Summary:\u00a0 Adam falls in love with an intelligent but sassy woman. Will he be able to face her ultimate challenge? Rated K+\u00a0 (21,070 word)<\/p>\n
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Story Notes:<\/strong> This is the first fanfic I ever wrote – years ago – and thought was lost. I found it and thought it would be fun to add to the Library.<\/em><\/p>\n Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Choices<\/strong><\/p>\n CHAPTER ONE<\/p>\n Frankly, Adam was a little bored. The day was hot and the air inside the church was stifling. It\u2019s not that he wasn\u2019t happy about Jim\u2019s getting married – he and Jim had been friends for as long as he could remember. And Kathleen, the bride-to-be, was an attractive, witty, and a very loving lady. Adam knew they were a perfect match and also was aware that Jim had finally found true happiness. But standing at Jim\u2019s side as \u201cbest man\u201d and waiting for the ceremony to start was beginning to make Adam as nervous as Jim was.<\/p>\n Sweat trickled down Jim\u2019s neck and disappeared into the collar of his suit coat. Adam\u2019s neck began to itch and chafe. To make matters a little more complicated, Kathleen\u2019s best friend\/maid-of-honor had not arrived the day before to go through the rehearsal. Would she be here today? Is that what was taking so long?<\/p>\n At last, the strains of the Prelude changed into \u201cOde to Joy,\u201d the cue that Adam knew was to herald the arrival of the maid-of-honor. Good, she must be here, though she had not had a chance to practice – and anything could happen. He looked toward the doors of the church but nobody was coming down the aisle. He took a deep breath and hoped for the best. And then he saw her.<\/p>\n He forgot about the heat, the sweat, the nervousness. It wasn\u2019t that she was a raving beauty, but she had a distinct \u201cpresence\u201d that immediately captivated him. She was tall and slender and carried herself with poise and grace. Her blond hair looked like spun gold and, even from where he was standing, he could see the sparkle in her green eyes. Her smile lit up the room. He couldn\u2019t take his eyes off her the whole time she slowly and confidently walked down the aisle.<\/p>\n He felt slightly dizzy and was confused by the feeling. It must be the heat. She took her place several steps to the left of Jim, smiled at him, and then gave him a wink. She never even looked at Adam, and he found that he was slightly disappointed.<\/p>\n On cue, at the beginning of the Wedding March, she turned sideways to watch Kathleen walk down the aisle holding tightly to the arm of her father. Most of the ceremony after that went by in a blur, but Adam couldn\u2019t take his eyes off the lady, known to him only as \u201cMaureen.\u201d<\/p>\n It was now time for the exchange of two rings, something that Adam had never seen done in Virginia City. Most men didn\u2019t wear wedding rings, but this was the exception to the rule. Adam, at the appropriate time, handed Kathleen\u2019s ring to the preacher. The preacher turned to Maureen who, with her most innocent look, said, \u201cI lost it.\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen\u2019s face paled as she hissed, \u201cI\u2019ll kill ya!\u201d<\/p>\n There was just the hint of a smile as Maureen handed the ring to the preacher.<\/p>\n \u201cJust kidding,\u201d she whispered impishly.<\/p>\n Adam wanted to laugh out loud at both ladies\u2019 faces, but he ducked his head and coughed instead. Soon the ceremony was over, and Maureen was taking Adam\u2019s arm to walk out of the church.<\/p>\n His mind was reeling and all he could think about were those green, sparkly eyes. Outside the church, she looked directly into his eyes and flashed him a happy smile.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Adam. My name is Maureen.\u201d<\/p>\n What did she say? Was she talking to me?<\/em> The only thing Adam could think of to say was, \u201cI\u2019m glad you got here in time for the wedding.\u201d What a stupid thing to say. What did I say that for?<\/em><\/p>\n Maureen continued to smile, let go of his arm, and ran to Kathleen, embracing her best friend in a huge hug. Their genuine love for each other was obvious. Jim got a kiss on both cheeks and blushed a deep red.<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWO<\/p>\n The reception was to be held at the Ponderosa, and people were hurriedly getting into buggies and carriages, and Adam could find no time to talk to Maureen. He had never been tongue-tied in talking with a lady before and he felt the urge to redeem himself. But the opportunity didn\u2019t present itself until everyone had arrived at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n The house was beautifully decorated, both inside and outside; Hop Sing had made a three-tiered cake, and Kathleen clapped her hands in delight when she saw it. There was music, of course, and champagne, plus canap\u00e9s and cookies and punch. Much to Adam\u2019s chagrin, Kathleen and Jim (and Kathleen\u2019s father, \u201cBig Jake\u201d) were introducing Maureen to everybody. There were those green eyes and big smile as she shook hands with every new person. But she had not yet been introduced to the Cartwrights.<\/p>\n Adam thought this was a severe breach of etiquette but said nothing as he stood with his father and brothers, watching the whirlwind of happiness. At last, Kathleen, Jim, and Maureen walked up to them.<\/p>\n \u201cWe were saving the best and most important until last,\u201d said a breathless Kathleen.<\/p>\n Before the new bride could say another word, Maureen spoke, looking directly at Ben: \u201cYou don\u2019t have to tell me who is who. I\u2019ve heard so much about the Cartwrights that I could identify them in the dark!\u201d She took Ben\u2019s hand in both of hers. \u201cI\u2019m Maureen, Mr. Cartwright. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done to make this reception so memorable.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben returned her smile and said, in his deep voice, \u201cKathleen is a very special young lady and so she deserves something special.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen turned and looked at the Cartwright brothers. \u201cYou\u2019re Hoss,\u201d she said as she took one of his enormous hands into her own. \u201cStronger than six-up and gentler than a butterfly.\u201d<\/p>\n His answer was a shy, \u201cYes\u2019m.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam thought to himself that Hoss appeared tongue-tied also.<\/p>\n Releasing Hoss\u2019s hand and taking Joe\u2019s, Maureen flashed another smile. \u201cYou\u2019re Little Joe. \u201cThough,\u201d and she looked at him appraisingly,\u201d I think they should drop the \u2018Little\u2019 and just stick to \u2018Joe\u2019.\u201d She winked at him and then turned to Adam. \u201cI\u2019ve already met you, Adam. You\u2019re the guitar-playing singer of the family. I play a little guitar myself, and I hope that maybe we can find time to play some duets.\u201d<\/p>\n She was still holding his hand in both of hers, and he got lost in her eyes. \u201cYou\u2019ve done your homework well, Maureen. Welcome to the Ponderosa.\u201d There. I actually found my voice. But what I said sounded so trite.<\/em><\/p>\n Maureen was still holding Adam\u2019s hand when Big Jake grabbed her arm, forcing her to let go of Adam and to follow him to the cake table. But, even as she was being pulled away, her eyes continued to lock onto Adam\u2019s.<\/p>\n A shiver ran down his spine, a good shiver that left him confused again. Jim and Kathleen cut the cake and listened as Adam raised his glass of champagne and toasted the new couple. Ben gave a signal, and the music started. Jim and Kathleen danced the first waltz to great applause. Time now for the others to dance.<\/em><\/p>\n Adam approached Maureen and reached out his hand. \u201cTime for the best man and the maid-of-honor to dance.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen flashed him another dazzling smile and took his hand as they walked toward the other dancers. He reached to put his hand around her waist and found her immediately in his arms and, as they executed a perfect waltz, he was amazed at how wonderfully she followed him, how natural she felt as they whirled. He felt like he was dancing on air, felt another shiver and reveled in it. No, she was no raving beauty, but she was damn close to it!<\/em><\/p>\n When the dance ended, he didn\u2019t want to let her go but already Big Jake was there waiting to sweep her away. After Big Jake\u2019s dance with her came a long line of single men, so Adam\u2019s chance didn\u2019t come again for quite a while.<\/p>\n Am I jealous? I just met this girl today! Get a grip, man. Control yourself<\/em>. To be on the safe side (and so he didn\u2019t have to watch her with the other men) he turned his back and filled his champagne glass. When he finally did turn around, he looked directly into Maureen\u2019s eyes. She made a face and rolled her eyes helplessly as her partner jumped around the floor, dragging her with him. She obviously needed help. The next thing to happen was that Adam had tapped the guy on the arm, pulled Maureen into his own arms, and was again propelling her expertly around the floor. He smiled down at her.<\/p>\n Even though she was tall, she was still several inches shorter than he, so she had to look up at him when she said, \u201cWell, I declare, Adam. You can smile. In fact, it\u2019s a very handsome smile and something you should do more often.\u201d<\/p>\n And then he found he couldn\u2019t stop smiling. Nor did he want to stop.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, my gallant knight, for rescuing me. I don\u2019t think I could\u2019ve danced with that man for one more second,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s answer, still with a smile, was, \u201cYou looked like a damsel in distress. Could I have resisted?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen threw back her head and laughed, and it was then that Adam knew he was smitten.<\/p>\n CHAPTER THREE<\/p>\n The party was finally over, the guests left, and only Jim and Kathleen, Big Jake and Maureen, and the Cartwrights were left to wave goodbye. While Kathleen and Maureen talked and giggled with each other, Big Jim and Ben went off to speak privately. They looked like two bad little boys plotting. Which was exactly what they were doing.<\/p>\n Adam, Hoss, and LJ were also casting knowing sidelong glances at each other. Ben and Big Jake approached, and Big Jake spoke first looking at the newlywed couple.<\/p>\n \u201cYou two are going to honeymoon in San Francisco. Right?\u201d<\/p>\n There were nods from Jim and Kathleen.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you aren\u2019t leaving until tomorrow when the stage comes in at noon?\u201d<\/p>\n More nods ensued.<\/p>\n Ben coughed. \u201cWell, the point is this. We think you two should go back to Jim\u2019s, finish packing, and have some time\u2026er\u2026..alone. Without Big Jake and Maureen there.\u201d<\/p>\n There was an embarrassed silence.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, I have invited Big Jake and Maureen to stay here at the Ponderosa with us tonight. We\u2019ll be at the stage tomorrow to see you before you leave, and then Big Jake and Maureen can stay at your place until you come back.\u201d<\/p>\n Another pause as Ben looked at Big Jake for affirmation. Maureen and Kathleen both clapped their hands in delight at this prospect. Jim just grinned. Kathleen thought a moment.<\/p>\n \u201cBut, if Maureen stays at our place with Big Jake, all alone\u2026\u201d Her voice trailed off. \u201cWell, you know how people gossip.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen stamped her foot. \u201cThey can all go jump off a bridge, Kathleen! In my life, have you ever known me to care what people say?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at those green eyes and felt a grin beginning to creep across his face. She doesn\u2019t mince words, does she? <\/em>He liked that. Big Jake laughed out loud.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019ll be wonderful for my reputation! It\u2019s been years since I\u2019ve been gossiped about!\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen batted at him playfully, and he jumped out of her reach, still laughing.<\/p>\n \u201cThen it\u2019s settled,\u201d smiled Ben. \u201cNow Jim, you take Kathleen home and we\u2019ll see you tomorrow before the stage leaves.\u201d<\/p>\n Hugs and kisses ensued, and the young couple drove away in their buggy<\/p>\n CHAPTER. FOUR<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing!\u201d shouted Ben. \u201cWe could use some coffee!\u201d<\/p>\n And now the group moved into the house and toward the sofa and chairs.<\/p>\n Maureen, looking at Big Jake with barely controllable laughter, scolded. \u201cYou old goat! Your \u2018reputation\u2019 indeed! There ain\u2019t no harm in ya!\u201d<\/p>\n The response was, \u201cYeah, but it sure will give some of those old biddies a chance to start clucking!\u201d<\/p>\n They were still laughing when Hop Sing served the coffee. Adam, who had kept his eyes on Maureen practically all day, noticed that she winced when she sat down. This was not the first wince he had noticed during the long day but he had not said anything before now.<\/p>\n \u201cMaureen,\u201d he began, \u201cyou have a pained expression. What\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n All eyes now were on Maureen and she felt distinctly uncomfortable at being watched. She plopped onto the sofa and chewed the inside of her cheek gently as she thought of how to answer.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I think I turned my ankle earlier. It\u2019s just a little sore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, let\u2019s have a look at it,\u201d demanded Adam.<\/p>\n Hesitating for a moment, Maureen pulled her skirt up to her knee – displaying an enormous black and purple bruise that extended from her toes to well above her right ankle. Ben and Big Jake almost bumped heads when they bent to examine the huge swelling and dark bruising.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen did you do this?\u201d asked Ben. Maureen made a wry face and half-laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cRight before the ceremony. I tripped going up the stairs into the church.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes popped open. \u201cYou tripped going up the stairs? Not down the stairs but up them?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a natural klutz. I never do things in a normal way. That\u2019s one of the reasons the ceremony started late.\u201d Maureen smiled ruefully. \u201cThe reason that I missed the rehearsal was because I missed the stagecoach: I got on the wrong one.\u201d This admission elicited smiles, but only temporarily.<\/p>\n Big Jake admitted to seeing her trip and half-fall, but she had denied any pain and had just laughed it off when he asked if she had been hurt. He felt truly awful for being so distracted with Kathleen and with getting the ceremony started in a fairly timely fashion that he had failed to be more considerate of Maureen. Ben put a pillow on the table and instructed Maureen to rest her foot on its softness.<\/p>\n \u201cIt looks like it could be broken,\u201d he remarked and reached to touch it.<\/p>\n In a flash, Maureen had grabbed his hand. An explosive \u201cdon\u2019t\u201d and Ben withdrew his hand quickly. Maureen\u2019s eyes had turned a sea-foam green, and she had a trance-like expression on her face.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss knows what to do,\u201d she stated quietly, never taking her eyes from Hoss\u2019s face.<\/p>\n Now all eyes were on Hoss, who was still blushing at having to stare at Maureen\u2019s bare leg. She stated again, \u201cHoss knows what to do.\u201d Seeing the big man\u2019s discomfort, she said quietly, \u201cHoss, pretend that my leg belongs to an injured horse. Forget that it\u2019s a human leg. And do what you\u2019re thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n Indeed, Hoss had been thinking about what he would do if he were working with an injured horse, but he didn\u2019t understand how she could have known this. He took a deep breath and reached for her ankle, expecting her to shout at him as she had done with Ben. Not a word from her as he took her leg and ankle in his big hands and began to probe for broken bones. Maureen stiffened but said not a word.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s broke, Pa,\u201d assessed Hoss. But I think she needs some very cold water, then liniment and some kind of bandage to support her ankle.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe went to the well for cold water; Hoss went to the barn for the liniment; Adam, Ben, and Big Jake sat quietly. Adam, who had been leaning against the stones of the fireplace, approached her and broke the silence.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t say anything about it during the ceremony, you didn\u2019t say anything about it during the dancing, you didn\u2019t say anything about it until now. Why wait so long?\u201d His voice was almost accusatory.<\/p>\n She shrugged. \u201cI didn\u2019t want Kathleen to worry. This was her big day. Why spoil it?\u201d<\/p>\n In came Hoss with the liniment; Joe came in with several cold towels. But Maureen would allow only Hoss to apply anything to her ankle. As if in a trance himself, Hoss gently wrapped the bruises with the towels, keeping a watch on Maureen\u2019s face to see if he was hurting her. Her face remained impassive, but her fingers dug into the arm of the sofa. Adam, who had moved to sit closer to her, slipped his hand into hers. He felt the pressure of her hand in his – strong and tight – but still her face remained impassive and she never looked at him. After several cold compresses, Hoss applied the liniment as gently as he could. When his fingers touched her skin, Adam heard her sharp intake of breath and felt her fingers close around his hand with such strength that she actually was hurting his hand. Hoss was muttering, more to himself than to anyone else,<\/p>\n \u201cJust a little. Don\u2019t wanna burn the skin.\u201d He rubbed gently until he was satisfied that he had done the best he could. Then he sat back. \u201cWe need some bandages now.\u201d<\/p>\n Without hesitation, Maureen released Adam\u2019s hand, lifted her skirt to show her petticoats, and began tearing uniform strips from the undergarment.<\/p>\n Big Jake went apoplectic. \u201cGirl, there\u2019s no need at showing any more leg to a roomful of men!\u201d<\/p>\n A smile tugged at her lips. \u201cFor Heaven\u2019s sake, Jake! If these men haven\u2019t seen a woman\u2019s legs by now, there\u2019s no hope for any of them! Besides, legs are legs. We all have them, you know!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stifled a grin. This was one feisty gal<\/em>!<\/p>\n Maureen handed Hoss the strips of her petticoat and he began the process of making a figure eight around her ankle and a little above where the bruise ended.<\/p>\n He sat back on his heels and viewed his handiwork. \u201cThat oughtta do it.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen and Hoss surveyed the finished results. \u201cGood job, Hoss,\u201d commented Maureen.<\/p>\n Hoss blushed. \u201cAw. Cold water, liniment, and a good bandage can work wonders.\u201d<\/p>\n With this, everybody laughed out loud. Big Jake, still embarrassed about having to look at her bare leg, pulled the dress back down. \u201cHow did you manage to get through the day in those shoes?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen snorted. \u201cI didn\u2019t wear shoes. And nobody noticed. Who would be looking at my feet, for Heaven\u2019s sake?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou spent the whole day barefoot?\u201d roared Big Jake. \u201cWhere are your shoes?\u201d<\/p>\n She pursed her mouth guiltily. \u201cUnder the stairs at the church.\u201d She looked like a bad little child.<\/p>\n The tension completely broken, and with Big Jake rolling his eyes skyward, the room was filled with the sound of uncontrolled laughter. Maureen sneaked a peak at Adam, and he noticed that her eyes were now the deep green that they had originally been. He wanted to reach out and give her a hug but, instead, he got up and took up his place leaning against the fireplace. What a strange woman she is.<\/em><\/p>\n They all sat around and drank coffee, discussing the day\u2019s events, reliving the joy that was Jim\u2019s and Kathleen\u2019s. But it was getting late, and soon Adam noticed that Maureen was stifling a yawn. She was the one who finally announced that she just had to get some sleep. She stood up and took a step on her bandaged foot and smiled once again at Hoss. \u201cGood job. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n Without limping, she walked over to Ben and kissed him lightly on the cheek and thanked him for letting her stay the night. She turned and did the same to Big Jake who gave her a big hug. Waving at the rest of the group, she politely said her \u201cgood nights.\u201d<\/p>\n Big Jake was the first to realize that their luggage was at the newlyweds\u2019 house. Without thinking, he wondered aloud what they were going to sleep in.<\/p>\n Maureen\u2019s eyes danced and sparkled as she crossed the floor to the room that had been designated as hers. \u201cI don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m sleeping in what God gave me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaureen!\u201d roared Big Jake. \u201cIs there no end to what you\u2019ll say?\u201d<\/p>\n She stuck her tongue out at him then ducked as he threw an unused bandage strip at her. \u201cSee you in the morning!\u201d The door closed softly.<\/p>\n CHAPTER FIVE<\/p>\n Big Jake was shaking his head. \u201cThat girl could try the patience of a saint! She never censors anything that comes out of her mouth. She says what she means and means what she says. She does what she wants. I am constantly apologizing for her or trying to reprimand her. But she\u2019s a love, she\u2019s all heart. There is nothing fake about her.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe asked the question that had crossed everybody\u2019s mind at one time: \u201cI\u2019ve never heard Kathleen say much about her. Where does she come from? Why have we never heard much about her?\u201d<\/p>\n Big Jake was thoughtful and quiet for some time. \u201cI would like to tell you about Maureen, but I don\u2019t know if she would approve. She\u2019s a very private person and has sworn Kathleen to say very little about her past. Kathleen has always honored that request.\u201d He took a sip of coffee. \u201cBut I think you will understand her better if you know of her background.\u201d He propped his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. \u201cMaureen has no idea who her parents are. She was found on the front porch of a Catholic church one day when she was a little over a year old. She was sent to a Catholic-run orphanage shortly thereafter and was raised by nuns there. They found they couldn\u2019t handle her; even then she had a mind of her own, and the church discipline only made things worse. From there she was sent to one foster home after another. She was not the kind of child who could be tamed and consequently she endured being slapped around or generally mistreated emotionally. Her only friends, she has said many times, were the animals that were around: dogs, cats, pigs, horses, cows\u2026\u201d He paused and, seeing that he was comfortable saying more, he continued. \u201cWhen she was about sixteen, she just up and left whatever institution she was in. She worked at almost any job she could in order to make a little money to keep herself fed and clothed. The one thing she wanted to be was a \u2018lady\u2019, to have \u2018class\u2019 and to be admired and respected. She read books to open her mind, she learned to play the guitar to open her life to music, she kept up with the latest fashions and made her own clothes to coincide with what was \u2018new\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben interrupted. \u201cWhen did she meet Kathleen?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it was while my daughter was back East. Kathleen had a severe case of pneumonia, and Maureen was working as a nurse\u2019s aide. Apparently, Maureen thought that Kathleen was not getting the treatment she needed, and I don\u2019t think she was getting it either. I think the doctor would\u2019ve let my daughter die believing that she was too far gone. I was sitting with Kathleen, holding her hand and listening to her straining for each breath, when Maureen fairly flew in the room, took one look, and sat Kathleen up in bed and began pounding on her back. I tried to stop her, but she practically knocked me against the wall. And soon my daughter began coughing up horrible things, and then her breathing suddenly became less labored. As a father, I didn\u2019t know whether to hug Maureen or to slap her! Then, she explained to me, in the most gentle of voices, that the pounding on Kathleen\u2019s back was not painful but did loosen all the phlegm in the lungs and caused it to be expelled – thus improving her breathing. From that day on, Maureen was around as much as I was, which was more than I can say for the doctors and the nurses. The two girls became friends immediately, and I owe my daughter\u2019s life to Maureen. When Kathleen was released from the hospital, I made sure that Maureen accompanied her. She didn\u2019t want to be paid but I saw to it that there was always enough money for them both to live on. When I knew all was well, I came back to my ranch to tend to things here. Jim, on a business trip, went to visit Kathleen several months later, and it seemed to be love at first sight. But, then, Maureen had said\u2026\u201d He halted here, wondering how far he could take this story. He decided to finish what he had started. \u201cMaureen has a \u2018gift\u2019 \u2013 I can\u2019t explain it except to say that sometimes she knows what people are thinking. Sometimes she can see what lies ahead. She told me that Kathleen would fall in love with, and marry, a man I knew and admired. A good man who would love my daughter with all his heart and who would always be good and kind to her. I thought she was full of hogwash then. But I\u2019ve seen her do this so many times that I do believe she has something special about her. Look at how she turned to Hoss – and only Hoss – to help with her ankle. She knew what he was thinking. Isn\u2019t that right, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, that is right!\u201d proclaimed Hoss.<\/p>\n Big Jake, feeling validated, continued. \u201cI swear I don\u2019t know how she does it! But I do know when she does it. She gets this \u2018funny\u2019 look on her face, in her eyes \u2013 they actually change color \u2013 and she does whatever it is that she does. Sometimes it\u2019s spooky. The only time you have to watch out for her is when her eyes turn almost gold \u2013 then she is angry, and you better watch out!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam thought back to when her eyes changed color and she looked like she was almost in a trance. I saw that with my own eyes<\/em>. \u201cShe\u2019s a blessing, that girl,\u201d said Big Jake. \u201cShe is the most kind-hearted female I know. But she will not show pain, or tears, or other emotions that most women show so readily. Then, again, she can be so ornery that she chases away any man who shows an interest in her. She can be shocking when she wants to be, and she can cut people to ribbons with her sharp tongue. Such a waste, though, because I believe that the right man could make her give up those things. She needs to feel secure.\u201d He gave a big sigh. \u201cOn the other hand, she has an enormous sense of humor and loves a good practical joke. She has the ability to laugh at herself, like when she fell up the stairs and took the wrong stagecoach.\u201d He leaned back, tired now.<\/p>\n There was silence in the room. It was Ben who suggested that they should all get some sleep, and he got no argument from anyone.<\/p>\n As they began to file upstairs, Joe couldn\u2019t resist asking one question of Big Jake: \u201cWhat\u2019re you gonna sleep in?\u201d<\/p>\n The answer: \u201cIn what God gave me, of course.\u201d This was said with a very deep chuckle.<\/p>\n CHAPTER SIX<\/p>\n Adam donned his nightshirt and thought about all the day\u2019s activities. But he couldn\u2019t get his mind off Maureen. He knew he was attracted to her but was loathe to admit it. Her green eyes haunted him. If she had worked so hard at being \u201cclassy\u201d and being a \u201clady,\u201d she had certainly achieved her goal. She had overcome the hardships of her youth, and he admired her for that. He admired the fact that she spoke her mind. He admired her stoicism. He looked at his hand and remembered how hard she had gripped it when Hoss was tending to her foot. He remembered her witticisms. He remembered the curve of her leg when she raised her dress to pull off strips of her petticoat.<\/p>\n Realizing that he was obsessing about a woman he had met only today, he punched his pillow and dug his head into its soft folds. Sometime later he fell asleep, wondering if she really was sleeping in what \u201cGod had given her.\u201d<\/p>\n Not only was Adam thinking about Maureen, but she was thinking about him: his beautiful eyes and long eyelashes, the hard muscles in his arm as he escorted her from the church, the feel of his hand in hers, his slow grin and his smile. The way he walked and the way he always seemed to be leaning against something. Her heart skipped a beat.<\/p>\n No, do not get involved with this man. I have learned to take care of myself and how to keep from letting my heart run away with me. There has been too much in my life that has caused me pain. I will not open up to it any more. Besides, Kathleen already warned me about how he is probably the greatest catch in Virginia City. He would only use me and then turn his back on me. <\/em><\/p>\n She brushed her hair slowly and saw her reflection smiling back at her in the mirror. She reminded herself again to be careful with her heart. Then she peeled off her clothes and climbed into bed. She dreamed that it was she and Adam who had gotten married and wondered if she was seeing into the future or if her mind was just indulging in wishful thinking.<\/p>\n CHAPTER SEVEN<\/p>\n Breakfast was being served and, because Maureen and Big Jake had no other clothes, they arrived at the table with their wedding duds on. The Cartwrights, of course, wore their normal working clothes and planned to do morning chores before going into town. Maureen looked every bit the lady that she had appeared to be yesterday. Big Jake had dispensed with the tie and had his sleeves rolled up.<\/p>\n The first question of the morning, as Maureen sat down with Hoss to her right and Big Jake to her left, was from Hoss: \u201cHow\u2019s that ankle this morning?\u201d<\/p>\n She flashed him a big smile. \u201cHoss, you are a miracle worker! It\u2019s much better today.\u201d She paused, then looked deliberately at Big Jake. \u201cBut I can\u2019t put shoes on today. I don\u2019t have any because they are still under the church stairs. Besides, I don\u2019t want to strain anything by falling down, or up, again.\u201d She winked at Joe who gave an audible giggle.<\/p>\n Adam, who could not keep his eyes off Maureen, saw a devilish sparkle in her eyes. He waited to see what was about to happen. It didn\u2019t take long. Quick as a wink, she speared two sausages from Hoss\u2019s plate and put them on her own plate. When Hoss looked down there was a puzzled look on his face. He was sure that he had helped himself to the sausages, but where did they go? Maureen looked at Adam and knew he had seen her make the swap. Would he give her away? She watched the corners of his mouth turn up and knew she was safe.<\/p>\n Hoss grabbed two more sausages, still looking a bit bewildered as he turned toward Ben to answer a question. When he looked at his plate again, the two sausages had become four. He looked around the table and saw only looks of innocence. He shrugged and decided that he just had made a mistake.<\/p>\n Maureen stifled a giggle. Hoss was an easy target. Not soon afterward, Big Jake had turned to say something to Joe. Again, quicker than a flash, Maureen had dumped two spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee. When he took a sip, he almost spit the coffee out. He opined that he didn\u2019t remember putting sugar in his coffee, and he looked pointedly at Maureen who was serenely sitting there drinking her own coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d she asked innocently.<\/p>\n Big Jake studied her face and decided that he must have added sugar and then forgotten. But he knew her penchant for practical jokes and moved his cup far away from her reach.<\/p>\n The group moved toward the great room and, as Adam passed by Maureen, he whispered, \u201cRemind me not to sit next to you at a meal!\u201d<\/p>\n Her retort was, \u201cWhy, Adam, what an unkind thing to say.\u201d But her eyes danced with glee and he knew that she was aware that he had caught her on at least one occasion.<\/p>\n Morning chores done, Joe and Big Jake, Maureen and Ben piled into the buggy for the trip to town. Adam and Hoss chose to ride. Maureen was still barefoot and would remain so for the rest of the day.<\/p>\n When they reached Virginia City, Jim and Kathleen were waiting for the stagecoach to arrive. Kathleen fairly glowed, and Jim looked the happiest that Adam had ever remembered. The stage arrived, and the newlyweds shared handshakes and hugs as they boarded.<\/p>\n Kathleen whispered to Maureen, \u201cAdam can\u2019t take his eyes off you. You two would make an excellent match!\u201d Another hug, and the stage rolled away in a cloud of dust.<\/p>\n Maureen had a bittersweet smile for, in a way, she was jealous of her friend, but in a bigger way she was happy for her. Maybe my time will come<\/em>.<\/p>\n Big Jake\u2019s question jogged her out of her reverie. \u201cGonna get your shoes, girl?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen crinkled her nose and nodded. \u201cBe back in a minute.\u201d And off she went to the church, looked under the stairs, and found where she had stashed her shoes. It was another hot day, and she really wanted to get to Jim\u2019s ranch and change out of her dress into something cooler and more comfortable. Unfortunately, she could see no sign of Big Jake or of the Cartwrights. She began looking into different saloons as she walked up one side of the street and down the other. It was, of course, the last place she looked when she saw the very top of Hoss\u2019s hat.<\/p>\n Shoes in hand, she strolled into the \u201cBucket O\u2019 Blood\u201d and headed to where the men were sitting at a table toward the back of the saloon. She didn\u2019t get far before one man, who had obviously been imbibing a wee bit too much, grabbed her arm as she passed by him. Before she knew it, she was spun around and was facing the man, his fingers still clutching her arm. She recoiled at the reek of liquor. Sternly she said, \u201cYou\u2019re hurting my arm. Please let go. Now!\u201d<\/p>\n Big Jake and the Cartwrights saw what was happening, but it was Adam who was on his feet first. Big Jake reached out a hand and stopped him. \u201cLet her handle it. If she needs help, we\u2019ll know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grudgingly sat down on the edge of his chair, waiting and watching. \u201cWatch her eyes \u2013 you\u2019ll see what I mean about their changing color,\u201d Big Jake added. And it was true. Her eyes did start to change. Instead of their normal dark green, they were beginning to look much lighter.<\/p>\n The drunk threw his arm around Maureen and tried desperately to get her to have a drink with him. Her face tightened, her lips grew thin, and her eyes turned pure gold. She stared the drunk in the eye and said in a soft voice, \u201cIf you don\u2019t let go of me, and I mean right now, I am going to turn your head around backward.\u201d Their eyes locked for several seconds, and the drunk finally removed his arm from around her.<\/p>\n But he was not quite ready to be defeated by a woman, especially in front of his friends. As she turned away from him, he pinched her backside. Hard. Maureen spun around, and suddenly the drunk ran screaming from the saloon – a scream of pure pain.<\/p>\n \u201cTold ya she could take care of herself,\u201d grinned Big Jake. He stood up and pulled out a chair for her. Her eyes were a deep gold, then turned yellow-gold, and then changed back to their normal dark green. Her face was still grim, but otherwise she looked completely composed. Adam was amazed at being able to watch the changes \u2013 it was truly fascinating.<\/p>\n \u201cI found my shoes,\u201d she chortled. \u201cRight where I left them. Then I couldn\u2019t find any of you! I might have gotten into some kind of trouble wandering around here from saloon to saloon.\u201d She pursed her mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve never seen you get into any trouble that you couldn\u2019t handle by yourself,\u201d Big Jake said with a half smile.<\/p>\n She looked around, spied the bartender, and asked for a beer. The Cartwrights did a double-take, and so did the bartender. Maureen just shook her head when she saw their faces. \u201cIt\u2019s hot outside. I\u2019m thirsty. I like beer. And I\u2019m going to drink one!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben spoke. \u201cIf you want a beer, then you shall have one. But try to understand that most of these men in here are not used to a lady\u2019s coming in to begin with. And barefoot at that!\u201d He pointed to her shoes, still in her hand. It was the way he said it that made her laugh heartily. The tension had passed.<\/p>\n Taking a sip of her beer, she smiled. \u201cUm, that tastes so good.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe, being brave, dared to ask why the drunk had screamed so loud and then fled so quickly.<\/p>\n Maureen avoided a direct answer. \u201cWell, he did a not very nice thing to me, so I returned the \u2018favor\u2019.\u201d Questioning looks appeared on the men\u2019s faces. Maureen just sat and drank some more beer.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll ask, and I know I\u2019ll be sorry,\u201d muttered Big Jake. \u201cJust exactly what did he do that was \u2018not very nice?\u2019 And what did you do to him in return?\u201d<\/p>\n Draining her glass of beer, Maureen (queen of the innocent look), replied, \u201cHe pinched my butt! So I pinched him back \u2013 I just chose to pinch him in his front.\u201d There was a long pause. \u201cI don\u2019t think he\u2019ll be sitting in a saddle for a while.\u201d The huge impish grin appeared on her face. At first there was no response. Then there followed such a burst of laughter that the saloon almost vibrated. Hoss laughed til the tears ran down his face; Joe had a giggling fit; Ben roared; Adam leaned so far backward in his chair that he almost fell over. Big Jake covered his face with his hands and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. Maureen, of course, did not laugh, outwardly, anyway. She looked every bit \u201cthe lady.\u201d<\/p>\n Big Jake rose and took Maureen gently by the hand. \u201cLet\u2019s go to Jim\u2019s and see if we can keep you out of trouble there.\u201d His face was as red as a beet. The Cartwrights rose as Maureen got to her feet, and she thanked them for their hospitality of the night before. She reassured Hoss that Jim undoubtedly had liniment for her ankle at his ranch and that she would keep wearing the bandages until her ankle was strong again. It did not go unnoticed, however, that she flashed a special smile at Adam. Their eyes locked just a few seconds too long.<\/p>\n With a \u201cWe\u2019ll be seeing you again soon,\u201d she turned and walked out of the saloon with Big Jake\u2019s hand propelling her forward.<\/p>\n \u201cThere goes one very unusual lady,\u201d commented Ben. \u201cI guess she learned early to take care of herself.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was thinking. \u201cUnusual\u201d is not the word.<\/p>\n CHAPTER EIGHT<\/p>\n While Big Jake and Maureen were taking care of Jim\u2019s ranch, the Cartwrights were equally busy tending to Ponderosa business. But Adam had not forgotten about Maureen, had not forgotten the sparkle in her eyes, the sheen of her blond hair, the sound of her laughter. He consistently chided himself for not being able to get her out of his mind and would deliberately work harder to keep himself otherwise occupied. I don\u2019t even know this lady. But I\u2019m so drawn to her. Yeah, I\u2019ve been infatuated before, but it\u2019s never felt quite like this. Just work harder and forget her. Yeah, sure.<\/em><\/p>\n How could he have known that Maureen was thinking of him also? She was busy pumping (subtly, she thought) Big Jake for information. Big Jake, being no dummy, knew what she was doing, and he was enjoying telling her just enough to force her to ask more questions. He had told her about Adam\u2019s mother\u2019s dying when Adam was very young, about Ben\u2019s next two wives and their subsequent deaths, about how Adam had not yet married. He had talked about Adam\u2019s education, his singing, his guitar playing, his poetry reading, his love of books, and his closeness to Ben.<\/p>\n Maureen had no trouble identifying with Adam\u2019s loss of his mother because she never knew her own mother (or father); she herself loved music, books, and poetry. She had never allowed herself to get close enough to a man to be in love for fear that she would be rejected, just as she had been when she went from foster family to foster family. She didn\u2019t trust anybody. But she also knew, from reading books, that it was something \u201cspecial\u201d to feel a tingle up her spine whenever she looked into Adam\u2019s eyes or watched him walk or saw his smile or listened to him talk. I\u2019ve tried to learn to be a lady, but I will never really be one. My past is not the kind of past that Adam Cartwright would be attracted to. I\u2019m not college-educated. There are at least a dozen real ladies in town that Adam would be interested in. Why in the world would he pick me? Don\u2019t even let yourself think about romance. It\u2019s not in the cards for me.<\/em><\/p>\n CHAPTER NINE<\/p>\n Their week\u2019s honeymoon over, Kathleen and Jim arrived on the late afternoon stage. Big Jake and Maureen, with the bandage off her green\/yellow\/blue ankle, were there to greet them. (Maureen had hoped that maybe the Cartwrights might come, but there was no sign of them). However, seeing Kathleen\u2019s glowing face made Maureen forget about everything but seeing her best friend again. They squealed with delight, hugged each other, and began talking at the same time.<\/p>\n \u201cHow was the honeymoon?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow is the ranch?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat all did you see in San Francisco?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened to your ankle?\u201d<\/p>\n Big Jake and Jim just rolled their eyes, shook their heads, and loaded up the buggy with the luggage. The girls were still talking over each other when they arrived at Jim\u2019s ranch, and Big Jake and Jim hardly could hear their own voices over those of the two girls. While the two men were collecting the luggage, Kathleen and Maureen walked into the house and were most surprised to see a beaming Hop Sing setting the table for supper. But, for Maureen, the coup de grace was when she saw the Cartwrights standing in the small living room. Immediately, her eyes swept over the faces, and her eyes locked onto Adam\u2019s. He smiled \u201cthat\u201d smile, and she could feel goosebumps all over. Before anything could be said, Big Jake and Jim were in the door with the luggage. It was then that Ben said, \u201cWelcome home, you two! It\u2019s good to have you home again.\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen squealed with delight for the umpteenth time that afternoon and hugged everybody in sight.<\/p>\n Ben spoke again. \u201cWe thought it might be a nice surprise to have Hop Sing cook supper tonight. It\u2019s late, and we knew you might be too tired to cook. I hope we haven\u2019t overstepped our boundaries.\u201d Ben got an extra hug from Kathleen.<\/p>\n \u201cHow very thoughtful of you. I hadn\u2019t even thought about supper. I just wanted to get home, to our home (looking at Jim). I don\u2019t know how to say \u2018thank you\u2019 enough!\u201d There was much hand-shaking among the men, but Hop Sing soon put a stop to that. \u201cSupper ready. Supper ready. Will dry out if don\u2019t eat!\u201d And he scurried off while the group sat down with Jim at the head of the table and Kathleen at the other end of the table. Maureen sat wedged between Jim and Big Jake with Adam directly across from her.<\/p>\n She could hardly breathe, and those goosebumps just would not go away. Adam, looking quite calm on the outside, was having an inner turmoil. How can I eat when all I can concentrate on are those green eyes? <\/em>His mouth went dry. How could he possibly have known that both he and Maureen were thinking the same thing: Get control of yourself. Don\u2019t give yourself away; don\u2019t make yourself look like a fool<\/em>.<\/p>\n Hop Sing came from the kitchen with platters almost overloaded with food. \u201cEat. Eat. Food only good when hot!\u201d And he disappeared to bring back more food.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Hop Sing!\u201d joked Hoss. \u201cHow come you never fix food like this for us?\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing made a face. \u201cYou not just back from honeymoon. You not even marry! When you marry, then Hop Sing make feast!\u201d Hop Sing turned his back and headed for the kitchen, spouting Chinese as he went. Hearty laughter filled the room.<\/p>\n Conversation never ceased throughout the meal. It was a very happy occasion and was being thoroughly enjoyed. Then something quite interesting happened. Both Maureen and Adam speared a slice of roast beef at the same time and, quite unlike the gentleman that Adam was, he didn\u2019t retreat. His eyes met Maureen\u2019s and neither would blink or let go. For almost a full minute, time stood still. Jim resolved the problem finally by cutting the piece of beef in half. Adam winked at Maureen and was rewarded by a sudden sparkle from her eyes. Yep, she could handle herself all right! Joe giggled; Hoss almost choked; and Ben was astonished at his eldest son. He wasn\u2019t used to seeing Adam actually \u201cplaying.\u201d<\/p>\n While Maureen and Kathleen were exchanging glances that only a woman would understand, Jim sneaked his fork over to Maureen\u2019s plate and tried to reach for the beef. Without taking her eyes from Kathleen\u2019s, Maureen rapped him smartly across the knuckles, causing him to drop his fork.<\/p>\n \u201cYou always did have eyes in the back of your head,\u201d was the only comment he made, but with a big smile.<\/p>\n \u201cI had to fight for that piece of beef. There\u2019s no way I\u2019m gonna let you have it!\u201d came the answer, also with a big grin. And a wink at Adam. It was at this moment that Maureen and Adam bonded.<\/p>\n From just plain foolishness. Ben, watching the loving looks between Kathleen and Jim, was remembering when he, too, had a woman who loved him, when she sat at the opposite end of the table from him and had that special glow on her face. Yes, he did take women out every now and then, and he had a special rapport with one woman in particular, but would he ever marry again? He felt a sudden wave of loneliness sweep over him. He felt, rather than heard, the silence at the table, and he jumped back into reality.<\/p>\n All eyes were on Maureen whose own eyes had gone sea-foam green again. And there was that trance-like look on her face. She smiled directly into Ben\u2019s eyes and spoke. \u201cYes, you will. Great happiness. You\u2019re on the right track.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s jaw dropped. Had he spoken out loud? How could she have known what he was thinking? He couldn\u2019t find his voice. So he tried something: I\u2019m thinking of one lady in particular. Is that the one? <\/em><\/p>\n Without hesitation came the answer, \u201cAbsolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n Trying again, Ben concentrated. \u201cWill my boys be happy about this?\u201d<\/p>\n Again an emphatic \u201cAbsolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n The sea-foam eyes turned green again. Adam knew this for a fact because he was blatantly staring at Maureen while everybody else was staring at an astonished Ben.<\/p>\n Kathleen touched Ben\u2019s hand gently. \u201cShe has a special \u201cgift\u201d of being able to know sometimes what you\u2019re thinking.\u201d Thinking back, Ben remembered the night Hoss had tended to Maureen\u2019s ankle. Hoss had told Ben later that evening that it was just like she had read his mind. She read my mind. She really DID read my mind! He was flabbergasted. I hope she\u2019s right<\/em>. No comment from her this time. Kathleen spoke again. \u201cShe\u2019s been able to do this for as long as I remember. Jim and I have seen her do it many times. Some people think she\u2019s crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen banged down her water glass loudly. \u201cGood grief! Will you stop talking about me like I was in a different room? I\u2019m sitting right here!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam rubbed his jaw pensively. \u201cI\u2019ve read about that kind of \u201cgift\u201d in some newspaper articles. What is it like?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen pursed her lips. \u201cWell, it\u2019s like I hear somebody\u2019s thoughts as though they were speaking directly to me. I can\u2019t help but answer; I have no control over what I say.\u201d She paused. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t happen with everybody, and I don\u2019t know why. It just happens when it happens. The bad part is that I can\u2019t see anything for myself.\u201d<\/p>\n Jim smiled broadly. \u201cWhen I went back East on that business trip and met Kathleen for the first time, Maureen shocked me immediately by saying I had just met my wife. I wasn\u2019t in the market for a wife at the time, and I sure didn\u2019t want to live in the East. Maureen \u201cread\u201d my mind and said that Kathleen would love me enough to come back West with me. That she would be very happy here.\u201d He smiled at his bride. \u201cIt remains to be seen if she really will be happy here, but we did get married.\u201d<\/p>\n As one, the group moved into the living room and sat down with a glass of wine. Joe was the first to ask the question, \u201cCan you read my mind now?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen looked at him and took a deep breath. She felt a need to \u201cprove\u201d herself but knew that she would be unable to \u201cperform\u201d on cue. She explained this as best she could: \u201cWhen I feel it, I feel it. There\u2019s no rhyme or reason to it.\u201d<\/p>\n It was Adam\u2019s mind that she really wanted to read, but she could \u201csense\u201d nothing. She was disappointed. Hoss looked puzzled and asked why she could understand what he was thinking on the night he tended her foot. She smiled at Hoss. \u201cHoss, you are so very gentle and so open-minded, it felt like I was reading a book.\u201d Then, \u201cI don\u2019t know what happened with Mr. Cartwright. It was like he was talking to me, in my mind.\u201d She flashed Ben a look and smiled. \u201cBut I am right on the money with you. I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Pa,\u201d asked Joe. \u201cWhat were you thinkin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled at his youngest son and answered, \u201cNone of your business!\u201d<\/p>\n When Hoss laughed out loud, so did everybody else. The clock showed that the hour was getting late. It was Ben who once again suggested that Maureen and Big Jake come to stay at the Ponderosa for a few days. They could check on Jim and Kathleen each day before Big Jake returned to his own ranch. Nobody quite knew what Maureen\u2019s plans would be yet because she hadn\u2019t said anything. But she would have a place on the Ponderosa for as long as she wanted as far as he was concerned.<\/p>\n Knowing that Jim and Kathleen should have some privacy on their first night home, Big Jake thanked Ben for his hospitality, as did Maureen. The two hastily packed some clothes, gave hugs and kisses to Jim and Kathleen, then headed out the door.<\/p>\n Hop Sing was already in the buggy and, after much to-do over his wonderful cooking, Maureen felt strong hands around her waist lifting her up to the seat. She looked back and saw that it was Adam, smiling, and her heart skipped a beat and then began to sing. She didn\u2019t try to figure out why – she just accepted how she felt. He said nothing, but there was a slight upward curve to his lips. He looked as happy as she felt. She watched as he climbed onto Sport\u2019s saddle, the buggy lurched, and the group headed toward the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n CHAPTER TEN<\/p>\n Maureen was completely worn out on the way back to the Ponderosa. It had been a long day and she found that she could not keep her eyes open for one minute longer. By the time the group arrived at the Ponderosa, she had fallen fast asleep. Somewhere in her foggy mind, she felt her body being lifted from the buggy, and she was aware that she was being carried. Struggling to sweep the cobwebs from her mind, she realized that she was in Adam\u2019s strong arms, and she snuggled closer against his body. She could smell the fresh scent of him and, as she turned her face to his, could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. Her fingers inadvertently found the hair on his chest, and she was again covered with goosebumps. She felt as though he were gliding into the house, into \u201cher\u201d room, and placing her gently on the bed. She didn\u2019t want to let go of him; she didn\u2019t want him to leave. She had grown to love that \u201cgoose bumpy\u201d feeling. But she was so sleepy. Vaguely she felt him pull the comforter over her and she reached up to touch his cheek, feeling the stubble of his \u201cfive o\u2019clock shadow.\u201d She heard him murmur something but wasn\u2019t sure what it was. His voice was gentler than she had ever heard it sound before. She closed her eyes and fell immediately back to sleep, a small smile lingering on her face.<\/p>\n Overwhelmed by his tender feelings, Adam looked at her tiny smile and let his hand trail across her soft cheek. She looked so beautiful, so relaxed, so peaceful, that he almost felt as though he had been swept off his feet. He didn\u2019t want to leave her and, in a moment of what he normally would\u2019ve referred to as \u201cweakness,\u201d he wondered what it would be like to wake up next to her each morning. Gently he touched an errant strand of hair that had fallen over her brow, reveled in its softness and color. Stifling the urge to touch his lips to hers, he turned and made himself leave the room, closing the door softly behind him.<\/p>\n CHAPTER ELEVEN<\/p>\n The morning light wakened Maureen, but it was the aroma of fresh coffee that made her fairly fly out of bed. She was still in the clothes she had worn yesterday and she had little memory of how she got to bed last night. She thought she remembered Adam\u2019s carrying her in, but was that a dream or reality? No time to think about that as she hurriedly donned a pair of jeans and a blouse and dashed to the dining room. She practically collided with Joe as he was walking to his chair, and he playfully tugged at her long hair.<\/p>\n \u201cGood morning, sleepy head, \u201c he grinned.<\/p>\n She stuck her tongue out at him and plopped down into the nearest chair. Ben and Big Jake were coming down the stairs, and Adam and Hoss were coming in the front door. She watched as Adam sat down, looked into his eyes and tried to read his mind. She couldn\u2019t. I don\u2019t know why he is so difficult to read. Is he deliberately blocking me or is he in such control that I just can\u2019t get through to him?<\/em> Though he smiled at her and greeted her, as everyone else did, he seemed distant somehow. How could she have known that he was deliberately being aloof, trying to fight the attraction he felt for her, trying to make his mind a stone wall that was impenetrable? She played no tricks at breakfast. She watched and listened to the conversations going on around her.<\/p>\n She felt the love between father and sons and was fascinated by their interactions together. They seemed always to get along so well. This was so unlike her years with families in her foster homes where often the only words spoken were harsh ones. She liked that Hoss and his appetite were the butt of his family\u2019s jokes and that Hoss would just laugh. He knew he was loved. She adored Joe\u2019s giggles and found them quite contagious. When Ben\u2019s deep voice boomed, she could almost feel the table vibrating from the timbre of it.<\/p>\n Finally, she could stand being quiet no longer. \u201cOkay. I was rude and fell asleep last night. Will somebody please tell me how I got to bed?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe giggled. Hoss chewed thoughtfully but said nothing. There were too many innocent looks from around the table.<\/p>\n Maybe her dream was reality, so she took a stab. \u201cAdam, did you carry me in the house?\u201d She saw the instant sparkle in his eyes, and she knew she was right. She wasn\u2019t reading his mind. All she had to do was look at his impish face. \u201cYep. Just threw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Except potatoes don\u2019t have feet, especially bare feet!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss guffawed; Joe slapped his knee and chortled. Even Ben and Big Jake had a hard time hiding their grins. Helplessly, Maureen had to laugh. She was caught dead to rights and knew it. And she was still barefoot. She hated shoes and wore them only when necessary.<\/p>\n \u201cScore one for you, dear heart,\u201d she began, holding Adam\u2019s gaze. \u201cBut just remember that payback is a bi..\u201d She couldn\u2019t finish the sentence because Big Jake had jumped up and clamped his hand over her mouth. Of course, there wasn\u2019t a person in the room who didn\u2019t know what she was about to say, but they laughed even harder when they looked at Big Jake\u2019s florid face.<\/p>\n \u201cGirl, you have to watch your mouth!\u201d he shouted. \u201cPlease try to mind your manners!\u201d<\/p>\n She gave him her most hurt but innocent look. \u201cAll I was gonna say was that payback would be a big surprise.\u201d<\/p>\n Big Jake threw his hands into the air and looked heavenward as if begging for help. He was rescued by Ben who chose that moment to suggest that the two of them ride out to look at a herd of cattle that Big Jake was interested in buying.<\/p>\n Already plotting, Maureen waited for the two older men to leave the table. Hoss and Joe were the next to leave and, as soon as Hoss went by, Maureen deftly pushed a chair into Adam\u2019s way. Before he could avoid it, he had already banged his hip on the side of the chair. Of course, it didn\u2019t hurt him, but it did make him stumble. Hoss and Joe didn\u2019t see it but Adam was sure that Maureen had been the cause of this. When he looked at her, she was finishing the last bit of coffee in her cup. He stared at her until she got up from the table.<\/p>\n \u201cTrouble walking, Adam?\u201d was all she said.<\/p>\n Adam had met his match. Would it be the start of many matches to come?<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWELVE<\/p>\n Maureen had told the group during breakfast that she wanted to ride over and see Kathleen. Having finished eating, she ran a brush through her rather unruly hair, tied it with a ribbon in the back, and then walked out to go saddle a horse. Much to her surprise, she saw that Adam had already saddled one for her. How thoughtful!<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYou gonna ride barefoot?\u201d came the question from Adam. \u201cWell, I still can\u2019t maneuver my foot into a boot yet. I\u2019m gonna have to wait a few more days, I s\u2019pose,\u201d she answered. Untying the horse, she put her foot in the stirrup and grabbed the saddle horn to steady herself. Adam had chosen a beautiful horse, but he was big! When her weight was in the stirrup, the saddle slid toward her and she fell on her backside heavily. She wasn\u2019t hurt physically, but she knew exactly what had happened.<\/p>\n Adam chuckled. \u201cDon\u2019t you know to always check the cinch before you ride?\u201d<\/p>\n She glared at him and knew that it was \u201cpayback\u201d time from him to her. She dusted off the back of her jeans, gave him a playful smile to let him know that she knew what had happened. \u201cI hate saddles anyway.\u201d She undid the cinch completely and manhandled the saddle to the barn while Adam watched to see what would happen. As she returned and approached the horse, she spoke just loud enough for Adam to hear but for him to wonder if she might be talking to herself.<\/p>\n \u201cI hate shoes and saddles. I\u2019d rather ride bareback any day.\u201d Of course, the next problem would be how to mount the horse. He was too big for her to just swing up onto. She had to think quickly. Not trusting Adam to give her a leg up, she grabbed the reins and led the big animal over to the water trough. Balancing on the edge of the trough, she swung her leg over the horse\u2019s back and then turned and gave Adam her biggest, smuggest smile. \u201cThere appears to be more than one way to skin a cat.\u201d She dug her heels into the horse\u2019s side and galloped away.<\/p>\n Adam stood and watched her leave, still chuckling, mostly at himself. He hadn\u2019t thought of the possibility that she might do away with the saddle altogether. Re-checking Sport\u2019s cinch, a few thoughts crossed his mind: How her hair shone in the sunlight, how her jeans fit her so snugly, how her shirt had molded to the fullness of her breasts, how bright her smile was \u2013 even though there was a smugness there. He shook his head, swung up into the saddle and headed off to town, trying hard to not think about Maureen.<\/p>\n CHAPTER THIRTEEN<\/p>\n Arriving at Jim\u2019s ranch, Maureen found Jim and his men working with some new horses. He shouted a big \u201chello,\u201d and Maureen went into the house to find Kathleen busily baking bread. The warmth from the oven had given her cheeks a rosy glow, and she looked completely happy.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, tell all!\u201d demanded Maureen. \u201cHow is married life?\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen pulled up a chair. \u201cI couldn\u2019t be happier. Jim treats me like a queen, like I\u2019m the most important person in his life. He\u2019s affectionate and thoughtful.\u201d She paused. \u201cDon\u2019t get me wrong. Living here instead of back East is so different. It\u2019s harder here. But I like it. I really do!\u201d She put her hand out and held Maureen\u2019s. \u201cYour turn will come soon. And then you\u2019ll know what I mean about how love changes your perspective on everything.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen looked pensive. \u201cI don\u2019t know how to love. I don\u2019t know how to trust a man, how to let one into my life. I doubt anybody would be interested in loving me, let alone marrying me.\u201d<\/p>\n Of course, Kathleen knew all of Maureen\u2019s past. \u201cYou can\u2019t bring that baggage with you. It will only make things worse. Give people a chance to get to know you. You have to learn to trust, starting now. Stay with us a while; get to know the people here. When you are ready to move on, you can always go. But, please, stay with us a while.\u201d<\/p>\n When Maureen started to protest, Kathleen clucked at her like a mother hen. \u201cYou will not be a problem for Jim or for me. We have plenty of room. You can come and go as you please.\u201d She flashed a sly look. \u201cBesides, I think you need some time to get to know a \u201ccertain Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen blushed all the way to her hairline. \u201cAdam could never be interested in me. We are too different. I know that I am attracted to him, but I don\u2019t think the feeling is mutual. We tease and play jokes on each other, but that\u2019s as far as it goes.\u201d She gave a rueful smile.<\/p>\n The response was, \u201cAdam seems aloof. But I think he is looking for the \u201cright\u201d woman. One would never know it because he doesn\u2019t let it show. Don\u2019t let his apparent disinterest throw you for a loop.\u201d<\/p>\n The discussion ended when Jim came in the door and kissed his wife on the cheek. \u201cI\u2019m one hungry man! Is lunch ready?\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen checked the bread in the oven and pronounced that, indeed, lunch was ready. She tried to talk Maureen into staying, but Maureen didn\u2019t want to intrude and made up an excuse to leave. Jim walked her to her horse, gave her a leg up, and away she went in the direction of the Ponderosa. It was a beautiful day so Maureen took her time as she meandered over the hill toward the road back to the Cartwright\u2019s house. She was surprised to see Adam approaching, so she waited for him. They exchanged greetings and rode in a comfortable silence for a little way.<\/p>\n Both horses were feeling frisky, so Maureen challenged Adam to a race home. Adam pulled his hat a little lower on his head and announced that he would give Maureen a head start to make it a \u201cfair\u201d race. She just shook her head in the negative. \u201cI can beat you and that old nag any day. One, two, three, go!\u201d And she was off like a shot. Adam kicked Sport into a gallop and the race was on. She rides like the wind! And bareback at that!<\/em> Neck and neck they galloped, one gaining ground, then the other. They reached the Ponderosa at the same time, and Maureen quickly slid off the back of her horse. \u201cI win!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam, still in the saddle, shook his head. \u201cNope. I got here first. Just a nose ahead of you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but I\u2019m on the ground and you aren\u2019t! Therefore I win!\u201d She stuck out her chin defiantly.<\/p>\n \u201cNope. That reasoning won\u2019t work. Let\u2019s call it a tie.\u201d<\/p>\n She thought about this for a minute. \u201cOkay. Just this once. Next time there won\u2019t be any question as to who the winner is!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam let Sport\u2019s cinch out. \u201cWhere\u2019d you learn to ride like that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, here and there. I\u2019ve learned lots of things along the way. You might be surprised.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing you can do would surprise me,\u201d Adam gently answered. They went into the house, side by side, to see what Hop Sing had prepared for lunch. Walking with Adam had made Maureen feel like she was walking on air, a feeling she had never had before. Adam opened the door and put his hand in the small of her back, guiding her through the open door. She felt a shiver at the touch of his hand and wondered what was happening to her. Whatever it was, she liked it!<\/p>\n She put off mentioning that she would soon be going to stay with Kathleen – she knew she couldn\u2019t stay at the Ponderosa indefinitely, but she just wasn\u2019t ready to leave the Cartwright family. How she enjoyed watching the Cartwrights interacting with each other, how she loved sharing in their laughter, how she felt a sense of being one of the family. She knew it couldn\u2019t last forever, but she could dream. Most of all, she didn\u2019t want to leave Adam. If she moved to Kathleen\u2019s, Adam would forget her and she would have to face the fact that she would be able to see him only in town or just by happenstance. And how many times could she just \u201crun into him\u201d by serendipity? She sighed.<\/p>\n After lunch, she left the men to whatever work they were doing and went out to where her horse was tied up next to Adam\u2019s. She remembered her race with Adam and how exhilarated she felt. She knew he had really won the race, but she wasn\u2019t about to give in. She went into the barn, got a currycomb and brush, returned to her horse (appropriately named \u201cSky High\u201d) and began to brush him, talking to him the whole time. She had no idea that Adam, who had remained behind, was watching her as she bent and stretched and walked. She had taken the ribbon from her hair and put it beside the water trough; the wind ruffled through the wavy mass of blond cascades. When she was standing profile to him, she stretched, catlike, and her blouse pulled tight through the bodice as she arched her back.<\/p>\n Adam felt a heat rising in him, and he realized that he wanted her. Wanted to run his fingers through her hair, wanted to touch the curves of her body, wanted to kiss her full lips. He walked toward her as she was in mid-stretch and made an enormous effort not to touch her. She turned and smiled at him. Saw a light in his eyes that she had not seen before. Felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up, not from fear, but from what? She tried hard to read his mind and failed. She wished he was as easy to read as Hoss; then she would know what he was thinking. But, try as she might, she just couldn\u2019t get past that \u201cwall\u201d in his mind.<\/p>\n He watched her for a moment, and then spoke. \u201cYou really love horses, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI love all animals. Wild and tame. I seem to understand them – have a rapport with them – that I don\u2019t have with people. Animals don\u2019t judge. The tame ones give unconditional love; the wild ones act on instinct, and they surely can\u2019t be faulted for that.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam unsaddled Sport, took the saddle into the barn, and returned. \u201cHoss feels the same way about animals. He has an uncanny knack for being able to work with them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll animals instinctively know who they can trust,\u201d was all she said. \u201cHoss has a gentleness, an openness, about him that leads to trust. I learned a long time ago that I had a better rapport with animals and children than I did with adults. When I was growing up, I had no friends, really, so animals became my friends. I learned how to act around them, what to do for them, how to treat them, so that they would respect and trust me. Guess it\u2019s carried over to my adult life.\u201d Now why did I say all that? How dumb I must sound. And how pitiful.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYou should be respected and trusted,\u201d was all Adam had to say. With that, he picked up the currycomb and brush and began to groom his horse. His mind was spinning. He never saw Maureen walk back into the house, elated by his last statement. Only when he turned to speak to her did he realize that she was gone. Left behind, unnoticed, was the ribbon she had taken from her hair. Adam picked it up and slipped it into his pocket. She stayed in her room until supper and, when she came down the stairs, she looked very subdued. Something quite unusual for her.<\/p>\n She had spent the afternoon berating herself for sounding so pathetic. Why did I have to open my big mouth anyway? I\u2019m such an idiot! He will surely run in the opposite direction now. If I ever had even half a chance with him, it\u2019s gone now. <\/em><\/p>\n Her demeanor at supper did not go unnoticed, especially by Adam. But he had no idea how to make her comfortable again. When she looked at him, he winked at her. She looked at her plate quickly. He nudged her foot gently under the table. She never looked up but just moved her foot. For the first time, he tried desperately to send her a \u201cmind message,\u201d but she was obviously not receiving it. What else could he do?<\/p>\n Supper was over and the group moved into the living room. Adam had a thought, disappeared upstairs, and returned with not one but two guitars. Very casually, he handed one to Maureen, then he sat down on the hearth and began tuning the guitar he was holding. He saw a spark of interest in Maureen\u2019s eyes as she held the guitar in her lap.<\/p>\n \u201cYou asked me once if we could sing and play guitars together,\u201d he said casually. \u201cAre you in the mood to give it a try?\u201d<\/p>\n She pursed her lips. \u201cIt\u2019s been a while since I\u2019ve played. I hate to embarrass myself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNonsense,\u201d boomed Ben. \u201cI\u2019m in the mood for some music!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam patted a place on the hearth beside him and, to his great pleasure, she sat down next to him, running her hands over the guitar. It was nicer than anything she had ever owned. She smiled in spite of herself. She tuned her guitar to Adam\u2019s, then played a few chords to see what she did remember. When she drew a blank, she asked Adam to show her what she had forgotten – he demonstrated and found that she was a quick study. They decided what songs they knew and began to play some fun songs, rollicking songs which included \u201caudience participation.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam launched into a song that Maureen didn\u2019t know but quickly picked up the chord progression to. Then Maureen would sing and Adam would pick up the progression. Then they sang slower songs together, their voices blending and complementing each other. They each had the same thought at the same time: We\u2019re good together. Because she hadn\u2019t played the guitar in such a long time, Maureen\u2019s fingertips began to redden and to be quite painful, and she begged to stop.<\/p>\n The hour was late anyway, and it was time for everyone to retire for the evening. Adam and Maureen remained. When the house grew quiet, they were still sitting on the hearth. Maureen was relaxed at last, and Adam stretched his long legs out in the comfortable silence.<\/p>\n \u201cWe should do this more. You play very well and you have a beautiful voice,\u201d he commented. \u201cBesides, music is very relaxing. Hoss almost went to sleep in the middle of that last song.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen laughed and favored Adam with sparkling eyes. \u201cI thought he was in danger of sliding right out of his chair!\u201d They both laughed then. Without thinking, Adam put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a tight squeeze. She felt like a lightning bolt had struck her and felt herself leaning into his hug. There was another comfortable silence where each was afraid to move, afraid to break the spell. She let her head fall lightly on his shoulder and met no resistance. Both their minds were whirling. Adam inhaled the scent of her hair, the light scent of her perfume. Felt the pressure of her head on his shoulder.<\/p>\n Putting his fingers beneath her chin, he turned her face upward toward his, and he kissed her lightly. He felt the softness of her lips under his. It was a quick kiss, but the feeling behind it spoke volumes.<\/p>\n Maureen\u2019s eyes popped open. Shyly, she asked, \u201cWhy did you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I have wanted to for quite a while,\u201d came the simple answer.<\/p>\n \u201cEven after I acted so pathetic today?\u201d she queried.<\/p>\n \u201cEspecially after what you told me today. I don\u2019t think you sounded pathetic. You were just telling the truth about a difficult part of your life.\u201d With his fingers still under her chin, he kissed the tip of her nose. And then he was quite surprised to find her lips against his in a longer kiss this time: sweet, chaste, but very meaningful.<\/p>\n Afraid that he might get too carried away, he pulled away first. He could feel the heat rising in him again and wondered if she could feel it too. She looked into his eyes for a very long time, trying to read what he was thinking. She failed. But she was deliriously happy at the glow in his hazel eyes. She could still feel the warmth of his mouth, could still feel the pounding of her heart. Suddenly, the floor creaked \u2013 and she jumped up.<\/p>\n Adam gave her a questioning look. \u201cI thought we had been caught!\u201d was all she could say.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cSo what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSaints preserve us, Adam!\u201d she said as she flounced toward her bedroom door. When she turned, he was chuckling.<\/p>\n \u201cSleep well, Maureen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope you don\u2019t sleep a wink at all!\u201d she retorted, but the sparkle in her eyes told Adam that she wasn\u2019t really angry. She disappeared into her room, her mind reeling and heart soaring. Adam wanted to kiss me. He doesn\u2019t think I\u2019m pitiful. And he certainly isn\u2019t worried about getting caught in the middle of\u2026.of what?<\/em> Too tired to think any more, she undressed quickly and slid under the covers. Her last thoughts were of Adam. She smiled in her sleep.<\/p>\n Adam, in his own bed, tried to sort out what all had happened during the day. His mind turned to Maureen in the tight blouse and form-fitting jeans. He thought about their singing and how naturally they followed each other. He thought about the way her hair smelled, remembered the warmth of her lips, the tenderness in her face. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out her hair ribbon and ran it through his fingers. He felt the heat coursing through his body. No, he would not sleep well tonight.<\/p>\n CHAPTER FOURTEEN<\/p>\n The noticeable change in Adam escaped no one. He was more open, laughed a lot, teased unmercifully with Hoss and Joe. The looks exchanged between him and Maureen were quite obvious. Ben and Big Jake often looked at each other with knowing glances, but they said nothing to each other about it. They didn\u2019t have to. As the days passed, more practical jokes were played, but nobody knew whether to blame Adam or Maureen.<\/p>\n There was the incident of the horned toad in Ben\u2019s holster; the harmless snake in Joe\u2019s hat; the stealing of food from Big Jake\u2019s plate; the sugar in Hoss\u2019s wine glass. Innocent looks on Adam\u2019s face and on Maureen\u2019s face. But, of course, Maureen had found cockleburs in her bed one night and didn\u2019t know who to blame because so many tricks had been played all the way around. It could\u2019ve been payback from anybody. Maureen hoped that it was Adam\u2019s doing. Adam had found his nightshirts tied in knots and festooned from every corner of the room. He hoped that Maureen was the culprit.<\/p>\n CHAPTER FIFTEEN<\/p>\n Today was Sunday, and Maureen had decided that she would attend church services with the Cartwrights. She hadn\u2019t gone the week before and gave no excuse. She also knew that Kathleen and Jim would be there, and wouldn\u2019t Kathleen be surprised to see Maureen\u2019s bright and shining face!<\/p>\n Kathleen was well aware of Maureen\u2019s aversion to \u201corganized religion,\u201d a painful leftover memory probably stemming from early days in a Catholic-run institution and the demands by her foster families that \u201cattending church would put the fear of God in her and make her behave.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen had always said that she practiced her own way of talking to God by walking in the woods, looking at the flora and fauna, and then doing her own kind of praying. Maureen was nervous about going to church today. She wanted to look like a lady, wanted to act like a lady, wanted the Cartwrights to be proud that she was with them. But it had been so long since she had been to church (other than being in Kathleen\u2019s wedding) that she was afraid of doing the wrong thing and embarrassing both herself and the rest of the group.<\/p>\n Looking in the mirror, she admitted that she was \u201cpresentable\u201d and went downstairs, trying to give the impression that she was calm and poised. But her heart was pounding. Hop Sing scurried in to hand over a gigantic basket because there was to be a picnic after the church services.<\/p>\n He beamed, \u201cMissy look velly beautiful today.\u201d<\/p>\n She curtsied. \u201cThank you, Hop Sing. What a thoughtful thing to say.\u201d<\/p>\n The men of the house had grown used to seeing her in jeans, so the sight of her in a dress was almost a shock. They were quick to compliment her and, sneaking a peak at Adam\u2019s eyes, she knew he was impressed. Breathing a big sigh of relief she walked out the door and was helped into the buggy by Big Jake. Ben loaded the picnic basket then sat in the buggy beside her.<\/p>\n Sensing that she was nervous, he whispered, \u201cAre you all right?\u201d She nodded her head then pretended to look behind her at Big Jake. Actually, she was looking to see where Adam was: on Sport\u2019s back. God, he looks so handsome<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute,\u201d demanded Big Jake. He leaned forward over the front seat of the buggy and lifted the hem of Maureen\u2019s dress slightly. He chortled, \u201cShe\u2019s wearing shoes!\u201d<\/p>\n Off they rode, laughing heartily. At the church, Big Jake helped Maureen out of the buggy and noticed that she was shaking slightly. He made no comment but he understood her trepidation. Thankfully, she had met most of the people at the wedding, so very few introductions had to be made. Time to go into church and she felt a gentle hand on her arm. How surprised she was to see that the hand belonged to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cThe last time we were here together, I was escorting you out. Now it\u2019s time to escort you in.\u201d<\/p>\n And there was that slow grin that tugged at her heart. Feeling the hardness of the muscles in his arm, she looked at him shyly. \u201cJust don\u2019t let me trip going up the stairs again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got you. Don\u2019t worry.\u201d His eyes were soft and warm. The church service was, much to Maureen\u2019s delight, a beautiful one. She and the Cartwrights filled up the entire pew. Behind her, tugging lightly at her hair was Kathleen with Jim on one side of her and Big Jake on the other. She felt like she was among family, and her heart soared. For the first time, she felt really included. The prayer responses came back to her quickly, but it was the singing of the hymns that made her heart swell. Ben\u2019s deep bass voice, combined with Adam\u2019s baritone harmony, almost distracted her from actually singing herself, but she was so happy that soon her own clear voice joined with the others. This feels wonderful<\/em>. Sunday services are definitely on the agenda from now on.<\/em><\/p>\n After the service, she felt Adam\u2019s hand in the small of her back (again) as he steered her out the door of the church. She felt his hands on her waist as he helped her into the buggy and off they all headed to the picnic grounds. Spreading their blanket out and putting the huge basket of food on top of it, the group split up to go visit the other people. Adam stayed with Maureen, a fact that positively delighted her.<\/p>\n \u201cOuch!\u201d she yelped as she accidentally trod on a pinecone. She felt, rather than saw, Adam looking at her.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStepped on a pinecone,\u201d she muttered.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t tell me. You took your shoes off again,\u201d he chuckled. And he looked pointedly toward the hem of her dress, hoping to spy her bare feet.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t like shoes!\u201d she muttered. Then, looking up into his face, seeing the upturned corners of his mouth, she begged, \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell on me. If I wore shoes out here on this uneven ground, I would surely make a fool of myself by falling flat on my face!\u201d<\/p>\n He chuckled. \u201cJust be careful where you walk, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll be careful. I promise.\u201d Whereupon she stubbed her toe on a rock and caused Adam to have a laughing fit. \u201cI\u2019ll end up carrying you before the day is over if you keep that up!\u201d<\/p>\n They mixed and mingled with so many people that Maureen couldn\u2019t keep up with all the names. As they were headed back to dig into Hop Sing\u2019s food, Maureen heard the screeching and screaming of tiny voices. Grabbing Adam\u2019s arm, she headed straight for the sound. There they found Ginny Creech who was in a desperate struggle with her three-year old son and her four-week old twins. Ginny looked like she had reached the end of her rope.<\/p>\n \u201cNeed a hand?\u201d Maureen inquired. Ginny, clutching one baby and still trying to hold on to her son at the same time, wailed, \u201cHenry has gone off somewhere and I can\u2019t find him and I can\u2019t hold on to these three all at once. I can\u2019t make this one stop running (grabbing at her son\u2019s shirt), and this one (pointing at one of the babies) has colic and won\u2019t stop crying, and this one (pointing at the other baby) is crying because she\u2019s hungry!\u201d When she caught her breath, she spied the errant \u201cHenry\u201d and told the boy to go to his father; the boy toddled off happily as fast as he could go, glad to get away from the screaming babies.<\/p>\n \u201cHere, let me give you a hand until your husband comes back,\u201d Maureen offered.<\/p>\n Adam looked distinctly uncomfortable but didn\u2019t know exactly what to do, so he just stood in place.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s take this little hungry one first,\u201d Maureen began as she knelt beside Ginny. Tucking the crying infant under one arm, she began spreading out the baby\u2019s blanket, then put the baby in it, wrapping it tightly in a very controlled, organized way. The baby\u2019s cry lessened somewhat. But, when Maureen held the baby to her and began to rock it gently, saying \u201cshhhh, shhhh, shhhh\u201d over and over again, the crying stopped. Ginny had a questioning look on her face.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, give me that bottle over there,\u201d prompted Maureen. As soon as the bottle\u2019s nipple had been poked into her mouth, the baby began to happily nurse. That left only one screaming, colicky baby to take care of. Maureen turned to Adam. \u201cHere. Hold this one.\u201d And she shoved the baby toward Adam who took a step backward. It had been a very long time since he had held such a tiny baby. \u201cHeaven help us, Adam! She\u2019s not a hot skillet – she\u2019s just a baby!\u201d And she forced the baby, bottle and all, into Adam\u2019s arms. \u201cNow, hold her head so it doesn\u2019t wobble all over the place. And hold the bottle up like this.\u201d She demonstrated. \u201cAnd, for God\u2019s sake, don\u2019t drop her!\u201d<\/p>\n For several minutes, Adam looked (and felt) horribly awkward. As he finally began to relax, he peered down into the little pink face, felt the tiny fingers of one hand curl around his finger, and he was overcome with a feeling he had never known. He rocked the baby gently as Maureen turned her attention to the other child. This one, Maureen scooped up into her arms, pulled up the little dress, and began rubbing the baby\u2019s tummy in a gentle clockwise motion, starting at the belly button and then making the circles wider. She continued this procedure for several minutes and the screaming lessened. Suddenly, the baby gave a huge belch \u2013 startling both Adam and Ginny \u2013 and the crying began to cease. Maureen\u2019s hands kept up the circular motion for several minutes. More belches. And another distinct sound that made Ginny turn red and made Maureen giggle. The baby had stopped crying completely.<\/p>\n Ginny was astounded. \u201cWhat did you do to my babies?\u201d<\/p>\n Wrapping this baby in the same fashion as she had wrapped the other one, Maureen spoke. \u201cToo much air in the tummy causes pain. When you rub your hands over her belly, in a clockwise circular motion, small areas spreading into larger areas, you cause the air to move. One way or the other.\u201d<\/p>\n Both Ginny and Maureen giggled this time. Adam pretended to not pay attention. Babies with gas and burps were not a subject he wished to be privy to. \u201cAnd,\u201d Maureen continued, \u201cbabies wrapped tightly in a blanket have a sense of security. When you wrap the baby this way, hold it to you, and say \u201cshhhh, shhhh, shhhh, over and over again, the baby thinks it\u2019s back in your tummy and is hearing your heart beat. Little ones will almost always quiet down when you do this.\u201d She handed the baby back to a grateful Ginny. Peace at last.<\/p>\n Maureen turned to Adam who was still watching the tiny life he held in his arms. He was overwhelmed still. Maureen had to speak to him three times before she could get his attention. At the moment that he gingerly handed the baby to Maureen, his arms brushed across her breasts accidentally. They both felt like lightning had struck them and, for a moment, neither moved, but Adam\u2019s mind had opened. I wonder if I will ever be holding a child of my own like this?<\/em> Without thinking, Maureen answered, \u201cYou will be holding your son like this one fine day.\u201d<\/p>\n Startled, they looked at each other. She had read his mind without even thinking about it! Henry and the three-year old boy returned, and Ginny thanked them both over and over again. Adam and Maureen walked off without speaking a word, but they both felt that something had happened to them. Something wonderful.<\/p>\n CHAPTER SIXTEEN<\/p>\n Already the rest of the Cartwright clan had begun digging into the picnic basket, but there was now one addition: a very attractive older female who obviously had eyes only for Ben (who looked completely relaxed and very happy). The woman was introduced to Maureen as \u201cLinda Carlyle.\u201d Maureen took an instant liking to Linda, a fact that didn\u2019t escape notice. Adam, Hoss, and Joe all cared deeply for Linda and secretly hoped there might be even deeper feeling between their Pa and this woman.<\/p>\n As Maureen bent down close to Ben, helping unload the basket of food, her eyes changed to sea-foam green momentarily. \u201cThat\u2019s the one, but the timing will not be up to you,\u201d was all she said. And Ben knew instantly what she meant. He said nothing but responded to her with a raised eyebrow and a sparkle in his brown eyes. Back to dark green went Maureen\u2019s eyes, and she said nothing more.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s holding of the crying baby had not escaped notice, and he became the center of much teasing.<\/p>\n \u201cIt looks like you\u2019re becoming quite the babysitter,\u201d ribbed Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cLooks more to me like he wasn\u2019t gonna turn loose of that young \u2018un,\u201d grinned Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m just thrilled that he didn\u2019t drop it!\u201d teased Maureen.<\/p>\n Adam took the teasing in stride. He still could feel the tiny fingers wrapped around his own fingers, could still see the little pink face gazing up at him in such a trusting way. He still felt overwhelmed, and there was a feeling of protectiveness on his part. Little babies had never affected him this way before, but then he hadn\u2019t felt such a bond with a woman (Maureen) and a baby at the same time. It was time for him to admit that Maureen had captured his heart. But had he captured hers as well? He thought so, but he needed to be sure. How to go about \u201cbeing sure\u201d was something he had to figure out.<\/p>\n CHAPTER SEVENTEEN<\/p>\n Linda and Maureen had their own conversations, and Maureen learned that Linda had grown up in a foster home also. They spoke openly about their young years, what they remembered and what they cared not to remember. Linda mentioned that she had entertained the thought of going to San Francisco, buying a big house and opening up a foster home where children would be loved and treated with kindness and much affection. Maureen paid close attention to how Linda and Ben interacted with each other – she noticed how relaxed they were and how they would touch each other affectionately, whether it be a touch on the shoulder or a hand on an arm or how their hands would touch just a wee bit too long. The genuine caring in their eyes spoke volumes. Maureen, recognizing the fact that Linda was what would be called a \u201creal lady\u201d decided to try out (consciously) some of Linda\u2019s seemingly unconscious mannerisms directed at Ben.<\/p>\n Adam was stretched out on his side as Maureen sat down. Deliberately, she sat close to him and let herself lean, ever so slightly, against his outstretched legs. She dared not look him in the eye to see if he reacted, but did she feel his legs move a little harder against her? Several minutes passed and his legs stayed comfortably against her. Okay. That seems to be working. Now what do I do? <\/em>She did nothing for a long time thinking that this could be accidental.<\/p>\n Joe was relating to Linda the escapades that had been happening around the Ponderosa since Maureen and Big Jake\u2019s arrival. Linda thought these episodes of prank-playing were hilarious. She laughed especially hard at Adam\u2019s nightclothes being tied up in knots and festooned around the room.<\/p>\n \u201cWho was the culprit?\u201d she asked innocently, though she already knew the answer by looking into Maureen\u2019s eyes. Maureen, finishing chewing on a piece of cake, displayed her best poker face. But, with four pairs of Cartwright eyes staring at her, she just had to laugh. \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re all looking at me for. Jake has been a practical joker for as long as I can remember.\u201d Then she reached out and put her hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder (just as Linda had done with Ben earlier). \u201cSurely you don\u2019t think that I would have done that!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t move away from her touch. \u201cI can\u2019t prove you did it, but I know you did. Just remember what you said about \u2018payback\u2019.\u201d He smiled from ear to ear. He wasn\u2019t stupid. He knew that Maureen was openly flirting with him and he was thoroughly enjoying it. It was time to put things back into the picnic basket now and, as Maureen took Adam\u2019s plate, she let her hand linger on Adam\u2019s just a trifle too long. It works on Ben, but will it work on Adam?<\/em> For several joyous seconds, Adam\u2019s hand did not move. Maureen\u2019s hand moved first, but she looked into Adam\u2019s hazel eyes and saw the warmth there. It worked! I think he likes it! But he meant what he said about \u201cpayback.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n As Maureen began to move backward with the empty plates, Adam quickly shoved the cake plate behind her. Naturally, she stepped right into the leftover cake. She froze and hoped against hope that nobody had realized what she had done. Linda\u2019s fits of contagious giggles assured her that she had been caught and, of course, Linda\u2019s giggles were joined by the men\u2019s hearty laughter.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam Cartwright!\u201d she exclaimed as she turned around. But Adam had jumped up and was now leaning against a tree, several feet from where he had been. His eyes widened innocently.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou put that cake plate there on purpose!\u201d Maureen spluttered, still standing in the plate.<\/p>\n \u201cMe?\u201d came the answer. He shook his dark head.<\/p>\n Linda was at Maureen\u2019s side. \u201cCome on down to the creek and let\u2019s wash your shoes off.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen heard a snicker coming from Adam\u2019s direction. \u201cShe\u2019s not wearing any shoes.\u201d<\/p>\n Sure enough, as Linda took a peek under the hem of Maureen\u2019s dress, there was Maureen\u2019s bare right foot, bits of cake oozing up between her toes. Linda stopped giggling and went into gales of laughter, dropping the hem of Maureen\u2019s skirt. \u201cYou have got to wash that foot, Maureen. The ants will be crawling all over you if you don\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n Prankster-turned-gentleman, Adam ambled over, scooped Maureen up in his strong arms and began heading toward the creek. Maureen\u2019s mouth was moving, but she was keeping her voice low so that only Adam could hear her.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s she saying?\u201d asked Hoss as Big Jake wandered over to see what had caused the explosion of laughter.<\/p>\n Big Jake shook his head and rolled his eyes. \u201cI don\u2019t think any of us want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n CHAPTER EIGHTEEN<\/p>\n Adam carefully picked his way down the gentle slope to the creek, sat Maureen down on a large fallen tree trunk and continued to listen to her berate him. All he could do was laugh every time she opened her mouth, which only prompted her to more oaths and curses. But he watched her eyes and saw that they were still green, not gold, so he figured she wasn\u2019t really mad at him.<\/p>\n Bending down, he said, \u201cGive me your foot and I\u2019ll wash that cake off.\u201d<\/p>\n She did as she was told and, as she felt his hand on her leg and her foot, she became quiet. Just the touch of his hand on her bare skin thrilled her. He spent an inordinate amount of time with the washing process, never looking up at her. Carefully inspecting between each toe, he finally had to admit that there was no reason to keep washing. He stood up and looked at her, feeling the silence that surrounded them. She had the oddest look on her face, a look that he didn\u2019t understand. He sat down beside her and waited to see if she would talk. She didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n He was the one to break the silence. \u201cYou still mad?\u201d<\/p>\n Finally she answered. \u201cAdam, I was never angry with you. I just pretended to be. But I was very embarrassed and didn\u2019t know what to do. I want so hard to be a \u201clady,\u201d like Linda. But I don\u2019t know how. I never had anybody to teach me how to do \u201cladylike\u201d things. I play jokes on people because I don\u2019t know how to be serious. I\u2019m afraid of being serious, afraid of getting too close to anybody. A big part of my life has been one rejection after another.\u201d Once she started talking, she couldn\u2019t stop. \u201cI love your family. I love the closeness you share. I don\u2019t know when I\u2019ve ever felt so at home, when I have felt like I was so much a part of something wonderful. But I can\u2019t live at the Ponderosa forever. Jake will be leaving soon, and so must I. Kathleen has asked me to come stay with her and Jim, but I can\u2019t do that forever either. They have their own lives, and I need to find a life of my own.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took both of her hands in his, looked at the creaminess of her skin next to his own tanned skin, saw how small her hands looked in his. He felt that \u201cprotective tenderness\u201d he had felt earlier when he was holding the baby. \u201cAnd what kind of life are you looking for?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n \u201cI want a husband, children, a big family, a home of my own.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen get serious about going after what you want.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid to get serious, Adam. I might lose what I go after. Maybe I don\u2019t know how to get serious.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve tried to show you before. Let me show you again.\u201d He kissed her gently. Then he kissed her again, longer this time. He kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose, and then returned to her lips. He felt her response and wrapped his arms around her, felt her arms around his neck. When they broke the kiss, he looked deep into her eyes. \u201cThat\u2019s serious.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked back at him, afraid that he might be playing yet another prank. There was no laughter on his lips or in his eyes. She put her fingers first to her mouth then to his. Her heart was so full that she couldn\u2019t speak, and the pounding of her heart drowned out any other sound.<\/p>\n As for Adam, his own heart was overflowing. This was the woman he wanted. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He could play the denial game no longer. All he was waiting for was to know that she felt the same way.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I have never loved a man before. I don\u2019t understand what I\u2019m feeling. I know, when I\u2019m with you, I am so very happy. I think\u2026.\u201d She stopped herself short and stood up abruptly. \u201cWe better get back to the picnic.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed. She opened up so much. Maybe she needs more time. At least she feels something for me.<\/em> He took her arm and led her back up the slope. However, on the way, they caught Ben and Linda in a warm embrace. Maureen put her finger to her lips. Adam nodded. They silently slipped away unnoticed but with happy smiles on their faces. Adam looked down at Maureen and saw a bit of wistfulness.<\/p>\n When he spoke, his tone was tender. \u201cI hope that Pa has found the woman for him. One day, Hoss and Joe and I will have wives of our own (looking at Maureen pointedly) and I want him to have someone he loves to share his life with. Linda is a wonderful woman, and we secretly keep crossing our fingers that Pa will marry her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour father is a wonderful man, Adam. He deserves the best. He will marry again. Believe me!\u201d And she had a \u201cfeeling\u201d that the future Mrs. Ben Cartwright would be Linda. She kept her mouth shut.<\/p>\n CHAPTER NINETEEN<\/p>\n Big Jake left the Ponderosa for his own ranch one morning soon after the picnic. Maureen knew she had to make a decision about what she herself was going to do. She and Linda shared many private talks, and Linda had wisely suggested that Maureen \u201cstay close\u201d for a while. Linda had noticed the change in Adam, had seen his face light up whenever Maureen walked into the room, had noticed how attentive he was to Maureen, had noticed how they \u201caccidentally\u201d touched each other frequently and with great tenderness.<\/p>\n This was the morning that Maureen was packing her things to move to Kathleen and Jim\u2019s house, and there was a serious conversation going on between the two women. Linda was spending more and more time with Ben, and Maureen could honestly say that she saw the same things happening with Ben that were happening with her and Adam.<\/p>\n Linda blushed. \u201cBeing in love is wonderful, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen paused. \u201cI\u2019ve never been in love, so I can\u2019t answer that question.\u201d<\/p>\n Linda jumped out of her chair and took Maureen\u2019s hands. \u201cMaureen, you love Adam. You know you do! Your problem is that you don\u2019t want to risk giving your heart away so you just stay in a state of denial. I can tell by the way Adam acts around you, how he acts with you, that he loves you. But you won\u2019t give him a chance. My advice, though you haven\u2019t asked for it, is to take the risk. Let him know how you feel.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have,\u201d came the answer.<\/p>\n \u201cBut he hasn\u2019t done anything about it. Maybe my background is a negative thing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you insane?\u201d Linda exploded. \u201cAdam Cartwright could care less about where you come from, what your level of education is. Has it ever occurred to you that he might be in a state of denial also? Don\u2019t you think he shares the same feelings as you do? Open your eyes, girl! Give him an opening to show him that you are taking the same risk as he is! He\u2019s been a bachelor for a long time. It\u2019s a big step for him just as it is for you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWill my living at Kathleen\u2019s ruin everything?\u201d<\/p>\n Linda smiled and hugged her. \u201cI believe you could live just about anywhere. You won\u2019t be able to chase Adam away with a stick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou really believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI most certainly do.\u201d Then Linda added with a sly smile, \u201cSometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.\u201d<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY<\/p>\n Leaving the Ponderosa was one of the hardest things that Maureen ever had to do. But it had to be done. Adam loaded her suitcases into the buckboard, and Maureen turned to Ben, Hoss, Joe, and Linda. \u201cI don\u2019t know how to thank you for all your kindness. I\u2019ve been blessed with being part of a wonderful family.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou act like you\u2019re going halfway around the world, for Heaven\u2019s sake!\u201d boomed Ben. \u201cWe\u2019ll be seeing you and Kathleen and Jim often. We\u2019re more than neighbors, we\u2019re friends!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hoisted Maureen into the buckboard but spoke not a word. At the halfway point between Kathleen\u2019s and the Ponderosa, Maureen looked at him. \u201cCat got your tongue?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know why you have to go to Kathleen\u2019s,\u201d he grumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cYou sound like an old bear.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou sound like you\u2019re happy to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I can\u2019t stay at the Ponderosa forever. You know that as well as I do.\u201d She paused. \u201cYou will come to see me, won\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam snorted. \u201cYou have to ask?\u201d He looked at her, watched the sunlight dance in her blond hair. He spoke more softly this time. \u201cYou have to ask?\u201d<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY ONE<\/p>\n As it turned out, Maureen had less quantity time with Adam. They each had their own work to do: Adam had to do his share with the running of the Ponderosa, and Maureen threw herself into helping Kathleen and Jim. But the \u201cquality\u201d time between Maureen and Adam had doubled.<\/p>\n Maureen cherished each minute that she and Adam could share. They rode horses and had picnics and went to dances and ate supper in town. They would sit on the porch swing and sing and play guitars. They touched, they hugged, they kissed – they were openly affectionate. Soon the town stopped gossiping about what seemed to be going on between them and began wondering when they would be attending a wedding.<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY TWO<\/p>\n During supper one night, on the rare occasion that the Cartwrights were all present at the table, Hoss looked from his father to Adam and then back to his father. \u201cOne of you is gonna have to do somethin\u2019 soon! This gossip is drivin\u2019 me crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat gossip is that, son?\u201d Ben innocently asked, trying to hide a smile.<\/p>\n \u201cMarriage,\u201d answered Joe, plopping another helping of mashed potatoes on his plate. \u201cYou\u2019ve been squiring Linda around for almost two years. And Adam gets that moony-eyed look whenever he\u2019s with Maureen. One of you needs to make a permanent commitment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, we do, do we?\u201d Ben boomed again, casting a look in Adam\u2019s direction to see his reaction.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyebrows had shot up to his hairline. Was he blushing? \u201cWhy don\u2019t you and Hoss mind your own business,\u201d suggested Adam, rolling his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, if you don\u2019t ask Maureen to marry you pretty quick, I might just have to ask her myself,\u201d Hoss chuckled. With a wink at Hoss, Joe giggled.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, if you don\u2019t marry Linda, she may get tired of waiting and run off somewhere without you.\u201d<\/p>\n Father and eldest son looked at each other, both of them knowing that Hoss and Joe were teasing, but they also knew it really was time to act. Ben shuffled his food around on his plate, and then spoke. \u201cHow would you feel about my marrying Linda?\u201d The simultaneous whoops of delight from his three sons were all the answer Ben needed. \u201cI\u2019ll see what I can do.\u201d He looked at Adam. \u201cAnd you do the same.\u201d The fact of the matter was that Ben had already proposed to Linda, but Linda was not giving an answer yet. She had received a letter from the orphanage in San Francisco \u2013 a letter that would change the course of her life. And the course of the life of yet another woman.<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY THREE<\/p>\n Kathleen and Maureen sat at the table after breakfast one morning and had a serious conversation. \u201cTell me how you feel about Adam,\u201d Kathleen queried.<\/p>\n Avoiding the question, Maureen answered. \u201cWell, he certainly is handsome. He\u2019s a hard worker and very, very smart. I can\u2019t think of anything he can\u2019t do and do well.\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen rolled her eyes and groaned. \u201cThat\u2019s not what I\u2019m asking and you know it! Tell me what\u2019s in your heart!\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen stirred her half-empty cup of coffee and fidgeted. \u201cI know what you want to hear. But it\u2019s so hard to put into words.\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen leaned back in her chair and announced that she had all the time in the world to listen.<\/p>\n Maureen was trapped and knew it. She had already had this kind of talk with Linda a while back and was loathe to speak about it again. She knew that she was settling for a status quo with Adam, that she was afraid of letting things get beyond her control. But she knew Kathleen, like Linda, was concerned for her happiness. So she opened up her heart and began to speak. \u201cAdam means more to me than I can tell you. Just the nearness of him makes me feel such intense joy. But there is this \u2018distance\u2019 between us that doesn\u2019t seem to be able to resolve itself. I love his smile, his laughter, his facial expressions, and his ability to be both serious and funny. I even love the smell of him.\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen, now with elbows propped on the table, spoke. \u201cDo you realize how many times you have used the word \u2018love\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n Eyes widening, Maureen was forced to admit to that fact. \u201cBut he never says the words to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you giving the man an honest chance to speak from his heart? Or are you running away just in the nick of time like you always have done? You have got to stop running!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the same thing that Linda told me. She said that I was afraid of rejection and that I might be letting happiness pass me by.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s right, and you know it. I\u2019m right and you know that too.\u201d Then she added, \u201cAdam needs some positive feedback before he takes the risk himself. Give him that feedback and just watch to see what happens. I don\u2019t think you will be disappointed. Kisses and hugs are fine. At least they\u2019re fine for folks who are just dating. You and Adam have long since passed that stage. It\u2019s time to move forward.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut when will I know the \u2018right\u2019 time?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBelieve me, you will know.\u201d<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR<\/p>\n Linda arrived late one afternoon and asked Maureen to take a walk with her. Linda looked mysterious and a little confused. The two women stood in the shade of the pine trees, and Linda began to speak. \u201cMaureen, I have something that I want to discuss with you. It\u2019s very important, but I don\u2019t know where to begin.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust start at the beginning \u2013 that\u2019s the easiest place.\u201d Linda pulled a letter from her skirt pocket and handed it to Maureen. With a quizzical glance, Maureen took the letter and read it.<\/p>\n \u201cDear Miss Carlyle. <\/em><\/p>\n How happy we are here at the Children\u2019s Orphanage that you have maintained contact with us. You have mentioned, numerous times, that you would be interested in running a foster home here in San Francisco. Due to the kindness of several contributors, we now have the money to purchase a very large home, the perfect place to raise foster children. We are offering you the position of being the head of this endeavor. Having been a foster child yourself, you are aware of the need for raising children with love, respect, dignity, and kindness. <\/em><\/p>\n Perhaps this awareness stems from your having been in a foster home yourself \u2013 your background makes you the perfect candidate to change a place of misery into one of happiness. <\/em><\/p>\n Please let me hear from you at your earliest convenience.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n Maureen clapped her hands joyfully! \u201cWhat a wonderful opportunity, Linda! This is what you have been dreaming of – you have wanted to make a difference in children\u2019s lives!\u201d<\/p>\n Linda smiled, but there was sadness in that smile. \u201cWhat do I tell Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen sat down in the pine needles. \u201cOh. I am assuming that you have to make a choice.\u201d<\/p>\n Linda nodded. \u201cI love Ben, but I feel that I have a calling to do something more with my life than to be a wife. I want to make a difference in less-than-fortunate children\u2019s lives. And this is my opportunity. And it won\u2019t be forever. I\u2019ll make it clear that the job will last long enough to get things going and then I will tender my resignation.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDoes your heart tell you to stay here with Ben or to go to California?\u201d<\/p>\n Linda sighed deeply then gave a one-word answer: \u201cCalifornia. Temporarily.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve thought this whole thing through, and you\u2019re sure that\u2019s what you want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbsolutely. It will break my heart in one way, but it will fulfill me in another way.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen,\u201d Maureen said softly, \u201cyou\u2019ll have to tell Ben. I think he loves you, but he\u2019s a very understanding man. He won\u2019t hold you back if you choose to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n Linda gave another loud sigh, then she looked Maureen in the eye and didn\u2019t blink. \u201cMaureen, I would like to know if you would come with me. I will need help running such a place, and I know that you understand what it means to need a good home. I realize that I am dropping a big weight on you. I know that Adam loves you, and I am sure that you love him. But I want – I need – your help as co-administrator. You say that Ben will understand the choice that I am making. Can you choose between this (holding the letter) and Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen felt like the air had been knocked out of her. What shall I say? What shall I do? I do love Adam. Can I make such a choice between my love for him and my love for \u201clost\u201d children? Even if it\u2019s only temporary? Will Adam and Ben wait for us to come back?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHow much time do I have to make up my mind?\u201d Maureen asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI have a week to tender my decision,\u201d came Linda\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n \u201cA week,\u201d repeated Maureen.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll give you my answer before then.\u201d<\/p>\n Wordlessly, Maureen rose and walked with Linda back to Kathleen\u2019s house.<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE<\/p>\n On a very hot, humid morning, too hot to have their usual race, Maureen and Adam rode back up to the picnic area and the creek that flowed close by. Maureen remembered how Adam had washed her foot and how he had kissed her. She felt a warm glow. Helping her down from her horse, Adam saw the glow on her face and in her eyes. As her feet touched the ground, he didn\u2019t release her right away but stood close to her and tried to say what was in his heart. The words just wouldn\u2019t come out. He wouldn\u2019t admit it, but he was scared to speak because he was afraid of chasing her away. He knew she cared about him, but did she love him?<\/p>\n Maureen sat down on the old tree trunk and wiggled her toes in the cool water. Adam sat down next to her and laughed when she reminded him about the \u201ccake prank\u201d that he had pulled on her. He reminded her of pushing the crying baby into his arms.<\/p>\n \u201cYou should have seen the look on your face,\u201d she laughed delightedly.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it wasn\u2019t my fault,\u201d he answered grudgingly. \u201cI don\u2019t remember much about babies.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou managed quite well, Adam. You\u2019re gonna make a wonderful father.\u201d Without waiting to see what his answer might be, Maureen (who still wasn\u2019t wearing shoes) rolled her jeans up to her knees and began to wade. \u201cCome on in! This feels really good!\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t move – he was too busy enjoying watching Maureen\u2019s bare calves.<\/p>\n \u201cAw, Adam. Don\u2019t be a party pooper. Relax a little and have some fun.\u201d<\/p>\n He had to smile if only because her happiness and her smile were so contagious. He took off his boots and socks and walked out to where Maureen was standing. He had to admit that the cool water and the soft sand really did feel good. He grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cSee, you old fuddy-duddy. I told you it felt good!\u201d she laughed, her eyes sparkling.<\/p>\n \u201cHumph,\u201d was the answer she got, but the corners of his mouth crept up into an unmistakable smile. Taking her hand, they walked up the creek in a companionable silence. Fish swam around their feet, birds were singing, and a slight breeze began to blow. I love her. Why can\u2019t I just say it?<\/em> Seeing a pile of sharp rocks ahead, Adam gave a slight tug on her hand to steer her away. But she lost her balance and fell flat into the water, getting completely drenched in the process. Adam knew she wasn\u2019t hurt and couldn\u2019t stop the laughter that erupted from him.<\/p>\n Maureen stood, water cascading from her hair and her clothes. \u201cYou did that on purpose!\u201d she pouted.<\/p>\n \u201cNo I didn\u2019t. I was trying to keep you from cutting your feet on those rocks behind you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, really?\u201d was the answer. She knew he was right but wouldn\u2019t concede defeat. She approached him, dripping wet, and gave him a huge unexpected shove and he fell backwards into the water. Now they both were sopping wet.<\/p>\n Like children, they chased each other through the coolness, pushing each other down again and again, throwing handfuls of water at each other. Maureen was the first to admit defeat. \u201cOkay, you win. You\u2019re bigger and stronger, and I\u2019m no match for you. I\u2019m getting out and am going to dry off in the sun. Just don\u2019t forget payback!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s \u201cpayback\u201d was not exactly what she had been referring to. Her wet blouse, now thoroughly plastered to her body, left nothing to the imagination. Her shapely bare legs and the wet jeans only added fuel to the fire that was building in him. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. The green of her eyes was almost startling, and the thought crossed his mind that she probably scared men when she looked at them that way. Without warning, he kissed her \u2013 a kiss that was deep and passionate and that lasted so long Maureen could hardly breathe. What surprised her was her own response – she felt as if she couldn\u2019t get enough of him, of his lips, his arms around her, the tightness of his embrace.<\/p>\n Through their wet clothes, she could feel the hardness of his chest and the fire in his body. Everywhere he touched, her skin felt burned. And she felt a hunger of her own, a fire within her own body. Her mind reeled, her breathing quickened, and she felt like she was losing control. She knew that they both wanted each other physically, but she knew she couldn\u2019t give in.<\/p>\n Breathlessly, she pulled away from his embrace. The fire in his eyes was so intense that it almost frightened her. Wordlessly, she turned and walked back to the fallen tree trunk and stood, confused by her own feelings for this wonderful man. She stood in the sun next to the tree trunk and fidgeted nervously. She ran her fingers through her wet hair, hoping that she could stall for time and get her feelings back under control. Adam watched her and then approached her.<\/p>\n When he was even with her, he stopped just inside her comfort zone. He was close enough to catch the subtle hint of her perfume, was close enough to see the pulse beat beneath the delicate skin in the hollow at the base of her throat. \u201cI should say that I\u2019m sorry. But that would be a lie,\u201d he began. He pushed a strand of wet hair away from her forehead. \u201cI can\u2019t apologize for being a man or for reacting like a man.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen ducked her head. Cradling her face in his big hands, he lifted her face to look at him. She felt her legs get weak and her knees began to shake. Adam watched as her eyes turned sea-foam green. \u201cDon\u2019t say it Adam. I know what you\u2019re about to say, and I don\u2019t want to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n But he said it anyway. \u201cI love you,\u201d he said simply. \u201cI have for a long time. I just didn\u2019t know how to say it. I didn\u2019t want to push you too hard or too fast. Will you marry me? Share my life with me? Share my bed with me? Have our children? I\u2019ve waited all my life for someone just like you, and I can\u2019t let go of you.\u201d<\/p>\n A single tear slid down Maureen\u2019s face, and her eyes changed back to their normal green. \u201cYou don\u2019t know how long I have waited for you to say that to me. I thought the time would never come. Now the time has come.\u201d She looked into his face and ran her hand across his cheek. \u201cSit down with me. I have something to tell you.\u201d He could see sadness in her eyes, but he sat down and hoped that her answer would be \u201cyes.\u201d But in his heart, heavy as stone, he knew the answer would be \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n Another tear slid down Maureen\u2019s cheek. \u201cI love you, Adam. You are offering me what I have always dreamed of – what I always thought I truly wanted.\u201d Adam\u2019s heart pounded as Maureen explained about Linda, the letter, the position of co-administrator, helping to be in charge of a houseful of children. \u201cAdam, I truly believe this is what I am meant to do. I know what it\u2019s like to be bounced like a ball from one home to another. Children are given away to foster parents willy-nilly. It doesn\u2019t matter if the foster parents are good or bad. There are just so many children who need homes – nobody checks out if it will be a good home, a loving home. I can help make a difference. I want to help make a difference. Please tell me that you understand why I can\u2019t stay with you, why I can\u2019t marry you. Not right now. And I can\u2019t ask you to wait for me, even though the job will be a temporary one. You\u2019re a grown man and have a wonderful home. You will always have your family to stand by you. I want to see little children have the same chance.\u201d<\/p>\n They clung to each other then, Maureen\u2019s tears wetting Adam\u2019s cheek. He tried to speak, couldn\u2019t, and then tried again. Through the lump in his throat, Adam spoke. \u201cMaureen, I love you enough to want for you the things that you want most. I don\u2019t want to let you go. If I thought I could tie you up and keep you here, I would. But I don\u2019t want to hold you against your will. If ever you change your mind, hurry home to me. I won\u2019t promise you that I\u2019ll wait forever, but I can\u2019t imagine that another woman could ever take your place.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen pulled out of his embrace slowly. \u201cThank you, my love, for understanding how important this is to me. Now, do me one last favor. Let me walk away from you and ride back to Kathleen\u2019s alone. I won\u2019t – I can\u2019t – look back at you.\u201d He held her hand tightly, nodded, and then felt her hand slip from his. He heard her ride away. And then he wept.<\/p>\n CHAPTER TWENTY SIX<\/p>\n Both Linda and Maureen had asked Ben and Adam not to come to say goodbye, and their requests were honored. The stage left Virginia City on time and in a huge cloud of dust. Maureen and Linda looked at each other with some sadness of what they were leaving behind but with some excitement about what they were headed toward. Neither woman saw the two horses in the shadows of the towering Ponderosa Pines. They never saw the two pairs of Cartwright eyes watching them as they sped away.<\/p>\n But Maureen, eyes changing to sea-foam green, could hear Adam whispering, \u201cGoodbye, my love.\u201d And she could \u201csee\u201d, in Adam\u2019s strong hands, a ribbon that she had lost a long time ago. Smiling at a tearful Linda, Maureen reached over and held her hand. \u201cDon\u2019t be sad. This story isn\u2019t over. Not by a long shot.\u201d And then Maureen\u2019s eyes turned deep green again.<\/p>\n In the shadows of the pines, two horsemen were joined by two other horsemen. The four Cartwrights stood together, watching as the stage disappeared. A ribbon was slipped back into a pocket.<\/p>\n \u201cHome, son?\u201d asked Ben, his face a mask of sadness. He remembered what Maureen had told him about Linda \u2013 \u201cShe\u2019s the one\u201d \u2013 and began to doubt that it was true.<\/p>\n \u201cHome, Pa,\u201d came Adam\u2019s soft answer through the lump in his throat.<\/p>\n He, like Ben, remembered what Maureen had said about holding his own child in his arms. But would it be his and Maureen\u2019s child? As one, four horses turned and headed slowly back home \u2013 to their Ponderosa.<\/p>\n EPILOGUE As predicted by Maureen, the story won\u2019t end here\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n THE END<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n