{"id":20550,"date":"2019-03-29T23:32:33","date_gmt":"2019-03-30T03:32:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=20550"},"modified":"2026-06-07T23:00:20","modified_gmt":"2026-06-08T03:00:20","slug":"becoming-ben-cartwright-aka-the-ballad-of-lorne-greene-by-jc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=20550","title":{"rendered":"Becoming Ben Cartwright, aka The Ballad of Lorne Greene (by JC)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0<\/strong> The day a balding, middle-aged, B-movie actor became a legend in the making. (Written in the style of Lorne Greene’s Number One hit recording of “Ringo”)<\/p>\n

Rating: G\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Word Count: 203<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Becoming Ben Cartwright<\/strong>
\n(aka The Ballad of Lorne Greene)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stood six feet in his stockings bare
\nWith a furrowed\u00a0 brow and thinning hair
\nSome doubted he could play the lead,
\nThen he picked up the script and began to read.
\nA baritone rumble shook the room;
\nThe Voice of Canada, the Voice of Doom —<\/p>\n

Lorne Greene.<\/p>\n

(Lorne Greene…Lorne Greene…)<\/em><\/p>\n

Jaws went slack when he reached the end;
\nThe producer smiled, “The part’s yours, friend.
\nWe’ll get you in wardrobe right away;
\nWith a vest and a hat and a good toupee,
\nSome hand tooled boots, a holster and gun,
\nYou’ll make a great Pa to three fine sons.
\nThis show’s a bonanza and you’ll be a star,
\nWith fans galore and a new Chevy car,
\nViewed by millions on weekly TV
\nIn bright living color on NBC.
\nYour day has arrived; you’re destined for fame!
\nJust sign on the line where we’ve printed your name.”<\/p>\n

Fortune smiled, and so did the man
\nPerusing the contract in his hand.
\nThe words seemed clear, their meaning plain,
\nThen a dark brow raised; one thing remained…<\/p>\n

“It’s ‘Greene’ with an ‘e”, not green as in pea.”
\nAnd the rest, as they say, is history.<\/p>\n

Lorne Greene…Lorne Greene…<\/em><\/p>\n

(Jingle spurs, repeat and fade….)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:<\/strong> \u00a0 Ben Cartwright, tongue-in-cheek<\/p>\n

For a complete, up to date list of my stories, check out <\/strong>JC’s Author Page<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 The day a balding, middle-aged, B-movie actor became a legend in the making. (Written in the style of Lorne Greene’s Number One hit recording of “Ringo”)<\/p>\n

Rating: G\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Word Count: 203<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10253,"featured_media":13010,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[4,687,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-modern-day","category-poetry","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-687-id","wpcat-9-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Ben-1.jpg?fit=234%2C234&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20550","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10253"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20550"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20550\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13010"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}