Summary:\u00a0 Joe feels the loss of his friend Baker.<\/p>\n
Rated: K WC 9700<\/p>\n
Baker’s Brat Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n Baker’s Brat<\/a> <\/p>\n Baker’s Legacy<\/strong><\/p>\n The man stepped down from the stage and looked around, hoping desperately that something would look familiar to him. His dark eyes swept first up the dusty street and then down again, searching in vain for something that might spark a memory. \u201cHey mister!\u201d shouted the driver from up on top of the stage. \u201cYou want ya bag or don\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n The man looked up and nodded. The stage driver threw the bag down and it hit the sidewalk with a thud. \u201cThanks!\u201d said the man sarcastically and picked it up before straightening his coat and pushing his hat back on his head. He looked up and down the street again. \u201cCan you direct me to the sheriff\u2019s office please?\u201d he shouted up to the driver who pointed a dirty finger across the street to the large \u201cjail\u201d sign that was displayed. \u201cThanks!\u201d said the man again and began to make his way across the street slowly.<\/p>\n He continued to look both up and down the street as he walked, hoping against hope that something or someone might look familiar to him, but by the time he\u2019d reached the jail his hopes were dashed. Once again, he felt the familiar frustrated feeling that had come to be so much a part of his life now and he wondered if he\u2019d ever been free of it.<\/p>\n He opened the door and walked inside, hesitating for a moment to look around the small office which seemed to be empty. \u201cHello!\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n A man entered the room with a broom in his hand. From the look of his greying hair and untidy moustache, the man figured that he was fast approaching retirement age, yet he walked with a purpose that belied his age somewhat. \u201cJust cleaning up a mite,\u201d the sheriff explained as he replaced the broom against the wall. \u201cSheriff Coffee\u2019s the name,\u201d he added, holding out his hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cRoy Coffee?\u201d asked the man, shaking the sheriff\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d replied Roy. He looked at the man in a puzzled fashion. \u201cDo I know ya mister?\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember seeing you round town here before.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, we\u2019ve never met,\u201d replied the man. \u201cAnd I\u2019ve never been to Virginia City before. At least \u2026 not that I remember,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy looked at him strangely. \u201cNot that you can remember?\u201d he asked. The man nodded, but offered no other explanation. \u201cWell,\u201d said Roy after a moment. \u201cCan I help ya stranger?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The man nodded. \u201cI hope so,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust got in on the stage, did ya?\u201d sheriff Coffee asked, indicating a chair for the man as he sat down himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d replied the man as he sat down.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was silence for a moment as they both looked at each other. \u201cWell \u2026. What can I help ya with?\u201d asked the sheriff.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The man cleared his throat. \u201cI believe you know a family called Cartwright?\u201d he asked. \u201cI was wondering if you could direct to me where they live?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure do,\u201d said Roy, fingering his chin. \u201cWhat do ya want with the Cartwrights?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The man hesitated. \u201cI think that I might know them,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou think?\u201d asked Roy. \u201cDon\u2019t ya know?\u201d\u00a0 The man shook his head as Roy gave him a suspicious look, noting the long scar down one side of his face that gave him the look of a criminal. \u201cWhat do ya want with the Cartwrights?\u201d Roy asked. \u201cAnd what\u2019s ya name stranger?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMy name is Mr Baka,\u201d replied the man. \u201cI don\u2019t blame you for being suspicious sheriff. I know that I\u2019m sounding a bit strange about all of this, but the plain truth is that I\u2019m hoping that I will know the Cartwrights when I meet them.\u00a0 There is a child named Joseph I believe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe ain\u2019t no child,\u201d said the sheriff. \u201cHe\u2019s going on fer twenty-three.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh,\u201d said Baka, touching his coat pocket. \u201cThen I guess my information is more out of date then I thought.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYer information?\u201d asked Roy, leaning forward and staring at Baka. \u201cAnd just what information would that be, may I ask?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCertainly,\u201d replied Baka. He took a folded piece of paper out of his coat pocket and handed it to the Sheriff.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy looked at it suspiciously and then unfolded it to read.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n deer baka,<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n My pa sed I culd rite to you. My pa sed that my brutha Adam is not ded in Bostun and I got in trubble for tring to find him. Can ya pleese rite and tell my pa I shuldnt be in trubble no more baka? I miss ya baka. When are ya cuming ta viset me baka? Tell the sarj that I am eating lots and growing biga every day. I will soon be big enuff ta join the arme like he done told me I culd. I askt my pa iffen we can cum and viset ya agen but he sed no. He seys I can cum when I get biga. I told my pa I am biga now but he sed I still aint big enuf. So ya have ta cum and viset me insted baka. I live in nevardar on the pondarosa ranch. Jest go to verjinia cite and ask sherif cofe. He is our frend and he will tell ya how to cum hear and see me.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Your frend<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wondered how old the letter was,\u201d said Baka when Roy had finished. \u201cYou see sheriff \u2026 I had no way of knowing how long I\u2019ve been carrying that around with me. I had it when \u2026 well \u2026 I think I\u2019d better start at the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI think you\u2019d better,\u201d replied Roy, handing the letter back to Baka and folding his arms in front of him. \u201cStart explaining Mister Baka.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He looked down and fingered the scars on his torso, noting how they had at last begun to fade slightly. After all, it had been over a year now since he had arrived here at the mission \u2026 so it was to be expected that they would by now. He knew that he would carry them for the rest of his life and he just wished that he knew what had caused them. <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The brothers here had been kindness itself to him in these past few months. No one could have hoped for better treatment than these simple servants of their Lord had given him. They had ministered to him and treated his ugly wounds as if he had been one of their own and he would eternally grateful to them for taking him in the way they had when he had stumbled into their mission with a raging fever and countless wounds that had threatened to be his destruction.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He knew without doubt that if it hadn\u2019t been for these men he would not be here now. Yet still, he couldn\u2019t help but feel so angry and frustrated at the way things were. The brothers had helped his body to heal, yet nothing had helped his mind. It was blank prior to arriving here at the mission and try as he would nothing seemed to be real before that day.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He wondered how he had come to be stumbling around in the desert \u2026. He wondered exactly how he had been wounded \u2026. He wondered what his name was and if he had any family who by now had given him up for dead \u2026 there were so many things that he wondered \u2026 so many things that he just didn\u2019t know. <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He walked over to the small window and looked out onto the vegetable garden where some of the brothers were working. He owed these men his life and he knew that he had to try and repay them for giving it back to him. He would stay and work here amongst them while he tried to put the pieces of his mind and his life back together again. <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI lived in that mission for over two years,\u201d finished Baka. \u201cUntil I was ready to face the world again.\u201d He fingered the scar on his face unconsciously. \u201cAfter that I drifted from job to job as I came to terms with being like this.\u201d He looked at the sheriff to see if he understood what he was saying and saw Roy nod his head slightly. \u201cI suppose I was worried about who I might be and what the life that I left behind was like,\u201d Baka continued. \u201cEven though I wanted desperately to know who I was, I was terrified at the same time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo you had no idea at all who you are?\u201d asked Roy. \u201cYour memory has never come back to you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baka shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cFor five years I\u2019ve lived with no past. Nothing has ever triggered a memory for me \u2026until now,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe letter,\u201d said Roy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes \u2026 the letter,\u201d said Baka. \u201cIt was the only thing they found on me \u2026 the only link to my past and my identity. It\u2019s taken me five years to build up the courage to come here, face my past and find this Joe Cartwright. I\u2019m hoping that when I meet him he might be able to tell me something to help bring back my memory, or at least give me some clues as to who I am and what my life used to be,\u201d he finished, patting his pocket in which he\u2019d put the letter and looked out of window as he did so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy nodded. \u201cI see,\u201d he said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI just didn\u2019t know \u2026\u201d continued Baka. \u201cI just didn\u2019t know how old the letter was. Apparently I\u2019ve been carrying it around for years if this Joe Cartwright is no longer a child. This letter was obviously written when he was quite young.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he agreed. \u201cI think I know now who you are mister.\u201d He held up his hand as Baka leaned forward anxiously. \u201cIt would be better for the Cartwrights to tell ya,\u201d the sheriff continued. \u201cThey know the whole story.\u201d He gave the other man a long look. \u201cThey think you\u2019re dead, ya know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWas I close to them?\u201d Baka asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Roy nodded. \u201cIn a way,\u201d he said. \u201cYou was right close to Joe, especially when he was a young\u2019un. Here \u2026 I\u2019ll write down directions for you ta get to The Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d said Baka, sitting back in his chair again and breathing deeply. So it was finally going to happen \u2026 after all these years he was finally going to know something of his past. He sincerely hoped that his past wasn\u2019t something he was going to regret finding out about.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He stopped near the shore of the large lake and breathed in the fresh scent of the pine trees high above his head. This was certainly beautiful country and he revelled in the fresh air and the coolness. So different from Arizona and the mission where he\u2019d spent the last few years. He\u2019d spent a lot of time during the past few weeks wondering if he was doing the right thing by coming here to face his past, but now that he was here he knew deep within his soul that he was. Whatever his past was \u2026 it was time to face it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He took out the letter and studied it again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tell the sarj that I am eating lots and growing biga every day. I will soon be big enuff ta join the arme like he done told me I culd.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n For perhaps the hundredth time, he wondered if he had been in the army at some stage. The child\u2019s letter seemed to suggest to him that perhaps he had and if so \u2026 had that had something to do with the fact that he had suddenly found himself in Arizona with the injuries that he\u2019d had and no memory of what had happened to him? He had considered contacting the army to see if he was known there, but something within had stopped him from doing so. He wondered if he had been a deserter and if so he could have regretted the move in the future? So he had followed the only other course of action that he could. The only clue to his identity was this Cartwright family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He wondered just what his relationship with this child had been? Why on earth would a child be writing to him in that way? Was he perhaps related to him in some way? He put the letter back in his pocket again and patted it as he turned his horse away from the lake and back towards the trail that led to The Ponderosa ranch. He hoped that soon all his questions would be answered \u2026. and that the answers would be ones, which he could handle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n He rounded the corner of the barn and sat on his horse for several minutes before dismounting, hoping that the ranch house would mean something to him \u2026 spark a memory perhaps. He shook his head slightly as nothing came to mind and he dismounted and tied up his horse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan I help ya?\u201d He turned to see a large man smiling at him. The man\u2019s face immediately registered surprise and disbelief and his jaw dropped open as he took a few steps forward. \u201cWell dadburnit!\u201d he exclaimed. \u201cI can\u2019t believe it!\u201d He pumped Baka\u2019s hand up and down several times, giving him a broad gap-toothed grin. \u201cWho woulda thought it!\u201d he said in glee. \u201cWell you\u2019re sure a sight fer sore eyes!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baka gave the man a tentative smile. \u201cI \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell come along inside!\u201d the man said, putting his arm around Baka and practically dragging him across the front yard. \u201cBoy are you sure ever gonna cause a stir! That little brother of mine is just about gonna jump right outta his skin when he sees ya!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baka closed his mouth and allowed himself to be dragged towards the porch and through the front doorway. An older man with silver hair stared at him in disbelief as he stood there looking around and Baka stared back at him, hoping against hope that he would mean something too him. To his dismay however, he couldn\u2019t recall who he might be. He was just about to speak, when two other men entered the room. One was dressed in black and the other had on a green jacket. They both stopped and stared at him for a few seconds and then the younger of the two \u2026 the one in the green jacket \u2026 ran forward and threw his arms around him. \u201cI can\u2019t believe it!\u201d he exclaimed. \u201cI must be seeing things!\u201d he drew back fro Baka and looked at him and Baka was surprised to see tears standing in his eyes. \u201cIt\u2019s really you!\u201d the young man exclaimed and hugged him again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baka tried to disentangle himself from the young man\u2019s grip and saw the surprised look on the young man\u2019s face as he did so. He took a step away from him as soon as it was possible to do so. \u201cWould you be Joe Cartwright?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The young man stared at him in disbelief. \u201cWhat?\u201d he said, grinning as if Baka had made a huge joke, but looking puzzled at the same time. \u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u00a0 Of course I\u2019m Joe. I\u2019m so glad to se you Baker! I can\u2019t believe that you\u2019re truly alive!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBaker?\u201d said Baka. \u201cI thought \u2026. So that\u2019s how it\u2019s pronounced,\u201d he said, half to himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave him another puzzled look. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d he asked, but then turned to the older man without waiting for a reply. \u201cPa \u2026 can you believe it?\u201d he exclaimed. \u201cIt\u2019s really him!\u00a0 He\u2019s not dead!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2026. I\u2019m not dead,\u201d replied Baker, repeating the one thing he was certain of in all of this. He blinked a couple of times as the four men gathered around him, each of them smiling happily at him and slapping him on the back several times. He frowned as he tried to come to terms with it all. These Cartwrights obviously knew him \u2026 but he hadn\u2019t been expecting such an enthusiastic response to his arrival and they had quite taken him by surprise. The old fuzzy feeling in his head came back with a force that he hadn\u2019t felt for months and he put his hand to his forehead wearily as he tried to smile at their enthusiasm.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The older man with silver hair \u2026 the one that Joe had called Pa \u2026 noticed the gesture straight away and ushered him to a seat. \u201cEasy now boys,\u201d he said to the other three. \u201cGive the major time to breathe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker looked up at him as he sat down on the sofa. \u201cMajor?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The man smiled at him. \u201cYes,\u201d he said, giving him a puzzled look. \u201cIs there something wrong Major?\u00a0 You look \u2026 uneasy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker put his face in his hands as the dizzy feeling became stronger. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he murmured. \u201cIt\u2019s just \u2026.\u201d He was silent, unable to go on as the dizziness overcame him and his mind began to whirl with the possibilities that finally he had found a link to his past.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The silver-haired man sat down beside him and the other three clustered around with anxious looks on their faces. There was silence for a few minutes until Baker finally lifted his head and tried to smile at them. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said again. \u201cI get like this at times. The dizziness \u2026 it takes over.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe silver-haired man smiled at him. \u201cThat\u2019s alright,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019ve obviously had a difficult time of it.\u201d Baker felt him glance for a moment at the long scar down the side of his face with a pitying look and he wondered what they would say if they could see the rest of the scars on his body that weren\u2019t so visible. \u201cI think you should rest a while,\u201d the silver haired man continued.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa,\u201d said Joe, stepping forward. \u201cI want to ask \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The other man put up his hand. \u201cNo Joseph,\u201d he replied firmly. \u201cCan\u2019t you see that Major Baker is done in? We can save our questions for later.\u201d He stood up. \u201cAllow me to show you to the guest room Major.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker stood up, swaying unsteadily on his feet. \u201cI don\u2019t want to put you to any trouble Mr \u2026. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAs if it would be any trouble for a friend such a you,\u201d replied the other man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker felt a sudden rush of emotion as he realised that no one that he could ever remembered had called him a friend. Tears sprang to his eyes and he brushed them away impatiently. To be considered a friend by someone \u2026 even if he didn\u2019t yet know how or why \u2026 suddenly seemed too much for him to bear after all the years of wondering and he smiled back at them all. \u201cIt\u2019s good to be here,\u201d he said tentatively. \u201cHere among \u2026 friends.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s wonderful to have you back with us alive,\u201d said the silver-haired man. \u201cCome \u2026 let me show you to the guest room.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa,\u201d protested Joe for the fourth time in as many minutes. \u201cI don\u2019t understand why you wouldn\u2019t let me talk to him. He\u2019s been gone so long \u2026 aren\u2019t you curious about where he\u2019s been?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOf course I am Joe,\u201d replied his father. \u201cBut the man was obviously overwhelmed by seeing us again. I thought he was about to collapse on the spot. He looked exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI think it was more than that,\u201d mused Adam. \u201cDidn\u2019t you notice how uneasy he seemed to be?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d agreed Hoss. \u201cWhen I first saw him out in the yard .. well, it was looking at a ghost.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe ain\u2019t no ghost,\u201d snorted Joe. \u201cHe\u2019s Baker for sure and he\u2019s alive!\u201d He hugged himself around the waist and beamed at them all. \u201cI knew it!\u201d he said. \u201cSomething told me that Baker couldn\u2019t have been dead all these years. I just knew he\u2019d come back to me one day!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat I can\u2019t understand is why he never wrote in all these years,\u201d said Adam. \u201cHe suddenly disappears \u2026 presumed dead \u2026 and now he turns up without a word. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho cares?\u201d said Joe happily. \u201cHe\u2019s alive and that\u2019s all that counts.\u201d His expression sobered for a moment. \u201cI wonder how he got that scar,\u201d he mused. \u201cLooks as if he\u2019s been in some terrible fight.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019ll tell us all in time,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cWhen he\u2019s ready. In the meantime, the man needs rest.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u201cYeah,\u201d he said, grinning again. \u201cI\u2019m just happy to have him back.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker reached the bottom step and glanced around the room, noting the blazing fire and the warmth that emanated from it. He hadn\u2019t felt so at ease for \u2026. well, for as long as he could remember \u2026 and the warmth seemed to seep into his very bones.\u00a0 He took the letter from his pocket and studied it again, thinking how strange it was that the young man he\u2019d met earlier had once been the child who had written it. Many years had obviously passed since he\u2019d received it and he wondered yet again how the connection between himself and these people had been made. They had called him friend \u2026. How had he come to be their friend? How had \u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell you\u2019re looking better than you did before!\u201d Baker looked up to see the Cartwrights smiling at him from the dining room table. Strange that he hadn\u2019t even noticed them there. His mind must be wandering worse than he\u2019d thought.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker managed to smile. \u201cI feel better,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about that before.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo need to apologise,\u201d said the silver-haired man. \u201cPlease \u2026 come and join us.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you Mr \u2026. Cartwright,\u201d he replied, sitting down at the table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI thought you\u2019d learnt by now not to be so formal,\u201d the other man replied. \u201cIt\u2019s Ben \u2026 remember?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker took a deep breath. \u201cActually \u2026. No, I don\u2019t remember,\u201d he admitted. There was a stunned silence from the others, who stared at him \u2026. obviously not understanding. \u201cYou see,\u201d he continued. \u201cI don\u2019t remember anything to be honest.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d said Joe, leaning forward. \u201cWhat do ya mean, you don\u2019t remember anything? How \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d cautioned his father, laying a hand on top of his son\u2019s to silence him. \u201cLet the Major speak.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker looked at Ben. \u201cYou see \u2026 you call me Major Baker,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve been in the army then?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe opened his mouth in spite of his father\u2019s warning. \u201cWhat do ya mean \u2026 you\u2019ve been in the army?\u201d he asked incredulously. \u201cOf course you are. How can ya not know that?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph!\u201d said his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker\u2019s eyes met those of the young man opposite and he noted the disbelief and the anxiety within them. What ever his relationship with this youngster had been, it had been a close one for him to be so agitated at the thought that he hadn\u2019t been remembered. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Baker said. \u201cI suppose this all sounds very strange to you, but the truth is that I have no memory of my life before \u2026\u201d he touched the scar on his face. \u201c \u2026 before this happened.\u201d He looked around at them all. \u201cI came here to \u2026 well to see if you could help me.\u201d He held out the letter to Joe. \u201cDid you write this?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took the paper and read it. \u201cYou know that I did,\u201d he said. \u201cI sent it to you years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head ruefully. \u201cNo \u2026\u201d he replied. \u201cI don\u2019t know that you did. I don\u2019t know anything. Until you stared calling me Baker, I thought that my name was Baka \u2026 like in the letter.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLittle brother never was a good speller,\u201d said Hoss with a grin.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glared at his brother. \u201cI was only eight,\u201d he declared. \u201cI reckon it was \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBoys!\u201d interrupted their father. \u201cPlease! Go on Major.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker drew another breath. \u201cThis letter is the only link I have with my past,\u201d he said. \u201cFor the past five years I\u2019ve wondered who I am and where I came from \u2026\u201d He put a hand to his head again. \u201cI didn\u2019t know \u2026\u201d His voice trailed away and he sat looking at them helplessly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy did you wait five years before contacting us?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shot him a careful look. There was something about this particular man that worried him. It was almost as if he could see right through him and it made Baker feel uncomfortable. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he admitted. \u201cPerhaps I was wary \u2026 wary of finding out who I was. I didn\u2019t know \u2026 I didn\u2019t know what to expect.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen why didn\u2019t you contact the army?\u201d Adam persisted, giving Baker an intense look that made the other man look away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not \u2026 sure,\u201d Baker replied. \u201cI suppose I was worried \u2026\u201d He shrugged. \u201cThere were so many things that I could have been \u2026 that I could have done \u2026 in my past. I was anxious about what they might have been.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLike a deserter?\u201d asked Adam perceptively.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker avoided the man\u2019s stare. \u201cYes,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI thought of that. This \u2026\u201d He fingered the scar again. \u201cThis had me wondering.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell there\u2019s no need for you to wonder,\u201d interrupted Ben. \u201cYou were in no way a deserted Major. You were reported killed in action in Arizona five years ago. If anything, you were a hero.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker breathed a sigh of relief. \u201cI see,\u201d he said. \u201cSo I am still technically in the army then?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI suppose so,\u201d replied Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWas that where you got the scar?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker looked confused. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he said. \u201cThere\u2019s a lot that I just don\u2019t know.\u201d He massaged his temples as the familiar feeling came back to him. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said, standing up. \u201cBut I think I\u2019ll go and lie down again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe handed him back the letter. \u201cBut don\u2019t you want to know about us?\u201d he asked. \u201cYou and me?\u00a0 I want to tell you all about what happened and \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph \u2026. All in good time,\u201d interrupted his father. \u201cYou go and rest Major. You\u2019re welcome to stay here as long as you like.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d replied Baker and turned to go.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa!\u201d said Joe as soon as Baker had disappeared at the top of the staircase. \u201cI have to tell him about him and me. It might bring back his memory.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps,\u201d replied his father, still staring at the top of the staircase where Baker had been only a minute before. \u201cBut you\u2019re not going to force any memories on that man until he\u2019s ready to hear them Joe. Leave it be until he asks.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t believe me doesn\u2019t remember me,\u201d said Joe sadly. \u201cIt\u2019s so strange to think that he doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s even stranger for him,\u201d said Adam. \u201cIt must be a terrible thing to not know who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s been through hell,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou can see that just by looking at him. Boys, the best thing we can do for the Major is to give him time. Hopefully we\u2019ll be able to help him come to terms with his past in time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe will,\u201d said Joe confidently. \u201cWhen I get to tell him all about him and me, he\u2019ll remember. I know that he will.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up from the newspaper he was reading and smiled as Baker came down the stairs. \u201cSleep well?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded as he sat down. \u201cWonderfully,\u201d he said. \u201cI haven\u2019t slept that well in \u2026 well, for as long as I can remember. The air is so wonderful here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s the high altitude,\u201d said Ben. \u201cCoffee?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded as Ben picked up the coffeepot in front of him and began to pour two cups. \u201cThank you,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe boys have all left for the day,\u201d said Ben as he poured. \u201cJoe wanted to stay behind, but I thought it would be best for you to have some quiet space without being plagued with his questions yet.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker tried to smile. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said. \u201cI suppose this is all very strange for all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben handed him the cup of coffee. \u201cNo less strange than it is for you,\u201d he said. \u201cIt took a lot of courage for you to come here Major. The least we can do is to try and help you after all you\u2019ve done for Joseph over the years.\u201d He smiled as Baker lifted an eyebrow in response to his question. \u201cThere\u2019s plenty of time for all of that,\u201d Ben said. \u201cThe important thing right now is helping you. I have a good friend who is the doctor in these parts. I could ask him to come and see you if you would like me to.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head. \u201cThanks you Mr \u2026 I mean Ben,\u201d he replied. \u201cBut I can assure you that I\u2019ve seen many doctors over the last five years. There\u2019s nothing any of them can do for me. it appears that this \u2026 amnesia they call it \u2026 is something that not many people understand. They all seem to think that they only way I can be helped is to confront my past.\u201d He sighed and looked around the room. \u201cThat\u2019s why I came here. I thought that someone or something might help me to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd it hasn\u2019t?\u201d asked Ben, leaning forward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cNot yet anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGive it some more time,\u201d said Ben. \u201cI meant what I said last night Major. You are welcome to stay here as long as you wish to and hopefully something may help.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTell me about your son Joe,\u201d said Baker. \u201cWhy did I have his letter? What connection do I have with him?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put down his coffee cup and sat back in his chair. \u201cYou first met Joe many years ago when he was seven years old,\u201d he said. \u201cHe had run away form home \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTo visit his brother Adam in Boston?\u201d interrupted Baker. \u201cI gathered that from his letter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d Ben chuckled. \u201cAdam had gone back east to college in Boston. Joe had been missing him dreadfully and couldn\u2019t understand why I wouldn\u2019t take him to visit Adam. Well one day he just took it into that head of his to go by himself.\u201d\u00a0 His face sobered. \u201cHe lost his way in the first day and I \u2026 well I was certain that I\u2019d lost him forever.\u201d\u00a0 He drew a hand over his face, and Baker could see that even after all these years he was still affected by his young son\u2019s disappearance.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat must have been terrible for you,\u201d he sympathised.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at him. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. There was silence for a moment before he continued. \u201cJust as I was giving up hope of ever seeing him again, a message arrived from the army. You had found him during a scrub battle with some Paiutes and had taken him back to the fort.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI see,\u201d said Baker. \u201cSo he\u2019d been with the Indians \u2026 for how long?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA couple of months,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cYou were the one who actually found him and looked after him until I made it down there to pick him up. You and he had become very close in that time. In the weeks following, he talked non-stop about his Baker<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI see,\u201d mused Baker. \u201cAnd it was after that he sent me the letter.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cIt was one of many that you both exchanged over the years,\u201d he said. \u201cJoe has kept the rest of them. The army sent them to him when you died along with the rest of your things. It seems that you left them to him in your will.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker stared at Ben, thinking how strange it was to hear someone talk of his dying so casually. \u201cI had no family then?\u201d he asked. \u201cThere was no one else?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo one that we know of,\u201d said Ben. \u201cFive years ago you turned up here at the ranch and got to meet with Joe all over again.\u201d He smiled at Baker. \u201cYou saved his life.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker frowned. \u201cI did?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cYes. My impulsive son got himself captured by the Paiutes and you basically got him out of a very difficult situation. If it hadn\u2019t been for you Major, well I wouldn\u2019t have my boy with me now. As far as I\u2019m concerned, you\u2019ve given me back my son twice and I would do anything for you in return.\u201d He looked at Baker anxiously. \u201cDoes any of this help?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cPerhaps if I contact the army it will. There might be someone there who can \u2026 help me to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can organise to send them a wire if you like,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou were stationed at Fort Hopetoun and there may still be someone down there who remembers you. Besides, you really should let the army know that you\u2019re alive.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said in a vague voice. \u201cThat would be very helpful.\u201d His mind was whirl with all the information that Ben had given him. Buy why did none of it mean anything to him? Why hadn\u2019t any of it sounded familiar? He could only hope, as Ben had said, that time would bring back something familiar to his mind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa said that he told you bout how we met.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker turned to see Joe standing on the porch near the climbing rose in the large flowerpot. He eased back on the wooden bench on which he was sitting and nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe grinned at him and practically bounced across the porch to sit beside him. \u201cI\u2019m glad,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve been wanting to talk to you bout it all since you got here.\u201d His smile grew broader. \u201cWe had some great times together Baker,\u201d he added. \u201cHere \u2026\u201d he thrust a small wooden box towards the man. \u201cThese will help you to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker took the box. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAll the letters we sent to each other over the years,\u201d explained Joe. \u201cRead them. You\u2019ll remember it all once you have.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned at Baker happily, his eyes alight with the thought of it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d said Baker stiffly. This young man was obviously so happy that he was here, yet he couldn\u2019t help but feel uncomfortable about it. He felt that Joe was expecting so much from him that he just didn\u2019t feel and couldn\u2019t deliver. \u201cI\u2019ll take a look at them,\u201d he finished lamely, not knowing what else to say.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe leant forward eagerly. \u201cYou and me were really good friends,\u201d he said. \u201cWhen I was at the fort, you \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker held up a hand to silence the young man. \u201cI think I\u2019d better read the letters first,\u201d he said. \u201cThey might help to fill in the missing gaps.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d agreed Joe. \u201cBut I could tell you as well about \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d replied Baker politely. \u201cBut I\u2019ll just read the letters now if you don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked hurt. \u201cSure,\u201d he said. \u201cWhatever you want Baker.\u201d He stood up. \u201cLet me know if there\u2019s any questions I can answer for you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you. I will,\u201d replied Baker as he opened the box and took out one of the letters and began to read it. Joe stood for a moment in silence and then turned and walked away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThey didn\u2019t help at all?\u201d asked Ben at supper that night.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI hoped they would \u2026 but no \u2026. nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know what you\u2019ll remember,\u201d said Joe, jumping up with excitement showing in his eyes. \u201cI\u2019ll get them. Wait until you see these Baker!\u201d He ran up the stairs two at a time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll have to excuse Joe,\u201d explained Ben with a smile. \u201cHe\u2019s just so excited to see you again after thinking that you were dead all these years.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI understand,\u201d replied Baker, trying to sound as if he did. The young man was obviously trying so hard to help him to remember and he hated to observe the disappointment in his eyes each time he looked at him for a spark of recognition.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss went into town and sent that wire off to the army today,\u201d said Ben. \u201cPerhaps their answer might help in some way.\u201d\u00a0 He patted Baker on the shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m sure things will work out in the long run.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded and tried to smile again as Joe appeared at the top of the stairs and bounded down them two at a time until he reached the bottom four and then jumped them in one step.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph!\u201d said Ben, noticing Baker wince and hold his head at the noise. \u201cQuietly please son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry,\u201d said Joe. He thrust something into Baker\u2019s hands. \u201cHere,\u201d he said, grinning at the man. \u201cRemember these?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker looked at the objects in his hands and turned them over thoughtfully. \u201cNo,\u201d he said finally. \u201cWere they mine when I was in the army?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s face fell. \u201cNo,\u201d he said, studying Baker earnestly. \u201cDon\u2019t you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he replied. \u201cI\u2019m sorry \u2026. But I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took them back again and held them up so that his father and brothers could see them. \u201cYou gave me these army gloves and bandanna when I was in the fort with you,\u201d he said, looking at Baker. \u201cYou said that I could ride so well that I was just about ready to join up.\u201d He smiled hopefully at the man, but Baker looked at him blankly. \u201cIt was on the day that I wanted to try riding your horse,\u201d went on Joe. \u201cI think I was probably showing off a bit \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFancy that,\u201d said Adam with a grin.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smirked at his brother before continuing. \u201cYeah \u2026 well everyone clapped me and you gave me these,\u201d he finished. \u201cRemember how I used to wear em everywhere?\u00a0 I would take em off.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d said Baker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cRemember the Colonel,\u201d enthused Joe. \u201cI was a bit scared of him because he had such a bushy moustache and really big sideburns.\u201d He giggled at the memory. \u201cI told you that I didn\u2019t like him and he over heard me. Well, the next day he had shaved it all off!\u201d He laughed. \u201cI\u2019ll never forget the look on your face Baker!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll bet it was the same look he gave you when you peed on him,\u201d said Adam with a chuckle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked slightly embarrassed. \u201cI couldn\u2019t help it,\u201d he said with a grin. \u201cThere was this one time that \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker stood up. \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joe,\u201d he interrupted. \u201cI appreciate you trying in this way, but none of this means anything to me. I don\u2019t remember it.\u201d Joe\u2019s face fell as Baker turned to Ben. \u201cExcuse me,\u201d he said. \u201cI think I\u2019ll have an early night.\u201d He walked up the stairs and disappeared.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was silence for a few moments until Joe stood up as well, his face downcast. \u201cI think I\u2019ll go to bed early as well,\u201d he said abruptly. \u201cGood night.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was silence again in the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe drew in a sharp breath as he stood in the doorway of the guest room and looked at the scarred torso of the man standing in the middle of the room. Baker turned at the noise and gave him a rueful smile. \u201cHard to look at them if you\u2019re not used to it,\u201d he said, pulling a nightshirt over his head and hiding the scars.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d said Joe, trying not to look shocked. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to \u2026 I just came to see if you needed anything.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo thank you,\u201d said Baker. \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d\u00a0 He stood and waited. Joe hesitated before walking into the room and sat down a chair. \u201cI\u2019m tired,\u201d said Baker pointedly. \u201cI was thinking that I\u2019d try and get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t take the hint. \u201cI was hoping that we might be able to talk for a bit,\u201d he suggested.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker didn\u2019t move. \u201cI really am tired Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cPerhaps another time?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked slightly hurt. \u201cOf course,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d He hesitated. \u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight,\u201d replied Baker, already turning his back on the young man. Joe stood waiting for a moment and then left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned from the window to see his father standing in the doorway to his room. \u201cI thought you\u2019d be asleep by now,\u201d Ben said, walking in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u201cI couldn\u2019t sleep,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you alright son?\u201d asked Ben, coming to stand beside him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head and sighed. \u201cI went in to see Baker in his room,\u201d he said. \u201cJust to see if there was anything I could do for him \u2026 you know \u2026 if there was anything he needed.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe said no.\u201d Joe gave his father a sorrowful look. \u201cHe practically told me to leave,\u201d he said. \u201cI got the feeling that he didn\u2019t want me around him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cJoe you have to understand that he\u2019s been through a lot in these past few years,\u201d he said. \u201cMore than we\u2019ll probably ever know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know that,\u201d replied Joe. \u201cBut all I want to do is to help him, and he won\u2019t let me. When he first came I was so happy Pa. But now it\u2019s like … well, he\u2019s not my Baker anymore. He\u2019s not the same Baker that I knew. Do you know how hard it is to see him looking at me \u2026 the Baker that I remember \u2026 and yet not knowing who I am? He\u2019s just not my Baker.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled and rubbed the back of his son\u2019s neck. \u201cJoe \u2026 I know we have always referred to him as your Baker … but he\u2019s not really, you know. He doesn\u2019t belong to you like a horse son \u2026 He belongs to himself.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u201cI know that,\u201d he said. \u201cBut it\u2019s just that I want things to be like they were before Pa. I feel like he\u2019s a stranger.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe is a stranger to us all as far as he\u2019s concerned Joe,\u201d replied Ben. \u201cHe can\u2019t help that. Just give him time son \u2026 give him time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe reined in his horse and waited for Baker to catch up. He smiled at him as he did so and pointed ahead. \u201cWe\u2019ll stop here,\u201d he said. \u201cYou can get a really good look at the lake from here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s very beautiful,\u201d said Baker as he dismounted and stood looking at the scene before him. \u201cVery beautiful,\u201d he said, breathed in the fresh air and closed his eyes momentarily. \u201cThis is a wonderful to live Joe. Thank you for showing me around The Ponderosa today.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMy pleasure,\u201d said Joe. \u201cI\u2019m glad that you\u2019re feeling better.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt must be this fresh air,\u201d replied Baker, smiling at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe returned the smile with a broad one of his own and indicated a rock next to them. \u201cWe can sit here for a bit if you like,\u201d he said, sitting down. Baker sat down next to him and stared at the below lake down below them. \u201cDo you remember any of this?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker looked at him. \u201cI\u2019ve been here before?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u201cYeah. I brought you up here five years ago when you first came to visit,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t remember it. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged, trying not to let his disappointment show. \u201cDo you mind if I ask you something?\u201d he said.\u00a0 Baker shook his head. \u201cHow did you get \u2026 the scars?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cWas it at the time that they thought you\u2019d been killed?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n This time it was Baker\u2019s turn to shrug. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI suppose so. The first thing that I remember is waking up in the mission in New Mexico.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou were supposedly killed in Arizona fighting Apaches,\u201d said Joe. \u201cHow did you end up in New Mexico?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker picked up a small pebble and threw it down the hillside. They both listened to it making its way down the slope before he answered. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he said. \u201cThere is so much that I just don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed. \u201cI suppose you\u2019ve worked out by now that we\u2019ve been kinda close,\u201d he said, plucking at the long grass by his feet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded. \u201cSo your father told me,\u201d he replied. \u201cWe go quite a long way back apparently.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhen I was a kid and you looked after me,\u201d ventured Joe. \u201cI really \u2026 well I really got to love you then Baker.\u201d\u00a0 Baker shifted uncomfortable on the rock, wishing that the young man would stop talking. He didn\u2019t want to know about how Joe felt \u2026 it just seemed so strange to have someone he didn\u2019t even know talking to him like this. \u201cI was so pleased when you came to visit five years ago,\u201d continued Joe. \u201cYou basically saved my life then.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo your father said,\u201d replied Baker, avoiding Joe\u2019s intense gaze by staring at the lake.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll do anything I can to help you,\u201d continued Joe earnestly. \u201cAnything at all. I really want you to get your memory back.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker finally turned to face Joe. \u201cThank you Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cNo one wants me to get my memory back more than I do, but one thing I know for sure is that I can\u2019t force it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know that,\u201d replied Joe. \u201cBut I just keep thinking how great it will be when you do remember Baker. We can talk about \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd what if I don\u2019t?\u201d interrupted the other man. \u201cWhat then?\u00a0 Look Joe, I understand that you want me to be whatever it was that I was to you before, but at the moment I just can\u2019t be that man. Who knows \u2026 perhaps I never will?\u201d\u00a0 He stood up and looked down at Joe. \u201cPlease don\u2019t expect me to feel anything for you. The truth is that I don\u2019t \u2026 and I can\u2019t. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 He turned and walked back to his horse again and mounted up. \u201cThank you for showing me the ranch,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll see you back at the house.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe waited until the other man had left before he allowed himself the luxury of putting his face in his hands and giving way to his feeling of loss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure?\u201d said Ben, looking at Baker anxiously. \u201cAre you up to it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he replied. \u201cI\u2019m grateful to you for allowing me to stay this long, but this wire from the army means that I should get down to Fort Hopetoun as soon as possible and meet this \u2026\u201d he studied the wire again. \u201cColonel Chadwick. If he remembers me as he says, then he might really be able to help me gain my memory.\u201d\u00a0 He looked around the room dolefully. \u201cNothing here has helped me as I thought it might, I can only hope that down there it will be different.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll be sorry to se you go,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d replied Baker standing up. \u201cBut I must. I\u2019ll leave in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe will be devastated when he hears that you\u2019re leaving,\u201d Ben persisted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shrugged. \u201c I\u2019m sorry, but that can\u2019t be helped.\u201d There was an awkward silence between them and then he added. \u201cI can\u2019t be something I\u2019m not to him. Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight,\u201d said Ben, staring after the man as he walked up the stairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe knocked tentatively on the bedroom door and waited until he heard a voice from inside telling him to come in. He opened the door and glanced into the room, thinking how strange it was that he should be so unsure of himself around Baker. It was so hard to look into the face that he knew so well and loved so much only to have Baker stare back at him blankly. Every time it happened he felt like shaking the man, in spite of the fact that he knew that it just wasn\u2019t his fault. \u201cI\u2019m sorry to disturb you,\u201d he said. \u201cBut Pa told me that you are leaving in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d said Baker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The silence hung between them in the air and was so thick that Joe felt that he could reach out and grab hold of it. How had things come to this? How was it that they had become such strangers? He held out a brown paper wrapped parcel towards the other man. \u201cThese are yours,\u201d he said. \u201cYou should have them before you go.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker took the parcel. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged. \u201cYour things. When you died \u2026 I mean, when they thought that you had died \u2026. You left them to me. I\u2019ve kept them for the past few years to remember you by, but they really belong to you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker opened the parcel and stared down at the razor, the pocket watch and the bundle of letters tied up with a piece of hide, which he\u2019d already read.\u00a0 \u201cIs this it?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d said Joe. \u201cThat was all they sent me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker shook his head, the futility of life suddenly swamping him. \u201cMy whole life and this is all I had,\u201d he said bitterly. \u201cSome success I made of things!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe bit his lip, thinking how unlike Baker the remark was. \u201cYou were a success in things that mattered,\u201d he said defensively. \u201cYou were a great friend to me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo offence Joe, but that just doesn\u2019t mean a lot to me right about now,\u201d Baker replied, fingering the watch in his hands. \u201cYou\u2019re a god kid, but \u2026\u201d his voice trailed away and he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what else to say.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took a step forward. \u201cBaker we can get to know each other all over again. The past might be gone, but we still have the future. If you\u2019d only stay for a while longer \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d said Baker. \u201cI have to go.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou won\u2019t stay? Not even for me?\u201d Joe looked at the other man pleadingly. \u201cPlease? We can get our friendship back again Baker \u2026 I know we can. If only you\u2019d try!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d said Baker firmly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut \u2026\u201d Joe bit his lip, trying to find the words to get through to the man. \u201cBut Baker, I \u2026 I really want \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker turned to face him. \u201cThis isn\u2019t about you Joe, it\u2019s about me,\u201d he said tersely. \u201cYou don\u2019t get it do you? I need to concentrate on getting my life back at the moment and I don\u2019t have the time or energy to worry about you and what you want. I don\u2019t remember you Joe and I doubt that I ever will. All you are to me is a nice kid who apparently I once knew. I\u2019m leaving tomorrow and as far as I\u2019m concerned I\u2019m not leaving anything behind me that matters much. I\u2019m sorry if that hurts you, but that\u2019s just the way that it is.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed as Baker\u2019s words hit him \u2026 each one like a bullet straight in the chest. \u201cI see,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry then. I thought \u2026\u201d he hung his head. \u201cNever mind what I thought\u2026 I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker nodded as he untied the leather thong that tied up the letters and threw it on the ground as he started to undo the first one to read it again. Joe stared at the small piece of leather on the floor and the memory of a young boy with matted hair at once sprung to his mind. He felt once more the hands of the young soldier who had smiled down at him as he brushed Joe\u2019s unruly curls back from his forehead and tucked them under the thong, and his heart lurched for the man that he\u2019d known and was now lost to him. He bent down and picked it up. \u201cDo you mind if I keep this?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker looked up absently. \u201cWhat? Oh that old thing? No \u2026 take it \u2026 it\u2019s yours,\u201d he said dismissively. Joe nodded slightly as he clutched the leather thong tightly in his fist and then walked out of the room with his head bent.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Baker hesitated as he reached the bottom stair and stood with his hand on the banister as he looked at the four Cartwrights who were in the living room. \u201cWell I suppose this is goodbye,\u201d he said, holding his hand out to Ben. \u201cThank you for everything Ben. I really appreciate what you\u2019ve all tried to do for me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook the man\u2019s hand warmly. \u201cOur home is your home,\u201d he said. \u201cAny time you want Major.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d replied Baker. \u201cAdam \u2026. Hoss,\u201d he reached out shook both their hands and then turned to Joe. \u201cJoe,\u201d he said, holding out his hand to the young man. \u201cI\u2019m sorry that it didn\u2019t work out as you would have liked it to.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared at the outstretched hand, wanting more than anything to ignore and give Baker a hug instead. But instead he simply took the other man\u2019s hand and shook it. \u201cI thought I\u2019d ride into town with you and see you off on the stage,\u201d he said as Baker withdrew his hand and picked up his bag.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not necessary,\u201d said Baker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d replied Joe. \u201cBut I\u2019d like to.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d said Baker, beginning to walk towards the door. \u201cThank you anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stepped forward. \u201cBaker \u2026.\u201d He began.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGoodbye,\u201d said Baker firmly. \u201cNice to have met you all.\u201d He walked over, opened the front door and walked outside to his horse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe followed him, standing on the porch and staring after him wistfully as Baker turned in the saddle and waved. He leant against the pole on which trailed the rose that climbed up onto the roof and stared into the distance as the sound of Baker\u2019s horse\u2019s hooves gradually diminished until they could be heard no more.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben came and stood next to his son, putting his hand on the back of Joe\u2019s neck and rubbing it gently. \u201cIt\u2019s for the best Joe,\u201d he said quietly. \u201cHe has to go and find his own life.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded, still staring into the distance. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. He glanced at his father. \u201cI think I\u2019ll go for a ride,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t be long,\u201d Ben called after him as Joe walked away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss came to stand next to their father as they all watched Joe ride away.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s taking it hard,\u201d observed Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said thoughtfully. \u201cHe felt like he\u2019d got Baker back and now he\u2019s coming to the realisation that he didn\u2019t … that he probably never will. That\u2019s a heard thing to come to terms with.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben dismounted from his horse and stood looking at his youngest son for a moment before walking over to him. \u201cI thought I might find you here,\u201d he said, sitting down next to him and looking out over the lake.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave his father a small smile as he plucked at a tuft of grass next to his feet. \u201cI just needed some time alone to think,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cI understand Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cBut it\u2019s getting late. Time to come home now son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sighed as he wrapped his arms around his drawn-up knees and placed his chin on top of them. \u201cI\u2019m really going to miss him Pa,\u201d he said softly. \u201cStupid really, because he\u2019s been gone all these years \u2026. But having got him back so suddenly I was hoping \u2026\u201d he sighed again. \u201cI\u2019m just really going to miss him that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d said Ben, putting his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to miss him so much, but he didn\u2019t even seem to care,\u201d continued Joe, gazing at the water in front of him. \u201cDo you think he\u2019ll ever remember me Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t know son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell if he does, then I hope he\u2019ll come back to see me one day,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd in the meantime son, all we can hope for is that he will live his life the best way he knows how. Whether you are a part of his future or not son, you have to understand that. Just because we feel a certain way about someone doesn\u2019t mean that they\u2019re always going to feel the same way about us Joe. Sometimes we have to learn to let go those that we truly love,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes momentarily. \u201cYes,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou have the memories of him,\u201d continued his father. \u201cWhen we have memories of someone, we never really lose them you know.\u201d\u00a0 Ben got a faraway look in his eyes as he glanced at Marie\u2019s grave next to them and he thought about a moment about the beautiful woman who was the mother of this young man beside him. \u201cTreasure the memory of Baker, Joe \u2026 Its his legacy to you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave his father a small smile. \u201cI hope he\u2019ll be happy \u2026 whatever happens to him,\u201d he said. He sat up straight and fingered the leather thong in his hand, and his father looked at it curiously.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNothing,\u201d replied Joe, looking down at it. \u201cJust a scrap I found \u2026 nothing important.\u201d He smiled at his father. \u201cI guess we should go home now then?\u201d he said and Ben nodded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Father and son stood up together and walked back towards their horses. Joe put the leather thong into his shirt pocket, next to his heart for safekeeping.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n Next Story in the Baker’s Brat Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nBaker’s Dozen<\/a>
\nBaker’s Legacy<\/a>
\nBaker’s Destiny<\/a><\/p>\n