{"id":18802,"date":"2018-11-06T17:15:21","date_gmt":"2018-11-06T22:15:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18802"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:40:09","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:40:09","slug":"whispers-by-arien","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18802","title":{"rendered":"Whispers (by Arien)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Summary<\/strong>: Final installment of Wavering series, Hoss&#8217; POV.<\/p>\n<p>Word Count: 3208<br \/>\nRating: K+<\/p>\n<p><strong>Wavering Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18633\">Wavering<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18632\">Silence<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18802\">Whispers<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Whispers<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o&#8217;er-fraught heart and bids it break.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u2014 William Shakespeare<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*****<\/p>\n<p>When I think back on the past six months, I can\u2019t help but feel angry at the Almighty. I know Pa\u2019s always said that things happen for a reason, and it\u2019s not our place to question. I just can\u2019t understand how taking Joe from us has taught us anything but pain and misery. I\u2019m not sure life will ever get better.<\/p>\n<p>For as long as I can remember, Pa\u2019s always had an air of authority about him. He stood tall and looked friend and enemy alike in the eye, not backing down in his beliefs. Now, he is a shadow of the person he was, and it almost kills me to know that there is nothing I can do to help. That\u2019s all I really want \u2013 to help my family heal, but there\u2019s nothing. Pa\u2019s voice has lost some of its power, making him sound much older than he really is.<\/p>\n<p>Adam . . . I\u2019d always figured he\u2019d leave the Ponderosa some day. He\u2019s a smart one and ranch life don\u2019t really let him do all the thinking he wants to do. All of us have known that \u2013 I know he didn\u2019t think no one had noticed, but I could tell he was pining for other places when his eyes would just sort of lose their focus. I know he was seeing places and things I\u2019d only gave a glance at during school. Adam wanted to see those places \u2013 not just read about them \u2013 help build the new towns springing up all over the country. Me? I was content to stay at home and, now, I figure Adam\u2019s given up on his dreams because he thinks he has to stay.<\/p>\n<p>Pa\u2019s pretty much given Adam and me run of the ranch, and I wish he\u2019d take it back. I never wanted to be \u201cboss\u201d, not like Joe did. Joe wanted to be seen as grownup \u2013 to be seen as equal with Pa and Adam. I don\u2019t know how to tell my youngest brother I\u2019d give him all the \u201cbeing boss\u201d he could handle if only he could come back to us.<\/p>\n<p>I know Pa and Adam want me to tell them everything that had happened back on the Bynum ranch, but I couldn\u2019t. I\u2019d given Roy that one statement and hadn\u2019t talked about it again. I don\u2019t remember a lot about doing it, but I have no trouble seeing the horror on their faces when I told them what had happened\u2014especially Adam since I knew he felt like he\u2019d let us down by not being there. I don\u2019t think he knows there wasn\u2019t anything else he could\u2019ve done for Joe. Older brother can accept a lot of things in this world except that he\u2019s only human and can do only so much. He figures he should be able to do more than any of us or die trying\u2014in his mind Joe died because he hadn\u2019t tried hard enough.<\/p>\n<p>I can\u2019t help but wonder, too, if he blames me in a way \u2013 that I should\u2019ve been able to stop it all from happening since I was there. That\u2019s something else Adam can\u2019t stand \u2013 failure in others and, sure as the sun rises, I feel like he probably blames me. Or maybe not, it\u2019s hard to say since we rarely talk anymore. Well, about anything that matters. It\u2019s hard to judge what a man\u2019s thinking from a greeting more suited to strangers than brothers.<\/p>\n<p>I still can\u2019t wrap my mind around that Joe won\u2019t be coming back \u2014 that this isn\u2019t ever going to end. There are times when I find myself wanting to go and wake him up or some-such. It was a habit and a darn sight hard one to break, too. Not that I\u2019ve quite managed it but maybe some day I will. I feel like most days are full of nothing but maybes: Maybe today will be the day that Pa finds that spark that used to light his eyes, or maybe today will be the day Adam forgives himself, or the biggest maybe of all: Maybe today will be the day Roy finds the men who did this to my family.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*****<\/p>\n<p>Even though I was angry at the Almighty, I still went to church every Sunday with my family. It wasn&#8217;t like I wanted to be there, but I know Pa would have been mad if we&#8217;d given up on even this. I listened to the preacher going on and on, not really paying much attention until I heard him say, \u201ca good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one&#8217;s birth.\u201d I heard Pa and Adam breathe in, sharp like, and I knew I couldn&#8217;t listen to this any more. I couldn&#8217;t listen to this man talk about how it was better to die than be born, not so soon after losing my little brother.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t stand it, so I pushed my way out of the pew, stepping over people and not even trying to say I was sorry. Mostly because I wasn&#8217;t and wasn&#8217;t in the mood to be polite neither. I could hear people talking low, and I could hear Pa and Adam following as fast as they could behind me.<\/p>\n<p>Once I got outside, I finally felt like I could breathe.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHoss, what was that back there?\u201d Pa grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.<\/p>\n<p>I can see Adam, just behind Pa, and I can tell he wants to ask the same thing but won&#8217;t. Little Joe would have just outright asked what was eating at me, but Adam wasn&#8217;t like that. I used to accept that about him, that he was more into think than me or Joe, but right now, it just felt like he didn&#8217;t care. I know, deep down, that wasn&#8217;t it but grief does funny thing to a man.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPa, I can&#8217;t listen to any more of that preacher and his sermons on death. I ain&#8217;t real sure why he thinks he needs to preach on it so dang often,\u201d I said, not meeting my pa&#8217;s eyes. I don&#8217;t think I could stand to see the hurt and disappointment there right now. \u201cPeople\u2019er always coming up and saying how sorry they are, even after all this time, and I just can&#8217;t listen to it any more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I ain&#8217;t kidding. I go in the mercantile, and there is always someone telling me how sorry they are. I can&#8217;t even pull up into town without someone stopping me to tell me they&#8217;re sorry and miss seeing Joe. I know Joe was known around town as the fun Cartwright. Me and Adam didn&#8217;t mind the occasional beer, but Joe relishes&#8230;relished it. He&#8217;d do just about anything to get out of work and go have a beer. I always said he could charm a bird from the tree if he put his mind to it, and it showed in how many friends he had.<\/p>\n<p>I turn to leave, and Adam grabbed my arm. \u201cHoss, you can&#8217;t-\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I just shake him loose and leave him and Pa standing in front of the church. This is what I mean. We&#8217;re barely a family these days, and I don&#8217;t know what to do to fix it. I get on my horse and head back toward home, because I couldn&#8217;t stand to be offered comfort for something that was my fault.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s not a day I don&#8217;t think about watching the Bynums get shot and Joe doing his darnedest to help them. I was supposed to watch out for my kid brother, and I couldn&#8217;t even watch out for myself.<\/p>\n<p>I turn Chubb toward the lake and head towards Joe&#8217;s grave, and it just about kills me every time I think of his grave. It catches me off guard most times, because some days it&#8217;s something little that reminds me of him. When it happens, it&#8217;s like brushing against the edge of a sharp knife, painful and almost numbing, and it opens up the hurt all over again. I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve ever cried as much as the day I realized I hadn&#8217;t thought about Joe all day.<\/p>\n<p>Once I got to the spot by the lake, I tied my horse to a nearby bush and lean over and pull the few small, scraggly weeds that had sprung up since the last time one of us was here. I sit on the bench Pa&#8217;d had made, and I shredded the grass between my fingers. I don&#8217;t know exactly how often Pa and Adam spend up here by the lake, but I&#8217;d been up here nearly everyday once I was well enough to sit a horse by myself. I missed my brother like I&#8217;d miss a limb.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe.\u201d My voice broke on a sob, and I buried my face in my shaking hands. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So lost in my own grief, I ain\u2019t paying enough attention to know when Pa shows up until he puts his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezes before he sits down beside me. I\u2019m kind of surprised Adam\u2019s not with him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSon, you know it\u2019s not your fault.\u201d His voice was as serious as I\u2019d ever heard it. \u201cEven if Roy never catches the men responsible, it won\u2019t ever be your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I want to believe Pa, but the hurtin\u2019 in me won\u2019t let me trust his words. This is what I\u2019m talking about. There was a time that if Pa said the sun would rise in the West, I\u2019d\u2019da believed him. If he said it, it may as well be law. Now? I wonder how we\u2019ll to find our way back to being a family.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m thinking about \u201cpulling a Joe\u201d and looking for the men responsible myself,\u201d I said, not even thinking before the words leave my mouth. Pa gets as stiff as a pine tree next to me before the words are even finished echoing across the lake.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHoss,\u201d Pa\u2019s voice broke for a minute before he cleared his throat. \u201cEric\u2026son, please don\u2019t. It almost killed me to lose one child, and I can\u2019t stand the thought to lose another. Please don\u2019t make me beg you to stay here. I never thought anything could hurt as much as losing Elizabeth, Inger or Marie, but I don\u2019t think I could live losing another son. It\u2019s not the natural way of things, to outlive your children.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The sound of the lake against the shore was the only sound between us for a good long while. The hurt in is his voice ain\u2019t something I wanted to hear again anytime soon.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, I said, \u201cOkay, Pa, I won\u2019t, but I can\u2019t say I don\u2019t want to awful bad, though.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRemember what I told you and Adam? We\u2019re stronger together than we are apart. I know it\u2019s partly my fault since I haven\u2019t done as much with the Ponderosa and that stops today. I still have two fine sons, and I need to remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPa\u2019s right. We\u2019re better together than we are apart, and we\u2019ve lost sight of it,\u201d Adam said. How he\u2019s managed to sneak up on me and Pa, I never knew considering how quiet it had been.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRoy stopped me on my way out of Virginia City,\u201d Adam said, as he took off his hat and turned it around in his hands. \u201cHe thinks the men who killed Joe were killed over in Arizona near a town called Prescott. Says they match your descriptions you gave him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Pa and I both just blink at Adam, unable to believe what he\u2019d said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs he sure?\u201d Pa asked, the sound harsh and low. It was said so fast that it had to hurt when he said it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs sure as he can be without seeing the bodies,\u201d Adam said as he looked Pa in the eyes. \u201cHe said they tried to rob a bank but were killed as they left town.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I felt the knot in my chest start to unravel and felt like I could finally breathe easy again, like the hurt and grief and shame was turned loose from where it\u2019d been festering.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*****<\/p>\n<p>After that, as time went on, life seemed to get back to normal as it could be given the circumstances. It was like a weight had been lifted, and we truly started to heal.<\/p>\n<p>Pa started taking over the running of the ranch again which was a relief to me since I could get back to the animals I loved, and I know Adam was glad to see Pa more like himself, even though Adam never actually said anything about it.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t think Pa or Adam ever really understood how close I was to taking off and looking for the killers myself. The Almighty taught me that, as Pa says, patience is a virtue. The Lord only knows what might have happened if I\u2019d gone out in my own.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*****<\/p>\n<p>When Adam met Alice, he courted her and finally and proposed, and I helped him build his cabin for his new family. It was the happiest I\u2019d ever seen him, I think. I knew, too, that he\u2019d found new dreams for himself and not just the wandering kind.<\/p>\n<p>The sounds of axes hitting trees echoes through the air as Adam and I fell trees for his cabin.<\/p>\n<p>I stop for a second and wipe at the sweat on my face. \u201cOlder Brother, pass me that canteen. Why\u2019d you have to pick the hottest summer to get married instead of waiting until it\u2019s cooler?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause, Brother, I couldn\u2019t wait another second, that\u2019s why,\u201d he said, grin splitting his face. His whole face lights up when he talks about Alice. It makes me glad to see him so happy and almost carefree.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow someone as sweet as Alice could put up with your ornery hide, I\u2019ll never know,\u201d I said, ducking the halfhearted swipe Adam aims at me.<\/p>\n<p>When Adam introduced us to Alice, I thought she was the prettiest thing I\u2019d ever seen, but she seems well suited to Adam and am glad she can see past the walls he\u2019s built around himself.<\/p>\n<p>Adam and I continue to cut down logs, chinking the gaps and turn a pile of dead trees into a fine home, if I do say so myself.<\/p>\n<p>We fixed it up with pretty things for Alice \u2013 checked curtains, furniture, paintings &#8211; and a rocker and crib for when they started their family.<\/p>\n<p>There was even a place given for all of Joe\u2019s dime store novels that had made their way into Adam\u2019s library. Despite his insistence they weren\u2019t \u201creal\u201d books, he seemed to have a fondness for them since they belonged to Shortshanks.<\/p>\n<p>When the cabin burned and Alice died with the baby, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever seen Adam\u2019s eyes looks so hollow and empty. He leaned on Pa a lot during those dark days as he looked for her killers.<\/p>\n<p>I think, for the first time, he truly understood how Pa felt after our mothers and Little Joe died.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*****<\/p>\n<p>There was one year I thought we were going to lose Pa. It started out as a cold, nothing to be too worried about. Then, Pa started coughing like he was trying to cough up his toenails.<\/p>\n<p>Adam and I popped up off our seats when Dr. Martin came down the stairs.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow is he?\u201d Adam asked, always the one to cut the through to the heart of the matter.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Martin sighed as he put his coat back on slowly. \u201cHe\u2019s got pneumonia, and it sounds like it\u2019s in both lungs.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I sat down hard on the hearth as Adam swore.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re sure?\u201d Everyone knew pneumonia was a killer &#8211; even people half Pa\u2019s age died from it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs sure as I can be from the rattling in his chest,\u201d Doc said, picking up his bag. \u201cI\u2019ve left some powders to help clear his lungs, hopefully. He\u2019s resting right now, and his fever is down somewhat. Come get me if he gets worse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With that, Doc left and me and Adam were left with Pa and Hop Sing.<\/p>\n<p>Adam and I took turns running the ranch and sitting with Pa, listening to that awful whistling click sound he made with every breath he took. Hop Sing, bless him, brought us dinner in Pa\u2019s room and helped with taking care of him with his herbs \u2013 making teas from purple cornflower and dried elderberry and willowbark for the fever that never seemed to break.<\/p>\n<p>I could tell Adam was as worried as I was that the whistling breath might stop given how blue Pa\u2019s lips looked, and we\u2019d be burying him next to Joe.<\/p>\n<p>Weeks passed and Pa didn\u2019t seem to get better. He didn\u2019t get any worse, but he never seemed to turn a corner to getting well. Between chores, running the ranch, and taking care of Pa, Adam and me were just about to meet ourselves coming most days.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, one day, he started to get better only to relapse after trying to do too much, and it felt like we were losing the war against the enemy.<\/p>\n<p>It took two months before Pa was well and almost six for him to finally be himself again and not getting too worn out from just sitting up.<\/p>\n<p>I thanked God everyday for healing my father.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*****<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPa, you know I don\u2019t have as good a head for horses like Joe,\u201d I said over the breakfast table.<\/p>\n<p>Pa didn\u2019t say anything for a few minutes. The clinking of forks on plates the only sound in the room.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have a better head for it than you think. You just have to trust yourself. I need you to go look at the horses Mr. Massey has for sale. I think they\u2019ll be a good addition, but I need you to go and be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Adam smiles at me and salutes me with the eggs on his fork. \u201cLook at it this way \u2013 you\u2019ll be getting out of chores!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Used to be, Pa\u2019d send me and Adam, but he\u2019d taken to only sending one of us off on business, as if he were keeping us safe by sending us separate. Now, it felt like he was hedging his bets.<\/p>\n<p>There was no arguing with Pa, and I got myself ready for my trip to look at horses like Pa wanted.<\/p>\n<p>So, that\u2019s how I ended up in Sullivan\u2019s Gorge in a gulley washer of a storm. The rain started light as I steered Chubb through the gorge, and it soon turned into a downpour fast.<\/p>\n<p>I could hear the water rushing towards me, and I kicked my horse into a gallop. I knew at that moment I wasn\u2019t going to make it home. As the water rushes towards me, I was slammed into the rocks sticking out from the rock wall.<\/p>\n<p>As the water closed over my head, I\u2019m more scared than I can ever remember. I see everything grow dim, and I close my eyes. When I opened them again, I see Joe waiting for me with his wide smile and open arms.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_18802\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"18802\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary: Final installment of Wavering series, Hoss&#8217; POV.<\/p>\n<p>Word Count:  3208<br \/>\nRating: K+<\/p>\n<p>Wavering Series, links to all the stories for this series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9526,"featured_media":14676,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-drama","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2061,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_2234.jpg?fit=840%2C639&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18633,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18633","url_meta":{"origin":18802,"position":0},"title":"Wavering (by Arien)","author":"Arien","date":"October 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A trip to Yerington has tragic consequences for the Cartwrights. Rating: PG (Warning: Character Death) Word Count: 4,271 Wavering Series, links to all the stories for this series included.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Alternate Universe&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18632,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18632","url_meta":{"origin":18802,"position":1},"title":"Silence (by Arien)","author":"Arien","date":"October 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0This story follows \"Wavering.\" Rating:\u00a0 PG (Warning:\u00a0 Character Death) Word Count:\u00a0 \u00a04,339 Wavering Series, links to all the stories for this series included.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Alternate Universe&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49369,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49369","url_meta":{"origin":18802,"position":2},"title":"My Pa (by Puchi Ann)","author":"Puchi Ann","date":"June 15, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A tribute from Adam, Hoss and Joe for Father's Day (transcribed by Puchi Ann) Rating: K Word Count: 88","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Square-Deal-Sam-2.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Square-Deal-Sam-2.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Square-Deal-Sam-2.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1737,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1737","url_meta":{"origin":18802,"position":3},"title":"Rumor Has It&#8230; (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"May 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 What happens when Adam and Joe have time to kill until the stage arrives?\u00a0 Rating:\u00a0 K+ \u00a0\u00a0 (1,030 words)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Chaps and Spurs&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/A-J.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":38025,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=38025","url_meta":{"origin":18802,"position":4},"title":"Snowball Fight! (by rh2006fan \/ HeatherF)","author":"heather","date":"December 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Summary: Joe and Hoss have a snowball fight on a winter morning. Written for day 13 of the 2021 Advent Calendar. Rating: G Word Count:\u00a0 339","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Drama&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/30wreath.jpg?fit=450%2C549&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14401,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14401","url_meta":{"origin":18802,"position":5},"title":"Surprise! (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"June 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Young Hoss and Joe have decided that Ben deserves a day off so they plan a special day with him, but Ben soon discovers it's more special than anyone anticipated. 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