{"id":2324,"date":"2007-12-17T08:49:30","date_gmt":"2007-12-17T13:49:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2324"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:12:40","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:12:40","slug":"seasons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2324","title":{"rendered":"Seasons (by Dodo)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: <\/span>A Year of tragedy for Joe Cartwright.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K+\u00a0 Word Count:\u00a0 18259<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Seasons<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 1:<\/p>\n

Autumn to Winter, Winter to Spring,
\nSpring to Summer, Summer into fall,
\nSo rolls the changing year, and so we change,
\nMotion so swift, we know not that we move.<\/p>\n

SPRING<\/p>\n

\u00a0 The clock in the corner struck 8am as Ben and his two eldest sons sat around the breakfast table; their meal finished. With clear instructions as to the days itinerary Adam and Hoss were just about to leave when, as if on cue, Joe could be heard upstairs as he slammed closed his bedroom door and rushed downstairs, taking the steps two at a time, his boots clattering on the wooden floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Pa, slept in again I guess,\u201d he apologised while slipping into his chair and pouring out a cup of lukewarm coffee.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss viewed their younger brother with amusement, noting his dishevelled hair and unbuttoned shirt as he began to help himself to a large measure of scrambled eggs.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I do wish you would dress before you came to the table!\u201d rebuked Ben as he looked at his youngest with a disapproving glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh! Sorry Pa,\u201d replied Joe, placing down his fork then buttoning up his shirt and slicking down his hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cLate night again Joe?\u201d inquired Adam with a knowing wink, though he already knew the answer.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded over to his brother and gave him a beaming smile. \u201cHad a wonderful evening Adam. Just talked and talked for hours,\u201d he sighed wistfully. “You should try it sometime!”<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how you got the strength little brother,\u201d added Hoss. \u201cOut every night, back in the early hours, then doing a full days work.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grinned. \u201cJust call it youthful exuberance Hoss,\u201d he chuckled loudly. \u201cSomething you are sadly missing big brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head and inwardly smiled at the banter between his three sons.<\/p>\n

Taking a final gulp of coffee from his cup Adam then rose, followed by Hoss. \u201cWe\u2019ll be up on the north meadow Joe, when you have a moment to join us that is,\u201d he said with a hint of sarcasm as he turned and made his way to the front door.<\/p>\n

Hoss chuckled. \u201cThat\u2019s right Joe. Don\u2019t you hurry now. Wouldn\u2019t want you to wear out that youthful exuberance before the day is out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Both brothers walked out of the room, chortling as they closed the door, unaware of the tongue that poked out at them as they left.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph! That\u2019s enough of that at the table,\u201d rebuked Ben, glaring at his son over his coffee cup.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes Sir. Sorry Pa,\u201d replied Joe though he still could not suppress a huge grin on his face as he dug into his breakfast.<\/p>\n

As he continued to eat, silence ensued, but it was a comfortable silence. Ben drank his coffee, watching his son out of the corner of his eye. It was good to see his youngest so happy and he was well aware of the reason for his good mood and relaxed air.<\/p>\n

Katie Phillips, 21 years old, a pretty and petite young woman, had arrived in Virginia City just over two months before on her way to San Francisco. A spirited young woman, a romantic, she had always yearned for adventure, the chance to see different horizons and hopefully meet her prince charming. She had been living in southern Arizona with her aged parents until they had both died of the fever within weeks of each other. Leaving their only child with a small amount of money, Katie decided to fulfil her wish and take a change of direction and discover a new life on the west coast.<\/p>\n

While in Virginia City for two days awaiting the stage connection to her destination, she had literally bumped into Joe on the main street and been sent flying onto the dusty road. Joe had apologised profusely as he helped her up, immediately smitten by the smiling face, golden hair and deep blue eyes that had looked into his.<\/p>\n

Gallant as ever, he invited her to the local barn dance taking place that evening. She had accepted his invitation, enjoying a wonderful night with her handsome companion. As they stood outside her hotel at the end of the evening, both realised there was a special attraction drawing them together. Offering to show her the next day the beautiful countryside located on the Ponderosa, Katie had accepted the invitation without question or hesitation, and as Joe kissed her goodnight on the cheek then vaulted onto Cochise waving goodbye, she straightaway knew she had found her prince.<\/p>\n

The following day, throwing caution to the wind, Katie cancelled her stage ticket. Taking directions from the local hotel, she took a room at the local boarding house for single ladies, then found employment with the aged local seamstress Miss Tanner who was happy to employ the pleasant dexterous young lady with nimble fingers.<\/p>\n

From that day on there had hardly been a night when Joe did not return to the Ponderosa after everyone else had retired. However, his evenings were not taken up drinking or gambling to excess in the saloons of Virginia City. Joe was spending his time supping tea at Widow Hawkins Boarding House, the widow tactfully sitting by the kitchen fire, leaving Joe to visit Katie in the front parlor talking, holding hands, and sharing warm tender kisses.<\/p>\n

Katie also visited the Ponderosa, instantly endearing herself to Ben, Adam and Hoss and she in turn grew to hold a deep affection for the Cartwright family. To everyone who saw them together it was obvious Joe and Katie were falling in love.<\/p>\n

His breakfast was now finished and with something serious on his mind Joe looked over at his father. Ben had finished his coffee and was now studying a report which dealt with the viability of a new mine that was soon to be opened. He was engrossed in the facts and figures laid out in the letter and Joe began to squirm a little in his seat, growing more nervous by the minute as he tried to gain his father’s attention.<\/p>\n

Oblivious at first to his son\u2019s discomfort, Ben continued to study the article until he felt a slight tap on his arm. He looked up and noticed straightaway the nervous looking face that stared at him. \u201cJoe? Something wrong son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe half smiled and shook his head. \u201cErm, no Pa, well yes Pa, I mean well, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, if you have something to say, please say it. You’re making me dizzy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes Sir.\u201d Joe bit his lip nervously and turned his chair so he was facing his father. \u201cPa can I ask you something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Ben answered, folding the report and placing it down on the table, sensing the serious tone of his son\u2019s voice. \u201cWhat do you want to know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember when I turned 18?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I do Joe,\u201d answered Ben, a shadow of a smile appearing on his face at the memory.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you remember what you said about my mother, and what you had in safe keeping for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Puzzled Ben looked blankly for a moment. “You mean her ring Joe? Her engagement ring?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cYes. Her ring Pa. You said you would keep it safe till the day came when I needed it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled again as he remembered back four years to his son\u2019s 18th birthday party. Marie would have been so proud of Joe that day in his blue suit, handsome, self-assured, a mischievous glint never too far away in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Joe coughed nervously and Ben was shaken from his reverie as he looked at his son. Realisation suddenly hit him. \u201cKatie? Do you mean you and Katie?\u201d he asked, his eyes widening with surprise.<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard as he stared into his father\u2019s eyes. \u201cYes Pa. I want to ask her to marry me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben took hold of Joe\u2019s hands, and stared into his sparkling eyes. \u201cYou sure son, really sure?\u201d he asked, his voice rising with delight.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes Pa. I love her so much I sometimes think I\u2019ll burst!” Then his voice slightly trembled. “You do approve don\u2019t you Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben beamed. \u201cJoe, I couldn\u2019t be more happy. Katie is a wonderful girl, and I couldn\u2019t be more delighted for you. I\u2019m just surprised it took you so long!\u201d<\/p>\n

With a laugh father and son rose and hugged with joy then pulling apart Ben indicated for Joe to follow him. They walked over to the safe in the far corner of the room and Ben opened it, retrieving a small box from the back.<\/p>\n

He removed the lid and stared at the beautiful ring he had placed on his wife\u2019s finger over 24 years before for a few moments then with a smile he handed the box over to Joe. \u201cYour mother would have been very proud of you Joseph,\u201d he said as he gazed at the handsome young man who reminded him so much of his darling Marie.<\/p>\n

Joe returned the smile and nodded as he took out the ring and held it in his hands. The diamonds and sapphires glinted in the morning sunlight that shone through the window behind them. \u201cKatie is the one Pa. I just know Ma would of loved her too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure it is going to fit her Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes Pa. I just know its going to be perfect. Katie was meant to have it.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a moment both men sniffed back the tears of sentimental joy that threatened to flow between them then Joe replaced the ring into its box and carefully placed it in his top pocket. \u201cI know its not Sunday Pa, but could I go see Katie? I don\u2019t want to wait another day before asking her. I\u2019ll make it up to Adam and Hoss, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Placing his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder Ben nodded. \u201cOf course Joe. Don\u2019t you go worrying about your brothers. I\u2019m sure they will forgive you under the circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Pa. For everything,\u201d Joe replied, then hastily rushed to the door, grabbing his coat and hat. There was now no time to lose. Joseph Cartwright was ecstatically happy, in love and in a hurry!<\/p>\n

\u201cWish me luck!\u201d he yelled as he raced out of the door, slamming it behind him.<\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath as he stood silently and motionless for a few moments; a glow of happiness enveloping him. He looked down at one of the three silver picture frames on his desk and the smiling face of Joe\u2019s mother stared back at him. \u201cOur boy may soon be a married man my darling; a very happy married man,\u201d he whispered as he brushed away a tear.<\/p>\n

Then returning to the dining table Ben sat back down, a beaming smile that he could not remove covering his face. Joe was not the only happy Cartwright that morning!<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Katie breathed in the fresh springtime air as she stood be the lake, the water gently rippling by her feet. While Joe had been securing the horses she had stood gazing over the landscape. How she loved this ranch, the majestic mountains rising on the horizon, the green meadows stretching for miles and miles, the feel of the warm spring wind as it blew through her hair. Such a difference from the desert lands she had grown up in.<\/p>\n

Usually it was a Sunday treat, a ride around the Ponderosa, followed by lunch with Joe\u2019s family. So, she had been more than pleasantly surprised when Joe had turned up that morning and asked her to accompany him. Although she should have been working, Miss Tanner has graciously given her a few hours off and the young couple slowly made their way through the beautiful land of the Ponderosa till they eventually stopped by the large expanse of water in a secluded knoll by the lake side.<\/p>\n

During the drive Katie had noticed an unfamiliar lack of conversation from Joe. He had seemed tense and preoccupied, giving her nervous smiles and she sensed there was something serious on his mind. Though she loved him with all her heart, thought he felt the same about her, a feeling of apprehension and insecurity began to wash over her.<\/p>\n

Had she been too eager to lose her heart to her prince charming? Was he about to tell her it was over between them?<\/p>\n

She fought back the tears that threatened to flow, and as Joe coughed, seeking to attract her attention, Katie steeled herself for what was coming. She turned to face him, her eyes suddenly widening with surprise. Her prince charming was in front of her on one knee, his hat lying on the ground, and he was gazing up into her face with a loving smile.<\/p>\n

Gently Joe took her left hand in his. \u201cKatie, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?\u201d he asked in a nervous voice, his heart beating so loud he could swear it could be heard in Virginia City.<\/p>\n

Katie stood, opened mouthed, in absolute astonishment. A warm glow seemed to wrap around her body as she looked down at the beautiful ring that Joe held in his hand. Her eyes began to moisten as she stared at him, hardly able to contain her joy.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Joe! Yes! Yes, of course I’ll marry you,\u201d she cried as Joe gently slipped the ring onto her finger. It fitted perfectly.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, it\u2019s so beautiful. How did you know it would fit my finger?\u201d Katie asked excitedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I just knew,\u201d Joe answered as he rose and gently cupped her face in his hands. \u201cI love you Katie, with all my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

Katie stared into Joe\u2019s deep green eyes that shone with love. \u201cAnd I love you, my darling Joe,\u201d she answered.<\/p>\n

They kissed, gently at first, a soft sweet kiss that seemed to go on forever. Then slowly Joe began to tremble, his passion and longing beginning to consume his every thought. His kiss became harder, his body pressing tighter on Katie. Katie too could sense the longing in Joe and she moaned softly, as her naivety clashed with the passion that overwhelmed her.<\/p>\n

Suddenly Joe pulled away, slightly embarrassed at the feelings building up inside him.<\/p>\n

In his late teens he had been introduced to the delights of the fairer sex, but he knew Katie had led a sheltered life. She was still inexperienced in such matters and he realised the need to calm down and control himself. Marriage was the proper time for such thoughts and actions.<\/p>\n

\u201cPhew! Think I should get myself a cold drink,\u201d he joked, trying to ease the tension as he stepped back, breathless, looking into Katie\u2019s flushed face.<\/p>\n

Feeling her heart would burst, Katie took Joe\u2019s hand and pulled him towards her. She could sense his reluctance, knew the inner decent man was thinking of her innocence in such matters and her reputation. However, Katie now felt something had changed between them, and the girl disappeared as the woman pledged herself to Joe, heart, body and soul.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I want you to love me, now,\u201d she said as she ran her fingers through his hair and then put her arms around his neck.<\/p>\n

Joe felt her passion, her longing, but drew away. \u201cOh Katie. I can\u2019t do it. I respect you too much,\u201d he cried as he fought against the desire to kiss her again.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, at this moment I don\u2019t want your respect,\u201d Katie said softly yet in a determined voice. \u201cI want your love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe fixed his stare on her, captivated by the sincerity that shone from her blue eyes. “Are you really sure?\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

Katie moved forward and moulded herself into Joe\u2019s body. They stood enveloped in each others arms, the desire growing with each second. \u201cOh yes Joe. I’m very sure,\u201d Katie answered as she pulled his head down and their lips met.<\/p>\n

And in the warm late April sunshine, the two lovers slowly sank onto the grassy floor, oblivious to all sights and sounds, only aware of each other and the love that they shared.<\/p>\n

SUMMER
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe Cartwright slowly turned down the main street of Virginia City. He was a man in love and he couldn\u2019t hold back the smile that seemed to permanently cover his face. It had been three months since he had proposed to Katie, and now, with only one week to go before their wedding day, he was blissfully happy and content. Yesterday he had thought his life could not get much better, but after seeing his beloved Katie, hearing her news, he now knew different. His chest felt like it would burst with the love that consumed him.<\/p>\n

He steered Cochise in front of the mercantile, dismounting and looking around him, his eyes automatically focused on the small seamstress shop on the opposite side of the street. He knew his wife-to-be would be sat there, just as excited as he, wishing away each hour until their special day arrived.<\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath then began to complete the chores carefully listed by his father; supplies to be ordered, letters to post, mail to be collected, bills to be paid. Two hours later all was done. Joe looked over at the Silver Dollar, wetting his lips; a cool beer sure would go down well, he mused as he stepped off the sidewalk. Then he heard a familiar voice call to him softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Smiling Joe turned and looked back. Katie stood yards away, her fair hair shining in the summer sunlight, looking radiant and happy. The saloon and beer instantly forgotten, Joe walked over, taking her hands in his and gently kissing her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw you earlier on and guessed you were here on business. Have you finished now?\u201d Katie asked, as she lovingly looked up into her fianc\u00e9e\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, all done,\u201d answered Joe. \u201cI can\u2019t stay in town long though. Pa is waiting for the mail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know Joe, just wanted to tell my prince charming how much I love him,\u201d she said, as the two of them stood together, staring into each others eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, and I love you, my sweet princess,\u201d answered Joe, a feeling of excruciating longing flooding through his body. He lovingly caressed her cheek, savouring every touch, every word that passed between them.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, let me walk you back,\u201d he finally said, taking hold of her hand and brushing it against his lips. Smiling happily at each other they strolled slowly arm in arm, making their way down the street when all of a sudden the muffled sounds of gunfire and yelling could be heard in the distance. Soon rising to a crescendo, the thundering sound of horses hooves grew nearer, and Joe and Katie looked around, unsure and uncertain what was happening.<\/p>\n

Down the main street appeared three horsemen. Having just robbed the local bank they were all firing indiscriminately at anyone in an attempt to clear the way for their escape.<\/p>\n

Joe pulled Katie behind him and pushed her onto the sidewalk as he instinctively went to draw his gun. The first horseman, a young blonde man with a scar on his cheek, was practically on top of Joe, his hand stretched out ready to shoot. For a brief millisecond both men looked at each other, the gunman\u2019s face forever etched in Joe\u2019s memory.<\/p>\n

However, before Joe could even raise his weapon, the gunman had fired and a bullet hit Joe in the thigh. As he yelled out in agony, the impact sent him sprawling into the dusty street, his hat flying from his head. Another bullet ricocheted and grazed him on the temple, the blood rushing out and rendering him unconscious immediately.<\/p>\n

As Katie screamed at the sight of Joe lying wounded and bloody she ran out to him without thought for her own safety. The third gunman galloped by, still shooting at the dispersing townsfolk who were running for shelter in any available doorway or alley. Seeing a flash of colour seemingly in his path, the armed man fired without thinking, his bullet hitting Katie. And as he galloped on without a backward glance, Katie, already kneeling at Joe\u2019s side, moaned slightly then collapsed; her body next to Joe and her arm falling onto his chest as a deep red stain appeared on her back.<\/p>\n

The three gunmen continued to shoot their way out of Virginia City, escaping and heading for the foothills. The posse that was quickly formed chased after them, but to no avail as they seemed to vanish into thin air. It had taken all of five minutes to turn a pleasant summer\u2019s day into a bloodbath that Virginia City would remember for years to come.<\/p>\n

A crowd soon raced to help the injured and remove the dead, Doc Martin being one of the first to arrive. Those who viewed the young couple would forever remember the poignancy of the scene; a sight that caused even the hardest of men to wipe away a tear. \u00a0Joe Cartwright unconscious and seriously injured lying on the dusty ground while his fianc\u00e9e lay, her arm around his chest; the couple as though asleep together as a diamond ring on Katie’s finger sparkled in the July sunshine.<\/p>\n

Three innocent people died that day and five were injured, including Joe. News travelled fast to the Ponderosa, and soon Ben, Adam and Hoss were at Doc Martin\u2019s surgery waiting for news of Joe as he lay fighting for his life. The bullet had shattered bone and sinew in Joe\u2019s thigh, and the head wound was deep and caused much concern as it bled profusely.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin spent the following 24 hours without sleep while he treated Joe and the other four wounded townsfolk. He used every inch of his skill to remove the bullet in Joe\u2019s leg and repair the damage it had caused, knowing all the while there was a chance Joe would never walk properly again. The head wound was deep and left Joe in a coma-like state for days. In a way it was a blessing for it gave his leg time to heal as he lay unmoving. Once again the doctor was able to skilfully stitch the gaping head wound, leaving only a small scar, barely visible in the thick wavy hairline of his young patient.<\/p>\n

For nearly two weeks Joe lay weak as he slipped in and out of consciousness, blissfully unaware of the tragedy he had survived. And as his life hung in the balance, Ben, Adam and Hoss took turns to sit by his bedside, praying and willing him to awaken.<\/p>\n

Eventually their prayers were answered.<\/p>\n

It was late evening when Joe finally opened his eyes. In the glow of a single lamp he could see he was not in his own bedroom and feeling slightly disorientated slowly studied his surroundings. He felt uncomfortable, stiff and chilled even though a blanket was pulled up to his neck.<\/p>\n

After a few minutes, as his mind cleared, he realised he was in the back room of Doc Martin\u2019s office. In the corner he could see his father slumped in a chair and dozing. It was a comforting thought that whenever he was sick or injured his father would be there at his side, keeping guard, waiting for him to recover. He coughed slightly, the sound stirring Ben who opened his eyes and saw his son looking at him with a slight smile on his face. Rushing over he looked tenderly into his son\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! Good to have you back with us son,\u201d Ben said quietly, relief washing over him. “How do you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThirsty Pa, very thirsty,\u201d Joe answered, his voice barely above a whisper as he shivered slightly. There was a vile taste in his mouth and his throat felt sore and dry.<\/p>\n

Ben leaned over and picked up a glass of water. He gently lifted Joe\u2019s head and supported him while Joe sipped the cool liquid.<\/p>\n

The glass was soon emptied, and Joe let his head fall back on the pillow, grimacing as he did so.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou in pain Joe?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cHead aches and my leg feels like hell.\u201d He squirmed slightly on the unfamiliar mattress.\u00a0 “What happened Pa?\u201d he croaked. \u201cI don\u2019t seem to remember anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben pulled up a chair and sat by the bed, holding onto Joe\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cThere was a robbery Joe, and you were shot. You\u2019ve been lying here for two weeks, very ill. We really thought we were going to lose you for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe tentatively felt the bandage on his head as he looked at Ben questioningly.<\/p>\n

\u201cBullet grazed your head son. Another half an inch and it would of killed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe silently nodded. He carefully pulled over his blanket and looked down at his leg covered in a splint from ankle to hip. Ben could see Joe studying it.<\/p>\n

\u201cGot a bullet in the thigh too Joe. Made a mess but Doc says there\u2019s a good chance it has knit together. You\u2019ll be walking in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again Joe nodded, feeling confused and weak as Ben re-covered his leg and tucked the blanket under the mattress. As his head began to feel fuzzy he closed his eyes, swallowing hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you remember anything?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe rubbed his forehead as he shook his head from side to side. \u201cI don\u2019t think so Pa,\u201d he said quietly as he opened his eyes, frowning as he willed himself to remember something, anything!<\/p>\n

Then his face changed.<\/p>\n

There was a half remembered memory, still a blur that appeared, images flashing in his head. Horses galloping! Bullets flying! A scarred face! Excruciating pain! A scream! His eyes widened as he realised what his father had said. Two weeks! He should be married now!<\/p>\n

\u201cKatie! Where\u2019s Katie?\u201d he whispered. \u201cI\u2019ve let her down, missed our wedding!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s voice faltered slightly as he fixed his eyes on Joe. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry son. She was shot as well. She didn\u2019t make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe gazed at Ben in bewilderment, unwilling to believe the news then slowly his eyes opened wide with shock and horror. \u201cDead! \u00a0She\u2019s dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded as he squeezed Joe\u2019s hand tighter. “It was instant. She didn\u2019t feel any pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

The ache in his leg and head was nothing compared to the sudden feeling of utter desolation that swept over Joe\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s been laid to rest son. Made sure everything was the best for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s buried?\u201d asked Joe in confusion. \u201cAlready?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had to Joe. For a time we didn\u2019t even think you would pull through. I\u2019m so sorry son, so very sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared ahead blankly, grief and sorrow etched on every inch of his pale face. “Dead!\u201d he whispered, again and again as he began to shake, his body reacting to the shocking news.<\/p>\n

\u201cKatie, Katie.\u201d Joe’s voice was silent but his lips moved as he repeated her name over and over.<\/p>\n

Ben continued to sit by the bedside, his head bent over, unwilling to watch his son\u2019s suffering. Then he heard Joe take a deep breath as his whole body suddenly seemed to stiffen.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you mind leaving me for a while Pa? I\u2019d like to be alone,\u201d asked Joe, almost pleading as he closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

Ben looked up at him, his pale face blending into the white bandage around his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery well son. I\u2019ll be outside if you need anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe heard the closing of the door and turned his head. His whole body felt numb yet his pain was unbearable. He clenched his fists and banged them onto the mattress as tears welled up inside him. She was gone! He had lived and Katie had died, leaving Joe feeling a guilt that tore him apart. His dream of happy ever after was shattered and as tears rolled down Joe\u2019s cheeks and sobs racked his body he buried his face in the pillow and cried his heart out.<\/p>\n

Ben went out into the connecting office where Adam and Hoss were sitting in silence, each staring at the blank wall and thinking of their youngest sibling. They both looked up as Ben closed the door behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe is conscious at last, thank God,\u201d said Ben trembling as he sat down opposite them.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we see him Pa?\u201d asked Hoss anxiously as he looked towards the closed door, eager to see his brother.<\/p>\n

Shaking his head Ben sighed wearily as he felt his eyes moisten. \u201cI\u2019ve had to tell him about Katie. He wants a few minutes on his own.\u201d<\/p>\n

Together they sat in silence, the father feeling as though his own heart was breaking into a thousand pieces; two brothers knowing they were powerless to ease their brother\u2019s suffering; the three men acutely aware of the muffled sobs that could be heard through the door.<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 2:<\/p>\n

AUTUMN\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, Adam and Hoss were silent as they each supped hot coffee; their evening meal finished, and watched Joe begin the slow and painful walk away from the dining table and up the stairs of the Ponderosa ranch house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had become a familiar pattern in the Cartwright household over the past two months since Joe had been fit enough to leave Doc Martin\u2019s back room and return to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dinner would have been a muted affair as usual, and once completed, his meal hardly touched; Joe would excuse himself in a quiet voice, then shuffle upstairs, dragging his left leg painfully behind him.\u00a0 His once strong and sturdy shoulders would be stooped, and his head hung low onto his chest. Always pale, his eyes dull and sad, his face bore a haunted look, making him look much older than the 23 years he was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slow footsteps, one on the step followed by the dragging of the other to follow it, continued for a minute until the sound of his bedroom door closing would echo around the large airy room. As he disappeared early each evening, the uncomfortable silence that had hung around the dinner table slowly faded and there would be a noticeable sigh of relief from the three occupants left downstairs.\u00a0 It was a routine that was slowly beginning to tell on the physical and mental state of all the family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tearing his eyes away from the stairs Ben sighed deeply.\u00a0 He remembered, not so many months ago, how Joe would have run up the stairs, two at a time, laughing as he was chased by Adam or Hoss.\u00a0 What he wouldn\u2019t give to see that again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Joe had been well enough to return to the Ponderosa and walk unaided, the family had been constantly on edge, wondering if he would leave the ranch and seek vengeance on the gang responsible.\u00a0 There had been a constant tense atmosphere, no one sure if Joe\u2019s volatile temper would erupt at any moment.\u00a0 But no! \u00a0Although the events of that terrible July day had slowly come back to him in vivid images, when told the men had disappeared from the area without trace, he had just slipped into his state of self inflicted depression and never mentioned them again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Last week had been Joe\u2019s birthday.\u00a0 In the past it had been celebrated with gusto, but this time, at his insistence, there had been nothing arranged.\u00a0 Grudgingly mumbling a thank you as Ben and his brothers wished him happy birthday, he just shrugged his shoulders then slowly dragged himself to the barn to groom his horse.\u00a0 It was as far as he would trust himself to go, reluctant and unwilling to venture into town as the memories were still too fresh and painful.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He could see how his behavior was affecting his family and inwardly knew why he could not shift his mantle of melancholy.\u00a0\u00a0 It needed to be discussed with his father but for some reason the words were hidden and locked away inside him unable to escape.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over the past weeks Ben had wanted to talk to Joe about his loss but had been hesitant to intrude on Joe\u2019s grief until his son was ready.\u00a0 They never had difficulty in the past talking to each other, Joe always the first to open up with his problems.\u00a0 However, this time it was different. Joe had resisted all attempts at conversation, just walking away or sitting without comment, his eyes dull and lacking interest in all around him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unable to comfort or help, Ben felt as though he had failed his son when he was needed the most.\u00a0 The strain was telling on everyone, making tempers short and frayed.\u00a0 The happiness and laughter that had radiated from the Ponderosa for so many years had disappeared leaving a sad and empty void.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow long is this gonna go on for Pa?\u201d said Hoss shaking his head. \u201cI know he\u2019s got a right to mourn, but there just don\u2019t seem to be any desire in him to face the future, get on with life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t reply as he stared into his coffee cup, not knowing what to say.\u00a0 It was the same question every night.\u00a0 There just didn\u2019t seem to be an answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf only he would show some emotion, start yelling, just acting like my little brother again. I could live with that, but not this silence.\u00a0 It just aint natural Pa!\u201d\u00a0 cried Hoss, sighing heavily, his big hands shaking, spilling hot coffee onto the table top.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he continued to drink, Adam looked over the rim of his cup at Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI saw Doc Martin today in town. Appears he called here last week while we were with the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe never said!\u00a0 And?\u201d asked Hoss, a perplexed frown appearing on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking another sip, Adam put down his cup,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me something about Joe.\u201d he said gravely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss stared over at Adam, whose voice hardened as he continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe checked Joe over and couldn\u2019t find a thing wrong with Joe\u2019s leg.\u00a0 He should be walking as good as new.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice suddenly softened.\u00a0 \u201cBut he isn\u2019t, is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure Adam?\u00a0 Was the Doc that sure?\u201d asked Ben, his face etched with worry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 Silence ensued as the three men thought back to minutes ago, the vision of Joe, limping and dragging his leg behind him still vivid in their minds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why Adam? Why ain\u2019t he walking right? Surely he\u2019d want to be up and running as soon as possible?\u201d asked Hoss in astonishment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat back in his chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe way I see it Hoss, I reckon he feels guilty that he somehow survived and she didn\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe\u2019s body is fully recovered but his mind won\u2019t allow him to admit his leg is better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He sighed and folded his hands across his chest, shaking his head slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI also know my little brother and I\u2019m sure there\u2019s something else.\u00a0 Something else that\u2019s tearing him apart that we don\u2019t know about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked over at his father, his stare locked on his face. \u201cI can tell you this.\u201d he said, his voice filled with a deep sadness, \u201cIf something doesn\u2019t change soon we are going to lose him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared back, unable to immediately grasp the implications of Adam\u2019s statement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean Adam?\u00a0 Lose him?\u201d he didn\u2019t hide the alarm in his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on Pa!\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to have noticed.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice suddenly rose in volume.\u00a0 \u201cJoe is just spiraling down into this state of depression and there isn\u2019t a single thing we can do about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face paled.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath Adam sat forward and stared into his father\u2019s worried eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u00a0 I know we\u2019ve all been skirting around this, walking around on eggshells.\u00a0 But its got to be said.\u00a0 Joe is getting to that state of mind \u2026.. well, I can see him taking his gun and ending up in the barn with a bullet in his head!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There it was said!\u00a0 The unmentionable, the unthinkable, but the probable!\u00a0 Joe Cartwright was on the rocky slide to suicide, and his family, though unwilling to admit it to themselves, knew it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben covered his eyes with his hands and felt his eyes watering.\u00a0 Not his Joseph!\u00a0 He could hardly believe it, but deep down he knew it could well be true.\u00a0 Hoss put his hand on his father\u2019s shoulder and squeezed it gently, while he looked over at Adam.\u00a0 He shook his head, not knowing how else to help his father in his darkest hours.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSurely it ain\u2019t that bad Adam.?\u201d Hoss glanced at his father and then back to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo way would Joe do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stood up and walked slowly over to the large fire, standing with his hand on the hearth, staring into the flickering flames. An expression of worry flashed over his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think not Hoss?\u201d he answered sadly.\u00a0 \u201cJoe never speaks unless spoken to, never leaves his room unless we force him. Hardly eats.\u00a0 Shows no interest in anything and lies and stares up at the ceiling day after day.\u00a0 He just has the look of someone who hasn\u2019t anything to live for.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam banged his fist into the palm of his hand in exasperation, his voice growing in volume and intensity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDamn it Hoss!\u00a0 He shows absolutely no interest in going after the gang who murdered Katie!\u00a0 Is that our Joe?\u00a0 Of course it isn\u2019t!\u00a0 What else does he have to do to convince you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath, noting how his father and Hoss stared at him uneasily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, maybe I\u2019m wrong.\u00a0 Could be I\u2019m reading too much into the way he is.\u00a0\u00a0 But have you looked into his eyes lately?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss shook their heads.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stood for a moment in silence before replying in a soft and resigned voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing!\u00a0 No life, no sparkle, nothing!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou really think it\u2019s that bad Adam?\u201d\u00a0 Ben cried, formerly unwilling to acknowledge the truth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam rushed over to his father, pulling up his chair then taking hold of Ben\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry to be so blunt, but it had to be said.\u00a0 For everyone\u2019s sake!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben chewed on his lip as he thought through Adam\u2019s words and he sank lower into his chair.\u00a0 He sighed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you are right Adam.\u00a0 I was willing to give him time to mourn, for his heart to start to heal.\u00a0 I just kept hoping Joe would find his own way back to us, but it would seem I was just fooling myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat can we do Pa?\u201d Hoss asked finally, as his eyes met those of his father.\u00a0 \u201cWe have got to do something before it\u2019s too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know son, I know.\u00a0 But right at this minute I have no answer.\u00a0 I wish to God I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood up slowly, pushing back his chair and walked over to the hearth.\u00a0 He stared into the fire for a moment while his two sons watched him in silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHas either of you two tried to talk to Joe lately?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve tried Pa, and he nods and sits quiet but I don\u2019t even think he actually hears a word we say.\u201d answered Adam, while Hoss nodded in agreement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere is something I have noticed though, something strange.\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned and looked at Adam, waiting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever once, while we\u2019ve been around him, talking, has he cried a tear.\u00a0 Not once!\u201d Adam looked over a Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou must have noticed Hoss?\u00a0 If there\u2019s one thing about our little brother you could bet on, it\u2019s his emotions getting the better of him.\u00a0 But this time, nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded, \u201cYeh, not since that day you told him the news Pa.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t seen a tear in his eye.\u00a0 It just ain\u2019t natural.\u00a0 Just ain\u2019t\u2026\u2026.Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s the shock of it all, but I\u2019m sure that\u2019s only part of the problem.\u201d stated Adam, \u201cThere seems to be a wall built up between him and his emotions, and somehow he just can\u2019t get through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s something else Pa.\u201d continued Adam, as he took a deep breath, feeling slightly guilty at what he was about to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Something in Adam\u2019s tone made Ben feel uneasy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Adam?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI used to see him stare at you Pa, and I could swear there was a look of anger on his face.\u00a0 Only momentarily, then it would be gone.\u00a0 But it happened more than once, and I just don\u2019t know what to make of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head, and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnger?\u00a0 Why anger, and why me?\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 You sure Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The eldest Cartwright nodded, aware his father had flinched as though he had been physically hit.\u00a0 The thought that Joe held anger against him tore through Ben\u2019s heart.\u00a0 He was perplexed and confused.\u00a0 What on earth had happened to cause such a feeling in Joe?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss continued to took at their father and noticed his nervousness as he ran his fingers through his hair.\u00a0 Both shook their heads and inwardly smiled.\u00a0 Joe always did the very same thing.\u00a0 How alike father and youngest were in so many small ways they both mused.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben thought hard.\u00a0 He would be the first to admit he was scared.\u00a0 Scared for his son, scared for them all.\u00a0 If what Adam said was true there was something going on in Joe\u2019s head, and if nothing was done about it soon, it might be too late.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s time I had another talk with Joe and this time we need to sort out everything, whether he wants to or not.\u00a0 I\u2019ve put it off long enough.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss stood, ready to accompany him.\u00a0 Ben gently smiled and waved his hand down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo boys, this is something I have to do alone.\u201d he said, though his voice showed his thanks for their concern.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss watched their father disappear up the stairs, listening to his footsteps as he walked along the landing stopping in front of Joe\u2019s bedroom door.\u00a0\u00a0 With a feeling of trepidation, Ben knocked on the door and waited.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nothing.\u00a0 No response.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He gently knocked again, feeling his stomach churn with anticipation.\u00a0 From inside came a quiet voice which sounded detached, just responding automatically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben opened the door and stepped into the bedroom, the bright moon that shone through the window the only illumination.\u00a0 Closing the door he walked over to Joe who lay fully clothed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMay I have a word Joe?\u201d asked Ben, as he sat down, nervously smoothing the rumpled quilt that covered Joe\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly conscious of someone intruding into his privacy, Joe sat up and stared at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh! Sure Pa.\u00a0 I was just thinking.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t realize anyone had come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took his son\u2019s hand and gently stroked his fingers.\u00a0 He felt Joe tense slightly as though unwilling to accept his father\u2019s touch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling Joe?\u00a0 Does the leg still hurt?\u201d he asked, trying to see the reaction to his question in the gloom of the darkened room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it still hurts.\u201d answered Joe quietly, though inside he felt an angry panic building.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His Pa didn\u2019t think there was anything wrong with his leg anymore! \u00a0He could sense it in his father\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Last week Doc Martin had told him his leg was fully healed, there was no scarring, the tissue had repaired itself, and it was whole again.\u00a0 But the words just bounced off Joe.\u00a0 Whatever the Doc said, he couldn\u2019t and wouldn\u2019t believe him.\u00a0 His leg still hurt, still ached, was not getting better, and nothing the Doc said would convince Joe any different!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was not whole again, and never would be!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u201d said Ben, as he stared into his son\u2019s pale and gaunt looking face, trying to detect the anger Adam had spoken of.\u00a0 \u201cWe need to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa, if that\u2019s what you want.\u201d said Joe quietly in a resigned voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and swallowed hard.\u00a0 Never had he found it so difficult to talk to his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think we need to talk about you, Katie and what you are feeling.\u00a0 Your brothers have tried, but failed to get you to open up, and I haven\u2019t pushed you to tell me.\u00a0 But I reckon there\u2019s something you need to get off your chest, once and for all. Something you have been keeping to yourself.\u00a0 Am I right?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe suddenly tensed, and he began to shake his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0 I just can\u2019t! Don\u2019t make me!\u201d he choked, and he turned and lay with his back to Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gently, Ben pulled Joe back to face him.\u00a0 He could see him staring, white eyed, afraid.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, please!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you realize that\u2019s what\u2019s keeping you from recovering?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued to stare and Ben could see panic on his face as globules of sweat began to form, running down his forehead and onto his cheeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you do want to get better, don\u2019t you?\u201d he asked, watching the young man whose handsome face was molded into a mask of pain and misery.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father, and even in the gloom of the moonlight that shone through the window, could see love, concern and worry, all etched on his weathered face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded, though only slightly, and in the gloom Ben nearly missed the movement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know you have to talk, don\u2019t you Joe?\u00a0 Tell me what\u2019s eating away at you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe closed his eyes tightly, biting on his lip.\u00a0 He could feel his chest constricting, and he could hardly get his breath as he nodded again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re angry aren\u2019t you Joe?\u00a0 Angry at me!\u00a0 I need to know why Joe?\u201d Ben cried, \u201cWhat have I done?\u00a0 You know I would never do anything to hurt you!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hung his head, and then slowly lifted his face, opening his dull green eyes to view Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry!\u00a0 Yes, I was angry at you for a time.\u201d he said quietly, shaking his head slowly. \u201cBut I was being unfair Pa.\u00a0 I realize that now. You didn\u2019t deserve it.\u00a0\u00a0 Its just\u2026..\u201d his voice trailed into silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A tear rolled down Joe\u2019s cheek, and he brushed it away with his free hand.\u00a0 A chink of light in the wall of silence and emotion that had been bricked up inside him suddenly appeared.\u00a0 His throat was dry but he felt more relaxed that he had done for months as he savored the reassuring touch of his father\u2019s hand on his own.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben squeezed his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you son.\u201d he said, \u201cYou know that don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled slightly and nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath, he forced out the words that had been sealed inside him for too long.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow was it for you Pa?\u00a0 When they died.\u00a0 Ma, Inger and Elizabeth.\u00a0 Was it like hell on earth?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and sighed deeply.\u00a0 \u201cYes Joe, it was.\u00a0 Even now, there is a part of me that grieves for them all, each day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen you know how I feel, don\u2019t you Pa?\u00a0 You\u2019ve been through it three times after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Joe, I know how you feel.\u00a0 But I got over it. \u00a0I had to, for your sake, and Adam and Hoss\u2019s sake.\u00a0 You all needed me, so I forced myself to live again.\u00a0 And it was worth it.\u201d he replied, his voice full of sincerity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe funerals Pa.\u00a0 It would have helped you wouldn\u2019t it? You would be able to say goodbye each time then walk away knowing you\u2019d done your best for them.\u201d Joe\u2019s voice began to falter slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded silently in the gloom, his mind instantly taken back to those three sad events, each so different in time, location and circumstance but so alike in pain and heartache.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swung his legs off the bed and limped over to the dresser under the window, staring out into the dark October night.\u00a0 The moonlight shone through onto a small box and for the first time since his return to the ranch, Joe forced himself to pick it up. \u00a0Swallowing hard, he opened it, knowing full well what lay inside.\u00a0 Glittering and sparkling in the moonlight was the ring he had given Katie. Tears formed stinging his eyes, as he took out the ring and gently lifted it to his lips.\u00a0 He fleetingly wondered if his father had done the very same thing when his mother had died.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gazed at Joe in silence, watching and waiting.\u00a0 Carefully replacing the ring in its box Joe returned to stare out of the window.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBy the time I was well enough, Katie was buried. I didn\u2019t have a chance to say goodbye the way I wanted.\u201d said Joe softly, without turning round.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh Joe!\u201d Ben gasped. \u201cI never thought!\u00a0 You were so ill, still unconscious and we were so worried about you.\u00a0 It just seemed the right thing to do at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was all wrong!\u201d said Joe, quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cKatie should have been buried on the Ponderosa, with Ma.\u00a0 Not alone in that cemetery in Virginia City! How could you Pa!\u201d he asked, his voice full of sadness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben flinched.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat can I say Joe? We just thought we were doing the best for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A muffled sob came from Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t just Katie Pa!\u201d he said, as though suddenly drained of all strength, and he returned to sit on the edge of the bed next to Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean son?\u201d asked Ben softly, as he felt his son\u2019s body shiver involuntarily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In a pained voice, barely audible, he turned his head and looked Ben in the eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe was pregnant Pa. \u00a0Katie was having my baby and I couldn\u2019t even say goodbye to my own child!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat, surprised and horrified.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An awkward silence ensued.\u00a0 Joe put his face in his hands and sat unmoving, unwilling to view the look of disapproval and disappointment he assumed was on Ben\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However, Joe couldn\u2019t be more wrong.\u00a0 Although surprised, Ben felt no disappointment with his son.\u00a0 Joe and Katie were a pair matched in heaven, and he felt no reason to doubt that their love would have been genuine, sincere and everlasting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the silence the sudden realization that Joe had also been grieving for an unborn son or daughter, and that he had lost a grandchild that day hit Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no Joe!\u201d Ben cried.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, son!\u00a0 I am so sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his secret now out and shared Joe felt a sudden rush of emotions that had been locked inside him for far too long.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Flinging himself into Ben\u2019s arms, he sobbed, his whole body heaving.\u00a0 Ben tightened his grip and held Joe close, his own eyes flowing with tears as he hung onto his youngest son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both had lost something precious that day, and they cried together in their grief.<\/p>\n

WINTER<\/p>\n

Ben closed the book he had been reading and glanced over at the clock by the door.\u00a0 It was nearly 9.30pm and he stifled a yawn.\u00a0 The room was quiet, too quiet for Ben\u2019s liking.\u00a0 Outside he could hear the winter wind blowing, screeching in a high pitched tone as it whistled around the chimney. He was alone, and though sometimes appreciative of solitude and peace, for once he yearned for companionship, wished his sons were with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However, days before Adam and Hoss had departed for San Francisco to negotiate a new timber contract.\u00a0 Adam had sent a wire to tell him all had gone well, the contract was signed and he and Hoss would stay on for a while to appreciate the sights and sounds of the fast growing city.\u00a0 Ben was happy with Adam\u2019s decision.\u00a0 The past few months had been a strain on all the family and Ben was all too glad to let his two oldest sons relax away from the ranch, and hopefully enjoy their time away. \u00a0However, he still missed them terribly, and looked forward to their return.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After taking a sip of brandy, Ben rested his head back, his thoughts returning to his youngest.\u00a0 Since that night, two months ago, when Joe had at last opened up and cried with Ben, there had been a slow improvement in his condition.\u00a0 His limp had become less pronounced, and eventually disappeared. \u00a0The gunmen who shot him were never mentioned and he began to show an interest in the ranch, taking on again chores and responsibilities, working hard each day from dawn to dusk.\u00a0 His familiar laugh was heard occasionally, and the friendly banter between all three brothers returned, causing Ben to inwardly sigh with relief.\u00a0 To all around him Joe seemed to be his old self, had picked up the pieces, and was eager to live life to the full again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However, Ben\u2019s relief was short lived.\u00a0 The day Adam and Hoss departed on the stage for San Francisco, Ben had waved them off and then turned to see his old friend, Sheriff Coffee walking towards him. \u00a0They had shaken hands and Roy invited Ben back to his office to have a drink and a chat.\u00a0 Welcoming the chance to talk with his old friend, Ben had nodded thankfully, and the two men returned to the jail, grateful to sit in the warm office out of the chilling wind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The pleasantries over, Roy had asked Ben how Joe was getting along.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh he is doing real well Roy.\u00a0 Working hard, up to some of his mischievous tricks.\u00a0 Yes, he seems to be getting on with his life \u2013 has put that awful tragedy behind him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy had been silent for a minute, a frown covering his face.\u00a0 Ben noticed it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it Roy?\u00a0 Something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy shook his head as he looked over at his old friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t mention it normally Ben, but I think you ought to know something.\u201d\u00a0 He coughed nervously as he pointed over to a large pile of wanted posters.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou see these Ben?\u00a0 Get a new batch every other day.\u00a0 Always seems to grow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked over and could see the crude drawings of wanted men staring up at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Roy.\u00a0 What about them?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for the past three weeks Joe has been in here two, three times a week.\u00a0 Each time he comes in and goes through these posters, staring at the pictures, reading all the descriptions.\u00a0 He\u2019s trying to find out who those three men were Ben, and I can see his face each time he finds nothing.\u00a0 It\u2019s a look of sheer anger and desperation.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat, silently taking in every word Roy had said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe truth is Ben; no-one knows who those gunmen were.\u00a0 We only had the barest of descriptions, nothing to really go on.\u00a0 My guess is they came up from another state, hit our bank, and then returned home, as quickly as possible.\u00a0 Nothing has been seen or heard of them again.\u00a0 It\u2019s like they just disappeared off the face of the earth.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, Joe may never find their faces on a wanted poster, is that what you\u2019re getting at Roy?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeh Ben, but that ain\u2019t gonna stop him looking.\u00a0 Trouble is the longer it takes the more frustrated Joe will become.\u00a0 It\u2018s just gonna dominate his life Ben, if something ain\u2019t done about it.\u00a0 When he leaves this office he\u2019s got a look on him Ben, a look that might well destroy him eventually.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The old clock struck 10.00pm and Ben shook himself from his daydreaming.\u00a0 What Roy \u00a0told him had been at the back of his mind constantly, leaving him worried and feeling permanently uneasy.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe had never mentioned the visits to Roy\u2019s office, appearing to have forgotten about the men who had shot him and killed Katie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Was Roy imagining it?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben needed to know what was going on in his son\u2019s mind and he decided tonight was the night to settle the matter.\u00a0 Taking another sip of brandy Ben turned his head as he heard the sound of footsteps on the outside verandah.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The front door opened sending a blast of cold January air into the large room.\u00a0 It quickly slammed shut, and the familiar figure of Joe appeared as he removed his thick winter coat and hung up his hat and gun belt on the pegs by the door. \u00a0Over the past few weeks he had forced himself to meet up with his friends in the evening, wasting away the hours at the local saloons in a vain attempt to return to normality.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shivering as he rubbed his hands together Joe turned to make his way to the fire.\u00a0 He felt weary after countless nights of fitful and broken sleep, yet tired as he was, his face had the haunted look of a man obsessed and possessed \u00a0with the thought of vengeance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly he noticed Ben was sitting by the fire and he quickly lifted his shoulders and smiled, instantly hiding his true feelings.\u00a0 Too late though!\u00a0 In that moment Ben had seen the true Joe as described by Roy, and Ben\u2019s stomach churned in despair.\u00a0 As Joe walked over, looking at his father in the flickering firelight, Ben\u2019s face suddenly seemed to look very old.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay Pa?\u00a0 You look very tired.\u201d he asked as he stood in front of the fire, warming himself. \u00a0\u201cThought you\u2019d have gone to bed by now.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t fall asleep did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo son.\u00a0 Just been thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe studied Ben\u2019s face, noted the pensive look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave a good evening Joe?\u201d said Ben thoughtfully, as he watched his son<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHad a few beers with the boys, hand of poker.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t get into one fight Pa!\u00a0 You\u2019d have been proud of me.\u201d he joked as he picked up a small log and carefully placed it on the glowing embers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure is cold out there, that wind nearly cuts you in two!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Ben said in a quiet voice. \u201cI\u2019d like a word with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked down at his father, instinctively wondering what he had done wrong this time.\u00a0 How old habits die hard he thought silently to himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa.\u201d he said frowning.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben motioned Joe to sit down by his side and father and son looked across at each other.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m proud of the way you are getting your life back together son.\u00a0 I know it hasn\u2019t been easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, closing his eyes for a second as he felt his stomach muscles tighten.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou are putting it all behind you, aren\u2019t you Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s questioning and piercing stare left Joe feeling uneasy.\u00a0 He turned his eyes away and stared at the fire slowly nodding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa. \u00a0Some days are harder than others but other times\u2026\u2026.. well, I cope better.\u00a0 Manage to get through without thinking about it all.\u00a0 Get on with life.\u00a0 You must know what I mean Pa?\u201d Joe asked, well aware of his father\u2019s past heartaches.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know Joe.\u201d said Ben as he put down the brandy glass by the side of the chair, his voice suddenly becoming stern.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe I think its time you stopped this pretence.\u00a0 I know exactly what is going through your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stiffened and sat back, clenching his fists, his mood instantly somber.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would that be then Pa?\u00a0 You a mind reader all of a sudden?\u201d he asked sarcastically, his voice sounding cold and hard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know all too well Joe. I\u2019ve been talking with Roy, and you haven\u2019t put it all behind you, have you? You want revenge!\u201d he stated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe jumped up, his volatile temper showing in an instant. \u00a0Too late now to hide his true feelings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if I do Pa?\u00a0 Ain\u2019t I got the right?\u201d he yelled, as he stood above his father, his eyes flashing with an anger Ben had never seen in his son before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood up, father and son facing each other inches apart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Joe!\u00a0 Much as it grieves me to say it, you haven\u2019t got the right.\u00a0 Its up to the law to bring those men to justice, not you on a personal vendetta!\u201d cried Ben<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued to stand, clenched fists at his side, as he stared into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t no kid Pa!\u00a0 Don\u2019t give me any of that Sunday school nonsense about leaving it to the Lord to make sure sinners will burn forever in the fires of hell! \u00a0I won\u2019t accept that.\u00a0 Not now!\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI should have been a father!\u201d a sob of pain left his throat as he shook with rage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI owe it to Katie and my child.\u00a0 I\u2019m going after those men, however long it takes and while I have breath in my body, and nothing you say or do is going to stop me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He started to turn away, tears in his eyes, as Ben caught him by the arm and swung him round.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease Joe, listen to me. Just sit down, let me talk to you.\u201d said Ben, keen to calm his son\u2019s outburst.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt his heart pounding fast as he gritted his teeth, and stood unmoving; his fathers hand still on his arm.\u00a0 The veil of anger in his watered eyes failed to lift as he continued to stare at Ben but shrugging his fathers hand from his arm, he sat back down, unwilling and unable to look back at his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going to preach to you on the words of the Bible Joe.\u00a0 Just remember this.\u00a0 If we are to remain civilized human beings, we can\u2019t take the law into our own hands, no matter what the reason. You\u2019ve got to understand that Joe!\u201d he said, almost pleading.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI truly understand your anger Joe, but without the law there is no justice. \u00a0I can\u2019t bear the thought of you wasting your life looking at every wanted poster, willing those men to be on, waiting to ride off and become your own judge, jury and executioner!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could feel his voice breaking with emotion as he looked at Joe who continued to stare blankly into the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t live my life continually wondering if some day you are going to just disappear without a word of goodbye,\u00a0 wondering\u2026\u2026..knowing \u00a0you could end up lying dead in some alley or grass verge, never knowing what had happened to you. Its tearing me apart Joe, and heaven knows how it will affect Adam and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben fell back down onto his chair drained, while he eyes never left his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood up, not wanting to see reason and unwilling to listen to his father\u2019s heartfelt words.\u00a0 Still feeling a fury burning within him he turned away from Ben and walked towards the stairs in silence.\u00a0 Then, as he placed his foot on the first step he stopped, taking hold of the banister rail with both hands.\u00a0\u00a0 With a deep sigh he placed his head on his hands, frozen like a statue unable to move forward or back.\u00a0 Suddenly he felt very tired.\u00a0 Tired of his hate, his anger, his misery, his failure. \u00a0Tired of living a lie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, please!\u201d Ben begged as he watched his son, still and silent.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard his father\u2019s faltering voice and looked over. Ben\u2019s face was contorted in sorrow and anguish, leaving Joe with an intense feeling of guilt at his last words which had been so harsh, so unrepentant. \u00a0Unable to see beyond his own despair, he had ignored and forgotten just how much distress his actions could cause his family. \u00a0As quickly as it had arrived, the anger in him evaporated and he turned towards his father walking over and sitting on the coffee table in front of Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really sorry Pa. I\u2019ve been so full of my own selfish misery, I didn\u2019t even consider how it would affect you, Adam or Hoss.\u201d he said, his voice full or remorse and his eyes glistening as tears filled them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s okay Joe.\u00a0 At least you are aware of it now.\u201d Ben answered quietly, struck by his son\u2019s look of shame and regret.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s hard Joe.\u00a0 It will be the hardest thing you do, wiping the thought of vengeance from your heart,\u00a0 but for all our sakes, you have to.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t be a son of mine if I didn\u2019t think you knew I was right, deep within yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded wearily, wiping his eyes then running his hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck as he took in a deep breath and sighed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do know it Pa.\u00a0 Always known it, deep down.\u00a0 It was just\u2026\u2026.well\u2026.I felt I owed it to Katie.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t want her death to go unpunished, felt I had failed her somehow.\u00a0 I should have protected her, saved her, but I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 It just tears me apart Pa, thinking about it.\u00a0 You do understand, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, I do understand son.\u201d answered Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou really do believe it, don\u2019t you Pa?\u00a0 No matter what, you believe you must stay within the law.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Joe I do.\u00a0 As God is my witness, may I be struck down if that isn\u2019t what I truly believe in my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seconds past and Joe gave his father a loving smile as he tried to lighten the moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019re still here!\u00a0 Looks like you\u2019re telling the truth!\u201d he said, with a slight chuckle.\u00a0 Ben smiled back, keen to savor this moment between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over at the fire, staring for a moment into the flickering flames.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want revenge with every fiber in my body Pa. That\u2019s something I can\u2019t deny.\u201d said Joe finally.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019ll leave it for the law to find those men and bring them to justice.\u201d\u00a0 he sighed deeply, then with a resigned voice he stared into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t go after those men Pa. \u00a0I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben searched his eyes, saw his honestly shining through.\u00a0 He breathed a deep sigh of relief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you son.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d he responded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAm I really worth all this worry Pa?\u201d asked Joe unsmiling, as he stared at Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking at Joe with tenderness and affection Ben leaned over, placing his hands on Joe\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely Joe! Always!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The fire crackled loudly, sparks shooting up the chimney as father and son sat together for a minute, both content to sit in silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally Joe drew away, looking over at the clock.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIts nearly 11.00 o\u2019clock.\u201d he said wearily, stretching out his arms as he slowly stood up, a feeling of exhaustion sweeping over him as he yawned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou coming up?\u201d he asked, noticing how Ben remained seated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn a minute Joe, I won\u2019t be long.\u201d he answered with a gentle smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Pa.\u00a0 Goodnight.\u201d said Joe as he walked towards the stairs, intuitively knowing he would have a good nights sleep for the first time in a long time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched him disappear around the corner then he looked over at his desk, his eyes fixed on the portrait of Joe\u2019s mother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like we\u2019ve got our boy back at last Marie.\u201d he said, smiling in the empty room.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three days later, a weak winter sun shone down as Joe rode into the yard of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 It was noon, and Joe had been out since first light, checking the stock and the fencing in the bottom meadow.\u00a0 He led Cochise into the barn, and then walked towards the house, noticing a familiar horse tied to the hitching post.\u00a0\u00a0 As he entered he saw his father and Sheriff Coffee sitting by the fire, drinking coffee.\u00a0 Ben smiled over at Joe as he hung up his coat and walked towards the two men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello Roy.\u00a0 Long way to come for a visit.\u00a0\u00a0 Nothing wrong is there?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Joe.\u201d Roy replied as he took a sip from his cup. \u201cI\u2019ve just been having a long chat with your Pa here.\u00a0 He tells me you\u2019ve seen sense and put all these thoughts of revenge behind you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father giving him a warm smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Roy. \u00a0Pa managed to talk me round.\u00a0 You won\u2019t find me looking through wanted posters anymore.\u201d he replied, slightly embarrassed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he wandered over to the dining table Joe noticed Roy and his father exchange glances.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy coughed clearing his throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have a problem Joe, and was hoping you could help me out?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A cautious smile appeared on Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cSure Roy, what can I do for you?\u201d he said as he poured himself a coffee, and sat down opposite his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy looked over at Ben as though waiting for permission to speak, uncertainty written on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay Roy.\u00a0 Ask him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked between the two men, confused.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy turned and looked over at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had a wire yesterday Joe, from my son in law, Billy.\u00a0 Seems Beth has finally had that baby of hers, a son, and I would like to go see them for a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, smiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour first grandchild, Roy. Congratulations! Do give my love to Beth.\u00a0 But what\u2019s that to do with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy sighed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Joe, usually Clem would take care of things while I am gone.\u00a0 However yesterday he managed to fall off his horse and break his leg.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t going far for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared with uncertainty at Roy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you won\u2019t be able to go visiting Roy?\u00a0 That\u2019s a shame.\u201d he said as he raised his cup to his lips.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you need me for?\u201d he asked as he began to sip his coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Joe, I\u2019d like to swear you in as a Deputy Sheriff and have you take over my job while I am away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe spluttered in astonishment, nearly choking on his drink.\u00a0 As he stared at Roy he swallowed hard and placed his cup on the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me to be the Sheriff?\u201d\u00a0 He asked, his voice high pitched and incredulous. \u201cWhy me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Joe, I seem to remember you had a short spell in Rubicon a couple of years ago, and managed to take care of things there to everyone\u2019s satisfaction.\u00a0 I need someone I can trust, who I know would do the job proper.\u00a0 You\u2019re the man I need.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat speechless, looking over at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you say Pa?\u00a0 You willing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s not much to do round here, and Adam and Hoss will be back by the end of the week.\u00a0 As Roy says, you\u2019re the man for the job.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head still unconvinced.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know Pa.\u00a0 Virginia City is a lot bigger than Rubicon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt will only be for a week.Joe.\u201d added Roy. \u201cYou can always ask Clem to help with the paperwork, and its been really quiet in town since the winter set in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard, looking from Roy to Ben, thinking hard.\u00a0 Though feeling slightly nervous he found himself nodding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Roy.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do it, if you really think I\u2019m up to it.\u00a0 When do I start?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy stood up and walked over to Joe putting out his hand.\u00a0 Joe shook the outstretched hand warmly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 Being able to visit my Beth and knowing I can leave Virginia City in capable hands is a weight off my mind.\u00a0 The stage leaves tomorrow morning, so you get to my office first thing then I can swear you in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure will Roy.\u201d he answered, his mind still reeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRight, I\u2019ll get back then.\u201d said Roy turning towards the door. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll see you first thing Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood up and walked the lawman to the door.\u00a0 Roy picked up his hat from the credenza and shook Ben\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBye Ben.\u201d he said as he opened the door.\u00a0 \u201cAnd thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou just have a good trip and give our best to Beth.\u201d said Ben as he watched Roy walk to his horse, waving goodbye then closing the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben returned to his chair.\u00a0 Joe was thoughtful as he looked over at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure about this Pa?\u201d he asked, a frown covering his face. \u201cYou think I can do the job after all the problems I\u2019ve caused you over the past months?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled reassuringly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I wouldn\u2019t have suggested your name to Roy if I didn\u2019t think you could do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou suggested me to Roy? After all that talk of revenge and vengeance!\u201d Joe asked in astonishment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Joe. I\u2019ve got faith in you son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face lit up as he smiled over, his eyes filled with sincerity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Pa.\u00a0 I won\u2019t let you down.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Joe started to chuckle, his high pitched laugh reverberating around the room.\u00a0 Ben looked on bemused, but happy to see the old Joe back with his infectious laugh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the joke Joe?\u201d asked Ben, unable to stop himself from smiling at the sight of his youngest who was laughing wildly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was just imagining Adam and Hoss\u2019s faces when they get back and see I am the Sheriff of Virginia City.\u201d he chuckled, \u201cThey will never believe their eyes!\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The winter wind had died down but it was still bitterly cold in Virginia City as Deputy Sheriff Joe Cartwright finished his morning rounds.\u00a0 He gratefully slipped into the warm office, carefully placing another log onto the stove that stood in a corner of the room. Removing his coat and hat he walked over to the large desk at the far end and sat down, glancing at the large pile of wanted posters that were spread out in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He could hardly believe he had once been obsessed with reading every last one, willing them to give him a name, a face, a place.\u00a0 He looked down at the badge on his chest, hearing his father\u2019s words again and again in his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018I have faith in you son\u2019 he had said.\u00a0 Faith!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a deep sigh Joe shuffled the posters into a neat pile and opening a drawer placed them inside.\u00a0 Out of sight out of mind, he thought to himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wondered why he had felt such dread at this job.\u00a0 This was his third day in charge and the town had never been so quiet, the citizens all cooperating with their new deputy, the young cowboys remaining well behaved and relatively sober.\u00a0 All who knew Joe were well aware of his lightening fast draw and hard fist, and he was shown the respect he duly deserved.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over at the clock hanging on the wall.\u00a0 It was nearly 11am and he scratched his head, yawning with boredom.\u00a0 The cells of the jail were empty, his round was completed, the town was peaceful and the paperwork was up to date.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the distance he heard the sound of the stage from Placerville rolling in, the driver shouting at the 6 horses to slow down and eventually stop outside the stage depot at the far end of the town.\u00a0 He glanced over at the clock, noting the time.\u00a0 The stage was only 3 minutes late, not bad for this time of year he mused.\u00a0 Sitting back in his chair he closed his eyes, his mind wandering back over the months and to all that had happened to him.\u00a0 Katie appeared in his minds eye and he felt a sudden pain grip his insides.\u00a0 The heartache was still there and at times he wondered if it would ever leave him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He continued to sit, eyes closed, his mind far far away, when suddenly the gruff voice of a man could be heard outside.\u00a0 Joe opened his eyes and stood up just as his office door opened and two men walked in, the first in handcuffs, his hat low over his face, followed by a large man wearing the badge of a US Marshall on his coat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood day Marshall.\u00a0 Can I help you?\u201d Joe said as he moved forward.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Marshall studied Joe for a moment, noticed the deputy badge on his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Sheriff Coffee?\u201d he asked as he looked around the office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee is out of town for a week.\u00a0 I am temporarily in charge.\u00a0 The name\u2019s Joe Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJake Bowers.\u00a0 Just got in from Placerville on the stage.\u201d said the Marshall, shaking Joe\u2019s hand, and then looking towards the three empty cells.\u00a0 With a rough push, he escorted the handcuffed man to the nearest, locking the door as Joe stood watching in silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry to do this to you Joe.\u201d said Jake as he walked back into the office and handed over the key. \u201cI need you to take care of this prisoner till the circuit judge arrives next week.\u00a0 I have all the paperwork here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He put his hand into his inside pocket, pulling out a large bundle, and handed them over to Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the charge?\u201d asked Joe, who looked over the papers, noting the name of his prisoner, Tyler Anderson.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBank robbery and murder and there are plenty of witnesses.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked up quickly, giving a short whistle.\u00a0 He walked over to the stove and poured out a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere did this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake pulled up a chair and sat down, thankfully taking the drink offered by Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLittle town called Belmont, way over the other side of Placerville.\u00a0 Three of them in the gang, robbed the bank and shot up the town about a week ago.\u00a0 The other two got clean away but Anderson\u2019s horse stumbled and he was thrown in the middle of the street.\u00a0 Sheriff captured him and passed him on to me to bring here.\u00a0 There\u2019s no Judge visiting Placerville for a couple of months and I reckon this fellow needs to go on trial pretty quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly a voice could be heard from the cells.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Marshall!\u00a0 You gonna undo these handcuffs and give me a drink?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake shook his head as he looked at Joe, and pulled out a key from his jacket pocket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWould you mind Joe?\u201d he said, handing Joe the key to the handcuffs.\u00a0 Joe nodded as something began to nag at him.\u00a0 Something familiar about what the Marshal had said.\u00a0 He walked to the cell, calling to the prisoner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust put your hands out, nice and slow.\u201d he said as he walked towards the bars.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As his prisoner threw his hat onto his bed and walked over Joe suddenly stopped, his face turning to stone. The blond haired man stared at Joe, a large scar falling from his eye and down his cheek.\u00a0 In an instant Joe knew this man. The months of anguish and suffering flooded back, tearing at his heart as he stared into the cell. His eyes narrowed and he backed away, the key still in his hand, his eyes never leaving the face of the prisoner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe returned to the desk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know this man.\u201d he said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cHe and two others robbed the Virginia City bank then killed and injured several of the townsfolk last July.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The marshal\u2019s brow furrowed.\u00a0 \u201cI remember hearing about that.\u00a0 Horrible business.\u00a0 You sure it\u2019s the same gang Joe ?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cOh yes.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure. Mr. Anderson left me a little souvenir.\u201d he answered, as he rubbed his left thigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like our prisoner will be on a double count of robbery and murder.\u201d said Jake thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou say the other two escaped?\u201d asked Joe, as the pain of the past year returned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSure did, but I have a feeling they may try and free their partner here.\u00a0 You better be on your guard Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Sheriff, what about these handcuffs?\u201d shouted a voice in the back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Standing up slowly Joe made his way to the connecting door.\u00a0 He stared at his prisoner, the old familiar feelings of hate and anger swelling up inside him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can wait.\u201d he shouted bitterly. \u201cTill I\u2019m good and ready.\u201d\u00a0 He closed the door with a bang and returned to sit with the Marshall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake could see how Joe\u2019s countenance had changed but made no comment. \u00a0\u00a0He looked over at the clock, finished his coffee and stood, placing his hat back on his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Joe, I had better be off.\u00a0 The coach leaves in 5 minutes and I need to be on it.\u00a0 Have a trial to make down in Sacramento by early next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook Joe\u2019s hand, and made his way to the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be alright won\u2019t you Joe?\u00a0 Be able to manage your prisoner till Roy gets back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes Marshall.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you worry on that score, I\u2019ll take good care of him.\u201d he answered, his voice showing hardness not before heard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood luck!\u00a0 \u00a0Nice to meet you Joe\u201d\u00a0 Jake opened the door, taking a last look at the young deputy stood by the desk, then walked out closing the door behind him, oblivious to the venomous voice that whispered in the office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take real good care of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was 10am the next morning when Ben arrived in Virginia City. \u00a0Making his way to the telegraph office he stepped inside and then minutes later emerged, a large smile across his face.\u00a0 He quickly walked over to the Sheriff\u2019s office, keen to visit Joe and see how he was coping in his new role.\u00a0 As Ben opened the door, he was surprised to see his son sat at the desk, gun in hand, pointing it at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBit jumpy aren\u2019t you Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe chose to ignore the remark as he replaced his gun in its holster.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you doing in town Pa?\u201d he asked giving his father a weak smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust wanted to see how you are getting on son.\u201d answered Ben, noticing a fleeting look of unease on Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben walked over to the desk and sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam just wired to say they will be back tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d said Joe, a little distractedly, as he walked to the stove and poured out two cups of coffee.\u00a0 Handing one over to Ben he sat back down, and began to drink.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could see Joe looked tired and was unshaven.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou look as though you need some sleep Joe.\u00a0 Something wrong?\u201d he asked anxiously as he sipped his coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lifting his tired eyes Joe nodded over to the cells.\u00a0 Ben stood up and walked over, noticing the single occupant who was laid on the bed.\u00a0 His eyes were swollen and bruised, his lip was bleeding and there were cuts on his face.\u00a0 Hearing footsteps Tyler looked up nervously, noticed Ben and rushed to the cell bars gripping them tightly, his knuckles showing white.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey mister. You gotta help me!\u201d he cried.\u00a0 \u201cThat Deputy has gone mad.\u00a0 Sat all night pointing his gun at me, staring at me without a word.\u00a0 He even beat me up and refuses to take these cuffs off.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As if to prove his point, Tyler Anderson pushed his arms through the cell bars showing his wrists still tied tight together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned, confused. \u00a0\u201cJoe?\u00a0 What\u2019s all this about?\u201d he asked, not willing to believe what his eyes told him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe walked over to the cell and stared at his prisoner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMay I introduce Tyler Anderson, Pa.\u00a0 Brought in from Placerville by a US Marshall yesterday.\u00a0 Bank robber, murderer, and the cause of some of my suffering!\u201d he sneered, again rubbing his left leg.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at Joe then back at Tyler.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean he is one of that gang Joe?\u201d he asked in astonishment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tyler sat back on his bed, cowering tightly against the wall.\u00a0 His eyes flashed between Ben and Joe, watching them through his swollen eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded silently then walked back to the office, Ben following, closing the door behind him.\u00a0 He turned on Joe instantly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHis face!\u00a0 You did that?\u201d he cried in horror.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe ran his fingers through his hair as he sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPrisoner decided to act a mite violent.\u00a0 Had to protect myself Pa!\u201d he said, sitting back in his chair and rubbing his fist that was slightly swollen and bruised.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI nearly died because of him, or have you forgotten?\u201d his voice showing a deep seeded hatred.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I haven\u2019t forgotten Joe, and I realize this must be a big shock for you, him turning up like this.\u00a0\u00a0 But you can\u2019t just start beating him up for your own personal satisfaction. He\u2019s your prisoner in your safe keeping!\u201d shouted Ben, in disbelief at his son\u2019s action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI told you Pa!\u00a0 He got violent.\u00a0 End of story.\u201d cried Joe, defiantly, willing his father to try and prove it otherwise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about the other two men Joe?\u00a0 Are they dead?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes suddenly darkened as he slowly took out his gun.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0 They\u2019re still out there. Marshall said there\u2019s a good chance they will even try to free Anderson while he is here.\u201d Joe lovingly caressed his gun as he spoke, his voice growing harder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so, \u2018cause I\u2019ll be ready for them.\u00a0 Ready to shoot them dead if I get the chance! There are plenty of eye witnesses who saw one of those two men shoot\u00a0 Katie down in cold blood,\u00a0 so why waste time and money on a trial?\u201d he said quietly, the voice of hate sending a chill down Ben\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! Every man deserves a fair trial, and its up to a court of law to give judgment regardless of his crime!\u00a0 Killing for the sake of killing isn\u2019t part of your job. \u00a0Don\u2019t you remember what you promised me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know exactly what I said Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe snapped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked down at the badge on his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI should thank you Pa, for giving me this badge and hopefully allowing me to achieve my aim. All within the law Pa! \u00a0All within the law!\u201d he said, mockingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph.\u00a0 I cannot believe what I am hearing!\u00a0 If I had thought for one minute this is how you would react I would never have put your name forward.\u00a0 I really thought all this talk of seeking retribution was behind you!\u201d cried Ben as disappointment showed on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a shrug of his shoulders, Joe stood and turned away as he went to the rifle cabinet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI guess that old saying is true then Pa!\u00a0 A leopard can\u2019t change its spots!\u201d he said coldly, as he pulled down a rifle and started to clean it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood silently for a moment staring at his son\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you can\u2019t be so cold blooded about this.\u00a0 Its not up to you to turn vigilante and \u2026.\u201d\u00a0 Ben got no further.\u00a0 Joe swung round, the rifle in his hand, nearly knocking Ben over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u00a0 You said you had faith in me!\u201d he shouted. \u201cWell prove it by just leaving me to do my job, the way I see fit!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unprepared for such a verbal assault from his son Ben jumped back in alarm, causing Joe to feel a small pang of remorse for his curt and angry behavior.\u00a0\u00a0 As Ben looked towards the cells with a nervous glance, Joe took hold of his father\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you worry about my prisoner.\u201d he said giving Ben a tight smile. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll take good care of him and keep him safe.\u00a0 He has an appointment with a Judge and hangman, that I don\u2019t want him to miss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Father and son stood for a moment, their eyes locked together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a deep sigh Ben turned away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease! Don\u2019t do anything hasty Joe.\u201d Ben begged as he made his way to the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see you tomorrow when I pick up Adam and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood, steely eyed, alone in the office. \u00a0He screwed his eyes tight and bit his lip.\u00a0 What kind of man had he turned into? What kind of son? he mused.\u00a0 With a shake of his head he resumed cleaning the rifle, resigned to whatever fate had in store for him.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

True to his word, Joe left his prisoner alone after Ben\u2019s departure, only visiting when he slid a tray of food and coffee under the cell bars. He had stared at Anderson but said nothing as he studied the man who had caused him so much pain.\u00a0 He was about the same age, his face scarred and weathered, leaving him looking mean and menacing.\u00a0 Anderson had stared back, hatred now in his eyes as he viewed the man responsible for his aching face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next morning, after a few hours sleep, Joe arose, tired and stiff.\u00a0 He glanced out of the window for any signs of strangers arriving and acting suspiciously, but all was quiet, so he turned back into the office, looking over at the clock.\u00a0 It was 7.30am.\u00a0\u00a0 Stoking up the stove he began to make breakfast for himself and his prisoner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By 8am it was prepared, and Joe placed a plate of food on a tray and took it through, glancing at the man who still lay prone on the bunk, a blanket pulled up over his head. \u00a0With a clatter on the cell bars, Joe slid the tray under and watched as his prisoner stirred and opened his eyes, viewing his guard.\u00a0 No words were said as Joe left the room, but he heard the sound of the tray being dragged into the cell as he closed the door behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting at his desk, Joe\u2019s mind wandered as he thought back to yesterday, and his altercation with Ben.\u00a0 He knew he had been in the wrong beating up his prisoner, wished it had never happened, but it was too late now.\u00a0 He sighed deeply; relieved to think Roy would be returning in the next couple of days.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced up at the clock.\u00a0 9 Am.\u00a0\u00a0 A worried frown raced across his face.\u00a0 The stage from Sacramento was due in at 8.30am, supposedly carrying Adam and Hoss, but it had so far failed to make an appearance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly in the distance he heard the all too familiar sound of a group of horses galloping, pulling the stage behind them and Joe sighed with relief.\u00a0 However, instead of racing past to the far end of town, the horses were pulled up early, snorting nervously outside Joe\u2019s office.\u00a0 Curious, but not alarmed, Joe stood up, ready to welcome home his brothers, when a man\u2019s voice suddenly boomed from outside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Sheriff!\u00a0 Come on out here!\u00a0 We got something to show you!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling a sense of apprehension, Joe picked up a rifle from the cabinet, holding his finger tight on the trigger as he unlocked the door and stepped outside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few townsfolk, curious as to what was going on had ventured out onto the street, but soon withdrew to safety, carefully watching the proceedings through windows and half opened doors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he stood in the doorway Joe quickly took in the scene before him.\u00a0 The stage was in the middle of the road, the driver lying either dead or unconscious on its roof.\u00a0 Three horses were tied to the back of the carriage, and two dark haired, unshaven and evil looking men stood by its open door, guns in their hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the dirt street, hands behind their backs and gags in their mouths, knelt two men, hatless and both with bruises on their faces.\u00a0 As they looked over at the doorway and recognized Joe, their eyes widened with surprise and shock.\u00a0 Their baby brother, badge on his chest, standing resolutely with a rifle in his hand stared back, willing himself to keep calm, as he viewed Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two gunmen glanced nervously at each other.\u00a0 This was not the aged Sheriff they thought was in charge in Virginia City. \u00a0This young man, with a Deputy badge pinned on his shirt, and a gun hung low on his left hip, was more than they had bargained for.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The bigger and elder of the two men, stepped forward, his eyes never leaving Joe or the rifle in his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know who we are Deputy?\u201d \u00a0he asked in a sneering tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeh, I got a good idea.\u00a0 You paid us a visit last year didn\u2019t you? I was warned you might come calling.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at the two men, his heart filling with rage and anger.\u00a0 Here, within a few feet of him was the murderer of his darling Katie, and countless other unfortunate, hapless individuals.\u00a0 Two men who now held the fate of his two brothers in their hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With an evil chuckle, the man nodded. \u201cSure did. You know why we\u2019re here then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Again Joe nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I\u2019m just going to hand him over to you?\u201d asked Joe, as he stoically fought hard to disguise his nervousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Deputy, that\u2019s why we held up the stage just outside town and \u00a0got ourselves a couple of hostages.\u00a0 Seems a fair exchange, two for one, don\u2019t you think?\u201d he said menacingly, kicking Adam roughly in the back with his boot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over at Adam and Hoss, both brothers mystified and bewildered by the events unfolding in front of them.\u00a0 It was only when they saw the look of hatred on Joe\u2019s face did they finally grasp the truth.\u00a0 These were Katie\u2019s killers!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou see Deputy, your prisoner is our younger brother, and I reckon I could easily kill me a couple of hostages on the way to getting him freed.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u201d he said, a mean smile spreading across his face, showing blackened and broken teeth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Brothers! \u00a0Two brothers trying to free their youngest, and there was he, the youngest Cartwright, committed to the same task with his own brothers!\u00a0 How ironic thought Joe, as his finger tightened on the rifle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Mort!\u201d shouted the second man, \u201cMaybe the Deputy don\u2019t think we are serious!\u201d as he pressed his gun hard onto Hoss\u2019 head, \u00a0the big man screwing his eyes together with the pain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow, don\u2019t be hasty Danny!\u201d said Mort with a laugh, as he knelt down by Adam\u2019s side. \u201cWe\u2019ve got to give the Deputy time to assess the situation.\u00a0 After all, it\u2019s a big responsibility, knowing you could be the cause of so much bloodshed.\u201d\u00a0 With a wicked grin he placed his gun under Adam\u2019s chin, forcing his head back as the muzzle dug deep into his skin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With both his brothers in obvious distress and discomfort, Joe knew he had to act quickly.\u00a0 Taking a step forward, his rifle still pointing towards the gunmen, he shouted over to them, glaring at them with narrowed eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s to stop me shooting you dead right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two Anderson brothers quickly glanced at each other, then looked back at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing I guess Deputy.\u00a0 But are you sure you\u2019re prepared to have two of your citizens killed in cold blood, right in front of you?\u00a0 \u2018Cause I can guarantee they\u2019ll be dead before you manage to shoot the pair of us!\u201d shouted Danny, in a strong Texas drawl.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mort laughed mercilessly.\u00a0 \u201cSeems we\u2019ve got ourselves a two-way stand off!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe could see the man had spoken the truth.\u00a0 Maybe he could shoot one gunman, but the other would have ample time to kill their two hostages, and that was something Joe was not prepared to risk.\u00a0 He slowly eased his finger off the trigger, lowering his rifle slightly, but keeping vigilant, keenly watching every movement from the two gunmen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sweat formed on Joe\u2019s forehead, trickling down his face, as he stood staring at the men who had never been far from his thoughts for the past 6 months.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy prisoner is not going anywhere!\u201d said Joe resolutely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mort and Danny exchanged glances, and then Mort suddenly yelled loudly in the direction of the jail.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Tyler, you okay in there?\u201d his voice echoing in the quiet street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A muffled answer could be heard through the thick jail walls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure am brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mort and Danny nodded at each other.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With an evil laugh, Mort then put his arm around Adam\u2019s throat, pushing his gun hard into his back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure these two gentlemen would be all too willing to trade places with our Tyler, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d said Mort.\u00a0 \u00a0Joe could see Adam grimacing in pain as he was repeatedly prodded and poked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oblivious to the family connection between Joe and their two prisoners, Mort continued, leaving Adam fighting for breath as the gunman\u2019s arm tightened. \u00a0Joe could no longer stand to see his brother in such agony so he forced out a laugh as he stared over at the two gunmen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExpendable!\u201d Joe stated dryly, a quick flicker of a smile appearing in the corner of his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou picked the wrong two hostages.\u00a0 These two bums are the lowest cardsharps and drunks from around these parts.\u00a0 Certainly not worth giving up my prisoner for!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss\u2019s eyes widened in surprise, and had the situation been different, Joe would have laughed uproariously at the expression on their faces as they stared over at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo good trying to trade those two with me. The only way you\u2019re going to get my prisoner is over my dead body.\u201d Joe said coldly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Andersons stood up, silent for a moment as they studied Joe. \u00a0This deputy was not the easy push-over they had hoped for. \u00a0Realizing their hostages were now of no use to them, they angrily pushed Adam and Hoss face down onto the cold dirt floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t move a muscle or there\u2019ll be a bullet in your back.\u201d Mort hissed at his prisoners, as he and Danny moved slowly to stand a few feet from the stage, their guns still trained on the two Cartwright brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure you want to die for the sake of one prisoner Deputy?\u00a0 Seems a big price to pay for a dollar a day!\u201d snarled Mort Anderson.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo! I don\u2019t want to die.\u201d said Joe in a dead calm and quiet voice. \u201cBut while I wear this badge I\u2019m gonna do my best to see to it you two pay for your crimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell said Deputy! The Sheriff would be proud of your good intentions,\u00a0 but don\u2019t expect me and Danny to come quietly, will you?\u201d said Mort mockingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Danny then shouted out in the direction of his younger brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis deputy reckons he\u2019s gonna get me and Mort.\u00a0 Any other lawmen in there with you Tyler?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Danny!\u00a0 That deputy is all on his own.\u201d came the muffled reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTwo against one Deputy.\u00a0 You happy with those odds?\u201d sneered Danny.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, walking slowly onto the road, passing directly in front of the prone bodies of his two brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was scared, very scared, and did not want to die but he knew he could not back down.\u00a0 There was more at stake now than settling a score on Katie\u2019s behalf.\u00a0 He was the only law in Virginia City, and his brothers lives depended on him upholding it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Andersons spread out, several feet apart, the distance giving them a distinct advantage as they continued to stare over at their opponent. \u00a0\u00a0Joe quickly glanced down at Adam and Hoss as he passed them. \u00a0Adam was looking up at him.\u00a0 Their eyes met and Joe gave him a fleeting reassuring smile then moved on, leaving as much room between the line of fire and his two brothers that he could.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the three men eyed each other, both Andersons slowly replaced their guns in their holsters.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is your final chance Deputy!\u00a0 You ready to die for the sake of the law?\u201d snarled Mort, as his hand hovered over his gun.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Danny stood his right hand opening and closing inches from his holstered weapon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded as he dropped the rifle and flexed his fingers on his left hand, knowing all too well he was staring death in the face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They waited, two pairs of eyes trained onto the young lawman.\u00a0 Suddenly one hand moved, and in the morning air, the only sound that could be heard was the rapid noise of firing handguns, and the scream of pain as bullets found their mark.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had been a long and restless night for Ben Cartwright.\u00a0\u00a0 Worrying about Joe, the possible arrival of two killers and his son\u2019s determination to seek retribution, no matter what, haunted Ben hour after hour, until eventually he had dozed off.\u00a0 Waking later than planned, Ben\u2019s journey was half an hour behind schedule when he finally arrived on the outskirts of Virginia City in the buckboard, keen to meet and bring home his two eldest sons.\u00a0 It was then he heard the ominous sound of gunfire from the direction of the Sheriff\u2019s Office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben tore round the corner, pulling up as he viewed the sight in front of him.\u00a0 Townsfolk were running from their places of safety into the main street.\u00a0 The stagecoach from Sacramento stood in the centre, the six horses growing restless and nervous in their harnesses.\u00a0 A body on the roof of the stagecoach was stirring, and helping hands were carefully lifting down the semi-conscious driver.\u00a0 \u00a0On the dirt floor lay two men, motionless, blood staining through their shirts and coats.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In all the noise and pandemonium no one heard the plaintive cry of a muffled voice as Tyler Anderson called out for his brothers.\u00a0 He received no answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked around frantically, knowing all his sons were somewhere in the mayhem.\u00a0 He suddenly caught sight of Adam and Hoss as helping hands were undoing their tied hands and removing the gags from their mouths.\u00a0 Although looking bruised and battered they appeared otherwise unhurt, and catching sight of Ben they walked over to him, shaking his trembling hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Hoss.\u201d asked the concerned father as he scanned their cut faces. \u201cAre you both okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa.\u00a0 Nothing broken, just a bit bruised.\u201d answered Hoss, giving his Pa a toothy grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust a bit sore Pa.\u201d answered Adam as he began to rub his back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed with relief, then began to scan the scene again.\u00a0 Suddenly he saw Joe slumped against a post, his left arm hanging limp, still holding onto his gun. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He was staring, shock etched on his face, unwilling or unable to move.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u00a0 Joe!\u201d Ben cried softly as he joined his son, watching Joe\u2019s eyes begin to focus.\u00a0 Slowly Joe returned to the present.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes lowered and he looked shamefully at the floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m truly sorry Pa.\u00a0 I had to do it.\u00a0 Not for vengeance, not for revenge, but for Adam and Hoss\u2019 sake.\u00a0 Please believe that if nothing else.\u201d \u00a0Joe cried, almost apologetically, as he slowly replaced his gun in its holster.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, placing his hands on Joe\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI told you son.\u201d said Ben softly. \u201cI have faith in you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes moistened as he looked up at the forgiving face of Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay Joe?\u201d asked the Doctor, as he walked over and looked the young deputy up and down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll be fine Doc. Just give me a couple of minutes to get my breath.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThose two gunmen need bullets removing, but their wounds are not life threatening.\u00a0 You did a good job there Joe. Or should I say Deputy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared at the Doctor, a confused frown crossing his face as he stared hard towards the downed men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean, they aren\u2019t dead?\u201d he asked, incredulously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook his head solemnly.\u00a0 \u201cNo Joe.\u00a0 Just got hit in the shoulders.\u00a0 They will be able to stand trial, no problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThese men here will take them down to my office.\u201d continued Doc Martin, pointing to half a dozen\u00a0 men who were hauling the Andersons towards the surgery.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I had killed them.\u201d Joe said shaking his head as he looked towards Ben. \u201cAll these months of wanting revenge, and now I\u2019m relieved I didn\u2019t kill them.\u00a0 Does that make sense Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His father nodded and smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not a born killer Joe.\u00a0 You did your job within the law.\u00a0 Can\u2019t ask much more of a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a grateful look at Ben, Joe took a deep breath then resumed his role as Deputy Sheriff of Virginia City, looking over at the Doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make sure they have an armed guard until they can be moved back to the jail.\u00a0 Is that okay with you Doc?\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Doctor nodded his agreement, and then began to walk back to his office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss appeared, and Joe looked at his brothers, noting their battered faces.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you two okay?\u201d he asked, concerned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled as he studied his younger sibling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure am Joe, but confused though, especially when you came out of the Sheriff\u2019s office wearing that badge.\u201d he laughed, slapping his baby brother on the back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou did a great job there Joe.\u00a0 Thanks little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled at Hoss, relieved to see the big man reasonably unscathed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam continued to stand stock still, staring at Joe, his eyes flying between Joe\u2019s face and the badge on his chest, a bewildered look on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI figure I didn\u2019t have a hit on the head, so I\u2019m not hallucinating am I?\u201d he said, smiling, as he prodded his finger on the badge on Joe\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe began to chuckle, watching the confused and perplexed expression that flashed across his eldest brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo you\u2019re not hallucinating Adam.\u201d said Ben proudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Adam\u2019s eyes darkened, his smile disappearing in an instant as a thought hit him.\u00a0 Stepping forward he wrapped his arm around Joe\u2019s neck, squeezing it, as he feigned anger.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExpendable Deputy?\u00a0 We were expendable?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Adam!\u00a0 It was just the first word that came into my head.\u201d Joe cried, as he squirmed in his brother\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Help!\u201d cried Joe as Adam squeezed his arm tighter around his brother\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a yell Hoss also joined in the feigned assault,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust who is the cardsharp and who the drunk then Joe?\u201d he asked in a hurt voice, his large arm wrapping itself around Joe\u2019s waist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben began to laugh, watching the good tempered play between his sons as the two eldest slowly dragged their younger brother towards a nearby water trough, and with a cry of glee, unceremoniously dumped Joe, laughing hysterically as the young lawman of Virginia City, spluttered and splashed in the cold water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he returned to Virginia City two days later, Roy Coffee had been amazed at the events that had taken place in the one week he had been absent.\u00a0 Truly impressed at the way Joe had handled the situation, he chose to ignore the protests from the youngest Anderson about Joe\u2019s brutality, just relieved his temporary Deputy had survived without injury.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The aged Sheriff thought long and hard about the situation thrust upon Joe that morning. He realized, deep in his heart, had he been confronted with the two gunmen the outcome would of probably been completely different, and more tragic.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ten days later the Circuit Judge arrived and the Anderson brothers were put on trial and found guilty of murder and robbery in a court of law.\u00a0 Sentence was passed and a day later they inhabited a far corner in the local cemetery, away from the law abiding folk of Virginia City.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>SPRING<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The year had gone full circle.\u00a0 Winter was now a distant memory as the fertile earth on the Ponderosa warmed under the spring sunshine, the meadows returning to their luscious green, calves appearing among the herds of cattle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nine months had passed since Katie had died.\u00a0 In the first week of April, with Ben\u2019s blessing, her remains were brought up to the family burial plot and she had been laid to rest a few yards away from the grave of Marie.\u00a0 It had been a short and simple service, attended only by the Minister and the four Cartwrights.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he felt the reassuring touch of his father\u2019s arm around his shoulders, Joe had buried his face into Ben\u2019s chest and wept unashamedly, the sympathetic hands of both Adam and Hoss gently resting on his back. He finally said goodbye, and that simple ceremony was the cataclysm that saw Joe on the road to recovery.\u00a0 His grieving heart began to mend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was now late April and Joe returned to the revered site alone. \u00a0For several minutes he stood, silent and still, a gentle breeze blowing around his bare head as he stared down on Katie\u2019s grave, remembering.<\/p>\n

It was a year to the day since he had asked Katie to marry him.\u00a0 A day so fresh and vivid in his mind he could recall every precious word, touch and sensation as their love had been consummated for the first and only time.\u00a0 It was a memory he would treasure forever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had been twelve months full of every conceivable emotion. \u00a0Happiness, love, sorrow, depression, hate, fear and finally remorse had all contributed towards Joe\u2019s year.\u00a0 Then, after the Anderson brothers had been hung, another emotion enveloped Joe.\u00a0 Acceptance!\u00a0 Acceptance of what had happened, acceptance of his loss, acceptance that fate can deal both good and bad hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wiping away tears he finally stepped back, his silent prayers at an end. \u00a0Replacing his hat he returned to Cochise, mounted, and looked back once more towards the graves of the two women he had loved with all his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGod bless you both.\u201d he said with a loving smile, then turned, slowly making his way back to his family and home.<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: A Year of tragedy for Joe Cartwright.<\/p>\n

Rated: K+\u00a0 Word Count:\u00a0 18259<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":13411,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-2324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1489,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Emily.jpg?fit=391%2C455&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14354,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14354","url_meta":{"origin":2324,"position":0},"title":"Seasons (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"June 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0 Ben's worried and sends new hand Candy Canaday on a mission. Rating: \u00a0K Word Count: \u00a01779","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/seasons-detail.jpg?fit=835%2C650&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/seasons-detail.jpg?fit=835%2C650&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/seasons-detail.jpg?fit=835%2C650&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/seasons-detail.jpg?fit=835%2C650&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14984,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14984","url_meta":{"origin":2324,"position":1},"title":"Too Good a Day (by Starlite)","author":"starlite","date":"September 14, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0How do the Cartwrights enjoy a nice spring day? Rated:\u00a0 G (2,050 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/laketahoe.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15342,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15342","url_meta":{"origin":2324,"position":2},"title":"Spring Fever (by Ginny F)","author":"Ginny F","date":"October 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: In the episode \u201cThe Pure Truth\" Hoss is suffering from spring fever ( the family is also suffering from the effect on Hoss ). Joe remarks to Ben and Adam that Hoss could step on you and not realize it and mentions Hoss breaking his, Joe\u2019s, leg the previous\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":48088,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=48088","url_meta":{"origin":2324,"position":3},"title":"The Unforgettable Day (by mo1427)","author":"mo1427","date":"February 28, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A Spring community picnic, a young girl, and a Cartwright. All make for an Unforgettable Day.\u00a0 Rating: G, Word Count: 913","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/frontporch.jpg?fit=439%2C305&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3697,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3697","url_meta":{"origin":2324,"position":4},"title":"Legend of the Grizzly (by GinnyF)","author":"Ginny F","date":"August 11, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A giant grizzly bear terrorizes the countryside Rated:\u00a0 MA (7,695 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Bear-River.png?fit=527%2C527&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Bear-River.png?fit=527%2C527&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Bear-River.png?fit=527%2C527&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13441,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13441","url_meta":{"origin":2324,"position":5},"title":"The Cherry Tree Saga (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"September 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Like the ever changing seasons, life blooms and dies on the Ponderosa. 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