{"id":20169,"date":"2019-01-21T13:27:03","date_gmt":"2019-01-21T18:27:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=20169"},"modified":"2026-04-09T18:14:54","modified_gmt":"2026-04-09T22:14:54","slug":"winter-of-discontent-by-jc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=20169","title":{"rendered":"Winter of Discontent (by JC)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0<\/strong> An early snow and bitter cold has Ben Cartwright feeling his age, but there is more than just the dreary season behind his winter woes. (Part of the Ties That Bind series.)<\/p>\n

Rating\u00a0 T\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a06842 words<\/p>\n

Ties That Bind series<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ties That Bind<\/a>
\nImperfect Memory<\/a>
\nA Pearl Without Price<\/a>
\nA Piece of Cake<\/a>
\nSomething About Amy<\/a>
\nGuarding the Henhouse<\/a>
\nWhen Angels Cry<\/a>
\nNo Ordinary Day<\/a>
\nWinter of Discontent\u00a0<\/a>
\nInterval<\/a>
\nGently, Full of Grace\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WINTER OF DISCONTENT<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter One<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright was not a man given to morbid moods, at least not until lately.\u00a0 The Ponderosa lay under the shroud of an early winter, and its bleakness seemed to have crept into his soul.\u00a0 Aching joints and restless nights had him feeling older than his age; or perhaps it was just the years catching up with him. A trip to St. Louis at the end of the summer with two of his sons had taken more out of him than he cared to admit. Maybe it was time to turn things over to the boys.<\/p>\n

Not boys,<\/em> he reminded himself, flexing his stiffening hands in front of the fire.\u00a0 They were grown men, even Joe. \u00a0It had been three years since he had left the classroom roll and joined the Ponderosa payroll, becoming heady with manhood in the process. Yet at nineteen there was more of the boy left in him than in either of his brothers at that age. It wasn\u2019t entirely his fault, though. They had all three run their fair share of interference for him, whether Joe liked it or not.\u00a0 It was part and parcel of being the youngest son, and everyone knew it.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s thoughts turned from his sons to the daughter in San Francisco.\u00a0 To his delight, Jilly had spent the entire summer on the ranch after nearly four years away.\u00a0 In no time, he\u2019d grown accustomed to the lovely and lively addition to his household, relishing the laughter of all four of his children together again.\u00a0 He leaned his head against the mantel, smiling at the memory. It was bittersweet, for such moments had been too few and far between.<\/p>\n

Jilly\u2019s departure in September grieved him more than he had expected. \u00a0One more year, they both agreed.\u00a0 If she had wavered in the least, he would have gladly pulled her trunk off that stage in a heartbeat and brought her home to stay.\u00a0 But he knew she wouldn\u2019t. There were days since when her absence was almost a physical pain in his gut.\u00a0 Today seemed to be one of those days.\u00a0 Or maybe he was just getting to be a sentimental, doddering old man.<\/p>\n

The door blew open with a gust of wind and all three of his sons, back from town.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure is gettin\u2019 cold out there,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cI hate this weather.\u201d He didn\u2019t bother removing his coat before moving to the fire next to his father.<\/p>\n

Joe joined them.\u00a0 \u201cWe brought something that might cheer you up, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think I need cheering up?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled and handed him a letter. \u201cIt\u2019s what you\u2019ve been waiting for, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben would have recognized the polished script even without the San Francisco postmark. His face creased into a grin.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s about time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can blame it on the weather,\u201d said Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cDid I mention I hate it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly about a dozen times today,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

Ben retrieved the letter opener from his desk and slid it under the seal, exercising considerable restraint considering how hungry he was for any news from his youngest. His grin became a frown as he began reading.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Pa,<\/em><\/p>\n

I trust this letter finds you and my brothers well at home.\u00a0 I regret that I cannot say the same for us here.\u00a0 Not to worry, I am fine, but I have terrible news about Aunt Margaret.\u00a0 If you could see her now you would be as shocked and distressed as I was upon my return. In fact, it is hard to imagine her as the same woman who sent me off to you a few short months ago. She has given up any care for her appearance and would willingly wear the same clothes for a week at a time if no one intervened. Her failing memory makes meaningful conversation nearly impossible, as she repeats herself and asks the same questions over and over. But the worst part is the fact that sometimes she doesn\u2019t seem to recognize anyone, even Uncle Miles.\u00a0\u00a0 The doctors say she is losing her mind, and there is nothing that can be done.<\/em><\/p>\n

Of course, I understand there are things she would rather not remember.\u00a0 As one who has endured more than your own share of tragedy, you must surely have empathy for her losses. Not being a mother, I cannot imagine the sorrow of losing a child, much less all four of my children.\u00a0\u00a0 Obviously her fragile soul could not bear such a cruel blow, and so her mind has spared her the truth, allowing her daughters to live on out of sight.\u00a0 All except for one, it seems. \u00a0To Aunt Margaret, I am Claire, even though I am far from ten years old. I don\u2019t have the heart to correct her, especially when it seems to give her comfort, of which she has so little now.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bless Uncle Miles! He is so calm and patient with his \u201cdear one\u201d as he calls her, and yet I know his heart is breaking under the strain.\u00a0 I worry that he may not be well either.\u00a0 In addition to his burden at home, I suspect something is amiss at the bank.\u00a0 A man came to see him the other night, and it was clearly not a pleasant meeting.\u00a0 Uncle Miles seemed agitated after he left, though he brushed it off and assured me it was just business.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Pa, I am writing you these things not to worry you but because I am certain you would want to know.\u00a0 Uncle Miles and Aunt Margaret have been more than good to me, and I do love them so. Please pray for them and also for me as I try to do whatever I can to help them.\u00a0 I wish you were here so you could tell me what that might be. And even if there is no good answer, it would help just to feel your arms around me, because that always makes me believe that somehow things will turn out right.\u00a0 I love you and miss you so very much.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your faithful daughter, <\/em><\/p>\n

Jillian Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Pa? Is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid so. Margaret is very ill.\u201d\u00a0 He handed the letter back to Adam.<\/p>\n

It was difficult for Ben to imagine the fastidious, articulate Margaret Hightower as the woman Jilly described. But in the past four years she had lost her three daughters, two within weeks of each other. Alice Ann died of childbed fever following a stillbirth. Barbara and her husband perished in a fire late last winter. Trudy succumbed to pneumonia shortly after. (A fourth daughter, Claire, died before Jilly was even born.)\u00a0 Such an immense burden of grief could exact a toll on even the strongest mortal.<\/p>\n

Adam relinquished the letter to Joe, who had been reading over his shoulder. \u201cWell, it certainly has been a year of bad news for the Hightowers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Miles, he\u2019s lost all of them now.\u201d\u00a0 Ben wondered how he might fare in his place. Even though he had been widowed three times, he\u2019d never had to bury one of his children and prayed he never would.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Jilly, it must be hard on her too. I wouldn\u2019t want to be in her shoes.\u201d Joe passed the letter to Hoss.<\/p>\n

A few moments later Hop Sing entered from the kitchen, breaking the silence by announcing supper.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat stew sure smells good,\u201d said Hoss, finally shedding his coat. \u201cI\u2019m half-starved.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Annie\u2019s mulligan recipe. You eat while still hot.\u201d The cook set the tureen on the table to murmurs of appreciation.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

After the meal, the Cartwrights settled near the hearth in the great room, where the blazing fire barely managed to keep the chill at bay. With Hoss snoring beneath a blanket and Joe absorbed in a new dime novel, Ben faced Adam across the chess board, though his mind was hardly on the game.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your move, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Careless execution cost him his queen, prompting raised eyebrows from his oldest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanna talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever\u2019s bothering you, though I\u2019m sure I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just thinking about Miles, and how we take so much for granted. And tomorrow is Jilly\u2019s birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked up from his book. \u201cIt is, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSixteen,\u201d Adam confirmed.<\/p>\n

Ben thought of all the\u00a0birthdays and Christmases they\u2019d spent apart since she left. \u201cI suppose it\u2019s selfish of me to want her home when he and Margaret are in such dire straits. They need her more than we do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not selfish to want to be with the people we love. It\u2019s only human. We all miss her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right,\u201d said Joe. \u201cI remember how hard it was when she first went to San Francisco. All I could think about was how much I missed her. I know now it was a lot harder for you. I remember you telling me that sometimes we have to give up what we want for what\u2019s necessary.\u00a0 You\u2019re a lot of things, Pa, but selfish isn\u2019t one of them. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, can you keep it down?\u00a0 I\u2019m tryin\u2019 to get some sleep,\u201d Hoss complained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, tryin\u2019?\u201d Joe protested.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been sawin\u2019 logs for the past two hours!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss scrunched his face toward the clock. \u201cNo wonder I\u2019m so tired. It\u2019s past my bedtime. I\u2019m gone. \u00a0Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Weary but unable to sleep, Ben trudged downstairs to his desk shortly after midnight, lit the lamp and took out paper and pen.<\/p>\n

Dear Jilly,<\/em><\/p>\n

It was wonderful to receive your letter and to hear you are well, though your news about Margaret was most distressing. It grieves me not to be there with you, but you must remember you are not alone. God is always near. I know it is hard to trust when things look bleak, but I\u2019ve always believed there is a reason for the lives we live, even the sorrows we are sometimes called to bear. You may not understand why God has put you where you are, but be confident in His wisdom, and don\u2019t be afraid of doing the wrong thing as far as Miles and Margaret are concerned. Just love them as you always have. That is the greatest gift you can give them.<\/em><\/p>\n

The winter seems colder than usual, or perhaps your Pa is just getting old. I look forward to the spring, not just for the weather but for the joy of your homecoming, which I pray will be for good. \u00a0Your empty place at our table makes me miss you even more, especially on your birthday, which we have celebrated without you for the past five years.\u00a0 I can scarcely believe you are sixteen.\u00a0 I am so proud of the young woman you have become.\u00a0 Your mother would be proud too. <\/em><\/p>\n

Lately I\u2019ve been thinking of that morning in May when we tended her grave and planted the flowers. Watching you, I was reminded how much of her lives on in you. It brought me great comfort then, and the memory of that day warms me even now.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your brothers promise to write soon, though I wouldn\u2019t hold my breath if I were you; perhaps two out of three, if you\u2019re lucky. Of course, you know you can always count on Adam.<\/em><\/p>\n

I love you, my dearest girl. May God bless you and keep you safe.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your devoted father,<\/em><\/p>\n

Benjamin Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam penned his letter later that day.<\/p>\n

Dear Jilly,<\/em><\/p>\n

Today is your birthday, and though you won\u2019t get this letter for a while, at least when you read it you will know someone was thinking of you on your very special day.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Darling girl, it doesn\u2019t seem possible that you could be sixteen, and yet from our time together this summer I know it to be true.\u00a0 In some ways you seem even older. But honestly, when I think of you in absentia, I see the girl in the moonlight, and I suppose I always will. \u00a0Do you still have the poem?\u00a0 I confess I haven\u2019t written another one since.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I was truly sorry to hear about Margaret. It is hard to imagine what it must be like for Miles, and for you. He is lucky to have you there, not only because you can be helpful but because you are the only family he has left, even if not by blood. But just know there is only so much you can do, and don\u2019t drown in the process.\u00a0 Take care of yourself, too.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Though I don\u2019t wish to add to your worries, you should know Pa has not been himself lately. He insists he is fine and doesn\u2019t need to see Dr. Martin, but I think I might ask Paul to drop by for a friendly visit, if you know what I mean.\u00a0 I\u2019m not even sure it\u2019s physical, though. Pa thinks he is getting old, and when a person gets something like that in his mind he sometimes starts acting that way. Of course, he misses you (and I wish you could have seen his face light up when I gave him your letter). Winter has never been his favorite season, and the early snow seemed to put him off. Maybe that\u2019s all it is. <\/em><\/p>\n

It has been far too long since I\u2019ve been able to wish you a happy birthday in person. When you come home in the spring we\u2019re going to make up for it, I promise.\u00a0 In the meantime, your letters are a treasure to all of us even if the favor is not returned. Know that you are always in our hearts, sorely missed and dearly loved.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Ever your affectionate brother,<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This was from Hoss:<\/p>\n

Dear Jilly,<\/em><\/p>\n

I started writing you a while back but I don\u2019t know what happened to that letter, and here it is your birthday already.\u00a0 I wish you were here so I could just give you a big hug instead. I know it\u2019s not a happy time with Mrs. Hightower being so sick. She\u2019s such a nice lady and it makes me sad to think of her that way. \u00a0I know you\u2019re helping to take good care of her, and I\u2019m real proud of you for that.<\/em><\/p>\n

The barn cat had a litter of kittens, three but only two survived. They are gray tabbies, both girls. \u00a0I call them Molly and Dolly. You would love them. Coyotes got a few of Hop Sing\u2019s chickens but their hunting days are over now. Other than that, not much is new around here. <\/em><\/p>\n

It has been mostly quiet since you left. I reckon we got spoiled having you home over the summer, because the house feels a little lonesome now.\u00a0 Maybe it wouldn\u2019t be so bad if we weren\u2019t cooped up so much of the time. I don\u2019t know how it is in San Francisco, but the weather has been plumb awful here lately. I hate the cold and it hates me. Sometimes I wish I was a bear so I could just hunker down in a nice warm cave and sleep through the winter.<\/em><\/p>\n

I guess that\u2019s all for now. I know I haven\u2019t been too good about writing, but I\u2019ll try to do better. I love you and wish you a very happy birthday.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your big brother,<\/em><\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally, one from Joe:<\/p>\n

Dear Jilly,<\/em><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t faint. Yes, it\u2019s a letter from me, proving I actually do know how to write one. Well, it is your birthday after all, and this will have to be your gift, even though you\u2019re getting it late. Some gift, I know.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hop Sing made a cake in your honor today. I had two pieces, so don\u2019t worry, I took care of your share. It was chocolate, just like the one you smeared on me the day Andy and Deke were here. I know you won\u2019t forget that and neither will I.\u00a0 It was fun having you back home. I miss you. (Mitch does too, in case you\u2019re interested.)<\/em><\/p>\n

It can\u2019t be much fun in San Francisco but I guess that\u2019s where you are needed right now.\u00a0 I feel very sad for the Hightowers.\u00a0 They\u2019re good people. But like Pa says, bad things happen to good people all the time. We never know what\u2019s coming for us. I guess that\u2019s a good thing, because if we did, we\u2019d be too worried to ever enjoy anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what it is about winter, but Pa and Hoss have both been grumpy lately.\u00a0 Adam is his usual grumpy self but at least he\u2019s predictable.\u00a0 It must be the cold. I don\u2019t mind it so much, as long as I keep moving.\u00a0 And you know me; I can\u2019t sit still for long.\u00a0 I took Black Star out for a run the other day before the snow, which was good for both of us.\u00a0 I think he misses you, too.<\/em><\/p>\n

My hand is starting to cramp so I guess I\u2019ll stop here. You might want to frame this letter because it could be the only one you ever get from me. I\u2019m kidding, of course, but no promises. Deep down, you know I love you more than my saddle. \u00a0In fact, you\u2019re right up there with Cooch.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your brother,<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

P.S. The last line was supposed to make you laugh. I hope it did.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Two<\/strong><\/p>\n

A few weeks later, another letter arrived.<\/p>\n

My dearest family,<\/em><\/p>\n

Receiving your letters all in the same day was honestly the best birthday present I ever had, and well worth the wait! No one would have thought so if they had seen how much I cried. I could not help it, but I was careful not to reveal my tears to anyone except the angels. Heaven knows I wouldn\u2019t want to do anything to further upset things around here.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Aunt Margaret continues to decline. On rare occasions I still see the woman she used to be, and it makes it that much harder to watch her slip away. When she is awake she is sometimes difficult to contain, which is now necessary for her own health and safety. I cannot write it all in a letter. You would need to be here to understand.\u00a0 Someone must be with her at all times. The doctor suggested moving her to a hospital, but Uncle Miles said no, he had seen those kinds of \u2018hospitals\u2019 and he would not send his wife there. He is truly a devoted husband.<\/em><\/p>\n

Poor Uncle Miles seems to have aged greatly these past few months. He no longer goes to the bank every day. A federal marshal was here to see him yesterday, a formidable and stern-looking man named Jason Ross. Uncle Miles said it was nothing for me to worry about, but I fear he may be in trouble. I pray I am wrong.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Pa, I hope you will not be angry, but I have made arrangements with the school to home study for the remainder of the year. I am eligible, being sixteen and in good standing. Uncle Miles was against it at first but I persuaded him that it is for the best, in light of the situation. I can be much more helpful with Aunt Margaret now, and as long as I pass my exams at the end of the year I will still graduate with my class. I am very confident in my decision and hope you will understand.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are no words to tell you how much I love and miss all of you. To be truthful, some days I am restless for home, but other than that I am well and pray you are too. Christmas will soon be here, and I hope for more letters from you, and that means you too, Joe. I would be most happy to frame a matched set.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yours always,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Jilly<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were amused expressions at the ending, followed by silence.<\/p>\n

Ben frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t like it. She\u2019s taking on too much responsibility.\u00a0 It sounds like the situation is getting out of hand, and if Miles is in trouble\u2026I have a good mind to go to San Francisco and bring her home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be nearly impossible to get to San Francisco now, dangerous in weather like this,\u201d Adam reminded him. \u201cAnd even if you could get there, you might not be able to get home for who knows how long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but at least I\u2019d be there with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I know you\u2019re concerned, but Jilly has committed herself to helping Miles and Margaret, the best way she knows how.\u00a0 She\u2019s a mature young woman and I think this was her decision to make. We should respect that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s barely sixteen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but I think she deserves a little more credit. And like it or not, she has a life apart from us. Suppose you could get to San Francisco. How do you think she would feel if you went up there and ordered her home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I\u2019m wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not wrong for feeling the way you do. But maybe you should sit with the idea for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wish I had a clearer picture of what\u2019s going on there, what Miles is mixed up in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s nothing. \u00a0There\u2019s no need to borrow trouble by speculating.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need any lectures, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s tone carried an edge that no one missed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry; it wasn\u2019t my intention to lecture. \u00a0I\u2019m just trying to look at things reasonably.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, so now you think I\u2019m unreasonable?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Adam answered slowly. \u201cBut you\u2019re obviously upset, and I have to believe it\u2019s more than just this letter. Is there something you want to talk about, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Ben took a deep breath and let it out. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2026I think I\u2019ll ride into town for some air and a change of scenery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want some company?\u201d Joe offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, thank you. I believe I\u2019m still capable of making the trip by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

He left his sons staring after him.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

With no particular destination in mind, Ben wound up at Paul Martin\u2019s door.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, come in. What brings you to town?\u00a0 I saw Adam and Hoss in the mercantile this morning. I trust the boys made it home okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, they did. I hope I\u2019m not interrupting anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s been a quiet day, not that I\u2019m complaining. I was about to have a cup of tea.\u00a0 Would you care to join me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t mind my asking, is this a professional visit or merely a social call?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo tell you the truth, I\u2019m not really sure why I came.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you let me take a look at you?\u00a0 It\u2019s been while, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben agreed, though somewhat reluctantly, allowing Paul to listen to his chest and take his pulse.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny unusual pains?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing out of the ordinary. Just the aches of winter, I guess you could say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt came early with a vengeance, didn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

His reply was a grunt.<\/p>\n

Paul finished his examination and leaned back against his desk.\u00a0 \u201cBen, your heart is as strong as a man half your age. Your lungs are clear, your coloring is good and your reflexes are all normal. What else can you tell me? How\u2019s your appetite?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look a little tired.\u00a0 Trouble sleeping?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA little.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s not pain, then there must something else keeping you awake at night. I could give you something for the symptom but it won\u2019t address the cause. If it\u2019s something you\u2019re willing to share I\u2019d be happy to listen, not just as your doctor but also as your friend. Could that be the real reason you came?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it is. I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes it have anything to do with Jilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

The question surprised him. \u201cWhy would you ask that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I spoke with Adam this morning, I inquired about her, as I always do. He told me\u00a0 about the situation with the Hightowers, and how you were concerned about her, naturally.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI always felt I had done the right thing in sending her there, but now I\u2019m not so sure.\u201d Ben rested his chin against his fist and expelled a long sigh. \u201cIn some ways I feel as though I\u2019ve failed her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn what way?\u00a0 It seems to me you\u2019ve given the girl everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything except myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI let someone else raise her. Now when she needs me I can\u2019t even be there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did what you could, what you believed was best for her.\u00a0 She has grown into a fine young woman because of that, and I think she\u2019d be the last one to say you failed her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wouldn\u2019t say it in those words.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, it seems to me you\u2019re feeling guilty for circumstances beyond your control, and that doesn\u2019t sound like you. You\u2019re normally one of the most pragmatic men I know. Don\u2019t you think you\u2019re overreaching a bit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I\u2019m borrowing trouble? That\u2019s what Adam suggested.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you?\u201d Paul\u2019s eyes were kind.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, maybe.\u00a0 Or maybe I\u2019m just an old man feeling sorry for himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not that old, my friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben dropped his head.\u00a0 \u201cI miss my girl. I just want her home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul placed a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s the first thing you\u2019ve said that makes sense to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

After his visit with Paul, Ben stopped at the jail to see Roy, and following a game of checkers and some of the sheriff\u2019s notoriously bad coffee he was nearing home in the murky twilight, feeling more like himself in spite of the cold. The trip into town had lifted his perspective. He was still thinking of Jilly, though, and of something she\u2019d said that morning after they had returned from Marie\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t even recall what prompted it, but in reference to her brothers she\u2019d said it, plainly and calmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t love me the way you love them.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The pronouncement was neither accusation nor judgment. There was no self-pity, no reproach; no regret. It was merely an observation, delivered as dispassionately as one might comment on the weather or the market price of beef. Still, the quiet force of her words staggered him, their weight on his heart crushing.<\/p>\n

Every parent knows that all children are not created equal, but he had never valued one of his over the others. It wasn\u2019t even within his power to do so. Yet nature had drawn its own dividing line between them.\u00a0 His youngest seemed more aware of that than he was.<\/p>\n

In response, he did what any father in that situation would do. He denied it.<\/p>\n

The smile he received was meant to reassure him that he had not failed in his duties, and yet he couldn\u2019t help but wonder if indeed he had.<\/p>\n

On one hand he counted among his blessings three wonderful sons, each different from the other and yet like him in so many ways. On the other hand was one lovely daughter he\u2019d never known quite what to do with, who even now was an enigma.<\/p>\n

The world recognizes the worth of sons as bearers of a man\u2019s name and legacy for future generations. They are a testimony of his strength and longevity, a sign that he will not perish from the earth. So while sons are celebrated, daughters often grow up in their shadows. It was not an intentional neglect or a lack of love; it was more a matter of social order and circumstance.<\/p>\n

Looking back, perhaps his biggest mistake was not in loving her less, for that he could never do, but in assuming she understood that different measures were still equal. It pained him to think she might have grown up not just believing but willing to accept the fact that her brothers had more of a claim on him than she did. If that was the case, then he had failed.<\/p>\n

Hunched in the saddle, his head lowered as a shield against the raw winter wind, Ben hadn\u2019t noticed when the snow first began. The heavens seemed to open all at once, swirling a torrent of flakes around him, thrusting him into the center of a white abyss.\u00a0 Suddenly he couldn\u2019t see five feet in front of him.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d left his usual mount at home in favor of a new acquisition in need of exercise. It was a decision he now regretted. The horse shied and whirled beneath him, something Buck would not have done. He lost a stirrup as the animal bolted, and seconds later he met the ground.<\/p>\n

It was a jarring introduction, but he didn\u2019t have long to think about it.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

Joe peered out the window. \u201cDon\u2019t you think he should have been back by now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot necessarily. It isn\u2019t that late. I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be home soon.\u201d Adam tried to sound reassuring.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but it\u2019s snowing again. Right now It\u2019s coming down pretty hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe he decided to stay in town,\u201d Hoss ventured. \u201cHe might have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d murmured Joe.<\/p>\n

Not one of them believed that.<\/p>\n

A horse\u2019s whinny broke the silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere he is,\u201d said Adam. \u201cWhat\u2019d I tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess you were right,\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Joe turned from the window to retrieve his coat and hat.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not Pa. It\u2019s just his horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Three<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cold.<\/p>\n

Bitter, bone numbing, flesh stinging cold assured him he was still alive. Icy flakes encrusted his eyelashes as he raised his lids to the fuzzy lateral view. Lifting his head to shake the snow from his ears, a jolting pain in his shoulder drove him back down. He rolled on his back, then to his other side so he could push up to a sitting position. His hat was missing, but at least he had his scarf and gloves.<\/p>\n

The fall had knocked him out, but for how long he couldn\u2019t tell. The dull ache in his head pounded with every heartbeat.\u00a0 That fool horse had disappeared but if he managed to find his way back to the ranch without a rider (which seemed doubtful), the boys would be out looking for him.\u00a0 In the meantime, he\u2019d just have to start walking.<\/p>\n

Ben tied his scarf around his head and lumbered to his feet, swaying a little at first as the upright world came into focus.\u00a0 Still dazed from the fall, he struggled to get his bearings in the dark. The snow had picked up and so had the wind, making it even harder to see.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to trust his instincts.\u00a0 One foot in front of the other\u2026home couldn\u2019t be far\u2026.<\/p>\n

Apparently, it was farther than he thought.<\/p>\n

His head and shoulder both throbbed, and as if that wasn\u2019t bad enough, he was beginning to feel dizzy. The pain and darkness were disorienting, clouding his thoughts. He steadied himself next to a tree and caught a ragged breath. He should have been close to home by now, but nothing looked familiar. Squinting in an effort to better view his surroundings, he thought he saw a light.\u00a0 Was it really there, or was it merely the trick of a frantic mind?<\/p>\n

Before he could be sure, a wave of nausea doubled him over, making him retch. The light exploded into a thousand pinpoints peppering his vision before his knees gave way and everything went black.<\/p>\n

The snow continued to fall, but he no longer felt the cold.<\/p>\n

~*~<\/p>\n

He felt the salt spray on his face, like in the old days.\u00a0 He\u2019d been a younger man then, with the world in front of him, before his sons were even a gleam in his eye. They were waiting for him now. He\u2019d sailed to New Orleans with hopes of a lucrative profit from the sale of his furs, but he was returning with so much more.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

His new bride stood next to him. It had been a difficult voyage, but she had weathered it stoically, in spite of recurrent bouts of sea sickness. He put his arm around her, and she smiled up at him.\u00a0 How young she looked, younger even than the day they met.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t known it then, but Marie DeMarigny had already captured his heart, and in spite of all the reasons why he should not have married her, he knew he could not leave the city without her. <\/em><\/p>\n

It almost made him weep when she came to him. He had been so long without the comfort of a woman he had forgotten how good it felt just to lie next to someone, flesh against flesh, hearts beating as one. \u00a0She was no stranger to sorrow herself.\u00a0 They drank deeply of one another\u2019s loneliness, where hungering love took root and blossomed.<\/em><\/p>\n

A new wife, a new life, and soon after, another son\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019ll call him Joseph, after your father, she\u2019d said, and we\u2019ll have a dozen more if God wills. He remembered her smile when she said it.\u00a0 She was willing then, even if God was not.<\/em><\/p>\n

Being a good mother seemed to come naturally to her. Being a rancher\u2019s wife was much harder. \u00a0He hadn\u2019t known how difficult it would be for both of them. She was restive and stubborn, almost as stubborn as he was, and that was something he wasn\u2019t used to. Heaven knew he loved her, but at the same time Marie vexed him as no woman ever had before. <\/em><\/p>\n

By the time Little Joe was two years old, it seemed pretty well established that those \u201cdozen more\u201d were not going to happen. What followed was a cold winter in more ways than one. He would not beg her favors. They were polite but avoided each other\u2019s eyes much of the time. How could two people who claimed to love each other end up in such a state? They seemed to be living the proverb \u201cmarry in haste, repent at leisure.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

Passions unearthed are sometimes hard to completely bury again, and a spark still remained near the surface.\u00a0 It caught fire one night, unexpectedly. The next morning, it was as if the night had never happened. \u00a0If she wanted to leave, he wouldn\u2019t stop her. But she would not take his son. He didn\u2019t have to tell her that; she knew. And if only for that reason, he knew she would stay. <\/em><\/p>\n

The pregnancy was a surprise to both of them. She gave him the news with hardly any emotion, unlike the first time, and he didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 It was what they had both wanted, once\u2014but then\u2026they just looked at each other in silence. When she started to cry, some of the pride in which he\u2019d wrapped himself ebbed away. That was the day they began to find their way back. <\/em><\/p>\n

A broken road is hard to travel; but slowly, purposefully, sometimes painfully, they did it. The love they gained in the process was stronger than what they had before because they both fought to earn it. And when he held their baby girl for the first time, he couldn\u2019t help but think, \u201cif not for you\u2026\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

God works His will in mysterious ways, giving, and then taking away. He had long ago accepted the fact but never pretended to understand.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI did the best I knew how without you, Marie.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you did, my love. And that\u2019s the most anyone can do.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut was it enough?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me, it was more than enough. You gave her deep roots and strong wings, just like your sons.\u201d\u00a0 Her voice was soft and warm, like the darkness that enveloped him, and he felt her hand on his shoulder. \u201cBut you must wake up now, or they won\u2019t find you in time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, wake up!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Gasping for breath, he woke up face down in the snow. It took every ounce of his strength to push himself up again, his left arm mostly useless. He staggered back to the tree. The snow was blinding now. No doubt his sons were looking for him, but any tracks he\u2019d made had likely been covered. And he had the unsettling feeling that he\u2019d been walking away from the ranch house instead of toward it.<\/p>\n

He sank to the ground, propped against the trunk, too weak to go on.\u00a0\u00a0 His fingers, though nearly numb, found the gun on his hip, and he slid it from the holster.\u00a0 It was a slim chance, but it was his only hope.\u00a0 The best he could do.<\/p>\n

Three shots, before his hand went limp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter Four<\/strong><\/p>\n

A light touch on his brow, warm\u2026 Marie?<\/em>\u00a0 No. It was a man\u2019s voice that roused him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe he\u2019s waking up, boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben opened his eyes to the welcome sight of his three anxious sons at his bedside.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you feel?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

He managed a smile in spite of the pounding in his head. \u201cBlessed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should, because you are,\u201d said Paul, packing up his bag.\u00a0 \u201cIf your boys hadn\u2019t found you when they did you wouldn\u2019t be here. You must have had a guardian angel looking out for you. Again,\u201d he added with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d have to agree with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven so, you\u2019re weak, and in addition to that shoulder I suspect you\u2019ve got a concussion, so you\u2019ll be staying in bed for the next few days. Understood?\u201d<\/p>\n

He hadn\u2019t the strength to argue. \u201cYes, doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see to it,\u201d Adam promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. I\u2019ll show myself out. You know where to find me if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, my friend,\u201d said Ben, \u201cfor everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul pressed his hand reassuringly. \u201cYou\u2019re more than welcome. I\u2019ll look in on you next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched him go, and then turned toward his sons. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for being such a cantankerous old fool lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw Pa, you\u2019re not that old,\u201d said Joe, grinning.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis weather\u2019s got everybody cranky,\u201d asserted Hoss. \u201cDid I mention I hate it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYES,\u201d Joe and Adam chimed together.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know how you feel, Hoss. I let it get the best of me too,\u201d Ben admitted.\u00a0 \u201cBut we have to remember, it\u2019s only for a season. This too shall pass. Besides, we really have nothing to complain about, do we?\u201d<\/p>\n

His middle son\u2019s expression turned sheepish with a small grin.\u00a0 \u201cNo sir, we sure don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I intend to stop feeling sorry for myself and remember to count my blessings. From this day on you boys are going to see a new Pa, I promise you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll just settle for the one we know and love.\u201d Joe edged in closer and touched his father\u2019s arm, his eyes bright with tears.<\/p>\n

Ben covered Joe\u2019s hand with his, waiting for the lump in his throat to subside enough for him to speak. \u201cI know I don\u2019t say it enough, but I\u2019m so thankful for you three, and proud of the men you\u2019ve become. You\u2019re everything a father could want.\u00a0 I knew you\u2019d be looking for me; I just prayed you were close enough to hear my signal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSignal?\u201d Hoss looked confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree shots, like always.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t hear a signal.\u00a0 Joe said he saw a light and took off after it.\u00a0 We just followed him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA light?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it was a light, but I could never figure out where it came from or where it went,\u201d said Joe. \u00a0\u201cAnyway, it was the right direction, because there you were.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour gun was out of your holster, but it hadn\u2019t been fired,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

Now it was Ben\u2019s turn to look confused.\u00a0 \u201cBut I fired three times. At least I thought\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes the mind can play tricks on a person under duress,\u201d Adam volunteered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

The brothers exchanged glances before Hoss spoke.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019ll go down to the kitchen and ask Hop Sing to warm up some broth for you, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go with you,\u201d offered Joe. \u201cWe\u2019ll be back in a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam waited until they were out of the room.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I know you\u2019ve been worried and upset lately\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019ve been wrong,\u201d murmured Ben. \u201cI know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened? Did you have an epiphany out there in the snow?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben met his son\u2019s bemused expression with a faint smile. \u201cPerhaps I did. I know I\u2019ve made mistakes, but I\u2019ve always tried to do the best I could for my children, give them what I felt they needed to prepare them for the world. I just have to trust that it was enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was more than enough\u2014you can ask any one of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe said the same thing.\u201d His eyelids suddenly felt like lead weights.<\/p>\n

Deep roots\u2026strong wings\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe who?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Sleep claimed him before he could answer, but she was waiting for him in his dream, where the world was new and love had no end. They danced beneath a moon that outshone the stars, and spring came once more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For behold, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Song of Solomon 2:11<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**End**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: \u00a0<\/strong>Ben Cartwright, ESB, Family, Jilly Cartwright, Marie Cartwright, Paul Martin<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 An early snow and bitter cold has Ben Cartwright feeling his age, but there is more than just the dreary season behind his winter woes. (Set in the Ties That Bind universe but can be read alone)<\/p>\n

Rating\u00a0 T\u00a0 \u00a0 6842 words<\/p>\n

Links to other stories in the series are included<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10253,"featured_media":3737,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1004,23,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-ben-cartwright","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-1004-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1956,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ben.jpg?fit=264%2C281&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":15151,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15151","url_meta":{"origin":20169,"position":0},"title":"Something About Amy (by JC)","author":"JC","date":"August 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Tennyson said, \"It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.\" \u00a0What would Joe Cartwright say? (WHI\/WHN for The Truckee Strip and part of the Ties That Bind AU series) Rating K+ \u00a0 (1782 words) Ties That Bind Series, links to stories within the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/truckee60.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/truckee60.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/truckee60.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/truckee60.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21849,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=21849","url_meta":{"origin":20169,"position":1},"title":"Interval (by JC)","author":"JC","date":"May 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 What is it like, being a Cartwright daughter?\u00a0 Only one person could tell you, and it might not be what you think. Chronologically, this story takes place shortly after Winter of Discontent and is an expansion of a recent Pine Cone Challenge bit posted in the forum, the prompt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/san-francisco-1800s.png.jpeg?fit=785%2C588&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/san-francisco-1800s.png.jpeg?fit=785%2C588&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/san-francisco-1800s.png.jpeg?fit=785%2C588&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/san-francisco-1800s.png.jpeg?fit=785%2C588&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13814,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13814","url_meta":{"origin":20169,"position":2},"title":"A Pearl Without Price (by JC)","author":"JC","date":"January 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Adam Cartwright knows well there are some things in this world that money can\u2019t buy, and other things are priceless. (Part of the Ties That Bind AU series) Rating: K+\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (1,425 words) Ties That Bind Series, links to stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Joe"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15799,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15799","url_meta":{"origin":20169,"position":3},"title":"No Ordinary Day (by JC)","author":"JC","date":"January 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: It was supposed to be an ordinary trip into town for the Cartwrights, but dying wasn't on anyone's list. (Part of the Ties That Bind AU series) Rating: K+ (2088 words) Ties That Bind Series, links to stories of this series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14080,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14080","url_meta":{"origin":20169,"position":4},"title":"A Piece of Cake (by JC)","author":"JC","date":"March 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0How hard can it be, taking care of two little boys for one day? \u00a0That's what Joe thinks.... (Part of the Ties That Bind AU series) Rating: K \u00a0 \u00a0(1661 words) Ties That Bind Series, links to stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14039,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14039","url_meta":{"origin":20169,"position":5},"title":"Stranger in the Night (by JC)","author":"JC","date":"March 8, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A Bonanza Gothic poem written for the 2017 \"Once Upon A Midnight Dreary\" challenge honoring the birthday of Edgar Allen Poe. Rating: K+ \u00a0 (251 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/The-Robe-e1410283539118.jpg?fit=627%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/The-Robe-e1410283539118.jpg?fit=627%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/The-Robe-e1410283539118.jpg?fit=627%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10253"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20169"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20169\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3737"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}