![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/up.picr.de\/34247883jo.jpg?ssl=1\")
<\/p>\nSummary:\u00a0 A holiday without memories brings several ideas of how to make it through the season.<\/p>\n
Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0\u00a0 3,675 words<\/p>\n
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Memory<\/b><\/p>\n
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We Remember<\/strong><\/p>\n The front door slammed with enough force to shake the chandelier over the dining table.<\/p>\n Ben opened his mouth to protest but stopped short when it was Jamie\u2014not Joe\u2014who stomped around the corner and dropped heavily into his chair. A quick glance at Candy\u2019s face yielded no clue as to the root cause.<\/p>\n \u201cIs Joe coming in for lunch?\u201d Ben inquired with as light a tone as he could muster.<\/p>\n \u201cNo! And if he does, I\u2019m leaving,\u201d Jamie grumbled while dishing stew into his bowl. \u201cPass the biscuits.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPass the biscuits what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPass the biscuits, please.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s better. Now, to whom do we owe this display of temper?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho do you think? Ol\u2019 bossy boots, that\u2019s who.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben hid a smile behind his napkin. It wasn\u2019t so very long ago that that epithet applied to Adam. Now that ranch operations had fallen to Joe, it appeared he had inherited the nickname as well as the responsibilities. \u201cWhat\u2019s he done to earn your displeasure this time?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe said I could go to Carson City with him when he paid the property taxes tomorrow. Now he says I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t know, or you don\u2019t want to say?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter. Would you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014oh, no,\u201d Ben raised both hands in protest. \u201cI long ago gave up the mediation business. Whatever\u2019s wrong is between you and your brother.”<\/p>\n \u201cJust \u2018cause Joe doesn\u2019t have a life, doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t. I had plans, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ll work it out. Since you aren\u2019t going to Carson tomorrow, you can help me with the books.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2019ll probably come up with somethin\u2019 else for me to do outta pure cussedness.\u201d Jamie caught his father\u2019s raised eyebrow and quickly added, \u201cbut even if he does, I\u2019ll find the time to check those figures for ya.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you. Now, if you\u2019re finished eating you\u2019d better get back to work before Bossy Boots finds your work ethic lacking.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhaa? Oh, funny. Ha ha. See ya later Pa, Candy.\u201d<\/p>\n After Jamie left, Candy retrieved a fresh pot of coffee from the kitchen and filled their cups.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s not wrong, you know. Joe\u2019s been in a piss-poor mood for weeks now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d Ben sighed. \u201cI expected last December to be hard as it was the first Christmas without Hoss. Instead, telling stories and recalling past holidays healed our open wounds. Tears where shed, of course, but we laughed, too. I think this first year without Alice is going to be far more difficult than I imagined. Has he mentioned her at all?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot once. It\u2019s like he\u2019s shut the door on that part of his life forever.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI would talk to him but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014you\u2019re worried about how he\u2019ll react?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d Ben whispered. \u201cI didn\u2019t stop him from leaving after her funeral for fear I\u2019d do irreparable harm to our relationship if I tried. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d say to him now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll talk to him,\u201d Candy said.<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n Monday, December 15 dawned clear and cold. Too cold to snow, thankfully. Since there was a good two feet of hard-packed snow on Kings Canyon Road down to Carson City, Candy and Joe took the sleigh. Despite fur robes, hats, heavy coats, gloves, and wool mufflers, the two were near frozen when they arrived.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about we stop at Jack\u2019s Bar for a hot toddy before we walk over to the Capitol?\u201d suggested Candy.<\/p>\n \u201cSounds good to me. I need my brain to thaw a bit before I have to deal with bureaucrats.\u201d<\/p>\n The saloon was crowded with businessmen, ranchers, and government employees. Joe put in their order while Candy grabbed a table in the rear, close to the pot belly stove. It wasn\u2019t long before Joe joined him holding two mugs in each hand.<\/p>\n \u201cTwo?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI figured we\u2019d need \u2018em both just to stop our teeth from chattering. You can get the next round.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh yeah, you\u2019ll do real fine at the tax office.\u201d<\/p>\n They were into their second mug when Candy got up to use the privy. On his way back to the table he tapped the bartender for another round and ordered two plates of knockwurst and sauerkraut. When they were finished eating, Candy sat back and started on his third mug.<\/p>\n \u201cI got something to say you\u2019re not going to like, but hear me out, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHelluva way to start a conversation,\u201d Joe mumbled, mopping up the last of the juice on his plate with a crust of sourdough. \u201cLet\u2019s have it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t you ever talk about Alice?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s hand hung above the plate crushing the bread with his fingers until it dripped.<\/p>\n \u201cJamie put you up to this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d Candy watched his friend\u2019s jaw work and knew he was treading on dangerous ground. \u201cYour pa\u2019s worried. You got through the holidays last year by sharing memories of Hoss, and it was tough, but you all made it. Jamie brings up Alice and you bite his head off.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe dropped the bread onto his plate and slowly wiped his hands with his napkin. \u201cI got nothin\u2019 to say.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou were married to Alice. Surely you have something to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hate this season! Auld Lang Syne and all that crap. Don\u2019t you get it? Alice and I never had Thanksgiving or Christmas or birthdays or New Year\u2019s. I met and married her in the spring and she was dead before the snow fell. I got nothing to say because there\u2019s . . . nothing. No holiday memories. No stories to tell.\u201d Joe stood to put on his hat and coat. \u201cEveryone had better back off or, I swear to God, I\u2019ll\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014what? Run away?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t push me.\u201d<\/p>\n With that, Joe drained his mug and said, \u201cI\u2019ll be back in an hour. Be here or I\u2019m leaving without you.\u201d<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n Candy thought over what Joe had said. However brief his own marriage to Ann had been, there were moments that, when woven together, made a life worth remembering. He was sure Joe had similar memories, but wouldn\u2019t bring them to mind.<\/p>\n Auld lang syne.<\/p>\n An idea flickered. He threw some bills on the table to cover the food and drinks, donned his coat, and walked down the street to the dry goods store across from the Capitol. A clerk greeted him as soon as the bell jingled.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I help you, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs Hy in today? Tell him Candy needs a word.\u201d<\/p>\n Hyman Olcovich came through a curtain at the back of the store as soon as he heard he was wanted.<\/p>\n \u201cHanukkah Sameach! Come, come, my friend.\u201d He waved his hand in circles beckoning Candy into the backroom, where a mug of strong black coffee was thrust into one hand and a plate of latkes with applesauce into the other. Despite Candy\u2019s protest that he had just eaten, the aroma overcame his reluctance and he devoured the fried potato pancakes.<\/p>\n As Candy was more apt to visit Virginia City than Carson City, it had been a couple of months since he had seen his friend. They finished exchanging family news and local gossip when Hy commented on Alice Cartwright\u2019s passing.<\/p>\n \u201cSuch a tragedy. A life hardly begun. How is your Joseph coping?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot well. Christmas came too soon on the heels of her death. That\u2019s why I\u2019m here. I need to ask you something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course. How can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I was in the Army, one of the men in my unit was Jewish. I recall him saying a man doesn\u2019t really die until his name is no longer spoken.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes. I believe that who we are lives on in those that remember us, as long as we are remembered.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe and Alice didn\u2019t have much time together. There are things he never knew about her and that\u2019s weighing heavy on him this season when so much stock is put in memories.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you want to help, of course. Let me tell you what I would do.\u201d As Hy talked, Candy began plotting. Before long, it was time to return to Jack\u2019s Bar to meet Joe. On the way out the door, Hy thrust a box of sufganiyot into Candy\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n \u201cSufa\u2014what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDonuts stuffed with jam. It\u2019s tradition!\u201d Hy laughed. \u201cMay you be blessed with gifts of love, peace, and happiness this Hanukkah season and well into the New Year! And may Joseph be reminded of the importance of faith, which is the light that guides us through tough times.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, my friend. Happy Hanukkah to you and your family!\u201d<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n There were 10 days left until Christmas. Candy brought the family, including Hop Sing, into the plan hatched with Hyman\u2019s help. Part One involved everyone agreeing that there would be no more talk about Alice or Christmas preparations in order to give Joe respite from the relentless holiday cheer he found so oppressive. Even so, each day was a whirlwind of activity. Cookies were baked, decorations were found, presents were wrapped\u2014all out of sight of Joe, or so they thought.<\/p>\n Part Two would not be a problem as Joe had not attended church since Alice\u2019s death.<\/p>\n At the end of the service, on Sunday, December 21, the Reverend said, \u201cBefore I deliver the Benediction, would those friends of Joe and Alice Cartwright who are here today please remain in your seats after the service for a special announcement. And now, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n The family was surprised, but pleased, at how many people stayed. Candy, Ben, and Jamie rose from the front pew and stood before the congregation.<\/p>\n \u201cFolks, I\u2019ll be brief,\u201d Candy began. \u201cAlice died a few months ago after a very short-lived marriage to Joe. What we\u2019re asking is for those of you who were her friends, worked with her, or knew her and Joe as a couple, to please share a memory of her in this journal.\u201d Candy raised a leather-bound book over his head. \u201cMaybe you encountered her in passing or had only a brief acquaintance, but if there is some impression of her or a moment you shared, please write it in here. Your message doesn\u2019t have to be long, or eloquent\u2014just heartfelt.\u201d<\/p>\n A young woman raised her hand. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s your name, dear?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n \u201cMissy . . . Melissa Bergen. I worked with Alice at the dress shop.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you for asking, Miss Bergen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can call me Missy, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll right, Missy. I\u2019m happy to explain. Joseph\u2019s mother died when he was very young, too young to remember her as time passed. What has kept his mother\u2019s memory alive for him are the stories his brothers and I related repeatedly as he was growing up. I would bet that today he would be hard pressed to distinguish between a real memory and one that had been told so many times that it became a part of him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked out over the congregation and saw nods and smiles as people recalled similar experiences in their own family. \u201cAlice died in a fire that consumed their home. All their possessions, the mementos of their short life together were destroyed. As you can imagine, this first Christmas is very difficult for Joseph. Our hope is that your shared memories of his wife in this journal will give him something tangible to hold and cherish.\u201d<\/p>\n Candy moved forward. \u201cThere is a sheet of paper in the vestibule for you to list your name and address so that we can circulate the book as quickly as possible. As you know, Christmas is close upon us and we would like to give it to Joe on Christmas Day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMay I suggest,\u201d said Reverend Thompson, \u201cthat folks go home and think through what they want to say, and then come to the church any time between now and Christmas Eve services to enter their remembrance into the journal. Will that work, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a wonderful idea, Reverend. Is that acceptable?\u201d asked Ben of the congregation, who readily agreed.<\/p>\n \u201cJust a reminder, this is a secret project,\u201d Candy added. \u201cPlease don\u2019t mention it to Joe if you see him.\u201d<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n After dinner Sunday night, Joe dropped a bombshell.<\/p>\n \u201cI appreciate what you\u2019ve all done this last week.\u201d<\/p>\n Jamie, Candy, and Ben\u2019s eyes shifted from one to the other.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d they asked.<\/p>\n Joe looked pointedly at Candy. \u201cLeaving me be, not pushing.\u201d The corner of his mouth quirked upward, and he mouthed \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAny time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut it\u2019s not fair to you, all of you, to forego your holiday because of me. So, unpack the decorations, break out the eggnog, and string the popcorn.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful, son! I\u2019m so happy you are ready to share Christmas with us.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe held up his hand. \u201cNo. I\u2019m going away for a few days so you can enjoy the holiday as you\u2019re meant to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut, Joe, it wouldn\u2019t be Christmas without you here,\u201d protested Jamie.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be back in the new year. You\u2019ll have a much happier holiday without ol\u2019 Scrooge around.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s thoughts were conflicted about how to respond. At last he said simply, \u201cWhatever you need, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n The depth of anguish in his father\u2019s voice tore at Joe, but he said only, \u201cI\u2019ll be seeing you then. Good night.\u201d<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t wait for morning. When everyone had turned in, he exited his room quietly carrying only his saddlebags packed with toiletries, a change of clothes and extra socks. He stopped by the kitchen to fill an empty flour sack with a pound of Arbuckle\u2019s, a slab of bacon, beans, and hard tack before heading to the barn. Cochise received a rub down and an extra measure of grain, but it was a newly-broke mare that Joe rode out of the yard while leading a pack horse loaded with gear and provisions.<\/p>\n It was the first time in months he didn\u2019t feel like he had to put on a false face.<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n On Monday, gloom settled over the ranch house when the inhabitants realized Joe had indeed left. Aside from chores and half-hearted efforts at busy work, the morning was a bust as everyone moped about lost in their own thoughts.<\/p>\n At lunch, a debate ensued over the ambiguity of number 3 son\u2019s words. What did he mean by \u201csee you soon\u201d? Was \u201cthen\u201d in \u201ca few days\u201d or in \u201cthe new year\u201d? And did \u201cNew Year\u201d mean next week? Or some future date next year?<\/p>\n Eventually Ben put a stop to the discussion. \u201cEnough!\u201d he slapped his palms on the table. \u201cJoseph will return when he\u2019s ready, not before. Meanwhile, we have work to do. Hop Sing, start your cooking. Jamie and I will decorate the house. Candy, go find us a tree. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.\u201d<\/p>\n There was an ache in their hearts for their missing family member, but they all had experiend love and loss, and learned that life went on.<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s original intention had been to ride up to the \u201chappy place\u201d he shared with Hoss, but when the mountain trails proved impassable and the danger of an avalanche evident, he kept to lower elevations, meandering with no set purpose in mind, content to let the availability of game dictate his path.<\/p>\n One day he shot the biggest jack rabbit he\u2019d ever seen and shared his meal with a trapper he\u2019d met when harvesting ice for fresh water. The old man contributed a bottle of whiskey to their feast and Joe spent a pleasant evening listening to his companion\u2019s reminiscences of happier days in distant places. Jed claimed to have known Daniel Boone and Kit Carson, and to have trapped the Rocky Mountains with Jim Bridger. Thanks to Adam\u2019s history lessons, these and other personages peppered throughout Jed\u2019s tales were familiar.<\/p>\n Advancing age and crippling arthritis had curtailed the old man\u2019s activities, but he swore he\u2019d never leave the Sierra Nevadas. Joe didn\u2019t know about the rest of it, but that much was true. At dawn he discovered Jed had died in his sleep. Digging a grave in frozen ground was not an option. It took Joe all morning to move enough rock for a cairn to cover the body.<\/p>\n He had just finished wedging a rough-hewn wooden cross into a crevice between stones when his mare snorted, ears faced forward, and her flanks quivered. Joe pulled his Winchester from its scabbard and removed the safety. He had no intention of becoming some cougar\u2019s dinner.<\/p>\n Jed\u2019s death and a jittery horse affected him more than he wanted to admit. After searching the terrain at length for movement and seeing nothing untoward, Joe mounted and grabbed the pack horse\u2019s lead hoping to reach the valley before nightfall.<\/p>\n Joe felt a sense of relief when lantern light from farms near Genoa became visible in the growing twilight, but when the trail evened out, his mare was again on high alert. Joe tensed until he heard what she had. Whinnying. She whinnied back. In the sagebrush up ahead, he saw a small herd of wild horses. Out front was a black stallion who faced them head on.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, well. A stud\u2019s come to claim you, has he.\u201d<\/p>\n The mare tossed her head and nickered.<\/p>\n The standoff lasted perhaps five minutes before Joe relented. He dismounted and removed his saddle and tack, placing them on the ground. \u201cGo on, girl. Go back to your family,\u201d he said as he slapped her rump.<\/p>\n Whatever you need, Joseph.<\/p>\n He thought he needed to be alone. Envying the mare\u2019s joy in returning to the herd, Joe reckoned it was time for him to rejoin his own family.<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n Joe walked into the ranch house and stared in wonder. From the red chair, Candy looked up from his book, his father rounded the corner from the study, Jamie galloped down the stairs, and Hop Sing padded in from the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cHey partner, about time you showed up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWelcome home, son.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMerry Christmas, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Bewildered, Joe walked over to the fireplace and ran his hand along the mantle from which hung filled stockings. He crossed over to the tree and fingered the unlit candles fastened to each branch. He glanced down at the piles of unopened presents on top of the tree skirt his mother had made.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat day is it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFebruary 20,\u201d answered Jamie.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t have Christmas?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNope. We decided to wait for you, partner.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat if I hadn\u2019t returned until summer?\u201d<\/p>\n Shuddering at the thought, Ben said, \u201cWe would have waited no matter how long it took, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut the tree would have died!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019d have replaced it. In fact, we did . . . twice already,\u201d said Jamie.<\/p>\n \u201cWe live in a forest, you know,\u201d Candy added, bemused at his friend\u2019s confusion.<\/p>\n ~~~~~<\/p>\n Somehow, Hop Sing created a feast with no advance notice and they all insisted he eat in the dining room with them.<\/p>\n The conversation was lively, and although Joe did not contribute often, he didn\u2019t walk away either. Ben gazed across the table at him sitting in Adam\u2019s chair listening and observing, and marveled again how like his first born Joe had become, not only in regard to his role in the family, but his temperament also. He raised his glass.<\/p>\n \u201cTo my sons, those here in body and those in spirit, and to those who have become family and are worth more than all the silver in the Comstock.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHear, hear!\u201d everyone chimed in.<\/p>\n Before they adjourned to the great room to open presents, Candy pulled a small package from his vest and handed it to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cFrom all of us, and many others.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s brow furrowed. He looked to his father who nodded. Jamie and Hop Sing were smiling as well.<\/p>\n \u201cOkaaay.\u201d He pulled the ribbon and the wrapping paper fell away. Inside was a gold-leafed leather-bound journal. The front cover was embossed with one word: Alice.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s heart raced. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly hoping to steady his trembling hands. As he thumbed through the pages, stopping here and there just long enough to read a sentence or two, he understood the precious gift he’d been given. At the end, there was a poem and Joe read it carefully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n We Remember Them<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.<\/p>\n At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.<\/p>\n At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.<\/p>\n At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.<\/p>\n At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.<\/p>\n At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.<\/p>\n As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.<\/p>\n When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them.<\/p>\n When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them.<\/p>\n When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them.<\/p>\n When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them.<\/p>\n When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them.<\/p>\n For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The family held their collective breath, unable to interpret Joe\u2019s reaction. Had they crossed a line?<\/p>\n Joe wiped his cheeks with the pad of his thumb, then closed the book and placed his hand over the embossing. For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll read this in private if you don\u2019t mind. But first . . . I\u2019d like to tell you about a man named Jed.\u201d<\/p>\n *****The End*****<\/p>\n Poem by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer<\/em><\/p>\n Click here for the 2018 Advent Calendar – Day 16 – Card Trick aka The Card Trick Quilt<\/span> <\/a>by<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n
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