to admire her beauty. \u201cWhen my mother returns please tell her I\u2019m out with a friend and I\u2019ll be back by dinner time.\u201d\u00a0 The doorman nodded once and watched her enter the carriage with the young man.\u00a0 He sighed, knowing Missus Crabtree would not be pleased at all.<\/p>\n Once underway, Lotta looped her arm around Adam\u2019s and asked quietly, \u201cWhat have you got planned for us today, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was caught off guard by Lotta\u2019s closeness but soon recaptured his confidence, \u201cWe\u2019ll drive around for a bit and I\u2019ll show you some sights, then we\u2019ll stop for a picnic at a park.\u00a0 After that, you can tell me what you\u2019d like to do for the rest of your day off.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled warmly at her upturned face, the horses carrying on a soft clip-clop over the cobblestone street.<\/p>\n Lotta settled in beside Adam and smoothed down her skirt. \u201cI think it all sounds divine.\u201d<\/p>\n The morning progressed well and Lotta enjoyed seeing the historical parts of the city and the campus where Adam attended college.\u00a0 For their picnic, Adam had chosen a quiet park with some secluded areas.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want their time together to be interrupted by fans.<\/p>\n During lunch the couple talked of many things, Adam\u2019s family and his dreams of designing buildings, her dreams of stardom and how she started in show business at a young age.\u00a0 \u201cYou see Adam, that lady from last night is my mother, and my agent.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid she keeps a tight rein on me. I have a regular daily schedule I follow.\u00a0 That\u2019s why a day like this is so special.\u201d\u00a0 She shifted to sit closer to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cMy mother would be mortified to know I was with a young man, unchaperoned, who is barely two years older than me.\u201d\u00a0 She brushed the back of his hand lightly with her finger tips.<\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t move his hand, enjoying her ministrations, but it made it difficult to be practical. \u201cI should have spoken to her first.\u00a0 That would have been the proper thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I should have let you but I knew she would say no.\u00a0 Adam, I didn\u2019t want anything to ruin this day for me. Mother only sees me as a performer, and she doesn\u2019t understand that I would like to be around people my age and with my interests.\u201d She worked her fingers up his arm as Adam\u2019s face drew closer to hers.\u00a0 Her lips were warm and soft against his causing both to linger much too long.\u00a0 Breaking apart breathlessly, Adam reach up to stroke Lotta\u2019s dark hair.\u00a0 She cast her eyes downward until she felt Adam\u2019s fingers gently lift her chin upward. \u00a0She met his waiting lips again, this time their bodies drew as close as their lips.<\/p>\n Adam drew back and pulled a book of poems from the picnic basket.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, why did you stop?\u201d\u00a0 Lotta leaned closer, her breath a whisper against his cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I shouldn\u2019t have gone that far.\u00a0 I should be protecting your reputation.\u00a0 Let me read something to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta pouted as she sat back against a tree. Once Adam began reading she lost herself in his soft voice and the words of the poem.<\/p>\n \u201cYou read so beautifully, Adam.\u00a0 Tell me, what was the poet trying to say?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe was saying that one can be passionate about anything and that\u2019s what can make dreams come true, but sometimes passion can get out of hand, become dangerous.\u201d\u00a0 His voice trailed off allowing the thought to linger.<\/p>\n Lotta stared into the distance then turned gentle eyes toward Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat you are saying is that there is some passion that needs a tighter rein, hmm?\u201d\u00a0 She trailed her fingers up his arm and over to his cheek before tapping his nose.<\/p>\n \u201cUm, yes, I guess so.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta let out a musical laugh.\u00a0 \u201cThen perhaps we should continue with the poetry.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled and found another poem to read.\u00a0 The couple spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the park and discussing poetry and Shakespeare.<\/p>\n xXxXx<\/p>\n As the evening light faded to dusk, Adam pulled the carriage to a stop in front of Lotta\u2019s hotel.\u00a0 He was reluctant to say goodbye and as he turned to say the words, he saw the same feelings reflected in Lotta\u2019s darkened eyes.<\/p>\n She proffered her hand to him which he took gently in his.\u00a0 \u201cI had a wonderful time today Adam.\u00a0 You are a most\u2026. talented… host.\u00a0 I shall miss you, of that you can be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam softly kissed her hand and looked into her eyes. His voice was low and husky.\u00a0 \u201cI am pleased you had the day you had dreamed of my lady.\u201d\u00a0 They remained still a moment longer, savoring the memories of their day together.<\/p>\n Adam then slowly stepped out of the carriage and moved to the other side to assist Miss Lotta. Their bodies touched for the briefest of moments then she was gone, disappearing through the ornate glass doors of the hotel.<\/p>\n Adam returned to the carriage and flicked the reins.\u00a0 His thoughts swirled around the images of\u00a0 Lotta\u2019s graceful beauty and their day together, wondering at how such a brief encounter could ignite such passions. From a parlor window, Lotta\u2019s sad eyes followed him down the street. Warmed by her memories of a dream come true they grew sad that she would never see this young man again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 1857 – San Francisco<\/strong><\/p>\n Lotta Crabtree sang and danced to a sold out crowd, as it had been for the last two nights. She moved seductively around the stage playing into the desirous looks of the gentlemen in the audience.\u00a0 The final act was always a crowd pleaser with the passion and exhilaration of the audience buoying her on to a resounding finale. Holding her final pose, she basked in the applause and the flowers being tossed onto the stage.\u00a0 One such bouquet slid straight to her feet. She bent gracefully to pick it up and caught the eye of a handsome, dark haired gentleman seated in the front row. Her smile faltered for a split second as his dimpled smile reawakened a distant memory. Slightly shaken, she broke the connection, waved to the audience and disappeared behind the closing curtains.<\/p>\n Retreating to the sanctity of her dressing room Lotta leaned against the closed door.\u00a0 Surprised by her rapid breathing, she realized it was not from the performance but due to the man whose bouquet of roses she now held. Laying the flowers on the coffee table she quickly changed into more comfortable attire.\u00a0 The white lace dress felt soft and comforting under a dark green silk floor-length jacket.\u00a0 She released her dark hair from their pins and slowly brushed out the long tresses.\u00a0 Lost in thought and having forgotten about the roses, she jumped at a quiet knock on her door.<\/p>\n Expecting the stage manager, who usually announced when her carriage had arrived to take her back to her hotel, she opened the door and froze, her eyes wide.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Lotta.\u201d The man\u2019s soft smile lit up his hazel eyes, highlighting his attractive face.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you again.\u00a0 May I come in?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf…of course.\u00a0 Please.\u201d\u00a0 She moved into the room and quickly picked up the roses.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for these. They\u2019re beautiful.\u201d\u00a0 She sniffed the flowers\u2019 fragrance in an attempt to gather her thoughts which were running wild in her head. \u201cAdam, it\u2019s good to see you again but I have to admit I never expected it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam tipped his head in acknowledgement as he quietly closed the door.<\/p>\n \u201cHow did you get by Phillip?\u00a0 He\u2019s under strict orders not to let anyone back here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can be rather persuasive.\u201d\u00a0 Adam replied, giving her a wink.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry, he\u2019s still a good guard.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta turned her back on him, not trusting all the different emotions running through her at the moment. When she spoke she tried to keep her tone neutral.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s been a long time, Adam.\u00a0 You\u2019ve changed quite a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTen years. And you\u2019ve changed too.\u201d He stepped closer to reach for her and turn her around. \u201cYou\u2019re more beautiful and if it\u2019s even possible, more talented.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s eyes slowly roamed over Lotta\u2019s face taking in her soft green eyes, her ivory skin, her plump red lips.\u00a0 Being this close brought back memories of their first encounter.<\/p>\n Lotta took a step back, having him that close to her ignited feelings she thought were long buried. \u201cHave a seat while I put these in water and get us something to drink.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d rather take you to dinner.\u201d His voice was smooth as silk and his dimples were peeking out.<\/p>\n Struck once again by his handsome features, Lotta knew she couldn\u2019t say no. She liked the idea of spending more time with Adam so she stood taller and cocked her head at him. \u201cI\u2019d like that but how about dinner in my suite instead?\u00a0 If we go to a restaurant it won\u2019t be very private. I\u2019m afraid we\u2019ll be bombarded by well-meaning fans.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lowered his head a bit as he scratched behind his ear. \u201cYou do seem to have a larger following than I recall from the last time we met. Alright, your suite then, but won\u2019t your, um, agent object?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy mother isn\u2019t here. She\u2019s on her way to Denver to prepare for my arrival there in two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cVery well then. I have a carriage waiting outside.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright. Give me a moment to pack my things.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam leaned against the door and watched as Lotta flitted around the room gathering small items to take with her.\u00a0 When she turned back around, her bag in one hand and the roses in the crook of the other arm, he couldn\u2019t help but be moved by how the years had added to her beauty.\u00a0 He bowed low before opening the door and putting on his hat.<\/p>\n \u201cYour carriage awaits, milady.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta, with her head held high and a spark in her eye, stepped past him. Adam closed the door quietly then reached for her bag and took her arm in his.\u00a0 Together they left the theater, no one the wiser, except the stage manager.<\/p>\n xXxXx<\/p>\n When dinner arrived it was nearly nine-thirty. The couple sat at the table, laden with fine china and two candles, enjoying Ratatouille and Tapenade Chicken paired with a French white wine. After dinner they moved to the sofa to enjoy a light dessert of Strawberry Trifles and coffee by the fire. Adam shared how much he enjoyed strawberries making Lotta blush with pleasure at her choice of desserts. Now relaxed with one another, they finished discussing the last ten years.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you\u2019ve become a rancher, much as you said you would Adam. Have you given up on using your college degree?\u201d\u00a0 Lotta finished her dessert and set the glass dish on the table.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2019ve been using it.\u00a0 I was able to make many improvements to our home and we built some new outbuildings – barns and a bunkhouse. There are more changes I\u2019d like to make but Pa doesn\u2019t accept change very well so I have to take it slow.\u201d\u00a0 Adam smirked as he sipped his coffee.<\/p>\n Settling in to the corner of the sofa, Lotta tipped her head and looked straight at Adam with serious eyes. \u201cTell me, why are you in San Francisco?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was puzzled by Lotta\u2019s sudden directness but chose to ignore it. \u201cI arrived yesterday so I could see your performance this evening. On Monday I begin contract negotiations with several restaurants and businessmen to see if we can begin selling Ponderosa beef in the city.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo I\u2019m not the only reason you\u2019re here,\u201d she smiled playfully at him.<\/p>\n \u201cI did say I made sure I got to see one of your performances.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know if I would have time to see any next week as some of the meetings are in the evening over dinner.\u201d\u00a0 Adam set his coffee cup down on the side table and shifted closer to Lotta. \u201cWhen will you be leaving for Denver?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn exactly fifteen days.\u00a0 I have a two week engagement there, then Mother and I will go to Kansas City.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHmm\u2026 sounds like you\u2019re making your way back to the East coast.\u201d<\/p>\n She sighed and rose to pour both of them some of the remaining wine. \u201cYes, I have several obligations over the next few months from New York down to Charleston.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you ever take a break, I mean longer than a day or so?\u201d Accepting the wine glass from Lotta as she sat next to him, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and inhaled the scent of lilacs from her hair.<\/p>\n \u201cThis engagement is my calmest one. I have the days free and a couple of the evenings. I\u2019m a professional now Adam.\u00a0 I have to plan around my rehearsal and performance schedule.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t leave much time for…other activities.\u201d<\/p>\n As that last thought hung in the air, Adam stared into the fire as he gently ran his fingers through Lotta\u2019s soft hair.\u00a0 She leaned into his caresses and closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his closeness overtake her. All conflicts began to melt away as the two shared a peaceful time by the fire sipping wine.<\/p>\n xXxXx<\/p>\n As the clock on the mantle struck midnight, Adam set his wine glass down on the end table and leaned back into the soft cushions of the sofa.\u00a0 Lotta shifted her position to lean against his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cI enjoyed your company for dinner tonight, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I yours.\u201d\u00a0 Adam slowly ran his fingers up and down her arm.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d guess we\u2019ve pretty much covered the past ten years.\u201d Lotta drew soft circles over the back of Adam\u2019s other hand that was trapped between the sofa and her body.<\/p>\n \u201cMm-hmm.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose you need to leave.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you have a business meeting tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTomorrow\u2019s Saturday. My meetings begin on Monday.\u201d<\/p>\n She sat up and looked him straight in the eye. The message was unmistakable so she rose, pulling Adam with her. Before she took two steps, he stepped in front of her and with a single finger tipped her chin upward.\u00a0 Leaning in he brushed his lips over hers, touched them lightly and after receiving a response, pressed more firmly.\u00a0 As they kissed, he felt her hands slide up his back as his hands moved around her waist, their bodies coming closer until they were pressed together as firmly as their lips. Adam tilted his head, breaking the kiss, and began trailing light kisses down her neck.\u00a0 Lotta responded by entangling her long fingers in the waves of his dark hair.<\/p>\n After another moment her hands found their way to his chest and she began unbuttoning his shirt, his tie and jacket having been discarded after dinner. Adam stepped back and gently took her hands in his.<\/p>\n \u201cNot here,\u201d he whispered as he led her into the bedroom.\u00a0 Once there, the couple took their time removing all the entrapments that kept them apart, then they took their time finding many ways to share the passions they had held back for so many years.<\/p>\n As the night hours drifted by, the couple slept, Lotta cradled in Adam\u2019s arms.\u00a0 The rising sun stretched its warm tendrils of light across the room, reaching the lovers and gently bringing them to wakefulness.<\/p>\n Adam lightly kissed the top of Lotta\u2019s head, inhaling her soft scent. He felt her body rise and fall as she sighed, contented to be in his arms.<\/p>\n \u201cGood morning.\u201d Adam\u2019s fingers lightly caressed Lotta\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n Another contented sigh, then she twisted to smile at him. His eyes were full of love. She rested her head on his chest to hear his heart beating, and began to draw delicate swirls through his dark chest hairs.<\/p>\n Noticing how bright the room was Adam made an observation as he ran his fingers up and down her back, \u201cI suppose it\u2019s too late for breakfast, that is if you\u2019re hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta felt Adam\u2019s chest vibrate as he spoke. She propped herself up on one arm and peered at him with an impish expression.\u00a0 \u201cAs a matter of fact, I can order breakfast at any time.\u201d\u00a0 She slipped from between the sheets and tugged on a strip of velvet hanging on the wall which rang a small bell.<\/p>\n Adam watched every move of her lithe body, his dark brows rising when she returned to his side.\u00a0 \u201cThe benefits of being a star. Someone will be here in about half an hour.\u00a0 I suggest we make ourselves presentable.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re already presentable to me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam pulled her down on top of himself and kissed her passionately.<\/p>\n Giving in for a moment she returned the kiss then pushed away and left him staring after her.<\/p>\n Heading into the dressing room, she called back to him.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s an extra robe in the wardrobe. I suggest you make use of it\u2026.for now.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled as her last words faded when the door closed.<\/p>\n XXxXx<\/p>\n The previous evening and breakfast the next morning were only the beginning of their time together in San Francisco.\u00a0 Adam was supposed to stay a week but he found an excuse his father would believe so he could stay until Lotta left for Denver.\u00a0 Between Lotta\u2019s performances and Adam\u2019s business meetings, the couple still managed to find plenty of opportunities to be together.<\/p>\n They went to other theater shows, took picnics in the park, and woke up many mornings together.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s negotiations went very well with three restaurants signing contracts and two more ready to do so before he left for home. The extra days gave him time to pursue other prospects for the beef.\u00a0 He knew his father would be pleased, despite his delay in returning home.<\/p>\n As their time together grew shorter, Lotta became more distant and Adam sensed it was her\u00a0 departure that had her in turmoil.\u00a0 Over dinner the evening before they were to bid each other farewell, Adam broached the subject with an idea.<\/p>\n \u201cLotta,\u201d he reached for her hand across the table, \u201cI know your departure tomorrow is weighing heavy on us of both.\u00a0 I have an idea that might fix that.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta studied Adam\u2019s face but could not discern what he had in mind.\u00a0 Whenever they were together she could always tell if they were thinking the same thing but not this time.<\/p>\n Adam continued when she didn\u2019t respond, \u201cI would like to meet you in Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo Adam, that would only make things more difficult.\u00a0 My mother will be there the entire time so I won\u2019t have a free moment to get away.\u00a0 Also, that would mean having to say goodbye a second time.\u201d\u00a0 Lotta looked out the window near their table.\u00a0 Seagulls flew wildly around the fishing boats in the bay.<\/p>\n \u201cI understand what you\u2019re saying but hear me out.\u00a0 My father\u2019s been wanting to see if we can set up any contracts for beef in Denver. Not just for the Ponderosa but for the other ranchers around Virginia City.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure I can talk him into letting me make the trip, especially after he sees what lucrative contracts I was able to negotiate here.\u00a0 What do you say to extending our time together?\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta remained silent but her face betrayed her. She was torn by the offer. Before anymore could be said their waiter arrived to take their order for dessert.\u00a0 Both declined so Adam paid the check and escorted Lotta out of the restaurant.\u00a0 It was still early, about two hours before Lotta\u2019s final performance so they agreed to walk to the theater instead of taking the carriage. After escorting her inside to her dressing room and leaving her with a gentle kiss, Adam headed back to his hotel to hold a final meeting with two clients who were ready to sign contracts for Ponderosa beef.<\/p>\n When Lotta checked out of her hotel the next morning, Adam was there to help her into her carriage. They had agreed not to spend that last night together but she couldn\u2019t prevent him from showing up that morning. Adam kept his emotions in check as he noticed Lotta was struggling to control hers. The final farewell was cool between them but both could tell from each other\u2019s eyes that there was a lot that remained unspoken. Adam took her hand in his and kissed the back of it, then kissed her on the cheek.\u00a0 He whispered that he loved her.\u00a0 Lotta pulled back at his words, smiled slightly, then boarded the carriage.\u00a0 The driver left in a hurry, leaving Adam alone on the sidewalk, watching the vehicle until it turned a corner and disappeared. His heart wrenched in two as he became more determined to see her in Denver.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 1857 – Denver<\/strong><\/p>\n Denver turned out to be much larger than Adam expected.\u00a0 As the stagecoach pulled into the station he and Ben were both taken aback by the hustle and bustle of the Western city.\u00a0 After checking into their hotel, Ben and Adam cleaned up and went in search of a hearty meal and some evening entertainment.<\/p>\n As they strolled down the boardwalk, Adam mused about how difficult it had been to convince his father to head to Denver so soon after San Francisco.\u00a0 Along the journey, Ben finally surmised there was more to the trip than Adam had let on.\u00a0 Late one evening, at a way station, Adam finally confessed that he and Lotta Crabtree had met years before in Boston then had rekindled that friendship in San Francisco.\u00a0 Ben was not too pleased about Adam\u2019s deception concerning that trip but he overlooked it as it had brought in some good money for the ranch.\u00a0 He could tell by the way he spoke that Adam had become smitten with Lotta. Adam confided that this was the last chance to see her and find out if there could be any future for them.<\/p>\n Adam knew they only had a week to find her before she left for Kansas City. Late one morning, between business meetings, Adam discovered where Lotta was performing.\u00a0 He purchased tickets for himself and Ben for that night\u2019s event. That evening, father and son found their seats and settled in for a stellar performance by Miss Lotta Crabtree.<\/p>\n As soon as Lotta disappeared behind the curtain at the end of the performance, Adam headed backstage with Ben close behind.<\/p>\n Two burly men were already stopping other men from getting to Lotta so Adam led Ben around the crowd by way of some back hallways. He finally found her dressing room and knocked.\u00a0 Before she could answer, one of the stage guards discovered them and threatened to call the police if they didn\u2019t leave. Adam stood his ground but the man bodily yanked him away from the door.\u00a0 At that moment, Lotta\u2019s door opened and she called out to the men,\u00a0 \u201cLeave them alone.\u00a0 They may come in but no one else.\u201d\u00a0 Her dark look was all the man needed to release Adam and stand aside.\u00a0 Once the \u201cguests\u201d entered Lotta\u2019s dressing room, the guard placed himself a few feet from the door, ready to assist Miss Lotta if the need arose.<\/p>\n Inside the room, Lotta didn\u2019t lose her dark expression.\u00a0 She glowered at Adam and spoke in low tones.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u00a0 I told you not to come.\u00a0 My mother will be back momentarily and you better not be here when she arrives.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLotta listen to me for a moment, please. If you could calm down I\u2019d like to introduce you to my father, Benjamin Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta took a deep, calming breath.\u00a0 She held out her hand to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cMister Cartwright, it\u2019s a pleasure to meet you.\u201d\u00a0 She flicked her eyes toward Adam then smiled charmingly at Ben as he took her hand and kissed the back of it.\u00a0 \u201cI see now from whom Adam got his good looks and gentlemanly manners.\u201d\u00a0 She invited them both to sit as she poured some champagne.<\/p>\n Ben was a bit overwhelmed by Lotta\u2019s sudden change in demeanor but he noticed Adam was not fooled by it at all. He thought it best to excuse himself and let the couple talk freely.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease excuse my abrupt departure, Miss Crabtree.\u00a0 It was a pleasure to meet you but I have need to return to our hotel for a late meeting.\u00a0 Adam, I\u2019ll see you there later?\u201d\u00a0 Adam inclined his head and Ben quickly left the room. Outside he saw a woman about his age heading toward the room.\u00a0 He intercepted her and, pouring on the Cartwright charm, led her away to another room for a discussion about the performance.<\/p>\n Inside Lotta\u2019s room the air was thick with emotions.\u00a0 Lotta began to pace but Adam quickly took her by the arms and just held her.\u00a0 She collapsed into his arms at that point, letting the last of her guard down with him.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, this is what I wanted to avoid.\u00a0 All the emotions of seeing you again and feeling your arms around me.\u00a0 Oh, how could you do this to me?\u00a0 Saying goodbye in San Francisco was hard enough but now I have to do it all over again.\u201d<\/p>\n Still holding her tightly, Adam let her get all her thoughts outs, then he spoke in a quiet voice, \u201cI had to come, Lotta.\u00a0 I wanted to know if we could have any future together.\u00a0 I love you and I know you love me. What do you say to getting out of here and talking about it somewhere more private?\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta pushed away from Adam\u2019s embrace and looked into his eyes.\u00a0 There was a sadness in them that she understood, but she also saw a desperation.\u00a0 Her mind raced to say no but her heart won out. \u201cAlright. Let me change first.\u00a0 I know a back way out.\u00a0 Where will we go?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have a place in mind, if you trust me.\u201d<\/p>\n Lotta paused long enough to respond with a wicked smile, \u201cOf course I do.\u201d<\/p>\n Half an hour later, while a couple stole away through the shadows of Denver, Missus Mary Ann Crabtree was saying farewell to the gracious, silver-haired gentleman, and would soon find the note her daughter left for her, explaining that she was with a friend and would return in the morning.\u00a0 Lotta\u2019s mother was not pleased in the least but knew there was little she could do at the moment. Ben returned to his hotel to find Adam missing.\u00a0 He too was not pleased and would make sure his son knew it in the morning.<\/p>\n In a small, but well-kept hotel, the couple talked long into the night. Through tears and frustrations both came to realize that Adam belonged on the Ponderosa and Lotta belonged on the stage.\u00a0 There was no way for the two lovers to make their lives fit together.\u00a0 Once all was finally settled, they gave into their passions once more.\u00a0 It was one of the most loving times they had shared together.<\/p>\n The next morning, Adam awoke alone to a sunny room. A note lay on the pillow beside him.\u00a0 He pushed himself up to sit against the headboard and read the last words he would get from Lotta Crabtree.<\/p>\n My dearest love,<\/em><\/p>\n You now know that I truly love you but we must leave it at that. You and I live in two different worlds and can never be together as we so strongly desire.\u00a0 All of our times together will be held in warmth and love within my heart.\u00a0 I hope that will be the same for you.\u00a0 I won\u2019t go down the path of \u2018if only\u2019, as that will not solve anything. It is what is meant to be, my love. <\/em><\/p>\n It is with a great deal of love and sadness that I say farewell to you.\u00a0 After my tours along the East coast, I will be sailing to Europe.\u00a0 We may never see each other again but you will always be in my heart.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Yours forever,<\/em><\/p>\n Lotta<\/em><\/p>\n Adam could sense the familiar smell of lilacs in the paper. Numb and not ready to deal with what had just happened, he remained in bed for quite a while before finally getting up, dressing and leaving the hotel.\u00a0 Closing the door to the room, he also closed the door to his heart as he headed back into his life as a rancher.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 1859 – Virginia City *<\/strong><\/p>\n It began with her arrival in Virginia City.\u00a0 Lotta Crabtree was scheduled for a brief stop in the small mining town on her way to Sacramento and San Francisco. Knowing the significance of the location she was concerned about a chance meeting and hoped it would be avoided.\u00a0 However, there was different meeting that set events in motion which sent her well-organized life spiraling out of control. The mine owners offered her a lot of money to ride around in the mountains and to lure a young man from the family who owned the land back to town. Easy enough, she thought, as she accepted the offer.<\/p>\n What she didn\u2019t realize was that she was about to meet someone whom she had hoped to never see again.<\/p>\n She had been enjoying the gentle ride through the forested hills when suddenly the driver took off in a panic. Not knowing what had happened she hung on for dear life. It had been a couple of minutes of wild riding through the countryside. After the wheel broke from the carriage and it came to a bumpy stop, she heard sounds of horses and voices of two men arguing with her driver. One of the voices sounded familiar but before she could identify it a gun was fired.\u00a0 Realizing the second man was becoming more threatening to her driver, Lotta decided to get involved. <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you kowtow to him driver, unless you want to answer to me!\u201d*<\/em><\/p>\n As Ben Cartwright and his boys looked toward the passenger compartment the window shade snapped up and a lovely, dark haired woman appeared.\u00a0 She glared at each man present then stepped out of the carriage. Recognizing one of them she pushed down her feelings and decided the best defense would be a good offense. She continued her rant toward the men before her. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cThe idea! The very idea of shooting at innocent, unarmed people and in broad daylight. If I\u2019d realized this is the way they treat people in Virginia City, I never would have come here.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Ben glared at the young woman, \u201cWell, this is not Virginia City ma\u2019am. You\u2019re on the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cThe Ponderosa. What\u2019s that?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>The driver spoke up, \u201cThe Ponderosa ma\u2019am.\u00a0 That\u2019s the home place of the Cartwrights. They got just about the biggest spread in the country.\u201d*<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Hearing the family name put Lotta on edge. An undercurrent of awakened emotions fueled her temper more toward being held up by these men. She demanded that the big man put his long weapon away, then complained to the young one about eyeing her like he\u2019d never seen a lady before. Finally, she had no choice but to address the dark man in the middle. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cYou\u2019re still pointing that gun at me, you know.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cI might still intend to use it.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was smooth as silk causing the lady to wonder if there was another meaning behind those words.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cPut it away son.\u00a0 Maybe they really did lose their way.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Adam smoothly slid his pistol back into its holder and draped his arms over his saddle horn, never taking his eyes off the lady.\u00a0 \u201cWell, as long as they get off the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>The lady closed the carriage door and looked at the empty axle, then turned a sardonic eye toward Adam. \u201cIt appears we\u2019re going to need some help if you expect us to honor that request.\u201d*<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>While Hoss immediately volunteered to assist with repairing the carriage, Ben asked Little Joe to escort the lady up to the house for a cool drink.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cThe lady happens to have a name, gentlemen. Miss Lotta Crabtree.\u201d Lotta announced quietly.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Joe and Hoss showed their surprise and pleasure at being in the presence of the famous actress. Joe smoothly dismounted his horse in order to assist Miss Crabtree into the saddle but Adam swooped in effectively blocking his younger brother. Rather unnerved by Adam\u2019s intense gaze and close presence, Lotta made brief eye contact before allowing Adam to lift her into the saddle. She also noticed Adam\u2019s father who had a reflective smile while watching the exchange between the two and as Adam touched his hat to her as she and Joe rode away. <\/em><\/p>\n When Lotta returned to town and she found a note asking her to meet with the business men again.\u00a0 This time they offered her more money if she would detain Little Joe Cartwright in her room after her performance. She grew nervous around them but agreed to do their bidding as long as they promised Joe would not be harmed. She considered herself to be an intelligent woman so how could she have been so fooled by those business men.\u00a0 A game, a lark, no!\u00a0 She was putting Adam\u2019s brother in danger because of her own lust for money and all that it afforded her.\u00a0 After her conversation with Little Joe that evening after her performance, Lotta realized she had lost sight of what was important in her life.<\/p>\n She nearly panicked that night when she saw two men heading to the hotel, knowing full well they were coming for her visitor, Little Joe Cartwright. After the fight and Joe\u2019s escape she determined to make things right but then Adam appeared and she found herself facing someone she knew intimately, yet had never met before.<\/p>\n \u201cGood evening, Miss Crabtree.\u201d*<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u2026 oh, I am so happy to see you.\u201d She tried her best to break through his coldness and anger. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cAre you? Where\u2019s my brother?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cHe was here.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry Adam, I didn\u2019t think this was going to happen?\u201d\u00a0 As she turned away Adam grabbed her arm. Her apology didn\u2019t appease him.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cWhat you thought or think doesn\u2019t interest me Miss Crabtree.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Lotta struggled to get out of Adam\u2019s tight grip. \u201cYou\u2019re hurting my arm!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cI\u2019ll break it!\u00a0 Where\u2019s the kid!\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cYou don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cUnderstand what?\u201d Adam hissed, \u201cYou and Alpheus Troy?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Lotta crossed the room after Adam released her. She had to find another way to get him to see her position. His dark eyes created a wall between them.\u00a0 The only thing she could do was tell him the truth. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cYou don\u2019t think much of me do you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cOn the contrary,\u201d Adam snapped, slowly advancing toward her, \u201cI think you did your job beautifully.\u00a0 It\u2019s not everyone who can lure a young fool kid to his death.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cThat isn\u2019t true.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know they wanted to hurt him. They said it would be a little trick, a sort of a game. Could I up go into the mountains and make one you follow me back to town.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cFor how much money?\u201d Adam was growing angrier by the minute, making Lotta become more frustrated and stubborn. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cMoney didn\u2019t have anything to do with it. Didn\u2019t you hear me just say it was a little game, a sort of a lark?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cOh I heard you. It doesn\u2019t mean I have to believe you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cOh!\u201d\u00a0 How dare he! They were arguing over a young man\u2019s safety, but their past was also rising up, fueling their emotions. His insinuations stung. Lotta brought up her hand to slap him.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Adam\u2019s quick reflexes caught her hand before it found its target. He held her wrist tightly. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Lotta fumed at him.\u00a0 \u201cLet go of me.\u00a0 Get your hands off me!\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Adam pivoted his arm drawing her very close until their faces were inches apart. His smoldering eyes roamed over her before he spoke in a low, cold voice, \u201cNext time Miss Crabtree, pick on a man\u2026.not a boy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>He released her wrist and gave her one last dark look before leaving the room to continue the search for his brother. Shaken to her core Lotta rubbed her sore wrist, unsure what to do next.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>With a sudden need to move Lotta circled her room trying to avoid the overturned furniture. She realized she had never seen Adam angry before but that\u2026.cold expression he had told her she had crossed a line.\u00a0 She had endangered one of his family.\u00a0 Now she felt like she\u2019d lost it all. Had she really so frivolously thrown it all away?<\/p>\n That awful truth had begun to creep in as the night wore on. She started to extinguish the lamps in the damaged room, when Joe suddenly reappeared and asked her most graciously to have dinner with him at that French Cafe he\u2019d mentioned earlier.\u00a0 She was shocked to see him all in one piece but then her relief took over.<\/p>\n Lotta hesitated briefly, afraid to have anything more to do with the Cartwright family, but reconsidered when she thought perhaps this would be a way to make amends with the whole family. She gladly accepted his invitation, changed her clothes and left the damaged room and fears of a broken friendship behind. She and Joe chatted amicably as they strolled across the street, he filling her in on his escapades over the last hour or so.<\/p>\n The Cafe owner was more than happy to provide a simple meal for the couple after Joe handed him a couple of bills. Once the meal was served the man began playing the harmonica. Joe stood and asked Lotta to dance.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Lotta was finally relaxing and beginning to think things could get better when a thunderous voice came from nowhere.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cYou…you scamp!\u00a0 Is this what you\u2019ve been doing all night?\u201d*<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cAll night, Pa?\u00a0 I, uh, I thought I was just gettin\u2019 started.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Lotta brought her hand up to Joe. \u201cIt was a great pleasure, Mister Cartwright.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Joe leaned down to kiss it but\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cOut, out you little rapscallion, before I\u2026 before I skin ya alive!\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Joe quickly kissed Lotta\u2019s hand and scooted through the doorway, squeezing between his Pa and Hoss. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>At that moment, Lotta locked eyes with Adam.\u00a0 His fiery anger was gone, replaced by something she couldn\u2019t determine. It was too much for her to hope this was the Adam she had loved for so long.\u00a0 Ben smiled softly when Hoss nudged Adam into the room as father and son retreated to the street.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Adam slowly strolled over to Lotta, neither breaking contact with their eyes. Lotta dipped her head demurely, her green eyes trying to judge Adam\u2019s thoughts as he removed his hat. He stopped close to her and shifted his eyes to the floor before looking back at her. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cLotta, I\u2026.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cI know\u2026.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201cDo you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>His right hand nestled her elbow as his left hand reached to turn her toward him. No words were needed now as their hearts beat as one once more. She could see the truth in his eyes, she was forgiven, their love was intact. Sensing his desire, Lotta closed her eyes, leaned toward him and felt his warm, open lips envelope her closed ones.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Adam kissed her with restrained passion. Although she didn\u2019t respond in kind, Adam knew differently what was in her heart.\u00a0 He could feel it pulsating through her body when they kissed. The passion was still there for both of them and he had let her know he knew she felt it too. Adam sensed Lotta was waiting for more but this time it was he who chose to walk away. <\/em><\/p>\n Lotta watched him leave, a sly, understanding smile breaking across her face. She stepped to the doorway just as he mounted up on his horse. Giving him a bright, lingering smile made Adam smile and tip his hat to her before he rode away. Lotta knew they had reached an understanding that encompassed not only the recent events but their entire relationship. <\/em><\/p>\n She knew he would never be out of her life or her heart ever again. <\/em><\/p>\n The next evening Lotta gave her final performance in Virginia City.\u00a0 Despite the small theater being filled beyond capacity, Lotta was able to distinguish four very handsome gentleman sitting near the stage. After the final act and two more curtain calls, she finally made it back to her hotel room. The manager had been gracious to give her a new suite, one which was larger with a sitting room separate from the bedroom.<\/p>\n Hours later unable to sleep, Lotta stood near the unused fireplace as flames from the low lamps created dancing shadows on the wall. The softness of her satin gown and robe helped ease her tensions. Her face relaxed from a frown to a soft smile as she sipped from her glass of champagne. After taking time to ponder the recent events, she had finally come to terms with what had happened.\u00a0 But it was knowing she and Adam had each come to fully accept their love for each other, despite having different lives, that made the events more acceptable.\u00a0 She closed her eyes as the last of the bubbly drink slid down her throat.<\/p>\n Warm hands slid over her satin gown and around her waist, gently pulling her backwards.\u00a0 She gasped for a second then relaxed against the broad chest, feeling it\u2019s warmth seep through her robe.\u00a0 Soft kisses were trailed down her neck before she turned in her lover\u2019s arms.<\/p>\n \u201cI missed you,\u201d he whispered against her neck.<\/p>\n Her green eyes roamed over his bare chest before meeting his amber eyes, revealing their souls.<\/p>\n \u201cIs everything all settled?\u00a0 You\u2019re at peace now?\u201d\u00a0 He continued to kiss her neck and shoulders between words.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m at peace, now and forever.\u201d\u00a0 She melted into his arms, tilting her head to receive his passionate kiss.<\/p>\n Adam gently lifted Lotta into his arms and carried her back to the bedroom. During the day they belonged to other lives but night time was theirs alone. A quiet giggle followed a deep chuckle as the lovers began to celebrate their love for each other.<\/p>\n ———————————<\/p>\n *A\/N – Scenes are excerpts taken from the episode A Rose for Lotta, written by David Dortort.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Lotta Crabtree<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n