{"id":2358,"date":"2007-12-19T09:40:05","date_gmt":"2007-12-19T14:40:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2358"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:12:40","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:12:40","slug":"lost-brother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2358","title":{"rendered":"Lost Brother (by Dodo)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: <\/span>An accident leaves Joe unable to remember one man.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> K\u00a0 Word Count: 18210<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lost Brother<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 1:<\/p>\n

It was early evening in late June and a warm breeze danced a waltz around the Ponderosa pines while the smell of honeysuckle permeated along the verandah of the Cartwright ranch.\u00a0 With dinner only a few minutes away, the two occupants in the large sitting room sat quietly, each intently reading.\u00a0 After a long day amongst a bawling herd of cattle they both appreciated the tranquility and peace that now settled around them, the comfortable silence a welcome respite for both father and son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss looked up in unison as they heard the sound of familiar footsteps carefully making their way along the upstairs landing and down the stairs.\u00a0 Joe came into view, concentrating hard as he adjusted the thin black tie around his neck and smoothed out his crisp white shirt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked up as Hoss let out a whistle.\u00a0 \u201cWell, don\u2019t you look as pretty as a picture,\u201d he cried. \u201cDidn\u2019t need to dress up just for us though!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe walked over, his dark hair slicked and brushed back.\u00a0 \u201cThank you brother,\u201d Joe replied with a broad smile on his face,\u00a0 \u201cbut this isn\u2019t for your benefit.\u00a0 I always try to look my best for the citizens of Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going into town again?\u201d quizzed Hoss, \u201cWhat\u2019s so dadburn special about that place?\u00a0 Seems like you\u2019ve been going there an awful lot over the past weeks Joe.\u00a0 You got yourself a gal?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Giving his big brother a mischievous look, Joe didn\u2019t answer him as he checked his appearance in the mirror hung on the wall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared hard, a questioning look on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His youngest son, just turned 21 years old, had returned two days early from a business trip to a ranch in the far north of Nevada, owned by Josh Bannan, an old friend of the Cartwrights.\u00a0 The trip, supposedly for a full week, had gone well.\u00a0 Joe had been given sole responsibility to check over and buy at least two dozen brood mares to introduce to the every growing quality herd of horses that was building up on the ranch.\u00a0 Casting his young but knowledgeable eye over the stock he had known quality when he saw it.\u00a0 So without the need to give it much consideration, had chosen the horses and concluded the deal with a shake of the hand, leaving with the promise the horses would be delivered to the Ponderosa within a few weeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The young man had then returned to the ranch in a euphoric mood.\u00a0\u00a0 Relieved to have carried out his task well and pleased to show his father and brothers that he too could be relied on when it came to business dealings on the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you really going into town Joe?\u00a0 I thought as you had been away we could have dinner and a long chat about those horses you purchased.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned to Ben, giving him an apologetic smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa.\u00a0 I had really hoped to go out tonight.\u00a0 After all, it\u2019s been five days away from a cold beer in Virginia City!\u00a0 You do understand don\u2019t you?\u201d he asked, as his handsome face looked down on his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a deep sigh Ben nodded, unwilling to spoil his youngest son\u2019s night out even though he had looked forward to an evening of conversation and laughter that always seemed to happen when Joe and Hoss were together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk tomorrow Pa. Promise,\u201d said Joe, as he gave his father an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAt least you have Hoss here and Adam to keep you company.\u201d\u00a0 He looked around the large room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTalking of whom, where is he?\u201d asked Joe, suddenly realising since his return an hour before, he had been so busy taking a bath and dressing for his night out, he had totally failed to notice the absence of his eldest brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam is staying over in town today Joe.\u00a0 Met up with an old friend from Boston so he decided to stay and talk over old times,\u201d answered Hoss, as he began sniffing the air.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is that smell?\u201d he asked, puckering up his nose as he followed the direction of the aroma.\u00a0 He looked over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cIs that you Joe?\u00a0 You must have doused a bottle of that there cologne on by the stink its making,\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head Joe gave his brother a pitiful look.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re just jealous Hoss.\u00a0 This cologne will send the ladies wild with desire.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMore like send them wild with nausea little brother,\u201d replied Hoss, as he held his nose and moved over to the dining table.\u00a0 Joe gave him a playful whack on the backside then made his way to the credenza by the front door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave a good time Joe.\u00a0 Maybe you will bump into Adam in town and join up with him and his friend,\u201d said Ben, following his son to the door and picking up Joe\u2019s hat as his son put on his coat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head and chuckled as he took his Stetson and banged it firmly on his head, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think spending an evening with brother Adam while he reminisces with an old college friend is what I had in mind for my night out Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled as Joe opened the door.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I guess it isn\u2019t son,\u201d he said with a grin, and giving his son a loving pat on the back, closed the door as Joe disappeared into the dark night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben returned to the dining table and sat down with Hoss, just as Hop Sing began to bring out the warmed dinner plates.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cOnly two tonight Hop Sing,\u201d he said in a despondent voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a barrage of Chinese the cook returned to the kitchen, ranting and raving about the lack of Cartwrights to enjoy his well prepared food.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess he\u2019s not too pleased Adam and Joe aren\u2019t around either,\u201d said Ben as he looked over at his middle son. Hoss nodded in agreement.\u00a0 \u201cNever mind Pa.\u00a0 Means we get to eat seconds!\u201d said Hoss, ever positive, grinning widely.\u00a0 Ben chuckled and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSure does son, sure does,\u201d he replied, as a delicious aroma of stew and dumplings wafted in from the kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled as he began to break open a bread roll, and then looked thoughtfully at his father, his tone becoming more serious.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou reckon Joe has found himself a gal Pa?\u00a0 He\u2019s had that daydreaming look on his face over the past few weeks, and seems to have been going to Virginia City an awful lot lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head as he poured a glass of water, Ben gave a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cI have no idea son.\u00a0 Seems your brother keeps his own counsel more and more these days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben noticed a downcast look on his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cHoss?\u201d pressed Ben, \u201cSomething wrong?\u201d\u00a0 Shrugging his shoulders, Hoss gave his father a sad looking smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh its nothing real important Pa,\u201d he responded, \u201cIts just one time when we were younger Little Joe would tell me everything that was going on in that brain of his.\u00a0 But nowadays, well, seems my little brother has grown up so fast, he don\u2019t need me around anymore to share his secrets with.\u00a0 And I guess I miss that.\u00a0 Miss it a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded both in agreement and sympathy.\u00a0 Both he and Adam had also noticed a change in his youngest who seemed to be more detached and not willing to confide in his family of late.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would appear,\u201d remarked Ben \u201cLittle Joe the boy is now well and truly lost to us.\u00a0 Now we have Joe the man, and we will just have to accept the change in him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded in agreement at what Ben had said, and as Hop Sing entered, both father and son sat back in eager anticipation of the delicious meal put before them,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe whistled quietly as he rode steadily towards Virginia City, a slight sense of remorse about the small white lie he had told Ben and Hoss playing on his mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive\u2019 he thought, shaking his head ruefully, as he recalled a saying from one of Adam\u2019s favorite authors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

About a mile from town a narrow track appeared winding its way towards a large imposing house built many years before by one of the first silver barons of Nevada. \u00a0Anderson Mansion stood alone on a small hillock, noticeable for miles around, its white walls always visible to those who passed on the main road. \u00a0It was always known locally as Nevada\u2019s \u2018White House\u2019 and from being a small child Joe had viewed it from afar with curiosity, always hoping to view the plush interior but never seeing past its large impressive front door. \u00a0However, recent events had given him the opportunity to realise his dream.\u00a0 As Joe came to the end of the lane he stopped, glancing behind him as if wary of being followed.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath he turned Cochise from the direction of Virginia City and quickly cantered up towards the house, his heart beating fast in anticipation of the evening that lay ahead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The house had been empty for a while, until two months earlier when it had been rented out to a notorious actress by the name of Rosemary Palmer.\u00a0\u00a0 Well known in the theatres of New York and San Francisco, she was a beautiful woman in her early thirties who had decided to have a rest from her busy schedule and take a while to recuperate around the busy metropolis that was Virginia City.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When first arriving on the stage coach with just her personal male secretary for company, she had caught the eye of Joe Cartwright who had been only too willing to assist the beautiful woman and her sole employee. Although several years her junior, Rosemary had been immediately drawn to the young man, welcoming his attention.\u00a0 She had immediately sensed her visit to Virginia City would be far from the boring rest she had expected.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From first arriving, Rosemary made it a policy to never venture into town as she was unwilling to face both her adoring and critical public.\u00a0\u00a0 So instead she sat around the house during the day, reading scripts sent for her perusal, painting, and writing letters to her family and friends.\u00a0 However, the nights were a different matter!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From their first meeting Joe had become a welcome evening visitor to the glamorous femme fatale!\u00a0\u00a0 But, with her reputation to uphold and realising the need for discretion from the onset in such a close knit community, she had requested Joe to keep their relationship quiet from his family and friends.\u00a0 This Joe had been happy to do knowing only too well how his father would disapprove.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Miss Rosemary Palmer was well known for her raunchy performances on stage which had been the cause of much debate, causing controversy wherever she performed.\u00a0 Joe also knew the age difference would attract comment and displeasure, so he willingly allowed himself to be drawn into a world of half-truths and discreet meetings.\u00a0 All of which added to the excitement and romance as the older woman and young man began a clandestine love affair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So, for the past two months the youngest Cartwright would arrive on many occasions as darkness fell.\u00a0 Rosemary\u2019s loyal secretary, a discreet man who was also her personal cook and bodyguard, was allowed the evening off to visit Virginia City, and Joe would stay until the early hours or even the following morning.\u00a0 With Cochise hidden behind the house in a small stable, at no time did anyone guess of the secret liaison between the risqu\u00e9 actress and the youngest son of the largest ranch owner in Nevada.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Their affair grew more passionate and intense and Rosemary thrived on the attentive and loving Joe, knowing full well he was losing his heart to her.\u00a0\u00a0 But she was, in truth, a heartless and vain individual. Although deeply fond of Joe, she still looked forward with relish to the time when she would cast him aside, just as she had done over the years\u00a0 on countless occasions to her many other suitors.\u00a0 To Rosemary it was all an act and a game, made the more exciting as she seduced her conquest and he succumbed to her charms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then Joe had departed for a week on ranch business, leaving Rosemary alone and feeling very bored and frustrated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rode up to the house, its white walls still visible in the darkening gloom of evening.\u00a0 He had missed Rosemary over the past five days, her smiling face never far from his thoughts.\u00a0\u00a0 He was captivated and enthralled by the older woman, and knew he had fallen in love.\u00a0 It was not an unfamiliar emotion to Joe.\u00a0 Since turning 17 years old, Joe had lost his heart a few times, but not with the intensity that now consumed him.\u00a0 As he recollected their nights of passion he felt sure and confident she was of the same mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He pulled up Cochise, noticing the house was in darkness save for one upstairs room that had the glow of a lamp shining behind its curtains.\u00a0 Joe knew the room well.\u00a0 It was the main bedroom and he inwardly smiled, aware his early arrival would be a pleasant surprise for the beautiful woman within its walls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dismounting, he was about to lead his horse around the back to the stable when he heard laughter; the familiar sweet pitched laughter of his lover.\u00a0 He frowned, looking up at the large French window that opened up onto a balcony where another voice could be heard, deep and muffled, but definitely male.\u00a0 His heart missed a beat and his stomach suddenly churned in despair.\u00a0 There was more laughter, and then an ominous silence as the light suddenly went out.\u00a0 Joe stood transfixed, unable to believe it.\u00a0 He had only been away five days, and the woman to whom he had lost his heart had found another man!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He clenched his fists as his whole world seemed to crash down on him and his happiness crumbled away, leaving him with a feeling of total misery and rejection.\u00a0 Suddenly his volatile temper arose and with a flash of rage Joe rushed towards the back door intent on confronting Rosemary and her male companion, without thought of the consequences or embarrassment it would cause.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But before he reached it Joe stopped in astonishment.\u00a0 The man\u2019s horse was tied by the back door and it looked over as Joe appeared around the corner.\u00a0 Recognising him it whinnied as Joe stared uncomprehending, unable to think clear as his heart broke in an instant.\u00a0\u00a0 The woman he loved was with another man, but not just any man.\u00a0 He had been betrayed by his own brother, Adam!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling sick, and his mind confused, Joe stepped back and in a daze returned to Cochise\u00a0\u00a0 pressing his face into the horse\u2019s soft neck as he felt tears filling his eyes.\u00a0 Swallowing hard he mounted, giving the darkened window a final glance.\u00a0 With a feeling of utter desolation he turned Cochise and galloped off into the dark night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cochise wandered steadily for hours, his rider not knowing or caring where he was. All Joe could think was how stupid he felt, how gullible he had been, how foolish he was.\u00a0\u00a0 He thought with a start, would Rosemary have told Adam about their secret meetings?\u00a0 Had they laughed and joked together about this na\u00efve young man who had been taken in so easily by the experienced seductress?\u00a0\u00a0 The once proud and confident Joe felt humiliated beyond measure, more so that his oldest brother, the man he had looked up to all his life, was now the cause of all his distress.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wearily he returned to the ranch in the early hours, leading Cochise into the stable, then quietly entering the house, relieved to find himself alone in the large downstairs room.\u00a0 Feeling the need for solace he eagerly opened a bottle of brandy, and sat dejectedly in front of the dying embers of the fire.\u00a0\u00a0 There he stayed on the settee, drink after drink, hardly tasting the liquid as the brandy took effect on his dispirited body yet the pain in his heart continued, unceasingly.\u00a0 All he could think about, over and over again, was the sound of Rosemary, laughing, and the sight of Sport by her back door.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t so much the fact Rosemary had changed her affection that tore at him, but the thought that it was with Adam she had found new excitement and entertainment.\u00a0 Eventually weariness overcame him and he fell asleep where he lay.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u00a0 Joe!\u00a0 Joseph!\u201d Ben\u2019s insistent voice roused the young Cartwright from his slumber.\u00a0 Joe opened his bleary eyes, looking around in confusion.\u00a0 He was lying on the settee, his shirt crumpled and his hair disheveled.\u00a0 There was an unpleasant taste in his mouth and beside him, on the coffee table, was a near empty bottle of brandy and a glass lay upturned on the wooden floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat up but too quickly.\u00a0 The painful throbbing in his head made him close his eyes as he slumped back down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally Joseph, is it too much trouble to go to your own bed?\u201d Ben said, his voice showing annoyance, as he picked up the fallen glass and returned the brandy bottle to the sideboard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat up again, slumping awkwardly as he placed his feet on the floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa. Got in late and didn\u2019t want to disturb anyone,\u201d he said, drawing his fingers through his hair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the brandy Joe?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you have enough drink in town without resorting to finishing most of my best brandy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked up through glazed eyes at the imposing figure of Ben as he stood staring down with disapproval on his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So that was the reason for his thumping headache he mused!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I didn\u2019t realise I was drinking so much,\u201d he replied, shakily rising from the couch.\u00a0 He began to make for the stairs, but suddenly the room began to spin and he clutched his fathers arm tightly, steadying himself, while his head throbbed incessantly.\u00a0 Ben stood still, giving Joe a minute to find his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally Joe, was there any need to drink quite so much?\u201d Ben asked sympathetically, beginning to feel a little sorry for his worse for wear son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father, blinking hard to focus, as the events of the previous evening flooded back and he shook his head gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Pa.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to, its just\u2026\u2026.well\u2026.something\u00a0 happened\u2026\u2026.I just needed a drink.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomething happen Joe?\u00a0 Something serious?\u201d asked Ben, concern flooding his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pa,\u201d replied Joe miserably, as he removed his hand from Ben\u2019s arm and began to make his way to the stairs. \u201cNothing serious.\u00a0 Just something I need to sort out in my own way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling a little weak in the knees he began to slowly make his way up the stairs, pulling himself on the banister.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll sort it out,\u201d he murmured as he disappearing around the corner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Entering his room, Joe collapsed onto his bed as a shooting pain shot through his head and nausea swept over him.\u00a0 Fighting back tears that threatened he gazed up at the ceiling for a while, his self inflicted hangover adding to his misery and unhappiness.\u00a0 Thinking hard in a confused state, he eventually sat up and tearing off his shirt, threw it with disgust onto the floor, and then buried his head in his hands, self-pity and anger welling up inside him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Downstairs Ben stood for a minute, shaking his head in bewilderment as the sound of Joe\u2019s bedroom door shutting echoed down the stairs.\u00a0 Whatever had happened between last night and this morning was a mystery, but Ben knew Joe would only open up when he was good and ready.\u00a0 With a deep sigh he turned and made his way to the dining table just as the front door opened, and a familiar figure wandered in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMorning Pa,\u201d called Adam as he hung up his hat and gun belt.\u00a0 \u201cHope there\u2019s fresh coffee in the pot.\u00a0 Sure need one.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled over at his eldest, glad to see him returned so early in the day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood to see you son.\u201d he replied, pouring out two cups of coffee as Adam made his way to the table and sat down by his father\u2019s right side.\u00a0 A familiar pounding on floorboards was then heard as Hoss steadily walked downstairs, giving his brother a welcoming toothy grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, if it isn\u2019t elder brother, returned nice and early to help with the chores at last,\u201d he cried, hauling his big frame onto the dining chair opposite Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled over, acknowledging the friendly banter of his big brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing appeared placing the dishes of bacon and eggs in the middle of the table, and giving Adam a friendly smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood to see Number One son.\u00a0 You eat!\u201d he cried, as he disappeared quickly into the kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem on that score,\u201d said Adam as he tucked into the food in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at Adam, smiling gently.\u00a0 \u201cYou enjoyed your reunion then Adam?\u00a0 Plenty to talk about with your old college friend?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you bring him here to visit?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked over, almost sheepishly.\u00a0 \u201cWell Pa, truth is, well\u2026.he was a she!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben raised his eyebrows and Hoss looked over.\u00a0 Adam could see he had the undivided attention of his family and he continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know the actress who has been living up at the \u2018White House\u2019 for the past couple of months?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnderson Mansion?\u201d asked Ben.\u00a0 Adam nodded, \u201cWell, a few days ago she came into town for the very first time and I bumped into her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou met the actress?\u201d said Hoss, his eyes growing wide.\u00a0 He had heard all the gossip about this legend who was staying so close, but was never seen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAt first I didn\u2019t realise, but then I recognized her.\u00a0 She was the sister of one of my close friends from college.\u00a0 Name was Rosemary Voigt then.\u00a0 We actually went out for a few months, and I remember how she was intent on working on the stage. Eventually we parted and she left for New York.\u00a0 However, I never realised she and Rosemary Palmer were the very same person.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid she know you Adam, after all these years?\u201d asked Hoss, absorbing every word closely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOnce I had introduced myself, she remembered me very well,\u201d said Adam, with a knowing smile.\u00a0 \u201cI offered to take her for a ride up to the lake, so yesterday we had a picnic on the north shore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s she been doing with herself then, holed up in that big houses all these months?\u201d asked a curious Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI asked her that myself Hoss.\u00a0 Seems she spends most of the days reading and painting.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stuffed a mouthful of bacon into his mouth then looked back over at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cWhat else you talk about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Deliberately taking his time, Adam poured himself another cup of coffee, keen to draw out his story for the benefit of his father and brother.\u00a0 He took a sip, then replacing his cup shrugged and rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she asked what I was doing, if I was married, where I lived.\u00a0 She seemed genuinely interested when I told her about the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Asked lots of questions about the ranch, Pa, you and Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A big beam appeared on the face of Hoss as he digested both his breakfast and Adam\u2019s words.\u00a0 \u201cTo think, Rosemary Palmer knows all about me,\u201d he said, his chest puffing out like a peacock!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I asked her what she did for amusement during the long evenings, she just laughed and said she had a\u2026erm \u2026 special friend who called round.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean she\u2019s been \u2026\u2026..well\u2026\u2026 you know Adam?\u201d said Hoss quietly, his face beginning to redden with embarrassment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam laughed at his brother\u2019s glowing face and nodded his head in understanding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFrom knowing her from years ago, and also her present\u00a0 reputation, I guess she has been\u2026\u2026.entertaining!\u201d he chuckled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took hold of his napkin and pretended to wipe his mouth so as to hide the amused expression that formed as Hoss\u2019 face blushed even deeper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed hard as he looked thoughtfully at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWonder who it is?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea Hoss. I did ask, but she just shook her head, very definitely, so I didn\u2019t probe any further after that.\u00a0 Anyway, once we arrived back from the ride, she invited me to the house for dinner.\u00a0 Her secretary can certainly cook!\u00a0 We had a pleasant evening, recalling and reminiscing about all those years ago in Boston.\u00a0 Then she told me about her time on the stage. \u00a0Some of those stories \u2026.. well they would make your hair stand on end.\u00a0 At least, what hair you have left big brother!\u201d laughed Adam as he saw the expression of astonishment growing on Hoss\u2019 face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe got on real well,\u201d he continued with a grin. \u201cAnd\u2026\u2026 just let\u2019s say I didn\u2019t need to return to my hotel room last night!\u201d\u00a0 He winked over towards his brother who stared, opened mouthed, hardly believing what he was hearing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2026. and \u2026\u2026her?\u201d he said, hesitatingly, nervously glancing out of the corner of his eye at Ben, wondering what he would be thinking of his son\u2019s liaison.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam too glanced over at his father, wondering if he was about to comment, but Ben said nothing.\u00a0\u00a0 His son was far too old to be given instruction on how to live his life, especially with the likes of Rosemary Palmer!\u00a0 So, trying hard to hide the smile that was forming, Ben looked down at his breakfast, studying it with feigned interest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked away from his father then shook his head with amazement.\u00a0 \u201cI tell you brother Adam!\u00a0 You never fail to amaze me,\u201d he said as he resumed his breakfast, his face slowly returning to its normal colour.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou seeing her again Adam?\u201d he asked moments later, more than keen to hear more tales.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled but shook his head ruefully.\u00a0 \u201cOnly to say goodbye when she catches the stage this afternoon.\u00a0 She received a wire yesterday offering her a lucrative deal in Europe so was going to be busy packing today and heading back to San Francisco. Needs to catch the steamer early next month.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u00a0 You and Rosemary Palmer!\u00a0 Who\u2019d of thought it,\u201d said Hoss, shaking his head as he poured out another cup of coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From upstairs came the sound of a banging door and Adam looked up surprised.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s back?\u00a0 Thought he was away till tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cHe finished the deal early.\u00a0 Got back yesterday, but judging by the state of him this morning I reckon he wishes he hadn\u2019t gone to Virginia City last night!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss looked over at the emerging figure, wondering what their father was implying.\u00a0 It was soon evident what he meant.\u00a0 Changed into his working clothes, his face still pale and his head constantly throbbing, Joe stared down at the floor as he made his way slowly down the stairs, his whole body stature shouting \u2018hangover!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he reached the bottom step he looked up towards the dining table and immediately saw Adam looking over at him, with a bemused expression on his face.\u00a0 He stood for a moment, silent, staring directly at his elder brother.\u00a0 Now was the moment of truth.\u00a0 Did Adam know about his secret liaison of the past weeks?\u00a0 Was he laughing at him now?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi Joe!\u201d Adam called \u201cYou look a bit worse for wear.\u00a0 Must have had a good night!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe remained still, maintaining eye contact with Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d he asked in a raised voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cWell, you don\u2019t look too good from where I\u2019m sitting!\u00a0 I guess you\u2019ve got one heck of a hangover, right?\u201d he asked, trying hard not to laugh at the forlorn figure standing in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if I have?\u00a0 What\u2019s it to you?\u201d snapped Joe, his voice hard as steel as he moved towards the table, his fists clenched.\u00a0 Ben shot a look of disapproval at his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, there\u2019s not need to talk like that to your brother!\u00a0 Just sit down and have some breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat without a word, the motion causing him to wince in pain as his head continued to throb, his family aware of the obvious discomfort he was feeling<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his eyes cold and accusing he stared over at Adam, then poured himself a coffee and sat in silence, drinking and waiting.\u00a0 Ben looked over, noticing the dark looks that passed from youngest to eldest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re feeling this bad Joseph, I suggest you delay breaking in those half dozen horses left over from last week till your head clears.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry about me Pa!\u00a0 I can do my job! It\u2019s not as if I haven\u2019t had a hangover before,\u201d responded Joe sarcastically, fighting hard to keep his temper under control.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave Joe an angry look and was about to admonish him, but thought better of it, eager for a quiet beginning to the day.\u00a0\u00a0 Knowing all too well the mood Joe was in, he was keen to avoid any unnecessary confrontation with his youngest at such an early hour.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued to sit in silence, his inner demon willing Adam to say just one word, give him one sly glance.\u00a0 It would be all the excuse he needed to connect his fist with his brother\u2019s chin, regardless of the furor it would certainly cause!\u00a0 To his unhappy, illogical mind it was the only way he figured he could prove himself again to be the man he was, and not the wreck he had felt the previous evening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Breakfast progressed, Joe sipping his coffee while Ben, Adam and Hoss ate their fill and exchanged silent glances, each well aware of the simmering volcano that sat just feet from each of them.\u00a0 Eventually, his plate empty, Hoss turned his head and looked at Joe, eager to cheer up his little brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Joe, you just listen to what old Adam has been up to.\u00a0 Visiting with that there actress, Rosemary Palmer, no less!\u201d he said, a deep chuckle emanating from his throat, \u201cSure is a dark horse, our elder brother, aint he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe visibly stiffened then slammed down his coffee, spilling some onto the clean table cloth.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat Adam does is of no interest to me!\u201d he retorted, a hurt expression shooting across his face as he abruptly rose from the table, pushing his chair back so violently it scraped and fell over towards the sideboard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u00a0 Will you please mind your manners!\u00a0 Sit back down!\u201d yelled Ben, shocked and dismayed at his behavior.\u00a0 Standing at the end of the table, still staring darkly at Adam, Joe could feel his body shaking with anger.\u00a0 \u201cNo thanks Pa.\u00a0 Don\u2019t reckon I like the company round here at the moment!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With that, he turned heel, quickly making for the door and buckling on his gun belt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben yelled, \u201cGet back here this instant!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grabbing his coat and hat, Joe opened the door ignoring his father and slammed it shut behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, Adam and Hoss sat stunned, unable to comprehend Joe\u2019s sudden uncharacteristic behavior.\u00a0 \u201cMust be one hell of a hangover! Wonder what\u2019s got into him?\u201d said Hoss quietly, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can see I need to have a long talk with that young man!\u201d cried Ben in exasperation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat quietly, a frown on his face, feeling slightly hurt by the stinging words and angry look thrown his way by Joe.\u00a0 Something had gotten into his little brother, but for the life of him he couldn\u2019t think what.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few hours later after spending the morning doing the accounts, Adam made his way back to Virginia City to say farewell to Rosemary.\u00a0 As he left the ranch he saw the familiar figure of Cochise in the distance by the corral.\u00a0 He could hear the yelling of the wranglers and the neighing of horses, so was aware Joe would be in the midst of breaking in the remainder promised for the Army.\u00a0 Not the best way to clear a thick head thought Adam, but then his little brother never did things the easy way<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was tempted to go over and see how Joe and his hangover were, see if he had quietened down, but decided to leave it for a few more hours.\u00a0 The mood Joe had been in that morning he was best left alone.\u00a0 Turning away he kicked Sport into a gentle canter, and as the sounds grew dimmer his mind once again concentrated on Rosemary.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She was quite a woman, and certainly lived up to all that had been said about her.\u00a0 But for all her charm, wit, and beauty, Adam sensed she was really a lonely woman, never allowing herself to commit her feelings to one man.\u00a0 She enjoyed the constant adoration of her audience, and was truly married to the theatre.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he arrived in town, the stage was just pulling in.\u00a0 Adam could see Rosemary and her entourage of one waiting at the depot, a small crowd staring with curiosity at the famous actress, who was about to leave their midst.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dismounting, Adam went over to her, and she smiled sweetly as he took her hand and gently kissed it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for coming to say goodbye Adam,\u201d she said, \u201cI wanted to thank you for your wonderful company over the past couple of days.\u00a0 And of course, last night!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cMy pleasure,\u201d he said, staring at her as her eyes flittered up and down the street.\u00a0 \u201cYou looking for anyone in particular Rosemary?\u201d he asked with a slight grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no.\u00a0 Not really Adam.\u00a0 Just hoped I could say goodbye to a \u2026.special friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam raised his eyebrows in feigned surprise.\u00a0 \u201cOh, that special friend,\u201d he said teasing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rosemary looked closely at Adam and gave a sly smile but said nothing.\u00a0 The bags were loaded and Adam assisted Rosemary into the coach, she and her employee the only passengers that day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am so glad to have seen you again Adam.\u00a0 It was certainly a lovely surprise, bumping into you the other day.\u00a0 It never occurred to me you were one of the famous Cartwrights of Virginia City until I met you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA truly fortuitous meeting then Rosemary,\u201d responded Adam, as the driver climbed on board and took the reins.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you have a wonderful time in Europe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh I will Adam, I will,\u201d she said as Adam stepped back onto the sidewalk.\u00a0 \u201cPlease do me a small favor Adam,\u201d she asked, as a malicious smile appeared on her face.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cOf course, what can I do Rosemary?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGive my love to your brother Joe, and say goodbye for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With that the driver yelled and the coach moved off, leaving a perplexed and confused Adam Cartwright staring after it.\u00a0 Joe?\u00a0 Why would she want to say goodbye to Joe?\u00a0 How did she know him?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly, like a bolt of lightening, her words hit him.\u00a0 \u201cJust hoped to say goodbye to a \u2026special friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam leaned back on the stage depot door stunned, the truth slowly dawning on him. Joe!\u00a0 Everything fell into place.\u00a0 The disappearance of his brother most evenings to Virginia City over the past weeks; the late arrival home; the secretive and reflective look on his face.\u00a0 A look that usually meant there was a female involved!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then this morning!\u00a0 Adam closed his eyes feeling sick in the pit of his stomach as he recollected the events of a few hours ago. \u00a0\u00a0The way Joe had stared at him followed by those hurtful words directed towards his elder brother. \u00a0Adam swore under his breath.\u00a0 His little brother had known all too well where Adam was last night!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That damn woman!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a deep feeling of trepidation he remounted Sport and returned the way he had just come, wondering how and what to say.\u00a0 With every mile that passed Adam grew more and more nervous, the eloquent and much read man for once at a loss for words.\u00a0 What could he say?\u00a0 Sorry just seemed so inadequate!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he neared the bend in the road about a mile from the corral he saw the dust cloud of a fast approaching horse. As the rider drew closer he could see it was Tom, one of the ranch hands, who slowed down as he neared Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d he yelled, out of breath, \u201cJoe\u2019s had a bad fall.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna get the Doc,\u201d and with that he spurred his horse on, leaving Adam alone on the road.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Quickly Adam moved towards the corral where he could see a crowd of men surrounding a figure lying prone on the ground.\u00a0\u00a0 As he jumped off Sport and ran towards Joe, he noticed his father was already by his brother\u2019s side gently stroking his son\u2019s hair.\u00a0 Joe was moaning, blood gently streaming from a deep cut on the back of his head, and on his forehead a large bruise had begun to form.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Someone handed Ben a canteen of water, and he began to gently bathe his son\u2019s face, washing away the grime and dirt, and trying to stem the flow of blood from the gaping wound.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow is he Pa?\u201d said Adam, standing behind his father.\u00a0 Ben looked up quickly and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cLooks bad Adam.\u00a0 Seems the horse kicked him hard on the head.\u00a0 Hoss is bringing the wagon to get him back to the house and Tom has gone for the Doc.\u00a0 I knew he should of waited to do this when his head was clearer!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, as he looked down his brother\u2019s body, checking there were no broken bones.\u00a0 All seemed well, his legs and arms undamaged by the heavy fall.\u00a0 The cool, soothing water stirred Joe, who slowly opened his eyes, trying hard to focus on the faces that looked down at him.\u00a0 Eventually he recognised the fuzzy outline of his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he whispered.\u00a0 \u201cMy head hurts something bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust take it easy Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019ve had a bad fall and been badly kicked,\u201d said Ben, continuing to wipe his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a nod of understanding and then closed his eyes again as he tried hard to fight off the feeling of nausea.\u00a0 The bruised forehead began to swell noticeably and Ben and Adam swapped glances as they stared down.\u00a0 Then Joe\u2019s eyes reopened and he looked past his father onto the worried face of Adam.\u00a0 His dark green eyes focused as the two brothers stared at each other, no words passing between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Joe broke the silence in a weak and pained voice as he beckoned his brother to come closer.\u00a0 Ben stood up, moving slightly to allow Adam to kneel closer to Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Adam took hold of Joe\u2019s hand and squeezed it affectionately.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Joe repeated, as he pulled his hand from his brother\u2019s grasp.\u00a0 His voice was barely above a whisper as he continued to stare unforgiving at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI hate you!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 With a final look of contempt Joe closed his eyes and passed into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was unaware of the words passed between his two sons, but could see Adam had turned noticeably pale and his face looked shocked and hurt.\u00a0 Slowly he stood up, staring down at Joe, the impact of what his brother had said stopping him cold.\u00a0 Ben was about to question him when suddenly Hoss appeared in a cloud of dust as he pulled the galloping team of horses to a halt.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s attention then reverted back to his youngest as Joe was carefully carried over and placed in the wagon and then slowly transported back to the ranch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam walked over to his horse and stood for a moment, his head resting on his saddle as he fought hard to keep his composure.\u00a0 His thoughts were filled with the vision of his little brother, lying badly injured, possibly dying!\u00a0\u00a0 A brother who had just said three little words that hurt him more than anything else in his life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Biting hard on his lip, Adam sighed deeply then mounted Sport and quickly followed the wagon as it made its way back to the ranch house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe still lay in a coma-like state after four days.\u00a0 The bump on his head had grown larger as the colored bruise extended to cover his forehead.\u00a0 The deep cut on the back of his head was stitched together by Dr Martin, but not before it had bled extensively, leaving Joe\u2019s face deathly white.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was a worrying and tiring time for all the family, the doctor driving over each day to check Joe\u2019s stitches, with no way of knowing how long he would lay unconscious.\u00a0\u00a0 All Paul could do was place cold compresses on his patient\u2019s swollen forehead and give reassuring smiles to Ben who sat continually by Joe\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Distraught and with a feeling of impotence, Ben wiped the sweat from his son\u2019s body and washed the blood stained hair, all the time talking quietly to the still young man who was oblivious to the gentle and loving touch of his father.\u00a0 His worried eyes continually scanned his son\u2019s pale face, praying for a visible sign from Joe of awareness with his surroundings.\u00a0 Ben only allowed himself the luxury of a few hours fitful sleep in his own bed on the strict understanding Adam or Hoss would tell him of any minute change in Joe\u2019s condition<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though feeling continually exhausted through all his dedicated caring, Ben still noticed something was deeply troubling his eldest son.\u00a0 Adam, the solid, dependable and private man usually kept his feelings and thoughts to himself, but for once he seemed increasingly pensive and edgy and his deep brown eyes uncharacteristically moistened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Recalling Adam\u2019s strange reaction at the corral and with the deep intuitive nature of a loving and concerned father, Ben forced himself downstairs in the early afternoon to sit with Adam, leaving Hoss to watch over the still unconscious Joe.\u00a0 Adam was staring into nothing, his thoughts far away as his coffee grew cold in its cup.\u00a0 Ben gave a cough.\u00a0 \u201cWant to talk about it son?\u201d he asked quietly as he sat down in his chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked up quickly towards Ben, shaken from his reverie.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomething is bothering you Adam, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Want to tell me?\u201d\u00a0 Adam sighed deeply and nodded his head, placing his cup on the table then sinking back wearily into his chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a bit\u2026..well \u2026..awkward Pa.\u00a0 Heaven knows we\u2019ve got enough to worry about at the moment,\u201d he said with a note of reluctance in his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust get it off your chest son,\u201d said Ben in a soft kindly voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stood up and walked to the hearth, looking into the empty grate.\u00a0 He slowly turned to look at his father.\u00a0 \u201cYou remember I told you about Rosemary Palmer Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was silent for a moment, thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I remember,\u201d he said finally, returning his son\u2019s gaze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you remember I said she had a \u2018special friend\u2019 who she entertained in the evenings?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I remember. What\u2019s this about?\u201d asked Ben bemused.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked over his father\u2019s head towards the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cThe day she left on the stage, I found something out,\u201d he said as he walked over to the settee and sat down. \u201cIt was Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was Joe?\u201d asked Ben, totally confused.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe was her special friend!\u00a0 He must have been seeing her for weeks without telling anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes widened.\u00a0 His youngest son and that woman!\u00a0 He shook his head in disbelief. Sometimes he wondered if he knew his youngest son at all!\u00a0 Still seeing a pained look on Adam\u2019s face, Ben gave him a reassuring squeeze on his knee.\u00a0 \u201cYou weren\u2019t to know Adam.\u00a0 None of us knew!\u00a0 That brother of yours has become very tight lipped lately so don\u2019t upset yourself too much!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, don\u2019t you see?\u00a0\u00a0 Joe was obviously totally smitten with Rosemary and then turned up that night and saw I was with her.\u00a0 That\u2019s why he was so mad the other morning!\u00a0\u00a0 His own brother with the woman he had fallen in love with!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and slowly nodded his head.\u00a0 \u201cOf course!\u00a0 Now I understand,\u201d he said slowly, remembering back to the breakfast confrontation of four days ago.\u00a0 \u201cI can see now why he was in such a foul mood!\u00a0 But you know your brother, always wears his heart on his sleeve.\u00a0 He\u2019s still young.\u00a0 He\u2019ll get over it, just give him time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An uneasiness settled for a moment as Adam continued to look downcast and thoughtful.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leaned forward slightly.\u00a0 \u201cIs there something else Adam?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, looking down at the floor unable to meet his father\u2019s gaze. Ben noticed his sad expression so he moved over onto the settee, putting his arm around Adam\u2019s shoulder as if giving his son the strength to go on.\u00a0 Hesitating for a moment Adam finally looked up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn the corral Pa, when Joe was laying waiting for the wagon.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even have a chance to say sorry, to explain, before he told me he hated me.\u201d Adam paused, pained to say the words again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he felt a slight tremor from the body next to him Ben viewed the hurt expression on Adam\u2019s face.\u00a0 Ben shook his head with sorrow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see now why you\u2019re so upset Adam.\u00a0 I really can!\u00a0 But, in the heat of the moment Joe always tends to fly off the handle, say the wrong thing.\u00a0 I am sure he didn\u2019t even know what he was saying,\u201d Ben gave a tight smile, trying to reassure his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut to say I hate you!\u00a0 Do you know how that feels Pa, knowing those could be your brother\u2019s last words?\u201d cried Adam, a note of panic in his voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if he doesn\u2019t come round?\u00a0 What if he\u2026.?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother is going to recover!\u201d said Ben with splendid certainty, cutting off his son\u2019s sentence in a calm and determined voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhat ever the reason, Joe would never hate you. You must know that! It\u2019s just not in his nature. The pair of you have a special brotherly bond and a loving relationship that runs deep.\u00a0 Though Joe feels hurt now, it won\u2019t come between you for long.\u00a0\u00a0 Give him time.\u00a0\u00a0 If\u2026..once he comes round you and he can sort out this misunderstanding. I\u2019m sure of it!\u00a0 Time has a wonderful habit of healing all wounds, especially broken hearts!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam visibly relaxed at his father\u2019s words.\u00a0 \u201cThanks Pa.\u00a0 Guess I just needed to hear you say that,\u201d he said giving Ben a thankful smile.<\/p>\n

Ben viewed his son sympathetically.\u00a0 \u201cYou okay now?\u201d he asked, rubbing his son\u2019s neck affectionately.\u00a0 Adam nodded in silence, stretching out his long legs as he leaned back on the settee and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had better relieve Hoss for a while,\u201d said Ben as he stood up and stared at his son for a few seconds.\u00a0 With a slight sigh he turned and walked towards the stairs, inwardly whispering \u201cJoe will recover!\u201d repeatedly, as he disappeared around the corner of the landing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Left alone once more a much comforted but still slightly uneasy Adam reopened his eyes and stared again into the large fireplace.\u00a0 Minutes later Hoss made his way downstairs, stretching his arms as he noted the sad and thoughtful face of his brother who continued to sit on the settee.\u00a0 As he sunk down into the comfortable leather armchair Hoss rested his head back and closed his eyes, strain and worry etched on his tired face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s thoughts returned to Joe.\u00a0 How he wished he could turn back the clock.\u00a0 What he wouldn\u2019t do to have that day back again and have the chance to refuse Rosemary\u2019s invitation.\u00a0 For a moment his eyes glazed over with memories of happier days spent with his youngest brother, then the painful feeling of guilt swept back over him, and his stomach churned.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, I need to tell you something,\u201d said Adam suddenly, his voice trembling slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAbout time!\u201d murmured Hoss without even opening his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAbout time?\u201d echoed Adam, a quizzical look appearing on his face as he raised an eyebrow and stared over at his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI mean,\u201d said Hoss thoughtfully, \u201cI\u2019ve noticed there has been something niggling you for days.\u00a0 Just been waiting for you to let it out in your own time!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss opened his eyes and eyed Adam, a slight grin appearing on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I can\u2019t fool anyone round here,\u201d commented Adam, returning his gaze with a flicker of a smile, \u201cseems both my father and brother can read me like a book!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss noticed the smile did not extend to Adam\u2019s eyes as he scratched his stubbly chin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been as plain as day you\u2019ve been a little more distracted than usual, so come on brother.\u00a0 What\u2019s so terrible that\u2019s gotten you in such a state?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was suddenly a look in Adam\u2019s eyes that Hoss hadn\u2019t quite expected.\u00a0 A combined look of guilt and pain he had never seen before on his brother\u2019s face and it unnerved him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell Hoss,\u201d said Adam, surprising himself with the note of bitterness in his voice, \u201cI have managed to do something really stupid, and it involves Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 2:<\/p>\n

Two days later Adam and Hoss rode into town at Ben\u2019s insistence to pay bills, order supplies and have a well deserved beer.\u00a0 He felt the change of scenery would do them good, away from the worrying sight of their unconscious brother.\u00a0 While he waited for the doctor who was due to pay a visit that day, Ben settled himself down by his son\u2019s bedside and began to read aloud the latest novel from Charles Dickens.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was during that morning Joe Cartwright finally began to regain consciousness.\u00a0 Occasionally opening his eyes for a few moments, he was unable to focus clearly but was aware of someone sat by his side. He could hear a familiar voice and though at first he could not make sense of what was being said, the reassuring sound of his father\u2019s voice was enough to bring him back into the world of the living.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben noticed out of the corner of his eye that his son was slowly beginning to awaken, and putting down the book, he held onto Joe\u2019s hand as his son finally looked at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome back Joe,\u201d smiled Ben, as Joe rubbed his eyes, still feeling a slight pain that throbbed from the back of his skull over his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over questioningly at Ben. \u201cWhat happened Pa?\u201d he asked in a weak voice, a puzzled expression on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou were kicked while breaking in a horse Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s been over a week now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Footsteps were suddenly heard on the landing and Doctor Paul Martin walked in, smiling as he saw his patient stare up towards him and give him a look of recognition.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing let me in Ben, and not a moment too soon!\u201d he remarked walking over to the bed and placing his bag on the floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like your back with us Joe,\u201d he said as he looked down on his patient, and proceeded to take his pulse.\u00a0 A few moments later he gave a quick smile as he nodded happily.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNothing wrong with your heart Joe.\u00a0 Now, how many fingers can you see?\u201d he asked holding out a tightly clenched fist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe responded quickly in a whisper. \u201cIs this a trick question doc, \u2018cause I don\u2019t see any?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul chuckled softly, \u201cLooks like everything is okay there.\u00a0 Nothing wrong with your eye sight,\u201d he said as he gently checked the stitches on the back of Joe\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy head hurts,\u201d said Joe as he stared up at the doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul nodded, looking closely into Joe\u2019s eyes and feeling the bump that was still visible on his forehead.\u00a0 Nodding with satisfaction, he looked over at Ben who was sitting with a worried frown on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will give you some powders to take away the pain Joe.\u00a0 Once all the swelling has gone down you should feel a lot better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul completed his examination giving both father and son a reassuring smile.\u00a0 Ben breathed a sigh of relief and Joe gazed past his father as the summer sunshine flooded warmth into the bedroom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand Pa,\u201d he said in a weak voice.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s the middle of December! After all that snow we\u2019ve been having why is it so warm now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul and Ben exchanged a mystified look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like you\u2019ve suffered a bit of memory loss Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s July!\u201d replied the doctor as he looked down at his confused patient.\u00a0\u00a0 Still puzzled Joe looked over at Ben for confirmation.\u00a0 Ben nodded as he replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPaul\u2019s right Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s now July. You really can\u2019t remember anything since last winter?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head Joe furrowed his brow.\u00a0 It was as if a dark void filled his brain as he tried hard to piece together the missing months but nothing came through.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry too much Joe,\u201d said the doctor kindly. \u201cThis kind of thing is quite common with head injuries.\u00a0 Sometimes people forget everything from their past.\u00a0 Losing six months is a small price to pay as long as you are going to be well again!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His young patient still looked dubious as he glanced between the two men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour forgotten memory might come back to you sometime Joe,\u201d said the doctor solicitously.\u00a0 \u201cThe slightest little thing may trigger it back, or maybe you will never recover it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t push yourself too hard to remember or you may have extremely painful headaches that could do further damage.\u00a0 Just get plenty of rest, and concentrate on getting better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded a thoughtful expression on his face as his gaze fixed on the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cSo I may never remember?\u201d he asked again, mulling over what had been said.\u00a0 Paul gave a nod of the head, and Joe with a resigned sigh looked over at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHope I haven\u2019t missed too much excitement then?\u201d he joked weakly, coughing and flinching with the pain of a sore and dry throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou want a drink Joe?\u201d asked Ben as Joe continued to swallow painfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease,\u201d muttered Joe in a croaky voice.\u00a0 Ben walked over to the dresser and poured a glass of water, then lifted up Joe\u2019s head while his son sipped the cool liquid.\u00a0\u00a0 Drinking his fill Joe sunk back onto the pillow as he felt his stomach rumble.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAny chance of something to eat?\u00a0 My stomach feels mighty empty.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doc Martin chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cIf my patient is hungry then he must be on the mend!\u201d he laughed as he picked up his bag and took out the powders for Joe\u2019s pain relief.\u00a0 Placing them on the dresser he gave his patient a final look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get Hop Sing to bring up some of his chicken broth.\u00a0 Could smell it when I got here, so he must have anticipated it was going to be needed,\u201d he added as he made for the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose and wandered up to him.\u00a0 \u201cYou really think he will be okay Paul?\u201d asked the anxious father, glancing back at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Ben, Joe will be fine.\u00a0 Probably have a sore head for a while more, though the powders should help.\u00a0 Everything else seems to be functioning as it should.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry too much about the memory loss.\u00a0\u00a0 It may come back, it may not.\u00a0 Either way, Joe will be nearly as good as new soon!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul chuckled, \u201cThat son of yours seems to have more lives than any cat!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave a weak grin back. \u201cYes\u2026.yes he does.\u00a0 Just born lucky, I guess.\u00a0 Thank you Paul, once again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul nodded as Ben gave his old friend a genuinely warm shake of the hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see myself out Ben,\u201d said Paul as he disappeared down the hall, leaving Ben to turn back into the room.\u00a0 He stood for a moment, gazing down at Joe who had succumbed to weariness and was fast asleep once more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head with relief, Ben returned to his chair to await the arrival of his Chinese cook and the hot broth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was early evening when Adam and Hoss returned to the ranch, the wagon filled with supplies and all tasks completed.\u00a0 As they came through the front door, Ben was walking down the stairs carrying the empty soup bowl.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa!\u201d cried Hoss, \u201cSaw the doc in town; he says Joe has come round.\u00a0 How is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A weary looking father smiled and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cHe is doing fine Hoss. Even managed to eat a bowlful of Hop Sing\u2019s soup.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan we go see him?\u201d asked Hoss, eager to see for himself how his brother was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s fallen asleep son.\u00a0 Let him rest and you can see him in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss exchanged glances as they unbuckled their gun belts and Ben continued to the kitchen re-emerging moments later.\u00a0 As he sat down at the dining table Adam and Hoss joined him, Adam taking a nervous look towards the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHas he said anything Pa?\u00a0 Anything about me or Rosemary?\u201d he asked somberly, as Hop Sing brought in a platter of large juicy steaks and potatoes.\u00a0 The wise old cook had instinctively known the improvement in Joe\u2019s condition would give the other three Cartwrights their appetites back after their worrying week of uncertainty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Hoss eyed his dinner once again with delight, he looked over at Adam, noticing his strained looking face.\u00a0 Knowing all too well the guilt Adam had been feeling over the past few days he gave his brother a sympathetic look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cActually Adam, he hasn\u2019t because he can\u2019t,\u201d answered Ben, who proceeded to tell them what had happened when Joe had eventually regained consciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you see Adam,\u201d Ben concluded.\u00a0 \u201cJoe thinks it\u2019s still December.\u00a0 Can\u2019t remember anything from the last few months!\u201d said Ben, as he gratefully tucked into a juicy steak and appreciated tasty food for the first time in days.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat thoughtfully for a moment, enlightenment dawning.\u00a0 \u201cHe doesn\u2019t remember Rosemary then?\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t remember anything that happened between her and me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo son!\u00a0 And I for one am mightily relieved, I can tell you!\u201d answered Ben, his voice showing strain in its tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cI can hardly believe it.\u00a0 Are we going to say anything to him Pa?\u00a0 What if he asks what\u2019s been happening over the past months?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Putting down his fork, Ben looked seriously between his two sons.\u00a0 \u201cWe will tell Joe what\u2019s happened around the ranch and that\u2019s all.\u00a0 \u00a0As God is my witness I am never going to mention to Joe his relationship with that woman, ever!\u00a0 What went on between him and \u2026 that\u2026actress is for him to know, and no one else, so let\u2019s just leave it at that!\u00a0 What he doesn\u2019t know won\u2019t hurt him and I for one hope he never remembers!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a warning glare Ben picked up his fork and continued to eat his delicious meal.\u00a0 If God was brought into the conversation, the two brothers knew their father was serious and meant what he said, so nodding in silent agreement they too began to tuck into their dinner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a full stomach of hot broth and having taken one of the powders left by the doctor, Joe slept deeply and soundly.\u00a0 However, still not utterly convinced Joe could be left unattended; Ben had been prepared to spend another uncomfortable night by his son\u2019s bedside.\u00a0 But at Adam\u2019s insistence he was persuaded to have a good nights sleep in his own comfortable bed, leaving Adam to watch over his brother and sleep in the armchair by the door, a blanket covering him and his head resting on a cushion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the first rays of the following mornings sun drifted in through the bedroom window Joe eventually stirred.\u00a0 At first he lay with his eyes closed, slightly confused and knowing he was not feeling well but not remembering why.\u00a0 Then slowly the events from yesterday came back to him, fitting together like pieces of a jigsaw, and he cautiously moved his hand to his head to feel the tender but discernibly smaller bump on his forehead.\u00a0 For a few minutes his mind wandered as over and over he tried to retrieve the missing memories, but to no avail.\u00a0 His head began to throb and he felt stabbing pains behind his eyes as he recalled his last vision before waking up of a white colored landscape, a cold chilling wind and a grey, snow laden sky and nothing else.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As his headache slowly dissipated he opened his eyes, squinting in the bright light.\u00a0 He was about to look over to the corner chair, half expecting to see his father slouched asleep, when suddenly his bedroom door quietly opened and Ben walked in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMorning son.\u00a0 How\u2019s the head feeling today?\u201d he asked, eying Joe affectionately, relieved to see his son awake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFeels a bit fuzzy Pa,\u201d Joe answered, his eyes fixed on his father as he slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben poured out a glass of water and mixed another powder then handed his son the glass. Joe swallowed the foul tasting medicine in one long gulp and with a grimace handed back the glass to his father who returned it to the dresser.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The large bulk of Hoss suddenly appeared in the door way, and he gave Joe a friendly smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood to see you\u2019re on the recovery trail Joe. How you feeling?\u00a0\u00a0 Remembered anything yet?\u201d he asked in a cautious voice as he walked over and gently sat down on the end of the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFeeling a lot better today brother,\u201d answered Joe quietly as he returned his gaze through blurred vision, trying hard to ignore the slight pain in the back of his head. \u201cStill can\u2019t recall anything since last winter though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then in the corner of the room awoken by the noise, a figure slowly moved, dropping a blanket onto the floor as he sat up.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss threw Adam a thankful smile as he stood stretching his arms and wiping his eyes, tentatively walked towards the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMorning Joe,\u201d said Adam softly, as he watched his little brother\u2019s face uneasily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over quickly as he viewed the man and a worried frown appeared.\u00a0 Startled, Joe grabbed his big brother\u2019s arm in alarm.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d asked Hoss, struck by his brother\u2019s strange look.\u00a0 Joe gave a slight nod of the head towards Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u00a0 What\u2019s he doing in my bedroom?\u201d he asked, hesitatingly, in a half whispered voice.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss shot Joe a puzzled look.\u00a0 \u201cAdam has just been keeping an eye on you all night Joe.\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d responded Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head, clearly confused, and noticed the deep brown eyes were looking at him in a friendly yet slightly nervous way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u2026Adam?\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes narrowed questioningly.\u00a0 \u201cDo I know him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows as he began to grin.\u00a0 \u201cNow stop joshing Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s too early in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was silent for a moment as he saw three pairs of eyes focusing down on him and he swallowed hard as his head began to pound again.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d Joe raised his voice as he looked up at Ben, his eyes conveying a look of utter perplexity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u00a0 You really don\u2019t know who Adam is?\u201d asked Ben incredulously, all the while looking directly onto his young son\u2019s bewildered face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nervously shook his head, wishing he knew more clearly what was going on.\u00a0 He stared over at Adam, noticing how his face suddenly showed sadness and surprise.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I just don\u2019t know you,\u201d he said, sinking back into his pillow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a moment Adam and Hoss stared down on Joe dumbfounded as Ben glanced between his youngest and eldest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Adam is your elder brother,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBr..brother?\u00a0 How come I can\u2019t remember my own brother Pa!\u201d cried Joe, showing obvious signs of distress.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head, Ben shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know Joe.\u00a0 Would seem your memory loss is a little more serious than we thought,\u201d he said, in a worried tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is crazy Joe!\u201d cried Hoss in astonishment.\u00a0 \u201cAfter all the scrapes the pair of you have had together, how can you forget your own brother Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was silent for a while, blinking hard, forcing himself to remember.\u00a0 His life seemed to flash in front of him from the time before his mother died to the snowy days of the previous December.\u00a0 Events from his past that seemed as clear as day, yet always there was a blurry figure, barely visible, slowly disappearing into a foggy haze, irretrievable once it had gone.\u00a0 Was this Adam, his brother?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly he felt a stab of pain between his eyes that made him wince. \u201cDamn!\u201d he groaned, burying his face into his hands as he rocked his body and the agonizing throbbing reverberated inside his head.\u00a0 He began to sweat heavily and an anxious family looked on helplessly as they watched Joe in obvious distress until slowly the pain lessened and Joe raised his head, his gaze fixed on the unremembered face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI remember so many things, its just there\u2019s some sort of foggy haze around a figure, and then it disappears.\u00a0 Just can\u2019t give it a face or a name.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry, real sorry, it\u2019s so hard\u2026\u2026\u201d he stammered, tears forming in his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIts alright Joe\u2026..alright.\u00a0 Just calm down,\u201d said Adam grimly.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t force yourself to try and remember.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have a word with Paul and see what he says is going on.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he can sort it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a few moments eldest and youngest stared at each other, then slowly, resignedly, Joe nodded at the man in front of him; the tall, dark haired man with the deep calming voice who seemed to be totally erased from his memory.\u00a0 His lost brother!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On his next visit a couple of days later, Paul followed Ben to Joe\u2019s bedroom and listened with surprise while his patient told him of his precise memory loss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you have no memories whatsoever of Adam?\u201d he asked in amazement.\u00a0 Joe looked over at his father who was stood by the window, then back to the doctor with tears of frustration welling in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shook his head\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSeems that bang on the head did more damage than we thought.\u00a0 It\u2019s as though you have some sort of selective amnesia.\u00a0 Certainly not a common phenomenon, in fact, I have only heard of a handful of other cases, but those were all\u2026\u2026well, anyway it doesn\u2019t apply in this case.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut why Adam?\u201d cried Joe, as the doctor checked the stitches on his head.\u00a0 Paul glanced over at Ben who shrugged his shoulders in equal perplexity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice raised noticeably, a bewildered expression showing on his still pale face. \u201cI can remember my old school friends, every ranch hand who has worked on the Ponderosa; all my friends who I meet up with in Virginia City!\u00a0 Heck, I can even remember the name of every saloon gal I\u2019ve kissed!\u00a0 But not my own brother!\u00a0 It just doesn\u2019t make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know Joe, it must be very distressing and confusing\u201d said Paul, gazing down with an equally puzzled expression on his face. \u201cUnfortunately, there is no magic potion I can give you.\u00a0 The brain is so complex, and we are just beginning to scratch the surface when it comes to knowing how it works.\u00a0 All I can say is your memory may return, so just let your brothers take care of you and enjoy the rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swore under his breath as his face grew dark.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t stand being patronized!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFor God\u2019s sake!\u00a0 I\u2019ve had two days to think this over yet no-one else seems to understand all the implications,\u201d he snapped, his eyes flashing as he stared over at the doctor.\u00a0 Paul\u2019s eyes widened at the sudden ferocity of Joe\u2019s temper and Ben gave his son a warning glare as he walked over to the side of the bed, pulling up a chair and sitting down, all the time his eyes focused on Joe\u2019s angry face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, this is not helping your recovery,\u201d cried Ben quickly, \u201cJust calm down,\u201d he added, giving him a concerned look.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe held his father\u2019s stare for a few seconds then visibly shuddered with the tension inside him.\u00a0 Taking a deep swallow he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss loves to eat a very large juicy steak.\u00a0 His favorite colour is yellow, he is shy, sensitive, but no man\u2019s fool.\u00a0 He is tolerant of others, loves a good joke, and likes to read my dime novels when he thinks no one notices.\u00a0 And I love him unconditionally.\u00a0 That\u2019s my brother Hoss,\u201d Joe stated, opening his eyes and brushing away a stray tear that had fallen onto his cheek.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know anything about Adam. No likes or dislikes favorites or hates.\u00a0 Everything about him is lost somewhere up here,\u201d Joe pointed to his head as he looked over at his father for a moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell me he is my brother and I should let him take care of me!\u00a0 But it\u2019s like looking at a complete stranger.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know him, have no memories, no feelings towards him, so how do I \u2026can I \u2026.treat him\u2026. love him as a brother?\u201d asked Joe guiltily, suddenly unable to look his father in the eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked on in silence at his son, his eyes showing heartache at what Joe had said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shook his head, knowing all too well the closeness and love that bound the Cartwrights together, through thick and thin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say to you Joe, but I can see what you mean.\u00a0 Feelings of love and respect have to be gained over time and experiences,\u201d\u00a0 There was silence for a moment as the doctor thoughtfully scratched his nose, frowning in sympathy, \u201cYou will have to take one day at a time, get to know Adam again.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t push yourself too hard or you could do your brain more damage!\u00a0 Be patient!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Packing away his bag Paul looked back down on Joe who shrugged his shoulders and remained silent, upset at the distress he had caused his father. \u201cIs there anything else?\u201d\u00a0 asked the doctor gently. \u201cAnything else I can do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded slowly, a glimmer of a smile fleetingly hovering on his face.\u00a0 \u201cYou could let me get out of bed.\u00a0 These four walls are beginning to feel mighty constricting!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a look of compassion for the young man, Paul gave a quiet chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cOkay Joe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see any reason for you not to get up and sit downstairs from now on.\u00a0 But,\u201d said Paul now in a serious tone.\u00a0 \u201cYou just sit!\u00a0 No trying to do any work or get on that horse of yours.\u00a0 Not for a while anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As moistened green eyes suddenly lightened up a shade, Paul looked back sternly, pointing a finger.\u00a0 \u201cI mean it Joe!\u00a0 Take it easy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe will Paul, I\u2019ll make sure of it,\u201d said Ben, who had listened in a worried silence for the past few minutes.\u00a0 He gave his son another warning glance, both men well aware of Joe\u2019s inability to remain still for long.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Paul and Ben left the room, Joe was left to sigh deeply in frustration for he had noticed the sudden look of pain in his father\u2019s eyes. Could he force himself to love Adam as he loved his brother Hoss?\u00a0 Was it possible to regain those deep bonding feelings?\u00a0 He shook his head unhappy and confused, his only solace the fact he could now leave the confines of his bedroom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben followed Paul to his buggy, the worried lines on his face still evident to the caring doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s going to be okay Ben though I admit not remembering Adam is something I had not envisaged.\u00a0 I mean, I could possibly understand it if he and Adam\u2026\u2026\u201d he hesitated shaking his head.\u00a0 \u201cAnyway, as I said, I am sure it may come back to him sometime.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked quizzingly at Paul.\u00a0 \u201cWhat were you going to say Paul?\u00a0 About Adam and Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Climbing on board his rig, Paul didn\u2019t answer straight away as he looked over towards the sound of horses, and suddenly from behind the barn Adam and Hoss appeared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They both gave the doctor a friendly wave and dismounted eager to hear how their little brother was progressing.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s Joe doing Doc?\u201d said Hoss, as he walked over towards the horse and buggy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s doing fine Hoss!\u00a0 Going to allow him to get up, but you keep an eye on him.\u00a0 Don\u2019t want him doing too much, and you know that impulsive nature of his!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nodding in agreement Hoss gave Adam a concerned look then turned back to the doctor. \u201cWhat about this added memory loss?\u00a0 Is there a reason for forgetting Adam?\u00a0 Anything we can do to get it back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul looked down at the three pairs of eyes that stared over at him, giving Adam a look of deep sympathy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI admit I am puzzled about that Hoss. Usually this kind of amnesia is caused by direct physical or emotional trauma.\u00a0 Obviously this doesn\u2019t apply in this case,\u201d he said, taking up the reins.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not as if Joe and Adam had been fighting or arguing bitterly lately, is it?\u00a0 And unfortunately there is nothing I can give him to help his memory return.\u00a0 It\u2019s certainly a mystery and I don\u2019t understand it at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a wave of his hand Paul moved off, oblivious to the silent glances that passed between the father and his two sons.\u00a0 Looks that showed they did indeed understand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat would explain it, wouldn\u2019t it?\u201d said Adam sadly as the three men walked towards the house.\u00a0 Ben glanced over, noticing the look on his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 The sight tore at his heartstrings.\u00a0 They stopped by the bench on the verandah and sat down, enjoying the warm sunshine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat morning Joe was so mad at me, obviously madder than he\u2019s ever been before. Those last words to me must have somehow stuck in his brain, and the trauma from the bang on the head caused him to wipe me from his memory.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou reckon Adam?\u201d cried Hoss incredulously, \u201cyou really think that\u2019s why?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded, \u201cGot to be the only explanation!\u201d\u00a0 He looked over at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI should tell him Pa. Let him know what happened. That might jolt his memory!\u00a0 Better to have him mad than have no memory of me at all,\u201d suggested Adam despondently as Ben began to shake his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s hurting you Adam, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a good idea.\u00a0 Paul says just wait and hope it comes back to him in his own time.\u00a0 It could do more damage than good otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if his memory of Adam never returns Pa?\u201d added Hoss, desperately anxious that the family should return to normal relations.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen Joe will just have to get to know his brother once again and make some new memories,\u201d said Ben calmly. \u201cHowever long it takes!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa\u2026\u201d Hoss began, and then thought better of it.\u00a0 He was far too sensible to argue with his father knowing what was at stake, and so the three men continued to sit in silence, each taking in the fragrant air of the perfumed lonicera.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Since regaining consciousness and leaving the confines of his bedroom, the familiar brotherly relationship between Hoss and Joe re-established itself with ease, their closeness apparent to all as the games of checkers and the light-hearted banter between them filled the ranch with high pitched laughter during the long warm evenings.<\/p>\n

However, try as he might Joe was still unable to piece together the half year just passed or remember the brother lost within the folds of his mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

During the first week, with his family away each day working with the stock, Joe was left to his own thoughts as he sat alone in the ranch house, and he repeatedly made a conscious effort to remember.\u00a0 But each time the headaches would start and the painful throbbing would last, sometimes for an hour or more, making him physically sick and exhausted, so eventually, at both the doctors and his families insistence, he gave up trying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe also watched Adam closely each evening as his elder brother talked and laughed with Ben and Hoss and saw the bond that drew the three men together.\u00a0\u00a0 He willed himself to feel the same and accept and treat Adam as the brother he was, but it was no use.\u00a0 Although he chatted with Adam, shared a joke, to Joe the tall dark haired man continued to remain as if just a visitor, a stranger who continued to leave Joe feeling uneasy and strangely uncomfortable in his presence.\u00a0 For the whole families sake Joe exchanged pleasantries, kept up pretence of acceptance, but slowly and without reason, a new emotion slowly began to grow within him.\u00a0 An emotion, that had the rest of the family known, would have torn them apart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was now a month since the accident and a creaking noise could be heard repeatedly from the old rocking chair on the verandah as Joe rocked awaiting the now weekly visit of the doctor.\u00a0 The bruise and bump on his forehead had disappeared, and his curly hair hid the small scar on the back of his head completely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was another warm summer\u2019s day yet the young man felt gloomy and bored as he sipped cold lemonade and looked out towards the stable.\u00a0 How he looked forward to the moment when he could saddle up Cochise and gallop out in the green meadows of the Ponderosa once again.\u00a0 As he daydreamed a familiar horse and buggy appeared around the side of the barn and Paul Martin waved his hand as he viewed Joe sitting by himself.\u00a0 Joe rose and walked over, taking the reins from the doctor and tying them around the hitching rail.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMorning Joe,\u201d said Paul, as he climbed down and brushed the dust from his trousers.\u00a0 Joe gave him a welcoming smile and pointed towards the verandah.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGot some cold lemonade over there Doc.\u00a0 You want some?\u201d he asked as the two men made their way towards the house.\u00a0 Nodding gratefully, the doctor and Joe sat down and as Joe poured out the lemonade Paul gave Joe a quick glance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou are looking much better Joe.\u00a0 No more headaches?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Handing the glass over Joe shook his head and smiled. \u201cNope!\u00a0 Never felt better,\u201d he said, sipping his drink. \u201cDo tell me I can get back to work Doc?\u00a0 This inactivity sure bores the hell out of me,\u201d he added, a pleading look in his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about your memory Joe?\u00a0 Anything come back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face darkened slightly as he turned his eyes and looked into the distance towards the rising mountains of the majestic Sierra Nevada.\u00a0 He sighed deeply, unconsciously stroking his forehead as he stared into the distance.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 Nothing at all. Winter and spring are a complete mystery and as for Adam\u2026.\u201d his voice trailed to nothing as he shook his head.\u00a0 He looked up at the physician by his side who was staring at him, watching him closely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan I tell you something Doc? In confidence. I\u2019ve just got to talk to someone about this or I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll go mad, but you mustn\u2019t tell Pa\u2026\u2026.or Adam,\u201d Joe asked hesitatingly, his eyes now showing a nervousness and misery that made Paul jump slightly with their intensity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course Joe, you are my patient.\u00a0 Anything told in confidence stays between the two of us,\u201d answered Paul, as Joe fingered his glass, studying it as he rubbed his finger around and around its rim.\u00a0 Joe swallowed hard and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIts about Adam\u2026\u2026.You remember I told you a while back how it was so hard to suddenly have brotherly feelings towards him?\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve been watching him, getting to know him, but, try as I might, much as I want to, I\u2026\u2026I\u2026.\u201d Joe stopped, struggling to get out the words that seemed to stick in his throat.\u00a0 Paul leaned over and gave Joe a reassuring pat on the arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on Joe,\u201d said the doctor kindly, knowing all too well something was deeply upsetting the young Cartwright.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded slightly as he placed his empty glass on the table and then stared down at the floor, unable to look the doctor in the eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know he is my brother, and I have tried, I really have tried to find that brotherly love I should have, for everyone\u2019s sake!\u00a0 Pa told me how much Adam loves me and I know I must have felt the same.\u00a0 He is my elder brother after all, and I looked up to him, even though we seemingly had the odd disagreement.\u00a0 But most families do, don\u2019t they?\u201d asked Joe as he continued to stare down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure they do Joe, all families argue.\u00a0 It\u2019s human nature,\u201d replied Paul, noticing the unmistakable sad tremor in Joe\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded,\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam loves me and I loved Adam. I accept that \u2018cause if that\u2019s what Pa says, then it\u2019s the truth. I know he wouldn\u2019t lie to me.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not what\u2019s tearing at my insides, driving me mad!\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried hard to keep it from the family; wouldn\u2019t want them to know what I was truly feeling\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe paused for a moment, as if hardly believing himself what he was saying.\u00a0 \u201cFor some reason, and God forgive me for saying this about my own kin, for the life of me the only feeling I seem to have towards Adam is a deep rooted dislike, even\u2026\u2026hate!\u00a0 Hear that Doc?\u00a0 I hate my own brother and I just don\u2019t know why!\u201d\u00a0 He sat up stiffly, a sob clutching at his throat as he braced himself for the doctor\u2019s reaction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul raised an eyebrow as he tapped thoughtfully on the table for a minute. \u00a0\u201cHate?\u00a0 That\u2019s quite a strong emotion Joe,\u201d he said, watching Joe\u2019s flushed face.\u00a0 \u201cEspecially towards Adam.\u00a0 You sure that\u2019s what you mean?\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to remember you\u2019ve just had a very traumatic injury.\u00a0 Maybe some \u2018inner demon\u2019 inside your head is just making your emotions feel more intense than usual, because to say you hate your brother, especially a brother you can\u2019t even remember\u2026..well, its just not the Joe Cartwright I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over slightly irritated.\u00a0 \u201cI may have had a bang on the head but it ain\u2019t made me simple!\u00a0 I know the feeling of hate, and that\u2019s what I feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood up quickly and rested on a post, absently picking the leaves of the climbing honeysuckle.\u00a0 \u201cAdam hasn\u2019t done anything to me except show me kindness, sympathy, compassion and a load of patience.\u00a0 And all I can give him back is a feeling of hatred that he obviously doesn\u2019t deserve.\u00a0 Sometimes I see him looking at me in that thoughtful way he does, as if he is staring into my soul and reading my mind and I\u2019m sure he knows what I\u2019m feeling about him.\u00a0 Not that he\u2019s said anything, but, well \u2026\u2026. \u201d Joe sighed deeply, banging his fist into the post in frustration.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I should just leave\u2026..take time away from the ranch and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Doc Martin\u2019s eyes widened in shock and horror at what his patient had suggested, Joe saw his doctor\u2019s worried face, and was unable to keep from cracking a smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m kidding,\u201d Joe assured him. \u201cReally!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul breathed a sigh of relief and shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is such a unique case for me Joe.\u00a0 I can mend broken bones, stitch up cuts, deliver babies, but when it comes to what happens in the brain, I am at a complete loss.\u201d\u00a0 There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment as Joe sat back down in his rocking chair and leaned back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, for the foreseeable future I\u2019m just stuck with this \u2018inner demon\u2019 aren\u2019t I?\u201d he said, resignedly, rocking again and tapping his foot on the floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor nodded his head sympathetically, then the sound of a lone horse could be heard and Ben suddenly appeared, cantering gently into the yard.\u00a0 Dismounting, he walked over to the verandah and shook Paul\u2019s hand, glancing at the downcast face of Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEverything all right Paul?\u201d he asked, looking over at his son.\u00a0 Paul nodded as he too looked at the despondent face of his patient.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe seems to be well and truly fit now Ben.\u00a0 Guess it wouldn\u2019t harm him to get back into the ranch routine again.\u00a0 Might even make him smile a bit more,\u201d he said, as Joe slowly took in his words and a grin appeared on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean I get to ride again?\u201d he asked, his eyes wide, the misery of his lost brother momentarily thrown to the back of his mind.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes Joe!\u00a0 Can\u2019t see it doing any harm now,\u201d answered Paul, relieved to see the once familiar smile back on the young man\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a whoop of delight Joe began to walk towards the stable, then stopped and looked back at Paul.\u00a0 \u201cThanks Doc, for everything,\u201d he said, a knowing look passing between the two men.\u00a0 Paul smiled back and Joe turned, disappearing into the stable, happier than he had felt in a long time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Several weeks had now passed since Joe had resumed normal duties around the ranch.\u00a0 The unwarranted hatred continued to swell up inside him but he tried to hide it, and though the tense situation between eldest and youngest was not ideal, it was accepted by the family as normal until Joe could rediscover his brother once again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over the past weeks Adam too had come to reconcile himself to the fact he was not now in his brother\u2019s memory.\u00a0 It was a painful but understandable truth under the circumstances that Joe would feel pensive and uncomfortable around him and Adam accepted it without complaint.\u00a0 However, although unnoticed by Ben or Hoss, Adam was sure he saw that undeniable look of animosity sometimes when Joe looked at him, and his continuing distant behavior hurt him deeply<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Adam looked over towards the herd of cattle that had spent the summer months grazing on the luscious meadow grass of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 They were now fattened and ready for the ever increasing eastern market, and it would soon be time to send them to the railhead. The strays were being gathered in from the surrounding countryside, and in the distance they could see the familiar sight of a pinto as Joe weaved and dived around the bawling cows. Adam stared hard towards the distant figure of his younger brother thinking back to the previous week.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had found Joe alone in the barn while his brother was grooming Cochise.\u00a0 Sensing his presence, Joe had still ignored him, steadily brushing in long rhythmic strokes as Adam stood watching for a minute or more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI need you to tell me something Joe, and I want you to be completely honest,\u201d Adam had said finally, noting how Joe visibly stiffened as he slowly turned, his eyes meeting those of his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had nodded, frowning slightly but saying nothing.\u00a0 His head had been aching all day, and he just hadn\u2019t the strength to speak or argue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve had a few weeks now to get to know each other again\u2026\u2026.Can you find it in your heart to even like me?\u201d Adam had asked, his eyes never leaving Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had swallowed hard, the question coming out of the blue and leaving him slightly unsure as to what to do or say for a moment.\u00a0 However, he\u2019d decided on the simple truth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he\u2019d replied in a quiet voice, \u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d a guilty expression forming on his face as he\u2019d looked away from the penetrating gaze of his brother.\u00a0 Although not understanding himself the unjustified emotion in his mind, he wanted to say more, but his head was throbbing and the words just wouldn\u2019t come.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Adam had replied brusquely, his usual \u2018poker face\u2019 showing a deep, resigned sadness and hurt. Without another word he\u2019d turned heel and disappeared from view leaving Joe to bite his lip and stem the tears of sorrow that threatened to slide down his face.\u00a0 Much as he\u2019d wanted to run after him and take away the hurtful words, he\u2019d felt as though his boots were made of lead, and he just couldn\u2019t move away from the spot.\u00a0 Gulping away a sob in his throat, and feeling utterly miserable, he\u2019d resumed grooming his horse, his head still aching.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From that moment barely a word had passed between them, each man hardly able to look the other in the eye, the two brothers seemingly at an impasse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good to see Joe fully recovered and back in the saddle,\u201d Ben said, pulling out his canteen and handing it over to Adam.\u00a0 Though there had been a thunderstorm the previous night, it had done nothing to cool the day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaken from his daydreaming Adam swallowed the water gratefully, nodding as he handed it back to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cSure is.\u00a0 Shame his memory hasn\u2019t returned though,\u201d\u00a0 he said bitterly as Ben took a swig of water then recorked his canteen.\u00a0 Ben looked over quickly, noting the tone of his son\u2019s voice.\u00a0 The strained relationship between the two brothers was now beginning to tell on all the family, Ben all too aware there was more to it than Joe just not remembering his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe Joe not remembering is really a godsend,\u201d said Ben hopefully, unaware of the conversation between the two brothers the week before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think so Pa?\u00a0 I\u2019m not so sure,\u201d replied Adam, his voice showing strain and anguish in its tone.\u00a0 \u201cI still think we should tell him about Rosemary and that day of the accident.\u00a0 If nothing else it would make me feel a whole lot less guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared, his eyes questioning his son\u2019s statement.\u00a0 \u201cGuilty Adam?\u00a0 Why do you persist in thinking you are guilty of anything?\u00a0 If it hadn\u2019t been you, Rosemary would of probably found someone else that night, and you had no way of knowing Joe had been involved with that\u2026\u2026..woman!\u201d\u00a0 Ben practically spat out the words through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know Pa, I know,\u201d reflected Adam, \u201cBut I still have a feeling Joe would find it easier to remember me if he knew what had gone on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut at what cost Adam?\u201d cried Ben, a note of concern in his voice.\u00a0 \u201cFor once I truly believe ignorance is bliss! You saw how he suffered so much when he tried to remember.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t risk doing him permanent harm by forcing the truth on him that the woman he loved\u2026.. or should I say thought he loved\u2026\u2026was unfaithful\u2026\u2026\u2026.especially as it was with his own brother!\u00a0 Some things are better left unsaid, regardless!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just hope you\u2019re right,\u201d muttered Adam under his breath as the two men turned their horses around and headed back towards the ranch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled Cochise up to a stop and looked over as the two horsemen disappeared into the distance.\u00a0 He recognized his father and Adam and was tempted to race over and accompany them back to the ranch, but he decided against it.\u00a0 After the altercation with Adam in the barn he felt it better to stay away from his brother as much as possible, for everyone\u2019s sake. \u00a0He wished he had the company of Hoss, but Chub had gone lame and his big brother was spending most of the day tending to the swollen leg that needed constant attention.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Never before had Joe felt so lonely.\u00a0 His head had ached on and off for the past week, though he had kept it from everyone, and now, feeling hot and his throat dry, the thought of a cool beer and company in the Silver Dollar saloon became an attractive option.\u00a0 With a few days to go before the cattle drive there was still plenty of time to locate the few stragglers hiding in various gullies and ravines, so Joe, throwing caution to the wind, turned his horse and headed towards Virginia City.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he neared his destination he began to notice an acrid smell in the air, and a huge column of smoke could be seen drifting up into the sky.\u00a0 He kicked Cochise on and was suddenly met with the sight of the \u2018White House\u2019, its walls now thick with black scorching, its wooden roof gone, and the Virginia City Fire Department wagon slowly pulling away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without even thinking Joe cantered up the narrow lane towards the once imposing building as though it were second nature, shuddering as a sudden feeling of d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu hit him.\u00a0 Coming to a halt, he noticed someone he knew well was also looking at the smoldering ruin.\u00a0 \u201cHi Mitch.\u00a0 What\u2019s happened here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mitch Devlin spun round and smiled, \u201cHi Joe.\u00a0 Quite a mess ain\u2019t it!\u201d he said walking over to his old friend, \u201cSeems it got struck by lightning during that storm last night.\u00a0 Fire Department couldn\u2019t do a thing to stop it going up in flames.\u00a0 Shame, real shame.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe dismounted and stood with Mitch, staring up at the charred wood, the blackened walls, his eyes slowly making their way to the upstairs where a large window and balcony had once been.\u00a0\u00a0 Rubbing the back of his head which was aching even more, he studied the blackened window frame intently, screwing his eyes in the bright sunshine.\u00a0 A sudden feeling of familiarity flooded through his mind as the detail of every room became clearly defined.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood job no one was living here,\u201d said Mitch as he viewed the stricken building.\u00a0 \u201cNever did get to see inside.\u00a0 Wonder what it was like?\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was very ornate, lots of statues and portraits, fancy carpets,\u201d answered Joe without thinking as he continued to stare at the upstairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally Joe?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t know you\u2019d been in there?\u201d\u00a0 Mitch gave his friend a questioning look.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBet the master bedroom was a sight, especially for the likes of that actress who stayed here last spring.\u00a0 What was her name now\u2026..?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRosemary Palmer,\u201d answered Joe immediately. \u201cAnd the bedroom was pink with satin sheets on the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mitch turned on his friend in amazement.\u00a0 \u201cNow how do you know that Joe?\u201d he asked, a deep grin appearing on his face.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to tell me you came calling on Miss Palmer next,\u201d he said with a chuckle as he turned away and walked over to his horse.\u00a0 Mounting, he waved a hand then left, leaving Joe to stare after his friend as he disappeared from view.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe began to shake uncontrollably, taking hold of his saddle to steady himself as Mitch\u2019s words haunted him.\u00a0 How did he know?\u00a0 Continuing to look upwards, thoughts and recollections that had been hidden away for so many months suddenly came together in a jumbled rush of sounds, sights and feelings.\u00a0 Christmas; the deep snows of January and February; the first sign of spring in March; Easter in April;\u00a0 then May.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May!\u00a0 In May he met Rosemary Palmer!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s heart skipped a beat as the memory of his former lover flooded over him. \u00a0He recalled she had never actually said she loved him, and he felt momentarily saddened to think she must have left without a thought for the young man who provided such an entertaining diversion from her boring routine, obviously forgetting him in an instant. But Joe could still see her in his minds eye, laughing, smiling, gazing at him as they laid together after their passionate love making.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He thought he\u2019d loved her, had lost his heart to her, but it wasn\u2019t real love.\u00a0 He could see that now.\u00a0 It was just the love of a young man keen to prove his worth as a lover and eager to lose the mantle of inexperience.\u00a0\u00a0 Realising his folly, Joe chuckled and smiled softly at his foolishness.\u00a0 What a tale that would be!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then, as he continued to stare at the blackened shell, he recalled his last evening outside this house.\u00a0 The pit of his stomach suddenly churned as he remembered Rosemary laughing in the upstairs bedroom and a horse tied by the back door.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s horse.\u00a0 Adam!\u00a0 He frowned, the smile on his face frozen as he clenched his fists and screwed his eyes shut.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh God,\u201d he groaned.\u00a0 At last he remembered his lost brother!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe staggered slightly recalling with such pristine clarity that hung-over morning and the overwhelming desire to connect his fist with Adam\u2019s chin.\u00a0 The sensation of fear as he was thrown through the air and the painful agony as a horse\u2019s hoof connected with his skull made him wince involuntarily. Joe could also see, as though in front of him now, the face of his brother and the look in Adam\u2019s eyes when he had said, \u2018I hate you!\u2019 before losing consciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The shock of instantly recalling so many painful details left his whole body shaking as he stepped back, his now opened eyes never leaving the bedroom window.\u00a0 The wound of rejection and humiliation caused by Adam\u2019s actions suddenly opened up once more, tearing at his insides.\u00a0 He shook his head in anger as the memories knitted together.\u00a0 Vaulting onto his horse and with all thoughts of a cold beer forgotten, Joe kicked Cochise into a gallop, his only desire to return to the Ponderosa and confront his brother!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Adam rested their arms on the top bars of the corral by the barn and looked at the two dozen fine brood mares that milled around, having only arrived the day before.\u00a0 After being branded they would be let out onto the vast open pastures of the Ponderosa to join the ever growing herd of horses that roamed free in the lush green meadows.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both men, unknowingly, were thinking of Joe and his reaction on their arrival. \u00a0As the family looked on, he\u2019d happily guided his experienced hands over the legs and chests of the well built animals, nodding with approval at each and every one, impressed by the quality of the horseflesh.\u00a0 When told he had been the one to choose them on his first sole visit to the Bannan ranch many weeks before, his mood had changed slightly.\u00a0 Leaving his father and brothers to look over the new stock, he\u2019d headed off into the house, his head throbbing as he shook his head in bewilderment and murmuring frustrated expletives under his breath at his inability to recall anything from such an important trip.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMighty fine animals,\u201d said Ben finally, removing his hat and wiping beads of sweat from his forehead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGoing to give us some quality stock over the years,\u201d Adam answered, \u201cpity Joe can\u2019t recall choosing them.\u00a0 It upset him yesterday, more so than he let on I reckon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed deeply and nodded in silent agreement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPhew, this weather is too hot for me today.\u00a0 I\u2019m going in for a cool down and a cold drink,\u201d he remarked as he turned away and headed for the house. \u00a0Stopping he glanced back at his son who continued to look at the horses.\u00a0 \u201cYou are joining me Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked over and gave a slight smile, \u201cIn a minute Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just wait for Hoss to finish with Chub.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, then resumed his walk towards the house and soon disappeared through the front door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam returned to gaze into the corral, his mind wandering as he thought hard about his little brother and the gulf that was widening between them.\u00a0 He knew his father had noticed and was worrying about them both, wanting to restore the true brotherly bond they had always shared, but not knowing how.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was in the middle, torn between them both, not wanting to take sides and always trying to bring them together but never succeeding. \u00a0The whole situation was getting more and more out of hand, with no sure way of sorting itself out.\u00a0 Adam looked up into the sky and cursed the day he had laid eyes on Rosemary Palmer!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly from behind the barn Joe appeared galloping hard, pulling up Cochise and dismounting within a hairs breath of the corral fencing.\u00a0 Adam jumped over in surprise at the sight of his brother, and was about to admonish him for his reckless riding when he caught the look on Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s eyes were dark as they stared over, his body tense, giving the appearance of a taut spring about to snap.\u00a0 Clearly, something was troubling him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? \u00a0What\u2019s wrong?\u201d asked Adam puzzled, as he looked into angry green eyes.\u00a0 For a few seconds nothing was said, both brothers standing motionless while Joe tussled with his inner demon.\u00a0\u00a0 Slowly, the slightest of smiles appeared in the corner of his mouth, and before Adam knew what was happening Joe\u2019s fist connected with his brother, sending him down in a heap onto the hard dirt floor, his hat flying in the opposite direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood silently, clenching his fist, as Adam began to rub his bruised chin and looked up in bewilderment following the unprovoked attack.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell was that for?\u201d he yelled angrily, as a drop of blood from his cut lip ran down his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve remembered everything,\u201d Joe said abruptly, his voice hard as his eyes blazed fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know me again?\u201d asked Adam incredulously.\u00a0 Joe nodded silently as both brothers held each others gaze with equal coldness for a moment, and then Adam fell back on his elbows as the implication of Joe\u2019s statement sunk in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve also remembered that night at the \u2018White House\u2019 haven\u2019t you?\u201d he asked, his anger now tempered with concern.\u00a0 Joe nodded again but the expression in his eyes clearly showed the hurt he still felt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know Joe.\u00a0 I had no idea about you and Rosemary,\u201d said Adam his voice full of remorse.\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t until she was leaving town I realised you and her had been together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf I thought for one minute you\u2019d known you would be nursing more than a sore chin,\u201d replied Joe bitterly as he continued to look down on his brother, flexing his fingers subconsciously. \u00a0\u201cThat doesn\u2019t bother me now though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why did you hit me?\u201d asked a confused Adam as he wiped his sleeve across his bloodied mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI guess it was the voice of my bruised ego wanting its own back.\u00a0 I felt humiliated and a fool that night Adam,\u201d said Joe, an aggrieved expression still showing on his face. \u00a0Adam sighed deeply, acknowledging the pain his young brother must have felt and braced himself, waiting for perhaps more of Joe\u2019s volatile temper to become exposed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A minute passed by yet time seemed to stand still for Joe as his forgotten memories from years past flooded into his head; memories of a loving elder brother who had cared for him, protected him and loved him all his life.\u00a0 As if by magic, his anger slowly evaporated away leaving brightness in his eyes that betrayed his true feelings for Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay?\u201d he asked finally with a concerned look, breaking the eerie silence between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d answered Adam momentarily thrown.\u00a0 Joe almost looked and sounded like his little brother again.\u00a0 Had he heard him right?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGive me your hand brother,\u201d said Joe simply, as he outstretched his arm.\u00a0 Adam considered for a moment then gripped Joe\u2019s hand and he pulled him up, the two men finally standing inches apart.\u00a0 At long last the brotherly bond was secured.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Resting his back on the corral fence, Joe glanced over to the barn, his heart suddenly heavy with sorrow. \u201cSometimes it is too easy to lose sight of the people who are truly important in your life.\u00a0 I need to apologize Adam for what I said on the morning of my accident, and in the barn last week.\u00a0 I could never hate you, or dislike you.\u00a0 It must have caused you a lot of anguish, and for that I am sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hesitated for a moment, swallowing hard, \u201cYou\u2019re my brother and I love you, you do know that?\u201d he asked, slightly embarrassed at the turn in their conversation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Realising his discomfort Adam put out his hand and gave his brother a gentle squeeze on the arm.\u00a0 \u201cI do now Joe.\u00a0 If I had only known you and her\u2026..if I had known she meant so much to you\u2026\u201d started Adam but Joe shook his head and put his forefinger to his lips.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I did love her, in my own way, but it wasn\u2019t lasting love.\u00a0 I know that now,\u201d said Joe. \u201cBesides, she was too old for me, and a little too intelligent for you brother,\u201d he quipped giving Adam his most winning smile as he began to chuckle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam too began to chortle, relieved the tension between them was finally ended, and the two men grinned at each other in brotherly companionship.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At that moment Ben came out and walked towards them, noticing the swollen lip on his eldest.\u00a0 \u201cAdam?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with your mouth son?\u201d he asked, as another drop of blood oozed out and dripped down his chin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a slight cough, \u201cOh, I hit him Pa,\u201d he confessed as he looked down into the dirt, then bent over and picked up his brother\u2019s hat, dusting it off nonchalantly.\u00a0\u00a0 A shadow of a frown appeared on Ben\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou hit your brother! Why Joe?\u201d he asked, glancing between both sons who were both trying hard to keep straight faces.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Joe recalled a line from his father\u2019s favorite hymn, \u201cOh, he was lost Pa,\u201d answered his youngest, a huge grin suddenly appearing on his face as he passed the hat over to his brother who secured it firmly on his head. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cBut now am found,\u201d added Adam quickly, both brothers catching each others gaze in mutual understanding.\u00a0\u00a0 Then they began to laugh, collapsing into fits of giggles as Ben looked on totally bemused until suddenly it dawned on him!\u00a0 The unmistakable look that passed between eldest and youngest meant only one thing.\u00a0 Somehow Joe had finally regained his memory!\u00a0 His lost brother was lost no more!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss walked out of the barn, eager to see why his two brothers, with hardly a word to say to each other, were now laughing hysterically.\u00a0 The sight that hit him produced a huge smile of understanding as the big man watched in amusement.\u00a0 Then the mood of the moment caught hold of both Ben and Hoss and soon all the Cartwright clan were holding their sides as loud contagious laughter filled the air, a sound so sadly missing for far too long.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Later that evening Adam and Joe sat on the verandah, both eager to re-establish their brotherly bond as they chatted amicably, recalling the past and the woman who had come between them.\u00a0 Eventually Joe asked his brother a question that had been haunting him since his memory returned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, did Pa know about me and Rosemary?\u201d he asked in a half whisper as he looked behind him.\u00a0 Ben never mentioned anything to do with her, but it still left Joe slightly nervous awaiting his father\u2019s predictable wrath.\u00a0 Adam laughed as he nodded, \u201cOh yes little brother, Pa knows all about your \u2026\u2026.erm\u2026\u2026..nights out in Virginia City!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grimaced, \u201cGuess Pa will be having a quiet word with me then,\u201d he said with a shrug of his shoulders, preparing himself for the talk about morals and the endless chores that would no doubt now come his way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShouldn\u2019t worry too much on that score Joe.\u00a0 I seem to remember Pa promising to God he would never say a word about her to you, and I aim to remind him and make sure he keeps his word!\u201d he said, giving his brother a knowing wink.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally Adam?\u201d asked Joe thankfully, a gleam of hope appearing in his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave a nod of assurance, \u201cThat\u2019s what elder brothers are for Joe!\u00a0 Just don\u2019t let it happen again, at least, not for a while! \u00a0I don\u2019t think I could take the stress or hold off Pa a second time!\u201d he said and the two brothers began to laugh together again, their voices drifting up towards the twinkling stars above.<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: An accident leaves Joe unable to remember one man.<\/p>\n

Rated: K\u00a0 Word Count: 18210<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":11260,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,41],"tags":[14,16],"class_list":["post-2358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":4177,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/normal_TQoM2-JC11.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10754,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10754","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":0},"title":"The Sound and the Fury (by sandspur)","author":"sandspur","date":"March 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: It's brother against brother, Cartwright style! Revenge is not a dish best served cold--it's best served to the sound of the cannon! Rating: K\u00a0 (1,160 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Cannon-fire.jpg?fit=575%2C383&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Cannon-fire.jpg?fit=575%2C383&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Cannon-fire.jpg?fit=575%2C383&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16021,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=16021","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":1},"title":"We Done Our Share (by BettyHT)","author":"BettyHT","date":"March 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"SUMMARY: \u00a0My entry for the March 2018 poetry challenge -- It's a little discussion among the brothers about loves lost which is spoken in three voices. rating = PG13 \u00a0 \u00a0word count = 282","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=9"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/three-brothers.jpg?fit=300%2C284&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14370,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14370","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":2},"title":"Houston, We Have a Problem on the Ponderosa (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"January 1, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0There's a problem, and only Houston can help the Cartwrights. Rating: \u00a0T \u00a0(1,100 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Crossover"","block_context":{"text":"Crossover","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2162,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2162","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":3},"title":"Shelter (by pony)","author":"pony","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0\u00a0Adam and Joe Cartwright are lost in a blizzard. Their only hope ... shelter. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K (1,390 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15871,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15871","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":4},"title":"Never, Ever Mess With His…..? (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"January 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary - Why is Adam in the dirt at Hoss' feet?\u00a0 Hoss is not going to like the answer.\u00a0 Rating - K, WC - 823","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Adam-on-his-back-The-Ape.png?fit=620%2C470&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Adam-on-his-back-The-Ape.png?fit=620%2C470&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Adam-on-his-back-The-Ape.png?fit=620%2C470&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12750,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12750","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":5},"title":"A Modern Cartwrights Story #3 – A Quarter\u2019s Worth of Glory: Joe in the Infernal Machine (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"January 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Headlines ripped from the daily newspaper in this modern era tale of the Cartwrights. 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