Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0There’s never a dull moment with Little Joe around.<\/p>\n
Written for the 2018 Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament.\u00a0 The card \u201csuits\u201d were:<\/p>\n
Anatomy (body parts)
\nFears
\nWhat Women Want
\nThings Found in a Saddlebag<\/p>\n
Rated:\u00a0\u00a0 K+\u00a0 2,700 words<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A Little Excitement Goes A Long Way <\/strong><\/p>\n Little Joe scowled and propped his cheek against his fist as he turned the page in his primer.\u00a0 Throat-clearing from Miss Jones prompted him to look up, then adjust his posture to something more proper for the schoolhouse.\u00a0 He thought, \u201cPlease let it be Pa\u201d as the door opened.\u00a0 Hope dimmed within when he saw Miss Jones\u2019 face light up like the sun was shining on it.<\/p>\n Slow, deliberate footsteps sounded doom in Little Joe\u2019s ears.\u00a0 First, there\u2019d be a lecture from older brother.\u00a0 Then, there\u2019d be a lecture from Pa.\u00a0 Hop Sing might join in on the lecturing just to have someone to scold.<\/p>\n \u201cGood afternoon, Miss Jones.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy, Adam, I hadn\u2019t expected you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam cocked an eyebrow.\u00a0 \u201cYou sent a note.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh of magnificent proportion at Miss Jones\u2019 giggle.\u00a0 He had the decency to look down at his desk at her throat clearing.<\/p>\n \u201cIs your father . . . um . . . busy?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe sneaked a peek at his brother.\u00a0 Adam looked like one of the chickens when it realized Hop Sing wasn\u2019t holding it just to give it a pet or two.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Miss Jones.\u00a0 I put him on the stage to Placerville a few minutes ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Adam, call me Abigail.\u201d<\/p>\n He merely fidgeted with the hat in his hands as the silence lengthened.<\/p>\n The teacher cleared her throat again before getting down to business.\u00a0 \u201cYou read the note I sent with Hank?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n Little Joe thought his brother spoke too quickly.\u00a0 Maybe ol\u2019 bossy boots will be so eager to get away from Miss Jones he\u2019ll be in a hurry to get home<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cIf Little Joe delivered the report he was assigned, I don\u2019t understand why it would have been cause for consternation.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat a vocabulary,\u201d said Abigail.\u00a0 She toyed with the pendant on her necklace.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a smart, hard-working man who makes use of his education.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe noticed the teacher was all calf-eyed and smiling like Sara did when she looked at Seth.\u00a0 He rolled his eyes but refrained from making kissy sounds.<\/p>\n Adam cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cYour note said there was trouble.\u00a0 What did my brother do?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe children were assigned to report on a noteworthy incident which included a family member.\u00a0 Most of the children spoke of stolen kisses at dances, their fathers riding with a posse, or cattle roundups.\u00a0 Not Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe met his brother\u2019s gaze with confidence and a smile.\u00a0 Praise was praise as far as he was concerned.\u00a0 He held back a laugh at the sight of his brother\u2019s cocked eyebrow.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat exactly did Jos . . . Little Joe speak about?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cA duel.\u201d\u00a0 She said it in a conspiratorial whisper, as if she and Adam were in a crowded room.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyebrows drew together briefly.\u00a0 His mouth opened and closed a few times as if he knew anything he said might sound absurd.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Miss Jones . . . Abigail . . . but I don\u2019t understand why my brother\u2019s report is so upsetting.\u201d<\/p>\n Abigail walked to the back of her desk in a swish of skirts and pulled a small, metal whiskey flask from a drawer.\u00a0 She set it on the desk and stood ramrod straight with her hands clasped primly in front of her. \u00a0Her expectant expression left no doubt she demanded a reasonable explanation.<\/p>\n Adam took a deep breath and counted to ten before slowly exhaling through his nose.\u00a0 He looked at Little Joe through narrowed eyes.<\/p>\n Little Joe smiled broadly at his brother, a smile that usually resulted in instant forgiveness when directed at their father.\u00a0 His lips wilted at the fire in his brother\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna get it<\/em>.<\/p>\n The teacher pointed at the flask and broke the tense silence.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph told the class you were given this flask by General Jackson for services provided in a duel he had with your father, over his . . .\u201d she jerked her head in Little Joe\u2019s direction and whispered, \u201c. . . mother.\u201d\u00a0 Abigail cleared her throat and continued.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I\u2019ve always thought you sensible\u2014you\u2019re a smart, funny, hard-working man\u2014but really, encouraging your father to participate in bloodshed? \u00a0Why, you could have been orphaned!\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe dramatically wiped his nose as if his snort had really been a stifled sneeze.<\/p>\n Adam, still holding his hat tight, rubbed his thumbs within the hatband.\u00a0 His tone of voice cooled and his voice was clipped.\u00a0 \u201cMiss Jones, I assure you neither my father nor I have ever participated in a duel with General Jackson.\u00a0 The flask is mine, purchased above-board during my college days.\u00a0 Was Little Joe\u2019s tall tale the only cause for the note?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh my, no,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cSeveral of the children called Joseph\u2019s mother terrible names and even slandered your father.\u00a0 Joseph engaged in fisticuffs during recess with the worst of the boys who\u2019d besmirched his late mother\u2019s name.\u00a0 However, the larger issue occurred when the children returned from recess.\u00a0 I noted several of the boys staggering to their seats and the heavy aroma of whiskey wafting through the air.\u00a0 Why, I feared I\u2019d become inebriated from the smell alone.\u201d\u00a0 Noting the impatient glower on Adam\u2019s face, she continued.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I demanded to know the source, none of the boys broke their silence.\u00a0 I left Sara in charge and procured the services of Sheriff Coffee to lecture the children on the errors of displays of public drunkenness.\u00a0 It was only after a threat of arrest that Joseph produced the flask of whiskey.\u00a0 So, you do understand why I insisted your fa . . . you come to town?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Miss Jones.\u00a0 My father would not condone Little Joe\u2019s actions, even though he was defending his mother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut the whiskey!\u201d\u00a0 She pointed at Little Joe.\u00a0 \u201cSurely you mean to dole out the appropriate punishment for that transgression!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRest assured, my brother will be punished.\u00a0 Now if you\u2019ll excuse us, Miss Jones, I have to get to the bank before closing.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stretched forth a hand and Abigail handed the flask to him.\u00a0 He placed it within the breast pocket of his jacket for safe-keeping.<\/p>\n Little Joe slammed his book shut and stuffed it into his satchel.\u00a0 Adam set his hat upon his head and saluted the teacher with a finger against the brim.\u00a0 He held out an arm to usher his brother out of the schoolhouse.<\/p>\n When Little Joe was in reach, Adam steered his brother by the back of the neck and through the door.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s horse was tied to the hitching post, so the boy mounted up while Adam climbed into the buggy.<\/p>\n At the sound of the schoolhouse door, Little Joe turned for a look.\u00a0 The teacher was looking at Adam in the same eager way Hoss did at a juicy pork roast at suppertime.\u00a0 Little Joe ducked his head to hide his smile.\u00a0 I bet Adam\u2019s gonna need a slug from that flask<\/em>, he thought.<\/p>\n Abigail cleared her throat, getting Adam\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n \u201cMay I give you a ride home?\u201d Adam asked, stepping out of the buggy.<\/p>\n \u201cYou have business to attend at the bank,\u201d she said coyly.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t want to be a hindrance.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot at all,\u201d was Adam\u2019s murmured reply.<\/p>\n Little Joe tilted his head for a sly glance at his brother.\u00a0 He took in Adam\u2019s pained expression and thought, he sure thinks she\u2019s a bother<\/em>.<\/p>\n Adam assisted her into the buggy then climbed aboard.\u00a0 Once she was settled, he flicked the reins against the horse\u2019s rump.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you escorting anyone to the next dance?\u201d Abigail asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been too busy around the ranch to think about it,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n Little Joe tipped his head back and smirked.\u00a0 His brothers had spent the last week teasing each other about the girls who\u2019d dropped hints but, as far as Little Joe knew, neither one had yet decided which girl they would escort.<\/p>\n \u201cOh,\u201d said Abigail.<\/p>\n Little Joe could practically smell disappointment in the air.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease let me out here,\u201d said Abigail when they reached the far end of C Street.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll walk the rest of the way home.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy pleasure,\u201d said Adam.\u00a0 He assisted her out of the buggy and gallantly tipped his hat.<\/p>\n Little Joe nearly gagged at her curtsy.\u00a0 She\u2019s gone on that Walter Raleigh nonsense<\/em>.<\/p>\n Once Adam was certain they were out of the teacher\u2019s earshot, he got the horse moving again and then interrogated his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy did you go through my things?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was sharp enough to cut through a gristled piece of beef.<\/p>\n Little Joe adopted his best look of innocence.\u00a0 \u201cBecause your things are easier to find.\u00a0 Pa keeps things he don\u2019t want me to see locked in a trunk and Hoss doesn\u2019t have nothin\u2019 good.\u00a0 You got all sorts of stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat doesn\u2019t give you any right to steal into my room because you\u2019re looking for report fodder to impress your teacher or classmates.\u00a0 My journal is personal.\u00a0 That means its contents are none of your business.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut I needed a good story for my report.\u00a0 Everyone around here lives on a ranch or rides on a posse.\u00a0 You and Hoss break horses all the time.\u00a0 Nothing exciting ever happens to anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPlenty of things happen, Little Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s not our fault Ponderosa goings-on are nowhere near as exciting as the stories you make up.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe thought about that for the span of a few seconds.<\/p>\n \u201cBut it\u2019s true Pa dueled with General Jackson?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, it is not.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen how come you wrote it?\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe enjoyed seeing his brother squirm.<\/p>\n The muscle in Adam\u2019s jaw twitched and he mumbled a reply.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was that, older brother?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam fidgeted with the reins and his mouth barely seemed to move as he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cI wrote that to impress a friend when I was in college.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho\u2019s stretching the truth now?\u201d asked Little Joe.\u00a0 He raised both eyebrows as his attempts to raise only one had not yet succeeded.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you practicing to be a lawyer?\u201d Adam asked in a sarcastic tone as he set the buggy\u2019s brake.<\/p>\n Little Joe shook his head.\u00a0 Bossy boots is as stodgy and boring as Miss Jones<\/em>, he thought.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be out in a few minutes.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go anywhere,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n Adam jumped down and tipped his hat to a couple of ladies passing by on the sidewalk.\u00a0 He shot Little Joe a look over his shoulder then pointed at him in an unspoken command to stay put and went in the bank.<\/p>\n Since Little Joe\u2019s horse wasn\u2019t tethered to the hitching post, he wanted nothing more than to set a course for home but knew he would be in even bigger trouble if he did that.\u00a0 Pa would just get it over with and give him a necessary talk in the barn but Adam would give him a lecture that would go on \u2018til bedtime.\u00a0 Given a choice, he\u2019d rather be punished by Pa than Adam.<\/p>\n A gunshot boomed from within the bank and a woman screamed.\u00a0 A man clutching a sack of money ran out of the bank and only stopped long enough to glance along the street in both directions.\u00a0 Little Joe locked eyes with him for no more than a second or two.\u00a0 Before Little Joe could react, the man jumped over the hitching rail, grabbed the horn on Little Joe\u2019s saddle, and swung behind him onto the horse.\u00a0 Grabbing the reins from the boy\u2019s hand, the man yanked hard and kicked the animal\u2019s flanks. \u00a0The horse fought the bit then sprang into a gallop.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d Little Joe yelled.\u00a0 \u201cHelp!\u201d<\/p>\n *****<\/p>\n Adam burst through the doorway, gun in hand, but his leg gave way and he fell face-down in the street, blood seeping from a hole in his thigh.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shoved the pain aside and lifted the pistol with a shaky hand.\u00a0 Using his elbows as support, he used both hands to aim the pistol and held his breath as he fired. He loosed a ragged sigh of relief when the robber fell from the horse and didn\u2019t get back up.<\/p>\n Little Joe was nearly pulled off when the man went down, but he clung to the saddle horn with his hands, both feet on the same side of the horse and not touching the ground.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s position reminded Adam of a trained monkey he\u2019d seen at a circus back in Boston.\u00a0 With the pressure off its mouth, the horse kicked up its hooves and whirled in a couple of tight circles before coming to a standstill.\u00a0 Little Joe let go of the saddle horn and dropped to the street, raising a little cloud of dust.\u00a0 Once the boy was on his feet, Adam dropped his head and allowed his forehead to sink into the dirt.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Adam!\u00a0 \u201cYou brave, dear man!\u201d said Abigail Jones as she firmly pressed her palm against his back.<\/p>\n Adam gritted his teeth and was sure his molars would break against each other.\u00a0 His nose caught the sharp aroma of whiskey and he hoped Abigail had an open bottle with her.<\/p>\n \u201cYou deserve a medal for valor,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cI shall speak to Sheriff Coffee about it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d Little Joe hollered as he ran up the street to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cYou got him!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe got me, too, buddy.\u201d\u00a0 The bright world dimmed as Adam felt himself rolled over and droning voices saying doctor.<\/p>\n *****<\/p>\n Adam returned to awareness in the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 Nausea swirled in his belly from the combination of throbbing pain and the stench of whiskey.\u00a0 He feared the room would be spinning like a top if he opened his eyes.<\/p>\n A damp cloth pressed against his forehead. \u00a0\u201cHe\u2019s awake, Doctor,\u201d said Abigail.<\/p>\n Adam groaned at the sound of Abigail Jones\u2019 voice.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re lucky the bullet didn\u2019t lodge in the femur,\u201d said Dr. Martin.\u00a0 \u201cIt simply glanced against the bone and was easy to fish out.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be up and around in a week or two.\u00a0 I won\u2019t tell your father you had a flask of liquor on you\u2014I can\u2019t imagine he\u2019d be pleased to know you\u2019re drinking on the sly.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let Little Joe know he can come in.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Adam, you smart, funny man.\u00a0 You regaled us with jokes while the doctor removed the bullet,\u201d Abigail said.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t remember,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n \u201cSuch bravery in the face of danger, rushing from the bank like you did,\u201d Abigail said.\u00a0 \u201cLucky I wasn\u2019t yet home and saw it all so I could give an accurate accounting of events to Sheriff Coffee.\u00a0 I would be honored to accompany you to the next dance, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam kept his eyes closed, partly from the nausea and partly from the thought of escorting the teacher to the dance.\u00a0 She\u2019ll cling to me like a burr<\/em>.\u00a0 He groaned again.<\/p>\n \u201cThere, there,\u201d she said, dabbing the cloth against his forehead.<\/p>\n Little Joe burst into the room dragging his satchel and clutching the sack containing the payroll against his chest.\u00a0 He plopped down on the chaise lounge next to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cThat sure was some excitement!\u00a0 It ain\u2019t every day a robber takes me hostage.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIsn\u2019t, Joseph,\u201d corrected the teacher.<\/p>\n \u201cYes\u2019m.\u00a0 Just think, Adam, he picked me!\u00a0 You think he wanted to hold me for ransom!?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t dare open his eyes to test the speed at which the room might be going \u2018round and \u2018round. \u201cBut I saved you, Little Joe.\u00a0 Maybe you can do a new report, if it\u2019s all right with Miss Jones.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes,\u201d she said, eyes aglow with thoughts of her hero.\u00a0 \u201cYou may give a report tomorrow, Joseph, detailing your brother\u2019s bravery when faced with that dastardly robber.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe set the payroll sack between his brother\u2019s feet and reached into his satchel for Adam\u2019s journal. Adam spoke through gritted teeth.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe you should give an account of it to the newspaper.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh boy!\u00a0 Wait \u2018til Pa reads about this!\u201d said Little Joe.<\/p>\n Adam groaned and hoped for oblivion.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ~~The End~~<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Poker words\/phrases dealt to me were:<\/p>\n Leg (femur) Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0There’s never a dull moment with Little Joe around.<\/p>\n Written for the 2018 Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament.\u00a0 <\/p>\n Rated:\u00a0\u00a0 K+\u00a0 2,700 words<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":17834,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"A Little Excitement Goes A Long Way","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[158],"class_list":["post-17842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-challenges","tag-pppt","wpcat-40-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/PPPT-pic.png?fit=588%2C325&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17842"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17842\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/17834"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\u201cThis\u2019ll be lots better than that duel with the general.\u00a0 Just think\u2014me kidnapped by a bank robber.\u00a0 Seth and Mitch sure are gonna be impressed!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nMoney\/Wealth
\nA Smart, Hardworking Man
\nBook\/Journal
\nA Flask of Liquor<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"