Summary:\u00a0 Each year at Christmas a beautiful lady graces the Cartwright’s Ponderosa ranch house. From her post high atop their tree the little angel with cornflower yellow hair watches them. A smile lights her face for she knows that, without her, Ben Cartwright’s life would have been very different…<\/p>\n
Word count: 7489<\/p>\n
Rated: G<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Lady with Yellow Hair<\/strong><\/p>\n *****************<\/p>\n PROLOGUE –\u00a0December 24th<\/sup>, 1863<\/p>\n ******************<\/p>\n It was Christmas eve and Ben Cartwright couldn\u2019t sleep.<\/p>\n He\u2019d lain awake tossing and turning for the last hour or so and had finally come to the conclusion that, if he didn\u2019t do something about it and soon, he was going to lay there the whole night.\u00a0 So, after putting on his burgundy robe and sliding his bare feet into his slippers, the rancher left his room behind and headed for the stairs, intending to make his way to the kitchen for a warm glass of milk \u2013 and maybe a few of those chocolate fudge cookies Hop Sing had baked for the holiday.\u00a0 Ben chuckled to himself as his feet hit the great room floor.<\/p>\n With three boys in the house, it would probably be his only chance to get one!<\/p>\n As Ben stood there thinking about his sons and how much he loved them, and imagined their faces as they opened the presents he had hand-selected for each one of them, an unexpected beam of moonlight penetrated the window in the dining room.\u00a0 It struck the polished surface of the table and then moved on, briefly touching Marie\u2019s striped settee before settling on the round table that held his decanter and four brandy snifters.\u00a0 Hop Sing must have removed the chess set and placed it there before he went to bed, knowing he would want it for tomorrow\u2019s celebration.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben smiled as he noted the decanter had been filled to the brim.\u00a0 His old friend knew he liked nothing better than a fine aged brandy.\u00a0 Always had.<\/p>\n The older man\u2019s smile faded with the light.<\/p>\n Once upon a time he had liked it too much.<\/p>\n Pointing his feet toward the decanter rather than the kitchen, Ben crossed over to the table.\u00a0 When he arrived, he placed his hand on the stopper and stared at the amber liquid.\u00a0 He was remembering \u2013 remembering a time when he had almost lost himself and, truth be told, nearly lost his youngest son as well.\u00a0 Not that Joseph\u2019s life had been in danger.\u00a0 At least, not in the usual way.\u00a0 But the threat was there and he hadn\u2019t even noticed.<\/p>\n He\u2019d been too busy wallowing in self-pity and cursing the world.<\/p>\n Ben sniffed as he teared up and then continued on to his desk.\u00a0 Hanging one hip on its edge, he reached for his late wife\u2019s portrait \u2013 his third wife \u2013 and gazed at her beautiful face.\u00a0 Marie was forever young, frozen in time before the snow lay upon the rose.\u00a0 The rancher reached out to touch her face and then turned his attention to the ten-foot gaily decorated fir tree that dominated the great room.\u00a0 He smiled at the myriad decorations, most of them handmade by his sons, and then lifted his eyes to its pinnacle.\u00a0 The yellow-haired angel, Anne, was there, watching over them as she had for a little more than fifteen years.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam was thirty-two.\u00a0 Hoss, twenty-six.\u00a0 And Joseph \u2013 dear Joseph \u2013 had just turned twenty.\u00a0 \u00a0Ben glanced at Marie again, thinking\u00a0 how proud she would have been to see what a fine young man her son had grown to be, and then he returned her portrait to the desk.\u00a0 Sticking his hands in his pockets, the rancher rose and \u00a0walked over to the tree and looked up.\u00a0 Anne smiled down on him.\u00a0 It was the family tradition that Joseph was the one who would put her in place.\u00a0 The antics over the years that had occasioned were legendary.\u00a0\u00a0 Still, there was a reason \u2013 a very important<\/em> reason that his youngest was so honored.<\/p>\n Without Anne \u2013 without his mother\u2019s angel \u2013 Marie\u2019s beloved Joseph might have grown into a very different <\/em>kind of man.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n ONE –\u00a0Spring 1847<\/p>\n *****************<\/p>\n Ben Cartwright stood outside of his youngest\u2019s room, listening.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s mother had put him to sleep sometime before, but as he passed his son\u2019s bedroom on the way to the kitchen, he heard Little Joe laughing.\u00a0 The sound had puzzled him and so he had stopped, sure that at least one of Joseph\u2019s older brothers\u2019 had sneaked into his room and he would hear their voices as well, but there was nothing.<\/p>\n Nothing but that laugh.<\/p>\n The four-year-old had just moved to his own room a month or so before.\u00a0\u00a0 On his birthday Joseph had announced that he was \u2018all growed up\u2019 and wasn\u2019t a baby anymore.\u00a0 Much to his mother\u2019s dismay, he had begun to resist her hug and kisses, stating flatly that \u2018Hoss and Adam don\u2019t get no kisses \u2018fore they goes to bed.\u2019<\/p>\n A word in his elder brothers\u2019 ears had quickly dispelled that notion and set everything right in the Cartwright household again.<\/p>\n Still, to honor the little boy\u2019s desire to be \u2018all growed up\u2019, he had talked Marie into allowing the boy to have his own room.\u00a0\u00a0 His wife had been terrified at first.\u00a0 Joseph was known to wander now and then during the night.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t quite sure the boy was actually sleep-waking, though that was what Paul Martin labeled it.\u00a0 Nevertheless, they had made it a habit to lock the boy\u2019s door once they put him to bed.<\/p>\n Ben glanced at the key hanging off the lamp next to his son\u2019s bedroom door.\u00a0 They kept it handy in case of an emergency.\u00a0 As another peal of laughter indicated the little boy was still awake, he decided to use it.<\/p>\n With a quiet click<\/em> and a shove, the heavy wooden door opened.\u00a0 It was quite dark inside as the room was lit only by the pale sliver of a moon that shone through the boy\u2019s window and a few companion stars.\u00a0 One winked at him as he stepped into the room, glowing brightly for just a moment before disappearing.<\/p>\n Several heartbeats later a small voice asked, \u201cIs I in trouble, Papa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben hid his smile.\u00a0 \u201cShould you be, young man?\u201d<\/p>\n His son stirred on the bed and sat up.\u00a0 Joseph was anchored in the middle of the usual tempest of linens, indicating he had<\/em> been asleep at some point.\u00a0 As he watched his son\u2019s curly head appeared, framed by the window in the opposite wall.<\/p>\n The sight of those glorious curls always brought a smile.<\/p>\n There was a moment of silence before he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019s sorry, Papa.\u00a0 I know\u2019d I shouldn\u2019t have been playin\u2019, but she asked and I had to.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s dark brows popped.\u00a0 \u201cShe?\u201d<\/p>\n The curly head bobbed.\u00a0 \u201cYou told me it ain\u2019t polite to refuse a lady.\u201d<\/p>\n Crossing to the bed, the older man took a seat on it and looked at his child.\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s little face was so serious.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d he agreed.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s not.\u00a0 Was there…a lady in here?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe\u2019s eyes were bright in the darkness. \u00a0He nodded again, solemnly.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 A beautiful <\/em>lady.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, so you could see her in the dark?\u201d<\/p>\n His son grinned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOn account of she glowed all on her own!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben ran a hand over his face.\u00a0 \u201cShe…glowed, did she?\u201d\u00a0 The older man nodded toward the window.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u201cPerhaps the moonlight…?\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph\u2019s smile melted into a frown.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, sir.\u00a0 She glowed from the inside out!\u201d<\/p>\n Obviously, the boy had been dreaming and just didn\u2019t know it.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, this beautiful lady.\u00a0 She came to play with you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 I told her I was tired, but she said she wanted to stay \u2018cause tonight was important.\u201d\u00a0 As if to prove his point, his young son yawned.\u00a0 \u201cBut since she was a lady I had to be \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA gentleman?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh-huh.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stared at the boy a moment and then decided enough was enough.\u00a0 \u201cHow about we get you settled in, and then you can tell me more about her.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph fidgeted with the linens wrapped around his skinny frame.\u00a0 \u201cI been fightin\u2019 my covers again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can see that.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll just straighten them out first.\u00a0 How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReal good, Papa.\u201d<\/p>\n It took a couple of minutes.\u00a0 He had Joseph sit on the chair by his bed while he pulled and tucked his covers, all the while keeping an eye on the little boy to make sure he didn\u2019t drop off and \u2013 drop off.\u00a0 When he was done, Ben picked his son up and \u2013 after giving him a hug \u2013 tucked him in and under and drew the covers up to his chin.<\/p>\n Then he sat in the chair.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Joseph, tell me more about this lady.\u00a0 What does she look like?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe looks like Mama,\u201d his son said, so quickly it startled him.\u00a0 \u201cOnly older.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u00a0 How can you tell she\u2019s older?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHer hair\u2019s yellow, but it\u2019s the color of Hop Sing\u2019s pans here just like yours.\u201d\u00a0 Joe touched his temple.\u00a0 \u201cSo she\u2019s gotta<\/em> be old.\u201d<\/p>\n Out of the mouths of babes.<\/p>\n \u201cI see, and why did she want to stay \u2013 even though you told her you were tired?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe said she had something she wanted to give me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid she? \u00a0And what was that?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe screwed up his face.\u00a0 Then he shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cAll she did was tickle me and make me laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n As he had heard.\u00a0 \u201cThat was it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh huh.\u00a0 Then she gave me a big old bear hug and told me somethin\u2019 else, and then told me to remember it.\u201d<\/p>\n He was intrigued.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what was it you were to remember?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat up in his bed again and spoke as if he was reciting his sums.\u00a0 \u201cThat laughter is the language of God and that, with it, we can all live happily ever after.\u201d<\/p>\n Ah.<\/p>\n The imagination of a child.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, young man,\u201d he said, rising, \u201cnow that you have your gift \u2013 and your laugh \u2013 I think it\u2019s high time you go to sleep.\u201d\u00a0 Leaning in, Ben planted a kiss on his son\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 \u201cLay down now.\u00a0 Good night.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe\u2019s tiny fingers closed on the coverlet as he rolled over to one side.\u00a0 \u201cNight, Papa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had headed for the door, but stopped as his small son called him back.\u00a0 Taking a step toward the bed, he asked, \u201cWhat is it, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI love you, Papa.\u201d<\/p>\n A smile lit his face.\u00a0 \u201cI love you too, Joseph.\u00a0 Now get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa….\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stifled a sigh.\u00a0 With Joseph, it was inevitable that the \u2018goodnight\u2019 ritual take at least five minutes.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it now?\u201d<\/p>\n He was expecting the usual request for a drink or a second trip to the privy. \u00a0He was not expecting the answer her got.<\/p>\n \u201cThe pretty lady said to tell you she had a gift for you too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben blinked.\u00a0 \u201cA gift for me?\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe said it would be under the Christmas tree.\u201d<\/p>\n The older man frowned.\u00a0 It was spring.\u00a0 Christmas was over six months away.<\/p>\n What in the world had turned the boy\u2019s thought to that?<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I will be sure to remember.\u00a0 And if I don\u2019t, you remind me.\u00a0 All right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMm..hmm….\u201d<\/p>\n Then, there was silence.<\/p>\n At last.<\/p>\n Ben chuckled to himself as he headed out the door and toward the staircase.\u00a0 A gift for him from an unknown shining and beautiful lady with yellow hair touched by the silver of Hop Sing\u2019s pans.<\/p>\n What would the child think of next?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The next day flew like the hooves of his wife\u2019s beloved black stallion.\u00a0 The spring round-up was near and it had never been more important than this year.\u00a0 The last winter had been harsh and they had emerged from it in want \u2013 oh, not nearly so great a want as he had known after Adam\u2019s mother had died and the two of them had struck out for the West \u2013 but enough that he feared he would not be able to keep Marie in the style to which she was accustomed.\u00a0 His wife had grown furious with him when he had hinted at his purpose, accusing him of treating her like one of the fragile porcelain figurines she kept sitting on the what-knot shelf in the great room.\u00a0\u00a0 Marie told him she would be perfectly happy wearing rags and eating off of treenware dishes if she had him and her boys at her side.<\/p>\n He knew she meant it too.<\/p>\n Still, it did his heart good to shower her with things as beautiful as she was; to…pamper her.\u00a0 God had gifted him with a precious treasure when he had met and married Marie De Marigny.\u00a0 And then he had lavished even more <\/em>upon him in the gift of their son.\u00a0 Ben glanced at his feet where the boy sat playing quietly \u2013 for once \u2013 with the set of handsome wooden horses his mother had ordered for him from France. \u00a0\u00a0If there was one thing Joseph loved \u2013 maybe more <\/em>than his mother \u2013 it was horses.\u00a0 Joseph took to the fine fierce animals like a fish to water which, he had to admit, had been a bone of contention between him and Marie at times.\u00a0 She often took the boy down to the corral to watch his brothers and the few hands they had work with the wild, free-spirited animals.\u00a0\u00a0 He thought Joseph was too young.\u00a0 He was afraid the boy would get it into his head that he was old enough to do what his brothers did.<\/p>\n Marie had laughed the first time he\u2019d put words to his unease \u2013 that lovely, lilting, tinkling laugh she had.\u00a0 She called him a \u2018inqui\u00e9tude \u00a0verrue\u2019 <\/em>or a worry wart.\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Does the Bible not say,\u2019 his beautiful wife went on, \u2018that worry cannot add one hair to your head or a day to your life, mon Cherie<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben chuckled.<\/p>\n had<\/em> turned more than a few of them silver.<\/p>\n The rancher felt a tug on his pants\u2019 leg.\u00a0 He looked down to find his young son\u2019s cherubic face looking up at him.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen will Mama be home?\u201d<\/p>\n When indeed?\u00a0 Marie had gone to visit a neighbor; riding away on that fast-flying thoroughbred of hers.\u00a0 He had qualms about that horse, though the hands he\u2019d\u00a0 questioned said it was a good horse, if somewhat skittish.\u00a0 He considered it too big for his wife\u2019s small frame.<\/p>\n Though not too big for her spirit.<\/p>\n Ben rose and moved into the great room so he could see the tall case clock by the door.\u00a0 It was about 4:30.\u00a0 Hop Sing insisted on dinner at 6:00 and Marie would need time to change.<\/p>\n \u201cAny minute,\u201d he assured his son.<\/p>\n \u201cThe pretty lady told me last night to give Mama a big hug and a kiss today before she left,\u201d his son said as he went back to playing with his horses.<\/p>\n \u201cThe pretty lady?\u201d\u00a0 For a moment Ben was stumped.\u00a0 Then, he remembered Little Joe\u2019s sometimes nocturnal visitor.<\/p>\n The boy nodded without looking up.\u00a0 \u201cShe was sad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u00a0 And why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged and then looked right at him.\u00a0 \u201cShe told me to tell you to remember to look for that gift.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned and opened his mouth to ask his son what he was talking about.<\/p>\n That was the moment when his world turned upside-down.<\/p>\n He heard a horse snort and blow and his wife\u2019s voice scolding it.\u00a0 Adam called out something.\u00a0 The door opened \u2013 he didn\u2019t know how \u2013 and he saw his beloved astride that damn horse.\u00a0 The black was backing up and bucking.\u00a0 Rearing.\u00a0 Marie was fighting for control.\u00a0 She almost had it.<\/p>\n It was then that he realized what had caused the door to open.<\/p>\n Joseph was running toward his mama.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes locked with his wife\u2019s.\u00a0 There was terror in them \u2013 and regret.\u00a0 \u00a0She pulled the horse\u2019s reins sharply to the left.\u00a0 The animal fought against her, tossing its head from side to side, shrieking and rearing; its hooves striking out.<\/p>\n There was another shout and a blur of motion.\u00a0 Adam swooped in like a falcon on the chase.\u00a0 He caught hold of his brother on the run and the two of them tumbled out of danger.<\/p>\n And then there was another sound; a sound he would never forget.\u00a0\u00a0 Later, he would recognize it as the noise of a nearly two-ton weight animal striking the ground.<\/p>\n At that moment he felt it as a clap of thunder.<\/p>\n A second later he was on his knees at his dying wife\u2019s side.<\/p>\n Marie\u2019s emerald green eyes fastened on his.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph…?\u201dshe asked through her pain.<\/p>\n \u201cSafe,\u201d he said as he clasped her gloved hand.\u00a0 It was waving in the air as if seeking something out of reach.<\/p>\n Marie nodded and then her back arched \u2013 as much as it could with the weight of the horse atop her.\u00a0 She grimaced, breaking his heart, and then \u2013 unexpectedly \u2013 smiled.\u00a0 The most beautiful, heartfelt smile.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie?\u201d he pleaded.<\/p>\n Her eyes closed as if she was gathering strength, and then his beautiful wife looked right at him.<\/p>\n \u201cRemember, mon cherie<\/em>,\u201d she breathed.<\/p>\n And was gone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Chapter Two –\u00a0Winter, 1847<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Adam Cartwright moved down the staircase, careful to keep his steps as light as he could.\u00a0 His father had fallen asleep in his chair \u2013 again.\u00a0 Since Marie\u2019s death, whenever he bothered to come home, the older man went straight to it.\u00a0 Pa would fall into that chair, order Hop Sing to bring him a bottle of brandy, and then drink at least half of it.\u00a0 They had learned to give him a wide berth. \u00a0\u00a0Well, he and Hoss had.<\/p>\n Little Joe just didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n And so he had made it his job <\/em>to make sure Little Joe was \u2018elsewhere\u2019 when Pa was in one of his moods \u2013 which was most of the time that he was home.\u00a0 Or maybe it would be better to say, when he was \u2018in the house\u2019.\u00a0 The Ponderosa hadn\u2019t been a\u00a0 home since that terrible day last spring when Marie\u2019s horse spooked and landed on top of her.<\/p>\n The teenager paused at the bottom of the steps.\u00a0 His father didn\u2019t know it, but he did.\u00a0 The older man blamed Little Joe for Marie\u2019s death.\u00a0 Oh, not consciously \u2013 and Pa had never said anything to Joe or to any of them \u2013 but it was there.<\/p>\n Pa avoided Marie\u2019s son just as much as he did the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n At first, he\u2019d thought their pa had a hard time being around his baby brother because Joe looked so much like Marie \u2013 more so, in fact, with each day that passed.\u00a0 That was a part of it, but there was something deeper \u2013 and darker \u2013 to it.\u00a0 Pa was always short with Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 He said it was because he had no time and, Joe being Joe, didn\u2019t understand.\u00a0 But that wasn\u2019t it.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s eyes returned to his father where he slumped in the chair.\u00a0 Pa had plenty of time to waste in a stupor, after all.\u00a0 No, he knew what his father believed and why the older man thought what he thought.\u00a0 But Pa was wrong.<\/p>\n Dead wrong.<\/p>\n He\u2019d<\/em> been on the other side of things that day as his step-mother came riding into the yard.\u00a0 He was at the barn, talking to one of the hands.\u00a0 The black was acting like a bee-stung stallion.\u00a0 Marie barely had it under control.\u00a0 It was only a matter of time before it threw her or came crashing down on top of her.\u00a0 Nothing could have stopped it.<\/p>\n It was plain bad luck that Little Joe chose that moment to run out of the door.<\/p>\n His little brother had been in danger too \u2013 from the animal\u2019s wild and willful thrashing \u2013 but he didn\u2019t cause <\/em>the thrashing.\u00a0 That <\/em>was an unfortunate combination of the horse\u2019s temperament and its rider\u2019s temper.\u00a0 Marie was high-handed with a mount.\u00a0 She expected it to understand her and obey instantly.\u00a0 He\u2019d seen it many times.<\/p>\n This time she met a horse as stubborn as she was.<\/p>\n With careful steps, the teenager moved into the room and headed for the kitchen. \u00a0Little Joe had been crying again and he had promised his baby brother a warm glass of milk and some of the cookies left over from their meal.\u00a0 Pa had come in unexpectedly just after supper growling about his trip being a waste of time, and then shouting about the cookies being a waste of good money.\u00a0 It had been all he could do to keep his mouth shut.<\/p>\n In fact, it had been all he could do to keep from yelling back.<\/p>\n Adam paused to run a hand through his hair, thrusting the fringe of black back and off his forehead.\u00a0 He\u2019d be the first to admit it.\u00a0 He\u2019d been sort of jealous of Joe before Marie died.\u00a0 The kid got everything handed to him on a silver platter \u2013 the best clothes, enough toys to fill a store, more than enough to eat; kisses and hugs and pats on the head and promises of more.\u00a0 At Little Joe\u2019s age, he\u2019d sometimes felt the back of his father\u2019s hand and been growled at as many times as his stomach had growled for lack of food.\u00a0 He\u2019d grown used to it.\u00a0 Little Joe wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 There were times now when he looked at the little scamp that Joe looked like he\u2019d lost his best friend.<\/p>\n Adam glanced at his pa again where he sagged in his chair.<\/p>\n Of course, Joe had.<\/p>\n He hadn\u2019t any more than taken a step when the older man stirred and grunted, \u201cWho\u2019s that?\u201d \u00a0No surprise, his father\u2019s words were slightly slurred.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019re…you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just me, Pa.\u00a0 Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n The teenager winced as the tall case clock chose that inopportune moment to chime quarter after midnight.<\/p>\n His father\u2019s eyes went to it.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cWhat are you…doing up so late?\u201d<\/p>\n Curfew was eleven.\u00a0 Probably so he wouldn\u2019t see what he was seeing now.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Pa.\u00a0 I was just getting a glass of milk.\u201d<\/p>\n The inebriated man pushed himself up by bracing his hands on the arms of the chair.\u00a0 \u201cAren\u2019t…you a little…old…for a glass of milk?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam winced and waited for the explosion.\u00a0 Pa would have a fit that Joe wasn\u2019t asleep.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s for Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour brother\u2019s…awake?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust woke up.\u00a0 A minute go,\u201d he lied.\u00a0 \u201cI thought the milk would help him get back to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n His father didn\u2019t explode as he\u2019d expected.\u00a0 Instead, he surprised him.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll get it, Adam.\u00a0 You go…to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n Startled<\/em> him was more like it.\u00a0 This was definitely not <\/em>a good thing \u2013 especially considering what was in Little Joe\u2019s room.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa,\u201d he replied as he headed for the hall.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t mind \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you dish-oh…disobeying me?\u201d his father roared.<\/p>\n Yes, he was.\u00a0\u00a0 And with good reason.<\/p>\n Christmas was in a few days.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa had told them he would be gone until New Years.\u00a0 Little Joe had been so sad when the older man left that he\u2019d decided to do something to cheer him up.\u00a0 Together with Hoss, they\u2019d headed out to find a small pine tree and put it in Little Joe\u2019s room. \u00a0They\u2019d had a blast decorating it.\u00a0 Hop Sing had even joined in, supplying the gingerbread men.\u00a0 The tree stood proudly now, in front of his baby brother\u2019s window, dripping with tinsel and decked out with candles and homemade ornaments.<\/p>\n Pa had forbidden Christmas this year.<\/p>\n Adam cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa. I\u2019m not disobeying you.\u00a0 But you did ask me…\u201d\u00a0 He paused to correct himself.\u00a0 \u201c…order <\/em>me to tell you if I thought you were too…tired<\/em>…to take care of Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Something like pain entered his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI did.\u00a0 When?\u201d<\/p>\n This was it \u2013 acceptance or the belt.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you were sober.\u201d<\/p>\n Anger flared in his father\u2019s eyes, a familiar anger \u2013 the kind that had brought that callused hand to his backside when he was young.\u00a0 Then, as quickly as it flared, it was gone.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, son,\u201d was all he said.<\/p>\n The teenager didn\u2019t know how to respond. \u00a0He looked down toward his feet and then back up.\u00a0 Pa was still staring at him.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll just go get that milk then.\u00a0 Shall I?\u201d he inquired, jerking his finger toward the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe will be waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n His father nodded and then dropped back into his chair.\u00a0 Anchoring his chin on his folded fingers, the older man turned and looked at the fire.<\/p>\n Adam took that as a \u2018yes\u2019.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben Cartwright opened his eyes and shivered.\u00a0 It took him a moment to remember where he was.\u00a0 When he did, he shifted and looked at the hearth.\u00a0 There were a few active coals left, but they did little to dispel the chill that had settled on the room.<\/p>\n It was not as great a chill as the one that had settled on his heart.<\/p>\n The older man turned back into the great room and looked around.\u00a0 He knew what he should<\/em> see \u2013 all that he had achieved and all he had.\u00a0 But the only thing he could see was what was missing.<\/p>\n Marie.<\/p>\n It had been a little over six months ago since he had lost her.\u00a0 In some ways it felt as if he had never had<\/em> her to begin with and in others, like it had only been a day since she had been in his arms.\u00a0 Falling back, he stared at the elegant settee his late wife had ordered from France.\u00a0 He could see her sitting there, a book in one hand; the other stroking Joseph\u2019s curls as he lay in her lap sleeping.<\/p>\n Joseph.<\/p>\n Ben ran a hand over his face, feeling the stubble.\u00a0 Plain and simple, he\u2019d failed the boy.\u00a0 No .\u00a0 Who was he kidding?\u00a0 He\u2019d failed all<\/em> of them \u2013 not only Marie\u2019s son, but Inger and Elizabeth\u2019s as well.\u00a0 Hoss was the easiest going of the three.\u00a0 His middle son accepted him as he was and where<\/em> he was.\u00a0 Hoss would be fine.\u00a0 \u00a0Adam, on the other hand, was shamed by him.\u00a0 He knew it.\u00a0 And Adam was angry \u2013 angry that he\u2019d been forced to grow up too quickly \u2013 that there was no time to raise hell with his friends.\u00a0 No time to be a boy.\u00a0 \u00a0And then there was <\/em>his boy.\u00a0 His youngest.<\/p>\n Joseph was withering.<\/p>\n Ben rose with a start, displacing the half-empty brandy snifter on the table and knocking it to the floor.\u00a0 He stared at it as it hit the stones and shattered into a dozen pieces, echoing the stuff of his soul.\u00a0 He had nothing for the boy and the boy knew it.\u00a0 It…just wasn\u2019t in him.\u00a0 At first he had told himself that it was because he was an old man.\u00a0 In a way, he had never raised a child.\u00a0 Adam had been his partner \u2013 and all too soon his right hand.\u00a0 Hoss?\u00a0 Well, in truth, it was Adam who had reared Hoss as he<\/em> forged his empire.\u00a0 \u00a0He had been so pleased \u2013 so excited \u2013 when his youngest had come along.\u00a0 He had doted on the boy and enjoyed nothing more than coming home in the evening after a hard day\u2019s work to spend time with him and his mother.<\/p>\n Joseph and<\/em> his mother.<\/p>\n How often, in reality, had he spent time with the boy on his own?<\/p>\n Ben remained where he was, considering his failures.\u00a0 As he did, a tear escaped to trail down his cheek.\u00a0 He\u2019d gone so far as to try to convince himself that he blamed Joseph for his mother\u2019s death in order to excuse his behavior. \u00a0It had been a selfish thing to do and pure fiction.<\/p>\n No one<\/em> was responsible for Marie\u2019s death but Marie.<\/p>\n And God.<\/p>\n \u201cAh, there\u2019s the rub,\u201d the rancher sighed, quoting Adam\u2019s bard.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t Joseph he was angry at.<\/p>\n Reaching up, Ben struck the tear away.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath as he glanced up the stairs.\u00a0 Adam had acted so strangely when he\u2019d offered to take Joseph the milk, almost as if….<\/p>\n As if Joseph was afraid of him.<\/p>\n A thought struck him then, and a deep sadness, as he remembered the night before Marie\u2019s fall \u2013 that night when he had been stopped outside his youngest\u2019s door, drawn there by the sound of his son\u2019s joyous laughter.<\/p>\n There had been no laughter in the house since<\/em> that night.<\/p>\n Lost in thought, Ben left the hearth area and walked to the kitchen.\u00a0 Entering it, he looked around for the cookie jar.\u00a0 He\u2019d take a couple up and leave them on the bedside table with a note telling Joseph that he loved and missed him.\u00a0 Adam or Hoss could read it to the boy in the morning.\u00a0 He would leave tonight.\u00a0 \u00a0It seemed they were doing fine without him and he couldn\u2019t stand to be home.<\/p>\n Not tomorrow.<\/p>\n *****************<\/p>\n THREE<\/p>\n *****************<\/p>\n The clock struck three as Ben Cartwright climbed the stairs, cookies in hand.\u00a0 He stopped at Joseph\u2019s door and looked down the hallway.\u00a0 It pained him to think that he wouldn\u2019t have a chance to talk to his middle boy, but he had made up his mind to go.\u00a0 His sons would be better off without him.\u00a0 He\u2019d seen a few things in the kitchen as he scrounged around that indicated Hop Sing was not adhering to his order that Christmas be ignored.\u00a0 Of course, none of them had expected him back.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t intended<\/em> to come back, but after the deal he was brokering fell through something \u2013 he had no idea what \u2013 had drawn him home a surely as a bee drew a bear to honey.\u00a0\u00a0 Perhaps it was a need to see his boys and to make sure they were well.\u00a0 He\u2019d look in on Hoss after he left the plate for Joe.\u00a0 That way, he would have seen him at least.<\/p>\n And then he would excuse himself from their lives again.<\/p>\n Ben didn\u2019t know what he expected as he stepped in the door, but it was certainly not what he found.\u00a0 He\u2019d crossed all the way over to the bed and placed the plate on the table beside it before he noticed \u2013 and when he did, he was stunned.\u00a0 Apparently, where his order was being circumnavigated downstairs, in Joseph\u2019s room it had been completely<\/em> ignored.\u00a0 A small, three-foot-tall fir tree stood in front of the boy\u2019s window, bathed in tinsel and hung with handmade ornaments, most of which glinted in the silvery moonlight.\u00a0 There were packages under it \u2013 some wrapped by Hoss no doubt as the paper was asymmetrical at best in its application.\u00a0 As his indignation rose, Ben noted idly that the tree had no topper.<\/p>\n Good.<\/p>\n At least there was one thing in the house as empty as his soul.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you mad, Papa?\u201d a small voice asked.<\/p>\n Mad?\u00a0 He was furious!\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Rounding, Ben glared at the small figure in the bed with its wide eyes and tousled curls \u2013 and then felt like a jackass.\u00a0 His son was terrified.\u00a0\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s face, where it showed above the coverlet, shone with tears as bright as the tinsel on the tree.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Papa, if I made you mad.\u00a0 Adam said it would be…be all right….\u201d\u00a0 The little boy shuddered.\u00a0 \u201c….he didn\u2019t think you\u2019d be home.\u201d<\/p>\n Feeling about as low as the belly of a snake, Ben crossed to the bed and sat by his son.\u00a0 When he reached out, Joseph flinched.\u00a0 He held still until the boy recognized that he meant him no harm, and then laid his hand alongside the child\u2019s cherubic cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, son,\u201d he said, his voice quivering.<\/p>\n Joseph looked t him as if he was a loon.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t done nothin\u2019 wrong, Papa.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been a bad boy.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned and glanced at the tree.\u00a0 It sparkled in the moonlight, condemning him.\u00a0\u00a0 Turning back, he said, \u201cBecause you had Adam put up a tree?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know\u2019d you didn\u2019t want one in the house.\u00a0 I know\u2019d it would make you sad.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAnd how did you know it would make me sad?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCause, like me, it reminds you of Mama.\u201d<\/p>\n The older man was struck like a blow by memories.\u00a0 He saw them all gathered in the great room, their voices lifted in song.\u00a0 Marie sat on the settee with Joseph in the crook of her arm, smiling, as his older sons decorated the tree.\u00a0 There were parties.\u00a0 Guests.\u00a0 And then, after the guests had gone and the boys were in bed, that kiss under the mistletoe and the journey up the stairs to their room.<\/p>\n Dear God, how he missed her.<\/p>\n \u201cPapa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben blinked back tears as he came to himself.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow come thinkin\u2019 about Mama makes you sad?\u00a0 Don\u2019t you love her anymore?\u201d<\/p>\n That stopped him cold.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, I love your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe cocked his head.\u00a0 A frown marred his precious face.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t love make you happy?\u00a0 You ain\u2019t happy.\u201d<\/p>\n The older man shook his head.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to talk to Hoss about his grammar.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m \u2018not\u2019, son,\u201d he corrected.<\/p>\n Joseph\u2019s little head bobbed up and down.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what Adam says.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d\u00a0 Ben thought of the teenager standing there, staring at him from his position behind Marie\u2019s settee.\u00a0 \u201cWhat does your brother say?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked frightened again.\u00a0 \u201cWill I get him in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, son.\u00a0 Just tell me the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh…kay.\u00a0 Adam says you\u2019re sad \u2018cause of Mama. \u00a0He says, when Mama went away she took your heart with her and there ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 but a big ol\u2019 hole there now.\u201d\u00a0 His youngest hesitated and then reached out.\u00a0 His tiny fingers touched his vest.\u00a0 \u201cCan I find it for you, Papa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben fought back tears.\u00a0 He drew a breath to steady himself before taking Joseph\u2019s small fingers in his own.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have to find it, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s here.\u201d\u00a0 He touched the boy\u2019s golden curls.\u00a0 \u201cWith you….\u201d\u00a0 He cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cWith you and your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph sat there, silent, for some time.\u00a0 He seemed to be considering all he had said.\u00a0 Finally, scrunching up his nose, his child said, \u201cI gots me presents for Adam and Hoss under my tree. \u00a0I made them myself.\u201d\u00a0 He hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cIs it…is it okay that that there\u2019s one for you too?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glanced again at the little Christmas tree \u2013 nearly as small as its owner \u2013 and the wrapped boxes beneath it.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOne of those is for me?\u201d<\/p>\n His son crawled out of his covers and came to sit beside him.\u00a0 His curly head bobbed up and down.<\/p>\n Ben hesitated and then wrapped an arm around Little Joe\u2019s waist.\u00a0 \u201cDid you<\/em> make it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Joseph looked uncomfortable.\u00a0 \u00a0Finally he admitted, \u201cI didn\u2019t think you\u2019d want one so it ain\u2019t from me.\u00a0 Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 He was surprised.\u00a0 \u201cThen who is it from?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe pretty lady with the yellow hair.\u201d<\/p>\n It took him a moment.\u00a0 Then, that night of laughter came back to him again\u2013 along with the memory of the following day.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you know there is no such lady.\u201d<\/p>\n The boy looked affronted.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t lyin\u2019.\u00a0 You don\u2019t let us lie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t….\u201d\u00a0 Ben cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to imply that you were lying, son.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you believe she is real.\u00a0 Perhaps, you were dreaming?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe is<\/em> real, Papa!\u00a0 She is!\u00a0 The pretty lady with yellow hair comes to my room and sings to me and laughs with me and tells me all about mama.\u201d\u00a0 His voice grew quiet.\u00a0 \u201cShe tells me about you too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben didn\u2019t know what to think.\u00a0 \u201cWhat does she tell you about me?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe\u2019s green eyes grew wide.<\/p>\n \u201cThat…you ain\u2019t gonna learn to live \u2018til you learn to laugh again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Several hours later Ben Cartwright sat in the chair by his youngest\u2019s bed, blinking back sleep as he stared at the Christmas tree his sons had erected \u2013 despite his wishes.\u00a0 It sparkled with the light of the stars that spilled in the window and seemed to glow. \u00a0\u00a0Ben blinked and the light diminished.\u00a0 Then he leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands.<\/p>\n He felt like a complete failure.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are too hard on yourself, Benjamin.\u201d<\/p>\n Startled, he looked up.\u00a0 The light around the tree had returned.\u00a0 It intensified and coalesced into the form of a small, slender woman.<\/p>\n A woman with yellow hair.<\/p>\n She was about his age.\u00a0 He blonde hair was upswept and, as his son had said, touched with silver at the temples.\u00a0 She wore a simple pale blue dress. \u00a0Behind and about her there was a sort of pale pink light, like the shimmer on pearls.<\/p>\n Ben sat straight up.\u00a0 He blinked and rubbed his eyes.\u00a0 When the vision persisted, he asked, \u201cWho are you?\u00a0 How did you get into my son\u2019s room?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have always been here.\u00a0 You simply lacked the faith to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 I would have known….\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNon, mon cher fils<\/em>,\u201d she said, her eyes sparkling.\u00a0 \u201cNot unless I had wished it.\u201d<\/p>\n Mon cher fils.<\/em><\/p>\n My dear son.<\/p>\n \u201cWho are<\/em> you?\u201d he asked again.<\/p>\n The woman moved from the window to his side, bringing the shimmering pink luminescence with her.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Holding his gaze, she reached out and laid a hand alongside his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cOnce upon a time, mon cher fils, <\/em>you would have known me.\u00a0 I am love and light and laughter.\u00a0 I am a reminder of all that you have forgotten.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re…French?\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed and the sound was like tinkling bells.\u00a0 \u201cI was…once upon a time.\u201d<\/p>\n There was something about her \u2013 something familiar.\u00a0 It was close.\u00a0 He could almost grasp it.<\/p>\n Almost.<\/p>\n \u201cYou try too hard,\u201d she said, as if reading his thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cI have to,\u201d he sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI have a ranch to run.\u00a0 Sons to provide for.\u00a0 They need a place to sleep, clothes on their backs, food in their bellies….\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou have forgotten to mention the one thing they need most.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is that?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n She moved away from him.\u00a0 Crossing to the other side of the bed, she gazed down lovingly at his young son.\u00a0 \u201cYou, Benjamin.\u00a0 They need you<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She laid a hand on Joseph\u2019s curls.\u00a0 \u201cEspecially this little one.\u00a0 It is not too late.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cToo late?\u00a0 What do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n The blonde woman looked up.\u00a0 Her gaze pierced his heart.\u00a0 \u201cShall I paint you a picture, mon fils<\/em>?\u00a0 A portrait of a fiery young man whose life has been formed by loss.\u00a0 Who desperately seeks his father\u2019s attention in the only way he knows how.\u00a0 Whose days end not in joy but in grief \u2013 at the end of a rope.\u201d<\/p>\n His eyes went to his sleeping son, so young , so innocent.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOui<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 The woman returned to his side.\u00a0 Reaching out, she took his hand in hers.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph is as fiery as his mother.\u00a0 Just as strong and just as fragile.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you know of Marie?\u201d he challenged, his voice choking as he spoke his late wife\u2019s name.<\/p>\n Her hand moved to his heart.<\/p>\n \u201cI know she would want you to laugh again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben started awake.\u00a0 He blinked and looked at the window.\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s Christmas tree was there, the tinsel and ornaments glinting in the dawning light. \u00a0Outside, snow was falling.\u00a0 He was surprised to find that the sight filled him with joy and not sadness.<\/p>\n \u201cMorning, Papa,\u201d a small voice said.\u00a0 \u201cIs it okay to wish you Merry Christmas?\u201d<\/p>\n The older man closed his eyes.\u00a0 He drew in a breath as he did and then let it out\u00a0 slowly.\u00a0 Once he had regained his composure, Ben looked at his boy.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joseph, and\u00a0 a Merry Christmas to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe studied him.\u00a0 Finally, he asked, \u201cDid you talk to the lady with the yellow hair?\u201d<\/p>\n There was no reason to deny it \u2013 dream or reality, he had<\/em> talked to her.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son, I did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid you open her present yet?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at the tree.\u00a0 There were several presents\u00a0 under it.\u00a0 They all looked the same \u2013 except one.\u00a0 It was wrapped in a beautiful pale pink paper than shone like the inside of a Queen conch shell and looked quite out of place next to the other, very masculine boxes.\u00a0\u00a0 He rose and went to the tree and picked it up.<\/p>\n \u201cThis one?\u201d he asked his son.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n The rancher returned to the chair by the bed and started to sit, but then changed his mind.\u00a0 He looked at his son.\u00a0 \u201cWould it be all right, Joseph, if I sat beside you on the bed while I opened it?\u201d<\/p>\n His son looked a little frightened, but nodded his head.<\/p>\n That look pained him.<\/p>\n As he slipped in beside the boy, Ben said, \u201cJoseph, can I ask you something?\u201d<\/p>\n The little boy nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, call me Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes lit up.\u00a0 \u201cLike Adam and Hoss do?\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cJust like Adam and Hoss do.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He held out his hand.\u00a0 \u201cIs it a deal?\u201d<\/p>\n Solemnly his small son shook it.\u00a0 Then he asked, \u201cYou gonna open the lady\u2019s package…Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n He was almost frightened to.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll help if you\u2019re scared.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at the boy, surprised by his perception.\u00a0 Then he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Together, they took hold of the ends of the ribbon bow on top and pulled.\u00a0 It seemed to magically fall away, leaving a small box wrapped in pink paper.\u00a0 Next. he indicated to Little Joe where to place his finger and instructed the boy to run it along the seam, dislodging the glue.\u00a0 He did the same on the other side and then to two of them \u2013 together \u2013 pulled the paper away to reveal a printed paper box covered with drawings of angels.<\/p>\n \u201cIt looks like the ones Mama had.\u00a0 The ones she kept her hats in,\u201d his son said and then winced as if he had said something wrong.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, it does.\u00a0 Mama had a lot of pretty things.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cMama was pretty.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t she, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Tears entered his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYes, she was.\u201d\u00a0 He hesitated.\u00a0 \u201c Joseph, you know I loved her very much.\u00a0 Just like I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n His son\u2019 eyes narrowed.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re different, Pa.\u00a0 How come?\u201d<\/p>\n He winked.\u00a0 \u201cI met your lady with the yellow hair.\u201d<\/p>\n As his son watched, Ben lifted the lid off the box.\u00a0 When he saw what it held, he began to laugh.\u00a0 In fact, laughter bubbled up in him and spilled over until tears of joy were running down his cheeks.<\/p>\n Joseph was clapping his hands.\u00a0 \u201cSee!\u00a0 See, I told you!\u00a0 She said you needed to learn to laugh again!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben ruffled his son\u2019s unruly golden curls.\u00a0 Then, he ran his sleeve over his face to wipe away the tears.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you take it out, son,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Little Joe\u2019s eyes danced with excitement.<\/p>\n He watched as the boy pulled out the yellow-haired lady\u2019s present .\u00a0 Then he picked him up \u2013 present and all \u2013 and carried him over to his tree.\u00a0 Joseph looked at him.\u00a0 When he nodded, his son soberly\u00a0 planted the gift on the tree\u2019s piney top.<\/p>\n Stepping back, Ben gazed in wonder at the handmade angel with her cornflower-yellow yarn hair, pale blue dress, and pink pearlescent wings.<\/p>\n Joe was looking in the box.\u00a0 \u201cPa, there\u2019s a note in here.\u201d\u00a0 He pulled out a piece of paper.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t read it.\u00a0 Can you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA note?\u00a0 Really?\u201d\u00a0 Taking his son and crossing back over to the bed, Ben took his seat as he accepted the note from him.\u00a0 His eyes quickly scanned its content.\u00a0 A moment later he lowered it to his lap.<\/p>\n \u201cWho\u2019s it from, Pa?\u201d Little Joe asked as his fingers sought the lightly scented paper.<\/p>\n It took a moment for him to reply.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s from your grandmother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGrand mother?\u00a0 Does that mean she\u2019s really big like Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n He chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cNo, just really old<\/em> like me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph blinked.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n That made the laughter bubble up again.\u00a0 The note in his hand silenced it \u2013 with awe.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat does it say, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n He hadn\u2019t realized Marie\u2019s mother was still living.\u00a0 His wife had never spoken of her, and he wondered now if they had parted on less than friendly terms.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes returned to the tree in the window.\u00a0 The little yellow-haired angel gazed back at him, its blue eyes wide and wise.<\/p>\n Clearing his throat, he read:<\/p>\n \u2018Fille ch\u00e9rie<\/em>, It has been more than a year since your maman<\/em> has heard from you.\u00a0 One of the late Marius Angeville\u2019s friends informed me that you had moved to the Nevada territory and have a little one.\u00a0 I pray this letter finds you there.\u00a0 With all my heart, mon petite<\/em> Marie, I wish I could see you again, but it will not happen in this lifetime, and so I send your dear little Anne in my place.\u00a0 Do you remember the beautiful lady with the yellow hair who kept watch over you? \u00a0I told her you have need of her now.\u00a0 Place her on your tree each year at Christmas and she will watch over your small son and remind his dear mama and papa of what is important….\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cLove, light, and laughter,\u201d Ben read, his voice soft as the fall of snow outside.<\/p>\n \u201cWas she right, Pa?\u201d Little Joe asked.\u00a0 \u201cAre you all better now that you learned how to laugh again?\u201d<\/p>\n He circled his son\u2019s small form with an arm and drew him in close.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son.\u00a0 I\u2019m all better now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n EPILOGUE –\u00a0December 25th<\/sup>, 1863<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben started and sat up, a little embarrassed to find that he had fallen asleep in the chair by the fire \u2013 and without the influence of brandy!\u00a0 Joseph stood before him.\u00a0 His son\u2019s rampant curls were tousled and the boy was wearing his robe.<\/p>\n \u201cYou been there all night?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n He glanced at the window above the dining table.\u00a0 The dawn light was spilling through it.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s smile was chagrined.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess so.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cKeepin\u2019 watch over the tree?\u201d<\/p>\n The older man\u2019s eyes went to the splendid fir.\u00a0 His lips twitched.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat on the edge of the table.\u00a0 His son pivoted on the polished wood so he, too, was facing the tree.\u00a0 He watched the boy\u2019s eyes climb it to the tattered angel that graced its top.\u00a0 For a moment Joe was silent and then his lips quirked with amusement.\u00a0 When he turned to face him, his son had \u2018that\u2019 look in his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou sure you weren\u2019t sparkin\u2019 with Anne?\u00a0 I know you\u2019re sweet on her.\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cFifteen years now and we haven\u2019t missed a date.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe chuckled, but sobered quickly as his eyes went back to the little angel.\u00a0 \u201cPa….\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWas she real?\u00a0 The lady with the yellow hair, I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s gaze followed his son\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s right there.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked at him.\u00a0 \u201cYou know what I mean.\u00a0 Not,\u201d he nodded toward the tree, \u201cthat<\/em> lady.\u00a0 The other one.\u00a0 The one in my room.\u201d<\/p>\n They hadn\u2019t spoken about it for years.\u00a0 As Joseph grew, his son became self-conscious.\u00a0 Of course, his brothers hadn\u2019t helped.\u00a0 They\u2019d teased him mercilessly about the little yellow-haired angel.\u00a0 It had taken a patriarchal edict to put a stop to it and, after that, the matter had dropped.<\/p>\n No one said anything.<\/p>\n He wondered now what had prompted his son to broach the sensitive subject again.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you remember, son?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cNot much.\u00a0 I was pretty little.\u201d\u00a0 The boy rose and walked over to the tree.\u00a0 He stood there a moment, fingering one of the branches, and then said, \u201cI remember you were…sad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wasn\u2019t sad.\u00a0 I was mad, Joseph.\u00a0 Mad at the world.\u00a0 Mad at God.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned and looked at him.\u00a0 One corner of his mouth quirked.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I remember that too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben rose and walked over to the boy and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, son, that I ever made you afraid of me.\u201d\u00a0 When Joe began to protest, he went on.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t deny it.\u00a0 I…lost myself after your mother died.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t there for you and for that I apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 It\u2019s not.\u00a0 I was so mired in self-pity that I forgot I wasn\u2019t the only one who was hurting.\u00a0 I thought you boys would be better off without me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u00a0\u201cPa, no!\u00a0 Never!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know that now.\u201d\u00a0 Ben looked up.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I owe it to your maternal grandmother and her gift.\u201d<\/p>\n His son sniffed back his emotions as he too looked up.\u00a0 \u201cYou know Pa, I think….\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you think, Joe?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think…it was <\/em>mama\u2019s mama who came to visit me.\u201d\u00a0 He winced, knowing it sounded peculiar.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t think I\u2019m crazy do you?\u201d<\/p>\n No, he didn\u2019t think his son was crazy. \u00a0After that night, he had hired a private detective to track down Marie\u2019s mother.\u00a0 By the time the man located her, she had passed.\u00a0 The detective had gathered what information he could and sent him a file, which he had placed in his desk and never shared with his son.<\/p>\n Until now.<\/p>\n \u201cWait here, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph\u2019s puzzled look followed him across the room and back.\u00a0 Upon his return, Ben opened the file and drew a heavily decorated small leather case from it and handed it to his son.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cOpen it.\u201d<\/p>\n When he did, his son\u2019s mouth fell open.\u00a0 Tears welled in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cPa, that\u2019s her!\u201d he exclaimed, looking at him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s the lady with the yellow hair!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took the image back from his boy and gazed at it.\u00a0 Marie\u2019s mother had been a wealthy woman. The daguerreotype was hand tinted.\u00a0\u00a0 From its shining metal surface a handsome, bold, and determined woman looked back at him.\u00a0 Her blonde hair was winged with silver and she wore a pale blue dress.\u00a0 Behind her was a curtain of pink.<\/p>\n Her name was Anne.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Ben Cartwright,\u00a0Family,\u00a0Fourth Wife,\u00a0Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright,\u00a0Marie Cartwright<\/p>\n