{"id":2284,"date":"2008-02-10T05:19:24","date_gmt":"2008-02-10T10:19:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2284"},"modified":"2026-07-30T14:07:31","modified_gmt":"2026-07-30T18:07:31","slug":"a-special-kind-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2284","title":{"rendered":"A Special Kind of Love (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: <\/span>Joe searches for a mother figure in his life,<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K (13,770 words)<\/p>\n

A Special Kind of Love Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

A Special Kind of Love<\/a>
\nTo Trust in Love<\/a><\/p>\n

A Special Kind of Love<\/strong><\/p>\n

As Sarah Miller came out of the mercantile store, she shielded her eyes with her arm against the bright glare of the sun and tried to balance the parcels she was carrying at the same time.\u00a0 The street was busy at this time of the day and she struggled to edge her way through the crowd and reach her buggy.\u00a0 As she passed the crowd outside the saloon she was aware of the appraising looks that she received from many of the men who were lounging there.<\/p>\n

Sarah was getting used to being the focus of men\u2019s attention.\u00a0 An available woman was a rare thing in Virginia City, particularly one as attractive as she was.\u00a0 Still vibrant in her late thirties, Sarah found that she spent much of her time dodging the unwanted attentions that were forced upon her whenever she came into town, which was rare. A quiet woman by nature, she had become even more reserved lately since the tragedy that had changed her life so dramatically.<\/p>\n

She kept her head down as she loaded her parcels into the buggy and tried to avoid the stares from those who tried to catch her eye. Today was one of those days when she was feeling quite tired, her energy quite sapped in the hot midday sun. When the parcels were all loaded she leant against the buggy for a moment and brushed her arm across her brow with a sigh.\u00a0 What she really could do with was a cool drink before the ride back to the house.\u00a0 She turned and crossed the street, hesitated for a moment, then entered Daisy\u2019s Kitchen – a small but hospitable restaurant run by the sweet hearted Daisy that Sarah got on with so well.<\/p>\n

The bell on the door tinkled as she entered, and Sarah stood for a moment relishing the coolness on her face as she noticed the drop in temperature from outside.\u00a0 She opened her eyes again to the sight of Daisy bustling out of the kitchen area.\u00a0 \u2018Sarah dear, how are you?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t seen you for days!\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah smiled at the woman she considered her closest friend in the town. \u2018I\u2019m fine Daisy, just a little worn out with all this heat.\u00a0 I think I could do with a cool drink before I start off home.\u2019\u00a0 She seated herself next to the window where she could watch the passing traffic and keep an eye on her buggy across the street.\u00a0 Removing her gloves while she waited, she thought of how many times she and Sam had sat at this very table and enjoyed a quiet dinner or lunch together. She sighed, remembering happier times that would never again return.<\/p>\n

\u2018Penny for your thoughts,\u2019 said Daisy as she sat next to her and placed a glass on the table between them.<\/p>\n

Sarah smiled at her. \u2018I was just thinking of how many times I\u2019ve been in here.\u00a0 Sam and I used to love our quiet times together having one of your delicious meals.\u2019<\/p>\n

Daisy put a hand over her friend\u2019s hand. \u2018Still hurts doesn\u2019t it?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Mmm.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t believe that it\u2019s been two years already.\u00a0 It seems like only yesterday that Sam \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 She shook her head and straightened up. \u2018No!\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to allow myself to do this again.\u00a0 Sam is dead and there\u2019s no point living in the past.\u00a0 I know that I have to \u2026.\u2019 She stopped as she heard shouting from the street.<\/p>\n

Outside the crowd was buzzing with excitement and clustered around something on the ground.\u00a0 She and Daisy stood to see what it was, but couldn\u2019t make out anything through the heads that blocked their vision.\u00a0 \u2018What on earth is going on?\u2019 she asked no one in particular, and Daisy shook her head.<\/p>\n

Moments later both women were edging their way through the crowd, to get a clearer look.\u00a0 As the crowd parted in front of them, Sarah gasped with dismay as she stared at the ground before her. Sprawled in the dust lay a young boy, his arms and legs sprawled and his hat flung off beside him.\u00a0 He was laughing uncontrollably and hiccuping slightly as he tried to raise himself from the dusty street.\u00a0 But what caught Sarah\u2019s attention more was the fact that this was the spot where she had parked her buggy, and it was now nowhere to be seen. She stood and stared, without knowing what to say.<\/p>\n

Suddenly the crowd parted and Sheriff Roy Coffee marched into the middle of the group.\u00a0 \u2018OK folks nothing to see.\u00a0 Stand back now please.\u2019 He glared at the boy on the ground and shook his head. \u2018Joe Cartwright, what have you done this time boy?\u2019\u00a0 Reaching down he pulled the youngster up by the back of his belt and plopped him onto his feet.\u00a0 The boy swayed slightly, and gave the sheriff a silly grin.<\/p>\n

\u2018Hello sheriff Coffee.\u2019 he said. \u2018What can I do for you today?\u2019<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee held onto him by the arm and sighed. \u2018Joe your Pa is sure gunna wallop you this time!\u2019\u00a0 He began to pull him by the arm down the street, but stopped as Sarah touched him on the shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u2018Excuse me sheriff, but just what happened here?\u00a0 I left my buggy right on this spot, but now it\u2019s gone. Do you have any idea where it might \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 She stopped as she followed his outstretched finger with her eyes.<\/p>\n

\u2018Is that yours ma\u2019am?\u2019 he asked. The buggy was down at the end of the street on its side.\u00a0 Her brown mare was still tethered to it, but the buggy itself had obviously tilted someway down the street and had been dragged the rest of the way. It was quite badly broken up along the sides and the axle also seemed to be smashed.<\/p>\n

Sarah gasped and held her hand to her mouth. \u2018Oh no! What happened?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018This fool kid did it, the sheriff replied. \u2018Came running out of the saloon over there and startled the horse, then tangled himself in the reins and loosened them.\u00a0 The horse bolted I\u2019m afraid.\u00a0 He\u2019s just lucky that no one was in the way to get seriously hurt. Just give me a few minutes to put him somewhere safe and I\u2019ll get some men organised to see what we can do to help you.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you sheriff.\u2019 Sarah whispered as he turned away from her, pulling the giggling boy with him by the arm.\u00a0 She bit her lip and blinked back the tears that she could feel<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry honey.\u2019 Daisy comforted her. \u2018The sheriff will see what he can do for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah shook her head in dismay. \u2018It doesn\u2019t look as if anything can be done Daisy. The buggy looks as though it\u2019s completely smashed.\u2019<\/p>\n

Daisy put her arm around her shoulder. \u2018Well if it is you know that Ben Cartwright will get it fixed for you.\u00a0 Once he finds out what that boy of his has done I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll look after it for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah nodded.\u00a0 She knew that Ben Cartwright of all people would see to it.\u00a0 He was known around town as a most honourable man, and even though Sarah had not really had much to do with the Cartwright family at all she knew that Mr Cartwright was a man who could always be trusted to do the right thing.<\/p>\n

The two women walked slowly down the street and stood looking at the smashed buggy, and Sarah bent down to pick up the parcels that had been strewn around it. This time the tears really did begin to fall as she watched a group of men pull the buggy up from its sideways position and she saw just how much damage there really was. She knew without asking that it was beyond repair.<\/p>\n

\u2018Best to let me get rid of it you, ma\u2019am,\u2019 said one of the men as he untied the horse.\u00a0 Have you got any way of getting home?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ll see to it,\u2019 said Daisy and began to lead her away.\u00a0 Sarah grabbed onto the rein of her horse and led her behind them.\u00a0 As they passed the sheriff\u2019s office they saw him helping young Joseph onto his pinto pony.<\/p>\n

\u2018Sorry about all this ma\u2019am.\u2019 Sheriff Coffee tipped his hat at her. \u2018Rest assured that I\u2019ll let Ben Cartwright know what\u2019s happened, and no doubt he\u2019ll be paying you a visit to sort this out.\u2019\u00a0 Sarah nodded at him. \u2018You can lay charges if you want to, you know.\u2019 He added.<\/p>\n

Sarah shook her head. \u2018What would be the point of that sheriff?\u00a0 The boy obviously isn\u2019t aware of what he\u2019s doing.\u2019<\/p>\n

Roy shrugged his shoulders at her. \u2018Well one thing\u2019s for sure. He certainly will be aware of what his father will be doing to him when I get him home and he\u2019s sobered up.\u00a0 I have a strong feeling this boy won\u2019t be sitting down for a while to come.\u2019\u00a0 He mounted his own horse and tipped his hat at her again as he took the pinto\u2019s reins. \u2018Be seeing ya, ma\u2019am.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah and Daisy watched as the two horses carried their riders down the street slowly, one upright in his saddle and the other slumped over, swaying as they went.<\/p>\n

—————————<\/p>\n

Adam straightened up as he heard the horses enter the yard and rolled his eyes as he turned to see Sheriff Coffee leading a familiar pinto behind him.\u00a0 His younger brother was sitting forward in his saddle with eyes downcast, clutching onto the reins with a tight grip.\u00a0 Adam shook his head and put down the axe he had been wielding as he sauntered over to the sheriff. \u2018What\u2019s he done now Roy?\u2019 he asked as he watched his brother slide down from his saddle.<\/p>\n

\u2018Hello Adam. Bit of trouble in town again, is your Pa around?\u2019 Roy replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018Roy, good to see you,\u2019 Ben\u2019s voice rang out from the doorway of the barn. \u2018What brings you \u2026..\u2019 he stopped as he saw his youngest son, leaning against his horse.\u00a0 He shut his eyes for a moment as if to regain his composure and he strode purposefully over to the waiting men.\u00a0 \u2018Do I need to ask?\u2019 he said angrily, and then turned to Little Joe. \u2018Joseph, turn around please!\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe turned and gave his father a mournful look. His face was pale and his eyes were slightly glazed. \u2018Hi Pa,\u2019 he said miserably.<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t you Hi Pa me!\u2019 his father shouted. \u2018What have you been doing to make it necessary for sheriff Coffee to have to bring you home young man?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe took a long breath and looked at the ground in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m waiting,\u2019 Ben demanded. \u2018What do you have to say for yourself?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe took another long breath and lifted his green eyes to look at his father. \u2018I don\u2019t feel well,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

Ben took a step towards him. \u2018You\u2019ll feel a whole lot worse if you don\u2019t answer me!\u2019 he declared and grabbed his son by the arm as he studied his face.<\/p>\n

\u2018He caused a bit of a ruckus in town today Ben,\u2019 interrupted Roy. \u2018Seems he was in the saloon again. Trouble was that he got evicted for being a bit too rowdy and caused a horse to be startled.\u00a0 The outcome was a broken buggy.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben glared at his son. \u2018You\u2019re lucky no one was hurt by the sound of it,\u2019 he shouted. \u2018How many times have I told you that you\u2019re not to go into the saloon without me or one of your brothers Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe stared at his father, trying to concentrate on what he was saying to him.\u00a0 Ben shook his arm and repeated, \u2018How many times Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don \u2026\u00a0 I don\u2019t \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 Joe tried to answer his father, but the ground in front of him seemed to tilt sideways and he felt an overwhelming urge to fall down to meet it. \u2018I don\u2019t \u2026.. Pa I don\u2019t feel well.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben let go of his arm and waved towards the house. \u2018Get upstairs now Joseph!\u00a0 You and I will continue this conversation in your room.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe began to move towards the house, but stumbled as he felt the ground tilt again. He clutched at his stomach and took two steps towards the bushes where he promptly began to throw up.\u00a0 The three men stood and watched him for a moment, and then Ben turned his back on the boy and continued his conversation with Roy. \u2018I\u2019m sorry he caused so much trouble Roy. Who owned the buggy?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Mrs Miller,\u2019 Roy replied, while continuing to watch the retching boy beside them. \u2018She\u2019s a mite upset as you can imagine. \u2018Doesn\u2019t seem to want to press any charges though.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ll go and see her in the morning,\u2019 Ben replied. He turned his head and called over his shoulder, \u2018Have you finished yet?\u2019\u00a0 The sounds behind him convinced him that the answer was no, so he turned back to Roy and continued. \u2018Thanks for bringing him home Roy. Rest assured that I\u2019ll deal with him.\u2019<\/p>\n

Roy laughed before replying, \u2018I have no doubt about that Ben.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Would you like a drink before you go back to town?\u2019 Ben asked, as the noises behind them subsided.<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t mind if I do, thanks,\u2019 replied Roy tipping his hat. \u2018It\u2019s a long thirsty ride back.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben turned to escort the sheriff into the house, calling over his shoulder as he did so, \u2018I\u2019ll see you in your room when you\u2019ve finished there Joseph. And make sure you hurry up.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam leaned against the hitching rail with an amused expression on his face as he watched his father and Roy. As Little Joe straightened up and wiped his mouth on his sleeve he asked casually, \u2018Finished?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe nodded and walked over to the horse trough where he splashed water on his face and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls.<\/p>\n

\u2018You\u2019d better get upstairs before Pa comes out for you then,\u2019 said Adam while he continued to watch his brother. \u2018Think you can make it?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t \u2026.I don\u2019t know,\u2019 Little Joe replied. Adam leaned over to support him by the arm and pulled none too gently towards the house. Joe stumbled by his brother\u2019s side, his eyes downcast.<\/p>\n

\u2018When are you going to learn?\u2019 remonstrated Adam as they walked across the yard. \u2018Honestly Joe, sometimes I think you\u2019ve got no brains at all.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe listened to his brother\u2019s reproaches as Adam pushed the front door open. He still felt sick, and hoped that he would be able to make it to his room without throwing up again.<\/p>\n

\u2018Adam,\u2019 called Ben as they entered the house. \u2018Join us for a drink?\u2019 He eyed his youngest son as he continued, \u2018I said to get to your room.\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe looked at the glass in his father\u2019s hand and gagged before bolting for the staircase. The three men smiled as they watched him stumble up the stairs, and Adam reached out for the glass.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Nothing like a good drop of whisky.\u2019 They all laughed and lifted their glasses.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/strong><\/p>\n

The knock on the door startled Sarah out of her thoughts and she put down her knitting and smoothed her skirt as she stood up to answer it.\u00a0 There on the porch stood Mr Cartwright and behind him his young son Joseph.\u00a0 Sarah smiled to herself as she caught the downcast look the boy gave her.<\/p>\n

\u2018Good morning Mrs Miller.\u2019 Mr Cartwright took off his hat and smiled at her. \u2018I hope we\u2019re not interrupting you.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Not at all Mr Cartwright. Please come in.\u2019 She motioned inside and he entered the room followed by his son. \u2018Do sit down both of you. Could I get either of you a drink?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No thank you.\u2019 Ben replied as he seated himself at the table.\u00a0 Joseph stood behind him, his eyes firmly fixed on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u2018Won\u2019t you be seated also Joseph?\u2019 she asked.<\/p>\n

The boy shook his head and his father replied for him. \u2018I think Joe would find it more comfortable standing at the moment.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah nodded, understanding just what he meant.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright had the reputation for being a very loving but firm father, and she had no doubt that after yesterday\u2019s occurrence young Joseph had felt the harshness of his father\u2019s discipline.<\/p>\n

\u2018My son has something to say to you Mrs Miller.\u2019 Ben motioned with his hand to the boy who stepped forward, his hands behind his back.\u00a0 He began what was obviously a well-rehearsed speech.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m very sorry that I destroyed your buggy yesterday.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have been in the saloon in the first place, and what I did caused you a lot of inconvenience. I\u2019m sorry.\u2019 He lifted his face to look at Sarah and she was startled at the colour of his eyes which were the greenest she had ever seen. At this moment they were looking at her sorrowfully.<\/p>\n

There was a moment\u2019s silence before Ben spoke again. \u2018And?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joseph looked at his father. \u2018Oh yes, and I\u2019ll make sure that you get a new buggy to replace the one that I broke. Pa says I\u2019m gunna pay for it.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah smiled at him. \u2018Thank you Joseph. Apology accepted. I must admit that I\u2019ve been a little worried about how I\u2019ll manage without a buggy.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course.\u2019 said Ben. \u2018We\u2019ll lend you ours until I can arrange for a new one to be delivered to you.\u00a0 It\u2019s the least we can do.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah sighed, quite relieved. \u2018Thank you Mr Cartwright.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Please call me Ben.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you Ben.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph and I have come to an understanding that he will be paying for the buggy.\u2019 Ben gave his son a meaningful look and Joe studied the floorboards again. \u2018That means that he has quite a bit of work to do to earn the money to pay me back, and as we are not quite so busy on the Ponderosa at the moment, I wondered if you would like to take advantage of him doing a few repairs for you around here?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh Mr \u2026 I mean Ben, that really won\u2019t be necessary. Just to have the buggy replaced is enough.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, Joseph would be happy to earn the money by working for you here, wouldn\u2019t you Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes sir, I mean yes ma\u2019am I would.\u2019 The boy\u2019s small sigh didn\u2019t escape Sarah\u2019s notice, and she tried to keep a straight face as she caught Ben\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n

Ben continued. \u2018Surely you have some repairs that need doing around here?\u00a0 I mean without a man around to \u2026. I\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t mean \u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah put up a hand to stop him. \u2018That\u2019s all right. Yes I do actually have quite a few things that need doing here.\u00a0 I could really do with the help.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Fine. Joseph will bring the buggy over tomorrow and begin work.\u00a0 He\u2019s a good worker if he puts his mind to it, but you just let me know if you need any help in keeping him in line.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure that we\u2019ll get along just fine.\u2019 Sarah said smiling at Joe, whose face lit up at her as he returned the look.<\/p>\n

Ben stood up. \u2018Good enough. Thank you for being so understanding about this Mrs Miller.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben please call me Sarah.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at her and she noticed how alike their smiles were. \u2018Sarah, then. Joseph wait for me outside.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe moved quickly across the room, needing no second bidding to do as his father had instructed. Ben turned to Sarah again. \u2018I\u2019m really sorry the boy has inconvenienced you so much.\u00a0 It really is good of you to be so understanding.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s fine Ben, really. I don\u2019t think Joseph knew what he was doing to be truthful.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know that!\u00a0 That\u2019s usually the boy\u2019s trouble. He doesn\u2019t know half the time what he\u2019s doing because he just doesn\u2019t stop to think.\u00a0 He knows very well that he\u2019s not allowed in the saloon without myself or one of his brothers, yet he continues to disobey me.\u00a0 Sometimes I wonder what I\u2019m going to do with \u2026.\u2019 He stopped, seemingly embarressed. \u2018I\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t mean to say all that.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s all right, Ben.\u2019 Sometimes it helps to talk over your problems with someone.<\/p>\n

He nodded. \u2018Yes I know. It\u2019s just that the boy is so difficult at times, and trying to be two parents to him is sometimes very hard.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure it must be.\u2019 She looked at him for a moment. \u2018He seems like a lovely boy though, underneath it all.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben raised his eyebrows at her. \u2018Mmm, well when he puts his mind to it he can be. I\u2019ll come over in a few days to check up on him.\u00a0 Please let me know if he\u2019s any trouble at all. You only have to send a note home with him when he returns home each afternoon, and I\u2019ll guarantee that he won\u2019t be a bother after that.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah laughed. \u2018I\u2019m sure he wouldn\u2019t. Thank you Ben, I appreciate what you\u2019re doing for me.\u00a0 This really will be a big help.\u2019<\/p>\n

He tipped his hat at her and opened the door. \u2018See you in a few days then.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah followed him to the porch and waved as he mounted his horse. Joseph had his hat pushed as far forward as it could go on his head, and sat slumped down in his saddle. As Ben turned his horse to trot out of the yard, the boy lifted a hand and waved back at Sarah before following his father.<\/p>\n

——————————–<\/p>\n

Little Joe Cartwright looked at the small house and barn in front of him and sighed.\u00a0 \u2018Could be worse,\u2019 he thought to himself, \u2018if I have to work at least I get away from Pa for a while and give him a chance to calm down a bit. And Mrs Miller seems OK.\u2019<\/p>\n

He mounted the steps to the front door, took off his hat and ran his hand through his curly hair before knocking on the door. \u2018Morning Mrs Miller,\u2019 he said politely as Sarah opened the door. \u2018I\u2019ve brought the buggy for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah smiled at him. \u2018Thank you Joseph, please come inside.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Uh, no thank you ma\u2019am. Pa said I wasn\u2019t to be any trouble to you, and that I had to get straight to work.\u2019\u00a0 He indicated the buggy with his hand. \u2018Pa sent over some tools for me in case you didn\u2019t have some.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I see,\u2019 said Sarah. \u2018Well in that case, would you mind putting the buggy over there for me? I\u2019ll come out and show you what has to be done.\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe nodded at her and went to do as he was bid. Sarah looked at him as he led the horse and buggy over to the barn and began to unhitch it. He seemed like a nice young boy she thought, Ben had certainly taught him some manners along the way. \u2018I thought you could start with the roof,\u2019 she said when he came back towards her, the box of tools under his arm. \u2018It\u2019s begun to leak rather badly, and I think there are quite a few loose shingles up there.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you have a ladder?\u2019 Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018In the barn.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Thanks.\u2019 He walked over to get it.<\/p>\n

Later that morning as Sarah listened to the constant hammering coming from the roof, she mused that not only had Ben instilled in the boy some manners, but also a great capacity for work.\u00a0 He had been at it for hours without a break now, and she wondered just how much longer he could keep going.<\/p>\n

Walking outside, she shielded her eyes against the sunlight and called up, \u2018Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A curly head appeared over the top of the house. \u2018Yes ma\u2019am?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Would you like a cool drink now?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sure thing. I\u2019ll come down.\u2019 The head disappeared and two legs began to emerge at the top of the ladder. As he reached ground level he turned to smile at her and reached for the glass she was holding. \u2018Thank you ma\u2019am,\u2019 he said and drank thirstily.<\/p>\n

Sarah laughed as she looked at the now empty glass in his hand. \u2018I think you could do with another one of those. Here, sit down while I get it for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe sat down on the edge of the porch and waited.\u00a0 He was glad of the break and stretched his legs, which were beginning to cramp from suddenly being stretched after hours of being in the one position as he perched on the rooftop.<\/p>\n

When Sarah returned with another glass and a plate of cookies she smiled to see the expression on his face. \u2018Thought you might be hungry.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes ma\u2019am! I sure am,\u2019 he replied, his eyes bright as he reached for one. \u2018Hey these are as good as Hop Sing\u2019s. You\u2019re a good cook.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well thank you, I\u2019m glad you like them. Who\u2019s Hop Sing?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Our cook on the Ponderosa. He makes the best cookies ever. Well, apart from yours ma\u2019am.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph, would you do me a favour please?\u2019<\/p>\n

He looked at her as he stopped chewing. \u2018Sure, what?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Stop calling me ma\u2019am. It makes me feel old.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well what do I call you then?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018How about Sarah?\u00a0 That\u2019s my name.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t know if Pa would approve of calling you that. He always says that I\u2019m supposed to call old people by their \u2026..I mean \u2026. um, not that you\u2019re old, but \u2026.well.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah smiled at him again. \u2018It\u2019s alright Joseph, I understand what you mean. I\u2019m sure your Pa won\u2019t mind as I gave you permission to do it. Is that alright with you?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sure.\u2019\u00a0 Joe thought for a moment. \u2018Ma\u2019am. I mean Sarah?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018If I call you by your first name, then could you not call me Joseph?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018What do you mean?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well Pa calls me that when he\u2019s mad with me, and I keep thinking I\u2019m in trouble when you say it. Can\u2019t you just call me Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe it is then.\u2019\u00a0 They smiled at each other.\u00a0 \u2018It\u2019s just that Joseph is such a lovely name, I really like it. Did your parents name you after someone?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yep,\u2019 he said stuffing more cookies into his mouth, \u2018Pa\u2019s father was Joseph, so I\u2019m named after him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Did you know your grandfather?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No ma\u2019am, I mean Sarah. He died a long time ago. All my grandparents did.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s a shame that you haven\u2019t had the chance to know them then.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders. \u2018I guess so.\u00a0 Never had any, so I don\u2019t really miss it, you know?\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah nodded. \u2018Yes I suppose it\u2019s different if you never knew the people involved.\u00a0 It\u2019s different when you remember them though.\u2019\u00a0 Her thoughts drifted back to Sam and once again her mind was a tumble of regrets about things they never had the chance to say or do before he was taken so cruelly from her.<\/p>\n

Joe studied the woman\u2019s face in front of him as he chewed. She seemed lost in thought and he thought about how sad she looked. \u2018Are you OK?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

Sarah shook herself a little and she turned back to him. \u2018I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 I was just thinking about someone, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Your husband?\u2019 asked Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u2018What makes you ask that?\u2019 asked Sarah a little sharply.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sorry, it\u2019s just that you had that look on your face.\u2019 The boy answered.<\/p>\n

\u2018That look?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, Pa gets it too when he talks about one of our mothers.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah stared at him. \u2018One of your mothers?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you have just one?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe laughed. \u2018Yes of course I did. But Pa\u2019s been married three times. We all have different mothers, me and Adam and Hoss.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh yes of course, I think someone told me that once.\u2019 Sarah replied. \u2018Your father has had a difficult life, poor man.\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe looked at the ground for a moment. \u2018Yeah I spose he has.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018How long ago did your mother die Joseph, I mean Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Eleven years ago.\u00a0 I was five.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you remember her?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t really know to tell you the truth.\u00a0 Sometimes I think I do, and then sometimes I think what I remember is what Pa and my brothers have told me about her mixed up in my mind. You know?\u2019\u00a0 He looked at Sarah with his head on one side, his eyes staring at her intently.\u00a0 He had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, and she guessed correctly that they must have been inherited from his mother, as Ben\u2019s were a deep chocolate brown.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Joe I think I do know what you mean.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s like that with my memories of Sam my husband as well, and I really have no reason not to remember him.\u2019 She sighed.<\/p>\n

Joe stood up, slightly embarrassed that he had said so much to a woman he didn\u2019t really know.\u00a0 \u2018I think I\u2019d better get back to work now,\u2019 he said. \u2018Pa said I have to make sure I get everything done that you need, and I shouldn\u2019t waste time.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well then you\u2019d better do as he said,\u2019 laughed Sarah.\u00a0 \u2018Wouldn\u2019t want you getting into trouble. I\u2019d hate to think that I was the reason for you not being able to sit down again.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe flushed slightly and grinned at her. \u2018No ma\u2019am, I mean Sarah. Pa really gets his point across if you know what I mean.\u2019 He began to climb the ladder again, as Sarah picked up the last of the cookies and bit into it.<\/p>\n

————————–<\/p>\n

During the next few days, little Joe got through a lot of chores for Sarah.\u00a0 After finishing the roof and fixing all the fences, he began to whitewash the barn as well. Sarah realised in those few days just how much she had missed the company of another person, and took the opportunity to talk to him while he worked.<\/p>\n

\u2018You know Joe your Pa was right, you really are a good worker,\u2019 she said one afternoon as she sat in the shade and watched him as he painted.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t have a choice living on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Pa makes sure that we all keep at it.\u00a0 He says that we can\u2019t expect the men to do anything we wouldn\u2019t do.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah smiled to hear him refer to himself as one of the men. \u2018How long have you been working on the ranch Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well fulltime, just these last few months.\u00a0 But as long as I can remember Pa has made sure that I had plenty of chores to do.\u00a0 He says that it\u2019s the only way to learn.\u00a0 He\u2019s always talking about hard work building character too.\u2019\u00a0 Joe sighed. \u2018Sometimes though, I think I\u2019d rather have less character and more free time.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah hid another smile. The boy\u2019s honesty amused her and she found herself quite taken with him. \u2018I\u2019m sure your Pa must be quite proud of the way you apply yourself though.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Trouble is Pa says I don\u2019t apply myself enough.\u2019 Joe looked at her earnestly from under his hat. \u2018I get in a lot of trouble you know.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I thought that might have been the case. The other day you looked as though you were very used to reprimands from your father.\u2019 Sarah said.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, Pa says that I test him to the limit at times. I don\u2019t mean to, but it seems like I just can\u2019t help myself. Seems like the older you get the more there is to remember about behaving. Everyone keeps reminding me about what to do so much, that most of the time I just don\u2019t listen.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I get into real trouble.\u2019\u00a0 He shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u2018From your Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018And my brothers. They can be real bossy at times you know. Have you met my brothers?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve met your older brother Adam in town a few times, but I don\u2019t remember ever having spoken to Hoss at all.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Nah, you probably didn\u2019t. Hoss is real shy with ladies. He\u2019d probably run a mile if he saw you coming. I\u2019m helpin\u2019 him to get over it.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Really?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah. I\u2019m teachin\u2019 him how to talk to girls. I\u2019m real good at it.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Are you?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah.\u00a0 I used to think that girls were real silly, but lately I\u2019m getting\u2019 kind of interested in them, you know?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I think I do.\u2019 Sarah was having trouble keeping a straight face. \u2018And are they interested in you?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh yeah. They think I\u2019m kind of good looking you know.\u2019 He stopped and flushed a little. \u2018I s\u2019pose that sounds big headed, doesn\u2019t it?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No not at all. I agree with them.\u2019 Sarah said.<\/p>\n

Joe pulled his hat down over his eyes and continued to paint. Sarah felt the awkward silence between them and tried to help him get over his embarrassment. \u2018So you and Hoss get on well then?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe grinned as he worked. \u2018Yeah, we\u2019re real good friends.\u00a0 Hoss has always looked after me.\u00a0 Adam has too, but we fight more.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh?\u00a0 Why is that?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t know really.\u00a0 Pa says it\u2019s because we\u2019re both stubborn.\u2019\u00a0 He bent over and whispered, \u2018Pa\u2019s a bit stubborn himself you know.\u2019 He frowned and looked over his shoulder as if expecting his father to come up behind him. \u2018Don\u2019t know why I said that, you won\u2019t tell him will you?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No of course I won\u2019t. I think it sounds like your family all try and take care of you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe sighed and sat down next to her. \u2018Yeah and sometimes I just wish they wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 I\u2019m grown up now, and I can look after myself, but they seem to think I\u2019m still a little kid, you know?\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah nodded. \u2018I\u2019m sure they\u2019re just trying to help you.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah I know, but I get real tired of being bossed around by all three of them.\u00a0 Being here for a few days is a good change.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at her shyly.\u00a0 \u2018I don\u2019t mind being bossed around by you cause you\u2019re nice.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well thank you Joe, I think you\u2019re quite nice yourself.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well what\u2019s all this?\u00a0 No work left for you Joseph?\u2019\u00a0 Joe jumped at the sound of his father\u2019s voice behind him and stood up.<\/p>\n

\u2018Uh, hi Pa.\u00a0 Sarah and me was just talking, while I took a break.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at his son with raised eyebrows, and then turned towards Sarah. \u2018Afternoon Sarah, how\u2019s this young son of mine working out? Has he been getting enough done?\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah stood as Ben dismounted. \u2018He certainly has. The roof and all the fences are all finished. He\u2019s a good worker.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Glad to hear it. Maybe you can continue to show us just how good you are Joseph, instead of just standing there.\u2019 Ben said with a twinkle in his eye.<\/p>\n

Joe continued to look at his father. \u2018What?\u00a0 Oh yeah, sure Pa.\u2019 He picked up the brush again and dipped it into the bucket of whitewash.<\/p>\n

Ben winked at Sarah who smiled at him. \u2018Would you like a drink Ben? Joe and I have just had one.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you that would be just fine,\u2019 he replied.<\/p>\n

Sarah motioned him over to the porch and went inside to get it.\u00a0 When she returned they sat together and watched the boy working. \u2018Thank you for lending him to me, he really has done a wonderful job.\u2019 Sarah said after a moment. \u2018He\u2019s a lovely boy you know, you should be very proud of him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well considering what brought him here in the first place, I\u2019m surprised to hear you say that.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I told you before, he didn\u2019t really mean it, Ben.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Whether he did or not, he still has to learn to pay for his mistakes.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah nodded. \u2018Oh I certainly agree.\u00a0 I think you do a wonderful job with him Ben. It must be very difficult for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded at her. \u2018It has been to be honest.\u00a0 He\u2019s the sort of boy who has always been a challenge.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s because he\u2019s the youngest and I\u2019m getting too old to deal with the pranks he pulls.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh I\u2019m sure that\u2019s not the case!\u00a0 You\u2019re not that old surely.\u2019 Sarah blushed and put her hand over her mouth. \u2018I think that Joe is rubbing off on me, listen to what I just said!\u2019 They both laughed and Little Joe looked over at them from where he was painting. He watched his father and Sarah, contemplating how happy they looked together. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by his father\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u2018Have you finished there Joseph?\u2019 Joe nodded as Ben stood up.\u00a0 \u2018Well then, Sarah, I\u2019ll take this youngster off your hands for the day.\u00a0 He still has his chores to do at home.\u2019\u00a0 Joe began to pack away the brushes as his father said goodbye to Sarah. \u2018I\u2019ll send him back again tomorrow, Sarah.\u00a0 Seems like you still have a few things that could use repairing around here.\u00a0 Keep him for as long as you like.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m very grateful to you Ben.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Actually I\u2019m the one who\u2019s grateful to you.\u00a0 These last few days have been very quiet at the ranch without that young man to worry about.\u00a0 As far as I\u2019m concerned you can have him for as long as you like. Life\u2019s a lot more peaceful without him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You don\u2019t really mean that.\u2019 Sarah said with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u2018No not really, I do miss the boy.\u2019\u00a0 Ben glanced over at his son with affection. \u2018He does kind of keep us on our toes though!\u2019<\/p>\n

As Joe walked towards his father and Sarah he heard their peals of laughter again, and smiled to think of them getting on so well together. He liked Sarah and it was nice to see his Pa look happy for a change.\u00a0 He smiled at them both and said to Sarah. \u2018See you tomorrow Sarah. I\u2019ll be back bright and early.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well, whatever magic do you have to get this one up early in the morning?\u2019 asked Ben with a twinkle in his eye as he put his arm around Little Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u2018We never have any success doing that at the ranch.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Goodbye Joe, see you tomorrow.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sarah\u2019s nice, ain\u2019t she Pa?\u2019 asked Little Joe when they had ridden down the road a little.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes son she is.\u2019 Ben replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018I feel kind of sorry for her cause she\u2019s got no husband and lives all alone.\u00a0 I think she\u2019s kind of lonely.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes she probably is.\u2019 Ben replied again.<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t you think we should invite her to dinner or something Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018What?\u00a0 Oh perhaps we should at some time.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018When?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018When what?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018When can we invite her to dinner?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, a woman like that would probably feel uncomfortable coming to dinner in an all-male household.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Why?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well \u2026she probably just would that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Can\u2019t I ask her?\u00a0 If she doesn\u2019t want to, then she\u2019ll just say no.\u2019 Joe asked beseechingly.<\/p>\n

\u2018If you want to, then fine.\u2019\u00a0 Ben wondered what had brought all this about. His son looked quite happy about something, but somehow Ben couldn\u2019t quite put his finger on what it might be.<\/p>\n

——————————<\/p>\n

\u2018So will you come?\u2019 Joe asked again, giving Sarah a pleading look.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t know Joe.\u00a0 I mean dinner at the Ponderosa sounds lovely, but well \u2026.. Your Pa might think it a little strange that you had asked me.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, Pa specially wants you to come. He said I should ask you.\u2019 Joe replied. He wasn\u2019t prepared to quite tell the entire truth about how the invitation had come about. \u2018He\u2019ll be real disappointed if you don\u2019t come.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah looked at him for a moment. \u2018You\u2019re sure that your Pa said that?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa would really like you to come.\u2019\u00a0 Joe avoided answering the question directly.<\/p>\n

\u2018Well then I\u2019d love to.\u2019 Sarah replied with a smile, and Joe thought just how nice her smile was.<\/p>\n

\u2018She said she\u2019d come.\u2019 Joe let his father know that night as they were having supper. \u2018She said she would love to.\u2019<\/p>\n

Hoss stopped chewing and looked at his little brother. \u2018Why\u2019s she comin anyway?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe kicked him under the table. \u2018Ow, what was that for?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sorry Hoss, my foot slipped.\u2019 Little Joe glared at his brother meaningfully, but Hoss failed to get the significance of the look.<\/p>\n

\u2018So, why\u2019s she comin?\u2019\u00a0 He repeated.<\/p>\n

Ben looked at Little Joe before replying. \u2018It was Joe\u2019s idea.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam chewed thoughtfully \u2018She\u2019s a little old for you younger brother, don\u2019t you think?\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe blushed. \u2018Don\u2019t be dumb Adam!\u00a0 She\u2019s just nice that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Pa thinks so, don\u2019t you Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben put down his coffee cup. \u2018Yes Joseph, I said she was very nice.\u00a0 Tragic circumstances surrounding her husband\u2019s death, poor woman.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t think she\u2019s ever gotten over it really,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Anytime I\u2019ve seen her in town she always looks so depressed.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018She\u2019s not any more.\u2019 Little Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018What do you mean?\u2019 Ben asked, putting down his cup and looking at his youngest son who was grinning widely.<\/p>\n

\u2018Nothing.\u2019 Little Joe replied. \u2018It\u2019s just that she doesn\u2019t look depressed any more, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam snorted. \u2018It\u2019s a wonder she\u2019s not really depressed with you under her feet all day!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Very funny!\u2019 Little Joe replied glaring at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph if all you can do is fight with your brothers tonight instead of eating, then you\u2019d better leave the table.\u2019 His father admonished.<\/p>\n

\u2018But Pa!\u00a0 Adam said \u2026..\u2019 Joe was silenced by a look from his father, and he sighed as he stood up from the table.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ve finished anyway.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to go into the kitchen. \u2018I\u2019ll let Hop Sing know about Sarah coming.\u2019<\/p>\n

Moments later he and the cook had their heads together in the kitchen, Joe whispering conspiratorially. \u2018So it\u2019s got to be a special dinner cause if she likes it, then she might like our family better.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Why you want her like family so much?\u2019 Hop Sing asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018So that she\u2019ll like Pa better of course.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Why you want she like Mr Cartwright better?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes and explained patiently. \u2018Cause they\u2019re both lonely.\u00a0 They might be good for each other, don\u2019t you think?\u2019<\/p>\n

Hop Sing frowned before replying. \u2018Maybe.\u00a0 Hop Sing not decide until meet lady.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh you\u2019ll like her alright, Hop Sing.\u00a0 She\u2019s real nice.\u2019\u00a0 Little Joe replied with a grin.<\/p>\n

—————————<\/p>\n

As they sat at the table that Friday, night, Little Joe caught the look that Hop Sing gave him behind Ben\u2019s back, and winked back at the cook. He knew he could count on Hop Sing to be on his side!\u00a0 It was obvious that he was also smitten with the lady.<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben this is a truly beautiful home!\u2019 Sarah exclaimed as they drank the coffee that Hop Sing had served at the end of the meal. \u2018It must have taken a lot of men to build it.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa built it himself.\u2019\u00a0 Little Joe interrupted. \u2018He\u2019s real clever with things like that.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph you make it sound like I did all the work personally. I did have quite a bit of help you know.\u2019 Ben admonished.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, me for one.\u2019 said Adam dryly and they all laughed.<\/p>\n

\u2018Did you design it yourself Ben?\u2019 Sarah asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Partly.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s mother had the main say in what it was to look like.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018She must have been a remarkable lady.\u2019 Sarah answered, smiling at Little Joe who grinned back at her.<\/p>\n

\u2018That she was,\u2019 answered Ben.\u00a0 \u2018She was a very clever woman and a wonderful mother to the boys as well.\u00a0 Joseph, get her photo from my desk and show it to Sarah please.\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe stood to do as his father bid, and handed the silver framed photo to Sarah. \u2018Heavens,\u2019 she exclaimed. \u2018You certainly look like her Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his youngest boy. \u2018Joe is very like his mother in many ways,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure he is.\u00a0 I think your mother would be very proud of you Joe.\u2019 Sarah said sweetly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence for a moment around the table. \u2018He really has done a lot of work at my house for me Ben.\u00a0 You were right about him being a good worker.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Are you sure you\u2019re talking about my little brother?\u2019 asked Hoss, feigning surprise. \u2018Seems like the only time he does good work is when he\u2019s forced to.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Ah yes, but remember he is being forced to at the moment,\u2019 said Adam with a grin on his face. \u2018Bet that\u2019ll teach him to go into a saloon by himself again.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe glared at his brother for reminding his father of the fact.<\/p>\n

Sarah interrupted them as she stood up from the table. \u2018Ben I\u2019m sorry but I really should be going now.\u00a0 It\u2019s getting late.\u00a0 \u2018The meal was just wonderful Hop Sing, thank you.\u2019<\/p>\n

The four Cartwright men stood as well. \u2018Would you like me to drive you back home ma\u2019am?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

Little Joe interrupted him. \u2018Pa, didn\u2019t you say that you was gonna do that?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben stared at his youngest son for a moment. \u2018I\u2019d be very pleased to drive you home Sarah.\u00a0 \u2018Hoss, would you bring the buggy around please?\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe smiled as Adam looked at him quizzically. \u2018Good night Adam, lovely seeing you,\u2019 said Sarah. \u2018See you tomorrow Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Good night,\u2019 said Adam, and sat down at the table again opposite his brother as she and their father left the room.\u00a0 \u2018Well, what was all that about?\u2019 he asked Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u2018All what?\u2019\u00a0 his younger brother replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018You know exactly what I\u2019m talking about.\u00a0 You weren\u2019t half obvious about it. Why are you so keen on getting Pa and her together?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Cause she\u2019s nice, don\u2019t you think?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes, I agree.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t mean that Pa necessarily thinks so.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You heard him the other night.\u00a0 He likes her.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes he likes her. But there\u2019s an awful lot of difference in liking someone and what you have planned.\u2019 replied Adam.<\/p>\n

\u2018I think they\u2019d be good together.\u00a0 They\u2019re both lonely, and they like each other.\u00a0 What more do you want?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe there\u2019s a big difference between liking someone and wanting to be a part of their life. Let Pa make his own choices for heavens sake.\u2019<\/p>\n

Little Joe just grinned at him and finished off his coffee.<\/p>\n

————————–<\/p>\n

At that moment Ben was also trying to explain his son\u2019s action to Sarah. \u2018I\u2019m sorry about all that Sarah, it was quite obvious what the boy was trying to do.\u00a0 Much and all as Joseph pretends that he is grown up and sophisticated he is still very much a boy most of the time.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry about it Ben.\u00a0 I had a fairly good idea that the night was a bit of a ruse by him to get you and I closer.\u00a0 I was prepared to go along with it really because I wanted to have a look at your beautiful home that I\u2019ve heard so much about, to be honest.\u2019\u00a0 She smiled into the darkness. \u2018It really is as beautiful as people have led me to believe.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well I just hope he didn\u2019t make things too uncomfortable for you, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe could never do that.\u00a0 I think too much of him. I really don\u2019t know what I\u2019ll do without his company when the time comes for him to finish work at my place,\u2019 replied Sarah.<\/p>\n

\u2018I told you before to keep him as long as you need him,\u2019 said Ben.<\/p>\n

\u2018I know, but really things are pretty well up to date around my house now, and to be honest I\u2019m finding it difficult to think of things for him to do,\u2019 she replied. \u2018I\u2019ll have to stop him coming after tomorrow I think.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben grinned at her. \u2018That\u2019s a fine way to repay me for the meal tonight.\u00a0 Giving me back my son to worry about again.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll survive the challenge,\u2019 she laughed.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes, but sometimes I\u2019m not so sure that Joseph will.\u00a0 One way or the other, if that boy ever reaches it to manhood it will be a miracle.\u2019 The sound of their laughter filled the darkness around them as the buggy slowly made it\u2019s way towards Sarah\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

———————–<\/p>\n

Sarah was surprised by the knock on the door.\u00a0 She glanced at the clock which read 11am, and wondered who could possibly be announcing themselves at his time.\u00a0 She opened it to see Little Joe standing sheepishly on the porch with his hands behind his back.<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, hello!\u00a0 What brings you out here?\u2019 she asked, quite pleased to see him.\u00a0 Since he had finished up the work at her house a few days ago, she had missed the boy.<\/p>\n

Joe pulled his hat down over his eyes and slowly pulled out a bunch of wildflowers from behind his back with the other hand.\u00a0 \u2018Thought you might like these.\u00a0 You said you liked flowers and there are plenty of these up on the hill over there.\u2019 He waved his arm vaguely in the direction of the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

\u2018Why they\u2019re just beautiful.\u00a0 Thank you, I do like them. Come in and have a drink?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe took off his hat eagerly and stepped quickly into the house. \u2018Any more chores you need doing?\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah hid a smile. \u2018Not since two days ago, no. At least none that I can think of.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe put his head on the side and looked at her. \u2018Well if you do, you know who to come to.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I certainly do.\u00a0 Thank you Joe\u2019 said Sarah as she placed a glass on the table for him. \u2018Now what have you been up to in the last few days?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Working mostly.\u00a0 Although Pa finally let me back into town yesterday with Hoss to get supplies.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You must have missed being in town, although it\u2019s a pity you had to work while you were there though.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah.\u00a0 Although it\u2019s easy when I\u2019m with Hoss.\u00a0 I can usually trick him into doing all the work for me while I look around.\u2019\u00a0 Joe stopped abruptly when he realised what he had said. \u2018I mean, he likes to do the work all by himself.\u00a0 I usually go and talk to people to give him the chance to do it uninterrupted.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at her to see if she was accepting his explanation.\u00a0 When Sarah didn\u2019t react he kept going. \u2018There were lots of people in town today. People were glad to see me back.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You mean girls were glad to see you back?\u2019 asked Sarah.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, lots of them were.\u2019 Joe frowned at something and fiddled with the glass in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u2018One of them wasn\u2019t, was she?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018How did you know that?\u2019 asked Joe looking up surprised.<\/p>\n

Sarah shrugged. \u2018Just a thought. Who was it?\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe sat up straight in his chair. \u2018Julie Higgins.\u00a0 Do you know her?\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah nodded her head. \u2018She\u2019s Paul Higgin\u2019s daughter isn\u2019t she?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes. Well anyway I used to go to school with her.\u00a0 We always got on OK, and she\u2019s real nice looking, you know?\u2019 He looked at Sarah with that lopsided tilt of his head that she had begun to know so well. \u2018Anyway when I was in town today she wouldn\u2019t even speak to me. Every time I went to talk to her she just started giggling with her friends.\u2019 He shook his head. \u2018She\u2019s changed lately.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Maybe it\u2019s because she\u2019s embarrassed.\u2019\u00a0 Sarah suggested<\/p>\n

\u2018Embarrassed about what?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Talking to you in public.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018But she\u2019s talked to me lots of times.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018How old is this girl Joe?\u2019 Sarah asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Sixteen, same as me.\u2019 He replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe sometimes girls of that age don\u2019t quite know how to talk to boys.\u00a0 Especially in front of their friends.\u00a0 Maybe if you tried to talk to her when she\u2019s by herself she might respond to you better.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You think so?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Mmm, I do,\u2019 said Sarah with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u2018Well I\u2019ll try it then.\u00a0 Hey, how come you know so much about girls anyway?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I think it\u2019s because I was one myself.\u2019 Sarah replied with a gentle smile. She had a sudden urge to ruffle his unruly curls.<\/p>\n

He smiled at her. \u2018Oh yeah, I guess you was wasn\u2019t you?\u2019 They both laughed together. \u2018You know what Sarah?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No what?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s nice having someone to ask about girls.\u00a0 My brothers would just make fun of me if I asked them.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sure your Pa wouldn\u2019t though.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, guess he wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 But Pa\u2019s just so \u2026. well, you know.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No I don\u2019t know. What is he?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well he\u2019s just old. I don\u2019t think he\u2019d understand about girls.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph Cartwright! Your Pa has been married three times.\u00a0 If anyone understands about girls, then I think he would qualify.\u2019 Sarah said wagging her finger at him.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah I know but, well \u2026. That was a long time ago.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s something you don\u2019t forget.\u2019 Sarah said. \u2018He\u2019s a lovely man, I\u2019m sure he\u2019d listen to you if you needed advice about girls.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you really think he\u2019s lovely?\u2019 asked Joe, his green eyes lighting up.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I do.\u00a0 But not in the way you are thinking.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018In what way then?\u2019 Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018He is very sweet, much like you are.\u2019 Joe blushed. \u2018But it doesn\u2019t mean that we are interested in each other romantically Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018But you could be, couldn\u2019t you?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t you ever give up?\u2019\u00a0 This time she gave into the temptation and ruffled his curls.\u00a0 To her surprise he didn\u2019t seem at all surprised by the gesture and merely smiled at her again. It was strange, she thought, how she was beginning to feel quite protective towards this boy. He seemed to bring out feelings in her that she had only allowed herself to have in her dreams, and she was quite surprised to feel them now in reality.<\/p>\n

Later on that morning after he had left and she was arranging the flowers he had brought in a vase, she smiled to think of the boy\u2019s earnestness. He had such energy and a love of life that it was infectious.\u00a0 There was an innocence to him that she found so very appealing. It was an innocence that was not a naivety, but merely a way of looking at things in a guileless way. It was an innocence that was very special, and made Sarah long for past days when life had been so simple for her as well.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018I suppose there\u2019s no point in asking what you\u2019re doing with your afternoon off Joseph?\u2019 Ben asked with a smile on his face. He knew very well what the answer would be.<\/p>\n

\u2018I thought I\u2019d see if Sarah wanted to go riding.\u2019 His youngest son answered with his mouth full.<\/p>\n

\u2018Somehow I thought you might, answered his father, trying to hide his amusement behind his coffee cup.\u00a0 For the past month, little Joe had been giving Sarah riding lessons on one of their mares, and he was taking the responsibility very seriously. Since he had found out that she couldn\u2019t ride well, he had seen it as his duty to ensure that she could, and as with most things in life would not be talked out of it.<\/p>\n

\u2018How are the lessons coming?\u2019 asked Adam.<\/p>\n

\u2018Good. She\u2019s a good rider really, she just needs confidence,\u2019 replied his little brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019d better go. She\u2019ll be waiting for me.\u2019 \u00a0He stood up and excused himself from the table, then bounded across the room and shut the front door with a bang.<\/p>\n

Ben laughed. \u2018That boy will never learn to move without a ruckus.\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u2018Pa, do you think he should be doing this?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Doing what?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Spending so much time with Sarah. He doesn\u2019t seem to do much else lately, and I just wonder if it\u2019s good for him to spend so much time with her.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Why ever not?\u2019 asked Ben with a frown.<\/p>\n

\u2018Well he never seems to want to go into town any more or even see his friends much.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018And that\u2019s a bad thing?\u2019 Ben replied with a smile.\u00a0 \u2018I seem to remember you complaining that all he wanted to do was waste his time with his friends in town before he got to know Sarah.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I know, but it just seems to me that he should have friends his own age, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t think he sees Sarah as a friend really, Adam.\u2019 Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u2018What? You don\u2019t mean \u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No of course not!\u00a0 But I do think he sees her as a sort of mother substitute in a way.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018But she\u2019s not his mother.\u2019 Adam protested.<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course she\u2019s not.\u00a0 Does she have to be? All I know is that she seems to be a calming influence on him, and that has got to be a positive thing.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I suppose so.\u2019 Adam replied. \u2018I just don\u2019t think that he should be so dependent on her. You know how he gets sometimes, so intense on things that he can\u2019t see around them.\u00a0 He could end up being hurt Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes he could.\u00a0 But what would you have me do Adam? Stop him from seeing her?\u2019<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged his shoulders. \u2018No of course not. I don\u2019t know. Forget it Pa.\u2019 He stood up and left the table.<\/p>\n

Ben sat deep in thought.\u00a0 In a way he agreed with Adam.\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s friendship with Sarah had worried him a little too.\u00a0 The boy had suffered from not having a mother, and now that he had found a woman who was filling a gap in his life, how could Ben take that away from him? A mother\u2019s love was something that Joseph had never known, and he felt that he was reaching for a substitute now. Maybe he would be hurt in the long run, but surely he had a right to form an attachment to this woman if he felt the need to.<\/p>\n

Ben sighed. There was no easy answer to this one.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

\u2018Come on, you can do it!\u2019 Little Joe urged Sarah down the hill after him. She followed willingly, gathering speed as she went.\u00a0 As they reached the bottom she pulled in the reins and turned to him laughing, her eyes bright and sparkling.\u00a0 \u2018That was wonderful Joe! I really didn\u2019t think I could do it though!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I knew you could. You\u2019ve got the skills now, you just need the confidence, that\u2019s all.\u2019 Joe replied.<\/p>\n

Sarah wondered if he knew just how meaningful his words were.\u00a0 This newfound riding skill had shown her that she did have confidence after all.\u00a0 She realised now that it was a lack of confidence that had been the problem in her life during the last two years.\u00a0 Of course she missed Sam dreadfully and of course she wished he was still here, but the reason she had not been ready to move on with her life had been because she lacked the confidence to do so on her own.\u00a0 She knew that now.<\/p>\n

She had always allowed Sam to take the lead in their marriage and make the major decisions.\u00a0 It had seemed natural to her that with no children to care for, the major decisions had always been his to make.\u00a0 Since his death she had found it incredibly difficult to carry on with making those decisions herself, and it had taken a sixteen-year-old boy to show her that she was capable of coming out of her shell to do so. She would be eternally grateful to this special youngster for showing her just what she could do.<\/p>\n

Sarah thought about all the missed opportunities she had had in life.\u00a0 It was true that she had been so happy with Sam, but she had never had the opportunity to experience the joys of motherhood.\u00a0 It was something that she had ached for.\u00a0 Every time she had needed to congratulate a new mother she had felt the loss so sharply that she found it difficult to be glad for them.\u00a0 She had always longed to have a connectedness to another life that was a part of hers, to have the opportunity to shape a little mind and body, to watch it grow. But it was not to be.\u00a0 She and Sam had never been blessed with a child, and she had never stopped feeling the loss.<\/p>\n

Sarah wondered if Joe was in fact stirring up those feelings within her that she had for years been trying to suppress.\u00a0 The maternal instincts that are in every woman and somehow been lying dormant within her. All she knew for sure was that this young man was in her mind and she couldn\u2019t seem to let go of him, and she sensed that it was in fact the same for him.\u00a0 Whether he realised it or not, young Joe Cartwright was searching for a mother figure in his life.<\/p>\n

She was shaken out of her reflections by Joe\u2019s insistent voice next to her. \u2018Sarah?\u2019<\/p>\n

She turned to him. \u2018Yes Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I want to show you something.\u00a0 Can you ride down this way?\u2019<\/p>\n

She turned her horse and followed him down the steep incline towards the blue lake that was stretched before them.\u00a0 They passed through a shaded area of pines and emerged into a clearing that bordered onto the lake itself.\u00a0 Sarah took a moment to stop and drink in the freshness around her, and marvel at the sparkling water in front of her.<\/p>\n

\u2018This is beautiful Joe.\u2019 She breathed. \u2018What a wonderful view.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe looked around him as well. \u2018It\u2019s my favourite place on the Ponderosa. Come on and I\u2019ll show you why.\u2019\u00a0 He led her to the right and around a rocky outcrop, and into another clearing that was covered with soft grass.\u00a0 It was here that he stopped and helped her down from her horse. She followed him towards the lake, and they stopped at a stone marker on a small grassy knoll. Sarah knew instantly what it was without being told.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s my mother\u2019s grave,\u2019 said Joe quietly.\u00a0 I like to come here and talk to her sometimes.\u2019\u00a0 They sat next to the marker, and Sarah read the inscription:<\/p>\n

Marie Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

Beloved wife and mother<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Died 1848<\/em><\/p>\n

They sat in silence for a few moments, and Joe pulled up a few wildflowers beside him and put them on top of the grave. \u2018Sarah?\u2019 he raised his green eyes and searched her face.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Joe?\u2019 she put her hand on his knee.<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you remember what I said once before when we were talking about people we never knew?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s not true you know. You do miss them even if you didn\u2019t really know them very well.\u2019 His eyes shone with unshed tears, and he brushed his sleeve across his face to hide the fact. \u2018I wish I could have known her \u2026.. you know, not just as a little kid.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I do know Joe.\u00a0 But I think she knows about you and that must be a comfort to you at least.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s what Pa says too.\u2019\u00a0 Joe replied looking at the marker. \u2018He says that she knows all about me as I\u2019ve been growing up, and that she looks after me.\u2019 He sighed. \u2018But it\u2019s not the same, you know?\u2019\u00a0 Sarah nodded and put her arm around his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u2018When I was little I really wanted her to come back.\u00a0 I guess I didn\u2019t understand that she couldn\u2019t, and I was angry.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You were too young to understand Joe,\u2019 answered Sarah quietly stroking his curls.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes but at least that was better than the way it is now,\u2019 he answered, the tears falling unchecked down his cheeks as he looked at her. \u2018Now I understand properly and it doesn\u2019t make it any better.\u00a0 Sometimes when I see my friends with their mothers it hurts so much. I just don\u2019t remember what it was like, and I want to have some memories of her at least.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah drew him to her and pulled his head down onto her shoulder as she stroked his hair. \u2018Joe nothing will ever bring her back to you.\u00a0 But at least you have your father and brothers.\u2019<\/p>\n

He sniffed. \u2018Yes, Pa and Adam and Hoss are real good to me too, but \u2026\u2026\u2019 his voice trailed away.<\/p>\n

\u2018But they aren\u2019t her, are they?\u2019 Sarah said softly.<\/p>\n

He lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes. \u2018No.\u2019 he whispered. \u2018No they\u2019re not her.\u2019<\/p>\n

They sat in silence for a few moments and looked at the lake. Joe reached down and picked a single wildflower and handed it to Sarah. She wished that there was something she could say that would change the situation or make it better, but she knew that there wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 This boy had been carrying around this sadness most of his life, and it would never leave him.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/strong><\/p>\n

The noise from the street drifted into the bank where Sarah was waiting patiently for the teller to finish. \u2018Thank you,\u2019 she said as he handed her the money she had asked for, and smiled at him. \u2018Have a lovely day.\u2019\u00a0 The young man looked at her with surprise.\u00a0 Usually Mrs Miller was a bit more reserved than that and hardly acknowledged him at all.<\/p>\n

Sarah blinked in the sunlight as she emerged from the bank and scanned the street.\u00a0 She turned sharply as she heard her name, and smiled to see Daisy hurrying towards her. \u2018Hello Daisy,\u2019 she said with a huge smile. \u2018How are you today?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m fine. No need to ask how you are though, you look wonderful.\u2019 Daisy looked at her friend appraisingly.<\/p>\n

\u2018I feel wonderful.\u2019 Sarah replied. \u2018Isn\u2019t it busy today?\u00a0 All these people around makes me just want to stay in town all day.\u2019 She looked around at the rush around her with sparkling eyes.<\/p>\n

Daisy raised her eyebrows at her friend. \u2018Really? You usually can hardly wait to get out of here and back home again. What\u2019s so different about today?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Nothing really, can\u2019t I just be happy?\u2019 Sarah teased with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course you can, and it\u2019s wonderful to see it.\u2019 Daisy smiled back at her. \u2018Come on back to my place and we\u2019ll sit and have a talk.\u2019 The two friends linked arms and commenced to stroll up the street. \u2018Now tell me what\u2019s been happening with you lately?\u00a0 That young Cartwright boy still making a nuisance of himself?\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah threw back her head and laughed. \u2018No, never! He\u2019s just such a lovely young boy Daisy. I\u2019m very lucky to have had the chance to get to know him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Hmm. Well all I can say is watch out that he doesn\u2019t ask to borrow your buggy.\u2019\u00a0 The two friends giggled together and entered Daisy\u2019s kitchen where they sat down. \u2018So, have you heard from John yet?\u2019 Daisy asked when they were seated.<\/p>\n

\u2018No not yet, but it\u2019s only been a week,\u2019 Sarah replied. \u2018The mail isn\u2019t that quick from San Francisco.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I think it\u2019s a wonderful idea,\u2019 said Daisy. \u2018It\u2019s time you got out of here and made a new life for yourself. Your brother John and his wife will be glad to have you for a while I\u2019m sure, and you\u2019ll make lots of new friends in San Francisco.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Daisy it\u2019s only to see if it suits me.\u00a0 Who knows, I might decide to come back.\u2019 Her eyes took on a faraway look. \u2018There are a few things around here that I\u2019ll miss you know.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I hope that includes me,\u2019 Daisy said.<\/p>\n

Sarah reached out and put her hand on her friend\u2019s arm. \u2018Of course it does. But I was thinking of a few other people as well.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Didn\u2019t know you really had many friends around here at all,\u2019 replied Daisy.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t really.\u00a0 But the ones I have are very special to me.\u2019\u00a0 Sarah smiled sadly. \u2018I\u2019ll miss the special ones.\u2019<\/p>\n

They turned when they heard the soft tinkle of the bell that was attached to the front door, and were startled to see Ben Cartwright standing there. Daisy jumped up. \u2018Mr Cartwright, what brings you in here today?\u2019 she asked with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben took off his hat and smiled at both the women. \u2018Good morning ladies. Hope you\u2019re both well. Actually I saw you both coming in, and I was wondering if perhaps Sarah you might have a few moments to talk?\u2019 he looked inquiringly in her direction.<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course I do Ben,\u2019 she answered.<\/p>\n

Daisy backed away. \u2018I\u2019ll just go and get some \u2026.. I\u2019ve got things to do.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave you both for a while.\u2019\u00a0 she murmured.<\/p>\n

Sarah giggled as Ben sat down next to her. \u2018Now you\u2019ve got her wondering. I hope you\u2019re ready for a bit of gossip, Ben.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry Sarah.\u00a0 I think my name has been coupled with just about every single woman who has ever set foot in Virginia City. I\u2019m used to it.\u2019 Ben laughed. \u2018My youngest son might just welcome the gossip as well.\u00a0 He still hasn\u2019t given up on us you know.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know,\u2019 replied Sarah. \u2018I think he would like to see me in his family officially.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s smile faded. \u2018Actually Sarah, that\u2019s what I wanted to talk to you about.\u00a0 Joseph seems quite taken with you, I\u2019m sure you\u2019re aware of that fact.\u2019 She nodded. \u2018I think you\u2019re a very good influence on him, if the truth be known.\u00a0 Since he\u2019s known you he hasn\u2019t been in nearly as much trouble, and he has been a lot calmer lately.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m glad.\u00a0 He\u2019s such a wonderful boy Ben, and you really should be very proud of him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I am,\u2019 Ben replied, \u2018but I worry about him too.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if he\u2019s told you much about his mother\u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes he has as a matter of fact.\u00a0 He took me to her grave and we had quite a long talk there.\u2019 Sarah replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018He took you to her grave?\u2019 Ben asked surprised. \u2018He has never done that with anyone before.\u2019 He thought for a moment. \u2018That worries me.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018How so?\u2019 Sarah asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018It just shows how close he is getting to you. Please don\u2019t take this the wrong way Sarah,\u2019 Ben continued, \u2018but I am concerned that he\u2019s becoming too dependent on you.\u00a0 You see Joseph has always missed not having a mother, and I feel that he is reaching towards you as a sort of substitute.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Actually Ben I have been feeling the same thing,\u2019 replied Sarah. \u2018It\u2019s one of the reasons I have decided to go away for a while.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Really?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes.\u00a0 I\u2019ve asked my brother John if I could stay with he and his wife in San Francisco for a while until I work out what I want to do with my life.\u00a0 You see, since knowing your son I have come to realise that there is more to life then just existing.\u00a0 He has a great zest for living Ben, and I guess that some of that has rubbed off on me.\u00a0 All I know is that I feel like I want to go out and experience more of living now.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at her. \u2018I\u2019m glad for you Sarah, and I think it will be good for you. Good for Joseph in the long run too, although I know he will find your leaving hard. When do you intend to go?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018As soon as I hear from John, which will probably be in a couple of days. I will make sure that I say goodbye to Joe before I do go, though.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Be prepared for him to be upset,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018He has grown so fond of you, I dread to think how he\u2019ll take this.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve grown so very fond of him too,\u2019 replied Sarah. \u2018I\u2019ll find it difficult to say goodbye to him as well. You have a very special son there Ben, but I think you know that.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I certainly do,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018I\u2019d like to thank you for giving him your friendship during these last few weeks Sarah.\u00a0 He has never had a woman like you in his life, and I know that he\u2019ll always remember you fondly.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you think it would be alright if he came to visit me in San Francisco when I get settled?\u2019 she asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course it would,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018I\u2019ll bring him there myself.\u2019 He stood to leave and held out his hand. \u2018Goodbye Sarah, until we meet again.\u2019<\/p>\n

She held his hand for a moment and looked into his eyes. \u2018Goodbye Ben Cartwright. Take care of that boy for me.\u2019<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

\u2018But why do you have to go? I don\u2019t understand.\u2019 Joe looked at Sarah and his eyes filled with tears.\u00a0 He brushed them away impatiently and glared at her accusingly.<\/p>\n

\u2018I need to go and see my brother in San Francisco for a while Joe, I haven\u2019t seen him in a long time.\u2019<\/p>\n

When will you be back?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t really know.\u00a0 I think I will end up staying there quite a long time.\u2019\u00a0 Joe stared at her. \u2018I really need to sort my life out Joe, and I feel the need to spread my wings a little.\u00a0 Do you understand what I mean?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sure.\u2019\u00a0 Joe stood up abruptly and moved towards the door. \u2018Have a nice time.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sarah moved quickly after him and held onto his arm. \u2018Joe please listen to me. I don\u2019t want to hurt you \u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

He shrugged his shoulders and shook off her arm. \u2018You\u2019re not hurting me.\u00a0 Why would you think that you are?\u2019\u00a0 He gave her an angry look. \u2018Go if you want to, it doesn\u2019t worry me at all.\u2019\u00a0 He opened the door and strode out.\u00a0 Sarah ran after him and called to him, but her words were lost to him as he galloped away.<\/p>\n

—————–<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe? Breakfast is ready. Come on downstairs now son.\u2019 Ben looked around the bedroom door to see the bed empty and his youngest son standing by the window looking out at the lake spread below them. When he didn\u2019t move, Ben entered the room. \u2018Joe? It\u2019s time for breakfast.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m not hungry.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben walked over to him and pulled him away from the window by the arm. \u2018Sit down on the bed. Come on.\u2019 He patted the boy on the arm and sat down next to him. \u2018Joe I know you are upset that Sarah is leaving today, but \u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not upset!\u2019 Joe glared at his father, his green eyes flashing. \u2018I really don\u2019t care if she goes or not.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben bit his lip and continued. \u2018Joe there is still time to go and see her off if you want to.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I think it would be a good idea if you did, his father continued.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to him. \u2018Why should I? She doesn\u2019t care about me, so why should I care about saying goodbye to her?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sarah does care about you Joe, you know that she does. She has become very close to you these last few weeks as I know you have to her.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Then why is she going?\u2019 the boy asked pleadingly. \u2018If she cared then she wouldn\u2019t leave.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, Sarah doesn\u2019t belong to you. She has her own life to live, and she needs to do that in San Francisco. She has to go.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Everyone always has to go, don\u2019t they? Nobody ever stops to consider about me!\u2019 Joe felt the tears falling and couldn\u2019t do anything to stop them. \u2018What about what I want Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, surely you can\u2019t expect everyone to live according to what you want. Sarah has to live her life her own way.\u2019\u00a0 Ben stroked the back of his son\u2019s neck in a comforting gesture.<\/p>\n

\u2018I know, but it\u2019s just that I \u2026\u2026\u2019 the boy\u2019s voice trailed away and he sat with his head bowed.<\/p>\n

\u2018I know,\u2019 said his father. \u2018It\u2019s hard Joe, but sometimes we just have to let go of people we love.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe lifted his head and stared at his father intently. \u2018I do love her Pa,\u2019 he whispered.<\/p>\n

\u2018I know you do. Don\u2019t you think she would like to hear that before she goes?\u2019 Joe sat in silence. \u2018Would you like me to ride into town with you to see her off?\u2019 Ben continued.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded while the tears fell unchecked from his face. \u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

Sarah handed the driver her ticket and adjusted her hat as she smiled at Daisy. \u2018Thank you so much for everything Daisy.\u2019 She scanned the street hopefully one last time. \u2018Would you please let Ben know that I said goodbye to him and Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n

Daisy flung her arms around her friend as she replied. \u2018Of course.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you worry about that boy now, dear. He\u2019ll survive.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know he will, it\u2019s just that \u2026.\u2019 She stopped as she saw a familiar pinto come around the bend in the street, followed closely by Ben. She smiled broadly as she continued. \u2018Looks like I\u2019ll be able to deliver that message myself after all.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe dismounted and walked towards Sarah, holding out a bunch of wildflowers in front of him. \u00a0\u2018I thought you might like these for the journey.\u00a0 There\u2019s lots of them up there still and you always said that you \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 He stopped unable to go on, and looked down at the dusty street at his feet.<\/p>\n

Sarah reached out for them and pulled him towards her as she did. \u2018Thank you Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll always remember you every time I see wildflowers.\u00a0 You\u2019ve brought me quite a few haven\u2019t you?\u2019<\/p>\n

He nodded as he buried his head into her shoulder. \u2018I know you like em that\u2019s all.\u2019 He whispered.<\/p>\n

Sarah drew back from him and held his face between his two hands. \u2018I love you Joe, do you know that? I love you with a very special kind of love. I always will.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed and bit his lip. \u2018I love you too Sarah.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Your Pa says that he\u2019ll bring you to visit me in San Francisco soon.\u00a0 So we\u2019re not really saying goodbye are we?\u2019 Joe shook his head as the tears began to fall. \u2018I\u2019ll write and let you know when. Alright?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Goodbye Joe.\u00a0 Until we meet again.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe gave her one last hug. \u2018Goodbye Sarah, I love you.\u2019\u00a0 He turned and walked a few steps away.<\/p>\n

\u2018Safe trip Sarah,\u2019 said Ben as he helped her up into the stagecoach. He turned as the stage began to move slowly away, and stood next to his boy with an arm around his shoulder.\u00a0 Their last sight of the stage as it rounded the corner was of a small bunch of wildflowers waving at them from the window.<\/p>\n

———————-<\/p>\n

As Ben put the letter back into his pocket, he fingered the postmark from San Francisco for a moment.\u00a0 Gazing down the slope he saw Joe stooping to pick another few flowers to add to the posy he already held, and then straighten up. As he walked down towards his son he watched him squat next to his mother\u2019s grave and place the flowers on it, then look up as he heard his father\u2019s approach.<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh hi Pa, I didn\u2019t know you was coming out this way.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I was looking for you son.\u2019 Ben replied sitting down next to him.<\/p>\n

\u2018Why? What did I do?\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked at his father uneasily.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him and put his arm around his shoulders. \u2018I didn\u2019t say you did anything.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked across the sparkling waters for a moment before he continued. \u2018Sure is a pretty day.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father, puzzled. \u2018You sure didn\u2019t come out here just to tell me that.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u2018No I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Actually I came to tell you there was a letter from San Francisco today in the mail.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe sat up straight, his eyes shining. \u2018From Sarah?\u00a0 How is she?\u00a0 Did she say when she wants us to come there?\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his father. \u2018Pa? What did Sarah say?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Ben turned to face his son. \u2018Actually Joe it\u2019s not from Sarah.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Not from Sarah?\u00a0 Then who is it from?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Her brother John.\u2019 There was silence as Joe digested this information. \u2018Why\u2019s he writing to us? Why didn\u2019t Sarah write Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, John wrote to tell us that Sarah was killed three days ago.\u00a0 There was an accident and she \u2026..\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No!\u2019 the word cut across the air between them like a knife.\u00a0 Joe stared at his father with wide eyes, his face suddenly pale.\u00a0 \u2018No! It\u2019s not true!\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben pulled his son towards him.\u00a0 \u2018I wish to God it wasn\u2019t true Joe. But it is. She wouldn\u2019t have suffered son, she was \u2026\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe pulled himself away from his father. \u2018No!\u2019 he repeated for a third time. \u2018It can\u2019t be true. Not Sarah. No!\u2019 He put his head in his hands and began to sob. \u2018Why Pa? Why?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t know what to say to him. He knew so well the feeling of grief, and there was little he could say to lessen the ache that he knew was piercing through the soul of his son. He reached for Joe again and held him to his chest while he stroked his head and waited for the initial outburst to subside.<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe I\u2019ve been through this before and I know how you\u2019re feeling son.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his father through his tears. \u2018No Pa you don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I know that you think you do, but you don\u2019t.\u00a0 Sarah was so special to me Pa. She was sorta like I imagined my mama to be, you know?\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u2018Yes son I do.\u00a0 But she wasn\u2019t your mother.\u00a0 She was a wonderful woman, but she wasn\u2019t your mother Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe hung his head and whispered, \u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben looked at the grave next to them and his eyes were drawn to the bright myriad of colours in the flowers that Joe had placed there.\u00a0 \u2018They were different women, but they were both special.\u00a0 They both loved you in their own special way.\u00a0 Hold on to the love Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s what will get you through this.\u2019 He tightened his grip around the boy\u2019s shoulders. \u2018Believe me Joe, I know.\u2019<\/p>\n

Father and son sat there together as the shadows lengthened around them and the dusk fell with the death of another day. Finally they stood and Ben led his boy away from the lake with his arm around him.\u00a0 As they reached their horses Joe bent down and picked a wildflower.\u00a0 He fingered it gently as he stared at it through his tears, and then placed it gently in his pocket. He slowly got on his horse and turned to follow his father back home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/strong><\/p>\n

Next Story in the A Special Kind of Love Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

To Trust in Love<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Joe searches for a mother figure in his life<\/p>\n

Rated: K (13,770 words)<\/p>\n

A Special Kind of Love Series, links to all the stories within the series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":4115,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,1007,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-joe-cartwright","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1007-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/frontporch.jpg?fit=439%2C305&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2284\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}