{"id":2084,"date":"2009-09-06T17:15:31","date_gmt":"2009-09-06T21:15:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2084"},"modified":"2026-03-17T10:34:25","modified_gmt":"2026-03-17T14:34:25","slug":"eyes-of-the-soul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2084","title":{"rendered":"Eyes of the Soul (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Joe feels responsible for the death of a new ranch hand<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> T (13,725 words)<\/p>\n

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Eyes of the Soul<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe you get down here now or I\u2019m gonna pound ya fer sure!\u2019 Hoss Cartwright brushed off yet another handful of hay from his shoulders and looked up into the loft of the barn with frustration. As he waited he heard the unmistakable sound of his younger brother\u2019s high-pitched giggle and the scuffle of his boots on the floor above. \u2018Joe I\u2019m warnin ya!\u00a0 Do that agin and you\u2019re dead meat!\u2019\u00a0 He turned to lift the bale of hay again, but was stopped once more by another shower of hay from above. With a great flourish he dropped the bale and strode towards the ladder that led up to the loft. \u2018That\u2019s it ya pest!\u00a0 Git down here now or I\u2019m comin’ up there after ya!\u00a0 I mean it Joe!\u2019<\/p>\n

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A curly head appeared over the edge of the trap door and his brother\u2019s grinning face mocked him from above. \u2018You talkin to me Hoss?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Am I talkin to you?\u00a0 Why you little \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss put his foot on the first rung of the ladder, and the curly head disappeared again.\u00a0 As Hoss reached the fourth step the ladder was suddenly pushed from above, and he fell heavily with a curse.\u00a0 \u2018You\u2019ve asked fer it now Joe!\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna live to see the day out!\u2019\u00a0 He charged at the ladder and put it back in place, but at the moment his foot lifted onto the first rung his father\u2019s booming voice behind him stopped him in mid step.<\/p>\n

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\u2018What the blue blazes is going on here? Hoss, what\u2019s the meaning of all this ruckus?\u2019\u00a0 Ben Cartwright stood with his hands on his hips and glared at his middle son. \u2018Have you got nothing better to do than fool around?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Hoss swung towards him and answered indignantly. \u2018Me foolin around?\u00a0 What about that youngest son of yours?\u00a0 Blame him!\u2019\u00a0 He pointed upwards and glared in the direction of the loft. \u2018If that young fool would leave me alone for once, then I\u2019d have all of this work finished by now!\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben strode over to the ladder and placed his hand on the rung. \u2018Joseph, get down here now!\u2019 The curly head appeared again and Little Joe looked apprehensively this time through the trap door.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Hi Pa.\u2019 He smiled tentatively at his father.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Don\u2019t you hi Pa me! Get down here immediately and explain yourself young man.\u2019 Ben shook his head. \u2018Might have known he\u2019d be behind this,\u2019 he muttered to himself as the curly head disappeared and two feet dangled over the edge and onto the ladder.<\/p>\n

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Ben waited until his youngest son reached ground level, then took a step towards him.\u00a0 \u2018Well?\u00a0 What were you up to and why are you annoying your brother?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Little Joe opened his eyes widely and looked at his father with his head on one side. \u2018Me Pa?\u00a0 I ain\u2019t doin nothing.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Why you little\u2026.\u2019 Hoss made a grab for his younger brother, and Little Joe nimbly stepped behind his father. \u2018Let me at him Pa, I\u2019ll murder him!\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben put a restraining hand on Hoss\u2019 arm. \u2018Hoss leave it to me.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go and get started on that fence for now?\u2019 Hoss hesitated. \u2018Go on son, I\u2019ll take care of your brother.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Make sure you do then!\u00a0 If he comes near me again, I\u2019m gonna pound him!\u2019\u00a0 He strode out of the barn.<\/p>\n

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Ben reached behind him and pulled his youngest son around by the arm until he was standing in front of him.\u00a0 \u2018Well?\u2019 he demanded. \u2018What do you have to say for yourself?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Little Joe shuffled his feet and looked at the floor of the barn. \u2018Aw Pa, I was only havin a little bit of fun. You know Hoss, he\u2019ll get over it.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018I know you and the problems you can cause, that\u2019s for sure.\u2019 Ben wagged his finger at his son. \u2018If I were you I\u2019d stay away from Hoss at the moment or he\u2019ll likely carry out that threat of his.\u2019 Little Joe bit his lip as he looked at his father with wide eyes and tried to look as innocent as possible under the circumstances. \u2018And another thing young man, aren\u2019t you supposed to be hitching the buckboard for Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018All done,\u2019 Little Joe replied. \u2018I\u2019m just hangin around waiting for that oldest brother of mine to let me know he\u2019s ready is all.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018If you bothered to check outside, then you\u2019d know I\u2019ve been ready and waiting for you for nigh on ten minutes.\u2019 Adam\u2019s voice cut across them both as he stood leaning on the doorframe with arms folded.<\/p>\n

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Little Joe walked past his father towards the door of the barn. \u2018Well what am I supposed to be, a mind reader?\u2019 he muttered as he left the barn.<\/p>\n

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Adam looked at Ben and raised his eyebrows. \u2018Trouble again?\u2019 he asked with a smirk. \u2018Seems like those two can\u2019t tolerate each other at the moment.\u2019\u00a0 Ben shrugged his shoulders. \u2018Mind you,\u2019 Adam continued, \u2018I know how Hoss feels.\u00a0 That boy is sure heading for a fall with those pranks of his. Do I really have to take him into town with me Pa?\u00a0 I\u2019d get everything done a lot faster without him hanging around.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben frowned. \u2018Yes you do.\u00a0 You can keep him busy with those supplies while you hire a few extra men. You know we\u2019ll need some extra help before the roundup.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018All right, but don\u2019t blame me if I end up hitting him before we make it home.\u00a0 He\u2019s asking for trouble lately.\u2019 Adam replied with a grin.<\/p>\n

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Ben put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulders as they walked outside together. Ben put his head back and sniffed at the breeze that was freshening up around them as he said, \u2018Patience is a virtue Adam.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah, well that kid is testing everyone\u2019s patience to the limit lately.\u2019 Adam replied.\u00a0 They neared the buckboard where Little Joe had already seated himself and was holding the reins.\u00a0 \u2018Move along,\u2019 ordered his older brother, \u2018I\u2019d like to get into town in one piece thanks very much.\u2019 He grabbed the reins as he sat down, oblivious to his brother\u2019s protests.<\/p>\n

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Ben patted his youngest son on the thigh as Joe slumped down in his seat and pulled his hat over his eyes. \u2018Mind your brother in town please Joseph.\u00a0 It would be nice if you could make it home for once without getting into some kind of trouble.\u2019\u00a0 Little Joe merely grunted at him as the buggy lurched forward, and Ben smiled to himself as he turned to find Hoss to see if he could placate him.<\/p>\n

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——————–<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\u2018I\u2019ll be over at the saloon when you\u2019re finished loading all this. And don\u2019t take too long, it looks like the weather is going to turn ugly before too long.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Why can\u2019t I come over with you now?\u2019 Little Joe jutted his chin out and glared at his brother. \u2018How come I get to be the one who has to do all the hard work?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018If you think that finding hands is easy, then think again,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018Believe me, you\u2019ve got the best end of the deal.\u2019 He turned on his heel and strode away from his brother feeling his glare boring into his back as he went.<\/p>\n

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Little Joe sighed and began to load the supplies. He figured that the quicker he got it done, the more chance he would have of getting a drink in the saloon while Adam negotiated for the new hands. He picked up a sack of grain and flung it over his shoulder, and as he did so he heard the startled cry of someone behind him.\u00a0 He turned dropped the sack and turned quickly to see a young man standing rubbing his head.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Watch it will you?\u2019 the man glared at him and rubbed harder. \u2018You just about took my head off my shoulders with that swing.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Joe bit his lip and said quickly, \u2018I\u2019m sure sorry mister. Didn\u2019t mean for it to connect with your head like that.\u2019\u00a0 He took a good look at the man beside him.\u00a0 He was probably no more than a couple of years older than Joe himself, with blond hair and very blue eyes.\u00a0 He wore black pants and a dirty red shirt, and his boots had certainly seen better days.\u00a0 He had a lean look about him, but one that Joe instantly took a liking to.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah well, be careful next time,\u2019 the stranger said with a grin and turned to step out of Joe\u2019s way. \u2018Hey, you wouldn\u2019t know where I could find work by any chance would you?\u2019 he turned again and questioned.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well you could try down the road at the mines office,\u2019 said Joe picking up the sack again. \u2018They\u2019re always lookin for help down there.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Um, not my line of work really,\u2019 said the stranger. \u2018I don\u2019t really fancy earning a living under all that earth.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Just what exactly is your line of work then?\u2019 asked Joe curiously.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Don\u2019t have one that\u2019s suitable for out here, to tell the truth,\u2019 confessed the stranger with another grin. \u2018I\u2019ve never been this far west before.\u00a0 Guess bookkeeping doesn\u2019t rate highly enough to get a man a job out here.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Not an awful lot of call for it, no,\u2019 replied Joe returning the grin. \u2018Ever done any ranching work?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018No not really. I can ride though, and I\u2019m a fast learner. Know of anyone who\u2019s hiring?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Actually, I am,\u2019 replied Joe with a casual air as if he did this sort of thing every day. \u2018Interested?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Sure thing,\u2019 replied the stranger and held out his hand. \u2018Pete\u2019s the name. Pete Cooper.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Hi Pete, I\u2019m Joe Cartwright.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Of the Ponderosa Cartwrights?\u2019 asked Pete impressed.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018I\u2019ve heard of your family.\u00a0 Your Pa owns the Ponderosa ranch doesn\u2019t he?\u00a0 Supposed to be the biggest in the Territory.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah, it\u2019s pretty big,\u2019 said Joe casually again. \u2018That\u2019s why we need so many hands.\u00a0 Tell you what, give me a few minutes to finish up here, and I\u2019ll introduce you to my brother over at the saloon before we get out of town.\u00a0 Can you start straight away?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Sure thing. You\u2019re kind of young to be hiring though aren\u2019t you?\u2019 asked Pete.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Nah, been doin it for a long time.\u00a0 My Pa trusts me to do things like that all the time,\u2019 Joe replied with a nonchalant wave of his hand.<\/p>\n

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Let me help you with that,\u2019 Pete replied and bent to pick up another sack.<\/p>\n

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Ten minutes later both young men entered the saloon, Joe scanning the room quickly for a glimpse of his brother.\u00a0 He spied Adam at a table in the corner talking to a couple of men, and sauntered over to him. As he approached the table he heard his brother say, \u2018Fine, then I\u2019ll see you at the ranch tomorrow morning.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Hi Adam,\u2019 Little Joe called. \u2018Got another man for us.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam looked up at him puzzled. \u2018What do you mean you got another man? Since when do you hire hands?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Joe frowned at his older brother, and bent close to him. \u2018Since I found someone who\u2019d be good to hire,\u2019 he whispered in the hopes that Pete wouldn\u2019t hear. He motioned to Pete who was standing behind him. \u2018Name\u2019s Pete Cooper. Pete this is my older brother Adam.\u00a0 He sometimes hires as well.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam studied Joe for a moment, and then glanced towards Pete as he held out his hand. \u2018Hi Pete.\u00a0 What kind of experience have you had with ranching?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018None to speak of actually.\u00a0 I\u2019m from back east, and just travelling through.\u00a0 Sure could use the money though, and I\u2019m a quick learner.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Sure is,\u2019 interrupted Little Joe with a grin.<\/p>\n

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Adam stared again at his younger brother and lifted his eyebrow at him. \u2018And just how would you know that?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

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\u2018He told me so of course,\u2019 Little Joe replied with an impatient shrug of his shoulders.<\/p>\n

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Adam turned once more to Pete. \u2018I\u2019m sorry Mr Cooper, but we really need someone with more experience.\u00a0 The work involves ranching work, and it will be quite \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018But I already told him he could have the job!\u2019 interrupted Little Joe again, this time indignantly.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well you shouldn\u2019t have.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got no authority to have done that, and I\u2019m the one who \u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pete stepped between the brothers and interrupted them. \u2018Seems like there\u2019s nothing for me after all.\u00a0 Thanks anyway.\u2019\u00a0 He tipped his hat at the two brothers and turned to go.<\/p>\n

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Little Joe called after him. \u2018Pete wait!\u2019 and turned to look at Adam with pleading eyes. \u2018He really needs the money Adam, couldn\u2019t we just \u2026. Please?\u2019\u00a0 He gave him his best pleading look.<\/p>\n

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Adam sighed. \u2018Oh all right.\u00a0 Pete, as long as you\u2019re prepared to learn fast I guess we\u2019ll be able to find something for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pete held out his hand and shook first Adam and then Little Joe\u2019s hand enthusiastically. \u2018Thanks!\u00a0 You won\u2019t regret it. I\u2019ll make sure I earn my pay.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Oh you\u2019ll do that all right!\u2019 said Adam dryly. \u2018Joe why don\u2019t you show Pete back to the buckboard and I\u2019ll meet you there?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Thought we\u2019d have a drink first,\u2019 said Joe hopefully.<\/p>\n

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Adam hesitated. \u2018All right, but just one.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be at the bank for a bit, and I\u2019ll meet you back at the buckboard in about fifteen minutes. I want to get home before that storm hits if we can.\u2019\u00a0 He turned and left the saloon, and Little Joe clapped Pete on the back.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Come on Pete, let\u2019s have a cold one then.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pete hesitated. \u2018Thanks but I\u2019d better wait outside.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Joe sensed his new friend\u2019s dilemma. \u2018I\u2019m buyin of course, in honour of your new job.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well in that case, thanks!\u2019 replied Pete enthusiastically.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

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As the two young men sat at the table nursing their beers a moment later, Joe tried to find out a bit more about his new friend. \u2018So Pete how come you\u2019re so far from home?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Just thought it was time to experience something a bit different to what I\u2019m used to that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Plus the fact that my parents died recently and I thought it would be a good idea to get away from things for a while, you know?\u2019 he looked at Joe from over the top of his glass, his blue eyes reflecting his sorrow for a moment.<\/p>\n

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Joe nodded. \u2018Yeah, sometimes I wish I could see different things to what\u2019s around here.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Haven\u2019t you ever been back East?\u2019 asked Pete.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Nah. Bin to San Francisco though, and one day I\u2019m goin to New Orleans.\u2019 Joe replied.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Why New Orleans?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018My mother came from there. I\u2019d like to see it sometime.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Haven\u2019t been there myself.\u00a0 I come from Boston.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah?\u2019 Joe sat up in his seat. \u2018No kiddin?\u00a0 My brother Adam was born in Boston, and he lived there for a while when he went to college.\u00a0 Bet he\u2019d love to talk about it with you.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Sure is a small world,\u2019 said Pete. \u2018Who\u2019d have thought it?\u2019<\/p>\n

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————————–<\/strong><\/p>\n

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By the time they sighted the ranch, Little Joe was enthralled by the tales Pete and Adam were exchanging about their memories of Boston. He sighed. \u2018Sure wish I\u2019d been to all them exciting places like you both have,\u2019 he said wistfully.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Well you had your chance,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018Pa offered to let you go back East to school same as I did.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah right, me at college?\u00a0 I don\u2019t think so!\u2019\u00a0 They all laughed.<\/p>\n

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\u2018School was not exactly Joe\u2019s favourite place to be,\u2019 explained Adam to Pete.<\/p>\n

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\u2018No not exactly,\u2019 echoed Little Joe. \u2018I can think of better ways to spend my time. No, when I go to visit all them places it won\u2019t be to study, it\u2019ll be to have fun.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Some day little brother, you may discover that the two can actually go hand in hand,\u2019 replied Adam dryly.<\/p>\n

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Little Joe merely looked at his brother, and then rolled his eyes at Pete. \u2018Do you believe that anyone could think that? See what I have to put up with in this family Pete?\u2019<\/p>\n

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The sky was dark and threatening as the buckboard rolled into the front yard of the ranch, and Ben Cartwright heard the sound of laughter echoing through the air. He smiled to himself.\u00a0 \u2018Thank the Lord it sounds like Joseph at least didn\u2019t get into any trouble this time,\u2019 he thought as he turned to see his two sons with a stranger in the buckboard between them.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Hi Pa!\u2019 Little Joe shouted as he sprang down, followed by Pete and Adam. \u2018This is Pete Cooper, one of our new hands.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Ben extended his hand. \u2018Hello Pete, nice to meet you.\u2019 Pete shook the outstretched hand and smiled at hid new boss. \u2018Had much ranching experience?\u2019 asked Ben.<\/p>\n

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\u2018No not really, I\u2019m just \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Pete\u2019s from Boston Pa,\u2019 Little Joe interrupted. \u2018Ya should have heard him and Adam on the way home. They know all the interesting places from there.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Really?\u2019 asked Ben eyeing the young man off. \u2018So what are you doing all the way out here?\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Just travelling through, Mr Cartwright,\u2019 replied Pete.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018And your ranching experience?\u2019 Ben was not to be sidetracked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018I\u2019ll show Pete where to put his things,\u2019 Little Joe interrupted again, and pulled Pete towards the bunkhouse. \u2018Over here Pete, come on and I\u2019ll show ya around.\u2019 The two young men disappeared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Ben turned to Adam who had started to unload the supplies. \u2018I take it the young man hasn\u2019t any experience at all from the way Joseph was reacting.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

\u2018No not really,\u2019 Adam replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Then why did you hire him?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well I didn\u2019t have much of a choice really after Little Joe had already promised him a job. Anyway Pa, he really needs the money.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018And just how do you know that?\u2019 asked his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

\u2018He told Joe,\u2019 said Adam feeling slightly foolish at using his brother\u2019s illogical argument.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Really?\u2019\u00a0 Ben raised an eyebrow at his oldest son. \u2018And what particular job would you see someone with no ranching experience doing?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I thought Joe could teach him how to round up some of the strays tomorrow. He said he\u2019s a fast learner.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018He\u2019d better be,\u2019 his father replied, and turned towards the house with a half smile on his face. How many times had these boys of his come home with a stray?\u00a0 It seemed that a common trait amongst all the Cartwright men was the ability to smell out someone who was down and out and try to give them a chance in life.\u00a0 Not a bad way to be, Ben acknowledged, but one that usually caused a few moments of trouble along the way.\u00a0 He hoped that this wouldn\u2019t be one of those times.<\/p>\n

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As the four Cartwrights sat down to supper that evening the storm that had been threatening to break all day finally did so with a huge clap of thunder that made them all jump. Little Joe immediately ran to the window and looked out. \u2018Wow! See that?\u00a0 It sure is a humdinger of a storm.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Joseph sit down please, storm or not supper is on the table and waiting,\u2019 his father replied.\u00a0 Joe sat down again as instructed, and helped himself to some potatoes. He glanced across the table at Hoss and caught the look in his brother\u2019s eye which he knew meant that the big man hadn\u2019t forgotten the incident from that morning. He wisely decided to ignore him and keep the attention focussed on other things.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018So what can Pete do tomorrow Pa?\u2019 he asked with his mouth full.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

\u2018Please close your mouth while you are eating Joseph,\u2019 his father replied. \u2018Well, just what would you suggest a man with no ranching experience would be able to do?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe concentrated on his plate. \u2018He\u2019s a fast learner,\u2019 he mumbled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Is he?\u2019 Ben asked, \u2018and just how would you know that?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam interrupted. \u2018Joe could you take him out tomorrow and show him the finer art of rounding up strays?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe grinned at his brother gratefully. \u2018Great idea, Adam.\u00a0 I could teach him that easy.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018That\u2019s if this storm breaks up by then,\u2019 ventured Hoss. \u2018It sure sounds as if the whole Territory\u2019s about to wash away fer sure.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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The thunder and lightning lasted right throughout the evening, and by the time the Cartwrights were ready for bed the storm was still going strong.\u00a0 They all fell asleep with the sound of heavy rain drumming on the roof above them. When dawn broke, the sight that greeted them was one of a newly washed world.\u00a0 Grey clouds still hung overhead and a light drizzle was still falling, but the air was crisp and clean and the wind had stilled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Little Joe trudged across the front yard after breakfast, he moved gingerly while trying to avoid the mud that lay everywhere.\u00a0 As he approached the barn door he peeked around the doorframe before entering.\u00a0 Joe knew that it was inevitable that his brother Hoss would try to pay him back for yesterday, and he wanted to avoid him at any cost.\u00a0 During breakfast he had been the recipient of many dark looks from his older brother, and he knew that the faster he and Pete left this morning the safer he would be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Pete met him at the barn door as they had arranged.\u00a0 \u2018Come on,\u2019 he urged the man, \u2018let\u2019s get our horses saddled and out of here quick!\u2019\u00a0 He dived inside the barn and began to saddle Cochise, after pointing out a horse for Pete. \u2018That one OK Pete?\u2019 he asked, and the man nodded and began to follow suit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Just as they were about to lead their mounts outside, Joe heard a movement behind him and turned to see Hoss grinning widely in his direction.\u00a0 \u2018Mornin Pete,\u2019 said Hoss looking directly at his younger brother all the while with a gleam in his eye. \u2018Why don\u2019t ya take both the horses outside for my little brother here? He\u2019ll join ya in a moment.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Little Joe attempted to pass his brother with the other man. \u2018Thanks Hoss, but Pete and I need to get moving.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a lot to do today.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss held onto his arm none too gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Now Joseph,\u2019 he said with a gap-toothed smile. \u2018Ain\u2019t it just fine that you\u2019re so eager to start work for a change.\u00a0 I\u2019m mighty impressed little brother, that I am.\u2019\u00a0 He narrowed his eyes and brought his face forward until his nose was nearly touching Little Joe\u2019s. \u2018Pity you\u2019re gonna be a bit later gettin started then ya thought.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe bit his lip and squirmed in his brother\u2019s grasp nervously.\u00a0 \u2018Aw come on Hoss, you know I was just funning yesterday, don\u2019t ya?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Sure I do little brother, just like I\u2019m gonna have a bit of fun myself this morning.\u2019 He held onto his brother\u2019s other arm and lifted him off the ground as he walked outside with him. Joe managed to give his brother a good kick in the shins, and Hoss turned him upside down under his arm. \u2018That\u2019s it Joe, you\u2019re gonna be sorry ya ever messed with me!\u2019\u00a0 And without more ado he deposited him in the largest mud puddle he could find.<\/p>\n

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Little Joe sat and listened to the laughter of those around him as he silently cursed his brother. As he stood and reflected on the vast mud stain spreading from the back of his pants he managed a half grin and a mock salute as he turned towards the house walking with as much dignity as he could muster. \u2018I\u2019ll be a few minutes yet Pete,\u2019 he said over his shoulder.\u00a0 \u2018I think I\u2019ll wear my other pants today instead of these.\u2019 Hoss\u2019 guffaws followed him.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Do you and your brothers always carry on like that?\u2019 Pete asked as they rode along easily side by side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Yeah mostly we do, answered Joe. \u2018Only it seems like it\u2019s usually two against one.\u00a0 Me bein the one and them bein the two.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018Somehow I think you might be the cause of that,\u2019 Pete answered with a grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Joe acknowledged his remark with a rueful grin. \u2018I can hold my own if that\u2019s what ya mean. Do you have any brothers or sisters Pete?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018No, I\u2019ve no family left to speak of now,\u2019 the other man answered. \u2018I envy you yours.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Little Joe thought for a moment. \u2018Yeah well they can be kind of a nuisance at times, but I guess they\u2019ll do.\u2019\u00a0 His words belied the look in his eye. \u2018Come on Pete, let\u2019s see just how quick a learner you are!\u2019\u00a0 The two young men urged their horses forward in a gallop towards the high hills where Adam had instructed Joe to begin the search for the strays.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Later that same day Joe had to admit that Pete had indeed been telling the truth. He did learn mighty fast for someone who had never done this kind of work before.\u00a0 He seemed to pick up on Joe\u2019s thoughts almost and was often in the right place before the words had even been uttered.\u00a0 As late afternoon wore on, they had managed to chase quite a few head down from the hills towards the main herd.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Hey Pete, good going!\u2019 yelled Little Joe above the noise of a couple of steers that ran beside them.\u00a0 Let\u2019s make these the last few, then head back home.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pete grinned over at him. \u2018Suits me fine,\u2019 he said. \u2018I think I\u2019ve had enough for one day. Much and all as I \u2026..\u2019 He turned suddenly at the sound of the bellow of a young steer. \u2018Looks like we spoke too soon.\u00a0 There\u2019s one more addition we need to make to this little group.\u2019\u00a0 And without a backwards glance he trotted across the hillside towards the young steer.<\/p>\n

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Joe stopped and watched him as he tried to turn the steer in his direction. He chuckled. \u2018You\u2019ll never get him like that Pete,\u2019 he yelled.\u00a0 \u2018Better get the rope around him.\u2019\u00a0 Pete grinned at him over his shoulder, and dismounted.\u00a0 As he approached the steer on foot the animal suddenly turned and trotted towards the edge of the hillside and Pete followed him. \u2018Watch out Pete,\u2019 called Joe, \u2018you\u2019d better keep away from that edge with all the mud around.\u2019<\/p>\n

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At that moment, the ground below Pete\u2019s feet gave way, he began to slide in the mud and in an instant he was lost from view. Joe instantly leapt down from his horse, grabbed a rope and ran to where the young man had last been.\u00a0 As he neared the spot he frowned to see that a considerable chunk of land had given way and left the hillside exposed.\u00a0 What had moments before been an incline was now a steep and jagged edge that lead straight downward. Joe fell to his knees and leant forward to try and see over the edge, but even that small movement caused the ground beneath him to subside even more.\u00a0 He scrambled down onto his stomach and inched his way forward, his rope around his shoulders and neck.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Pete!\u2019 he called over the edge, \u2018Pete, can you hear me?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\u2018Joe!\u2019 came the man\u2019s voice from down below, \u2018help me!\u2019<\/p>\n

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Joe squirmed forward again and tried to see over the edge. \u2018Where are you Pete?\u00a0 I can\u2019t see you.\u2019 He threw the end of the rope over the edge to give his friend an idea of his location.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Over to your right a bit,\u2019 came the answer from below. \u2018Hurry Joe, the ground here isn\u2019t going to hold much longer!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Joe scrunched over to his right and threw the rope further over the edge.\u00a0 \u2018Can you reach it?\u2019 he called.<\/p>\n

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\u2018No!\u2019 came the answer, \u2018you have to throw it further.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Joe tried again, but the ground below him was crumbling away with his movements and he backed away a bit. He lifted his head and searched the area. \u2018I\u2019m going to try from another angle Pete, hang on!\u2019 he called down.\u00a0 Backing away from the unstable spot he got to his feet and ran to the right until he found an area that had remained sound, and began to search until he found a place that was manageable.\u00a0 Joe had never been fond of heights, but he forced himself to look down and survey the damage.<\/p>\n

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A whole section of the hill had collapsed and tons of earth had shifted down towards the valley below. He could make out where Pete was clinging to a tree root, and realised that the only way to reach him was to climb down further.\u00a0 Tentatively he put his feet over the edge and began the descent, feeling with his feet rather than seeing in the approaching dusk.\u00a0 Pete watched him silently, still clinging to the root.<\/p>\n

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Joe reached a small rocky outcrop and tied the rope onto a branch that was sticking out from the side of the hill. \u2018I\u2019m gonna throw the rope your way now Pete, grab onto it,\u2019 he instructed. He unravelled the coil and aimed it towards the other man and threw it with all his might.\u00a0 It fell short.\u00a0 Joe hauled it in again and shouted. \u2018Hang on Pete, I\u2019ll give it another go.\u2019\u00a0 Again it fell short.<\/p>\n

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Joe sighed with frustration.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019m gonna have to come down further,\u2019 he yelled.<\/p>\n

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\u2018No!\u2019 yelled Pete. \u2018It\u2019s not safe further down!\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018I have to,\u2019 Joe yelled back. \u2018The land around you might slip at any time.\u2019\u00a0 He inched his way further down the cliff, concentrating on where to place his hands with each movement.\u00a0 The realisation of just how far up he was had suddenly hit him, and he felt his breathing begin to become uneven with fright.\u00a0 Just a glimpse downwards made him feel dizzy and he knew that he could not afford to lose control if he was to be any use to Pete and get the two of them back to the top without any further mishap. He placed his face as close as possible against the earth near his hands and drew a few large and slow breaths.\u00a0 \u2018Come on,<\/em>\u2019 he willed himself, \u2018keep going Joe, this is no time to panic about where you are<\/em>.\u2019\u00a0 He smelled the fresh earth against his face and drew comfort from the feel of the rock against his hands.<\/p>\n

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Ever so slowly Joe moved downwards, until he was within a few feet of Pete.\u00a0 He glanced across at the man and tried to smile. \u2018Hi, fancy meeting you down here,\u2019 he said in a shaky voice.<\/p>\n

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Pete stared at him, too scared to move. With a huge effort, Joe withdrew one of his hands from its secure hold on the cliff and slowly uncoiled the rope from around his shoulders. His leg muscles tightened as if to compensate for the hand that had given up its hold. \u2018I\u2019m gonna pass the end to ya,\u2019 he said to Pete, \u2018you grab hold of it while I climb back up aways and tie it to something secure.\u00a0 Then you\u2019ll be able to hoist yourself up.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pete nodded. \u2018Hurry Joe, this ground doesn\u2019t feel too secure at all.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Joe threw the end of the rope towards the man, but it missed its mark once again. Cursing softly, he pulled it towards himself when Pete began to yell. \u2018Joe!\u00a0 Quick, the land\u2019s giving way!\u00a0 Hurry up.\u2019 Joe tried to grab the end of the rope to try again, but as he was doing so he saw Pete begin to sink downwards.\u00a0 Instinctively, he reached out to grab hold of him, but his reach was too short.\u00a0 As he leant forward, Joe felt himself losing his grip, and dug his fingers of one hand even tighter into the cliff face next to him.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Joe! Joe, help!\u2019 Pete called frantically. \u2018I\u2019m slipping! Help me!\u2019\u00a0 Joe tried again to lean out to the man, and looked directly into his blue eyes that pleaded with him to do something. He made a frantic grab for Pete\u2019s hand and clutched hold of his wrist.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Hang on Pete,\u2019 he cried, \u2018I\u2019ll try to pull us both up.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Pete felt himself slipping even further and clung to Joe\u2019s arm frantically. His eyes pleaded with Joe to do something, to do anything to save him. As the two young men struggled to regain their balance, the ground beneath Pete subsided even more, and he lost his footing completely. Joe felt the full weight of the other man pull on his arm and felt for a moment that it was going to wrench out of its socket. \u2018Joe!\u2019 Pete called again as he felt his grasp on the other man begin to falter.<\/p>\n

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Joe looked down at him and stared at the panic in his eyes.\u00a0 As they stood for a split second staring at each other it was a look that would be forever imprinted upon his mind.\u00a0 The look of sheer desperation and panic as Pete\u2019s grasp loosened and he fell backwards was one that Joe had never thought could be possible.\u00a0 The blue eyes pierced through his very soul as they fell away from him and the life that was in them was released.\u00a0 Joe followed them downwards with his own eyes and watched them come to rest some yards beneath him.\u00a0 They continued to stare at him, unseeing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Joe shut his eyes and clung to the cliff in front of him.\u00a0 Below him the body of Pete Cooper lay against a rock, face upwards towards the sky.<\/p>\n

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Joe never knew how long he clung to the cliff without moving or opening his eyes.\u00a0 All he wanted to do was to shut out the look of his last vision and erase it from his memory.\u00a0 He flattened his face against the earth and dug his fingers into the rocks that felt so rough against his hands, while he concentrated on listening to his breathing.\u00a0 After what seemed like an eternity, he opened his eyes and stared at the brown dirt in front of his face.\u00a0 His mind was a jumble of thoughts but he could not make sense of them. Concentrate Joe<\/em>, he willed himself, get your head together and think! Come on, do something!<\/em><\/p>\n

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Slowly he moved his head sideways and looked down.\u00a0 There below him Pete\u2019s eyes stared up at him still.\u00a0 He gasped aloud and shut his eyes again, willing them to be gone when next he looked. After a moment he tried again, but there they were still looking at him with an accusing glare. \u2018No!\u2019 he shouted aloud to no one in particular, \u2018No!\u2019<\/p>\n

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His fingers scrabbled at the rocks and he shifted his weight slightly. \u00a0He realised just how tense his body was and how his muscles were beginning to ache. God! Let me hold on as long as I need to! Don\u2019t let me fall like \u2026 <\/em>He looked down again and felt a wave of dizziness wash over him and the cliff face seemed to tilt in front of him.\u00a0 The approaching dusk made it hard to see, and he was grateful that below him the eyes that were boring into his mind and his soul were fading away with the light. Come on Joe, you\u2019ve got to get yourself away from here before it\u2019s too dark to see where you\u2019re going.<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

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He tried to move his hands and clutched at the rocks slightly to his right.\u00a0 His legs fought against him for a moment, but he willed them to move and was amazed when they did at just how shaky they felt. Inch by inch he scuttled along the rock face as far as he could go, and began the awkward and painstaking climb upwards.\u00a0 By the time he had reached the top gasping for lungfuls of air, the stars had come out and night had descended.\u00a0 Joe lay on the grass panting, grateful for the chance to allow his aching muscles to relax.\u00a0 He lay still and drifted off into a light sleep while his body regained its strength.<\/p>\n

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\u2018I don\u2019t know why that boy can never be on time!\u2019 Ben thundered. \u2018He knows what time supper is, why can\u2019t he for once just make sure that he doesn\u2019t keep us waiting!\u2019<\/p>\n

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Adam looked up from his book and smirked. \u2018He\u2019s probably still teaching Pete the finer points of how to rope a steer.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\u2018In the dark? Don\u2019t be stupid!\u2019\u00a0 Ben paced in front of the fireplace, his worry about his youngest son manifesting itself in anger as he did so.<\/p>\n

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The sound of a horse entering the yard drew everyone\u2019s attention, and Hoss said. \u2018There he is now.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell Hop Sing to dish up the food.\u2019\u00a0 He walked quickly to the kitchen with a grin on his face.\u00a0 Hoss never liked to wait on a meal for anyone, and his little brother\u2019s tardiness had annoyed him.\u00a0 \u2018The sooner he gits his tail in here the better!\u2019 he thought.<\/p>\n

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Ben breathed a sigh of relief, and opened the front door. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 he called into the darkness outside. \u2018Get yourself in here now, young man!\u00a0 Supper is overdue!\u2019 He peered out beyond the porch light and sensed a movement there. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 he called again, \u2018is that you?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Out of the darkness he watched his youngest son emerge from the shadows. \u2018And it\u2019s about time you arrived.\u00a0 Just where have you been young man, and why are you so late?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Joe stood and looked at his father silently.\u00a0 All he wanted to do was go to him and feel the warmth and security of his hug, but he didn\u2019t seem to be able to move. He lowered his head and answered quietly. \u2018Pete\u2019s dead.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Ben jerked. \u2018What did you say?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Pete\u2019s dead. He fell off a cliff and he\u2019s dead.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Ben took two steps forward and pulled his son towards him into the light of the porch lamp.\u00a0 Searching his face he noted the hollow, sunken eyes and the hunched shoulders.\u00a0 He drew the boy to him and hugged him against his chest.\u00a0 They stood for a moment in a warm embrace before Ben put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulder and led him into the house.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As they entered the living room Adam looked up and immediately knew something was wrong. He walked straight over to the table and poured a glass of whisky, which he handed to his father.\u00a0 Ben steered Little Joe over to the settee and sat him down. Both men sat on either side of the boy and Ben put the glass to his lips.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Drink this son, it\u2019ll make you feel better.\u2019\u00a0 Little Joe did as he was bid, wincing at the taste as he swallowed a few sips of the liquid.\u00a0 Ben held his arm around the boy\u2019s shoulder tightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a moment Adam said. \u2018Can you tell us about it?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe jerked as Hoss entered the room in his usual noisy fashion. \u2018Well it\u2019s about time!\u00a0 Mebbe a man can get a proper feed now fer a change!\u2019\u00a0 He closed his mouth as he caught the look his father gave him, and he glanced at his younger brother sitting so silently on the settee with his head down. \u2018What?\u2019 he asked, his eyes widening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stroked Little Joe\u2019s curly hair and said softly, \u2018tell us what happened Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe swallowed, and stared into the fire in front of him as he spoke quietly. \u2018Pete fell over the edge.\u00a0 The land gave way while he was tryin to get a steer and he fell. He\u2019s dead.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018You saw it happen?\u2019 Adam asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and continued to stare into the fire. \u2018I tried to get to him, but I couldn\u2019t. He fell.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held onto his boy. \u2018Joe, are you sure he\u2019s dead?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded silently.\u00a0 \u2018After a moment he spoke. \u2018I\u2019m sure.\u00a0 His eyes \u2026.. his eyes were open and staring.\u00a0 He was dead.\u2019\u00a0 He lowered his head into his hands and sobbed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben drew his son\u2019s head onto his chest and they all sat in silence for a few moments until Little Joe had cried himself out.\u00a0 When at last his sobs had subsided, Ben pulled his head up and held his son\u2019s face in his hands as he peered into the tear-filled eyes. \u2018Joe, where did it happen?\u00a0 Where were you both when Pete fell?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared into his father\u2019s eyes. \u2018Up near Bluff Peak on the north side,\u2019 he answered softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned to his two other boys who were sitting quietly listening. \u2018Hoss go into town and let Sheriff Coffee know what\u2019s happened.\u00a0 Tell him we\u2019ll bring the body into town in the morning. Adam, tell Hop Sing supper will have to wait until I get Joseph up to bed.\u00a0 Ask him to prepare a tray for your brother.\u2019 Both of them moved to do as they were bid, and Ben stood and raised Joe to his feet. \u2018Come on upstairs Joseph.\u00a0 Best place for you is bed right about now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe allowed himself to be led upstairs without protesting.\u00a0 Every fibre of his body ached with the effort of holding himself together and screamed out for him to just let go.\u00a0 Each step up the stairs was agony to him and he leant heavily on his father as they ascended.\u00a0 He sat quietly as Ben fussed around him in the bedroom, and quietly changed into his nightshirt when told to.\u00a0 By the time Adam appeared with a tray of food he was already in bed with his eyes shut.\u00a0 Ben motioned Adam to put the tray down, and sat by the bed stroking Joe\u2019s hair as the boy lay quiet and still.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe try and eat something before you sleep,\u2019 he instructed.\u00a0 Joe shook his head and clenched his eyes shut tightly. Ben sighed and rubbed his son\u2019s back as he watched him slowly drift off to sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

————————–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked down and saw the blue eyes boring into him with a passion that made him step backwards.\u00a0 \u2018You did it!\u2019 Pete shouted at him from below. \u2018You did this to me Joe Cartwright! You are going to pay for this!\u2019\u00a0 He started to climb up the side of the pit, clawing at the earth that fell around him in clumps.\u00a0 Joe stood still not able to move his arms or legs, yet desperately wanting to get away from the crazed man below him.\u00a0 As Pete reached the top of the pit he grabbed one of Joe\u2019s ankles and began to pull him down into the pit with him.\u00a0 Joe kicked out at him trying frantically to free himself, but feeling the inevitable pull that took him further and further into the blackness below him.\u00a0 He watched the blue eyes that emanated such hate towards him, as he was dragged closer and closer down towards them. \u2018No!\u2019 he screamed. \u2018 No! Let me go!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He sat up breathing heavily, and felt his father\u2019s hand on the back of his neck rubbing it gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe? Joe it\u2019s alright son, it\u2019s just a nightmare.\u2019 Ben spoke soothingly. \u2018Calm down Joe, it\u2019s over now boy.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe clutched at his father and looked around him.\u00a0 The bedclothes were in disarray and he was sweating profusely. He put his head down and placed his hand over his eyes. \u2018I\u2019m sorry Pa, I didn\u2019t mean to wake you again.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Was it the same as the last one?\u2019 Ben asked while continuing to rub his son\u2019s neck soothingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. \u2018I don\u2019t know. Trouble is I just can\u2019t remember when I wake up. All I know is I get scared and have to get away from something.\u00a0 Guess it\u2019s what happened to Pete that\u2019s doin this to me.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. He was sure that the boy was right. \u2018Joe this is the third night in a row you\u2019ve been like this.\u00a0 I wish you\u2019d take one of the sleeping powders that Paul left for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u2018No, I don\u2019t want to.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018You need some sleep son.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father. How could he tell him that he was afraid to sleep?\u00a0 Afraid of being at the mercy of \u2026. of what exactly?\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t know, but he did know that to be asleep was to dream, and to dream was not a pleasant experience for him at the moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ll be better after tomorrow Pa.\u00a0 When the funeral\u2019s over it should be better shouldn\u2019t it?\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his father pleadingly, willing him to agree.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u2018Of course it will. With each day that passes the pain will ease, but getting the funeral over will be a major step forward.\u2019\u00a0 He pushed his son back onto the bed and settled the covers around him again. \u2018Joe I know this is so hard for you, but you\u2019ve got to try and relax a bit.\u00a0 Tomorrow is going to be hard enough for you without facing the day with no sleep.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and closed his eyes again. \u2018I\u2019ll try Pa,\u2019 he said softly, \u2018go back to bed, I\u2019ll be alright.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at the boy and stayed where he was. After a few moments he felt Joe\u2019s hand clutch his tightly and he squeezed it back. Somehow he knew that neither of them was destined to get much sleep that night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

——————————<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe Pa says it\u2019s time to go,\u2019 said Adam, entering his younger brother\u2019s room.\u00a0 Joe was standing near the window looking out across the lake that sparkled in the sunshine below them. \u2018Joe?\u2019 Adam repeated. \u2018Come on buddy we have to get going now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued to stare out of the window. \u2018It sure is a beautiful day, ain\u2019t it Adam?\u2019 he asked softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Mmm sure is,\u2019 his brother agreed, looking at him with a worried expression. He knew his younger brother was hurting, but he didn\u2019t quite know what to say or do to help him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018It sure is a shame that Pete can\u2019t see it.\u2019 Joe turned to face his brother. \u2018Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t want ta go to the funeral.\u00a0 Do ya think it would matter if I didn\u2019t go?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam walked over to him and put his hands on his brother\u2019s shoulders. \u2018Joe I understand that you don\u2019t want to go, but I think it would be better for you in the long run if you did.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled away from him. \u2018I just can\u2019t go. I can\u2019t stand the thought of Pete bein buried like that.\u2019 He looked at his older brother with tears in his eyes. \u2018You don\u2019t know how hard this is for me.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah Joe, I do,\u2019 Adam replied. \u2018I\u2019ve been through this myself you know.\u2019 Joe looked at him puzzled as his brother continued. \u2018Joe if anyone knows how hard funerals are, it\u2019s me. I\u2019ve stood next to Pa twice while two women I loved were buried, or have you forgotten that?\u2019\u00a0 He turned away from his brother. \u2018I\u2019m sorry. I shouldn\u2019t have said that. You couldn\u2019t possibly be expected to know about those things.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two brothers stood for a moment in silence, and then Joe stepped towards his brother and placed his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u2018No Adam, I\u2019m the one who\u2019s sorry. I guess I wasn\u2019t thinking about anyone but myself.\u00a0 I can\u2019t imagine how you did that twice, specially bein so young and all at the time.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled at him. \u2018Joe all I know is that a funeral is an opportunity for you to have a kind of closure to things that are hurting you.\u00a0 It can be the beginning of a healing process. If you can bring yourself to be there today, then believe me it will help.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and tried to smile. \u2018Alright, I\u2019ll try.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put his arm around his younger brother\u2019s shoulder as they left the room. \u2018Just remember Joe, Pa, Hoss and I will be right there beside you buddy.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

—————————<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe listened to the droning of the Minister\u2019s words and fought back the tears as he looked at the highly polished box before him. \u00a0His father had made sure that Pete had the best that money could buy, but even that made Joe feel guilty as if money could ease the feelings that he had.\u00a0 As a newcomer to town Pete had not had time to establish any friendships apart from with Joe himself, and so the funeral group consisted of only the four Cartwrights, the minister, the minister\u2019s wife and the gravedigger.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt his father\u2019s arm around his shoulders as he urged him forward and he walked towards the open hole a few feet away from them. He closed his eyes and smelled the freshly turned earth and it brought back memories of clinging on to the cliff and pressing his face against the earth. Keep going Joe, this is no time to panic about where you are. <\/em>He drew comfort from the feel of his father\u2019s touch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A scraping sound caused him to open his eyes again and he looked deep into the hole in front of him.\u00a0 He felt a wave of dizziness and his father\u2019s grip tightened as he felt the boy beside him sway. \u2018Joe?\u2019 Ben asked anxiously. \u2018Are you all right?\u2019\u00a0 God! Let me hold on as long as I need to! Don\u2019t let me fall like \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u2018Joe son \u2026..\u2019\u00a0 He opened his eyes again.\u00a0 The ground tilted in front of him and he moved slightly to shift his balance. Come on Joe, you\u2019ve got to get yourself away from here before it\u2019s too late to\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Hang on Joe,\u2019 his brother\u2019s voice beside him echoed in his ear as if very far away.\u00a0 He concentrated on the hole in front of him, and looked down into the dark recess.\u00a0 Two blue eyes looked back at him and he stared at them as if mesmerised.\u00a0 They seem to draw him down towards them and he took a step forward without thinking.\u00a0 Adam gripped his other arm and he felt himself held upright on both sides by his brother and his father.\u00a0 As his eyes became unfocused the last thing Joe heard as he lost consciousness was the scraping sound of wood against the earth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes and saw his father\u2019s face peering anxiously down at him.\u00a0 He fluttered his eyelids a couple of time and Ben smiled at him as he brushed back the curls from his forehead. \u2018Well it\u2019s about time you came woke up.\u00a0 Welcome back.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stretched and looked around him as he noted that he was lying on his own bed.\u00a0 He glanced across the room and looked at the curtains fluttering in the breeze and heard the sound of a horse\u2019s whinny from the corral below.\u00a0 He marvelled at how normal the world still appeared in spite of everything that had happened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Hi Pa,\u2019 he said and shut his eyes again as he remembered. \u2018Did I faint?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes you certainly did,\u2019 his father replied. \u2018Do you remember what happened?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Sort of. Did they finish the funeral?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes, it\u2019s over now,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018The worst is over now son.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed and turned his head to face the wall. He lay still, listening to the silence around him.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019m glad it\u2019s over,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stroked his son\u2019s forehead. \u2018Would you like something to eat?\u2019 he asked. Joe shook his head. \u2018You have to eat something Joe, you didn\u2019t have any breakfast at all.\u2019 Joe shook his head again. Ben looked at his son for a moment before continuing. \u2018Joe I know what you\u2019re thinking, but it wasn\u2019t your fault. You have to stop feeling like that now.\u2019 Joe lay in silence. \u2018You couldn\u2019t do anything to prevent this happening Joe, you know that,\u2019 his father continued. \u2018It just wasn\u2019t your fault.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I know.\u2019 No I don\u2019t know!<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Then stop doing this to yourself. It\u2019s over now Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I know.\u2019 No it\u2019s not over!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know that?<\/em>\u00a0 He turned to face the wall and stared at the wall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Here son, I want you to drink this,\u2019 Ben held out a glass to the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018What is it?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018One of the sleeping powders from Doctor Martin.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t want it.\u2019 \u00a0I can\u2019t go to sleep again and see \u2026 what will I see?<\/em> Joe continued to stare at the wall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned the boy\u2019s head and lifted it as he held the glass to his lips. \u2018I said to drink it.\u2019\u00a0 Joe opened his mouth and swallowed obediently, then closed his eyes again. Ben sat for a few minutes watching his son as he drifted off to sleep again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

——————<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The blue eyes stared at him as he tried to shield his face from their penetrating gaze. Try as he might, they continued to glare at him accusingly.\u00a0 He took a step backwards and called aloud \u2018No! Leave me alone!\u2019 Pete held out a hand to him and stepped forward. \u2018Joe help me!\u2019 He cried. \u2018Joe!\u2019\u00a0 Joe held his head in his hands and implored his friend \u2018Please leave me alone\u2019! He sank to the ground as Pete advanced upon him. \u2018No! Please, No!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018No!\u2019 Joe sat up in his bed and put his hand up to shield his eyes against the glare of the lamp in his brother\u2019s hand. He stared into the darkness and tried to slow down his breathing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat down on the bed beside him. \u2018You OK buddy?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his older brother silently for a few moments. Adam tried again. \u201cJoe? Are you OK?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes.\u2019 No of course I\u2019m not OK!\u00a0 How can I be OK when \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Sounds like a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u2018Nothing to talk about. I can\u2019t remember it.\u2019 He lay down in bed again and closed his eyes. As Adam left the room he opened them again and gazed at the ceiling as he lay patiently waiting for the dawn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

—————————-<\/p>\n

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\u2018How many do ya figure on gittin altogether?\u2019 Hoss mumbled with his mouth full.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I actually don\u2019t think there are many left,\u2019 his father replied to his middle son with his eyes fixed firmly on his youngest. \u2018Shouldn\u2019t take you longer than the morning.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u2018Shouldn\u2019t be too difficult to spot em now. I think they\u2019ve probably strayed down from the peak already.\u2019\u00a0 He followed his father\u2019s gaze and watched his younger brother push the food around his plate as well. \u2018Hey short shanks,\u2019 he said with a grin, \u2018ain\u2019t ya gonna eat that?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe ignored his brother and continued to stare at his plate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on his youngest son\u2019s arm and said, \u2018Joe? Your brother asked you a question.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe looked up, the dark rings evident around his eyes. \u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grinned at him. \u2018Ain\u2019t ya gonna eat that? Ya gonna need all your strength today little buddy tryin to keep up with me and them strays, ya know!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned at his brother. \u2018Yeah sure!\u00a0 When could you ever outride me? Don\u2019t be stupid!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben frowned as he saw the hurt look in Hoss\u2019 eye. \u2018Joseph do not call your brother stupid please!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Why not? He is if he thinks I\u2019m gonna have a problem keepin up with him!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Son I know you\u2019re upset, but that\u2019s no reason to \u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I am not upset!\u2019 Joe yelled at his father and threw his fork down so that it clattered against the plate. \u2018Stop telling me how I feel, why don\u2019t you!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph! I will not have you \u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood up abruptly and turned from the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph!\u2019 Ben yelled, \u2018Come back here when I am speaking to you!\u2019\u00a0 But his words fell on deaf ears as Joe slammed the front door on his way out.\u00a0 Ben sighed and put his head in his hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t pay him no mind Pa,\u2019 ventured Hoss. \u2018You know what he gits like. He\u2019s upset, much an all as he won\u2019t let on.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I know he is,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018I just don\u2019t know what else to say to him.\u00a0 He agrees with me that it wasn\u2019t his fault, but he won\u2019t really admit it to himself.\u00a0 He needs to get over this, but I don\u2019t know how to help him to.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Guess time will help,\u2019 suggested Hoss. \u2018Think I should keep him real busy today, that should help as well. Get his mind off it so to speak, ya think?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben patted his son\u2019s arm and wondered how anyone could ever think that he could be slow.\u00a0 Hoss was one of the most intuitive people that Ben knew, especially when it came to figuring out his younger brother. \u2018I think that would help a lot Hoss.\u00a0 Keep an eye out for him today, won\u2019t you son?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stood and wiped his mouth on his napkin. \u2018Sure thing Pa.\u00a0 Ya know I will.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him as he turned and left the room. Yes, one thing he did know for sure was that Hoss would always keep and eye out for his little brother.\u00a0 Since the moment the boy had laid eyes on the squirming tiny infant that night he was born, he had made him his special responsibility to look after.\u00a0 No one or nothing would ever hurt Little Joe while Hoss was around, of that Ben was sure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—————————<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Over there Joe!\u2019 yelled Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned. \u2018Ya don\u2019t have to tell me!\u00a0 I\u2019ve got eyes to see ya know!\u2019 he yelled back and turned his horse to gallop towards the steers in the direction his brother had been pointing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss frowned as well. It had been like this all morning. Joe had continually snapped at his brother every time Hoss tried to make a suggestion, and it had taken all the big man\u2019s patience to refrain from snapping back at him. He bit back an answer and sat patiently watching as his younger brother skilfully herded the cattle back in his direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Happy now?\u2019 Little Joe snarled at him as he pulled his horse alongside his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss continued to frown at him. \u2018Don\u2019t ya lose ya temper with me, little buddy,\u2019 he said. \u2018I ain\u2019t done nuthin to ya!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe sighed and hung his head. \u2018Sorry Hoss, I didn\u2019t mean to rile ya.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that\u00a0 \u2026. Oh I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Come on, let\u2019s get these down to the others.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss put out his hand and placed it on his brother\u2019s arm. \u2018Ya wanna talk about it Joe?\u2019\u00a0 He asked sympathetically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018There\u2019s nothing to talk about,\u2019 Joe replied. \u2018It\u2019s over and done with alright?\u2019\u00a0 Yeah right! Over and done with \u2013 sure!<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah cause it is. It\u2019s just that sometimes it helps to talk about it.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe shook off his brother\u2019s hand and turned to him with wide eyes. \u2018I said it\u2019s over with!\u00a0 Leave me alone, will ya Hoss?\u2019\u00a0 And with that he turned his horse and rode off down the hill away from his brother and the herd.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss yelled after him, \u2018Joe, come back!\u2019\u00a0 But his brother kept riding away at breakneck speed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

——————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sun was high in the sky as the rider drew to a halt outside the Silver Dollar Saloon, and Little Joe dismounted and practically ran inside.\u00a0 He hurled himself at the bar and shouted. \u2018Hi Sam, give me a whisky will ya?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam the bartender stared at him. \u2018Whisky Joe?\u00a0 You sure?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Sure I\u2019m sure!\u00a0 I\u2019ve got the money to pay for it if that\u2019s what\u2019s worrying ya!\u2019\u00a0 Joe spat back at him. \u2018On second thoughts, give me a whole bottle.\u2019\u00a0 He threw a few dollars down on the counter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam raised his eyebrows, but he did as the young man requested. \u2018OK Joe, there you go.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe grabbed the bottle and turned towards a table in the corner.\u00a0 As he sat himself down and opened the bottle he looked around him.\u00a0 At this time of the day the only people present apart from Sam himself were two old miners and Sadie the regular daytime saloon girl, none of who paid any attention to him. Joe filled his glass for the first time and sat back in his chair. His mind was a whirl as he thought back on all that had happened during the past few days, and he tried to sort out what his feelings actually were.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gradually he sensed himself calming down as the whisky took effect, and he began to close his eyes slightly as the silence enveloped him.\u00a0 \u2018Just thought it was time to experience something a bit different to what I\u2019m used to that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Plus the fact that my parents died recently and I thought it would be a good idea to get away from things for a while, you know?\u2019<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Joe opened his eyes to see Pete\u2019s sorrowful blue eyes staring at him. He leant forward and reached out, but they faded away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe placed his head in his hands for a few moments, and then reached for the half-full glass in front of him.\u00a0 Quickly he put his head back and threw the liquid down his throat then refilled the glass again, his hands shaking as he did so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—————————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed as he dismounted and patted his brother\u2019s pinto horse Cochise who was tied to the hitching rail outside the saloon.\u00a0 \u2018Much better for me to do this,\u2019 he reasoned to himself. \u2018Pa\u2019s mad enough without making a public display of hauling the kid out of here. He\u2019ll be hard enough to contain once I get him home.\u2019 He stood in the doorway of the saloon and looked around for his younger brother, and soon spied him in a corner surrounded by several of the saloon girls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Hi Adam,\u2019 Little Joe yelled at him as he walked towards the group. \u2018Come to join us for a drink?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018No. Come to take you home is all,\u2019 Adam replied, as he reached out and took the glass from his brother\u2019s hand. \u2018Excuse us ladies,\u2019 he tipped his hat at the women who smiled and stood up. \u2018Time for this young man to be departing your company for a while.\u2019\u00a0 He took Little Joe by the shoulders and lifted him to a standing position. \u2018Come on Joe, time to hit the road now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe swayed slightly on his feet and glared at his brother. \u2018What do you mean hit the road? The party\u2019s just getting started, ain\u2019t it ladies?\u2019\u00a0 He grinned around the room at no one in particular.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Come on Joe,\u2019 Adam repeated and began to steer the youngster towards the door. \u2018Pa\u2019s mad enough without us being any later.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Pa\u2019s mad?\u00a0 Why\u2019s he \u2026. Why\u2019s \u2026.\u2019 Little Joe stumbled over his feet and Adam steadied him. \u2018Why\u2019s he mad Adam?\u00a0 Did you do something?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Not me little buddy, you,\u2019 replied his brother grimly. \u2018Do you know what time it is?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed deeply. \u2018Time to get over it, Pa said,\u2019 he shouted. \u2018It\u2019s def \u2026. definitely time \u2026\u2019\u00a0 He waved his arm widely, and knocked off the hat of a man near them. \u2018Sorry,\u2019 he shouted at him, \u2018I\u2019m very \u2026. I\u2019m very sorry.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at Adam mournfully, \u2018Adam I\u2019m real sorry, ya know?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah I know buddy.\u2019 Adam propelled him through the crowd towards the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked back over his shoulder towards the table where he had been sitting moments before. \u2018I\u2019m sorry,\u2019 he repeated in a quieter voice. \u2018I\u2019m real sorry Pete.\u2019 He stared at the blue eyes as his brother pushed him through the door and out into the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—————————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced at the grandfather clock as it stuck the hour, and listened to the chimes as they echoed throughout the quiet house.\u00a0 \u2018Nine o\u2019clock!\u2019 he thundered to himself. \u2018Has the boy got no idea at all?\u00a0 Been missing since mid-morning without telling a soul where he took off to, and now \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of horses in the front yard, and he strode towards the front door and opened it with a bang.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph!\u2019 he called as he peered into the darkness. \u2018Is that you Joseph?\u2019\u00a0 Out of the darkness he saw two figures emerge, and sucked in his breath at the sight of his youngest son.\u00a0 Joe was supported by Adam\u2019s arm around him and he was swaying as he lurched forward. His hat was pushed down as far as it could go on his head, and his jacket was crushed. Ben pulled off the boy\u2019s hat and noted the glazed look in his eyes and the pallor of his skin. Ben frowned at Adam. \u2018In the saloon?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u2018For quite some time I\u2019d say by the look of him.\u2019 He eased his brother through the door. \u2018I\u2019ll get him up to bed Pa, I don\u2019t think he\u2019s in any state to make sense at the moment.\u2019\u00a0 Ben nodded to him.\u00a0 It was obvious that the boy was completely done in, and he would achieve nothing by having it out with him now. He watched as his two sons slowly made their way upstairs, Joe leaning heavily on his older brother. \u2018God help me,\u2019 he prayed, \u2018help me to reach that boy.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph! Did you hear what I said young man?\u2019 Ben thundered at his youngest son who sat upright in his chair at the sound of his voice. \u2018Are you listening to me?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Pa,\u2019 he muttered under his breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Then kindly eat your breakfast and stop fiddling with it.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe picked up his fork and looked at the meal on his plate.\u00a0 He felt his throat constrict at the smell emanating from it, and swallowed as he tried to avoid bringing up the contents of his stomach.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I have no sympathy for you,\u2019 Ben continued. \u2018I understand how you\u2019re feeling at the moment Joseph, but it is no excuse for your behaviour yesterday. Not only did you leave your brother to finish all the work that I had assigned to both of you, but also you told no one where you were going.\u00a0 And worst of all, I find that you spent the entire day drinking in a saloon until all hours of the night.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe listened to his father\u2019s voice get louder and the sound of it made the thumping in his head unbearable. He put his elbows on the table and began to massage his temples as he attempted to block the sound of it out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph! Take your elbows off the table and sit up straight!\u2019 Ben thundered. \u2018There will be no more excuses young man! If I find out that there is a repeat of what happened yesterday, well I \u2026\u2026\u2019 He\u00a0 stopped as Joe stood up. \u2018And where do you think you\u2019re going? Sit down until I\u2019ve finished speaking to you!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe looked at his father, and bent forward to place his hands on the table before him. \u2018Pa I have to go outside. I think I\u2019m gonna be \u2026\u2026\u2019 He leant forward and vomited up all over the table cloth, then sat down again heavily as he surveyed the mess before him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Well there goes breakfast!\u00a0 Thanks a lot little brother!\u2019 Hoss thundered as he stood up wrinkling his nose. \u2018I\u2019m outta here!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Ben sat and looked at the miserable boy in front of them.\u00a0 After a moment Ben stood and motioned to his oldest son. \u2018Come on Adam, we have work to do.\u00a0 Joseph, you have some cleaning up to do here before you join us. And be quick about it please.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued to sit with his pounding head in his hands as he listened to his father and brother leave the room. \u2018Now you\u2019ve done it,\u2019 a voice opposite him whispered. \u2018That really upset them. You\u2019d be better off with me you know.\u00a0 Should have been you anyway. You know it as well as I do.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked into the mocking blue eyes that stared into his. \u2018No!\u2019 he cried. \u2018It should not! Why don\u2019t you just leave me alone?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Leave you alone? Why? You left me alone and look what happened.\u00a0 No Joe, it\u2019s time for you now. You can\u2019t be left alone, you know that.\u2019<\/em>\u00a0 Pete\u2019s eyes pierced into him and he tried to look away, but felt himself drawn back to the eyes that stared at him. He shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again the chair opposite him was empty. Sighing heavily, Joe stood up and began to collect the soiled plates in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

—————————-<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Joe sat with his knees drawn up to his chest and listened to the wind in the pines.\u00a0 He shivered slightly as he felt the breeze on his face and pulled his knees in tighter.\u00a0 Below him the mighty Tahoe Lake shimmered in all its glory and reflected the majestic pines that reached all the way down towards its shores. Normally the sight would have made him smile just for the sheer joy of being here, but today he was lost in thought and didn\u2019t even notice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sound of a horse behind him made him turn his head to see who it was, and he frowned to see his father dismounting. \u2018Great!\u2019 he thought. \u2018Now I\u2019ll get another lecture about being away from work again.\u2019\u00a0 He sat up straighter and prepared himself for the onslaught that he was growing accustomed to.\u00a0 It seemed that every time he and his father spoke lately, they ended up fighting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat down beside him and together they sat and looked at the lake in silence for a few moments. Joe was surprised to hear his father say softly. \u2018It\u2019s beautiful, isn\u2019t it?\u2019 Joe nodded absently. \u2018Your mother loved this view. She and I used to come up here and just sit like this, you know.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father. \u2018Thought you\u2019d come to get mad at me for takin off from work again,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u2018Would it make any difference Joe? I don\u2019t know how many times we\u2019ve had that conversation in the past few days do you?\u2019 Joe shook his head, and Ben placed his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Joe you can\u2019t go on like this son. You have to get on with life and leave this behind you now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned to stare at his father. \u2018How Pa?\u00a0 Tell me just how I\u2019m supposed to get on with life?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked back at the lake and continued. \u2018I don\u2019t know the answer to that Joe.\u00a0 All I know is that it can be done. When a tragedy occurs it\u2019s a terrible thing, and each of us deals with it in our own private way.\u00a0 I know from experience that you just have to look into your soul to find what is important enough to you to keep you going in your life.\u00a0 We all have something Joe, and you just have to find whatever it is that will help you get over this.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat silently and thought. \u2018What did you find Pa? When our mothers died, I mean. What did you find to keep you going?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him and stroked the back of his boy\u2019s neck. \u2018I was lucky. I didn\u2019t have to look very far to find something very dear to keep me going Joe.\u00a0 Each of your mothers left me a son, and that\u2019s what kept me going during those terrible times.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe bent his head down on his knees again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, Pete wouldn\u2019t want you to be like this. He\u2019d want you to get over it.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat up straight again and looked at his father. Behind Ben, Pete sat smiling at him and beckoning. \u2018Come on Joe, tell him. Let him know that I really wouldn\u2019t want that.\u00a0 Let him know how I really feel.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018How would you know?\u2019 Joe shouted angrily. \u2018You don\u2019t know what he\u2019d want! He doesn\u2019t want me to get over it at all.\u00a0 I should have been the one!\u00a0 I should have been the one that was killed, not him!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at him, trying to understand the sudden change in his attitude. \u2018Son, what are you saying?\u00a0 Of course Pete would never have wanted you to blame yourself, he would \u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes he would!\u00a0 He knows it was my fault!\u2019 Joe yelled at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph it was not your fault!\u00a0 You could never have prevented what happen to Pete.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I could! You wouldn\u2019t know anyway, cause you weren\u2019t there. He was there and he knows!\u2019\u00a0 Joe pointed to the spot behind Ben where Pete sat grinning at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned to where his son was pointing, then turned back to face the boy. \u2018Joe? What do you mean son? Who was there?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018He was,\u2019 yelled Joe still pointing. \u2018Pete knows what I\u2019m saying is true, don\u2019t ya Pete?\u2019 He stared at the vacant space behind his father and stood up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leapt to his feet and grabbed his son by the shoulders. \u2018Joe what are you talking about? Pete is gone Joe. There\u2019s no one here but us.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared at his father for a moment, then looked back to the figure sitting on the grass next to them. He shook off his father\u2019s hands and took a step back from him as he put his hands in front of his face. \u2018No! Don\u2019t you say that! He knows, Pa, he \u2026..\u2019 he turned and fled from his father. Ben stared after his son as he disappeared over the crest of the hill.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

———————–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s not in town,\u2019 said Adam as he dismounted from his horse in the front yard of the ranch house. \u2018I searched everywhere, and no one\u2019s seen him all day.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u2018Hoss hasn\u2019t had any luck either. Maybe I\u2019m worrying too much, but\u2026.. if you could have seen the way he was this morning Adam\u2026\u2026 I just don\u2019t know.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Pa he\u2019s probably just taken off somewhere to be by himself for a while.\u00a0 You know how he\u2019s been lately, Adam replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I do know and that\u2019s just what\u2019s got me worried,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018Trouble is I don\u2019t know just what to expect from the boy from one moment to the next. If I could only think of \u2026\u2026\u2019 he stopped and clicked his fingers, then moved towards his horse. \u2018I think I know where to check.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Where?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Where it happened,\u2019 replied Ben as he swung up into the saddle. \u2018He might have gone back to Bluff Peak.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t think so Pa.\u00a0 You know how he\u2019s been avoiding going anywhere near that place.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I know, but he may be ready now to face it,\u2019 said his father. \u2018It\u2019s worth a try anyway.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Want me to come with you in case?\u2019 Adam asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u2018No, leave it to me. I\u2019ll handle Joe if he\u2019s up there.\u2019 Adam leaned against the hitching rail and watched as his father turned his horse and rode out of the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018You know you want to! Come on Joe, it\u2019s easy. I\u2019m down here, why aren\u2019t you?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat and looked over the edge of the cliff in front of him. Pete stood at the bottom and reached upwards towards him. \u2018Come on Joe! Help me! Please Joe!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rubbed his hand over his eyes and looked again. Pete was in trouble that was for sure and he had to help him.\u00a0 He put his feet over the edge and began the steep descent downwards, pressing his body as far in towards the rock face as he could. \u2018I\u2019m coming Pete!\u2019 he called. \u2018Hang on, Pete I\u2019m coming!\u2019 His feet scrambled to find a secure spot and he dug his fingers in further to the rock as he inched his way downwards. His breath came in short bursts and he fought the dizzy feeling that seemed to wash over him. \u2018Come on Joe,\u2019 he said out loud. \u2018Keep going.\u00a0 This is no time to panic.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe!\u2019 called Pete. \u2018Hurry! The ground around me is slipping!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked down towards his friend and watched him slip further down the cliff. Pete looked up at him with his eyes filled with fright, and reached his hand out towards him. Joe moved again downwards.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u2019\u00a0 He looked up to see his father looking at him over the edge of the cliff.\u00a0 \u2018Joseph! Come back up here son!\u2019 Ben called down to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pressed his face against the rock and smelled the fresh earth that invaded his nostrils. He closed his eyes to fight off another wave of dizziness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe! Come back here. Come on up Joe!\u2019 his father called.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018No Pa,\u2019 he called back up. \u2018I have to help Pete.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, Pete isn\u2019t there. There\u2019s no one there son!\u2019 Ben called down to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked down at his friend who was still reaching out towards him. \u2018Pete needs me Pa! I have to get to him!\u2019 He continued inching his way down the cliff.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I need you up here Joe!\u2019 his father called desperately. \u2018Up here Joe, come on back up now!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shut his eyes again and tried to block out his father\u2019s voice. \u2018No!\u2019 he yelled back up to him. \u2018Pete needs me! I have to save Pete!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben lowered his legs over the side of the cliff and began the steep descent downwards towards his boy. \u2018Lord help me,\u2019 he prayed. \u2018Help me get to him!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard his father above him and looked up. \u2018No!\u2019 he cried. \u2018I have to do this myself Pa, I have to save Pete!\u2019 His father came closer to him and he moved away from him further down the rock face. Ben scrambled after him desperately, trying to put less space between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was closer to Pete now, and he could see the blue panic stricken eyes staring up at him. He reached towards his friend\u2019s outstretched hand and momentarily lost his balance, regaining it as he gripped desperately onto the rock. Again he leant downwards, nearly touching the outstretched fingers this time. The blue eyes pierced into his soul, begging him to come further down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe!\u2019 he heard from above, and looked up to see his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s brown eyes pierced into his soul, begging him to come further up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked down at the blue eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked up at the brown eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Joe!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shut his eyes and tried to block out both the voices. Concentrate Joe! He willed himself. Get your head together and think.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked down and reached out for the outstretched hand below him, stretching towards it tentatively.\u00a0 Look into your soul<\/em> Joe. We all have something Joe to help us keep going. Find what it is. <\/em>\u00a0He looked up and reached for the outstretched hand above him, stretching towards it tentatively. \u2018That\u2019s it son. Come on!\u2019 Ben called to his boy. \u2018Just a little further Joe, you can do it!\u2019 Their fingers reached towards each other, and Joe touched solid flesh.\u00a0 He clung to his father\u2019s hand and closed his eyes as a wave of relief washed over him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pulled on the boy\u2019s hand until he could grasp him firmly by the arm.\u00a0 Joe clung to his father and began to sob, but Ben shook him slightly and said. \u2018Joseph! Look at me!\u2019\u00a0 Joe opened his eyes and looked up into the depths of the brown eyes above him.\u00a0 They were filled with a love that he had seen so many times before. \u2018Joe listen to me son. I want you to do as I say. Do you understand me Joe?\u2019 Ben asked.\u00a0 Joe nodded, trying to still his sobs. \u2018Step back up here towards me, Joe. Slowly. Put your hands there. That\u2019s right, Joe. Easy, one at a time.\u2019 Ben urged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slowly, father and son made their way back up towards the top of the cliff, Ben encouraging his boy every step of the way. When at last they reached the top, they collapsed onto the fresh smelling grass and lay together breathing deeply as they tried to contain their breathing. Ben opened his eyes and looked at his son lying next to him, and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. He reached out and touched Joe on the arm and said, \u2018Joe? Joe son, are you alright?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes and searched his father\u2019s face. He drew comfort from the touch and the words, and began to sob. \u2018Pa! Pa! I couldn\u2019t save him Pa! He fell!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached out and pulled his son towards him. \u2018I know Joe, I know.\u2019 He murmured. \u2018It wasn\u2019t your fault. Nothing could have saved Pete.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled away from his father\u2019s touch, scrambled towards the edge of the cliff and looked down.\u00a0 There was no one there. Pete had disappeared and all he could see was the emptiness below him. He looked back at his father. \u2018He\u2019s gone!\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018Where has he gone Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben moved over towards his son. \u2018He was never there Joe,\u2019 he said putting his arm around his son\u2019s shoulders. \u2018You just thought he was.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018But he was so real.\u2019 Joe said. \u2018He was there Pa, I saw him.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018No Joe you only thought you did.\u2019 Joe looked into his father\u2019s eyes again. \u2018Sometimes the mind can play strange tricks on a man Joe. Sometimes we see what we want to see.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018He really is gone isn\u2019t he?\u2019 Joe asked his father quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Joe he really is.\u2019 Ben replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hung his head, the tears falling unchecked. \u2018I really wanted him to be alright Pa. I really wanted to save him.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I know you did Joe, but you couldn\u2019t.\u2019 His father replied. \u2018No one blames you for that son.\u2019 He hugged him tighter towards him. \u2018It\u2019s over now Joe. You need to go on now.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018You said to search my soul to find whatever it is that will help me get over this.\u2019 Joe said quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his boy. \u2018Yes that\u2019s right.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared up into the depths of the brown eyes that looked back at him with so much love. \u2018I think I found it Pa,\u2019 he whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Joe feels responsible for the death of a new ranch hand<\/p>\n

Rated: T (13,725 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":15648,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,1007,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-joe-cartwright","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1007-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Joecourage.png?fit=424%2C352&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2084"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2084\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/15648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}