{"id":2100,"date":"2009-09-09T17:54:47","date_gmt":"2009-09-09T21:54:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2100"},"modified":"2026-03-07T19:05:57","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T00:05:57","slug":"bedside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2100","title":{"rendered":"Bedside (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Adam, Hoss and Ben try to will Little Joe back to consciousness after an accident<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K (3,490 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bedside<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam<\/p>\n

I know I shouldn\u2019t, but I can\u2019t help but feel responsible for it. Every time I think about that kid being there I know I should have made sure that he did as he was told and left when I said to. But as Pa says, Joe never was much good at obeying orders. Wish he had yesterday though. If only\u2026\u2026\u2026.. no. It doesn\u2019t do any good to live in the past, that\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve learned in life. Nothing changes just because we wish it too. Especially this.<\/p>\n

Pa looks so tired. I wish I could convince him to get some sleep, but I know that he won\u2019t for a while yet. Fool kid! Just when you least expect it Joe up and does something like this and causes Pa worry again. Causes it for all of us\u2026\u2026Hoss doesn\u2019t look too crash hot either. Why does the kid always seem to get himself into these situations? If he\u2019d only listened \u2026\u2026\u2026.no, if he\u2019d only done as he should have and not been up at the timber mill in the first place!<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the point of thinking like this? He\u2019ll never change. Problem is of course that none of us would want him to be any different and that\u2019s what makes it so hard to deal with. He\u2019s just such a pain, but he\u2019s such fun at the same time. Fun\u2026. that\u2019s something I could probably do with in my life. Nobody\u2019s fault really\u2026\u2026.just the way it had to be, but sometimes I miss not having had the chance to be like Joe.<\/p>\n

Pa probably feels guilty about it at times. In fact I know he does. I\u2019ve seen it in his eyes at times when he looks at me. I can\u2019t help it if I\u2019m too serious for his liking at times. I try not to be because I know how it makes him feel, but I can\u2019t go against my nature. No more than this kid here I suppose. We\u2019re all born the way were are and we really can\u2019t do much about it.<\/p>\n

Take Hoss for example. He\u2019s probably the most easy-going one of all of us and look at him now. Fretting himself over the kid like the world was about to end. Yet he can\u2019t admit that Joe caused the problem in the first place. Well he probably can, but he\u2019s ready to forgive him for it in the blink of an eye.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what causes a lot of Joe\u2019s problems I think. Pa and Hoss are always ready to make excuses for him and to let him off the hook. Just as well I\u2019m usually around to talk some sense into them. Otherwise he\u2019d be even more spoilt. Pa was so ready to kill the kid yesterday, but when he wakes up I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be all over him and let him off yet again.<\/p>\n

Not that I blame him really if the truth be known. Joe\u2019s such a charmer that he even gets me going half the time. Not this time though! I\u2019m not saying that he deserves to be lying there like this. No, I\u2019d give anything to see him open his eyes and laugh at me again. But when he does\u2026\u2026well, heaven help him that\u2019s all that I can say!<\/p>\n

Thinks he can carry on and do exactly what he wants all the time and get away with it does he? Well not this time Joe Cartwright! You just wake up and see what\u2019s in store for you kid! I\u2019m sick and tired of covering for him all the time with Pa. It\u2019s time he took responsibility for what he does and stops hiding behind Hoss and me while we get him out of it. Oh no, Joseph\u2026. You\u2019re in for it this time!<\/p>\n

Pa looks so worried. I wonder if he told us all that Paul said to him out there. I hope he\u2019s being honest with Hoss and I. It\u2019d be just like him not to be. He\u2019s always trying to shield us from knowing. What he doesn\u2019t realise is that its better to know than to guess what\u2019s going on. Maybe Joe is worse than he said. Maybe \u2026\u2026 No. Pa would have said. He couldn\u2019t possibly hope to hide it from us if it was that bad. He\u2019d know that wouldn\u2019t be fair.<\/p>\n

Still\u2026..the way that Paul looked at him when he left. It wasn\u2019t such a bad fall after all. Only quite minor really. Then why is it that he hasn\u2019t woken up yet? It\u2019s been hours after all. Damn fool kid! Now he\u2019s got me all worried as well. Honestly\u2026\u2026.some days I just wish he\u2019d\u2026\u2026\u2026 no I don\u2019t really. That\u2019s just stupid. What would it do to Pa after all if anything serious happened to his youngest?<\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s always been like that. Always had a real soft spot for the kid. I know we all do really. Sometimes it\u2019s hard not to show it though. Wonder why I don\u2019t like to let on to the kid how a really feel about him? Who knows\u2026.. maybe because if I did he\u2019d know. He\u2019d be able to see inside me and realise how I feel about lots of things. Can\u2019t let anyone do that. Not even Pa.<\/p>\n

Strange how a man builds a wall up around himself so high that it\u2019s impossible to knock it down again. I started building my wall years ago. Can\u2019t even remember when really. All I know is that it was always there and I had to build it higher all the time. What\u2019s inside I wonder? Sometimes I don\u2019t even let myself know. Wish I could.<\/p>\n

Wish I could be like the kid. He\u2019s got no wall to knock down. He\u2019s an open space to anyone that wants to see the true Joe. It\u2019d be nice to be like that at times. Never having to be careful of what people might think. Never having to play things by the book and be sure about what I say and do. Not me though\u2026\u2026it\u2019s just not in my nature.<\/p>\n

Still\u2026\u2026.. the kid\u2019s got a point. Must be a nice way to live your life. Sure gets him what he wants. Pa and Hoss think the world of him. So does Hop Sing. So does everyone else he comes in contact with really. So do I when all\u2019s said and done.<\/p>\n

Just wish he\u2019d open those eyes of his and give me the chance to say something sarcastic to him again. I\u2019d give anything to see that cheeky look on his face again. Can\u2019t stand this much longer!<\/p>\n

God\u2026please help Pa if anything happens to Joe. I don\u2019t think he could take it one more time. Not after\u2026\u2026 I don\u2019t think I could take it either. Wonder why some families seem to get more than their fair share? Well the Cartwrights have sure had their fair share and I don\u2019t aim to let us go through this again.<\/p>\n

Wake up you damn fool kid! Listen to me\u2026..you are not going to do this to any of us! We\u2019re not going to put up with it Joe. Open your eyes damn you and listen to me!<\/p>\n

Hoss<\/p>\n

Hey come on shortshanks it\u2019s Hoss here. Listen ta me kid and come back to us will ya? We need ya little buddy, you know that for a fact. Why\u2019d ya have ta go and do a fool thing like this for? I mighta known ya\u2019d go and ruin things again.<\/p>\n

Seems like every time I turn around you\u2019re in some sort of trouble. Every since ya was a littleun and Pa\u2019d make me look after ya all the time. That was a waste of time mostly anyways. Couldn\u2019t for the life of me understand how one kid could get up to so much mischief even when I was watching ya so closely.<\/p>\n

Guess its like Pa said and you\u2019re a mischief magnet. Poor Pa! Look at him sitting there holding onto ya hand like its gonna help bring ya back ta us. Well maybe it will\u2026\u2026.who knows? Stranger things have happened. Sure wish he didn\u2019t haveta go through this with ya though. Pa\u2019s had enough ta worry about in his life without you doing this ta him all the time.<\/p>\n

How many times have ya got yaself into some kind of fix little buddy? And every time poor Pa and Adam and me has ta bail ya out again. Well here we go again is all I can say. Only I hope ta God we can do it this time. Doc Martin sure didn\u2019t look too pleased when he felt that head of yours. Wonder what he really thinks about it. Sometimes I don\u2019t know about that doctor. I mean\u2026. he\u2019s great at what he does and lord knows he\u2019s brought you though a time or two\u2026\u2026..but he doesn\u2019t always speak plain if ya know what I mean.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I reckon he doesn\u2019t always tell us the truth. Thinks we\u2019ll get all upset or something. Well I\u2019ve got news fer ya Doc. It\u2019s too late! We\u2019re all upset now, like it or not. Who wouldn\u2019t be after all looking at that face. Open ya eyes little buddy\u2026\u2026\u2026 I promise I won\u2019t be mad at ya fer what ya did!<\/p>\n

Bet Adam is though. I can jest tell from the look on his face. Oh yeah\u2026..he\u2019s hopping mad at what ya did this time. Should have listened ta him and left when he told ya to shouldn\u2019t ya? Oh yeah mr high and mighty will be ready ta tell ya so when ya open them eyes of yours fer sure. Just give him the chance ta tell ya off again will ya shortshanks? Its won\u2019t last long and then we\u2019ll get back ta normal again.<\/p>\n

Pa\u2019ll be mad too once he gets ta think about it. After all ya shouldn\u2019t have been up there in the first place. Why do ya always manage ta be in the wrong places buddy? Why can\u2019t ya ever do as ya\u2019re told? Guess ya wouldn\u2019t be our Little Joe if ya did. I mean\u2026\u2026ya sure can be a pest, but ya\u2019re kind of cute in a pesky way.
\nCome on little buddy open ya eyes and smile fer Hoss will ya? I promise I won\u2019t let them be mad at ya fer long. They\u2019ll get over it eventually. Come on buddy.<\/p>\n

I shoulda made sure ya weren\u2019t going up there in the first place. I heard Pa tell ya not when ya talked about it, but did I follow ya? No I didn\u2019t\u2026\u2026.. and that\u2019s where the problem started I guess. I know what Pa\u2019d say iffen I told him that. He\u2019d say that I wasn\u2019t responsible fer your actions. As if that\u2019s true!<\/p>\n

You and I both know that I\u2019ve always been responsible fer ya little buddy. Adam always thought he was, but he was wrong. It\u2019s always been you and me Joe. Since the day ya became my little brother I\u2019ve felt a hankering ta look after ya that I don\u2019t fer anyone else. Guess no one else lays claim on me like you do little brother. You\u2019re the only little brother I got and I ain\u2019t about ta let ya go that\u2019s fer sure.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m getting angry with ya now Joe. Listen ta what I\u2019m saying ta ya boy! I told ya ta open them eyes of yours and I mean it. Please. Aw, come on Joe. Quit playing games will ya? Pa\u2019s worried and this ain\u2019t no time ta be doing this ta him. Ta Adam or me either.<\/p>\n

Poor old Adam over there. He tries ta let on that he\u2019s OK with all this but he ain\u2019t really. I can tell what he\u2019s thinking. He tries ta make out that he\u2019s angry and when ya do open them eyes he\u2019ll pretend ta be. But the truth is he\u2019s just as upset as Pa and me about all this. I hope he don\u2019t blame himself fer any if this. It weren\u2019t his fault that you ended up there. He said he told ya to go back home. I know exactly how he would have done it too.<\/p>\n

He would have been all bossy and told ya ta git. And then you would have done the opposite just ta get him all riled up. Never could get on you two could ya? On the surface at least. I know how it really is though. Ya both won\u2019t admit it, but ya love each other really. Even Pa don\u2019t know how much. But I do. I know because I\u2019ve got both of ya inside of me. I know how ya both feel. I\u2019m ya brother after all Mr high and mighty Adam and I know ya adore the kid just like I do. Ain\u2019t no good denying it ta me ya know. It\u2019s just a waste of time.<\/p>\n

And you shortshanks\u2026\u2026.well you\u2019re just as bad. Pretending all the time that ya don\u2019t care. Specially in the last couple of years since big brother came back from College. Ya do care little buddy. Ya care an awful lot, but ya just won\u2019t show it. Wonder why ya both carry on like that? Never could figure it out myself.<\/p>\n

Guess I\u2019m in the middle in more ways than one. I love ya both and I don\u2019t mind showing it. Wish ya\u2019d both learn ta get over this. Mind you, I can get really angry with both of ya too\u2026..like now. I\u2019m getting riled up with all this Joe. Stop it now and open those eyes will ya? I don\u2019t want ta hafta get mad with ya but I will if ya don\u2019t listen ta me soon little buddy!<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t do this will ya? Are ya listening ta me Joe? Hey buddy\u2026.it\u2019s Hoss here. Do as you\u2019re told will ya? I can\u2019t stand it Joe. Open ya eyes. I can\u2019t stand the thought of you being like this any more.<\/p>\n

Ben<\/p>\n

Come on son do it for Pa, will you? Come on Joseph, enough is enough. It\u2019s time to wake up now son. Are you listening to me? I\u2019m not mad with you Joseph, I just want you to open your eyes son. Come on now.<\/p>\n

God! I can\u2019t take much more of this. How many more times Lord? How can you ask this of me again? Haven\u2019t I been through enough without this too? Why Joseph of all people? He\u2019s only a child. Why him? What did he ever do to deserve this?<\/p>\n

I know. I should have more faith in you\u2026.but it\u2019s so hard. How many times have I said this to myself only to have life deal me another hard blow? Well not this time Lord! You can\u2019t have my Joseph.<\/p>\n

Joe? Son listen to me. It\u2019s alright boy. Pa\u2019s not mad with you. Well maybe I was a bit, but it doesn\u2019t matter any more. Nothing matters except that you\u2019ll be alright. I want you to open your eyes and listen to me. Alright\u2026..I know you did the wrong thing, but we\u2019ll talk that through like we always do. It\u2019s not worth all this\u2026..nothing is. All that matters is that you come back to your brothers and me.<\/p>\n

Poor boys. I know they\u2019re taking this hard. Lord, they\u2019ve been through enough too. Don\u2019t do this to them please. I won\u2019t be able to stand it. It\u2019s bad enough for me, but they shouldn\u2019t have to go through this as well. Especially when I know they\u2019ll be blaming themselves for it. Oh I know, there no reason for them to\u2026..but I know what they\u2019re like.<\/p>\n

Both of them have always made it their responsibility to watch out for their little brother. Partly my fault of course because they knew I expected it of them. But what choice did I have? Lord knows I couldn\u2019t deal with this youngster by myself and survived. I needed their help and I\u2019m so grateful that they\u2019re the kind of brothers to look out for Joseph.<\/p>\n

I hope they don\u2019t realise how serious this is\u2026.. I suspect that they do though. I saw the look Adam gave Paul and I when we left the room. He thinks we\u2019re not telling him the whole truth. But how can I? How can I tell him that Paul\u2019s not sure which way this will go? He and Hoss love this boy so much, I don\u2019t want to upset them even more. Maybe I\u2019m wrong\u2026..I don\u2019t know. God help me I just don\u2019t know what to do any more. Joseph son come on now. Open your eyes please!<\/p>\n

Hoss will be so upset over this if anything happens to the boy. They\u2019re just so close I don\u2019t know what he\u2019ll do. Adam too. He tries to hide it, but he can\u2019t from me. He tries to make out that he cares about the boy behaves and tells me all the time how much I spoil him, but I know that given half a chance he\u2019d do it too. He does do it! He thinks I don\u2019t know about all the times he and Hoss care for him. Well maybe I don\u2019t, but I sure know more than they think.<\/p>\n

I really can\u2019t win when I think about it. Adam criticises me for being too soft with the boy and Hoss says I\u2019m too hard on him. All I know is that its hard at times to know what to do with him.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t even know if Paul\u2019s being honest with me to tell the truth. I saw the look on his face when he was examining him. How can such a small bump on the head cause all this? It doesn\u2019t look that bad, but it must be if he hasn\u2019t woken up by now. Who\u2019s to know with heads\u2026they\u2019re always tricky. You never can tell. Sometimes they\u2019re just so much worse than they look.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s so still. Hasn\u2019t got much colour either. Is this how it\u2019s going to be? Is this the way his short life will end? I can\u2019t think like that! It\u2019s not going to be like this\u2026.I just won\u2019t let it. It doesn\u2019t matter what Paul says. This boy is going to make it. He\u2019s strong, I know that. He might be little, but he\u2019s tough. Always has been. I remember when he was born. No one gave him much chance then, but I knew he\u2019d make it. Always had a strong will this child. That\u2019s probably what\u2019s got him into all the trouble he manages to attract, but in this case it\u2019s a blessing. You hear that Joseph? You\u2019re strong son. You can do this! Come on boy\u2026.. use some of that stubbornness and you\u2019ll through this. I know you will.<\/p>\n

Being a single father isn\u2019t easy Lord, you know that. You know how hard I\u2019ve tried\u2026..with all of them. But this one just tests me to the limit. He seems to spend his life thinking up ways to get into trouble. I\u2019ve done my best with him, but it just hasn\u2019t been good enough. What kind of father lets his son get hurt in this way?<\/p>\n

I should have been stricter with him. I should have made it clearer that he wasn\u2019t to go up there. Then he would never\u2026\u2026no! I can\u2019t take all the responsibility for this. Joseph is old enough to know when to obey my instructions.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the problem. He\u2019s old enough, but he\u2019s just so darned wilful. Reminds me so much of \u2026\u2026\u2026my darling I\u2019m so sorry! I promised you I\u2019d always look out for him and look what I\u2019ve allowed to happen to him. How could I have done this? You trusted me with our precious son and now\u2026\u2026\u2026..Marie help him! Don\u2019t let him be taken away from us. I couldn\u2019t stand it Marie. He\u2019s all I have left of you.<\/p>\n

I know I\u2019m being selfish my love. I know you probably want him with you now, but I need him so much. Please don\u2019t take him away from me yet! I\u2019ve only had him for a short time\u2026\u2026.. I couldn\u2019t bear to let him go. Please Marie, help him to stay with me!<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t\u2026\u2026\u2026 Oh God please help me! I can\u2019t let this child go! I\u2026.. Joseph! I want you to listen to me son\u2026\u2026\u2026.this is Pa son. I want you to open your eyes for me. Do it for me Little Joe. Do it for Pa. Please son! You can do it\u2026\u2026. I know that you can!<\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/p>\n

Little Joe\u2019s eyes fluttered open and he looked up at his father and brothers. \u2018What happened?\u2019 he whispered.<\/p>\n

\u2018Shhh\u2026..it\u2019s alright now Joseph. Everything\u2019s going to be alright now son.\u2019<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Adam, Hoss and Ben try to will Little Joe back to consciousness after an accident<\/p>\n

Rated: K (3,490 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":11265,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,1008,41,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-family","category-hurtcomfort","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3538,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/normal_MBK-JC2.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16272,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16272","url_meta":{"origin":2100,"position":0},"title":"Hearts Afire #3 – Consequences (by Christy)","author":"Christy","date":"August 9, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0\u00a0Adam made choices when he left for college.\u00a0\u00a0Now eight years later, there is an empty spot in the hearts of Ben, Hoss and most especially Little Joe.\u00a0\u00a0What will the final consequences of Adam\u2019s choices be and how will those consequences affect Little Joe and the Cartwright\u2019s?\u00a0\u00a0 Rated:\u00a0PG\u00a0for some violence\u00a0 (12,650\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Adam-traurig.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Adam-traurig.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Adam-traurig.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Adam-traurig.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2157,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2157","url_meta":{"origin":2100,"position":1},"title":"The Birthday Wish (by pony)","author":"pony","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0It's Joe's birthday, and he's making a wish. But the Cartwrights don't realize it's someone else's birthday too ... and he has a secret wish of his own. 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