{"id":2013,"date":"2009-10-11T12:42:07","date_gmt":"2009-10-11T16:42:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2013"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:22:17","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:22:17","slug":"six-candles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2013","title":{"rendered":"Six Candles (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>A snapshot of each of the Cartwright boys on their sixth birthdays<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+ (4,765 words)<\/p>\n

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Six Candles<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam stared solemnly at the cake in front of him, then looked up at Inger and smiled as his dark eyes danced with a light that Ben had only recently come to notice.\u00a0 The boy was a naturally quiet and reserved child and very responsible for his age, and had a way of taking life far too seriously for a boy so young. He really had had no choice though, Ben mused.\u00a0 It was as if the youngster sensed that his father had needed him to cause as little trouble as possible.<\/p>\n

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It seemed to Ben that life had always been difficult for Adam.\u00a0 Just the two of them on the road, making out as best they could with little or no money and only each other to rely on.\u00a0 Strange that Ben should have felt that way about the boy, but for as long as he could remember it was true.\u00a0 They were more than father and son, they were companions on their journey together.\u00a0 They were the only company either of them had for long periods of time, and Adam had grown up used to the idea that his father needed him to be sensible and mature beyond his years.<\/p>\n

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Ben was certain he could not have coped if Adam had been anything less. There were many times when Ben had taken work just to put the food in their mouths, and Adam had coped with whatever arrangements his father had been able to make for him without complaining since he was a toddler. Thank God all that was now over! For Ben now had someone on whom he could utterly rely to help with raise his small boy, someone whom they had both come to love dearly.<\/p>\n

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Ben\u2019s angel had appeared in the form of his wonderful wife who was now standing next to him nursing their baby son Eric \u2013 or Hoss as they had come to call him. Inger had appeared just when they had needed her, and brought a new dimension to both their lives. She had helped this solemn little boy to open up and act like the child that he really was instead of the miniature adult that he was in danger of becoming.<\/p>\n

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Adam\u2019s birthday had always been a difficult day for Ben, for it was also the anniversary of his mother\u2019s death.\u00a0 It always had been and always would be, there was no getting away from the fact.\u00a0 Ben always had an ache in his heart for his darling Elizabeth on this day, and had to remind himself that it wasn\u2019t the child\u2019s fault.\u00a0 Perhaps that was why he made especially sure that the day would be one for celebration.<\/p>\n

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This year it had been easier.\u00a0 His darling Inger had seen to that.\u00a0 Finding her had eased the pain considerably, and Ben discovered for the first time that he could hold onto memories without the pain that had always been there with them. He hoped that it was beginning to be like that for Adam as well.\u00a0 From the look on the boy\u2019s face it seemed to Ben that it was quite likely.<\/p>\n

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Ben put his arm around Inger\u2019s waist and smiled at her. \u2018Where on earth had she found the ingredients to surprise the boy with a cake?\u2019 Ben wondered as he watched his son fondly. Adam had never really had a proper birthday celebration before.\u00a0 His father had had enough problems putting food into their mouths without the added expense of a cake and presents, but he had always tried to mark the day in some way with something special. Sometimes it was something as simple as taking the day off work and fishing with his son, but Ben always made sure that Adam knew the day was his.<\/p>\n

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Inger shifted her weight slightly as the baby on her hip squirmed.\u00a0 Ben smiled down at his youngest boy and held out his arms to take him from his wife.\u00a0 As he held him up in front of him, he marvelled at the size of the baby, only one month old yet as large and alert as many infants many times his age.\u00a0 Baby Eric was a happy infant and had so far given them not one moment of trouble. Born out here on the open plains he was destined to become a child of the land, Ben felt sure.<\/p>\n

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Suddenly, a movement behind them caused Ben to turn quickly. Out of the shadows came Jake Dunn one of their travelling companions.\u00a0 \u2018Ben, could I see you for a moment?\u2019 he asked quietly and gave him a meaningful glance.\u00a0 Ben smiled at his wife and boy as he nodded.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ll just be a minute,\u2019 he explained, and stepped out of the light of the campfire to speak to the man.<\/p>\n

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Inger watched him with a worried expression on her face, then turned quickly to Adam as she said \u2018We will wait for papa before we have the candles, yes? Unwrap your present now my little one.\u2019\u00a0 Adam eagerly clutched the small parcel that she held towards him, and his face lit up as he unwrapped it to reveal a picture book. Inger smiled at his reaction, thankful that the boy could not possibly know that it was not new.\u00a0 She had traded it for a small scoop of flour from their meagre stores with another family in the wagon train who had several older children and had no further use for the book.\u00a0 She knew how Adam loved such things, and would have traded twice the amount just to see that happy expression on his face.<\/p>\n

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As they sat looking at the pictures together Ben returned and sat next to them, baby Hoss still on his arm.\u00a0 \u2018Jake says he wasn\u2019t able to find any waterholes up ahead after all.\u2019 He said quietly.\u00a0 Inger frowned at him. \u00a0It had not rained for weeks, and water was in very short supply.\u00a0 All the travellers had put their hopes on the small band of men who had ridden ahead to find a fresh supply but now they had come back empty handed things were looking grim indeed.<\/p>\n

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\u2018So what can we do now?\u2019 Inger whispered, not wanting Adam to hear.<\/p>\n

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Ben shook his head and sighed. \u2018We\u2019ll have to start rationing supplies immediately.\u2019 He replied. \u2018No washing at all and the horses will have to do without.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018How long can they last?\u2019 asked his wife.<\/p>\n

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Ben shrugged his shoulders and stared up at the stars in the cloudless sky.\u00a0 \u2018It\u2019s my fault,\u2019 he said quietly, \u2018I should never have insisted that we start out when we did.\u00a0 We could have joined another group and come through later in the year.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018And then we would have faced the freezing snows and winds.\u2019 Inger replied. \u2018No my husband, there are dangers in making this journey at any time.\u00a0 God will look after us, of that I am sure.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam had caught snippets of the conversation between his parents, and looked up into his father\u2019s face with his large dark eyes. \u2018Papa,\u2019 he asked, \u2018don\u2019t we have any water left to drink?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben looked down at his son, startled.\u00a0 He had forgotten just how aware the boy could be. \u2018Of course we do Adam, we just have to make sure that we don\u2019t waste any before it rains again or before we find another waterhole, that\u2019s all.\u2019 He patted the boy on the head.<\/p>\n

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Adam continued to stare at his father. \u2018Then we should ask God to give us some rain, just like mama says, shouldn\u2019t we?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben smiled at him. \u2018I think that mightn\u2019t be a bad idea, son.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Mama?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yes my little one?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Remember how you told me that I get a wish when I blow out my birthday candles?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well maybe God will send us some rain if I make that my special birthday wish.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Oh no, Adam, you must use that wish for something for yourself.\u00a0 We only get one birthday wish a year, and God expects us to ask for something just for ourselves with it. You must use it for yourself alone.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben lowered his head as he listened to the conversation between his wife and son. Once again, Adam was learning to cope in an adult world.\u00a0 He was a six year-old child proposing to use his wish for something that was beyond the control of all the adults in the group.\u00a0 In other circumstances he should not even be aware of such a situation, much less trying to do something about it.\u00a0 Where had his son\u2019s childhood gone? Ben wondered. Just as the child in him was beginning to emerge, he was being forced back into an adult world by the circumstances surrounding them.<\/p>\n

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\u2018What a beautiful book.\u2019 Ben reached for it, trying to deflect his son\u2019s attention from their conversation. \u2018We\u2019ll have to have a good look at it later, and you might be able to practise some of the words.\u2019 Ben knew how much his boy loved to learn and a book of his own would be truly a treasured item.<\/p>\n

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But Adam was not to be distracted. \u2018But mama I have everything I need, I\u2019ve got papa and you and baby Hoss.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t I use my wish for the rain?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben\u2019s heart swelled with pride when he heard his son\u2019s remark.\u00a0 The boy was right. What did it matter if he couldn\u2019t give his son material things? The only thing that mattered was that they had each other. What more could they need?<\/p>\n

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Inger smiled at him before replying to Adam. \u2018Well if you are sure my little one, then yes you may use your wish for whatever you think is best.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben bent forward and removed a small twig from the campfire, then used it to light the candles on the cake.\u00a0 He put his arm around his wife and held his baby son tightly in his other arm as he sent up a silent prayer to God asking that all would be well for them.<\/p>\n

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Ben smiled down at the small face in front of him and whispered \u2018Blow out the candles son.\u2019\u00a0 Six candles flickered brightly on the cake as the small boy shut his eyes and made a wish.<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u2018This is the best birthday ever!\u2019 announced Hoss as he eyed the huge chocolate cake in front of him and licked his lips. Ben watched with concern as behind the boy his older brother Adam scowled when their stepmother Marie bent down and kissed his younger brother.<\/p>\n

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\u2018I\u2019m glad you think so darling.\u2019 she whispered to him as Hoss put his arms around her neck and hugged her. \u2018Would you like to open your presents now?\u2019\u00a0 Hoss nodded eagerly and Ben smiled at him.\u00a0 Trust Marie to make this day special for him.\u00a0 Ben felt a twinge of guilt.\u00a0 Life had been so hard for his two boys during the last few years, and although he had tried to do his best for them they had missed a woman\u2019s touch in their lives.\u00a0 Since Hoss\u2019 mother Inger had died when he was just a few months old Ben had had to be both father and mother to his boys and it had been extremely hard for them all to cope.<\/p>\n

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Now that Marie had come into their lives things were beginning to settle down for them all.\u00a0 His ranch was beginning to become prosperous and with that prosperity came the ability to give his boys some of the material things they had missed in their earlier years.\u00a0 He hoped that Hoss\u2019 birthday was a sign of good times to come.<\/p>\n

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Marie had organised a beautiful cake for the boy and the table was piled high with presents.\u00a0 Hoss could hardly believe that all this fuss was for him!\u00a0 Yes, thought Ben, things were definitely looking up for the Cartwright family now.\u00a0 A beautiful wife, two growing healthy boys and another baby on the way \u2013 what more could any man want in his life?<\/p>\n

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His eyes darted back again to his older boy Adam and he knew that there was still one thing needed to make this day complete.\u00a0 Adam was determined not to join in with the festivities because Marie had been the one who had organised all this for Hoss.\u00a0 He greatly resented his new stepmother, and saw her presence as an intrusion into their lives.\u00a0 If only the boy would allow himself to get to know her, thought Ben, he would soon come to realise the wonderful person that she was.\u00a0 He frowned at Adam and motioned towards the table with his arm.<\/p>\n

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Adam saw the look his father gave him, and drew closer to the family group.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to spoil this day for his little brother, but he just found it so difficult to be a part of something when she<\/em> was involved. \u2018Just look at her!\u2019 he thought to himself. \u2018Who does she think she is?\u00a0 She\u2019s not Hoss\u2019 mother and she\u2019s not mine either, so why does she think she can act like she is?\u00a0 Just because she\u2019s having one of her own, she thinks we\u2019re all going to fall at her feet or something.\u2019\u00a0 He turned his back on Marie and spoke to his brother.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Here you go Hoss, happy birthday.\u2019\u00a0 He handed his brother a parcel.<\/p>\n

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Hoss grabbed it eagerly and unwrapped it.\u00a0 \u2018Wow, thanks Adam!\u2019 he exclaimed as he realised what it was. Adam had carefully chosen something that he knew his little brother would admire.\u00a0 A leather belt complete with a buckle that had a horse engraved on it.\u00a0 He had saved his allowance for a whole month in order to buy it.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Marie held out her hand and touched the buckle. \u2018Adam, it\u2019s beautiful.\u00a0 May I see it Hoss?\u2019\u00a0 The boy handed it to her. \u2018It\u2019s beautiful workmanship. Where did you buy it in town?\u2019 she asked.<\/p>\n

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Adam scowled at her and snatched the belt out of her hand. \u2018I gave it to my brother, not you!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018Don\u2019t touch it!\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Adam!\u2019 said his father, but Marie placed a restraining hand on his arm.<\/p>\n

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Adam threw the belt on the table and turned on his heel. As he strode towards the front door, Hoss called out to him. \u2018Adam, come back.\u00a0 We haven\u2019t had the cake yet.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to his father, tears glistening in his eyes. \u2018Pa what\u2019s wrong with Adam? Why won\u2019t he stay for my birthday cake?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pa put his arm around his boy as he replied. \u2018Hoss, Adam doesn\u2019t mean to spoil your birthday, he just needs to get used to some of the changes that have been happening around here, that\u2019s all.\u2019\u00a0 He looked meaningfully at Marie over the top of his son\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

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\u2018But Pa he\u2019s always angry lately.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want him to be like that, specially on my birthday.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Marie leaned down and looked at her youngest stepson closely \u2018Why don\u2019t you tell him that Hoss?\u2019 she asked. \u2018I think he might need to hear it.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018All right, I will.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam sat on the edge of the front porch and looked at the sky filled with stars.\u00a0 As he heard the door close behind him, he thought \u2018Here we go again, another lecture from Pa.\u2019 He was surprised to see not his father come to sit beside him, but his little brother.<\/p>\n

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\u2018What\u2019s wrong Adam, ain\u2019t ya having a good time at my party?\u2019 the boy asked. When his older brother did not answer, he continued. \u2018Why don\u2019t you like Marie?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam frowned at him. \u2018I like her just fine. Don\u2019t worry about it Hoss.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018No ya don\u2019t. You\u2019re always mean to her.\u2019 Adam stared at his brother. \u2018She just wants us to like her, and she tries to be nice to us.\u2019 Hoss continued. \u2018Why don\u2019t you let her Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018She just wants to take over as our mother, and she\u2019s not!\u2019 Adam replied.<\/p>\n

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\u2018No Adam I\u2019m not your mother\u2019 said Marie from behind the boys as she joined them on the porch. \u2018But I am going to be the mother of your little brother or sister, and I was hoping that might help us to be closer to each other.\u2019\u00a0 Adam frowned at her as she sat down on the chair behind them. \u2018Hoss you have more presents waiting for you inside, why don\u2019t you go in to your Pa and unwrap them with him?\u2019\u00a0 Hoss beamed at her and did as she suggested.<\/p>\n

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Marie addressed her older stepson. \u2018Adam I don\u2019t feel you are being fair to Hoss. You\u2019re spoiling his birthday for him.\u2019 Adam sat silently.\u00a0 \u2018 You know I was hoping that we could end up being friends.\u00a0 Hoss seems to accept me, don\u2019t you think you could try to as well?\u2019 Adam shrugged his shoulders and continued to stare at the stars. \u2018You know your father \u2026..\u2019\u00a0 Marie stopped suddenly.<\/p>\n

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Adam glanced at his stepmother as she sat in silence with her hands on her stomach. After a moment he asked \u2018What\u2019s the matter?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Nothing. It just that this little one likes to bounce around a bit sometimes. It takes me by surprise.\u2019\u00a0 Marie laughed as she stroked the bump on her lap. \u2018Your father says it\u2019s impatient to see the world.\u2019\u00a0 Adam stared at her. Suddenly she leant forward and clutched hold of his hand and placed it on her stomach. \u2018There, can you feel it?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam nodded, fascinated by the fluttering feeling beneath his hand. \u2018Does it do that a lot?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Just enough to keep me awake at night.\u00a0 I think this little brother or sister of yours is going to keep us all on our toes.\u2019 She let go of Adam\u2019s hand but he did not move it. \u2018Adam I know you are very close to Hoss, I was hoping that you might feel just as close to this little one when it arrives. My baby is going to need it\u2019s big brother to look out for it.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam sat quietly thinking for a moment.\u00a0 After a while he said. \u2018I\u2019ve got nothing against that baby.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018But you do against me, don\u2019t you?\u2019 Marie asked. When he didn\u2019t answer she continued. \u2018Adam your father and I love each other very much, and when I married him I made a decision to love both you and your brother as well.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad that Hoss feels the way about me that he does, and I just wish that you and I could come to an understanding. I don\u2019t expect you to accept me as a mother, but I was hoping we could become friends.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ve got plenty of friends. I don\u2019t need you.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well you may not need me, but I need you.\u2019 his stepmother replied. Adam looked at her in surprise. \u2018I need you to help me fit into this family, I need you to help your father and Hoss, and I need you for my baby\u2019s sake.\u00a0 Can\u2019t we at least try?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018I dunno.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018It would make your father very happy.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think he deserves to be?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam nodded. \u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018And what about Hoss?\u00a0 This is his special day.\u00a0 Don\u2019t spoil it for him. You of all people should know just how much he\u2019s been looking forward to this.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Just at that moment, Hoss burst through the door again. \u2018Pa says that we have to have the cake before the candles burn down. He says that you two need to stop talking now.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Marie laughed. \u2018Well then, we\u2019d better come inside hadn\u2019t we?\u2019\u00a0 She stood up and held out her hand to Adam. \u2018Coming?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam stood and hesitated before he took his stepmother\u2019s hand, then they walked back into the house together.\u00a0 Ben raised an eyebrow at Marie as the two of them approached the table, and she nodded at him.\u00a0 He breathed a sigh of relief as his wife and son sat at the table on either side of him.\u00a0 He thought about them both. They were two very stubborn people who were constantly locked in a battle of wills.\u00a0 No doubt it would not be the last time.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well come on now Hoss, if you want to sample this wonderful cake you\u2019d better get a move on with those candles.\u2019 his father said. Hoss sat at the head of the table and grinned at all his loved ones around him. His world was once again complete.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0Ben smiled down at the small face in front of him and whispered \u2018Blow out the candles son.\u2019 Six candles flickered brightly on the cake as the small boy shut his eyes and made a wish.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Ben shook his head in disbelief and stared at the scene in front of him.<\/p>\n

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\u2018How could I have forgotten today?\u2019\u00a0 he mused. \u2018Thank God for Adam.\u2019\u00a0 For as usual his eldest son had not let him down. Adam had asked Hop Sing to make this beautiful birthday cake for Little Joe and had even decorated the table for him. Now the whole family was clustered around the table determined to make the little boy\u2019s birthday a happy occasion.<\/p>\n

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How hard Ben was finding all of this and how he ached for Marie to be a part of this day! It surely could not have been six months already since she had gone from their lives so abruptly.\u00a0 It felt like just yesterday that she was there with them all, laughing and filling the house with her warmth and vitality.\u00a0 She had been such a wonderful mother to the boys and they all missed her so much. Ben closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment on her smile.\u00a0 It was almost as if he could smell her near him, almost as if he could reach out and \u2026..<\/p>\n

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\u2018Pa, ain\u2019t that right?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben was shaken out of his dream by the insistent voice of his youngest son sitting next to him at the table.\u00a0 He forced himself to smile and asked \u2018What son?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe frowned at him and repeated his question. \u2018If I\u2019m six then I\u2019m old enough to ride to school by myself now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben ruffled the curly head absentmindedly as his son looked up at him hopefully. \u2018Not for a while longer Little Joe.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at the boy and swallowed.\u00a0 It was so painful at times to look at this child, for every time he did so he saw his mother. He saw it in the bright green eyes, the curly hair, the profile and the way he tilted his head when he spoke.\u00a0 It was so tangible that it was like a stab through Ben\u2019s heart. He closed his eyes again and saw his precious Marie before him, so full of life and warmth.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t be dead! He couldn\u2019t accept that she was\u2026..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam leant over and whispered in Little Joe\u2019s ear. \u2018What about your presents?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe took his attention away from his father and gleefully turned back to the table where a number of packages awaited him. \u00a0He grabbed the first one and squealed with delight as he opened it to reveal a box of wooden soldiers.\u00a0 \u2018Look Pa, they match my other ones, except these ones are dressed in blue not red.\u2019\u00a0 Ben nodded silently and glanced at Adam.\u00a0 What a thoughtful brother he was.\u00a0 He must have ordered the soldiers some time ago, as Little Joe\u2019s original ones had come from San Francisco and these ones matched perfectly.\u00a0 Ben remembered when he had bought the originals for the boy.\u00a0 It was two years ago when the whole family had spent a week in the city while he had been on a business trip there.\u00a0 Marie had insisted on them all accompanying him, even Little Joe.\u00a0 He could still remember her saying to him \u2026..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was interrupted again by another squeal.\u00a0 \u2018Thanks Hoss!\u00a0 Look Pa, a real leather holder just like Hoss\u2019 one.\u00a0 I can use it to put my knife in \u2026..when I get one.\u2019 he added hastily while looking at his father. Little Joe knew the argument for a knife was one that he had lost many times before, but he never gave up trying.\u00a0 Maybe one day his Pa would listen.\u00a0 Ben patted him on the shoulder absently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced at his father and noticed the set jaw and the furrowed lines around his eyes.\u00a0 He had hoped that the celebration for Little Joe\u2019s birthday might have helped, but it didn\u2019t seem to be doing the trick at all. He sighed.\u00a0 It was difficult to know just how to treat his father or what to do for him.\u00a0 On the one hand Adam felt desperately sorry for him, but on the other hand he was very tired of trying to hold everything together while Ben continued to retreat from the three of them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam knew his younger brothers really needed their Pa, as he admitted he did himself.\u00a0 The last six months life had been really hard for all of them, and his father just didn\u2019t seem to be able to cope with any of it at all.\u00a0 He had retreated into a world of his own, privately grieving for the woman whom he had loved so dearly.\u00a0 What Adam resented was the fact that his father didn\u2019t seem to realise just how much they were all grieving as well.\u00a0 He glanced at Hoss sitting across the table from him.\u00a0 The boy was smiling at his little brother, glad that the youngster was enjoying himself for a change.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss knew that his father was desperately unhappy, but was not old enough to know how to help him at all.\u00a0 At twelve, he had struggled to contain his own grief at the loss of the only woman he had ever known to give him a mother\u2019s love, and the shock of losing her made him ache for his father\u2019s attention.\u00a0 Looking at his father now, he was puzzled as to why he didn\u2019t react to this party as Hoss felt he should.\u00a0 He seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts as had become the norm for him.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t his Pa know how much they all needed him, how much Little Joe needed him in particular?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe gazed up at his father expectantly, and Hoss knew what was in his little brother\u2019s mind.\u00a0 Their Pa had always promised that he would give the boy a pony of his own on his sixth birthday, and Little Joe was obviously expecting his gift now.\u00a0 Hoss swallowed and looked at Adam pleadingly.\u00a0 Their Pa had not remembered the boy\u2019s birthday at all, so how on earth could he have remembered his present?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled at his youngest brother and handed him another parcel.\u00a0 \u2018Here you go Little Joe, this one\u2019s from Pa.\u2019 Ben looked up startled as he heard the words spoken.\u00a0 What was Adam saying?\u00a0 He looked at his oldest son and recollection dawned in his eyes.\u00a0 Not only had Adam organised this party for his little brother, but he also purchased a present from his father for the little boy.\u00a0 Ben lowered his head and held back his tears of shame.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What kind of father was he, and how could it have come to this?\u00a0 He was not being fair to his boys he knew that, but he had just not seemed to be able to help it.\u00a0 He looked at Adam and felt a huge surge of pride.\u00a0 The boy had managed to hold this family together under very difficult circumstances, and Ben hadn\u2019t been there for him at all.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t been there for any of them, and they were hurting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe frowned at his father.\u00a0 Why was his Pa just sitting there?\u00a0 Joe had been so excited about his birthday, because he wanted his Pa to give him the attention that he used to.\u00a0 Yet it seemed that this day was going to be no different to any other.\u00a0 Little Joe ached for his father\u2019s touch, but all he got lately were the absent-minded pats that he was coming now to expect as normal.\u00a0 And now it seemed that his Pa had even forgotten his promise of a pony.\u00a0 The little boy blinked back tears of disappointment and reached out for the parcel that Adam held out to him. \u2018Thank you Pa.\u2019 he said politely in a small voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched as his little boy unwrapped the parcel to reveal a pile of picture books.\u00a0 He noticed the boy\u2019s quiet manner as he laid them aside and turned to his older brother. \u00a0\u2018Can we have the cake now, Adam?\u2019 he asked in the same small voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If only his mother was here, Ben thought.\u00a0 Then everything would be all right again with his family.\u00a0 Marie would have made the day so special for their child.\u00a0 She would have known just what the boy wanted for his birthday and had a special present for him.\u00a0 Ben jerked with a start as he remembered a day months ago just before she had died, when they had been shopping in Virginia City.\u00a0 Marie had found something that she knew Little Joe would have loved.\u00a0 Hadn\u2019t she put it away for this very day?\u00a0 He stood up abruptly from the table.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ll be back in a moment boys.\u2019 he said and walked to the staircase.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam watched him go with mounting anger.\u00a0 He knew how difficult this was for his father, but could not help but consider how unfair he was being to Little Joe.\u00a0 His youngest brother was sitting with tears in his eyes while he watched his father leave the room.\u00a0 He turned to Adam. \u2018Where\u2019s Pa going Adam?\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t he even want to have some birthday cake?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat down at the table and lifted his little brother onto his knee.\u00a0 \u2018Of course he does, buddy.\u00a0 He probably isn\u2019t feeling very well just now, so maybe we\u2019d better have it without him and save him some.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe nodded, his disappointment evident in his face. He fingered the pile of books in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Do you like your present?\u2019 asked Hoss, trying to divert his attention. Little Joe nodded silently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Maybe tonight I\u2019ll read you a story from one of the books before you go to bed.\u2019 suggested Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe nodded again, then looked at his older brother as he asked\u00a0 \u2018Adam, doesn\u2019t Pa like me anymore?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned at him. \u2018Of course he does, Little Joe!\u00a0 He loves you, just like he does all of us.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Then why?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam hated asking the question.\u00a0 \u2018Why what?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Why didn\u2019t he give me a pony like he always promised?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat silently not knowing what to answer, his anger with his father mounting by the minute.\u00a0 After a few moments he said \u2018I just don\u2019t know buddy, I guess he forgot.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe burrowed his head into his brother\u2019s chest.\u00a0 \u2018Can we have the cake later?\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel like any now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Upstairs, Ben sat on his bed staring at the brown paper parcel in his hand.\u00a0 He had found it at the back of the top drawer where Marie had always kept her bits and pieces.\u00a0 He remembered so very clearly now the day she had lovingly placed it there in readiness for their son\u2019s next birthday, to go with the pony that they had planned on giving him. Ben hung his head and wept tears of shame.\u00a0 How could he have done this to his son? Marie would be so angry with him if she were here now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But she wasn\u2019t here, and that\u2019s what was going to make this so difficult.\u00a0 His beloved Marie had been killed that day whilst riding her horse, and here he was about to give his son a present that would encourage him to perhaps go and take the same risks that she had.\u00a0 How could he do it?\u00a0 How could he risk the last link that he had with her?\u00a0 He knew his little boy was disappointed in him because he had not kept the promise he had made to him. But how could he do that now?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He thought of the green eyes turned up towards him and cringed at the memory of what he had seen in them.\u00a0 He thought of his other two sons, trying to be so brave without him. He stood up with the package still in his hand and walked to the door. It was time to confront the pain and move forward again for the sake of his three boys and himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Ben reached the bottom of the stairs he paused and stared at the sight before him.\u00a0 Little Joe was seated on Adam\u2019s lap, and Hoss was next to them on the settee while Adam read to them both.\u00a0 Ben walked over to his boys and sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Come here Little Joe.\u2019 he said as he held out his arms to his youngest boy. \u2018I have something for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe looked at his father solemnly. \u2018What is it Pa?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Come and see.\u2019 Ben held out the small wrapped gift.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe looked at it, a smile slowly spreading across his young face. \u2018Another present?\u2019 he asked as he bounced off Adam\u2019s lap and onto his father\u2019s.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes\u2019 said Ben and handed him the small parcel.\u00a0 Little Joe tore off the paper to reveal a small bridle.\u00a0 \u2018It\u2019s for that pony I promised you. We\u2019ll go out after lunch to pick him out.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe looked up at his father, his green eyes shining. \u2018Thanks Pa! Really? Can I name him myself?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Of course you can, he\u2019ll be your pony won\u2019t he?\u2019 said Ben as he hugged the little boy tightly.\u00a0 Over the top of the curly head he smiled at Hoss who returned his look with a huge grin.\u00a0 \u2018Now let\u2019s get to that cake boys, before the candles all burn out!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben picked up Little Joe and placed him on a chair at the table.\u00a0 As they clustered around the small boy, he put his arm around Adam\u2019s shoulders and squeezed him tightly. \u2018Thank you son.\u2019 he whispered, and Adam held himself in his father\u2019s embrace for a few moments before they both turned back towards the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled down at the small face in front of him and whispered \u2018Blow out the candles son.\u2019 Six candles flickered brightly on the cake as the small boy shut his eyes and made a wish.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0A snapshot of each of the Cartwright boys on their sixth birthdays<\/p>\n

Rated: K+ (4,765 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":14924,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1478,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/six-candles.png?fit=289%2C183&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":50001,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=50001","url_meta":{"origin":2013,"position":0},"title":"Peace on Earth (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"December 25, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Christmas candles, a cranky baby, and a neglected Cartwright all add up to one special Christmas.\u00a0 Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 \u00a0 2,420 words Written for the 2024 Bonanza Brand Advent Calendar","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/unnamed.png?fit=512%2C466&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6061,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6061","url_meta":{"origin":2013,"position":1},"title":"The Sweet Smell of Success (by Patina)","author":"patina","date":"June 3, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Rating: K Word Count=3398 Summary:\u00a0Ben has an important guest coming for supper. Can Ben babysit Little Joe and prepare for his guest?","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14252,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14252","url_meta":{"origin":2013,"position":2},"title":"Birthday Boy (by faust)","author":"faust","date":"April 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Celebrating Adam's birthday was always a somewhat strained affair. But the new addition to the family didn't know that, and so something new happens that has everyone holding their breaths. 870 words, rated K","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/WoF-37Edengirl.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/WoF-37Edengirl.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/WoF-37Edengirl.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/WoF-37Edengirl.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":35385,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=35385","url_meta":{"origin":2013,"position":3},"title":"The Paper Toy-Theater (by Sibylle)","author":"Sibylle","date":"December 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Adam wishes to share a Christmas memory with Hoss, a memory begun by Inger. Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 \u00a01175 words\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 This story was written for the Bonanza Brand 2020 Advent Calendar, originated in the Forums.","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Hoss"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Hoss","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1090"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6025,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6025","url_meta":{"origin":2013,"position":4},"title":"Remembering Childhoods (by Patina)","author":"patina","date":"April 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a06th story in The Battle of Wills series.\u00a0 It's the morning after the events in New Expectations. Ben's thoughts of the coming baby make him remember Adam's childhood and Hoss' early years. Rating: K+\u00a0 \u00a0Word Count=3240 The Battle of Wills series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Ben Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Ben Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1004"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Fathers-Day.jpg?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12465,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12465","url_meta":{"origin":2013,"position":5},"title":"Many Shades of Guilt (by Sibylle)","author":"Sibylle","date":"January 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Guilt and mistakes \u2013 nobody is free of them. It\u2019s not only the big guilt following bad deeds that can affect your life, but also mistakes and misinterpretations. There are many shades of guilt, as even the Cartwrights had to learn. The story is set in 1863 and shows\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/adamreading.jpg?fit=211%2C223&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2013","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2013"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2013\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14924"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2013"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2013"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2013"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}