Summary:\u00a0 Joe tries to deal with his feelings after returning home from Alabama.<\/p>\n
Rated: T (26,125 words)<\/p>\n
Between Two Worlds Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n Between Two Worlds<\/a> <\/p>\n When Two Worlds collide<\/strong><\/p>\n Adam straightened up from his position as he leant against a pole and peered into the distance where a small swirl of dust could be seen. \u2018It\u2019s coming,\u2019 he said quietly. Hoss stood up and put his hat on as he followed his brother\u2019s gaze. The two brothers stood in silence for a few moments, their eyes fixated on the ever-increasing dust in the distance. \u2018Remember what Pa wrote,\u2019 said Adam, looking at his brother. \u2018We need to just follow his lead.\u2019<\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u2018Sure,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll just be glad to see em both again.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The stage drew to a halt in front of them and they waited as a couple of passengers alighted before spying their father getting down. \u2018Pa!\u2019 called Hoss and stepped forward to give the man a bear hug that lifted him full off the ground.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Steady son,\u2019 said Ben, laughing. He turned to Adam and gave him a hug as well, then stood back and looked at both his sons. \u2018How are you both?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019re fine Pa,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018How are you more to the point?\u2019\u00a0 His eyes travelled to the open door of the stage. \u2018And Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at them both. \u2018We\u2019re tired,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s been a long trip.\u2019\u00a0 He gave them both a meaningful look and said in a slightly louder voice. \u2018I hope you\u2019ve got the buggy with you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think Joe and I are up to riding just yet.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to the stage. \u2018Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The unmistakeable curly head of their younger brother appeared in the doorway and Joe stepped down from the stage quickly. \u2018Hi!\u2019 he said with a grin. Hoss made to step forward and then hesitated. \u2018Well?\u2019 said Joe. \u2018Don\u2019t I get a hug too?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss grinned at him and gave him the same treatment as he had given his father, this time twirling his younger brother around once in the air at the same time. \u2018Ya sure do!\u2019 he said gleefully as he set him down again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned to Adam. \u2018Don\u2019t you try that!\u2019 he warned. \u2018Once is enough.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam laughed and pulled his younger brother toward him as he embraced him. \u2018My hugs aren\u2019t quite so rough,\u2019 he said. Joe closed his eyes for a moment as the two brothers embraced, a gesture that didn\u2019t go unnoticed by his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Come on boys,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019ve got lots of time for all this when we get home. What I need is a hot bath, and I\u2019m sure you need one as well Joseph.\u2019\u00a0 He took his youngest son by the arm and directed him to their buggy, which was across the street.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe allowed himself to be led hurriedly towards the buggy and just as quickly got in.\u00a0 He slumped down in the seat and pulled his hat over his face. \u2018Can we go now Pa?\u2019 he asked. \u2018I want to get out of here.\u2019\u00a0 He looked furtively around the street.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Of course we can,\u2019 said Ben in a jovial tone that sounded quite forced to Adam and Hoss. \u2018Come on boys, hurry up.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once they were on their way, both brothers had the opportunity to study Joe without being obvious about it and neither of them liked what they saw at all. He was a bit thinner, although not unduly so, but what struck them both was the pinched and haunted look about him that he was obviously taking great pains to hide.\u00a0 But try as he would, the strain of the past few weeks showed clearly to them by the dark circles under his eyes, the pinched look of his usually smiling mouth and the nervous fidgeting of his hands. He was a very different boy to the excited and happy one they had said goodbye to that day when he and their father were setting off on their trip to New Orleans.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n On that day Joe had been so animated and alive. Now he seemed to be a pale imitation of the person he had seemed then.\u00a0 Both his brothers ached at the sight of him and it was only their father\u2019s meaningful stare that told them to take it easy that stopped either of them from reaching out to him and hugging him to them again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So?\u2019 said Adam, trying to sound casual. \u2018How was the trip back?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced at Joe and answered for them both. \u2018As easy as could be expected,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019re both glad to be home though, aren\u2019t we Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. Glad to be home!<\/em>\u00a0 That was an understatement! He had never felt so glad to be anywhere as he was to feel the relief of coming back to The Ponderosa.\u00a0 The past couple of weeks travelling had been a blur for him, so engrossed had he been in trying to come to terms with all that had happened to him. He had begun to physically heal and felt much better for it, but with each day that passed had also come a great weariness that he found difficult to deal with.\u00a0 He supposed it was leftover from those weeks when he hadn\u2019t been able to sleep much and now that he was safe his body was reacting in this way.\u00a0 He could understand that, but he still found it hard to accept.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n It seemed that all he wanted to do was sleep lately and in one way he guessed that had been a good thing.\u00a0 It had helped the travelling time to go faster, it had helped to block out the time he had to dwell on past events and it had given him less time to talk to his father about it. Not that he minded talking to Pa at all.\u00a0 He gave the man a weak smile as the thought crossed his mind for the hundredth time just what his father had done for him.\u00a0 Without Pa he would be\u2026 He shifted in his seat and blocked his mind to the thoughts that threatened to invade it once again.\u00a0 Instinctively his hand came to rest on his jacket pocket where he kept his most precious possession\u2026the papers his father had given him that spelled the end to his nightmare.\u00a0 There were a few times during the trip that he had woken up in a cold sweat and reached for them, thinking in his semi-conscious state that they had been taken from him.\u00a0 It had taken quite a bit of persuading from his father on several occasions to convince him that it wasn\u2019t so and even now he had to keep reassuring himself constantly that they were there. Without them he would be\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned to face his father and brothers. \u2018Sure am,\u2019 he said with a forced brightness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You go first Joe,\u2019 said his father as he motioned for Hop Sing to bring the hot water in. \u2018The tub is ready.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned from the window of the washhouse where he had been gazing across towards the barn. He saw Hop Sing carrying the buckets and hurried over to help him. \u2018I\u2019ll do that,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Is all right Little Joe,\u2019 replied Hop Sing. \u2018I do it all time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know,\u2019 Joe said as he took the buckets. \u2018But you shouldn\u2019t have to.\u00a0 I mean\u2026. Let me help.\u2019\u00a0 Memories of carrying water for hours at an end came back to him and he thought about the way his back had ached with each load. He tipped the water into the tub and stood looking thoughtfully at the ever-widening ripples that raced across its surface.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He jumped at his father\u2019s touch. \u2018Yes?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You go first.\u2019 Joe hesitated while his father looked at him. \u2018I\u2019ll wait outside,\u2019 the man said gently. \u2018Let me know when you\u2019re finished and I\u2019ll put some more of that salve on your back.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded, pleased that his father understood his reluctance to undress in front of him.\u00a0 He still found it difficult to look at his own body with the marks of his mistreatment still on it, let alone allowing anyone else to view it.\u00a0 It was as much as he could stand for his father to tend to him during these past few weeks and even then there were times when he found himself cringing away from the man\u2019s touch in spite of himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he lay in the warm water, Joe let his muscles relax and his mind wander.\u00a0 The relief of being home hadn\u2019t sunk in yet and he still felt quite numb with the thought of it all.\u00a0 He glanced across to the chair where his jacket and other clothing lay discarded and checked again that they were still there.\u00a0 As he did so, he cursed himself for the thought. Of course they\u2019re still there stupid!\u00a0 Where else would it be? <\/em>He made a mental note to ask his father to put the papers in the safe as soon as he got out of here.\u00a0 Those papers were his lifeline to freedom and he went cold at the very thought of what they meant to him.\u00a0 He slid back in the tub, letting the warm water rise up around his head.\u00a0 He held up his wrists to inspect them and noticed that the scabs were quite well formed on them now and wondered how long it would take for them to completely heal over.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe considered for a moment how easy it was for his body to heal and yet how hard for his mind.\u00a0 It was a pity there wasn\u2019t some salve his father could rub on that to take away the memories as easily as it took away the hurt in his back, wrists and ankles.\u00a0 He sighed as closed his eyes as he felt the healing warmth of the water doing its work. For now he would just let things be while he recovered.\u00a0 Hopefully it would be as Pa had said\u2026given time his mind would let things go as well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared into the mirror and smiled thinly at his reflection that stared back at him. From this angle he looked just about the same as he always had.\u00a0 The same eyes, mouth and nose.\u00a0 Of course the mirror only showed his face and didn\u2019t reveal the marks on the rest of his body at all.\u00a0 He picked up a comb and ran it through his thick curly hair, frowning as he did so.\u00a0 What was it Mama Katie had said?\u00a0 Oh yes!\u00a0 He got his curly hair from his mother. He frowned.\u00a0 His mother and her coloured blood. He put his arm out and studied the colour of his skin intently.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t for the life of him see anything unusual about it, but he supposed it must have a tinge of colour in it if he was\u2026he pushed all such thoughts out of his mind angrily and raked the comb viciously through his hair as he tried to get the knots out of it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019ll tear it out by the roots if you carry on like that,\u2019 said his father pleasantly as he entered the room. \u2018Well I don\u2019t know about you Joe, but I certainly feel better after that hot bath.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at his father\u2019s reflection standing next to his own. \u2018Much better,\u2019 he said shortly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Come over here and I\u2019ll put some of this on your back. Pull that nightshirt down just a bit,\u2019 said his father. Joe sat on the bed and slid his nightshirt down from his shoulders as he allowed his Pa to begin the action that they both knew so well now.\u00a0 He had done the same thing twice a day for the past two weeks. \u2018It\u2019s looking much better,\u2019 said Ben from behind him. \u2018The bruising will be gone in a few more days. Here, let me put some on those wrists.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe allowed his father to pick up his wrists one at a time and apply a liberal amount of the salve on them.\u00a0 It felt cool and soothing against his skin. \u2018Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes?\u2019 said Ben as he continued to work.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Is it all right with you if I go into town tomorrow?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The question startled Ben so much that he looked up at his son and stopped working for a moment. He hadn\u2019t for one moment thought the boy would want to face people yet and the request absolutely floored him. \u2018Of course it is,\u2019 he said after a moment. \u2018Why do you want to though?\u00a0 I thought you might like to rest for a few days first.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u2018I do,\u2019 he said. \u2018I am real tired. It\u2019s just that I want to get a haircut that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s jaw dropped open. It was the first time he could ever remember the boy requesting such a thing.\u00a0 Since he was old enough to understand what was happening around him Joe hadn\u2019t ever wanted to have his haircut and seemed to take great delight in fighting his father about its length every time Ben had dragged him into town to have it done.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sure,\u2019 said Ben finally, not knowing what else to say. \u2018We could visit Paul Martin while we\u2019re in there as well.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019d like him to look you over that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Check out these wrists for a start.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe, I really think he should take a look at you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That doctor in \u2026 down there\u2026he checked me over. I don\u2019t need anyone else to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That was two weeks ago Joe. I\u2019d feel better if Paul took at look at you now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Son\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe put his head up. \u2018And what are you thinking of telling him Pa?\u00a0 How are you gonna explain all this?\u2019\u00a0 Joe gestured to his wrists and his back. \u2018I don\u2019t want him looking at me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u2018There\u2019s no need to say what happened,\u2019 he began. \u2018We could just\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He ain\u2019t stupid Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll figure part of it out and then he\u2019ll start asking questions.\u00a0 You said yourself that my back is nearly better, so why don\u2019t we just leave it at that?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood up. \u2018No! I ain\u2019t gonna have anyone find out what happened! I ain\u2019t going to no doctor Pa, and that\u2019s an end to it!\u2019\u00a0 He strode over to his window and looked out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up and walked over to his son. \u2018All right Joseph,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018Whatever you want. Just remember that no one around here knows about what happened to you and that\u2019s the way it will stay unless you decide otherwise.\u00a0 I\u2019d never put your privacy at risk like that son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know,\u2019 said Joe in a low voice as he continued to stare out of the window. After a moment he added. \u2018What did you tell Adam and Hoss in that letter you wrote?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath. \u2018I told them how you\u2019d been taken by Bates and sold,\u2019 he said. \u2018I told them about your mother\u2019s blood. You said it was all right to say that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u2018Nothing else?\u2019 He glanced down at his feet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u00a0 I know that they\u2019re wondering of course, but I haven\u2019t told them any details yet.\u00a0 I thought you might want to do that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said in the same low voice. \u2018I can\u2019t.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Do you want me to?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u2018All of it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed. \u2018Not the \u2026.\u2019 He continued to look at his feet and pointed to them. \u2018Not that. I don\u2019t think they need to know about that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben knew that his son was referring to the brand on his heel. \u2018Of course not,\u2019 he said gently as he massaged the boy\u2019s neck. He noticed the socks on his Joe\u2019s feet that he had pulled on with his nightshirt as if to cover them up. \u2018I\u2019ll tell you what Joe. Why don\u2019t you get some sleep now and I\u2019ll get Hop Sing to bring you up some supper in a while.\u00a0 You look deadbeat and you\u2019ll need your strength if we\u2019re going into town tomorrow.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned at smiled at his father. \u2018Yeah, I think I will,\u2019 he said. \u2018You look tired too Pa.\u00a0 You should have an early night.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben patted his son on the shoulder. \u2018I will,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll go and talk to your brothers first though.\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded. \u2018Sleep well son. And Joe?\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked at his father. \u2018Welcome home boy.\u2019\u00a0 Father and son smiled at each other for a moment and then Ben quietly closed the door behind him as he left the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sat silently shaking his head as he stared into the fireplace while Hoss paced up and down in front of it as he had for the past forty minutes while their father had been speaking. Ben picked up his coffee cup and noted that it was now cold, so replaced it on the table in front of him.\u00a0 The silence lengthened as the three men each dealt with his own thoughts. Finally Ben spoke. \u2018Your brother still feels very fragile about the whole thing as I\u2019m sure you can imagine,\u2019 he said. \u2018Now you can see why I said to take it gently with him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss turned to him, his face a mixture of anger and despair. \u2018I can\u2019t believe what you\u2019re telling us Pa!\u2019 he said. \u2018I just can\u2019t believe it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up at his son sadly. \u2018Believe it Hoss.\u00a0 It\u2019s all true,\u2019 he said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But how could they?\u00a0 I just don\u2019t understand how anyone could do them things! Specially not to Little Joe!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam rubbed the bridge of his nose as he always did when in thought. \u2018Not everyone thinks about Joe the way we do Hoss,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018There\u2019s a lot of injustice in this world and unfortunately our little brother has just come face to face with it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss clenched his fists. \u2018Well if I\u2019d been there I woulda killed\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Which is exactly why I didn\u2019t send you both a wire until it was all over,\u2019 interrupted his father. \u2018That kind of thing would have resulted in me having more than one son in trouble.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I guess so,\u2019 acknowledged Hoss. \u2018It just riles me so much to think of my little brother being treated like that!\u2019\u00a0 He thumped the back of his father\u2019s chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It riles us all Hoss,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018But you\u2019ve got to remember that the law was on their side.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t care!\u2019 shouted Hoss. \u2018The law is wrong!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I agree,\u2019 continued Adam. \u2018But from their point of view\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Law or no law, there\u2019s no reason to have treated him like that!\u2019 exploded Hoss. \u2018I don\u2019t care what they thought about his Ma and all that legal stuff\u2026they had no right!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Boys this isn\u2019t helping anyone,\u2019 interrupted their father. \u2018What we\u2019ve got to concentrate on now is Joseph.\u00a0 He\u2019s come through a shocking experience and we have to show him our support in order to help him get through the rest of it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sat forward. \u2018Does he know you\u2019re telling us all this?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes. He asked me to. He couldn\u2019t bring himself to tell you himself, but I think he\u2019ll be relieved that you know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So how do you think we should treat him?\u2019 asked the ever-practical Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Just be guided by your instincts,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018It\u2019s difficult to know how he\u2019ll cope with it all.\u00a0 Time will tell I suppose. He\u2019s asked to go into town and have his haircut tomorrow so I suppose that\u2019s a good sign.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He what?\u2019 asked Hoss incredulously. \u2018Shortshanks never once wanted to have his haircut!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u00a0 It surprised me too,\u2019 acknowledged his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n All three Cartwrights turned at the sound of Joe\u2019s voice behind them on the stairs. Ben stood up. \u2018Joe! I thought you were asleep son.\u00a0 What are you doing up?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I forgot something,\u2019 said Joe, avoiding his brothers\u2019 eyes.\u00a0 He had a fair idea of what they\u2019d all been talking about and didn\u2019t feel comfortable about it at all. He held out some papers to Ben who looked at them strangely.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What are they?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018The\u2026 them papers you got for me,\u2019 said Joe looking at his father pleadingly as if willing him not to say anything about them in front of his brothers. \u2018They\u2019re kinda important and I was wondering if they could go in the safe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took the papers from his son\u2019s hand. \u2018Of course,\u2019 he said with a smile. \u2018I\u2019ll put them in before I go to bed. Now upstairs with you and get some rest.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood his ground. \u2018Could you put them in now please?\u00a0 I want to make sure they\u2019re safe.\u2019\u00a0 Ben walked over to the safe and bent down to fiddle with the combination.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t take his eyes off his father until the papers were safely away and the man stood up again. \u2018Thanks, he said shortly. \u2018Night.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Good night son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Night Joe,\u2019 called Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Get some sleep,\u2019 said Hoss with a smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave them all a half-hearted smile and climbed the stairs again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What was that all about?\u2019 asked Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018His papers,\u2019 replied his father as he stared at the staircase. \u2018After I\u2019d paid Edwards the money I went down to the Town Registry and had him signed over to himself.\u00a0 It was important that he knew he didn\u2019t even belong to me anymore.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u2018I can understand that,\u2019 he said. \u2018Poor kid.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018He still feels very insecure about it all,\u2019 he said. \u2018We have to try and help him get over it.\u2019 He sighed. \u2018I\u2019m off to bed now boys.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a long day and I\u2019m aching for that soft mattress.\u00a0 Goodnight.\u2019 He climbed the stairs wearily leaving Adam and Hoss still staring into the fire, each with their own thoughts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ben!\u00a0 When did you and the youngster get back into town?\u2019\u00a0 Harold Roach held out his hand and shook Ben\u2019s enthusiastically. \u2018Good to see you back.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at the barber. \u2018We got in yesterday,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Dragging the boy in for a haircut already eh?\u2019 replied Harold. \u2018Hello Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hello Mr Roach,\u2019 said Joe sitting himself in the chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So how was the trip?\u2019 asked Harold as he put a sheet around Joe and picked up his scissors.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben saw Joe wince in the mirror, so he answered quickly. \u2018Fine.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Who\u2019s been hacking away at this?\u2019 asked Harold as he combed through Joe\u2019s hair. \u2018I\u2019ll have to even it up before I can give it a trim.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe thought back again to Momma Katie and the day she\u2019d cut his hair and commented on how curly it was\u2026 just like his mother\u2019s must have been.\u00a0 \u2018I don\u2019t want it just trimmed,\u2019 he said. \u2018I want it cut real short.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The barber stopped and stared at him in the mirror. \u2018What did you say?\u2019 he asked in surprise.\u00a0 For as long as he could remember the youngest Cartwright boy had fought with his father in front of Harold about how he wanted his hair left long.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I want it cut short,\u2019 repeated Joe. \u2018Get all the curl out of it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Suddenly Ben realised what was behind their trip here. The boy was worried about the look of his hair. For the first time ever, Ben felt their roles reversed. \u2018Surely not too short Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s a shame to cut off all those beautiful curls.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well nothing is gonna get the curl completely out,\u2019 said Harold. \u2018But I\u2019ll cut it short if you want.\u2019\u00a0 He began to hack away at Joe\u2019s hair while his father watched from behind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Fancy boots,\u2019 said Harold. \u2018Get them in New Orleans?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes,\u2019 replied Joe shortly and immediately tucked his feet under the sheet. Wasn\u2019t it enough that he felt the mark on his heel with every step that he took?\u00a0 Now people were noticing his feet and drawing attention to them. Joe scowled into the mirror and caught his father looking at him, so he immediately changed the look into a smile. With every lock of his hair that fell to the ground he felt great satisfaction as if part of the last few weeks were falling away with it.\u00a0 Unfortunately hair grew back as he well knew, and so he knew that he\u2019d have to maintain the cut once he had it done.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n By the time the barber had finished, Joe looked quite different.\u00a0 Ben thought quite a bit younger, which only accentuated the vulnerability that his father knew was so much a part of him at the moment.\u00a0 Joe stood up and looked at the floor upon which his curls were scattered. \u2018Thanks,\u2019 he mumbled and strode out, leaving his father to pay the bill.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Is Joe all right?\u2019 asked Harold as he took the money. \u2018He seems a bit agitated about something.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u2018He\u2019s fine,\u2019 he said. \u2018Just tired from the trip that\u2019s all.\u2019 He walked outside to find Joe scratching his head and giving him a sheepish look.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018My hat feels too big for me now,\u2019 he said. \u2018Maybe that wasn\u2019t so smart.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulder. \u2018It\u2019ll grow back,\u2019 he said and saw a look of concern flit across his son\u2019s face momentarily. \u2018How about we get you some new clothes while we\u2019re in here if you\u2019re not too tired?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged. \u2018No I\u2019m OK,\u2019 he said. But the boy looked anything but OK when they entered the next shop. As soon as the shopkeeper began to hold up pieces of clothing the agitation that Ben had observed earlier came back again and he had the distinct feeling that his son couldn\u2019t wait to get out of there.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018They\u2019re fine,\u2019 he said to the shopkeeper as the man held up a couple of shirts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Don\u2019t you want to try them on?\u2019 the man asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No. They\u2019re fine,\u2019 repeated Joe. He pulled the cuffs of his jacket down over his wrists to hide them and gave Ben a pleading look.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n His father stepped forward, took the shirts and held them up against Joe\u2019s chest. \u2018No need to try them on,\u2019 he said. \u2018Joe\u2019s right.\u00a0 They\u2019re fine. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s all right if you try on the pants in the back room though Joseph. Go in there and see if they fit.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shot his father a look of sheer relief and scampered into the back room quickly. Ben sighed as he sat down. He could well understand the boy\u2019s reluctance to undress in front of anyone at the moment, and he hoped that his son\u2019s concern was due to the marks on his body and nothing else.\u00a0 Hopefully it would pass in time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later on as they were riding home, Ben hesitated as they passed the trail that led down to the lake.\u00a0 Joe often wanted to stop there on the way to and from town and given his recent experiences, Ben was sure that he\u2019d want to today.\u00a0 Visiting his mother\u2019s grave would be good for him, even if it might cause him to be a bit emotional and Ben was prepared to spend quite a bit of time with the boy there if he needed to.\u00a0 He was surprised when Joe, however, stared ahead resolutely and kept riding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe,\u2019 he said as he caught up to his son. \u2018I thought you might like to visit your mother\u2019s grave today.\u00a0 Do you want to stop for a few moments?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe kept staring ahead. \u2018I\u2019m kinda tired Pa.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t mind I might go another time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Of course. Whatever you want son.\u2019\u00a0 He noticed his son\u2019s reluctance to look at him as if he were worried about something. \u2018It\u2019s all right Joe. You don\u2019t have to until you\u2019re ready.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave a slight nod and kept riding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How about it shortshanks?\u2019 asked Hoss at the dinner table. \u2018It\u2019s such a hot afternoon that a bit of fishing might be just the thing to do this afternoon.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at his brother sideways. \u2018Ain\u2019t you got work to do?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Cause I do!\u2019 replied Hoss jovially. \u2018Ain\u2019t meaning ta do it though if Pa\u2019ll agree ta me having the afternoon off!\u2019 He looked at his father hopefully. The haunted look in his little brother\u2019s eye was just about more than he could stand and he aimed to try anything to get rid of it. \u2018How about it Pa?\u2019 he asked. \u2018It ain\u2019t every day we have a family reunion.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at him, knowing what was behind the request. \u2018I think I can spare you for one afternoon,\u2019 he said. \u2018Why don\u2019t all three of you go?\u2019 He felt that an afternoon with his brothers would do the boy good.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How about it Adam?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Fine,\u2019 said Adam with a smile. \u2018I\u2019ve never turned down an afternoon off. Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hesitated.\u00a0 He still didn\u2019t feel comfortable being with his brothers yet\u2026just the thought that they knew what he\u2019d been through was enough to make him feel\u2026well he didn\u2019t quite know what he felt yet. He shrugged. \u2018I don\u2019t know,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m kinda tired.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Then ya can sleep up at the lake,\u2019 said Hoss, grinning at him. \u2018Aw come on short shanks!\u00a0 Ya not gonna deprive us of an afternoon off are ya?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged again. \u2018OK,\u2019 he said without any enthusiasm in his voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Great!\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018I\u2019ll go and get things ready.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m glad you\u2019re coming Joe,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018It\u2019ll be good for you after all you\u2019ve been through.\u2019 He watched his brother carefully to gauge his reaction to his words.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah sure,\u2019 mumbled Joe and stood up. \u2018I\u2019ll go and \u2026 saddle Cochise.\u2019 He practically ran from the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was silence as Joe left. \u2018Be careful with him,\u2019 Ben said finally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood up. \u2018Aren\u2019t I always?\u2019 he replied. He put his hand on his father\u2019s shoulder as he passed him. \u2018Don\u2019t worry Pa.\u00a0 He\u2019ll come back to us eventually. You said yourself to give him time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his hand over his son\u2019s. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. \u2018Its just\u2026I keep seeing him in my mind as he was when I found him. Tied up and\u2026they kept him like an animal Adam.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll ever\u2026\u2019 his voice trailed away and tears formed in his eyes. \u2018I\u2019m sorry son,\u2019 he said. \u2018I guess I\u2019m going to take some getting over this too.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked at his father compassionately and noted the weariness that surrounded him. \u2018Hoss and I couldn\u2019t begin to understand what both of you went through down there Pa.\u00a0 But anytime you need to we\u2019re both here to listen and \u2026 well we\u2019re here if you need us.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben patted Adam\u2019s hand again. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. \u2018I think I\u2019ll go upstairs and rest while you\u2019re all out this afternoon. We\u2019re all going to need to be strong during the coming weeks and frankly at the moment I just don\u2019t feel it.\u2019 Adam watched his father wearily mount the stairs and turned to follow his brothers outside.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Whew! That\u2019s better,\u2019 said Hoss as he eased off his boots and socks and dangled his feet in the water alongside Adam\u2019s. \u2018Hey shortshanks!\u00a0 Ain\u2019t ya gonna take off ya boots?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Aw go on.\u00a0 It\u2019s too hot ta leave em on ya know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glared at him. \u2018I said no,\u2019 he said curtly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked at Adam and fell silent. Joe tucked his feet up under him and threw his line into the water and the three brothers sat alongside each other for quite a while enjoying the sunshine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa told you didn\u2019t he?\u2019 asked Joe suddenly in a low voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yep,\u2019 said Hoss with another glance at Adam. \u2018That\u2019s why we\u2019re so glad ta have ya back again.\u2019 There was silence. \u2018I\u2019d kill em all fer ya if I could ya know Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned and smiled at his brother. \u2018That\u2019d really help,\u2019 he said sarcastically. \u2018Anyway the one that I really wanted dead already is.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Just keep remembering that buddy,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018He can\u2019t ever hurt you again.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018None of em ever can!\u2019 declared Hoss. \u2018Ya\u2019re home now and things can get back ta normal.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018Things\u2019ll never be the same again,\u2019 he said in the same low voice. \u2018I\u2019m a different person now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re still our Joe though,\u2019 said Adam, putting his hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder in a rare display of affection.\u00a0 Joe looked startled at the gesture. \u2018Nothing can ever change you really unless you let it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You sound like Pa now,\u2019 said Joe with a half-smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well some of him is bound to rub off don\u2019t you think?\u2019 said Adam with a grin. \u2018We\u2019ve all listened to him often enough.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s half-smile turned into a grin as well. \u2018Sure have!\u2019 he agreed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You want to talk about it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hesitated. \u2018I don\u2019t know,\u2019 he said. \u2018Part of me wants to forget all about it, but then\u2026sometimes I just want to get it all out of me, you know?\u00a0 Pa\u2019s been great about it, but I don\u2019t want to hurt him any more with it all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How could ya hurt him?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well he was real upset when he found me,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018I just think that talking about it might upset him more.\u00a0 And\u2026\u2019 Adam and Hoss waited. \u2018And then there\u2019s that stuff about my mother you know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u2018What do you mean?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well\u2026I don\u2019t know.\u2019\u00a0 Joe shrugged and hugged his knees tight to his chest. \u2018It just seems\u2026\u2019 he shook his head and was silent.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked over at him and noticed the tears that were threatening to fall. He motioned to Hoss. \u2018Hey! I got an idea!\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018How about the three of us go into town tonight and have a drink? Bet it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve done that eh Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave him a watery smile. \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he said. \u2018Seems like forever.\u2019\u00a0 He closed his eyes for a moment and placed his head back onto his knees. \u2018Think I\u2019ll give it a miss though Hoss.\u00a0 Maybe another time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u2018OK Joe.\u00a0 Another time.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at Adam sadly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked anxiously at his youngest son sitting beside him.\u00a0 He wondered if he should have insisted that he didn\u2019t come to Church today, but Joe was so insistent that he come that he just didn\u2019t have the heart to argue with him. He knew that the boy was determined that everything should appear as normal and didn\u2019t want anyone in town to wonder why he wasn\u2019t around, but it seemed to Ben that he was pushing things too far and too early.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He listened as the Reverend gave his homily, acutely aware of his son\u2019s increasing agitation beside him.\u00a0 He placed a hand on Joe\u2019s thigh and smiled at him, but the boy didn\u2019t respond and stared straight ahead as if concentrating intently on the Reverend\u2019s words.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Suddenly Joe stood up and rushed to the back door of the building, startling everyone with the intensity of his movements.\u00a0 Hoss made to follow him, but Ben waved him back and stood up himself.\u00a0 He gave the Reverend a smile of apology and hastened to catch up with his son outside.\u00a0 Ben found Joe around the back of the church, leaning against the fence and breathing heavily. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said as he approached him. \u2018Are you all right son?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at his father. His arms were tightly wound around his waist and his eyes were flashing. \u2018I\u2019m fine!\u2019 he said in a tight voice. \u2018Leave me alone!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood his ground. \u2018Well it\u2019s obvious that you\u2019re not all right,\u2019 he said. He took a step forward. \u2018What is it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Him!\u2019 Joe shouted as he pointed to the church. \u2018I don\u2019t have ta sit and listen to all that!\u2019 He stumbled on his words in his haste to get them out. \u2018All that talk about\u2026. about God watching\u2026about God looking out for us!\u00a0 It\u2019s all rubbish!\u2019 Ben tried to put his arm around his son, but Joe shrugged him off. \u2018Where was God when I needed him Pa?\u00a0 Tell me that?\u00a0 Where was he?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe, I know it seems to you that God didn\u2019t look after you when you needed him son, but it just isn\u2019t so.\u00a0 God is always\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No!\u2019 Joe pointed his finger at his father. \u2018Don\u2019t you tell me that!\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t there for me!\u00a0 He\u2019s not there for any of them!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you understand Pa?\u00a0 It\u2019s still going on down there!\u00a0 Momma Katie and all of them\u2026God\u2019s not looking after them! He can\u2019t be\u2026otherwise He\u2019d make sure that none of that stuff goes on! I don\u2019t believe in Him anymore\u2026not after everything that happened.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph!\u00a0 You mustn\u2019t say that son!\u00a0 I know it seems hard to take but\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned on his father. \u2018Hard to take!\u2019 he shouted. \u2018You\u2019ve got no idea Pa!\u00a0 Hard to take?!\u2019 He shook his head. \u2018They treated me like an animal Pa!\u00a0 They did things to me\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No you don\u2019t! You\u2019ve never had to stand up in front of people and be shown off like\u2026 like an animal and have people decide how much you cost!\u00a0 Having them look me up and down and talk about\u2026\u2019\u00a0 his voice trailed off and he hung his head and began to cry as his grip around his waist tightened. \u2018Where was God that day Pa?\u00a0 Where was He\u2026you tell me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took another step forward and gathered his son into his arms as Joe continued to sob. \u2018I don\u2019t know son,\u2019 he said feeling his own tears begin to form. \u2018I can\u2019t answer you that.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know. All I know is that God gave you back to me now and for that I\u2019m thankful.\u00a0 He did bring you back to me eventually Joe.\u00a0 Keep that in mind.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sniffed on his father\u2019s shoulder. \u2018What about all the others?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe not everyone in this world thinks like the people you came in contact with down there.\u00a0 There are many good people who even as we speak are fighting against many of the injustices that are going on. I believe that one day it will end.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father. \u2018Do you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Yes I do,\u2019 he said. \u2018Some people say that\u2019s it\u2019s coming to a head one day soon.\u00a0 I only hope in my lifetime it\u2019s resolved.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018And in the meantime?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shrugged. \u2018Change takes time Joe. In the meantime we need to pray and hope for all those like Momma Katie. You do believe that don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged. \u2018I guess so.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know any more. I don\u2019t know if God\u2019s there or not and that scares me. I feel like\u2026I feel like I\u2019m living in two different worlds at the moment.\u2019\u00a0 He looked around. \u2018There\u2019s all of this\u2026and then there\u2019s \u2026down there.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t get it all out of my head and I don\u2019t want to remember it any more.\u2019\u00a0 He wriggled his toes and felt the mark on his heel as he did every day. \u2018It\u2019s like I\u2019m Joe Cartwright, but I\u2019m also Joseph the\u2026the slave.\u2019\u00a0 The last word was whispered as if he were afraid that someone would hear it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re not \u2026that\u2026any longer,\u2019 said his father. \u2018All that is behind you now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s none of it behind me Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s still in me.\u2019\u00a0 He pulled up his sleeve and showed his father his bare arm. \u2018See? That\u2019s me.\u00a0 That\u2019s my skin\u2026I\u2019m coloured and there\u2019s nothing\u2026no papers or nothing that\u2019ll change that.\u00a0 I\u2019m like it forever!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You told me that you weren\u2019t ashamed of that,\u2019 said his father sternly. \u2018There\u2019s nothing to be ashamed of in your background Joseph.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned away from his father. \u2018I know I shouldn\u2019t be,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018I told you before it\u2019s like being ashamed of\u2026of her.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben knew whom his son referred to. \u2018You\u2019re not ashamed of your mother.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hesitated. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m not ashamed of her Pa.\u00a0 I just wish\u2026I wish she hadn\u2019t been born like she was.\u00a0 You know, her mother being half-black and all. I wish I didn\u2019t have any of that in me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe we are what we are,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018It doesn\u2019t make you any less of a man.\u00a0 Surely you should know that after all you\u2019ve been through.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned sharply as people started coming out of the church. He wiped his eyes quickly on the sleeve of his jacket and stood up straight. \u2018Be careful Pa,\u2019 he said anxiously. \u2018Someone might hear.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018And if they did Joseph?\u2019 asked Ben looking at his son\u2019s face intently. \u2018Would it matter?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked shocked. \u2018Of course it would matter!\u2019 he said. \u2018I don\u2019t want anyone to know!\u2019\u00a0 He stepped forward and clutched his father\u2019s arm. \u2018You promised Pa!\u2019 he said anxiously. \u2018You promised that no one would know!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben patted his son\u2019s hand. \u2018And I meant it,\u2019 he said. \u2018No one will ever know unless you choose to tell them son.\u00a0 But I just want you to remember what I\u2019ve said Joseph. It doesn\u2019t make you any less of a man.\u2019\u00a0 He gazed into his son\u2019s eyes. \u2018Do you hear me?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded his head and rubbed his eyes again, but Ben noticed that he didn\u2019t meet his father\u2019s gaze. \u2018Sure,\u2019 he said unconvincingly. \u2018We\u2019d better go over there now or people will wonder what\u2019s wrong.\u2019 He pulled his father back over towards the group of people who were beginning to gather in the front yard of the church. Ben nodded briefly to Adam and Hoss who gave him questioning looks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ben!\u2019 He turned at the sound of Paul Martin\u2019s voice. \u2018I heard you were back in town.\u2019\u00a0 The doctor smiled at them both and patted Joe on the back. \u2018How was the trip?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Fine,\u2019 said Ben, forcing a smile on his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Are you all right Joe?\u2019 asked the doctor kindly. \u2018I saw you run out of church before.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah I\u2019m fine,\u2019 mumbled Joe. \u2018Just had ta go to the outhouse that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul frowned as he looked at the youngster standing beside him. \u2018Are you sure?\u2019 he asked. \u2018You look a bit pale and your eyes are\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m fine!\u2019 said Joe. \u2018I\u2019m gonna wait in the buggy Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul turned his gaze on Ben as Joe left them. \u2018Ben I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to upset the boy, but it\u2019s just that he looks a bit peaky. Do you want me to take a look at him for you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018No. He\u2019s just a bit tired still from the trip that\u2019s all,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 Paul looked unconvinced. \u2018He just needs a few days rest Paul.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be fine. Now, tell me what\u2019s been going on in town while I\u2019ve been away.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n But Ben\u2019s mind was far from the events in town as he listened to his friend.\u00a0 His eyes kept darting over to the youngster hunched over in the buggy and his mind was focused on a prayer for his son to be at peace.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe drew the brush across Cochise\u2019s back lovingly with a wide sweep and patted his horse as he worked. \u2018You\u2019re a good fella ain\u2019t ya boy?\u00a0 Did ya miss me when I was away?\u2019\u00a0 He frowned as his hand rested on the pinetree brand that marked the horse as one of their own and he shut his eyes as the memory came back to him yet again of the day they had held him down and put a similar mark on his own skin. He felt himself begin to sweat and go clammy as the horrific feeling swept over him yet again. \u2018I\u2019m sorry boy,\u2019 he said softly as he laid his head on the horse\u2019s flank. \u2018I\u2019m so sorry we did that to you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n A noise behind him startled him and he quickly wiped his tears away with one hand while he pretended to work. He didn\u2019t turn at the sound of his brother\u2019s voice, but kept his head down as he brushed. \u2018How are you this morning Joe?\u2019 asked Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Fine,\u2019 he said as he continued to brush. \u2018Just getting chores done.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam moved to stand beside him. \u2018I\u2019m going into town to get some supplies.\u00a0 Thought you might like to come.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe forced a smile on his face as he turned to face his brother. \u2018Sure,\u2019 he said brightly. \u2018I\u2019ll just finish up here first.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam leant against the wooden railing of the stall as he watched his brother work. He absentmindedly patted the muzzle of the black horse in the stall next to him.\u00a0 \u2018I guess you\u2019re glad to see old Cooch again eh?\u2019 he asked. \u2018I swear that horse missed you while you were gone.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe patted the horse\u2019s flank. \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he said. \u2018Me and Cooch is real happy to be together again, ain\u2019t we boy?\u2019 He kept brushing. \u2018Never thought I\u2019d say it, but I really missed doing this chore while I was gone. Although\u2026\u2019\u00a0 Adam waited. \u2018Although sometimes they let me work with the horses. They had some nice ones.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Not as nice as Cochise though I\u2019ll bet.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018There\u2019s no horse as good as Coochie.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam continued to pat the muzzle of the horse next to him. \u2018Oh I don\u2019t know,\u2019 he said with a grin. \u2018This gal here\u2019d give him a run for his money.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe returned the grin. \u2018She\u2019s new ain\u2019t she?\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember seeing her in here before.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Mmm.\u00a0 We got her while you were away. Hoss bought her from Ab Jenkins.\u00a0 Thought she\u2019d bring in some new blood. We should be able to breed some pure stock from this one.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt the blood beginning to pound in his head as his brother\u2019s words brought an unpleasant memory into his mind.\u00a0 He shook his head as he tried to get rid of it and concentrated on the horse\u2019s flank in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe led the horse out of the stall and waited. Daniel came over to pat the animal before taking the reins. \u2018Beautiful animal isn\u2019t he?\u2019 Joe indicated his assent with a slight nod of his head. \u2018We bred him ourselves you know.\u00a0 We maintain pure bloodlines around here if we can \u2013 in animals and slaves!\u2019\u00a0 He looked directly at Joe with a sneer. \u2018My uncle has it in mind for you to be quite useful in that department as well.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You know I think this mare is going to make us quite a bit of money,\u2019 continued Adam, oblivious to his younger brother\u2019s distress. \u2018We\u2019ll just have to breed her with the right\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Stop it!\u2019 said Joe sharply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked at his brother strangely. \u2018What?\u2019 he asked. \u2018What\u2019s the matter?\u00a0 I was only saying that we\u2019ll get some great colts from her if we\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe dropped the brush and turned to glare at his brother. \u2018Stop it!\u2019 he repeated. \u2018Don\u2019t talk like that!\u2019\u00a0 His eyes became unfocussed and he swayed slightly as he felt himself losing control of his emotions and began to panic.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Momma Katie patted him on the shoulder. \u2018Just what ya need I reckon.\u00a0 They\u2019ll find ya a nice one too.\u00a0 Boy with your looks and light colour, they\u2019ll get lots o pretty little ones from ya that\u2019s for sure!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stepped forward to steady him. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said anxiously. \u2018Are you alright?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe threw his brother\u2019s arms away from him and stepped back. \u2018Don\u2019t touch me!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018Don\u2019t you come near me talking like that!\u2019\u00a0 He whirled around and searched for a way out of the stall, his arms flailing wildly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hey buddy calm down,\u2019 said Adam, beginning to panic along with his brother.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know what had caused this reaction from him, but he knew that he had to try and get the boy calm before he could talk some sense into him. He reached out for his brother again, but Joe pushed him away as he stumbled out of the stall and fell to his knees in the hay.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No!\u2019 he cried over and over again. \u2018You can\u2019t do it!\u00a0 I won\u2019t let you do it to me!\u00a0 No!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked up to see his father and Hoss standing in the doorway. \u2018Adam what happened?\u2019 asked Ben as he surveyed the scene in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shook his head and he watched his little brother writhing on the floor in front of them. \u2018I don\u2019t know,\u2019 he said distressed. \u2018One minute we were talking about the horses and the next he was carrying on like this.\u00a0 I must have said something wrong, but I don\u2018t know what.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben bent down and knelt in front of Joe who was still sobbing on the floor. \u2018Joseph?\u2019 he said gently. \u2018It\u2019s Pa. \u00a0Look at me son.\u00a0 It\u2019s all right.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father, his tear-streaked face a picture of fear and confusion. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said. \u2018Don\u2019t let them!\u2019\u00a0 He clutched at his father desperately. \u2018Please don\u2019t let them Pa!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stroked his son\u2019s hair. \u2018I won\u2019t let them Joe. It\u2019s all right now son.\u00a0 Your Pa\u2019s here.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe continued to clutch at his father. \u2018You won\u2019t let them will you?\u00a0 You\u2026oh God!\u00a0 I can\u2019t stay here any more!\u00a0 I can\u2019t live like this!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben drew his son to him and held him tightly, murmuring to him as he rocked him backwards and forwards.\u00a0 Hoss stared wide-eyed at them both. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said softly. \u2018You want me to carry him upstairs?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. No,\u2019 he said. \u2018Just go out and leave me alone with him.\u00a0 Both of you.\u2019 He continued to croon to his son as he watched the other two walk outside.\u00a0 He could feel the boy\u2019s heart beating wildly against his own chest and his shoulders heaving with his sobs.\u00a0 It took several minutes for him to calm him sufficiently to loosen him a little, and when he did he drew him back and looked into his face. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father, hiccuping on his sobs as he tried to stop. Ben smoothed his hair and smiled down at him. \u2018Are you listening to me son?\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded. \u2018No one is going to hurt you now, do you hear me?\u00a0 Whatever it is that upset you is over now.\u00a0 I want you to just calm down.\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded again and struggled to get his breathing under control.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n After a few moments he sat up and looked at his father. \u2018I\u2019m sorry,\u2019 he said softly as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. \u2018I didn\u2019t mean to do that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben continued to stroke his hair. \u2018What happened?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Did Adam say something to upset you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared at his father. \u2018No,\u2019 he said shortly.\u00a0 There was no way that he could think of to explain his thoughts to his father and he didn\u2019t want to hurt the man by admitting what the episode had been about.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What were you thinking about?\u2019 asked his father. \u2018What was it you didn\u2019t want them to do to you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes opened wide and he looked away from his father. \u2018I don\u2019t remember,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Was it when they\u2026when they hurt your foot son?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No. I can\u2019t talk about it Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018All right, you don\u2019t have to then,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018But when you want to I\u2019ll be ready to listen.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded and tried to smile at his father. \u2018Thanks,\u2019 he said and stood up. \u2018I suppose I\u2019d better go and apologize to Adam.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019ll understand son, there\u2019s no need to,\u2019 said Ben as he stood beside him. \u2018Both your brothers understand how difficult this is for you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood silently. \u2018Just take it one step at a time Joseph, all right?\u2019\u00a0 Ben watched as his son walked back to his horse and began to rub him down again. He sighed as he turned and walked out of the barn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe listened to the slow footsteps behind him and closed his eyes. You can do this Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him know how scared you are. Don\u2019t give him the satisfaction of knowing! He heard the swish of something that cut through the air and jerked as Daniel\u2019s laugh washed over him. <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Don\u2019t be so jumpy Joseph, just getting ready that\u2019s all.\u2019\u00a0 Daniel came around to face Joe again and held up a long leather strap in his hand. \u2018Just be grateful it\u2019s not the whip I\u2019d like to use on you. You can thank my uncle for that!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe went cold as Daniel disappeared again. Just get it over with you bastard! Again he heard a swish through the air and felt his whole body tense as a sharp pain cut across his back. He bit his lip and closed his eyes even tighter. Another swish and another sharp cut across his back caused him to jerk forwards into the post and he screamed inside his head. God! Stop it, just stop it!<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a cry, Joe sat up in bed and found himself trembling violently.\u00a0 This time the dream had seemed so real\u2026as if he had been right then and it was happening to him all over again. He put his face in his hands and tried to control his breathing, listening to his heart which seemed about ready to come bouncing out of his chest at any moment it was beating so fast.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He bit his lip as he tried to stop himself from calling out again.\u00a0 The last thing he wanted was for his father or one of his brothers hearing him yet again and coming in to see if he was all right. He didn\u2019t want them to be any more concerned about him than they already were.\u00a0 The look in his father\u2019s eyes alone was enough to make him want to pretend that everything was as fine as they could expect when in fact he felt himself sinking lower and lower into a nightmare world of memories.\u00a0 When would it all end?\u00a0 His father kept saying to give it time and he honestly was trying to\u2026but it was just so hard.\u00a0 Every time he found himself thinking it was getting a bit better the memories just came back again and he found himself just like now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe got out of his bed and walked towards the window and stared out at the night sky.\u00a0 He wondered what Momma Katie was doing right about now and wished for the hundredth time that she had come home with him when Pa had offered to buy her. It seemed so unfair that she was still down there living the life that \u2026 he turned away from the window and stared at his mother\u2019s framed picture on his dresser. Carefully he picked it up and cradled it in his hands.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m sorry Mama,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018I don\u2019t want to feel like this about you but\u2026I just can\u2019t help it.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you didn\u2019t know about it.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you didn\u2019t live to see it, cause…\u2019 he swallowed. \u2018Cause it might have been you and not me that they\u2019d done it to.\u2019\u00a0 The thought made him shiver and he placed the picture back on the dresser again and faced the open window.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe leant on the fence and watched Hoss and the men driving the group of strays into the corral. He waved to his brother and smiled at him. \u2018Hi!\u2019 he said. \u2018Took you plenty of time to get back didn\u2019t it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss got off his horse and strode over to him. \u2018Some of us get out working hard all day and that\u2019s the greeting we get,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s all right fer others that get ta lounge around all day here.\u2019 He cuffed his younger brother playfully on the head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Lounge around?\u2019 said Joe, pretending to be indignant. \u2018I\u2019ll have you know that Pa\u2019s had me going all day without a single break.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah right!\u2019 said Hoss with a grin. \u2018Some people just find themselves in the lap of luxury without even knowing it.\u2019\u00a0 He reached over and put his little brother\u2019s head under his arm and pretended to pull on it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben came out of the barn with Adam in time to witness the scene.\u00a0 He smiled as he watched, thankful that Joseph had come so far in this past week to allow his brother to joke around with him this much. It did his heart good to see it.\u00a0 It seemed like forever since he had heard his youngest son\u2019s unmistakeable giggle as he was hearing now. He winked at Hoss, grateful that he\u2019d managed to get Joe to this point.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well what\u2019s going on here?\u2019 he asked, feigning displeasure. \u2018I turn my back on you two for a couple of minutes and already you\u2019re off the job.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss let go of Joe\u2019s head. \u2018Aw Pa!\u00a0 It was this young\u2019un here!\u00a0 He\u2019s trying to make out that I ain\u2019t been working when I\u2019ve just brought in all these strays.\u2019\u00a0 He grinned at Joe who returned the look.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You found all these out in the North Section?\u2019 asked Adam as he leant on the fence. \u2018I hadn\u2019t realised we\u2019d missed so many.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Seems we did,\u2019 replied Hoss. \u2018Don\u2019t worry older brother. \u2018I\u2019ll get onto them tomorrow and make sure they\u2019re all marked and ready to go back.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shot a look at Joe who had become very still and quiet. \u2018I\u2019d prefer you did that down in the bottom pasture son,\u2019 he said quickly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why?\u2019 asked Hoss puzzled. \u2018We\u2019d only have ta take all the branding irons down there.\u00a0 Seems a waste to move em all twice.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned from his brothers and walked a few steps away from the corral. \u2018Nevertheless I\u2019d prefer it,\u2019 said his father, giving both Adam and Hoss a meaningful look. \u2018The bottom pasture Hoss.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged and gave his father a puzzled look. \u2018Sure thing Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018If that\u2019s what you want.\u2019\u00a0 He glanced at Adam who shrugged.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stepped over to Joe and put his arm around his shoulder. \u2018Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019d like you to come with me for a few minutes.\u00a0 There\u2019s something in the barn I need you to look at.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe walked with his father willingly, anxious to get away from the conversation. As they entered the barn he turned to face his father. \u2018Thanks,\u2019 he said simply. \u2018I guess you know I couldn\u2019t stand hearing that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Of course I know,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018Your brother didn\u2019t mean anything by it Joseph.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t know about your foot and he never would have meant to hurt you with his remarks.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know. I just have to get used to things like that I guess.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at him. \u2018Just not quite yet eh?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe returned the smile with a weak one of his own. \u2018No,\u2019 he acknowledged. \u2018Just not quite yet.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How about going into town with Adam this afternoon to get the mail?\u2019 asked Ben. \u2018The trip would do you good.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave him a genuine smile this time. \u2018Yeah sure,\u2019 he said and turned to go.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe?\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes?\u2019 Joe turned back again to face his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m proud of you son,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018You\u2019re facing up to this real well and trying to handle it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave him a full grin. \u2018Thanks Pa,\u2019 he said. He hesitated and then walked towards his father again and flung his arms around him. \u2018I love you,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben returned the hug. \u2018I love you too son,\u2019 he said with tears in his eyes. He gave his son a gentle push away from him and swatted him on the backside. \u2018Now get!\u2019 he said with a twinkle in his eyes.\u00a0 Joe grinned at him and left the barn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t think Pa would mind if we had drink,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018How about it Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hesitated for only the slightest moment. \u2018I think I\u2019m up to it,\u2019 he said with a cheeky look. \u2018As long as you\u2019re paying older brother.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u2018Now how did I know that you\u2019d say that?\u2019 he said. \u2018All right!\u00a0 Come on then.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The two brothers walked side by side over to the Saloon where Adam ordered two beers. \u2018Now don\u2019t you go asking for another one,\u2019 warned Adam. \u2018One is all you\u2019re getting.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ll try and cope,\u2019 said Joe with his best puppy-dog expression. He looked around the Saloon. \u2018It seems like forever since we did this, don\u2019t it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It has been,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018I\u2019m really glad you\u2019re feeling better now Joe. You seem so much more like your old self.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I feel it,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018There are days when I feel really awful still, but they\u2019re less and less I guess. Maybe Pa was right and it gets better with time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Everything does.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah I guess.\u00a0 It won\u2019t ever leave completely though. I still feel\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shot a look at his brother who had gone as white as a sheet. \u2018What\u2019s the matter?\u2019 he asked as he leant forward in his chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t answer him, but put down his beer and stared over Adam\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 Adam turned and looked, but saw nothing. \u2018What is it Joe?\u2019 he asked again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood up. \u2018I want to go home,\u2019 he said in a faint voice. \u2018Let\u2019s get out of here.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u2018You haven\u2019t even had your drink yet,\u2019 he said. \u2018Sit down Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s all right.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head and began to breathe deeply. \u2018No!\u2019 he said anxiously. \u2018I gotta get out of here Adam. Now!\u2019 he said urgently. \u2018Please!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood up and gripped his brother\u2019s arm. \u2018OK buddy hang on,\u2019 he said. \u2018Come on.\u2019\u00a0 He guided the youngster towards the door and onto the street. Joe stood still, looking up and down the street intently. \u2018What is it Joe,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Did you see something?\u2019\u00a0 Joe stared at his brother and nodded, his face pale and sweaty. \u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gripped onto Adam\u2019s arm. \u2018Don\u2019t leave me!\u2019 he said urgently and Adam was surprised to see that there were tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m not going to leave you buddy,\u2019 he said. \u2018What is it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I want\u2026 I have ta go home,\u2019 said Joe urgently, looking up and down the street again. \u2018Please! Now!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam pulled his brother towards their horses. He didn\u2019t know what was going on, but one thing was for sure he knew that he had to get Joe out of there immediately before the boy collapsed on him. He pushed Joe into the saddle and got up onto his own horse. \u2018Come on,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019ll\u2026\u2019\u00a0 But before he could get the words out Joe had turned Cochise and was galloping down the main street as if his life depended on it. \u2018Joe!\u2019 called Adam. \u2018Wait for me!\u2019\u00a0 He turned and galloped off after his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up as the front door banged open and Joseph flew through it, followed closely by Adam.\u00a0 He stood up as he looked at his son\u2019s face which was a mixture of grief and despair. \u2018Pa!\u2019 shouted Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m here Joseph,\u2019 called Ben. \u2018What is it?\u2019 Joe flung himself into his father\u2019s arms and clung to him as if he would never let him go. Ben looked at Adam over the top of the boy\u2019s head. \u2018What?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shrugged and held his hands up. \u2018I don\u2019t know,\u2019 he said. \u2018We were having a drink in the Saloon and then Joe just up and says he had to get home. He won\u2019t tell me what\u2019s wrong.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben tried to walk over to the sofa with his son, but Joe wouldn\u2019t budge. He clung onto his father even tighter. \u2018Joseph let me move,\u2019 said his father \u2018Over here boy and sit down.\u2019 Joe shook his head and continued to hold onto his father. \u2018Joseph,\u2019 Ben tried again. \u2018What is it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t answer, and his breathing began to quicken up again. Ben gave Adam a frustrated look. Adam stepped forward. \u2018Joe you\u2019re hurting Pa,\u2019 he said as he tried to peel his little brother off his father, only to have Joe hit out at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stroked the boy\u2019s head. \u2018It\u2019s alright Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018Just tell me what you saw.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at his father with wide-horror. \u2018It was him!\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s here!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u2018Who\u2019s here?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Barker!\u00a0 I saw him on the street outside the Saloon.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Barker?\u2019 asked Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018The overseer,\u2019 explained Ben. \u2018Joe you couldn\u2019t have seen him son.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t be here.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe drew away from his father. \u2018Yes!\u00a0 Yes he\u2019s here!\u00a0 I saw him Pa\u2026 it was him!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked at his son with a worried expression. \u2018Joe, I know you\u2019re very uptight about all this son, but\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe let go of his father. \u2018You don\u2019t believe me do you?\u2019 he shouted. \u2018I did see him Pa. I know I did!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked at Adam and shook his head. \u2018All right,\u2019 he said. \u2018If you saw him, then what would he be doing here?\u00a0 We are a long way from Alabama son and Barker just wouldn\u2019t make that trip for no reason.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018Don\u2019t you see?\u2019 he said almost in hysterics. \u2018He\u2019s come for me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stepped forward. \u2018Now Joseph that\u2019s just plain nonsense son,\u2019 he said. \u2018Barker wouldn\u2019t come for you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s voice rose to fever pitch. \u2018Yes! Yes he would!\u00a0 You don\u2019t know them Pa!\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what they\u2019re like!\u00a0 He\u2019s come for me!\u2019\u00a0 He flung himself on his father again. \u2018Please don\u2019t let him take me!\u00a0 Please don\u2019t let him Pa!\u201d\u00a0 He slid onto the floor, still clutching his father now around the legs as he looked up at him and begged. \u2018Please Pa!\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him take me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Good Lord!\u2019 exclaimed Adam behind him.\u00a0 He gave his father a shocked look. \u2018Pa\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben knelt down next to his son and held his face in his cupped hand. \u2018Joseph listen to me,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018No one is going to take you anywhere.\u00a0 Even if this man is in town he can\u2019t hurt you.\u00a0 He can\u2019t take you anywhere Joe\u2026do you understand me son?\u2019\u00a0 He stared intently into his son\u2019s eyes. \u2018No one is taking you anywhere Little Joe.\u00a0 You are staying here with me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stopped sobbing and stared into his father\u2019s eyes. He gulped for air for a moment and then began to quiet down, never taking his eyes off those of his father\u2019s. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said faintly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up and pulled his boy to a standing position beside him. \u2018Adam get some brandy,\u2019 he instructed as he walked Joe over to the sofa and sat him down. \u2018Joseph listen to me son,\u2019 he said. \u2018This man has no hold over you remember? \u2018 Joe nodded as he kept staring into his father\u2019s eyes. \u2018He didn\u2019t own you.\u00a0 He only worked for Edwards remember?\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded again. \u2018And even if he did Joe, you don\u2019t have to fear him now.\u00a0 You are free and you have the papers to prove it.\u2019\u00a0 Ben reached out for the glass that Adam held out to him and forced it to his son\u2019s lips and forced him to drink it. Joe spluttered as the last of the alcohol went down his throat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said as he pushed the glass away. \u2018I need them papers.\u2019\u00a0 His eyes searched wildly around the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s all right son.\u00a0 They\u2019re in the safe.\u00a0 Remember?\u2019 Ben said gently.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I need em Pa!\u2019 said Joe, beginning to get agitated again. \u2018Please! I want to see em!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded to Adam who went over to the safe and pulled out the papers. Joe grabbed them from his brother\u2019s hand and stuffed them inside his jacket as if his life depended on them, which in fact he felt it did.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stroked his son\u2019s hair. \u2018Listen to me Joseph,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019re going back into town and\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe leapt off the sofa. \u2018No!\u2019 he shouted. \u2018I ain\u2019t going in there!\u00a0 He\u2019ll get me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up beside him. \u2018Son\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No!\u2019 Joe turned and sprinted up the stairs and Ben and Adam heard the slamming of his bedroom door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa!\u2019 said Adam with a shocked look on his face. \u2018I had no idea!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018I told you how he was,\u2019 he said. \u2018You didn\u2019t see him down there Adam. \u2018Now you can begin to understand just what they did to him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018If just the thought of that man does this to him, then I\u2019m glad I never did witness it all,\u2019 said Adam sitting down on the sofa with a stunned expression on his face. \u2018How did you stand it Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat down next to him. \u2018I had no choice,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018But what I witnessed was nothing compared to all that your brother went through Adam.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at the stairs where Joe had run. \u2018For his own peace of mind we have to end this.\u00a0 If Barker is in town then I need to know it so that he can be dealt with. \u2018If he isn\u2019t in town, then Joe needs to know it once and for all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood up. \u2018I\u2019ll take Hoss with me,\u2019 he said. \u2018What do you want us to do if we find him?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018Nothing,\u2019 he said. \u2018Just come back and tell me if he\u2019s there or not.\u00a0 After all, the man hasn\u2019t exactly done anything has he?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Not here he hasn\u2019t,\u2019 said Adam with a scowl. \u2018On second thoughts I\u2019ll go alone.\u00a0 Who knows what Hoss might do if he comes into contact with a man like that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Do nothing,\u2019 repeated his father. \u2018Just find out if he\u2019s there and come back home again. Understood?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Understood,\u2019 replied Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up and walked towards the stairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The first thing that struck him as he entered Joe\u2019s bedroom was the way in which the boy was seated.\u00a0 He was huddled on his bed in a tight ball as he rocked, one hand clutching his papers firmly in his hand and the other massaging his foot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Is it hurting?\u2019 asked Ben as he sat down on the bed next to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Your brother has gone into town to check out about Barker,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He ain\u2019t gonna tell him where I am is he?\u2019 asked Joe looking at his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018Don\u2019t worry Joseph. \u2018He\u2019s just going to find out where Barker is, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded and started rocking again.\u00a0 Ben placed his hands on his son\u2019s shoulders to keep him still. \u2018Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018I want you to look at me son.\u2019 Joe looked at his father. \u2018If this man is in town\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019s there!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018I\u2019m going to have to talk to him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018If I don\u2019t then we won\u2019t know why he\u2019s here, will we?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019s here to take me away!\u2019 Joe clutched his papers tightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u2018We don\u2019t know that Joe,\u2019 he said gently. \u2018We have to be sure what he wants don\u2019t we?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I suppose so.\u00a0 But I ain\u2019t gonna see him!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t expect you to,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018I\u2019m going to deal with this. You don\u2019t have to have anything to do with the man.\u00a0 All right?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben tried to push the boy back on his bed. \u2018Lay down and relax,\u2019 he said. \u2018You aren\u2019t going to help anything by worrying about it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe lay down, still clutching his papers to his chest.\u00a0 He stared at the ceiling for a long time in silence before speaking. \u2018Remember when they took me away that day in the jail?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben closed his eyes. The sight of his son bound and being dragged across the floor while he stood helpless in the cell next to him would haunt him forever. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I promised you something that day Pa.\u00a0 Do you remember what it was?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Yes Joe I do,\u2019 he said. \u2018I made you promise that you would do whatever it took to keep safe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe rolled over onto his side so that he faced his father. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said. \u2018And I aim to do it again Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna do whatever it takes to keep safe because I ain\u2019t going back there again.\u00a0 I swear to you that I won\u2019t let it happen.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather die right here than go back to that place.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben jerked at the intensity in his son\u2019s voice and face. \u2018Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018There\u2019s no need to talk like that. You don\u2019t need to do anything son.\u2019\u00a0 Joe lay still and stared at his father. \u2018Do you think for one moment that I\u2019d let anything like that ever happen to you again?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged. \u2018You couldn\u2019t stop em last time Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Believe me you won\u2019t have to worry about it this time, cause I aim to stop em before they get the chance to take me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his hand over his eyes. \u2018I don\u2019t want to hear you talk like that Joseph,\u2019 he said. \u2018There\u2019s no need for it son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe rolled over and faced the wall with his back to his father. Ben reached out and put a hand on his head as father and son remained silent together.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019s there all right,\u2019 said Adam grimly. \u2018I thought he\u2019d be under some kind of assumed name at least, but he\u2019s staying at The International House under his own name.\u00a0 He arrived on this morning\u2019s stage.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re sure it\u2019s him?\u2019 asked Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well as sure as I can be,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018As I said, he\u2019s registered under the name of Barker.\u00a0 I got a look at him too.\u00a0 He\u2019s heavy-set, with thinning reddish-brown hair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That\u2019s him,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018What was he doing?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u2018Nothing.\u00a0 Just walking around town.\u00a0 It\u2019s as if he wanted to be found.\u2019 Ben\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u2018Where\u2019s Joe?\u2019 asked Adam. \u2018Has he calmed down any?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018A bit,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018Hoss is upstairs with him in his bedroom. He still insists that Barker is here to take him away.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well I don\u2019t see how he can. From what you told us he\u2019s got no authority over the boy.\u00a0 No one has.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018That\u2019s right,\u2019 he said. \u2018But he\u2019s up to something.\u2019\u00a0 He strode over to the front door and began to put on his gun-belt. \u2018And I aim to find out what it is.\u00a0 Stay with your brother Adam.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to need both you and Hoss here while I\u2019m gone.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But Pa, don\u2019t you think one of us should go with you?\u2019 asked Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u00a0 I\u2019m capable of handling whatever this Barker has in mind,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018It\u2019s important that Joe is looked after while I\u2019m doing it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u2018All right,\u2019 he said. \u2018Have you told Hoss what\u2019s going on?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes. And that\u2019s another reason for you staying here,\u2019 said Ben grimly. \u2018I need you to keep an eye on him too.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want him going off half-cocked.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his son as he opened the door. \u2018I\u2019m counting on you Adam,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll be home as soon as I can.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sighed as the front door closed behind his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well that didn\u2019t take very long,\u2019 said Barker as he opened the door to Ben\u2019s knock. \u2018Come in.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You were expecting me?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Of course,\u2019 the man said simply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What do you want Barker?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker hesitated. \u2018How\u2019s Joseph?\u2019 he said. \u2018Better than the last time I saw him I hope?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I asked you what you wanted?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker turned and walked across the room towards the window. \u2018Such a beautiful piece of merchandise that boy,\u2019 he said. \u2018I could understand how Edwards prized him so highly.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took a step forward, his fists clenched. \u2018If you make one move towards my son I\u2019ll see you dead!\u2019 he said in a threatening voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker opened his eyes wide. \u2018Hurt Joseph?\u2019 he said in mock innocence. \u2018Whatever would make you think that I\u2019d hurt the boy?\u00a0 Oh no Cartwright, he\u2019s too valuable to risk harming.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben held a finger up under the man\u2019s nose. \u2018That boy is free!\u2019 he said. \u2018I personally had the papers drawn up and they are in my possession.\u00a0 You have no legal right to act on your behalf or that of Edwards if that\u2019s what you\u2019re here for!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019ve got it all wrong Cartwright!\u2019 said Barker with a smile. \u2018I\u2019m not here for Edwards.\u00a0 As a matter of fact he and I had a disagreement soon after you left and I\u2019m not in his employment any more.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Then what are you doing here?\u2019 demanded Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You know, it always struck how much you must think of that boy,\u2019 mused Barker. \u2018The day you came storming into Edwards house and demanded he sell him to you.\u00a0 Remember that?\u2019 Ben glared at him, but said nothing. \u2018Well I was amazed when I came in to witness your signatures,\u2019 continued Barker. \u2018You plonked down $30 000 without blinking.\u2019\u00a0 He smiled. \u2018I began to say to myself, Barker.. if this man has that much money to throw around on a slave then just think how much he must be worth.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u2018So it\u2019s blackmail is it?\u2019 he asked. \u2018You\u2019ve come here for money?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker put his hands up. \u2018Of course,\u2019 he said calmly. \u2018You don\u2019t think I want the boy do you? I may have worked for slave owners Cartwright, but it don\u2019t mean that I\u2019m one myself.\u00a0 No\u2026a boy like that is worth a fortune to those who want him\u2026personally, I\u2019d rather have the fortune.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben drew a deep breath. \u2018You\u2019ll get nothing from me!\u2019 he declared. \u2018I told you I have the papers to prove that Joseph is free!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u00a0 I checked in Alabama before I left,\u2019 said Barker. \u2018It was all done legal like.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Then what?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I did some checking about you and your family back in New Orleans,\u2019 the man continued. \u2018And what I found out here in Virginia City confirms my suspicions.\u2019\u00a0 He leant forward. \u2018You\u2019re quite a big wheel around these parts ain\u2019t ya?\u00a0 Wonder what people would say if they knew the truth about that precious boy of yours?\u00a0 Wonder what they\u2019d say if they knew he was nothing more than a nigger?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben strode forward and pulled the man forward by the collar so that he was looking directly into his eyes. \u2018You get out of this town or I\u2019ll have you thrown out1\u2019 he said in a low voice as he threw him back against the wall.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker picked himself up and dusted off his jacket. \u2018Really?\u2019 he said coolly. \u2018And just how are you going to do that? I\u2019ve committed no crime.\u00a0 I\u2019ve done nothing wrong.\u00a0 I\u2019m simply a traveller passing through that\u2019s all.\u2019\u00a0 He smiled at Ben. \u2018Face it Cartwright I\u2019ve got you over a barrel with this one.\u00a0 It\u2019s the money or your kid\u2019s reputation. No choice really is there?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath. \u2018How much?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker shrugged. \u2018I\u2019m not a greedy man. I figure you owe me at least what you paid Edwards though. $30 000 should do it.\u2019 Ben\u2019s eyes widened. \u2018I\u2019ll have it by Friday,\u2019 said Barker. \u2018I\u2019ll be on the stage to San Francisco by noon.\u2019 Ben turned his back on the man and walked to the door. \u2018That\u2019s if you pay up,\u2019 Barker continued. \u2018If you don\u2019t, then I guess I\u2019ll just have to stay in town for a while longer.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have some things to talk about won\u2019t I?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave him a withering look and slammed the door behind him.\u00a0 He heard Barker\u2019s laughter through the doorway as he walked towards the staircase, his head pounding with the blood that threatened to explode inside it.\u00a0 He banged his fist on the top of the banister as he marched down the stairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chapter 2:<\/p>\n \u2018$30 000!\u2019 exclaimed Adam. \u2018He\u2019s got to be joking!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben saw the pained look that flitted across Joe\u2019s face at his brother\u2019s words and he hastened to say. \u2018This is no joke Adam.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That\u2019s not what I meant,\u2019 said Adam, stealing a look at Joe. \u2018I just meant that he can\u2019t hope to get away with it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ll take the $30 000 out of his hide!\u2019 declared Hoss. \u2018When I get my hands on that guy I\u2019ll\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019ll do nothing of the kind!\u2019 said Ben angrily. \u2018That\u2019s the very thing that will lead to trouble.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hung his head. \u2018There\u2019s no way I\u2019m gonna let that poor excuse fer a human being talk about my brother like that!\u2019 he said angrily.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He ain\u2019t gonna say nothing about me,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018He\u2019ll just take the money and go.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked at his youngest son. Since he had heard that Barker wanted money and wasn\u2019t after taking him anywhere, Ben could sense the relief in the boy.\u00a0 But he was still very agitated about the man being close by and obviously wanted him gone as quickly as possible. \u2018Joe it\u2019s not that simple,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned to his father with wide eyes.\u2019 Why not?\u2019 he asked. \u2018You\u2019ll just pay him the money and he\u2019ll go away.\u00a0 He won\u2019t say nothing about me!\u2019 His expression was one of pleading, willing his father to agree with him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his arm around his youngest son\u2019s shoulders. \u2018Joseph if I pay this man, then it won\u2019t be an end to it son.\u00a0 I\u2019ve dealt with blackmailers before.\u00a0 This will just be the beginning of it and he\u2019ll come back for more.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared at his father as he whispered. \u2018You gotta pay it Pa! You can\u2019t let him tell everyone!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben pulled his son close to him. \u2018We just need to think through all the possibilities before we do anything Joseph, that\u2019s all I\u2019m saying. Don\u2019t worry son.\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to hurt you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sprang to his feet. \u2018You ain\u2019t gonna pay him are you?\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna let him tell everyone that I\u2019m a \u2026.that I\u2019m\u2026you can\u2019t Pa!\u00a0 Please don\u2019t let him do it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up next to his son. \u2018Joseph calm down,\u2019 he said. \u2018I didn\u2019t say that did I?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe pushed his father away from him. \u2018You don\u2019t know him Pa! None of you know him! He\u2019s the one who held me down while they did it to me! Did you know that?\u00a0 He told them to do it to me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Do what?\u2019 asked Hoss with a puzzled expression on his face. \u2018What\u2019d he do to ya Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe pulled off his boot and sock and held up his foot for his brothers to see. \u2018This!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018Now do you understand? He got them to\u2026 to hold me down.\u00a0 He said it would only take a minute and then he stood and watched while they did it to me.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t care! He tied me up when they told him to as well so that they could beat me and he put them leg irons on me so that I couldn\u2019t walk properly.\u2019\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice started to shake. \u2018And you tell me that we have to think through all the possibilities! No! I ain\u2019t thinking about anything but getting rid of him\u2026and if you ain\u2019t gonna pay him the money then I\u2019ll\u2026 I\u2019ll go and get rid of him myself!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 face went green as he stared at his brother\u2019s foot. He closed his eyes and a single tear began to fall down his cheek.\u00a0 \u2018Joe!\u2019 he said under his breath. \u2018I didn\u2019t know.\u2019\u00a0 He put his face in his hands and wept.\u00a0 Adam stepped forward and stood next to Hoss and put his arm around him while he looked at his father silently, his own face showing his horror at his brother\u2019s words.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took a step forward and held onto Joe\u2019s shoulders. \u2018I\u2019ll pay him tomorrow Joseph,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018If that\u2019s what you want son, I\u2019ll pay him tomorrow and every day after that if that\u2019s what it takes to keep you happy.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe collapsed into his father\u2019s arms and hugged him tightly. \u2018Thank you Pa,\u2019 he wept into the man\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Oh God, thank you!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I thought we\u2019d seen the last of each other for a while Cartwright,\u2019 said Barker. \u2018Come to see me off have you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glared at the man standing by the stagecoach. \u2018I\u2019ve come to make sure you get on that stagecoach,\u2019 he said firmly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker glanced at Adam standing next to his father. \u2018Need two of you to do that does it?\u2019 he asked in a mocking tone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018We Cartwrights are careful men,\u2019 said Adam in a low voice as he put his hand on his gun and stared at Barker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So I see,\u2019 said Barker in the same mocking tone. \u2018Well gentlemen it\u2019s goodbye for now.\u2019 He patted the satchel under his arm and smiled. \u2018We\u2019ll see how long this lasts shall we?\u00a0 I\u2019m sure we can do business again in the future when I\u2019ve gone through it.\u00a0 Should be easy to do in a city like San Francisco I imagine.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019ve had your last dollar from me Barker,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Really?\u2019 replied the man. \u2018Somehow I don\u2019t think so Cartwright. No, I\u2019m sure you and I will be seeing more of each other in the future.\u2019 He smiled over Ben\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Ah\u2026 it looks as though I get to say goodbye to the young man in question after all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben and Adam turned sharply to see Joe and Hoss standing behind them.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face was very pale, but his jaw was set firmly in a way that Ben knew well.\u00a0 It was the look his father had termed Joe\u2019s \u2018stubborn\u2019 look for want of a better term and all the family had witnessed it over the years at various times when the youngest Cartwright\u2019s volatile nature got the better of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph!\u2019 Ben said sharply. \u2018What are you doing here?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss put up his hands in a gesture of futility. \u2018I tried ta stop him Pa, but he just wouldn\u2019t listen ta me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shot a glance at his father. \u2018I had to come Pa,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018I had to\u2026to make sure that he was really going.\u2019\u00a0 He pointed at Barker who continued to grin at him. Ben stepped over next to his son, acutely aware of the boy\u2019s trembling body and how hard this must be for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well you certainly look much better than the last time I saw you Joseph,\u2019 said Barker as he gave Joe a long slow look up and down. Joe felt the man\u2019s eyes rake over him appraisingly and he took an involuntarily step towards his father. Barker shook his head. \u2018Must say that Edwards was mighty short-sighted in getting rid of you though boy.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Get on that stage and shut up!\u2019 said Adam as he grasped hold of the man\u2019s arm. \u2018Now!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Steady on!\u2019 said Barker shaking his arm free and looking around. \u2018We don\u2019t want to make a scene, do we now? There\u2019s plenty of time to get on board.\u2019 He turned to Joe again and nodded. \u2018Yes, Edwards sure was wrong in selling you so quick boy.\u00a0 I still maintain that $30 000 was too cheap a price considering…\u2019 he pointed at Joe\u2019s crotch, \u2018considering what you could have made for him in time with that.\u2019 Joe gasped and went pale, while his father and brothers stood in shock at the man\u2019s words. \u2018Oh, didn\u2019t Joseph ever tell you?\u2019 continued Barker. \u2018He had quite a future planned out for him in Alabama. Edwards was on the lookout for a light-skinned young filly to pair him up with and would have done it too if you hadn\u2019t turned up when you did Cartwright.\u2019\u00a0 He grinned nastily. \u2018Seems a shame to think the boy\u2019s looks have gone to waste though.\u00a0 There\u2019s a fortune there if only\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker got no further as Hoss stepped forward and put his hands around the man\u2019s throat. He squeezed tightly while staring into his eyes, his eyes boring into the man as he held onto him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hoss!\u2019 yelled Ben as he and Adam bounded forward. \u2018Hoss let him go!\u2019\u00a0 It took both of them to pull Hoss back from Barker and when they did they had to use every ounce of strength to hold him there. \u2018Get on that stage now if you value your life!\u2019 yelled Ben as he and Adam struggled with Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barker needed no second bidding.\u00a0 Rubbing his throat with one hand, he quickly mounted the two steps into the stagecoach and banged the door shut. He poked his head out of the window as the coach pulled away from the kerb. \u2018That just cost you Cartwright!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018You haven\u2019t seen the last of me, I promise you!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stopped struggling as the stagecoach pulled away from them and Adam and Ben slowly let him go.\u00a0 Ben quickly turned to Joe who was standing as if rooted to the spot, tears streaming down his face as he stared after the stagecoach. \u2018Son\u2026\u2019 said Ben as he stepped towards his boy, but Joe stepped back from his father while shaking his head and ran down the street towards his horse as fast as his legs would carry him. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 called Ben anxiously. \u2018Come back Joe!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe kept running as if he hadn\u2019t heard his father and sprang onto Cochise.\u00a0 Before any of the other Cartwrights could react he had galloped down the street and was out of sight. Ben turned to Adam and Hoss whose faces were still registering their shock at Barker\u2019s words on their faces. \u2018Get after him!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018Split up and get after him boys!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to stop him! Quickly!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n All three Cartwrights sprang on their horses and rode off down the street after Joe.\u00a0 Ben felt the blood pounding in his head as he thought about Barker\u2019s words and the implications of them, but pushed his thought to the back of his mind.\u00a0 The important thing now was to get to Joseph before he did anything stupid.\u00a0 The rest of it would wait until he could talk to the boy.\u00a0 But there was one image that he couldn\u2019t get rid of\u2026 not even temporarily.\u00a0 The sheer horror on his youngest son\u2019s face as Barker spoke.\u00a0 It would be forever implanted in Ben\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned expectantly as the front door banged open for the second time in half an hour and Hoss strode through it, his face as black as thunder. He shook his head at his father and looked questionably at him and Adam. \u2018Nothing,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Between us we probably covered the whole of The Ponderosa today looking for him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben hung his head and regained his place on the sofa. \u2018Well then he\u2019s probably gone further than The Ponderosa,\u2019 said Hoss grimly and turned back towards the door. \u2018I\u2019ll start looking again.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018Come back here Hoss.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss strode over to his father. \u2018Pa I ain\u2019t leaving that little guy out there by himself!\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018I aim ta find him!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up at his son. \u2018And just how far will you get in the dark?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Use your brains Hoss!\u00a0 We\u2019ll have to sit it out until morning now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018I\u2019m going back out there Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Who knows what\u2019s going through that head of Joe\u2019s right about now.\u00a0 You saw his face!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben closed his eyes.\u00a0 Yes…he had seen his son\u2019s face, much and all as he wished he hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hoss, Pa is right,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018We couldn\u2019t hope to\u2026\u2019\u00a0 He turned as the front door opened again and Joe appeared framed in the doorway. He walked across the room without a word, his face ashen and his eyes half-closed. His arms were tightly wound around his waist.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph!\u2019 said Ben, springing up from the sofa. \u2018Son, we were so worried about you!\u2019 He took three strides over to where Joe had reached the bottom of the staircase and grabbed his son from behind by the shoulders to stop him going any further. There was silence for a moment…a silence so deep that the ticking of the grandfather clock could be heard distinctly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So now you know,\u2019 said Joe in a whisper. He stared straight ahead of him up the stairs and didn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben held him firmly by the shoulders. \u2018It doesn\u2019t matter what Barker said Joe\u2026\u2019 he began. \u2018All that matters is that\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe thrust his father\u2019s hands off him and ran up the stairs two at a time.\u00a0 Ben looked after him with a grief-stricken look.\u00a0 Behind him Adam and Hoss were silent.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well?\u2019 asked Adam as his father descended the stairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018He\u2019s locked the door and won\u2019t open it,\u2019 he said wearily. \u2018I think I need to leave him alone for a while.\u00a0 At least we know where he is now, that\u2019s something.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stared into fire and said nothing. His face was still as black as thunder and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists with rhythmic consistency. \u2018I shoulda killed Barker,\u2019 he said under his breath. \u2018I shoulda killed him right then and there.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018And what would that have done?\u2019 asked Adam. \u2018It wouldn\u2019t have solved anything.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss glared at him. \u2018It woulda kept him quiet!\u2019 he said. \u2018It woulda kept him from hurting Joe any more!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u2018He was only stating facts about things that have already happened. None of us can change the past Hoss, much and all as we\u2019d like to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. \u2018Well I can sure as anything change the future,\u2019 he said. \u2018You know as well as I do that Barker will be back for more money and I don\u2019t aim ta let him near Joe again.\u2019\u00a0 He banged his fist into the back of the sofa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well by the look of Joe he\u2019s just about at the end of his tether,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018I hope he didn\u2019t do anything stupid today.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Meaning?\u2019 asked Ben.\u00a0 They all turned at the sound of an insistent knock on the front door.\u00a0 Adam bounded over to it and opened it to reveal Roy Coffee standing there. \u2018Roy,\u2019 called Ben. \u2018Come in.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy entered the room slowly, looking from one face to the other. \u2018I see by the look of you that you\u2019ve already heard the news,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u2018News?\u00a0 What news?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy faced his friend. \u2018So you haven\u2019t heard?\u2019 he asked unnecessarily.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Roy get to the point,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018What is it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That feller Barker that has been in town the last few days,\u2019 said Roy. \u2018He was killed this afternoon in Carson City.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What?!\u2019 Ben took a step forward. \u2018How?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Seems that he was carrying a lot of money with him,\u2019 said Roy carefully. \u2018He was shot when the stage had a layover in Carson City.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why have you come to tell us?\u2019 asked Adam.\u00a0 To his knowledge the sheriff had no reason to link the Cartwrights with the man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy held out a gun. \u2018This one of yours Ben?\u2019 he asked. \u2018It\u2019s got your mark on it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Any idea where it\u2019s come from?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shrugged. \u2018Roy I wouldn\u2019t know.\u00a0 We have so many guns around here, you know that.\u00a0 It could have come from anywhere on the Ranch. Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s the murder weapon,\u2019 replied the sheriff.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n All three Cartwrights stared at the gun in the palm of the sheriff\u2019s hand.\u00a0 It was as Ben had said\u2026a standard gun that they all used.\u00a0 It could have been picked up anywhere on the ranch by one of the hands or any of them.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes darted up the stairs and his blood went cold as he thought of his traumatised son up there in his bedroom and what he might have done.\u00a0 Who knows what the boy would have been capable of after today\u2019s events?\u00a0 He swallowed as he realised that Roy was speaking again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What?\u2019 he asked fearfully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I said that I\u2019ll have to talk to all of you together,\u2019 explained Roy. \u2018I\u2019m not saying any of you had anything to do with it Ben, but its standard procedure you understand.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded and sat down again. \u2018Of course,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy hesitated. \u2018You\u2019ll need to get Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018I need to question all of you.\u2019 Ben stared up the stairs again, his brain working overtime as he tried to sort out his thoughts. \u2018Ben?\u2019 asked Roy again. \u2018Will you get Joe down here?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up and faced his friend. \u2018There\u2019s no need to,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s me you want Roy.\u00a0 I shot Barker.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam gave his father a shocked look and Hoss yelled \u2018Pa!\u2019 before he could stop himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned to his sons and gave them both a meaningful look. \u2018You heard what I said boys,\u2019 he said. \u2018I shot Barker and that\u2019s all there is to it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But Pa,\u2019 said Adam,\u2019 glancing up the stairs. \u2018You don\u2019t know for sure\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben held up his hand and glanced at Roy. \u2018Adam,\u2019 he said. \u2018That\u2019s enough. I\u2019m going into town with Roy now and I want you to get to Hiram Wood as soon as possible to organise bail for me.\u00a0 Hoss, you\u2019re to stay with Joseph please.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stepped forward. \u2018Pa\u2026you can\u2019t,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned to Roy. \u2018I\u2019ll saddle my horse Roy,\u2019 he said. \u2018Hoss\u2026look after your brother.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him leave this house.\u00a0 Do you understand me?\u2019\u00a0 He left the room, followed by a shocked Sheriff Coffee.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss and Adam stood looking at each other in silence for a moment before Hoss spoke. \u2018Adam you don\u2019t think\u2026\u2019 his voice trailed away. \u2018Little Joe couldn\u2019t a done it, could he?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u2018I don\u2019t know Hoss.\u00a0 You saw him when he came in.\u2019 He picked up his hat. \u2018I\u2019d better do as Pa says and get into town.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Hiram will get bail organised quickly. Once Pa is home again we can sort all this out with Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss turned to Adam. \u2018This is sure proving to be an expensive week,\u2019 he said mournfully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded as he glanced at the staircase again. \u2018In more ways than one,\u2019 he replied.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram Wood, Attorney at Law, sighed as he looked at the man slumped on the bunk across from him in the small cell.\u00a0 He usually preferred to do his consulting in his office, but at this time of night and given the circumstances of the tragedy that was unfolding in front of him, he didn\u2019t see that could he afford that luxury.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ben?\u2019 he said. \u2018I need to know what this is all about\u2026and I mean all of it.\u00a0 If there\u2019s something you\u2019re not telling me\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018I\u2019ve told you all I can Hiram.\u00a0 Barker and I had a business disagreement.\u00a0 He was blackmailing me and I paid him the $30 000.\u00a0 I tried to get it back, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What was the business disagreement about?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018I don\u2019t see that it\u2019s important,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram gave the man a frustrated look. \u2018Everything about this whole incident is important!\u2019 he said. \u2018Don\u2019t you understand what\u2019s going on here Ben? You\u2019re going to be on trial for murder if you don\u2019t give me something else to go on.\u00a0 Without the whole story my hands are tied!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up at the Attorney. \u2018I\u2019ve said all that I can,\u2019 he stated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram stood up and began to pace up and down the cell. \u2018What happened at the time of the shooting?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shrugged. \u2018I shot him, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram glared at him. \u2018I need details Ben!\u2019 he said. \u2018Did the man threaten you?\u00a0 Was there a scuffle? What happened for God\u2019s sake?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up and faced his Attorney. \u2018Can\u2019t we just go through all of this later?\u2019 he asked. \u2018All I want at the moment is to get out of here and back home to my boys.\u00a0 Is that possible?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram nodded. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he acknowledged. \u2018That\u2019s very possible.\u00a0 Given your good character and background around here there\u2019s no way that they\u2019ll hold you until the trial.\u00a0 First thing in the morning we should be able to get it organised.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Good,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But after that, we\u2019ll have to work hard on this,\u2019 Hiram continued. \u2018We can\u2019t afford to waste any time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Just get me out of here and home to my boys,\u2019 he said. \u2018Then we\u2019ll worry about the trial.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram narrowed his eyes. \u2018Ben I know you,\u2019 he said. \u2018You\u2019re holding out on me. If you\u2019re covering up for someone then it\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018It\u2019s nothing like that,\u2019 he said. \u2018Hiram…please.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018All right, I\u2019ll say no more for now,\u2019 replied the other man. \u2018But with your permission I\u2019m going to wire the Governor tomorrow.\u00a0 I have a feeling we\u2019re going to need his help if we can get it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Help?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram took a deep breath. \u2018To save your skin,\u2019 he said. \u2018If this trial goes the way I think it could, then you could be facing a hanging.\u00a0 We need to get the Governor onside if we have any chance of commuting that to a jail term.\u2019 He paused. \u2018Unless you have anything else to tell me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stared out of the small barred window. \u2018No,\u2019 he said in a small voice. \u2018I have nothing else to tell you Hiram. \u2018Please contact the Governor.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram shook his head and left the cell as Ben continued to stare out of the window.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa!\u2019 said Hoss with a grin. \u2018It\u2019s good to have ya back!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben returned the look. \u2018It\u2019s good to be back Hoss,\u2019 he said as he took off his hat. \u2018How is everything here son?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u2018Still the same,\u2019 he said. \u2018Joe\u2019s still up in his room.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s been trying to get him to come out but he won\u2019t.\u00a0 He just lays up there and stares at the ceiling as if he don\u2019t hear anything we\u2019re saying to him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned as Adam came down the stairs. \u2018Pa!\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m glad you\u2019re home!\u00a0 I was coming into town soon if you\u2019d hadn\u2019t made it back here. What did Hiram say?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sit down boys,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018We need to talk.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa, you can\u2019t do this,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018We all know that you\u2019re trying to cover for Joe and its just not logical. You don\u2019t even know that he had anything to do with Barker\u2019s death.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018That\u2019s true,\u2019 he said. \u2018And I aim to find out now if he did. But in the meantime, I wasn\u2019t about to let that boy go through anything else after everything that\u2019s happened to him already. There was no way he could have stood being questioned by Roy last night.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So what will you do if you find out that he did shoot Barker?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018It\u2019s like I just said Hoss.\u00a0 Joseph can\u2019t cope with anything else at the moment. If your brother did do this, then my story stands.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa you can\u2019t!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his hand on Hoss\u2019 shoulder. \u2018Yes son, I can,\u2019 he said. \u2018I pray to God it won\u2019t come to that, but if it does\u2026well I\u2019ll do anything to keep that boy safe. Lord knows he\u2019s been through enough without having to face a trial. Besides,\u2019 he added. \u2018Hiram is going to contact the Governor in case we need his intervention.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned. \u2018What does that mean?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He could have any sentence overruled if he saw fit,\u2019 said Adam as he studied his father\u2019s face. \u2018You\u2019re thinking it might come to that Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shrugged. \u2018I don\u2019t know what to think at the moment,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018And the truth about what happened to Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Is not to be mentioned,\u2019 said their father. \u2018You\u2019ve seen the boy\u2019s reaction to the very thought of it.\u00a0 I won\u2019t have it become an issue in all of this!\u2019\u00a0 He stared at his two sons. \u2018I mean it boys!\u2019 he said. \u2018There is to be no mention of it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam took a deep breath. \u2018Pa, you\u2019re asking us to choose between our father and our brother,\u2019 he said. \u2018How can you ask that of us?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m not asking you boys,\u2019 replied their father. \u2018There is no choice in all of this.\u00a0 I\u2019ve already made up my mind and it\u2019s out of your hands now.\u2019\u00a0 He stood up. \u2018Besides, it may not even come to that.\u2019\u00a0 He looked up at the stairs. \u2018I\u2019m going up to see Joseph now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He moved over to the staircase and walked up as Adam and Hoss watched him. \u2018Adam, we can\u2019t let him do this,\u2019 said Hoss mournfully. \u2018We just can\u2019t!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sighed and put his head in his hands. \u2018What else do we do?\u2019 he asked. \u2018You heard Pa.\u00a0 We have no choice.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph?\u2019 Ben sat next to his son and watched as the boy covered his eyes with his hands as if to block out the view of his father. \u2018Joseph?\u2019 Ben put a hand on his son\u2019s head and stroked his hair gently.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Go away Pa,\u2019 said Joe softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph we need to talk,\u2019 persisted Ben. \u2018There\u2019s something I have to tell you son.\u2019 Joe said nothing. \u2018It\u2019s about Barker Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben noticed the boy\u2019s breathing begin to quicken and he turned his head towards the wall. \u2018Listen to me Little Joe,\u2019 he said in the same soft tone. \u2018Barker is dead.\u2019\u00a0 There was no reaction from the boy on the bed. \u2018Did you hear me son? Barker can\u2019t hurt you anymore. He\u2019s dead.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Good!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben flinched. \u2018Joe I need to ask you something son,\u2019 he said. \u2018Did you have anything to do with it?\u2019\u00a0 Joe remained silent. \u2018Son? Did you shoot Barker?\u2019\u00a0 Again the boy said nothing, but continued to stare at the wall. Ben sighed. \u2018I can understand you not wanting to talk about him Joe, but I need to know. It\u2019s very important.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe began to cry softly, his tears falling unchecked onto the pillow. Ben stared at him and continued to stroke his hair, murmuring to him as he did so. \u2018I know you were hurt and embarrassed by what he said about you yesterday Joseph,\u2019 he said. \u2018But it\u2019s all over now. He\u2019s dead and there\u2019s no need to fear him any more.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He was gonna come back again,\u2019 whispered Joe. \u2018He said so.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Yes he did,\u2019 he said. \u2018But he can\u2019t come back now.\u00a0 He can\u2019t do anything to you ever again Joseph.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No he can\u2019t come back now,\u2019 repeated Joe. \u2018He\u2019s dead.\u2019 He narrowed his eyes for a moment. \u2018I told you I wouldn\u2019t let him hurt me again didn\u2019t I Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben jerked as he stared at his son. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said. \u2018What did you do son?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I didn\u2019t let them Pa,\u2019 mumbled Joe. \u2018That\u2019s why I was running away that day. I didn\u2019t let them.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018They said those things\u2026things they was gonna do, but I didn\u2019t let them.\u00a0 I had to go. I had to get out of there.\u2019\u00a0 He turned and looked at his father \u2018I\u2019m sorry Pa!\u00a0 I know I said that I\u2019d do whatever it took to stay safe, but I just couldn\u2019t stay there. I couldn\u2019t!\u2019 he clutched at his father\u2019s vest. \u2018Not with them saying all them things about me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What Barker said was true!\u00a0 They was gonna make me\u2026 like I was an animal or something!\u00a0 He woulda helped em too!\u00a0 I know he woulda! I couldn\u2019t let him do that!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben heard his son\u2019s voice becoming hysterical as the panic took hold of him again. \u2018Joe calm down,\u2019 he said. \u2018You\u2019re not there any more and Barker is gone.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe continued speaking over the top of his father\u2019s voice. \u2018I\u2026 I hated them all!\u00a0 I hated him!\u00a0 I\u2019m glad he\u2019s dead\u2026he deserved to die!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben leant close to his son. \u2018Joseph did you shoot him?\u2019 he asked again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared back at his father uncomprehendingly. \u2018Please Pa!\u2019 he pleaded. \u2018Please don\u2019t tell anyone!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want anyone to know!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No one is going to know son. No one will know.\u2019\u00a0 Ben felt his own heart breaking as he looked at his son sobbing on the bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Don\u2019t let them know Pa,\u2019 repeated Joe, tightening his grip on his father.\u00a0 \u2018No one can know about me.\u00a0 Please!!!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben drew his son close to his chest and rocked him backwards and forwards as the tears fell from his own face and mingled with those of his son\u2019s. \u2018I promise you Joseph,\u2019 he said. \u2018No one will know.\u00a0 I promise you son.\u2019\u00a0 He stared over the top of the sobbing boy\u2019s head as he rocked him and noticed Adam standing in the doorway watching them both.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018There is no choice,\u2019 whispered Ben. \u2018You can see that, can\u2019t you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded miserably. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why so soon?\u2019 asked Ben quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Judge Wilcox sees no reason to put it off any longer,\u2019 replied Hiram. \u2018Plus there\u2019s so much interest in this case Ben that I think he\u2019s of the opinion that the sooner we get it over with the better really. Of course if you think we need more time to discuss your defence I can always ask for an extension.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at Ben hopefully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018There\u2019s no need to prolong this Hiram.\u00a0 Perhaps the judge is right and the sooner we get it over with the better.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram sighed as he packed up his briefcase. \u2018Alright then Ben,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll see you in court tomorrow then.\u2019 He stood up. \u2018Oh\u2026 by the way\u2026 I got the answer from the Governor\u2019s office this afternoon. I think we can be assured of any sentence being commuted to a jail term.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u2019 Good,\u2019 he said faintly. \u2018Thank you Hiram.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018The Governor is the one you owe thanks to Ben, not me. He must think mighty highly of you to do this.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded again. \u2018I have many good friends,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s at a time like this that a man realises just how important friends and family are.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram patted him on the back. \u2018Good night Ben,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll do my best for you tomorrow.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Thank you,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He watched as the Attorney left the room. Behind him, Adam stood up. \u2018Pa,\u2019 he said as he came forward to stand next to his father. \u2018There\u2019s still a chance that everything will be all right.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at his son. \u2018I\u2019m pleading guilty Adam, remember?\u00a0 That\u2019s all there is to it son.\u2019\u00a0 He cleared his throat. \u2018Now\u2026 down to business boys.\u00a0 We have a lot of things to go through before tomorrow.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018We want me to get Hiram back?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No son.\u00a0 This is family business,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018Come over here both of you please.\u2019\u00a0 He motioned to his study where the desk was piled high with papers and sat down in his large leather chair. \u2018Now,\u2019 he said. \u2018I know that you two are more than capable of running this ranch, but I\u2019ve spent the last couple of days putting some things together to make it easier for you to get organised.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam gave his father a stricken look.\u2019 Pa!\u2019 he said. \u2018Don\u2019t do this.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at both of them. \u2018Son, it\u2019s for the best,\u2019 he said. \u2018It has to be said. I want to make sure that I\u2019ve left everything in order for you. This pile here are the\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stood up. \u2018Pa I can\u2019t take this,\u2019 he said. \u2018Please.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben hesitated. \u2018Boys please listen to me. It\u2019s time to face the hard truth here.\u00a0 We all know what tomorrow is going to bring and there\u2019s nothing that will change my mind about that.\u00a0 I have spent many years of my life building up this ranch for you two and,\u2019 he glanced at the staircase, \u2018and your brother. I want to make sure that what I\u2019ve started here is going to continue.\u00a0 Otherwise, my life has been a waste.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam put his hand over that of his father\u2019s, which was lying on the desk. \u2018Never a waste Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Your life could never be classified as a waste by any stretch of the imagination.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben returned his son\u2019s look. \u2018Thank you Adam,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018You can both prove that to me by doing as I am asking you now.\u00a0 Continue things here as I would if I could be here.\u00a0 I have absolute trust in you both and God willing one day I may return to see it all once more.\u00a0 In the meantime I\u2019ll hold the three of you and the Ponderosa in my heart every day.\u2019\u00a0 He brushed the tears away from his eyes and smiled at them both. \u2018I\u2019m counting on you boys to look after things around here.\u00a0 I\u2019m also counting on you to look after your brother.\u00a0 God knows that Joe isn\u2019t out of the woods yet and he\u2019s going to continue to need all your support.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019ll have it Pa,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018Ya know that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes,\u2019 said Ben simply. \u2018I know that.\u2019 He hesitated as he picked up another piece of paper from the pile in front of him. \u2018That brings me to this,\u2019 he said. \u2018My Will has always been kept up to date.\u00a0 I\u2019ve left everything to the three of you of course.\u00a0 You are both to have guardianship of your brother and the responsibility of his share of The Ponderosa until he is of legal age.\u00a0 Also, the papers I had drawn up in Alabama concerning him are here.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u2018Sure Pa,\u2019 he said in a soft voice. \u2018We\u2019ll take care of it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up. \u2018Well I\u2019ll you both to have a look through these,\u2019 he said. \u2018If you\u2019ve got any questions we\u2019ll deal with them this evening after supper.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019m going up to sit with your brother for a while now.\u2019\u00a0 He walked wearily away from them both with his head bowed. Hoss sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve as Adam sat with his head bowed, staring at the pile of papers in front of them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben bent over and kissed his youngest son\u2019s forehead gently. He couldn\u2019t count how many times during the past three days he had sat here like this watching Joe sleep. It seemed that it was all his son did lately and even when he was awake Ben found it well nigh impossible to get anything from him at all.\u00a0 He spent his waking hours staring at the wall ignoring any attempt to rouse him from his stupor. He ate and drank when forced to, but beyond that did nothing to acknowledge any of them. After that initial outburst with his father three days ago, it seemed as if the boy had sunk into a stupor from which he didn\u2019t want to be roused.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben felt a great weariness as he studied his son\u2019s profile.\u00a0 Joe seemed to be dreaming again and muttered a few phrases under his breath that Ben found hard to decipher.\u00a0 Occasionally a word would be distinguishable, but beyond that Ben found any communication with this child of his just beyond him.\u00a0 He picked up the framed picture of his late wife Marie from the dresser next to Joe\u2019s bed and studied it.\u00a0 He smiled as he noticed the same features as those which faced him from the bed.\u00a0 She had been such a beauty!\u00a0 Just like Joe\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben found his thoughts flying back to the words of Barker that last time he had seen him and the bile started to rise in his throat.\u00a0 The things that the man had intimated made him sick to the very core of his being and he closed his eyes as he tried to will them away. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 he said softly. \u2018My baby boy!\u00a0 How could anyone\u2026\u2019\u00a0 The physical gifts that the boy had inherited from his mother had been turned against him by those monsters and tore into Ben\u2019s very soul.\u00a0 \u2018It will never happen again Joseph,\u2019 he crooned to the boy who was tossing his head on the pillow. \u2018I\u2019ll see to it son. It will never be mentioned again or come back to haunt you. I promise you Joe.\u00a0 Your Pa will take care of it all for you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He bent over and kissed the boy again as he heard him mumble softly. \u2018No\u2026 have to\u2026 Pa\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Your Pa will look after you Joe,\u2019 he said again softly. \u2018Sleep now son.\u00a0 Get some rest.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe blinked as the shaft of sunlight shifted slightly and shone directly on his face.\u00a0 He scrunched up his face and yawned as he stretched his aching muscles and sat up, wondering for a moment where he was.\u00a0 Then he remembered. He was in his own bedroom and it was\u2026 He looked around him with a puzzled expression.\u00a0 It seemed to be the middle of the day and he wondered why no one had wakened him for breakfast.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swung his legs off the side of the bed and they hit the ground with a thump.\u00a0 As usual the movement made him aware of the mark on his foot and he frowned.\u00a0 He stood up remembering why he was up here instead of downstairs with everyone else.\u00a0 As he walked towards the open window, Joe wondered why his muscles hurt so much.\u00a0 It felt like he hadn\u2019t used them in days and he tried to work out how long it had been since he had left his bedroom.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He had vague memories of his father sitting with him and stroking his forehead as he tried to sleep. Poor Pa! He had given him so much worry lately.\u00a0 First of all there\u2019d been that horrible trip he\u2019d had to make to Alabama to save him and then he\u2019d had to deal with everything Joe had thrown at him since their return.\u00a0 Why even the other day when\u2026 suddenly it all came flooding back to him as he caught a vision of Barker\u2019s face in front of him and he heard the words he had spoken again.\u00a0 Joe put his hands over his ears as if to block them out again, but they rang around his head in spite of his efforts to block them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n They knew!\u00a0 Pa and Adam and Hoss\u2026 they knew what he had been trying to hide from them all this time.\u00a0 Barker had told them and now they knew what those people had been planning for him.\u00a0 He hung his head and closed his eyes tightly as he tried to come to grips with the knowledge that there was no hiding from it any more. Much and all as he would have liked to wind back the clock and pretend it hadn\u2019t happened, it had.\u00a0 Barker had gone and told his family and he didn\u2019t know if he could face them knowing that they knew.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He took a deep breath and looked at his reflection in the mirror, remembering that day when he and Pa had first arrived back home.\u00a0 He had been so determined to have his hair cut off that day, thinking that it would help to hide that part of him from the world.\u00a0 He fingered his curls that had grown back and thought ruefully what a futile exercise that had been.\u00a0 Nothing could ever hide the fact that he had coloured blood in him\u2026 he just had to learn to live with the fact and be grateful that no one outside his family knew about it. Thank God that no one did!\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t know how he\u2019d cope with the fact if anyone ever found out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He squared his shoulders and drew himself up straight. The sooner he got this over with the better, he thought. He\u2019d have to face Pa and his brothers at some stage, so it might as well be now.\u00a0 Quietly he padded across the floor in his bare feet, thinking ruefully how at one time he would have made sure that he had pulled on socks to hide the mark on his foot.\u00a0 None of that mattered any more.\u00a0 There was nothing that he could hide from his family\u2026they knew it all.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe reached the top of the staircase and looked down into the main living area.\u00a0 The room was empty, apart from his brother Hoss who was pacing up and down in front of the fireplace with his hands in his pockets and staring at his feet as he walked.\u00a0 Joe took another deep breath and began to walk downstairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hi,\u2019 he said as he reached the bottom floor. \u2018Where is everyone?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked up at him surprised. \u2018Joe!\u2019 he said. \u2018What are you doing down here?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tried to appear casual, although he felt his insides churning even as he spoke. \u2018I woke up,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018How come no one woke me for breakfast?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 jaw dropped.\u00a0 His little brother sounded nearly his old self. \u2018Um..\u2019 he said. \u2018You were sleeping so peaceful that we decided to leave ya.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked around and said again. \u2018Where is everyone?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked away from him. \u2018Pa and Adam ain\u2019t here,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Where are they?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss continued to look away from him. \u2018They\u2019ve just gone ta town,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018Why don\u2019t ya go back on up ta bed fer a while?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat down on the sofa. \u2018I\u2019ve had enough of bed,\u2019 he said. \u2018Seems like I\u2019ve been up there for days.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stared at him. \u2018Ya have,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe frowned. \u2018Have I? Oh\u2026\u2019\u00a0 he looked away, embarrassed as he thought about the reason why he had been hiding from his family. \u2018When will Pa be home?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The question seemed to upset Hoss, who began to pace again. Joe stared at him. \u2018Hoss?\u2019 he said. \u2018What\u2019s the matter?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Nuthin.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018When will Pa be home?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018I dunno little buddy.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe began to pick up on his brother\u2019s panic. \u2018Why don\u2019t you know?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Where is he Hoss?\u00a0 Where are Pa and Adam?\u00a0 I want to know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss sat down next to his brother on the sofa. \u2018Pa asked me ta stay and look after you,\u2019 he said. \u2018He and Adam had ta go into town fer\u2026 to do some things.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about it Joe.\u00a0 Adam and I\u2019ll explain it all to ya later.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why won\u2019t Pa explain it to me?\u2019 asked Joe, really worried now. \u2018What\u2019s going on Hoss?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe, Pa said I wasn\u2019t ta talk ta you about it until tonight, he said. Best to wait fer Adam to come home and then we\u2019ll talk about it OK?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Isn\u2019t Pa coming home?\u2019 asked Joe, beginning to panic now. \u2018Why isn\u2019t Pa coming home?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Buddy I don\u2019t think\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Tell me Hoss!\u00a0 Tell me now or I\u2019m getting dressed and going into town to find out myself where he is!\u2019 Joe glared at his brother. \u2018I mean it Hoss!\u00a0 Either you tell me or I\u2019m gonna find out for myself.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018Joe I can\u2019t,\u2019 he said. \u2018Pa made me promise.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe bounced up for the sofa. \u2018I\u2019m going to find my Pa!\u2019 he shouted and ran towards the staircase.\u00a0 Hoss caught him in an instant. \u2018Let me go!\u2019 shouted Joe, trying to free himself from his brother\u2019s grip. \u2018I mean it Hoss!\u00a0 Let me go!\u2019\u00a0 He flung his feet out wildly and gave his brother a sharp kick in the ankle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ow!\u2019 yelled Hoss. \u2018Quit it will ya Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Then tell me where Pa is!\u2019 shouted Joe again. \u2018Tell me Hoss!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss threw his little brother down on the sofa and sat down next to him. \u2018Now just you settle down,\u2019 he said firmly as he pointed a finger at him. \u2018Seems ta me it can\u2019t do no harm now telling ya anyways.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be all over soon.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes widened. \u2018What will be all over,\u2019 he said. \u2018Is it something to do with Barker?\u00a0 Has he come back already?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned at him. \u2018Barker\u2019s dead Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ya remember?\u00a0 Pa told ya he was shot.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Shot?\u2019 said Joe faintly.\u00a0 \u2018Barker is dead?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u2018Don\u2019t ya remember Joe?\u00a0 Pa told ya himself.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe scrunched up his face. \u2018Oh yes..\u2019 he said faintly as his father\u2019s words came back to him. He looked at Hoss suddenly. \u2018What\u2019s that got to do with Pa?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Why\u2019s Pa in town if Barker is dead?\u00a0 He can\u2019t hurt me any more iffen he\u2019s dead.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No little buddy he can\u2019t hurt ya no more,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018Nothing can hurt ya any more.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s gonna see ta that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe frowned again. \u2018How?\u00a0 What do you mean Hoss?\u00a0 What\u2019s Pa doing?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hesitated, knowing that his brother had to know sooner or later, but unsure how he was going to take the news. \u2018Well\u2026.\u2019 He said slowly. \u2018Pa\u2019s been in jail Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018In jail?\u00a0 Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Fer shooting Barker.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss watched his little brother\u2019s face intently as he said the words.\u00a0 He was prepared for his brother to break out in hysterics again, but what Joe said next surprised him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa didn\u2019t shoot Barker!\u2019 declared Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 eyebrows lifted. \u2018What makes ya say that Joe?\u2019 he asked tentatively.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa couldn\u2019t have shot him.\u00a0 Pa could never kill anyone Hoss.\u00a0 You know that!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss let his breath out on a rush.\u00a0 Joe had probably blocked the memory of what he\u2019d done, which Hoss supposed was just as well considering everything. He put his arm around his brother\u2019s shoulders. \u2018He said he did Joe,\u2019 he said gently. \u2018There\u2019s a trial.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe jumped up. \u2018A trial?\u2019 he shouted. \u2018Pa\u2019s on trial for shooting Barker? No!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss pulled him down again. \u2018It\u2019s OK Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018Pa knows what he\u2019s doing.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n No!\u2019 Joe shouted again. \u2018I gotta go to him!\u2019\u00a0 He tried to get off the sofa again, but Hoss held him down. \u2018Please Hoss,\u2019 he begged. \u2018Let me go!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No!\u2019 said Hoss firmly. \u2018Pa said I was ta keep ya here and that\u2019s what I\u2019m gonna do.\u00a0 Now sit still.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stopped struggling and stared at his brother. \u2018Pa didn\u2019t kill Barker,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018I\u2019m glad he\u2019s dead though. I wish I\u2019d killed him!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss jerked. \u2018What?\u2019 he said. \u2018But we thought\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You thought what?\u2019 asked Joe. \u2018You thought I killed him?\u2019\u00a0 He gave a snort. \u2018I wish!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 jaw dropped open. \u2018Ya didn\u2019t kill him Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u00a0 Of course I didn\u2019t kill him!\u2019 declared Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss put his head in his hands. \u2018But Pa thought ya did. \u2018Ya told him ya didn\u2019t want anyone ta know that you\u2019d killed him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018I meant that I didn\u2019t want anyone to know about\u2026. you know. That I was a \u2026 a\u2026.slave.\u2019\u00a0 It was the first time he\u2019d actually said the word and he wondered why he had the courage to say it now.\u00a0 He looked at his brother, puzzled. \u2018Hoss?\u2019 he said as an idea formed in his head. \u2018Hoss?\u00a0 Is Pa saying he killed Barker to protect me?\u2019 Hoss looked up at his brother silently. \u2018But he don\u2019t need to! I didn\u2019t kill him Hoss, I swear it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Then where were you that day when you ran off from us?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I dunno.\u00a0 Just riding around. I had to get away after he said\u2026you know. But I didn\u2019t go near Barker again Hoss. I swear I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Someone mighta killed him, but it wasn\u2019t me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Oh God!\u2019 said Hoss, burying his head in his hands again. His head was spinning and he wished that Adam were here to make sense of it all.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hoss!\u2019 said Joe urgently. \u2018We\u2019ve gotta get inta town!\u00a0 Pa don\u2019t haveta do this Hoss!\u00a0 He don\u2019t haveta say he did it for me!\u00a0 I gotta tell them in that court that I didn\u2019t do it either and then he can tell the truth!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss clutched at his brother\u2019s arm. \u2018Joe you can\u2019t!\u2019 he said. \u2018Don\u2019t ya understand boy?\u00a0 If you go in there and start ta testify, then they\u2019ll start asking questions.\u00a0 They\u2019ll ask all about Barker and everything will come out.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ya understand that?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe went white as he realised that his brother was right. \u2018What?\u2019 he said faintly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s true Joe,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018That\u2019s what Pa was trying to stop happening. You\u2019ve always begged fer no one ta know about what\u2026about your background and such.\u00a0 You\u2019d have ta risk it all coming out.\u00a0 Pa won\u2019t let ya do it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes and heard the pounding of blood in his head that threatened to blot out his brother\u2019s words. He felt himself go cold with the thoughts that had been haunting him for the past few weeks.\u00a0 He knew that he couldn\u2019t face the thought of people looking at him and knowing what he really was. \u2018Hoss?\u2019 he said faintly. \u2018What\u2019s gonna happen to Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 face went pale. \u2018I reckon he\u2019s going ta prison Joe,\u2019 he whispered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood up shakily. \u2018I gotta go upstairs and get dressed now,\u2019 he said. \u2018I need to get to town quickly.\u2019\u00a0 He started to walk towards the stairs, but had to grab hold of the back of a chair to steady himself. Hoss stood up to support him. \u2018Go back ta bed Joe,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave his brother a pained look and brushed him aside. \u2018No,\u2019 he said faintly. \u2018I gotta get dressed and get into town.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Didn\u2019t ya hear what I said Joe,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018Don\u2019t ya realise what you\u2019ll haveta say if ya go in there? Ya can\u2019t tell everyone Joe.\u00a0 Ya\u2019ve said it yaself.\u00a0 Ya can\u2019t tell everyone!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled at his brother. \u2018I can\u2019t not tell them now can I?\u2019 he said quietly with tears in his eyes. \u2018We\u2019re talking about Pa Hoss.\u00a0 I can\u2019t not tell them.\u2019\u00a0 He walked slowly up the stairs, supporting himself on the banister as he did so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Judge Wilcox frowned as he banged his gavel on the table in front of him. \u2018Silence!\u2019 he ordered. He turned to the prosecutor. \u2018Please proceed Mr Matthews.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Robert Matthews\u00a0 turned to Ben once again. \u2018Please tell the court in your own words why you paid Mr Barker the $30 000 dollars.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It was a business transaction,\u2019 said Ben as he looked around the room.\u00a0 It seemed to him that more than half the town had turned out to hear what he had to say and the courtroom was filled to capacity. \u2018A straightforward business deal.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Would you care to elaborate on what it was concerning?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was a murmur around the courtroom and the judge banged his gavel again. \u2018Silence!\u2019 he repeated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Could you tell us why you don\u2019t wish to elaborate Mr Cartwright?\u2019 asked Matthews with a slight wink at the jury. \u2018Perhaps there was something shady about the deal that you don\u2019t want us to know about?\u2019 Ben said nothing, but stared straight ahead of him. \u2018Mr Cartwright if you don\u2019t enlighten us, then I\u2019m afraid the jury will have to draw its own conclusions about the legality of the transaction.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Objection!\u2019 shouted Hiram Wood. \u2018Mr Cartwright\u2019s character is not on trial here.\u00a0 His business ethics are not the issue!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Judge Wilcox raised an eyebrow. \u2018Everything that pertains to Mr Cartwright\u2019s relationship with Mr Barker is of importance here,\u2019 he said shortly. \u2018Sit down.\u2019\u00a0 Hiram Wood sat down with a sigh.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Robert Matthews gave the jury a smile. \u2018Well its obvious that Mr Cartwright had business with Mr Barker that he doesn\u2019t want us to know about,\u2019 he said dryly. Let\u2019s move on shall we?\u2019\u00a0 He turned to Ben again. \u2018Now,\u2019 he continued. \u2018Can you please tell us\u2026\u2019\u00a0 He turned sharply as a noise at the back of the courthouse reached his ears.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up to see Hoss pushing his way through the crowd, his arms flying in all directions.\u00a0 \u2018Let me through,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ve got business with the judge!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood up. \u2018Hoss!\u2019 he shouted. \u2018What are you doing here?\u2019\u00a0 He swallowed in fright as he saw Joe standing meekly behind his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s all right Pa,\u2019 said Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Silence!\u2019 ordered the Judge. Everyone sit down immediately! What is the meaning of this?\u2019\u00a0 Everyone was talking at once and he had to bang his gavel a few times to get silence. \u2018That\u2019s better,\u2019 he said and then turned to Hoss. \u2018What is this all about?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stepped forward. \u2018My brother wants ta testify,\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s got some things ta say.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben leapt to his feet again. \u2018No!\u2019 he said. \u2018Joseph I forbid it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stepped forward and faced his father. \u2018Pa I have to,\u2019 he said. \u2018I have to tell it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re saying son,\u2019 he said. \u2018You know you can\u2019t do this.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe ignored his father and turned to the Judge. \u2018My name is Joseph Cartwright and I\u2019ve got things to say,\u2019 he said. \u2018My father didn\u2019t shoot Barker.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph!\u2019 Ben\u2019s voice exploded behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Judge Wilcox looked at the young man standing in front of him and noticed how pale he was.\u00a0 He looked as if he were about to collapse.\u00a0 The judge leant forward. \u2018Do you know who did shoot Barker?\u2019 he asked quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No sir,\u2019 he said just as quietly. \u2018But I know that my Pa didn\u2019t.\u00a0 I know why he paid him that money and I need to tell it to stop him pleading guilty.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Judge Wilcox sat up straight again. \u2018The boy will take the stand,\u2019 he said in a loud voice. \u2018Please get down Mr Cartwright.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said in a strangled voice. \u2018Joseph I won\u2019t let you do this.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at his father sadly, his voice shaking with fright. \u2018You don\u2019t have a choice Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m gonna do it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stepped forward and pulled his father towards him. \u2018Pa sit down,\u2019 he said. \u2018Joe knows what he\u2019s doing.\u2019\u00a0 Ben gave his youngest son one final look before allowing himself to be pulled away from the stand.\u00a0 Joe sat down and took his father\u2019s place, closing his eyes for a moment as he felt everyone\u2019s eyes upon him.\u00a0 He felt totally exposed up there facing everyone and the thought brought back memories of that day that he had fought so hard to forget.\u00a0 The last time he had faced a crowd this large had been on the day of the auction and try as he would to block the thoughts from his mind, they came flooding back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Suddenly he was pushed from behind towards the steps leading up to the platform near him.\u00a0 He stood still, refusing to move until the guards grabbed him by the arms and hoisted him up bodily. Standing alone on the platform made him feel totally exposed and he turned to move away from the peering faces that stared back at him, but the auctioneer motioned to the guards and they moved over to him and held him still.\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes, refusing to look at the sea of faces before him, and tried to block out the words that were being said.\u00a0 Suddenly he felt his shirt ripped from his shoulders and down to his waist, exposing his upper torso. He closed his eyes even tighter and swayed on his feet, but was held upright in a tight grip by the two men on either side of him. How much longer? Make this finish! Please God make this finish!<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The noises around him became louder and louder until it seemed to Joe that his head would burst. He tried to bring his thoughts inward and block out the external noises around him, but try as he might words and phrases kept invading his senses. \u2018Come on gentlemen \u2026.. $1000 \u2026. not often do you see quality like this \u2026\u2026..$3000 thank you sir \u2026.. looks like this are hard to come by \u2026.. $5000 to the gentleman in the corner \u2026..a bargain at any price\u2026\u2026such light skin, just take a look \u2026.. $7000, thank you sir \u2026\u2026come now gentlemen you can do better than that surely \u2026\u2026\u2019 Joe listened as the price went higher and with each bid a bit more of his dignity was snatched from him.\u00a0 He willed himself to concentrate on his breathing. God make it finish! Please make it finish. Pa! Please help me Pa!<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph?\u2019 asked Judge Wilcox. \u2018We\u2019re waiting.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe opened his eyes again and felt his heart beating wildly.\u00a0 He looked around the room and his eyes found those of his father\u2019s staring back at him.\u00a0 He took a deep breath. \u2018My Pa didn\u2019t shoot Mr Barker,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Judge Wilcox leant forward. \u2018What can you tell us about that day Joseph?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took another breath and spoke quickly to get the words out. \u2018My Pa had paid Mr Barker $30 000 to keep him quiet,\u2019 he said. \u2018He was blackmailing my Pa to keep quiet about me.\u00a0 Pa told him to take the money and get out of town and he left on the stagecoach. Pa and my brothers went searching for me cause I\u2019d run off, and he didn\u2019t go after Barker at all.\u00a0 He spent the whole day looking for me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Judge Wilcox frowned. \u2018What was Barker blackmailing your father about?\u2019 he said. \u2018What was it about you that he was going to tell?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took another deep breath and tried to control his trembling voice.\u00a0 He felt everyone\u2019s eyes upon him and the room was so still that you could have heard a pin drop. \u2018He was gonna tell everyone what happened to me when I went to New Orleans a few weeks ago,\u2019 he said in a voice barely above a whisper. \u2018There was a man there that Barker worked for.\u00a0 He \u2026.He\u2026\u2019 Joe stopped and licked his lips. \u2018He bought me,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Judge looked puzzled. \u2018I don\u2019t understand,\u2019 he said. \u2018He bought you?\u00a0 What do you mean?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He bought me,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018They said that my mother\u2026 that she was part-coloured.\u00a0 It made me part-coloured too and \u2026 the man\u2026 he bought me.\u2019\u00a0 There was a deep silence in the courtroom and no one moved.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s soft trembling voice carried to the far corners of the room with ease. \u2018Barker said that he\u2019d tell everyone about me being\u2026. coloured and so my Pa paid him money to keep him quiet.\u2019\u00a0 He closed his eyes for a moment.\u00a0 It was done!\u00a0 He\u2019d said it and it was done!<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Judge looked at the young boy intently. \u2018I see,\u2019 he said. \u2018Well that explains why your father paid Mr Barker the money Joseph, but it doesn\u2019t really help.\u00a0 Your father has stated that he killed Mr Barker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned his tear-filled eyes to the Judge. \u2018But he\u2019s lying!\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s only saying that because he thinks I done it!\u2019\u00a0 He turned to his father. \u2018You can tell em now Pa!\u00a0 You can tell em that you didn\u2019t do it!\u00a0 You don\u2019t need to protect me no more.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do it either, don\u2019t you see?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stared at his son, his thoughts awhirl.\u00a0 At that moment the back door banged open and Sheriff Coffee ran into the room. \u2018Judge!\u2019 he said. \u2018I have news to add to this case.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Judge threw his hand up in despair. \u2018Well you\u2019d better come forward then Sheriff,\u2019 he said sarcastically. \u2018It seems that everyone else is determined to run this trial, so I don\u2019t see why you shouldn\u2019t have your say as well.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy Coffee approached the Judge, patting Ben on the shoulder as he passed him. \u2018I just received a wire from Carson City,\u2019 he said. \u2018The sheriff has taken into custody a drifter who has admitted to the murder of Barker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n There were murmurs around the room and the Judge banged his gavel again. \u2018What?\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ve never dealt with a case where two men admit to killing the same man!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Appears they caught this guy with the money he took from Barker,\u2019 continued the Sheriff. \u2018He saw Barker flashing it around and thought he\u2019d take his chance. Things just got out of control and he ended up killing him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What about the gun?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He stole it a few weeks ago from one of The Ponderosa hands,\u2019 said Roy. \u2018He\u2019s admitted to the whole thing.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Judge wiped his hand over his eyes wearily. \u2018Mr Cartwright please stand up,\u2019 he said. Ben stood and faced the Judge. \u2018Do you wish to change your plea?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded as he smiled at Joe. \u2018I do Your Honour,\u2019 he said. \u2018I plead Not Guilty.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Judge banged his gavel again. \u2018Case dismissed,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hiram stood and patted Ben on the back. \u2018Congratulations,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Thank you,\u2019 said Ben, shaking the man by the hand. \u2018I\u2019m sorry I wasn\u2019t much help to you Hiram.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well I understand now why you weren\u2019t,\u2019 replied the Attorney. He looked at Joe who was still seated on the stand with his eyes on the floor. \u2018Young man, in all my years of practising Law that was the gutsiest performance I\u2019ve ever witnessed.\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked up at the Attorney with tears in his eyes. Hiram turned to Ben and said in a loud voice. \u2018That\u2019s one fine son you have there Ben, but I\u2019m sure you know that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at him. \u2018I sure do,\u2019 he said as he stepped forward and pulled Joe to his feet. \u2018He\u2019s a son I\u2019m very proud of.\u2019\u00a0 He hugged Joe to him and felt the boy dissolve into him as he felt himself engulfed by his father\u2019s strong arms. He stroked his son\u2019s head gently, not caring who was watching them. \u2018I\u2019m so proud of you for doing what you did Joseph,\u2019 he whispered into the boy\u2019s ear. \u2018So proud.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe drew back from his father and smiled at him. \u2018I had to do it Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018I couldn\u2019t let you go to prison.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ironic, isn\u2019t it?\u2019 said Adam beside them. \u2018Only a few more minutes and Joe wouldn\u2019t have had to say anything.\u00a0 Roy would have come in anyway and everything could have remained a secret.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head as he continued to look at Joe. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018It had to be told.\u00a0 It was meant to be told, wasn\u2019t it Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled at his father through his tears. \u2018I guess so,\u2019 he said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018We should get outta here, don\u2019t ya think?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded and felt Joe stiffen beside him. \u2018Just stick close to me Joe,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018I told you before that nothing will hurt you anymore.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked around him fearfully. \u2018But all them people Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018They all know now.\u2019\u00a0 He bit his lip.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben held his son tightly at his side as he turned him to face the back door.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss stood on either side of them as they inched their way through the people towards the exit. As the four Cartwrights made their way slowly forward the crowd parted around them and one after another each person stood in silence.\u00a0 One at a time each man that they passed put on his hat and tipped it in Joe\u2019s direction and every women nodded to him and smiled.\u00a0 By the time they had reached the back door, Ben could hardly see for the tears that were running down his cheeks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at the sight of his son sitting in the grass and wriggling his bare toes and walked over to stand beside him. Joe looked up and smiled at him. \u2018Hi Pa.\u2019 he said. \u2018How\u2019d ya know I\u2019d be here?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat down next to him. \u2018I just thought you might be,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 He looked out over the lake and took a deep breath to smell the aroma of the pines above them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe drew up his knees and hugged them tightly as he lowered his chin onto them. \u2018You know, I haven\u2019t been here since we came home,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know,\u2019 replied his father \u2018I\u2019ve been waiting for you to come.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You have?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I guess I couldn\u2019t before,\u2019 said Joe as he looked at the stone marker beside him. \u2018I\u2026 didn\u2019t want to.\u2019\u00a0 He glanced back at his father sadly. \u2018I\u2019ve never felt like that before Pa.\u2019 Ben waited. \u2018I think\u2026 I think I didn\u2019t want to talk to my mother about it all,\u2019 continued Joe. \u2018I didn\u2019t want her to know what happened.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018She knows Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah\u2026 Pa I gotta say something to you that you mightn\u2019t like.\u2019\u00a0 Ben was still as he listened to his son find the words. \u2018I felt like\u2026 I felt like it was her fault in a way.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to feel that way, but still I did and it made me kinda ashamed to face her cause\u2026 well none of it was her fault was it?\u2019 Ben shook his head as he looked at his son. \u2018She couldn\u2019t help what happened,\u2019 continued Joe. \u2018I\u2019m not ashamed of her Pa, really I\u2019m not!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe wriggled his toes again and bent down to turn over his foot.\u00a0 He fingered the mark on his heel. \u2018Ya know it\u2019s just a mark ain\u2019t it Pa?\u2019 he said. \u2018It don\u2019t mean nothing if I don\u2019t want it to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ben put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulder. \u2018That\u2019s right Joseph, it\u2019s just a mark. Nothing more.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe bit his lip. \u2018But\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But what?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He took a deep breath and let it go with a sigh. \u2018I feel better now that I\u2019ve told about it in a way, but\u2026 well with everyone knowing now\u2026\u2019 his eyes filled with tears again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Son listen to me.\u00a0 You saw the people in the courtroom and the way they reacted to you after you testified. They were showing you a mark of respect Joseph. You\u2019ve got nothing to be afraid of, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018Yeah I saw em,\u2019 he said. \u2018But they weren\u2019t the whole town were they?\u00a0 They were only some people.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Some people who will tell others,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018You know the way word gets around town.\u00a0 Everyone will know exactly what happened by now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That\u2019s just what I mean,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018Everyone will know by now that I\u2019m part-coloured and that I was a slave.\u2019\u00a0 Ben smiled to hear his son say the words so easily that he couldn\u2019t have uttered even a few days ago. \u2018They\u2019re not all gonna think good things about me cause of it!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Joe this town is made up of all sorts of people as you know.\u00a0 Of course some of them will say things about you, but I believe that there enough people who will defend you against that kind of ignorance if only you\u2019ll let them. Sure you\u2019ll have a hard time ahead of you, especially for a while, but remember that you\u2019ll have a lot of people on your side. Your brothers and I for a start.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled at his father. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. \u2018Strange though ain\u2019t it Pa?\u00a0 How I never wanted anyone to know and then I go and be the one to tell em all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You did that for me,\u2019 said Ben, hugging his son\u2019s shoulder even tighter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked surprised. \u2018Of course,\u2019 he said. \u2018Why wouldn\u2019t I? Pa you\u2019re more important to me than anything in this whole world!\u00a0 If I had a choice between losing you and having everyone turn against me, well\u2026.\u2019 He searched for the words to express his feelings. \u2018Well there just ain\u2019t no choice!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know that?\u2019 His emotions took over and his voice began to shake. \u2018Sides, after what you did for me\u2026 I mean down in Alabama and all.\u00a0 Plus being ready to go to jail for me\u2026\u2019\u00a0 He looked at the ground as the tears began to overtake him. \u2018You did that to save me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Son I told you I would never let anything hurt you like that again.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t just words Joe\u2026I meant it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hung his head and began to sob quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s all right Joseph,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No Pa, it ain\u2019t all right. Sometimes I know I can be a real pain\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u2018Just sometimes?\u2019 he asked teasingly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave a short chuckle through his tears. \u2018Well most of the time I reckon,\u2019 he acknowledged with a half-smile. \u2018But I don\u2019t mean to be.\u00a0 I think\u2026well I think you\u2019re just the best Pa a feller could ever have and I want to tell you that.\u2019\u00a0 He looked up and gave his father a wider smile. \u2018I really love you Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben patted his boy\u2019s head and gave him a soft smile. \u2018I know you do Joseph and I love you too son.\u00a0 More than I could ever say.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Its hard to find the words to say what\u2019s inside ain\u2019t it?\u2019 said Joe softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Yes son,\u2019 he said. \u2018But sometimes we don\u2019t have to say them.\u00a0 We just know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n XXXXXXX<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So,\u2019 said Hoss straightening up and stretching his back. \u2018 Now that that\u2019s all the loading is finished what\u2019s say we go for a beer?\u2019 He looked at his father hopefully. \u2018Sure is a hot one today don\u2019t ya reckon Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sure is,\u2019 agreed Adam as he wiped the sweat off his forehead and replaced his hat. \u2018We\u2019ve loaded those supplies in record time.\u00a0 Seems to me that we\u2019re ahead of schedule.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave a short laugh. \u2018Well I can\u2019t say that you two are very subtle about it,\u2019 he said. \u2018What do you think Joe?\u00a0 How does a drink sound to you? Unless you\u2019d rather go down the street and have that haircut you need instead.\u2019 He looked at his son\u2019s hair and marvelled at how long it looked already in such a short time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe returned his father\u2019s look. \u2018Aw Pa!\u2019 he said. \u2018You know I like it long!\u00a0 I don\u2019t need a haircut yet! But as for a drink\u2026well if you insist on buying\u2026I won\u2019t say no.\u00a0 He grinned at his brothers and winked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben pretended to frown. \u2018Now who said I was buying?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam gave him an innocent look. \u2018You did!\u2019 he said. \u2018Just now\u2026didn\u2019t you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben laughed again and flung his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Come on then,\u2019 he said over his own shoulder as he walked away. \u2018Never let it be said that Ben Cartwright was stingy with his money.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss winked at each other as they followed each other down the street. As they neared the Saloon Ben felt Joe stiffen slightly and he tightened his grip on his son. \u2018It\u2019ll be fine Joe,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018One step at a time remember?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave his father a slight nod and tried to smile at him, but Ben noticed that the smile stayed on his son\u2019s lips and didn\u2019t reach his eyes.\u00a0 It had been like this for the past few days. Joe had faced one hurdle after another each day…mostly with dealing with the hands on the ranch\u2026but today was the first time he\u2019d had to do it in town and it was quite an ordeal for the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n No one at any time had given him the slightest indication that they were treating him any different to normal, whether by word or action, but Ben knew how tense Joe was about each new person that he came into contact with.\u00a0 At some stage they all knew that there would be a remark or an action to indicate what was in everyone\u2019s minds and Ben was dreading it.\u00a0 He knew that Joe was too.\u00a0 Each place they went and each person they met was another test for his son and one that so far he had passed beautifully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n As they entered the Silver Dollar Saloon Ben saw immediately that it was crowded.\u00a0 They made their way straight to the bar, Ben\u2019s arm still around Joe\u2019s shoulder holding him tight. \u2018Four beers thanks,\u2019 he said, plonking down the money on the counter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Since when did ya start serving coloureds in here?\u2019 came a drawling voice from behind and Ben turned to see Ed Leonard standing behind them.\u00a0 Everyone in the Saloon stopped and stared in their direction at the man\u2019s words. Joe swallowed and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Before Ben could react in any way, Sam the bartender answered first. \u2018Since about the same time we started serving white trash like you!\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018Here you go Mr Cartwright.\u2019\u00a0 He put the fours beers on the bar. \u2018Boys,\u2019 he said with a nod of his head and a smile at Adam, Hoss and Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ed sneered as he persisted. \u2018Well I ain\u2019t gonna drink with no coloureds,\u2019 he drawled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well then you\u2019d better get out of here,\u2019 declared John Deakin and grabbed hold of the man\u2019s arm as he pulled him to the door and threw him into the street. He turned and smiled at the Cartwrights. \u2018How are you today Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at the man surprised. \u2018Fine thank Mr Deakin,\u2019 he said with a dazed expression on his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018There\u2019s a table over in the corner Ben,\u2019 said Paul Martin as he passed. He patted Joe on the arm. \u2018Nice to see you Joe,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben led his three sons over to the table in the corner, pleased to feel that Joe\u2019s body had relaxed and didn\u2019t feel nearly as tense. As they seated themselves he smiled around and held up his beer. \u2018Well here\u2019s to us!\u2019 he said as they all lifted their glasses to meet his. Ben took a long swallow of beer and as he replaced his glass on the table he was surprised to see a sheepish expression on Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 He glanced across to where his son was looking and suppressed a smile at the sight of one of the young barmaids giving his son a wink.\u00a0 Normally he frowned on that sort of behaviour, but today it meant a lot to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He saw that it meant a lot to Joseph too, and the boy blushed as he met his father\u2019s eye. He looked down and studied his beer for a moment, then looked up again and tried not to laugh. With a slight shrug of his shoulders, he tried to look casual.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Looks like that gal over there kinda likes ya Joe,\u2019 said Hoss with a nudge to his brother\u2019s ribcage.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave him a threatening look. \u2018Shut up!\u2019 he whispered and went an even darker shade of red.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What was that Hoss?\u2019 asked Adam in a loud voice. \u2018Did you say something about our little brother and a girl?\u2019 Joe gave his oldest brother a pleading look which Adam ignored. \u2018Seems to me that she does look rather keen on you,\u2019 Adam grinned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned to his father. \u2018Pa!\u2019 he said pleadingly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u2018All right boys,\u2019 he said. \u2018Leave your brother alone. You\u2019re embarrassing him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss grinned. \u2018Oh we ain\u2019t begun yet,\u2019 he said with a wink at Adam. \u2018Have we older brother?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam returned the look and put an arm around Joe as he leaned closely to him. \u2018Certainly not!\u2019 he said. \u2018Now let\u2019s see what else we can think of to embarrass our little brother.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben leant back in his chair and laughed at the pained expression on Joe\u2019s face as he tried to ward off both his brothers.\u00a0 A few days ago none of them would have even dreamed about treating the boy in this way, and now it was as it had been before they had taken that fateful trip. He knew that there still some difficult times ahead for his son, but judging by the reaction of people today they would be fewer than he could ever have hoped for.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph I think you\u2019d better give up,\u2019 he said with a chuckle. \u2018Your brothers aren\u2019t about to let up on you now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at his father and grinned. \u2018Don\u2019t worry Pa,\u2019 he said as he swatted Hoss\u2019 hand away. \u2018I can handle them!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m sure you can son,\u2019 replied his father as he leant back in his chair again and watched his three boys again. He smiled as he pushed back his hat.\u00a0 After what you\u2019ve been through in these past few weeks Joseph I\u2019m sure you can handle anything!<\/em><\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nWhen Two Worlds Collide<\/a><\/p>\n
\n