{"id":19450,"date":"2019-01-28T23:21:24","date_gmt":"2019-01-29T04:21:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=19450"},"modified":"2026-06-07T13:07:06","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T17:07:06","slug":"convergence-by-jc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=19450","title":{"rendered":"Convergence (by JC)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Three years ago Adam left the Ponderosa for parts unknown, and now Ben finally gets the news he has been praying for \u2013 his firstborn is coming home. However, an unexpected reunion in Stockton isn\u2019t the only surprise fate has in store for the Cartwrights. (A Bonanza\/Big Valley story written for the 2018 Crossover Challenge, better late than never, and also sequel to More Than a Memory<\/a><\/em> which I encourage you to read first.)<\/p>\n

Rating: T\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a035,257 words<\/p>\n

More Than a Memory series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

More Than a Memory\u00a0<\/a>
\nConvergence\u00a0<\/a>
\nFrom Shadows<\/a>
\nThese are the Days<\/a>
\nBitter, Sweet, Wonderful Everything<\/a>
\nThe Homecoming — Requiem<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

convergence<\/strong><\/p>\n

noun <\/em>| con*ver*gence | \\(k\u01ddn-\u2018v\u01ddr-j\u01ddn(t)s)\\
\n: the process of coming together toward a common point<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PROLOGUE:<\/em><\/strong>
\n\u00a0<\/em>
\nStockton, California<\/em>
\nMay 1868<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMore coffee, gentlemen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot for me, thank you.\u201d Ben Cartwright smiled. The pretty blonde waitress had included him in the question but clearly she was addressing Joe, who rewarded her with his patented grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither; I\u2019m full up. That was a delicious breakfast, by the way. It\u2019s Holly, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

She dimpled in response.\u00a0 \u201cAt your service. We also serve lunch and dinner. I work the evening shift, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll remember that.\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes lingered on her as she walked away, his admiring expression hinting at an appetite not sated by food.<\/p>\n

Ben watched him over his cup, amused and contemplative.\u00a0 Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, young man. One of these days you\u2019ll find yourself an *old* man wondering where the years have gone.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cReady, Pa?\u00a0 We should probably be heading over to the bank.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben paid the bill and joined him on the sidewalk outside the hotel restaurant, relishing the day\u2019s warmth as they crossed the street. It had been a cold spring in Nevada, following on the heels of an unusually bitter winter, and his seventy-year-old bones were just beginning to thaw.\u00a0 He had dreaded the trip to California but admittedly the change of scenery and climate both agreed with him.\u00a0 Beyond that, it had been a productive and insightful outing with Joe. Ben had watched with pride as his youngest son negotiated a new timber contract with the railroad and also the purchase of a prize bull from the Barkley ranch. In the absence of his oldest brother, Joe had matured into a capable Ponderosa foreman with a shrewd head for business over the past three years. Adam would have been impressed.<\/p>\n

A woman and a little girl exited the bank as they arrived. \u00a0The toe of Ben\u2019s boot brushed something in the doorway\u2014a doll.\u00a0 He picked it up and called after them.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, young lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

The two turned around.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould this be yours?\u201d\u00a0 Ben stooped down until he was nearly nose to nose with the child, who appeared to be around four years old.\u00a0 A pair of solemn hazel eyes fringed with dark lashes met his.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Adaline, you must be more careful with Lucy,\u201d said the woman.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you say to the nice gentleman?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d said the girl, hugging the doll.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re very welcome,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome along, sweetheart.\u00a0 Aunt Fi is waiting,\u201d said the woman. She smiled at Ben, \u201cThank you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

He tipped his hat. The little girl waved, the corners of her mouth turning up in a way that made his heart ache.\u00a0 \u201cBeautiful child,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeautiful lady,\u201d said Joe, smiling. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll say one thing for Stockton. It may not as big as Virginia City, but there sure are some pretty women in this town.\u201d \u00a0He glanced over at his father. \u201cSomething the matter, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just thinking about Adam, and how long it\u2019s been.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe put a hand on his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s been on my mind too, but it won\u2019t be much longer according to his telegram.\u201d<\/p>\n

There had been a few short letters, vague and general, not surprisingly. \u00a0Adam was Adam, and he did things his own way, in his own time.\u00a0 He was not a man to be pushed, though sometimes instead of pushing back he would pull away, allowing you to think you\u2019d won the battle until you realized you\u2019d lost the war. That was why Ben hadn\u2019t pressed him that day. There were no words to change the fact of his leaving. Though the farewells were casual, Ben\u2019s heart dropped like a stone in the sea as he watched him ride away, not knowing when or if he would ever return.<\/p>\n

It had been three years since he\u2019d seen his oldest son\u2019s face. What changes would he read there? Had the years been kind to him? Would his return be permanent?\u00a0 Speculation and worry aside, only one thing really mattered.<\/p>\n

At least for now, the prodigal was coming home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapt<\/strong>er One <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is some place, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Joe murmured as they waited on the porch of the Barkley mansion. \u201cI feel almost like I\u2019m standing at the edge of the Pearly Gates.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben answered with a soft grunt. The porch spanned the entire front of the house, with a roof supported by four massive white columns two stories high. The ground floor windows were over six feet tall and flanked with shutters. It was an impressive edifice, indeed, though a little ostentatious for his taste. Footsteps echoed from behind the door.\u00a0 \u201cI think maybe I hear Saint Peter coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

A butler attired in a white jacket and dark pants greeted them. \u201cMay I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Joe Cartwright and this is my father.\u00a0 I believe we\u2019re expected.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir. This way.\u201d<\/p>\n

The butler led them through the entryway past a grand staircase into a large parlor.\u00a0 \u201cYou can wait here. I’ll get Mr. Jarrod.”<\/p>\n

They gave him their hats and seated themselves in the ornately carved red velvet chairs near the fireplace.\u00a0 A moment later, Jarrod Barkley emerged through a door on the other side of the foyer.<\/p>\n

\u201cGentlemen, welcome! Sorry to keep you waiting, but I seem to have misplaced something.\u00a0 It\u2019s not in the library; perhaps it\u2019s out here, but if not, I don\u2019t know where it could be. Would you mind helping me look for it?\u201d\u00a0 He winked, inclining his head toward the wavering window curtain.<\/p>\n

Ben and Joe grinned.\u00a0 \u201cCertainly,\u201d said Ben. \u201cThis thing you\u2019re looking for, does it like to chase cats and dig up bones?\u201d<\/p>\n

The curtain giggled softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d said Jarrod.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes it give milk and say moo?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

Another giggle, a little louder this time.<\/p>\n

\u201cDefinitely not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow big is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019d say around three and half feet; 35, maybe 40 pounds.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Ben\u2019s turn again. \u201cIs it valuable?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery much so; in fact, it\u2019s one of a kind.\u201d<\/p>\n

A flash of green calico caught Ben\u2019s eye, and he smiled.\u00a0 \u201cDoes it like to wear pretty dresses and play with dolls?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes on both counts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt sounds like we might be looking for a little girl, is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely. Though I can\u2019t imagine where she could have gotten to.\u00a0 You know, it\u2019s getting a little stuffy in here, don\u2019t you agree?\u00a0 I think I\u2019ll open a window.\u201d\u00a0 Jarrod pulled back the curtain to reveal the source of the giggles. \u201cWell, bless my soul!\u00a0 I was beginning to think we\u2019d lost you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She grinned. \u201cI\u2019m really good hider.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou certainly are.\u201d \u00a0He scooped her up, eliciting a delighted squeal. \u201cI want you to say hello to our guests. This is Mr. Cartwright and his son, Joe. Gentlemen, Miss Adaline Dolan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa, what do you know? \u00a0It\u2019s the little girl from the bank.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo it is. I recognized Lucy right away,\u201d Ben replied, referring to the doll in her arms. She returned his smile before being distracted by someone calling her name.<\/p>\n

A woman entered the room. \u201cThere you are! I\u2019m sorry, Jarrod. I hope she hasn\u2019t been a bother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all; we were just playing hide and seek.\u201d He set Adaline on her feet and patted her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cUncle Jarrod said I\u2019m a good hider.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUncle Jarrod is very kind, and busy, it seems. I\u2019m sure his guests didn\u2019t come here to play games with a little girl.\u201d \u00a0Her tone was gentle but firm.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, we didn\u2019t mind at all, ma\u2019am,\u201d Joe assured her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a matter of fact, we enjoyed it,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWe don\u2019t often get the opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou two were at the bank this morning. This is quite a coincidence, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Thank you again for rescuing Lucy.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what we would do without her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a privilege to help such lovely ladies,\u201d said Ben.\u00a0 He had to agree with Joe\u2019s earlier assessment.\u00a0 She was indeed a fetching young woman, though her blue eyes and chestnut hair were not reflected in her daughter\u2019s dark features, no doubt inherited from her father.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, this is a small world, isn\u2019t it,\u201d mused Jarrod. \u201cAs I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve guessed this is Adaline\u2019s mother. Moira, this is Ben Cartwright and his son Joe, from Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her smile seemed to fade after the pleasantries.\u00a0 \u201cNevada, you said?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, they have a ranch there. In fact, they\u2019re buying a bull from Nick.\u201d He turned to Joe. \u201cI\u2019m sorry he\u2019s not here; he was called away unexpectedly. He left the bill of sale for you since he\u2019ll be gone this evening. You are staying for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe it was mentioned. If it\u2019s not too much trouble, we\u2019d love too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Mother is counting on it. She\u2019ll be home shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira took Adaline\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019ll excuse us, gentlemen, we\u2019ll leave you to your business now.\u201d<\/p>\n

She left the room quickly without meeting their eyes, ushering her daughter up the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs she all right?\u201d asked Ben.\u00a0 \u201cShe looked a little pale.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI imagine she\u2019s just tired. Adaline takes up a lot of her energy, not because she\u2019s unruly, but because she\u2019s four.\u201d Jarrod smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re wondering about them.\u00a0 Moira\u2019s older sister, Fiona, has been a friend of the family for many years. Moira came here after her husband died, just before Adaline was born. When Adaline was very young, both women became ill, and we took care of her here for several weeks.\u00a0 Naturally, we all fell in love with her.\u00a0 She\u2019s sort of been ours ever since. Unfortunately, Fiona\u2019s health never fully recovered, and if something were to happen to Moira, she wouldn\u2019t be able to care for Adaline.\u00a0 Since her father had no family, I\u2019m to be her guardian in that event.\u00a0 I pray it never happens, but I do nonetheless regard her with a father\u2019s affection.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo they live here now?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly for the time being; their house is undergoing some extensive repairs after a recent fire. Thank goodness no one was hurt. Fiona is here too, but right now she\u2019s out with my mother paying a call on a neighbor. And in answer to your unspoken question, Moira and I are not romantically involved. \u00a0She\u2019s more like a sister to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grinned. \u201cSo you\u2019re saying there\u2019s a chance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t go that far,\u201d Jarrod warned him good-naturedly.\u00a0 \u201cShe has resisted the attentions of several eligible bachelors in this town, though there is one who refuses to give up. Fiona thinks she might actually be softening, but I\u2019m not sure I agree. At any rate, you\u2019ll be able to judge for yourself, since he\u2019ll be here for dinner as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like an interesting evening ahead,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould be,\u201d Jarrod shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cOne never knows around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

There were nine dining at the Barkley table that evening, with Victoria holding court at the head like a benevolent dictator. Ben was seated on her left, and she devoted much of her attention to him. He had only met her once, when he and Adam purchased breeding stock from her husband Tom, shortly before his death. She was a hospitable hostess even then, he recalled. As far as he could tell she hadn\u2019t changed all that much in the intervening years, except that her brown hair had mellowed into a silvery white that seemed almost incongruent with the youthful face beneath it.<\/p>\n

Fiona Worthington sat across from Ben.\u00a0 She appeared to be several years older than Moira and frail in comparison, though they shared the same delicate features. \u00a0During the introductions, Victoria indicated that their husbands had been fast friends. \u00a0It was obvious the women shared a similar friendship.\u00a0 Adaline sat between her aunt and her mother, across from Joe and Audra, Victoria\u2019s daughter. Mark Van Alstyne, the other invited guest, had the chair next to Moira, with Jarrod occupying the seat at the far end.<\/p>\n

Van Alstyne had served in the California regiment during the war, and he still had the bearing of a military man. \u00a0A strong chin and wide set eyes combined to form a handsome face, while his genteel manner and courteous attention to the ladies suggested a refined upbringing.\u00a0 He was clearly enamored with Moira, but perhaps Jarrod had been right about Fiona\u2019s \u201cwishful thinking,\u201d for she gave no indication that the feeling was returned.\u00a0 She was polite and nothing more.\u00a0 In fact, she seemed distracted throughout the meal, and not just by Adaline.\u00a0 If Ben was any judge, Moira Dolan was a troubled young woman.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, Adaline appeared to be in high spirits as she and Joe made funny faces at each other. Their antics made Ben smile. She caught him watching her and grinned. He winked at her, and she winked back.<\/p>\n

Audra leaned over to address him. \u00a0\u201cWe\u2019re so glad you and Joe could join us for dinner, Mr. Cartwright, especially since Nick and Heath aren\u2019t here.\u00a0 Mother doesn\u2019t like empty places at the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAudra, don\u2019t make it sound as though they\u2019re merely seat warmers,\u201d Victoria scolded. \u201cI had no idea the boys wouldn\u2019t be here until after the invitation was extended.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean it that way, really.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo need to apologize,\u201d said Ben, smiling his reassurance. \u201cI don\u2019t like empty places at my table either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never really get used to it, do you?\u201d Victoria regarded him with empathy.\u00a0 \u201cHow long has Adam been away?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNick was gone for two years during the war. It was a choice, and I supported him because it was what he wanted.\u00a0 But sending him off without letting him see how I really felt was one of the hardest things I\u2019ve ever done.\u201d She sighed.\u00a0 \u201cIf it hadn\u2019t been the war, it likely would have been something else. He was always restless, even as a boy.\u00a0 But when he came home, he seemed more settled, more at peace with his life.\u00a0 And nothing had really changed except his perspective. Perhaps the same thing will happen with Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so.\u00a0 Adam had his reasons for leaving, and when he makes up his mind to do something, he doesn\u2019t do it halfway, so I don\u2019t really know what to expect in the long term.\u00a0 But according to his last telegram he intends to come home in the not too distant future.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt could be sooner rather than later,\u201d said Jarrod.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam wired me from San Francisco last week to tell me he\u2019s planning to stop here on his way to Nevada to discuss some investments we have in common. Of course, he has no idea you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen do you expect him?\u201d asked Ben, trying not to sound too eager.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t say exactly, but it could be any day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Ben had time to digest this surprising news, Moira dropped her glass, spilling the contents on the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I\u2019m terribly sorry,\u201d she stammered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo need to fret; it\u2019s only water,\u201d Victoria assured her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, let me.\u201d Audra used her napkin to soak up the spill. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, really.\u201d<\/p>\n

The distress in Moira\u2019s face showed otherwise as she stood up. \u201cPlease excuse me. I \u2026\u201d She turned and fled the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cDear me,\u201d said Fiona, rising to follow. \u201cI\u2019d better see to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMama?\u201d<\/p>\n

Their attention was diverted to Adaline, who looked like she was going to cry.<\/p>\n

\u201cDarling, don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m sure everything is all right.\u201d Victoria moved to the seat next to her and pulled the child onto her lap. \u201cAudra, there is a plate of cookies on the sideboard.\u00a0 Would you bring them over here, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

A moment later, tears abated, Adaline found solace in sugar and spice. \u201cSilas made those especially for you,\u201d said Victoria. \u00a0\u201cAnd tomorrow we\u2019ll have cake and ice cream for your birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTomorrow\u2019s your birthday?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really,\u201d she confessed between nibbles.<\/p>\n

\u201cHer birthday was actually last month, but she had the measles,\u201d Victoria explained. \u201cShe was a very sick little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe thought for a while she might leave us,\u201d said Jarrod quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t remember,\u201d said Adaline, unperturbed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then there was the fire,\u201d Audra reminded them.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but that\u2019s all behind us now, and tomorrow we\u2019re going to celebrate, aren\u2019t we?\u201d\u00a0 Victoria gave Adaline an affectionate squeeze.<\/p>\n

She bobbed her head in enthusiastic agreement. \u201cGod is good.\u00a0 That\u2019s what Mama says.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour mama\u2019s right,\u201d said Ben, smiling.<\/p>\n

Fiona returned to convey Moira\u2019s regrets. She had retired for the evening with a headache. Mark Van Alstyne looked sorely disappointed.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome along, Adaline; it\u2019s past your bedtime,\u201d said Fiona. \u201cI think I\u2019ll turn in as well.\u00a0 It was lovely meeting you, gentlemen,\u201d she said to the Cartwrights, who had risen in unison when she entered the room.<\/p>\n

After the exchange of goodnights and farewells, Adaline took the proffered hand and walked with her aunt toward the stairs, before running back to whisper something in Victoria\u2019s ear. \u201cI think that\u2019s a wonderful idea, but wouldn\u2019t you like to ask them yourself? No? All right, then.\u201d She addressed Ben and Joe. \u201cAdaline would like it very much if you would come to her party tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d be delighted, wouldn\u2019t we, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned. \u201cAbsolutely. I love cake and ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline didn\u2019t say a word.\u00a0 She just smiled and skipped out of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s quite a girl,\u201d Ben laughed. \u201cAnd you make a fine grandmother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe one of these days,\u201d said Victoria.\u00a0 \u201cBut in the meantime, I\u2019m enjoying the practice.\u201d<\/p>\n

That night, back at the hotel with Joe snoring next to him, Ben struggled for sleep. Though his body was willing, his mind was too full, anticipating Adam\u2019s arrival. His last conscious thoughts were of the son he had missed for so long, and afterwards he dreamed he had a houseful of grandchildren. One of them looked a lot like Adaline.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Two<\/strong><\/p>\n

Moira stood at her window watching the red dawn bloom on the horizon. It had become ritual for her, especially since Adaline was born. \u00a0God always seemed nearest in the light of a new day, and it was in those moments of solitude and quiet reflection where she most often found peace.<\/p>\n

But peace would not be found today. It had been shattered by the utterance of a single name. She never imagined it could be so fragile, or that she could be so weak. Had she merely been lying to herself all these years?<\/p>\n

The headache she had feigned the night before was real now, and she massaged her temples to no avail. Adaline would be up soon, excited for her party.\u00a0 This day belonged to her and Moira would not spoil it. Tomorrow was another matter. \u00a0She would have to tell Fi everything. \u00a0Perhaps she had been foolish to think she could keep this secret forever, but it was only for Adaline. \u00a0Fi would certainly understand that, and why they had to go away now.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been waiting all afternoon for a chance to tell you how lovely you look, Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mark was at her elbow. She\u2019d manage to avoid him during the busyness of the birthday festivities, but the party was winding down, leaving her no more excuses.\u00a0 There was a time when she would have warmed to the compliment, but at that moment she was tired and anxious, and his attentions only served to annoy her. She swallowed a sigh and conjured a smile for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. It\u2019s very sweet of you to say, though I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m not at my best after such a long day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was worried about you last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

His earnestness made her regret her irritation. He didn\u2019t deserve it. In fact, he had been nothing but kind and generous to her and Adaline, as Fi had reminded her more than once.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry for being so clumsy and spoiling the evening for everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t spoil anything. I\u2019m just sorry you weren\u2019t feeling well. I never want to see you ill or upset.\u201d He gave her arm a tender squeeze. \u201cYou know how I feel about you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She glanced around the room, trying to catch someone\u2019s\u2014anyone\u2019s\u2014eye. Jarrod offered her the distraction she needed. \u201cWe can\u2019t possibly talk about this now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

Poor, handsome Mark\u2014it wasn\u2019t his fault she didn\u2019t love him.\u00a0 Fi seemed determined to push them together, in spite of her protests.\u00a0 \u201cYou had your once in a lifetime with James, and that makes you luckier than most,\u201d her sister had chided her gently. \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t expect to find it twice. Mark loves you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll learn to love him, and you\u2019ll have a good life, just like I did with Charles.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fi meant well. She had made that choice and it proved enough for her.\u00a0 But Moira was not her sister. She knew what it was like to have more. She was not ready to settle for less.<\/p>\n

Suddenly weary to the point of exhaustion, she left Mark with Jarrod and excused herself to look for Adaline.\u00a0 She found her in the library, curled up in Ben Cartwright\u2019s lap as he read to her, both of them oblivious to the rest of the world. An unexpected wave of emotion gripped her throat at the sight of them together, and she slipped away before they noticed her.<\/p>\n

She made it to the breezeway before the tears came.\u00a0 She had accepted the consequences of a decision deemed necessary, but she had been insulated from the ripple effects until now. Now there were flesh and blood faces and hearts that could be broken. She hadn\u2019t counted on that. God, why did you bring them here? <\/em><\/p>\n

The life she had so carefully constructed for her daughter was built on a lie, however noble it may have seemed. Now it was beginning to crumble.<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fi had found her. She patted her cheeks dry before she turned around and forced a smile.\u00a0 \u201cI was just getting some air. I felt my headache coming on again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour headache wouldn\u2019t have anything to do with the Cartwrights, would it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean you can stop pretending. You haven\u2019t been yourself since they arrived.\u00a0 Last night you nearly fell apart when you heard Adam was coming here, and I\u2019m pretty sure I know why.\u201d She paused, as though she was mentally gathering strength for what she was about to say. \u201cAdam Cartwright is Adaline\u2019s father, isn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira had never told anyone, and it was the first time she had heard the words spoken aloud. A rush of heat from deep inside forced her breath into shallow waves. For a moment she thought she might faint. Fi\u2019s arms came around her and pulled her close.\u00a0 \u201cOh my dear, my dear\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Fi had guessed, but Adam wouldn\u2019t have to.\u00a0 He would know. For that matter, so would anyone with half an eye, if they ever saw them together. And that thought terrified her.<\/p>\n

\u201cFi, what am I going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

At the edge of slumber, Ben sensed a nudge on his shoulder and a warm stirring against his chest. He woke to find Adaline asleep in his arms and Joe smiling down at him. \u201cLooks like you two got pretty comfortable with each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I was more tired than I realized.\u201d\u00a0 He yawned and closed the book they had been reading. \u201cDidn\u2019t mean to fall asleep on the job though. You know, it\u2019s been a long time since I held a little one in my lap like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d say you were a natural.\u201d Victoria had entered the room with Jarrod.<\/p>\n

Nestling closer to him, Adaline seemed to agree.<\/p>\n

\u201cI must say, I don\u2019t know much about little girls, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s not much difference between little girls and little boys at this age. They want and need the same things.\u201d Victoria smiled.\u00a0 \u201cFi asked me to check on Adaline.\u00a0 I can see she has been in good hands. Jarrod can put her to bed in my room for now. Moira is resting. It seems she hasn\u2019t been sleeping well, and I suppose the day caught up with her. She sends her apologies to everyone. Again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear that,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not the only one,\u201d said Jarrod. \u201cMark was disappointed too, especially after dinner last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, perhaps Mark\u2019s expectations are a little too high.\u201d Victoria\u2019s tone was suddenly cool.<\/p>\n

\u201cPossibly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs much as I hate to say this, I think Fi is partly responsible. She is my dearest friend, and we agree on almost everything, but I do not share her opinion of Mark Van Alstyne, and I\u2019ve told her so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark\u2019s not a bad fellow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria raised an eyebrow toward her son.\u00a0 \u201cNow there\u2019s a ringing endorsement. Oh, I\u2019m not impugning the man\u2019s character; I\u2019m just speaking in reference to Moira. You can\u2019t push two people together when they don\u2019t belong, no matter how much you want to.\u00a0 But perhaps I\u2019ve spoken out of turn, and in front of our guests. Please pardon my bluntness.\u00a0 After all, it\u2019s really none of my business.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben suppressed a smile.\u00a0 Victoria Barkley had no qualms about giving her opinion, solicited or not, and was probably more prone to ask forgiveness than permission.\u00a0 Jarrod\u2019s good-natured reaction seemed to confirm it.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Mother dear.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline stirred again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJarrod, why don\u2019t you take her before she wakes up. Put her on my chaise for now.\u201d<\/p>\n

He eased her from Ben\u2019s lap.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Princess.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll stay for dinner?\u201d \u00a0Victoria\u2019s invitation was phrased as much a statement as a question.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s very generous, but we\u2019ve imposed enough already,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense. It\u2019s nowhere near an imposition.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe opened his mouth to speak but Jarrod interjected. \u201cWe\u2019d love to have you, of course, but the weather is turning, and if you\u2019re planning to make it back to town tonight, you should probably leave soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I came in here to tell you,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat said,\u201d Jarrod continued, \u201cyou\u2019re more than welcome to stay the night. We have plenty of room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely,\u201d agreed Victoria.<\/p>\n

Ben stood up and stretched.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t exactly looking forward to the ride back to town, but they had kept the hotel room for a few more days in hopes of meeting Adam. In light of Joe\u2019s ambivalence, he demurred. Victoria didn\u2019t argue.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill we see you again before you leave? Adaline would be disappointed not to say goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cSo would I.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ll be back. And thank you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

On their way to the horses, Joe seemed to read his thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cThat Adaline is a real cutie.\u00a0 She just took right up with you, didn\u2019t she?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben chuckled. \u201cYes. It was a bit of a surprise\u2014not that I minded. I could get used to that, if any of my sons had an inclination to marry and give me a grandchild.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t give up hope yet, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not getting any younger, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s grin faded as he changed the subject. \u201cYou know, I think Mrs. Barkley is right about that Van Alstyne fellow.\u00a0 There\u2019s something about him that seems a little off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just a feeling more than anything, I suppose, just little things, like the way he was watching Moira today when he didn\u2019t know I was there.\u00a0 Not smiling like you would expect; more of a hard expression, nothing like the way he presents himself when you\u2019re talking to him.\u00a0 And Jarrod was wrong when he said Van Alstyne was disappointed when he left.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t see me but I saw him, and he was pure mad, no two ways about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, to be fair, sometimes love can make a man act foolishly, and it seems that he\u2019s in love with Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s not in love with him. You could see that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBe that as it may, Joe, it\u2019s hardly our business. We\u2019ve only just met them. Besides, we have plenty of other things to be concerned with.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s something else, though.\u00a0 Adaline won\u2019t have anything to do with him. What does that tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben hoisted himself into the saddle and directed a stern look toward him. \u201cIt tells me it\u2019s time for us to get back to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, all right.\u201d\u00a0 Joe followed suit, ambling his horse beside Ben\u2019s as they passed through the wide iron gate.<\/p>\n

On the road, Joe pulled up his mount and sniffed the air.\u00a0 \u201cSmell that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben paused next to him, his eyes on the shrouded slopes to the west. \u201cStorm\u2019s coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0Chapter Three<\/strong><\/p>\n

The storm descended on the valley that evening with the fury of Judgment Day.\u00a0 Lightning split the sky as window rattling thunder and moaning winds assaulted the Barkley house, shattering sleep for the inhabitants. Only two were untouched by the uproar outside. Fiona frequently took sleeping drops before retiring, and tonight was no exception.\u00a0 She also added some to the tea she gave Moira, who took them unaware. The rest of the household was wide awake.<\/p>\n

Victoria consoled a fretful Adaline, roused by the din and confused by her whereabouts. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, darling.\u00a0 The worst is over now. Listen, the thunder isn\u2019t so close anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy am I in your room? Where\u2019s Mama?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou fell asleep downstairs this afternoon while your Mama was resting, and we put you in here so we wouldn\u2019t disturb her.\u201d<\/p>\n

She yawned. \u201cIs Mr. Ben still here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo dear, he and Joe went back to town a few hours ago.\u201d\u00a0 They would have had ample time to get back to the hotel before the storm hit, thank goodness.\u00a0\u00a0 To be out on the road on a night like this was an invitation to disaster.\u00a0 Victoria uttered a quick prayer for Nick and Heath, wherever they might be. She\u2019d had no word yet from either of them about when they planned to return. They might not send word at all. As a mother of sons, she had learned to be patient and to expect the unexpected. It didn\u2019t stop her worrying, even when she didn\u2019t let it show.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m hungry,\u201d said Adaline.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t doubt it, since you slept through supper.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go down to the kitchen and see what we can find.\u201d<\/p>\n

Downstairs, lamps burned and a fire glowed in the parlor where Jarrod, still in his day clothes, sat reading.\u00a0 Audra emerged from the kitchen in her robe and slippers. \u201cI couldn\u2019t sleep either. \u00a0I just put a kettle on for tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat sounds lovely to me, but I think this young lady would like something a little more filling since she missed her supper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo would I, actually. Why don\u2019t you help me make some sandwiches?\u00a0 We might even find some leftover birthday cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline\u2019s face brightened as she took Audra\u2019s hand.\u00a0 Victoria smiled and mouthed her thanks to her daughter.<\/p>\n

Jarrod looked up from his book as she approached. \u201cJoin the party.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, I believe I will.\u201d\u00a0 Vicgtoria arranged herself on the sofa and ran a hand through her hair, listening to the rain lash the dining room windows. \u00a0They had leaked badly during the last storm and had to be reset with new frames.\u00a0 \u201cJarrod, did you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI checked them.\u00a0 They\u2019re holding.\u201d<\/p>\n

He kept reading, but she caught the sidelong glance coupled with the boyish grin. She smiled and shook her head. Her oldest son had knack for knowing what she was thinking.<\/p>\n

When she heard the pounding at the door, her heart leaped in her chest.\u00a0 In this weather, at this hour, her first thoughts were of her other sons. It wouldn\u2019t be the first time Nick had taken on a storm to get home.\u00a0 Heath was by nature more cautious.<\/p>\n

She was close behind Jarrod when he unbolted the latch and opened the door enough to peer outside, holding the lamp to illuminate the dripping figure on the porch.\u00a0 She stepped back as he swung it open.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d better get in here before you catch your death,\u201d said Jarrod. \u201cDidn\u2019t anyone teach you not to ride in the rain at midnight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t my intention. \u00a0Sometimes you just get caught.\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice didn\u2019t belong to either of her sons, but it was familiar, and at the throaty chuckle memory clicked even before he removed his poncho.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked apologetically at her and the puddle on the floor. \u201cHello, Mrs. Barkley. I\u2019m sorry for the mess and the lateness of the hour.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither of which matters\u2014the important thing is that you\u2019re safe,\u201d she assured him. \u201cBut Jarrod is right.\u00a0 What on earth were you thinking? Never mind. We need to get you into some dry clothes.\u201d \u00a0Men are such boys sometimes<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I managed to keep my valise dry under the oilcloth, so I shouldn\u2019t need to borrow, if you have a place for me to change.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll put you in Heath\u2019s room. The linens are fresh.\u00a0\u00a0 You can take your boots off down here and leave them by the fire. I\u2019m sure you\u2019re hungry, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, don\u2019t go to any trouble on my account.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAudra\u2019s already making sandwiches; we\u2019ll just make a few more.\u00a0 Now get upstairs and get changed. Jarrod will show you the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned, and even behind the beard the dimples were evident.\u00a0 \u201cYes ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

She hurried to the kitchen where Adaline was finishing a glass of milk. In front of her was a plate of cake crumbs. Victoria eyed her suspiciously. \u201cI hope you had a sandwich first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe both did,\u201d said Audra.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve made one for Jarrod. Would you like one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I\u2019m sure our guest would. Maybe you should make it two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuest?\u00a0 Who\u2019s here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Ben\u2019s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, yes.\u201d Victoria smiled and bit her lip as she studied the earnest upturned face. Adaline\u2019s wide hazel eyes were pools of amber in the lamplight. A gift from her father, her mother once said. \u201cI think it\u2019s time you were back in bed, missy.\u201d<\/p>\n

She yawned in mild protest.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not sleepy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not. You never are,\u201d she laughed. \u201cTell Audra goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

The child was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow, and Victoria was in the parlor with Jarrod and Audra when Adam came down in dry clothes and stocking feet. He was leaner than when she saw him last, and despite the beard and the gray at his temples, he seemed more like the impressive young man she met ten years ago when he accompanied his father to Stockton on a cattle buying trip. He had the same smile, the same laugh; the same soulful, hazel-amber eyes she remembered so clearly.<\/p>\n

Well, Ben, your boy is home, your prayers answered. But you could be getting more than you bargained for.<\/em><\/p>\n

Even Jarrod couldn\u2019t know what she was thinking now.\u00a0 It would certainly explain some things. \u00a0At best it would mean an awkward situation for everyone involved; at worst\u2026tonight\u2019s storm might pale in comparison.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Four<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes dragged open at first light, as he expected.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t seem to matter how tired he was; he rarely slept past sunrise unless he was ill. Though his body protested from the rain-soaked ride of the night before, his mind was already up and running. He rolled over on his back and stretched, engaging every muscle with a deep breath before exhaling.\u00a0\u00a0 Blinking away the last vestiges of sleep, he sat up and rolled the kinks from his bare shoulders, contemplating the day ahead.<\/p>\n

Jarrod\u2019s news that his father and Joe were in town was unexpected. Of course he would be happy to see them, but he had anticipated a more private reunion later on the Ponderosa and would have preferred it. He knew he had bruised his family with his abrupt departure but emotional detachment was his means of survival, especially in the beginning. Easing someone else\u2019s pain at the expense of your own can be a dangerous thing.\u00a0 He\u2019d spent enough time trying to mend broken people, only to be cut by the jagged pieces. For once in his life, he intended to put Adam Cartwright first.<\/p>\n

He hated clich\u00e9s, but some were true to an extent. Time does heal wounds, if not completely, at least to a point where all that remains is an occasional limp or an ache in your bones on a rainy day\u2014an acknowledgement of the fact, but nothing you couldn\u2019t live with or to keep you from happiness.\u00a0 And in the balance of all that he had gained and lost, for the first time in his life, he was truly content.<\/p>\n

He had made other gains as well. His real estate holdings in San Francisco included a twenty percent interest in a hotel that was turning a tidy profit, and he\u2019d just received a generous offer for a buyout. It was one of the things he intended to discuss with Jarrod.\u00a0 But that would keep for another day. There were two other people he needed to see first. If he hurried he might be able to surprise them at breakfast. He threw off the bed covers and dressed quickly.<\/p>\n

His boots and hat were on the parlor hearth where he had left them to dry. \u00a0\u00a0He didn\u2019t see anyone downstairs, so he wrote a note to Jarrod and put it on his desk in the library.<\/p>\n

A creak in the floor made him turn just in time to see a little girl in a nightgown duck behind the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, there.\u201d<\/p>\n

She poked her head out. \u201cI know who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

He leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. \u201cReally?\u00a0 Who am I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re Mr. Ben\u2019s Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

His lips twitched in amusement. \u201cMost people just call me Adam. You must be smarter than I am because I don\u2019t know who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

In front of the door now, she held up her doll.\u00a0 \u201cThis is Lucy.\u201d<\/p>\n

He tipped his hat.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you do, Miss Lucy? It\u2019s lovely to meet you, but isn\u2019t it a little early for you to be up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLucy\u2019s not sleepy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you going to tell me your name?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her nosed crinkled when she smiled. \u201cGuess.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it Hildegarde?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cHortense?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCould it be Rumpelstiltskin?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO,\u201d she giggled.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline!\u201d\u00a0 A voice called from somewhere in the house, and her eyes widened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m guessing that\u2019s you,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to go,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d he whispered back.<\/p>\n

He chuckled as she made a beeline toward the kitchen.\u00a0 Cute kid, wonder who she belongs to.<\/em><\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

The perky blonde waitress at the hotel restaurant was definitely Joe\u2019s type, Adam decided.\u00a0 Yes, she knew the Cartwrights, and no, they hadn\u2019t been down to breakfast yet.\u00a0 He chose a table in the back and asked her to seat them there when they arrived and tell them Mr. Barkley would be joining them shortly. He also had the desk clerk deliver a similar message to their room. Then he waited out of sight.<\/p>\n

They arrived ten minutes later. They didn\u2019t see him, and he\u2019d planned it that way.\u00a0 He had wanted to see them first, to have a moment alone with his own emotions.<\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s silver hair was practically white, his face more lined, his shoulders stooped.\u00a0 Adam had never thought of his father as old before, and it brought tears to his eyes.\u00a0 Had he really aged so much in three years, or did it just seem that way because he hadn\u2019t been there to see the changes as they occurred?<\/p>\n

Joe appeared to have put on a few pounds of muscle, a far cry from the image of the skinny kid brother Adam carried in his mind for so many years. His hair was longer than even the days when Pa used to complain about his looking \u201clike a riverboat gambler.\u201d He still had the same confident swagger, though it seemed to fit him better now.<\/p>\n

Adam waited until they were occupied with their menus before he approached them. Joe saw him first and nearly knocked his chair over getting up to launch himself at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you dog! We thought we were meeting Jarrod, but you set this up, didn\u2019t you? I almost didn\u2019t recognize you with that bush on your face!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well I knew you right away when I saw that green jacket. It\u2019s not the same one, is it?\u201d He grinned, looking him over.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat. Just great,\u201d Joe beamed, his eyes brimming.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHello Pa,\u201d was all he managed to get out before his father embraced him. \u201cMy boy,\u201d he heard him whisper.\u00a0 Adam couldn\u2019t find his voice after that. Maybe it would have been better if he had just gone up to their room instead of meeting them in a public place.\u00a0 Even the waitress was sniffling.<\/p>\n

His father gathered himself first.\u00a0 \u201cYou look well, son. Are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am. And you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t complain.\u201d A broad grin creased his face. \u201cCertainly not today.\u201d<\/p>\n

They sat down together and ordered breakfast. \u201cIt\u2019s a shame Hoss isn\u2019t here,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI guess he got the short straw again?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cNo, I did. But I\u2019m pretty sure the contest was rigged.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss and I both thought the trip would be good for him, but I practically had to hog tie him to get him to come.\u201d Joe wagged a finger at his father.\u00a0 \u201cSee, you should listen to your sons more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I should at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

They all grinned at one another, knowing such a thing was easier said than done.<\/p>\n

\u201cJarrod told me you\u2019re ranch foreman now, Joe. Good for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t suppose I would be, if you had stayed. Of course, if you want the job back, it\u2019s yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you serious?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I\u2019m serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced at his father before answering.\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s a more than generous offer, but I think the best man ought to keep the job.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked surprised.\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were born for it, no question. I knew you\u2019d do it someday.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI told him you would be proud of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am and always have been. Congratulations.\u201d\u00a0 He extended his hand, and Joe gripped it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was one of those moments between brothers when, even with so much left unspoken, nothing more needed to be said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI still can\u2019t believe you\u2019re actually here.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father was looking at him as though he might disappear at any moment. \u201cI know you must have a lot of questions, Pa. I may not have all the answers, not sure you\u2019d want to hear some of them, but you can ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can start with whatever you\u2019re willing to share.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was certain his father wouldn\u2019t want to know how much drinking he\u2019d done that miserable first year while rousting about California. He\u2019d spare all of them that. Instead he focused on his time in Boston with an architectural firm and his burgeoning investments in San Francisco.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt really isn\u2019t all that dramatic or exciting, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d \u00a0He answered their silence with an apology.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry for not writing more often. It was just easier not to.\u201d It sounded unnecessarily selfish when he said it aloud.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, son. The important thing is that you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was more persistent.\u00a0 \u201cWhat made you decide to come home now? What changed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I did. I felt like I lost myself for a while but I know who I am now. I\u2019m not the same man who left here three years ago, though I hope I\u2019m a better one.\u00a0 Besides that, I kinda missed your ugly mug.\u201d<\/p>\n

Over the rest of the meal there were more stories and laughter, and it seemed to Adam that his father grew younger by the end. Thanks, Pa, for letting me go the way you did so that I can be here now.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe nudged him. \u201cSay Adam\u2014you didn\u2019t happen to bring a wife back with you, by any chance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would I want with a wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that a \u2018no\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a definite NO.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s too bad, because Pa has had a bad case of \u2018grandchild fever\u2019 this week, and I thought since you\u2019re the oldest, I mean it seems like that would be your responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m perfectly willing to leave that to you and Hoss. If there\u2019s one thing I learned during the past three years, it\u2019s how to live without a woman and even enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe I\u2019m hearing this from the man who is irresistible to women.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must be thinking of the old Adam Cartwright.\u00a0 So what sparked the onset of this ailment, may I ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe laughed.\u00a0 \u201cThere is this cute little girl over at the Barkleys\u2019\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline,\u201d Adam interrupted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve met her,\u201d Ben smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a manner of speaking.\u00a0 I caught her hiding behind the library door as I was leaving this morning. She said she knew who I was\u2014she called me \u201cMr. Ben\u2019s Adam\u201d\u2014but she wouldn\u2019t tell me her name. I picked up on it from someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben laughed. \u201cShe must have heard us talking about you at dinner the other night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe actually met Adaline and her mother at the bank that morning,\u201d said Joe. \u201cThey were walking away and Pa found her doll on the sidewalk\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLucy,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight. Anyway, he gave it back to her and I think he\u2019s been her hero ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s pretty fond of Joe, too,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but you should have seen her curled up in Pa\u2019s lap, both of them sound asleep. It was quite a picture.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bet.\u201d\u00a0 Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI have a feeling she might be a handful.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure she wasn\u2019t supposed to be in the library this morning, unsupervised.\u00a0 She hightailed it out of there when she heard her name called.\u00a0 What\u2019s her story, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFriend of the family.\u00a0 She, her mother, and her aunt are staying with the Barkleys temporarily while their house is being repaired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you happen to meet her mother?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I arrived late last night and left early this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a lovely woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure she is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s not interested, Pa. You heard what he said earlier. He\u2019s moved on to loftier pursuits.\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust because I said I didn\u2019t want a wife doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t appreciate a beautiful woman.\u00a0 I\u2019m not that lofty, not yet anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good to know, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not trying to play matchmaker,\u201d Ben assured them.\u00a0 \u201cI just wondered if you\u2019d met her, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll look forward to the privilege.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, here comes Jarrod after all,\u201d Joe laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, gentlemen. I thought I might find you here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoin us for breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Ben but I had mine back at the house with Adaline. She was up quite early this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know,\u201d said Adam. \u201cWe had a tete-a-tete in the library before I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, well that explains something.\u00a0 She told me she had a secret but she wouldn\u2019t tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben laughed.\u00a0 \u201cThat girl will keep you on your toes, won\u2019t she? By the way, how\u2019s Moira today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wasn\u2019t up when I left but I assume she\u2019s fine. She slept through last night\u2019s storm, so she should have gotten plenty of rest.\u00a0 Sorry to rush\u2014I\u2019m meeting a client and need to get to my office, but before I forget, Mother is expecting you three for dinner. You know what that means.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means we\u2019ll be there.\u201d Joe raised his hand in a mock salute.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe kid learns fast, doesn\u2019t he? No wonder he made foreman.\u201d Jarrod grinned over his shoulder. \u201cCome early. If I know Adaline, she\u2019ll be on pins and needles until you get there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Moira?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline\u2019s mother,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cDidn\u2019t I mention her name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you didn\u2019t. It\u2019s one you don\u2019t hear every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true; in fact, I\u2019ve never met anyone else with that name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have.\u201d Adam traced the rim of his cup.<\/p>\n

Joe leaned forward on his elbows. \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, I know that look; there must be a story.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s lips formed a thin smile. \u201cNot really, at least not one to amount to anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was she, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d never talked about it with anyone.\u00a0 It was a brief chapter in his life that he\u2019d closed the book on and never expected to open again.\u00a0 But the past was past, and maybe now was as good a time as any to finally lay it to rest, perhaps in the telling.\u00a0 He could at least give them the short version.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was a woman who saved my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that all?\u201d Joe rolled his eyes. \u201cYou\u2019re right. No one would want to hear about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, Adam,\u201d his father prodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was over in California a few years ago, on my way home in mid-summer, when my horse went lame in a stretch of nowhere, nothing but scrub and brush. There I was, hauling my saddle with my back about to break, canteen empty, and I saw this house in the distance. I was afraid it might have been my imagination, but I kept walking toward it because I knew if I dropped, I\u2019d never get up. When I got a little closer, I saw a woman on a ladder, with a paintbrush and bucket. Now, I figured if I was going to imagine something, it wouldn\u2019t be that. I made it to the front porch, almost anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure how she got me inside\u2014she said I woke up but I must have been sleepwalking because I honestly don\u2019t remember. What I do remember is waking up while she was digging a mesquite thorn out of my hand. Anyway, she patched me up, fed me, and got me back on my feet. I fixed the roof, chopped wood, made a few other repairs around the place, as much as she would let me. After a couple of weeks, there was really nothing more to do, and even though it wasn\u2019t near what she had done for me, she was satisfied.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI take it there wasn\u2019t a man around,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she was a widow.\u00a0 Her husband\u2019s grave was still new. I worried about her staying out there alone but she was an independent type, said she couldn\u2019t the leave the place they\u2019d built together.\u00a0 She loved him very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, when you say widow, I\u2019m picturing a taller, heftier version of Clementine Hawkins, without the accent. \u00a0How close am I?\u201d Joe wanted to know.<\/p>\n

Adam managed to keep a straight face. \u201cThat\u2019s absolutely amazing. You must have been a fly on the wall.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if you\u2019ll buy that, Joe, I\u2019ve got a horse I\u2019d like to sell you,\u201d Ben laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, I was just kidding anyway.\u00a0 I figure I\u2019m way off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew it. I also have a feeling there is more to this story than we\u2019ll ever know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps that\u2019s as it should be,\u201d said Ben. \u201cDid you ever see her again?\u201d\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I uh, stopped by the farm three years ago. The house had burned to the ground. A neighbor said she\u2019d died in the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo am I. I didn\u2019t know what I was expecting to find, but it wasn\u2019t that.\u201d He stared into his cup. His father was right. Some things were better left untold.<\/p>\n

When he looked up, Joe was watching him. \u201cYou loved her, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of people thought you left because of Laura, but I never did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople will always think whatever they want, but to be honest, Laura Dayton\u2014bless her heart and Will Cartwright\u2014could never hold a candle to a woman like Moira Dolan.\u201d \u00a0He scrubbed at his beard, frowning.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019ll go get a shave and a tub.\u201d\u00a0 It was a good excuse to change the subject. He had grown tired of this one.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he just say? Adam, wait\u2014what did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI said I\u2019m going to get a shave and a tub.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no\u2014before that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I think you\u2019d better sit back down,\u201d said Ben, his brow furrowing.<\/p>\n

The uneasy look on both their faces convinced him. \u201cAll right; what\u2019s this about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about Moira Dolan,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about her?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe seemed to be mulling his words for once, in silent appeal to his father for help.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not sure,\u201d said Ben. \u201cIt could be a remarkable coincidence but somehow I doubt it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you please stop talking in circles and just tell me whatever it is you\u2019re trying to say!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Moira Dolan is Adaline\u2019s mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took a moment for the words to sink in. Every pore in his body seemed to open as hope rose and then fell. Moira is dead, remember?<\/em> \u201cNo\u2026no, she can\u2019t possibly be the same woman. The Moira I knew died in the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you absolutely certain? Couldn\u2019t the person who told you have been wrong?\u00a0 Was there a grave? Surely she would have been buried next to her husband.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, there wasn\u2019t a grave. But I knew she had a sister somewhere, and I thought maybe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA sister?\u201d Joe repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cBesides, Moira didn\u2019t have any children. She told me she and her husband had wanted them but were never blessed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline was born after Moira\u2019s husband died.\u201d\u00a0 Ben murmured.<\/p>\n

Adam rubbed the back of his neck, staring at a spot on the tablecloth. Adrenaline spiked in his veins and he took a practiced breath to slow his pulse. \u201cHow old is Adaline?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFour. Victoria said her birthday was sometime last month.\u201d<\/p>\n

He closed his eyes and did the calculation in his head, though it wasn\u2019t necessary. He gripped the edge of the table to steady himself and felt his father\u2019s hand on his shoulder. Joe shoved a glass of water toward him which he drank without stopping.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did love her. I wanted her to come back with me, but she said her husband had been her whole life and she didn\u2019t think she could ever love anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how it feels when grief is fresh,\u201d said Ben. \u201cBelieve me, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told her that, but she wouldn\u2019t listen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you didn\u2019t go back.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was an unspoken question in Joe\u2019s innocuous comment. Adam replied, \u201cI almost did, a couple of times.\u00a0 But even though she put it kindly, she made it clear she didn\u2019t want me. Maybe you don\u2019t know how that feels.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t she tell me? I\u2019d have moved heaven and earth if I had known but she never even gave me the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you would have, but maybe she was afraid to trust that since you were already gone,\u201d said Ben. \u201cThink about what she must have been going through. She was a young widow, alone, carrying another man\u2019s child. I\u2019m just stating fact, not judging, though there are plenty who certainly would, and the burden of guilt would have fallen on her and Adaline for the rest of their lives. I don\u2019t think any of us can blame Moira for wanting to protect her daughter under such circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s my daughter, too.\u00a0 And your granddaughter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you think I realize that? But we have to be very careful about this. Because officially and as far as everyone else is concerned, she is Adaline Dolan, and to even suggest otherwise could be very damaging.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father was talking, but Adam was no longer listening.\u00a0 The last three years of his life had been based on a lie. It was too much all at once.<\/p>\n

He pushed up from the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomewhere I can think.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Five<\/strong><\/p>\n

The moment Moira opened her eyes she knew something was amiss. Sunlight dappled the walls and the furniture.\u00a0 It had to be mid-morning at least. How could she have slept so late?<\/p>\n

There was a soft knock at the door, and Victoria entered with a tray.<\/p>\n

\u201cI brought your breakfast\u2014bacon, eggs and coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, but you really shouldn\u2019t have gone to so much trouble. I\u2019m sorry for sleeping in. I meant to be up hours ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s no trouble, and no apology necessary.\u201d \u00a0Victoria set the tray in front of her.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be honest, I\u2019m feeling a little muddleheaded. I can\u2019t seem to wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not your fault.\u00a0 Fi said you were overwrought yesterday. She meant well, but I think she may have used a heavy hand with the sleeping drops she put in your tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDrink your coffee. It will help.\u201d<\/p>\n

She obeyed without question. Victoria had a way of making her feel like a child sometimes.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is Adaline?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDownstairs with Audra. \u00a0I kept her with me last night. We had quite an adventure during the storm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStorm?\u201d\u00a0 She hadn\u2019t heard a thing.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. You and Fi missed all the fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Victoria. You should have woken me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense. You needed your rest.\u00a0 You haven\u2019t been yourself lately. Do you mind if I sit for a while? I\u2019d like to talk to you.\u201d She seated herself without waiting for an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly. What\u2019s on your mind?\u201d She asked the question more calmly than she felt.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I should be asking you that, although I think I might already know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira averted her eyes from Victoria\u2019s expectant gaze. \u201cWhat did Fi tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing really, but she didn\u2019t have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira, Adam Cartwright arrived last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

The cup shook in her hand but she managed to set it down without damage. \u201cAdam is here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, not at the moment. He went into town this morning to meet his family.\u00a0 But he will be back this afternoon.\u201d\u00a0 Victoria\u2019s voice was kind.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you should know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira buried her face in her hands to hide the desperate tears scalding her cheeks. She felt the tray being lifted from her lap, and then Victoria\u2019s arms around her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019ve carried this burden by yourself long enough, don\u2019t you?\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing to be afraid of, Moira, not here, not with us. And I\u2019ve known the Cartwrights for a long time, by reputation and personally. They\u2019re good people. You must have known that, about Adam at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t make sense of why you seemed so ill at ease around Ben and Joe, and then of course there was the way you reacted at dinner when you heard Adam was coming. But I didn\u2019t know why until I saw him last night. Oh, my. You never told him about Adaline, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know the circumstances; it\u2019s not my business. But I can imagine why you might have thought it best not to, though I\u2019m sure he wouldn\u2019t have wanted you to go through this alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t been alone. I\u2019ve had Fi.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes of course, but it\u2019s not the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria smiled.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s fine, very well, it seems.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he know I\u2019m here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t tell him, but I\u2019m sure he does by now\u2026and\u2026he\u2019s seen Adaline. She was up this morning before he left.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Adam is a very smart man and you should be prepared when he gets here.\u201d She smoothed Moira\u2019s hair. \u201cNow, I want you to finish your breakfast and then have a long soak in the tub. Do your hair and put on a dress that brings out the blue in your eyes.\u00a0 When a woman feels pretty, it gives her confidence. Remember, you\u2019re stronger than you know.\u201d\u00a0 Having delivered her instructions, she departed and closed the door softly behind her.<\/p>\n

Moira sank back against the pillow. Oh, Adam, why did you have to come?<\/em> So many times she had hoped he would, and then prayed that he wouldn\u2019t. She had long ago resigned herself to the fact that he would never be a part of their lives. It was too late now.<\/p>\n

Victoria’s words reminded her of all the times she had been strong. Birthing Adaline, in the agony of original sin as well as her own, she longed to cry out his name, but she kept silence. And when she held their child for the first time, her heart ached not to be able to lay her in his arms. But she did not break, not then or since, even with the living reminder of Adam Cartwright in front of her every day.<\/p>\n

But she was a woman, after all. And sometimes when she paused to watch the sunset, she could almost feel his arms around her, his hands pulling the pins from her hair, his lips trailing kisses down her neck; that moment in time when she lost herself to him and everything changed. And she would push that memory away because it was one she couldn\u2019t afford.<\/p>\n

No more sunsets. She would be strong. She had to be.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Adam slid the razor over the remnants of stubble on the chin he hadn\u2019t seen in months.\u00a0 The man who stared back from the mirror seemed a stranger. All the things he thought he knew about himself had been called into question by an impossible truth.<\/p>\n

Moira Dolan<\/em>. For three years he had believed her dead, though her memory had remained very much alive. Even when he was with Laura, he subconsciously drew comparisons that were sometimes disenchanting. Still, he had longed for the kind of life their relationship offered and was willing to sacrifice to get it. He reasoned that perhaps he would fall in love with Laura in time, but even if he didn\u2019t it wouldn\u2019t matter. After all, he cared deeply for her, and he truly loved Peggy. But alone at night, it was Moira\u2019s face in his dreams.<\/p>\n

His heart was raining in pieces the day he left her. After a couple of miles he\u2019d had a good mind to turn around and go back and tell her she had no business staying alone on that scrubby little farm at the edge of nowhere, and if she wouldn\u2019t come voluntarily he would just throw her over his shoulder and carry her off.\u00a0 He had laughed out loud at the idea, picturing her reaction.\u00a0 She would have thought he\u2019d gone stark raving mad.\u00a0 There were so many times since that he\u2019d wished he\u2019d done it anyway.<\/p>\n

They\u2019d had one night together.\u00a0 Just one. \u00a0He knew she was lonely. For that matter, so was he.\u00a0 Sometimes he felt that he’d been born that way. He was more than grateful to her for saving his life and never expected to feel anything beyond that. \u00a0But there on the porch that evening, with the sun fading behind her, he saw her clearly for the first time. She was beautiful, too young to be a widow, needing so much more than she was willing to admit.\u00a0 He would show her that she need never be lonely again.<\/p>\n

One night that marked a beginning and an end.\u00a0 But it wasn’t the end. If only he had known he had a child in this world. It would have changed so many things.<\/p>\n

The knock at the door was no surprise. He\u2019d stormed off during breakfast at the hotel, leaving his father and Joe to finish without him, and he\u2019d wondered which one would show up first.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He let his father in. \u201cI\u2019m all right. Sorry for my abrupt exit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo apology necessary, son. I know you\u2019ve had quite a shock. We just had no idea\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not the only ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.<\/p>\n

He sat down on the bed while Adam paced in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe should\u2019ve told me, Pa.\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t she have come to me as soon as she found out and told me the truth?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Maybe she was afraid. And weren\u2019t you involved with Laura and Peggy around that time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t have mattered.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTry to put yourself in her place for a moment. When truth is uncomfortable or painful, it carries a risk. It\u2019s sometimes easier just to remain silent, not because we mean to lie, but because silence means security. And when we fail to correct false assumptions, truth gets buried in the process.\u00a0 After a while it\u2019s nearly impossible to uncover it without hurting someone; in this case, someone very innocent. And I know you don\u2019t want that any more than she does.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned against the wall, arms folded, trying to tamp down his frustration. On his first day back he was getting a lecture from his father as though he was still sixteen years old; it didn\u2019t help knowing he was right, as usual.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you suggest I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTalk to her, and listen to her. You can\u2019t change the past but there might be hope for the future, if that\u2019s something you want.\u201d<\/p>\n

He clenched his jaw. \u201cI just want what\u2019s rightfully mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben drew himself up in front of him. \u201cI understand how you feel. Just think carefully about what\u2019s at stake before you do anything. If you\u2019re wise, you\u2019ll leave anger out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was glad when his father left.\u00a0 Anger was easier than all the other things that had been driving him the past five years\u2014wounded pride; regret; guilt; heartache; loneliness; at times, even despair.<\/p>\n

She should have told him; no matter what. \u00a0Moira had no right to keep Adaline to herself, to deny her a father, not to mention a grandfather and uncles.<\/p>\n

He had more than once reaped the consequences of being too altruistic.\u00a0 He vowed never to make that mistake again.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Jarrod was in his office working on the second draft of a client\u2019s will when the front door opened and an improved version of Adam Cartwright stepped inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I must say, you do clean up well after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rubbed his beardless chin.\u00a0 \u201cIt was beginning to itch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember. I tried one for a couple of months, until I couldn\u2019t stand it anymore. How was the reunion?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was more than I could have hoped for. If Hoss had been there it would have been pretty near perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad to hear it. Have a seat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure this isn\u2019t a bad time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all.\u201d Jarrod waited for him to speak. \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind, Adam?\u00a0 Somehow I have a feeling you aren\u2019t here to talk about investments.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shifted in his chair. \u201cNo, I\u2019m not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI came to talk to you about Moira Dolan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira? May I ask why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s just say I have a reason to be interested.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam appeared ill at ease, his manner subdued. If it had been anyone else inquiring about Moira, Jarrod would have been wary.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long have you known her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA little over four years. She came here to live with her sister just before Adaline was born.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you know her husband?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he had already passed. That\u2019s why she moved to Stockton, so she wouldn\u2019t be alone when the baby came.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJames Dolan died five years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou knew him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I met Moira a couple of months later. Did she happen to mention that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026no, she didn\u2019t. I guess I\u2019m not surprised to hear it, considering the way she\u2019s been acting since she heard you were coming here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat way?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnxious, tense, touchy\u2014pick one.\u201d Jarrod stared out the window for a moment, his brow furrowed, before directing his gaze back to Adam. \u201cI suppose maybe now I understand why.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said James Dolan died five years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFive years ago this month.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then A plus B cannot equal C, can it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it can\u2019t possibly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, well\u2026my, oh my.\u201d \u00a0Yes, without the beard, especially, the resemblance was unquestionable.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that all you have to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need a moment, if you don\u2019t mind. This is a lot to chew at once.\u201d He pinned Adam with a stern look as he formed his reply.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve been friends for a long time, and I can\u2019t picture you as the kind of man who would take advantage of a grieving widow and then leave her compromised, so I have to believe you didn\u2019t know about Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I didn\u2019t know,\u201d Adam bristled. \u201cAnd I object to your term \u2018taking advantage.\u2019\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t like that at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I thought it was, we\u2019d be having a different conversation. Moira is like a sister to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s demeanor softened. \u201cShe was in love with a memory, and I couldn\u2019t compete. Until this morning, I thought she was dead.\u201d He paused, his eyes narrowing. \u201cI guess that\u2019s what she wanted me to think. She certainly didn\u2019t intend for me to find out about Adaline. I\u2019m not sure I can forgive her for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, be reasonable. What did you expect her to do under the circumstances?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe should have come to me! She knew where I was. I would have married her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe she wasn\u2019t sure about that. Think how frightened she must have been by the prospect of the future she was facing. Society does not look kindly on a child born out of wedlock, and the woman fares no better.\u00a0 They\u2019re typically outcasts, while a man can go on his way unscathed with none the wiser. Moira was the one bearing all of the risk, and she had to make a timely decision. You can\u2019t fault her for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam tugged on his earlobe, frowning.\u00a0 \u201cYou sound like my father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour father is a wise man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d He sighed and cradled his head in his hands. \u201cI still can\u2019t believe my own child was standing in front of me this morning and I didn\u2019t even know it. She\u2019s already four years old, Jarrod.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never get those years back. But I don\u2019t intend to give up any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you come to me\u2014for legal advice, moral support, what exactly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoth. I want to be a father to Adaline, to give her the life and the name she is entitled to. I want to know what my rights are, exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline is listed in the county birth registry as the daughter of James Dolan, deceased. I\u2019m afraid you have no legal standing, Adam. Your only \u2018rights\u2019 are what Moira is willing to allow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were my friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am your friend, as well as Moira\u2019s. I\u2019m also Adaline\u2019s godfather\u2014you didn\u2019t know that, did \u00a0you?\u2014and her best interest is my first priority.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam seemed surprised, then angry. \u201cYou don\u2019t think I have her best interest at heart?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s more a case of not being able to see the forest for the trees.\u00a0 Let me fill you in on the big picture.\u00a0 Moira has worked tirelessly to build a life for herself and Adaline here in Stockton. She is known and admired as a devoted mother, an excellent seamstress, and a respected member of the community who is generous with her time and talents. Every decision, every sacrifice, has been for Adaline\u2019s sake. That child is her whole life. And Adaline is a happy, well-loved little girl. I understand your position, Adam, but if you do anything, even unintentionally, to upset either of them, you\u2019ll find a lot of people against you, and I\u2019ll be front and center.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you threatening me, Counselor?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not a threat, it\u2019s a promise. But I don\u2019t expect I\u2019ll ever have to act on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The hard lines of Adam\u2019s expression faded, and his posture seemed to deflate as he dropped his head and stared at the floor.<\/p>\n

Jarrod came around the desk and propped on the edge. \u201cI know you\u2019ve had a shock, and I\u2019m sorry if I seem to be dismissing your feelings because that\u2019s not my intention at all. Can I offer you some advice, as your friend?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s easy to be angry, but it won\u2019t serve you in this case. I think deep down you know that Moira\u2019s actions were a matter of expediency, not malicious intent. I assure you, there\u2019s not a malicious bone in that woman\u2019s body. She needs to know, unequivocally, that you are in no way a threat, that you are her ally, not her enemy. That\u2019s your best hope, and only you can convince her of that. You must have loved her once; try to recall those tender feelings. Perhaps it won\u2019t be that difficult when you see her.\u201d<\/p>\n

They were interrupted by another visitor entering the office.\u00a0 Mark Van Alstyne hesitated when he saw Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Jarrod. I can come back later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo need,\u201d said Adam, rising. \u201cI was just leaving.\u201d He shook Jarrod\u2019s hand. \u201cThanks for helping me get my head on straight.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lawyer smiled.\u00a0 \u201cAnytime.\u00a0 Good luck.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll need it.\u201d\u00a0 He nodded to Mark on his way out.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn old friend, Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen Cartwright\u2019s prodigal son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, as a matter of fact.\u201d Mark had obviously picked up on the conversation at dinner.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe looks familiar, but I think I\u2019d know if I\u2019d met him before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you would. What can I do for you, Mark?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just came by to inquire about Moira.\u00a0 I hope she\u2019s feeling better today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs far as I know, she\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankly, she hasn\u2019t been herself lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she has been a bit preoccupied these past few days, but nothing to be concerned about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you say so. Would you do me a favor and remind her about our dinner engagement tomorrow night?\u00a0 Tell her I\u2019ll pick her up at 5:00.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTomorrow night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, we postponed it from last week because Adaline was under the weather.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will certainly relay the message. In fact, I was just about to pack up and head to the ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re home early,\u201d Victoria greeted Jarrod from the landing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI passed Dr. Key on the road. What was he doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe came by to check on Fi, at my request. She doesn’t complain, but she is not well by any means.\u00a0 It’s her heart, I’m afraid. We knew, of course, but it’s becoming more of an issue now, and sadly there’s not much we can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m truly sorry to hear that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she sighed. \u201cDid you deliver the invitations?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDelivered and acknowledged; three Cartwrights for dinner this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Jarrod, I think I should warn you, tonight might be a little awkward…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m way ahead of you, Mother. Adam came to see me about Moira. It seems they share quite a history.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd a great deal more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs of this morning\u2014in fact, he’s the one who told me. Apparently he put it together after he talked with Ben and Joe. For some reason, though I\u2019m not sure why, he thought Moira was dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Adam, it must have been quite a shock. I can’t help but think about Heath finding about his father, the secret his mother kept from him for so long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod put a sympathetic arm around her. \u201cIt was a storm we all had to weather, but we came out stronger in the end, thanks in no small part to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria smiled, thinking of her youngest son, who grew more like Tom Barkley with each passing year. Though he\u2019d been born of another woman during a time she\u2019d rather forget, he occupied a unique place in her heart, and it still brought tears to her eyes remembering the first time he called her \u201cMother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can’t take credit. Only God’s grace could sort out a situation like that. It’s not a path I would have chosen, but I wouldn’t change our family now for anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither would I.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don’t know what happened with Adam and Moira, but I do know that sometimes we do things to protect people and we end up hurting them. I pray they can at least come to an understanding, for Adaline’s sake.\u00a0 I would hate to see her grow up without her father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe won’t, if Adam has his way.\u00a0 He was angry and bitter over the fact that Moira kept her from him all these years, though I hope I persuaded him to tread lightly in the matter. But as for what’s going to happen tonight, I’d say all bets are off.\u00a0 There are just too many emotions in play.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the course of true love never did run smooth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo saith the Bard.\u201d Jarrod poured himself a drink.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what makes you think it\u2019s true love?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think it isn\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no opinion one way or the other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if it\u2019s not, it ought to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

He raised an eyebrow at her over his glass. \u201cAren\u2019t you the same Victoria Barkley who only yesterday said you can\u2019t push two people together if they don\u2019t belong, no matter how much you wish it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but I don\u2019t think it applies to this situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMother dear, your heart is in the right place, as always, but I\u2019d be careful if I were you. Moira is one thing, but you don\u2019t push a man like Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t believe that will be necessary.\u201d Although a nudge couldn\u2019t hurt, could it?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh? ‘Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps’.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a suspicious nature you have,\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a hazard of my profession.\u201d\u00a0 He kissed her lightly on the cheek. \u201cI\u2019m going up to change for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her smile faded behind his back.\u00a0 Not a trap, but a word fitly spoken might make a difference, if she was right. \u00a0Lord, what fools these mortals be.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Six<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Cartwrights waited on the front porch of the Barkley house once more, but this time there were three of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook at him. He\u2019s as nervous as a fella gettin\u2019 married,\u201d Joe referred to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cCan\u2019t say I blame him, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo tell you the truth, I\u2019m a little nervous myself,\u201d said Ben. \u00a0Adam felt his father\u2019s hand on his shoulder as he fingered his collar and shifted the box under his arm.<\/p>\n

Silas opened the door and ushered them to the parlor, where Jarrod, Victoria, and Audra greeted them.\u00a0 Adaline peeked from behind Victoria\u2019s chair and promptly hid herself again when Adam winked at her.\u00a0 So that\u2019s how it\u2019s going to be.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI spoke to a little girl in the library this morning, and I was hoping to see her this afternoon,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must mean Adaline,\u201d said Jarrod.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I believe that\u2019s her name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she was here a moment ago,\u201d said Victoria. \u201cShe can\u2019t be far.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyway, I heard she had a birthday recently, and I had hoped to give her this gift, but I suppose I could return it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be a shame,\u201d said Audra, exchanging a grin with Joe.<\/p>\n

Adaline hurried around the chair at once. \u201cHere I am! I was just hiding,\u201d she giggled.<\/p>\n

Adam bent down and grinned.\u00a0 \u201cHello again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHello. You took off your beard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou noticed. What do you think?\u00a0 Do you like me better with or without it?\u201d<\/p>\n

She pursed her lips and studied his face.\u00a0 \u201cHmm. I think with\u2026out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019m glad I shaved. This is for you.\u201d\u00a0 He handed her the box. \u201cLet\u2019s sit over here and you can open it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She climbed onto the settee next to him and pulled the ribbon from the box, then removed the lid. \u201cOh, she\u2019s so pretty,\u201d she murmured as she picked up the doll to show everyone.\u00a0 \u201cLook!\u201d<\/p>\n

Audra smiled. \u201cShe looks like you, with that dark hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t think she\u2019s anywhere near as pretty as you are, but I thought she might be a fine friend for Lucy,\u201d said Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you going to call her?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline scrunched her face in thought.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019ll call her\u2026Hildegarde.\u201d She cut her eyes toward Adam and grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cHildegarde?\u201d Joe looked bewildered.<\/p>\n

Adam laughed. \u201cI think it\u2019s a fine name. Nice and sturdy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr maybe I\u2019ll call her Molly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven better,\u201d agreed Adam. He wondered if her nose always crinkled like that when she smiled.\u00a0 There was so much about her he didn\u2019t know; so much he longed to know.\u00a0 \u201cHappy birthday, Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She surprised him with a hug, and he knew better than to look at his father but was caught by Victoria\u2019s tearful gaze before he glanced away.<\/p>\n

\u201cMama, look!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood up as Moira entered the room, and the ache in his chest seemed to suck the air from his lungs.<\/p>\n

Excited and proud, Adaline showed the gift to her mother, who admired it with enthusiasm and a gentle reminder.\u00a0 \u201cDid you say a proper thank you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she did,\u201d said Adam. \u201cHello, Moira.\u201d\u00a0 He was surprised to be able to speak at all, further mystified by the calmness in his voice. In truth, he felt about as far from calm as east is from west.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria rose from her seat. \u201cAdaline, I\u2019m going to the garden to cut some flowers for the dinner table.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you come and help me?\u00a0 Jarrod, maybe you and Audra could show Ben and Joe the new colt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to see the colt, too,\u201d said Adaline.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you saw him this morning,\u201d said Moira.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Mama?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mind if you don\u2019t,\u201d said Jarrod.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, but leave your doll in the house.\u00a0 You know what happened to Lucy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to Lucy?\u201d Joe wanted to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was a bad girl and got in the mud,\u201d explained Adaline. \u201cNow she can\u2019t play outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOhh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, come along,\u201d said Jarrod.<\/p>\n

Adaline placed her doll back in the box and eased next to Ben, slipping her hand into his. He smiled down at her and swung her up into his arms. \u201cWill you read to me again later?\u201d she asked him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Adam might like to do that,\u201d said Ben, with a wistful glance at his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he a good reader?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s very good.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled and waved at Adam and Moira over Ben\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cJarrod was right,\u201d Adam murmured when they were alone in the room. \u201cShe is a happy, well-loved little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d Her voice broke on the word before she composed herself.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re looking well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo are you.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the silence that followed, he allowed himself to really look at her. Five years and the birth of a child had softened some of her angles, but she was still a beautiful woman. \u00a0Her chestnut hair was pulled back into a loose knot at the nape of her neck, and her dress reflected the sophisticated fashions of the day. It was a shade of deep lavender which complemented her eyes and contrasted her creamy skin, further evidence that she was no longer a farm girl.\u00a0 That was how he remembered her\u2014eyes as blue as an October sky amid a bronzed face with a smattering of freckles across her nose, and her hair shot through with strands of gold as it fell past her shoulders\u2014the day he kissed her goodbye.<\/p>\n

\u201cClearly we have a lot to talk about, and I think we should adjourn to the library for whatever comes next.\u201d\u00a0 The coolness of his tone was a habit developed through the years, used mostly with adversaries. Never give yourself away. But Moira was not his adversary, he reminded himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d\u00a0 She led the way with her back straight and her chin high and said nothing else until he closed the door behind them.\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease.\u201d He held up his hand. \u201cI\u2019d like to go first if you don\u2019t mind. Sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n

He remained standing, forcing her to look up at him. Her eyes were still as blue as he remembered. Not that it mattered.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve run through a gamut of emotions since this morning, and my head is still reeling. For the past three years I thought you were dead. Then I came here and found out you were alive. Not only that, you gave birth to our child and didn\u2019t think it was important enough to tell me.\u201d \u00a0In spite of Jarrod\u2019s admonition, the anger he had tamped down earlier niggled at him once more. He took a breath. \u00a0Careful. <\/em>\u201cA couple of people have suggested why you made that decision, but I\u2019d like to hear it from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She was frowning. \u201cWhy did you think I was dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI stopped by your farm; the house was in ruins. A neighbor said the fire was caused by lightning and that the woman who lived there had died.\u00a0 A case of mistaken identity, or just a mistake, I don\u2019t know which.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sold the farm when I came to Stockton. What made you go there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cObviously, I was looking for you. Why else would I go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why then?\u00a0 Was it because things didn\u2019t work out with Laura Dayton?\u201d<\/p>\n

She caught him off guard. \u201cHow did you know about that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNews from Virginia City makes its way here from time to time, and the Cartwrights aren\u2019t exactly private citizens, are they?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is one of the drawbacks,\u201d he admitted, sagging against the desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe now you understand why I did what I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really.\u00a0 I still don\u2019t understand why you didn\u2019t come to me as soon as you found out you were pregnant. We could have been married, no questions asked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the time I was certain, it was too late. Besides, you were preoccupied.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you had come back with me like I wanted you to, that would never have been an issue. I loved you, not Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never said those words to me, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou stopped me cold before I could ever get them out; set me straight and on my way. Or don\u2019t you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember.\u201d She pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and twisted it in her hands, staring into her lap. \u201cI hurt you that day, and I never meant to.\u00a0 It made me ashamed knowing I had used you just because I was lonely.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you think you had the market on loneliness or that I was such a fool? I knew what was happening; maybe I was using you, too. I never claimed to be a saint. Either one of us could have stopped it but we didn\u2019t. I didn\u2019t imagine the outcome based on your history with James, or honestly I would have been more careful. It seems I\u2019m the one who hurt you, and I\u2019m sorry for that. But I wouldn\u2019t have left you alone if I had known, no matter what you said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t alone, and you don\u2019t need to apologize.\u00a0 I admit that I wrestled with the morality of what we\u2019d done, though I knew God had forgiven me; I assumed this was my penance. But I was wrong about that. Of all the good gifts He has ever granted me, Adaline is the very best, and she came just when I needed her the most.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though perhaps unintentionally, her words stung.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s my child too, Moira\u2014my flesh and blood, just as much as yours. \u00a0Maybe I needed her.\u00a0 And maybe she needs her father.\u201d<\/p>\n

She got up and crossed to the window without looking at him, and pretended to watch something outside. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you come back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

When she turned, he saw the frown lines in her forehead. \u201cIf you really loved me, as you just said, why didn\u2019t you come back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, but you made it pretty clear that you didn\u2019t want or need me there, that you didn\u2019t think you could ever love anyone but James.\u00a0 Those were your words. What did you expect me to do, beg? I\u2019ve never begged a woman in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ve never had to. For what it\u2019s worth, there were days I prayed you would come back, on your own\u2014for me, not for an obligation.\u00a0 But you were already courting someone else. Tell me something, Adam.\u00a0 Why would you want to marry a woman you didn\u2019t love?\u201d Her expression was angry, almost defiant.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe because she was willing to give me what you wouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m sorry it didn\u2019t work out for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not. It was never meant to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome things aren\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor what it\u2019s worth, I\u2019ve wished a thousand times I had gone back for you, Moira\u2014and I didn\u2019t even know about Adaline. \u00a0I wouldn\u2019t know about her now if I hadn\u2019t just happened here, and that is something I can\u2019t ride around\u2014that, and the fact that you asked Jarrod to be her godfather without telling him about me.\u00a0 If something had happened to you, no one would\u2019ve ever known I\u2019m Adaline\u2019s real father, isn\u2019t that right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI shouldn\u2019t have to tell you why. From what I knew at the time, I assumed you would marry and raise a family of your own. \u00a0Adaline was my only consideration.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want her to grow up as Adam Cartwright\u2019s illegitimate child, and there was only one alternative. Honestly, I never expected to see you again, and I figured what you didn\u2019t know couldn\u2019t hurt you. Right or wrong, done is done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what from at you\u2019ve said, I guess you never wanted to see me again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, don\u2019t make this about us.\u00a0 It was never about us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d like to think that, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tried to keep your dead husband between us that night, but if you think you succeeded, you\u2019ve only been fooling yourself for the past five years. But it doesn\u2019t matter anymore. We\u2019re both different people now. I let you have your way then, but I\u2019m not the same man, and I\u2019m not going to just roll over and give up on the things I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you want Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe is half mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s not Cartwright property.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but she\u2019s got Cartwright blood in her veins; and that name is her birthright. It should have been hers from the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n

For the first time, she looked frightened.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you intend to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know yet. I haven\u2019t had enough time to think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was true.\u00a0 He\u2019d only become a father that morning, and raw emotion had precluded logical thought.\u00a0 Moira had turned away from him, and he knew she was crying. He rubbed the back of his head in frustration, remembering Jarrod\u2019s advice.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s got to be a way we can work this out, somehow.\u201d He placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. \u201cI\u2019m not your enemy, and I hope you believe that I would never knowingly hurt you or Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you wouldn\u2019t mean to,\u201d she murmured.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t know what you see when you look at her, but more and more, I see you. And that\u2019s what everyone else will see.\u00a0 You can\u2019t protect her from that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before he even had time to consider his response, someone rapped at the door.\u00a0 \u201cCome in,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Silas appeared agitated.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Miss Moira, but your sister\u2019s had a spell. Mrs. Barkley asked me to send you up to her room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam followed her to the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cCan I help?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGet Jarrod,\u201d she said over her shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Seven<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fiona Worthington\u2019s collapse put a pall on the rest of the evening. At Victoria\u2019s insistence the Cartwrights stayed for dinner as planned, but the mood and conversation were both muted. Their hostess\u2019s presence was intermittent, and Moira didn\u2019t come down at all. Jarrod and Audra had charge of Adaline, but she clung to Ben whenever she had the chance.<\/p>\n

Shrugging an apology to Adam (who smiled to signal he didn\u2019t mind), Ben settled once more into the library chair with a book in his hand and his granddaughter in his lap.\u00a0 Granddaughter.\u00a0 <\/em>He still found it incredible, except that she was a near image of her father at that age and as such, impossible to deny. That first day when Ben saw her at the bank, his heart must have known. It seemed to have swelled two sizes since then.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s happy ever after?\u201d she asked when he had finished reading.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, dear?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the story, you said the prince and princess lived in happy ever after.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI said they \u2018lived happily\u2019 ever after. It\u2019s not a place you can go. It just means they were happy. \u2018Ever after\u2019 means all the days after that\u2014always and forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d She seemed satisfied with his answer. \u201cWill you read me another?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure we have time,\u201d he said reluctantly. \u201cIt\u2019s getting rather late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a little one, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

The corners of his mouth tugged upwards.\u00a0 \u201cA very little one, since you asked so nicely.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was braced against the doorway, watching them; Adam peered over his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I tell you?\u201d Joe whispered.\u00a0 \u201cIsn\u2019t that a picture?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cIt sure is.\u201d<\/p>\n

They stepped away into the foyer.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t wait for Hoss to see her. He\u2019s gonna fall all over himself when he finds out he has a niece. I can hardly believe it myself,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat makes two of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked sympathetic. \u201cI can\u2019t imagine what it was like for you, finding out the way you did. How are you doin\u2019, really?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it was kind of a one-two punch, and I\u2019m still a little winded, but I\u2019m up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did things go with Moira?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged. \u201cAbout like you would expect. I don\u2019t think she\u2019s too thrilled about me being here, and we didn\u2019t have long to talk. But I think we\u2019ll be able to come to some kind of agreement eventually.\u00a0 In the meantime, I guess I\u2019m gonna have to work a little harder on being patient. You know, it\u2019s\u2026a delicate situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, getting the cart before the horse tends to complicate things.\u201d Joe shook his head. \u201cI have to admit, Adam\u2014I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d be one to do it, Mr. \u2018measure five times, cut once\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam chuckled at the exaggeration. \u201cI never did that. Three, maybe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI distinctly remember four,\u201d laughed Joe. \u201cSeriously, I know this is tough, and I feel for ya, older brother. I know there\u2019s probably nothing I can do, but if there ever is, you\u2019d tell me, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d tell ya.\u201d Adam slung an arm over Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou comin\u2019 back to town tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did get a room, but I think I\u2019ll stay here instead, in case I\u2019m needed for something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, we\u2019ll be back here tomorrow. Jarrod said their foreman broke his arm yesterday, and with Nick and Heath away they were already a little shorthanded so I told him I could help out. Figured it was the least I could do for all the free meals we\u2019ve had here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, because I volunteered you, too. You still know how to dig a post hole, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust kidding. Boy, you should have seen your face just now,\u201d Joe cackled. \u201cWell, I guess I better drag Grandpa outta here and get him to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

After his father and brother departed, Adam happily succumbed to Adaline\u2019s request for \u201cjust one more story.\u201d She was yawning at his elbow as he neared the end of The Princess and the Pea<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Now they knew that she was a real princess because she had felt the pea right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds. Nobody but a real princess could be as sensitive as that. So the prince took her for his wife, for now he knew that he had a real princess; and the pea was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it. There, that is a true story.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not a true story,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt says so right here. You don\u2019t think so?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cThat would never work. Peas are too squishy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got a point there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hate peas, except I\u2019m not supposed to say hate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly, I\u2019m not too crazy about them myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMama made me eat four on Sunday.\u201d<\/p>\n

She made a gagging face, but he managed not to laugh. \u201cWhy four?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m <\/em>four. On my next birthday I\u2019ll have to eat five<\/em>.\u201d She held up her fingers to illustrate.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess that makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow old are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThirty-eight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her gasp was followed by a look of sympathy. \u201cI could never eat that many.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sighed and did his best to appear mournful.\u00a0 \u201cWell, grownups have to do hard things, sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure glad I\u2019m not a grownup.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad too.\u201d He pulled her onto his lap. \u201cIn fact, I hope you stay just the way you are for a long, long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s in here?\u201d She patted his pocket.<\/p>\n

\u201cA watch.\u201d\u00a0 He pulled it out to show her.<\/p>\n

Her finger traced the engraving on the cover. \u201cIt has a ship on it, like the one in the bottle in Uncle Jarrod\u2019s office.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt belonged to my grandfather. He was a sea captain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour grandpa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is he now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe died a long time ago, before you were even born.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have a grandpa either. Or a papa.\u201d \u00a0Her tone was matter of fact, but the words bruised his heart. \u201cMr. Ben is your papa.\u201d\u00a0 She seemed proud of herself for remembering.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about your mama?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe died when I was a boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d Her expression grew somber. \u201cDo you miss her a lot?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did for a long time, but I had my pa and my brothers growing up, and that helped. Now when I think of her, I mostly remember the happy times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have any brothers. I would be so sad if my mama died.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would never want to see you sad that way,\u201d he said, lifting her chin with a finger. \u201cBut even if sad things do happen, Adaline, there will always be someone who loves you to take care of you. You can be sure of that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry to interrupt, said Jarrod, \u201cbut the Queen has issued a decree that all the princesses in the land are to be in bed by 9:00\u2026approximately.\u201d\u00a0 The clock on the mantel said 9:05.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not a princess,\u201d Adaline protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo?\u00a0 You could\u2019ve fooled me. What do you say, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He appraised her with a smirk. \u201cI say\u2026goodnight, Princess.\u201d He kissed her forehead.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you don\u2019t find any peas in your bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYuck!\u201d she giggled.<\/p>\n

Adam felt a stab of envy as he watched them ascend the stairs together laughing, and then he berated himself for it.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t Jarrod\u2019s fault that he was the only father figure Adaline had ever known, and in her mind, Adam was just a nice man who gave her a doll and read her a story.\u00a0 He was on the outside looking in. But he didn\u2019t intend to remain there permanently.<\/p>\n

The house felt suddenly close, and he removed himself to the front porch for fresh air and perspective.\u00a0 The road to town stretched out before him like a bright ribbon in the moonlight.\u00a0 Perhaps he should take it, at least for tonight. It was only a half-hearted thought, not enough to tip the scale.<\/p>\n

He looked to the stars, thinking once more of Inger, the only mother he\u2019d known. He\u2019d always imagined her being up there among them, which somehow made her absence easier for a young boy to bear. He used to whisper secrets to her in the dark that no one else could hear.<\/p>\n

Mama, I have a daughter. Maybe you already know that; if you do, you know she\u2019s really something.<\/em><\/p>\n

The stars dimmed as Adam wept.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Eight<\/strong><\/p>\n

Victoria was drawing the parlor drapes when she observed Adam through the window. The sight of him seated on the front steps with his head bowed tugged at her maternal heart. His stoic nature reminded her again of Heath, whose still waters ran deeper than most people would ever imagine. She waited a few moments before joining him, being sure to make enough noise to announce her presence.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope I\u2019m not disturbing you.\u00a0 It just seemed too lovely a night to let it go by.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stood up. \u201cNot at all. Yes, it is lovely.\u00a0 The stars are magnificent.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey certainly are. I heard you got on well with Adaline this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, though she may be more taken with my father than with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria smiled. \u201cWell, he is a charmer.\u00a0 And I believe the feeling is mutual.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he feels he\u2019s long overdue for a grandchild.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about you?\u00a0 How do you feel about suddenly being a father?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down for a moment before answering. \u201cOverwhelmed. Overcome. Adaline is everything I could ever want, but she\u2019s four years old and doesn\u2019t even know me.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was pain in his earnest expression, which without the beard looked almost boyish.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, how old were you when your father married his second wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how long did it take for you to love her?\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cI think maybe I fell in love with her before Pa did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think you have to worry about Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you\u2019re saying, but there\u2019s a difference.\u00a0 My father married Inger. I don\u2019t see that happening in this case.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d She left the question bare intentionally, waiting for clarification.\u00a0 It was a method she employed with her own children whenever they were less than forthcoming, and it nearly always worked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, it\u2019s been five years, and if she didn\u2019t want to marry me then, I don\u2019t think anything has happened since to make her change her mind about us, Adaline notwithstanding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you ask her five years ago?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, not exactly,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI was headed that way, but she cut me off. \u00a0Her message came through loud and clear\u2014thanks but no thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you love her?\u201d<\/p>\n

He frowned.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t love me. She told me today, it was never about us anyway. End of story.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t answer my question,\u201d she reminded him. \u201cAnd you don\u2019t have to but if the answer is yes, then what I\u2019m going to tell you might be of interest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m listening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira never talked much about her husband, and what little I know of him I learned from Fi. Apparently he was good to her and they\u2019d had a happy marriage.\u00a0 After Adaline was born, she rarely mentioned him by name, and in reference to the baby she would invariably say \u2018her father.\u2019 I remember very distinctly her telling me once that Adaline\u2019s father was a good man, how it grieved her that he would never know his daughter, and that she intended to raise her to be someone he would\u2019ve been proud of. And the way she has poured herself into that child made me believe she must have loved him very much.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen Adaline was about eighteen months old, there was an influenza outbreak in Stockton, and Moira became ill. At one point her fever got so high that the doctor gave us little hope.\u00a0 I was sitting with her, trying to comfort her in her delirium. She was basically incoherent so nothing she said made much sense. \u00a0But she kept repeating something, and it seemed to me she was asking about Adaline, so I assured her the baby was fine.\u00a0 Then she said \u2018Adam\u2019 very clearly, and she kept saying it over and over until she slipped away.\u00a0 She was in a coma until the next evening.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t remember anything and I didn\u2019t mention it because I knew her husband\u2019s name was James. I had no idea who Adam was. Now we both know.\u201d<\/p>\n

The pained expression had returned, but he said nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll leave you with that. Whatever you decide to do with the information is up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you think of her, when you heard that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat she was a devoted mother and a lovely young woman who had suffered a great deal for love, and never meant for anyone to know.\u201d She paused. \u201cMatters of the heart are seldom black and white, and when we don\u2019t know the whole story we often assume wrongly. The reason I told you this is because I didn\u2019t want you to make that mistake with Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

He dropped his head and shielded his eyes with his hand, giving an almost imperceptible nod.<\/p>\n

Even with her own sons, moments like this required restraint on her part. Sometimes it was better just to leave them.\u00a0 She touched his arm lightly. \u201cBe sure and latch the door when you come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria turned to go, but he caught her hand and kissed it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, dear lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled up into his handsome face. \u201cYou Cartwrights are all charmers.\u201d<\/p>\n

One down, one to go.\u00a0 Moira, I hope you can see how lucky you are.<\/em><\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Moira smoothed the hair away from her sister\u2019s pale forehead and adjusted the bedcovers around her once more.\u00a0 If Fi was awake she would be telling her to \u2018stop fussing\u2019 but for now she was asleep and apparently comfortable.\u00a0 So was Adaline, finally.<\/p>\n

Her daughter had gotten her second wind by the time she came upstairs, eager to tell her mother all about Mr. Ben reading fairy tales, and how Adam didn\u2019t like peas either, and his watch with a ship on it that belonged to his grandpa, and how his mama died when he was a little boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cMama, are you crying?\u201d she\u2019d asked.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, sweetheart, my eyes are just tired. It\u2019s very late and I need you to sleep so I can go back and sit with Aunt Fi.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Of course she\u2019d been crying. And the tears came again as she attempted to resume her reading. She closed the Bible in her lap and put her head in her hands.\u00a0 Adam, I never meant to hurt you. I didn\u2019t know what else to do. <\/em><\/p>\n

Though she had prepared herself, her heart was beating out of her chest when she heard his voice in the parlor, the voice that had existed only in her dreams for the past five years. And there he was, standing in front of her\u2014tall and lean, looking as though he hadn\u2019t aged a day. She willed herself not to faint though her insides were churning like butter.<\/p>\n

They were left alone to say the things that needed to be said. He was angry and hurt but civil as she would have expected.\u00a0 Still, there was something cold in him that she hadn\u2019t seen before.\u00a0 We\u2019re both different people now,<\/em> he\u2019d said. She couldn\u2019t disagree. She had no idea where he\u2019d been or with whom all these years, apart from Laura Dayton. It was certainly true that he would never have to beg favors from a woman.<\/p>\n

He was right about something else. She hadn\u2019t managed to keep James between them that night, no matter how much she\u2019d pretended.\u00a0 Her feelings for Adam had shaken her soul, upending everything she believed about herself. \u00a0She\u2019d lied to him that day, because the lie was more comfortable than the truth. She never imagined how it would one day come back to haunt her. That seemingly innocent lie took on a life of its own and of necessity became two, the second having the power to maim.<\/p>\n

Yes, she had loved Adam, and she knew she always would. She could have kept him in dreams if he hadn\u2019t come here. But those dreams were in pieces now, because he was here, and he wanted Adaline, not her.<\/p>\n

She shifted in her chair to ease the ache in her back and pulled the quilt around her.\u00a0 The room was cold.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Adam remained on the porch where Victoria had left him, numbed by her words. It wasn\u2019t exactly true that he had loved Moira, because the truth was, he had never stopped loving her. It was only pride that kept him from turning around the day he left, and she\u2019d been a ghost in his life ever since. She was the sunset; others after her had paled in comparison. He\u2019d even convinced himself he could be happy without a woman.\u00a0 But that was when he thought she was dead.<\/p>\n

Seeing her today, keeping a veneer of composure required every nerve in his body. Afterwards he had to take a walk just to breathe.<\/p>\n

Now Fate (or Divine Providence as his father would no doubt say) had given him a chance to set things right, and not only for Adaline\u2019s sake. He intended to use his persuasive powers to the best of his ability for as long as it took to make that happen.\u00a0\u00a0 The stakes were too high for pride or anything else to get in the way.<\/p>\n

At the very least, he had an influential ally.<\/p>\n

She appeared to be waiting for him when he came in.\u00a0 \u201cWould you think it too meddlesome of me to ask to you to take this up to Moira?\u00a0 She hardly ate any of her supper but said she would like some tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not.\u201d\u00a0 He had barely gotten the words out before Victoria placed the tray in his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. Fi\u2019s room is on the right at the end of the hall.\u201d<\/p>\n

He headed toward the stairs and stopped at the bottom. \u201cYou know, you remind me of my father sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. I once called him a conniving old pirate,\u201d he said with a grin, \u201cbut I don\u2019t think of you as old.\u201d<\/p>\n

She threw her head back and laughed.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Adam paused outside Fiona\u2019s room. The door was ajar, and he could see Moira in the chair; she appeared to be sleeping.\u00a0 He knocked softly but she didn\u2019t stir.<\/p>\n

He eased inside and deposited the tray on the bedside table, trying not to disturb either of the women.\u00a0 Turning to leave, he was surprised to hear his name.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are Adam Cartwright, no doubt,\u201d said Fiona, propped among the pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes ma\u2019m. I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t mean to wake you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t. I was looking forward to meeting you but I didn\u2019t expect it to be under these circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCircumstances aren\u2019t always under our control, are they? I\u2019m very sorry you\u2019re ill, Mrs. Worthington. Can I do anything for you? Would you like a cup of tea?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo tea, thank you; but you can get that chair from the corner and sit down and talk to me. Quietly, so we don\u2019t wake Moira. And please don\u2019t call me Mrs. Worthington.\u00a0 My friends just say Fi.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI could have picked you out of a crowd, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled and dipped his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the only other person who knew from the beginning that James wasn\u2019t Adaline\u2019s father, but Moira would never say your name. I knew she was protecting you as well as her child.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish she had come to me. I would have protected them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut she didn\u2019t, so you couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 The question is\u2014what are you going to do now?\u201d<\/p>\n

He glanced at Moira, still sleeping. \u201cI intend to marry her, as soon as I can convince her.\u00a0 I may need your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it merely because of Adaline, or do you love my sister, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo to the first question; and yes, to the second\u2014with all my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked him over and sighed deeply. \u201cJames loved her that way too. I told Moira he was her once in a lifetime, and she shouldn\u2019t expect to have it twice.\u00a0 But I guess I was wrong. You have my blessing, and I\u2019ll do whatever I can to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He covered her hand with his. \u201cThank you.\u00a0 Please get well.\u201d<\/p>\n

She coughed; he poured some water from the carafe on the table and helped her sit up to drink it.<\/p>\n

Moira raised her head. \u201cAdam, what are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does it look like? He\u2019s getting me a drink of water,\u201d said Fi.<\/p>\n

\u201cVictoria sent up some tea for you, but you were asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam and I were just having a chat in the meantime.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d Moira blinked, looking confused. \u201cI guess I don\u2019t have to introduce you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe tea is probably cold by now. I could take it to the kitchen and reheat it for you,\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not necessary; thank you.\u201d She was staring at him as though he was some kind of apparition.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then, I will bid you both a good night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can leave too, Moira,\u201d said Fi.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need anyone sitting up with me. I\u2019m feeling much better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFi, I don\u2019t think\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop fussing! Now go to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you are feeling better. I\u2019m too tired to argue with you anyway.\u201d\u00a0 She stood up and grimaced, putting a hand to her back.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything wrong?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine; that chair is not meant for sleeping. Goodnight, Fiona,\u201d she said, emphasizing her proper name in mock irritation, tempered with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood night, dear. Goodnight, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGoodnight, Fi,\u201d he grinned, closing the door behind them.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you and my sister become such good friends all of a sudden?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m so charming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you certainly charmed Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it was more the other way around. I\u2019m sorry we didn\u2019t get to finish our talk this afternoon, but maybe we could just start fresh tomorrow.\u201d He offered her a hopeful smile. \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

They were standing outside the room she shared with their daughter.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve missed you,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

She had one hand on the doorknob, and there were tears in her eyes. \u201cI have to go now. Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

He lingered at her door for a moment. Don\u2019t get ahead of yourself.\u00a0 Tomorrow’s another day.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Nine<\/strong><\/p>\n

Up with the sun as usual, Adam nearly stumbled into Adaline in the hallway outside his room.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning. Do you always get up this early?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s your mother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn Aunt Fi\u2019s room.\u201d<\/p>\n

He noticed her toes sticking out from under her nightgown. \u201cAren\u2019t your feet cold?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged. \u201cNot really. Where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I go with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you may not,\u201d said Moira behind him. \u201cWhat did I tell you just a few moments ago?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStay in bed,\u201d she murmured, her eyes cast downward.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen where should you be right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline turned and trudged toward her room with the solemnity of a funeral mourner, heaving an exaggerated sigh as she reached the door, though she never looked back.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s efforts not to laugh were in vain. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said to Moira. \u201cI know I shouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust please don\u2019t do it in front of her; you\u2019ll only encourage it. She\u2019s usually very good, but she\u2019s had a lot of people spoiling her lately and I think she\u2019s a little too full of herself. It will be easier on everyone once we move back home, which may be as early as next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard about your sister\u2019s house. I\u2019m glad no one was hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were very blessed.\u201d<\/p>\n

She was wearing her robe and gown, and her hair was down, the way he remembered it. \u201cYou still look pretty in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d She seemed embarrassed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no one here but us,\u201d he reminded her.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe door is open. Adaline might hear you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bet she thinks you look pretty in the morning, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Two adorable frown lines appeared between her brows. \u201cI thought you said you were going to the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you trying to get rid of me? All right, I\u2019ll go. I\u2019ll see you at breakfast, and afterwards, you and I are going to have that talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Emboldened by something in her eyes, he took her face in his hands and kissed her squarely on the mouth, leaving her with a look of absolute surprise. Satisfied, he turned toward the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter get back in bed, Princess,\u201d he called to Adaline.<\/p>\n

He chuckled at the sound of little feet running.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

\u201cI have a secret,\u201d Adaline whispered loudly to Jarrod at breakfast.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh? Do tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t, or it won\u2019t be a secret anymore.\u201d She twirled her fork and looked straight at Adam, who grinned and went on eating his eggs.<\/p>\n

\u201cEat your pancake, Adaline,\u201d said Moira, frowning, avoiding Adam\u2019s eyes. \u201cNo more talking until you\u2019re finished, and then we\u2019ll need to wash the syrup out of your hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline slumped in her chair with a sigh and took an unenthusiastic bite. \u201cI\u2019m done,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d said her mother. \u201cDrink your milk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira, you\u2019ve hardly touched your food,\u201d Victoria observed.\u00a0 \u201cAren\u2019t you feeling well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, just not very hungry, after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

There were voices in the foyer. \u201cIt\u2019s Joe and Mr. Cartwright,\u201d said Audra, smiling.<\/p>\n

Adaline perked up. \u201cMr. Ben\u2019s here!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou still have to finish your milk and get your hair washed,\u201d Moira reminded her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you two nearly missed breakfast,\u201d said Jarrod, rising to shake Ben\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe never misses breakfast.\u00a0 We ate at the hotel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCoffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, thank you,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can take it in the parlor,\u201d said Victoria. \u201cI think everyone is finished here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what brings you out here so early today?\u201d Audra addressed him with her brightest smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cCows.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe has generously offered to help move one of our herds up to the north pasture. We\u2019re another man short since Luke broke his arm,\u201d Jarrod explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d Her face fell.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s helping, too,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s nice,\u201d she said, suddenly disinterested. \u201cOh well, Moira and I plan to go into town anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAudra, I\u2019m not sure about that. I may need to stay close to Fi,\u201d said Moira.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe seems to be feeling much better this morning,\u201d said Victoria.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019ll be right here. Why don\u2019t you go? You can leave Adaline. I\u2019m sure Ben wouldn\u2019t mind spending some time with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d love to,\u201d he assured her with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, perhaps\u2026\u201d said Moira.<\/p>\n

Adaline nodded an enthusiastic yes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, then. I\u2019ll get the water heated for your bath. Excuse me, everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll help you,\u201d said Adam, following her out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can manage, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He caught her arm. \u201cMoira, wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what. I want to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, now. We may not see each other again until tonight, and I\u2019d like to get some things settled this morning. \u00a0It won\u2019t take long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u201d<\/p>\n

They stopped in the breezeway on the way to the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst of all, let\u2019s forget about yesterday. We\u2019re starting over today, agreed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAgreed,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMore importantly, we\u2019re going to be totally honest with each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, then. I want to get one thing straight between us, once and for all\u2014and that is, I love you, and you love me. I wasted five years of my life because I didn\u2019t say those words when I should have, and I\u2019m not wasting any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

She just stared at him, wide-eyed, her pretty pink mouth agape.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome here.\u201d He pulled her into his arms and delivered a deep, slow kiss until she nearly went limp.<\/p>\n

She pushed away from him, though still in his embrace. \u201cStop, I can\u2019t think. I can\u2019t even breathe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust breathe; don\u2019t think. What is there to think about, anyway?\u00a0 Are you gonna to stand there and tell me you don\u2019t love me? Well, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

She dropped her head. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

He lifted her chin. \u201cThen say it, Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

Tears streamed her cheeks and he brushed them away with his thumbs. \u201cWhy are you crying? You\u2019re not upset, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just not as simple as you think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut not as hard as you\u2019re making it out to be, I assure you. I have so much to make up to you. The first thing we\u2019re going to do is get married.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMarried?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course. Aside from the fact that we love each other, we have a beautiful child who needs both of us. It\u2019s time for us to be a family.\u201d\u00a0 He nuzzled her cheek and murmured into her ear. \u201cNext year, I want a son.\u201d<\/p>\n

She put a hand on his chest. \u201cYou\u2019re making me dizzy. I have to sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n

He led her to the bench and sat down next to her. \u201cYou do look a little pale.\u00a0 Are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just need a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAm I moving too fast?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bit. \u00a0And you shouldn\u2019t kiss me like that.\u00a0 Someone might see us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what?\u00a0 Everyone in this house knows I\u2019m Adaline\u2019s father; and it follows that they also know we\u2019ve done more than just kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, please\u2014you don\u2019t have to remind me. And Adaline doesn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry. I guess I do need to slow down.\u201d He rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the floor. \u201cYou have no idea what it was like for me, thinking you were dead.\u00a0 That first year\u2026,\u201d his voice trailed off, remembering.\u00a0 \u201cThat first year I nearly drank myself blind.\u201d He heard her suck in a breath. \u201cI know; it\u2019s hard to imagine. It\u2019s hard for me to say it out loud, but it\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat made you stop?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d gotten to the point where it was either die or get better.\u201d He\u2019d spare her the details of waking up in the dank storeroom of a Barbary Coast brothel with his head cracked open and his pockets emptied. \u201cI decided I didn\u2019t want to die after all. So I pulled myself together and went back East; worked as an architect, made a little\u00a0 money, invested that and made more money\u2014turns out I\u2019m pretty good at both, in case you\u2019re interested. \u00a0I learned to live with the losses in my life and accept the things I couldn\u2019t control.\u201d He paused with his palms pressed together underneath his chin. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019d been at war with myself for a long time, and I felt I\u2019d finally made peace with Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you come back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to see my father again, while I still had the chance. I didn\u2019t expect him to be in Stockton, though. Sure didn\u2019t expect to find you, much less a daughter.\u201d He offered her a small smile. \u201cThat\u2019s when the walls of my neatly ordered world came crashing down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I know how that feels.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I didn\u2019t handle it very well, but being angry was easier than admitting my fears.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGetting a second chance was more than I ever hoped for, but it also meant I could lose you all over again, and this time I had twice as much to lose. I\u2019ve always considered myself a strong man, but I\u2019ve become acutely aware of my limitations over the past few years. If I had to walk away from here now, empty-handed, I just don\u2019t know if I could start again.\u201d<\/p>\n

She slipped her hand into his as if to prove it wasn’t empty; he kissed it gratefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cI should have been holding your hand the day Adaline was born, and you should have had a ring on your finger,\u201d he told her. \u201cI realize how much pain that has caused you, and I\u2019m responsible for that. To say \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2019 seems almost meaningless.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never blamed you for anything, Adam. It grieves me knowing what you\u2019ve been through. There are things we would both change if we could, but we can\u2019t rewrite the past.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can still write our future.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how would you write it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it would go something like this.\u201d He pulled her to her feet and into his arms. \u201cNumber one, we\u2019d get married, the sooner the better. Number two, I\u2019d adopt Adaline so that legally she\u2019d have her rightful name. Number three, we\u2019d give her half a dozen brothers and sisters to keep her company. That\u2019s just for starters. What would you say to that?\u201d<\/p>\n

A gentle smile crossed her lips. \u201cI\u2019d say the man dreams big.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that all?\u201d<\/p>\n

She held his gaze for a long time without blinking, and then she put her arms around his neck. \u201cAdam Cartwright, I\u2019ll love you until I die.\u201d<\/p>\n

This time when he kissed her, he felt her move with him. His hands slid down the curve of her back, crushing her to him as her sigh rippled through him like a shiver.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we should stop,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

Reluctantly, they broke apart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess Joe\u2019s waiting for me, but I\u2019m never gonna get out of here if you keep looking at me like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned her head and smoothed her hair, hiding a smile. \u201cI really should tend to Adaline\u2019s bath.\u201d<\/p>\n

He finally forced his feet to move. \u201cI\u2019ll see you tonight, then. Don\u2019t be surprised if I bring the preacher back with me,\u201d he teased, leaving her with another quick kiss.<\/p>\n

He strode into the parlor, whistling.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about time,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, come on; let\u2019s go if we\u2019re goin\u2019,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

Joe threw up his hands. \u201cNow he\u2019s in a hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline was on Adam\u2019s heels. He turned and bent down to tweak her nose. \u201cSo long, Princess.\u00a0 Be a good girl today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou kissed Mama!\u201d Her announcement was delivered with a self-satisfied smile, and loud enough for everyone to hear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI surely did.\u201d He grinned at the others who were watching. \u201cI guess it\u2019s not a secret anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to ask how you\u2019re feelin\u2019 today,\u201d said Joe after they exited the house. \u201cWhat in the world happened with you and Moira last night? Or would it be ungentlemanly of you to answer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s just say I became privy to some information that put things in a whole new light.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe loves me, Joe.\u00a0 I had to drag it out of her but she finally admitted it. We\u2019re getting married.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo foolin\u2019?\u00a0 That\u2019s great news\u2014congratulations!\u00a0 When\u2019s the wedding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe haven\u2019t set a date yet, but soon. I don\u2019t intend to wait long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess it proves one thing,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce irresistible to women, always irresistible to women.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes. \u201cYou know, that joke was old three years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe offered him a lopsided grin. \u201cI guess it is time to put it out to pasture, especially since you\u2019re about to be off the market anyway. Seriously, Adam\u2014I couldn\u2019t be happier for you. It\u2019s amazing how things have worked out, after all this time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it\u2019s almost too good to be true, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

The words seemed to hang in the air like a shadow, and the in split second that followed something wormed in the pit of his stomach, just long enough for the sensation to register before passing namelessly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomethin\u2019 wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I\u2019ve never actually been this close to having everything I ever wanted. I guess maybe I\u2019ll be a little nervous until it\u2019s all nailed down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not superstitious, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know me better than that. I\u2019m just not taking anything for granted, that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Say, why don\u2019t you show me that bull I\u2019ve been hearing so much about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Ten<\/strong><\/p>\n

Moira waved to Adaline and Ben as she and Audra pulled out of the yard.\u00a0 \u201cI hope she\u2019s not too much trouble for him today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you worry too much,\u201d said Audra.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure Mr. Cartwright can handle her.\u00a0 He raised three boys by himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true, but he was younger then. She wears me out sometimes, especially lately.\u201d\u00a0 Moira was glad Audra had offered to drive the buggy.\u00a0 She shifted to find a comfortable position in the seat.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll be fine; besides, Mother is there. \u00a0Isn\u2019t it a beautiful day?\u00a0 It makes me feel good just to be alive on a day like this.\u201d Audra\u2019s sigh matched the look of contentment on her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you\u2019re certainly in good mood. Any particular reason?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, maybe. You\u2019re the one who should be in a good mood, from the look of things this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline told everyone about Adam kissing you, which he happily confirmed. In fact, he was practically walking on air when he left here with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 She tried to sound nonchalant, but she felt herself blushing.<\/p>\n

Audra laughed.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t always have to be so prim and proper, Moira. I saw the way he looked at you at breakfast, and the way you refused to look at him.\u00a0 I knew something was happening between you two even before Adaline spilled the beans, and I think it\u2019s so romantic that Fate brought you back together like this. I\u2019m so happy for you, really, for all three of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Audra. You don\u2019t know how much that means to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s pretty obvious you and Adam are meant for each other, but there was a time when I thought you might marry Jarrod. I guess it was mainly wishful thinking on my part, because I wanted you to be my sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira smiled.\u00a0 \u201cTo me, Jarrod is the brother I never had, and that\u2019s enough to make us sisters no matter what.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how I feel, and I\u2019m glad to know you feel that way too.\u201d\u00a0 She looked thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cSo if you marry Adam, then Joe and I would practically be related.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould that be a good thing, do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t yet decided, but I\u2019ll let you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Moira was leaving the Mercantile when she bumped into Mark on the sidewalk. \u00a0He managed to catch the package that toppled from her arms before it reached the ground. \u201cOops, pardon me. Here, let me help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was my fault; I guess I was daydreaming.\u201d She accepted the parcel from him with a smile. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy pleasure. What are you doing in town? I wasn\u2019t expecting to see you until this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAudra talked me into coming with her. I\u2019m actually on my way to meet her and Jarrod for lunch. Did you say this evening?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you forgotten about our dinner engagement? The one we postponed from last week when Adaline was sick. Jarrod was supposed to remind you yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

She drew in a breath and let it out with a sigh. \u201cOh, Mark\u2014I\u2019m so sorry. I did forget, and I suppose Jarrod did too. Fi took a bad turn yesterday afternoon and, well, it was a rather distressing day all around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear about your sister.\u00a0 How is she?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter today, but the doctor hasn\u2019t given us any hope for a long term recovery. Her heart is failing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the problem with hearts\u2014they are susceptible to damage,\u201d he said softly. \u201cI suppose this isn\u2019t a good night for dinner after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m afraid it isn\u2019t. By the time I get home it will be rather late, and after leaving Adaline all day, I just couldn\u2019t go out again. I hope you understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you join us for lunch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, but I have some business to take care of. Besides, that wouldn\u2019t be quite the same, would it?\u201d<\/p>\n

She bit her lip. \u201cNo, I suppose not.\u00a0 I am truly sorry, Mark.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no need to apologize, Moira.\u00a0 Naturally, I\u2019m disappointed as I was looking forward to our evening together, but I do understand the importance of family. We\u2019ll do it another time, at your convenience.\u201d<\/p>\n

His wistful smile and graciousness pricked her conscience even more. Mark was a good friend, and she wanted to be honest with him, but not here on the street.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about lunch tomorrow?\u201d \u00a0A casual noonday meal seemed a more appropriate setting for what she needed to say, and she was relieved when he accepted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll pick you up at 11:00,\u201d he promised. \u201cPlease convey my best wishes to Fiona.\u201d<\/p>\n

She watched him walk away, knowing there was no way she could keep from hurting him. The heat was giving her a headache, her corset was too tight, and suddenly she felt very cross.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

By three o\u2019clock the Barkley herd was grazing in the north pasture and the Cartwright brothers were in town seeking respite at the saloon.\u00a0 \u201cTwo beers,\u201d Joe told the barkeep. Adam eased into the chair with a delicacy he hoped his brother wouldn\u2019t notice. After being out of the saddle for so long, the last few days were catching up to him.\u00a0 He hitched his shoulders and grimaced at the kink in his back; then clasped his hands in front of him leaving his beer untouched.<\/p>\n

Joe took a long swallow, eyeing him over his mug.\u00a0 \u201cYou want somethin\u2019 stronger?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; what I\u2019d really like is a hot bath and a rub down with some of Hop Sing\u2019s liniment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOut of practice, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat and old age.\u201d The twelve years he had on Joe were no longer an advantage, and they both knew it. He picked up his mug, sipping the contents without enthusiasm. He\u2019d all but given up drinking, and even beer had lost its appeal.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, I can\u2019t remember the last time you and I trailed cattle together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEastgate.\u201d Adam reminded him.<\/p>\n

Joe winced. \u201cI guess you would remember that. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo need to be. That was at least a couple of lifetimes ago.\u201d\u00a0 Another ghost he\u2019d laid to rest.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what\u2019s next,\u201d asked Joe, changing the subject, \u201caside from marrying your lady love? I hope you\u2019re planning to move back to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 It would mean the world to Pa, and we could use you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nowhere else I\u2019d rather be right now.\u00a0 How is Pa, really?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t like to admit, but he has slowed down over the past couple of years. The winter was hard on him; Paul says it\u2019s his rheumatism. \u00a0I think he\u2019s having trouble with his eyes too, at least with close work.\u00a0 I found some mistakes in the books he wouldn\u2019t have made a couple of years ago. When I pointed it out the first time it frustrated him so much I didn\u2019t mention it again.\u00a0 I\u2019d really like to ease him away from that but Hoss and I both worry that it\u2019ll make him feel like he\u2019s not needed.\u00a0 I think he\u2019d be willing to turn them over to you, though, especially in exchange for more time with his granddaughter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he\u2019s worked hard his whole life, and I wouldn\u2019t expect him to just do nothing even though he\u2019s earned the right. He won\u2019t be happy unless he\u2019s productive. I\u2019m sure there are things he can do to keep busy enough and still have time for grandchildren.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGrandchildren?\u201d Joe smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI certainly don\u2019t want Adaline to grow up alone.\u00a0 She needs at least a couple of snot-nosed brothers to boss around, like I had.\u201d Adam dipped his fingers in his beer and flung the foam toward Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou better watch out, old man. Remember, I\u2019m younger and faster.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need reminding, thanks. Well, I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m ready for a tub.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, me too.\u201d Joe downed his beer and pushed up from the table behind Adam, and that\u2019s when he noticed the man at the bar.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfternoon, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark,\u201d Joe said curtly. \u00a0\u201cThis is my brother Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark Van Alstyne,\u201d he introduced himself as he shook Adam\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you do?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t I see you at Jarrod\u2019s office yesterday?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe we passed each other, yes. Jarrod said you\u2019re an old friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had the privilege of meeting Joe and your father over dinner with the Barkleys earlier this week.\u00a0 I hear you\u2019ve been away for quite a while. How long are you planning to stay in Stockton?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHowever long it takes to finish my business here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I would offer to buy you gentlemen a drink but it seems I\u2019m too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, we\u2019re on our way out,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, I won\u2019t keep you.\u00a0 Good day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam followed Joe onto the sidewalk. \u201cSo, what\u2019s your problem with him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have a problem with him, but you might.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? I don\u2019t even know him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in love with Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that a fact?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cApparently they\u2019ve been seeing each other socially.\u00a0 According to Jarrod, he\u2019s been pretty persistent, but she wasn\u2019t interested in anything beyond friendship. That seemed pretty obvious to me at dinner. Of course that was the night she heard you were planning to come to Stockton, and she spilled her drink all over the table and left in tears. \u00a0He was pretty disappointed when she didn\u2019t come back downstairs. The next day was Adaline\u2019s birthday party; Moira was too busy for him, and he left mad. I don\u2019t think anybody saw him but me, but he was mad, all right. If you ask me, there\u2019s somethin\u2019 phony about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think he knows about Moira and me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder. I thought he looked at me kind of funny when you introduced us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that I think he\u2019s gonna cause trouble or anything; I just thought you should know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, thanks for the information.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

\u201cMama, you\u2019re home!\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira set her packages on the table in the foyer and bent down to exchange a hug and a kiss with her exuberant daughter. \u201cWere you a good girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs good as gold,\u201d Ben assured her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had a picnic on the porch, and we saw the colt again, and the baby chicks; and Mama, there are four kittens in the barn!\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled. \u201cIt sounds like you had a lovely day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh. What did you bring?\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira straightened up and removed her bonnet. \u201cFabric to make you some new dresses since you\u2019re growing out of your old ones, and some ribbons for your hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s enough, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you ask me what I brought?\u201d Adaline turned her hopeful gaze to Audra, who pulled a small sack from her purse. \u201cWhat\u2019s our favorite?\u201d<\/p>\n

She giggled. \u201cLemon drops.\u201d<\/p>\n

Audra smiled. \u201cThere\u2019s plenty here to share with everyone. Come on, little sister, you can help me put my things away and then we\u2019ll have some.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira called after her. \u201cYou\u2019re as bad as your brothers, you know; you\u2019re all making her rotten.\u201d\u00a0 She turned to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for watching her today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, my dear, thank you.\u201d His tender tone matched his smile.<\/p>\n

There was a quiet strength in that expressively handsome face which she found comforting, and when he kissed her on the cheek she felt the prick of tears. What was it about this endearing man that always seemed to make her want to cry a little?<\/p>\n

Victoria descended the stairs, passing Audra and Adaline on the way up.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve just checked on Fi,\u201d she told Moira. \u201cShe\u2019s had a good day.\u00a0 We had lunch al fresco, on the veranda, and I\u2019m pleased to say she ate very well. She asked me to send you up when you have a moment. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fi\u2019s eyes were closed but she opened them when Moira eased onto the bed. \u201cI must have dozed off for a second. Victoria was just here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad you felt well enough to go down for lunch.\u00a0\u00a0 Adaline called it a picnic.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt felt like a picnic after being cooped up here. Victoria had everything set so beautifully, and Ben helped me up and down the stairs and attended to my every need. He\u2019s such a fine gentleman.\u00a0 Did you know he\u2019s had three wives?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Adam mentioned it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline adores him, and it\u2019s easy to see how he feels about her. He\u2019ll be a wonderful grandfather\u2026and father-in-law.\u201d She lifted a questioning brow. \u201cYou are going to marry Adam, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira smiled. \u201cIs that what you think I should do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter what I think.\u201d Fi shook her head with a slight frown. \u201cI should never have tried to push you and Mark together. It was wrong of me, and I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right. You meant well. You\u2019ve always wanted the best for me, and I\u2019ve never doubted it. What would I do without you?\u201d\u00a0 The last words caught in her throat and she felt the start of tears again.<\/p>\n

Fi clasped Moira\u2019s hands. \u201cMore than you think. You are an amazing woman. I know because I\u2019ve watched you. I wouldn\u2019t have had the strength to do what you\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was only because you were there to help me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou helped me more than I helped you. I was lost after Charles died. You were working a farm, and you might have even stayed if not for Adaline.\u00a0 I needed you here. You raised your child without a husband and took care of me and hardly batted an eyelash.\u201d<\/p>\n

The tears were flowing freely now and Moira made no attempt to stop them. \u201cFi, what about all those years you took care of me after Mama died?\u00a0 Do you think I could ever forget that? You\u2019re more than my sister, you\u2019re my best friend. I love you so much and I don\u2019t want to lose you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, my sweet Morrie,\u201d Fi whispered, bundling her into her arms. The pet name from her childhood made Moira cry even more.<\/p>\n

She sat up a moment later and accepted her sister\u2019s handkerchief. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t mean to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fi smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a strong woman with a tender heart; you cry, and then you go on. It\u2019s people like you who keep the world turning. And now you\u2019ll have Adam by your side. I can\u2019t tell you what a comfort that is to me. Will he be here tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about that handsome brother of his?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Joe will be here, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, if I was twenty years younger I might set my cap for that one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cYou might have to fight Audra for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, is that how it is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how it is for him, but apparently she thinks it\u2019s her decision.\u201d \u00a0Moira squeezed her sister\u2019s hand. \u201cDo you think you\u2019ll come down for dinner, or would that be too much?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d love to come down, but I think I might need a nap first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, you rest. I\u2019ll come back later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira paused at the door to say something else, but Fi\u2019s eyes were closed again. She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. Sometimes it seemed that for every earthly joy there was nearly always a sorrow not far behind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Eleven<\/strong><\/p>\n

A lively dinner gave way to a quiet evening.\u00a0 Jarrod escorted Fi back to her room and excused himself to work on a legal brief, leaving Joe and Audra engrossed in a game of gin rummy while Moira and Adaline listened to Adam read \u201cOld Mother Hubbard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched his oldest son with a lump in his throat.\u00a0 It was a sight he\u2019d wondered if he would ever see, and it still seemed too good to be true.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey make a lovely family, don\u2019t they?\u201d \u00a0Victoria observed.<\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cYes, they certainly do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose we\u2019ll be losing them to the Ponderosa soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, nothing is official yet, but I expect so.\u201d Adam had privately indicated their intentions to marry, and though hopeful, Ben had not pressed him about where they would live.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s as it should be. It\u2019s going to be rather lonely around here for a while though. It\u2019s funny how quickly you can get used to something, or someone,\u201d she said wistfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019m not mistaken, Victoria, it\u2019s the same distance from Stockton to Virginia City as it is from there to here\u2014and if I can make the trip, I\u2019m sure you could too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that an invitation, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course it is. You\u2019re welcome anytime for as long as you like.\u201d<\/p>\n

She regarded him thoughtfully. \u201cI\u2019ve always wanted to see your ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019d love to show it to you. You just say when and we\u2019ll make it a holiday. You know, Adaline needs a grandmother too, and I\u2019d be willing to share. What would you think of that?\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled. \u201cI think it\u2019s an offer I can\u2019t refuse. And who knows, we might even have something more in common one of these days.\u201d She directed his attention to Joe and Audra, laughing together.<\/p>\n

Ben shrugged and grinned. \u201cWho knows?\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

That night, Adam carried Adaline upstairs to bed. Her eyes were already closed when her mother tucked the covers around her and kissed her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI still can\u2019t get over her,\u201d said Adam, lingering over his daughter\u2019s face in slumber. \u201cI\u2019m trying to picture what she must have been like as a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe came into the world wailing at the top of her lungs, hungry,\u201d Moira laughed.\u00a0 \u201cThe doctor said she was the finest, healthiest baby he\u2019d ever seen. He was so proud you\u2019d have thought he\u2019d done more than just deliver her. But she was definitely yours, no question.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had the easy part. You did all the work.\u201d He put his arm around her. \u201cI wish I had been there. For both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted you there,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cI wanted to be able to put her in your arms so you could see what a perfect child you had. But Adam, we shouldn\u2019t dwell on the things we\u2019ve missed.\u00a0 We should just be grateful for what God has restored to us. Some might call it Fate, you coming here now, but I see His hand in this; and He is so good.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled at her. Moira had a faith like his father\u2019s; Adam envied them. \u201cWould you care to take a walk with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d love to.\u201d<\/p>\n

A full moon lit the garden path where they paused to admire the stars.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been waiting for this all day,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n

He caught her by the waist and kissed her. \u201cThat\u2019s what,\u201d he murmured. His lips moved to the soft flesh of her neck, a spot just below her ear. \u201cYou are entirely too kissable, did you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAm I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMm hm.\u201d He stopped her mouth with another kiss, allowing his hands to roam. She drew in a quick breath and stiffened. \u201cSorry, I guess I got a little carried away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not you; it\u2019s this new corset. It pinches.\u201d She frowned and put a hand to her side.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know how to fix that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, but no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know why you think you need a corset anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s because you\u2019re a man. Besides, I\u2019ve had a baby and things aren\u2019t exactly what they used to be. You should prepare yourself to be disappointed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only way you could ever disappoint me would be to leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess that\u2019s settled then.\u00a0 Look at my face, and tell me what you see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her smile was soft, her eyes shining in the moon glow. He caressed her cheek with his fingers. \u201cI see my wife, the mother of my children; \u2026the rest of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I want you to see.\u201d<\/p>\n

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. \u201cThen there\u2019s no reason for us to wait to get married, is there?\u00a0 Please say no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are things I think we should talk about first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike what?\u201d<\/p>\n

She slid out of his embrace. \u201cLike where we\u2019re going to live, for one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can stay in Stockton for a while if necessary, for your sister\u2019s sake, but eventually I want to go back to the Ponderosa and build a house for us. I\u2019ve got a lot of ideas I think you\u2019ll like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re planning to be a rancher?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have a role in the operations, yes.\u00a0 It is a family business, after all.\u00a0 I may also do some architectural design on my own.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have a comfortable life, even apart from my investments.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not worried about that, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you\u2019re worried about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t say I\u2019m worried; I\u2019d just like to know what to expect. You said yourself the Cartwrights have no privacy in Virginia City. I\u2019m wondering what people will think when you come home with a ready-made family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll think I\u2019m a lucky man to have married a beautiful woman with an adorable child, and they\u2019ll be happy for us. Most them, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe rest\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe way you simplify things\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that complicated, Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to admit, it would be easier if Adaline didn\u2019t look so much like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we can\u2019t change that, can we?\u00a0 People are going to think whatever they want to think. And there will always be some who can\u2019t hold their tongues. I know this from my own experience, and we won\u2019t be able to control any of that. But none of it matters to me as long as we\u2019re together.\u00a0 If you decide you\u2019re not happy in Virginia City, we can go somewhere else, anywhere in the world. I\u2019m not tied to the land the way my father and brothers are. I\u2019m tied to you, and to Adaline, and whoever else comes along. That\u2019s how I feel.\u00a0 What about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled. \u201cMy home is wherever you are, and if you\u2019re happy, I know I will be.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pulled her back into his arms, locking his hands behind her. \u201cWell now, is there anything else standing in the way of our marital bliss? You just let me know and I\u2019ll take do my best to take care of it. Your wish is my command.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure you want to give me that kind of power? It might go to my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou already have it, and don\u2019t pretend you don\u2019t know,\u201d he grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got an idea. Why don\u2019t I take you and Adaline on a picnic tomorrow, and afterwards, we can get serious about planning this wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I can\u2019t, not tomorrow. I have something I need to take care of.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMust be pretty important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes it have anything to do with Mark Van Alstyne?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked surprised. \u201cHow\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe told me about him. He introduced us when we were in town this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s just a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA friend who happens to be in love with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Joe tell you that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Look, I understand you had a life here before I showed up. You could have told me. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat else did Joe say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEnough to let me know he doesn\u2019t care for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, no offense to your brother but I don\u2019t think he has known Mark long enough to make a qualified judgment about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou obviously know him much better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs I said, he is a friend, a good friend.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t trying to keep anything from you, Adam; it\u2019s just an awkward situation, and I really didn\u2019t want to discuss it with anyone out of respect for that friendship. I have to hurt someone I care about, and that\u2019s a terrible feeling, especially knowing I\u2019m partly to blame.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you ever give him any reason to think you returned his feelings for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve asked myself that over and over, and I can honestly say no.\u00a0 But I should have paid closer attention to the way things were going. I was selfishly negligent in that regard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be too hard on yourself.\u00a0 It\u2019s not your fault he fell in love with you, and I can\u2019t say I blame him. I know you\u2019ll let him down gently, and I\u2019m sure one day he will remember you fondly for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed. \u201cI hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen are you seeing him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s picking me up for lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you meet me at the hotel afterwards and I\u2019ll take you home. Then we can talk about the wedding. How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Adam\u2014why are you smiling like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I was just remembering the first time I saw you, up on that ladder trying to paint your house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid I wasn\u2019t much to look at that day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou looked like an angel to me.\u00a0 Still do.\u201d<\/p>\n

A corner of her mouth turned up. \u201cI\u2019m no angel, just a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLucky for me. Have I mentioned I love you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot since this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another kiss ended with their bodies molded together in the sweet ache of longing. \u201cAdam, we\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

He put two fingers to her lips.\u00a0 \u201cWe can\u2019t keep doing this, I know. \u00a0It\u2019s gonna drive me crazy until we\u2019re married.\u00a0 Can you be ready in three days?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree days? You must already be out of your mind. I\u2019d need at least a month.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA month!\u00a0 You can\u2019t be serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven a simple wedding takes time to get all the arrangements in place. I need to make my dress, and also one for Adaline, plus I have to finish some alterations for paying customers before that. I can\u2019t just snap my fingers and have it all done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo weeks,\u201d he countered. \u201cI\u2019ll take you to San Francisco and buy you a dress, one for Adaline too, and whatever else you need.\u201d He leaned in and whispered in her ear. \u201cTwo weeks and we won\u2019t have to say goodnight like this anymore.\u201d \u00a0He squeezed the back of her thigh and kissed her again, harder this time, conveying his physical desire in the boldest of terms.<\/p>\n

She pushed away from him, breathless, with a hand on her middle. \u201cTwo weeks, but you don\u2019t play fair.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d rattled her, just as he\u2019d meant to. \u201cYou know what they say\u2014all\u2019s fair in love and war.\u201d He planted a chaste kiss on her brow and smiled. \u201cSweet dreams, my lovely.\u201d I know what I\u2019ll be dreaming about.<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam kept a leisurely pace on the ride back to town, as he was in no hurry to go back to an empty hotel room. It was Moira\u2019s idea and he had to admit it was for the best. Practical, sensible, beautiful, sensual Moira\u2014in two weeks she would be his wife. Was it only yesterday he said he didn\u2019t need a one? A man could be such a fool sometimes. The promise of nights to come brought a smile to his lips as he recalled the one they\u2019d spent making Adaline.<\/p>\n

His senses wrapped in memory, he didn\u2019t hear the snap of brush or the shuffle of hooves from the shadows. Only the crack of a rifle shot that jolted him from the saddle.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Ben put down his book and went to the window for another look at the street.\u00a0 It was empty, and the whole town seemed to be sleeping, which is what one would expect at this hour, unless one happened to be waiting for a wayward son to appear.<\/p>\n

Joe lay on the bed with his arm over his eyes. \u201cPa, will you quit worrying?\u00a0 Adam\u2019s a big boy.\u00a0 He probably just changed his mind about stayin\u2019, that\u2019s all. I wouldn\u2019t blame him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face was set in a frown. \u201cMaybe, or maybe he\u2019s had trouble.\u00a0 How would we know?\u00a0 He said he wouldn\u2019t be far behind us. I took him at his word.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the only way to know for sure is to track him down, and we\u2019re just liable to wind up lookin\u2019 foolish and makin\u2019 him mad. You know how he feels about people crowding him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know.\u00a0 But I\u2019ve got a bad feeling about this, and I\u2019d rather risk Adam\u2019s anger than his welfare.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you\u2019re right.\u201d Joe sat up and yawned.\u00a0 \u201cNeither one of us is gonna get any sleep tonight anyway, with you pacing like that. I\u2019ll go get the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think that will be necessary now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe joined him at the window.\u00a0 \u201cLooks like you were right, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam plodded into view, slouched in the saddle, his left arm close to his chest. They met him outside the hotel and eased him to the ground.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d he assured them. \u201cIt\u2019s not as bad as it looks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll let the doctor decide that,\u201d Ben said sternly.<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy with the shoulder,\u201d Adam groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think it\u2019s broken?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, just dislocated, I think. Head hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like that gash might need to be stitched,\u201d said Ben. \u201cTake his hat, Joe. What in the world happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomebody took a shot at me. Missed me but spooked the horse and he threw me. I was out cold for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, somebody didn\u2019t miss you by much.\u00a0 Look at this.\u201d\u00a0 Joe poked his fingers through two holes in the crown of Adam\u2019s hat. \u201cAny lower and we wouldn\u2019t be havin\u2019 this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor, wearing his nightclothes, ushered them into a back room and examined Adam\u2019s wounds.\u00a0 The shoulder was not broken, the joint maneuvered back into place with a swift and excruciating effort and the arm immobilized with a sling.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cYou can expect a lot of bruising and swelling on that left side,\u201d he told him.\u00a0 He cleaned the gash on his forehead and closed it with three small stitches. \u201cYou probably have a concussion, Mr. Cartwright, so no strenuous activity for the next few days, and that includes riding. Are you married?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood\u2014none of that either, in case you\u2019re wondering. I would advise you to stay in bed at least through tomorrow night. Longer would be better but that\u2019s probably expecting too much from a man like you. I\u2019ll give you something for your headache. It will help you sleep and that\u2019s what your body needs to heal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, doctor.\u00a0 We\u2019ll make sure he stays put,\u201d said Ben, ignoring Adam\u2019s irritated frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need you to tuck me in, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard what the doctor said. We\u2019ve been through this before and you know what to do. Where do you think you\u2019re going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to talk to the sheriff. Somebody tried to kill me, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right, Pa, he needs to give a statement.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

The sheriff listened and took notes. \u201cYou say you weren\u2019t robbed, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right. Nothing was taken.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know of anyone in town who might have a grudge against you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve been here long enough to make any enemies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a friend of the Barkleys, I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, they\u2019re fine folks in my book, but they\u2019ve also had their share of bad blood with a few people around here over the years, especially Nick. \u00a0Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEither way, sheriff, somebody tried to commit a murder.\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

The sheriff frowned, examining the holes in Adam\u2019s hat. \u201cSure looks that way. And you didn\u2019t see anyone?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you, I was out cold as soon as I hit the ground.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much I can do with that. I\u2019ll talk to Jarrod in the morning and see if they\u2019ve had any trouble out there lately. In the meantime, I\u2019d keep an eye out if I were you, in case you were the target.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for the tip,\u201d Adam muttered as they were leaving.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get back to the hotel,\u201d said Ben.\u00a0 \u201cWe could all use some sleep. Joe, in the morning you can ride out to the Barkleys and tell them what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI don\u2019t want Moira to hear it from anyone but me. I don\u2019t want to upset her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not supposed to ride, remember?\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but she\u2019s coming into town tomorrow and said she\u2019d meet me at the hotel in the afternoon.\u00a0 You talk to Jarrod in his office, and let me handle her. I want her to see that I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Adam. Maybe you\u2019ll be willing to stay in bed if you have a pretty nursemaid to convince you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Twelve<\/strong><\/p>\n

Moira\u2019s mind had resisted every effort to put it to bed after Adam left, only allowing for snatches of sleep that left her achy and fatigued the next morning. The man had probably slept like a log. She recalled with faint amusement the look on his face when she said needed a month to prepare for their wedding.\u00a0 Two weeks was really enough, but she\u2019d let him think he won that argument. She wondered how many she would actually win in the course of their marriage. \u00a0He had proven to be quite a force, and it had taken every ounce of her resolve not to succumb to it. \u00a0But she didn\u2019t want to think about that now.<\/p>\n

The restless night showed in her face when she looked in the mirror. She was dreading the day ahead, and even a light breakfast didn\u2019t sit well on her nervous stomach. She wished she had thought to tell Mark she would meet him in town, but it was too late now. He said he would pick her up at eleven which meant he would be there at five minutes before the hour. Punctuality was a priority for him and he was never late, always preferring to be early and err on the side of caution, as he once explained.\u00a0 Though he afforded her grace in that area, Moira had learned it was best not to keep him waiting.<\/p>\n

Mark arrived as expected, and she went out to meet him.\u00a0 He smiled as he took her elbow and escorted her to the buggy. \u201cYou look lovely today, Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

She thanked him, though she didn\u2019t feel the compliment was warranted.\u00a0 Mark, on the other hand, looked as handsome as she\u2019d ever seen him. She supposed she was no different from any other woman in that it was the first thing she\u2019d noticed about him when they met. He was tall and sinewy, with a finely sculptured face, high cheekbones beneath a pair of wide-set green eyes that seemed tinged with sadness even when he smiled. The sadness was warranted, she\u2019d learned, as his wife had died shortly after their only child was stillborn. Perhaps that was why he always seemed a little uncomfortable around Adaline. \u00a0Though he tried his best, the two never really hit it off.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpringtime in the valley,\u201d he mused. \u201cIt\u2019s beautiful this time of year. Did you notice the stars last night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d She blushed, pushing away the memory of Adam\u2019s wanton kisses.<\/p>\n

The buggy lurched over a bump in the road, her stomach with it. The annoying pinch in her side still plagued intermittently, though not from the corset, she\u2019d discovered during the long night. She took out her handkerchief and pressed it to her forehead to wipe the sweat from her brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you feeling all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine; it\u2019s just warmer than I expected. Mark, why are we turning?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you don\u2019t mind a quick detour. There\u2019s something I\u2019d like to show you, but only if you\u2019re up to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

His smile pierced her heart a little. \u201cOf course,\u201d she replied.\u00a0 She owed him that much, at least.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later they pulled into the well-kept yard of a modest farmhouse. \u201cWho lives here?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. The bank foreclosed on the property last year, and I bought it a couple of months ago with the idea of fixing it up to sell. I still have a lot of work to do but figured I could live in it in the meantime. I kept my room at the boarding house until this week.\u201d He sprang from the buggy with the grace of a cat and came around to her side. \u201cCome on, I\u2019ll show you around.\u201d<\/p>\n

He put his hands on her waist to lift her down, and the pain in her side caused her to cry out and fall against him.\u00a0 \u201cMoira, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

She took a breath to steady herself. \u201cJust a stitch in my side, but it\u2019s gone now. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so. You\u2019re as pale as a ghost. Let\u2019s get you out of the sun.\u201d He swung her into his arms as if she were a feather before she could protest. Inside the house, he sat her in a chair with instructions not to get up while he went into the kitchen. A moment later he returned with a damp cloth which he placed on the back of her neck.\u00a0 \u201cPut your head down and close your eyes if you still feel faint. I\u2019m going to bring you some tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was back right away with a cup. \u201cIt\u2019s a Chinese herbal tea, said to restore balance to the body. I drink it every day. It\u2019s better laced with whiskey, but that wouldn\u2019t do for you, so I used honey instead. I hope it\u2019s all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

The tenderness in his face was almost more than she could bear, so she concentrated instead on the tea.\u00a0 \u201cThank you. It\u2019s good.\u201d She took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair. So far the day hadn\u2019t gone as she\u2019d planned.<\/p>\n

\u201cFeeling better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I am. I feel a little foolish though.\u201d<\/p>\n

He patted her hand reassuringly. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you finish your tea, and rest a bit longer. I\u2019m going to put some things away in the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sipped the sweet brew and looked around the room. It was sparsely furnished but neat and clean, a reflection of Mark\u2019s fastidious nature. The man\u2019s boots were always shined and a hair never out of place. The pictures on the mantle were the only d\u00e9cor.\u00a0 She got up to take a closer look.<\/p>\n

There was a handsome full length portrait of Mark in his army uniform. He\u2019d been very proud of his service, and it showed in his bearing and resolute countenance. A smaller tintype next to it depicted an older woman, most likely his mother. \u00a0At the other end of the mantel a gilded frame lay on its face, and Moira picked it up. It was a wedding portrait.\u00a0 The groom\u2019s\u00a0 features displayed the vigor of youth beneath a mass of careless curls, with an ease of expression commensurate with the happy occasion. It was a version of Mark she had never known. The woman on his arm was named Helen, she recalled.<\/p>\n

She shuddered for no apparent reason. Somebody just walked over my grave.<\/em> That\u2019s what Fi would have said. Moira set the picture upright on the mantel; her eyes went back to the woman, and then her hand went to her mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s uncanny, isn\u2019t it? I suppose I should have mentioned it.\u201d\u00a0 Mark\u2019s voice made her jump, and she turned. \u00a0\u201cThe first time I saw you, I could hardly believe how much you looked like Helen. Even the way you wear your hair.\u201d He reached out to touch it.<\/p>\n

Her heart was pounding as she backed away from him, dizzy, and not just from fear. \u201cMark, I think we need to leave now. Please take me back to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira, dear\u2014you\u2019re in no condition to go anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

His face wavered in front of her along with the room, and she felt her body go limp. Someone caught her just as the world went dark.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Thirteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam woke to the low murmur of voices as shadows became slivers of light. \u00a0He peeled open his eyes to a blinding headache. His hand went to his forehead and he fingered the bandage there, groaning at the recollection of the night before.<\/p>\n

His father leaned over him with a look of worry that was somehow comforting in its familiarity. \u201cHow do you feel, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

He grimaced as he shifted his weight away from his bad shoulder and attempted to sit up. \u201cLike I\u2019ve been run over by a mule team and hit with a sledgehammer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy now.\u201d\u00a0 Ben propped a pillow behind him for support.\u00a0 \u201cYou were out for quite a while, but the doctor said that would be the best thing for you. Here, drink this.\u201d\u00a0 He handed him a cup of water.\u00a0 \u201cWould you like something to eat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, maybe.\u201d\u00a0 He was more thirsty than hungry. \u201cWhat time is it, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNearly three o\u2019clock,\u201d said Joe. \u201cYou were sleeping like a baby, and we just didn\u2019t have the heart to wake you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHas Moira been here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t seen her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI sure thought she\u2019d be here before now. Did you talk to Jarrod?<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but he couldn\u2019t tell me anything. Maybe that\u2019s her,\u201d said Joe, referring to the knock at the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want her to see me like this.\u201d Adam slipped from the covers and eased his feet to the floor. \u201cHand me my shirt, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, let me help you,\u201d said Ben. \u201cThough it\u2019s not something she hasn\u2019t seen before, is it?”<\/p>\n

Adam endured his father\u2019s amused look in silence as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.<\/p>\n

Joe opened the door just enough to peer into the hallway. \u201cRelax, it\u2019s only a couple of Barkleys. Come on in. Rip Van Winkle is just waking up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about time,\u201d said Nick.<\/p>\n

Adam acknowledged him with a smirk. \u201cWell, look what the cat dragged in. When did you get back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAround noon. Boy, you look like you\u2019ve been rode hard and put up wet.\u201d Nick\u2019s affable expression grew somber. \u201cGlad you\u2019re still around to talk about it. You didn\u2019t see anyone?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope. The sheriff suggested that whoever it was might have mistaken me for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod spoke up. \u201cI know it\u2019s possible, but Nick and I have been talking and don\u2019t think that\u2019s the case, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t know anyone here who would want to kill me. Do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t say I do. Meanwhile I\u2019m looking into something that may just be a coincidence but I don\u2019t want to name any names.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe cut in. \u201cI\u2019ll give you a name\u2014Mark Van Alstyne. \u00a0I don\u2019t think it\u2019s any secret that he\u2019s in love with Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod and Nick exchanged glances. \u201cThat\u2019s hardly evidence for bringing charges against someone,\u201d said Jarrod, \u201cbut the man has had his share of trouble, of which I was not aware until Nick told me today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of trouble?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI ran into an army buddy in Sacramento,\u201d Nick explained.\u00a0 \u201cWe swapped stories over a few drinks and I found out he served with Mark after I mustered out.\u00a0 He seemed surprised that I knew him and asked how he was getting along. Apparently Mark had some sort of breakdown after his wife died. \u00a0She never liked the army and didn\u2019t want him to reenlist, and he felt guilty about being away so much. \u00a0Anyway, he got word she was ill and went home.\u00a0 My buddy Jenks said the next he heard she\u2019d died in a fire and Mark had been medically discharged. I told him that was news to me, since Mark told us his wife had died in childbirth. \u00a0Jenks said there were conflicting stories about that but according to some people who knew Helen Van Alstyne, she\u2019d had a miscarriage shortly before she died.\u00a0 The biggest problem with that sad fact is that Mark hadn\u2019t been home in over a year.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s some homecoming.\u00a0 What about the fire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was curious about that so I looked up the newspaper account.\u00a0 It was ruled accidental, supposing she must have knocked over a lamp in the bedroom. Apparently Mark tried to save her but couldn\u2019t. He was nearly done in by the smoke. Unfortunately, there wasn\u2019t much left of Helen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u201cI can understand the man wanting to keep certain things private, but why wouldn\u2019t he just say she died in a fire instead of lying about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJenks said when he visited Mark in the hospital he didn\u2019t remember the fire. \u00a0Maybe he didn\u2019t want to remember any of it. Jenks said he was like a different person, nothing like the cocksure lieutenant he knew in the army. The way his hands were shaking it was hard to remember he was once the best sharpshooter in Company B.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSharpshooter.\u201d\u00a0 Joe spat the word.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Nick.\u00a0 I rest my case. Care to rebut, Counselor?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is such a thing as circumstantial evidence, you know,\u201d Jarrod reminded him. \u201cBut I intend to speak to Mark as soon as I can find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had been listening quietly until now. \u201cWhat do you mean as soon as you can find him?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t he in town?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t seen him. I checked the boarding house and Mrs. Lowry said he hasn\u2019t been there in a couple of days although he\u2019s paid through next week. He may be out on a surveying job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Adam\u2019s heart was racing and his mouth had gone dry. \u201cHe\u2019s got Moira.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod looked alarmed. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was supposed to bring her to town today for lunch.\u00a0 She wanted a chance to talk to him and tell him about us, said she would meet me here afterwards.\u00a0 But she hasn\u2019t shown up; wherever she is, she\u2019s not there of her own free will, I\u2019m sure of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, that tears it!\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cI\u2019ve felt all long there was something wrong about that guy.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to the sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m right behind you.\u201d Scowling, Nick followed him out the door.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled his boots on with considerable effort using mostly his right hand.\u00a0 His head felt as though someone was pounding an anvil in his brain.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you think you\u2019re going?\u201d asked Ben<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know but I\u2019m not sitting here.\u201d\u00a0 He squinted one eye toward Jarrod.\u00a0 \u201cSo where are we going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo the bank.\u00a0 Mark had an office there for a while. Maybe we can find someone who can give us an idea where he might have gone.\u00a0 We should probably send someone back to the ranch to check on things. If nothing else we might be able to track them from there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you go. I\u2019d like for you to be with Adaline.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t get a lead here we\u2019ll meet you there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease just do what I asked, and don\u2019t try to stop me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBelieve me, I know better. I just want you to be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n

The anxious look on his father\u2019s face softened him. \u201cI will, I promise. I\u2019ve got plenty of reasons to do just that. Take care of my little girl until I bring her mother back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Fourteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mercifully, the pain had subsided; at least the worst was over. She\u2019d never imagined bringing new life into the world could hurt so much. She supposed she\u2019d been na\u00efve about the whole thing, not knowing what to expect. “You have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, Mrs. Dolan,” the doctor was saying. “Your husband would be very proud.”\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Not my husband. \u00a0Oh Adam, what have we done? She looks like you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam\u2026no\u2026mustn\u2019t say his name. Not ever.<\/em><\/p>\n

His hand on her cheek brushed the dream away, but her relief fled with recognition. Mark was dressed in his army uniform, just like the picture on the mantle.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d His voice was cordial, his expression inscrutable.<\/p>\n

Moira tried to sit up but fell back against the pillow, weak as a kitten.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did you do to me?\u201d The question was merely a whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just gave you something to help you relax, that\u2019s all. It\u2019ll wear off in time, no harm done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted you to listen to me for once, Helen. If you had listened that night we wouldn\u2019t be in this situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira\u2019s heart filled her throat but she tried to remain calm. \u201cI\u2019m not Helen, Mark. Look at me. I\u2019m Moira, don\u2019t you remember?\u00a0 Helen is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stared at her as though he hadn\u2019t heard a word. \u201cWe were so good together in the beginning.\u00a0 You knew I loved you. You also knew I loved the army. Why couldn\u2019t you have been like the other wives? Why couldn\u2019t you have loved me enough to wait for me? If only you\u2019d been patient; I would have given you everything I had when my time was up. But I guess even that wouldn\u2019t have been enough. My mother warned me that I\u2019d never be able to keep you satisfied.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark, please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t you understand that I had a duty to perform? I had needs and desires too, and more opportunities than you might think, but I was faithful to you because you were my wife! How many men have had you besides Adam Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re all mixed up. I\u2019m not your wife. It\u2019s me, Moira!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t play games with me, Helen. I saw the two of you together last night\u2026the way he kissed you, with his hands all over you.\u00a0 I could have killed him easily, but I left him with a warning instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d She was beginning to feel cold and sick from terror.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind. The point is you belong to me and no one else.\u201d\u00a0 He sat down on the bed and she tried to move away from him but he pinned her arms.\u00a0 \u201cYou shamed me, Helen, hurt me more than you\u2019ll ever know, and God help me, I still loved you even after I found out. We could have started over if you had only listened to reason. But you went right back to him. Your little dizzy spell today is certainly not on my account, is it? Well, maybe you\u2019ll lose this one too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re insane.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I am you\u2019ve driven me there. You are my wife. It\u2019s past time you learned that I\u2019m the only man who has a right to you. I can exercise that right at will, and there is nothing to stop me.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pulled her to him and bruised her mouth with an angry kiss, freeing her arms enough for her to claw his face.\u00a0 He drew away from her in surprise before fastening his hands on her neck, his eyes slits of rage, lips curled in a snarl.<\/p>\n

Moira struggled for breath, finding none. Life was such a fragile thing\u2026<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Fifteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

A further check of the boarding house yielded nothing but a vacated room, however, the bank visit turned up a valuable nugget.\u00a0 The Cartwright and Barkley brothers, along with Sheriff Ed Thompson, headed north toward the old Whitley place, recently deeded to one Marcus Aurelius Van Alstyne.<\/p>\n

The party of five split up on approach. Jarrod and the sheriff continued to the main entrance while the other three veered away to come in from the back.\u00a0 \u201cStay out of sight unless you\u2019re needed,\u201d the sheriff instructed them. \u201cYou\u2019ll know.\u201d<\/p>\n

The pounding in Adam\u2019s head had subsided to a dull ache, persistent but bearable. His shoulder hurt more than he cared to admit, throbbing in tandem with his horse\u2019s hoof beats.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re lookin\u2019 a little green around the gills, brother,\u201d said Joe, eyeing him warily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine; don\u2019t worry about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nick pulled up beside him and handed him his canteen. \u201cHere, you need this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you two, my nursemaids all of a sudden?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes and sighed. \u201cWill you just drink the damn water, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s brows shot up but he obeyed while Nick looked on, grinning. \u201cThe kid\u2019s all right, isn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess he is.\u201d\u00a0 Adam replaced the cap and tossed the canteen back to him, along with a wry smile directed at Joe. His younger brother returned it with a shake of his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the way, congratulations on becoming a father,\u201d said Nick.\u00a0 \u201cJarrod filled me in. It\u2019s a pretty amazing coincidence, you and Moira winding up here together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks. I keep pinching myself to make sure I\u2019m not dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a peach, and so is Adaline.\u00a0 We\u2019re all crazy about her, especially Jarrod. He loves that little girl like she was his own. He\u2019d have married Moira in a heartbeat, but obviously that wasn\u2019t meant to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m grateful to him for everything he\u2019s done for both of them. But take it from me, wanting to be a father is no reason to marry without love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Jarrod would agree with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pondered the implication. \u201cYou mean\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s just leave it there,\u201d said Nick. \u201cIt\u2019s water under the bridge anyway.\u00a0 You know what else is amazing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat we both survived that night at Barbary Red\u2019s when we tried to drink each other under the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen was that?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind,\u201d said Adam. \u201cSomething\u2019s burning; I smell smoke.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo do I.\u201d Nick frowned.\u00a0 \u201cThis way.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

An acrid smell lured Moira back to consciousness; she gulped air and coughed, her bruised throat aching with the effort. The room was hazy and Mark was gone.\u00a0 He\u2019d tried to kill her. She put a hand to her neck, shuddering at the memory and then shaking it away. She needed every nerve at her command. The house was burning and she had to get out.<\/p>\n

Moira rolled from the bed and stumbled to the door. Smoked poured from underneath it, and the knob was too hot to touch. The only other way out was the window, but it was nailed shut. She looked frantically around the room for something to break it; the chamber pot in the corner was heavy enough if she could muster the force. She slipped it into a pillow case and swung it as hard as she could through the glass, shattering it. With the quilt from the bed to protect her from the jagged remnants, she climbed through the opening and dropped to the ground.<\/p>\n

She was at the back of the house and had no idea where Mark was; her first priority was to get away from the fire and out of sight. Winded by her previous efforts, she abandoned the heavy quilt and stumbled toward a stand of trees. Moira nearly cried when she saw the spring house, for she hadn\u2019t noticed it before, nestled far back in the shadows. As soon as she reached it, she opened the door and fell inside.<\/p>\n

Resting her cheek against the cool stone floor, she breathed in the earthy scent and focused on pulling air into her lungs. The pain in her side was a dull ache pulsing with her heartbeat.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t fear death but she wasn\u2019t ready to die.\u00a0 She wanted desperately to live, for Adaline and for Adam, her two loves.\u00a0 She closed her eyes and prayed that someone besides Mark would find her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Sixteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

The house was a roaring inferno as it came into view, with flames licking the roof and leaping from every opening. Adam struggled to no avail against the combined strength of Joe and Nick, who held him firmly in place.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can do, Adam.\u00a0 If she\u2019s in there, she\u2019s already gone.\u201d His brother\u2019s face was filled with anguish.<\/p>\n

Joe was right, of course.\u00a0 Adam felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest as he watched the burning structure heave and collapse onto itself like a house of cards. His knees buckled and he would have fallen if not for the two men at his sides. \u00a0The nightmare of his last three years was now a reality.<\/p>\n

He was only vaguely aware of Jarrod and Sheriff Thompson when they joined them.\u00a0 \u201cIt went up too quick to be an accident,\u201d the sheriff was saying.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a murder if Moira was inside.\u201d Nick\u2019s brows were drawn together in an angry line. \u201cAny sign of Mark?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod shook his head, \u201cNo, but we found his horse, so I\u2019m guessing he\u2019s still here somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnless he was in the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s here,\u201d said Adam, shaking the fog from his brain.\u00a0 \u201cHe knew I\u2019d be coming. I figure he wants me.\u00a0 Well, I want him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll get him if he\u2019s around here,\u201d Sheriff Thompson assured him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said I want him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want him too,\u201d said Jarrod. \u201cBut Adam, we\u2019ve got to do this according to the law. Besides, we don\u2019t know for a fact that Moira was in the house. He could have her somewhere else. Or maybe she got away. She could still be alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019d really like to believe that. God help me, so would I, but…\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod\u2019s jaw was set. \u201cI have to believe it, until it\u2019s proven otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam felt Joe\u2019s hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 All he could do was nod.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, let\u2019s spread out. Stay under cover as much as you can.\u201d The sheriff swiveled his head toward Joe. \u201cMaybe you oughta stick close to your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly, I don\u2019t need a keeper,\u201d Adam growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnderstood,\u201d said Joe. \u201cBut you wouldn\u2019t mind if I tag along with you, for old time\u2019s sake, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSuit yourself. Just don\u2019t get in my way.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned toward his horse but Joe planted himself in front of him. \u201cAdam, I know how you feel, believe me, I do. Van Alstyne will get what\u2019s coming to him, one way or the other, but don\u2019t be a fool. Just remember who\u2019s waiting for you to come home when this is over.\u00a0 Adaline needs her father now more than ever. \u00a0Don\u2019t you think that\u2019s what Moira would say?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline didn\u2019t even know he was her father. They hadn\u2019t had time to become a family.\u00a0 Adam blinked away the fierce tears assaulting his eyes. \u00a0Joe was right again. If Moira was here she\u2019d be telling him the same thing.\u00a0 He massaged his forehead and expelled a shaky breath. \u201cYou\u2019re not gonna give up, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t if it was me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled a little.\u00a0 \u201cI swear, you sounded just like Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe’s lips twitched in a faint grin. \u201cWell, I guess some of him was bound to rub off on me sooner or later.\u201d<\/p>\n

A rifle shot echoed beyond them, followed by an exchange of gunfire.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s smile faded to a grim line. \u201cI guess he got tired of waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Joe and Adam found Nick crouched behind a wagon near the barn.\u00a0 \u201cHe got Ed from the loft,\u201d he told them, nodding toward the sheriff\u2019s body lying at the edge of the yard. \u201cIt\u2019s an all-out war now. He\u2019s not gonna let us take him alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess he figures he\u2019s got nothin\u2019 left to lose,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he still up there?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCall out to him, see if he answers.\u00a0 Just get him talking if you can, distract him while Joe and I try to get around behind him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u201d\u00a0 Nick cupped a hand near his mouth. \u201cMark!\u00a0 It\u2019s Nick Barkley!\u00a0 You need come in before somebody else gets hurt or killed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo home, Nick.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have anything against you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam motioned to Joe, and the two of them backed away and out of sight while Nick continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you have against Ed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just gonna wing him but he moved the wrong way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Adam Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mark didn\u2019t answer right away. \u201cIs he with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you laid him up good last night. What\u2019s your beef with Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been messing around with my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right. I caught them together last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour wife is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe is now. But killing him would have been too easy. I want him to suffer first. I want him to know what it\u2019s like to lose someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark, you\u2019ve got it wrong. You\u2019re not thinking straight. There\u2019s been enough killing.\u00a0 Put your gun down and come in with me.\u00a0 You hear?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot happening.\u00a0 Besides, I can\u2019t trust you, Nick. I know Cartwright\u2019s here. And this won\u2019t be over until he and I are both dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Moira jumped when she heard the first shot, and the exchange that followed obviously meant someone else had come.\u00a0 Could it be Adam? As much as she wanted him, she knew he wouldn\u2019t be safe here as long as Mark was around. The shots came from somewhere near the house, she reasoned, far enough away for her to step out and take a look without risking her own safety.<\/p>\n

The door creaked when she pulled it open, and she froze when she heard footsteps approaching. With the door ajar she backed into a dark corner and held her breath. A shadow appeared at the entrance.<\/p>\n

\u201cJarrod!\u201d she cried, falling into his arms, trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira? Oh thank God, you\u2019re alive! Sweetheart, are you all right?\u00a0 Did he hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her words tumbled out in a stream. \u201cHe\u2019s out of his mind. He thought I was Helen. He tried to kill me. I woke up and the house was on fire. I broke a window and got away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood girl. Are you sure you\u2019re all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think so. I heard shooting. Is Adam here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark wants to kill him, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the odds are against that since there are five of us, with Nick, Joe, and Sheriff Thompson.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs Adam all right? Mark said something about warning him last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe got a little banged up when his horse threw him, but he\u2019ll be all right, especially now.\u201d\u00a0 Jarrod smiled. \u201cIt was hard not to think the worst, but honestly, I\u2026I just couldn\u2019t imagine a world without you in it.\u201d He dropped his eyes and loosened his hold on her. \u201cI think you\u2019ll be all right here, so stay put for now\u2014don\u2019t come out. I\u2019ll be back to get you when I know it\u2019s safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJarrod?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease be careful. I wouldn\u2019t want anything to happen to you either.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira sank against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to stop shaking.\u00a0 Please God, keep them safe.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Seventeen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Van Alstyne\u2019s vantage point gave him a clear view of the main road and what was left of the house, and no one could get into the barn without alerting him. But he couldn\u2019t be in two places at once, Adam reasoned, and if one of them could divert his attention maybe the other could make it in and take him. The question of \u2018who\u2019 was settled in Adam\u2019s mind, but Joe was ready to debate it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the one he wants,\u201d Adam reminded him.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll come down if he thinks it\u2019s the only way he can get me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam, you\u2019re not a hundred percent, and you know it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with my gun hand.\u00a0 Besides you\u2019re a lot faster on your feet than I am. \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but\u2026how long has it been?\u201d<\/p>\n

It had been more than three years, he had to admit. But it didn\u2019t matter. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about that.\u00a0 Just keep him busy and don\u2019t let him get you. I\u2019m counting on you to come out of this in one piece.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be fine,\u201d said Joe. \u201cI\u2019ll have Nick to back me up. You watch yourself, and remember what we talked about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will.\u201d\u00a0 Adam put a hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder, locking eyes with him solemnly. \u201cWait for my signal, and then take off running.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe answered with a nod. Adam slipped around the back of the barn to the opposite side. He took aim the high window and fired a single shot.<\/p>\n

The shattering glass pulled Van Alstyne away from the loft opening long enough for Joe to make it to the well where he could draw fire from cover. So far, so good.<\/em> Since the back door was bolted from the inside, the only way in was through the front.\u00a0 Adam eased around the corner, stealing low and close to the wall as bullets sailed back and forth above him. Joe was holding up his end, allowing him to slip in the entrance unnoticed.<\/p>\n

Adam made a quick survey of the interior. The loft spanned the width and roughly a third of the length, extending to a narrow landing down the left side.\u00a0 He could hear Van Alstyne above him but he wouldn\u2019t be able to engage him without a line of sight. Climbing the ladder to the loft was too risky. He\u2019d have to get him onto the landing somehow, or better yet, get him to come down.<\/p>\n

The horseshoe on the wall was just within Adam\u2019s reach. He lifted it from the nail, careful not to make a sound, and then tossed it against the back of the barn. Footsteps scraped overhead as Van Alstyne moved to investigate the noise. Adam remained in the shadows as the man came into view. He wore the uniform of an army officer and carried a revolver in his hand. Clearly he was a soldier on a mission, however twisted.<\/p>\n

It would have been easy to take him then. But Adam wanted Van Alstyne to see his face before he sent him to Hell.\u00a0 He stepped into the dim light. \u201cOver here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Van Alstyne whirled, and the two men fired almost simultaneously. Adam watched his opponent tumble from the landing and hit the ground with a sickening thud. The barn seemed to tilt, and he had to steady himself against the wall to stay upright.\u00a0 When his head cleared, Joe was at his side, and there was a fresh pain in his bad shoulder as his brother probed it gently.\u00a0 \u201cIn and out\u2014you got lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet, but on his way,\u201d said Nick.<\/p>\n

Van Alstyne, gut shot, was barely breathing. Adam leaned over and addressed him with loathing.\u00a0 \u201cWhy did you kill Moira? What did she ever do to you except try to be your friend?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoira?\u201d He looked confused for a second as if he couldn\u2019t remember. \u201cYou mean Helen.\u201d He coughed and licked his lips.\u00a0 \u201cI warned her.\u00a0 I told her\u2026no one else would ever have her.\u201d A corner of his mouth turned up in a weak attempt at a smile. \u201cYou may have won the battle, Cartwright\u2026but I won the war.\u201d \u00a0The words took his last breath, and the light faded from hollow eyes as Adam looked on, defeated and bitter.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he didn\u2019t,\u201d said Nick, but Adam didn\u2019t hear what he was saying.\u00a0 He was thinking of Adaline, waiting for her mother. How was he going to tell her she would never be coming home?<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d Joe was like a gnat at his ear, nudging him. “Adam.”<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

Nick motioned them to the entrance and pointed. \u201cLook.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam blinked once, then again, to assure himself he wasn\u2019t dreaming.\u00a0 Because his mind told him that what his eyes were seeing was impossible. And yet, there was Jarrod, and Moira was with him.<\/p>\n

She met him as he ran to her, and they embraced, falling to their knees together as he kissed her face over and over until he was dizzy but still unwilling to let her go.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are real, aren\u2019t you?\u201d he whispered, afraid if he looked away for even a moment she might be gone.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery much so.\u201d \u00a0Tears spilled from the most beautiful blue eyes he\u2019d ever seen. He flinched when she touched his shoulder, and his blood was on her hand when she pulled it away. \u201cOh, Adam, you\u2019re hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just a scratch. I\u2019ve been hurt worse shaving,\u201d he laughed, pulling her closer.\u00a0 The laugh became a sob, and he couldn\u2019t stop it. \u201cMoira, I thought…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. It\u2019s all right, I\u2019m here.\u201d\u00a0 She consoled him as a mother would a child, with sweet assurances and tender touches. \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s over now.\u201d<\/p>\n

The adrenaline that had propped him up all afternoon was gone, his last reserves fading with the remains of the day as smoky twilight swallowed the sun. Someone put him in a wagon, and he didn\u2019t even remember the ride back to town. When he opened his eyes, Moira\u2019s hand was on his cheek and she was smiling at him.<\/p>\n

He reached up and touched a strand of hair that had fallen around her face. \u201cI was afraid I had dreamed you, but here you are; my angel once again.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked skeptical.\u00a0 \u201cIf you think I\u2019m an angel, you must be dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I am, I don\u2019t want anyone to wake me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll wake up soon enough once the doctor starts pokin\u2019 that shoulder,\u201d said Nick.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, let\u2019s get you inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Eighteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Mr. Cartwright, I can see you didn\u2019t take my advice about staying in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had important business to attend to. It couldn\u2019t wait.\u201d Adam gritted his teeth as Dr. Key poured whiskey into the wound.<\/p>\n

\u201cPretty serious business, from the looks of things, with two people headed to the undertaker.\u00a0 You\u2019re a lucky man. Still, that shoulder\u2019s going to be sore for some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can live with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can if you keep it clean and take it easy for a few days. I\u2019m sure you know the routine. And remember, you still have a concussion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll remind him if he forgets,\u201d said Joe. \u201cWon\u2019t we, Nick?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t know about you but I\u2019ve got better things to do than play nursemaid to a lovesick cowboy. I figure Moira can handle that from now on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019d much prefer it that way,\u201d Adam declared, \u201cno offense.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nick grinned. \u201cNone taken.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is she, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe said she needed to step out for a minute,\u201d said the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cI think she got a little squeamish when I started working on you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cWould one of you please find her and make sure she\u2019s all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJarrod\u2019s checking on her,\u201d said Nick.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Jarrod found Moira in the next room, bent double in the chair, her shoulders heaving. It wasn\u2019t a surprise, considering the weight of everything that had happened. She had certainly earned the right to tears.<\/p>\n

He knelt next to her. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, honey. You go ahead and cry if you need to, but don\u2019t worry; Adam\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded but didn\u2019t look at him. He noticed her white- knuckle grip on the arm of the chair. \u201cMoira, what\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019m going to be sick.\u201d<\/p>\n

He grabbed a basin and placed it in her lap, then wet a cloth to wipe her face, devoid of color. Even her lips were pale.<\/p>\n

She drew a sharp breath and clutched her stomach, stifling a cry.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold on; I\u2019m getting Dr. Key.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor had just come from Adam\u2019s room. \u201cLet\u2019s have a look at you now, Moira.\u201d \u00a0He removed the basin and placed his stethoscope on her chest.\u00a0 \u201cHow long have you had this pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMostly today. Up to now it was just a twinge here and there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did that start?\u201d\u00a0 He placed a hand on her forehead and frowned.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree or four days ago, I\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny nausea?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe a little; more of a nervous stomach; but nothing like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLoss of appetite?<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Jarrod.\u00a0 \u201cShe has hardly eaten anything the past few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to need you to lie down so I can conduct a more thorough examination. Jarrod, help me get her to the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Moira doesn\u2019t know what she\u2019s in for.\u00a0 She\u2019ll toughen up quick when she marries into this family,\u201d quipped Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat can\u2019t come soon enough for me.\u201d There was a muffled cry from the next room.\u00a0 Adam stood up. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on in there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll find out,\u201d Joe promised. \u201cKeep him here,\u201d he said to Nick.<\/p>\n

Another cry, clearly a woman\u2019s, ragged with pain.\u00a0 Adam started for the door but Nick held him. \u201cYou heard the man. You\u2019re stayin\u2019 right here. Sit down. He\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe met Jarrod in the hallway. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with Moira?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s her appendix.\u00a0 The doctor says he needs to operate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe says it can\u2019t wait. Tell Nick to ride out to the ranch and let the others know what\u2019s happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

\u201cAppendix? Why on earth didn\u2019t she say something?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe said she didn\u2019t want to make a fuss,\u201d said Jarrod, looking perturbed.<\/p>\n

Dr. Key emerged from the surgery room. \u201cI\u2019ve given her a shot of morphine, so she\u2019s settling down now. Jarrod, she\u2019s asking for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam frowned and chewed his lip, remembering what Nick had said. More specifically, what he\u2019d implied.\u00a0 Just leave it there,<\/em> he\u2019d said.<\/p>\n

Joe tried to reassure him. \u201cCome on, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s not personal. I mean, they are good friends, but that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod returned a few moments later. \u201cIt\u2019s your turn, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that about, if you don\u2019t mind my asking?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttorney-client privilege; and I do mind.\u00a0 You\u2019d better get in there before she goes to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira greeted him with a drowsy smile.\u00a0 The purpling bruises on her neck left no doubt where Mark Van Alstyne\u2019s hands had been. The man had almost succeeded in keeping them apart forever.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello beautiful,\u201d he murmured, kissing her cheek. \u201cCan\u2019t take my eyes off of you for a minute, can I? Not that I\u2019d ever want to. Why didn\u2019t you tell someone you were sick?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to be such a bother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo need to be sorry; it\u2019s not your fault, just a little bump in the road. As soon as you\u2019re back on your feet, we\u2019re gonna have that wedding even if I have to plan it myself.\u00a0 Then all you\u2019d have to do is show up. What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdaline\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s fine. You can see her tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026she doesn\u2019t like oatmeal, but she\u2019ll eat it with honey. No strawberries\u2026they make her itch\u2026.\u201d Her eyes were closing.<\/p>\n

\u201cSweetheart, you don\u2019t need to worry about Adaline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot worried. You\u2019ll be a wonderful father.\u00a0 Adam, I love you\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, too, and I\u2019ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Nineteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

The surgery couldn\u2019t have gone better according to the doctor. In fact, Dr. Key seemed pretty proud of the fact that he had removed Moira\u2019s appendix intact, and there were no visible signs of infection. He expected her to awaken within the hour.<\/p>\n

Instead, one hour became two, and then three, dragging on throughout the night and the next day, and then the next. The doctor, perplexed and troubled, could offer no explanation, only sympathy and platitudes. Adam heard phrases like \u2018hope and pray\u2019 and \u2018she\u2019s in God\u2019s hands\u2019 while all he could do was sit by and watch the woman he loved fade like morning dew.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s hands could be equally kind and cruel.\u00a0 Moira said it was the hand of God that brought them back together. Why bother if He only intended to take her away?<\/p>\n

His father was attentive and empathetic but had no answer beyond what Adam expected. It wasn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe honest, Pa. After all you\u2019ve been through, do you still believe in a loving God and that everything happens for a reason?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI believe some things happen that only God can make sense of, and that He can use even the worst situation for good, in time.\u00a0 He sometimes puts us on a path we would never choose to bring us to a place where we can see His goodness and grace. We may not understand His methods and we may even chafe against them, but He asks us to trust him and believe in something beyond today.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m afraid I just don\u2019t have your faith.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMine won\u2019t do you any good.\u00a0 What happened to yours?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t know what I believe anymore.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, it\u2019s easy for a man to lose his way, and much harder to find his way back, especially when he\u2019s not inclined.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re angry and grieving, but I also know that Moira would want you to try, for your sake and for Adaline\u2019s. From what I know of her, she was certainly a woman of faith.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, I am angry, and I wish you wouldn\u2019t talk about her like she\u2019s already gone.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, son.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

The way he looked when he said it was hard to bear. Adam turned his face away. \u201cI\u2019m just not ready for that yet, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u00a0\u00a0 Where there is life, there is always hope.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Hope. For something that seemed so fragile, it was hard to kill and more often than not, harder to find. Sometimes a man had to dig for it with his bare hands, or claw his way up to it until his fingers were nothing but blood and bone. And then sometimes it seemed to appear out of nowhere, staring back at him from the face of a four-year-old who, even amid the darkest hours, could find joy in something as simple as a ladybug on a daisy petal.<\/p>\n

Another day was dying in the West, and from the window Adam watched the waning sun dissolve into spectacular bands of gold and crimson on the horizon.\u00a0 Red sky at night, sailor\u2019s delight; a fair weather sign.\u00a0 He flexed his shoulder. It was healing.<\/p>\n

He turned to light the lamp on the bedside table where Adaline\u2019s daisies drooped in a jar. Mama can see the flowers when she wakes up<\/em>. She was so confident when she\u2019d said it, so tender in the way she\u2019d kissed him. He had somehow managed to smile and hold his tears until Pa took her away.<\/p>\n

A soft knock at the door announced the presence of a visitor, who didn\u2019t wait to be invited in. Jarrod, unshaven and disheveled, looked as though he’d slept in his clothes. \u201cI hope I\u2019m not intruding.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cNot at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny change?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNone that I can see. You look like hell. Why don’t you pull up a chair?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jarrod didn\u2019t respond; instead he paused at Moira\u2019s bedside with his head bowed during the awkward silence that stretched between them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like a moment alone?\u201d<\/p>\n

He jerked his head around, almost as if he was startled to find someone else in the room. \u201cNo, I uh, just came by to give you this.\u201d\u00a0 He handed Adam an envelope.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a codicil to Moira\u2019s will, naming you Adaline\u2019s guardian in the event of her death.\u00a0 She asked me to draw it up, though she wasn\u2019t able to sign it, so technically it\u2019s not valid.\u00a0 But I have the signatures of two witnesses, including the doctor, confirming they heard her state her wishes verbally and that she was of sound mind. No one will ever contest it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam withdrew the paper and read it. Remembering those moments he had begrudged Jarrod just before the surgery, he found it hard to meet his friend\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wanted to make sure the two of you would always be together, just in case. You are Adaline\u2019s father, and it\u2019s only right.\u201d\u00a0 Jarrod turned his attention back to Moira, who appeared lost to the world as he bent to kiss her brow. \u201cYou said she was in love with a memory, and that much was true,\u201d he murmured, straightening. \u201cBut the memory was you.\u201d He left the room and closed the door softly without looking at Adam.<\/p>\n

Moira\u2019s hand was cold, and Adam rubbed it gently between his palms before removing the ring from his pocket and placing it on her finger.\u00a0 \u201cIt was the best I could find on short notice, but I figured you wouldn\u2019t mind. I don\u2019t need a preacher to tell me what I already know in my heart\u2014that you are my wife in every way that matters. And I will always honor and cherish you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I promise I\u2019ll be a good father, may God help me.<\/em><\/p>\n

He kissed her and sat down in the nearest chair to resume his vigil.\u00a0 Outside, the dusky shadows deepened to the blue-dark of evening as the first stars appeared. Adam slept, and night fell.<\/p>\n

Softly, as if on angel wings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

EPILOGUE<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

June 1868<\/em><\/p>\n

It was a day of blue skies, bouquets, and mixed emotions.\u00a0 Spring had bowed to a gentle summer\u2014golden days bedecked with poppies and yarrow, tarweed and baby blue-eyes, and the scent of wild rose and lilac.<\/p>\n

Ben clutched Adaline\u2019s hand, escorting Victoria up the hill with his free arm.\u00a0 They paused near the top where they could see the valley.\u00a0 Above them, their families had gathered\u2014Jarrod; Audra; Nick; Heath; Joe; and Hoss, newly arrived from Virginia City\u2014mostly silent as they too were watching.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor everything, there is a season,\u201d murmured Victoria, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d agreed Ben. A time to be born and a time to die.<\/em>\u00a0 Adaline tugged at him, and he picked her up, their eyes on Adam below. He faced away from them, toward the cemetery.<\/p>\n

A moment later, Moira joined him. He held her hand as they climbed the hill together. Adaline squirmed from Ben\u2019s arms and bounded toward them as they approached.<\/p>\n

\u201cFi would be so happy.\u201d Victoria embraced a tearful Moira.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know. I only wish she could have been at the wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve no doubt she was there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moira was still in her bridal gown. The wedding party had gone directly from the church to the cemetery where her sister had been buried the day before so that she could place her bouquet on the grave.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his dewy-eyed daughter-in-law. She\u2019d worn her hair down at Adam\u2019s request, and she\u2019d never looked lovelier. That was as it should be. A woman is most beautiful when she\u2019s in love.<\/p>\n

Side by side they watched a giggling Adaline dodging Adam\u2019s playful attempts to tickle her with a stalk of lupine.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod is good, isn\u2019t He?\u201d Ben drew his arm around Moira, and she leaned against him.<\/p>\n

“Amen and amen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline scurried behind Ben to escape her father. Adam took Moira\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cMy turn now.\u201d He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, not once, but twice, then whispered something to her. She hid her face in his chest, laughing softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain?\u201d said Adaline.<\/p>\n

Ben chuckled.\u201cI think you\u2019d better get used to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d said Adam, \u201cbecause I intend to kiss your mother every day for the rest our lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

She pursed her lips into a smirk, raising an eyebrow at Ben. \u201cAre you going to be my grandpa?\u201d<\/p>\n

He scooped her into his arms once more. \u201cAdaline, my love, I am your grandpa\u2014now and always.\u201d<\/p>\n

A smile spread across her face.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean ever after?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nuzzled her nose with his. \u201cI mean ever, ever after!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adaline Spencer Dolan became Adaline Spencer Cartwright the day her father married her mother.\u00a0 The judge declared it so.\u00a0 John Adam Cartwright arrived nine months and two days later. He had dark hair and a deep-dimpled grin, and his eyes were as blue as an October sky.<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam made good on his pledge to give Adaline half a dozen siblings, and she helped raise her six brothers along with several Cartwright cousins, the sons and daughters of her uncles Hoss and Joe. Today, there are people all across this country and on five continents who can trace their DNA back to Grandpa Ben, some of whom reside within the thousand square miles of the erstwhile Ponderosa ranch.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

And their story continues<\/em>\u2026.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

Next in this series:\u00a0From Shadows <\/a><\/p>\n

Author’s note: The Princess and the Pea was written by Hans Christian Anderson in 1835. Shakespeare’s quotes were from A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Much Ado About Nothing. All works cited are public domain.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a complete, up to date list of my stories, check out<\/strong>\u00a0JC’s Author Page<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: \u00a0<\/strong>Adam Cartwright, Angst, APM, Ben Cartwright, ESA, homecoming, JAM, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright, SAS<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Three years ago Adam left the Ponderosa for parts unknown, and now Ben finally gets the news he has been praying for \u2013 his firstborn is coming home. However, an unexpected reunion in Stockton isn\u2019t the only surprise fate has in store for the Cartwrights. (A Bonanza\/Big Valley crossover story and sequel to More Than a Memory)<\/p>\n

Rating: T 35,257 words<\/p>\n

More than a Memory Series, links to all stories included within.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10253,"featured_media":3216,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1016,24,23,3,13,40],"tags":[894,944],"class_list":["post-19450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-pa","category-crossover","category-drama","category-romance","category-whn","category-challenges","tag-bltnc","tag-the-big-valley","wpcat-1016-id","wpcat-24-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-3-id","wpcat-13-id","wpcat-40-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/WoF-37Edengirl.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10253"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19450"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19450\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}