{"id":2390,"date":"2014-04-22T10:39:36","date_gmt":"2014-04-22T14:39:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2390"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:13:27","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:13:27","slug":"aftermath-of-a-hanging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2390","title":{"rendered":"Aftermath of a Hanging (by Dodo)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span>A What Happened Instead for The Gamble.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe escapes from Alkali and heads towards Virginia City to fetch help.\u00a0 But what if he never got there?<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span> T\u00a0 (37,450 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Aftermath of a Hanging<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 1:<\/p>\n

Summary:\u00a0 Set up by the local Sheriff and two other men, Ben Cartwright and his three sons are falsely accused of murder and bank robbery in the town of Alkali.\u00a0 After a hastily arranged trial in the saloon they are pronounced guilty as charged and as the Judge sentences them to hang the next morning a fight ensues and Joe throws himself through a window, steals a horse and manages to escape.\u00a0 A posse is sent after him but by a spot of trick riding he fools his pursuers and gets away, racing at breakneck speed towards Virginia City to find help . . . \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bent down low over his horse\u2019s neck Joe kept looking back anxiously to check the law hadn\u2019t seen through his deception and were following him with all guns blazing.\u00a0 But to his intense relief each time the trail was empty for as far as he could see and the only sound was the clattering of hooves echoing dully beneath him on the hard dirt track.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After running high on adrenaline since escaping from Alkali Joe suddenly became aware of a vaguely familiar painful sensation; one he\u2019d experienced a couple of years before when he was shot by a murderous member of a gang led by Hoss\u2019 Uncle Gunnar.\u00a0 He looked down and as the tell tale sign of a warm flow of blood ran down his arm and soaked into the leather pommel of the saddle and mane of his mount he realised he must have been hit by one of the posse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But just hoping the injury wasn\u2019t too serious Joe urged his horse even faster until he approached a fork in the road where he knew the left trail meandered for miles across vast flat meadowlands towards Virginia City and beyond.\u00a0 It was a route he\u2019d often taken when herding Ponderosa cattle with his brothers, but with every second counting he ignored the safer but longer option and instead turned in the opposite direction towards home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Within minutes the land tilted in an unforgiving climb, the road narrowing crazily with a deep forming gorge falling away to one side.\u00a0 It was a trail once popularised by hopeful prospectors during the gold rush of \u201949 and used in an attempt to take miles and days off their journey towards the promised land of the Californian gold fields.\u00a0 But with many wagons, mules and men slipping and sliding and ending up smashed and dead at the bottom of the ravine, the route had soon been abandoned and wisely left unused for several years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing its history and had there been no urgency in his flight Joe would have reigned in to a more cautious gait at this point or even turned back.\u00a0 But for once without any thought of safety he continued along the shortcut at an alarming rate and what happened next was totally unexpected and fatefully left him with no chance of reacting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Failing to notice the sky growing ominously dark as he caught up with the tail end of a localised storm, all of a sudden without warning a rogue lightning bolt zigzagged through the air and a loud ear-splitting rumble of thunder echoed in its wake.\u00a0 Made wild by the frenzied dash and unexpected sight and sound from above the horse squealed out in fear and shied suddenly to the side, pitching its unprepared and weakened rider unceremoniously over the edge of the steep sided ravine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Terrified but unharmed the animal bolted back along the trail the way it had come leaving Joe to tumble helplessly head over heels in an avalanche of shale and mud before crashing to a stop.\u00a0 But with no hat for protection when his head slammed hard on the sharp edge of a small boulder a red hot pain shot into his brain and darkness settled around him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A short while later as he woke in a daze Joe tried to work out what had just happened.\u00a0 He vaguely recalled falling and abrasions to his face and hands stung like hell but lacking any sense of purpose or urgency he closed his eyes again in an attempt to sleep away an unusually pulsating throbbing in his arm and head and the unsettling desire to throw up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But then the memory came back, clear and sharp, and Joe jerked awake from the peaceful pain-free haven he longed to visit as the terrifying image of his father and brothers hanging by the neck appeared in his mind\u2019s eye. He let out a cry of anguished panic.\u00a0 They\u2019d be depending on him to fetch help!\u00a0 But he had no horse\u2026no idea which way to go\u2026so little time!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Barely aware of the blood trickling down his arm Joe pushed up on unsteady legs, and with no sense of direction he began staggering along a faint animal trail which followed the course of a fast flowing stream.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a nightmare to keep moving and at times he\u2019d stop, gasping for breath, disorientated and confused. \u00a0But then the fuzziness would clear and as he remembered the fate of his family lay in his hands with a fresh surge of determination he\u2019d force himself to continue on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However as the sun began slowly sinking out of sight Joe finally fell to the ground, unable to find the strength to take another step.\u00a0 Lost in a world that was neither conscious nor fully unconscious he lay unmoving for several minutes then heard a faint rustle in the undergrowth and in the distance the murmur of faraway voices, the sound of gunshots and the thud of bullets in the ground near his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A single thought flashed into his befuddled mind. The posse!\u00a0 They must have followed him after all and were closing in to finish him off!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tensing at the sound of footsteps running through the brushwood towards him Joe tried to push himself up in an attempt to get away, but with a feverish perspiration clinging to his face combined with bone-deep fatigue and loss of blood he sank back down, going no where fast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The realisation his father and brothers would be dead by next sunup and it would be his fault for not finding help was more than Joe could live with – better he breathed his last where he lay.\u00a0 And with his head now pounding like a drum and once more unable to make sense of where he was or why Joe pitched for a second time into a black abyss of guilt-ridden yet merciful unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sun was still low in an eastern sky and the pungent smell of wood smoke from a campfire was the first thing Joe recognized when he eventually came round.\u00a0 He could see he was lying by the side of an old prairie schooner and warmed by a couple of coarse woollen blankets covering him from head to toe.\u00a0 A number of hobbled mules were grazing a few yards away and he struggled to sit up, only to fall back dizzily with a groan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Daniel, come on over here!\u00a0 Looks like all your doctoring worked!\u201d a deep voice called out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was the sound of speedy movement and before Joe realized what was going on three dark-haired strangers crowded around, gazing down curiously at him.\u00a0 Joe stared back groggily with panic-filled apprehension.\u00a0 At first glance he could see they were men in their early thirties, muscular in appearance with bristly unshaven faces and clothes grimy, all carrying long barrelled revolvers in the belts of their faded and mud splattered pants.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As his imagination raced apace fear crawled up Joe\u2019s spine and he instinctively went for his gun, only to find his left hip was bare.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One of the men who seemed to be the unofficial spokesman of the group noted his unease and squatted down by his side.\u00a0 \u201cEasy young fella, we don\u2019t mean you any harm. If we\u2019d wanted to hurt you we could have done it long since.\u00a0 My name\u2019s Daniel and these good for nothings are old friends of mine, Henry and Sam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two weather-beaten but friendly faces beamed good-naturedly over Daniel\u2019s shoulder and Joe let out a long apologetic sigh as he realized his first impression of the men had been undeserving. \u201cSorry. I\u2026I\u2019ve got me a throbbing headache and can\u2019t seem to think straight at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel nodded understandingly and leaned forward to press a hand to Joe\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 \u201cWell you\u2019re not fevered up any more so that\u2019s a good sign,\u201d he confirmed then straightened and walked towards the campfire.\u00a0 \u201cReckon you could do with a stiff drink to clear out the cobwebs but seeing as we\u2019re clean out of whiskey it\u2019ll have to be black coffee.\u00a0 Will that do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now feeling no threat Joe bobbed his head slightly.\u00a0 He was helped to a sitting position and with one of the blankets folded and placed against the wagon wheel his back was rested on it.\u00a0 Daniel returned and pressed a tin mug in his slightly trembling hand and three pairs of eyes watched patiently as Joe drank his fill.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve got leftovers from last night\u2019s supper heating on the fire. Do you think your stomach can take any?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As if on cue Joe heard an inner grumbling.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I guess I could risk some,\u201d he agreed hesitatingly and again within moments he was using a small ladle to spoon surprisingly tasty rabbit broth into his mouth.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t take long to demolish what had been placed in front of him and Henry took the empty bowl from his hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you feel now?\u201d Daniel asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee then sat down by the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his insides pleasantly warmed and filled Joe managed a grateful nod.\u00a0 \u201cMuch better thanks and my headache seems to be easing already.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam dropped down to sit crossed legged beside him and rolled out a cigarette.\u00a0 \u201cWant one?\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head Joe looked around at the sprawling unfamiliar terrain and a confused frown which puckered his forehead didn\u2019t go unnoticed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re wondering where you are and why you\u2019re stuck with us, ain\u2019t no big mystery,\u201d Sam said as he struck a match on the heel of his boot and lit up then stared at the young man by his side through a haze of smoke.\u00a0 \u201cYou see those hills in the distance?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Following his gaze Joe nodded as Sam paused for a moment to take a long drag of tobacco. \u201cThat\u2019s the Utah border and Henry found you a couple of days back while he was hunting game for supper.\u00a0 You\u2019d been shot but luckily the slug had gone clean through your arm so Daniel set out straightaway to stem the bleeding and you\u2019ve been travelling with us ever since, just sleeping a feverish sleep till a few moments ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShot?\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face reflected surprise and puzzlement at this news and suddenly aware of tightness around his arm he turned his head to look.\u00a0 Sure enough a length of unbleached calico was bound securely above his right elbow and a thin layer of encrusted blood covered a small hole in the sleeve of his jacket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour shirt was too messed up to keep but Henry donated his Sunday best for you to wear,\u201d Daniel told him with an apologetic grin.\u00a0 \u201cAnd there was a swelling on the side of your head the size of a goose egg but it\u2019s been slowly going down and I\u2019m guessing it could well be the reason for any headache you suffer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still looking slightly bewildered Joe tentatively fingered a raised bump in his hair which was tender to the touch.\u00a0 \u201cReckon you\u2019re right,\u201d he agreed with a slight grimace.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m much obliged to you all for what you\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel took a long swallow from his mug.\u00a0 \u201cIf you think you\u2019re up to it you mind telling us how you managed to get yourself in such a state?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was about to answer when a chill crept up the nape of his neck and his expression suddenly changed to one of alarm and confusion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel exchanged a worried glance with Sam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong mister?\u00a0 You feel the need to puke after Henry\u2019s stew?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willing himself to stay calm Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cTruth is I don\u2019t remember what happened to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou saying you can\u2019t bring to mind how you got shot or banged your head?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe met Sam\u2019s slightly sceptical gaze, stifling the urge to scream out in frustration and panic. \u201cIt\u2019s worse than that. Feels more like there\u2019s a heavy curtain in my head, blanking out everything from before I woke up.\u00a0 Any family, home, friends\u2026.don\u2019t remember nothing.\u201d\u00a0 He paused and took a deep swallow.\u00a0 \u201cHell!\u00a0 I can\u2019t even tell you my own name!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But then without warning one memory seemed to unexpectedly leap from the depths of Joe\u2019s brain.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s one thing\u2026I think\u2026I\u2019m sure at some point I was being chased\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Leaning casually against the wagon Henry suddenly stiffened and began stroking the butt of his pistol in a menacing fashion. \u201cBy Indians?\u201d he interrupted as his eyes narrowed to vengeance-hungry slits.\u00a0 \u201cYou reckon you could have been trying to outrun a bunch of no-good, scalp-loving Indians?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost immediately his personality had changed; no longer amiable and quietly spoken but a man filled with hate and Joe threw a worried glance towards Daniel.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHenry\u2019s ma, pa and kid brother were killed in front of him by an Apache raiding party when he was just twelve years old,\u201d he told Joe by way of explanation.\u00a0 \u201cHenry was left for dead and he\u2019s always itching for an excuse to settle the score.\u00a0 But even though I keep telling him there ain\u2019t any Apaches this far north, he won\u2019t listen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked over at Henry uncomprehendingly.\u00a0 \u201cYou still want revenge after all these years?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t you?\u201d Henry answered quietly as he pulled a well-worn bandana from around his neck to reveal a faded but unmistakable scar left after a knife had been slashed across his throat from ear to ear.\u00a0 Joe sucked in a sharp breath at the gruesome and unexpected sight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief uncomfortable silence as Henry wrapped the kerchief back around his neck then Joe let out a despondent sigh.\u00a0 \u201cLike I said, I honestly don\u2019t remember who was after me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam\u2019s eyes glinted mischievously.\u00a0 \u201cReckon it must have been a posse.\u00a0 Bet you held up a bank and got away with wads of banknotes stuffed in your jacket pocket!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd just how could he have stolen from a bank seeing as he didn\u2019t have a gun or a horse when we found him?\u201d Daniel asked as he gave a sideways glance towards Joe.\u00a0 \u201cBesides there weren\u2019t any money on him\u2026I already checked.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled briefly at the exchange but his grin soon faded as the seriousness of the situation hit him again.\u00a0 \u201cBut what if the law was after me?\u00a0 There could be a reward out for all you know!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel studied the young man then shook his head, smiling.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t got the look of no criminal so don\u2019t reckon you\u2019re on any wanted poster.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s shoulders slumped.\u00a0 \u201cThanks for the vote of confidence but let\u2019s face it, neither of us knows for sure.\u00a0 I could be anybody, done anything.\u201d\u00a0 He heaved another heavy sigh.\u00a0 \u201cWhy can\u2019t I remember?\u00a0 What the hell has happened to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel stared into the embers of the campfire for a few moments, scratching thoughtfully at the stubble on his jaw. \u201cI might be able to help you there,\u201d he answered as he looked back towards Joe.\u00a0 \u201cReckon you\u2019ve got a serious case of selective amnesia. Read about it in a medical journal I came across once.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at him uncomprehendingly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat the heck is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFancy name for loss of memory when some things from the past come to mind yet other memories are completely forgot.\u00a0 It can happen after a serious bang to the head and let\u2019s face it you certainly had a humdinger and no mistake!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s only temporary, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cHard to say,\u201d he answered with a frown.\u00a0 \u201cFrom what I read most folk start recollecting everything again within a short while without any problem but\u2026\u201d He paused for a moment and straightened his shoulders. \u00a0\u201cBut there\u2019ve been rare cases when nothing of any significance ever comes back at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared at him in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cAre you telling me there\u2019s a chance I might never know who I am or where I\u2019ve come from?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hardly able to comprehend how Joe was feeling and finding no words to make the situation better, Daniel just nodded grimly then took another long swig of his coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t mean to sound ungrateful, but I think saving my life might just have condemned me to a living hell,\u201d Joe murmured dejectedly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Always the optimist Sam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo point thinking that way mister.\u00a0 You might be one of the lucky ones and get your memory back in a short while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though wanting to believe him Joe let out a loud sigh of frustration.\u00a0 \u201cAnd if not what do I do till it decides to return?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel turned his gaze to stare out across the vast empty countryside which stretched from horizon to horizon.\u00a0 \u201cWell one thing\u2019s for sure, you can\u2019t stay out here in the middle of nowhere on your own, memory or no memory. And without any notion of where you belong figuring out where you came from in this god-forsaken wilderness would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reluctantly Joe was inclined to agree.\u00a0 \u201cSo what do you suggest?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel thought for a moment as he emptied the dregs from his mug onto the fire.\u00a0 \u201cReckon you\u2019ve got a couple of choices.\u00a0 We\u2019re heading for a small town a few days travelling time from here.\u00a0 Once there you could stick around until you manage some remembering then make your way back to where you came from if you\u2019ve a mind to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe churned over the suggestion for a few moments.\u00a0 \u201cAnd my second option?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome to continue on with us though I won\u2019t lie to you, it\u2019ll be over a thousand difficult and backbreaking miles before we get to our final destination.\u00a0 And I can\u2019t even guarantee we\u2019ll all get there in one piece!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel paused and looked between his two friends.\u00a0 \u201cBut truth be known, we could do with an extra pair of hands, if nothing else to help care for them ornery mules.\u00a0 I\u2019ve stopped counting the number of times one of them critters has come close to doing us some permanent injury.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As if to substantiate his statement Daniel rubbed at his leg in a soothing fashion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it wouldn\u2019t do any harm to have an additional gun should we get bushwhacked by any damn Apaches,\u201d Henry stated quietly as a faint glint of hatred once more flickered in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Joe arched his eyebrows. \u201cAnd that\u2019s supposed to convince me to go with you all? The prospect of being kicked or shot to death?\u201d he asked with a cynical smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cMust admit, the way you said it don\u2019t make it sound like such a good deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then as a thought came to him Joe frowned curiously.\u00a0 \u201cJust where is it you\u2019re heading?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKansas.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cKansas!\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Is that where you\u2019re all from?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHell no mister, we ain\u2019t ever been there before,\u201d Sam admitted as he rolled and lit a second cigarette.\u00a0 \u201cAll three of us were born and raised around a small town in the New Mexico Territory.\u00a0 Only other time we\u2019d left the area was when we decided to escape the drudgery of farm life a few years back and travelled south together looking for a little adventure.\u00a0 Got involved in the overthrow of Santa Anna then stayed on for a while, sowing a few wild oats with the local senoritas, if you know what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He gave a heavy wink at the inference before continuing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen we heard gold had been found along the Gila River, so ready for a change of scene we headed back in \u201858 and settled west of Yuma.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t much of a place but we managed to pan enough to suit our needs until the Colorado burst its banks a few months back.\u00a0 Everywhere for miles was covered within hours, animals drowned, crops washed away, town flooded and destroyed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs that why you left?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam took another long drag and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWe did figure on sticking around until the land drained dry and then start panning again.\u00a0 But we heard several columns of Confederate soldiers were heading in our direction and be arriving within the week.\u00a0 And being known supporters of the Union we decided it would be a good idea to do a tactical withdrawal at that point, so we bought ourselves a team of mules and a wagon, filled it with supplies and headed north.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut why go to Kansas?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam pulled out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket and carefully unfolded it. \u201cFound this nailed up on a wall in Yuma,\u201d he said as he passed it over for Joe to read.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The multi creased poster announced the Kansas Militia based at Fort Leavenworth was recruiting Union volunteers to be eventually deployed to major battle zones in the east after a short period of training.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019d been rumours the war wasn\u2019t going too well for Mr Lincoln and that the confederates were planning on conscripting men at any time to boost their numbers.\u00a0 So we reckoned fate had decreed by way of the flooding it was time for a change in career and take up arms against the South.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared between the three in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean you\u2019re going all that way just to enlist and then maybe get yourselves killed? What kind of a fool idea do you call that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam shrugged nonchalantly.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t be the first time we\u2019ve courted death over the years.\u00a0 Besides, as we\u2019ve all gotta die someday, we might as well go together for a cause we believe in than not.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Half admiring and half thinking them mad for their fatalistic stance, Joe scrutinised the poster again then handed it back without further comment and Sam returned it to his pocket.\u00a0 \u201cYou do understand the North has been at war against the Confederate States for the past year, don\u2019t you?\u00a0 Or is that something else you can\u2019t remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes glazed over thoughtfully for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cMost of the details seem pretty sketchy and jumbled up in my head but I can just about recall reading about it.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t there a fight at a fort somewhere what started it all and the Confederates won?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel nodded.\u00a0 \u201cFort Sumter. Well at least you\u2019ve managed to remember something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can think of better memories I\u2019d like to have than the beginning of a war!\u201d Joe shot back a little bitterly. \u201cThis is just too crazy!\u00a0 I can quote facts from a year ago but can\u2019t remember where I was last week!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearing a sense of frustration and fear in his voice there was an awkward silence for a few moments, all three men feeling genuine pity for Joe\u2019s situation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel finally broke the stillness between them.\u00a0 \u201cCan\u2019t imagine what you\u2019re going through, but I\u2019m sure if I were in your shoes I wouldn\u2019t want to be alone at a time like this.\u00a0 So tell you what. You come with us to Kansas but if your memory returns at any time the first town we get to we\u2019ll give you enough money to buy a stage ticket straight back to where you came from.\u00a0 How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shifted uncomfortably.\u00a0 \u201cConsidering you know nothing about me reckon it\u2019s more than generous, but if we get all the way to Fort Leavenworth and I still haven\u2019t remembered anything what then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel pushed back his hat and ran a hand through his thick black hair, considering.\u00a0 \u201cWell, as a last resort you could always enlist with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe widened his eyes and stared at him, stunned.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u00a0 And maybe get myself killed as well?\u00a0 I may have lost my memory but I ain\u2019t lost my mind!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess that is the one main downside to my suggestion,\u201d Daniel admitted with a wry grin.\u00a0 \u201cBut at least you\u2019d be paid regular and clothed and fed till the time came to maybe meet your maker.\u00a0 So what do you say?\u00a0 You feel up to joining us for a little adventure?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe chewed at his lip for a few seconds. It was like trying to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea!\u00a0 But he had to admit the thought of travelling half way across the country with his new found companions was far more appealing than sitting around a strange town on his own, just waiting and praying for his memory to return, if ever.\u00a0 \u201cThough something tells me I might regret this it looks like you\u2019ve got an extra passenger for the duration of your trip, or at least until I remember who I am,\u201d he finally declared with a sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel nodded.\u00a0 \u201cGood decision,\u201d he agreed then pulled out a pocket-watch and checked the time.\u00a0 \u201cWe need to make a move if we aim to hit the border by sundown.\u00a0 You feeling fit enough to travel?\u201d he asked, looking back down at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay mister, then just stay put till we\u2019re ready to go.\u00a0 Daresay it\u2019ll be a while before you\u2019re steady on your feet after all you\u2019ve been through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe agreed without protestation as Sam\u2019s eyes narrowed thoughtfully towards him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell seeing as you might be with us for a time, you need to have a proper name until you remember your own.\u00a0 We can\u2019t just keep calling you mister, so any ideas what you\u2019d like to be called?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Joe could answer Henry stepped forward.\u00a0 \u201cHow about Jack seeing as it was a jack rabbit I was shooting at when I found him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took just a brief moment to consider his response.\u00a0 \u201cJack sounds good.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen Jack it is,\u201d Daniel agreed as he walked over to the dying fire and doused it with the remaining liquid from inside a battered looking coffee pot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bedrolls were stuffed into canvas bags and cooking utensils swilled clean then everything placed in the wagon.\u00a0 Soon the campsite was cleared and for the next few minutes Joe forgot his troubles and watched with amusement as the three men struggled and cursed as they tried to hitch up the six unruly mules into place.\u00a0 It was obviously a battle fought daily but at last after much braying and protesting the team was secured in their harness and the party was ready to move off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Flushed with exertion Henry made his way back to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking.\u00a0 It\u2019s only right and proper you have a last name as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGot an idea for that one?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Henry looked a little sheepish as he helped Joe to a standing position.\u00a0 \u201cWell I did think\u2026how\u2019d you feel about going by my surname, McFarlane?\u201d\u00a0 He paused for a moment and swallowed hard. \u201cBe good to share my name for a while.\u00a0 Be like having a little brother again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a brief second Joe thought moisture glistened in Henry\u2019s eyes; the loss of his sibling all those years ago still a festering wound which refused to heal.\u00a0 He mustered a gentle smile of compassion.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019d be an honour to take on your name Henry. Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2019Be like having a little brother again\u2026little brother\u2019.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned as Henry\u2019s words rang in his ears.\u00a0 There was something familiar about what he\u2019d said that was now pulling at his memory.\u00a0 He strained his brain to try and remember then swayed dizzily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Jack, you ain\u2019t gonna pass out on me are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his thoughts instantly forgotten Joe held onto Henry\u2019s arm for support and managed a faint smile of reassurance. \u201cLegs just feel a little weak.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a nod of sympathy and all the while giving over a close scrutiny of friendly concern Henry helped Joe into the back of the wagon, and after making sure he was comfortable returned to climb up alongside his two friends on the front seat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Convinced Sam was right and his amnesia may well be short lived and a temporary affair Joe heaved an optimistic sigh as he pulled a blanket tight around his shoulders.\u00a0 And blissfully unaware of his father and brothers standing on a scaffold in the pale mist of morning days before as they prepared to die, he heard Daniel kick off the brake, slap the reins and with a sudden creaking the wagon set off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Any hopes Joe had about his memory quickly returning were cruelly dashed for he still didn\u2019t know who he was or where he came from when they eventually arrived at a newly founded settlement in Utah several days later.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel pulled the team to a halt outside the only mercantile in town, and as Henry tethered the lead mules to a hitching rail Joe jumped down from the back of the wagon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now stronger and in better health he looked around and wiped a hand through his sweat-matted hair.\u00a0 After suffering a blazing sun and eating mouthfuls of dust for miles, the sight of a sprinkling of drinkers wandering into the saloon next door made Joe lick his lips.\u00a0 What he wouldn\u2019t give for a cool beer that instant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However they weren\u2019t staying in town for long and there was something else he needed to do before they left, and as if reading his mind Daniel looked over and indicated towards his right arm now in a protective sling.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not going to be much help loading the wagon so why don\u2019t you go for a walk and see if anything looks familiar or someone recognises you before we move on,\u201d he suggested before following Henry and Sam inside the store.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a nod of agreement Joe walked up and down the sidewalk for the next half hour, sweeping his gaze towards any townsfolk as they passed by, full of hope someone would be bound to show him a flicker of recognition and greet him by name.\u00a0 But to Joe\u2019s intense disappointment no one paid him any heed.\u00a0 He even studied a notice board outside the Sheriff\u2019s office in case there was a wanted poster showing a description of someone like him.\u00a0 But there was nothing that even came close.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally he sat down despondently on a wooden bench in front of the saloon.\u00a0 An old man was already seated, smoking a clay pipe and reading a newspaper.\u00a0 He glanced over at Joe with disinterest then returned to his read\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Men hanged for murder and bank-robbery in Alkali.\u2019\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe sighed, barely taking in the story heading on the front page.\u00a0 He\u2019d been so sure someone would have picked him out and he\u2019d know who he really was by the end of the day.\u00a0 So much for praying for a miracle he thought as he closed his eyes, disheartened and disillusioned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay Jack? Anybody know you?\u00a0 Anything trigger your memory?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sound of Henry\u2019s voice brought Joe back to the here and now and he looked over, noting the provisions had been loaded and his travelling companions were already seated on the front of the wagon watching him keenly.\u00a0 They could see the disappointment on his face as Joe shook his head and as he made towards them he glanced in the mercantile window.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was then Joe stopped in his tracks as he noticed his reflection.\u00a0 He took a deep steadying breath.\u00a0 For he didn\u2019t recognise the slim-built, gaunt faced young man who looked back at him; it was akin to staring at a stranger.\u00a0 And if he didn\u2019t know himself what hope was there of anything else ever being able to jog his memory?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So with a heavy heart Joe hauled himself onto the tailgate, and with Sam taking charge of the reins the wagon trundled slowly out of town in an easterly direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hours later, just as the sun was going down, the four men set up camp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was a pleasant and peaceful location and as they sat around a blazing fire, their stomachs filled with beans and bacon and half the contents of a newly bought bottle of whiskey, Henry disappeared into the wagon for a few moments.\u00a0 When he returned he dropped a wide brimmed hat and leather gun belt into Joe\u2019s hands.\u00a0 \u201cWe bought these for you today Jack. They ain\u2019t brand new but as good as.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a look of surprise Joe stroked the flat brim and stared at the holster containing a Colt.44 revolver.\u00a0 Then he shook his head and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cBut I haven\u2019t got any money to give you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho said we wanted paying back?\u201d Henry replied as he sat down again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d rather not get into too much debt if I can help it,\u201d Joe answered a little too sharply then realising he sounded ungrateful gave an apologetic sigh.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLook, I\u2019m sorry but\u2026but you\u2019ve all done enough\u2026given me enough as it is.\u00a0 I can\u2019t take your charity as well!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel shook his head with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not charity Jack.\u00a0 They\u2019re gifts, necessary gifts for a friend.\u00a0 You need some protection from the sun and as for the gun a man isn\u2019t dressed without one.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t that right boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry and Sam let out a far from sober chorus of agreement, and deeply touched by their thoughtfulness Joe\u2019s expression changed to one of appreciation and thanks.\u00a0 \u201cVery well, but I swear as soon as I get the chance I\u2019m going to pay you back and that\u2019s a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel nodded and reaching into a bag by his side passed over a box of shells. \u00a0\u201cLet\u2019s see if that weapon feels right for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood up and slipped his arm out of the sling before placing a bullet into each chamber of the Colt.\u00a0 Then he strapped the gun belt low on his hips and for a few moments played with the revolver, twirling it around on a finger then slamming it back into the holster over and over, faster and faster with ease.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three men sucked in breaths of admiration at the sight.\u00a0 \u201cAt least you haven\u2019t forgotten how to use a firearm and you sure are a natural and no mistake.\u00a0 Lucky that storekeeper had one left-handed holster to sell.\u00a0 Told me its last owner had it made special but only got to wear it a short while before he didn\u2019t need it no more,\u201d Daniel admitted without further explanation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sheathed his gun and looked over curiously.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019d you know I was left handed?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe noticed you favouring it ever since we met so it seemed to make sense,\u201d Henry replied.\u00a0 \u201cAnd it\u2019ll be a comfort to know there\u2019s someone with such a skill watching our backs if we ever gets into any serious fighting.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Flashing a smile at his companions Joe\u2019s mouth began to twitch and then he burst out in a full-blown chortle of high-pitched laughter, his hazel eyes twinkling with amusement.\u00a0 It was the last thing the three men had expected to hear or see; Joe\u2019s understandable melancholy having been obvious that day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tried hard to regain composure at he stared over towards Henry but failed for several seconds. \u201cIt just occurred to me,\u201d he finally answered with a grin as he sat down by his side.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if my memory returns and I realize my allegiance is to the South!\u00a0 Would you be quite so happy to have a Johnny Reb watching your backs then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three older men exchanged confused drunken glances before slowly they started to chuckle and soon tears of mirth were running down their cheeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a good one,\u201d Henry declared after he\u2019d calmed, slapping Joe hard on the back.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t laughed so much since\u2026well, since I don\u2019t know when!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the evening.\u00a0 With Joe in a much better mood they chatted and joked together, the older men once more spinning yarns and reminiscing about their days in Mexico until a second bottle of whiskey was emptied and it was time to turn in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he made himself comfortable Henry looked over and focused on Joe with a mighty effort, his eyes blurry and glazed.\u00a0 \u201cI know you want your memory back but I\u2019ve got to tell you – and don\u2019t take this the wrong way – but we\u2019ve all got to hoping you never do any remembering if it means you\u2019ll end up sticking around with us. You\u2019ve fitted in like family Jack, you truly have.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without waiting for a reply or comment Henry flopped down into his bedroll and like Daniel and Sam fell instantly asleep; a chorus of whiskey induced snoring echoing within moments around the camp site.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though also reeking of liquor, sleep didn\u2019t come so easily for Joe.\u00a0 With plenty on his mind he was suddenly made sober so he silently rose to leave the warmth of the fire and walk a short distance away, slumping down by the stump of a lightning ravaged juniper tree with his jacket pulled tight around him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Many minutes passed as he mulled over what Henry had said, for truth be known he\u2019d also been thinking if his amnesia turned out to be permanent it wouldn\u2019t be such a bad thing, giving him the perfect excuse to stick around with the three companions he\u2019d grown so close to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However it was a shameful thought and the fact he\u2019d even contemplated the idea filled Joe with an overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust.\u00a0 He might well have kin of his own somewhere; a frantic father searching and a loving mother grieving and weeping for a son lost.\u00a0 Surely he should keep his thoughts focused towards trying to remember them?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what any other sane and decent man would want to do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Daniel had been right in his appraisal.\u00a0 He could handle a gun like he was born to it so what if he hadn\u2019t been a decent man?\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019d just been trouble all his life; a loner, a no-good bum who didn\u2019t fit in, the sort of man who\u2019d kill on a whim then when shot himself was left to die alone like a crazed demented dog.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The idea of having such a desperate past made Joe feel sick inside but he had to know the truth.\u00a0 Shutting his eyes tight and focusing hard he prayed for memories of something or someone would flood back; any tiny scrap of a recollection that he could grasp then drag from the depths of his mind \u2013 a name, location, a face, a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 But for all his concentrated effort there was just a vast void of nothingness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019d lost the first twenty odd years of his life and had no idea how to get them back \u2013 might well never get them back. \u00a0And as he hugged his knees against his chest Joe silently screamed.\u00a0 \u2018Dear God, will this nightmare ever end?\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the next few weeks with no sign of warring Indians and good weather on their side Daniel refused to push the team of mules unnecessarily as the four men travelled across the high plains and mountains of Utah and Colorado.\u00a0 Instead they just went at a steady pace for several hundred trouble free miles, occasionally collecting fresh provisions from a few small settlements and homesteads they passed through along the way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were minor incidents during their journey of course; the occasional bruised shins from well-aimed hoofs, an unintentional dunking as they crossed the fast flowing Arkansas River, the uninvited visit from a curious grizzly late one night.\u00a0 But as they hit the vast flat prairie land of Kansas and spent a further month of uninterrupted safe travelling, the small party eventually arrived in one piece at Fort Leavenworth on an unseasonably hot and humid day near the end of July.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The weariness and relief after finishing the long trek showed on all their faces as Daniel pulled the team to a halt in front of a livery stable on the edge of the quickly expanding garrison town.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Alighting from the wagon they all stretched aching arms and backs then looked down the main street where the full length of road was a river of dark blue uniformed activity with cavalry, foot soldiers, artillery and several supply wagons forming a seemingly never ending line as far as the eye could see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A mix of townsfolk and newly arrived volunteers for the Kansas Militia were stood on the sidewalk cheering wildly towards the troops when suddenly above the clatter and commotion they heard the sound of a loud bugle call.\u00a0\u00a0 Almost at once the procession began to move; a prancing stallion ridden by a stiff backed Yankee colonel leading the way as the column slowly wound its way out of town to a destination unknown, leaving a great cloud of choking dust in its wake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat could be us in a few weeks,\u201d Daniel said sombrely after watching in silence for a full ten minutes until the last wagon was out of sight, then his gaze wandered towards an impressive looking brick built building across the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A large sign above the door announced rooms and food available and he gave a brief jerky nod in its direction.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna see how much I can get for the mules and wagon, so why don\u2019t you head over there and order us the best meal they\u2019ve got to offer.\u00a0 Reckon we deserve it before going down to the recruiting station.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no argument at his suggestion and several minutes later sitting in their dirt encrusted clothes the three men stuck out like sore thumbs amongst better-dressed clientele as they stared around at their unusually luxurious surroundings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To make it the most prominent and successful hotel west of the Mississippi, the owner of the lavishly decorated restaurant had spared no expense; the room conveying its pretence of grandeur with top grade wood panelling on the walls, velvet curtains at the windows and imported crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever been in anywhere like this before,\u201d Sam admitted nervously as he inadvertently brushed a splatter of dried mud from his pants onto the highly polished floor and tried to hide it with his boot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNor me,\u201d seconded Henry, feeling equally out of place and awkward in such opulent surroundings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSort of reminds me of Julia\u2019s Palace.\u00a0 Now that sure was a fancy place upstairs and down,\u201d Joe admitted distractedly as he flashed a smile towards an attractive looking blond-haired waitress who\u2019d just taken their order.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The young woman blushed wildly as she rushed into the kitchen and with the pleasant diversion no one picked up on the fact a rare memory from the past had suddenly resurfaced from the depths of Joe\u2019s mind as he\u2019d recalled Julia Bulette\u2019s infamous saloon in Virginia City.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel suddenly appeared, the fine d\u00e9cor bringing a raised eyebrow of appreciation as he pulled up a chair and sat down.\u00a0 \u201cThis is some expensive looking eatery!\u00a0 Reckon the meal\u2019s gonna be top-price as well so good job I got a great deal from the livery,\u201d he informed with a grin as he immediately proceeded to share out a large quantity of dollar bills into four equal portions.\u00a0 Then he placed one of the piles in front of Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSince you ain\u2019t done any remembering we don\u2019t want you to feel obliged to join up with us so we\u2019d like you to accept this. It\u2019s by way of thanks for all your help and good company over the past three months and should be enough to get you back to Nevada if you\u2019ve a mind to head in that direction.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Acutely aware of their eyes on him Joe stared down at the money for several seconds. There was indeed more than enough to enable him to return to where he\u2019d come from and seek out his past but he made no attempt to reach out and take it.\u00a0 For he\u2019d resigned himself long since to the fact his amnesia was permanent and had no intention of being cast adrift now to make his own way in the world alone and so leave the men who\u2019d become more like brothers than friends.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He pushed the money back.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, but no thanks. I need to earn some of that Army pay as I still owe you for my gun and hat,\u201d he said, his face breaking into a boyish grin. \u201cBesides, reckon someone\u2019s got to watch your aging backs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With her cheeks still flushed red the waitress suddenly appeared carrying a large tray and placed a plate of steak, corn fritters and potato in front of them all.\u00a0 And taking no notice of the expression of surprised delight on his friend\u2019s faces Joe gave the pretty female a wink, picked up his fork and knife and without another word began to eat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Darkness was falling and near the end of training Joe was sat on his bunk, cleaning and oiling his Army issue rifle as the door to the barracks flew open and Sam rushed in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey you\u2019ll never guess what the Sergeant just told me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel and Henry looked up from the game of cards they were playing as Sam caught his breath.\u00a0 \u201cConfederate forces have taken Independence!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry pursed his lips in a soundless whistle.\u00a0 \u201cIndependence?\u00a0 Why that\u2019s less than 50 miles from here!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAnd Quantrill was with them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A collective low murmur of unease reverberated around the room from the dozen or so volunteers housed in the same block as they digested Sam\u2019s unexpected news.\u00a0 Quantrill and his band of around two hundred had become notorious over the past year for their guerrilla style warfare against the Union and no one who opposed their way of thinking was safe from their murderous retribution and cold blooded killing, civilian or Army.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid we lose many men?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A fresh-faced young man by the name of Johnson nervously asked the question and Sam looked solemnly towards him.\u00a0 \u201cToo many Seth, some of them shot down in their beds by all accounts.\u00a0 And that ain\u2019t all.\u00a0 Sergeant also told me we\u2019ve got new orders.\u00a0 Instead of heading east next week we\u2019re patrolling the Missouri border till October in case any damn Gray-backs try to sneak across and claim Kansas for the Confederacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However before anyone could comment on this revelation the broadest of smiles appeared on Sam\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019ve also got us some good news!\u00a0 We\u2019re getting paid in the morning and starting then we\u2019ve all been given 3 days leave!\u00a0 You realize what that means don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took a few moments before his words sank in.\u00a0 For since they\u2019d joined up no recruit had been allowed out of the garrison to fraternise with the civilian population; training and drills all they\u2019d had to concentrate on from morning till night.\u00a0 So as realisation dawned the thought of being able to spend a few hours on drinking and whores brought up a loud cheer in response, and all of a sudden to a man Army life didn\u2019t seem so bad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next day as soon as he\u2019d signed for his wages, Joe paid back his debt for his hat and gun as promised.\u00a0 Daniel was about to argue but seeing the look of resolve on Joe\u2019s face decided against it and accepted the payment with a gracious nod.\u00a0 And then before leaving the confines of the fort the four men hurriedly planned out their schedule to the minute detail.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They\u2019d have a few drinks first, grab another succulent steak and then find themselves a quality bordello to spend a few hours and maybe even stay the night if their money held out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were no raised objections to this timetable.\u00a0 All were determined to enjoy their short leave to the fullest for they accepted it might well be the last time they\u2019d have such an opportunity for a long while, if not ever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However the first saloon they came to was already filled to capacity as several dance-hall girls pirouetted provocatively on a stage in front of an innumerable haze of cheering and leering dark blue uniforms. The noise was deafening and the tune played on an out of tune piano could be barely heard above the din.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Desiring a quieter atmosphere they wandered on until eventually coming across a suitable watering hole devoid of military personnel and female distraction.\u00a0 It was a drab looking place with paint peeling off the walls and the smell of stale liquor in the air but it suited their needs and Henry was just about to push his way through the swing doors when they were alerted to a loud buzz of excitement emanating from around the next corner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With their curiosity aroused the friends followed the sound and were immediately met with the sight of a large crowd looking over towards a hastily built scaffold.\u00a0 Three men were stood on it, their hands tied behind their backs and each with a noose around their hooded heads.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Queasiness settled in Joe\u2019s stomach at the sight and then without warning a sharp pain radiated on the side of his head and he pushed back his forage cap and began massaging the area.\u00a0 He turned to his nearest neighbour.\u00a0 \u201cWho are they? What have they done?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting expectantly for a raised hand of the sheriff to drop, an old-timer with a toothless smile glanced quickly at the Yankee private next to him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Matt Ballantine and his two eldest boys,\u201d he spat then turned his gaze back.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019ve been heading a gang of no-goods round these parts for years.\u00a0\u00a0 Father and sons raped and murdered a couple of women on a homestead not far from here a week ago then got caught red-handed trying to burn the place down after they\u2019d finished.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly at the sheriff\u2019s signal a trapdoor was released and now deprived of their footing the three men kicked out and for several seconds lunged crazily as if in a wild uncontrollable dance with the devil.\u00a0 Then as bones separated in each neck, and to the sound of a loud cheer the figures gave a final twitch and almost as one stilled in death.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The spectacle had been sickening but now over and with justice seemed to be done the crowd began to disperse and the Ballantines were cut down and hurriedly placed in the back of a wagon, their final destination an unmarked grave on the outskirts of town.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As they also turned to leave Henry noticed Joe hadn\u2019t moved but was froze rigid, staring transfixed towards the empty gallows.\u00a0 His face had visibly paled and thinking he was about to collapse Henry went to take a steadying hold only for Joe to shake him off then stagger towards a narrow alley where he promptly began to throw up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReckon that must have been the first time he\u2019s seen a hanging,\u201d Henry deduced as they followed and waited for him to finish.\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t anything to be ashamed of though Jack.\u00a0 Sight always leaves me feeling a mite squeamish as well, but them Ballantines deserved it for what they\u2019d done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For several seconds Joe remained slumped to his knees, clutching at his stomach until slowly he raised his gaze and looked from one to the other; his heart slamming so hard against his ribs he felt faint.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t understand\u2026the hanging\u2026it\u2019s brought it all back,\u201d he murmured hesitatingly, the dam to his past having finally cracked open and memories of home and family now sweeping over him in a powerful flow.\u00a0 \u201cI know who I am now. I\u2019ve just remembered everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost immediately feeling a hand on his arm guiding him, Joe allowed himself to be propelled towards the near-deserted saloon they\u2019d been about to enter a short while before. The only other customers were several elderly townsfolk playing cards who gave the small group of soldiers a passing glance then returned to their game.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Throwing over a coin to a sleepy eyed bartender lounging at the far end of the bar, Sam collected a bottle and glasses then set them down on a table, and removing the cork with his teeth poured out four generous measures of whiskey and placed one in Joe\u2019s shaking hand.\u00a0 Although burning his throat Joe\u2019s shot was downed in an instant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWant another?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and within moments had repeated the action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel took a sip of his drink and studied Joe over the rim of his glass; his young friend clearly troubled and far from being thankful his amnesia had cleared at last.\u00a0 \u201cSomething tells me you\u2019ve stirred memories awake from your past you don\u2019t care to be reminded of.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face drained of what little colour was left.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t know the half of it.\u00a0 I\u2019m beginning to wish you\u2019d left me to die on the trail.\u00a0 It\u2019s no less than I deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam leaned back in his chair, curious to the turmoil churning his friend\u2019s insides.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s some admission Jack. Care to explain?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no immediate reply as Joe took a deep breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a long story.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t know where to start.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam gave a narrow-lipped smile, his voice now quiet and patient as if talking to a child. \u201cWell we\u2019ve got all day, so let\u2019s begin with your real name.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt a shiver pass through him and took a deep swallow to ease the tightness in his throat.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Cartwright, Joseph Cartwright.\u00a0 Friends and family called me Li\u2026..\u201d\u00a0 He paused and took a breath.\u00a0 \u201cJoe.\u00a0 They called me Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry pondered his reply for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cJoe.\u00a0 Name suits you.\u00a0 So you got kinfolk somewhere Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his face lined with sadness Joe took a deep swallow. \u201cMother died when I was small but\u2026but I had a father and two elder brothers.\u00a0 We worked a ranch near Virginia City until…\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Joe\u2019s voice trailed a perplexed frown appeared on Henry\u2019s brow as he picked up on the past tense.\u00a0 \u201cUntil what Joe?\u00a0 What happened to them?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Although fighting with all his strength to keep his emotions in check Joe felt tears stinging in his eyes and wiped a hand across his face.\u00a0 \u201cThey were to be hanged by the neck the day after you found me,\u201d he said, drawing in a shuddery breath.\u00a0 \u201cOnly unlike them Ballantines they were innocent of any crime and it\u2019s my fault they\u2019re dead just as sure as if I\u2019d placed that noose around their necks myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Momentarily taken aback the revelation was met with stunned silence by the three men.\u00a0 Daniel shook his head incredulously. \u201cYou\u2019re not making any sense Joe,\u201d he finally responded.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just start from the beginning and tell us what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe remained silent for several long seconds then with tears unashamedly blurring his vision he nodded and allowed his mind to flash back in time.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt all started after my Pa, brothers and me finished a cattle drive and arrived late one night at a town called Alkali\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Some time later the story had been told.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m real sorry Joe,\u201d Henry said quietly, genuinely saddened and his eyes filled with pity.\u00a0 \u201cSorry about what happened to your kin.\u00a0 But from where I\u2019m sitting don\u2019t reckon you\u2019ve got anything to blame yourself for. You falling and losing your memory was just an accident; a cruel twist of fate, no more, no less.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Daniel and Sam nodded in agreement Joe stared down dejectedly.\u00a0 \u201cEasy for you to say considering it weren\u2019t your Pa and brothers who were strung up because you failed to fetch help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel\u2019s face softened.\u00a0 \u201cWere you a close family?\u201d he asked, probing gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As images of his Pa, Adam and Hoss flashed through his mind Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cClose as you can get I reckon. Just wish I\u2019d\u2026\u201d\u00a0 His voice faltered.\u00a0 \u201cJust wish I\u2019d told each of them more often how much they meant to me.\u00a0 But now it\u2019s too late and they\u2019ll never know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam gave a sad sigh, not sure what to say that could lessen the burden of misery Joe now bore.\u00a0 He lit up a cigarette and aimed a cloud of smoke at the ceiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo what you gonna do about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t answer immediately and there were a few moments of edgy silence as his thoughts seemed to drift away.\u00a0 The shock of knowing he\u2019d never have his father\u2019s comforting arms around him again, never enjoy the reassuring presence of his brothers at his side caused a tremor of pain to explode within him; their deaths leaving a void in his heart that could never be filled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally, clenching his fists tightly he took a deep calming breath to steady himself and slowly his eyes began glinting coldly and his expression took on one of a willing executioner.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going straight back to Alkali to settle a few scores the only way Sheriff Gains and his two deputies deserve, with a bullet between the eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if they\u2019ve already left Alkali?\u201d Sam asked.\u00a0 \u201cTen thousand dollars can take a man a hell of a long way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019ll just have to go after them, to the ends of the earth if I need to.\u00a0\u00a0 I owe it to my Pa and brothers so don\u2019t try and stop me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry gave a shake of the head and gestured helplessly.\u00a0 \u201cHell Joe, the mood you\u2019re in we wouldn\u2019t dare, but just take a minute to think this through,\u201d he begged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf you go shooting dead three lawmen no matter what their crime, you\u2019d be a wanted man with a price on your head!\u00a0 Do you want to be looking over your shoulder morning, noon and night for the rest of your life?\u00a0 For your own sake why not leave it to the law to see justice is done?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glared over.\u00a0 \u201cWhat price is justice when it was lawmen who murdered my Pa and brothers?\u00a0 And truth be told without them around anymore I don\u2019t much care what happens to me once I\u2019ve done what I aim to do.\u00a0 This vendetta is personal and you of all people should understand what I\u2019m talking about Henry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As their eyes locked Henry reluctantly nodded as he involuntarily fingered the kerchief around his neck before exchanging a glance with Sam and Daniel.\u00a0 And as one mind they accepted Joe\u2019s hatred and yearning for revenge was truly justified.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Daniel could also see Joe\u2019s desire for vengeance was clouding all reasonable judgment and realising all rationality had gone he leaned over and gripped his fingers tightly around Joe\u2019s wrist.\u00a0 \u201cHas it slipped your mind you signed up for the Militia?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned questioningly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s that got to do with anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel glanced around as if to check their conversation wasn\u2019t being overheard.\u00a0 But he needn\u2019t have worried.\u00a0 The other customers were so engrossed playing cards none of them turned a head in their direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou suddenly run off and you\u2019ll be classed as a deserter and probably hunted down before you get out of the territory.\u00a0 And I for one don\u2019t relish the prospect of being assigned firing squad duties and looking at you down the barrel of a rifle!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019ll explain the reasons I have to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel sighed in frustration as he sat back.\u00a0 \u201cYou think the Colonel up at the fort is gonna wave you off with his blessing just so you can go on a personal killing spree?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes flashed and narrowed with fury.\u00a0 \u201cAre you saying I have to wait until the war is over before those low-life killers get what\u2019s coming to them? \u2018Cause if you are forget it!\u201d he spat back in response as both hands noticeably clenched once more into fists.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unused to seeing such rage from their young friend Sam laid a hand on his arm.\u00a0 \u201cEasy Joe, we\u2019re on your side, remember?\u201d he said in a consolatory tone as Daniel\u2019s mind whirled frantically, trying to fathom a way out of the dilemma and his brow furrowed in thought.\u00a0 Then slowly the corner of his mouth curled.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t suppose you read the small print at the Recruiting Station when you enlisted did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now slumped in his chair Joe looked at him blankly and could only shake his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThought not,\u201d Daniel said with a faint smile.\u00a0 \u201cWell it stated minimum length of service for any volunteer who signed up for the Militia was three months.\u00a0 Seeing as we\u2019ve already done near on thirty days you reckon you could hold off on your departure till you\u2019ve finished a further sixty?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right Joe, you listen to Daniel,\u201d Henry encouraged.\u00a0 \u201cYou know what he says makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe exchanged a quick glance with them all then chewed at his lip thoughtfully for a few moments. As much as he hated to admit it he could see the wisdom of the suggestion and finally gave a slight nod of agreement.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, you got a deal.\u00a0 I\u2019ll stick around till I get my ninety day discharge papers but then I\u2019m definitely heading west.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot just you Joe.\u00a0 Us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUs?\u201d Joe repeated the word.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean us?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cWell you don\u2019t think we\u2019re gonna let you go on your own, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head emphatically.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going alone,\u201d he replied tersely.\u00a0 \u201cThis is my problem and mine only.\u00a0 I owe you more than enough as it is and don\u2019t aim to get you involved and probably invited to a neck-tie party over something that doesn\u2019t concern you.\u00a0 And I swear to God I\u2019ll steal me a horse this very minute and start back regardless of the consequences if you don\u2019t agree to what I\u2019m saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his jaw set determinedly it was clear this was no idle threat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daniel let out a sigh of defeat.\u00a0 \u201cVery well, we\u2019ll do it your way,\u201d he agreed then adding without malice.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure can be an obstinate cuss at times Joseph Cartwright!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tried to smile but the muscles in his face failed to cooperate.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s just what my big brother used to tell me as well.\u00a0 Guess some things never change.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At that moment their conversation was interrupted when a group of unruly cowpokes pushed through the batwing doors and began hammering loud on the bar for service.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sam dropped the stub of his cigarette onto the floor and ground it to pulp with his heel.\u00a0 \u201cNever could stand noise and crowds at the same time when I\u2019m drinking,\u201d he said with a groan as the clamour intensified. \u201cReckon it\u2019s time we got out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without any argument the men downed their whiskey and left the saloon and with no further conversation between them wandered down the street until they stood in front of the hotel they\u2019d visited on their first day in town.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry placed a gentle hand on his friend\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cDo you feel like grabbing some food?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not wishing to spoil the rest of their day as he knew his mood would affect them unfairly Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWouldn\u2019t be the best of company and haven\u2019t got much of an appetite anyways.\u00a0 Reckon I\u2019ll head back to the barracks.\u00a0 Need some time alone as I\u2019ve got a lot of thinking to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou gonna be alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a deep sigh.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t reckon I\u2019m ever gonna be alright again Henry,\u201d he said, a lingering sadness in his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three men continued to watch him as he walked away, Joe seemingly deaf to all that was going on around him, deep in grief-driven thought and his head bent low.\u00a0 Tired beyond a physical weariness he was so focused on his own misery he failed to hear the unmistakable sound of gunfire ripping through the air and it was only when a man with fear in his eyes ran directly into him that Joe raised his gaze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Their collision was brief but as Joe wheeled around he saw to his dismay a group of armed horsemen looming up in front of him, all yelling and shooting indiscriminately at anyone who moved within range.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Several prone figures were already laid along the road and it took an instant for Joe to realize what was happening and what danger he was in.\u00a0 Instinctively he went for his Army pistol only to suddenly recall all recruits venturing into town had been ordered to leave their weapons in the armoury until they returned to the fort.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Uttering a curse Joe turned to find protective shelter but it was already too late as an explosion suddenly rocked his upper body and a needle sharp pain tore across his head, the likes of which he\u2019d never experienced before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The gunmen swept past, the sound of hoof beats swiftly fading as they galloped out of town leaving Joe slumped on the ground in a heap, crumpled and still.\u00a0 And with his scalp flowing crimson at an unhealthy rate and blood trickling down the inside of his shirt, Joe\u2019s last lucid thought before the world turned a sinister shade of black, hell of a way to die!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After floating in a bottomless pit of nightmarish dreams Joe sensed hands adjusting a dishevelled blanket covering him.\u00a0 \u201cPa? Is that you?\u201d he asked in a sleepy whisper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a quiet chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s not your Pa Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s me\u2026 Henry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHenry?\u201d Joe\u2019s mind was sluggishly confused at the sound of his friend\u2019s voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhat you doing here?\u201d he croaked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWaiting for you to wake up and rejoin the land of the living at last.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019m not dead?\u201d Joe murmured with a faint hint of surprise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry heaved a sigh of relief.\u00a0 \u201cNo you ain\u2019t dead Joe but you came damn close,\u201d he said as he slumped down heavily on a straight-backed rocker at the side of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cAre you hurting anywhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no immediate reply as Joe slowly drifted back to full reality and considered.\u00a0 Every muscle seemed to ache and he felt a bandage strapped tight around his chest and a second about his head, covering his eyes and blocking his vision.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was then the memory of crazed gunfire and the searing heat from bullets hitting his upper body and skimming across his skull suddenly flooded back. \u201cApart from being dry mouthed and feeling like every inch of me has been kicked by a team of mules reckon not.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a smile Henry pushed back his chair and within moments Joe was propped up with a pillow behind his back and the rim of a glass placed at his mouth.\u00a0 He took a few long swallows, savouring the cool water, and though finding the liquid to have a slightly bitter taste he was too thirsty to care.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Soon the glass was empty and Henry returned it to a small washstand in the corner of the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling strength slowly returning to his body Joe raised an arm and tentatively fingered the bandage across his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cThis feels real weird.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you take it off so I can see what\u2019s going on? I didn\u2019t mind being in the dark when I was a little kid but having the whole world black sure is scary now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry sat back down by his side.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPatience Joseph,\u201d he admonished with a grin.\u00a0 \u201cDoctor\u2019s orders it\u2019s got to stay till the wound on your head heals but at least you have an excuse not to stare at my ugly face.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a feeble attempt at a smile and took stock of his surroundings; conscious of a strange quietness, the unusual comfort of his mattress and the warmth of a feather-filled bedcover.\u00a0 \u201cWhere am I?\u00a0 Sure ain\u2019t at the barracks lying on an Army cot in the infirmary.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Doc Levitt\u2019s place on the edge of town,\u201d Henry informed.\u00a0 \u201cMorgan, that\u2019s the doc\u2019s name, had us bring you here after you got shot.\u00a0 Considering the amount of blood you\u2019d lost he reckoned he couldn\u2019t waste time sending you up to the Army surgeon at the fort since you needed operating on immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was that close to dying?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHell Joe, we saw everything and thought you must be a goner.\u00a0 But the doc managed a mighty fine job patching you up and I was stood right behind him all the time, checking what he did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWatching my back, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry chuckled as Joe asked.\u00a0 \u201cAny idea who did the shooting and why?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The smile on Henry\u2019s face immediately hardened.\u00a0 \u201cSure do.\u00a0 Remember Matt Ballantine?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and shuddered at the recollection. \u201cBut what\u2019s he got to do with anything?\u00a0 He\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry leaned back in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cDead but not forgotten,\u201d he sneered disdainfully.\u00a0 \u201cAppears the last surviving Ballantine didn\u2019t take kindly to his Pa and brothers being hung so he and the rest of the gang decided to settle the score in the only way they knew how by shooting up the town.\u00a0 Last seen heading towards Missouri at a fast gallop and I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if they didn\u2019t end up joining Quantrill as well seeing as they\u2019re of the same murderous ilk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a moment Joe\u2019s thoughts turned inward as he found himself strangely empathising with the youngest Ballantine and could understand the reasons he\u2019d sought retribution for the loss of his family.\u00a0 Vengeance sure came in many bloody guises Joe silently reflected then let out a groan and grimaced as he shifted his weight around on the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoc left me with plenty of laudanum if you need it,\u201d Henry offered as he eyed him worriedly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks but I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 Just feel stiff after lying on my back side too long I guess,\u201d Joe responded with a sleepy sigh.\u00a0 \u201cIs the doc around?\u00a0 Reckon I need to thank him for his hospitality and keeping me amongst the living.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNope, he\u2019s out meeting his cousin off the afternoon stage.\u00a0 After her husband died in a fire a while back she felt the need to move away from Wisconsin and with no other family wrote to ask Morgan if she could stay with him for a while and help run his house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow come?\u00a0 Hasn\u2019t the doc got a wife to do that kind of thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAccording to Morgan he\u2019s married to his work so has been rattling around here on his own since he moved to the area years ago.\u201d\u00a0 Henry paused and looked about him; Joe\u2019s room simply decorated yet homely, as was the rest of the house.\u00a0 \u201cSure is a fine place though.\u00a0 I\u2019ve really enjoyed the home comforts and sleeping in a proper bed over the past days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been here since I was shot?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry smiled gently.\u00a0 \u201cWith you unconscious Morgan needed someone to keep an eye on you while he was out tending to his other patients.\u00a0 So I volunteered.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the Lieutenant was happy for you to do that?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was disbelieving.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry let out a snort of amusement.\u00a0 \u201cHe was real insistent I help out on compassionate grounds once I put in my request.\u00a0 Seems he had this crazy notion you and me were brothers seeing as we signed on at the same time with the same surname.\u00a0 Hadn\u2019t the heart to tell him different.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe couldn\u2019t help but chuckle and lifted a hand to scratch at his chin but stopped when he realised his face was clear of several days growth of whiskers.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019d I manage to get shaved?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry grinned proudly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m a man of many talents and didn\u2019t do a bad job if I say so myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks again.\u00a0 Seems all I ever do is end up owing you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry patted his arm.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t owe me a thing.\u00a0 I\u2019m only doing what any good friend or kin would do in such circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe remained silent, grateful the bandage hid the sting of indebted tears in his eyes as Henry continued.\u00a0 \u201cThose up at the fort still have you down as Jack McFarlane but I told Morgan your real handle and how you\u2019d suffered that amnesia though I didn\u2019t tell him much more about your past. And at least with his cousin arriving there\u2019ll be someone else here to nurse you from now on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean you\u2019re going back to the barracks?\u00a0 You\u2019re leaving me here alone?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Picking up on his anxious tone Henry sighed apologetically.\u00a0 \u201cWish I could stay but the Regiment\u2019s due to leave tomorrow.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you remember?\u00a0 We had our orders day before you got shot.\u00a0 But don\u2019t you worry any as Morgan\u2019s a real gentleman and a fine medical man and you couldn\u2019t be in better hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry then looked at him with a long considered stare.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t suppose you\u2019ve changed your mind about returning to Alkali have ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost immediately pain more acute than any physical injury welled up inside Joe once again, twisting his insides as the thought of what happened in that town returned to haunt him.\u00a0 \u201cNot a chance.\u00a0 Nothing and nobody is gonna stop me doing what I aim to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut ain\u2019t you worried what might happen afterwards?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean being strung up for my trouble?\u201d Joe answered, unable to disguise a nervous tremor in his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, that\u2019s exactly what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As a sliver of fear knotted in the pit of his stomach, Joe heaved a sigh.\u00a0 \u201cTo be honest Henry I\u2019m scared witless.\u00a0 But I won\u2019t rest \u2018til I\u2019ve seen them three murderers\u2019 dead by my hand and after that I don\u2019t much care what happens to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry shook his head sadly.\u00a0 He wanted Joe to have a future not end his days hanging from the end of a rope.\u00a0 But knowing his resolute determination to carry his plan through to the bitter end on his own, Henry pushed back his chair and walked over to the window, looking into the distance for a few moments.\u00a0 \u201cCan I ask you something Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you reckon your family would have made of you planning revenge on their behalf?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt a flush of remorse as a bleak reflective smile touched his lips.\u00a0 \u201cReckon none of them would approve or forgive me for it.\u00a0 Pa never believed in an eye for an eye and brought us all up to respect and abide by the law.\u00a0 It\u2019d probably break his heart to know what I aim to do but this time he isn\u2019t around to talk some sense into me like he\u2019s done in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a sad look of remembrance Henry nodded as he fingered the scar on his neck.\u00a0 \u201cReckon my Pa would have felt just the same about me,\u201d he agreed as he returned to sit down on the rocker just as they heard the sound of footsteps.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The door swung open and a big bull of a man in his early forties with thinning hair, a finely waxed moustache and wearing horn-rimmed glasses entered the room and looked between the two occupants.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By his massive appearance most would have thought him threatening but in fact Morgan Levitt was a gentle, kind and conscientious doctor, all his patients bar none respecting his straight no nonsense approach.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cKnew I\u2019d find you here Henry and by the looks of it our patient has come round at last and just at the right time!\u00a0 Met the sergeant in town and he told me to remind you to report back before sundown.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, hadn\u2019t forgotten,\u201d Henry replied with no enthusiasm at the thought.\u00a0 \u201cBut I told you it\u2019ll take more than a couple of bullets to kill Joe off!\u00a0 He\u2019s far too stubborn to die.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a smile the doctor made his way to the bed and introduced himself.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe turned his head in the direction of the gravelly but friendly voice.\u00a0 \u201cThanks for all you\u2019ve done for me.\u00a0 Henry tells me I wouldn\u2019t be around if it weren\u2019t for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan shook his head modestly.\u00a0 \u201cJust doing my job, though I have to say lady luck was on your side young man.\u00a0 If the bullet had gone a couple of inches lower in your chest I don\u2019t think even my skills would have saved you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He grasped Joe\u2019s wrist and took his pulse.\u00a0 \u201cWell that\u2019s normal at last, but you lost a lot of blood from both wounds so will need to lie quiet for a few days yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With no strength to argue Joe just gave a faint nod of compliance.<\/p>\n

\u201cHas your cousin arrived safe Morgan?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor turned his gaze from his patient and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes Henry and I would introduce you both but it\u2019s been a long journey from the family home and I insisted Kathryn take a nap straightaway.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow long since you last saw her?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan looked thoughtful for a few moments.\u00a0 \u201cOh, must be near on twenty years since I left Madison to train as a doctor.\u00a0 Kathryn was just a small child then, barely three years old.\u00a0 But she hasn\u2019t had it easy since she was born then losing both parents last year and married and made a widow so tragically within the space of a few months\u2026.well fortune hasn\u2019t been on her side and that\u2019s a fact.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As his face reflected sympathy Morgan suddenly clicked his fingers as if remembering something and walked over to a dresser where he pulled out a small brass bell then returned to press it in Joe\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cWith Henry leaving you\u2019ll need something to grab our attention till you\u2019re up and about.\u00a0 And as you\u2019ve suffered more than your fair share of trauma it\u2019ll save you wasting energy shouting.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Joe could thank him Henry butted in.\u00a0 \u201cHe ain\u2019t gonna be ringing that bell too much tonight Morgan.\u00a0 I put some of that powder in his drinking water like you instructed me to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat powder?\u201d Joe asked in puzzlement as a slight ripple of panic went through him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing to worry about,\u201d Morgan told him reassuringly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just a little something to make sure you continue to rest.\u00a0 Sleep\u2019s the best thing to help nature\u2019s healing process on the road to recovery.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor then looked over towards Henry.\u00a0 \u201cWell I\u2019d better go see what I can rustle up for supper though it won\u2019t be anything like your tasty stew.\u00a0 Sure am going to miss it and our late night chats as well.\u00a0 Just make sure you come visiting once you get back from your patrolling.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry nodded with a smile as the two men shook hands then the sound of the doctor\u2019s heavy footsteps quickly faded as he headed towards the kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost reluctantly Henry rose from his chair and began buttoning up his jacket.\u00a0 \u201cLooks like I\u2019m surplus to requirements around here now so reckon I\u2019ll get back to the barracks.\u00a0 Don\u2019t want to risk the sergeant sending out a search party.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sad to have him leave Joe nodded unhappily and Henry could see by the look on his face he seemed troubled.\u00a0 \u201cSomething wrong Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A deep sigh of regret sounded from the bed.\u00a0 \u201cFeel like I\u2019ve let the three of you down.\u00a0\u00a0 I should be heading out with you all tomorrow like we\u2019d planned.\u00a0 Trust me to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his voice showing no trace of censure Henry reached out a hand and touched Joe\u2019s arm in a show of sympathy.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t let no one down Joe.\u00a0 Weren\u2019t your fault, was just a quirk of fate like when you fell and lost your memory.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSuppose so, but it doesn\u2019t make it any easier to be the one left behind.\u00a0 Just make sure if the three of you get mixed up in any fighting you all watch your backs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Noting the urgent tone of concern in his voice, Henry\u2019s eyes softened.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry too much about us.\u00a0 There\u2019s a rumour going round Confederates forces have been seen heading towards the Mississippi so don\u2019t reckon our paths will cross over the next few weeks.\u00a0 But understand this Joe.\u00a0 We\u2019re due to return before your date of discharge so if you change your mind between now and then my offer to go back and help find them killers still stands and that goes for Daniel and Sam as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling a wave of tiredness sweeping over him Joe slowly and almost reluctantly shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cThanks Henry, believe me I really appreciate the offer but\u2026.but as long as I\u2019m able this is something I just have to do by myself and that\u2019s an end to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though frustrated at Joe\u2019s inflexibility Henry gave his bare shoulder a gentle affectionate squeeze before walking across the hall to his room where he busied himself for a few minutes by packing away the few belongings he\u2019d brought down from the fort into a bag.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once finished as he returned to say his farewells a thought suddenly came to him.\u00a0 \u201cJust out of interest, with your memory back, care to tell me if you are somewhat of a Southern sympathiser Joe?\u00a0 It\u2019ll be just between the two of us\u2026our secret.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no movement or response and from where he stood Henry could now see the figure on the bed was fast asleep.\u00a0 \u201cNever mind, it\u2019ll keep till next time.\u00a0 Sweet dreams little brother,\u201d he whispered and taking hold of the handle quietly closed the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 2:<\/p>\n

Joe had no idea how long he slept but the sound of muffled voices in conversation outside his room eventually stirred him.\u00a0 For a few moments he imagined himself back on the Ponderosa, the voices he heard those of Adam and Hoss as they made their way downstairs for breakfast.\u00a0 He sniffed the air expectantly; hoping to savour a waft of Hop Sing\u2019s freshly made bread, fried bacon and coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But as he became more aware and went to wipe a hand across his eyes Joe felt the bandage and was brought back to reality with a painful thud.\u00a0 His lower lip trembled as he remembered his father was dead, his brothers were dead; they were gone and he\u2019d never see them again.\u00a0 At least not in this world Joe brooded bitterly and banged his hands down hard on the mattress in frustration.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a dull clunking sound as a metal object fell to the floor and almost immediately Joe heard one set of footsteps go down the stairs and turned his head as the bedroom door creaked opened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh, good to see you\u2019ve woken at last young man,\u201d Doctor Levitt said as his eyes focused on the brass bell now lying by the side of the bed.\u00a0 He picked it up and placed it by Joe\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cI was beginning to wonder if Henry had given you a double dose seeing as you\u2019ve nearly slept the clock around.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs it that late?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell past noon,\u201d Morgan answered as he went to the window and opened it slightly. \u201cHow do you feel today?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ignoring a dull ache in his chest but visibly agitated as he shifted on the bed Joe\u2019s cheeks reddened slightly.\u00a0 \u201cMuch better thanks\u2026but, well, truth is I really want to\u2026you know, go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan flicked a glance at his patient and gave a knowing smile.\u00a0 \u201cOf course,\u201d he acknowledged and turned to pull out a weighty ceramic bedpan from under the washstand.\u00a0 And a short while later with nature\u2019s call tended to the doctor returned the cleaned out pan to its allotted shelf.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clearly embarrassed by the procedure Joe gave a sigh as he adjusted his long johns beneath the bedcover.\u00a0 \u201cI hate being like this, unable to shave or even pee without someone\u2019s help,\u201d he murmured miserably.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure that bullet crease ain\u2019t healed by now so I can be rid of this damn bandage around my head?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Joe but it\u2019s up to Mother Nature to set you right and she isn\u2019t one for being rushed and nor am I.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though the words were not what he wanted to hear Joe sighed resignedly and knew there was no point arguing further.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s just what my Pa used to tell me as well,\u201d he murmured as the image of his father\u2019s worried face staring down at him on many occasions came to mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan nodded distractedly as he opened his medical bag which was set down on a small table and rummaged in it for several seconds.\u00a0 Finally he took out a pair of scissors.\u00a0 \u201cRight Joe, now that you\u2019ve got some strength back it\u2019s time to check on your other injury,\u201d he said and with large but gentle hands helped him sit forward then snipped at the binding around his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once removed the doctor looked closely at his handiwork and gave a silent nod of satisfaction, and minutes later with fresh padding and bandage secured Joe sank slowly back on his pillow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust as I expected, all is mending nicely,\u201d Morgan informed.\u00a0 \u201cYou may have a little discomfort for a short while yet, but it will gradually ease.\u00a0 And as long as you continue to rest at this rate of progress you\u2019ll be up and about in no time and I\u2019ll be able to sign you medically fit to return to barracks well before your fellow volunteers return.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo they\u2019ve gone?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan clicked his bag shut and sat down on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I heard them leave a few hours ago. But Henry dropped off all your gear before he left as he didn\u2019t want to risk it going missing with the barracks being left empty.\u00a0 I\u2019ll bring the knapsack up later and store it under your bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt a deep pang of disappointment to have missed him.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s been a real good friend along with Sam and Daniel.\u00a0 Did you know they saved my life a few months back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 Henry explained how you met and then travelled to Fort Leavenworth together to enlist.\u00a0 Though he did tell me since your memory returned you\u2019re intending on applying for discharge and leaving the area come October.\u00a0 Is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt his body tense as thoughts centred again on the reason for his return.\u00a0 He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI remembered I\u2019ve got me some unfinished business in Nevada I need to deal with.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell if it\u2019s made you decide to leave your friends and the military behind it must be pretty serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt is,\u201d Joe replied and there was an awkward silence for a few moments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan could see he wasn\u2019t going to get any more out of him so he took off his spectacles and began to polish them with a linen handkerchief.\u00a0 \u201cOh, before I forget, I put the cash that was in the pocket of your Army shirt under your mattress, just in case you wonder where it went.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled gratefully.\u00a0 \u201cIt never crossed my mind but thanks,\u201d he said, appreciating the doctor\u2019s honesty.\u00a0 Then his expression turned serious as a thought came to him.\u00a0 \u201cWith all you\u2019ve had to do for me reckon I must have sized up quite a bill so you better help yourself to what\u2019s owed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about the finances Joe.\u00a0 I usually charge the military up at the fort once I\u2019ve finished treating any of their men for sickness or injury, but in your case all medical expenses have already been paid in full.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mystified Joe frowned with bewilderment.\u00a0 \u201cThey have?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan replaced his glasses.\u00a0 \u201cWhen Henry came round this morning he left more than enough money to cover your care saying he insisted on paying for all the doctoring I\u2019d done.\u00a0 I tried to explain it wasn\u2019t necessary but he was adamant and wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mouth dropped open in surprise.\u00a0 \u201cBut why\u2019d he want to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan gave a knowing smile.\u00a0 \u201cHenry once told me you were the nearest thing to kid brother he\u2019d had in over twenty years.\u00a0 So reckon it was something he wanted to do, just as he would have done for his own kin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Genuinely touched by Henry\u2019s action Joe nodded. \u201cTold you he was a good friend,\u201d he said and then heaved a pitiful sigh.\u00a0 \u201cReckon he\u2019s the nearest thing to a brother I\u2019ll ever have now as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slightly taken aback at his sorrowful tone Morgan gazed at Joe thoughtfully for a few moments, curious to know the underlying reasons for his obvious sadness but intuitively sensing any explanations would be a long time coming.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He took out a pocket watch from his waistcoat and looked at the time.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to have to leave you for a couple of hours while I check on my other patients, but I\u2019ll get Kathryn to rustle you up a light snack and she can sit with you if you feel up to some company.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though he wasn\u2019t in an overly chatty mood Joe nodded out of politeness. \u201cThanks Doctor Levitt.\u00a0 That\u2019ll be real nice.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease Joe call me Morgan.\u00a0 I like to keep things informal around my own home,\u201d the doctor said and after smoothing the rumpled bed cover he picked up his bag and made towards the door.\u00a0 \u201cAnd by the way, when I\u2019m not around Kathryn is in charge so if you need anything – and I mean anything – just ring that bell.\u00a0 She had to take care of her parents before they died so she knows exactly what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Turning his head towards the sound of the bedroom door closing Joe suddenly realized what had been implied when he needed to use the bedpan again.\u00a0 With a groan he sank down onto the pillow.\u00a0 Thank heavens the bandage around his head would be removed soon then at least he\u2019d be able to see again to his own personal needs, and as far as he was concerned that time couldn\u2019t come quick enough!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over the next few days of enforced darkness Joe grew increasingly grumpy and irritable; the fate of his family continually casting a shadow of melancholy within him.\u00a0 But as the midday sun shone through the window and he strummed his fingers on the bedcover in rhythmic frustration and boredom, for a few moments his thoughts centred for once on Kathryn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019d liked her from their first meeting and though unable to see her face imagined it pretty, as yet unmarked by age with a sweet and friendly smile.\u00a0 Though never mentioning the loss of her husband they chatted at times like old friends, Kathryn quietly tolerant of his petulant and tetchy behaviour and putting Joe instantly at ease while helping out with his daily ablutions as if sensing the humiliation he felt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a flash of shame Joe suddenly realised words of thanks for what she did for him hadn\u2019t come often as he\u2019d concentrated on his own troubles.\u00a0 If only they\u2019d met under different circumstances, in happier times, they might have had a future together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed, having no desire to dwell on what might have been.\u00a0 For after he\u2019d done what he had to do he knew with frightening certainty he\u2019d have no future.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Footsteps echoed on the stairs and a soft spoken voice sounded in the doorway.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve made my special chicken soup for lunch.\u00a0 Can you manage or do you want some help?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI keep telling you I\u2019m more than capable of putting food in my own mouth,\u201d Joe answered curtly as a tray was laid on his lap.\u00a0 But immediately he regretted his outburst.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry. There I go again, whining like a little kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn\u2019s mouth twitched good-naturedly towards the handsome young soldier on the bed. \u201cI understand,\u201d she smiled as she placed a spoon in one hand and a napkin in the other then stepped back.\u00a0 \u201cMind it\u2019s hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded a response at the warning and Kathryn settled down by the window, tapping her foot on the pine planked floor as she swayed backwards and forwards in the rocking chair watching him.<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d accepted from the beginning Joe\u2019s bad temper was probably fuelled by his embarrassment at having to be treated like a helpless baby while in her care.\u00a0 However after observing closely for the past week Kathryn decided Morgan was right in what he\u2019d said and there was another more serious underlying reason for Joe\u2019s surly behaviour; something from his past that was playing on his mind but which he refused to discuss with either of them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn gave a sigh, seeing much irony in the fact there were some things from her past she couldn\u2019t bring herself to discuss with Joe as well.\u00a0 Only Morgan knew what happened in Wisconsin but what had been done was done so what use now to rake it all up for the sake of conversation?\u00a0 Yet for a short while Kathryn barely noticed the motion of the rocker as she wished the heartbreaking memories which had re-emerged uninvited from the depths of her brain would just fade away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, that was delicious,\u201d Joe conceded as he dropped the spoon into the empty bowl then dabbed the napkin at his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cSure beats what was dished up at the fort.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaken from her unhappy reverie Kathryn looked over with a forced cheeriness.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so glad you enjoyed it,\u201d she sighed in mock relief.\u00a0 \u201cI made enough to feed the army and didn\u2019t like the thought of having to force-feed you for the foreseeable future to get rid of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe began to chuckle just as footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and Morgan\u2019s great bulk suddenly filled the doorway.\u00a0 He stood without speaking for a moment, staring over at the figure on the bed with a thoughtful gaze.\u00a0 \u201cWell by the sounds of it you\u2019re in a better mood for once Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his expression returning sullen Joe pointed towards the binding around his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be in an even better mood once this is gone.\u00a0 And I swear if I have to lie on this mattress much longer I\u2019ll sprout roots!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well used to his fiery responses Morgan gave a loud chortle.\u00a0 \u201cVery well, if it\u2019s the only way to keep you off my back I\u2019ll remove the bandage today and then we\u2019ll see about getting you out of bed to sit outside on the porch for a short while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally? You mean it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Joe, I mean it.\u00a0 From what I saw yesterday the wound on your chest is well healed and fresh air will do you the world of good after being confined indoors.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe beamed a rare smile at the welcomed news.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Morgan, are you sure that\u2019s wise?\u201d Kathryn asked as she exchanged a pleading glance with him.\u00a0 \u201cShouldn\u2019t you wait a couple of more days at least?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan shook his head decisively, however his facial expression showed sympathy and understanding as he gave her a perceptive look.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been overly cautious as it is Kathryn and there\u2019s no point putting it off any longer. We can hardly keep Joe in darkness forever now, can we?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn stared at him for a brief instant then gave a faint nod of agreement. \u201cNo of course not, you\u2019re quite right,\u201d she answered, pushing from her seat and picking up the tray off Joe\u2019s lap.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll bring up some coffee in a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As she walked out of the room Morgan gazed after her with a sympathetic paternal shake of the head.\u00a0 Poor Kathryn.\u00a0 She knew Joe would be rid of the bandage one day.\u00a0 But knowing something and having to face the reality of it was two entirely different things.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry I\u2019ve been such a pain lately.\u00a0 Never have been the most patient of patients since I was a little kid.\u00a0 Hard habit to break I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearing the apology directed towards him Morgan shook thoughts of his cousin away and closed the door.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ve grown used to dealing with all manner of cantankerous individuals over the years and believe me you\u2019re not the worst\u2026though you\u2019ve come close,\u201d he joked with a chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cNow let\u2019s see about removing that dressing so you can view the world once more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With trembling hands Kathryn set down the tray on the kitchen table.\u00a0 From upstairs she heard muffled voices, imagined Morgan removing the bandage around Joe\u2019s eyes and felt a rising sense of panic inside her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStop it,\u201d<\/em> she told herself sharply.\u00a0 \u201cStop being so stupid! Morgan told you this day would come so you\u2019ll just have to accept the outcome, whatever it may be.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The personal reprimand concentrated her thoughts and getting on with the job at hand she began washing up a collection of dirty pots and dishes.\u00a0 But once finished Kathryn\u2019s eyes were drawn to a small shaving mirror fixed above the sink.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath she forced herself to take a long hard look at her reflection; to see herself as others saw her.\u00a0 The sight was the same as always.\u00a0 It was like looking at two different women.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The left side of her face was smooth and unblemished with a creamy complexion which complemented her dark brown hair and deep green eyes.\u00a0 Anyone would be hard pressed to describe her as nothing short of beautiful.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However the other half was as far removed from a mirror image as could be imagined, the right side showing disfigurement to a point of ugliness as a raised birthmark of mottled skin stretched down from her hairline covering cheek and chin before disappearing from sight under the high necked collar of her blouse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn sighed and wiping damp hands dry on the sides of her apron she sank down on a chair.\u00a0 In no rush to return upstairs she stared absently into space, allowing her thoughts to drift.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Born late in their marriage she\u2019d been blessed with loving parents who tried to protect their daughter as best they could from those ignorant enough to view her appearance as a freak of nature; someone to be mocked or feared.\u00a0 But when she lost her mother due to a bout of influenza and then shortly afterwards her father with the same, Kathryn had been left to face the world and its cruel intolerance alone.<\/p>\n

Finding herself ridiculed by drunken cowboys and insolent undisciplined children who openly made fun of her appearance and gave cruel taunts as she passed by, she soon learned to keep herself to herself, resigned to only having a long life of loneliness in front of her.\u00a0 So it was hardly surprising she\u2019d been swept off her feet by a charismatic and smooth talking young man hired to work on the family farm a short while before her father died.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A couple of years older than Kathryn, Patrick Royce provided compassion and a sympathetic shoulder to cry on as she dealt with her grief and loss. And showing moments of tender affection he eventually declared he loved her and when he asked her to be his wife, Kathryn had unhesitatingly and naively said yes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But any dreams of happy-ever-after only lasted a brief while when Patrick made it plain after taking away her innocence he\u2019d only married her to get his hands on any inheritance and mockingly laughing only a blind man would ever want her for herself looking the way she did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Broken-hearted and with her self-esteem at an all time low Kathryn then had to endure anguish of a different hue when over the next few months Patrick took advantage of the law and as her husband he spent the money left her with wild abandon as if it were his own.\u00a0 Ignoring the farm, gambling became the major part of his daily routine then returning home drunk and usually with a fist of greeting before he forced himself on his unwilling wife as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Running a hand down her arm where purple bruises had once covered every inch of skin, Kathryn winced at the memory of an unusually vicious attack which caused her to lose their unborn child; Patrick\u2019s death a day later coming as both a blessing and relief to the far from grieving widow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn shuddered, recollections of that day still vivid \u2013 the glow of flames from the barn, the smell of burning hay and wood, screams from her drunken husband as the blaze consumed him. And after such a bittersweet tragedy it was hardly surprising she\u2019d sold up, keen to get away from the once loving home which now held such unhappy memories of humiliation, abuse and death.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan had been very supportive and reassuring when he\u2019d found out the full extent of suffering she\u2019d gone through, telling her Patrick was a one-off to treat her that way.\u00a0 But knowing within a few minutes Joe would be able to see her face for the first time, suddenly her dead husband\u2019s spiteful words repeated once more in her head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No sane man would ever give you the time of day looking the way you do. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

After striking up a friendly and comfortable rapport with Joe Kathryn\u2019s insides churned at the thought of their easygoing relationship being shattered.\u00a0 Would he now view her in the same way as Patrick with his lip curled in revulsion and his eyes narrowed with disgust at her facial deformity?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Or would it be too much to hope his reaction to be completely different and he\u2019d only notice the gentle caring woman hidden beneath the cruelly flawed and imperfect skin instead?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn shivered and with a tremendous effort got to her feet and made towards the stove.\u00a0 \u201cWell if he doesn\u2019t it won\u2019t matter,\u201d<\/em> she muttered to herself as she lifted up a large copper kettle and poured boiling water into a coffee pot.\u00a0 Though with the sound of Patrick\u2019s contemptuous laughter ringing in her ears, Kathryn knew it would matter; matter a whole lot more than she\u2019d care to admit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walking slowly up the stairs Kathryn paused at the bedroom door for a brief moment, bracing herself for what was to come before putting on her bravest smile and pushing it open.\u00a0 However the sight that greeted her was far from what she\u2019d expected as both men were so absorbed in their own thoughts neither seemed to hear or notice her enter the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan was sat by the window staring into space while Joe lay on the bed, still propped up on crumpled pillows and his bandage-free face set as if in stone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a feeling of apprehension Kathryn placed the tray of steaming hot coffee on the table then looked between them both.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silence was her only answer for several seconds and frowning in confusion Kathryn turned to her cousin for explanation.\u00a0 \u201cMorgan?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a deep sigh he returned her gaze.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t realise at the time but the bullet that creased Joe\u2019s skull must have gone deeper than I thought and cut through the optic nerve.\u00a0 Such damage almost always results in loss of vision.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut surely there\u2019s something that can be done?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan leaned back in his chair. \u2018Not by me. I can work wonders sometimes but can\u2019t do miracles,\u2019<\/em> he silently thought as he shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve read of a few instances when the nerve endings have inexplicably knit back together for no apparent reason and sight has been restored.\u00a0 But such cases are very rare and only happen to the lucky few and I wouldn\u2019t like to give Joe false hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn looked back towards the bed.\u00a0 For her own selfish reasons she\u2019d hoped to delay the moment when Joe saw her but never in a million years would she wish such a devastating condition on him. \u00a0She laid a comforting hand on his arm and gave a gentle squeeze then with tear-filled eyes left the room without another word.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scarcely aware of her leaving as the doctor\u2019s diagnosis reverberated around and around in his brain, the thought of being in a permanent state of total darkness suddenly hit Joe with the abruptness of an unexpected punch in the gut.\u00a0 He exhaled loudly.\u00a0 \u201cWell Morgan, you\u2019ve got one hell of a bedside manner.\u00a0 Do you always tell it like it is?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan pushed up from his seat.\u00a0 \u201cFrom experience I\u2019ve found it best to be honest with my patients,\u201d he admitted as he looked down at the cooling black coffee for a few moments.\u00a0 But ignoring it he pulled out a bottle from a cupboard above the washstand instead.\u00a0 If ever a drink were needed, it\u2019s now.\u00a0 And not just one, several, he thought as he poured out the contents into a couple of glasses before placing one in Joe\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u00a0 More powder to make me sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan gave a faint smile.\u00a0 \u201cNot this time Joe.\u00a0 Reckon we both deserve a different sort of medication today,\u201d he replied and gulped down a large measure of brandy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without hesitation Joe followed suit, the golden coloured liquid warming the back of his mouth as it slipped smoothly all the way down his throat.\u00a0 He gave a gasp of appreciation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan replenished both glasses and pulled his chair closer to the bed. He sipped at his drink as he figured out what to do next then took a final long swallow when a decision was made.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go see the Colonel first thing tomorrow and he can sort out the paperwork regarding your medical discharge.\u00a0 And of course you can stay here for as long as you want so don\u2019t worry on that score.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Draining his glass Joe hardly took in a word what was said as the cold stark realisation he was now blind swirled in his head.\u00a0 But only one thought was on his mind; without his sight how the hell could he manage to find then exact his revenge on those three men from Alkali now?\u00a0 His thoughts raced frantically then suddenly an idea formed in his mind and the answer came to him in a flash.\u00a0 Of course!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u00a0 Did you hear what I just told you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sound of a worried voice jerked Joe out of his jumbled thoughts. \u00a0\u201cSorry, I was miles away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan studied Joe with slight disquiet.\u00a0 He\u2019d expected a show of anger\u2026fear\u2026even tears but for someone who\u2019d just been given such devastating news he seemed to be taking it all overly calmly.\u00a0 Maybe he hadn\u2019t considered the many restrictions and problems he\u2019d now have to deal with for the rest of his life, so leaning forward in his chair he laid a hand on Joe\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI realise this has been a big shock and a lot to take in at once but I don\u2019t want you to be fearful about your future.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure those up at the fort know what\u2019s happened and you can live here for as long as you need.\u00a0 It will take a while to get used to being without sight, but I\u2019m sure with some training you\u2019ll soon be capable of doing most things for yourself.\u00a0 Did you know there\u2019s even been a system called Braille invented where the blind can be taught to read and write?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief lapse of silence as Joe let a faint disbelieving smile at the thought play at the corner of his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s the truth.\u00a0 I have a very old friend who is helping to run a school for the blind with his wife.\u00a0 He sent me papers about it.\u00a0 They\u2019re gathering dust in my office somewhere but I\u2019ll hunt them out and I\u2019m sure with Kathryn\u2019s help you\u2019ll master the technique within a few months.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cThanks but I don\u2019t reckon I\u2019ll bother.\u00a0 Never was one for reading or letter writing even when I could see.\u201d\u00a0 He then gave a wan smile as a past memory suddenly flooded back.\u00a0 \u201cMy brother Adam was the book lover in our family; any chance he got he\u2019d have his nose buried in some novel or other.\u00a0 I remember once\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With Morgan staring thoughtfully at him Joe stopped abruptly and swallowed hard, the recollection too painful to go on.\u00a0 He shook his head again.\u00a0 \u201cLike I said, won\u2019t have the need as I\u2019m only sticking around till mid-October then I\u2019ll be heading for Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNevada?\u201d\u00a0 Morgan now looked at him as if he were mad.\u00a0 \u201cJoe hasn\u2019t the fact you\u2019re now blind managed to penetrate into that thick skull of yours yet? The idea is just plumb crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a hollow laugh at the doctor\u2019s bluntness.\u00a0 \u201cYou certainly pull no punches and that\u2019s a fact!\u00a0 But nothing and nobody is going to stop me going back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a sigh of exasperation Morgan refused to be fobbed off so easily.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t go travelling half way across the country on your own Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019d be a target for any unscrupulous thief or worse!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave an appreciative smile.\u00a0 \u201cThanks for your concern but you don\u2019t need to worry about me as I won\u2019t be alone.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have three good friends for company all the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan stared at him with a frown.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean Henry, Daniel and Sam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a confident nod.\u00a0 \u201cThey offered to come back with me one time and they won\u2019t let me down now.\u00a0 Just need them to finish their ninety days service with the Militia then reckon if we take the overland stage we should be back in Nevada well before winter sets in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what\u2019s the rush?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unexpectedly unseeing eyes hardened determinedly.\u00a0 \u201cLike I once told you there\u2019s some unfinished business, family business if you must know, that needs my personal attention.\u00a0 And until it\u2019s sorted I can\u2019t, won\u2019t rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan arched an eyebrow.\u00a0 Joe had been strangely reticent and unwilling to talk about anything from his past, though once fleetingly mentioning a ranch near Virginia City where he was brought up and a father and brothers now passed away before clamming up as a look of indefinable anguish flittered across his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Could that be the reason he was drawn back to Nevada?\u00a0 Had it something to do with his kin now supposedly dead?\u00a0 But Morgan knew from experience there was no point trying to pry any further information out of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry once said Joe was stubborn.\u00a0 The doctor heaved a heavy sigh.\u00a0 Add to that an enigma and never had truer words been said!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Six weeks later while sitting in the kitchen a look of shock rippled across Kathryn\u2019s face as she handed a hastily scrawled letter back to her cousin who folded it carefully and placed it in his pocket.\u00a0 \u201cAre you going to tell him now or wait until the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Visibly worn out after attending a difficult birth for most of the day and only returning home when he was sure mother and baby were going to be fine Morgan looked at her across the table as he stifled a yawn.\u00a0 All he really wanted to do was lay his head on a pillow and sleep.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you think there\u2019s any point at this hour Kathryn?\u00a0 It is nearly midnight after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell he told me he spends most of the night awake waiting for the dawn to break.\u00a0 Too much going around in his mind as he thinks about his journey I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan nodded having noticed the tell-tale signs of dark circles forming under tired hazel coloured eyes.\u00a0 He removed his spectacles and ran a hand over his face.\u00a0 \u201cAh well, no point putting it off then. Whether tonight or tomorrow it won\u2019t make any difference to what has to be told.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn sighed. \u201cHow do you think he\u2019ll take the news?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing full well the implications Morgan pondered reflectively for a moment as he replaced his glasses and heaved himself to his feet. \u201cBadly,\u201d he finally answered and with his broad shoulders slumped and suddenly looking a whole lot older he picked up an oil lamp and slowly made his way into the hall and up the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As his body ached for sleep, not for the first time Joe\u2019s brooding thoughts after retiring to bed concentrated on the fate of his Pa and brothers.\u00a0 And with an irrational conviction their deaths were in no small part due to his failure to fetch help, the feeling of guilt always came alive in the quiet of night and swirled his insides until he felt nauseous and sick to the stomach.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It added to the store of hatred building up inside him towards the men in Alkali; Joe\u2019s only solace that kept him sane in his world of black the thought of seeking his revenge in the near future.\u00a0 For now officially discharged from the Militia and the Regiment due back within days, he\u2019d had plenty of time to think and plan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All Henry, Sam and Daniel needed to do when they\u2019d arrived back in Nevada was help him hunt down his prey wherever they may be then set up the all important shots of premeditated retribution.\u00a0 For though he wouldn\u2019t be able to see the look of terror in the eyes of his victims as they stared down the barrel of his gun, at least Joe would have the satisfaction of hearing their screams for mercy before he squeezed the trigger and sent them on their final journey to Hell.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After that his friends could disappear with his blessing, leaving him to face his fate alone.\u00a0 For as far as Joe was concerned once his job was done the devil could take him for all he cared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just then a quiet tap sounded on the door and shaken from his thoughts Joe turned his head as he heard it creak open.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStill awake?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slightly surprised at his late night visitor Joe nodded and Morgan placed the lamp on the dressing table then looked down at the recumbent figure with a sombre gaze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Having warmed to the young man over the past weeks Morgan conceded Joe had come a long way since the bandage around his eyes had been removed and he\u2019d been made aware of his life-changing disability.\u00a0 For as his strength was restored he seemed to quickly come to terms with his blindness, showing no signs of self-pity or despair at his situation and refusing to spend the days moping in bed.<\/p>\n

Instead he\u2019d soon regained some semblance of independence, managing to dress himself and find his way around the house and to the outhouse by way of touch and a walking stick held in front of him.\u00a0 He\u2019d even learned to shave under Kathryn\u2019s close instruction, though as Morgan noticed Joe\u2019s slightly scarred chin he couldn\u2019t help but think he\u2019d need a whole lot more practice before left on his own to complete that chore.<\/p>\n

Morgan was in no doubt Joe\u2019s determination to head back to Nevada had spurred him on in his pursuit of self-reliance but still the reason for returning was a mystery \u2013 a well-kept secret he\u2019d refused to divulge. Taking a deep breath he steeled himself for the task now before him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bemused at his questioning seeing as they\u2019d breakfasted together and chatted on the same subject hours before, Joe pushed up further on the pillow.\u00a0 \u201cSame as the last time you asked.\u00a0 Other than not able to see never felt better,\u201d he replied wryly, sarcasm unmistakable though immediately he felt a pang of regret for saying it.\u00a0 After all he\u2019d done for him, Morgan deserved better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However ignoring the gibe Morgan eased down on the edge of the bed and cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I had some correspondence from a Private Johnson waiting for me when I got home tonight.\u00a0 Do you remember him?\u201d he asked as he pulled out a single sheet of paper from his pocket and unfolded it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a quizzical frown Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I remember Seth\u2026skinny kid, always looked as if he were scared of his own shadow. But how come he wrote to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTruth is the letter was addressed to you up at the barracks, but the postal orderly knew you were staying here so had it redirected to me.\u00a0 Hope you don\u2019t mind but I took the liberty of opening it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged but shifted uneasily.\u00a0 \u201cWell it\u2019s not as though I could read it myself.\u00a0 So what did Johnson have to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The answer was a long time coming; Morgan strangely reticent as he continued to stare down at the note for several seconds. \u201cFact is as he knew Daniel and Sam were good friends of yours and was under the impression Henry and you were closely related.\u201d He paused for a brief moment.\u00a0 \u201cWell he thought it only right you\u2019d want to know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shuddered with apprehension.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d want to know what?\u201d he interrupted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan sighed.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s no easy way to tell you this Joe.\u00a0 Your Regiment came up against a couple of units of Confederates on the southern Missouri border around the end of September. There was a direct hit on one of the Union gun emplacements from enemy cannon during the attack.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid the men manning it didn\u2019t stand a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief tense silence.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean Daniel, Sam and\u2026and Henry?\u201d Joe eventually asked in a whisper.\u00a0 \u201cIs that what you\u2019re trying to tell me?\u00a0 They\u2019re all dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing the significance of what he was about to say Morgan laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYes. I\u2019m sorry Joe. They\u2019re gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor looked back down at the paper and continued.\u00a0 \u201cAccording to Johnson\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Morgan froze and snapped his mouth shut as he realised he\u2019d just been about to give out the harrowing account of the final minutes of suffering endured by the severely injured men as they lay dying on the field of battle. \u00a0Even his stomach had churned when he\u2019d read Johnson\u2019s letter, the young soldier reporting every gruesome detail as if to try and lessen the horror of it all in his own mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan glanced back at Joe, his empty eyes glistening wet with sorrow in the lamplight.\u00a0 So seeing no point in adding to his misery and with no qualms of guilt the doctor added a lie.\u00a0 \u201cAccording to Johnson he wanted you to know they wouldn\u2019t have felt a thing.\u00a0 He saw what happened and death was instant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan stuffed the paper back in his pocket and Joe wiped a hand across a suspiciously damp face as the realisation they weren\u2019t coming back hit him.\u00a0 \u201cI should have been there, might have made a difference.\u00a0 Instead I\u2019m lying here on my butt like some cowardly invalid.\u00a0 After all they did for me some friend I\u2019ve turned out to be,\u201d he said, his voice breaking with the misery of it all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sensing he was assuming some sort of foolish culpability Morgan looked at him steadily.\u00a0 \u201cNo point blaming yourself Joe. \u00a0They signed up to fight knowing the risks and chances are if you\u2019d been with them you\u2019d have probably died as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However there was no response as Joe closed his eyes and became clearly absorbed in new miserable thoughts of his own.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over the past weeks he\u2019d been driven by one concentrated purpose; vengeance.\u00a0 But suddenly all his plans were in tatters, for without the help of his friends he\u2019d never be able to take his personal murderous revenge on those who\u2019d robbed him of his Pa and brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The realisation was too much and to Morgan\u2019s surprise for the first time Joe unleashed a show of bitterness at his condition; banging his fists down by his side over and over again in a white-hot rage of anger, cursing his blindness and the fact he was still alive when all those he cared for were dead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan heaved a heavy sigh knowing Joe\u2019s physical wounds may have healed but now he\u2019d been struck down by something much harder to treat; inconsolable grief.\u00a0 He pushed up from the bed and moments later he placed a glass of water containing a sleeping draught into his hand.\u00a0 \u201cHere Joe, drink this.\u00a0 After the shock you\u2019ve had it should help you settle for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t want\u2026\u201d Joe began and then stopped abruptly as he felt strong yet gentle fingers squeezing his shoulder.\u00a0 He sighed resigned, and without further protestation he swallowed down the liquid, barely aware of the unpleasant taste as it flowed down his throat. The glass was then taken from his grasp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow try and get some sleep,\u201d Morgan softly ordered as he picked up the lamp, knowing the double dose of powder would soon have the desired effect and send him into a deep, drug induced slumber.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll talk more tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave the faintest of nods and with a final uneasy gaze towards him Morgan closed the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The clock in the hallway ticked the seconds away as Joe sat at the kitchen table, a mug of coffee cradled in his hands.\u00a0 The sleeping powder may have worked its magic for several hours but he still felt drained, his head thumping painfully and his mind tortured.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before he fell asleep he\u2019d prayed not to wake and felt unashamed remorse when he did, for it was a cold reminder he was still alive.\u00a0 Unlike the ill-fated souls who\u2019d visited him in his nightmarish dreams; three ghostly shapes mangled and bleeding on the battlefield; three eerie figures hanging by the neck from a rope, eyes bulging, tongues swollen purple.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How long would he have to suffer the same guilt-induced visions each time he slept?\u00a0 A week, a month, a year?\u00a0 Joe suppressed a shiver at the thought\u2026once was more than enough.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With her eyes staring at him with tender affection Kathryn swallowed nervously.\u00a0 For Joe hadn\u2019t said a word since making his way into the kitchen; his unshaven face gaunt and showing a haunted expression.\u00a0 He was clearly struggling to come to terms with the death of his friends and Kathryn\u2019s heart went out to him, but finally the unnerving stillness between them became too much to bear.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure I can\u2019t fix you some breakfast Joe?\u00a0 It won\u2019t be any bother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his brooding thoughts interrupted Joe shook his head before draining his cup dry, barely noticing the contents were stone cold.\u00a0 Then his sad expression became even sadder as he gently fingered the sleeve of his shirt in a poignant way and found his voice for the first time that morning.\u00a0 \u201cThis was Henry\u2019s.\u00a0 All I\u2019ve got to remember him by.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn\u2019s expression showed sympathy. \u201cBut from what you told me of your time together I\u2019m sure you must have some good and happy memories you can keep forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She paused for a moment but though there was no reaction went on in an attempt to give him something positive to hold onto. \u201cI realise your friends won\u2019t be able to keep you company on the journey, but if you still want to go back to Nevada I\u2019m sure Morgan will think of a way once he gets back from town.\u00a0 You still want to go back, don\u2019t you Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The question hung in the air between them for several seconds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had never told Kathryn or Morgan why he was so intent on returning, the details too painful to disclose.\u00a0 But after all that had happened there didn\u2019t seem any point in keeping it a secret any longer. \u00a0\u201cI was only returning to get me some personal cold-blooded vigilante justice when I got there,\u201d he admitted with no sign of remorse.\u00a0 \u201cYou reckon Morgan would be willing to help me knowing that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a gasp Kathryn\u2019s eyes widened in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cYou were planning on killing someone?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDamn right I was,\u201d Joe hissed and there was a moment of weighed silence before he continued.\u00a0 \u201cThree men had my Pa and brothers strung up for a crime they didn\u2019t commit.\u00a0 Planned on getting even and after losing my sight figured on Henry, Sam and Daniel\u2019s help, but then they\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the thought of his friends now dead Joe swallowed hard, unable to continue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh Joe, I\u2019m so sorry, that\u2019s terrible,\u201d Kathryn whispered, truly appalled by his disclosure. Then a sickening thought suddenly came to her. \u201cYou\u2026you didn\u2019t see your family hung did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard her hesitation and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cBut I can\u2019t stop picturing it again and again in my mind,\u201d he admitted despondently and wiped a hand across stinging eyes. \u00a0\u201cI failed my Pa and brothers.\u00a0 Couldn\u2019t save them and now I can\u2019t settle the score on their behalf.\u00a0 Let them down, like I let Henry Sam and Daniel down. \u00a0Getting to think I deserve to be dead instead of being the only one left living.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearing his hopelessness suddenly reopened an old wound in Kathryn\u2019s heart as she recollected when she\u2019d been at her lowest during those violent months with Patrick.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know a little of what you\u2019re going through Joe.\u00a0 There was a time when I didn\u2019t think I could face another day.\u00a0 But no matter how you\u2019re feeling now things will get better, the bad memories will fade, the pain will ease.\u00a0 Believe me, life does go on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slumped in his chair Joe lowered his head as if in silent prayer.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, but maybe this life doesn\u2019t want to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn saw his lips move but didn\u2019t quite catch the murmured words.\u00a0 A silence settled, heavy and uncomfortable until eventually Joe raised his head and straightened.\u00a0 \u201cReckon I\u2019ll go upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearing Kathryn\u2019s worried tone unseeing hazel eyes once filled with zest and humour but now dulled and lifeless stared over in her direction.\u00a0 \u201cJust feel a little tired but I\u2019ll be fine in a short while so please, don\u2019t worry,\u201d he said as he felt for his cane.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you like I\u2019ll bring you up another coffee.\u00a0 Don\u2019t think you even tasted the last one.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head slowly.\u00a0 \u201cNo, don\u2019t bother.\u00a0 I just want some time alone.\u201d\u00a0 He pushed to his feet and moved out of the kitchen with dragging resigned steps as though in a daze; the familiar rhythmic tapping of a walking stick the only sound as he made his way up the stairs to his room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn sighed as she watched him leave; the heart-wrenching and violent deaths of both his family and friends obviously hitting him hard. \u00a0She sat thinking about him for a few minutes but then felt an ominous shiver as she remembered something Morgan had told her last night.\u00a0 A grief stricken mind is a fragile and unpredictable thing.\u00a0 It wouldn\u2019t take much to tip towards self-destruction. <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With her stomach taking a sickening dip Kathryn covered her face with her hands as a heart-stopping realisation hit her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Surely not<\/em>, she thought, suddenly frightened, not Joe<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So moments later after quietly knocking at his bedroom door but receiving no answer she turned the handle and with a slight feeling of trepidation peered in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sight which greeted Kathryn was her worst fear.\u00a0 On the floor lay a canvas bag, its meagre contents of spilled out in a dishevelled heap.\u00a0 And oblivious to her presence Joe was sat on the edge of the bed, sweat running down the side of his face and the Colt.44 he\u2019d been presented with by his friends\u2019 months before held tightly in his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he fondled the cold metal close to his chest, in his world of darkness Joe\u2019s thoughts were disturbing yet inviting.\u00a0 How easy it would be to squeeze the trigger and end his pain at last.\u00a0 Who would mourn his passing?\u00a0 There was no one anymore and a sense of desperate loneliness swept over him, more keenly than it had ever done as the nightmare image of his Pa and brothers rotting in an unmarked grave returned to haunt him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his whole body tensing and silent tears now streaming down over his cheeks, Joe raised his left arm, his hand trembling so much he needed the right to steady it as he pressed the muzzle hard against the side of his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How long he held that position Kathryn couldn\u2019t guess as she stared transfixed and saddened at the sight.\u00a0 With her heart pounding fearfully it felt like a lifetime but was barely several seconds when Joe suddenly let out a heavy guilt-ridden sigh and with a sob returned the firearm to his lap.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling a mix of pity and relief Kathryn walked towards him.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019d really wanted to kill yourself you wouldn\u2019t still be thinking about it and I\u2019m sure in your heart you know it\u2019s not the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though visibly startled by her presence there was no response, Joe\u2019s indecision and silence proof enough she was right in her assumption.\u00a0 \u201cBesides, Morgan unloaded the gun last night while you were sleeping.\u00a0 He sensed you might attempt something like this the state you were in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn took the empty firearm from his unresisting grasp and quickly tidied it back under the bed with the rest of his belongings then sank down by his side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dry mouthed and shaking, Joe wiped his face dry with the back of his hand.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t feel the need to live yet too much of a spineless coward to blow my brains out; just another failure to add to my long list of failures I guess.\u00a0 Pa would be so proud,\u201d he murmured with bitter irony.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see no reason for you to think yourself a coward Joe.\u00a0 After all you\u2019ve been through, the family and friends you\u2019ve lost, your Pa would think more of you for having the guts to keep on living than putting a bullet in your head. And I\u2019m sure in time you\u2019ll realise I\u2019m right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, but I don\u2019t feel any better knowing that. I mean you\u2019ve been through plenty of grief but didn\u2019t end up trying to\u2026\u201d Joe stopped; the notion Kathryn would think of resorting to suicide too absurd to contemplate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn fidgeted with her sleeve.\u00a0 So far she\u2019d kept details of her last months in Wisconsin from Joe but she knew to help ease his pain it was time to bare her soul.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not the only one to consider taking the easy way out. I went pretty close while I was married to Patrick and if he hadn\u2019t died I\u2019m sure I might have gone through with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his own misery temporarily forgotten Joe\u2019s brow frowned in surprised puzzlement.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 I thought you were happy together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHappy!\u201d\u00a0 Kathryn shuddered and made a sound suspiciously like a word no self-respecting lady should know. \u201cI couldn\u2019t have been less happy,\u201d she sniffed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I hated him. Guess you could say the one good deed Patrick managed in life was dying when he did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sensing she was near to crying Joe felt for her hand in order to comfort.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want to talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a brief moment Kathryn agonised at the prospect of reliving the painful memories once more.\u00a0\u00a0 But feeling the warmth of Joe\u2019s fingers curled around her own gave her courage and so in a trembling voice she told him the harrowing account of those wretched months of marriage.\u00a0 However she failed to mention her birthmark, deciding as he\u2019d never see her why not let Joe imagine her pretty?\u00a0 Better that than only picturing her with disgust for the rest of his days.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally all went quiet. Kathryn\u2019s revelation had stunned him and Joe felt nothing but admiration for her managing to cope with such heartbreak all alone.\u00a0 She was obviously a lot tougher than he\u2019d ever imagined. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d he sympathised then frowned slightly as he played with a smooth band on her third finger.\u00a0 \u201cBut you still wear this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was my mother\u2019s wedding ring.\u00a0 Although Patrick placed it there I just couldn\u2019t bring myself to take it off.\u201d She gave a deep sigh as she wiped a tear away with the corner of her apron.\u00a0 \u201cBut Patrick is in the past now so best forget and leave him there where he belongs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf only I could do the same,\u201d Joe murmured with feeling, the past, his past not so easily forgotten or put behind him as silence settled and his expression turned sombre as he contemplated what Kathryn had told him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thinking he was suffering a fresh bout of miserable anguish Kathryn\u2019s heart plummeted and she gripped his arm anxiously.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, promise me you\u2019re not thinking of doing something stupid again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was fear in her voice and Joe inwardly cursed with regret to have been the cause.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He gave a soft reassuring smile, determined by her example to restore reason into his world of black where grief-induced insanity had briefly reigned. \u201cYou can stop worrying.\u00a0 There won\u2019t be a repeat of such foolishness.\u00a0 I have more important things on my mind now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a slight frown of puzzlement Kathryn offered up a question though having already guessed the answer.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to settle your account with those men in Alkali.\u00a0 I can see it in your face.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unlike the disconsolate man of minutes ago, Joe\u2019s expression was now unwavering with resolve.\u00a0 \u201cJust because I can\u2019t shoot them dead like I\u2019d once intended don\u2019t mean they\u2019re going to get away with murder.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo have you another plan?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cReckon so.\u00a0 Sheriff Coffee\u2019s been the law in Virginia City since I was a little kid.\u00a0 He and the whole town know my Pa and brothers were the most honest and law-abiding men in the territory. \u00a0So as soon as I explain all that happened I know he\u2019ll make sure Alkali\u2019s sheriff and its two deputies are tracked down and put on trial and then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he paused Joe\u2019s lip curled and he smiled, a cold, vengeful smile.\u00a0 \u201cAnd then when they\u2019re found guilty I\u2019ll make sure I\u2019m the one to place the noose around their necks then listen to them squeal as they drop.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn shuddered at the image.\u00a0 \u201cIt means a lot to you doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Having these men pay for what they\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means everything,\u201d Joe admitted.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t bring my Pa and brothers back but they deserve a decent burial on the Ponderosa as innocent men.\u00a0 It\u2019s the least I can do to make up for the injustice they\u2019ve suffered and give me some peace of mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like the pair of you are having a pretty serious conversation this morning,\u201d a familiar gruff voice in the doorway suddenly commented.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn jerked her head with surprise.\u00a0 \u201cMorgan! I didn\u2019t hear you come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHardly surprising seeing you\u2019re huddled together so close,\u201d Morgan smiled then with a doctor\u2019s practiced eye studied Joe as he eased down on the rocking chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEverything all right?\u201d he asked now looking pointedly towards Kathryn for confirmation any fears he might have had about Joe\u2019s mental state were unfounded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He received a nod of reassurance, Kathryn\u2019s eyes meeting his in a confident knowing gaze.\u00a0 \u201cEverything\u2019s fine.\u00a0 Joe was just saying he needs to get back to Nevada so he can deal with those three men.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhich three men are these?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Remembering he knew nothing of what happened in Alkalie Joe\u2019s mouth tightened grimly.\u00a0 \u201cThree men who need to die,\u201d he said and for the second time that day told his heart-breaking story, sparing no painful details, telling him all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan shook his head in sad disbelief once he\u2019d finished. \u00a0\u201cI thought something serious must have happened but I never expected anything as tragic as this Joe.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hope they get the punishment they truly deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on it as soon as I get back,\u201d Joe said as his stubble covered jaw tightened determinedly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan nodded, believing him.\u00a0 \u201cWell in that case you\u2019re going to need someone\u2019s company for your journey.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He paused, twiddling his moustache thoughtfully for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cYou know something, I reckon I know just the person,\u201d he said as he looked across at Kathryn. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ve had a wire from John and he says there\u2019s a position and lodgings available for you whenever you want to join them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn beamed excitedly and jumped up, wrapping her arms around her cousin\u2019s neck. \u201cI just wish I didn\u2019t have to go so far away from you. I\u2019m going to miss you so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m going to be more than sorry to see you go,\u201d Morgan admitted truthfully as he ran a finger down the right side of her face.\u00a0 \u201cJust as long as you\u2019re not doing it so you can hide away from the world, because there\u2019s truly no need.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Smiling at his concern Kathryn shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cNo Morgan, honestly I really feel the work is something I\u2019ve been born to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case if your heart is set I won\u2019t try and dissuade you.\u00a0 Just make sure you write often.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Listening in to the exchange Joe frowned.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re leaving?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you say?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t seem much point until I knew for certain,\u201d Kathryn admitted as she sat back down by his side.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve decided to work at a blind school, the one Morgan once told you about.\u00a0 As soon as I\u2019d read through those papers and realised what they did I knew I wanted to go and help the children in the same way I\u2019ve been helping you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo where is this school?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSan Francisco.\u00a0 Have you been there?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Giving a slow nod a nostalgic memory from the past resurfaced. \u201cI visited a couple of years ago with my Pa and brother. Pa warned us to keep out of trouble but instead he got shanghaied and we had to rescue him.\u00a0 Neither Hoss nor me allowed him to forget it for months after.\u201d Joe paused and gave a quiet chuckle at the recollection.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a mighty fine place though.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll settle down there fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re right,\u201d Kathryn answered then began gnawing her lip worriedly.\u00a0 \u201cThough I must admit I\u2019m now feeling quite nervous at the prospect of going all that way on my own and not knowing anyone when I get there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan gave her a confident smile.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t need to feel anxious. John and Ester will take good care of you.\u00a0 And as for your journey to California you won\u2019t be alone.\u00a0 The pair of you can travel together as far as Nevada at least, that\u2019s unless you\u2019ve got any objection Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t think of a one,\u201d Joe smiled, inwardly relieved to know he\u2019d have her company for a few weeks longer. \u00a0\u201cSo when do you think we\u2019ll be able to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan pushed his glasses back off the bridge of his nose and pondered thoughtfully for a few moments. \u201cConfederate forces have been disrupting travel on the southern trail so your best option is to take the Central Overland Route.\u00a0 From what I remember there\u2019s a stage leaving every other day so I\u2019ll go over and see if I can book you a couple of seats on the first available one out.\u00a0 Will that do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a thankful nod.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019ll do fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan looked at him thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u201cHave you given any consideration to the future once all this business is finished Joe?\u201d he inquired, having never heard him mention any plans for the years ahead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was honest as a feeling of nervousness suddenly gripped him.\u00a0 \u201cAll I\u2019ve had on my mind since my memory came back is revenge. The future well I\u2026.I hadn\u2019t really given it much thought. Somehow I can\u2019t imagine having much of one though, not as a worthless blind man anyways.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t talk like that,\u201d Kathryn reprimanded, refusing to give him an excuse to sink back into melancholia.\u00a0 \u201cJust because you can\u2019t see doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re worthless or won\u2019t have a future.\u00a0 Once those men have been brought to justice you\u2019ll be able to make a good life for yourself on your ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a sigh Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI couldn\u2019t live on the Ponderosa again, not when every inch reminds me of Pa, Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 Without them around it\u2019s no home anymore, not by myself with only ghosts for company.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut where else would you go?\u00a0 What would you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unable to ignore a feeling of emptiness and loneliness the years ahead now promised Joe tried to keep the fear out of his voice. \u201cI don\u2019t know. I wish I did, but I really don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan fingered his moustache thoughtfully. \u00a0\u201cMay I offer a suggestion?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a faint nod.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo to the blind school in San Francisco. Learn how to use Braille and then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe lifted his head, his expression now one of disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cWhat good would that do me?\u201d he interrupted. \u201cWanting to read or write isn\u2019t exactly on my list of priorities.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut John is crying out for staff and once you\u2019d mastered the skill you could pass on everything you know to the pupils there. \u00a0They\u2019d be inspired to learn when they realise their tutor is as blind as them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe still couldn\u2019t believe what he was hearing.\u00a0 \u201cThe whole idea is crazy Morgan. \u00a0I\u2019m no teacher!\u201d he exclaimed then suddenly felt a hand hold his own.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou could be Joe, and a good one I bet if you gave yourself the chance,\u201d Kathryn encouraged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026but I only know about ranching,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morgan noted the sound of indecision in his voice. \u201cDon\u2019t reckon there\u2019s much call for blind ranch hands these days, especially those who can\u2019t read nor write.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing no offence was intended Joe smiled at the gentle quip. \u00a0\u201cJust telling it like it is again, eh Morgan?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was the sound of a chuckle from the rocking chair and Kathryn squeezed his hand even tighter.\u00a0 \u201cPlease say yes. I hated the thought of having to say goodbye then leave you on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if it doesn\u2019t work out?\u00a0 I might not be able to grasp this Braille or be useless at teaching.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re just thinking up negative excuses,\u201d Kathryn softly scolded.\u00a0 \u201cUnless you try you\u2019ll never know, and a fresh start might help focus your mind away from those you\u2019ve lost, the life you\u2019ve left behind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe fell silent, his mind teeming with thoughts. Though it seemed both considered him more than capable he knew this might well turn out to be the hardest challenge of his life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yet what was the alternative? \u00a0Live out his days alone in a world of black, drinking his life away in the corner of some flea-ridden saloon? \u00a0He immediately felt afraid, the thought terrifying him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At least with Kathryn he\u2019d have a friend he could trust, someone he had a deep fondness for and who seemed to care about him.\u00a0 And all of a sudden the allure of her companionship was overwhelming and the fear of loneliness too much.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell if you\u2019re so sure the blind can lead the blind looks like you\u2019ve talked me into it,\u201d he finally conceded with a wry grin. \u00a0\u201cJust wish Pa and my brothers could see me now, planning to go back to school.\u00a0 Considering how they had to drag me there when I was a kid, they wouldn\u2019t believe it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey might not believe it Joe, but I\u2019m sure they\u2019d be real proud,\u201d Kathryn said, tears not far away as she stared towards him with an affectionate smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few days later with dawn barely broken Kathryn was already on the stage as words of thanks and gratitude flowed easily and sincerely when Joe said his final farewells to Morgan.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t ever forget what you\u2019ve done for me.\u00a0 Just wish there was some way I could repay you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Morgan gave him a paternal hug.\u00a0 \u201cJust make sure the life I saved turns out to be a good one then any debt will have been met in full,\u201d he said and helped him onto his seat and closed the door.<\/p>\n

A whip cracked, harness jingled and horses strained, then after a yell of encouragement from the driver the coach moved slowly away. \u00a0Morgan smiled as he watched them go but as soon as the coach disappeared from sight the smile fell away and with a heavy heart at the thought of living alone once again the doctor walked slowly towards his office in readiness for another day.<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 3:<\/p>\n

The journey west proved to be uncomfortable and wearisome and a far cry from the leisurely trek Joe had taken in the opposite direction months before. \u00a0The bone-shaking coach was usually cramped to capacity throughout; meagre meals eaten hastily in relay stations while teams were changed, then nights spent in draughty unheated way stations with a single blanket to fend off the cold.<\/p>\n

In all the conditions were harsh but despite the discomfort with Kathryn\u2019s help and companionship the journey wasn\u2019t half as bad as Joe had feared it might be, and after nearly 1600 miles of travel they finally arrived in Virginia City on a damp and dreary November afternoon.<\/p>\n

Having decided to go straight over to see the sheriff, Kathryn arranged for their bags to be left in the stage depot while Joe waited on the sidewalk, grateful for the warmth of a thickly woven overcoat he\u2019d been persuaded to buy in Fort Leavenworth as the chill of Nevada\u2019s autumnal air hit him.<\/p>\n

He pulled the collar up and tugged his hat down further as he leaned against the wall and listened to the noise from the town he\u2019d known since his birth.\u00a0 No one seemed to recognise him as they hurried by.\u00a0 Maybe that was a good thing.\u00a0 He was in no mood to accept their pity and explain his time away.<\/p>\n

Also well wrapped up and a scarf tied tight securing her veiled bonnet, Kathryn suddenly appeared by his side.\u00a0 \u201cAll done,\u201d she told him in a quiet reassuring manner. \u00a0Joe nodded and slipped his hand in the crook of her arm and with the cane held in front of him they made their way across the street.<\/p>\n

Warmth from a stove in the corner of the room welcomed them and as they closed the door a man at the desk with thinning grey hair who was writing a report briefly looked up then looked down again.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe right with you both,\u201d he told them as he once more put pen to paper.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

At the sound of the vaguely familiar voice the sheriff paused in mid sentence and looked up with a frown, adjusting his glasses as he stared more closely towards the young man with a walking stick in one hand and hat in the other.<\/p>\n

The face was drawn, pale and unshaven, the hair longer and slightly unkempt and the eyes were the eyes of a sightless man but Roy Coffee still recognised him in an instant.\u00a0 With an expression of astonishment he threw his pen down and rose from his seat. \u201cLittle Joe Cartwright?\u00a0 Is that really you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hearing the old gravelly voice say his childhood nickname once again Joe flicked a brief smile.\u00a0 \u201cYes\u2026it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe heard footsteps then two hands gripped his arms tight.\u00a0 \u201cDear Lord Little Joe, we all thought you were dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess you\u2019re real surprised to see me then.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no mistaking his genuineness or sincerity of fondness as Roy smiled towards him. \u201cSurprised don\u2019t come close to describing it son. Where the heck have you been all this time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been living in Kansas, just arrived back on the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKansas!\u201d\u00a0 Roy\u2019s tone was now high pitched and incredulous.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in tarnation were you doing in Kansas?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sighed wearily.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a long story,\u201d he admitted, then with a trusting expression turned his head and introduced Kathryn as the travelling companion who\u2019d been his eyes for the journey.<\/p>\n

Roy greeted the young woman with a courteous smile and shook her hand then pulled up a couple of chairs.\u00a0 Kathryn guided Joe to his seat while Roy sat back behind his desk. \u00a0\u201cSo what\u2019s been going on with you Little Joe?\u201d he asked, staring sympathetically into the empty eyes.<\/p>\n

Joe dropped his hat on the floor and began fingering the cane absently.\u00a0 \u201cI promise I\u2019ll explain everything later, but first there\u2019s something I have to tell you about Pa, Adam and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy noted his serious forlorn expression.\u00a0 \u201cWhy?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with them?\u201d<\/p>\n

Unable to see the look of puzzlement etched on the old sheriff\u2019s face Joe immediately began telling him about what happened in Alkali, the flow of words unstoppable and spilling out so fast and furious Roy was left with no opportunity to make him pause in his tale.<\/p>\n

Once he\u2019d finished Roy stared pityingly towards him without saying a word as he ran a fingertip along a thin moustache.\u00a0 It was as if he didn\u2019t know how to respond so Kathryn broke her silence.\u00a0 \u201cBut now you can understand why we\u2019ve come all this way Sheriff Coffee.\u00a0 With Joe blind he\u2019s relying on you to bring those men to justice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy looked towards her understandingly yet slowly shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cSorry ma\u2019am, but there\u2019s nothing I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Failing to understand why an old friend of his fathers\u2019 seemed to show no great concern at his untimely death in such dire circumstances Joe jumped to his feet and his whole demeanour now one of fury.\u00a0 \u201cNothing? \u00a0What do you mean nothing?\u00a0 My Pa and brothers are dead because of a corrupt sheriff and his deputies!\u00a0 Of all people I thought you\u2019d be the first to set too and do something about it!\u201d<\/p>\n

There was then a brief silence so tense you could almost cut the air with a knife.<\/p>\n

As he felt Kathryn place a calming hand on his arm Joe sat back down, his sightless eyes dancing with anger, while Roy\u2019s expression softened, ignoring the outburst.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, I can\u2019t do nothing for one simple reason.\u00a0 Your Pa ain\u2019t dead.\u00a0 Neither is Adam, nor Hoss. In fact I was having Sunday dinner with them all only yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kathryn gasped, eyes wide, while a look of complete bewilderment covered Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cBut they must be dead\u2026they were due to be hanged.\u00a0 I heard the Judge sentence them just before I got away.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy nodded and began to explain.\u00a0 \u201cThe way Ben told me they were brought out that morning and the noose placed round their necks, expecting to die within the minute.\u00a0 But at the last moment Sheriff Gains\u2019 conscience must have got the better of him \u2018cause he confessed there and then to the part he\u2019d played in the bank robbery along with Arte and Sam Mace. He told how Arte had been the one to shoot the teller dead and that\u2019s when Arte pulled a gun and killed Gains right in front of everyone.\u00a0 But before he could get away he was arrested along with Mace.\u00a0 They were put on trial and hung within a couple of days.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a few moments the shock of it all left Joe speechless as tears glistened in his eyes, though for once not tears of sorrow. \u201cThey\u2019re still alive,\u201d he repeated again and again as if to convince himself it wasn\u2019t a dream and the gnawing pain of grief that had lived in his heart for what seemed a lifetime began to ease and finally slipped away.<\/p>\n

Feeling his own eyes mist Roy took off his glasses and wiped a kerchief across his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee did Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

At the uneasy tone of his voice Roy reset his spectacles, frowning at the transformation as Joe\u2019s face now looked deeply troubled and any trace of happiness in his expression disappeared.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on son, spit it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath and started again. \u00a0\u201cWhen Pa got back from Alkali did he think I\u2019d run out on them and left them to die just to save my own skin?\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy shook his head as though he couldn\u2019t believe what he was hearing.\u00a0 \u201cWhat a fool crazy idea Little Joe.\u00a0 Your Pa would never think that of you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what else would he\u2026I mean where did he think I\u2019d gone?\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy leaned forward and clasping his hands together stared towards him with a caring smile. \u201cThe horse you escaped on returned to Alkali covered in blood the morning your Pa was due to be hanged.\u00a0 It was assumed you\u2019d been shot by the posse so as soon as they could Ben, Adam, Hoss and every ranch hand from the Ponderosa plus half of Virginia City went looking for you.<\/p>\n

Over two weeks later with no sight nor sign Ben realised there wasn\u2019t any chance of you still being alive. \u00a0Don\u2019t reckon he knew himself how much he loved you till he acknowledged you were really gone and had to give his blessing for the main search to be called off.\u00a0 He was truly devastated.\u00a0 But he and your brothers carried on looking, though resigned now to only finding a corpse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy paused to take a breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey must have spent another month at least scouring every trail, practically turning over every blade of grass between here and Alkali, determined to find a body to bury.\u00a0 But the strain and stress was telling on the three of them, your Pa in particular, and Doc Martin told Ben in no uncertain terms the way he was wearing himself to a frazzle he couldn\u2019t guarantee he\u2019d see another winter out if he didn\u2019t stop. It took a whole load of persuading to make Ben finally see sense though, but reckon the feeling of guilt for giving up the search is still eating him away from the inside out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Emotionally drained and physically spent Joe bent forward and buried his head in his hands, swallowing back a feeling of shock-based nausea that threatened to overwhelm him as he imagined the torment his Pa and brothers had gone through because of him.<\/p>\n

Kathryn stroked his back in a comforting way then shifting her caring gaze she stared back towards the desk, her voice now resolute and commanding.\u00a0 \u201cSheriff Coffee, if you don\u2019t mind me asking, have you a buggy we could borrow?\u00a0 I\u2019d like to take Joe home.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Once their baggage was loaded and directions given the single horse carriage went at a good clip after leaving Virginia City behind, Kathryn steering it like an expert as they following a well furrowed trail on course for the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

During the ride Joe would occasionally ask her to describe the landscape and as Kathryn gave her description he would offer a short anecdote about their location as he pictured the scenery in his mind.\u00a0 But mostly they travelled in silence, each with their own thoughts until in the dimness of early evening they pulled up in front of an imposingly built but welcoming building, certainly more grand than Kathryn ever imagined and a far cry from the small farmhouse where she\u2019d been born.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Aching with weariness and cold she took hold of Joe\u2019s hand. \u00a0\u201cWe\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a barely perceivable nod but no attempt at movement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d Kathryn asked, immediately sensing a tension within him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe drew in a shaky breath. There\u2019d been a time when he\u2019d been fearful about a future alone without his father and brothers around him.\u00a0 But now back on the Ponderosa suddenly he was more anxious about his future with them as his unseeing eyes stared out blankly. \u00a0\u201cI just got to thinking what if Pa grows to hate me when he starts to realise how much of a liability he\u2019s been saddled with for the rest of his days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn stared at him with disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t talk such rubbish Joe.\u00a0 From everything I\u2019ve heard about your father he would love you unconditionally no matter what.\u00a0 Take it from me there\u2019s no way he\u2019d ever imagine you as a millstone around his neck.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut how can you be so sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn\u2019s eyes softened.\u00a0 \u201cI know his son,\u201d she said quietly and kissed his cheek.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe allowed himself a flickering smile, the affectionate and comforting gesture meaning a great deal to him.\u00a0 \u201cThanks. Guess I\u2019m just feeling a little edgy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn grinned sheepishly.\u00a0 \u201cWell for what it\u2019s worth that makes two of us.\u00a0 Now come on before we both freeze to death out here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With cane in hand Joe slowly climbed down from his seat and taking hold of Kathryn\u2019s arm they crossed the yard.\u00a0 However being a stranger she couldn\u2019t bring herself to walk straight in so reaching for the knocker banged it hard on the heavy oak door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief silent pause then the sound of footsteps from within, a latch clicked and the door swung inward.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A well built man was now stood before her, looking down from all of six foot with a full head of iron grey hair swept back from a face which now looked more haggard and aged than it should.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn relaxed a little at the sight of him; he reminded her of her father.\u00a0 \u201cMr Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s brow furrowed towards his unexpected visitor.\u00a0 \u201cYes ma\u2019am.\u00a0 How can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn stepped aside and gently pulled a figure from the shadows.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a momentary hesitation; a catch of breath, a mouth gaped wide as though seeing a ghost. \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The name came out hushed and unsure. It couldn\u2019t be. Joe was dead, gone, in all probability a pile of bones in some old wolf\u2019s lair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt a lump swell in his throat, stepped hesitatingly towards the sound of the voice, whispered a response.\u00a0 \u201cYes Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dulled brown eyes widened from disbelief to joyous amazement and a cane clattered to the floor as Ben gathered his son into his arms.\u00a0 With eyes brimmed full he repeated his son\u2019s name over and over and all the time Joe\u2019s own tears soaked wetness into his father\u2019s shirt, held so close into the broad chest he thought his ribs would snap.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was the sound of scraping chairs and two men rushed into view, both staring over in shocked wonder.\u00a0 As one Hoss and Adam became a blur of movement, arms circling, more tears falling and Joe lost in the embrace of a family once left devastated but now finally reunited and made whole again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a few moments Kathryn stared with a teary smile at the poignant scene before quickly picking up and placing Joe\u2019s fallen hat and cane on a credenza by the door.\u00a0 She glanced around the spacious room and noticed a tall grandfather clock and a comfortable looking armchair beside it and as hunger and exhaustion finally began to take its toll she sank down on the welcoming upholstered seat with a thankful sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For Ben, Adam and Hoss it was almost too much to take in or understand when they finally pulled apart.\u00a0 With questions on their lips none of them were able to imagine anything that could shatter the happiness they now felt. But as they noticed tear filled hazel eyes seeming to stare right through them without focus a shocking realisation dawned.\u00a0 In mute understanding they exchanged glances and silence settled as they digested the truth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn could see Adam and Hoss clearly, noting immediately in appearance they were as different as chalk and cheese and just as Joe described.\u00a0 But now one thing was exactly the same; their faces showing identical heartbreaking sorrow as they stared toward their brother with a caring and anxious gaze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fighting to keep himself together Ben gently smoothed fingers around a thin faint unfamiliar scar which ran from Joe\u2019s temple to disappear into his hair. \u201cWhat…what happened to your sight son?\u201d he asked though couldn\u2019t conceal the break in his voice as empty eyes stared back at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I didn\u2019t duck away from a bullet as fast as I should one time Pa,\u201d Joe answered, making light of his injury as he wiped his face dry on the sleeve of his coat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure there\u2019s nothing that can be done to get it back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged helplessly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m guessing nothing short of a miracle.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, that\u2019s what we\u2019ll be praying for Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and managed a broken smile. \u00a0\u201cBut I\u2019ve had a real good teacher and she\u2019s taught me to do a load of things for myself. I can even manage the outhouse on my own so shouldn\u2019t be much of a burden around the place.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His attempt at humour fell flat as tears pricked Ben\u2019s eyes once more and he pulled the slender frame into a second embrace. \u201cThere\u2019ll never be a day dawn when any son of mine is a burden to me,\u201d he assured softly, his voice thick with emotion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Although feeling awkward to be an observer of such a personal show of fatherly tenderness Kathryn steadied herself to her feet, keen to allay any fears in his mind. \u201cExcuse me Mr Cartwright, but Joe\u2019s right in what he says. He\u2019s been such a quick learner and can manage many tasks by himself.\u00a0 Even some of our fellow passengers on the stage didn\u2019t even realise he was blind until it was pointed out to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the sound of a nervous sounding voice three heads turned as if suddenly realising she was there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Despite still reeling from shock a faint welcoming smile formed on Ben\u2019s lips as his grip grudgingly loosened on his son.\u00a0 \u201cA pleasure to meet you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMrs Royce, but I\u2019m a widow so Kathryn will do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook her hand. It was a firm handshake and his moistened eyes were kind, filled with gratitude.\u00a0 \u201cWell Kathryn, something tells me I\u2019m forever in your debt for bringing Joseph home.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not sure how to respond Kathryn just flicked a smile then watched Hoss slip off Joe\u2019s coat and Adam take hold of his arm and steer him towards a settee; three heads then suddenly close and in hushed brotherly conversation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben followed her gaze, hardly able to believe the sight of his sons together again.\u00a0 He swallowed and blinked hard then returned his attention to his guest.\u00a0 \u201cMay I take your coat and bonnet?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn handed them over, a knot of apprehension in her stomach tightening now she was without the veil to hide behind.\u00a0 But when Ben returned he showed no sign of revulsion, only seeing a face drawn with fatigue.\u00a0 He indicated for her to sit back down.\u00a0 \u201cYou mentioned the stage.\u00a0 Have you travelled far?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As she made herself comfortable again Kathryn nodded.\u00a0 \u201cKansas.\u00a0 We just arrived in Virginia City this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the second time that day the name brought out an astonished response.\u00a0 \u201cKansas!\u00a0 Joe\u2019s been living in Kansas?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a very long story and I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll explain everything soon.\u00a0 But I\u2019m sorry for turning up like this without any prior warning. I know it must have been a big shock for you,\u201d Kathryn apologised with a knowing sigh. \u201cIt\u2019s just that when Sheriff Coffee told us you were all still alive I knew I had to bring Joe straight home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at her incredulously. \u201cAre you telling me Joe was under the impression we were dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was sure you\u2019d been hung in Alkali and it was only when we were talking to the sheriff we learnt the truth of what happened there.\u201d \u00a0Kathryn paused, her voice now low.\u00a0 \u201cThere was a time he barely had the will to go on living because he thought you\u2019d all died yet he was still alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rested a hand on the wall for a moment, sadness and anguish deeply etched on his lined face at the revelation. \u00a0He knew full well from experience how his son must have suffered; every waking minute and nights of fretful sleep filled with heartbreaking memories of those he loved who he thought were gone forever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope I wasn\u2019t speaking out of turn but coupled with losing his sight I thought it only right you know, just so you understand how much he\u2019s gone through over the past months.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath Ben nodded. \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019ve told me\u2026thank you Kathryn,\u201d he said quietly and mentally shaking himself gathered his thoughts. \u201cTime I showed some manners my dear.\u00a0 Have you eaten?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe haven\u2019t had anything since breakfast and that was only dry biscuits and coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben regarded her sympathetically.\u00a0 \u201cIn that case I\u2019ll make sure Hop Sing knows he has two extra for dinner and I\u2019ll get Adam to bring in your bags.\u00a0 Would you like to freshen up before you eat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was an emphatic nod.\u00a0 \u201cYes please and thank you Mr Cartwright.\u00a0 I really appreciate your hospitality.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at her kindly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s no less than you deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Within minutes Adam had collected the luggage and escorted Kathryn to an upstairs guest room.\u00a0 But then knowing instinctively his father and younger brother needed a little time together alone he indicated for Hoss to follow him and the pair made a tactful withdrawal and went outside to take care of the sheriff\u2019s horse and buggy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting by Joe\u2019s side on the settee Ben\u2019s brow knitted together with fatherly concern.\u00a0 He could see he was thinner in the face and his stubbly jaw made him look older than twenty-two.\u00a0 Did he realise he\u2019d gained a year during his long journey westward? Ben sighed as he curved his arm around his shoulder and squeezed it gently. \u201cKathryn said you thought we\u2019d been hung in Alkali.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe bobbed his head and even with sightless eyes Ben couldn\u2019t miss the heartache lying behind them.\u00a0 \u201cLike I told Adam and Hoss, if I\u2019d known different I\u2019d have made sure you knew I was still alive instead of leaving you thinking\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His voice trailed into an awkward silence, Ben sensing his distress and could see he was trying to hold it all inside.\u00a0 But as the trauma and strain of the past months finally bubbled up and overwhelmed him Joe was unable to swallow down the sobs that had gathered in his throat.\u00a0 His shoulders began to heave and instinctively Ben pulled him into his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right Joseph, let it out,\u201d he soothed; hugging him more fiercely than he\u2019d ever done for several minutes in a sheltering embrace till the physical contact between father and son that had been missing for so long eventually calmed the younger Cartwright and the heart wrenching weeping ceased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFeel better now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a faint nod.\u00a0 \u201cThanks Pa.\u00a0 Guess you never expected such a cry baby to return home, even a blind cry baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben swallowed hard as he felt his chest tighten.\u00a0 \u201cHeaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling more secure and relaxed than he\u2019d done in a long time Joe couldn\u2019t help but smile.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s that, the law according to Ben Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo son, the law according to Charles Dickens. It\u2019s from his latest book and that little phrase stuck with me for some reason.\u00a0 You should read it sometime.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly realising what he\u2019d said Ben sighed long and hard.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joe\u2026I wasn\u2019t thinking,\u201d he admitted apologetically just as Adam suddenly reappeared as if by magic from the direction of the kitchen.\u00a0 Hearing his father\u2019s remorseful tone he raised a questioning eyebrow towards him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was just telling Joseph about the Dickens novel you had sent over last month but stupidly suggested he read it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright Pa. Don\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Joe said as Adam gave an sympathetic nod then eased down into his chair and though he noticed his brother\u2019s eyes were strangely more puffy and bloodshot than when he\u2019d left him he didn\u2019t mention it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing reckons dinner should be ready in about ten minutes Pa,\u201d Hoss advised as he made his way into the room and with a gentle hand affectionately ruffled Joe\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow about telling us where you\u2019ve been these past months little brother. \u00a0It\u2019ll fill in the time while we wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess you are owed an explanation,\u201d Joe confessed and for a moment was seemingly lost in thought.\u00a0 \u201cBut where do I start?\u201d he murmured thinking out loud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFrom experience I think the beginning is as good a place as any. Always works well for me,\u201d Adam suggested; his tone one of gentle teasing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a faint smile. It was good to know his elder brother still retained his solid and dependable way of getting straight to the point. So although hesitant at times Joe told his story as concisely as he could from the time he lost his memory on his flight from Alkali all the way through to the stage coach journey back to Virginia City, the conversational tone of his voice unable to mask the anguish he\u2019d been through.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There had been no interruptions throughout his story and after a thoughtful silence as they digested everything they\u2019d been told Adam was the first one to speak.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about the men who found you on the trail, are they still in the Militia?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe contemplated his brother\u2019s question for a moment.\u00a0 Though picturing their faces was becoming more and more difficult each day, the thought of reopening the wound of loss for Daniel, Sam and Henry that had only just begun to heal in his heart was almost too much. \u00a0But he knew their fate had to be told as he swallowed back his grief. \u00a0\u201cThey came up against Confederate forces while on patrol and never made it back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The inference was clear and as he heard the pain in his son\u2019s voice Ben laid a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cSorry to hear that Joe, they sound like they were fine men.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe best,\u201d Joe murmured just as a highly excited Hop Sing scurried in holding the first of several serving dishes in his hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The family cook looked over at his much loved number three son and offered over a few words in Chinese, Joe forcing out a quick smile and chuckle as he replied in the same language.\u00a0 Hilarity in any form had been sadly lacking around the house over the past months and at the sound of Joe\u2019s quiet laughter there was no need for Ben or his two eldest to put into words what each felt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go fetch Kathryn,\u201d Adam suddenly offered, his usually stoic eyes showing extra brightness as he quickly jumped up and left the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Within a few minutes they were all seated, Ben in his usual chair at the top of the table with Joe and Kathryn to his left and Adam and Hoss to the right. \u00a0The food was served and Ben noticed Joe made no move to eat until Kathryn murmured something quietly in his ear and with a nod of understanding he felt for his knife and fork.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Conscious of Ben\u2019s curious gaze towards her Kathryn explained. \u201cIt\u2019s something I read about Mr Cartwright. Think of the plate as a clock then describe where the food is, meat at 11, potato at 4, vegetables at 7.\u00a0 It helps Joe to locate each portion.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t that beat all,\u201d Hoss acknowledged, obviously impressed though his blue eyes didn\u2019t have their usual sparkle. \u201cI\u2019ll be sure to remember that trick little brother when you needs me to tell you the time at dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sensing all eyes on him Joe just shrugged.\u00a0 He hated being the centre of attention and now felt like a prime exhibit in a freak show as he speared a potato straight into his mouth, fully expecting a round of applause.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rest of the meal was a quiet affair, both Kathryn and Joe more interested in eating every morsel on their plates than chatting, so it was only when appetites were satisfied and they sat in front of the blazing fire with their coffee that conversation freely flowed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn spoke a little about her early life in Wisconsin then Adam and Hoss told Joe all the local gossip from the past six months in an effort to put him in the picture again.\u00a0 At first he\u2019d listened intently while sipping his drink, giving a quiet chuckle, a comment or nod of the head at the appropriate time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However when talk fell on the Ponderosa timber cut down and replanted, the prime beef driven to the rail head during the summer, the horse breaking just completed for the Army, Joe struggled to keep his mind on what he was hearing or his eyes open. \u00a0\u201cIf it\u2019s all right with you Pa I\u2019d like to turn in.\u00a0 I sure am dead beat,\u201d he admitted truthfully after letting out an involuntary yawn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at him, his expression immediately softening. \u201cOf course son, go ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn rested a hand on his arm. \u201cSweet dreams Joe. I hope you sleep well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cConsidering some of the places I\u2019ve had to bed down in over the past weeks I\u2019m sure I will,\u201d he responded with a tender smile in her direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust so I know I\u2019m hoping my room is still as it was?\u201d he asked to no one in particular as he stood up and with the aid of his cane in front of him made his way to the bottom of the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and his two eldest exchanged knowing looks.\u00a0 Since Alkali Joe\u2019s room hadn\u2019t been touched, none of them willing or capable of changing a single thing.\u00a0 \u201cYep Joe, everything is just as you left it but here, let me help you up there,\u201d Hoss insisted as he took hold of his arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe suddenly stiffened and shrugged off his brother\u2019s hold.\u00a0 \u201cI may be blind but I\u2019m more than capable of putting myself to bed!\u201d he snapped then silently cursed at his unwarranted rudeness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Half expecting a father\u2019s reprimand Joe waited but there was nothing. He sighed and rubbed a hand across his forehead.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry Hoss.\u00a0 I know you mean well\u2026it\u2019s just that…\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it little brother,\u201d Hoss interrupted, recognising his desire to demonstrate some sort of independence. \u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a silent nod and one hand on the banister Joe began to climb but straightaway misjudged the height of the step and fell to his knees.\u00a0 Immediately a pair of strong arms picked him up and steadied him on his feet. \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling foolish at his ineptness it took a few moments before Joe could bring himself to speak.\u00a0 \u201cYes I\u2019m fine\u2026thanks Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 He tentatively felt for the rail once more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at him unconvinced.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you let your brother help you Joseph?\u201d he suggested with an anxious gaze. \u201cNo point risking hurting yourself again for the sake of pride.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d rather try and manage on my own Pa. Can\u2019t expect to be hand-held for the rest of my life,\u201d he answered stubbornly and continued slowly up the stairs again, the cane tapping his way and this time without further incident.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As they heard a bedroom door close Hoss sank back down on the space left vacant on the settee.\u00a0 \u201cWell good to know some things ain\u2019t ever gonna change around here.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s still as hot-tempered and mule-headed as he\u2019s always been,\u201d he observed with loving exasperation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn patted his hand. \u201cAnd I bet you wouldn\u2019t have him any other way, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cNo ma\u2019am.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t change a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam leaned back in his armchair with hands clasped behind his head.\u00a0 \u201cHope you don\u2019t mind me asking Kathryn, but considering the distances and hardship involved, why did you come all this way with Joe? It can\u2019t have been the easiest of journeys to take, especially for a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even with his penetrating gaze on her Kathryn felt completely at ease, Adam\u2019s dark eyes reflecting nothing but friendliness towards her.\u00a0 \u201cIt all started by chance when I read about the work done at the San Francisco School for the Blind. I knew straightaway it was something I wanted to become involved in and as the director of the school is an old friend of Morgan\u2019s he arranged for me to take up a position there.\u00a0 Joe was already determined to return to Virginia City therefore it made sense for us to travel together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019ll be moving on?\u201d Ben asked, watching her thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was always my intention and Joe was going to come with me and try his hand at teaching the children once he\u2019d made sure those men in Alkali were brought to justice.\u00a0 But of course all plans changed when Sheriff Coffee told us you were still alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cLittle brother was going back to school?\u00a0 That\u2019s hard to believe considering how much he hated it and we had to drag him there most days!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just what Joe said,\u201d Kathryn acknowledged with a laugh then noticed a puzzled look flash across Adam\u2019s face as he leaned forwards in his chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand?\u00a0 Are you saying Joe didn\u2019t intend returning to the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn shook her head slowly. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to remember as far as Joe was concerned you were all dead. He couldn\u2019t contemplate living here alone for the rest of his life, especially without his sight.\u00a0 But I know the thought of leaving it behind forever broke his heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a frown on their faces the three men considered what she\u2019d said.\u00a0 The notion of Joe living anywhere but on the ranch seemed inconceivable and they could well imagine what an agonising decision it must have been for him to make.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn looked between them and noting their pensive expressions remained silent for a few moments before offering up a query.\u00a0 \u201cDoes anyone know if there\u2019ll be a stage leaving for San Francisco in the near future?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaken back from his thoughts Hoss answered.\u00a0 \u201cNext one out should be leaving Saturday, but can\u2019t you stick around a while longer?\u00a0 Sure is a real pleasure having such charming female company around here for a change.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn looked into the broad, honest face and smiled. Like his father and brother before him he put her totally at ease; staring at her with genuine warmth and her birthmark ignored. \u201cThank you Hoss but I think it best I continue my journey as soon as possible. Besides I have a feeling the longer I stay the less I\u2019ll want to go after you\u2019ve made me feel so at home and welcomed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe is going to miss you,\u201d Ben added perceptively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unable to hide a look of sadness Kathryn nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019m going to miss Joe,\u201d she admitted, meeting his gaze briefly with a faint smile then turning to stare over at the grandfather clock, the lateness of the hour surprising her. \u201cWell if you\u2019ll all excuse me I really think I should retire otherwise I may well fall asleep where I sit.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She got to her feet, the three men courteously following suit then wishing them good night headed upstairs, Hoss staring thoughtfully after her until she disappeared from sight.\u00a0 \u201cKathryn\u2019s a mighty fine woman. Shame she ain\u2019t going to settle down around here,\u201d he sighed as he sank his heavy frame down on the arm of the settee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded in agreement.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s certainly done a fine job helping Joe.\u00a0 She\u2019ll make an excellent teacher, I\u2019m sure of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stretched out his stiff muscles and gave a yawn.\u00a0 \u201cWell Hoss, reckon the pair of us had better head up as well seeing as it\u2019s an early start in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben frowned momentarily. \u00a0\u201cOf course, you\u2019re bringing the herd down to winter pasture.\u00a0 I\u2019d forgotten all about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hardly surprising after all that\u2019s gone on tonight. Just wish we could stick around now that Joe\u2019s returned,\u201d Adam admitted in a sincere tone.\u00a0 \u201cBut we\u2019re way behind schedule as it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen do you think you\u2019ll be back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With the mask of impassiveness and practicality returned Adam pondered for a moment as he began to make his way slowly up the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cIf the weather holds Friday at the latest Pa, then I\u2019ll start planning out a way of making the house more Joe friendly. We should also consider trying to get him to move to the downstairs bedroom so he won\u2019t need to tackle the stairs and risk injury.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood thinking, but knowing what an obstinate cuss our little brother can be I\u2019ll leave you to do the persuading,\u201d Hoss replied jokingly as he followed him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He turned his head back towards his father.\u00a0 \u201cAre you coming up Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s first impulse was to say yes, but with all that had happened in the past few hours swirling in his mind he knew sleep would be a long time coming so after a moment\u2019s deliberation he shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cReckon I\u2019ll just sit down here a while and have a nightcap to settle me down.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a sigh of understanding Hoss\u2019 blue eyes suddenly shined moist in the lamplight.\u00a0 \u201cWhy of all people did Joe have to lose his sight?\u00a0 I\u2019d give my right arm for him to see again,\u201d he admitted in a quiet emotion filled voice.\u00a0 \u201cBut don\u2019t you go worrying yourself Pa.\u00a0 At least he\u2019s back and we\u2019ll make take good care of him from now on.\u00a0 You know that, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben swallowed hard, his own eyes filled with tenderness towards him as he nodded a response.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a silent wave of farewell Hoss followed in his elder brother\u2019s wake and now alone Ben poured out a generous measure of brandy and sank back down into the welcoming embrace of his leather armchair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His gaze settled towards the hearth and on the flickering flames with all thoughts on his youngest, though one thing Kathryn said kept repeating in his head\u2026he barely had the will to go on living.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Although she hadn\u2019t elaborated Ben knew exactly what she\u2019d meant; at some point Joe had contemplated ending his own life.\u00a0 But what had lifted his son from such depths of despair?\u00a0 Whatever it was Ben was thankful for it.\u00a0\u00a0 And it also struck him three men had to die on a scaffold in order for Joe to remember who he was and set the wheels of fate in motion, otherwise he may well have gone marching off to war with his friends, never to return.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling himself shake at the thought Ben swallowed down his drink in one mouthful. \u00a0And for the next few minutes the only sound to be heard in the room was a heavy tick from the grandfather clock, the crackle of embers in a dying fire and a father\u2019s heartfelt muffled sobs for a much-loved son returned home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next morning when he woke Joe straightaway heard a distant chime striking nine and smiled contented. \u00a0Unable to recall when he\u2019d last slept so long or so soundly, for the first time ever he felt no sense of fear in his world of darkness, instead just feeling at home as he pushed away the blanket and quilt and swung his legs to the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wearing his old nightshirt which had been thoughtfully left on his pillow by Adam when he\u2019d brought up the luggage and in no great rush Joe took a few moments to visualise the location of all the furniture upstairs and down in the house, hoping nothing much had been altered during his time away.\u00a0 He felt for the bag containing everything he\u2019d brought back from Kansas which rested on the floor by his feet, and with outstretched arm cautiously made his way towards the wash stand and water jug and his first challenge of the day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sometime later fully dressed and with hair combed into place Joe opened his bedroom door and again with the aid of his cane and one hand on the wall felt his way along until half way down the stairs he stopped as the room below seemed unusually quiet.\u00a0 \u201cAnyone around?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the sound of his voice Ben looked up from the newspaper he was reading.\u00a0 His heart skipped a beat of happiness, hardly daring to believe it was really his youngest standing there.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sitting at the dining table Joe,\u201d he answered; his first thought to rush across and take hold of his arm.\u00a0 But remembering his son\u2019s reaction to being fussed over he held back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe slowly descended the last few steps then from memory tapped his way carefully around the various furnishings and after locating a chair by his father\u2019s side hooked his cane over the back and slid down onto it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Comforted by the way Joe seemed unfazed and coping with his life changing disorder Ben folded his paper away and smiled warmly towards him.\u00a0 \u201cDid you sleep well?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike a log Pa,\u201d Joe told him and smoothed a hand down his shirt.\u00a0 \u201cEven found clean clothes hanging in the wardrobe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll be Hop Sing.\u00a0 He insisted everything was washed and tidied away even though no one thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d ever come home,\u201d Joe interrupted quietly, his lips curved very slightly in a sad half smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes and fought back the rising flood of emotion that he feared would overwhelm him.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got to believe me Joseph if I\u2019d had the slightest notion you were still alive I\u2019d have never stopped searching\u2026never.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the sound of his father\u2019s trembling voice Joe groped for his hand and held it in a firm grip, his gaze vacant but his face showing total belief.\u00a0 \u201cI know it Pa.\u00a0 I truly do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were no further words spoken, just a comfortable silence until Joe released his hold, sensing the need for a change of subject.\u00a0 \u201cSo where is everybody?\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m the first one up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep calming breath then cleared his throat. \u201cKathryn\u2019s in the kitchen chatting to Hop Sing.\u00a0 And as for your brothers they left at dawn to bring the herd down from the high country,\u201d he told him as he filled a cup with coffee and placed it within his son\u2019s grasp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled his thanks.\u00a0 \u201cLeft it late this year haven\u2019t they?\u00a0 I thought you always liked to have the cattle settled on the winter pasture well before the end of October.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNormally yes, but this year we\u2019ve been put a little behind schedule being short handed on most things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face clouded momentarily as he sipped at his drink, realising full well his absence was the cause of the delay. \u201cSo how long are those brothers of mine going to be away?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as the weather holds fair Adam reckoned Friday at the latest,\u201d Ben answered then looking more closely noticed stubbly whiskers were gone and apart from a couple of small nicks Joe looked more like the smooth-faced young man of months ago.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you shave yourself son?\u201d he asked with a raised eyebrow of incredulity as he ran a finger around his chin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe put down his cup.\u00a0 \u201cNot bad for a blind man, eh Pa.\u00a0 Amazing what you can do if you\u2019ve got a mind to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOr have a good teacher,\u201d Kathryn interrupted cheerily as she appeared and placed a platter on the table.\u00a0 \u201cGood morning Joe.\u00a0 Would you like some scrambled egg?\u00a0 Hop Sing made quite a batch and I\u2019m sure he must be trying to fatten the pair of us up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe greeted her warmly and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing\u2019s been trying to put weight on me for years, but reckon it always finds its way to Hoss every time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn laughed as she scooped a large portion onto both their plates then sat down besides him.\u00a0 \u201cThere you go, all done,\u201d she advised, carefully making sure the fork was where Joe could find it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never eaten so well.\u00a0 I just wish I could stay longer and sample more of Hop Sing\u2019s cooking,\u201d she said as she started on her own breakfast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re still heading for San Francisco?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Joe, there\u2019s a stage due out on Saturday so I might as well take it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard; his insides churning as a look of anguish suddenly crossed his face at the thought of her leaving. \u201cIt\u2019s going to feel strange not having you around to keep me out of trouble,\u201d he admitted quietly, hoping he sounded more relaxed than he felt. \u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ve been a great team together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes we have.\u00a0 You\u2019ll just have to keep your brothers on their toes instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe forced out a wry chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cReckon I\u2019ve been doing that for so long they won\u2019t notice any difference,\u201d he said then picking up his fork he began to eat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How true<\/em> Ben thought as he pushed back his chair.\u00a0 \u201cWell I\u2019m going to have to excuse myself for a while as I need to make a start on the accounts and a heap of paperwork.\u00a0 I promised Adam I\u2019d try and catch up on the backlog that\u2019s been mounting up for far too long and have a feeling it\u2019s going to keep me occupied for a couple of days at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Remembering well the calculations involved in the yearly chore Joe was just about to offer his assistance then silently cursed at his stupidity as he recalled something Morgan once said in jest. Not much call for a blind ranch hand; <\/em>a blind ranch hand who couldn\u2019t even manage to add up figures in a column. \u00a0Suddenly a depressing thought came to him.\u00a0 If he couldn\u2019t do such a menial task as that, what else could he do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unaware of Joe\u2019s inner turmoil Kathryn looked over towards Ben. \u201cI don\u2019t suppose you have any writing paper spare do you Mr Cartwright?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 \u201cI really need to let Morgan know I\u2019m well as he\u2019ll have been worrying about me.\u00a0 \u00a0I also need to tell him about you still being alive. He\u2019ll be so happy to hear that news.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded a reply. \u201cWhen you\u2019re ready come and help yourself,\u201d he told her then picking up a pipe and tobacco from the side of the hearth disappeared around the corner of the room towards his desk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With her plate now empty Kathryn wiped her mouth with a napkin.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be sure to write to you often and tell you how I\u2019m getting on Joe,\u201d she said then a thought came.\u00a0 \u201cIf I send you the details about Braille would you consider learning it? \u00a0Then you\u2019d be able to let me know everything you\u2019re getting up to around the ranch as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReckon I will,\u201d Joe said but inwardly reflected that with the amount of work he\u2019d be able to do on the Ponderosa he\u2019d be hard pressed to find more than a single sheet of interest to put in a letter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben made a flourishing gesture as he closed the last ledger shut then leaned back in his chair, gently massaging the muscles around his neck with his fingertips.\u00a0 After nearly three full days his work was done.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn looked up from a book she was reading and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cSomething tells me you\u2019ve finished at last.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThankfully yes though it\u2019s taken longer than I expected.\u00a0 I\u2019m ashamed to say I lost all interest in a lot of things after Alkali but at least all is done now though you must forgive me for not being the best of hosts during your stay.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease there\u2019s no need to apologise.\u00a0 I\u2019ve enjoyed having the opportunity to just relax and read and it\u2019s made the time pass really quickly.\u00a0 Adam certainly has great taste in literature.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s something he definitely got from his mother,\u201d Ben confessed as he stood up and checked the time on his pocket watch.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t realise it was this late.\u00a0 Where\u2019s Joe?\u00a0 Is he upstairs?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026or at least I think so,\u201d Kathryn answered with a creased brow of uncertainty.\u00a0 \u201cTo be honest I\u2019ve been so absorbed with this novel I didn\u2019t notice where he went.\u00a0 Shall I check?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo it\u2019s all right Kathryn, I\u2019ll go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben made his way up the stairs and knocked quietly on Joe\u2019s bedroom door.\u00a0 There was no response and he opened it, only seeing a roughly made bed and the room empty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slightly confused he returned to Kathryn\u2019s side.\u00a0 \u201cIf he went upstairs he\u2019s not there now,\u201d he told her with a frown.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe he\u2019s in the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing just came in to say dinner was nearly ready and he hasn\u2019t seen Joe since lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell he can\u2019t have gone far,\u201d Ben assured her and with his brow knit in thought suddenly gave an intuitive sigh.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes I reckon that boy of mine is going to be the death of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I know where Joe is,\u201d he answered with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t be long.\u201d And trying his best to appear unconcerned Ben headed out of the front door towards the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Realising his hunch was correct as he made towards a hushed murmuring Ben stood in silence for a few moments as he watched Joe brushing the black and white neck of an Indian pony in long rhythmic strokes.\u00a0 And all the while as he talked softly in a soothing and gentle tone the pinto stood quiet and listened intently to the human voice he\u2019d known since a colt, giving out an occasional snort as though adding to the discussion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben couldn\u2019t help but smile at the closeness that still existed between the two even after being parted for several months.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been looking for you Joe.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you tell me where you were going?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe paused at the sound of his father\u2019s voice for a brief moment then continued brushing.\u00a0 \u201cDo I have to ask your permission to leave the house now Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leaned against the end of the stall and folded his arms.\u00a0 \u201cOf course you don\u2019t but what were you thinking coming here on your own without someone to guide you?\u00a0 Anything could have happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t a man, even a blind man, go out to groom his horse without somebody jumping all over him about it?\u00a0 For heavens sake Pa, I\u2019m not a child you have to keep constant watch over any more and I\u2019m more than capable of finding my way across the yard.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s raised tone brought a silent response for a few moments then when he did speak Ben was unrepentant and caring.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m more than aware of your capabilities Joseph but I was concerned for your safety, that\u2019s all,\u201d he said, looking around and with a fatherly eye spotting potential hazards and dangers for his sightless son in every corner of the building.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Releasing a long breath Joe dropped his hand to his side.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry. It\u2019s just that after being cooped indoors for the past few days I needed to get out of the house for a while or I reckon I\u2019d have gone cabin crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s brow furrowed slightly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m the one who should apologise son.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been so intent on finishing the paperwork it didn\u2019t occur to me how boring it must be for you sitting around with nothing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s something I\u2019ve got to get used to I suppose,\u201d Joe sighed. \u201cBut at least I\u2019ve managed to visit and talk with old Cooch.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope the pair of you had an interesting conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe tried, but I think I might have lost a lot in translation,\u201d Joe joked, forcing out a half-hearted grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave a faint chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cAnyway you just about finished son?\u00a0 Dinner is all but ready and you know how Hop Sing doesn\u2019t like to be kept waiting when he\u2019s ready to dish up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a nod Joe gave his horse a final pat and felt for his cane which was hanging on the end of the stall.\u00a0 Ben took the brush from his grasp and placed it on the top of the rail and walking together they made their way back to the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing\u2019s stew and dumplings was delicious though after the first couple of mouthfuls Joe just stirred listlessly at his food with his fork.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced at his half-empty plate.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve hardly touched a thing Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you feel well?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 I just haven\u2019t got much of an appetite tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised a thoughtful eyebrow then turned to his left.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m collecting the supplies from town tomorrow Kathryn so I\u2019ll post your letter and book you a seat on Saturday\u2019s stage while I\u2019m there.\u00a0 But I insist on paying for your ticket as it\u2019s the least I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The gratitude in Kathryn\u2019s eyes was tinged with sadness at the thought of saying goodbye but before she could thank him Joe spoke up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWould you make that two tickets Pa?\u201d\u00a0 He paused and swallowed nervously, hoping his father wouldn\u2019t notice the slight tremor in his voice. \u201cI\u2019ve decided to go to San Francisco as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Although his statement was completely unexpected Ben\u2019s reaction was strangely placid at the news. \u201cI realise you\u2019d like to keep Kathryn company on the journey but you\u2019ve got to think of afterwards Joe.\u00a0 Returning home on your own could be quite dangerous and I\u2019m not prepared to allow you to take such a risk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026you don\u2019t understand. I won\u2019t be coming back,\u201d Joe announced in a more resolute tone.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to stay and try and make a new life for myself as a teacher at the blind school.\u201d<\/p>\n

With Kathryn staring at him open mouthed Ben leaned forwards in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cYou want to leave the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to, but it\u2019s for the best,\u201d Joe replied with a resigned sigh.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t take a genius to work out I\u2019m not going to be any use herding cattle, breaking horses or cutting down timber around the ranch.\u00a0 There ain\u2019t even much point carrying a gun anymore so I might as well make a fresh start and try something that I could be good at instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s early days Joe.\u00a0 Once your brothers get back we\u2019ll figure out some work for you to do,\u201d Ben told him reassuringly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike what? I\u2019ve been racking my brains for three days but I can\u2019t come up with anything that\u2019d be worth being paid a wage for.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben laid a hand on his shoulder and patted it gently.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve no need to worry about money Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure you always have everything you need.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI have no intention of living on charity for the rest of my life,\u201d he stated quietly.\u00a0 \u201cSo please don\u2019t deny me the chance of earning some self respect by making my own way in the world in the best way I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cold fear suddenly began to clutch at Ben\u2019s heart at the realisation he was serious in his determination to go.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019ve only just found you son.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to lose you again so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t lost me,\u201d Joe assured with a faint smile.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll only be a few days travel time away and it\u2019ll be easy enough for you to come visit.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief tense silence.\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t fight me over this Pa,\u201d Joe all but begged.\u00a0 \u201cThis is something I need to do if only to make you proud.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve no need to prove yourself to me Joseph.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been proud of you since the day you were born,\u201d Ben said, his voice shaking and for a few moments he sat back and looked at him intently. \u00a0\u201cAre you really sure this is what you want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, his resolute expression saying it all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leaned over and grasped his hand, staring deeply into unsighted eyes and relieved they couldn\u2019t see his own now looking suspiciously moist. \u201cVery well son, as you wish.\u00a0 You\u2019re a grown man now and I won\u2019t try and stop you.\u00a0 But just promise me you\u2019ll never forget this will always be your home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI promise Pa,\u201d Joe replied in a choked response.\u00a0 \u201cAnd thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With the life seeming to go out of him Ben abruptly pushed back his chair from the table.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019ll excuse me I\u2026I just need to check the livestock,\u201d he suddenly announced, his gaze remaining on his son for a brief moment and his stricken expression making Kathryn want to weep before he quickly made his way outside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The front door slammed shut.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour father is more upset than he\u2019s letting on,\u201d Kathryn commented after remaining diplomatically silent up till then.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s quite obvious he doesn\u2019t want you to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Joe responded and heaved a deep sigh.\u00a0 \u201cBut I can\u2019t just sit around day after day twiddling my thumbs while everyone else is working themselves to an early grave.\u00a0 Besides, if I stick around here Pa will only worry himself sick every time I step outside the house in case I hurt myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you really think being in San Francisco will make him worry less?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged pretending ignorance but knew the answer, his heart breaking as he placed his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Normal conversation over breakfast the next morning proved to be as strained and forced as the previous evening, so it was with some relief when Ben left for town leaving Kathryn and Joe together in a more relaxed atmosphere at the dining table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBy the looks of him your father didn\u2019t get much sleep last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sagged back in his chair, clearly tired and grumpy.\u00a0 \u201cWell that makes two of us,\u201d he grumbled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As she put down her coffee cup Kathryn laid a hand on his arm.\u00a0 \u201cPlease Joe, I hate seeing the pair of you so miserable.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you reconsider and stay?\u00a0 It won\u2019t matter to your family if you can\u2019t do the work you used to do around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt matters to me,\u201d Joe answered, his jaw tightening doggedly. \u201cPa might never consider me a burden but that\u2019s just how I\u2019ll feel knowing I can never pull my weight around the ranch as an equal.\u00a0 And I sure as hell can\u2019t settle for anything less.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn let out a heavy sigh.\u00a0 \u201cYou really are infuriatingly pig-headed at times Joseph Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take that as a compliment,\u201d he replied with a wry smile then pushed to his feet and felt his way towards the window where he pressed his fingers against it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the weather like?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn peered out and could see for the first time since they\u2019d arrived at the ranch there was more blue sky than grey.\u00a0 \u201cBy the looks of it, it\u2019s going to be a fine day for a change.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, his mind miles away with his brothers.\u00a0 \u201cThat should put Adam and Hoss in a good mood.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing they hate worst than herding cows in the pouring rain.\u00a0 I just hope they make it back so we can have one last evening together before I leave.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief silence.\u00a0 \u201cYes I do,\u201d Joe murmured in reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking her head at his stubbornness Kathryn refilled her cup as an idea to pass the time away suddenly formed.\u00a0 \u201cSeeing as it\u2019s our last day here what do you say about taking me on a tour of the ranch? Though it\u2019s been a while since I\u2019ve ridden I\u2019m sure I can manage Sheriff Coffee\u2019s horse as long as we take it steady.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Turning with a puzzled frown it was as if Joe\u2019s brain couldn\u2019t understand what she was proposing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMe\u2026go riding?\u201d he asked, hesitant at the suggestion.\u00a0 Without his sight he\u2019d never even considered it possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see why not.\u00a0 Just because you\u2019re blind doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t sit on a horse without falling off, does it?\u201d she teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you know how Pa worries.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t allow it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn chuckled impishly. \u201cYour Pa isn\u2019t here to say no.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he took in her words Joe\u2019s expression quickly transformed to one of boyish delight as he felt his way back towards her.\u00a0 \u201cKathryn, you\u2019re wonderful!\u00a0 So what are we waiting for?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a smile at his enthusiastic impatience Kathryn slapped him playfully on the chest and laughed.\u00a0 \u201cFor me to finish my coffee!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Between them it didn\u2019t take long to saddle up, Joe almost feeling like his old self apart from the absence of his gun belt once he\u2019d eased up onto Cochise\u2019s back and took control of the reins.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though at first the pinto fought for his head in an attempt to go on a galloping run Joe\u2019s horsemanship was still apparent even without sight as he skilfully held him back, the two horses soon settling side by side in an easy lope as they travelled along a well used dirt road rutted by countless wagons over the years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing the ranch like the back of his hand Joe had no problem passing on directions to the watering hole where Adam first taught him to swim, following the trail through a dark green forest of Ponderosa pine destined eventually for the timber mills and then stopping for a few moments by a quiet and well cared-for knoll where a small stand of oak trees cast dappled shade over Marie Cartwright\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sun was still shining with unseasonal warmth when they veered towards a lesser used track and for a short while walked their mounts higher and higher up a curving slope which finally levelled off at a large clearing.\u00a0 Here the only feature was an unusual drum shaped outcrop of jumbled rocks sitting somewhat precariously on top of each other and rising to thirty feet above the huge circular base.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn secured the horses to a solitary gorse bush then cupping Joe\u2019s elbow they walked towards the side of the outcrop and sat down.\u00a0 \u201cHere,\u201d she said, taking out two slightly squashed packages from her coat pocket and placing one in his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLunch courtesy of Hop Sing.\u00a0 When I told him what we were going to do he insisted on making a sandwich each and wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer.\u00a0 He\u2019s determined to put weight on the pair of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe chuckled and a comfortable silence settled between them as they ate, Kathryn looking out from the vantage point and enthralled by the majesty of what lay before her.\u00a0 Gentle rolling grassland and the deceptively peaceful shimmering of a large lake in the far distance along with snow-dusted mountaintops was a truly breathtakingly beautiful sight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis view is amazing,\u201d she admitted once she\u2019d finished and brushed away breadcrumbs from her skirt. \u00a0\u201cThank you for bringing me here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing the scene was lost to him forever Joe\u2019s voice grew heavy with feeling, emotion tightening his throat.\u00a0 \u201cThis was one my mother\u2019s favourite places on the ranch.\u00a0 My last memory of her was when she brought me up here a few days before she died and ever since I always felt closer to her when visiting this spot than anywhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can understand how you would,\u201d Kathryn agreed sympathetically. \u201cAnd is it all Cartwright land down there?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYou can see even more from the top of this,\u201d he replied, slapping a hand against the towering giant of grey granite by his side.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve managed to climb it since I was a little kid without coming to grief so you shouldn\u2019t have any bother if you feel up to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn threw a quick glance upwards and shuddered slightly.\u00a0 \u201cNo thank you.\u00a0 I like to keep my feet firmly on the ground when I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without pressing her any further Joe hugged his knees up close to his chest, resting his chin on them as an idea formed.\u00a0 And though momentarily questioning his sanity he quickly pushed any good sense to the back of his mind.\u00a0 \u201cAs I won\u2019t get the chance again reckon I might make my way up there, just for old time\u2019s sake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn looked over with a feeling of apprehension as she realised what he was proposing.\u00a0 \u201cConsidering you can\u2019t see a hand in front of you that\u2019s got to be one of the most stupid ideas I\u2019ve ever heard.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled roguishly.\u00a0 \u201cBelieve me I\u2019ve come up with worst schemes over the years.\u00a0 Just ask Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you might injure yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow you\u2019re starting to sound like Pa,\u201d he returned light-heartedly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you can\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018can\u2019t\u2019 was not a word Joe wanted to hear as he rose to his feet. \u201cDon\u2019t worry.\u00a0 I\u2019ve managed to ride here without breaking my neck so reckon climbing this oversized boulder will be child\u2019s play in comparison.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he quickly took off his hat and dropped it to the floor Kathryn could only watch nervously, realising there was no reasoning with him as Joe turned to feel for a suitable hold on the outcrop then taking a deep breath began to cautiously scramble upwards.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Relying on memory as well as the sense of touch, fingers grasped into suitable crevices and with growing confidence Joe continued on his climb until finally there was no place else to go, and heaving himself onto the wind-weathered summit he collapsed with a grunt of relief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without his sight the climb had been more demanding and frightening than he cared to admit, but oblivious to the sweat pouring down his face for Joe the sense of satisfaction was complete.\u00a0 Riding his horse and scaling the outcrop.\u00a0 Not bad for a blind man he inwardly congratulated having never felt quite the same sense of accomplishment and pride for anything he\u2019d ever done.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease Joe, come back down now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe raised a hand in response to the anxious voice below him and with a surge of new energy and self-belief he pushed his legs over the rim and began to clamber his way to the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However the orderly descent was soon cut short when his ankle turned awkwardly under him.\u00a0 For a heart-stopping moment he tried to keep his balance but without success and in the blinking of an eye with arms flailing wildly Joe plunged downward for several feet, his fall only ending when he slammed into the unforgiving earth with a dull and sickening thud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d\u00a0 With a fearful cry Kathryn rushed over and sank down by his side.\u00a0 \u201cCan you hear me?\u00a0 Are you hurt?\u201d she asked frantically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clearly dazed and with the breath knocked out of him after coming to such a shuddering halt Joe couldn\u2019t get out as much as a croak for a few moments until tentatively he shifted around a little and realised there were no bones broken. \u201cI\u2026I\u2019m okay except maybe for a little bruising and one heck of a sore head.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn gave a sigh of relief.\u00a0 \u201cHardly surprising the way you came down so hard on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBelieve me I know how hard I landed,\u201d Joe admitted with a groan as he began massaging his throbbing skull.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was on the tip of Kathryn\u2019s tongue to say I told you so but she decided against it, no point making him feel worse than he already was.\u00a0 So without commenting she helped Joe sit up and feeling a little shaky he bowed his head between his knees for a few moments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The pounding behind his eyes slowly faded away but when Joe straightened up again he suddenly needed to narrow his eyes against a blast of brightness that without warning hit him.\u00a0 And immediately all thoughts of aches and pains from the fall were erased from his mind as his expression changed to one of utter bewilderment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn glanced over with concern.\u00a0 There was something different about him, something she couldn\u2019t quite put her finger on.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 If I didn\u2019t know better I\u2019d say you look like you\u2019ve just seen a ghost.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard her voice but was unable to answer at first.\u00a0 It defied logic but as he squinted through half opened eyes his world of darkness was now replaced by one of crystal clarity which had colour, shape and substance.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I can see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His voice was little more than a whisper but Kathryn caught the words and stared at him in total astonishment. \u201cYou can see?\u201d she echoed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still looking utterly stunned that his nightmare months of darkness were ended Joe could only nod dumbly as he eased up to a standing position and raised his eyes to the sky then gazed towards the horizon, staring hungrily at everything and anything within sight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cochise shook his mane and gave out a loud whinny as if in greeting to his master. \u00a0Joe looked over and without the need of a cane or hand on his arm to guide him walked straight to the pinto and lovingly stroked his silky smooth muzzle.\u00a0 \u201cBeen a while but good to see you again old fella,\u201d he murmured, blinking back tears as the paint pushed his face into his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe then rested a hand on the horn of his saddle and his head against his horse\u2019s neck, shaking with joyous relief that he vision was well and truly restored.\u00a0 There was a rustle of fabric, a faint familiar aroma of lavender behind him then he felt fingers lightly touch his arm.\u00a0 \u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without looking round Joe nodded though still in bemused shock and there were a few moments of silence before he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cReckon I must be one of the lucky few Morgan was talking about but I can\u2019t for the life of me work out what just happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe that jolt to the head when you hit the ground joined up what was broken,\u201d Kathryn offered as a plausible explanation. \u201cBut whatever the reason I just thank God for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAmen to that,\u201d Joe sighed and in need of a drink he unhooked his canteen and washed away the dryness in his throat with a long cooling swallow then capped the cork back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The fact he was no longer sightless and able to complete such a simple chore without assistance was enough to make Kathryn\u2019s voice choke with emotion.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so happy for you Joe\u2026so very happy,\u201d she sniffed, moved to tears as she leaned into him and hugging his arm tightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took a deep calming breath then turned his head to study the teary eyed woman by his side more closely for the first time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There weren\u2019t enough words to express the gratitude he felt towards her and though the birthmark briefly caught his attention it was immediately ignored. \u00a0\u201cSince the day we met I\u2019ve pictured you pretty. It\u2019s good to know I wasn\u2019t wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bareheaded and her long hair tied back with a velvet bow Kathryn let go of him and met his gaze full on. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to be polite or kind Joe.\u00a0 I know exactly what I look like,\u201d she quietly admitted and without waiting for a response made her way towards the outcrop and sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sensing her unease and knowing the reason for it Joe gave a sigh and followed.\u00a0 \u201cIn that case you must know I only see a sweet, generous and beautiful woman to whom I owe so much and who means the world to me,\u201d he said as he sank down beside her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A shadow of apprehension clouded Kathryn\u2019s face as she now stared at him and searched for any flicker of deceit or repulsion hidden in his expression.\u00a0 But all she saw was honesty and affection.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean it, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Smiling a gentle smile Joe gave a nod.\u00a0 \u201cEvery word,\u201d he confirmed; his voice now oddly husky.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not like Patrick.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn gave a slight shudder at the mention of her dead husband\u2019s name. \u201cNo, you could never be like Patrick,\u201d she agreed, wiping her face dry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As though neither knew what else to say a silence fell gently between them for several minutes as they rested their backs against the cold granite of the outcrop and stared out at the magnificent scenery together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell me I\u2019m not dreaming Kathryn.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to wake and still be blind am I?\u201d Joe finally asked, still hardly able to take it all in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s no dream Joe,\u201d she confirmed with feeling.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got your sight back and now you can stay on the ranch. Just wish I could bottle this beautiful view up and take it with me when I leave tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his eyes reflecting a new depth of emotion within them Joe turned to look at her.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t go to San Francisco. \u00a0Stay, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019ve got no reason to stay Joe. \u00a0And I\u2019d like to get to the school before winter sets in so the sooner I start my journey the better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took her hands, closing his own around them. \u00a0\u201cYou\u2019ve been long-suffering, caring, so understanding of me over the past months.\u201d \u00a0He paused, swallowed nervously, continued.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if I built you the house of your dreams on this very spot so we could share the view every day of our lives?\u00a0 Would that change your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not taking him seriously Kathryn chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cIs this some sort of marriage proposal by way of thanks for putting up with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A brief smile flitted across Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cIt has nothing to do with gratitude,\u201d he said, his tone soft and low.\u00a0 \u201cSomewhere between Kansas and Virginia City I fell in love with you Kathryn and you can\u2019t imagine the number of times I\u2019ve dreamt of us having a life together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a gasp of shock.\u00a0 Of all things Kathryn had never expected this. \u201cThen why\u2026why didn\u2019t you tell me before?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t have the nerve.\u00a0 I mean, you deserved better than a blind man who couldn\u2019t even find the food on his plate without help. But now that everything\u2019s changed I can take care of you the way a man takes care of the woman he loves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh Joe\u2026I don\u2019t know what to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tightened his grip, his expression earnest and tender.\u00a0 \u201cThen just say yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took a moment for Kathryn to gather her composure after his heartfelt plea.\u00a0 She had to admit she felt a deep affection towards him but with a wistful expression she slowly shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joe but there\u2019s no way we can be married.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face fell, heartbreaking pain flashing through his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn swallowed hard.\u00a0 What had she done?\u00a0 Hating herself for hurting him she quickly went on.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not that I don\u2019t have feelings for you because I have,\u201d she hurriedly assured in a trembling voice.\u00a0 \u201cBut you can only be the brother I never had, a cherished and dearly loved brother and that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared at her, frowning.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As a painful memory returned there was a long agonising silence before Kathryn spoke. \u201cRemember I told you about the baby I lost when Patrick attacked me that last time?\u201d\u00a0 Her voice though quiet was laced with bitterness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe silently nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I didn\u2019t tell you was the beating he gave me also left me unable to carry another.\u201d\u00a0 She paused, her eyes stinging with tears.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s why I can\u2019t marry you.\u00a0 I could never give you a child.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Understanding her misery Joe\u2019s eyes immediately softened with compassion.\u00a0 He slid a comforting arm around her and held her snugly to him. \u201cOh Kathryn, I\u2019m sorry\u2026so very sorry,\u201d he whispered, his words muffled as he buried his face into her hair.\u00a0 \u201cBut it wouldn\u2019t matter to me if we couldn\u2019t have children, as long as we had each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn sighed at his genuine sincerity as she slowly pulled away from his comforting hold. \u201cI\u2019m sure you think that now Joe,\u201d she said softly. \u201cBut your father has worked hard to build up the Ponderosa and give you and your brothers a legacy worth having.\u00a0 Denying him grandchildren and you the chance to have a family of your own and so pass on that legacy would in time tear us apart and I think too much of you to let it happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn placed the tips of her fingers on his lips to silence him.\u00a0 \u201cNo buts Joe.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t fight me over this,\u201d she pleaded, purposely repeating the very words he\u2019d said to his father at the dinner table the night before. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not the one for you.\u00a0 Your future is now here while mine is at the blind school where the children there can be the family I\u2019ll never have and nothing you say will change my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With her expression conveying fixed determination there was silence between them for an overly long time as Joe simply looked at her.\u00a0 He opened his mouth as if to argue then closed it again and finally heaving a sigh of defeat gave a faint nod. \u201cI love and respect you too much to fight with you Kathryn,\u201d he conceded, a sad smile lifting one corner of his mouth. \u201cI give up\u2026you win.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A single tear escaped to slide down her cheek.\u00a0 \u201cBut I don\u2019t want you to hate me Joe. Can we go on just like we have been?\u00a0 The best of friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlways,\u201d Joe promised as he tenderly brushed away a loose tendril of hair which clung to her damp face just as a distant clap of thunder echoed in the valley below. He turned his head to study a darkening sky. \u201cThere\u2019s a bank of rain clouds over the peaks heading our way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn followed his gaze.\u00a0 \u201cIn that case we\u2019d better go or we might get caught in a downpour.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a nod of agreement Joe pushed himself up and helped her to her feet.\u00a0 But before Kathryn could turn away he reached out and cupping fingers under her chin pressed his lips gently and softly on hers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The idea of pulling away didn\u2019t cross Kathryn\u2019s mind and time seemed to stand still; the sweet and tender kiss between them making her feel cherished and truly beautiful for the very first time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At last Joe drew away, those few precious moments ended. \u201cThank you\u2026for everything,\u201d he murmured softly as his arms wrapped around her and with no sense of awkwardness at the intimacy just shared they held each other in a tight and tender embrace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heaved a deep sigh at what might have been but was never to be when eventually they pulled apart.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d better go before I forget I\u2019m a gentleman,\u201d he lovingly joked, and taking hold of her hand they walked over towards the horses.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once he was sure she was settled safely on her mount Joe scooped up his hat from the ground and swung himself onto Cochise\u2019s back.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m still coming with you to San Francisco to make sure you get there safe and sound,\u201d he stated decisively as he moved the pinto to her side. \u201cNow I can see my way back on my own there\u2019s no reason for Pa to object.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kathryn nodded, comforted by the thought of his company on the last leg of her journey. \u201cI wonder how your father will react when he realises you\u2019re not blind anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cConsidering he was praying for a miracle I reckon I have a pretty good idea,\u201d Joe said quietly, feeling a sudden and urgent hankering to see the handsomely weathered face once again as he watched Kathryn move off down the trail.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now sitting high in the saddle Joe stared once more towards the vast Ponderosa landscape he\u2019d never expected to view again; the land that had fed and nurtured him all his life and where be knew he truly belonged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And he then realised Kathryn was right in what she\u2019d said. \u00a0No matter how much he loved her in time the fact he\u2019d be unable to pass on this birthright to future generations would have come between them.\u00a0 For there were some things even love couldn\u2019t survive and for having that foresight alone he owed her more than money could buy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gathered up the reins and pulled the brim of his hat down low onto his brow.\u00a0\u00a0 Though there was a dull ache in his heart for a precious love\u00a0 lost to him, happy anticipation of his future now secured on the ranch reflected in Joe’s eyes as he touched the flanks of his horse and followed Kathryn in the direction of home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With thanks to Pat (jfclover) for her beta, patience and pointing me towards the Yellow Brick Road to Kansas.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n


\n<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0A What Happened Instead for The Gamble.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe escapes from Alkali and heads towards Virginia City to fetch help.\u00a0 But what if he never got there?\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated: T\u00a0 (37,450 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9860,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,23,27],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-2390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-actionadventure","category-drama","category-whi","tag-joe","wpcat-2-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-27-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2372,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-4.jpg?fit=387%2C387&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13631,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13631","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":0},"title":"Freedom from Fear (by JennieA)","author":"JennieA","date":"January 14, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 The aftermath of Joe's kidnapping and subsequent rescue. Rating:\u00a0 R\u00a0 (33,760) Due to the subject matter contained in this series, the stories are only available via e:mail from the author -- ryjennie@comcast.net","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12135,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12135","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":1},"title":"Prelude to Rebirth (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":2},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12134,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12134","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":3},"title":"In My Father’s House (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2988,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2988","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":4},"title":"A Night In San Francisco (by frasrgrl)","author":"frasrgrl","date":"June 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0Adam and Joe are in San Francisco and all Adam wants is one night of culture.\u00a0 Word Count: 502\u00a0\u00a0Rated: T","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7172,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7172","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":5},"title":"By The Lake (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"August 7, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The aftermath of an argument sees Joe and Adam trying to mend fences.\u00a0 Rated:\u00a0 K+ \u00a0\u00a0 (730 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Friendship-4.jpg?fit=500%2C373&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9860"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}