Broken Sugar Bowl<\/strong><\/p>\n Broken Sugar Bowl<\/strong><\/p>\n Ben Cartwright enjoyed little more than having all his family come together for supper at the Ponderosa on an early advent evening, particularly now that Adam and his own little family lived in their own house, half-way between the Ponderosa and Virginia City.<\/p>\n It was at times as these that it struck him how blessed he was, just sitting contently at the coffee table after an excellent meal, holding his three-months-old granddaughter in his arms and happily ignoring he had long ago succeeded rocking her to sleep, listening to his sons\u2019 easy banter about who was to eat the last ginger cookie (or ginger biscuit as Juliet insisted as she\u2019d baked them), and watching his daughter-in-law and grandson Henry making paper snowflakes.<\/p>\n According to his parents, making snowflakes was Henry\u2019s favourite pastime lately, right after snowball fighting. The boy unfolded his latest creation, carefully and under close scrutiny of his mother, stitched a white twine through one of its delicate points and then, while humming One-Horse Open Sleigh, let it dangle from his finger, moving it across the coffee table. It went over the now empty tray of biscuits, flew circles around each coffee cup, pretended to dip into the cream jug, and finally descended onto the sugar bowl.<\/p>\n Henry fastened the twine on the acorn adorning the lid, faltered, and then fingered the bowl.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s broken,\u201d he eventually said. \u201cHere. It was glued together, but it\u2019s broken.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut why don\u2019t you use a whole one?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause, young man, it\u2019s a family tradition to use it during Christmas time.\u201d Carefully, so as not to wake the baby, Ben leaned forward and picked the bowl up. Tenderly, he followed the crack that had split the bowl in half with his finger. \u201cIt was your Uncle Hoss\u2019s mother\u2019s. It\u2019s the only keepsake we have of her.\u201d<\/p>\n Chewing on the inside of his mouth, Henry considered this for a moment, then went to stand next to Ben and pointed a finger at the crack. \u201cHow comes it\u2019s broken?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause sometimes accidents happen.\u201d Ben put the bowl back on the table and ruffled Henry\u2019s hair. \u201cIt happened long ago, when your father was still a child, and Hoss was even younger than you are now. To this day I still don\u2019t know how exactly the bowl broke, but it isn\u2019t important anyway. What is important is what happened after that.\u201d<\/p>\n Henry, ever eager to hear stories from his father\u2019s past, managed to wriggle himself into the chair next to his grandfather and looked up at him expectantly. \u201cAnd what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAs I said, it happened a long time ago, almost the same time of year as now. We had settled down on the Ponderosa only months before and were living in a small cabin I built where this house now stands. Hoss was only three, and while I was away setting traps or hunting, Adam looked after him. Winter was meagre time, though, for trappers. We mostly lived from what I managed to hunt. One day, I had a particularly hard time finding any game, but the air smelled like a blizzard was on its way, and I needed to stock up our provisions in case we got snowed in. So I stayed out until the waning daylight made hunting impossible. When I finally got home, it was uncommonly quiet in the cabin\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n The broken sugar bowl was the first thing Ben saw when he entered the cabin. Inger\u2019s sugar bowl. Broken. It sat in the middle of the table where it wasn\u2019t supposed to, and it was broken. Someone had glued it back together, but the crack was unmissable. It split the bowl in two, was uneven where shards were missing.<\/p>\n Ben felt his temper rising. Had he not expressly forbidden Adam to use the bowl? Had he not made clear how precious their little belongings were to them? How important it was to keep everything in good condition? How dear that bowl was to him? To Hoss?<\/p>\n And then the door to the bedroom the boys shared opened and Adam tiptoed out of the room, carefully closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat have you done?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam jumped at Ben\u2019s address, but as he turned he smiled tentatively. \u201cPa! I didn\u2019t hear you. I put Hoss to bed, he just fell asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis early?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s smile fell. \u201cHe\u2019d been crying a lot. I guess it tired him out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCrying a lot?\u201d Ben snorted. \u201cYes, I suppose I know why he cried.\u201d He made a gesture towards the table. \u201cThat sugar bowl is the only thing he\u2019s left of his mother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI tried to put it back together,\u201d Adam said. \u201cBut I had only flour to cook glue; I don\u2019t think it\u2019ll keep long. Perhaps we can try it again with something better.\u201d<\/p>\n That calmness. That utter lack of\u2026remorse. Ben could barely keep himself from shaking the boy. \u201cSomething better would have been not to break the bowl in the first place. Why did you take it out anyway? I told you not to use it, haven\u2019t I? There are two things, Adam, two things you\u2019re not allowed to fiddle around with: the music box and this sugar bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut, Pa\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat else do you do when I\u2019m not here? Do you obey the rules at all? Or are you just doing as you please?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut, Pa, I didn\u2019t disobey\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you did!\u201d He was barely controlling his anger, just enough to keep his voice down so he wouldn\u2019t wake Hoss, but he growled now, low but threatening, and it felt good. \u201cLike back then when you made Inger give you the music box. You thought you were clever, you thought I would not find out, and then you\u2026you\u2026you broke it! Broke the last thing we have left of her, stealing your brother his only heirloom\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared at him, stricken, his mouth half open as if there were a reply on his tongue he was afraid to let out. But still, there was more shock than regret in the boy\u2019s face, and that fuelled Ben\u2019s anger to a point even in his rage he knew was unreasonable\u2014and unjust.<\/p>\n He took a few deliberate breaths, clenched his fists and opened them a couple of times. Then he was able to speak more calmly. \u201cWe are going to have a necessary talk about this in the barn, first thing tomorrow morning. This breach of trust will not go unpunished. Do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n The shocked look just fell off Adam\u2019s face as it became unreadable. Ben knew that expression. It was deceitful, as it implied blankness but in fact meant Adam was thinking, assessing, making quick decisions.<\/p>\n \u201cI said, do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTomorrow morning, then.\u201d<\/p>\n With that, Ben left the cabin. It was dark outside, but there was an oil lamp in the barn, and that was light enough to chop wood.<\/p>\n And chop wood he did.<\/p>\n He chopped wood until there was not a single tree pit left. And with every log he put on the wood pile, he felt a little calmer, a little less angry.<\/p>\n He remained deeply disappointed. The sugar bowl\u2026 of all the things Adam could have broken, why had it to be that sugar bowl? It had been Inger\u2019s pride; she\u2019d brought the china with her from Sweden and had insisted on taking it to the West. It was her memory of home, and was supposed to be the base of their future household.<\/p>\n From the whole set, only the sugar bowl had survived the travel West, rocky roads, Indian attacks, broken wheels, rock falls, and thieves. It was almost bizarre that the two things he\u2019d left of his wives were two very delicate, fragile porcelain objects.<\/p>\n One of which his son had just broken, apparently without any remorse.<\/p>\n But he would take care of that tomorrow. Without fury, but in a way that perhaps would teach Adam what he had done. Until then, his son would have time to consider his misdeeds.<\/p>\n Ben paused after that part of the story, and glanced at Adam. His son\u2019s face was as unreadable as it had been back then when he was a boy, and briefly, Ben wondered if it had been right to relate this particular story to his grandson.<\/p>\n Said grandson chose this very moment to put his oar in. \u201cPapa does the same.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPardon?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cChop wood. When he\u2019s angry. He goes out then and chops wood. I\u2019m not to approach him then until he comes to his senses again, says Mama.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, yes.\u201d Ben bit his lips not to smile too broadly.<\/p>\n Joe, who obviously felt less restraint, guffawed. Hoss reached over and ruffled Henry\u2019s hair. Adam chuckled quietly and said, \u201cDo you now?\u201d while he darted a pointed look at his wife, who just raised an eyebrow and threw him a beaming smile back.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd Mama,\u201d Henry added, obviously warming up to the subject\u2014and the attention, \u201cMama kicks at things.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHenry!\u201d Juliet\u2019s eyebrow rose dangerously, though dropped down just as quickly as Henry bestowed her with his own brand of beaming.<\/p>\n He was wise enough, though, not to dwell further on the subject. Instead he turned to his grandfather, \u201cDid you chop wood all night, Grandpa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d Ben said, happy to take up the thread again, \u201cI did go to bed eventually. Although I didn\u2019t sleep much. Nor did your father apparently.\u201d<\/p>\n In fact, Adam looked almost peaked when he sat down at breakfast. Composed, as usual, and resigned to his fate, but still not like a miscreant, more like a martyr. Unreasonable.<\/p>\n Ben felt new anger rising.<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s face still bore marks of heavy crying, which didn\u2019t make things better. Neither did the fact that the boy refused to eat his porridge or drink his milk. No amount of coaxing brought a single oat into the child\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cAren\u2019t you feeling well?\u201d Ben finally asked.<\/p>\n At that, Hoss broke into tears. \u201cHoss bad,\u201d he choked out.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cCome on, I get you back to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss bad!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood and tried to take the wailing child up. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, you\u2019re just tired.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m gonna read you a story, all right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss break\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShh, be still, I\u2019m\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat in tarnation is going on here?\u201d Ben plucked Hoss from Adam\u2019s arms, and sat down with the boy on his lap. \u201cWhat is going on?\u201d he replied much gentler. \u201cWhy do you think you\u2019re bad?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t do anything,\u201d Adam said hurriedly. \u201cHe\u2019s just\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet your brother answer. Now, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss break bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou broke the sugar bowl?\u201d<\/p>\n A nod.<\/p>\n \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss play.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t mean to, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. He wiped his palm over his face, then rested his head on his fist for a moment. \u201cNo, I am sorry. I shouldn\u2019t have jumped to conclusions.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cBut why didn\u2019t you tell me you didn\u2019t do it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI tried at first, but you wouldn\u2019t listen.\u201d<\/p>\n It was true. He\u2019d been so angry, and he hadn\u2019t listened. But still\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cYou could have told me this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked down. He said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cYou could have told me this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n Again, nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t tan Hoss, please, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n And suddenly everything fell into place.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I won\u2019t\u2026of course I won\u2019t punish Hoss. He didn\u2019t do it on purpose, did he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wouldn\u2019t break something on purpose either.\u201d It came in a very small voice, barely audible, and it broke Ben\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n Of course, Adam wouldn\u2019t do that. Of course, even if Adam had broken the bowl, it would have been an accident.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam. I shouldn\u2019t have\u2026 I know you\u2019re responsible and reliable. I shouldn\u2019t have lashed out at you the way I did. I was\u2026I had a long, hard day, and a very unsuccessful one to boot. Then I came home, and the sugar bowl\u2026 It\u2019s all we have left to remember Inger, and I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut we don\u2019t need the bowl to remember Ma. We got Hoss, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd he was right,\u201d Ben said, reaching for his coffee cup. He took a sip, more to buy time to compose himself than out of necessity. \u201cHow could we forget Inger when we had Hoss who reminded us of her every single moment? So I decided to dispose of the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you didn\u2019t do it,\u201d Henry chimed in.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut how comes the bowl is here?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cTwo weeks later,\u201d he said, \u201con Christmas morning the sugar bowl suddenly was back, standing on the table adorned with a red ribbon and a small fir bough tied to it. Someone,\u201d he gave Adam a pointed look, \u201csomeone rescued it from the litter and properly glued it back together the way it is now. Ever since then we put it on the table at Christmas time.\u201d<\/p>\n Henry nodded. \u201cBecause it still reminds you of Hoss\u2019s mama, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf Hoss\u2019s mama, and of more, Henry. Much more.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben dared another look at Adam, not sure what he expected: the unfathomable expression again or even distress. But he found neither of it on his son\u2019s face. Instead, there was contentment, the twinkle of a half smile in the corner of Adam\u2019s mouth, and he finally realised that he\u2019d been forgiven a long time ago.<\/p>\n Henry picked the snowflake up and sent it on its way around the table again. Through the window Ben saw snow gently falling, the fireplace crackled, baby Florence snuggled even deeper into his embrace, and Hop Sing came from the kitchen bearing a tray with fresh coffee and more biscuits.<\/p>\n Life was good.<\/p>\n![\"34247866xm.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/up.picr.de\/34247866xm.jpg?ssl=1\")
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