{"id":2078,"date":"2009-09-05T16:49:05","date_gmt":"2009-09-05T20:49:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2078"},"modified":"2026-03-07T18:51:08","modified_gmt":"2026-03-07T23:51:08","slug":"isolation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2078","title":{"rendered":"Isolation (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Joe is hurt in an accident in the lumber camp<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K (13,520 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Isolation<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam wiped his forehead and stood up to stretch for a moment.\u00a0 This was back breaking work and even though he had wanted desperately to prove to his father that he could do it, he was beginning to wonder if he\u2019d taken on more than he could handle. He had a fair knowledge of the timber business thanks to his father allowing him to be involved with it since he had returned from College some years before and had even made some improvements that had proved to be very worthwhile.\u00a0 But this was the first time that he had taken on full control of the whole operation and he was finding it a challenge.<\/p>\n

He was determined however to prove that he could do a successful job, to both his father and himself.\u00a0 With this in mind, Adam had thrown himself wholeheartedly into the operation and had involved himself at every level of the operation.\u00a0 His father was counting on him to have things finalised up here in time to meet the contract from the railroad and he was determined that everything would go as planned.\u00a0 He glanced down the hillside with a hint of satisfaction to see all the men on task as a wagonload of logs were taken along the trail towards the lumber mill.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned as he spied something else on the trail coming towards them.\u00a0 It was his youngest brother on horseback and he was waving widely to the men as he passed them.\u00a0 He wondered what had brought the kid up here.\u00a0 One thing was for sure\u2026.he didn\u2019t need the added complication of his kid brother while he was trying to keep control of things.\u00a0 Adam put down his axe and strode towards him, determined to send the boy packing.<\/p>\n

\u2018What are you doing here?\u2019 he asked without so much as a hello.<\/p>\n

Joe grinned at him as he slid out of the saddle. \u2018Hi Adam. I came to see how you\u2019re getting on.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t return the grin. \u2018Does Pa know you\u2019re up here?\u2019 he demanded.<\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t seem concerned at his remark. \u2018Nope.\u00a0 Should he?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Absolutely!\u00a0 You know you\u2019re not supposed to be around here without his permission.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders. \u2018He never actually said that.\u00a0 He just said that I wasn\u2019t to annoy you or Hoss while you\u2019re up here.\u00a0 And I ain\u2019t.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam continued to frown. \u2018Well you are annoying me. I\u2019ve got enough to do without looking after you, so get on home.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s grin disappeared. \u2018No.\u2019 he said shortly. \u2018I don\u2019t have to and you can\u2019t make me.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I can and I will,\u2019 replied his older brother. \u2018Now get!\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe looked over his shoulder and waved. \u2018Hi Hoss,\u2019 he yelled while ignoring Adam\u2019s instructions. He began to walk over to his other brother. \u2018What are you up to with that?\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss looked up from the box he was carrying. \u2018Stand back,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s fuses for the dynamite.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Dynamite! Wow! What are you going to blast?\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam caught up with his youngest brother and pulled him by backwards by the arm. \u2018I told you to get home and I meant it,\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018You know that Pa wouldn\u2019t approve of you being here when we\u2019re blasting.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Aw come on Adam!\u00a0 I ain\u2019t a little kid any more,\u2019 said Joe, trying to free himself from his brother\u2019s grasp. \u2018I\u2019m fifteen after all.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You\u2019re still not old enough to be around here,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018You should have gone straight home after school anyway.\u00a0 Pa\u2019ll be wondering where you are.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa\u2019s up in the North pasture,\u2019 said Joe in a frustrated tone. \u2018And I\u2019m not going to get in the way.\u00a0 I just want to stay for a bit.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go with Hoss.\u00a0 Is that OK Hoss?\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u2018No it ain\u2019t,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ve got work to do setting these fuses and it\u2019s like Adam says little buddy.\u00a0 You shouldn\u2019t be here.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe glared at him.\u00a0 He had expected support from his middle brother at least. \u2018I\u2019ve got every right to be here!\u2019 he said angrily.<\/p>\n

\u2018No you don\u2019t,\u2019 countered Adam. \u2018I\u2019m in charge and I\u2019m telling you to go home.\u00a0 Now get!\u2019 He propelled the boy towards his horse and gave him a push up so that Joe was forced to mount. \u2018Goodbye,\u2019 he said in a determined voice and stood back with his arms crossed in front of him.<\/p>\n

Joe had no choice but to obey.\u00a0 He turned his horse and without a backward glance headed off back down the trail.<\/p>\n

\u2018I guess we coulda let him stay fer a little bit,\u2019 said Hoss at Adam\u2019s elbow.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t have time to babysit him and neither do you,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018Now aren\u2019t the men waiting for those fuses?\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss shrugged his shoulders. \u2018Sure thing boss,\u2019 he said cheekily. \u2018I\u2019m right on it.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam grinned at him before picking up his axe again. \u2018Damn fool kid,\u2019 he muttered under his breath as he attacked the tree again. \u2018Pa\u2019d have his hide if he knew he\u2019d come up here. He never learns.\u2019<\/p>\n

——————<\/p>\n

After riding for a couple of hundred metres down the trail, Joe stoped his horse and turned.\u00a0 He had no intention of letting his brothers boss him around like that and was determined to have his own way.\u00a0 If he wanted to see the blasting then he had every right to do so!\u00a0 Besides, Adam wouldn\u2019t even know if he was careful about it.\u00a0 He rode up the hill away from the trail back towards the camp.<\/p>\n

As he neared the clearing Joe could hear the sound of the men working.\u00a0 He quickly dismounted and tied Cochise to a tree, then crouched over as he steadily crept forward.\u00a0 He aimed to reach the edge of the clearing and look for where they blasting, then position himself to get a clear look.\u00a0 It would only take a few minutes and then he would go as quietly as he had come, with neither of his brothers being any the wiser.\u00a0 He\u2019d be home in plenty of time to get his chores done before Pa made it home and he\u2019d be able to avoid trouble on all fronts.<\/p>\n

Joe grinned to himself as he crept forward.\u00a0 As usual he had everything planned to perfection.\u00a0 He felt that it was amazing how much he was able to get away with sometimes without his family knowing.\u00a0 If Pa only\u2026.. he stopped as he heard Hoss\u2019 voice.<\/p>\n

“That\u2019s fine.\u00a0 Now the other one,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 Joe stopped.\u00a0 His brother sounded like he was only a few feet way.\u00a0 Joe crouched down even further.\u00a0 He had to be careful, for he knew that if Hoss saw him he\u2019d send him packing just as Adam had done. \u2018Right,\u2019 came Hoss\u2019 voice again. \u2018That\u2019s it then.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe kept still, not daring to move for fear of being detected. He would give it a few moments and then poke his head out to see which direction they were headed in.\u00a0 Then he\u2019d be able to\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

Joe never even heard the blast when it came.\u00a0 He had a sensation of being pushed backwards as if flying through the air, but he never even heard a thing.\u00a0 It took him totally unaware.\u00a0 All he had time for was a quick thought that maybe he should have moved quicker and then the blackness over came him and he knew nothing.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s got it,\u2019 said Hoss in a satisfied voice. \u2018It\u2019s cleared more than I\u2019d hoped for.\u00a0 Come on.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get to work getting rid of this mess now.\u2019\u00a0 He strode forward with several of the men, determined to get as much of the debris cleared before the rest of the crew came in with their axes.\u00a0 \u2018You men start over there,\u2019 he said pointing his arm.\u00a0 You lot come with me.\u2019<\/p>\n

He got to work immediately and expected everyone else to do the same, so it was with surprise that he heard a voice moments later calling him.\u00a0 He stood up to see a group of men gesturing to him. \u2018Hoss!\u00a0 Over here! Quickly!\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss ran over towards them and met them with a questioning look. \u2018What is it?\u2019 he asked anxiously. \u2018What\u2019s the\u2026\u2026\u2026. Oh Lord!\u2019 he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of his younger brother lying on the ground in front of them. \u2018Get Adam!\u2019 he shouted as he knelt by the boy\u2019s body. Hurry!\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss leant down and gathered his little brother in his arms. \u2018Joe!\u2019 he cried. \u2018What have ya gone and done now boy? Joe little buddy\u2026.open ya eyes and answer me!\u00a0 It\u2019s me little buddy.\u00a0 It\u2019s Hoss!\u00a0 Answer me!\u2019<\/p>\n

But the boy lay limp in is brother\u2019s arms and didn\u2019t stir.\u00a0 Hoss felt panic overtake him and he began to shake his brother. \u2018Joe!\u00a0 Don\u2019t ya hear me?\u00a0 Wake up!\u2019 He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to meet Adam\u2019s fearful eyes. \u2018He got caught in the blast,\u2019 Hoss explained. \u2018I didn\u2019t know he was there Adam.\u00a0 He musta snuck back again.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam felt for a pulse. \u2018He\u2019s alive,\u2019 he said simply and turned to shout over his shoulder. \u2018Get a wagon up here now!\u00a0 And some one ride for the doctor.\u00a0 Get him out to the ranch as soon as possible.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get him straight there.\u00a0 It\u2019s closer than town.\u2019<\/p>\n

There was a flurry of activity behind them and within a minute the two brothers were left alone with Joe while the men hurried to do their bidding.\u00a0 Adam sat down next tot Hoss and felt for Joe\u2019s pulse again.\u00a0 The two brothers looked at each other helplessly over the curly hair of their younger brother.\u00a0 Nothing was said as they waited for the wagon.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s Pa!\u2019 said Hoss, looking out of the window. \u2018He musta got the message.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Is the doctor with him?\u2019 asked Adam without taking his eyes off the boy in the bed.<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u2018No, but he shouldn\u2019t be too much longer.\u2019<\/p>\n

Within moments the door was flung open and Ben Cartwright appeared with a worried look on his face. \u2018I heard,\u2019 he said with his eyes firmly fixed on his son in the bed. \u2018All Charlie said was that he was hurt.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t give me any details.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam shifted over to make room for his father to sit down. \u2018He got caught in an explosion,\u2019 he said. \u2018Up at the timber operation.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018What?!\u2019 Ben thundered. \u2018What the he\u2026. What on earth was he doing up there?\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged his shoulders. \u2018He just appeared,\u2019 he said. \u2018You know what he\u2019s like Pa.\u00a0 I tried to get him to leave and I thought he had\u2026\u2026but apparently not.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u2018We\u2019ll deal with that later,\u2019 he said. \u2018The important thing is to make sure that he\u2019s alright.\u2019 He felt his son\u2019s forehead and checked under his eyelids for a flicker of life.\u00a0 \u2018Has he been unconscious all this time?\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u2018Yes. There\u2019s been no response to anything.\u00a0 His pulse is strong, just a bit fluttery now and then.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben felt the boy\u2019s head. \u2018There doesn\u2019t seem to be any sign of a lump,\u2019 he said. \u2018Have you checked his arms and legs?\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss stepped forward. \u2018There doesn\u2019t seem ta be anything wrong Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Nothing we can tell anyways.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018You\u2019ve sent for the doctor,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 It was more of a statement than a question.<\/p>\n

At that moment a sound in the yard below caused them all to turn.\u00a0 Hoss walked to the window again. \u2018It\u2019s Doc Martin,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll bring him up.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben sat and stared at the boy in front of him while he waited for the doctor to appear. Joseph?\u2019 he said gently. \u2018Joe son, can you hear me?\u00a0 It\u2019s Pa son.\u00a0 Wake up now.\u2019\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t stir, but lay as still as before.\u00a0 Ben noted with relief his son\u2019s regular breathing pattern, even though he appeared to be extremely pale.\u00a0 He had some superficial bruises and scratches on his face and arms, but apart from that he looked as if he was merely asleep. He closed his eyes for a moment and said a silent prayer that all would be well for his boy.<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben?\u2019 He leapt to his feet as Paul Martin\u2019s voice sounded behind him. \u2018I came as soon as I heard,\u2019 the doctor said. \u2018An explosion, the boys told me.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded his head. \u2018Yes. He seems to be breathing fine though and his pulse is regular. Just some scratches and bruising that I can see.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul put his bag on the bed and bent over Joe.\u00a0 He pulled his eyelids back and shone a light into the boy\u2019s eyes before taking his pulse. \u2018Seems to be alright,\u2019 he said before pulling his stethoscope out of his bag.\u00a0 After a few minutes of listening to the boy\u2019s chest he straightened up. \u2018Heart seems alright too.\u00a0 Was he thrown very far?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked around at his two other boys. \u2018We\u2019re not sure,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018We don\u2019t know where he was to begin with Doc.\u00a0 We just found him on the ground like this.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u2018Well I\u2019ll check him over completely,\u2019 he said. The three Cartwrights watched for several minutes as the doctor checked the youngster thoroughly for any signs of distress on his body.\u00a0 After while he spoke again. \u2018I can\u2019t find anything,\u2019 he said. \u2018Of course that\u2019s not to say that he\u2019s escaped unscathed. We\u2019ll have to wait until he wakes up to ascertain just how he is.\u2019<\/p>\n

How long should that be?\u2019 asked Ben.\u00a0 \u2018He\u2019s been out now for a couple of hours.\u00a0 Surely that can\u2019t be a good sign.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul shook his head. \u2018No its not,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll be honest Ben.\u00a0 The longer he\u2019s unconscious the worse off he\u2019s likely to be.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just have to wait and see. I\u2019ll stay for a few hours.\u2019\u00a0 He patted his friend on the arm. \u2018Everything seems to be fine.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be alright.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded and tried to smile. \u2018I\u2019ll just feel better when he wakes up and we can be sure,\u2019 he said. He looked at his son anxiously before turning towards Adam.\u00a0 \u2018Son could you make sure that Paul gets something to eat please?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to sit with Joseph for a while.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sure Pa,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Come on Hoss, we\u2019ll go and fill Hop Sing in on what\u2019s happening.\u2019<\/p>\n

As they left the room, Ben sat down again on the edge of the bed. \u2018Wake up Joseph,\u2019 he said softly to the boy in the bed as he stroked the curls off his forehead. \u2018Come on son, it\u2019s time to wake up now.\u2019\u00a0 Little Joe didn\u2019t respond to his father\u2019s touch, but slept on undisturbed.<\/p>\n

——————-<\/p>\n

It was another two hours before Joe stirred.\u00a0 Immediately Ben was at his son\u2019s side and calling for Paul. \u2018He\u2019s awake!\u2019 he shouted. \u2018Paul!\u2019 He leant forward for the tenth time that hour and whispered in the boy\u2019s ear. \u2018Joseph.\u00a0 It\u2019s alright now son.\u00a0 Wake up.\u00a0 Your Pa\u2019s here.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes fluttered open as Paul, Adam and Hoss entered the room. He looked around momentarily before shutting them again. \u2018Joseph?\u2019 Ben said, louder this time.<\/p>\n

Paul appeared at the other side of the bed and immediately began to check his vital signs. \u2018Give him a few minutes Ben,\u2019 he said as he did so.\u00a0 Just allow him to take his time.\u2019\u00a0 Ben sat silently waiting and watched as his son\u2019s eyes fluttered open again and he tried to focus. He smiled at his son as his eyes flitted past him and then came to rest on his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Joe returned the smile briefly.\u00a0 His hand came up to touch his father\u2019s face. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

Ben clasped his boy\u2019s hand. \u2018Well hello there,\u2019 he said. \u2018I wondered when you\u2019d wake up.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa?\u2019 Joe repeated.<\/p>\n

Ben continued to smile at him. \u2018Yes, it\u2019s Pa son.\u00a0 Everything\u2019s going to be alright now.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe grimaced and closed his eyes again.\u00a0 He lay still and looked as though he was concentrating on something.<\/p>\n

Paul bent over him. \u2018Joseph it\u2019s Doctor Martin. I want you to open your eyes and look at me for a moment.\u2019\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t respond, but continued to frown as if in thought. \u2018Joseph?\u2019 the doctor repeated.\u00a0 \u2018Look at me.\u2019\u00a0 Still Joe didn\u2019t respond.\u00a0 Paul shook him gently on the shoulder and immediately the boy\u2019s eyes opened and he stared up at the doctor\u2019s face. Paul shone a light into his eyes and noted with pleasure that his pupils instantly dilated. He stood up. \u2018His vital signs are fine,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019d say he\u2019s a lucky boy.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben grinned at him and clasped hold of his son\u2019s hand even tighter. \u2018That\u2019s wonderful,\u2019 he said. \u2018You\u2019re going to be fine now Joseph.\u00a0 You gave us quite a start there for a while though.\u2019\u00a0 Joe continued to look at his father intently, but didn\u2019t say a word. After a few moments, Ben spoke to him again. \u2018Joseph? Did you understand what I said son?\u00a0 You\u2019re going to be fine.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe still said nothing, but frowned at his father. After a moment he reached up to touch his face again. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ve got a headache.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure you have,\u2019 said Ben gently. \u2018Close you eyes now and\u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve got a headache Pa, something bad,\u2019 said Joe.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ll give him something for the pain,\u2019 said Paul, taking a powder out of his bag. \u2018He\u2019ll need\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa?\u2019 said Joe in an anxious voice. \u2018Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes?\u2019 said his father.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s grip on his father\u2019s hand tightened. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he repeated.<\/p>\n

Ben looked up at Paul. \u2018He seems quite agitated,\u2019 he said. \u2018Perhaps if we\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

Pa?\u2019 said Joe frowning. \u2018Did you say something?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked down at his son. \u2018Joseph just relax,\u2019 he said as he stroked his son\u2019s forehead. \u2018It\u2019s alright now son.\u00a0 Doctor Martin\u2019s going to give you a headache powder and you\u2019ll be able to get some more sleep.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be alright when\u2026\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe clutched at his father with his other hand. \u2018Pa I can\u2019t hear what you\u2019re saying,\u2019 he said in a worried tone. \u2018What did you say?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at the doctor. \u2018Paul?\u2019 he said anxiously.<\/p>\n

Paul put down the powder and bent over the boy in the bed. \u2018Joseph look at me,\u2019 he said. Joe didn\u2019t respond, so he turned the boy\u2019s head towards him. \u2018Look at me,\u2019 he repeated.<\/p>\n

Joe looked anxiously into the doctor\u2019s eyes. \u2018I can\u2019t hear what you\u2019re saying,\u2019 he said. \u2018What did you say?\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul looked up at Ben, the anxiety in his eyes speaking volumes. \u2018Probably the noise of the blast,\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s taken quite a battering to the head after all.\u2019\u00a0 Joe pulled the doctor\u2019s face towards him and said in a hysterical tone. \u2018What are you saying?\u00a0 I can\u2019t hear you!\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul patted him on the head and smiled. He reached for the powder which he had dissolved in a glass of water and held it to the boy\u2019s lips. Without a word he forced Joe\u2019s head up and made him take a couple of swallows.\u00a0 When he could finally get his mouth free, Joe shouted. \u2018Pa! Let go of me.\u00a0 I want my Pa!\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul let go of him and stepped back to allow Ben to move closer to his son. \u2018I\u2019m here Joseph,\u2019 he said gently. It\u2019s alright now son.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe clutched at his father\u2019s arms. \u2018Don\u2019t leave me alone Pa!\u2019 he said anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u2018I won\u2019t son.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018What? I can\u2019t hear you Pa!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben stroked his son\u2019s forehead gently and took the glass from Paul. He put it to his son\u2019s lips firmly and forced him to swallow again several times, all the while smiling at him calmly. Finally the glass was empty and he put it down before holding his son in his arms and stroking his forehead again.\u00a0 Joe leant against his father\u2019s chest listening frantically for the sound of his heartbeat, but could hear nothing.\u00a0 Even as a feeling of panic began to overcome him he felt himself beginning to lose control of reality and he slipped down again into the darkness.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

\u2018So it will be temporary then?\u2019 said Adam, looking at the doctor intently to gauge his reaction.<\/p>\n

Paul avoided meeting his stare. \u2018I think it\u2019s highly likely,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

\u2018But you don\u2019t know for sure,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n

The doctor shook his head. \u2018I can\u2019t be certain, no,\u2019 he said. \u2018But it seems likely that the force of the blast has simply resulted in temporary deafness. Time will tell.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018And in the meantime?\u2019 asked Ben, trying to still his panic. \u2018In the meantime what do we do?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Just allow him time,\u2019 said Paul. \u2018Try to keep him calm and treat him gently. He\u2019ll gradually adjust.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s it?\u2019 said Adam. \u2018My brother has gone deaf and you simply tell us to be gentle with him?\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul sighed. \u2018There\u2019s not much else we can do at this stage,\u2019 he said. \u2018If it continues longer than a few days then I\u2019ll do some tests on him, but we may not have to face that situation at all.\u00a0 As I said before, it\u2019s likely to be temporary.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018And if it\u2019s not?\u2019 said Adam angrily. \u2018What do we do then?\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul said nothing, but stared into the fire in front of him. \u2018There are some very good doctors in San Francisco, \u2018 he said. \u2018I can recommend a specialist if we need to go down that track.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam slammed his fist on the table and left the room.\u00a0 Hoss looked at his father helplessly and followed him.\u00a0 As the front door slammed behind him, Ben turned to Paul.<\/p>\n

“Tell me the whole truth,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

Paul looked at his friend. \u2018I am telling you the whole truth Ben,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s just too early to tell.\u2019\u00a0 He put his hands into the air in a helpless expression. \u2018I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I wish there was more I could say to you, but there just isn\u2019t.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded and sat down on the settee. \u2018So we just wait,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u2018Yes.\u00a0 We just wait,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes and blinked in the strong sunlight that was streaming through the window of his bedroom. He stretched his legs and looked around trying to orientate himself and noticed his father sitting in a chair asleep by the side of his bed. He turned and looked at the bedside table next to him and wondered if he could manage to get a drink of water without waking his father.<\/p>\n

Carefully Joe tried to sit up in bed, but he ached all over and realised it was going to be a huge effort to reach the glass on the table.\u00a0 He looked at his arms and noticed the bruises on them and frowned as he tried to remember what had happened to him.\u00a0 Suddenly it all came flooding back as he remember being thrown backwards by the explosion.\u00a0 Tentatively he tried to stretch again and was pleased when he realised that he had no trouble moving his arms and legs.\u00a0 Apart from the aching feeling everything seemed to be working.<\/p>\n

Slowly Joe tried to sit up again, this time doing so inch by inch.\u00a0 He felt pleased with himself when he had managed to maintain a half-seated position and reached out for the glass next to him.\u00a0 He picked it up but then watched in horror as it slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor shattering into many pieces.<\/p>\n

The noise of the glass breaking startled Ben and he woke with a start. He looked at his son who was seated in the bed staring at the glass on the floor with a horrified expression on his face.\u00a0 Ben reached out to touch the boy on the arm and Joe looked up into his father\u2019s face with tears rolling down his eyes. Ben smiled at him and tried to appear calm.<\/p>\n

Joe stared back at the glass again. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said not taking his eyes off it. \u2018Pa?\u00a0 I broke the glass.\u2019\u00a0 He continued to stare at it as if in a daze. \u2018I\u2026. I broke it Pa, but I didn\u2019t hear it break.\u2019\u00a0 He looked up into this father\u2019s face. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said, the tears falling down his cheeks. \u2018Pa?\u00a0 I can\u2019t hear!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben reached out and stroked his son\u2019s head and looked into his eyes. He opened his mouth to reassure him and then realised that it was useless to say anything, so instead he drew the boy\u2019s head towards him and held it against his chest.\u00a0 Joe sobbed uncontrollably for a few minutes, not sure what to think.\u00a0 After a while he drew back from his father and said. \u2018Pa?\u00a0 What\u2019s happened to me?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben clenched his fists in frustration.\u00a0 He\u2019d never faced a situation like this before and he just didn\u2019t know where to begin.\u00a0 All he could do was reach for his son again, but this time Joe drew away from him. \u2018No!\u2019 he said, his voice beginning to sound anxious. \u2018Tell me what\u2019s happened!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at him helplessly. He stroked the boy\u2019s hair and smiled at him.\u00a0 Joe stared back at him, his face beginning to mirror his feelings as the panic showed in his eyes. \u2018What\u2019s happened?\u2019 he said again and began to cry aloud. \u2018Pa! Help me Pa!\u2019 the sobs began in earnest this time and his body began to shake with fear as he realised that he couldn\u2019t hear his father even if he did speak to him.\u00a0 A feeling of helplessness washed over him and he began to clutch at the man and cry. \u2018Pa!\u00a0 I can\u2019t hear Pa!\u00a0 Help me!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben reached for the boy again and held him close in spite of Joe\u2019s struggling.\u00a0 For several minutes they sat like that, Joe calling out over and over again \u2018Pa!\u00a0 Help me Pa!\u2019\u00a0 until Ben felt that he couldn\u2019t stand the sound of the words any more.<\/p>\n

At that moment Adam entered the room. \u2018Here,\u2019 he said thrusting a piece of paper and a pencil in front of his father. \u2018I thought you could do with these.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at his son gratefully. \u2018Good boy,\u2019 he said. Holding onto Joe with one arm he balanced the paper on the bed and began to write.\u00a0 After a moment he tapped Joe on the back.\u00a0 \u2018Joseph,\u2019 he said, even though he knew the words wouldn\u2019t reach his son. \u2018Joseph look here.\u2019\u00a0 He pulled the boy away from him and turned his head to face the paper on the bed.<\/p>\n

Joe looked down.\u00a0 His father had written:<\/p>\n

Joseph calm down.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his father\u2019s face and Ben pointed to the paper again while he smiled at his son. Joe clutched onto his father\u2019s arm and tried to stop crying, but only succeeded in hiccupping in between sobs.\u00a0 Ben spoke to Adam, all the while gazing at Joe in front of him. \u2018Adam would you clean up the broken glass please?\u2019<\/p>\n

As Adam bent to do his father\u2019s bidding Ben continued to stare at Joe and smile at him.\u00a0 Eventually the boy\u2019s sobs lessened and he relaxed a little in his father\u2019s grasp. When Ben felt he had calmed down sufficiently he began to write again, watched all the while by Joe.<\/p>\n

The doctor says this is probably only temporary Joseph.\u00a0 You had a knock to your head when you fell. Just be patient son.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe read the words and then looked up at his father again. \u2018Why can\u2019t I hear?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

The doctor isn\u2019t sure yet.\u00a0 You need to rest for a few days and he\u2019ll do some tests then<\/em>, Ben wrote.<\/p>\n

\u2018What kind of tests?\u2019 Joe tried not to sound too anxious, but his voice trembled as he spoke.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him calmly. Don\u2019t worry about that now.\u00a0 The important thing is that you get lots of rest first.\u00a0 I want you to lay down now.\u00a0 Alright?<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe nodded and lay down on the bed again.<\/p>\n

\u2018Adam would you ask Hop Sing to bring up something for Joseph to eat?\u2019 asked Ben. He noticed Joe looking at him intently trying to work out what he had said, so he wrote it down for him and then he added, How\u2019s the headache?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018A bit better,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018When it goes will I be able to hear again?\u2019<\/p>\n

We\u2019ll have to wait and see<\/em>, wrote Ben. Rest now<\/em>.<\/p>\n

As he sat and watched his son trying to rest, Ben felt an aching within his heart. He was trying desperately not to lie to the boy, but it was very difficult not to.\u00a0 He wanted to write that it would be alright.\u00a0 That everything would be fine in time. But he couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Ben closed his eyes for a moment and prayed.\u00a0 It might never be alright again, but how could he tell his son that?\u00a0 How could he tell him that he might never hear again and how would Joseph cope if that were true? Ben prayed that the boy would never have to face it.<\/p>\n

——————-<\/p>\n

Adam walked into the dining room and stood still as he watched his youngest brother sitting by the fireplace reading.\u00a0 At any other time it would have thrilled him to think that Joe was finding pleasure in a book, as reading had never been one of his strong points.\u00a0 He was a boy who would rather be out doing things than sitting still reading, and try as Adam had to interest him in various pieces of literature he had always resisted it.<\/p>\n

At the moment though, it worried him.\u00a0 Joe had done nothing but sit by himself for the past few days since Doctor Martin had allowed him out of bed and didn\u2019t seem to be interested in doing much at all or even making an effort to communicate with any of them. It was as if he had retreated into his own private world and the symptoms of depression in him were evident to all of them.\u00a0 Adam knew that his father was very anxious about the boy and was trying to interest him in things to help him cope with what was happening to him.<\/p>\n

Adam walked over and sat next to his brother on the settee. Joe looked up startled as his brother sat down.\u00a0 Adam smiled at him and was dismayed to see that his brother didn\u2019t return the look but merely commenced to read again.\u00a0 He glanced at the title and noticed it was one of his.\u00a0 He smiled and tapped the book as he gave his brother a questioning look.<\/p>\n

\u2018I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d mind if I borrowed it,\u2019 said Joe.\u00a0 Adam shook his head and continued to smile to show his agreement.\u00a0 After a moment Joe looked down again and continued to read.\u00a0 Adam sighed.\u00a0 It was like this all the time.\u00a0 There was very little that he could think of to say to his brother and he noticed that Hoss felt the same.<\/p>\n

Each of the Cartwrights and Hop Sing had taken to carrying a notebook and pencil in their pockets so that they could scribble down their remarks for Joe, but he usually became impatient when they started to do this and quickly showed his impatience with them doing so.\u00a0 So they usually resorted to gestures and facial expressions to put their point across to him.\u00a0 This in itself was extremely difficult as Adam acknowledged there was only so much information you could convey in this way.\u00a0 To their worry Joe was spending more and more time alone in isolation as he sought to brush away any contact with his family.<\/p>\n

It was as if he didn\u2019t know or didn\u2019t want to know quite what to do and the more he tried to communicate with them the harder he realised it was.\u00a0 So in the end he shunned all their efforts to relate with him and began to retreat into himself.\u00a0 This more than anything else worried his father, Adam knew.<\/p>\n

He sat for a few moments in silence next to his brother and then when it became obvious that Joe wasn\u2019t going to make an effort to talk to him he stood up and walked back towards the kitchen only to see his father standing watching them. Adam shrugged his shoulders. \u2018I tried,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

Ben nodded and patted him on the arm. \u2018I know you did son,\u2019 he said with a worried expression on his face. They both stood and watched the boy in silence for a few moments.\u00a0 Finally Ben added. \u2018I\u2019m taking him into town tomorrow to see Paul. He wants to examine him again.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you think that\u2019s a good idea Pa?\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Can\u2019t Paul come out here to see him?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No. I want to take him into town,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018It\u2019s time.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s not going to want to go.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said simply.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing entered the room carrying a platter. \u2018Supper ready,\u2019 he announced as he placed it on the table. Hoss appeared in the passageway. \u2018Thanks Hop Sing,\u2019 he said with a grin.\u00a0 The three Cartwrights sat down and then Ben stood again as he realised that Joe wasn\u2019t aware of what was happening.\u00a0 He sighed as he walked over to his son.\u00a0 It was so easy to forget that the boy was unaware of what was happening around him.\u00a0 Things that they all took for granted were beginning to become important details for them to constantly remember.<\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and his son looked up with a startled expression on his face. Ben motioned to the table and Joe closed the book and stood up.\u00a0 When they were all seated Ben began a prayer of thanks.\u00a0 He noticed that Joe sat with his head bowed, but once again needed his father to signal to him when they were finished.\u00a0 Every time Ben needed to do this or a similar action his heart constricted and he cried out inwardly about the unfairness of it all.<\/p>\n

There was little conversation around the table during the meal as was becoming usual lately.\u00a0 The others were reluctant to engage in conversation that Joe couldn\u2019t join in with as every time they did they could sense his frustration and anger at being left out.\u00a0 Ben had noticed that the boy was spending less and less time with them all and would retreat to be alone whenever he could, so their conversations usually began after Joe left the table.\u00a0 As was becoming common, Joe stood up the moment he had finished eating and moved away from the table.<\/p>\n

\u2018Where are you going Joseph?\u2019 asked Ben, before he could help himself.\u00a0 When Joe kept walking Ben sighed and stood up to follow him.\u00a0 As Joe bent to pick up Adam\u2019s book that was lying on the coffee table Ben bent also and touched his son on the arm.\u00a0 He motioned for him to sit down and sat beside him, taking out his notebook to write.\u00a0 Joe watched his father silently as Ben wrote and then handed to his son the following:<\/p>\n

Joe, you are coming into town with me tomorrow.\u00a0 I have some business at the bank and you need to see Doctor Martin.\u00a0 He wants to examine you again.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe read it, then shook his head and made to get up.\u00a0 Ben pulled him down again and wrote:<\/p>\n

I said you are coming with me Joseph and I meant it.\u00a0 No arguments.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head again and shook off his father\u2019s hand angrily. \u2018No!\u2019 he said. \u2018I ain\u2019t going into town.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded at him and pointed his finger at him sternly. Yes you are<\/em>, he wrote.<\/p>\n

Joe stood up, snatched the book from the table and stomped up the stairs angrily.<\/p>\n

\u2018Well that went well didn\u2019t it?\u2019 said Adam.<\/p>\n

Ben looked across at his two other sons and shrugged his shoulders. \u2018He has to begin somewhere,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s time he learned to face people again.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Maybe it would help if we all went in,\u2019 suggested Hoss. \u2018You know Pa.\u00a0 Kinda to make it a bit easier for him with all of us there.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018Good idea,\u2019 he said. \u2018That way between us he won\u2019t need to feel alone at any stage.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s if he co-operates and actually goes,\u2019 said Adam.<\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s going,\u2019 replied his father in a voice they both knew well. Adam and Hoss looked at each other, both hoping that Joe didn\u2019t cause too much trouble in the morning, or else there would be one almighty argument about it.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

Fortunately, Joe seemed to have accepted the fact that he had no option but to obey his father the next morning. By the time they had mounted up and were on their way he was compliant even if obviously still angry about it.\u00a0 The ride into town was a silent one as each Cartwright lost himself in his own thoughts and by the time they had reached the outskirts of town the silence that had descended upon them had become an oppressive one. Ben was very anxious to get to the doctor\u2019s and have Joe\u2019s examination over with.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure you boys can find something to keep you busy while Joseph and I are at the doctor\u2019s,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019ll meet you back here in about half an hour and you can be with Joe while I get to the bank,\u2019 he instructed. He motioned for Joe to follow him and was relieved when the boy didn\u2019t make a fuss about it.<\/p>\n

Once inside the doctor\u2019s office they seated themselves in the outer office and waited.\u00a0 Ben took out his notebook and began to write. I want you to behave yourself in there today Joseph.\u00a0 You are to do as the doctor tells you to.\u00a0 Understood?<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe nodded briefly and turned to stare out of the window.\u00a0 Ben shook his head slightly. \u00a0He honestly didn\u2019t know how to reach his son as he felt him slipping further and further away from him.<\/p>\n

At that moment Paul Martin entered the office. \u2018Ben,\u2019 he said holding out his hand as he glanced at the boy staring out of the window. \u2018How\u2019s he doing?\u2019 Ben just shook his head and lifted his hands in a futile gesture. \u2018Well bring him in and I\u2019ll take a look at him,\u2019 said Paul.<\/p>\n

Ben motioned for Joe to stand up and the two men followed him as he walked reluctantly into the office.\u00a0 Ben handed Paul his notebook. \u2018We\u2019ve been using these,\u2019 he explained, noting the angry look that Joe gave him as he handed it over. He knew that the use of it annoyed the boy because it another reminder that he couldn\u2019t hear, but he didn\u2019t know how else to communicate with his son.<\/p>\n

Paul motioned for Joe to sit on the examining table and began to arrange his instruments. Joe looked at the wall opposite him the whole time as if he didn\u2019t want to know or didn\u2019t care what the man was doing.\u00a0 Ben knew, however, that it was all an act and that Joe desperately cared.\u00a0 He also knew that the boy would do anything he could to pretend that he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Paul smiled at Joe and began his examination.\u00a0 Joe sat silently throughout and obeyed the doctor\u2019s gestures to the letter, but the expression on his face said that he was far from happy.\u00a0 Finally it was over and he got down from the table and strode from the room without a backward glance.\u00a0 Ben gave Paul a worried look and followed him.\u00a0 As Joe tried to leave the outer office his father pulled him back by the arm and motioned to a chair.<\/p>\n

\u2018No!\u2019 said Joe angrily. \u2018I\u2019m going outside.\u2019\u00a0 Ben motioned to the chair again and pulled his son back by the arm. \u2018No!\u2019 said Joe, trying to shake himself loose from his father\u2019s grasp. \u2018I\u2019m going outside.\u2019 Ben pulled his son across the room and sat him on the chair with a determined expression.<\/p>\n

\u2018Is he always like this?\u2019 asked Paul behind him.<\/p>\n

\u2018Pretty much,\u2019 said Ben, turning to face him. \u2018He\u2019s just so angry with everyone and everything. I don\u2019t know how to reach him Paul.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019d better talk in the next room,\u2019 said Paul glancing at Joe. \u2018I don\u2019t think he likes being left out of our conversation.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked down at his son. \u2018I know he doesn\u2019t,\u2019 he said. Stay there young man!<\/em> He wrote on his notebook. You are not to move a muscle.\u00a0 Understood?<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe nodded briefly, the anger on his face still apparent. Ben gave him another determined look and followed Paul into the examining room again. \u2018I just don\u2019t know what to do with him Paul.\u00a0 His brothers and I are trying, but we just can\u2019t seem to reach him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018He seems a very angry young man that\u2019s for sure,\u2019 the doctor acknowledged. \u2018But it\u2019s to be expected Ben.\u00a0 After all it can\u2019t be easy living like he is.\u00a0 He must feel so cut off from the world around him at the moment.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know that,\u2019 acknowledged Ben. \u2018And I\u2019ve tried to help him.\u00a0 But the problem is I just don\u2019t know how.\u00a0 He fights me every step of the way.\u00a0 You know how stubborn he is Paul, and the problem is that he just doesn\u2019t seem to want to help himself.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben, he doesn\u2019t know how to help himself,\u2019 the doctor explained. \u2018He\u2019s a very frightened youngster at the moment.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t really understand what\u2019s happening to him or how long it\u2019s going to last.\u00a0 And he can\u2019t really communicate his feelings to you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben rubbed his hand over his face. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. \u2018Do you have any suggestions?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Just to be patient with him.\u00a0 Give him as much encouragement as you can and try to think of things he can do. He needs to feel that some things in his life can stay the same.\u00a0 He\u2019ll find security in the little things.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben thought for a moment. \u2018Well he\u2019s taken to reading quite a bit,\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s actually borrowing Adam\u2019s books which is a first.\u2019<\/p>\n

‘Good,\u2019 said Paul. \u2018Maybe Adam can find a way to use the books to communicate with him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018How?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 But I\u2019m thinking that even though he is taking pains to show you that he wants to be alone its obvious that he desperately wants to be close to all of you.\u00a0 Even if Adam merely sat with him while they both read so that he could feel his companionship without the expectation that he communicates.\u00a0 It\u2019d be a start.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I see,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018And maybe Hoss could take him fishing.\u00a0 He\u2019d just have to sit there as they always do.\u00a0 There\u2019d be no need for him to be pressured into listening at all in that situation.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s the idea,\u2019 said Paul grinning at him. \u2018There must be more situations you\u2019ll be able to think of just like that.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ll talk to the boys and see what we can come up with,\u2019 agreed Ben. \u2018I thought it would be a good thing to bring him into town today to force him to start facing people again as well.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u2018I agree,\u2019 he said. \u2018He can\u2019t hide away forever. Just don\u2019t force him to talk to anyone Ben. Simply being around people for now will be enough.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Was there any change when you examined him?\u2019 Ben asked hopefully.<\/p>\n

Paul shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said shortly. \u2018But I\u2019d like to write to a colleague of mine in San Francisco though.\u00a0 I went to medical school with him back East. He might have some ideas how to help Joe. He works in the hospital there and one of the specialists there may have experienced a similar case.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019d be grateful Paul,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018Anything at all that would help the boy.\u2019<\/p>\n

As Ben opened the door he heard voices coming from the outer room and both men walked in to hear Mrs Daley who had seated herself next to Joe and was speaking in an indignant tone. \u2018Well I never! The rudeness of some young people nowadays!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben glanced over at Joe and noted the helpless look on his face that he was trying to disguise with a look of casualness, as he tried to make out what the woman was saying to him. Ben strode over to Mrs Daley and stood in front of her. \u2018My son is having a problem with his hearing at the moment and can\u2019t hear you ma\u2019am,\u2019 he said. \u2018He doesn\u2019t mean to be rude.\u2019<\/p>\n

She looked at Joe with pity in her eyes. \u2018Oh I\u2019m so sorry!\u2019 she said. \u2018I didn\u2019t realise!\u00a0 I just thought he wasn\u2019t bothering to answer me when I spoke to him.\u2019\u00a0 She touched Joe on the arm. \u2018The poor young thing!\u2019 she said, obviously distressed.<\/p>\n

Joe shook off her hand angrily and stood to face his father. \u2018I told you I wanted to go outside,\u2019 he said. \u2018Now look at what\u2019s happened!\u2019\u00a0 He turned to face the woman. \u2018And you don\u2019t need to feel sorry for me anyways! Mind your own business!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph!\u2019 said Ben as his son ran through the door to the street outside. \u2018Joseph!\u2019\u00a0 he yelled after his son, forgetting that the boy couldn\u2019t hear him. He tipped his hat to Mrs Daley. \u2018I\u2019m sorry ma\u2019am. Please excuse me.\u2019\u00a0 He ran out of the door and nearly collided with Hoss on the porch outside.<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa!\u2019 he said looking at Ben\u2019s face. \u2018What\u2019s wrong?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben clutched him on the shoulder. \u2018Did you see Joe come out here a moment ago?\u2019 he said anxiously.<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u2018No Pa,\u2019 he said scanning the area around him as he spoke. \u2018He\u2026look, there he is!\u2019 He pointed to the street where Joe was standing.<\/p>\n

Ben took two steps across the sidewalk. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 he called gesturing to his son. \u2018Joseph!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018He cain\u2019t see you Pa,\u2019 said Hoss. Ben took another step forward and as he did so, saw a buggy coming down the street at a fast pace straight in the direction of Joe.<\/p>\n

\u2018Hey get out of the way kid!\u2019 yelled the driver, but Joe had his back to the man and didn\u2019t see what was happening behind him. He merely stood there glaring at his father as Ben started gesturing to him as well.<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph move!\u2019 Ben yelled desperately, but Joe continued to look merely at him as the buggy came closer.\u00a0 Just as it was almost on top of him Ben saw a movement out of the corner of his eye as Adam appeared as if from nowhere and flung himself at his brother, knocking him to the ground and out of the way.\u00a0 The buggy missed them both by inches as it continued down the street, the driver finally pulling it to a halt a few feet from where Ben stood.<\/p>\n

Ban and Hoss ran towards the spot where Joe and Adam had landed, followed closely by the buggy driver.\u00a0 \u2018Joe! Adam! Are you alright boys?\u2019 Ben asked anxiously bending down over the tangle of arms and legs that belonged to his two sons.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m fine Pa,\u2019 said Adam, disengaging himself from his brother\u2019s body and sitting up. Joe lay dazed in the street for a moment and then sat up as well.\u00a0 Ben reached out to touch him. \u2018Joe, are you alright son?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

Joe shook off his father\u2019s arm. \u2018Leave me alone,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

\u2018Damn fool kid!\u2019 said the driver behind them.<\/p>\n

Ben looked up. \u2018I\u2019m sorry this happened,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 Adam and Joe stood up behind him and Hoss began to brush the dirt off both his brothers\u2019 backs.<\/p>\n

\u2018Damn fool kid!\u2019 the driver repeated, pointing his finger with rage on his face. \u2018You nearly got yourself killed, not to mention me and this guy here.\u00a0 What on earth were you thinking?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe flinched.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t understand what the man was saying, but the meaning was clear enough. Ben stepped forward and stood in between them. \u2018I\u2019m sorry, \u2018he repeated. \u2018My son didn\u2019t hear you coming towards him. He\u2019s,\u2019 he found the words hard to say to a stranger. \u2018He\u2019s deaf.\u2019<\/p>\n

The man stopped abruptly and put down his finger. \u2018Oh,\u2019 he said with an embarrassed expression on his face. \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2026\u2026\u2026 I didn\u2019t know.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe pushed his father aside and glared at him. \u2018Maybe next time you won\u2019t make me come into town!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018I told you I didn\u2019t want to come!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben clutched him by the arm. \u2018Joseph calm down,\u2019 he said. Joe stepped back and pushed his father away from him.\u00a0 Ben reached into his pocket and pulled out the notebook, but Joe grabbed it from his father\u2019s hand and threw it on the ground.<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t write in that thing!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018Why don\u2019t you all just leave me alone?\u2019\u00a0 He turned and fled up the street.<\/p>\n

Ben, Adam and Hoss looked after him in silence.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

Hoss handed his brother the tin that held the worms and watched silently as he baited his hook again and dropped his line into the water.\u00a0 Joe leant back against the tree behind him and closed his eyes.\u00a0 Hoss noted the contented look on his face and smiled to think that it was the first time he\u2019d seen it in quite a few days.<\/p>\n

Since the incident in town they had all been trying desperately to placate Joe and their father had tried a number of times to get him to talk about it.\u00a0 But all he had received in reply from the boy was that he didn\u2019t want to talk about it.\u00a0 Finally, in desperation Ben had asked Hoss to take Joe fishing and for now at least it seemed to be doing the trick.<\/p>\n

Hoss stared at the water in front of him and thought about the last few days.\u00a0 He wanted so much to talk to his little brother, but Joe wasn\u2019t being responsive at all.\u00a0 Every time Hoss or any of the others took out their notebook to write something down Joe became angry and so they had just about given up doing so.\u00a0 Without the notebook, Hoss didn\u2019t know how to talk to his brother and Joe sure as anything wasn\u2019t about to talk to him!<\/p>\n

Instinctively, Hoss did the only thing he knew.\u00a0 He reached out and put his arm around his younger brother\u2019s shoulder as they sat there side by side. He watched Joe open his eyes in surprise for a moment and then the tension left his body and he leant in towards the body of his brother.\u00a0 Without a word being spoken the two of them sat together looking at the water in companionable silence.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

\u2018I tell you Pa it was the happiest I\u2019ve seen him all week,\u2019 said Hoss.\u00a0 \u2018We didn\u2019t need ta talk at all, but I know he felt what I was feeling.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at Hoss intently. \u2018And what was that son?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018That we didn\u2019t need ta talk,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018Sometimes ya don\u2019t need ta talk ta know what the other guy\u2019s thinking ya know?\u00a0 At least it was like that with Joe and me.\u2019 He looked up at his father. \u2018Does that make sense to ya Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded and smiled as he patted Hoss on the shoulder. \u2018Yes son.\u00a0 It makes an awful lot of sense to me.\u00a0 Perhaps what we need to do is just let Joseph find his own way through this. \u00a0We shouldn\u2019t be pressuring him to communicate with us if he doesn\u2019t want to.\u00a0 We just need to allow him to reach out to us when he\u2019s ready to.\u00a0 He was doing that with you this afternoon by the sound of it son.\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u2018I think so too Pa.\u00a0 We never talk much when we go fishing anyways. It was just like it always is.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s what Paul has been trying to tell me,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018He said that Joseph will find comfort in the little things. Take him fishing whenever you want to Hoss.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018And I\u2019ll try and reach him through book like Paul suggested too,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018There\u2019s no time like the present.\u2019\u00a0 He glanced across at his brother sitting reading in front of the fireplace.\u00a0 He walked over and took a book from the shelf and sat next to him without a glance and began to read himself.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss watched as Joe glanced up at his brother and stared at him for a moment.\u00a0 When Adam didn\u2019t react, but merely sat back and continued to read, Joe bent his head again and commenced as well.\u00a0 The two brothers sat in silence together.<\/p>\n

———————–<\/p>\n

The next few weeks followed the same pattern.\u00a0 During the day Joe either went fishing with one of his brothers or did his chores and at night he read or played checkers.\u00a0 Ben still worried for the boy and knew that he couldn\u2019t go on like this forever, but he was happy at least that Joe seemed to be happier in himself. There was no outward sign of the anger that had been building up inside of him before, but then again there was no sign that he was particularly happy either.<\/p>\n

Joe ate little and communicated even less.\u00a0 He showed no great desire to do anything around the ranch apart from the chores that Ben insisted that he take up again. So it was with great delight that Ben heard him say one night. \u2018Pa?\u2019 Ben looked at him inquiringly. \u2018Pa I want to go for a ride tomorrow.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben noticed that his son hadn\u2019t exactly framed the statement as a question, but he was sure that Joe was gauging his father\u2019s reaction to it.\u00a0 He nodded and smiled at him and pointed to himself as if to indicate that he would accompany him. Joe shook his head. \u2018No Pa.\u00a0 I want to go by myself.\u00a0 There\u2019s no real reason why I can\u2019t is there?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at Adam who shrugged his shoulders. \u2018I think it\u2019s important that he does Pa.\u00a0 He needs to prove to himself that he can do some things remember?\u2019\u00a0 Ben nodded while he continued to look at Joe. He patted his son on the shoulder and nodded again, as he was rewarded with Joe\u2019s first real smile in weeks. \u2018Good,\u2019 he said simply and bent his head again to read.<\/p>\n

\u2018You know,\u2019 mused Adam. \u2018I think we\u2019re going to have to buy some more books soon.\u00a0 I thought my collection was fairly large, but at the rate Joe is going through these books he\u2019s going to run out of things to read soon. Did you ever think I\u2019d have to say something like that?\u2019<\/p>\n

The three of them laughed. \u2018Sure didn\u2019t,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018Reading has never been Joe\u2019s strong point up until now has it?\u2019\u00a0 He clapped his hands. \u2018Check, Adam.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018What?\u2019 said Adam peering at the chessboard. \u2018I\u2019d better start paying more attention.\u00a0 Can\u2019t let you beat me for the first time!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben smiled as his two sons argued over the game.\u00a0 He only wished that Joseph could join in as well.\u00a0 Maybe it would be good for the boy to take that ride tomorrow, after all Adam was right and the boy did need to prove to himself that he could do it.\u00a0 He thought about following him at a discreet distance, but dismissed the idea.\u00a0 He was just being silly after all.\u00a0 There was no harm that could come to Joseph on The Ponderosa by simply taking a ride.\u00a0 At least he hoped not.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

\u2018Paul you should have seen his face!\u2019 said Ben again. \u2018He was so proud of himself for having done it. Two hours he was away and of course I was a nervous wreck by the time he got back, but he was fine after all.\u00a0 He\u2019s proved to himself and us that some things will remain the same.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul patted his friend on the back. \u2018That\u2019s wonderful Ben.\u00a0 Going off for a ride like that is a big step for Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said. He was actually animated last night for the first time in ages.\u00a0 He talked as if \u2026\u2026.. well, like he did before the accident. We didn\u2019t even need to try and answer him at all.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t have got a word in anyway.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul laughed. \u2018You look a lot more animated than I\u2019ve seen you lately as well Ben,\u2019 he said. \u2018Frankly I\u2019ve been worried about you as well as Joseph.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well it has been a strain,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018Hopefully the worst is behind us now.\u00a0 Joseph seems to be adjusting, even if it is just in small steps.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018He still has a long way to go Ben,\u2019 warned Paul. \u2018Have you told him about Adam\u2019s idea for him to learn sign language?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018I thought it might upset him and I thought I should wait until we\u2019ve received word from San Francisco.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul reached over and took a piece of paper from his desk. \u2018That\u2019s what I wanted to talk to you about,\u2019 he said. \u2018I received this yesterday.\u2019 Ben sat forward anxiously as the doctor continued. \u2018My friend has consulted with his colleagues at the hospital and they\u2019d like to examine Joe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if they can help him, but I think it\u2019s at least worth the trip.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben stroked his chin. \u2018It\u2019s likely to upset Joseph,\u2019 he said. \u2018But I agree with you.\u00a0 I talk to him about it tonight.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well whatever you decide it looks as though Joe is happier now at least,\u2019 said Paul with a smile. \u2018Just continue to do what you\u2019re doing Ben and you should continue to see an improvement in him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I hope so,\u2019 said Ben wistfully. \u2018I\u2019ve felt like I\u2019ve lost my son during these past few weeks Paul. \u00a0It\u2019s made me realise just how important he is to me.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You always knew that Ben.\u00a0 This has just heightened the fact for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018I know.\u00a0 I guess it takes a tragedy like this to make us all realise just what is important in life.\u00a0 I know what\u2019s important in mine at least. Three things that are.\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul smiled.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have to ask what the three things were.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

Ben handed his son a piece of paper.\u00a0 He had taken quite a bit of trouble over the writing of it that afternoon, trying to get the words just right for Joe to understand.\u00a0 He watched his son by the firelight as he read it.<\/p>\n

Joe, Doctor Martin has found some doctors in San Francisco who may be able to help you.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know for sure, but they\u2019d like to examine you to see if there\u2019s anything they can do.\u00a0 I know you won\u2019t want to do this son, but I\u2019d like you to try it for me.\u00a0 I will go with you and be there for you all the time.\u00a0 I know that you will be scared and that is only natural. It will be your decision son.\u00a0 Whatever you decide will be alright by me.<\/p>\n

Joe glanced up at his father and then stared into the fireplace.\u00a0 Ben watched him obviously trying to think through the situation.\u00a0 After a few moments he stood up and began to pace up and down while Ben continued to watch his son.\u00a0 Suddenly he stopped and faced his father.\u00a0 \u2018I want to hear again Pa.\u00a0 If those doctors can maybe help me, then I want to go.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked up at him and smiled.\u00a0 He wrote on the bottom of the paper: Then go we will Joseph.\u00a0 We\u2019ll leave on Friday.<\/p>\n

————————<\/p>\n

Ben noticed how hard it was for Joe to keep still as he sat next to him in the waiting room.\u00a0 He could tell by the constant fiddling of his fingers and the jerky leg movements that the boy seemed not even to be aware of.\u00a0 They spoke volumes to Ben of his nervousness and apprehension of what was about to happen.\u00a0 Joe had never been a good patient whenever he was sick and being here in a strange doctor\u2019s surgery would not be somewhere that his son would choose to be at the best of times.\u00a0 In his present state, Ben could only imagine that it would be taking a great deal of self-control on Joseph\u2019s part to remain here at all.\u00a0 He would undoubtedly be fighting the urge to run at any moment.<\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on his son\u2019s thigh to still it and smiled at him.\u00a0 Joe returned the smile tentatively and then looked away.\u00a0 At that moment the door opened and a man Ben could only imagine would be Doctor Lewis entered the room. \u2018Mr Cartwright,\u2019 said the man with a broad grin as he held out his hand. \u2018Nice to meet you sir.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to Joe. \u2018This must be Joseph,\u2019 he said looking directly at the boy and held out his hand to him as well. Joe glanced at his father and tentatively held out his hand. Doctor Lewis motioned them both into his office.<\/p>\n

\u2018Now,\u2019 he said in s business like fashion as he sat down. \u2018Before I examine your son Mr Cartwright, I need to know exactly what happened.\u2019\u00a0 He wrote exactly what he had said on a piece of paper and positioned it so that Joe could see it.\u00a0 Joe read it and Ben noticed the look in his eye that said to his father that he appreciated being included in the conversation. He nodded at his father as Ben began to speak.<\/p>\n

After hearing the story, Doctor Lewis sat forward in his chair once again and began to speak slowly as he wrote word for word what he said for Joe.\u00a0 Ben could see that the man was experienced in dealing with people who couldn\u2019t hear, from the care that he took to include Joe in what was being said.\u00a0 Joe leant forward to see and follow the conversation.<\/p>\n

\u2018From what you\u2019ve said Mr Cartwright it sounds as though your son\u2019s deafness could well be temporary.\u00a0 Blows to the head can cause all sorts of problems that can\u2019t sometimes be explained.\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked up at him and smiled. \u2018However,\u2019 he continued with his hand up. \u2018I don\u2019t want to get your hopes up.\u00a0 Sometimes there may be no explanation for what has happened and the hearing simply doesn\u2019t return.\u00a0 It\u2019s difficult to tell.\u2019\u00a0 He stood up. \u2018Let\u2019s take a look at you, eh Joseph?\u2019 He motioned to the examining table.<\/p>\n

Joe glanced at his father who smiled at him encouragingly. Ben nodded and pushed his son gently towards the table.\u00a0 Joe sat on it and watched the doctor intently throughout the examination as he tested for various reflexes and poked in Joe\u2019s ears with several instruments. After a while, the doctor motioned for Joe to lie down and he gave his skull a thorough going-over with his hands. \u2018I\u2019m just looking for any unusual bumps or depressions,\u2019 he explained to Ben. \u2018Sometimes a knock to the skull can put pressure on \u2026\u2026.. no, there doesn\u2019t seem to be anything unusual here.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe sat up again and the doctor washed his hands.\u00a0 Ben reached out and helped his son down from the table. They both looked at the doctor inquiringly as he motioned for them to sit down again and began to speak.<\/p>\n

\u2018Well there is nothing evident,\u2019 he began. \u2018From what you have told me it seems that the situation could be temporary as Paul Martin thought, but there are no guarantees of that.\u00a0 The fact that I can\u2019t find any abnormalities to the skull doesn\u2019t mean that there hasn\u2019t been some internal swelling and that is most likely the cause of the condition. There is most likely pressure on the auditory nerve.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben sat forward in his chair. \u2018And if that is the case Doctor, what can be done about it?\u2019<\/p>\n

‘Nothing I\u2019m afraid.\u00a0 Given time the swelling may diminish and Joseph may hear again, but only time will tell.\u2019\u00a0 He held up his hands.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I wish there was more I could say to you, but there are just so many things about this area that are beyond our understanding.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe began to move in his seat.\u00a0 He had followed the doctor\u2019s speech as the man had written it for him and the look on his face showed Ben that he had understood it clearly.\u00a0 He turned to his father. \u2018He can\u2019t help me can he?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben reluctantly shook his head.<\/p>\n

Doctor Lewis bent forward. \u2018No that\u2019s not quite true.\u00a0 I can be of some help I believe.\u2019<\/p>\n

Both Cartwrights looked at him and Ben said eagerly \u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n

The man sat back and began to write again. \u2018There is a school that has just been opened in Arkansas by a man named Augustus Ward to deal with this very thing.\u00a0 He runs a program to help the hearing impaired adjust to the world and I believe it would be very good for Joseph to attend if you can afford it.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at his son and noticed the shocked look on his face.\u00a0 He placed a hand on his thigh to quiet him. \u2018It\u2019s not a matter of affording it Doctor,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll do what ever is best for Joseph.\u00a0 The fact is we\u2019d have to talk about it first.\u00a0 Joseph would have to be comfortable with going there.\u2019<\/p>\n

Doctor looked at Joe who had become decidedly agitated. \u2018Yes of course,\u2019 he said hastily.\u00a0 \u2018I only meant that it was available if you wanted to look into it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you the contact details if you like.\u2019<\/p>\n

At this point Joe stood up. \u2018We don\u2019t need them!\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018I ain\u2019t going to any school!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph!\u2019 said Ben as he clutched at his son\u2019s sleeve. \u2018Sit down!\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe brushed his father\u2019s hand away. \u2018Leave me alone!\u2019 he said. \u2018I ain\u2019t going to any school!\u2019\u00a0 He turned and left the room abruptly.<\/p>\n

Ben stood and shook the doctor\u2019s hand. \u2018Thank you,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019d appreciate those details, but I\u2019ll come back and get them later.\u00a0 As you can see Joseph doesn\u2019t take kindly to this kind of thing.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have to talk to him about it first.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course,\u2019 replied the doctor. \u2018And its only natural Mr Cartwright that he should feel like this.\u00a0 He\u2019s still coming to terms with the fact that this could be permanent. I wish you luck with helping him do that.\u00a0 If there\u2019s anything else I can do, please don\u2019t hesitate to ask.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you,\u2019 said Ben and hurried out of the room after his son.<\/p>\n

———————<\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t want Joe to get too far away from him in his present state.\u00a0 As he left the building he scanned the area quickly and was pleased to see his son walking down the street so he followed him immediately. \u2018Joe!\u2019 he called as he tried to catch him up, then cursed himself as he realised the boy couldn\u2019t hear him of course.\u00a0 He hurried faster, trying to catch him before he got away completely from him.<\/p>\n

Luckily Joe wasn\u2019t walking too quickly and Ben soon overtook him.\u00a0 He walked beside him for a few steps and then reached out to put his arm around him.\u00a0 Joe jerked at his father\u2019s touch, but this time didn\u2019t push him away.\u00a0 Ben pulled him to a stop.\u00a0 \u2018Son,\u2019 he said as he drew him close and put his arms around him.\u00a0 He wanted so much to tell his son that he understood how he was feeling, but in the middle of the busy street when the boy couldn\u2019t hear his words it was impossible.\u00a0 Instead he simply stood there holding him, giving Joe the opportunity to gain comfort from his father\u2019s touch.<\/p>\n

After a few moments Ben began to walk down the street, leading an unresisting Joe beside.\u00a0 He followed the direct route to the Harbour and chose a spot near the water away from the crowds. As they sat on a bench side by side Ben squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 Joe sat silently looking at the water beneath him and soon Ben noticed the tears begin to fall.\u00a0 His heart bled for his son.\u00a0 He knew that the boy must be feeling totally depressed right about now and all he could hope was that by just being there for him Joe would perhaps sense the comfort that his father was trying to give him.<\/p>\n

Joe put his head on his father\u2019s shoulder and sobbed quietly for a while and Ben patted him on the shoulder as he stared across the harbour.\u00a0 For the first time in weeks he felt like he was giving some comfort to his son.\u00a0 After a while Joe\u2019s sniffs stopped and he sat still.\u00a0 Ben reached into his pocket and, with one arm still around his son, he began to write while Joe looked on and read the words.<\/p>\n

Joe I know you\u2019re upset about this son. But remember there were no guarantees with this doctor.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his father. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018Are you going to make me go to that school Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

Do you want to go?\u00a0 Ben wrote.<\/p>\n

\u2018No!\u2019 Joe said immediately. \u2018I want to go home. Please don\u2019t send me away Pa.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his father with pleading eyes.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to go anywhere you don\u2019t want to go Joseph, wrote Ben. He immediately felt the tension leaving his son\u2019s body and was pleased to see that Joe tried to smile at him even though he wasn\u2019t quite successful.\u00a0 Instead the boy leant his head on the railing and watched the water.\u00a0 After a while he said mournfully, \u2018Pa?\u00a0 What do the waves sound like?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at him startled, as the question had taken him by surprise. Joe returned the look and continued. \u2018I\u2019ve never heard them before.\u00a0 What do they sound like?\u2019<\/p>\n

Like water sloshing in a bucket, only louder, wrote Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe read his father\u2019s words and nodded. \u2018I see,\u2019 he said quietly and was silent again. \u2018It\u2019s just that\u2026\u2026 well it\u2019s hard when I haven\u2019t heard something before you know?\u2019 He searched his fathers face with a questioning look and Ben nodded. \u2018It\u2019s hard enough when I do know what something sounds like and I have to remember, but when I haven\u2019t heard it before\u2026\u2026\u2026..\u2019 he brushed the tears from his cheeks. \u2018Well it\u2019s just hard to know.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben sat still and looked at him, willing him to continue to talk.\u00a0 He felt that if Joe could at last verbalise what he was feeling then he would begin to feel better about things.\u00a0 He squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder encouragingly hoping to keep him talking.<\/p>\n

\u2018Sometimes I can\u2019t remember what things sound like Pa,\u2019 Joe said, his voice beginning to reflect a tinge of panic. \u2018Sometimes\u2026\u2026. Sometimes I think I\u2019m forgetting what things sound like at all.\u2019 He looked at his father again. \u2018I don\u2019t want to forget Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n

You won\u2019t forget son.\u00a0 There are many sounds you know and you\u2019ll remember them, Ben wrote.<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u2018No I don\u2019t think so Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Sometimes you forget.\u00a0 Its\u2026.its like when my mama died.\u2019 He stopped and glanced at his father. \u2018I\u2026.I know I was little when she died and there aren\u2019t many things I can remember about her, but I used to remember her voice singing to me and then I started to forget it as I grew older.\u00a0 I tried real hard to remember it Pa, but sometimes I just couldn\u2019t.\u2019 Ben squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder again. Joe by now was sobbing again as he tried to get the words out. \u2018I really want to remember how she sounded Pa, but I just can\u2019t.\u00a0 And now I\u2019m scared\u2026\u2026\u2019 he swallowed. \u2018I\u2019m scared that I\u2019ll forget what you and Adam and Hoss sound like too.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his father beseechingly. \u2018I just don\u2019t want to forget your voice Pa and I don\u2019t know what to do about it!\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe bent his head onto his father\u2019s chest and wept openly, his sobs piercing Ben\u2019s heart with each breath that he took. Ben had no words that could reach his son, so he just sat and stroked his head and clutched him to his chest tightly as he listened to the boy\u2019s sobbing.\u00a0 For a long time they sat there, Joe just happy to feel his father\u2019s touch and Ben staring over the water again.<\/p>\n

After what seemed like a long time, Joe put his head up. \u2018I feel so alone Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018I don\u2019t want to feel alone like this.\u2019<\/p>\n

Son you will never be alone as long as I or your brothers are alive, Ben wrote. We will help you to get through this. Whatever it takes Joe, we will help you to remember and be there for you.\u00a0 I promise you\u00a0 son.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled up at his father as Ben held his boy even closer.\u00a0 Together they looked over the harbour together.<\/p>\n

———————<\/p>\n

For the next week Ben tried to ensure that their trip to San Francisco at least provided Joe with a measure of distraction from his problems.\u00a0 He took the boy to see all the sights that he knew so well, hoping that they would bring out of his depressed state and was rewarded by several genuine smiles from his son. Joe seemed to enjoy the week in a quiet way and Ben hoped that given time he would soon revert back to the cheeky Joseph that he knew and loved so well.<\/p>\n

Ben resolved to bring up Adam\u2019s idea of sign language when he felt the time was right, as he knew that it would really help Joe if he could communicate with his father and brothers in that way.\u00a0 But he also knew that doing so would remind Joe of the fact that it was looking more and more possible that his deafness would be permanent.\u00a0 So he kept putting off the conversation.<\/p>\n

One afternoon, the day before they were due to return to The Ponderosa, Ben decided the time was right to broach the subject.\u00a0 They were seated once again at the Harbour, as Joe enjoyed watching the ships come in and out and it was one place where he didn\u2019t feel overwhelmed by the crowds.\u00a0 Ben had tried to bring him here each afternoon and they usually spent a good hour each day just sitting and watching the activity around them.<\/p>\n

As Joe leant forward and watched the waves beneath him, Ben took out his notebook and began to write a message to his son explaining about Adam\u2019s idea.\u00a0 So intent was he in composing it just the right way that at first he didn\u2019t hear his son speak to him.<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa? Did you hear what I said?\u2019 Joe said, tapping his father on the arm. Ben looked over at him and shook his head. \u2018Water sloshing in a bucket,\u2019 Joe repeated.\u00a0 He had a look of wonderment on his face and it took Ben a few moments to register what it might mean. He held his son\u2019s face between his hands and stared at him. \u2018Water sloshing in a bucket,\u2019 Joe repeated. \u2018I \u2026\u2026I think I heard it Pa.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his father with tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Ben continued to look at his son. He pointed to his mouth as he said. \u2018Can you hear me speak?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders. \u2018I can\u2019t hear you Pa,\u2019 he said as he turned his head. \u2018But I heard the water sloshing like in a bucket.\u00a0 Only you\u2019re right\u2026. it is louder ain\u2019t it?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben clutched his son to his chest, tears of relief welling up in his eyes. \u2018Yes son it is,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

\u2018Well it\u2019s definitely better again today,\u2019 said Doctor Lewis with a smile at Ben. \u2018I can\u2019t believe the improvement in only a week.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at the doctor. \u2018What?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

Doctor Lewis turned back towards him and repeated the remark. Joe looked at him intently for a moment and then said. \u2018You can\u2019t believe what?\u2019<\/p>\n

Doctor Lewis smiled at him. \u2018The improvement in only a week,\u2019 he said. Joe nodded and grinned at him, satisfied that he had heard it now.<\/p>\n

\u2018So do you still think it\u2019s alright for us to leave on Wednesday?\u2019 asked Ben.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes, that shouldn\u2019t be a problem,\u2019 replied the doctor.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ll give you a letter for Paul Martin.\u00a0 He should be able to monitor Joseph\u2019s progress from here.\u2019\u00a0 He patted Joe on the shoulder. \u2018If he continues at this rate he should have his full hearing back in no time.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben grinned at his son who returned the look. \u2018So you\u2019re still confident that he\u2019ll be back to normal then?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t see why not,\u2019 replied Doctor Lewis. \u2018Once this process had begun there\u2019s really nothing to stop it.\u00a0 Joseph should regain his full hearing if nothing untoward happens.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben held out his hand. \u2018How can I ever thank you doctor!\u2019 he said with relief.<\/p>\n

\u2018I didn\u2019t do anything but confirm what was happening,\u2019 said Doctor Lewis. \u2018There\u2019s no need to thank me at all.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to Joe. \u2018Now you look after yourself Joseph.\u00a0\u00a0 You be careful of taking knocks to that head of yours again won\u2019t you?\u2019 he said with a twinkle in his eye.<\/p>\n

Joe looked at him, wondering why the doctor was talking about blocks on his head.\u00a0 He supposed it was meant to be a joke, but it didn\u2019t seem very funny to him.\u00a0 Nevertheless he thought he\u2019d be polite and he grinned at the feeble joke.<\/p>\n

\u2018Well young man,\u2019 said Ben as they left the building. \u2018It seems like we\u2019re going home on Wednesday after all. That makes tomorrow our last day here, so what would you like to do?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe looked at him. \u2018What would I what?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018What would you like to do?\u2019 repeated Ben.<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh\u2026..um\u2026\u2026.. well I\u2019d like to get Hoss and Adam some presents.\u00a0 Can we do that Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course,\u2019 said Ben pleased at the boy\u2019s thoughtfulness. \u2018What do you have in mind?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I bet Hoss would like some of that candy they was selling at the market place.\u00a0 Could we go there tomorrow?\u2019\u00a0 Ben nodded. \u2018And I want to visit one of them bookshops,\u2019 Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m glad to see that you\u2019re interested in reading now Joseph,\u2019 his father said. \u2018It\u2019s good to see you\u2019ve obviously enjoyed Adam\u2019s books if you want to buy some more for yourself.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe gave him a withering look. \u2018Heck no!\u2019 he said. \u2018I don\u2019t want to visit the bookshops for me!\u00a0 I want to buy Adam some decent books that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Some of them stories he\u2019s got are OK, but he\u2019s got a whole bunch of that Shakespeare stuff that\u2019s as boring as anything.\u00a0 I reckon he could do with some good reading material for a change don\u2019t ya reckon Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben hid a smile, wondering what Adam would think of his brother\u2019s criticism of Shakespeare and tried to imagine the look on his oldest son\u2019s face when Joe presented him with what Ben suspected would be his choice of \u2018good\u2019 reading material.\u00a0 Dime novels and detective stories were not exactly to Adam\u2019s taste, but would undoubtedly be Joe\u2019s choice for him.\u00a0 \u2018I suppose everyone needs a variety of reading material,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018That\u2019s nice of you to think of your brother, son.\u00a0 We\u2019ll go shopping tomorrow. Now I think its time we returned to the hotel for this afternoon.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe continued to walk ahead of his father. \u2018Joseph!\u00a0 Did you hear what I said?\u2019 called Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe turned around with a cheeky grin on his face. \u2018Did you say something Pa?\u00a0 Seems like I didn\u2019t catch it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just go on down to the harbour for a bit.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben stared at his son. \u2018Oh no you don\u2019t!\u2019 he said. \u2018You\u2019re not getting away with that one young man!\u00a0 You heard me perfectly.\u2019\u00a0 The two Cartwrights laughed and Ben reached out to put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Come on you,\u2019 he said affectionately. \u2018There\u2019ll be no more excuses for not doing as your father tells you now.\u00a0 I expect you to follow my instructions to the letter.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe laughed. \u2018Well I may hear what you tell me to do Pa, but you really can\u2019t expect me to suddenly take any notice of them instructions can you?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben hit him playfully on the side of the head. \u2018No I suppose not,\u2019 he replied with a twinkle in his eye. \u2018After fifteen years of taking little notice of me Joseph, I can\u2019t expect you to change overnight.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018So I have your permission to ignore you then?\u2019 asked Joe in a cheeky voice.<\/p>\n

Ben put his finger up in front of his son\u2019s nose. \u2018Just you try it young man,\u2019 he said in a mocking tone. \u2018Just you try it!\u2019<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Joe is hurt in an accident in the lumber camp<\/p>\n

Rated: K (13,520 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":11265,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,41,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2078","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3041,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/normal_MBK-JC2.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4516,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4516","url_meta":{"origin":2078,"position":0},"title":"Coming Home (by Storm)","author":"storm","date":"October 28, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0This was written in response to the October Chaps and Spurs challenge. 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Rating: \u00a0 \u00a0T \u00a0(4,433 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/serious-Hoss.jpg?fit=269%2C298&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":27841,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=27841","url_meta":{"origin":2078,"position":5},"title":"Man’s Best Friend #2 – If Tomorrow Never Comes (by Starbuck)","author":"Starbuck","date":"October 21, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis: Ben and Adam seek shelter from the relentless rain in an abandoned mine. When the floor collapses it is up to Adam's German Shepherd - Zeus to find help. 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