Summary:\u00a0 Joe faces a difficult time in his life.<\/p>\n
Rating K (5,985 words)<\/p>\n
Time to Let Go Series<\/strong>:<\/p>\n Time to Let Go<\/a> <\/p>\n Time To Say Goodbye<\/strong><\/p>\n Joe Cartwright slowly dismounted from his horse and frowned at the sight of the buggy in the front yard.\u00a0 He recognised it instantly as belonging to Paul Martin, their local doctor.\u00a0 Paul had been their family doctor for years \u2026. in fact since before Joe himself had even been born \u2026. and was now semi-retired.\u00a0 His two younger partners did most of the doctoring around these parts, but Paul liked to keep his hand in for some of the less urgent cases and those whom he\u2019d known for a long time.\u00a0 He was also a great friend of Ben Cartwright\u2019s and they spent many hours together playing chess and generally reminiscing about old times.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tied up his horse and took off his hat to run his fingers through his hair.\u00a0 It was much greyer now than it had previously been \u2026 a sign of middle age he told himself ruefully when he looked in the mirror each morning. Still, it was as thick as it had always been and there was no chance of him losing it at this stage.\u00a0 His father\u2019s hair was snow white now and Ben laughingly reminded Joe at regular intervals that years of raising him had been the cause of it, but they both knew that a great deal of it had been brought about by the tragedies that had come upon them both during these past years.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Joe walked towards the house he thought as he often did how much this place never changed.\u00a0 For as long as he could remember the ranch had remained the solid comforting home that he knew.\u00a0 He\u2019d been born in one of the bedrooms upstairs and he knew that The Ponderosa would be his final resting place too, for he was too connected to this place to ever leave it now. It was in his soul and there was nowhere else on earth that he belonged.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He sighed.\u00a0 The house and the land that surrounded it might always remain the same, but the people within it \u2026 those that he loved dearly had all moved on in one way or another.\u00a0 All those except Pa of course and Joe knew with an aching in his heart every time that he looked at the man that his time would also come.\u00a0 His aging body was a daily reminder to his son of just how fragile life was and Joe cherished every moment that they had together now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He opened the front door and smiled as he flung his hat onto the credenza. \u2018Hi Paul,\u2019 he said as he spied both men sitting in front of the fireplace sipping coffee. \u2018Good game?\u2019 he asked as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table and leant forward to study the chessboard in between the men.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018As usual your father refuses to accept defeat,\u2019 said the doctor with a grin.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave a short laugh and pretended to frown. \u2018I\u2019ll accept defeat when I\u2019ve lost the game,\u2019 he said. Joe chuckled. \u2018How was your day son?\u2019 asked his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Not bad,\u2019 replied Joe as he poured himself a cup of coffee. \u2018The men are ahead of schedule with the timber and I managed to get that Bank Draft organised when I was in town this morning.\u2019 He took a sheaf of papers out of his pocket and flung them on the table beside him. \u2018I came home a bit early because I really need to get onto those books \u2026. much and all as I don\u2019t want to.\u2019\u00a0 He made a face and for a moment Ben saw in his son the small mischievous boy that he\u2019d known all those years ago. \u2018Never one of my strong points was it?\u2019 Joe said as he stood up and stretched.\u00a0 His body was firm and muscular still, but he found that lately it ached just a bit more at the end of the day.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019d better get onto them then,\u2019 said his father with a wave of his hand. \u2018The sooner you start the sooner you\u2019ll finish.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes sir,\u2019 said Joe with another grin and a mock salute. \u2018Whatever you say.\u2019\u00a0 He took his coffee over to the study and sat down at his desk before opening up the dreaded accounts book in front of him.\u00a0 For a moment he had a fleeting memory of sitting here on his father\u2019s knee when he\u2019d been small while the man concentrated on his work.\u00a0 Strange how time marches on,<\/em> he thought.\u00a0 Now we refer to it as my desk and not Pa\u2019s.<\/em>\u00a0 As he worked he listened to the two men conversing quietly in front of the fireplace as they continued their game.\u00a0 He looked at his father\u2019s profile outlined by the flickering light behind him and noted the worn face and the tired eyes.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright had become an old man and for a moment Joe wondered exactly how and when that had happened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He heard the noise of the grandfather clock beside him and its regular ticking lulled him for a few moments as listened to the two men\u2019s voices across the other side of the room. There were so many memories in this room \u2026. memories of all the good times and \u2026 Joe grinned as he thought about how many times he\u2019d stood here in front of his father\u2019s desk in one sort of trouble or another.\u00a0 No wonder his father blamed his white hair on him!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He looked up as he heard a movement from across the room and saw Paul getting slowly to his feet. \u2018You sure you won\u2019t stay to supper?\u2019 he heard his father ask.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No thanks Ben,\u2019 replied Paul. \u2018I\u2019d better get on home. Never used to worry me before, but now I don\u2019t really like driving the team in the dark.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to Joe. \u2018Joe?\u00a0 I wonder if you could take a look at something for me.\u00a0 I think one of the bridles is worn and it might just need your touch.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood up. \u2018Sure,\u2019 he said with a smile. \u2018I\u2019ll walk you out.\u2019\u00a0 He followed the man outside and over to his buggy.\u00a0 \u2018Thanks for dropping in,\u2019 he said. \u2018Pa really enjoys your visits since he doesn\u2019t get out much any more.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s always my pleasure Joe, you know that,\u2019 replied Paul.\u00a0 \u2018I enjoy the visits as much as he does.\u00a0 Besides, it give me the chance to keep an eye on him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Now where\u2019s the problem?\u2019 asked Joe as he picked up the reins to study them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Actually there\u2019s nothing wrong with the bridle,\u2019 replied Paul. \u2018I just wanted an excuse to talk to you without your father hearing.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyebrow shot up. \u2018Oh?\u00a0 Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul drew a small bottle out of his coat pocket and handed it to Joe. \u2018I want you to try and get him to take these pills,\u2019 he said. \u2018He won\u2019t listen to me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked at the bottle resting on the palm of his hand. \u2018What are they for?\u2019 he asked with fear in his heart. \u2018Is there something wrong?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul shook his head and patted the other man on the shoulder. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018Not really.\u00a0 It\u2019s just \u2026 well your father is getting on a bit, as you know Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s not as young as he used to be and he needs to just look after himself.\u00a0 These will just help.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tightened his grip on the bottle and gave a curt nod. \u2018Of course,\u2019 he said. \u2018Although I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll have any more success than you.\u00a0 He\u2019s fairly stubborn you know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul laughed. \u2018Really?\u2019 he said. \u2018I never would have guessed. But seriously Joe he needs to take things easy.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared at the house and nodded again. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll do what I can.\u2019\u00a0 He felt a wave of emptiness wash over him as he had so many times lately and he hung his head.\u00a0 He felt the doctor\u2019s hand on his shoulder and looked up again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joe it comes to all of us,\u2019 the man said gently. \u2018He\u2019s had a good life you know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know.\u2019\u00a0 Joe bit his lip and tried to smile. \u2018It\u2019s just hard at times Paul. There are days when I can feel him drifting away.\u00a0 It\u2019s as if \u2026\u2019 his voice trailed away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Have you thought any more about what we talked about last month?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes. I actually wrote to Adam a few weeks ago and let him know.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t heard back yet though.\u2019\u00a0 His voice had a brittle edge to it. \u2018That\u2019s not unusual though.\u00a0 Sometimes its takes months for letters to be replied to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well he\u2019s a long way away,\u2019 said Paul as he got up into the buggy. \u2018I know it would do your father the world of good to see him again after all these years though.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said simply. \u2018Jamie\u2019s visit last month did him good I know that. If Adam were to come as well after all these years he\u2019d be thrilled. Bye Paul.\u2019\u00a0 He waited until the man had driven out of the yard before turning back towards the house again and entering it.\u00a0 His father was still sitting in his favourite chair next to the fireplace, his head resting on his hand and his eyes closed. \u2018Pa?\u2019 Joe said quietly as he sat down, but his father didn\u2019t answer.\u00a0 Joe watched the older man as he slept, his heart heavy with the pain of the doctor\u2019s words.\u00a0 He knew Paul was right, but he honestly didn\u2019t know how his Pa could take it any easier.\u00a0 Apart from his weekly trip to church and the occasional trip to town, he spent most of his time here in the house.\u00a0 Even so, Joe could see that he was slower with every month that passed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In sleep, his father\u2019s face was unguarded and showed every line and wrinkle clearly.\u00a0 Joe put his head on one side as he studied it, remembering the times when he\u2019d sat here as a boy and cuddled into his Pa\u2019s lap in front of the fire while his brothers were playing chess or some similar game and his father told them all stories.\u00a0 He used to snuggle down and press his head against his father\u2019s chest until he could hear the strong beating of the man\u2019s heart as he looked up at the face that he loved so dearly. His arms used to envelop his small son and it was the most secure feeling that Joe had ever known at the time or since. His father had always seemed so strong and invincible to him and now \u2026 his heart constricted again as he took note of the frail man sitting opposite.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Are you ready for supper now?\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked up as Mrs Monahan entered the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sure,\u2019 he said. \u2018Thank you.\u2019 He sighed as the woman left the room to retrieve the plates.\u00a0 Hop Sing was gone now … taken by a bout of pneumonia some years ago \u2026 but there wasn\u2019t one day that passed when Joe didn\u2019t miss the man. Mrs Monahan was wonderful and kept the house looking spick and span as well as being a great cook, but somehow it just wasn\u2019t the same.\u00a0 The small oriental man had been such a part of all their lives and with his passing another part of Joe had died inside.\u00a0 He had hidden himself in the loft by himself and cried buckets of tears the day they had buried his friend out back \u2026 his heart hurting in such a way that he could never have shared his grief with anyone \u2026 not even Pa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said as he gently shook the man. \u2018Pa? Wake up.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben opened his eyes and looked startled for a moment. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said, looking up at his son. \u2018Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled at his father. \u2018It\u2019s time for supper Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Mrs Monahan has it ready.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat forward in the chair and looked around. \u2018I must have dosed off for a moment,\u2019 he said. \u2018Has Paul gone?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes Pa,\u2019 said Joe in the same gentle voice. \u2018He went a while ago. Its suppertime now.\u2019\u00a0 He bent down and helped his father to his feet and walked him over to the table. \u2018Sure smells good,\u2019 he said to the woman as she put the platter down on the table. \u2018Thank you Mrs Monahan.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n She grinned at him. \u2018You enjoy it,\u2019 she said. \u2018I\u2019ll be back to clear up later.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat next to his father and began to serve them both.\u00a0 He could never sit here without a momentary feeling of sadness at the two empty places at the table across from him, but he did as he always did and brushed such thoughts aside as he began to relate the events of his day to his father.\u00a0 He noticed that Ben\u2019s eyes lit up as the conversation progressed.\u00a0 No matter how frail his body became, Ben Cartwright\u2019s mind was always ready to discuss the ranch that he loved so much.\u00a0 Even though the responsibility of running it was now Joe\u2019s, there were many times when he sought his father\u2019s advice about matters and was always impressed with the man\u2019s insights into the business. Lately he\u2019d begun to ask his advice even when he didn\u2019t it, for it always brought his father so much pleasure to think that he was still needed and a vital part of the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It sounds like you\u2019ve made a good start with things for the army contract then son,\u2019 said Ben later that evening when they were once again sitting by the fire. \u2018Why don\u2019t you include the timber up near Bluff Peak in it though?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hesitated, not really wanting to contradict the man and have him realise that he was confused. \u2018We only just replanted there last Fall Pa,\u2019 he said finally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked confused for a moment. \u2018Did we?\u2019 he said. \u2018Oh yes, you\u2019re right of course.\u2019\u00a0 There was silence for a few moments. \u2018Beautiful spot up there,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018You can see for miles from that ridge.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat forward in his chair eagerly. \u2018Why don\u2019t I drive you up there tomorrow?\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019d do you good to see it again.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben hesitated. \u2018Maybe another time son,\u2019 he said. \u2018I think that going to church tomorrow morning will be enough for one day.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather come straight home after that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tried to smile, but his disappointment was evident on his face. \u2018Sure Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Another time will be fine.\u2019\u00a0 There was silence for a while longer as each man stared into the flames that flickered in front of them. \u2018I saw Clem in town today,\u2019 said Joe finally. \u2018He was asking after you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ben\u2019s face lit up again. \u2018How is he?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Fine.\u00a0 Retirement suits him I think,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018He said that he might take a ride out here to see you through the week.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That\u2019d be nice,\u2019 said Ben. There was another lengthy silence and Joe listened to the regular ticking of the clock behind them. The house seemed so big and empty tonight and Joe felt the lonely feeling that he\u2019d become so used to lately begin to overwhelm him again.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t get into town himself much at night now, as he hated to leave his father by himself and most of his friends had either moved away or were occupied with their families.\u00a0 He felt a pang of anguish at the thought of what could have been as his mind touched on the memory of Alice and the child that never was.\u00a0 This house had been built for the sound of family and now it was a shell of what used to be when they\u2019d all been here together.\u00a0 It could have been full of many of his own children by now, but instead there was just the two of them here. He winced visibly at the thought of the future and what life might be like once his father wasn\u2019t here to share it with him.\u00a0 He thought overwhelmed him for a moment and he struggled to compose his mind and divert his thoughts from such melancholy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How about a game of chess?\u2019 he asked after a while.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stretched in his chair. \u2018Not tonight, thank you Joe,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m a bit weary. I think I might go on up to bed.\u2019\u00a0 He turned as there was a loud knock on the door. \u2018Who could that be at this time of night?\u2019 he wondered out loud.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019ll soon find out,\u2019 replied Joe as he stood up. He opened the door to see Tom Cleric, one of their hands standing there with a letter in his hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Excuse me Mr Cartwright,\u2019 he said. \u2018But I was in town and Matt at the Telegraph Office thought you might want this tonight.\u00a0 It came in the late mail.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Thank you Tom,\u2019 said Joe as he took the letter. \u2018See you in the morning.\u2019\u00a0 He frowned as he turned it over and saw the postmark.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What is it?\u2019 called Ben from his chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s a letter Pa,\u2019 sad Joe as he walked back over to join the man. \u2018It\u2019s from Adam.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat up straighter. \u2018Adam?\u2019 he said, a large smile spreading over his face. \u2018A letter from Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded as he undid the envelope. It was amazing how his father could be so cheered up with one letter from his eldest son.\u00a0 But it had always been like that, he thought, for they had always been close.\u00a0 Joe remembered when he was a little boy and his eldest brother had gone away for three years to college in Boston.\u00a0 Even as a youngster he had realised how his father had missed Adam and grieved for him.\u00a0 When his brother had left again left again years later Joe had been a man and had witnessed his father\u2019s pain and anguish at the departure of his eldest son.\u00a0 It had taken years for Joe to come to terms with it and forgive his brother for all he\u2019d put their father through and even now there was an involuntary knot in his stomach as he thought about it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s departure had affected his father more than even Joe could possible have known at the time, but with the passing of the years he had realised more and more how much the man desperately wanted to see his eldest son again.\u00a0 The hardest time of all had been when Hoss had died.\u00a0 Not even then had Adam come home to visit \u2026 he\u2019d written of course, but there had been some excuse to prevent him from travelling back.\u00a0 Joe suspected that his brother couldn\u2019t face things here after so long a time and with every year that passed it became harder for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n These last few months while he\u2019d watched his father deteriorate so much he\u2019d been prompted to write to his brother for the first time in years, asking him to consider their father\u2019s wishes for once and come home for a visit. He didn\u2019t expect that he would, but he knew that he\u2019d never forgive himself if he didn\u2019t at least try for his father\u2019s sake to bring back the one thing that would make Ben happy after all this time.\u00a0 He\u2019d lost one son already and there was nothing that could ever be done to bring Hoss back again \u2026 but Adam was a different case and even after all these years Joe didn\u2019t completely give up hope that he just might do it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Some years ago when his beloved horse Cochise had been dying, his father told him that there was one thing that might bring Adam home to them again, and Joe was counting on the fact that the things he\u2019d written in his letter about their father\u2019s health might just convince his brother to come home one last time before it was too late. He didn\u2019t want his Pa to know why of course, but he was hoping that his brother would put their father\u2019s wishes first this time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Read it for me son,\u2019 said Ben anxiously. \u2018My eyes aren\u2019t too good without those darned spectacles that Paul gave me and I\u2019ve left them in my room upstairs.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled and unfolded the paper.\u00a0 He quickly scanned the page and then looked up at his father, the tears standing in his eyes. \u2018He\u2019s coming home,\u2019 he said simply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gasped and put his hands over his heart in a gesture of joy. \u2018What?\u2019 he said breathlessly. \u2018Are you sure?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded as he looked at the paper again. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s says that he wants to visit for a while. His ship should get into San Francisco on the 23rd and he should arrive by stage here on the 4th.\u2019 He glanced up. \u2018That\u2019s next Saturday,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018One week from today.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled broadly in delight. \u2018I can\u2019t believe it,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018Adam!\u00a0 My Adam is coming home again!\u00a0 Does he say if he\u2019ll be staying?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said, glancing at the paper again. \u2018He just says that he\u2019s looking forward to seeing us both again and that he\u2019d like to visit for a while.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t say for how long.\u2019\u00a0 He handed his father the paper. \u2018Here,\u2019 he said. \u2018You can read it yourself later Pa when you\u2019ve got your spectacles.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben clutched the paper to his chest as if the very possession of it would bring his son closer to him. \u2018I can\u2019t believe it,\u2019 he said again. \u2018Adam!\u00a0 After all these years \u2026 Adam!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat back in his chair, his own emotions close to the surface. \u2018We\u2019ll all have a lot to talk about,\u2019 he said simply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018We certainly will,\u2019 said Ben happily as he glanced at the paper again and the\u00a0 clutched it to him. \u2018My boy \u2026 my Adam.\u2019 He smiled. \u2018This is what I\u2019ve been hoping and praying for Joe.\u00a0 My boys together again at last.\u00a0 My \u2026\u2019\u00a0 he hesitated for a split second. \u2018My\u00a0 \u2026 two boys.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s heart lurched. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said quietly. A silence hung between them like a heavy weight as they both thought about the missing member of their family \u2026 the son and the brother that they\u2019d both loved so dearly \u2026 who was sleeping peacefully now by the shores of the lake next to Joe\u2019s own mother Marie. \u2018Hoss would have loved to have seen him,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded, tears standing in his eyes. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said. \u2018That he would son \u2026 That he would.\u2019 There was another long silence while they both tried to control their emotions. \u2018I\u2019m so glad that I\u2019ll get to see him one last time,\u2019 said Ben softly. \u2018I prayed that I would before \u2026\u2019 his voice faltered and he glanced at Joe quickly to gauge his reaction to what he\u2019d been about to say.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa, you\u2019re fit and well,\u2019 said Joe quickly to cover up his own discomfort at his father\u2019s meaning. \u2018You know that you are.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave his son a sad smile. \u2018Yes of course,\u2019 he said. \u2018Only it stands to reason that I won\u2019t have much time left Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m just saying that I\u2019ll be happy to see your brother again if I before I\u2019m gone, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed. \u2018You\u2019re not going anywhere for a long time Pa,\u2019 he said firmly. \u2018And that\u2019s all there is to it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave his son another sad smile. \u2018Of course,\u2019 he said. \u2018And when I do, I want you to know that I\u2019ll be happy out there by the lake with your mother and your brother son.\u00a0 Please remember that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt his eyes begin to water and he quickly used the excuse of picking up his coffee cup to bend his head and look away from his father. He wished the man wouldn\u2019t speak of such things as it always made the lonely feeling wash over him even stronger than ever. He drank a few sips of his coffee and then looked over at his father and tried to smile. \u2018I suppose it\u2019ll be a long week,\u2019 he said, changing the subject abruptly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes,\u2019 said Ben as he wiped his eyes. \u2018There\u2019ll be a lot to do though.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to get Mrs Monahan to air one of the rooms upstairs for your brother. I\u2019d like everything to look nice for him.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I will Pa,\u2019 Joe assured him. \u2018I\u2019ll see to it tomorrow.\u2019\u00a0 He noticed his father run his hand over his face wearily and pretended to stretch himself. \u2018I think it\u2019s time for bed,\u2019 he said. \u2018I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m bone weary.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said. \u2018Although I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ll sleep much.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took the small bottle out of his jacket pocket. \u2018Paul left this for you,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018I told him I didn\u2019t need that,\u2019 he said shortly. \u2018I\u2019m fine.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Of course you\u2019re fine,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018But it can\u2019t hurt to take it, can it? He said that it\u2019ll do you good.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t need to have it,\u2019 replied his father stubbornly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well you might not need to have it, but I need you to,\u2019 said Joe as he held it out to his father. \u2018You want to be as well as you can be for next week, don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took the bottle reluctantly. \u2018Oh all right,\u2019 he said. \u2018But only because of next week.\u2019\u00a0 His eyes lit up again. \u2018Only one week,\u2019 he mused happily. \u2018Six more days and I\u2019ll have my two boys together again.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stood up and reached over to help his father slowly to his feet. \u2018Come on Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019re both going to need our rest.\u00a0 Time for bed.\u2019\u00a0 He walked the man slowly over to the staircase and steadied him as they began the slow ascent up.\u00a0 He stopped to allow his father time to catch his breath on the landing, one hand resting on the red and white Indian rug that had hung there for many years and the other holding onto his father\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You take good care of me Joe,\u2019 said his father softly as they began to climb the stairs again slowly. \u2018You\u2019re a good boy.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe laughed softly. \u2018You didn\u2019t always think that,\u2019 he said. \u2018I remember a time or two when you could have throttled me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018More than a time or two,\u2019 Ben agreed with a chuckle. \u2018You certainly were a challenge in your younger days son.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his youngest son with pride. \u2018But you\u2019ve grown into a son to be proud of Joseph.\u00a0 You make me proud of you every day.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked away from his father, anxious that he wouldn\u2019t see the raw emotion on his face. \u2018Thanks Pa,\u2019 he said simply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019ve been so good to me, particularly during these past few years,\u2019 continued Ben as they got to the top of the stairs. \u2018I really don\u2019t know what I would have done without you son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You would have managed,\u2019 replied Joe, trying to sound light hearted.\u00a0 He felt his emotions very near the surface and he didn\u2019t want to show his father just how much he worried for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben patted Joe on the arm. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. \u2018You\u2019re probably right \u2026 but you\u2019ve made it so much easier for me.\u00a0 You\u2019re the best son I could ever hope for Joseph. The very best\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe grinned at his father as he opened his bedroom door. \u2018Thanks Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018You\u2019re a pretty good Pa too, you know.\u2019\u00a0 Father and son smiled at each other lovingly. \u2018Now don\u2019t you stay up all night reading that letter over and over,\u2019 Joe said. \u2018You\u2019re going need lots of sleep this week and we\u2019ve got church in the morning, remember?\u2019\u00a0 He stopped for a moment and considered how many times his father had told him when to go to sleep instead of the other way around.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I won\u2019t,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018And I\u2019ve got lots to give thanks for tomorrow at church. Good night son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Night Pa,\u2019 replied Joe. \u2018Sleep well.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to go into his own room and then hesitated as he heard his father\u2019s voice again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I love you Joseph.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled back at the man that he loved so deeply. \u2018I love you too Pa.\u00a0 Good night.\u2019\u00a0 He watched as his father closed his bedroom door slowly and then turned and faced the empty bedroom in front of him with a sigh as he listened to the silence that enveloped him once again. He walked into it and shut the door behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Six days later:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam Cartwright stepped down slowly from the stage and dusted off his expensive suit before looking around at the bustling town in front of him.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t ever remember Virginia City being this busy before, but then again it had been more years than he cared to remember since he\u2019d seen it \u2026 of course it was bound to change.\u00a0 He lifted an eyebrow as he glanced across the street at the imposing brick buildings that had replaced the wooden structures that he remembered.\u00a0 All things change in time, he thought, and there had been plenty of time for that to happen around here.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He picked up one of his bags as the stage driver dropped it to the ground in front of him and then hesitated, unsure for once what to do.\u00a0 He had thought that Joe would have come to meet him or at least have sent someone, but it seemed that it wasn\u2019t the case.\u00a0 For a moment he felt a pang of doubt that he should have come at all, but immediately pushed the feeling to the back of his mind.\u00a0 Adam Cartwright seldom doubted himself or anything he did and he wasn\u2019t about to start now.\u00a0 Still \u2026. he had thought that Joe would have been here.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He turned at the sound of his voice and his heart constricted at the sight of his brother standing behind him.\u00a0 For weeks now he had thought about this moment.\u00a0 He had planned in his mind what he would say and do when finally confronted with his past, but in an instant all thoughts went from his head and all he could do was stand there and stare at the man in front of him.\u00a0 He would never have mistaken Joe for anyone else. He would never have passed him in the street and not known him, for his younger brother was still much the same as he remembered him \u2026 except \u2026 He smiled tentatively at Joe.\u00a0 \u2018You\u2019ve grown,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t return the smile, but he lifted his eyebrow in much the same way that Adam remembered their father doing when he was thoughtful. \u2018Have I?\u2019 he replied. \u2018I\u2019m still the same height.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I didn\u2019t mean in height,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018You \u2026\u2019 he looked his brother up and down for a moment and noticed the slim and muscular fit body. \u2018You\u2019ve filled out some, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Years of hard work,\u2019 said Joe abruptly and bent down to pick up the other bag at Adam\u2019s feet. \u2018The buggy\u2019s down here.\u2019\u00a0 He turned and walked away, obviously expecting his brother to follow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Adam walked behind his brother he felt somewhat let down.\u00a0 The meeting that he\u2019d been dreading for all this time hadn\u2019t been the confrontation he\u2019d expected and somehow it just didn\u2019t feel right.\u00a0 He\u2019d rehearsed over and over in his mind how it would be.\u00a0 Either Joe would be very angry with him and not willing to acknowledge him, or he would be very glad to see him and they would have embraced.\u00a0 In his mind he had prepared himself for both, but never once for this cool and offhand man in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until they were well out of town that he tried to find out what Joe was thinking.\u00a0 His brother hadn\u2019t spoken a word since his greeting and Adam was becoming more and more uncomfortable with the tension that he felt between them. \u2018I suppose you\u2019re angry with me,\u2019 he ventured.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glanced sideways at him, his face suddenly a mask of unhappiness for things lost. \u2018I was,\u2019 he admitted. \u2018Not now.\u2019\u00a0 He was silent again as he stared straight ahead, seemingly concentrating on driving the team.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I see.\u2019\u00a0 Adam waited for more, but the silence between them lengthened.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ve been preparing myself to be shocked when I see Pa,\u2019 he said finally.\u00a0 Joe stared straight ahead and said nothing. Adam looked at him strangely, trying to work out why his brother was insisting on not talking.\u00a0 If he wasn\u2019t angry with him as he had said, then why wasn\u2019t he ready to communicate? He noticed the tightness of his brother\u2019s grip on the reins as he drove the team in front of him. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he ventured. \u2018If you\u2019re angry with me then I\u2019d rather we had it out here before we get home.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it\u2019s fair to discuss this in front of Pa.\u2019 Joe drew the team to a halt and took a deep breath as he studied his hands lying in his lap silently. \u2018Joe?\u2019 said Adam again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked up at his brother and Adam was shocked to see tears standing in his eyes. \u2018There\u2019s no easy way to tell you this,\u2019 he said after a moment\u2019s hesitation.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Tell me what?\u2019\u00a0 Adam\u2019s heart lurched and he willed his brother not to continue for fear of what he was about to hear.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa died in his sleep six days ago,\u2019 said Joe in a low voice.\u00a0 He looked over his brother\u2019s shoulder at the mountains in the distance \u2026 the mountains that his father had always loved and that Joe felt were a part of his own soul. Adam was silent as he tried to deal with his own feelings that were crashing down around him and within him. He knew that no words could express how he felt and so he didn\u2019t even try to speak.\u00a0 The two brothers sat in silence, their father\u2019s memory between them, until slowly Joe took up the reins again and drove the horses forward, his body slumped as he stared at the road in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Neither brother moved or spoke for a full five minutes until Adam said in a low and unsteady voice that was choking with emotion, \u2018I prayed that I\u2019d be in time to say goodbye.\u2019\u00a0 He sat still within his shock, his mind full of a thousand memories of his father as he listened to the rumbling of the wheels beneath them that provided a background for his thoughts. Suddenly the buggy stopped and he looked up in a daze.\u00a0 Instead of the house, he saw the lake in front of him and he looked questioningly at his brother. Joe got down and stood beside the horses, his profile outlined against the lake behind him while he absently patted the animal\u2019s neck. He looked up at Adam and nodded before turning away from him and staring at the expanse of water behind him and Adam followed his gaze with anguish in his heart.\u00a0 He slowly got down as well and went to stand next to his younger brother, his heart crying out for the father that neither of them would ever see again in life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe put his hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder and together Ben Cartwright\u2019s two boys walked slowly across the clearing towards the three headstones, which rested beside each other on the shore of the lake.\u00a0 It was time to say goodbye.<\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Summary:\u00a0 Joe faces a difficult time in his life.<\/p>\n Rating K (5,985 words)<\/p>\n Time to Let Go Series, links to all the stories within the series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":11514,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1091,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-joe","category-drama","wpcat-1091-id","wpcat-23-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1948","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1948"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1948\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1948"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1948"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1948"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nTime to Say Goodbye<\/a><\/p>\n