{"id":2291,"date":"2009-09-06T06:38:30","date_gmt":"2009-09-06T10:38:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2291"},"modified":"2026-03-07T19:00:23","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T00:00:23","slug":"a-fathers-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2291","title":{"rendered":"A Father’s Love aka A Love Without End (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>A misunderstanding causes Joe to feel his father doesn’t want him to live on The Ponderosa any more. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rated: K \u00a0<\/span>WC 24,000<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A Father’s Love – aka A Love Without End<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter 1:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018For daddies don\u2019t just love their children<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0every now and then.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0It\u2019s a love without end, Amen.\u2019<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0George\u00a0Strait<\/em><\/strong><\/span>
\n \u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>
\n Part 1<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph I just don\u2019t know what\u2019s got into you lately!\u2019 thundered Ben Cartwright at his youngest son. \u2018It seems like every time I turn around I\u2019m having to discipline you for something. I don\u2019t understand why you\u2019re acting like this!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood silently in front of his father\u2019s desk with his hands behind his back, waiting for an end to the lecture that he practically knew of by heart.\u00a0 He fixed his eyes on a spot on the desk in front of him and hoped that his expression was suitably contrite enough to calm his father down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well Joseph?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked up, realising that he hadn\u2019t been listening again, but took a stab at answering anyway. \u2018I don\u2019t know Pa,\u2019 he said, hoping that was the right answer. His father\u2019s expression told him that it wasn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018You don\u2019t know?\u2019 Ben asked incredulously. \u2018How can you not know?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried again. \u2018I don\u2019t know how come I don\u2019t know,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben put his hand to his head and pressed his right temple. \u2018Joseph, are you trying to make fun of me?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes wide and tried to look sorry. \u2018No Pa! I wouldn\u2019t do that Pa! Honest!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Then answer me properly please young man,\u2019 said his father. Joe stared at him, still not sure what the question had been. \u2018Well?\u2019 Ben asked again, \u2018I\u2019m waiting Joseph.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2026.um\u2026I didn\u2019t exactly hear the question Pa,\u2019 Joe answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes for a moment. \u2018Go to your room,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018I\u2019m not going to waste a moment longer on a boy who doesn\u2019t even have the decency to listen when he\u2019s in trouble.\u2019\u00a0 Joe stared at his father. \u2018I said GO!\u2019 Ben thundered, as he pointed to the stairs.\u00a0 Joe turned and hurried upstairs, anxious to get away before his father decided to turn the verbal tirade into something physical.\u00a0 He knew he would probably get another tanning before the day was out, but he would have liked to avoid more than one if he could.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben massaged his temples, trying to will away the headache that he felt was hovering.\u00a0 It seemed like his life was one battle of wills with that youngest son of his lately, and he was well and truly tired of it.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t know what to do with the boy any more. Not only was he in constant trouble at school, but he had been very remiss about his chores lately, was fighting constantly fighting with his brothers and now Ben had discovered that he had lied to him as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why was he acting this way?\u00a0 Ben couldn\u2019t for the life of him understand how one thirteen year-old could cause him so much anxiety. He didn\u2019t remember going through this with either Adam or Hoss, but then they had very different characters.<\/span><\/p>\n

It seemed as if Adam had been born responsible.\u00a0 Of course he had had his problems growing up and Ben could remember many a time when he had to give the boy a good talking to or worse, but never like this!\u00a0 Hoss was just too easy going to have ever been much trouble at all, and Ben had to really search his memory even to think of a time when he had needed to discipline the boy.\u00a0 The only times that came to mind really were those times when he had been roped into one of Little Joe\u2019s schemes. No, neither of the other two were the challenge that this youngster was to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben picked up the framed photo of Marie, Joseph\u2019s mother, which sat on the desk alongside the photos of his other two wives.\u00a0 He wondered what she would have said about the boy if she were still alive and wondered how she would have dealt with him.\u00a0 Ben suspected that she would have been better at handling the child than he was, as Joseph had a great deal of his mother\u2019s nature in him and she probably would have been able to understand him well.\u00a0 She had when the child had been little.<\/span><\/p>\n

She had also been a lively personality, bubbling over with life and living it to the full.\u00a0 That was the boy\u2019s trouble of course a lot of the time.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t take the time to think things through, as he was too busy trying to cram as much of life in as possible.\u00a0 Joseph just didn\u2019t think things like chores and homework were that necessary in his life, and tried to avoid them whenever possible.\u00a0 His sense of responsibility was not what it should be, and Ben was determined that he would instil some into this son of his even if it killed him.\u00a0And it could well do just that,<\/em>\u00a0he thought.\u00a0I\u2019m really getting too old for this!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

What really worried Ben though was this latest tendency of the boy\u2019s to lie.\u00a0 Joseph had been in a lot of trouble over the years, but he had usually told his father the truth about the scrapes he had gotten into.\u00a0 Not lately though.\u00a0 Ben could see a tendency towards sneakiness that worried him, and now the outright lies that the boy was telling made his father extremely anxious.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben possessed a very strong sense of justice and expected his sons to have the same.\u00a0 He was really beginning to believe that Joseph was lacking in this department, and wondered about just how he could get through to him.\u00a0 The boy had been punished until Ben had run out of ideas about what to do with him next, but still nothing seemed to work.\u00a0 He just drifted from one situation to the next without a thought for anyone but himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head.\u00a0 He always tried to be fair to his sons, but this one was testing his patience to the limit and he was afraid that he might do something in anger that he would regret later. The real reason he had sent him upstairs was because he was afraid the he might lash out at the boy.\u00a0 It was best to keep some distance between them until Ben could act calmly and rationally with his son. He suddenly felt very tired.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sighed as he picked up the letter again from his cousin George and smiled broadly as he re-read it again, hoping to keep his mind off the boy upstairs and the problems he faced with him. \u00a0He noted the date that George and his wife Lillian would be arriving and mentally began to plan their visit.\u00a0 It had been years since they had met and he was really looking forward to renewing his acquaintance with them.\u00a0 George had lived in Chicago for many years and apart from that one time when Ben had first married Marie and they had managed to meet briefly in Omaha they hadn\u2019t seen each other.\u00a0 Now that George\u2019s company had moved him to San Francisco Ben expected that they would be able to see a lot more of each other, and he was thrilled to think that his boys would finally have an extended family.<\/span><\/p>\n

This visit was hopefully going to be the first of many more to come, and Ben wanted to give his cousin and his wife a favourable impression of his boys and his home.\u00a0 He frowned as he thought again of the youngster upstairs.\u00a0 He must remember to remind him just what kind of behaviour he expected from him while their visitors were here.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just at that moment Adam came through the front door.\u00a0 As he flung his hat onto the table he smiled at his father. \u2018Hi Pa? Why so serious?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben returned the smile. \u2018No reason. I was just thinking about cousin George and his visit actually.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Do you want me to meet them from the stage on Saturday for you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled to himself. It was typical of Adam to think of such things.\u00a0 \u2018No thank you son, I think I\u2019d prefer to meet them myself.\u00a0 That way I can show off The Ponderosa on the way out to the house.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded and smiled. He really didn\u2019t blame his father for wanting to show off his beautiful ranch.\u00a0 After all, he had put so much of his life into it and was justifiably proud of it.\u00a0 He had every right to want others to admire it as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Anyway, I\u2019d like you to stay here and keep your younger brother occupied that afternoon,\u2019 continued Ben. \u2018As its not a school day I want to make sure that he keeps out of trouble.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be confined to the ranch again.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes. \u2018What\u2019s he done this time?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben motioned to the letter that was sitting on his desk. \u2018Take your pick,\u2019 he said. \u2018Trouble at school again, and I\u2019ve discovered that he\u2019s been lying to me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam raised his eyebrow. He knew just what a dim view his father took of lying.\u00a0 He remembered trying it on him once to his own detriment. Once had been enough that was for sure!<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sighed again. \u2018I just don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do with that boy.\u00a0 He seems to be getting worse.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t say anything.\u00a0 After all, what was there to say?\u00a0 He agreed with his father, but didn\u2019t want to make it any worse for his brother.\u00a0 He watched as Ben got up wearily from his desk and headed for the staircase.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Good luck,\u2019 he said as he smiled again at his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked ruefully over his shoulder, shook his head and mounted the staircase.\u00a0 Adam shrugged his shoulders as he picked up his hat again.\u00a0 There was no point in staying to hear the usual yells that would soon be coming from his younger brother\u2019s room, so he thought he might as well get a bit more of his chores done before supper.\u00a0 Hopefully by then the storm would have blown over.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u2018Now remember what I\u2019ve told you young man,\u2019 Ben glared at his youngest son as he spoke. \u2018While our visitors are here I expect you to be on your very best behaviour.\u00a0 No nonsense!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018But Pa!\u2019 answered Joe with a grimace. \u2018They\u2019re gonna be here for two whole weeks!\u00a0 You can\u2019t expect me to behave all that time can you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I can!\u2019 retorted his father with a frown. \u2018It\u2019s time you thought past your own selfish needs Joseph and considered other people.\u00a0 I want our visitors to leave here with pleasant memories of their time on the Ponderosa, not memories spoilt by your selfish behaviour!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe slumped down in his seat and tried to look as if he were concentrating on the plate in front of him. \u2018Yes sir,\u2019 he answered in a sulky voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Also,\u2019 continued his father, \u2018I want you to remember that you are confined to the ranch until further notice.\u00a0 Adam will be here this afternoon to supervise your extra chores, so make sure that you obey his instructions please.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shot a dark look at his older brother, who merely grinned at him. \u2018Yes sir,\u2019 he said again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stood up. \u2018Now hurry up with that food and get started on those chores,\u2019 he instructed. \u2018Adam, I\u2019ll be back around five.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Sure thing Pa,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018And don\u2019t worry about this one here.\u00a0 I\u2019ll keep him busy.\u2019\u00a0 He smiled again at his younger brother who merely glared back at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss stood up to join his father. \u2018I\u2019ll get started on that fence Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back for supper.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018See that you are,\u2019 said Ben as he reached for his hat.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you to be late for our guests.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

As the front door shut behind them, Adam put down his coffee cup. \u2018You heard Pa. Now hurry up and finish.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a long list of things for you to do this afternoon.\u2019 Joe slumped down further in his chair and took the smallest of bites. \u2018Suit yourself,\u2019 said Adam as he stood up. \u2018But the chores will be waiting for you whether you start them now or later, and Pa will expect them all done. If I were you I wouldn\u2019t risk putting him in a bad mood at the moment.\u2019 Joe sighed dramatically and stood up to follow his brother.\u00a0 Life sometimes just didn\u2019t seem fair to him at all!<\/span><\/p>\n

He was still in the same frame of mind later that afternoon when he saw his father pull up with their guests in their buggy.\u00a0 He made no attempt to go and greet them, but preferred to wait inside the barn to check them out first.\u00a0 He listened while his father introduced them to Adam first and then Hoss as he rode into the yard behind them.\u00a0 Looking at the visitors he could see a slight resemblance between his father and cousin George.\u00a0 Both had the same silver hair and brown eyes, and there was a similar look about them in their gestures and stance.\u00a0 Cousin Lillian looked quite pleasant, and glanced around her in an interested fashion.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his father ask where he was and decided that he\u2019d better put in an appearance.\u00a0 As he stepped out from the barn the others turned towards him, and Ben beckoned.\u00a0 \u2018Here he is.\u00a0 Joseph, this is my cousin George and his wife Lillian.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head at them. \u2018Hello,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

George beamed at him. \u2018Hello young man.\u00a0 It\u2019s nice to meet you.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian turned to Ben with a smile on her face. \u2018He\u2019s the very image of Marie, Ben!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded as he looked at his youngest son. \u2018Yes he is,\u2019 he said with pride. \u2018Boys, take cousin George\u2019s luggage inside please\u2019. Joe stood still until a nudge from Hoss forced him to join his brothers in picking up some of the bags, and they followed Ben and their visitors into the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

George looked around the large room. \u201cBen this is delightful!\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben beamed at them.\u00a0 \u2018Thank you.\u00a0 We find it comfortable.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian stared at him. \u2018Comfortable?\u00a0 Why Ben, it\u2019s magnificent.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well I can thank Adam in part for that,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018He helped design it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Really?\u2019 said George. \u2018I\u2019m impressed young man.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam beamed at him. \u2018Thank you,\u2019 he said. \u2018Come on you two, let\u2019s get these bags upstairs.\u2019\u00a0 He motioned to his two brothers to follow him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Come, I\u2019ll show you to your rooms,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018You must be exhausted after that long journey.\u2019 He led them up the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Later that evening at the dinner table, the conversation centred around various topics none of which interested Joe in the slightest, so to while away the time he started to count how many times each person spoke, keeping count with his peas.\u00a0 He had five large piles of them on the side on his plate by the time his father noticed what he was doing, and a space for himself that had nothing in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph, what on earth are you doing?\u2019 Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian smiled at the boy as he looked up flustered. \u2018I think we might be boring Joseph,\u2019 she said gently and winked at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

He smiled back at her. \u2018No ma\u2019am,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m real interested in what you\u2019re talking about.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam laughed. \u2018Really?\u00a0 Since when have you been interested in the latest plays on offer in San Francisco?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glared at him, eager to be seen as following the conversation. \u2018I am too interested!\u00a0 I\u2019ve been ta San Francisco before!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And what did you enjoy there Joseph?\u2019 asked Cousin George kindly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018The harbour,\u2019 said Joe, giving Adam a defiant look. \u2018I liked all the ships.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well your father could certainly have told you a lot about them,\u2019 said George. \u2018Do you remember back in Boston Ben, when you were sailing on the\u2026\u2026\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sighed as the conversation went off into the adult arena again, and turned back to his game with the peas.\u00a0 Suddenly he felt someone\u2019s eyes upon him, and he looked up to see Adam glaring at him and shaking his head.\u00a0 He looked down again, and noticed that he had knocked the bread off the side of his plate.\u00a0 As he reached to pick it up his elbow knocked against his glass of water and the liquid trailed along the tablecloth and down into Lillian\u2019s lap.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Sorry,\u2019 he said and bit his lip as he tried to blot it out with a napkin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian smiled at him. \u2018Don\u2019t worry about it Joseph, I\u2019ll fix it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No I\u2019ll do it,\u2019 he said and continued to use the napkin to try to catch the water as it pooled in her lap.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned at him. \u2018Joseph leave it alone. You\u2019re making it worse!\u2019 he said.\u00a0 He stood up and offered Lillian his napkin as well, as he gave Joe a look.\u00a0 Joe sat back in his chair, knowing what was coming next. \u2018Why can\u2019t you be more careful?\u2019 Ben said in a frustrated tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe hung his head momentarily, but looked up again as Lillian said, \u2018don\u2019t worry about it Ben.\u00a0 \u2018The water will dry and there\u2019s no harm done.\u2019 She patted Joe on the arm and smiled at him again. Joe looked back at her and smiled.\u00a0 He glared back at Adam and stuck out his tongue, then turned back to his meal again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I thought you might like to see some more of The Ponderosa again tomorrow,\u2019 continued Ben as he sat down again. \u2018We could take a ride up to the lake and maybe try a spot of fishing.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s ears pricked up. \u2018Could I come Pa?\u2019 he asked hopefully.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stared at him for a moment. \u2018No Joseph you may not come,\u2019 he said. \u2018Have you forgotten you are on restriction until further notice?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat back in his chair. \u2018Oh yeah,\u2019 he said in a small voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry Joseph, we\u2019ll be here a whole two weeks,\u2019 said George.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be off restriction by then, and you might be able to show us some of your favourite places on this beautiful ranch before we leave.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t have the heart to point out to his cousin that he wasn\u2019t the attraction in the boy\u2019s eyes \u2013 the fishing was. Hoss, however, couldn\u2019t resist making a comment. \u2018Yeah well the way this youngster behaves he\u2019ll be lucky ta be off restriction by Christmas.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glared at him and clamped his jaw shut.\u00a0 I seemed like every time he turned around lately someone was getting on his back about something!\u00a0 He looked across the table at Cousin George and noticed the man winking at him, and he smiled back at him. Well at least the visitors seemed to be OK.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

Ben found himself very busy during the next few days, in between overseeing the new timber contracts and making sure that his guests were suitably occupied. He was grateful that Joe managed to keep himself out of trouble for the rest of the weekend, but as his father suspected would happen it was only Tuesday before the next letter came home with him again from school.<\/p>\n

Joe waited until he was going to bed before he handed it to his father, as he figured that the later he read it the better. He reasoned that he would have less time to get into trouble before he was sent to bed that way.<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben opened the envelope and began to read, he couldn\u2019t believe his eyes. \u2018You did what?\u2019 he said looking up from the paper in his hand. Joe stared back at him mournfully without speaking. \u2018Miss Jones wants me to come and see her tomorrow,\u2019 continued Ben. \u2018It seems that she\u2019s had enough of your behaviour as well Joseph.\u00a0 How could you do this?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders as he stood in front of his father. \u2018It was easy,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben threw the paper on the table in front of him. \u2018I beg your pardon?\u2019 he thundered. \u2018What did you say young man?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took a step back. \u2018I meant it was easy to get into trouble.\u00a0 I\u2019m always in trouble with her.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded his head. \u2018Yes you are!\u00a0 And have you stopped to think about why that might be Joseph?\u2019 Joe hung his head and looked at the floor. \u2018It just might be because you never think! I just don\u2019t know what to do with you any more and I\u2019m sure Miss Jones doesn\u2019t either!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018She never knows what to do with me,\u2019 replied Joseph without thinking again. \u2018She makes me get into trouble.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So now it\u2019s your teacher\u2019s fault!\u2019 replied Ben frostily. \u2018And could you tell me why that might be?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe swallowed. \u2018I just meant that\u2026 well\u2026 her lessons are so boring all the time!\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing else to do but get into trouble, cause I\u2019m bored all the time.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stared at his son for a moment. \u2018That is no excuse for stuffing newspaper in the stovepipe and smoking out the entire classroom!\u2019 he yelled.<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a scuffling noise behind him and he turned to Adam, Hoss, George and Lillian. \u2018He did what?\u2019 remarked Adam with a grin on his face. \u2018Joe, whatever possessed you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders again. \u2018Seemed like a good idea at the time,\u2019 he said quietly. \u2018It made everyone take notice.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben swatted him on the side of the head. \u2018I\u2019ll make you take notice young man!\u2019 he said. \u2018Just you get upstairs to your room now and wait until I\u2019m ready to speak to you. I won\u2019t have our guests having to listen to any more of your nonsense.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned and scampered up the stairs, as the five adults watched him.\u00a0 As soon as he heard the boy\u2019s bedroom door close, Ben turned to George and Lillian. \u2018I\u2019m sorry about that, but you see what I mean about him now don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

George couldn\u2019t hold back his laughter. \u2018I certainly do Ben, but you must admit it took some thinking on his part!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t share his laughter, but merely shook his head. \u2018This is just an example of his behaviour,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well I think you should have a talk with Abigail Jones,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018If her lessons are really boring him, then maybe she needs to hear that.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Bored or not, that\u2019s no excuse for him to behave like this,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018And you know that it\u2019s not just at school he\u2019s in trouble. It\u2019s everywhere.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I know,\u2019 continued Adam. \u2018But you do need to tackle the school problem, don\u2019t you think?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Of course I do,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018Although Lord knows what talking to Abigail Jones will achieve.\u00a0 It\u2019s never helped before.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Why?\u2019 interrupted George. \u2018Isn\u2019t she sympathetic to the boy\u2019s needs?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well let\u2019s just say that Abigail is mostly sympathetic to her own needs first,\u2019 said Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And yours,\u2019 interrupted Hoss quietly with a grin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam threw a dark glance in his direction before continuing. \u2018She\u2019s not a bad teacher, but she\u2019s not terribly inspiring either if you know what I mean.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018She seems to be inspired by you,\u2019 said Hoss in a quiet undertone.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam glared at him again, and decided to let the remark pass.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ll talk to her tomorrow,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018In the meantime, Adam would you please get George and Lillian a drink?\u00a0 I have some serious talking to do with a certain young man upstairs.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2018Well? Apart from being bored do you have any excuse for your behaviour?\u2019 asked Ben as he entered Joe\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his father. \u2018No,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Stand up when I speak to you Joseph,\u2019 said his father. Joe stood up, his hands behind his back, and looked at the floor. \u2018Look at me.\u2019\u00a0 He looked up to meet his father\u2019s eyes and flinched at what he glimpsed there.\u00a0 \u2018I don\u2019t know what to say to you any more.\u2019 Ben continued. \u2018I\u2019ve talked until I\u2019m blue in the face, and I\u2019m sick of it.\u00a0 Do you hear me Joseph?\u00a0 I\u2019m sick of it!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Pa,\u2019 said Joe quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sighed in frustration as he removed his belt. \u2018Take off your shirt,\u2019 he ordered.\u00a0 Joe started to unbutton his shirt slowly while his father waited.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Joe\u2019s punishment was over and he was putting on the nightshirt that his father had handed him, Ben thought about how true his words had been.\u00a0 He truly didn\u2019t know what to say to the boy any more.\u00a0 It seemed that everything he said just went in one ear and out the other. Their guests had only been with them a matter of days and already the boy was in trouble again.<\/span><\/p>\n

He sat down on the bed and motioned for his son to sit next to him. \u2018Joseph,\u2019 he began, \u2018I\u2019m going to pick you up from school tomorrow. Tell Miss Jones that I\u2019ll be there straight after school.\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded. \u2018And I\u2019ll certainly be very interested in what she has to say about your behaviour,\u2019 Ben continued. Joe sat silently beside his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben tried another approach. \u2018You don\u2019t like school do you?\u2019\u00a0 Joe shook his head. \u2018Well we\u2019ll have to see what we can do about that,\u2019 his father said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked up with a smile. \u2018Do ya mean it Pa?\u00a0 Can I leave?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned at him. \u2018No I don\u2019t mean that you can leave.\u00a0 You\u2019re too young for that!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No I\u2019m not!\u2019 said Joe eagerly. \u2018Lots of kids leave when they\u2019re my age.\u00a0 I could\u2026.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben held up his hand. \u2018Joseph you are not leaving school, and that\u2019s an end to the matter. I happen to believe that the more schooling you get the better.\u00a0 A good education is very important.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe scowled at him. \u2018Well I ain\u2019t getting it with old bossy boots Miss Jones!\u2019 he declared.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben reached over and swatted him on the head. \u2018Never speak about your teacher like that again,\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018Would you like another taste of my belt?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe hung his head again. \u2018No Pa,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I meant that I would speak to Miss Jones about you being bored,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018Now get into bed young man. Hurry up!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

As he left the boy\u2019s bedroom, Ben resolved to make sure he got to the bottom of this. He knew that Joe had never liked school.\u00a0 He had never been the sort of child to enjoy sitting still for long and had always found the confinement of the classroom difficult.\u00a0 Abigail Jones was also not the first teacher that he caused trouble for, but it seemed to Ben that the boy had taken quite a dislike to the woman, and he wondered why.\u00a0 He sighed as he descended the staircase wearily.\u00a0I\u2019m really getting too old for this!<\/em>\u00a0he thought.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m glad you agree Mr Cartwright,\u2019 said Abigail with a smile. \u2018Joseph\u2019s attitude does leave a lot to be desired you know.\u2019<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018Yes of course, but I do wonder why he\u2019s acting up like this Miss Jones. He tells me that he\u2019s bored at school.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Abigail frowned and straightened up in her chair. \u2018Well that\u2019s a little difficult to comment on Mr Cartwright.\u00a0 Joseph does the bare minimum where his work is concerned and never shows any initiative at all. If he were finding the work boring, then surely he would be finishing it quickly and looking for more!\u2019 Ben doubted that, but didn\u2019t say anything. He listened quietly as Abigail continued. \u2018Mr Cartwright I\u2019m sure you will understand what I\u2019m about to say.\u00a0 If Joseph\u2019s attitude to school doesn\u2019t improve then I\u2019m going to have to think about suspending him.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Is that really necessary?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I believe it is.\u00a0 The other children are being constantly disrupted by him, and it\u2019s for their sakes as well as his own.\u00a0 He has to learn that school is just something he has to put up with.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben raised his eyebrow at her remark.\u00a0 He was beginning to understand why Joe didn\u2019t get on with her. \u2018Well Miss Jones, let\u2019s hope it doesn\u2019t come to that,\u2019 he said standing up.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have another talk with my son.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Please do, Mr Cartwright,\u2019 said Abigail.<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben got to the porch of the schoolhouse he saw Joe standing near their horses waiting for him.\u00a0 Motioning to the boy to mount up, he ignored his anxious look and rode off slowly, Joe following behind.\u00a0 They were well on their way before he spoke. \u2018Well I suppose you realise that Miss Jones is not at all happy with you,\u2019 he said to the boy beside him.\u00a0 Joe shrugged. \u2018She\u2019s talking about suspending you if your attitude doesn\u2019t improve.\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked at him anxiously. \u2018If that happens Joseph, rest assured you will be sorry!\u2019\u00a0 Joe looked down in front of him and avoided his father\u2019s glare. \u2018Do you understand me son?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u2018Yes Pa,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben pointed his finger at him. \u2018I mean it Joe,\u2019 he said sternly. \u2018No more chances at school. \u2018This is your final warning.\u2019\u00a0 He kicked his horse forward into a trot, and left Joe to catch up.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

For the rest of the week Ben was satisfied that his words had gotten through to his son.\u00a0 There were no more notes from school and Joe seemed to attend to his homework each night as required.\u00a0 Not that Ben could be completely sure, as he suspected that there were many times that Joseph didn\u2019t tell the entire truth about just how much work he had to do. He felt sure though that Miss Jones would not let him get away with anything at the moment, and she hadn\u2019t contacted him so that was a good sign.<\/p>\n

By the time Saturday arrived Ben actually felt a sense of relief that they had made it through another school week without a major incident. He felt sufficiently relieved enough to lift the restriction that he had placed on the boy the week before. \u2018But remember Joseph, I expect you to get your chores done before you go anywhere this afternoon,\u2019 he said at the breakfast table.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u2018Sure thing Pa,\u2019 he said, relieved to be once again allowed to leave the ranch. \u2018I\u2019ll do em straight after breakfast.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Make sure you do,\u2019 said his father. \u2018Lillian, Adam will drive you into town this morning to do your shopping, and Hoss will show you the branding George.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry but I just have to get onto those contracts and it will probably take a few hours.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Not a problem Ben,\u2019 replied George. \u2018We\u2019ll be very happy with those arrangements.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Can I go into town with Adam Pa?\u2019 asked Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stared at him. \u2018I thought we just had a conversation about you finishing your chores this morning?\u2019 he said testily.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah but I could do em this afternoon, and then I\u2019d be free ta go inta town with Adam,\u2019 Joe replied. \u2018Can I Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No you ca \u2026 may not,\u2019 replied his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018But Pa\u2026.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Enough Joseph!\u2019 Ben held up his hand.\u00a0 \u2018That\u2019s an end to it!\u2019 Joe put out his bottom lip and slumped down in his chair pouting. \u2018Now if you\u2019ve finished pushing that food around your plate you can just get out and get started.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood up and left the table mumbling to himself.\u00a0 I t seemed to him that there was no point having his restriction lifted if he wasn\u2019t allowed to go anywhere.\u00a0 Sometimes his father just didn\u2019t make any sense. As he lifted the hay into the stall to replace that which he had just cleaned away, he watched his two brothers leaving on their various errands with a sulky expression.\u00a0 Life just wasn\u2019t fair sometimes!\u00a0 He thought about all the things he could be doing, and resolved to get his chores over with as quickly as possible so that he could get to them.<\/span><\/p>\n

After an hour or so of hard work he entered the house to find his father and get permission to leave, and was surprised to see Ben sitting at his desk with his head on his hand gazing into space. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said tentatively.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at him. \u2018Yes?\u00a0 What is it?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve finished my chores.\u00a0 Can I go now?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben glanced at the grandfather clock standing next to the front door. \u2018You\u2019ve finished? Are you sure?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head. \u2018Yeah I\u2019m sure. I did the barn and chopped all the wood for both the boxes, and I collected the eggs and fed the hens. I\u2019m all done.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What about the Tack Room?\u2019 his father asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Do I have ta do that too?\u2019 asked Joe with wide eyes. \u2018Aw come on Pa!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben pointed his finger at him.\u00a0 \u2018Joseph when I say do your chores I mean all of them, and that includes the Tack Room.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018But Pa it\u2019s not messy! \u00a0It looks OK ta me.\u2019 Ben simply stared at him and said nothing. Joe sighed and turned on his heel, muttering under his breath. Ben shook his head and went back to his work glancing up as he heard the front door slam.\u00a0 He never seemed to get on top of this paper work at the best of times, but at the moment it weighed heavily on his shoulders, and Joseph\u2019s attitude didn\u2019t help.\u00a0 That combined with the timber contracts that were due were enough to make him hold up his hands in horror at the thought of it all.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a couple of hours more work he stood up to stretch, and heard the sound of the buggy returning. He glanced out of the window to see Adam and Lillian returning, and went out to greet them. \u2018How was town?\u2019 he asked as he helped Lillian down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Fine,\u2019 said Adam.\u00a0 \u2018Paul Martin said to say hello.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben helped Adam get the packages out of the back of the buggy and began to turn towards the house when he heard his youngest son\u2019s unmistakeable giggle.\u00a0 Frowning, he walked over to the barn and looked inside.\u00a0 Joe stood with a pistol in his hand, brandishing it around as if firing it at someone.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart stopped for a moment and he waited until the boy had lowered the gun before calling out to him. \u2018Joseph!\u00a0 What on earth are you doing with that?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father grinning. \u2018Aw, don\u2019t worry Pa.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t loaded!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben grabbed the gun from his son\u2019s hand. \u2018Where did you get it?\u2019 he yelled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018In the Tack Room,\u2019 said Joe taking a step back. \u2018I think one of the hands musta left it there. But I told ya Pa, it ain\u2019t loaded.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Loaded or not, I have told you never to pick up a gun unless one of your brothers or myself is with you haven\u2019t I?\u2019 Ben thundered. He stepped forward and shook the boy. \u2018Haven\u2019t I?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Pa,\u2019 Joe said with a frown. \u2018But I didn\u2019t mean any thing by it.\u00a0 I just found it in the Tack Room.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well we\u2019ll just put it back in the Tack Room won\u2019t we!\u2019 yelled his father.\u00a0 He pulled the boy by the arm into the room next door and gasped in amazement at the sight that met his eyes.\u00a0 The room was a mess with bits of equipment strewn from one end of it to the other. He rounded on his son. \u2018I told you to clean this up didn\u2019t I?\u00a0 You\u2019ve been out here the best part of two hours Joseph!\u00a0 What\u2019s the meaning of this?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well I thought I\u2019d do a really good job, so I got everything off the shelves.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I found the gun and started to \u2026. I mean I just stopped to have a look at it.\u00a0 I guess I musta got sidetracked,\u2019 Joe finished lamely.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben swatted the boy on the backside. \u2018Well you can just get sidetracked right back in here and get everything back on those shelves quick smart,\u2019 he said. \u2018And when you\u2019re finished you get yourself into the house and we\u2019ll talk about this then.\u00a0 Now move!\u2019\u00a0 He swatted the boy on the backside again and shook his head as he took the gun outside with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Outside Hoss and George had just ridden up. \u2018Trouble?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No more than usual,\u2019 his father replied. \u2018How was the branding George?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Very interesting,\u2019 said George.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Come on,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018I think I can hear dinner calling.\u00a0 You want me ta get Joe Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No,\u2019 said his father. \u2018Your brother has quite a bit of work to do before he\u2019ll be having any dinner.\u2019\u00a0 He led them both into the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

Joe crept along the hallway, listening to the muffled voices downstairs.\u00a0 He positioned himself on the top step where he knew he couldn\u2019t be seen from down below and leant his head against the wall as he listened to the conversation below.\u00a0 He had discovered in the past that this was a very useful position to sit in, as you never knew just what you were going to hear.\u00a0 Particularly when he was in trouble, he had found it most useful to know what his father and brothers were thinking.<\/p>\n

\u2018I just don\u2019t know any more,\u2019 said Ben scratching his head. \u2018The boy seems to defy me at every turn.\u00a0 You saw how he was this afternoon.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

George nodded. \u2018Yes I did. But I don\u2019t think he\u2019s a bad boy Ben, he\u2019s just young and doesn\u2019t think.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I know that,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018But I tell you George there are times when I really have to stop myself with him.\u2019\u00a0 Joe frowned as he heard his father\u2019s words. \u2018It\u2019s as if he\u2019s doing it on purpose sometimes, and he just makes me so angry!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

There was silence for a moment, and Joe craned his neck as he heard Lillian say quietly. \u2018Ben sit down. \u00a0You look so tired.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben rubbed his eyes. \u2018I am actually.\u00a0 Its just that there\u2019s so much on at the moment, with the timber contracts as well as the branding to be done.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And we\u2019re not helping by being here are we?\u2019 said George with a glance at Lillian.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Nonsense!\u2019 said Ben. \u2018You\u2019ve been no trouble at all.\u00a0 In fact I wish you could stay longer. No, life around here is always hectic and that boy just doesn\u2019t make it any easier. I honestly don\u2019t remember the other two causing me any trouble like this.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

I think part of the problem is Ben, that you\u2019re just so busy with everything around here. I know you try your best with him, but Joseph is a boy who just seems to need a lot of time and attention. That\u2019s obvious to all of us I think.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his father sigh. \u2018I know he is,\u2019 he said. \u2018All I seem to do is spend time worrying about him, disciplining him or making sure he\u2019s occupied so that he doesn\u2019t have time to get into any more trouble.\u00a0 Between myself and his brothers he pretty much keeps us all on the run!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Sounds like you need a bit of a break from him,\u2019 said George. \u2018Some time out so to speak.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018We all do,\u2019 said Ben as he smiled ruefully at them. \u2018To be frank I think I\u2019m getting too old for this.\u00a0 I must admit there are times when I long for a quieter life.\u2019 Joe sat up straight as he heard his father\u2019s remark.\u00a0 So he was a nuisance to his father?\u00a0 He had felt it before, but to hear him actually say the words was awful.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cousin George spoke again. \u2018Ben, Lillian and I have been talking about this very thing. We\u2019d be happy to take the boy off your hands for a while.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat up straight in his chair. \u2018What?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well it\u2019s been obvious to us how things are, and we would love to have him if that would help you.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I couldn\u2019t ask you to do that,\u2019 said Ben with a frown. \u2018It\u2019s too big an imposition.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s no imposition at all!\u2019 said Lillian. \u2018You know we have that large house for only the two of us, and he could go to school in San Francisco.\u00a0 He\u2019s a lovely boy Ben, we\u2019d really enjoy having him stay with us.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I appreciate what you\u2019re saying, but you have no idea just how much work he can be,\u2019 replied Ben as he shook his head. \u2018He may seem like a lovely boy to you now, but looking after Joseph is full time occupation I can assure you.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And we have the time,\u2019 continued Lillian. \u2018I have lots of time to give him, and George\u2019s business is up and running now. We mean it Ben.\u00a0 It really would help you out, and to be honest the boy could only benefit from the fine schools in the city.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s true,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018I know the teacher here tries her best, but the standard of education is not as high as it would be elsewhere.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018The boy deserves the best,\u2019 said George. \u2018We\u2019re only thinking of him.\u00a0 And you too of course. Ben you owe this to yourself.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been magnificent with the child since Marie died \u2013 with all of them really \u2013 but it could really be in the best interests of everyone if Joseph did move in with us for a while.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

There was silence for a few moments, and Joe crept further forward.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t believe what he was hearing.\u00a0 His father was considering sending him away?\u00a0 That just didn\u2019t seem like something he would have ever thought he would do. He must really be sick and tired of him if he was talking like this!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I appreciate what you\u2019re saying, and I can assure you there are many times when Joseph drives me to the end of my tether\u2026\u2019 began Ben, and then stopped as the front door opened.\u00a0 Joe drew back as Adam entered the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Evening son,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018How was town tonight?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Fine thanks Pa. Roy Coffee said to say hello,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018Evening George and Lillian.\u2019 Joe stood up quietly and got ready to retreat quickly into his room. \u2018I think I\u2019ll go straight up to bed if you\u2019ll excuse me,\u2019 Adam continued. \u2018It\u2019s been a long day.\u2019\u00a0 Joe scampered quietly back to his room at his brother\u2019s words, anxious not to be discovered.<\/span><\/p>\n

He closed the door and peeped through a crack as Adam wandered down the hallway, then sat down on his bed and thought about the conversation he had heard.\u00a0\u00a0Pa wants me<\/em>\u00a0gone!<\/em>\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t believe what he had heard. He drew his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly, lowering his head onto them.\u00a0\u00a0I never meant to be bad enough to make him want me to go!\u00a0 He thinks he\u2019d be better off without me!\u00a0 I guess I\u2019m just too much trouble for him after all.\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0Before he could stop them the tears began to fall and he wiped them away angrily. He suddenly felt lonely and sad, and wondered why he had behaved as he had. His father had been right!\u00a0 He never thought about anyone but himself, and now it was too late.\u00a0 His father didn\u2019t want him any more, and his brothers probably felt the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay down on his bed, letting the tears fall freely.\u00a0 He clutched hold of his pillow and buried his face in it, so that his sobs wouldn\u2019t be heard by anyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

Downstairs, the conversation that Adam had interrupted was continuing. \u2018As I said,\u2019 Ben continued, \u2018I really appreciate what you are trying to do, but Joseph\u2019s place is here with his brothers and myself.\u00a0 He\u2019s my son and I would never want him to live anywhere else but on The Ponderosa.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I understand,\u2019 said George. \u2018But the offer is still there if you feel you should ever need it Ben.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018Who knows, maybe that young scallywag will drive me to it one day?\u2019 They all laughed. \u2018In the meantime though, I don\u2019t think Joseph would be too keen on living away from here. He loves The Ponderosa.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s obvious,\u2019 said George. \u2018It is a beautiful place Ben.\u00a0 You\u2019ve done so well with it, and your boys are fine young men.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018We lead a comfortable life here, I sure they\u2019re all happy.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Upstairs, his youngest son was far from happy as his father spoke those words.\u00a0 Joe lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, wondering what he could do to make up to his father for all the problems he had caused him, and tried to think of a way to stop him sending him away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

Joe tried his best the next morning to be as pleasant to everyone at breakfast and their way to church.\u00a0 He was so co-operative in fact that Adam looked at him rather suspiciously wondering what the boy might be up to.\u00a0\u00a0 He kept a watchful eye on him all during the Service, and was puzzled to see that he was very attentive and listened well without fidgeting.\u00a0 It was so unlike him!<\/p>\n

He was still thinking about it in the yard afterwards, when he was startled by a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Doctor Paul Martin his father\u2019s good friend standing next to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Hi Paul,\u2019 he said. \u2018How are you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul nodded his head. \u2018I\u2019m fine thanks Adam, but I just wanted to know how your father is.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at the man startled. \u2018Pa? He\u2019s fine. He\u2019s just over there.\u2019\u00a0 He indicated where his father was busy introducing George and Lillian to some of his friends. \u2018Why do you ask?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I saw him in town the other day and he looked a bit unwell that\u2019s all,\u2019 replied Paul. \u2018I wanted him to come and have a check up, but you know your father\u2026.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u2018Yeah I know. And he wonders where Joe gets his stubbornness from!\u2019\u00a0 He looked over at his father again. \u2018Do you think there\u2019s something to worry about Paul?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor shook his head. \u2018No I\u2019m sure there\u2019s not.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019s just a bit run down that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well we\u2019ve got visitors at the moment, and you know how hard Pa works.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u2018I do indeed,\u2019 he replied. \u2018It might be a good idea to encourage him to slow down a bit, just for a while.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s easier said than done,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018Plus, there\u2019s Joe you know.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

They both nodded without having to explain the remark.\u00a0 Paul had known their family for years, and he well knew the energy Ben had to put into that youngster.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked carefully at his father on the way back from church.\u00a0 He did look tired!\u00a0 He resolved to talk to Hoss about it and see what they could do to relieve his stress. He glanced across at his youngest brother and made a mental note to talk to him as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Later on as they got up from the dinner table, Ben was startled to find Joe at his elbow. \u2018What is it Joe?\u2019 he asked, almost tripping over him as he moved away from the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Do ya want me to do anything Pa?\u2019 Joe asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at him for a moment. \u2018Do anything?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, you know.\u00a0 Any chores or anything?<\/span><\/p>\n

They all stopped to stare at the boy. After a moment Ben said. \u2018I beg your pardon?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked back at him. \u2018Well I just thought there might be something ya might like me to do.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben raised his eyebrows. \u2018Nothing I can think of thank you Joseph. You go and enjoy your afternoon.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018But Pa\u2026.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben waved him away impatiently. \u2018Joe please! I have a lot to do this afternoon.\u00a0 Just go and do whatever you want.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe walked slowly out of the house. Even when he tried to be good his father didn\u2019t want to know about it!\u00a0 He must really be sick of having him around if he didn\u2019t want him to even do any chores. \u00a0He moped around the yard for a while, and then decided to go up to his favourite fishing place by the lake. As he lay by the lake looking up at the sky he thought about all the things he had been in trouble for during the past few days.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t as if he had meant to cause problems for his father, it was just that\u2026.. Joe rolled over onto his stomach and wondered just what it was that made him do these things.\u00a0 He guessed that Pa was probably right, and he was selfish after all.<\/span><\/p>\n

His eyelids grew heavy and as he drifted off to sleep he resolved to try even harder not to cause his father any more worries.\u00a0 He would be so good, that even Adam wouldn\u2019t be able to believe it.\u00a0 He gave a sleepy smile as he thought about how confused his older brother would be when he saw the perfect Joe that he was about to become.<\/span><\/p>\n

When he opened his eyes again, he realised that he must have been asleep for quite a while.\u00a0 The sun had shifted quite a distance across the sky and it had turned chilly.\u00a0 He shivered slightly as he hugged his jacket around him and sat up.\u00a0 Yawning loudly, he stretched and decided he\u2019d better get home quickly if he was to find some extra chores to do before supper.\u00a0 He wanted to start straight away to mould himself into the perfect Joe that he was about to become.<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe rode into the front yard, he was surprised to see a buggy there, for he hadn\u2019t known that they were expecting visitors.\u00a0 He had a moment\u2019s worry while he searched his memory to try and think about anyone coming that he might have forgotten about, but came up with nothing.\u00a0 Remembering that his father had told him to go and enjoy himself, he entered the house without a care in the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

His mood suddenly changed however, as he looked at the scene in front of him.\u00a0 George and Lillian were seated in front of the fireplace deep in conversation with Hoss, and when they looked up to greet him he could see the worry on their faces.\u00a0 \u2018Joseph sweetheart,\u2019 said Lillian as she stood and made a step towards him. \u2018Come and sit down over here.\u00a0 We have to talk to you.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat down warily, sensing the tension in the room. \u2018What\u2019s wrong?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Whose buggy is that outside?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss took a deep breath before he replied. \u2018It\u2019s Doc Martin\u2019s Joe.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sprang to his feet. \u2018Why\u2019s he here?\u00a0 Is Adam sick?\u00a0 Where is he?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian put a reassuring hand on his arm and pulled him back onto the settee. \u2018It\u2019s not Adam dear.\u00a0 It\u2019s your father.\u2019 Joe stared at her.\u00a0Pa? Pa was never sick!\u00a0<\/em>Lillian put her arm around his shoulder and squeezed it. \u2018Don\u2019t worry Joseph I\u2019m sure it\u2019s nothing.\u00a0 Doctor Martin is just checking him over that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned to Hoss.\u00a0 \u2018What happened to Pa?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss wrung his hands and tried to smile at his brother. \u2018He just didn\u2019t feel too well Joe that\u2019s all.\u00a0 He kinda \u2026.\u2019 He looked at Lillian for reassurance. \u2018He kinda had a bad spell, so we thought we\u2019d better get Doc Martin out here ta take a look at him.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to stand up again. \u2018I want to see him,\u2019 he said, but Lillian held onto his arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No dear.\u00a0 It\u2019s best to stay here with us.\u00a0 Doctor Martin will come down soon and tell us how he is.\u2019\u00a0 Joe was about to open his mouth again to protest when he heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs behind him and turned to see Doctor Martin and Adam descending them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s resting comfortably,\u2019 said Paul as he sat down. \u2018I\u2019ve given him a sedative and he should sleep for quite a while now.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What exactly happened?\u2019 asked Adam. \u2018I\u2019ve never seen him like that before.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m not sure,\u2019 replied the doctor. \u2018It could have been a mild warning from his heart, or even his blood pressure.\u00a0 I do know however that it is an indication that he needs rest for a while.\u2019\u00a0 Adam and Hoss both nodded and Joe sat looking at the doctor wide-eyed. \u2018I\u2019m sure your father will be fine boys.\u00a0 He just needs rest to gain his strength back.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid you\u2019ll have to manage without him around the ranch for a bit.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry about the ranch,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Hoss and I will look after that without any problem.\u00a0 We\u2019re more concerned with how to look after Pa.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u2018Just tell us what we have ta do Doc.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Your father is to have complete rest.\u00a0 No talking to him about the ranch business at all, and absolutely no stress about anything else.\u00a0 He just needs plenty of good food and sleep.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Doc Martin?\u2019 said Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Joe?\u2019 the doctor turned to the boy kindly. \u2018What is it son?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Can I see him now?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor shook his head. \u2018No Joe, not right now. Your father is sleeping and he mustn\u2019t be disturbed. There\u2019ll be plenty of time to see him tomorrow.\u2019\u00a0 He stood up. \u2018I have to get back to town.\u00a0 Don\u2019t hesitate to send for me if you need me boys.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss stood up to see the doctor out, and there was silence in the room as the front door closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well,\u2019 George said finally. \u2018I think we\u2019d better see about getting some supper, don\u2019t you think?\u2019\u00a0 He motioned towards Joe meaningfully as he glanced at the others. \u2018There\u2019s nothing we can do for Ben now until the morning.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took the hint. \u2018I\u2019ll see if Hop Sing has it ready,\u2019 he said. \u2018Come on Joe, you can help me.\u2019 \u00a0He pulled his younger brother to his feet and propelled him towards the kitchen, leaving George and Lillian remaining by the fireplace.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a moment George spoke again. \u2018I think we\u2019d better extend our trip, don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian nodded. \u2018Yes.\u00a0 I can\u2019t leave those boys alone to look after their father at a time like this.\u00a0 We\u2019d better stay for a bit longer.\u2019\u00a0 She turned as Adam and Joe re-entered the room. \u2018Well boys, let\u2019s see about that supper shall we?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

Joe put his feet on the floor and stood up. He moved quietly over to the bedroom door and peeped out into the hallway cautiously before leaving his room.\u00a0 As he entered his father\u2019s room he could hear the quiet sound of his breathing in the darkness and breathed a sigh of relief himself.\u00a0 As he approached the bed he jumped to hear a voice come from the shadows in the corner.<\/p>\n

\u2018What are you doing here?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned to see Adam sitting in a chair by the window. \u2018I just wanted ta see Pa Adam.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t gonna disturb him. Honest!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam stood up and led his younger brother by the shoulders back to his own room. As he sat him down on his bed and lit the lamp, he noticed the boy\u2019s puffy red eyes and guessed that he had probably been crying for hours. He sat on the bed next to him.\u00a0 \u2018You feel better now that you\u2019ve seen him?\u2019 he asked. Joe nodded. \u2018Pa will be fine Joe.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to worry about him.\u2019\u00a0 Joe stared at his brother, and Adam said kindly. \u2018I think you should be in bed don\u2019t you?\u00a0 Come on buddy, in you go.\u2019\u00a0 He pushed Joe to a lying position and covered him with the blankets.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m sorry Adam,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018I just had ta know if he was OK.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I know buddy, we all do.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I was sitting up with him I guess.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t do him any good to worry you know.\u00a0 The best thing you can do for him now is to look after yourself and help me and Hoss while Pa\u2019s sick.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded eagerly. \u2018I will,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019d already decided ta do that.\u00a0 There\u2019s lots of stuff I can do around here while Pa\u2019s in bed.\u00a0 I can stay home from school and\u2026..\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No way,\u2019 interrupted Adam. \u2018You\u2019re not missing any school.\u00a0 Pa wouldn\u2019t want you to.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018But Adam\u2026\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u2018No,\u2019 he said firmly. \u2018Hoss and I are quite capable of looking after things around here, and George and Lillian are going to stay for a while longer and be here for Pa.\u00a0 The best thing you can do is go to school as normal and do some extra chores to help Hoss and me. OK?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u2018Yes.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Now go to sleep. When Pa wakes up in the morning you can see him then if he\u2019s up to it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded again. \u2018OK.\u2019\u00a0 As his older brother turned down the lamp and made to leave the room he called to him. \u2018Adam?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019ll be all right won\u2019t he?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, he\u2019ll be all right Joe.\u00a0 Now go to sleep.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rolled over to face the wall and closed his eyes.\u00a0 As sleep overtook him he said a silent prayer that his father would be all right just as Adam had said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u2018Can I see him now?\u2019 asked Joe as he finished the last bit of food on his plate. \u2018You said after breakfast and I\u2019ve had it now.\u2019<\/p>\n

Lillian looked at Adam, who nodded his head slightly. We\u2019ll go up together,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sprang up from the table eagerly and moved towards the stairs quickly. Adam grabbed him by the arm. \u2018Slowly,\u2019 he cautioned. \u2018Remember what the doctor said about him having quiet.\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded and mounted the stairs with his brother at a more sedate pace.<\/span><\/p>\n

As they entered their father\u2019s room Hoss stood up and smiled at them both. \u2018He\u2019s just woken up,\u2019 he announced.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at their father in the bed and noted the paleness of his skin and the dullness of his eyes. \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said tentatively. \u2018How are you feeling?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben turned his head towards the sound of his son\u2019s voice. \u2018I\u2019ve been better Adam,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m just so tired.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s the sedative the doc gave ya Pa,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018He said ya have ta sleep as much as ya can.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded without saying a word.\u00a0 Adam moved towards the bed and pulled his younger brother forward with him, whispering in his ear as he did so. \u2018Don\u2019t talk too much.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded and stood staring at his father.\u00a0 He had never felt so scared in his whole life standing there looking down at the man he loved more than anything looking so frail and sick.\u00a0 He felt as if his whole world was falling apart.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Pa?\u2019 said Adam. \u2018Hop Sing\u2019s bringing you up some breakfast now.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to leave you so that you can sleep some more.\u2019\u00a0 Ben nodded but didn\u2019t answer, too weary even to acknowledge the remark.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t worry about nothing Pa,\u2019 added Hoss. \u2018We\u2019ll take care of everything for ya.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded again.\u00a0 Joe stepped forward and bent down to kiss his father\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 Ben opened his eyes and smiled at the boy and nodded his head at him. \u2018You be good for your brothers Joseph,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I will Pa,\u2019 whispered Joe. \u2018I\u2019ll be perfect.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben gave a slight smile and closed his eyes again. \u2018Come on,\u2019 said Adam as he pushed on Joe\u2019s shoulder, \u2018he needs to sleep.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 2:<\/span><\/p>\n

During the next few days Joe tried to be the perfect Joe that he had decided he would be out at the lake.\u00a0 He did all his chores and some of his brothers\u2019 as well, in order to give them more time to take over their father\u2019s jobs.\u00a0 He behaved himself at school and even tried to concentrate on his work, to the great delight of Miss Jones who praised him for it. He obeyed his brothers and cousins in every way he knew how, trying to make them understand that he could be responsible and grownup when he wanted to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t allowed to see his father more than a few minutes at a time, for Ben was still very weak and Doc Martin said needed as much sleep as possible.\u00a0 However they all realised the boy\u2019s great need to make sure that his father was all right and he was allowed a couple of short visits with him each day.<\/span><\/p>\n

For the main part, Ben acted much the same each time Joe saw him.\u00a0 He looked extremely tired and only spoke to the boy a few words, but his colour was getting better and Joe took heart in the fact that everyone seemed pleased with his progress. Towards the end of the week he began to feel as if his father was truly coming back to him, and was very pleased when Adam gave him permission to sit with him for a while on the Saturday morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat quietly next to his father\u2019s bed, not daring to say a word. He was under strict instructions not to disturb his father unless he spoke to him first, and was content to sit and just look at him while he slept.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a while, Ben opened his eyes and smiled at his son. \u2018Joseph,\u2019 he said quietly while holding out his hand. \u2018How are you son?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe eagerly sat forward in his chair and held onto his father\u2019s hand. \u2018I\u2019m fine Pa.\u00a0 Are ya feeling better now?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stretched under the bedclothes. \u2018Yes, a lot better.\u00a0 Seems as if I\u2019ve slept for a week.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grinned at him. \u2018You nearly did.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u2018What day is it?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Saturday.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u2018Then I guess I have.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his son. \u2018Have you been behaving yourself?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Sure have Pa.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been in trouble once,\u2019 Joe said proudly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben patted him on the arm. \u2018Good boy,\u2019 he said. \u2018Joe could you do something for me?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah Pa! What?\u2019 asked Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Ask Adam or Hoss to come up here if they\u2019re around.\u00a0 I need to talk to one of them.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face fell. \u2018I can get you anything ya need Pa.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u2018No.\u00a0 Just get one of your brothers for me please.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe left the room he felt disappointed that his father hadn\u2019t trusted him to do whatever it was that he needed.\u00a0 He bumped into Hoss in the hallway and told him that his father needed him, and as he stood in the doorway and heard their conversation he felt quite left out.\u00a0 Pa was asking Hoss about the ranch and how things were going.\u00a0 They were things that Joe could have answered himself if he\u2019d only been given the chance.\u00a0 He figured sadly that his father probably didn\u2019t trust him to know these things.<\/span><\/p>\n

As Hoss left the room he smiled at his little brother. \u2018Well short shanks, it looks as if he\u2019s on the mend.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to smile back. \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he said as he followed his brother downstairs.\u00a0But he still don\u2019t want me around!\u00a0<\/em>he thought to himself sadly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

\u2018Hoss I know what you\u2019re saying, but I still believe it would be the right thing to do,\u2019 said George as they sat around the fireplace. \u2018Your father is getting better by the day we all know that, and I\u2019m sure it won\u2019t be long before he\u2019s up back to his usual self.\u00a0 But the fact remains that he needs a break.\u00a0 Taking Joseph off his hands for a while will help him immensely.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa wouldn\u2019t want ya ta take Little Joe anywhere,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018And Joe won\u2019t stand for it neither.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe will do as he\u2019s told,\u2019 said Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss turned to his brother. \u2018Ya can\u2019t be serious Adam!\u00a0 Ya don\u2019t agree with this do ya?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s not really what I want either Hoss, but we all agree that Pa needs to take it easier for a while.\u00a0 Anyway, it\u2019s his decision not ours.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u2018He won\u2019t agree to it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s where I think you\u2019re wrong,\u2019 said George. \u2018We already talked to your father about this before he got sick.\u00a0 He was so worried about how to handle that boy that I think that a part of him wanted to agree to it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019re not saying it would be forever Hoss,\u2019 interrupted Lillian. \u2018It would be just to give your father a break for a while. Joseph could go to school in San Francisco while he stayed with us, and it would be so good for him to experience the excellent schools in the city.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I agree with that,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018It might help him to knuckle down a bit and actually do some work.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I can\u2019t believe ya\u2019re serious,\u2019 said Hoss, standing up. \u2018Ya can\u2019t split up this family.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian looked up at him. \u2018Hoss we\u2019re not trying to split up your family.\u00a0 We\u2019re just trying to offer a temporary solution to help your father out.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well all this is academic until we talk to Pa about it,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018And that won\u2019t be for a while yet. Come on Hoss don\u2019t get uptight about it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat on the top step in his nightshirt listening to the conversation below, and wondered what he should do.\u00a0 He felt so upset to hear them talk in this way about him, and he wanted to go downstairs and yell at them all.\u00a0 There was no way he wanted to leave The Ponderosa!\u00a0 This was his home and he\u2019d never lived anywhere else.\u00a0 Besides, leaving his Pa and his brothers was more than he could bear to think about.\u00a0 But on the other hand, if Pa wanted him to go away and needed a break from him, then maybe he had to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

He had tried so hard during the past few days to behave himself, and yet it hadn\u2019t seemed to make any difference to anyone.\u00a0 Pa still didn\u2019t seem to want him around, and Adam wanted him to go away too.\u00a0 Only Hoss wanted him to stay!\u00a0 He felt very unloved and unwanted as he sat on the top step thinking about his choices.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t that he didn\u2019t like George and Lillian and to see San Francisco would be great, but he\u2019d always thought that he\u2019d do that with his father and brothers.\u00a0 Now they were just trying to send him there by himself it didn\u2019t feel the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

He wondered what Pa would say when they asked him?\u00a0 Joe knew that whatever Pa wanted would happen, and at the moment he honestly didn\u2019t know what his answer would be.\u00a0 Maybe he would really want Joe to go, but he wouldn\u2019t want to hurt his feelings and tell him so?\u00a0 Maybe Joe would need to tell his Pa that he really wanted to go so that he wouldn\u2019t feel bad about sending him away? He just didn\u2019t know what to think anymore!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

Ben sat on the front porch and breathed the scent of the pines deeply into his lungs.\u00a0 He had missed that smell so much while he had been inside.\u00a0 He was a man not used to taking it easy and was rarely, if ever sick, in his life, so the past week had been something that he had found hard to handle.\u00a0 Not that he\u2019d had much choice though.\u00a0 Paul had made it abundantly clear that he was to follow orders and George, Lillian and the boys had forced him to obey the doctor\u2019s instructions.\u00a0 Now after ten day\u2019s rest he felt nearly back to his old self and ready to face the world again.<\/span><\/p>\n

He smiled as he thought about all the fussing he\u2019d had to endure from them all. George and Lillian had been kindness itself, and the boys \u2013 well he couldn\u2019t move without one of them hovering over him like a mother hen.\u00a0 Now he knew how he must have seemed to them when they were sick all those times.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had run the ranch extremely efficiently and he was proud of the way they had done so.\u00a0 And Joseph had behaved himself perfectly.<\/span><\/p>\n

He stretched back in his chair and looked around him. Yes life was beginning to look much better!\u00a0 He turned sharply as he heard footsteps behind him, and smiled to see Adam standing there with two cups of coffee in his hands. \u00a0\u2018I thought you might like this,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Thank you,\u2019 said Ben reaching for the cup. \u2018I was just thinking how much better I feel.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sat down on the porch next to his father. \u2018That\u2019s great Pa, but you still don\u2019t want to overdo it.\u00a0 Remember what Paul said.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Am I this bad with all you boys when you\u2019re sick?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam returned his smile. \u2018Worse,\u2019 he said. \u2018But seriously Pa, you really have to take it easy for a while.\u00a0 Let Hoss and I do most of the things around here.\u00a0 We\u2019re quite capable of it you know.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u2018Yes I do know son, and I\u2019m sorry if I don\u2019t always show my trust in you.\u00a0 Rest assured that I\u2019ll let you carry on for a while longer. And what about your brother Joe?\u00a0 Do you think he\u2019s prepared to behave himself like this forever?\u2019\u00a0 He laughed. \u2018Somehow I don\u2019t think so.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took another sip of his coffee. \u2018Pa, that\u2019s something we need to talk about,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u2018Don\u2019t tell me he\u2019s started already.\u00a0 What\u2019s he done now?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No.\u00a0 It\u2019s nothing like that. \u2018It\u2019s just that George and Lillian told us that they\u2019d offered to take Joe for a while with them to San Francisco. Have you given any more thought about that since you\u2019ve been sick?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u2018No I haven\u2019t,\u2019 he replied. \u2018Why should I?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well if you have to take it easy, then we just thought that maybe it would one solution.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t think so,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018Joseph belongs here. I\u2019m not about to let him go and live elsewhere.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at his father. \u2018I know what you mean Pa.\u00a0 None of us really want him to go, but it could be for the best.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well, you know all the trouble he\u2019s been in at school lately.\u00a0 He\u2019s nearly about to be suspended.\u00a0 There are some excellent schools in San Francisco and a year or two in one of them might just be the makings of him.\u00a0 Plus there\u2019s his behaviour here as well.\u00a0 Even when you\u2019re well it\u2019s too much at times.\u00a0 You must admit that!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What makes you think he\u2019d be any better in San Francisco with George and Lillian?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well Lillian has the time for him for one thing.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben leant forward in his chair. \u2018I have always had the time for Joseph,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ve given all you boys the time you needed.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I know you have Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m not meaning this to sound as a criticism, but at what expense?\u00a0 You\u2019ve raised three of us practically single-handedly, and look at what it\u2019s done to you.\u00a0 When was the last time you had any time for yourself?\u00a0 When was the last time you had time for your own life?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Adam, you boys are my life.\u00a0 You are enough for me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam smiled at his father. \u2018That\u2019s really nice to hear Pa, but I think it\u2019s time you started to think about yourself for a change. How many times after all would you get the opportunity to help yourself a bit and also Joe?\u00a0 The experience of living in San Francisco would do him the world of good.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was silent. \u2018Joe wouldn\u2019t want to go,\u2019 he said after a few moments. \u2018He\u2019d want to stay here with us.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well why don\u2019t you ask him?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben hesitated. \u2018What does Hoss think about this?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well you know Hoss. He doesn\u2019t want him to go of course. Neither do I for that matter Pa, I just think it might be for the best for a while though.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

There was silence as the two men drank their coffee, each with their own thoughts.\u00a0 \u2018Well I might see what Joe thinks about it,\u2019 said Ben after a while. \u2018I\u2019ll just test the waters so to speak.\u2019\u00a0 There was silence again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s time for bed Joe,\u2019 said his father, looking up from his book.<\/p>\n

\u2018Aw Pa!\u00a0 Just one more game!\u2019 said Joe.\u00a0 \u2018Hoss needs ta win at least one before we finish.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss glared at him. \u2018Don\u2019t ya worry about me, thanks very much!\u00a0 I can win one whenever I like.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grinned at him. \u2018Yeah?\u00a0 Well why don\u2019t ya then?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph, I said it was time for bed,\u2019 repeated his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe opened his mouth to argue again, but caught the look in his father\u2019s eye and shut it. \u2018Good night everyone,\u2019 he sighed as he stood up and turned towards the staircase.\u00a0 They watched him as he ascended them as slowly as he could, exaggerating each step as if it was all too much for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019d like to see that boy obey an instruction just once without arguing,\u2019 said Ben, shaking his head. \u2018It seems like the perfect Joseph is disappearing and we\u2019re getting back to normal again.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I knew it\u2019d be too good to last,\u2019 laughed Adam. \u2018Nice while it did though.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s not a bad boy,\u2019 said Lillian. \u2018We\u2019d still be glad to have him. Have you decided yet Ben?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u2018No, I haven\u2019t spoken about it to him yet. I will though.\u00a0 Excuse me while I go and make sure that he\u2019s actually in bed and not hanging out of the window or something equally dramatic.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben entered his son\u2019s bedroom, he was pleased to see he was actually in bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed he stroked his hair off his forehead and asked, \u2018Did you wash?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe scrunched up his eyes. \u2018Kinda,\u2019 he said, looking at the bedclothes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben raised his eyebrows. \u2018Kinda?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well, not exactly,\u2019 Joe admitted. He looked at his father and then sighed as he got out of bed and walked to the basin.\u00a0 Ben watched as he washed his face and hands, and then climbed back into bed again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, there\u2019s been something I\u2019ve been wanting to talk to you about.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father fearfully. \u2018I ain\u2019t done nothing,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I didn\u2019t say you had,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018I wanted to talk to you about an idea that George and Lillian had.\u2019 Joe tried to look nonchalant, sensing what was coming. \u2018They\u2019ve enjoyed being here at The Ponderosa,\u2019 continued his father, \u2018but it\u2019s time for them to go back home now.\u00a0 They were wondering if you might like to go and stay in San Francisco with them for a while.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay silently in the bed, not knowing what to say. \u2018Why?\u2019 he said finally.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well, because they like you. You could go to school there for a while and see all the sights of San Francisco.\u00a0 You like George and Lillian don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said. When his father didn\u2019t say anything else he added, \u2018How long would it be for?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Maybe a year or so,\u2019 Ben replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe fiddled with the bedcovers rather than meet his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0He really wants me to go!\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t want me around here any more!<\/em>\u00a0 More than anything he wanted to ask his father\u2019s opinion and hear him say that he wanted him to stay, but he was sure that it wasn\u2019t the case, so he merely said instead, \u2018I don\u2019t know. I\u2019ll have ta think about it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was startled. He was sure that the suggestion would result in an angry outburst from the boy, and found it difficult to understand why he wasn\u2019t objecting to it. \u2018Are you sure you want to think about it?\u2019 he asked gently. \u2018I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d want to leave.\u2019 Joe shrugged his shoulders and didn\u2019t say anything.\u00a0 What do you say to a father who wants to get rid of you after all? Ben patted him on the head. \u2018Well, you think about it if that\u2019s what you want,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father, the question unspoken on his lips. \u2018OK Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018Night.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Goodnight son.\u2019 Ben patted him on the head again and turned towards the door puzzled. Never would he have thought the boy would react in this way.\u00a0 Maybe Adam was right and it was for the best?\u00a0 After all Joe seemed to want to go, and who was he to stand in the boy\u2019s way if he felt like that?\u00a0 He closed the door and turned down the hallway sadly.\u00a0 He would miss the child so much, but maybe it was meant to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

For the next day or so, nothing was said about the proposal.\u00a0 Both Ben and Joe waited for the other one to mention it, and when neither did they each took it for granted that the other one was still thinking about it. Joe watched his father carefully, and noticed that he seemed a bit distant.Probably getting used ta not having me around already!<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0He doesn\u2019t care if I go.<\/em><\/p>\n

For his part, Ben watched the boy and noticed the thoughtful look in his eye.\u00a0 Maybe Joseph was keen to go?\u00a0 After all he was a boy who had always craved doing and seeing things, and maybe the lure of San Francisco was all too much for him?\u00a0 Ben had all but decided to bring the subject up with his son when the boy presented himself at his desk one morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Pa?\u2019 he said tentatively.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes Joe?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve been thinking about going ta San Francisco,\u2019 he continued.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath. \u2018I think I\u2019d like ta go,\u2019 he said looking at his father carefully to gauge his reaction to his decision.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was startled, but tried not to show it for his son\u2019s sake. \u2018Joe, are you sure?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes,\u2019 Joe lied. \u2018I\u2019m sure.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Why son?\u00a0 Why do you want to go?\u2019 Ben tried not to look concerned.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders. \u2018I dunno.\u00a0 Just ta see things I spose.\u2019\u00a0 It was the best that he could come up with.\u00a0 He stood quietly in front of his father, willing him to object to his decision and beg him to stay.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben beckoned his son around the desk towards him.\u00a0 He held onto his shoulders as he said. \u2018Are you sure that\u2019s what you want Joe?\u2019 He breathed deeply as the boy nodded his head at him. \u2018All right, but remember this.\u00a0 If you change your mind at any time you just get George to send me a wire and I\u2019ll come and get you.\u00a0 Understand?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded again, his heart breaking at the ease in which his father was letting him go. He must have really been a bigger worry to him than he had even imagined. He closed his eyes as his father held him in a tight embrace, trying to stop the tears from falling.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u2018Here ya go Charlie,\u2019 said Hoss as he lifted the piece luggage up to the stagecoach driver. \u2018That\u2019s the last of em.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe watched with a lump in his throat as his bag was put up with the others.\u00a0 It made it all seem so final to see it up there ready for the trip.\u00a0 He had spent the last few days hoping that his father would change his mind and beg him to stay, and had gone to bed each night sobbing into his pillow when it hadn\u2019t happened.\u00a0 Now that they were about to say their final farewells he tried desperately to keep his emotions in check, not wanting to show any weakness in front of his father and his brothers.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want them to ask him to stay out of pity, and he was determined not to hang around where he wasn\u2019t wanted even if it hurt more than he could bear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben watched his son carefully.\u00a0 He seemed very anxious, but that was to be expected.\u00a0 After all, Joseph had never travelled away from home so far without either his father or his brothers with him, and Ben was sure that the boy was feeling more worried than he was trying to let on.\u00a0 He put his arm around the boy\u2019s thin shoulder and squeezed it for a moment, trying to get him to look at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

But Joe was avoiding his father\u2019s eyes at any costs.\u00a0 He felt that if he made any kind of connection with him that he would weaken and beg to stay, and he was determined not to do that.\u00a0 So he tried to appear nonchalant and excited about the trip and it wasn\u2019t until the final farewells that he let his guard slip a little.\u00a0 When Hoss bent down to hug him he clung onto him tightly for a moment and then let go abruptly.\u00a0 \u2018Hey shortshanks, ya make sure ya write ta us won\u2019t ya?\u2019 his brother asked with tears in his eyes. \u2018We want ta know everything about what ya doing.\u2019\u00a0 Joe could only nod at him, not wanting to trust his voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned to Adam and gave him a tight hug as well. Adam was startled at the intensity that he felt in the boy\u2019s body, and held him back at arms length for a moment to study his face. \u2018You OK Joe?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe swallowed and tried to look as if he didn\u2019t have a care in the world. \u2018Yeah!\u2019 he said. \u2018Why wouldn\u2019t I be?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam ruffled his hair. \u2018No reason little buddy,\u2019 he said. \u2018You behave yourself now, you hear?\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded and hugged his brother again.\u00a0 Adam let him cling onto him for a few moments, and it wasn\u2019t until he sensed his father come up beside them that he stepped backwards. \u2018Bye Joe,\u2019 he said softly as he handed him over to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben held his son in a tight embrace, determined not to show how much he was hurting. After a few moments he said. \u2018Now you remember Joseph, all you need to do is tell George that you want to come home, and I\u2019ll be there to get you. Understand son?\u2019 Joe nodded and bit his lip. Ben put his hand under his son\u2019s chin and held his head up so that they were looking into each other\u2019s eyes. He frowned to see the look in the green eyes as they stared into his. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said. \u2018Are you sure about this?\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s time to go,\u2019 said George from behind them. \u2018Thank you Ben for a wonderful holiday.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about the boy, we\u2019ll look after him.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben held his hand out to shake the other man\u2019s. \u2018I know you will.\u00a0 Thank you George.\u2019 He squeezed his son\u2019s shoulders again before he said with forced brightness. \u2018You\u2019re going to have a wonderful trip.\u00a0 Now you behave yourself Joseph!\u2019\u00a0 He let go of the boy and pushed him gently towards the stagecoach.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took a step forward, then turned and hugged his father again tightly around the waist. \u2018Bye Pa,\u2019 he managed to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes as he put his hands on the boy\u2019s head. \u2018Bye son,\u2019 he said softly. \u2018Don\u2019t forget that we\u2019ll be up to visit soon.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian stepped forward and gently eased the boy away from his father and helped him up into the stagecoach. \u2018Come on Joseph,\u2019 she said. \u2018Its time to go.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss stood on either side of their father and they all waved to the stagecoach as it travelled down the street.\u00a0 They watched Joe\u2019s hand waving back at them from the window, each feeling an emptiness in their stomachs as they watched the boy depart.<\/span><\/p>\n

He\u2019ll be OK Pa,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018He\u2019ll have a wonderful time.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded at him and tried to smile, but in reality he was holding back tears. \u2018I know he will,\u2019 he said simply and turned towards his horse with a sigh.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Part 2<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Joe sat and stared at the book in front of him trying to concentrate on the words on the page, but found his thoughts kept drifting off onto other things.\u00a0 He sighed as he realised just how much of his homework he hadn\u2019t done and knew that he would probably be kept in at lunchtime again tomorrow.\u00a0 Not that he worried about that much, as he didn\u2019t have any friends anyway and the playground was usually a lonely place for him at the best of times.<\/p>\n

He missed so many things from home that it was hard to keep track of just how many there were.\u00a0 Thoughtfully, he took a piece of paper from his notebook and began to write a list, thinking it might make him feel better.\u00a0 First of all he wrote his father\u2019s name and then his brothers\u2019 names underneath.\u00a0 He missed them so much that it hurt to think about it, and so he quickly went onto the next thing on his list without dwelling on them.\u00a0 He wrote the name of his horse next, Cochise.\u00a0 He really missed riding whenever he felt like it.\u00a0 At home he could get on Cochise every day and even if he wasn\u2019t allowed to roam the ranch at least he had the opportunity to ride him to and from school.\u00a0 He really enjoyed taking care of him too, and that was one chore that he never minded doing.\u00a0 Here in San Francisco cousin George had a few horses, but they were mostly for pulling the carriage and if he wanted to ride he had to wait for the weekend and pick a time when his uncle was available to go with him.\u00a0 There just weren\u2019t so many places you could ride a horse around the city, and so they would have to go to the outskirts, and that meant a bit of organising well in advance.<\/span><\/p>\n

The school where he had been enrolled was only a few blocks away, so Joe usually walked to and from there each day.\u00a0 Sometimes Cousin Lillian came to meet him but he preferred it when she didn\u2019t, for it was usually the only time he truly got to be by himself.\u00a0 Apart from up here in his room.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked around at his bedroom.\u00a0 It was light and airy and was on the top floor with a window that faced the harbour.\u00a0 His favourite occupation was sitting in the window box and watching the ships coming in and out, trying to imagine where they were going to or coming from.\u00a0 He often asked if he could go down to the harbour to get a closer look, but had to wait until George or Lillian was available to take him.<\/span><\/p>\n

It seemed like there wasn\u2019t anywhere he was allowed to go by himself, and he missed the freedom he had had at home.\u00a0 He missed the wide-open spaces and the lake and his friends and\u2026\u2026 he glanced down at his list, which had nearly covered the whole page now and sighed.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t that he didn\u2019t enjoy the city, and Cousin George and Cousin Lillian were really nice to him, but it just wasn\u2019t home!<\/span><\/p>\n

They had tried hard to include him in things that they thought he would be interested in.\u00a0 He had seen lots of interesting places around the city and been thrilled with most of them.\u00a0 He had lots to do to keep himself busy, but \u2026 he was still lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n

He tried his hardest to be helpful and polite the way he knew his father would expect him to be, and he had mostly been successful.\u00a0 It was fairly easy to be like that here at \u2026.. he didn\u2019t know what to call it here at his cousin\u2019s house.\u00a0 They referred to it as home, but it just didn\u2019t feel like it to him.\u00a0 Yes, it was easy to behave here, but it certainly wasn\u2019t so easy at school.<\/span><\/p>\n

He sighed again when he thought about school.\u00a0 He had never been one to enjoy school that was for sure, but at least back home when things got bad he could do a bit of work and pick his standard up with a minimal effort.\u00a0 But here\u2026.. well things here were just beyond him!<\/span><\/p>\n

The school he had been enrolled in was an all boys\u2019 school with a very good reputation and a high standard.\u00a0 So everyone kept telling him anyway!\u00a0 The problem was that they all expected him to be up to that standard too, and he knew that he wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 For a start they had different teachers for each subjects, not just the one teacher like he had with Miss Jones.\u00a0 Some of the teachers were very strict as well, and they all demanded his attention at all times. There was no gazing out of the window and using flimsy excuses with these teachers that was for sure.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe found it all too much, especially as they expected him to know about subjects he had never learnt before as well. Not only was he expected to know all about Maths and History, but also now he was supposed to be learning about Geography and some language called Latin.\u00a0 It was all too confusing!<\/span><\/p>\n

He wished that Adam were here to help him with all this work.\u00a0 It seemed that the more he tried the more behind he got, and the other boys just treated him like an idiot.\u00a0 They seemed to think that because he was from the country he didn\u2019t know anything, but if the truth were told Joe didn\u2019t really blame them.\u00a0 He appeared not to know anything by their standards anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned as he heard a voice behind him. \u2018Joseph?\u00a0 Are you ready for supper dear?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Cousin Lillian was standing behind him, smiling.\u00a0 He smiled back at her, glad to have an excuse to stop looking at the page in front of him. \u2018Yes, I\u2019m coming,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

She put her arm around him as they descended the stairs and joined George at the table.\u00a0 Well young man, what have you been up to today?\u2019 asked George pleasantly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 \u2018Nothing much,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018How was school?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged again. \u2018All right I guess.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

George and Lillian exchanged a look. \u2018Have you made any friends yet dear?\u2019 Lillian asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Some,\u2019 replied Joe, wishing they would change the subject.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want them to know the problems he was having at school, because he feared that they would try to interfere.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe dear, I\u2019ve had an idea,\u2019 said Lillian. Joe looked at her warily. \u2018A friend of mine is coming to visit on Saturday and I\u2019ve asked her to bring her son to meet you.\u00a0 Won\u2019t that be nice?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders again. \u2018I guess so,\u2019 he said. \u2018What\u2019s this kid like?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s a lovely boy.\u00a0 He\u2019s a year or so younger than you of course, but I think you\u2019ll get on.\u00a0 His name is Tobias.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe made a face. \u2018Tobias?\u00a0 What kind of name is that?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s a lovely name,\u2019 said Lillian. \u2018Now I do hope that you\u2019ll be polite to him dear.\u00a0 Tobias has lived in San Francisco all his life, so I\u2019m sure that if you get on he\u2019d love to help show you around.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah OK,\u2019 said Joe without much enthusiasm.\u00a0 He sighed a he picked up his fork. As if life wasn\u2019t bad enough!\u00a0 Now he had some city kid to try and be polite to as well!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph Cartwright!\u00a0 Did you hear what I said?\u2019\u00a0 Joe jerked his head up at the sound of his name and stared at Mr Conner in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u2018Sir?\u2019 he said, and flinched at the sound of the boys\u2019 laughter behind him. As usual he had been trying to keep up with the lesson, but had found it so boring that his thoughts had begun to wander. Instead of concentrating on the map in front on him he had occupied his mind with thoughts of Cochise and wondering what he might be doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I asked you the capital of Missouri?\u2019 repeated Mr Conner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Um\u2026.. Cincinnati?\u2019 Joe took a stab at it, and then jumped as the ruler in the teacher\u2019s hand came down on his knuckles.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Did you study the Capital Cities at all last night?\u2019 asked Mr Conner again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Um\u2026.. sort of,\u2019 replied Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well you didn\u2019t learn them very well did you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t think an answer for this was required, so he sat silently and looked at the man hoping he would move on to someone else.\u00a0 His hopes were dashed when Mr Conner\u00a0 said, \u2018Stand up please.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see how much just did sink in to that head of yours shall we?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sighed and stood up, dreading what was coming next. \u2018Capital of Pennsylvania?\u2019 asked the teacher.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018New York?\u2019\u00a0 More laughter from the others made Joe turn red.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Massachusetts.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

That one he knew thanks to Adam. \u2018Boston,\u2019 he said confidently.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Better. Delaware?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Um\u2026..Chicago?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

The teacher shook his head. \u2018It seems that you might benefit from an hour\u2019s study of these at lunchtime!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the floor. \u2018Yes sir,\u2019 he mumbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What was that?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes sir,\u2019 he said louder this time.\u00a0 The laughter around him increased as he sat down and stared at his desk.\u00a0 So he\u2019d miss out on lunchtime again \u2013 what did it matter?\u00a0 He stared at the book in front of him and tried to concentrate on it, but was interrupted by a voice behind him.\u00a0 He turned to see William Matthews smiling at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Dummy!\u2019 he whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glared at him. \u2018You shut up!\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What was that Joseph?\u2019 asked Mr Conner from the front of the room. \u2018Did you speak?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at him silently.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I asked if you spoke?\u2019 repeated the teacher.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes sir,\u2019 Joe replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What did you say?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stared at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Stand up and tell the class what you said,\u2019 ordered Mr Conner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood up and faced the man. \u2018Shut up,\u2019 he said looking directly at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Are you telling me to shut up?\u2019 thundered the teacher.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u2018I told William to shut up, but you said to say it so I guess I\u2019m telling you too.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr Conner took two strides down between the desks and held onto Joe\u2019s ear as he pulled him forward. \u2018I\u2019ve had just about enough of your insolence!\u2019 he thundered at him. \u2018Hold out your hand!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did as he was told and tried not to flinch as the leather strap came down upon his palm over and over again. Finally it stopped and he looked at the man in front of him angrily.\u00a0 \u2018Now sit down and don\u2019t open your mouth again unless I tell you to!\u2019 Mr Conner said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat down and hugged his aching hand close to his waist as he tried to concentrate on the class around him.\u00a0 What had he done wrong?\u00a0 He had only answered the question that he\u2019d been asked, and he couldn\u2019t understand why everyone was bound and determined to see him in trouble all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph this is Tobias,\u2019 said Lillian as she beckoned him forward.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled ruefully at the other boy. He was supposedly younger than Joe, but looked physically bigger.\u00a0 He was dressed in a brown suit with his blond hair slicked down carefully and looked Joe up and down with an amused expression on his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Hello,\u2019 said Joe holding out his hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Hello,\u2019 said Tobias ignoring it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Would you like to take Tobias up to your room and show him around now dear?\u2019 asked Lillian.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged and figured he didn\u2019t have much of a choice.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t like the look of the boy, but didn\u2019t quite know why. \u2018He shrugged his shoulders. \u2018Come on,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

As they entered his room he motioned to a chair. \u2018You can sit down if ya like,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

The two boys sat and looked at each other for a few moments. Joe was the first one to break the silence. \u2018So where do you go ta school Toby?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias looked at him and frowned. \u2018My name is Tobias,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. \u2018Yeah whatever,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So I believe you\u2019re not from around here,\u2019 said Tobias. \u2018Exactly where you do you come from?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Nevada,\u2019 said Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias looked at him incredulously. \u2018Are you serious?\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018And just how did you end up here?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What do ya mean?\u00a0 Of course I\u2019m serious, why wouldn\u2019t I be?\u2019 answered Joe indignantly. \u2018This is my cousin\u2019s house.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias snorted. \u2018Well they\u2019re very good to have you here,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe put his chin up and looked at the other boy belligerently. \u2018What\u2019s that supposed ta mean?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well it\u2019s obvious you\u2019re not exactly\u2026.. well shall we say\u2026\u2026born and bred here.\u00a0 It must be quite difficult for your cousins to teach you how to behave in polite society.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stared at the other boy with his mouth open. \u2018You\u2019ve got ta be kidding!\u2019 he said. \u2018You sit there and talk about being polite and you say something like that?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias went red. \u2018Well at least I\u2019m not a ruffian like you,\u2019 he said. \u2018What does your father do anyway? Work on one of those ranches or something?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018As a matter of fact he does,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018He owns one of the biggest ranches around.\u00a0 It\u2019s called The \u2026.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias put up his hand. \u2018I don\u2019t really care what it\u2019s called,\u2019 he said. \u2018I don\u2019t have much interest in things like that.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe made a face at him. \u2018Yeah well I guessed that already,\u2019 he said, resisting an urge to grab the boy. \u2018What do ya like then?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Oh I don\u2019t know. Riding is an interest of mine.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m a good rider,\u2019 said Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias gave him a dark look. \u2018I\u2019m talking about proper riding.\u00a0 Not that roughshod riding you cowboys do,\u2019 he said. \u2018I sit a horse in the correct way.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe snorted. \u2018Really?\u00a0 Well I could outride you any day Toby!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I told you before my name is Tobias.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah I know you did Toby,\u2019 grinned Joe. \u2018So what?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias stood up. \u2018I don\u2019t think this is going to be a very successful afternoon,\u2019 he said. \u2018I think I\u2019ll return downstairs to my mother now.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah fine,\u2019 replied Joe. \u2018You go down to mama Toby.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let me stop ya.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias gave him another dark look as he moved to open the door. \u2018Well at least I have a mother,\u2019 he said. \u2018I believe yours died.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe went red and clenched his fists. \u2018So what if she did?\u2019 he said. \u2018What\u2019s it to you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Nothing to me,\u2019 said Tobias. \u2018Although the way I hear it everyone was glad when she did.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t good enough for your father I believe.\u00a0 So everyone says anyway.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe hit him square on the nose before he could say another word. \u2018Don\u2019t you dare say that!\u00a0 Who\u2019s everyone anyway?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Tobias put his hand up to his nose.\u00a0 \u2018How dare you!\u2019 he yelled. \u2018Don\u2019t you dare lay a hand on me! You\u2019re just a country clod!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah?\u00a0 Well I\u2019ll show ya a country clod!\u2019 yelled Joe and landed another punch on the boy\u2019s eye. \u2018Take that back to ya mama!\u2019 He flung himself on top of the other boy and started hitting him. Suddenly the door opened and Lillian and Tobias\u2019 mother came into the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph! Get off Tobias!\u2019 called Lillian as she bent down to grab hold of his arms. \u2018Get off him Joseph!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked up at her and instantly regretted what he had done. He stood up and looked at Tobias who was lying on the floor snivelling, and watched as his mother helped him up and cuddled him to her. Lillian stood beside him. \u2018Just what was this all about?\u2019 she asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders. \u2018Ask him,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I think it\u2019s obvious what happened here,\u2019 said Tobias\u2019 mother. \u2018We\u2019ll leave before this\u2026\u2026 this child can do any more damage to my son!\u2019\u00a0 And without another word she flounced from the room pulling Tobias behind her.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian gave Joe a sad look and said quietly,\u2019 I think you\u2019d better stay here until your cousin George gets home Joseph,\u2019 she said, and closed the door as she left the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood for a moment to catch his breath and then flung himself down on his bed.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter anyway!\u00a0 Nothing mattered!\u00a0 Now George and Lillian wouldn\u2019t want him around here anymore just like \u2026\u2026\u00a0 He closed his eyes and thought about his father. He missed him so much!\u00a0 Even now when he was in trouble he missed him.\u00a0 Pa would have been so angry about what had just happened.\u00a0 He would have come in and lectured Joe about keeping his temper, and then given him a tanning.\u00a0 After that he would have been expected to go and apologize to Tobias.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just as well Pa\u2019s not here,\u00a0<\/em>he thought.\u00a0Other wise he\u2019d be getting all sick again cause I keep getting into trouble. Anyway, he\u2019d be glad I\u2019m not home causing all this trouble.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t want me there anyways!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

He sat turned his face into the pillow and sobbed quietly for a few minutes, feeling very sorry for himself.\u00a0 He felt so unwanted!\u00a0 Even his own father didn\u2019t want him any more!\u00a0 He decided it was a terrible thing to be alone and unwanted in the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2018Pa?\u2019 said Hoss tapping his father on the shoulder. \u2018Hop Sing said that supper is ready.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018What?\u2019 Ben looked up from gazing at the fire in front of him. \u2018Oh yes.\u00a0 Thank you son.\u2019 He stood and walked to the table, while Hoss and Adam exchanged a look.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So did you get everything on the list this morning?\u2019 asked Adam, trying to make conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Nope.\u00a0 They was all out of flour again,\u2019 replied Hoss. \u2018Hop Sing\u2019s not too happy.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam smiled.\u00a0 \u2018He\u2019ll get over it,\u2019 he said, and then stopped as he saw the cook enter with another platter. Hop Sing glared at him and banged it down on the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss grinned as he helped himself to a generous serving of potatoes. \u2018Abigail Jones was in there.\u00a0 She asked about ya Adam.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam snorted.\u00a0 \u2018Well at least she can\u2019t trap me into talking about Joe now that\u2026..\u2019\u00a0 he stopped.\u00a0 \u2018Now that he\u2019s not around.\u2019\u00a0 He glanced at his father who sat silently eating and noticed the look he gave to the empty chair beside them. \u2018Pa, I\u2019m sure he\u2019s fine,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t need to ask just whom his son referred to. \u2018I\u2019m sure he is too,\u2019 he said, but his look didn\u2019t match his words. \u2018At least he sounded fine in his last letter.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And George and Lillian said that he\u2019s doing well.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018How would they know?\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018Do ya really think Joe\u2019d let on if he wasn\u2019t?\u00a0 You know how stubborn that kid can be. I still think that one of us should go and check on him.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Hoss we\u2019ve been through this before,\u2019 said his father. \u2018He\u2019s only been gone a couple of weeks.\u00a0 How would it look if we all went traipsing up there so soon?\u2019\u00a0 He shook his head. \u2018No, I\u2019m sure he\u2019s all right.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

There was silence for a few moments while they all ate, each with his own thoughts. After a moment Adam broke the silence. \u2018You know Pa I think those timber contracts should be checked don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at him. \u2018I\u2019m sure they\u2019re fine Adam.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No I mean they should be checked out with our lawyers in San Francisco.\u00a0 I could go up there and do it for you if you like.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him. \u2018I suppose that might be a good idea,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018And if you\u2019re up there you could drop in and see George and Lillian.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I could.\u00a0 And Joe too of course while I\u2019m there,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018I could go on Thursday\u2019s stage if you like.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben patted his son\u2019s arm. \u2018I think that would be a good idea Adam,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

\u2018So did you get to the bottom of it?\u2019 asked Adam leaning back on the couch and stretching his long legs forward.<\/p>\n

\u2018I think so,\u2019 replied Lillian pouring him another cup of coffee.\u00a0 \u2018It seems that Tobias had been teasing him about a few things. \u2018He was quite upset.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Still, that\u2019s no reason to hit the boy,\u2019 said Adam with a frown. \u2018Pa wouldn\u2019t be too impressed with him doing it I can assure you.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I know.\u00a0 That\u2019s why George spoke to Joseph about it. He let him know in no uncertain terms that his behaviour wasn\u2019t going to be condoned here.\u2019 She smiled at Adam. \u2018Joseph is going to be so excited that you\u2019ve come Adam. How long can you stay?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Just a couple of days. I suppose you\u2019ve worked out that this trip is a bit of an excuse.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian smiled again. \u2018Oh really?\u00a0 I never would have known!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grinned at her and then turned his head at the sound of the front door opening.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lillian stood up and walked across the room. \u2018That will be Joseph home from school,\u2019 she said.\u00a0 She greeted the boy as he entered the room. \u2018Joseph dear, you have a special visitor.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at her puzzled for a moment and then his eyes darted across the room to where his brother sat grinning at him. \u2018Hello Joe,\u2019 said Adam. Joe practically ran across the room and flung himself at his brother.\u00a0 Adam landed back on the edge of the chair with the force of his brother\u2019s body and laughed over the top of his head as he hugged him.\u00a0 \u2018Well that\u2019s a fine welcome,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s nice to know I\u2019ve been missed.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat back and grinned at him. \u2018Hi Adam,\u2019 he said. \u2018Are Pa and Hoss with ya?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam pretended to look hurt. \u2018No they\u2019re not,\u2019 he said. \u2018Why? Aren\u2019t I enough for you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Of course you are!\u2019 said Joe. \u2018How long are ya here for?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Only a couple of days.\u00a0 I came to do some business for Pa, so I thought I\u2019d check up on you while I\u2019m here to see if you\u2019ve been behaving yourself.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glanced across at Lillian, the memory of George\u2019s talk with him still fresh in his mind. But she smiled at them both and said. \u2018I\u2019m sure that Joseph will tell you all the about the things he has been seeing and doing while he\u2019s been here.\u00a0 He\u2019s got lots to tell you about school haven\u2019t you Joseph?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe smiled at her relieved. \u2018Yes I do,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018There\u2019s a different teacher for each subject Adam, not like at home.\u00a0 And there\u2019s different subjects too, and when we\u2026..\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam put up his hand. \u2018Hold on!\u00a0 I don\u2019t think Lillian meant right this minute,\u2019 he laughed. He turned to Lillian. \u2018Seeing as tomorrow is Saturday, how about I take this youngster off your hands and go somewhere with him?\u00a0 That way we\u2019ll have the chance to talk about things.\u2019\u00a0 He turned to his brother. \u2018How about it Joe?\u00a0 I s there somewhere you\u2019d like to go?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes shone. \u2018Can we go to Ocean Beach?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been there yet and I really want to see the Pacific Ocean.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018All right.\u00a0 Ocean Beach it is,\u2019 said Adam with a smile.\u00a0 He ruffled his brothers curls and tried to wriggle free of his grasp, but Joe held onto him tightly. \u2018Hey let go, you\u2019re squashing me,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018You haven\u2019t missed me that much have you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe reluctantly let go of him and shrugged, trying to look casual about it all. \u2018Nah. I ain\u2019t missed ya at all really,\u2019 he said, and then laughed. \u2018Well maybe just a little bit.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

The two brothers sat side by side on the top of the cliff looking out over the expanse of churning water in front of them.\u00a0 The strong ocean breeze whipped up their hair and cause them both to tuck their arms around their waists and hold their jackets to their bodies tightly.\u00a0 \u2018Look at those rocks over there Joe,\u2019 said Adam pointing to the outcrops that pierced through the water and pointed heavenwards.\u00a0 \u2018Just think how long the ocean has been swirling around them for.\u2019<\/p>\n

Joe glanced at them, then fixed his gaze once again on the vast expanse of water.\u00a0 So if we went straight out across here we\u2019d get to China at the end?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well actually you\u2019d get to the islands of Japan first,\u2019 replied his brother.\u00a0 \u2018But China is in that general direction, yes.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018How long would it take ta get there?\u2019 asked Joe, expecting Adam to have all the answers as usual.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Weeks,\u2019 his brother replied. \u2018Why don\u2019t you ask Hop Sing?\u00a0 He\u2019s done it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Oh yeah, I guess he has,\u2019 said Joe thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u2018Adam, did Pa ever sail on the Pacific Ocean?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No, just the Atlantic I think.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know that he ever went around the Horn. Why don\u2019t you ask him?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Mmm, I will in my next letter,\u2019 Joe replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So how has it been going then?\u00a0 Are you enjoying living with George and Lillian?\u2019 asked Adam, looking carefully at his brother\u2019s face to gauge his reply.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe kept his expression carefully under control. \u2018Yeah, they\u2019re nice.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And how about school?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. \u2018It\u2019s OK.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Really?\u00a0 You never liked school before,\u2019 replied his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah well, I ain\u2019t changed my opinion about it much either,\u2019 replied Joe. \u2018It\u2019s harder here too.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u2018Yes, well it would be.\u00a0 Are you coping with it?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged again. \u2018I guess.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam interpreted that to mean the exact opposite.\u00a0 Many years of reading his brothers\u2019 body language was coming in handy to him. \u2018So why\u2019s it so hard then?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at him for a moment, and then the words came tumbling out. \u2018Well they\u2019re just so strict!\u00a0 We get so much homework, and I just can\u2019t understand it all!\u00a0 There\u2019s subjects I\u2019ve never done before too and they all expect me to know about them!\u00a0 I can\u2019t help it if I don\u2019t!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u2018I know how you feel.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stared at him. \u2018How would you know?\u2019 he asked. \u2018You always knew everything at school.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u2018No Joe, I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Don\u2019t forget it was years before I even got to go to a proper school.\u00a0 When I did I admit I did pretty well, but when I went away to College it was a different story.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Really?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes.\u00a0 I thought I was doing pretty well, but when I came across all the others who had been to schools back east all their lives, well\u2026\u2026. let\u2019s just say it was hard at first to keep up.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

But you did so well at College!\u2019\u00a0 said Joe amazed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes, but not at first.\u00a0 And it took a lot of hard work I can tell you.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t just happen overnight, that\u2019s for sure.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe studied his brother for a moment with a fresh look.\u00a0 It was strange to think of Adam having to struggle with anything in his life.\u00a0 He had always seemed so perfect to Joe.\u00a0 Someone who had always known all the answers!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So you see,\u2019 Adam continued. \u2018If you want to succeed you just have to take things from where you are and work on it.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s easy, but you\u2019ll do all right if you work at it.\u00a0 You do work don\u2019t you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked away from him. \u2018Well\u2026\u2026.\u00a0 most of the time.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.\u00a0 After a moment he said, \u2018Have you made friends?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was silent.\u00a0 How could he tell his brother that he didn\u2019t think anyone liked him?\u00a0 Joe had always been used to being the most popular boy around, and he found it hard to take when he was placed in a position where no one knew him and he had to establish himself from nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe?\u2019\u00a0 Adam asked again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No one special,\u2019 he finally said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam drew a deep breath. \u2018Well don\u2019t worry, you will.\u00a0 That takes time too.\u00a0 You\u2019ve only been here a couple of weeks Joe, give it time.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded, unconvinced. \u2018Sure,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 He lifted his head. \u2018So how are Pa and Hoss?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018They\u2019re fine. They both send you their love,\u2019 replied Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, Hoss\u2019d miss me,\u2019 Joe left it at that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at him intently. \u2018They both miss you,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah whatever,\u2019 Joe replied with a shrug of his shoulders. \u2018Is Pa better?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Much,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018He\u2019s nearly back to his old self now.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah of course he is,\u2019\u00a0<\/em>thought Joe.\u00a0 That\u2019s cause I\u2019m not there to cause him any worry now.\u00a0 He\u2019s happy now that I\u2019m not around no more!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Pa misses you Joe,\u2019 Adam said, and looked at the boy with a puzzled expression when he didn\u2019t reply.\u00a0 \u2018Hey buddy, is everything OK?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked as carefree as he knew how. \u2018Yeah.\u00a0 Why wouldn\u2019t it be?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I just thought you might be a bit homesick or something,\u2019 said Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Nah!\u2019 Joe lied. \u2018San Francisco is too much fun.\u00a0 There\u2019s lots to do here, and I might even stay longer.\u2019\u00a0Why should I go home to someone who don\u2019t even want me?\u00a0<\/em>he thought.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t think Pa would be too happy about that,\u2019 said Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Bet he would,\u2019 said Joe under his breath and Adam pretended he didn\u2019t hear the remark.\u00a0\u00a0 Now why would his brother think that Pa didn\u2019t want him to come home?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Pa was saying the other night how the Ponderosa is so different since you left,\u2019 he said trying to draw his brother out to say what was on his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah I bet he did!\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Joe thought.\u00a0 He\u2019d think it was real different not having ta go mad on me all the time.\u00a0 Bet he\u2019s real happy about that!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was taken aback. It was so obvious to him just how homesick Joe was.\u00a0 He could see it in his face every time he looked at him, but there was no way that his younger brother was going to admit to it.\u00a0 And he seemed to think that Pa didn\u2019t want him to come home!\u00a0 Adam wondered why. After all, it had been the boy\u2019s final decision to come here, and Pa had made it very clear to him that he could come home at any time.\u00a0 Why would he believe that he wasn\u2019t wanted?<\/span><\/p>\n

He put his arm around his brother\u2019s shoulder. \u2018Joe, Pa misses you very much.\u00a0 He\u2019d love you to come home whenever you\u2019re ready to.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his brother\u2019s arm off. \u2018I just told ya, I\u2019m thinking of staying here for even longer.\u2019\u00a0 He glanced at his brother to see if he was buying it.\u00a0 \u2018I might even stay here and live forever until I\u2019m grown up, so tell Pa he don\u2019t need ta worry about me coming home!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

He stood up and walked away from the cliff face before Adam might check out the look on his face and guess his true feelings.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want anyone saying he could come home out of pity.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t want him, that was obvious, so he was determined that he wouldn\u2019t show them that he wanted them either!<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam shook his head as he watched his brother walk away.\u00a0 What had gotten into the boy?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u2018Well then, are there any messages for Pa and Hoss?\u2019 Adam said, trying to sound light hearted and bright.\u00a0 His brother was clinging to his arm and trying not to show how concerned he was about Adam leaving, but it was obvious to all of them that he was quite upset.<\/p>\n

Joe thought for a moment. \u2018Yeah.\u00a0 You can tell them all about the things I\u2019ve seen here.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam studied him intently. \u2018Anything else?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the ground. \u2018Tell Hoss ta look after Cochise for me.\u00a0 Tell him I miss Cooch and him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam smiled to himself as he thought about Hoss\u2019 reaction to being placed second to a horse.\u00a0 \u2018And anything to tell Pa?\u2019 he prompted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was silent. \u2018Just tell him what I said about staying here,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam put his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u2018You know Joe, you could home if you wanted to.\u00a0 Pa would be real pleased if I got off that stage with you beside me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took a step back. \u2018No,\u2019 he said, still studying the ground. \u2018Bye Adam.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam shot a worried look at George and Lillian. \u2018Bye little buddy,\u2019 he said. \u2018You take care of yourself.\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded and stepped forward to hug his brother around the waist.\u00a0 As Adam put his arms around him he could feel the boy\u2019s body trembling and he put his hand under his chin to lift his face up, but Joe shrugged it off and stepped away from him again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Bye,\u2019 he said simply, and put his hands in his pockets as he looked into the distance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam turned to say goodbye to George and Lillian, and said in a quiet voice. \u2018I\u2019ll talk to Pa about him.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

They both nodded as Adam turned to get into the stage, and Lillian put her arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder. This time he didn\u2019t shrug it off, but stood there mournfully waving as his brother disappeared into the distance.\u00a0 With a sigh he turned to walk away down the street in between George and Lillian.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\u2018But why on earth would he think that?\u2019\u00a0 said Ben. \u2018I told him he could home at any time.\u00a0 I thought I made it very clear to him that it was his decision to go in the first place.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t know Pa.\u00a0 I could be wrong of course, but I don\u2019t think so,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018I just got the impression that he thinks he\u2019s not wanted here anymore. Who knows how that boy\u2019s mind works sometimes.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stared into the fireplace. \u2018Well I can\u2019t have him believing that!\u2019 he said. \u2018The last thing in the world I want is for Joseph to live away from us.\u00a0 I just thought it was what he wanted that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m not so sure that it is what he wants,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018But you know what a stubborn little cuss he is.\u00a0 He won\u2019t admit it.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u2018Well I won\u2019t have it!\u00a0 That boy may be stubborn, but I will not allow him to go on believing that he\u2019s not wanted here. Even if I have to go and tell him so myself.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

He stood up and marched over to his desk.\u00a0 As he sat down and picked up a pen and a piece of paper he said, \u2018Hoss would you take this into town please?\u00a0 I\u2019d like this wire sent straight away to George.\u00a0 And book me a ticket on Friday\u2019s stage to San Francisco.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes sir,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018I sure will.\u00a0 You gonna bring that little guy back with ya Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know,\u2019 his father replied as he continued to write. \u2018I\u2019ll have to see what he says when I get there.\u00a0 But one thing\u2019s for certain, I\u2019m going to find out exactly what that boy is thinking and set him straight!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

Joe walked along the street, one foot in the gutter and one foot on the sidewalk.\u00a0 He inched his way up and down, taking care not to tread in any of the horses\u2019 droppings as he passed them.\u00a0 His day had school had been a bit better, and he thought that maybe things were beginning to look up.\u00a0 He had really tried during the past few days to follow Adam\u2019s advice, and had made a great effort with both his homework and listening in class.\u00a0 While he still felt very much behind, at least he had not done too badly on the assignments he had been given.<\/p>\n

Just as well!\u00a0<\/em>he thought ruefully.\u00a0If I\u2019m gonna be here for a long time, then I\u2019ll have to get used to it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>His thoughts ran away with him and he began to visualise what he would look like in years to come when he finally did make it back to The Ponderosa.\u00a0 He would be fully grown by then, and his fertile imagination pictured himself looking at an old Cochise who didn\u2019t even recognise him any more.\u00a0 He sighed as he wondered if Cochise would even be alive when he did return.\u00a0 He conveniently forgot for the moment that San Francisco was only a few days away from his home.\u00a0 He preferred in his mournful state to think of himself as very isolated from his family, as it seemed to make his situation more dramatic.<\/span><\/p>\n

He sighed as he kicked a stone in the gutter, stepping up as a carriage went close by him.\u00a0 He watched as it pulled up outside his cousins\u2019 house, and wondered who could possibly be visiting them at this time of the afternoon.\u00a0 Joe opened his mouth in amazement as he saw his father step out of the carriage and onto the sidewalk and his first instinct was to run to the man.\u00a0 He had missed him so much and just to see him caused a thrill to pass through him.<\/span><\/p>\n

But instead of running forward, for some reason he hesitated and drew back into the shadow of the building and watched his father walk up the front steps and enter the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why would he be visiting?\u00a0 Adam had just left and he had said nothing about Pa coming to stay. He mustn\u2019t have known then.\u00a0 Why would Pa have decided so quickly to come, and why wouldn\u2019t George or Lillian have told him? Whatever the reason, Joe was very glad that he had.\u00a0 He smiled and started to take a step forward again, then hesitated for a second time.<\/span><\/p>\n

How could he go in there and show Pa how pleased he was to see him?\u00a0 That would be a big mistake.\u00a0 His father would maybe feel obligated to tell Joe he wanted him to go back home with him, and Joe didn\u2019t want any pity.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to go home to a family who didn\u2019t need or want him there.\u00a0 He shook his head and squared his shoulders back with a resolve that he hoped he could keep up.\u00a0 He mustn\u2019t let Pa know how he was really feeling!\u00a0 He had to pretend that he didn\u2019t really care about coming home, and that he preferred to stay here.\u00a0 That way Pa could leave and not be bothered with him. As he mounted the steps he prayed that he\u2019d be able to pull it off.<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe entered the room his father turned around and smiled as he held out his arms to him. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father, fighting desperately the urge to run to him. \u2018Hello Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018What are you doing here?\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t say you were coming.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was startled.\u00a0 He had expected the boy to come running straight towards him, and couldn\u2019t believe that the youngster who was standing there welcoming him so coolly was his son.\u00a0 He took a couple of steps forward and grabbed the boy to him. \u2018Joseph!\u2019 he repeated as he hugged him tightly.\u00a0 He frowned as he felt his son\u2019s body stiffen against his.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a moment he took a step back and looked at him closely. \u2018I\u2019m so glad to see you son,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head at his father and gave him a tentative smile. \u2018Me too Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018How come you\u2019re here?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned again. Where was his exuberant boy?\u00a0 Where was the Joseph he knew and loved so much?\u00a0 Who had replaced him with this cool and appraising young man?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve come to see you of course,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 \u2018I just had to know how you were getting on.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Didn\u2019t Adam tell you?\u2019\u00a0 asked Joe. \u2018I told him all about what was happening here.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded as he reached out to stroke the boy\u2019s head. \u2018Yes of course he did.\u00a0 But I meant how you are, not what you\u2019ve been doing.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m fine,\u2019 said Joe in what he hoped was an offhanded manner. \u2018How are you Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at him amazed. \u2018I\u2019m much better now Joe.\u00a0 Let\u2019s sit and talk for a while shall we?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Sure.\u00a0 If ya want to.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben pulled him over to the couch and sat down next to him. He stroked the boy\u2019s hair and looked at him lovingly, wondering why Joe seemed to be avoiding looking at him. \u2018Joe?\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve missed you boy.\u2019 Joe nodded his head, but said nothing. Ben tried again. \u2018It just doesn\u2019t seem the same without you at home.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded again. \u2018Probably it\u2019s a lot quieter,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u2018Yes it is, I must admit that.\u2019\u00a0 There was silence again as he waited for his son to speak. After a few minutes he said. \u2018I thought you\u2019d be happy to see me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I am.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

There was silence again for a moment, then Joe looked up. \u2018How long are ya staying for Pa?\u2019 he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well I can stay for a few days if you\u2019d like me to,\u2019 said Ben, looking at his son carefully.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s up to you Joseph.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Whatever you want Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have ta excuse me now though, I\u2019ve got homework and I know you\u2019d want me to do it.\u2019 He stood up and turned to leave.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Of course son,\u2019 said his father with a puzzled expression on his face. \u2018I\u2019ll see you at supper. He watched the boy bound quickly up the stairs two at a time.\u00a0 What was going on?\u00a0 Why was Joseph acting like this? He couldn\u2019t understand it, but was determined to find out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

Supper that evening was a dismal affair, with George and Lillian fighting a losing battle to keep the conversation going. Ben studied his son throughout the meal trying to get an idea why he was acting in this way.\u00a0 Joe sat quietly trying desperately to appear polite but detached with his father.\u00a0 It was harder than he could have imagined, and there were times when he felt his resolve weakening.\u00a0 He longed to stand up, walk around the table and give the man a hug, but didn\u2019t dare to. He just couldn\u2019t stand the rejection that he thought might be on his father\u2019s face and so he even avoided looking him in the eye.\u00a0 If he had looked long enough he would have seen the longing that was there, but due to his stubbornness he missed it.<\/p>\n

At the end of the meal he excused himself as soon as he thought it was polite to do so.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t take sitting there any longer than was necessary and wondered how he was going to get through the next few days.<\/span><\/p>\n

After the boy had left the room, Ben turned to George and Lillian. \u2018What is going on?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Do you know?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

George shook his head. \u2018No.\u00a0 He hasn\u2019t been like this with us.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Has he been in any trouble?\u2019 asked Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

They looked at each other. \u2018I don\u2019t think he\u2019s terribly happy at school, but then I\u2019m sure Adam told you that,\u2019 said Lillian. \u2018To be honest Ben I think he\u2019s very homesick.\u00a0 He misses you all terribly.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Then why is he acting like this?\u2019 said Ben bewildered. \u2018I\u2019ve never seen him like this before.\u00a0 It\u2019s as if he just doesn\u2019t care, yet I know that he does.\u00a0 Why would he feel that he doesn\u2019t want me to know that?\u00a0 I think Adam might be right.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018About what?\u2019 asked George.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Adam thinks that Joe is under the impression that we don\u2019t want him any more.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Why on earth would he think that?\u2019 exclaimed Lillian.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u2018I just can\u2019t work it out.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to find out though.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Later that evening as Joe was getting ready for bed, he heard a knock on the door.\u00a0 \u2018Joseph, may I come in?\u2019 He frowned when he heard his father\u2019s voice. He had hoped that Pa wouldn\u2019t come to say goodnight, as it had always been the time of the day when they had bonded closely, and Joe didn\u2019t know how he could possibly keep his act up if his father started to get sentimental on him.\u00a0 But he didn\u2019t know how to avoid it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Sure Pa, he said as he pulled his nightshirt over his head. Ben entered the room to see his son getting in under the covers.\u00a0 He reached out to help him, but Joe managed to pull them up before he could put his hand on them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I came to say good night,\u2019 said Ben sitting down on the edge of the bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Goodnight,\u2019 said Joe, looking at the covers and straightening them up.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, I\u2019d like to talk to you,\u2019 said Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m kinda tired Pa,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018And I gotta go to school tomorrow so I have ta get some sleep.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben clenched his jaw. \u2018This won\u2019t take long Joe. I just want to know what\u2019s going on with you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to fiddle with the bedcovers. \u2018Nothing\u2019s going on with me Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m just tired now that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u2018I don\u2019t mean right at this moment Joe.\u00a0 I mean why have you been acting like this?\u2019 Joe was silent. \u2018You haven\u2019t been your usual self since I got here Joe.\u00a0 Is there something wrong?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u2018No.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Then why are you acting like this? If I didn\u2019t know better, I\u2019d think you didn\u2019t even want to see me,\u2019 said Ben trying to gauge his son\u2019s reaction to his words. \u2018You are aren\u2019t you?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded. Of course I am,\u2019 he said. He rolled over and faced the wall, and flinched when he felt his father\u2019s hand stroking his hair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, you do know that I love you very much don\u2019t you son?\u00a0 I\u2019d really love it if you\u2019d come home with me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe closed his eyes and bit his lip. \u2018I think it\u2019s better if I stay here in San Francisco Pa,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Why Joe?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Cause I like it here,\u2019 he lied. \u2018I told Adam that.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t have ta come and ask me yourself.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I wanted you to understand how I felt,\u2019 said his father. \u2018I know we had some problems together before you left Joe, but it doesn\u2019t mean that I don\u2019t love you just as mush as I always did.\u00a0 I miss you son, and I want you to come home.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe kept his eyes shut and tried to block out his father\u2019s words. He didn\u2019t want to listen to him saying things out of pity for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe?\u2019 said his father. \u2018did you hear me son?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018But I\u2019m kinda tired now Pa.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sighed and stood up. \u2018All right.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about it tomorrow son. You think about what I\u2019ve said. Goodnight.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Goodnight.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben left the room Joe opened his eyes again.\u00a0 He stared at the wall in front of him and let the tears fall down his face freely.\u00a0 Angrily he wiped them away and sniffed.\u00a0 He would not give in!\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t go home knowing that they really didn\u2019t want him there!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

For the next couple of days Ben tried desperately to reach his son, but it seemed like nothing he said made any difference to him.\u00a0 That boy was just so stubborn! He just wouldn\u2019t give in and admit that he wanted to come home, when Ben could tell that he was yearning to do just that.\u00a0 No matter how many times Ben told him that he loved him and needed him, he just didn\u2019t seem to listen. It was as if he\u2019d put up a wall between them, and Ben didn\u2019t know to knock it down.<\/p>\n

He was beginning to think that he would have to return home without him, or at least making peace with him, and that really scared him.\u00a0 He felt like he was losing his son, that the gap between them was widening and he would never be able to mend it again.\u00a0 On the afternoon before he was due to leave, he sat in the small garden behind the house and prayed for guidance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Marie help me!<\/em>\u00a0he thought.\u00a0How do I reach our boy?<\/em>\u00a0Give me the right words to say to make him believe that I love him and want him.\u00a0<\/em>He turned as he heard a movement behind him and turned to see Joseph standing there.\u00a0\u00a0Well that\u2019s a start at least.\u00a0 He\u2019s come to me!\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019s reaching out for me at last?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Hello son,\u2019 he said and patted the bench beside him. \u2018Come and sit with me for a while.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat down.\u00a0 \u2018Pa are ya really going home tomorrow?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Yes, I have to go.\u00a0 I just wish you\u2019d come with me.\u2019 Joe looked away form him. \u2018Son I\u2019ve told you before, I want you to come home.\u00a0 I think it was a mistake for me to let you come here in the first place.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father. \u2018Why?\u00a0 You said it\u2019d be good for me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes I did, and I still believe that Joe.\u00a0 But I think it\u2019s more important for you to be with your family.\u00a0 You brothers want you to be at home with them and so do I.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glared at the ground in front of him. \u2018Yeah right,\u2019 he muttered.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben put his hand under his son\u2019s chin and pulled his face up so that he had no option but to look into his eyes. \u2018Why don\u2019t you believe me Joe?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to look away, but his father had a firm grip on his chin and he couldn\u2019t move. He looked into his father\u2019s eyes and saw the confusion and hurt there and swallowed before he replied. \u2018Because you\u2019re only saying that to make me feel better,\u2019 he mumbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joe shook his head and put his hand up to push his father\u2019s hand away. \u2018Nothing,\u2019 he murmured.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph why on earth would you think I would lie to you?\u00a0 I want you to look at me and tell me that I\u2019ve ever lied to you before. Have I?\u2019\u00a0 Joe shook his head. \u2018Then why would I start now?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So you wouldn\u2019t hurt my feelings,\u2019 Joe replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Joseph I want you to listen carefully to me,\u2019 said Ben.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019m going to tell you a true story.\u00a0 It\u2019s about the most stubborn person I\u2019ve ever known.\u2019\u00a0 Ben paused. \u2018Do you know who I\u2019m talking about Joe?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Me I guess,\u2019 mumbled Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No, not you.\u00a0 It\u2019s about your mother,\u2019 replied Ben and smiled when the boy\u2019s head shot up.\u00a0 \u2018Yes, he continued, \u2018your mother was just about the stubbornest person God put breath into.\u00a0 She wouldn\u2019t give an inch if she felt she was right about something.\u00a0 You remind me a lot of her.\u2019 Joe was listening now to his father intently.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I remember one time when she and I had had an argument about something,\u2019 Ben continued. \u2018I was very busy with things on the ranch at the time, and she wasn\u2019t\u2026. well she wasn\u2019t very well.\u00a0 It was right before you were due to be born.\u2019 Joe listened fascinated.\u00a0 He loved hearing stories about his mother, and this sounded like something new that his father had never shared with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well we had a silly argument.\u00a0 I really don\u2019t even remember what it was about.\u00a0 I stormed out of the house and went to work, and when I got home late that afternoon your mother wasn\u2019t there.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Where had she gone?\u2019 asked Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well I didn\u2019t know at first. It took me hours to work out that she had gone into town and was staying at the hotel.\u00a0 I can tell you they were the longest hours of my life.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Why?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Because I thought I had lost her.\u00a0 I thought she had left and wasn\u2019t coming back to me.\u00a0 I realized at that time Joe just how much I loved her, and I couldn\u2019t stand the thought of her going away.\u00a0 Anyway, when I finally found her in town I had to use all my best arguments to convince her to come back with me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018And did she?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Of course she did. And you were born exactly one week later.\u2019\u00a0 Ben smiled at his son. \u2018I couldn\u2019t let you be born anywhere but at The Ponderosa could I?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe smiled back at his father. \u2018No I guess not.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018You see Joe the important thing I\u2019m trying to tell you is that I wasn\u2019t just fighting to get your mother back, I was fighting to get something else as well. Something very precious to me.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father with a puzzled expression on his face. \u2018What Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018You,\u2019 said his father gently. \u2018I was fighting for the love of my wife and my child.\u00a0 Two of the most important things in my life, along with your two brothers. If I let your mother go at that time, then I would have lost not only her but you, and that I just couldn\u2019t take.\u2019\u00a0 Joe sat silently next to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I remember the next week on the night you were born,\u2019 continued Ben. \u2018We were all very worried about you because you were so tiny and you wanted to be born the wrong way.\u2019 Joe glanced at his father with a puzzled look. \u2018You remember I\u2019ve told you before,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018You were what is called a breech birth.\u00a0 You came out the wrong way.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Oh yes,\u2019 said Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well the doctor and your mother and I were so worried about you.\u00a0 When it was all over we all breathed a sigh of relief that you and your mother were all right.\u00a0 I remember sitting next to her bed when the doctor had gone downstairs.\u00a0 There were just the two of us there together and I was making sure that your mother was all right.\u2019 Joe sat entranced by his father\u2019s words.\u00a0 He had never heard about the night of his birth before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well suddenly you started squirming and crying.\u00a0 I looked at your mother and realised that she had fallen asleep, so I bent down and picked you up from your cradle.\u2019\u00a0 Ben smiled as he thought back to that precious moment so many years ago.\u00a0 \u2018As I sat there looking at you I suddenly realised that we weren\u2019t just the two of us in that room together, we were the three of us.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his son and reached over to massage the back of his neck. \u2018It was at that moment that you opened your eyes and looked at me, and\u2026..\u2019\u00a0 he stopped.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at him. \u2018And what Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u2018And\u2026\u2026\u2019 he choked with emotion as he spoke the words, \u2018and I realised in that moment just how dear you were to me.\u00a0 I had come so close to losing you that night, and I had no intention of ever going through that again.\u00a0 Not then, and certainly not now.\u2019\u00a0 He drew the boy close to him. \u2018Joseph I can\u2019t bear the thought of losing you.\u00a0 I love you so much son.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Even when I\u2019m bad?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u2018Even when you\u2019re bad.\u00a0 Fathers don\u2019t just love their children every now and then you know.\u00a0 A father\u2019s love is for always.\u00a0 It never ends.\u2019\u00a0 He looked down into the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moved forward and leant close to his father. \u2018But Pa\u2026\u2026\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018What is it son?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I can\u2019t stop being bad.\u00a0 I can\u2019t be good all the time.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I know that Joe.\u00a0 I would never expect you to be good all the time.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t be my Joseph if you were.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018But if I come back home you might get sick again, having to put up with me being bad.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben hugged his child closer to him. \u2018Is that what you\u2019ve been thinking?\u2019\u00a0 Joe nodded and sniffled against his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u2018Joe you didn\u2019t make me sick.\u00a0 It was a lot of things all together that made that happen. I t wasn\u2019t you son.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I felt like it was.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve been scared to come home because I thought you might get sick again and I thought that you didn\u2019t \u2026. didn\u2019t want me.\u00a0 I thought you were sick of having me around.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018But you don\u2019t think that anymore do you Joseph?\u2019\u00a0 said his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe hugged his father even tighter. \u2018No, I don\u2019t think that anymore Pa,\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

Adam leant against the post of the stage office and watched amused as his brother hopped from one foot onto the other. For such a big man, Hoss could certainly move when he wanted to. \u2018That\u2019s not going to make it come any quicker you know,\u2019 he said with a grin. \u2018It\u2019ll get here when it gets here.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well dadburnit, why does it have ta be late today of all days?\u2019 replied Hoss giving him a pained look.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018You know very well it\u2019s late every time it\u2019s due,\u2019 said Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yes but we\u2019re not waiting fer it all them other times,\u2019 replied Hoss with a grin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam stood up straight. \u2018Well I think the wait\u2019s over brother,\u2019 he said, indicating the trace of dust in the distance. \u2018Here it comes now.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

The two brothers stood side by side as they watched the stagecoach come in.\u00a0 Before it had completely stopped the door was flung open and they heard their father\u2019s voice shouting from inside. \u2018Joseph!\u00a0 I said to wait until we had stopped.\u00a0 Get back in here young man!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

They grinned at each other. \u2018Seems like nothing much has changed,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018That\u2019s our little brother all \u2026.\u2019 His words were cut short as his youngest brother flung himself on him and hugged around the neck.\u00a0 He endured it for a moment, and then tried to disengage the arms that held onto him. \u2018Come on Joe.\u00a0 I only saw you last week!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah but I didn\u2019t,\u2019 said Hoss with a grin as he stepped forward and lifted the boy bodily up into the air and spun him around to face him. \u2018Here, how about a hug for me short shanks?\u2019\u00a0 He gave his brother a hug that just about knocked the breath out of him, and then put him down on his feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grinned up at his two older brothers. \u2018Hi!\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m back!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Apparently so,\u2019 said Adam dryly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018How\u2019s Cooch Hoss?\u2019 asked Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss stepped back to reveal the horse tied up behind him. See for yourself,\u2019 he said.\u00a0 I knew you\u2019d want ta see him straight away.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Coochie!\u2019\u00a0 said Joe delightedly as he jumped forward to hug the horse\u2019s neck.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well I don\u2019t know about your priorities Joseph,\u2019 said his father behind him when he had finished greeting his two sons.\u00a0 \u2018You seem to be more pleased to see that horse than your brothers.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018No I ain\u2019t Pa, you know that!\u2019 said Joe. \u2018It\u2019s just that Coochie\u2019s only got me, but we\u2019ve all got each other. Can I ride him home?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I suppose so,\u2019 said his father as he noticed Hoss\u2019 horse Chubb next to Cochise.\u00a0 \u2018Adam and I will go in the buggy and you and Hoss can ride alongside us on your horses.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grinned at him and mounted up straight away. \u2018It\u2019s great to be back,\u2019 he said as they began to move down the street. \u2018Hey Pa,\u2019 he added as they passed the schoolhouse. \u2018I don\u2019t have to go back to school straight away do I?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Why wouldn\u2019t you?\u2019 replied his father. \u2018There\u2019s no need not to.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah but I figured that I probably deserve a holiday because of all the work I\u2019ve done in San Francisco,\u2019 said Joe.\u00a0 \u2018I\u2019ll be ahead of everyone here, so it\u2019s only fair that I have some time off to give them the chance to catch up.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well you figured wrong,\u2019 said his father. \u2018You\u2019ll be off to school on Monday as usual young man.\u2019 Joe pulled a face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t you start that again,\u2019 said Adam. \u2018I thought you were going to behave yourself from now on.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Oh yeah I am,\u2019 explained Joe seriously. \u2018But I can\u2019t be good all the time.\u00a0 Besides, Pa\u2019s given me permission to be bad now and then, ain\u2019t ya Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I most certainly did not!\u2019 replied his father. \u2018I said that I didn\u2019t expect you to be perfect, but I do expect that you try Joseph.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Well that\u2019s the same thing,\u2019 said Joe. \u2018I\u2019m gonna try hard Pa, honest I am.\u00a0 But there\u2019s gonna be times that I\u2019m bad now and then no matter how hard I try.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s for sure,\u2019 said Hoss with a grin. \u2018The day you become perfect short shanks is the day people start calling me thin.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe laughed. \u2018Don\u2019t worry Hoss we love ya just the way you are, don\u2019t we Pa?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled at all his boys. \u2018Yes Joseph, we do.\u00a0 I love you all just the way you are, and I always will.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his three boys with love in his heart, and thought back to the words he had said to his youngest son a few days before.\u00a0Yes Joseph it\u2019s true. A father\u2019s love is for always.\u00a0 It never ends.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The End<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0A misunderstanding causes Joe to feel his father doesn’t want him to live on The Ponderosa any more. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated: K \u00a0WC 24,000<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":12983,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,1007,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-joe-cartwright","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1007-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":4196,"today_views":4},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Season-1-00003.jpg?fit=576%2C432&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":2291,"position":0},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4454,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4454","url_meta":{"origin":2291,"position":1},"title":"How To Say Goodbye (by JoeC)","author":"JoeC","date":"February 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: There comes a time when we need to say goodbye to a beloved person \u00a0 Rating: K+ WC 1300 Warnings: Character death","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/benb.jpg?fit=306%2C327&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17742,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=17742","url_meta":{"origin":2291,"position":2},"title":"Without You (by PSW)","author":"PSW","date":"July 14, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: The brothers share a bittersweet day.\u00a0 Written for the July 15 Pinecone Challenge and (very slightly) expanded for inclusion here.\u00a0 Prompt\/lyrics: God only knows what I'd be without you. (Brian Wilson, Tony Asher) Rating: K\u00a0 \u00a0WC: 576","rel":"","context":"In "Short Stories"","block_context":{"text":"Short Stories","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=8"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/488C0EA0-90EC-4A50-88D0-843B02C51C1F.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/488C0EA0-90EC-4A50-88D0-843B02C51C1F.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/488C0EA0-90EC-4A50-88D0-843B02C51C1F.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/488C0EA0-90EC-4A50-88D0-843B02C51C1F.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/488C0EA0-90EC-4A50-88D0-843B02C51C1F.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13202,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13202","url_meta":{"origin":2291,"position":3},"title":"The Funeral (by silver sven)","author":"silver sven","date":"August 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0a missing scene from \u201cForever\u201d Rated: \u00a0K+\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Word count: \u00a0971","rel":"","context":"In "Missing Scene"","block_context":{"text":"Missing Scene","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=61"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Poker-2016.png?fit=1109%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Poker-2016.png?fit=1109%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Poker-2016.png?fit=1109%2C750&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Poker-2016.png?fit=1109%2C750&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Poker-2016.png?fit=1109%2C750&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2951,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2951","url_meta":{"origin":2291,"position":4},"title":"The End (by faust)","author":"faust","date":"June 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"It's the end. The end of everything--or is it? No KAOS in this story. Honestly! 700 words, rated K","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/The-Gift-of-Water-4.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/The-Gift-of-Water-4.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/The-Gift-of-Water-4.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7641,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7641","url_meta":{"origin":2291,"position":5},"title":"None Were The Lovingest (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Ben and Little Joe discuss his father's three wives. Rated:\u00a0K\u00a0 Word count:\u00a0658","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ponderosa-lj.jpg?fit=640%2C475&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ponderosa-lj.jpg?fit=640%2C475&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ponderosa-lj.jpg?fit=640%2C475&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2291"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2291\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12983"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}